#blahaj so good

[cheetahdash]

I HAVE BLAHAJ

[whimsical-westbrook]

You're allowed to say my plushies too if you want

Favorite: plushie

I have like. Only two. So. I'm just gonna go with big IKEA sharpedo instead of small IKEA sharpedo

[somelegobird]

Lloyd seeks counselling from a higher being, blåhaj (and then falls asleep on him like that one Totoro scene)

also

good.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

BACK WITH A BLAHAJ, WHO HAS NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR HIM?

HI MAGGOTS I LOVE YOU I WENT OUTSIDE PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING MONTH AND I WALKED WITH A CANE (I AM KAZ BREKKER) AND OKAY SO MY INJURED LEG MAY NOW BE RE-INJURED WITH A SPRAIN ON TOMMY THE HAEMATOMA BUT IT WAS WORTH IT I HAVE A BLAHAJ NOW:

WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR? BECAUSE SITTING ON CHAIRS IS PAINFUL FOR TOMMY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT ANYWAY MEET THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE MAGGOT FAM. ANY NAME SUGGESTIONS?

WHY AM I IN CAPS? WELL FIRST OF ALL IT'S ME, AND SECOND OF ALL IKEA OFFERS FREE REFILLS ON THEIR COFFEE. WHO AM I TO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT? I HAD A LOT OF FUCKING COFFEE WITH NO SUPERVISION EXCEPT BY @random-doctor-on-the-internet ON WHATSAPP AND ZE IS A CAFFEINE ADDICT SO I DIDN'T LISTEN TO ZIR HYPOCRISY.

AROUND THE THIRD CUP (FOURTH? I LOST TRACK?) I BEGAN TO SMELL JESUS AND I COULD FEEL MY ORGANS AND MY HEART. SO I HAD TO LEAVE THAT CUP HALF-DRUNK.

ALSO I WAS A FUCKING FOOL AS USUAL AND IKEA IS A DEATH TRAP. I ENTERED, FILLED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS OF NOT WALKING TOO MUCH ON MY INJURED LEG AFTER BEING BASICALLY IMMOBILE FOR FOUR WEEKS. I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE MAP (I'M BAD WITH MAPS) AND INSTEAD CHECKED THE LIST OF SHOWROOM THINGIES AND IT SAID THE CHILDREN'S SECTION WAS NUMBER 9 ON THE LIST OF 1 TO 10, AND I WAS AT 1, NEAR THE RESTAURANT.

SO NATURALLY I DIDN'T READ NUMBER 10 AND I SET OFF THROUGH THE WHOLE FUCKING MAZE OF SHOWROOMS WITH MY CANE, STEP CLICK STEP CLICK, WITH MY POOR RIGHT LEG AND MY RIGHT ARM ALTERNATIVELY SUPPORTING MY WEIGHT. I ALSO GOT LOST. MORE THAN ONCE.

FINALLY I REACHED THE CHILDREN'S SECTION, PROCURED MY BLAHAJ, SAW A TINY WHALE WHO'D FALLEN OUT OF HIS BUNDLE AND ALMOST TOOK HIM TOO SINCE HE'S UNSELLABLE BUT THEN ABANDONED HIM COZ I DIDN'T HAVE THE BRAINPOWER TO EXPLAIN TO THE CASHIER THAT IT WASN'T ME WHO RIPPED HIM OUT, AND ANYWAY. I GOT WHAT I CAME FOR.

THEN I THOUGHT AH SHIT GONNA HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE RESTAURANT AND I TOOK A STEP FORWARD AND REALISED... I WAS AT THE FUCKING RESTAURANT???? WHERE I'D BEGUN???????

BECAUSE THE NUMBER FUCKING NINE WAS CHILDREN'S SECTION AND THE NUMBER FUCKING TEN WAS THE RESTAURANT. I'D WALKED IN A CIRCLE. AND LANDED STRAIGHT BACK. I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THAT IF I'D JUST READ THE LAST ITEM ON THE NUMBERS. OR LOOKED AT THE MAP.

OH AND THE PLACE AT THE METRO DIDN'T HAVE WATER SO I DRANK SUGARY SODA AND THEN WENT UP THE WRONG PLATFORM ANYWAY SO TOMMY IS FUCKED NOW I MAY HAVE SCREWED UP WHATEVER PROGRESS I MADE.

HALLELUJAH!

IF YOU READ THIS FAR WOW THANKS I LOVE YOU *BITES YOU TO SHOW AFFECTION* ANYWAY AGAIN THE BLAHAJ NEEDS A NAME AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY I'M SO COFFEE ANEHEHEHEHE

[mspaint-flower]

i got a blahaj yesterday

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

Irene and Skadi fighting over the only blahaj in the Rhodes Island store and when they’re both distracted with each other Andreana grabs it

[neuroglitch]

To be loved is to be changed..

Featuring my old trusty shark and his new friend.

[make-friends-with-the-rats]

lost in ikea....

(click for better quality)

---

@noctilucaa @uncertaininnit <- y'all made me do this

[birdsagainsthumanity]

Got home from work and my partner had tucked in my blahaj like a baby.

[pwecie]

One time when I was on a plane, I was carrying my ikea shark in my hands and halfway through the flight some other passenger comes up to me and goes “Are you also trans?” And since I got up at the ass crack of dawn, my brain misfired and I said “No but I wish.” Paused for 5 seconds, apologized, and said “Sorry, brain fart. I am ace tho!” We had a good chuckle about it so it all worked out!

[blahaj-enjoyer-1]

hm.......

[shokushii]

more blahaj doodles 🦈

(because its midnight and i cant sleep lmao)

honestly these look p good! might even polish em and turn them into like, actual stickers (even if theyre just like. for me) if i have time. blahaj my beloved <33

[bee8467]

I finally got a blahaj i am now really trans and my life is complete <3

[dantelionwishes]

I GOT A BLÅHAJ 🦈😭🫶💙✨️💦

[shambles-rambles]

he is home

and so fashionable already

i am a proud father

[infinitycarrot1]

Here's a drawing I made for Marigolds 2nd birthday 🥳

This is also an entry for my Marigolds birthday dtiys challenge. It's still ongoing. Here's a twitter post with more info (the link to the Tumblr post won't work for some reason idk why lmao):