#black butler crack fic

[kywaslost]

I was wondering if you could do a request that’s slightly crack but at the same time angst and fluff? Or you can just read this as crack because idc.

Ciel x reader but basically the reader is a criminal who is almost constantly doing things that go against the Queen but every time she gets caught, Ciel is so just—

Ciel: … Are you sorry for what you did?

Reader: yes…☹️

Ciel: she’s innocent.

Sebastian: what no—

He’s like a gentle parent that gives a gentle hit on the wrist then apologizes because he doesn’t ever want the reader to hate him or be taken away from him because he already has had all that he loves taken from him. So no matter if the reader is using him or not to get away with things he will always vouch for her innocence. So he makes Sebastian frame people for the readers crimes. And Sebastian is getting sick of it because of how repetitive it’s getting.

Turn The Other Way - Ciel Phantomhive

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this one! I hope you like it! Also, today is the first ‘fanfic Friday’ as I’m gonna call it. And requests are still open! <3

Warning/s: mentions of murder, arson

You were much like Snake, a lost ally of the Earl Phantomhive with nowhere to go. Similar to Snake’s upbringing as a servant, you met Ciel and Sebastian during one of their missions from the Queen. You were actually not involved with the case what-so-ever, but got caught up in one of the duo’s man hunts as they chased after someone they thought was the criminal. They ended up chasing you, mistaking you for the man they were looking for.

The man in question was a skilled arsonist, setting fires all throughout London without being caught. One would call it a coincidence that you had nothing to do with this case until you were caught by Sebastian and CIel. They apologized, releasing you and explaining what they were trying to do and who they were trying to catch. You brushed them off, rushing to get home. What the two didn’t know was that you had just robbed a small store, and were on the run back home.

It didn’t take much longer for you to run into the two again, accept this time it was much worse. You ran home to see smoke billowing into the dark sky common from the direction of your apartment. You arrived on scene, seeing someone hiding in the dark smoke of your now-burning home. 

Being a skilled criminal, you knew a thing or two about escapism, making it easier to catch the man who had burnt your home to a crisp. He was fast, and you’d admit he was also very skilled, but so were you. It didn’t take long at all to catch him and tie him up.

You were dragging him by the rope you tied him with, swearing at him and threatening to end his life when you bumped into someone. Being in your current terrible mood, you began yelling at the person you ran into, not realizing it was Sebastian until you managed to get a good look at him.

“Here’s the guy you were looking for,” you growled, shoving the skilled criminal into the butler. “Too little too late.”

Ciel stood close by, watching as firemen attempted to quell the flames of the burning apartment building. “Is this your home?”

You glared at the Earl, then growled, “Yeah. Like I said, too little too late. I caught the guy and I wasn’t even looking for him.” All you had left of your belongings was a small backpack field with a spare outfit and everything you had stolen just hours ago. You adjusted the bag on your shoulder and turned to leave. “Thanks for nothing, guard dog.” You turned your back to the two, stomping away in anger. 

“Wait!” Ciel exclaims, gripping your wrist to stop you from leaving. “Come with us.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning back to the boy. “What?”

“Come with us,” Ciel said again. “You are clearly skilled in something, and you caught the man we’ve been looking for for 4 days, in just an hour.” Ciel smiled ever so slightly. “We could use you. Come be a servant at Phantomhive Manor.”

You shook your hand from his grasp with a scowl. “Why would I want to serve you?”

“We can make a deal,” Sebastian offers. “If you serve Lord Phantomhive, we will provide you with housing and meals, free of charge. All we ask is that you accompany us on any missions we may require you of, as well as completing daily household chores.”

That’s how you came about becoming one of Ciel Phantomhive’s maids. You were spiteful at first, and you had the right to be. Afterall, the Queen’s guard dog failed to save your home, and all of the very few belongings you possessed. But after a few months, you got used to your new life, and dare you say you even enjoyed it. Your room was small yet larger than your old one, and you were allowed to decorate it any way you pleased. The food was excellent, incomparable to the scraps you had to eat as a criminal. 

Living with the Earl made it difficult to keep up with your hobbies.The manor’s other servants kept a close eye on the property, making it nearly impossible to sneak out. So you took your off time on missions to sneak off and break every rule the Queen had set in. You weren’t entirely sure why you found it so enjoyable to be rebellious against the Queen, but it filled you with adrenaline that you couldn’t find anywhere else. 

You were staying in London with Sebastian and Ciel. You were used to the system by now, hunting day and night for whoever, or whatever, you were looking for. You were often left to your own devices, since Ciel ended protection 24/7. This left you open and available for whatever you desired. Today’s task was vandalizing a new monument the Queen was having built in Central London. 

You gathered everything you needed, buckets of brightly colored paint, gloves, and paint brushes. You snuck through the quiet city, enjoying the peacefulness of it all. The unfinished monument left vulnerable, practically asking to be messed with. Smiling widely, you dipped a gloved hand into an open bucket of yellow paint, taking a handful and splattering it across the monument. 

You were 3 colors in when you felt someone grab your hand tightly, keeping you from flinging more paint.

“Y/N?” You froze, breath stalling as you hear Ciel’s voice from behind you.

“Yes master?” you say quietly, afraid of what the boy would do to you. Was he going to fire you? Kick you out and make you live on the streets?

“What are you doing?”

“It seems as if she is vandalizing the Queen’s new prized monument,” Sebastian answers with a glare. The demon awaited for Ciel’s punishment with great joy. Sebastian liked you, don’t get him wrong, but he knew there was something up with you since day 1. His glowing red eyes turned to Ciel with a wicked smile. “How should I punish her, my lord?”

Ciel did not look at Sebastian, eyes still on you. He looked over you, and then your new work of art. He sighed, then asked, “Are you sorry?”

You raised an eyebrow in confusion and Sebastian’s smile dropped almost instantly. “Huh?”

“Are you sorry for what you’ve done?” Ciel asked again, staring at you as he awaited your response.

“Sir, with all do respect,” Sebastian interrupted. “Y/N deserves to be punished and turned in to the Queen for her crimes.”

Ciel raised a hand to silence his Butler. “Y/N, are you sorry?”

You were beyond confused but answered the boy with a soft, “I’m sorry master. I feel awful.”

Ciel straightened, then finally turned to Sebastian. “She’s innocent.”

Sebastian shook his head with shock. “What?!” 

Ciel began walking back towards the place the three of you were staying. “Y/N, follow me. We must get you cleaned up. Sebastian, pin this on someone else. We will continue our search for John Doe tomorrow morning.” Turning to look at Sebastian one last time Ciel sternly said, “That’s an order.”

You shot a sly smile towards Sebastian, then followed the Earl. “Yes, sir.”

Sebastian grumbled, but bowed slightly. “Yes, my lord.” He shot you a glare before disappearing.

You weren’t sure why Ciel let you off the hook, but you didn’t complain. In fact, you pushed your luck, letting yourself get caught every time you tried to steal, vandalize, or rob. Each time, Ciel asked you if you were sorry. You’d say yes, fein a pout, then watch as Sebastian would growl, then grumble as he’s left to clean up your messes. 

After one night where picking up after you was particularly brutal, Sebastian came grumbling to Ciel. “Why do you excuse her behavior?”

“I’m sorry?” Ciel asks with a raised brow. “Who are you to question my actions?”

“She’s a criminal, my lord,” Sebastian continued. “She should not continue to be around you with this behavior.”

“Has she ever harmed me or my name?”

“No, but-”

“Then leave it.” Ciel barked, standing from his spot on the bed where Sebastian changed him from his night clothes. “I cannot lose anyone else. As long as she is safe with us, you will continue to watch after her and keep her from being caught by the queen.”

Sebastian took a deep breath. “I did not know that you felt this way about Y/N.” Bowing lowly, he continued. “I will protect her as I do you, my lord.”

“Use me as an excuse if you have to,” Ciel sighs. “I don’t care. Make sure she stays with us.” He couldn’t risk losing you. Whether you truly were using him, or just doing this due to old habit, you were all Ciel had left. He couldn’t risk anything happening to you or the other servants, so as long as he’s alive he is going to see you as innocent and keep you out of harm’s way of the Queen.

[soot-and-salt]

Lucifer needs help, and fast. The royal palace needs to be re-opened and cleaned in three days for an important meeting with hellborn representatives of the other Sins. He has no clue, no staff, and no way to get this done in time.

Always on the hunt for new entertainment, Alastor agrees to take on the role of Lucifer's butler for a few days to ensure the meeting is a success.

The Radio Demon might just enjoy it a little too much though.

Or, Sebastian Michaelis, eat your heart out.

There is something very wrong with me, I think

[eemoo1o-animoo]

Okay so what if… r!Ciel tries forcing The Undertaker to be his butler, and Undertaker’s like “lol no” and so then he just stabs him with a fork

[pokesoniclegend]

You ever just, accidentally come up with a decent concept for a fanfiction based around essentially a crossover crackship because you saw a post/thread that essentially caused a brainrot for that specific crackship. Because that's what ended up happening.

[amarylliasky]

Number 6 is kind of a random post!

Random things that I frequently forget exist and are canon in Tcf/lcf

1. Choi Han canonically has three ancient powers.

2. The exact words Eruhaben used to describe Cale’s face are “a bit fancy.” What’s even better is, from that phrase alone, Alberu is immediately able to deduce that it is Cale he is talking about.

3. Rasheel beat the crap out of Dorph and the lion was never heard from again(not in any significance or that I remember anyway. It’s been a hot minute since I read the end of part 1).

4. Ron and Beacrox never had their housewarming party. Cale and Raon even said they would bring gifts.

5. Alberu has other half siblings aside from Robbit and the third prince(who still doesn’t have a name).

6. Lee Chul Min of Earth 1 became a guild leader.

7. Hubesha exists. Add onto that, Priest Gersey exists(I know, I know, they are major antagonists in the later parts of part 1, but it’s been a while ok?)

8. Cale left a priest robe for Clopeh to find, along with a note. Clopeh probably still has it. I’d wager that’s one of the first items on display in the future museum he establishes.

9. (Mentions part 2!!!!!!———>) So far the only person to hide in the ceiling without being uncovered(not undiscovered tho) was that random tail Imperial Prince Adin put on Cale when the Roan envoy arrived at the Empire. This includes xxxx xxxx xxx and Cale himself.

10. Hannah could technically be the youngest swordmaster. Choi Han is over 100 years old and Bud is in his mid thirties. (Of course, that also depends on how skilled Clopeh was at her age too).

11. Cale smacks Beacrox on the head. He then proceeds to dump water on him. He then pats Beacrox’s head with a ‘disgustingly gentle expression.’ Lol.

12. Cale plots his own demise at one point(I could never forget this gem, but every once in a while I just get so surprised that it’s canon and not some sort of crack fic. Not to mention Alberu feeling like he lost to WS because Cale said his cookies were better).

13. Alberu brews tea as a hobby.

14. During the test where Cale is invisible, when they meet Eruhaben but he’s been tricked by the WS/SG, Eruhaben and Raon are about to fight. Meanwhile Cale is, of all places, curled up in a ball between them. Like, why would you just sit there?! Ik he can’t be seen or touched, but still! Also Eruhaben called him a rat. :(

15. On and Cale go on a father-daughter undercover mission disguised as academy students. (I would actually really like to read a fic where they go undercover at an academy in their world, not a crossover or au.

16. Taerang came from Earth 3, right? So hypothetically, since there is a Kim Rok Soo on Earth 1 and 2, does that mean there’s also one on Earth 3? Just something I like to think about. Also, it’s supposedly a mashup of Earth and Cale’s current world, right? So hypothetically speaking, does that mean that both Kim Rok Soo and all of the characters from The Birth of a Hero could possibly exist in one world? I just think that’s cool. I’d like to see that.

17. Cale was gifted an evil sword/dagger from the former Emperor of Mogoru. According to Raon, it has an ‘evil aura.’ Though he does give it back, and I genuinely can’t remember it being of any significance since then.

18. They roleplay going on a walk/ having a picnic in front of the secret entrance to the basement of the Alchemist Bell Tower.

19. Canonically, members of the Penguin tribe apparently waddle around in black outfits and make the best butlers, as stated by Whitiria. Because if that doesn’t scream fantasy cliche I don’t know what does.

20. Cale has two different fears at the beginning and during the war with WS. One is to be the last one alive at the end of the battles, similar to his life as Kim Rok Soo; the other is for his life as Cale Henituse to be just a dream. Both are extremely sad and so like him. It’s not really something I forgot, but it’s also something I think the fandom just doesn’t talk about enough. Like, we all know(and love) to talk about the test on Wind Island, but what about the illusion Elisneh traps him in? To imagine himself waking up as Kim Rok Soo the day after; like all that he experienced, his entire family he built, was all just a dream? That’s heart wrenching. That for me is genuinely one of the most impactful moments in the novel.

Now spoilers for part 2 for those who don’t know what I was talking about on number 9.

///////////////

Cale and Choi Han were discovered in the ceiling by the WS when they sneak into the Dubori territory Capital. Funnily enough though, the only reason Choi Jung Soo was discovered was because he was so shocked by Cale coughing up blood that he was discovered by the Carnage Demon and then they fell through the ceiling.

///

Edit: I edited some of these cuz they’re not actually accurate. In case anyone’s wondering.

[bookishcatcafe]

Of the Full Moon (Stolas POV Fic Post-Full Moon ep.)

The silence in Stolas’s halls were unlike any other. He could still hear it ringing across the recesses of his mind. An apology, started, yet unfinished.

              I fucked up—again. Another love now lost. If Stella was here to see this…I can only imagine the tormenting taunts she’d throw at me. The ‘Sorry-not-sorry’ and a dash of ‘I told you so’s’. You poor thing.

              Poor thing…Poor you. You sad disgrace of a Goetia. No. A disgrace of a lover, Hellborn, father, and a fucking friend! Who else deserves love? Not you. Has father taught you nothing? He showed you nothing of importance. Your earnestness is queer, stripped away like the crown on your brow, and the stars at your fingertips. No one will look your way. Not your daughter. Nor your ex or your friends. Not even yourself.

              The bed still unruffled. The wind drifts across these corridors and carries with it no laughter or lustful moan. Merely, a soft afternote of lavender dimly is emitted in the main chambers. On the counter, was an empty pill bottle. Beside it a freshly cut rose, liquid dripping from one of its thorns. Stolas wandered down the halls, his butler no where to be seen nor his daughter. His finger pricked by his rose, dripping down a shallow trail of black.

              Come back.

              The full moon was bright, sending down to the foreground light like that of the shimmering sun.

              Is that what Heaven is like?

              In the garden, he opened the greenhouse, observing his beauties stand around or slowly creak as they watched him enter. It was a humid stench, weighing down his shoulders, his eyes feeling the weight first before his chest felt the same.

              Only to see you. Only to hold you. Come back.

              The path below his bare taloned feet were cobblestone, near each plant a small identification card, he treated this place not as some basic arboretum but a place of solace and safety. Now laying atop the cobblestone path, curled, a man-eating-lotus trap curled over too breathing over his face. In unconscious decision, he rubbed its head, only for it to curl back into standing position, turning to and fro to each possible exit.

              Don’t look my way.

              Stolas held onto his chest with his bloody palm, the tears flowing in silent whimpers. A gentle hoot or two came out between the sobs. The weight of Hell towering over him and he simply ached for the light at the precipice between then and now.     

              If I just took the time to listen to him. If I just stopped talking for just one damn moment. If I could’ve been clearer and actually fucking was sympathetic for the first time in my life…he’d be here with me. Why did I shut him down so fast? Am I tired of the games? Does he even love me? He kept blabbering on about sex…and I love that about him…but I just want something else outside of that. Why couldn’t I have just gone along with it?

              The way he yelled at me, about my royal status, I am not like the others. I have tried and tried hard to learn from his point of view. I have tried to make it work between us. I wanted it to work, I got the crystal to make it so, and yet I ruined it with my aristocratic beak!

              He shuddered, feeling nauseous now, shutting his eyes to push away the light of the moon which inched its ways past his eyelids and seeped into his being.

              Blitz…was crying. His usual tough exterior was cracked by what I said. His vulnerability unshrouded by my words and he yelled at me. I fucked up. I fucked up horribly. I just…don’t know how to make this right again. Is it my choice to make us whole again? Were we even whole to begin with?

              Drifting away, on a paper boat without a bottom, far from isles and the lighthouse dimly lit, the fog overtook thought and mind, and he became waterlogged.

He…was right.

[anewp0tat0]

Hi!! I discovered your blog some days ago, your dadbastian art it's amazing I really loved it <333 it's so funny and sweet :') and I found coattails fic because of it too, do you have any other fic recs with that vibe?

Hi!!! omilord that's awesome of you to say thank you tons🥹 it means a lot, I'm happy to be a proud representative. and OHHH my art made you read Coattails??? that's awesome hahaha my propaganda WORKED!!! \(•[]•)/ read at your own pace and sucks it all up if you're still reading.

as for your question, I unfortunately find it hard to make time to sit down and read a lot nowadays, so I sadly have not been able to read a lot. I do hope to change that soon, but in the meantime, here's a short list of some that I've started/very much plan to read!

The Whole Being Dead Thing: by @milfhandholder - I was first introduced to it when Maia took inspiration from a reaper training fanart I did and showed me her fic, and I was really thrilled. the rest of the fic is amazing so far, I absolutely love looking at other people's interpretations of the reapers realm and how the facility works, and this is a stellar example. basically, world building💯 and the characters are cool.

Black and Baby Blue: by @blackbutler-sideblog - I unfortunately only got to read the teaser/prologue/first chapter(?) so far, but I love the concept so far and really look forward to cracking it. basically, its dadbastian, him having to raise a young o!ciel. and it looks like it will be very sweet and heavy:>

Ludo: by @pain-in-the-butler - same author as Coattails, so you'll like it. it was written during Bard's arc if I recall(it feels like so long ago), it's one of my favorite one shots. so if you feel like you don't see enough of Bardad and his relationship with o!ciel, go ahead.

The Story of Grelle the Reaper: by @eemoo1o-animoo - I also have not gotten the chance to read all of it, but I know I started it a little while ago and I remember really liking the writing(as someone who loves atmosphere and detail). it's a take I've never seen before on Grelle's backstory, and I'm here to see where it goes.

Vigil: by @house0fsugar - I'm incredibly happy they showed me this fic cause oh my god, I don't think I've ever felt so dreadful for the reapers. it's a beautiful story of the reaper gang going back to their graves.... what more can I say. I don't think I've ever loved the group dynamic more. the character building, 💯

Bloom: by @shinigami-dispatch-association - of course I have to mention the fanfic that is directly inspired by the reaper training artwork I mentioned above(its this), now only am I incredibly honored, but I think this fic took every idea I had and made it into exactly what I thought it would be. a wonderful imaginative piece, I hope to reread it soon.

The Little Lost Star: by @grelleswife wrote a while ago, but it was like, the first fanart I every posted here, so ofc I remember it still. it's the sweetest. there are so many other good fics of hers that I haven’t gotten around to yet ugh.

nice to meet another wheat in the dadbastian field☺️ have a good day!

[caotictimmy]

Haiii I’m finally dropping my request list just a quick note, I do almost anything smut to crack fics I’m pretty lenient, I also get request out quick,

I only really do afab reader, Gn reader and fem reader (sorry masc💔) no charecter x charecter sorry

No bodily fluids like piss

No type of incest or stepcest

No rape of sexual assault

No heavy heavy dark topics (like kidnapping)

No smut for minors (if the character is or above 18 in later seasons I’ll probably do it, please just specify)

Now to the fandoms

Pokémon

Creepypasta

Fnaf (games and movie)

Stardew valley

Genshin

Hsr

Black butler

Demon slayer

Jjk

Obey me

Chainsaw man

Supernatural

Criminal mines

Tlou

Bsd

Total drama

Resident evil

Smiling friends

Detroit becomes human

Across the spiderverse

Now if you stayed around, here is some things I enjoy writing for the most!

Bakery owner! Reader

Smut😈

Tooth rotting fluff

Head canons

[troutberryspoon]

Unhallowed Heart - Chapter 6: 'In dreams'

Gortash and Villi are named as their Gods' Chosen [or, Gortash gets caught in a lie] Warnings - depictions of drunkenness

(I was fully planning on there being some smut here but the word count ran away with me. Next chapter I swear)

Word count - 3076

Full fic here on AO3

Later that night.

‘I know we’re a…we’re a murder cult…but why’s this party sooo dead?’ Villi laughed at his own joke. Ha, he was hilarious. He raised a chalice to his lips, only to pout when nothing came out. ‘Sceleritas! Ya lil’ bugger…where– oh, there you are…wine’s gone.’

Sceleritas studiously ignored the empty vessel that was being waggled under his nose. ‘I think it might be time for you to retire to your chambers, Master.’

‘An’ I think it’s time for yooo-uuu to get me s’more wine,’ Villi said with another drunken giggle. He tried to place the chalice on his Butler’s top hat, missing by quite some way and watching sadly as it cracked on the stone floor. ‘Ah, cockrot. S’your fault, that. You moved.’

‘I assure you–’

‘Fuckit, I’m goin’ to bed anyway, I’m dyin’ of boredom.’ Villi heaved himself out of his chair, only for the ground to swell and roll beneath his feet. ‘Hells. Gettin’ choppy in ‘ere. Bed ahoy!’

Sceleritas carefully guided the giggling Bhaalspawn to his chamber, grabbing his leg when a wobble threatened to become a faceplant.

‘Get yer claws off me arse,’ Villi muttered, making a half-hearted swipe for the fiend’s head. His hand met empty air.

‘Nearly there. I do wish you wouldn’t let yourself get into such a state.’

‘Say one word about proper conduct an’ I’ll…I’ll kick yer teeth in.’ Villi pitched forward once his bed was within falling distance, dropping gratefully into its piles of soft cotton and feather bedspreads. He hummed happily. He would never ever take a comfy, clean bed for granted. Not ever. ‘I used to sleep in straw, y’know,’ he said, muffled by a pillow.

Sceleritas started to remove Villi’s boots. ‘I know,’ he said.

‘We all had lice.’

‘I know. Those days are long behind you now, my Liege. You will find a carafe of water on the nightstand–’

‘I miss the parties we had, though.’ Villi rolled over, wrapping himself in a blanket as he went, still fully dressed but now minus his boots. The room continued to spin even when he stopped rolling and held onto the side of the bed. ‘Here, no-one drinks, not like I do. There’s no music. No-one dances. They’re all miserable getz. We should be celebrating.’

‘But we are celebrating! Sister Nudvaoi recited the full Prayer of Crimson, there are some truly rousing stanzas in that one,’ Sceleritas said. ‘It always gives me the tingly goosebumps.’

‘Ugh. Piss off.’

The bed was bobbing about on unruly seas. Villi closed his eyes but it just made the feeling worse. At least Sceleritas had vanished when he opened them again. He yawned, wondering how he’d ever manage to fall asleep while his brain sloshed around in a vat of wine, and started to hum a song he remembered from his years sleeping under the stars:

Under moon's twisted grin, we dance and sing,

For warrakul hearts know only one thing.

When dawn breaks, we'll vanish like smoke on the breeze,

Back to our shadowed lairs, where secrets appease.

So raise your tankards high, let the plunder be sung,

For warrakul hearts beat fierce, forever wild and young.

And then he was out.

___

He awoke with a rough gasp, freezing cold and completely sober. As he pushed himself upright his hands slapped polished stone: he was no longer in his comfortable bed. He was lying on a slab, or some kind of altar. It was dark.

‘Sceleritas?’ His voice bounced back unanswered from unseen walls, mocking him.

He swung his legs from the slab, stood up, and looked around. Anger percolated in his chest, thick and hot. He wondered who would dare to take him from his chambers, dress him in a long black robe he didn’t recognise, and lay him out like a winter solstice buffet. Whoever it was had made a horrible mistake.

‘Sceleritas?’ he called again, this time louder, sharper.

Red, unnatural flames flickered to life along the cavernous walls, adding not so much illumination as a deeply unsettling atmosphere.

‘The Butler is not here.’

The voice was blood, torn flesh, grasping fingers, the rattle of a last breath.

Villi’s insides twisted in fear and awe. He turned around, searching for the voice’s source.

The man stood by the head of the altar, watching him. And it was an altar, now that Villi could see it in full view. A burly man with long, unkempt black hair, a full bristling beard, and hatred in his eyes.

‘My Lord Bhaal,’ Villi said, his breath leaving him in a rush.

‘Child. Here we stand at last. I am about to name you my Chosen.’

Villi bowed his head. ‘I am honoured–’

‘It was not my choice.’

‘M-my Lord?’

Prowling with a wolf’s hunger, Bhaal circled his spawn. ‘It is too soon, but I lost a wager. To Bane. He wanted to test a new follower, one he claimed was a master manipulator. The test? You.’

‘I don’t understand…’ Villi feared that he did understand, all too well. ‘Do you mean the alliance? I can explain–’

‘The alliance I can forgive. The alliance I expected. Such a pact is not worth the vellum it is written on. I told Bane as such. I wanted to wager something I thought would be impossible. I said to him: I see your pact and I raise you… a kiss.’

Villi’s stomach lurched and dropped in a sickening freefall.

‘My only living child. I was certain you could not be tempted by the poisoned honey that oozes from the axe wound of a Banite’s mouth.’

‘I–I didn’t–’

‘Silence.’

Bhaal didn’t shout. Didn’t yell. The command was delivered with the same measured, growling tone as the rest of his words, but the force of it drove Villi to his knees. A hand of iron bit relentlessly into his jaw, dragging his gaze up to the harrowing pits of his Father’s eyes. Endless misery danced there, twin daggers burning into his skull.

‘Now, tonight, I must name you my Chosen, as Bane names this Enver Gortash his. And you and I, child, will be pressed into their service. Those were the stakes.’

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry! My Lord–’

‘Listen to me. You are my weapon. When we discover what their plan is–for I know Bane always has a plan when he seeks me–you will kill the Banite Chosen. You will find a way to raise an army fit to mutilate this world in my name. You will not fail me again.’

‘I swear–’

White hot pain obliterated the rest of Villi’s assurances to his Father. The sound of his jawbone cracking beneath Bhaal’s grip was drowned out by a howl of agony that seemed to come from a long distance away, even if he knew, on some level, that he was the one screaming. Every bone, muscle, and sinew writhed and snapped, his skin split, his organs boiled.

Just when he thought he would be driven mad by the pain, or die from it, it stopped.

Perhaps he had died.

Tentatively, he lifted his head. No, he was not dead. He was still in the same dark, cavernous hall, curled in a ball on the frigid stone floor. His head felt huge and heavy. His mouth contained too many teeth. He unfurled quickly at the shock of realisation, raising himself up to his full height, towering over his Father.

He held out his hands and counted four of them, wickedly clawed. Diving around behind himself in a tight corkscrew he caught a glimpse of his new tail before it whipped out of sight.

Bhaal had granted him His Slayer form. Oh, how Villi had dreamed of this moment. 

The pain had been a just punishment, he knew that now. A warning. In the future it wouldn’t hurt in the same way to change shape, but if he fell short of his Father’s expectations again then it could be far, far worse.

Villi chittered happily at the God of Murder; grateful, honoured, determined to make Him proud.

‘You will follow me,’ Bhaal said, striding towards a huge archway that Villi hadn’t noticed before. 

He dropped to all fours–wait, all sixes, on account of the extra arms–and loped behind his Father, thrilled with the way keen muscles bunched and lengthened beneath his wickedly spiked hide.

They headed outside to a vast ledge situated high on the side of a mountain. The surrounding lands were blanketed by snow, marred only by knife slash pine trees. There was a surprising lack of wind out on the ledge. Villi would expect to be buffeted by strong gusts of icy air this high up, but there was nothing. Only an eerie calm.

A shrine of sorts had been hacked out of the mountainside. Black wax candles burned with flames of red and of purple in the rudimentary alcoves. A third of the candles remained unlit. Somehow Villi knew they would burn with a green flame when the time was right.

Gortash was standing near the shrine, dressed in the same kind of black robe Villi had found himself in before his transformation. With him was another man, one who radiated an aura of cruelty. He was tall, thick-set, with silver hair and a well-groomed beard. Dashingly handsome. He must be Bane, the God of Tyranny, Gortash’s master.

Gortash turned as they drew closer, looking up at Villi’s monstrous form in admiration. He said a few words under his breath and while Villi didn’t know the language, he recognised the sound of cursing when he heard it. A guttural snarl that trailed into a series of questioning clicks left his throat in return.

Ah. He had forgotten that he couldn’t speak. He wanted to demand answers. He had so many questions, chief among them being: Was it all just a ruse for a wager between their Gods? And: Aren't you already Bane's Chosen?

Those questions would have to wait until he had a functional larynx.

‘I see you have already bestowed your ‘gift’ upon your spawn, my old friend,’ Bane said to Bhaal, as the Gods eyed each other like a pair of veteran, bare-knuckle prize fighters. ‘Getting a head start, eh?’

‘Let us conclude our business,’ Bhaal growled.

‘As you wish. Enver Gortash, I name you my Chosen. Where the weak falter, the strong shall prevail. You are my Black Hand; I will wield you to shape the world as I see fit. Fear, hatred, and control are your weapons,’ Bane said.

Gortash inclined his head. ‘Thank you, my Lord.’

‘Child, I name you my Chosen,’ Bhaal said to Villi. ‘All is ash and meat. You are my Slayer; savage the world in my name. Pave my path with corpses, and build my castle with bones.’

Villi gave a hard growl of acknowledgement, flicking his tail from side-to-side as he committed this moment to his deepest memories. He would remember this night until the end of everything.

Bane turned back to Bhaal. ‘Now. Old friend. Do you enter again into my service, as per the terms of our agreement?’

‘Yes,’ Bhaal said, quickly, as if to prevent the word’s bitterness from lingering on his tongue.

Villi huffed, ashamed that his actions had forced his Father into this situation. He hadn’t meant to make a noise but seemed unable to hide his feelings in this form, every emotion telegraphing itself through unwitting vocalisations or the movement of his tail. Maybe in time he would learn to control it.

Bane was looking at Gortash again. ‘It is done. You will have to make good on your promise, Enver Gortash, or you will face my wrath.’

Glancing at Gortash, Villi added another question to the list. What had the Banite promised his God?

‘Of course, my Lord. You have my guarantee,’ Gortash said.

A change came over Bane then, swift and subtle. The avuncular expression in his eyes fell away, replaced by a stinging, sadistic lash. ‘My guarantee is your soul, which will be mine to twist and torture until eternity’s end. Do not forget that.’

‘Absolutely,’ Gortash replied smoothly, unruffled as always.

‘We’re done here,’ Bhaal said gruffly, waving a hand at Villi.

Wait…

Villi started forward, not yet ready to leave, and everything went black.

___

He floated in darkness. No time, no space. No sounds, no sights.

Nothing.

Until…a smell.

The savoury, mouthwatering smell of cooked meat; smoked ham, or something similar.

He surfaced from the dreamless darkness towards the smell, blinking open dry, sticky eyes, only to be assaulted by the sight of Sceleritas’s nasty visage not ten inches from his nose.

Villi inhaled sharply. ‘Balyag-zaar!’

‘Master! You’re awake,’ Sceleritas said, grinning from fiendish ear to fiendish ear. ‘Jubilant day!’

Villi shoved himself away from the Butler, getting tangled in a blanket as he did so. The hammerblow of a hangover started to ring his skull like a bell. He closed his eyes again and groaned.

‘I have a herbal tonic here, mi’lord. That and your legendary constitution will have you feeling as perky as an abyssal chicken in no time,’ Sceleritas said as he held out a chalice brimming with a deep purple liquid.

Villi took it and drank. It tasted mildly of anise. He tried to recall snatches of the dream he had last night. Images tickled his mind, scattering like a shoal of glittering fish as he grasped for them.

‘Ahem. I hear congratulations are in order,’ Sceleritas said.

Then Villi remembered. He was Bhaal’s Chosen. In an instant he was out of bed and on his feet, sweeping the Butler up under his arms to whirl him around with a grin. ‘He made me his Chosen!’

Sceleritas cackled. ‘I am so proud of you!’

Oh no. The spinning had been a bad idea. Villi dropped the imp and pressed a hand to his mouth as it flooded with saliva and a bubble of bile threatened to make an unwelcome appearance.

‘Deep breaths in through your nose, master,’ Sceleritas advised from the floor.

Villi sat heavily on the edge of the bed, concentrating hard on not vomiting up the herbal mixture that he could already feel working. More memories came back to him, and shame threw a bucket of cold water over his initial joy.

‘Oh, gods. Sceleritas, I did something awful. I mean awful, awful, not good, awful.’

‘Whatever do you mean?’ Sceleritas asked. Having picked himself up he now stood by Villi’s knee, with a cup of water in one hand and a plate loaded with breakfast in the other. Smoked meat and thick slices of bread that had been toasted over an open flame until the edges were almost black, with fresh butter and mustard on the side.

‘Father said–he said it wasn’t his choice. It was too soon. But he lost a wager…and it was my fault. I failed him.’

‘No, no,’ Sceleritas said. ‘If you had failed Lord Bhaal he would have either taken your body for his own use or drained you of your vile, precious blood and torn what was left of you to pieces. Furthermore, I would despise you. None of those things have come to pass, have they? You may have disappointed him, but he loves you still because I love you still. You are his Chosen.’

‘That’s…I suppose…’

‘What did you do? It’s not the first time your Father has had to pledge himself to Bane’s service. There’s always some game or a wager lost and–happy times–we’re back in a war against the Realm. History repeats itself. Do try a sip of water, mi’lord.’

Villi took the cup and downed half of the water before looking sheepishly at the Butler. ‘I kissed the Banite.’

‘O, history repeats itself…’ Sceleritas muttered.

‘Pardon?’

‘Hm? I mean…They’re foul tricksters, those of Bane. Liars, manipulators of the worst kind. No scruples.’

‘I don’t have any scruples,’ Villi pointed out.

‘That’s not the same. You do it with style, mi’lord,’ Sceleritas said. ‘For the right reasons. Not them. You might think it was your choice to…do what you did, but I assure you, it will have been orchestrated by the Banite from the very beginning. You should not blame yourself, not for one moment.’

Taking the plate of food, Villi mulled over the Butler’s words. He picked up a piece of meat and took a bite. ‘I think it was my choice, though,’ he said, with his mouth full.

‘Exactly, that’s how manipulative and slimy they are,’ Sceleritas said. ‘Speaking of which; should I have a bath drawn for you?’

‘Mmhm.’ Villi nodded, before quickly swallowing. ‘But one more thing. My Father referred to me as his only living child last night. Did Orin die?’

‘Lady Orin? No, she is in the reliquary making use of one of the recovered racks if I’m not mistaken.’

‘Then what did he mean?’

Sceleritas hesitated. ‘Well, you are your Father’s Chosen now. I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm…’

‘Butler.’ Villi felt his patience slipping.

‘Yes, yes. So you see, Lady Orin’s unholy blood comes to her by the way of her grandfather. Lord Bhaal is not her direct sire. Your Father learned his lesson after the debacle with The Five. No more offspring. One single pureblood spawn was the plan this time,’ Sceleritas said. ‘Lady Orin is unaware of this fact.’

‘Oh,’ Villi said. His sister was even more of a mongrel than he thought. ‘Then, who is her father?’

‘I don’t know. I have my suspicions but her blood is…murky. It makes it difficult to sniff out the truth, as it were. She is still your kin, however.’

It didn’t make much of a difference. Well, not to Villi, anyhow. He was Bhaal’s favoured child. It would matter more to Orin, however; she was very proud of her blood, of their bond, of their Father . It might be prudent to keep hold of this information–this gift–to use against her in the future, Villi thought.

‘I’m glad she’s not dead,’ he said. ‘I cannot wait to see the look on her face when I tell her that I’m the Chosen one. I know she always thought it would be her.’

‘And I always knew it would be you, master,’ Sceleritas said fondly. He sniffed. ‘Oh, look at that, I’m getting all misty-eyed. I will away, mi’lord, and draw a bath fit for a Slayer.’

Pop. He vanished.

Villi continued his breakfast, running through all of the questions he intended on asking Gortash later.

[killerandhealerqueen]

Five Lines Fic Meme

Tagged by: @thesilversun Thanks for the tag!

Rules: find five lines in your fic based on the prompts you are given, then change one of the prompts at the end!

A Line You Think is Hilarious

From my fic Catch Me If You Can (Formula 1 RPF, Loscar)

Later that evening, after working the homicide, Logan returned home, feeling exhausted, to find Oscar sitting on his couch, a small smile on his face.             “Did you like the present I left you?” he asked.  Logan looked at him before he sighed heavily.             “With this latest murder, you’ve now brought your body count up to thirty one” he replied before he glared at him.             “And no I did not like my “present”, what the fuck.  Why would you do that?” he demanded. 

A Line About Anger

From my fic It's Not the Devil at Your Door (It's Just Your Shadow on the Floor) (Formula 1 RPF, Lestappen)

            “Mattia!  MATTIA!” he roared.  Mattia, however, just kept walking, causing Charles to growl low in his throat before he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down but he was just so overcome with anger that he couldn’t help but take another deep breath before he let out a loud scream, his powers exploding out of him.  However, because of the properties of the cell, the glass just absorbed his powers instead of exploding because of them, causing him to growl before he punched the wall of his cell, rage coursing through his veins. 

A Line About Love

From my fic My One and Only (Killer and Healer, Yuezhi)

            “Jiang Yuelou” he breathed before he quickly knelt before him and cupped his face in his hands.             “Jiang Yuelou” he whispered.  Jiang Yuelou, however, didn’t answer, causing Chen Yuzhi to whimper before he reached out and carefully pulled him into his arms, hugging him gently but tightly.             “I’m sorry.  Jiang Yuelou, I’m so sorry.  I lied…everything that I said was a lie.  I’m sorry.  I love you.  I really, really love you.  So please…please don’t leave me” he begged as he clung to him and buried his face in his neck.             “Don’t leave me.  Please don’t leave me” he pleaded.  Jiang Yuelou, however, didn’t answer again, causing Chen Yuzhi to let out another whimper before he hugged him tighter.             “Please” he whispered, just as two strong, but gentle, arms came around him and hugged him back.

A Line About Dreams

From my fic Wild Roses and Pretenders (Killer and Healer, Yuezhi)

It was a dark and stormy night as a tall man with light skin, brown eyes, and short black hair tossed and turned in his bed, his face pinched in agony just as thunder cracked outside, causing him to shoot up from his slumber with a loud gasp, his chest rising and falling heavily.  He then sat there for a moment, his heart thumping loudly in his chest, before he let out a soft groan and placed his head in his hands.             “Again…the same damn dream again” he grumbled.  He then took a deep breath before he removed his head from his hands and slipped out of bed, making his way over to the door of his room before he opened it, a butler already standing outside of the door.

An Atmospheric Line

From my wip Die Trying (Killer and Healer, Yuezhi)

As he checked over his supplies to make sure he wasn’t running low or out of stock, a low rumble echoed through the air, causing him to freeze and look up with wide eyes before he turned and rushed out of the house to see a large warship slowly pierce the clouds until more and more of it came into view.  At the sight of the warship, Chen Yuzhi let out a sharp breath before he turned and ran towards the village square, quickly avoiding any passing villagers until he arrived in front of the large, long bell that was in the middle of the square and picked up the mallet, hefting it in his hands before he swung it at the bell, a low gong echoing through the village.  As he continued to bang the mallet against the bell, more and more villagers slowly came out of their houses and looked up at the sky at the ship before Bai Jinbo made his way over to him and stood beside him as he lowered the mallet and looked up at the sky.             “What do you think they want?” he asked.  Chen Yuzhi shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the warship with fear in his eyes.             “Everything” he whispered. 

Tagging: @sunriseverse @clawbehavior @theotherwhybietoldmeso @hyperbolicgrinch @teneleven12xiii and anyone else who wants to play

Prompts:

A Line You Think is Hilarious

A Line About Anger

A Line About Love

A Line About Dreams

A Line That Makes/Made You Cry While Writing It

[kittlesandbugs]

wip wednesday

Tagged by @the-rebel-archivist and finally have a lil something to show for myself lol. Baby durge Nox meets her butler for the first time.

Gonna taaaaaag @sidestepping, @astarien, @gingerbreton, @mihqorio, @griever-receiver, @rab-bitly, @punkranger if you want to share any art or fic bits 💜

You come awake slowly, a familiar pleasant heady fog dulling any shock that your lover's corpse is cooling beside you. Stale iron coats your tongue as you lick your dry lips, and your eyes crack open. 

"Ah, milady! You have finally awoken!" 

Your eyes snap open at the quavering voice, a startled gasp escaping your throat as you catch sight of a desiccated little gargoyle-esque figure perched on the foot of your bed. Your hand instinctively coils around the hilt of the dagger buried in the throat beside you. 

"Do not fear, milady, I am—hhrrrk—" 

The force of the dagger through its chest pins it to the wall behind it. And then it vanishes. 

"What in the devil—" 

"Oh! That was a most excellent strike, milady. Clean through the heart. Your Father would be most proud." 

The quavering voice is now at your elbow and you shy away like a horse, fumbling over the corpse beside you. 

"Who— what—" you stammer and then the words pierce your sleep-mazed brain like an arrow. You reverse course, leaning over the side of the bed to peer at the strange creature, fear forgotten in the face of curiosity. A goblin? It must be, one hunched and withered with age, with beady black eyes over a hooked beak of a nose. He's dressed strangely, filthy finery frayed and dusty like he'd crawled from a crypt, his outfit adorned with skeletal accoutrements. 

"My… father…? You know my father?" you ask, barely audible over the pounding drum in your chest. No one has ever been able to answer as to your parentage.  Just who is this?

[nightqueen1221]

✴Fan Fiction Requests✴

Request Status: ✴Closed✴

Number of Request(s): 17/20

✴Asks are accepted and sometimes I post my artwork.✴

✴Masterlist✴

Hunter X Hunter

My Hero Academia

Attack on Titan

A Slap On Titan (Mostly crack-fics)

Ouran High School Host Club

Danganronpa

Demon Slayer (Don't really like writing for any of the demons, other than Nezuko)

Undertale (No AUs)

Deltarune (Frisk, Chara, and Kris will be gender neutral unless stated other wise.)

Soul Eater

Angels of Death

Toilet Bound Hanako Kun

Seven Deadly Sins

Fairy Tail

Haikyuu!!!

Kaguya-Sama: Love is War

High-Rise Invasion

Assassination Classroom

Hazbin-Hotel

Helluva Boss

Tokyo Ghoul

Madoka Magica

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Sonic Franchise

The Vampire Chronicals

Spy X Family (Platonic only)

Five Nights at Freddy's

Black Butler (Coming Soon)

What I want to write:

Five Nights at Freddy's

The Vampire Chronicles

What I do not want to write:

MHA

Hunter X Hunter

Demon Slayer

Fairy Tail

Haikyuu!!!

High-Rise Invasion

What I will not write:

Insest

Pedophiles

Character x character (I will do poly, unless they are siblings, than they will be separate)

Kurapika x Phantom Troupe member

Coffee Shop AUs

Oneshots (They take up to much time and back up requests)

Trans reader (I'm not trans, and don't want it to be inaccurate)

Reader coming out (I just don't think there would be much to write.)

Characters I will not write:

Chaos King (Deltarune)

Spamton (Deltarune)

Annie Leonhart (Attack on Titan)

Reiner Braun (Attack on Titan)

The Phantom Troupe (HXH)

Lucifer and Lilith (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss)

Stella (Helluva Boss)

Crimson (Helluva Boss)

Hanji Towa (Danganronpa)

Lesley (DHMIS)

Roy/ Yellow Guy's Dad (DHMIS)✴why would you request him in the first place?✴

All Might (MHA)

Overhaul (MHA)

Cream (Sonic)

Kyoya Ootori (OHSHC)

Any variation of William Afton (FNAF)

Platonic only:

Lancer (Deltarune)

Alluka (HXH)

Frisk (Undertale)

Chara (Undertale)

Yellow Guy (DHMIS)

Lily & Todney (DHMIS)

Sketchbook (DHMIS)

Tails (Sonic)

Claudia (Vampire Chronicals)

A/N:

I WILL THINK YOU HAVE READ THIS IF YOU SEND A REQUEST IN!!

Please contact me if you have a request or any question. (Don't worry I won't get offended by anything). I will not add my personal life into my blogs unless it effects anything which is very unlikely. Also tell me what gender you would like the reader to be, or else it will be Gender Neutral. I will do NSFW, which can be found here:

NSFW Blog

If things are left out per say who you would like the "x reader" to be with, I will assume and do what I can to the best of my abilities. Please do not get mad at me for your mistake and politely correct me, I will start to change it as soon as I read the message.

Feel free to ask when a request will get finished!

[eemoo1o-animoo]

I want Ron and Snake to hang out.

[achairwithapandaonit]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @aobawilliams ! (thank you!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

44 (that's a lot!)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 212,262

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for quite a lot of fandoms but I think currently I'm only writing for One Piece and Black Butler. I used to write quite a bit for my hero academia, but the hyperfixation passed a long time ago. And I think no matter how much time passes I'll always be up for writing for detective conan/magic kaito.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Villain? Gamer? Why not both? (4803 kudos)

Shouta's Guide to House-training Two Idiots (2178 kudos)

Two Weeks (1191 kudos)

Accidental Kidnappings and Semi-purposeful Hostage Situations (1084 kudos)

The Wake-up Call (1082 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to, but I don't anymore. I can take things very personally and I'd posted a fic where someone didn't agree with my characterisation of one of the characters and told me this in the comments. I didn't take it well and argued with them, and now that kind of embarrasses me (though, tbh I'd be embarrassed myself if I commented on someone's fic without being asked for feedback in a way that was critical to their approach to a character. Sometimes fanfic just isn't for you and you should leave others alone and let them do their thing).

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's probably The Stranger (Mob Psycho 100 fic)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm i mean, the thing is, my fics rarely end. so i don't really know...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got a proper hate comment once. it was really funny. they didn't mention anything critical of my writing and just told me it was shit and that i'm too old to write like that (i doubt they knew hold old i am?? i don't put my age online anymore). i assume i made them mad on tumblr so they decided to try and make my day bad?? but i just found it funny.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Sometimes I think it would be fun to write smut just to try something new but then I realise I don't enjoy writing about sex and don't have any ideas unless they're funny crack treated seriously ones.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

@aobawilliams and I have a shared bnha/detective conan crossover we were planning to write maybe a couple years agonow. we never got round to it tho cause aha writing hard :')

i did have a dream where ciel phantomhive got yeeted into the one piece world tho and that was fun. only problem is i think it'd be VERY hard to write something like that. very funny tho. he would hate every second of his forced one piece holiday

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think I've had a couple people pop up in dms to ask to translate my fics before. I've never seen the supposed translated fics tho (not that I'd be able to read them).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

aoba and I have several co-owned wips that likely won't ever see the light of day cause writing is hard and we are very very tired.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't really have a favourite. I just have ones I think are funny or interesting to explore.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ughhh too many. idek.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told my character dialogue is quite good?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually having to write ):

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't really like it cause I have no idea what's being said and am too lazy to look up a translation, but to each their own.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I have this very old very embarrassing memory of writing tsubasa chronicle/tokyo babylon crossover fanfic for my english class homework as an 11 or 12 year old. i think they got ice cream.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I'm not sure. Maybe The Ceiling of the World (black butler) just cause I've wanted to write black butler fanfic for years and never finished any other wip. Otherwise it'd probably be one of the bnha wips I never finished (there was this time travel one that made me go insane. now that I'm thinking about it I REALLY need to finish it) and uploaded or Permanent Membership Guaranteed (bnha)

not tagging anyone but if u want you can take this as a go ahead to do it.

[calimera62]

Tag Game: Writing Pattern

Tagged by @allen-kunekune, thank you :)

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Les meilleurs ennemis (Astérix)

Astérix observa avec amusement Jules César, dont les lèvres se tordirent dans une grimace confuse.

The Damned and the Blessed (Makai Ouji / Black Butler)

William was preparing himself to bed when he heard the sound of tree branches cracking. It was soft but distinctive.

Sac de plumes (Angel!verse de modocanis)

À l’instar de ses semblables, Asmodée était habitué à employer ruse et coups retords pour parvenir à ses fins. Telle était sa nature.

Atone (Makai Ouji)

Michael’s curiosity increased as days went by.

Le serment d'Hypocrite (Kaamelott)

Certains jours, Elias de Kelliwic’h n’était pas mécontent de travailler à Kaamelott.

Mauvaise rencontre (Percy Jackson)

Il était à peine vingt-trois heures lorsque Gabriel Ugliano quitta le bar Au Joyeux Marin de Montauk, le goût de la bière dans la gorge; loin de ressentir l’euphorie que lui procurait l’alcool, il ressentait une profonde frustration.

Thérapie conjugale (Angel!verse de modocanis)

Si la vie d’Abalam avait été un film, il y aurait eu un arrêt sur image au moment exact où le poing de la justice divine, en la présence de Michael, allait entrer en collision avec sa gueule, avec un gros plan sur la grimace d’horreur de celui qui allait se prendre une dérouillée et qui n’en avait que trop l’habitude.

Der Vampire (Tanz der Vampire)

Alfred woke up the next morning feeling rejuvenated: gone were the headache, the shivers, the dizziness, and the exhaustion, he was more alert and in very good health.

Du Désordre aux Enfers (Angel!verse de modocanis)

Uriel reposa sa tasse de camomille extra forte destinée aux troubles du sommeil et de l’anxiété sur son bureau, sans égard pour les documents qui y étaient entassés dans le plus grand désordre.

Light of my life (Cesare)

He was supposed to be a meant to an end, a tool to use restlessly before throwing away; things, he discovered, were not that simple.

I don't know if there's a pattern in the way I write or start my fics. If there's one, I can't see it ^^; However, it was fun to do!

Tagging: @modocanis, @naehja, @flo-nelja, @istadris, @garnetrena, @saemi-the-dreamer and whoever wants to do it!

[oshikiri-toru]

Tag game for fic writers

Thanks @sergeantwoods for the tag <33

1.) How many works?

On my current AO3 it's 22 (+1 anonymous post) if we're counting old old fics probably ~30

2.) Total word count?

Currently 294,024 😩 and that's not counting the 10k in wips I have rn. Idek how that's possible it hasn't been a year yet

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now (and probably for a long long while) it's just COD. Specifically MW reboot, but I've thought about dabbling in black ops or wwii

4.) Top 5 fics by kudos?

- You've Got My Body, Flesh, and Bone

- Close Friends Only

- High Tide

- Red String of Fate is Tangling

- It's Better When It Feels Wrong

5.) Do you respond to comments?

Mostly no. I'm too paranoid and anxious most of the time 😰. I try to answer questions or respond to people who inspired/are inspired by my work but regular compliments are scary (love getting them tho)

6.) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a fan of mcd or no comfort for Ghoap, so nothing that sad. I guess "Solar Eclipse". Sort of bittersweet with how much therapy they're going to need after that (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

7.) Fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh God, there's a lot. If I had to choose?? Maybe "Forever Ain't Half the Time (I Want to Spend With You)" that's just some good old fluff all the way through!

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten unsolicited constructive criticism, passive aggressive comments, and that one guest with the racist username, but nothing explicit towards me.

9.) Do you write smut?

Plenty of pwp. They're usually my quick palate cleansers between plot-driven stories since they are a bit easier for me to write.

10.) Craziest crossover?

No real crossovers, but I have a Fire Emblem AU going if that counts ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No :( that would be so cool, though.

13.) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but that sounds so fun :(

14.) All time favorite ship?

I don't know what Activision put in Ghoap?? But they are like crack cocaine for me. Genuinely never been this obsessed with a ship. Only thing sorta close was Ranpoe from bsd

15.) What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mean, my baseball AU isn't much more than some disconnected ideas, but I don't think I'll ever get to write it. I'm so not good with super long fics, my fe AU is already stressing me out

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Um, I've been told my dialogue and characterization is really good. My favorite compliment is always how I make the characters seem real :D personally, I put a lot of focus into pacing so I hope that's good LMAO

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not that great with flowery language :( I always love seeing how some writers can create beautiful prose, amazing imagery, and outstanding figurative language, but my writing always feels somewhat straightforward in comparison :/

18.) Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't hate it, but I don't try to include it too much. Singular words here or there that can be inferred without translation (nicknames/terms of endearment/curses) are all I'll usually do. I feel like having long strips of another language that someone needs to translate to understand breaks up the flow and pacing too much for my tastes. Usually, I just mention it's in another language. (Also don't want to embarrass myself in front of native speakers lol, that's why I don't do accents either)

19.) First fandom you wrote in?

Oh God please don't ask that... I think it was Creepypasta or Black Butler back in elementary school ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

20.) Favorite fic you've written?

100% without a doubt 'I'm Your Home, You're My Home' I don't know what was in the water when I wrote it, but I don't know if I'll ever one-up it.

My favorite smut was definitely 'Late Night Ride Home' lmao. Perfectly catered to me 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ yessir

This was soo fun <33 thank you again Sarge!! :D I loved reading your responses!

I have no clue who to tag. Any of my fic writing mutuals that see this, feel free to hop on and tag me :) these are so fun to read