#bitter feelings abt content and community again

[iwantofall]

,

[cherriko-art]

I just want to thank the Tumblr community from the bottom of my heart for helping me find joy in drawing again. For helping me find art a little less scary with every comment I get. And to remind people, once again, how much of an impact positive engagement has for creators, no matter how small or big.

Long, midnight ramble on my struggles with art below.

Late night thoughts, but lately my motivation for drawing has been rekindled as a way to release the brain rot on the fandoms and games I've loved recently. I lost my love for art for a really, really long time and for someone who's been drawing since I could pick up a pencil, and has identified as an artist my entire life, literally witnessing myself lose my love for art and drawing has been a really painful process. Especially since it happened over a relatively short period of time. Over 20 years of loving and creating art, only to be extinguished in just a small period of 2 years. When I came to a sudden realization that I hated drawing, I mourned over it for a really long time. I missed the joy I got from drawing, the pride in my art, the passion to learn and hone my skills. I used to think I could never imagine a future where I wasn't constantly thinking about the next thing I wanted to draw, but now I am living that future. Art is never on my mind anymore. I try to draw and I become filled with anxiety and dread. There's not a single thought about picking up my pencil and creating. The only things I had drawn in the last 4 years were for zines and it felt like work, not joy. Drawing felt like a job, and it stopped being the center of my universe. I stopped being active on social media, bc I was only on here for art. But even looking at other people's art left a bitter taste, and I didn't want to look at any of it anymore. Several times over the last few years I've tried to rekindle my love for art, tried starting small again. But it always fizzled out quickly, and I'd abandon it again. Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram and it hurts to look at, because I distinctly remember how much joy I got from drawing every single piece, what my thought process was, and how excited I felt in creating. It's been so long since I've felt happiness in drawing.

Lately, I've drawn some things bc my emotions for the brain rots in my head were Too Big and I couldn't think of releasing these big emotions in anything other than what I know. In art. I just drew something, didn't think too hard abt it, and posted them. Like barfing your overwhelming feelings on paper then throwing it away. But the engagement I've gotten on these emotional-dump drawings have been so wonderful, no matter how small or big, and it's made me so happy. Very specifically from Tumblr. Tumblr has reminded me what it's like to actually interact with fandoms again. Instagram/Twitter/etc has become such a competitive platform for content creators, that any sense of (the minimal) community and fandom interactions have been completely wiped out. But Tumblr has stayed true to it's roots through all these years and never have I been more grateful.

For the first time in years, I'm excited to draw again. I actually want to draw. I finished multiple drawings in the last 2 weeks, more than I have in years. Instead of feeling numb and exhausted after drawing like I had been, I'm actually filled with adrenaline and excitement to draw more. I'm excited to participate in fandoms again, engage in communities. This is all because other people's positive engagements on my little drawings have motivated me to draw more.

Drawing has become a very daunting, anxiety-filled, unpleasant experience for me. I lost my love for art years ago. But the positive engagement in my recent art has pushed away some of that anxiety, and it's becoming increasingly easier for me to pick up that pencil again. Drawing is starting to feel fun again. I don't know how long this will last, if it will fizzle out like it has time and time again. I don't know if art will turn back into the Big, Bad Monster again. But for now, I'm just relishing in the feeling of art feeling like freedom again. And I have the Tumblr community to thank for that.

So for everyone on here, thank you.

[sunsmitten]

     This is something that’s been bothering me lately and i feel the need to give my two cents. im starting to see homophobic comments abt gay ships on my dash and while the people saying them may not think it’s homophobic, it is. no one has to really read this, it’s just something i want to put out there. it’s my personal experience with a group of people that were very Straight Ship centered, heteronormative, and would frequently make the very same comments others are starting to make here: “gay ships are being shoved down my throat so now i hate gay shipping and want nothing to do with it” or you know, stuff along those lines. if two people rping two girls kissing or two boys kissing bothers you in any way, literally, in any way at all, it is homophobia. and here’s a good chunk of how shit like that grows and can become something very harmful;

when i very first started rping on tumblr i had made an oc ( both the oc and blog are looooong gone by now ) that wasn’t very attracted to women romantically or sexually. he didn’t define his sexuality, but throughout that blog i made it clear he wasn’t really into women.

i eventually made friends with this group of people who also rped on tumblr. in the beginning everything was fine, great and fun! but after some time they would make me feel bad for only putting my oc in a relationship with a man. in order for me to be included and not repeatedly discarded by them, i would actively have to put my oc in a ‘straight ship.’ and unfortunately, that’s what i did. i immediately noticed a difference with how they treated me when i finally shipped my guy oc with one of their girls oc’s, and i would have to repeatedly sit through them saying transphobic and homophobic comments abt other people’s ships and muses ( it was the transphobia in this community that made me leave in the first place ). they would constantly express their bitterness towards m/m and f/f shipping on the internet bc it was “more popular” than their m/f ships, and when i would try to explain how that wasn’t a good viewpoint to have, I would be ostracized, guilt tripped, and forced to apologize and ‘admit’ that i was wrong.

as i got older and more comfortable with my sexuality, i really only ever viewed/read content centered around m/m and f/f because like. im gay. and i wanna see gay shit, ya know? but that didn’t really fly with them. they’d would continuously make me feel guilty for this, call me misogynistic for liking m/m and f/f over m/f because to them being gay and wanting to see gay content makes me hate women, and i was called the big word itself. Heterophobic. 

one of the girls in particular, we’ll call her S, was very keen on telling me how awful of a person i was bc of my preference, how ‘straight shipping is oppressed’ on the internet and im only ‘feeding into the oppression.’ for 4 years she would manipulate me and make me feel guilty not only for the type of media i consumed, but for my sexuality in general. it got so bad to the point that i would have frequent panic attacks and i still got the throw up stain on my carpet to prove it ( i got one so bad bc of her i puked all over my bedroom floor and then fainted ). when i would try to reach out to the others abt what was happening behind the scenes, i’d either be ignored or my feelings were invalidated. to me, she was toxic, to everyone else, she was a wonderful friend. but that doesn’t excuse or make her treatment of me ok and it took along time for me to realize that. 

again, please keep in mind this went on for 4 years. this started when i was finally comfortable with myself and then to be thrown in and stuck in this situation bc i was too much of a coward to leave really fucks with a person. her distaste, hatefulness, and bitter attitude for gay people/characters/shipping was all taken out on me every week for 4 years. i’m doing my very best not over-dramatize this but yeah, it was every week for 4 years she would send me paragraphs of how terrible i was for just being me. how shitty i was as a person, how im a terrible friend, how the content i liked wasn’t fair to her, a straight person, that i was predatory for being a masculine identifying person looking at other guys, and how lucky i was to have a friend like her that tells me when i’m ‘in the wrong.’ 

near the end of last year she sent me another one of these multi-paragraph messages. at this point, i had finally become very aware how fucked up of a person she is and how i was never in the wrong through any of this like she originally made me believe. instead of agreeing with her and apologizing, a ended up snapping back. i told her how i felt, how she wasn’t being fair to me, and that i felt she was being very homophobic. admittedly, her response wasn’t at all like i had expected. She apologized, told me i had opened her eyes to some things and she’ll work on getting better. this made me happy! i thought that maybe we could continue our friendship without anymore of the BS. 

after that i took a good break from being online. i needed some time for myself and i needed to think some things over about my life. during this time, i realized how lax i was with S, how i let her and that whole friend group get away with so many things and i began to wonder if i should even go back. even after that talk i had with her, she was still very defensive against homosexual relationships and would get angry if someone expressed more interest in gay media than straight media. 

i was away for a good couple months, i was healing and rising above that bad mentality she forced on me. i logged out of all social media and messenger apps so there was no way her or anyone from that group could contact me. i hadn’t heard from her in months, until i received a letter in the mail. She wrote me a letter. A two paged letter. A LETTER. A REAL, WHOLE ASS LETTER. just so she can continue to try and tear me down. she started by telling me how much she missed me, a little starter paragraph kissing my ass until it, very abruptly, turned into the usual “youre shit, terrible, bad, you have no respect for me or anything i create, you hate me bc im a straight woman-” you get it. but this time i didn’t care! nothing she said in that letter got to me like it used to. the only thing that bothered me was her persistence to make me feel bad. she genuinely wanted to continue to hurt me. but with that time away and probably because i was so used to it by then, it didn’t faze me. 

i eventually went back to social media and kept my distance from that friend group. i still considered them my friends, bc when things were good, i had a lot of fun! and wanted to keep that in my life. But, I blocked S. I blocked her on everything so there’d be no way for her to contact me and if she wrote me another letter, i would simply rip it up. i made it clear i wanted to go our separate ways with no hard feelings, i didn’t talk to anyone abt what she had done. no mention whatsoever. i carried on my merry way bc i was moving past it. She did not. 

When she figured out i had blocked her, she threw a tantrum. she twisted my words and painted me as the villain by showing out of context screenshots of what i had sent in response to her second to last message ( the one before the letter ). she told the people i was still friends with that i abused her for years bc she was straight and put me on full blast on the internet. she did this because i blocked her.

it all happened in the time span of a second; i lost all my friends, i was blocked by everyone and not only called a piece of shit by her, but by everyone i still cared deeply about. i was forced to delete all my social media accounts so i wouldn’t continue to be put on blast. for a week i was upset bc really, who wouldn’t be? but after that week i realized that if these people i called my friends just took S’s word for it and were all so eager to tear me apart bc she said so, they were never my friends. they never cared about me so why should i care if im not with them anymore? it was a real eye opening moment and my dudes, im doing fucking great. im so much happier without them all in my life and i can finally do the shit i want. be gay and indulge on harmless gay content. 

so! to make the moral of the story clear. The people that are so butt hurt over gay shipping being more popular than straight shipping are people not to be trusted. it may seem unfair to lump them all into a category, and im not saying they’re all as toxic as S, but their mentality is homophobic. disliking anything gay bc it’s not straight, is homophobic. straight people are constantly represented in every source of media and if someone is bothered by the fact that gay people are indulging in gay shipping in the rpc, they are homophobic. there’s no way around it.

im still getting over S and all that she did. i know without her i wouldn't be as tough as i am now and unapologetic with what i like, but there’s a good part of me that wishes i never met her or that friend group. bc of her i struggle with my self esteem and my own internalized homophobia that only formed after i met her. i’ve come along way in the months after i officially cut myself off from them, but i know this is something that’s going to take some time. 

[kardemomme-kisses-archive]

i've seen a lot of ur ideas on characters like sana isak and vilde but is there something extra u can say abt eva's underrated character? is there any special moments you really liked with her, is there any part of her characterization that you could talk on and on about? i rrly like eva and i hardly ever seen in depth convos abt her character or even just a few gifs that show the complexity of her character

I feel you anon, I feel you. There can never be enough discussion about her (and sadly, there usually isn’t which is more than a little perplexing to me seeing as she’s such a multi-dimensional character with a fully fledged arc who undergoes tremendous growth and imparts so many significant messages).

More under the cut because apparently I am not familiar with the meaning of brevity.

So, let’s talk about Eva Kviig Mohn. Eva, who started this series feeling so soul-crushingly lonely, with a boyfriend who as much as I love him when it came to his priorities back in their first year he wasn’t very attentive to her and her wishes. It always felt like there was this invisible line between her and Jonas’s friends whenever they were in the same room, a line she never fully crossed because she was never really integrated into their group. And really, this was all Eva wanted back then - a place to belong, to be a part of something, friends to have sleepovers with and share secrets and hushed confessions, maybe drink a little too much and dance together under bright lights and swirling colours. Even more so, she wanted the warmth of someone’s arm around her shoulders when she was feeling stressed about her grades plummeting, terrified that she could feel the boy she fell for slipping away from her  so cold inside that big old empty house …And the worst part about Eva’s situation is that she did have that once, and it went so much deeper beyond just hanging out together. Not when ingrid  befriended Eva accepted her into her circle and stood up for her during a very difficult period in her life.  Eva lost that the day she picked Jonas over Ingrid and I think that a part of hers will always be plagued by self doubt because was this really the right decision? Has she ruined this friendship for good? What if she’ll never have anything like that again? 

Let’s talk about Eva and one of the first friendships she built after picking herself up from the ground from one of her lowest points and daring to reach out and start again. A friendship that started as a whirlwind because when Noora barged into Eva’s life so fierce and strong and self-assured, so unapologetic and unafraid to be herself , it must have felt like the answer to everything Eva was looking for. Noora’s independence and courage to stand up for what she believed must have been so desirable to eva who was a little lost within herself back then, wonderful admirable Noora who was everything Eva did not feel she could ever become and everything she wished she would be… Eva might have put her on a pedestal in the beginning of their friendship but the way it evolved so organically, with her discovering that Noora was everything but infallible, with her own very real vulnerabilities was what really brought them even closer together and provided some of the warmth that had been missing from both of their lives before. They learnt so many things from each other and this helped them gradually grow out of their own insecurities and become the version of themselves they are today.

Let’s talk about Eva and the trait of hers I find the most admirable: her bravery and maturity, as demonstrated by the way she approached her relationships with Jonas and Ingrid. Let’s talk about a relationship so full of innocence and the quiet optimism of a first love which was ultimately brought down because they were both so focused on trying to maintain this ideal, the dream, the perfect romance,a world where everything was viewed through rose tinted glasses,that when the cracks started to appear they would rather pretend they were not there. And those issues that had been undermining the foundations of their relationship from the very start could indeed not be washed away, not even by the genuine love between them. Most importantly they never learned how to communicate and establish trust since they never had enough faith in each other to stay and work through a conflict and neither of them really knew how to compromise. Thus in the end they became their own worst enemy, which is something that Eva saw and in one of the most mature decisions anyone in this show has ever made took the first step towards a healthier future because she realised that they coudn’t grow while they were still together and holding each other back. This scene sent such an important message because eva's journey towards self-agency and self-discovery is such an indispensable part of life in general and of the teenage experience more specifically, sincee at this age where the matter of forming an identity comes into the forefront for the first time with such an intensity it is very easy to fall into the trap of defining yourself strictly within the confines of pre-existing or newly formed relationships. Even more importantly, a relationship can be unhealthy for you even if there is still so much love on both sides and this does not get addressed enough sadly. But here it was. It was and Eva handled it in the most beautiful way.

Let’s talk about Eva and the tremendous courage she showed when she confronted Ingrid and in that moment faced all the fears shame and guilt that had been haunting her for months. How in one of the most emotional moments in that season when she expressed how she wishes she had done things with jonas differently but she can’t keep feeling guilty her whole life she refused to let the shame and the guilt over past actions consume her, acknowledged her past mistakes with full clarity, chose to reconcile with everything that happened and actively decided to channel the remorse into moving on and focusing on self improvement and doing better in the future.

Let’s talk about Eva and one of the most underrated scenes in her season which I seldom see discussed, if at all. “Everyone’s like what kind of person are you? You have to know who you are. What a fucking cliche!” is one of the most important things she’s ever said for me. I feel like the way everyone always stresses about how adolescence is supposed to be the age that everyone should discover and define their identity puts a lot of pressure on teens and this moment stresses out that it is alright to feel a little lost within yourself and it is alright for someone to take this journey at their very own pace or not at all until they feel emotionally ready for it. Self exploration is an ongoing procedure which never really ends nor is it constrained by age limits and feelings of uncertainty are an absolutely natural part of it which is something this scene showcased  beautifully.

Lastly, let’s talk about one of Eva’s strongest features : her heart, her capacity for infinite compassion and forgiveness. And I can think of no other way to do so other than talk a bit about her friendship with Isak. Truly, there have always been heaps of understanding and forgiveness between them, even when isak's actions drive a wedge in the foundations of their bond. Eva has always been nothing but compassionate and patient towards him and it’s a true testament to her character that even when she didn't know the cause of his betrayal she mostly felt hurt and confused rather than scornful and resentful. Moreover, once she discovered the true source of his lashing out her stance shifted as well because there have never been any lingering traces of bitterness or anger ever since then.Of course that is in part due to her own emotional maturity and clarity when it came to her own responsibility in the fallout of her relationship, but also she is one of the few people who truly saw isak in that moment, the only one who saw his struggle and recognised his strife. It is a feeling very familiar to her after all, because she used to be in a very similar spot - losing sight of herself, being plagued by insecurity and guilt, having alienated and hurt her own friends in the process. She knew this is a journey he has to take on his own, so she would be there in the end waiting for him. And when he went through his own path of self discovery and reconciliation with himself, when he was finally ready to take that first step reach out acknowledge what he had done and try to make amends, she was already there with a soft smile and an accepting heart. Eva is absolutely the kind of person to take joy in her friends' happiness and this Isak - Isak who was finally confident and in peace with every part of himself - was glowing with contentment. In that moment all the space she had ever granted him was worth it and the look she gave him was full of pride and kindness.

So there she is. Eva Kviig Mohn. A brave girl, a caring girl, a girl who has been through so much but never lost her courage or her smile. A girl who wasn’t afraid to make difficult decisions, a girl who was lost but managed to rediscover herself. There she is, the girl we all recognise a part of ourselves in, having found a new second family, surrounded by laughter music and colours, people who genuinely care about her and came to celebrate with her when she threw her birthday party, people she brought together from the most unlikely places and who will never let her feel alone again. Her story is one of self growth and acceptance, of finding your place in a world that is often too demanding, unforgiving and cold and I really wish it got more attention than it does because it captures the essence of some of the most important and difficult years in our lives and it really deserves to be heard.

[urwarriorangel]

TVD SHIPS (i think the right word is OTPs but oh well)

I know I’m extra and unnecessary af for this but pls bare with me. I was up until four am last night and thought this would be a good idea so here we are!

Also please keep in mind that these are just my opinions. Some of these are potential situations, not the way things ended up in the show. I don’t mean to sound rude in some of the comments even though it may seem that way. I know that I might be the queen of unpopular otp/ship opinions but pls hear me out. If you like the ships that I don’t, it’s alright. If you hate the ones that I like, that’s also fine. It happens. Love y’all!! XOXO

ps- this is gonna be very very VERY fucking long, so there’s gonna be a little ‘keep reading’ tab after the first category. i’m so sorry

TVD SHIPS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN

Klaus x Bonnie

I know that Klaus doesn’t play nice and I know that Bonnie hates him but come on, you can’t tell me they wouldn’t have been a scorching hot pair. you’ve got the wolf, the vampire, the witch (aka the holy trinity of the supernatural world) split between a petite woman of color and a lanky northern european man. please keep in mind that Bonnie could destroy Klaus in a millisecond.

Kol x Bonnie

Y’ALL I WOULD KILL FOR THIS SHIP. Kol is a psychopath and I feel like in a way, that’s Bonnie’s specialty. she’d hate him first, sure. but then they’d have to work together to save her stupid friends and the only reason he’d agree to accompany her was because “you’re going to get yourself killed, love. we should just let them figure things out” “I’m not asking you to come, Kol”. she’d have him wrapped around her finger in no time. imagine the mind blowing make out scenes. also the sex scenes.THE SEX SCENES!

Kol x Elena

okay so I’m not the biggest fan of Elena because she’s so damn whiny but she’s also vulnerable and has this crazy knack of making people like her. Kol’s intentions were never to hurt Elena to be honest. he was angry with his brother and terrified of Silas, rightfully so. I think they would have worked.

Lorenzo x Caroline

tbh Enzo is the only guy I would like to see Caroline with. Caroline keeps floating between the self-righteous guy with the good hair and the raging psychopath with the perfect accent. settle for the perfect accent, nice hair, a tortured soul, and mostly good intentions.

Malachai x Bonnie

a concept: Kai buying Bonnie a Costco bear to apologize for Mrs. Cuddles. Kai getting turned on every time Bonnie practices magic that is above even him. Kai smiling every time Bonnie texts him and being confused as to why. Kai being the first one to say I love you.

Damon x Bonnie

I want them to hook up SO BAD. you know those college roommates AUs or the best friends spending a drunken night together AUs or the childhood friends who develop feelings AUs or partners in crime having sex for the sake of the mission AUs? I would like that to happen with these two losers.

Elijah x Bonnie

okay so I ship Bonnie with just abt everyone. so sue me. she would dig through Elijah’s mind and force him to face his past. once his episodes started, she’d feel guilty and she’d make excuses to hang around him. eventually, the monsters in his past were nothing compared to how scared he’d get every time he thought about losing Bonnie.

Bonnie x Elena

Bonnie would be the more rational, no bullshit girlfriend. Elena would be the damsel in distress with a party mindset. They’d keep each other grounded and watch the sunrise together even though Bonnie just wanted to make out.

Bonnie x Caroline

the motherfking power couple y’all. childhood friends who fall in love with each other after they both date boring guys. the almighty witch and the vampire with good communication skills. wow think of how good they’d look at Elena’s wedding: Bonnie in her maid-of-honor dress, Caroline in a similarly colored bridesmaid dresses; Caroline catches the bouquet and proceeds to kiss Bonnie in front of all the groomsmen who’re hitting on her.

Caroline x Rebekah

Barbie queens with more to offer than their looks. they’re smart, ambitious, competitive, dire romantics, control freaks, short tempered, gentle-spirited, and so damn sexy. i would pay good money for a hot tub scene between these two.

Malachai x Elena

humanity-less Elena and regular, sociopathic Kai. they’d be a dynamic duo tbh. Elena and Damon would have just broken up and Kai actually liked this side of Elena, the wild party girl with complete disregard for human life.

Jeremy x Liv

these two wouldn’t date, not at all. they’d just have lots of angry sex and tbh I’m content with their relationship being just that.

Elijah x Damon

at first, it was annoying: Elijah had to keep an eye on another reckless vampire. he’d lose sight of Damon for a couple hours and he’d turn the entire city upside down bc he was scared that Damon was wreaking havoc. only Elijah would come home at the end of the day and find Damon dancing around the house-- topless with a bottle of bourbon in hand--and no matter how bad he knew he should yell at Damon and put him in place, he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

TVD SHIPS THAT NEEDED  MORE SCREEN TIME

Matt x Rebekah

my favorite Matt pairing and my favorite Rebekah pairing. Rebekah is a hopeless romantic and nothing will ever change that. Matt is a puppy dog who’s the same way and I love how happy they were together, I love how good they looked together, all that jazz. their fling is very underrated.

Bonnie x Nora

YES YES YESSSSSSSSS. I would also kill for this ship, relation- or friend-. this was such a pure friendship. it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine by any means, but it was the most real friendship on the show. it could have been even greater.

Elijah x Katerina

I wanted to see them together so much more!!! I love Katherine and I feel like Elijah was a soulmate of hers. Elijah clearly loved her, but things just never worked out in their favor. They could have had a great love story, or at least a top-notch friendship.

Stefan x Katherine

Stefan is another one of Katherine’s soul mates. Definitely. They’re both manipulative, one more than the other. They both cared about one another at one point. They’re both empty and alone at times despite the people around them. Another great love story.

Klaus x Stefan

I’m a little iffy about this because I think that Klaus is fine without Stefan, but I also really like the friendship they built back in the 20s. I love the acceptance and the love and the connection Klaus and Stefan had at first. It was great.

Elijah x Stefan

Everyone compares Stefan and Klaus to one another and claim that they are so similar, but I vehemently disagree. I think that Elijah and Stefan are very similar. Both very self-righteous. Both have a distinct set of beliefs. Both are very loyal and are known as “the good brother”. I don’t know. I would’ve liked to see a relationship develop between these two.

Caroline x Katherine

ugh yet another potential great couple!! they are both very fashion-oriented, both very controlling and organized, both hella smart. if Katherine hadn’t screwed around with Caroline when she’d just been turned, I think they could’ve been great friends. they’re very similar, very self-aware. they care about themselves.

Klaus x Damon

I really want to watch Damon and Klaus’s relationship progress. I want them to become friends who pretend they hate each other but are always so protective of one another and are always ready to defend the other person. They’re the self-hatred ridden brothers and I think it would be nice if they loved each other.

Damon x Enzo

LONG LIVE DENZO. Denzo is my number one ship for both Damon and Enzo. like :( I’m so hurt that Damon left Enzo but imagine: Damon spending every day for the rest of eternity apologizing for leaving, knowing that it would never be enough but not stopping. Damon would always put Enzo first, always. He would put Enzo’s life and happiness over his own every time. Enzo would try to fight it to no avail. Enzo taking one look at Damon’s battered body after a fight and immediately cleaning him up and bandaging him. Enzo spending the night in Damon’s bed with Damon in his arms as he kissed his forehead.

Alaric x Jo

I don’t like Jo, but I would like to think that she and Kai could have patched things up and she would be less bitter and annoying and she and Alaric could have a happy life. With cute little babies.

Damon x Elizabeth Forbes

I think that Sheriff Forbes is the one person that Damon would never be able to leave. He left his romantic interest time and time again. He left his brother. He left his best friend. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love them, that just means that Forbes was the only person who would push him hard enough to stay that he wouldn’t have any other choice. Damon’s the only vampire (asides from Caroline) that Sheriff Forbes actually loves.

Elijah x Elena

Elijah was protective of Elena from the start. he recognized the vulnerable parts of Katherine in her and saw the fierce loyalty and honesty that Katherine at times lacked. she was like a breath of fresh air to him and he wanted to help, constantly to popular belief.

Damon x Rose

I hated Rose at first because I was all about Delena but the more I thought about it and the more I rewatched it, Rose was YET ANOTHER CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER. She was on the run her entire life because she was loyal to Trevor. She died because she was protecting Damon. Her entire life revolved around her great attributes wasted on men. I think Damon would have helped her move on and escape when needed. She would’ve helped him see the truth, kind of a balance to him.

Kol x Jeremy

BASEBALL BUDDIES. one of the few times that Jeremy wasn’t really annoying was when he was friends with Kol, the times we never heard from him except to check up and see he was happy. I think that Kol saw a potential friend in him, despite his “dark” intentions. they could have been great fucking friends.

Tyler x Jeremy

another time that Jeremy wasn’t too annoying was when he was friends with this idiot: Tyler. granted, Tyler was sired to Klaus, but still. they got through it and were pretty decent friends. I was happy with their small friendship and it would have been nice to see peaceful guy friends.

Matt x Tyler

MY FAVORITE FRIENDSHIP back in the day oh my god :( it makes me sad thinking of how much we used to see of Tyler and Matt, of how great friends they were and how they got through everything together. it was so nice to see them happy or sad but together ugh. I WANT MORE.

Stefan x Lexi

I loved Lexi. she was so badass and so cool and so independent all while keeping an eye out for her best friend. this here is another case of my obsession with best friends blooming into other things and childhood best friends becoming lovers. Stefan wasn’t too annoying when Lexi was around, he was kind of fun. GASP

Damon x Lexi

okay hear me out. this a case of “you’re my best friend’s brother and we shouldn’t be doing this but he doesn’t have to know” ugh :( I like the idea of badass Lexi taming the wild fuckboy that is Damon.

TVD SHIPS THAT SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN BUT WERE (EVEN A LITTLE)

Klaus x Caroline

everyone loves them together but me. sure, i appreciate how great they look and how Klaus cares about Caroline, but I don’t think Caroline would or should ever actually date him. Klaus has hurt too many of her loved ones for her to look at him as more than an occasional fuck, at least for now. he’ll always be the one that got away. I’m okay with that, idk.

Alaric x Caroline

this entire thing was so fucked up. like Alaric’s wife is dead so Caroline has to get pregnant and have the babies and then give everything up, happily or otherwise. as wierd as it sounds, it would have been more interesting if Elena was pregnant with the twins. maybe. probably not. okay that’s too wierd.

Stefan x Caroline

sometimes I really don’t like this duo and other times I couldn’t care less. the reason that I couldn’t care less is because of the obvious love and affection between the characters. that being said, those feelings aren’t portrayed romantically. at least not for me. it’s just a little too wierd for me.

Jeremy x Bonnie

Jeremy is such an annoying character ughhhh oh my god. Bonnie deserved a lot better than this dorky kid who would always act out. it was wierd to begin with because when they first started dating, Jeremy was really immature and Bonnie was the exact opposite. Jeremy wasn’t an endearing immature, he was the stupid immature.

Stefan x Valerie

this was literally just a filler. Valerie deserved better than what Stefan had to offer. I mean it could have been great had Stefan not been using Valerie, had he actually cared for her.

Stefan x Elena

YET ANOTHER SHIP THAT EVERYONE LOVES AND I HATE. Stefan and Elena, in my opinion, were too alike to ever date. they were both very self-righteous and nosey and everything had to be done their way. they tried to control the people around them and I think the times that I liked Stefan the least (border-line hated him) were the times that he was dating Elena.

Julian x Lily

it was just a very abusive relationship. I hated Julian and every second that he was on screen. I hated how Lily felt and acted when he was around. it was all around horrible.

Lorenzo x Lily

just super wierd. Enzo deserves better. I have said this before and I will say it again. Enzo deserves better. He stuck around the Heretics for Lily and she only lead him on so that he wouldn’t side with Damon and crew. very unhealthy.

TVD SHIPS THAT SAILED

Damon x Elena

I really fucking like Delena. I do. I’ll admit it’s not the greatest relationship on the show, but I think that is is the most passionate one. there’s so many unanswered questions and so many flaws and things to figure out, but in a way that’s the beauty of it. they are crazy about one another. Damon would have turned back into a human for her wtf.

Lorenzo x Bonnie

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IDCIDCIDC!!!!! there’s finally someone who would put Bonnie above everyone and everything else, themselves included. there’s finally someone who would pick Enzo, who wouldn’t leave him behind and GOD i love these characters and this relationship so much. I think it’s healthy and cute and loving and just. I mean they learn from one another, they grow together. it’s just amazing. I’m not sorry for loving them.

Nora x Mary Louise

I love Nora. Mary Louise not so much tbh. that being said, I think they work. the ships in this category aren’t just the ones that I love. they’re ships that worked and consist of two people who would do anything for one another. Nora and Mary Louise were brave and romantic and absolutely crazy but that’s what made it work. if these two weren’t exactly this way, they wouldn’t have worked. their deaths hurt.

Damon x Alaric

this partly belongs on the ships that should have been, but I think that for a time this really worked. this brotp really thrived at one point in the show and I loved it. there were times that I wanted Alaric to smack Damon upside the head, but still. I think that they worked and that they will only get better once they acknowledge how they’ve both fucked up.

Tyler x Liv

Tyler finally met his match!!!! I know that Liv was hard to deal with, trust me. I also know that Tyler is hard to deal with. I don’t think he’d actually ever loved anyone and trusted anyone nearly as much as he did Liv. I think that Tyler was one of only two humans that Liv actually cared about. Wierd and not my favorite, but they worked.

TVD SHIPS THAT EH

Stefan x Caroline

we meet again. I put them in the eh segment because I don’t entirely hate them. I am a sucker for best friends that bloom into something else, and that’s what they wanted to make this. but I don’t think it worked. I will admit that I love their friendship, though. I love that Stefan helped Caroline with her vampiric abilities, I love that Caroline always had Stefan’s back even when no one else did.

Stefan x Rebekah

yet another girl that Stefan used who deserved better. Rebekah is one of my favorite characters and the fact that Stefan didn’t give her the time of day because of his breakup with Elena and then proceeded to have sex with her for that same reason like????? y r u a prick steffy boy?

Damon x Katherine

I mean it was a hoax but still. Damon didn’t know that. he thought that she loved him, and that she’d be waiting for him in the hole in the ground (sorry my mind is blanking rn) and then they’d confess their love for eachother and BAM. only no BAM, no love, no Katherine. he was only ever a pawn to her.

Matt x Caroline

Matt also deserved better. at this point (when they first started dating), Caroline only cared about herself and Matt didn’t care about himself at all. there was no middle ground for these two, to be hones. I thought they looked nice together, but that’s about it. I think they could maybe have been better down the road but then Matt was all “fuck you, vampires” and Caroline became all “I am the vampires lol bitch”

Tyler x Caroline

to be honest, I was tempted to move this to the ships that sailed but I didn’t only because I never thought that they were endgame. I enjoyed watching the chemistry and the puppy eyes and how Caroline was growing up. I liked that Tyler was more than the temperamental werewolf and Caroline was more than a Barbie bitch. but it didn’t do enough for me. it was a great in between relationship, but it wasn’t a final destination.

Damon x Caroline

I don’t quite get why them hooking up was crucial to the storyline. I mean it was just a display of Damon and Caroline’s characters, but that’s it. that and Damon wanted to annoy his brother.

Jeremy x Anna

pointless. she was cute, he was cute, they were both kids with pent-up anger towards authority, but that was it. Anna was much more intelligent and mature and worldly than he was. I mean sure, she was technically a lot older but still. I don’t know, it was wierd.

Jeremy x Vicki

to be honest, I think all of Jeremy’s were pointless. the only difference with this ones it that he loved Vicki. she was his first love. after her, he became obsessed with his dead girlfriends and forgot about the ones that were real. he was an immature brat for most of the show and then became a notorious fuckboy, so.