#blameless ennon

[loretta-dont-you-oppress-me]

Elective Affinities

Let me humbly announce that I have now found a new place of action and affection. Family is where you feel you belong.

Thank you for being family, @blameless-job @ennonymous-twink @bil-daddy @sitisonmyface (unfortunately not in the picture)

[uziraphale]

@blameless-job I must apologise. I have been looking at your story from a perspective that spans more than one human lifetime. And from that perspective, it is quite marvellous that the story of you and your family is still being told more than 4000 years later (even if it is questionable whether the narrative and its moral correspond entirely to the actual events).

But it was a terrible experience for you and your family to be so severely tested and threatened ("tested to destruction", as a certain demon will one day say).

We were able to prevent the worst from happening. I lifted you up and tucked the ox's ribs into your robe, so that @bil-daddy could perform the "miracle of birth".

Because @bil-daddy and I took such a risk under the eyes of my superiors and eventually got away with it and rescued your kids (of both species), I was too focused on what we could save to see how much you lost (your peace of mind and basic trust).

Hello mister Gaiman, how are you?

I just wanna say thak you for creating job's episode in season two. Yesterday in religion class (i know it sounds weird but its not like we pray is more a class where we talk about thing like "what in this life can bring you happiness" or similar question and then we discuss about it. But the prof is a priest and sometimes he reads passages from the bible) my prof started reading parts of the book of job and I went crazy thinking about good omens and wanting to talk so badly with someone about bildad the shuhite but my classmates are all homophobic idiots so I was near explosion. But then the prof was reading the questions job asked to god and I laughed thinking of "come back when you can make a whale". He saw me and asked why was i laughing and i wanted to tell everybody to watch good omens but I couldnt so I just said "oh no its just that I know how the story ends" and he was so surprised. And nothing. This is the story. Nothing happens i just wanted to say thanks to you and terry pratchett for creating this beautiful story and the amazing community that this show brought together.

(Also, i cant wait for s3)

Have a good day!

El

I love this!

[bil-daddy]

Help a Family of Five in Need!

URGENT! DON'T SCROLL PAST THIS!

Posting on behalf of my old friend Job (@blameless-job) and his wife Sitis (@sitisonmyface) They are an interracial couple with three children currently busy weathering the wrath of @the-almighty-god

All of Job’s blameless goats were destroyed by columns of flame (I had nothing to do with this btw) and his house burned down.

Job’s blameless children, Ennon (Gay AF), Keziah (literally autistic and a minor), and Jemima (makes really cool pots), are next on God's hit list (don't ask me how I know), so we are raising money for fertility treatment in case Sitis (56) has to bear seven new children (God likes sevens). Also, if you see any lizards around, no you didn't.

So please, good people of Tumblr, consider giving whatever you can afford to this lovely family who has literally done nothing to deserve God's wrath (She won't even tell them why!)

p*yp*l

c*sh*pp

v*nmo

0/666,666,666.666

Please Reblog to Signal Boost!

[goodomensjail]

GOOD OMENS SPOILERS BELOW if you reblog it TAG IT DAMMIT. Entire Job Sequence to the Best of my inebriated (thank you Bulleit Bourbon for sponsoring) memory:

It was not entirely clear at the  Brooklyn screening when episode 1 ended; there were no end credits but i think its fairly obvious that Job flashback is the cold open of Episode 2 because the entire audience was a bit surprised when Opening Credits played again right after the first Job scene. 

Also note that the Job story is INTERCUT at apparently key moments of the main/present day plot, but it will take a second viewing for me to see exactly what they were going for/getting at. So HERE i am going to try and write the Job minisode IN ORDER without the cuts to present day because it will help my memory. 

We open on Bearded (yes that bearded) Crowley about to sacrifice a herd of goats. (note that none of the dialogue is exact, even if i put it in quotes, its just what i can recall; the dialogue throughout is delightful and funny and theres no way i can remember it all nor would it be worth it without the performances). 

Aziraphale appears in a golden light from the sky in a “stay thy hand, demon!” type way, dramatic and biblical, before he realizes “o its just you Crawley”; Aziraphale says they have not seen one another since “the flood”. 

Crowley shows Aziraphale he has “a permit” to torment Job, God’s favorite human, because Satan and God have a bet to see if Job will curse God. Aziraphale is not happy. He takes the permit to heaven to show the Archangels who delightedly tell him YES, God is allowing blameless and good Job to be tormented by demons in a bet with Satan, but ITS OKAY because of course God will win the bet and reward Job three fold!

Aziraphale is at first glad, then stunned to hear that heaven does NOT intend to raise Job’s children from the dead, however. Job’s wife Sitis will have 7 NEW CHILDREN! Yay! (this is cute as well because Aziraphale appears to be the only angel who understands human birth and that maybe Sitis doesn't want to be pregnant and give birth 7 more times? as a mom with natural births i appreciate this, neil gaiman. the archangels are oblivious to this... they just think thats what humans do: they breed and multiply). 

As Crowley in stomping through Job’s courtyard to find his three children, Aziraphale appears to reason with him. Aziraphale appeals to knowing that Crowley doesn't want to harm Job’s children because he knew him as an Angel, to which Crowley is not impressed; he is not an angel anymore. So instead, Aziraphale pivots to “i know you” and references the flood and how Crowley was shocked that God intended to kill the children. Crowley tells Aziraphale, “you do not know me”. 

And then the pigeons in the courtyard start baa-ing. Aziraphale waves his hand and the pigeons transform into a herd of goats....Crowley didn't kill them at all, he hid them away. Aziraphale looks at Crowley smugly. 

They meet the three children of Job, Ty Tennant plays a flirtatious Ennon who comes on a bit to Aziraphale. Aziraphale explains they are in danger, but the kids are not impressed because “don't you know our father? Job? he is God’s favorite”. Crowley transports all of them to the basement while a storm rages and destroys the home above; Aziraphale realizes Crowley always intended to get to the kids first and protect them from the destruction. 

While they wait out the storm, Crowley tempts Aziraphale into eating human food for the first time. Aziraphale resists at first, but we then cut to him DIGGIN IN FORACIOUSLY to some meat, while a smiling Crowley lounges nearby watching him. The kids are annoying them both, and at some point Crowley turns them all into three small lizards. The two discuss how Crowley is not really bad and doesnt really listen to hell, and Aziraphale remarks it must be lonely living as Crowley does. Crowley tell him “not really”

God wins the bet, and give some rambling messages to Job as a prophet (which he doesn't understand or appreciate, he and Sitis just want to know where the children are). The angels, with Aziraphale in tow, arrive to announce Job will be rewarded with three times wealth, and NEW CHILDREN! Job and Sitis are horrified. 

Crowley bursts in; none of the angels recognize him, he claims to be a human cobbler (its a pun for some ancient city dont worry about it) and Aziraphale jumps in to call him DOCTOR, a famous obstetrician who delivers babies. The archangels have no idea where babies come from... Aziraphale flatters Gabriel by saying well YOU were there when Eve was “born” youve seen it before. 

Crowley understand the cue, and pretends to “deliver” Job and Sitis’ new children by having Sitis pull three ribs out of Job (the animal ribs from the meat Aziraphale was eating) and transforms them into three children (the lizards hidden in Jobs robes turn into his three children).

Michael is suspicious because arent humans supposed to have “babies”, but Aziraphale cues Gabriel to tell them about Eve being fully grown. The kids are confused and almost give away the bit, but Job and Sitis play along. Gabriel turns to Aziraphale and point blank asks : “Are these their old children?” to which a PAINED Aziraphale after a look to Crowley LIES to the angels and says “no these are their new children”

We cut to Aziraphale from afar and behind (the ocean and rock shot) and Crowley comes to join him. Aziraphale is crying. (DIALOGUE THAT FOLLOWS IS NO ACCURATE ITS THE GIST)

A: “Im ready for you to take me”

C:”Take you where?” or “Where are we going” something to that effect, he is amused in a bittersweet way

A: “I lied to the archangels and foiled the plans of God. Im ready to go to hell with you”

C: amused in such a kind way, tells him something to the effect of “Youre not going to hell. I wont tell if you wont”

A: sitting on the rock next to Crowley, still teary, “How can i keep on obeying heaven?”

C: “You will take it as far as you can take it, and youll do it your way when you need”

A: “You said it wasnt lonely”

C: “I’m a demon. I lied”

Gorgeous scene of them sitting together on the rock and cut to black 

[ao3cassandraic]

Crowley the Maker, God the Wrecker, Part 2

(Part 1 discusses how angel!Crowley makes things and God wrecks them, and him as well.)

And then. She blessed damned bloody well goes right back on Her bullshit. Next time we hear about Her actually doing anything, it's the Flood. She goes and wrecks a whole region of the world, and everything and everyone in it.

And now, curiously, I must detour into speech-act theory. (Said I’d get there.) Speech-act theory grows out of the observation that under the proper circumstances, speaking is action — it actually makes a change in the world, all by itself. A classic example often used to teach this idea is an utterance we’ve seen already: “Let there be light!”

Angels aside, however, speech acts are pretty common among us humans, if you look. “I now pronounce you…” and then you are! The trick is teasing out the different kinds of speech acts (there’s a whole-ass taxonomy, but it’s not necessary here so I’ll bypass it), and working through what the necessary preconditions are for speech to turn into an action. If I say “I now pronounce you…” for example, you actually aren’t. I have no societal authority to marry people, so the necessary preconditions for the speech act have not been met.

Returning to the Flood... to add insult to horrific injury, She has graduated to inadequate fauxpologies! Talk is cheap. So are performative "rain bows," whatever those are. The "rain bow" is supposed to create a change in the world: the inability for Her to wreck it again. Does Crowley believe this? Does he hell -- just look at his face. To Crowley, actions are what counts -- and Hers are unforgivable (arc word!). Of course She's going to wreck stuff again -- it's what She does. So "rain bow" speaker-sincerity precondition has failed, ergo no speech act.

There's a fair bit of fic and fanon about Crowley rescuing whom or what he can from the Flood. I do think we've noticed that he's an action snek!

Next up, in our Ineffables' meeting chronology, is Job. God still can't be arsed to lift a divine finger -- too “busy” making disgusting bets through backchannels -- and She's even taught Heaven to be hypocritical too, by outsourcing evil actions to Hell! (How many times did She have to say "deniability" before Gabriel got it, I wonder?) And She’s out to wreck a largely-innocent family (bit entitled, but largely innocent), doubling down on Her hypocrisy by delegating the job to Hell Herself, via permit.

And Crowley thinks this is bullshit. So while Aziraphale wrings his hands reading the permit with Muriel and then the archangels, fixer Crowley does what he can to fix the situation -- by (re)making, because he is a maker at heart. He makes goats into crows! He (along with Aziraphale) loves Jemimah because she made a pot! He (re)makes a temporary refuge! He makes children into geckos! (After giving Ennon and Keziah the blessed good scare they deserve.)

He also pokes at be vs. do yet again: “You’re an angel. Angels can’t be tempted, can you? … Well, there you are, then. You’re free to try the food.” He’s not tempting Aziraphale into gluttony — well, he is, but only secondarily — he’s tempting the angel into hypocrisy, the same hypocrisy She routinely engages in. The sin where "do" is incongruent with "be."

Only it’s not, really, is it? Because eating isn’t anywhere near on the same level of unnecessary destructiveness as flooding whole civilizations or destroying a blameless family. So despite Crowley’s “see you in Hell,” he can’t follow through on it, any more than he can on murdering Ennon, Keziah, and Jemimah. He just can’t do it.

And then we get back to speech-act theory.

Poor distraught Aziraphale believes he committed a speech act when he gave his word as an angel that Job’s children are Job’s new children. He believes that solely on the basis of that lie — which, in its way, could qualify as a speech act; it made Job's old children into his new children — he has become a demon. After all, isn’t that how it worked with angel!Crowley? Say the wrong thing, get wrecked by God? Crowley knows there’s a precondition that hasn’t been met here, however: God has to actually notice someone’s tried to thwart Her will. God’s oblivious, fortunately, wittering on to Job about ostriches and whales. And Crowley won’t let on, so… failed speech act. Nothing’s changed. Nothing has to change.

But speech, in Good Omens as in the human world, is where “be” and “do” meet. And... I think... that was my point.