#blahaj so good

[cheetahdash]

I HAVE BLAHAJ

[whimsical-westbrook]

You're allowed to say my plushies too if you want

Favorite: plushie

I have like. Only two. So. I'm just gonna go with big IKEA sharpedo instead of small IKEA sharpedo

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

BACK WITH A BLAHAJ, WHO HAS NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR HIM?

HI MAGGOTS I LOVE YOU I WENT OUTSIDE PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING MONTH AND I WALKED WITH A CANE (I AM KAZ BREKKER) AND OKAY SO MY INJURED LEG MAY NOW BE RE-INJURED WITH A SPRAIN ON TOMMY THE HAEMATOMA BUT IT WAS WORTH IT I HAVE A BLAHAJ NOW:

WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR? BECAUSE SITTING ON CHAIRS IS PAINFUL FOR TOMMY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT ANYWAY MEET THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE MAGGOT FAM. ANY NAME SUGGESTIONS?

WHY AM I IN CAPS? WELL FIRST OF ALL IT'S ME, AND SECOND OF ALL IKEA OFFERS FREE REFILLS ON THEIR COFFEE. WHO AM I TO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT? I HAD A LOT OF FUCKING COFFEE WITH NO SUPERVISION EXCEPT BY @random-doctor-on-the-internet ON WHATSAPP AND ZE IS A CAFFEINE ADDICT SO I DIDN'T LISTEN TO ZIR HYPOCRISY.

AROUND THE THIRD CUP (FOURTH? I LOST TRACK?) I BEGAN TO SMELL JESUS AND I COULD FEEL MY ORGANS AND MY HEART. SO I HAD TO LEAVE THAT CUP HALF-DRUNK.

ALSO I WAS A FUCKING FOOL AS USUAL AND IKEA IS A DEATH TRAP. I ENTERED, FILLED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS OF NOT WALKING TOO MUCH ON MY INJURED LEG AFTER BEING BASICALLY IMMOBILE FOR FOUR WEEKS. I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE MAP (I'M BAD WITH MAPS) AND INSTEAD CHECKED THE LIST OF SHOWROOM THINGIES AND IT SAID THE CHILDREN'S SECTION WAS NUMBER 9 ON THE LIST OF 1 TO 10, AND I WAS AT 1, NEAR THE RESTAURANT.

SO NATURALLY I DIDN'T READ NUMBER 10 AND I SET OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE FUCKING MAZE OF SHOWROOMS WITH MY CANE, STEP CLICK STEP CLICK, WITH MY POOR RIGHT LEG AND MY RIGHT ARM ALTERNATIVELY SUPPORTING MY WEIGHT. I ALSO GOT LOST. MORE THAN ONCE.

FINALLY I REACHED THE CHILDREN'S SECTION, PROCURED MY BLAHAJ, SAW A TINY WHALE WHO'D FALLEN OUT OF HIS BUNDLE AND ALMOST TOOK HIM TOO SINCE HE'S UNSELLABLE BUT THEN ABANDONED HIM COZ I DIDN'T HAVE THE BRAINPOWER TO EXPLAIN TO THE CASHIER THAT IT WASN'T ME WHO RIPPED HIM OUT, AND ANYWAY. I GOT WHAT I CAME FOR.

THEN I THOUGHT AH SHIT GONNA HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE RESTAURANT AND I TOOK A STEP FORWARD AND REALISED... I WAS AT THE FUCKING RESTAURANT???? WHERE I'D BEGUN???????

BECAUSE THE NUMBER FUCKING NINE WAS CHILDREN'S SECTION AND THE NUMBER FUCKING TEN WAS THE RESTAURANT. I'D WALKED IN A CIRCLE. AND LANDED STRAIGHT BACK. I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THAT IF I'D JUST READ THE LAST ITEM ON THE NUMBERS. OR LOOKED AT THE MAP.

OH AND THE PLACE AT THE METRO DIDN'T HAVE WATER SO I DRANK SUGARY SODA AND THEN WENT UP THE WRONG PLATFORM ANYWAY SO TOMMY IS FUCKED NOW I MAY HAVE SCREWED UP WHATEVER PROGRESS I MADE.

HALLELUJAH!

IF YOU READ THIS FAR WOW THANKS I LOVE YOU *BITES YOU TO SHOW AFFECTION* ANYWAY AGAIN THE BLAHAJ NEEDS A NAME AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY I'M SO COFFEE ANEHEHEHEHE

[mspaint-flower]

i got a blahaj yesterday

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

Irene and Skadi fighting over the only blahaj in the Rhodes Island store and when they’re both distracted with each other Andreana grabs it

[neuroglitch]

To be loved is to be changed..

Featuring my old trusty shark and his new friend.

[birdsagainsthumanity]

Got home from work and my partner had tucked in my blahaj like a baby.

[other-floret-friend]

affini need to come up with plushies that moan and beg

Oh, absolutely! They're already so precious when they're packed with xenodrugs that you're none-the-wiser to, finding yourself always getting into a pathetically needy state of rut whenever you're around one of them... but then hearing them moan and beg as you hump against them, pleading for you to keep going, to keep making both of you feel good, to be pretty and precious with your lovely little plushie that you love so, so much... gosh, that'd just send you over the edge.

It probably gets even worse when you end up carrying them around with you everywhere, those class-C's having made you practically inseperable. Thankfully, the Compact doesn't mind too much when a silly little floret like you starts pathetically mewling and humping away at their plushie like the desperate little thing they really are!

[pwecie]

One time when I was on a plane, I was carrying my ikea shark in my hands and halfway through the flight some other passenger comes up to me and goes “Are you also trans?” And since I got up at the ass crack of dawn, my brain misfired and I said “No but I wish.” Paused for 5 seconds, apologized, and said “Sorry, brain fart. I am ace tho!” We had a good chuckle about it so it all worked out!

[blahaj-enjoyer-1]

hm.......

[shokushii]

more blahaj doodles 🦈

(because its midnight and i cant sleep lmao)

honestly these look p good! might even polish em and turn them into like, actual stickers (even if theyre just like. for me) if i have time. blahaj my beloved <33

[bee8467]

I finally got a blahaj i am now really trans and my life is complete <3

[shambles-rambles]

he is home

and so fashionable already

i am a proud father

[infinitycarrot1]

Here's a drawing I made for Marigolds 2nd birthday 🥳

This is also an entry for my Marigolds birthday dtiys challenge. It's still ongoing. Here's a twitter post with more info (the link to the Tumblr post won't work for some reason idk why lmao):

[nebulous-girlthing]

blahaj sunday monday (idea taken from @yamada-ryo)

[diluc33rpm]

i present to you: my new rowlet plush

ft. my army of plushies. not shown: my aunt/dad's uni mascot, my blahaj, and my big ass duck plush

ah, i see you are a sumikko gurashi cat haver as well.....

fellow pokemon plushie jumpscare