#bitch. he has done more in a fictional world than you have in the real one

[aleksanderscult]

Antis: "The Darkling is evil!", "The Darkling is a pedophile", "The Darkling sucks", "He's such a loser"

Bitch, the very last lines of the final chapter of the only Grishaverse trilogy were about the Darkling. Shut the fuck up.☕

[zombie-bait]

Full Moon

Ok so I don’t normally post about Helluva Boss but the newest episode touched on an interesting concept I haven’t necessarily seen represented in media. Back when I was on Twitter (derogatory) a few years ago there was this now deleted viral thread where someone discussed how their struggles with mental health affected their relationship with their partner and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. 

This is such a good, short example of how anxiety and depression can play tricks on you. It becomes so easy to envision yourself as a nuisance, a constant burden to those closest to you because they cannot possibly genuinely enjoy your company, right? But in doing so you create this arbitrarily cruel version of the people you love, people who would otherwise never behave like this outside of your own mind.

It's mean. Because your mind wants to be mean to you under these circumstances. It wants to put everyone else's emotions and desires above yours, both in worthiness and validity. And that starts bleeding into your understanding of other people, especially those you care about.

Now. Helluva Boss.

"Can I get a fucking MINUTE to think after everything you put me through you pompous rich ASSHOLE? Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can’t just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we’re smaller and not as important. Well I’m not letting you, BITCH! Let’s go!" - Blitz

I find it really interesting how Helluva Boss decided to approach this conflict between Stolas and Blitz. Obviously, the difference in power matters. It's the underlying tension of their entire relationship and their lives. Stolas is burdened by the mountain of expectations thrust upon him from a very young age while Blitz is constantly reminded that he can NEVER be part of that world, that he is "smaller and not as important" not just in Hell's hierarchy but in his own life and family. Stolas very literally has power over Blitz (through the grimoire, the arrangement, his position in society) and Blitz uses their relationship as an excuse to reverse those roles. But that power dynamic, in one form or another, never truly goes away. And for Blitz, it's a lot easier to paint Stolas as this manipulative symbol of power and himself as nothing more than Stolas' plaything. It's easier to be angry than to be vulnerable and accept that someone might care about him.

"Dismiss" is the keyword in that quote. All that Blitz has been able to process is that Stolas has decided to end the relationship that they have. He feels ls like a choice has been taken away from him so he lashes out because he's not ready to emotionally tackle what the rest of Stolas' offer might entail. If Stolas hates him, just wants to play with him, then he is justified in his anger, his self-destruction, his isolation. If the world is mean, you're "allowed" to be mean back.

But

In that moment he forgets that Stolas is someone he actually cares about. Someone he's known for way too long and clearly wants to keep in his life, no matter how reluctant he can be to admit it. Someone who is not innately cruel or manipulative but sad and desperate for connections in a lot of the same ways that Blitz is. And Blitz immediately sees that he's miscalculated something.

Somewhere along the way the fictional version of Stolas that he's allowed himself to be mad at and the real one that he's not ready to admit he cares about have merged into something real that he has actual power over. Stolas can get hurt and Blitz can be the one who does it. He has once again allowed his greatest fears (which Stolas so frequently symbolizes) to co-opt his loved ones, to give him an "out" even though he didn't actually want one in the first place.

I'm definitely not the first person to say this but I think this is an example of the miscommunication trope done right. Their individual struggles are what cause them to be unable to connect during this conversation or to even have a proper conversation in the first place. There is no convenient misunderstanding or third party fabricating this rift. Both of them have preconceived ideas of what the other one is thinking but those ideas are flawed and rooted in self-hatred. They also both shutdown in their unique ways when the conversation starts heading in the direction they'd feared it would.

Blitz and Stolas work because they're both fucked up in similar ways, because they want similar things. That's the same reason why they're uniquely designed to hurt one another. A fear of rejection and a yearning for happiness. To borrow a quote that has been used by literally everyone from Spiderman to Evangelical preachers, "hurt people hurt people."

anyway, I really liked this episode.

(twitter thread screenshots sourced from this reddit post)

[doubleddenden]

So the stories leaked from gen 4 development are certainly interesting, eh? I'm sure everyone has their own feelings about it- some of you are apparently ECSTATIC about fucking your Machokes. Good for you, my guy. Some are horrified, thinking something's been defiled (it is fiction and most importantly non canon, you're fine, get a grip).

Me? I think the lady (yes, it was a lady) that wrote all of these is REALLY PASSIONATE about her craft, and was also referencing real world mythos and how they portray similar instances- I think we all know that Zeus has probably done worse on all giving and receiving ends of these stories, as well as Poseidon, Loki, and probably some other myths from Europe, China, and definitely JAPAN- key word there. In fact, the Typhlosion story is probably a reference to a similar story about a badger yokai that can alter its face to appear human, and the Octillery story is definitely a reference to- well, tentacle porn is a thing for a reason that goes pretty far back as a way to get around censorship in hand painted porn. The contents of the story aren't really much different or more terrifying than mythos we'd see in the real world (or if you're in the bible belt like me, probably EXPOSED to with morning bible studies before class growing up), and it's mainly just shocking to see it in the context of Pokemon.

And I think that's kind of the point. Sinnoh is already a pretty dark region in terms of lore and myth, and has surprisingly religious undertones considering the family friendly nature of Pokemon and its general target audience. Obviously none of the horse, badger, sloth monkey, octopus, god, or... Lapras fucking made it to the final cut, although in Japan they still reference People and Pokemon being so equal at some point that they could marry- that's even kind of referenced in Legends Arceus with I think a diary written by a man kidnapped by a Froslass? its been a minute, but you probably know what I'm referencing.

I think an interesting question would be "How did we get to these terrifying stories?" Especially Typhlosion and Slakoth.

Its important to remember this: None of this was meant to see the light of day outside that office circa 2003 to 2004ish. Yeah, surprisingly you weren't supposed to see the story of a man fucking an Octillery BEFORE throwing it back out to sea in a rated E for everyone game, and you didn't! You saw it via twitter, reddit, 4chan, tumblr, discord, or your local weed guy who all spread it from someone who got it from confidential office logs we wouldn't see unless someone took that info from Game Freak's darkest depths of other secrets they'd prefer to keep hidden. Every game and media company has this, good and bad, to various degrees of sfw and not. Did you know Disney has an entire vault of actual PORN that animators would make of their own anthropomorphized characters? Locked nice and safely, too... with uh, some exceptions breaking containment, I think?

So with that being said, we understand this is meant to be privileged info only a handful of people were supposed to see. That means they can use words and stuff you normally wouldn't see- Adventure time for instance had Finn and Jake saying "fuck" in story boarding, kinda funny- because its meant to be workshopped and tinkered with, refined until you get something desirable.

In fact, creators will often propose darker ideas than what they actually want so that they can more easily talk censors into an outcome they ACTUALLY desire. Alex Hirsch did this a few times in Gravity Falls' production, and you know Disney was a bitch to deal with (although he probably didn't propose stuff like this, but you get the idea). So this being said- Obviously nobody wants a story about a Typhlosion engaging in a non-con relationship with a minor it kidnaps. Nobody wants to read a story about humans MUTILATING Slakoths for fun and then getting revenge impregnated by a Slaking, only to give birth to a Slakoth and have it killed and thus kill yourself out of grief for your lost child (people reading this without context- ho boy you guys have missed out on some crazy shit that's popped up). So what is okay from here?

Maybe a little Pokemon death after going a while without it and accruing a reputation of being safe for kids? Mention of Pokemon bones being picked clean of meat and put back into a river so it can come back reborn? Some darker undertones of Pokemon being tormented by Team Galactic? How about a story of a boy slaying Pokemon with a sword, but less detail of mutilation of Ursaring and Slakoth? All of this made it into Diamond and Pearl, didn't it? Add in a little Human and Pokemon "Marriage" that is easily scrubbed out and replaced with "eating at the same table" for the more sensitive Western audience, and you have some pretty believable, dark, somewhat uncomfortable but child friendly lore for Pokemon.

Not to mention, a lot of this was probably pitched just to get a feel of the vibe they were going for in the game. If you read back through the stories, bits and pieces end up being used in other, non Poke-fucking stories, or recontextualized. See the above.

While its certainly a relief that they're non canon, it is a rather interesting look at the development of gen 4 lore and actually makes it feel more... realistic, in a way- again, comparing it to real world mythos and religious tales. That, and honestly? The religious backstory is actually, unironically amazing- HEAVILY based on real world religion, but plenty of real world religions steal from other religions and mythos anyway (coughchristianitycough).

Its actually a bit sad, because in any other JRPG, Arceus becoming a wounded woman that an ordinary man cares for, Arceus falling in love with this man because he treated her so tenderly, bearing human twins, the twins becoming Dialga and Palkia to fight some Titan that would become Mt Coronet, and Arceus loving this man so much that she took his soul to create Azelf, Uxie, and Mesprit to spread love and joy throughout the world? That would literally be INSANELY GOOD world building. Plus! Arceus was a human woman when she did this! It was also consensual! Can you imagine what the world would have been like if we had gotten not only FEMALE Arceus- god of all Pokemon universes- but also a HUMAN INCARNATION of her? And this was BEFORE Giratina came into the picture, apparently. If anything, we got robbed a bit of some deep lore and potential story telling from this being cut, imo.

But one more thing to consider is this: All the stories, even if they did make it to the final cut, would still be stories within a story. Fictional folktales within a fictional setting. If we judge the above by how relevant the ACTUAL content that made it into the games were to the actual overarching plot... It'd be overall kinda useless beyond some flavor text. That's kind of the sad fact of it. Pokemon Players especially, grown adults too, are not exactly known to be well read and some play the game by rapidly A pressing every ounce of dialog they come across, even in brand new playthroughs. I'm sure some remember that one idiot on twitter that thought he made the discovery of the century when he found Snowpoint Temple in Legends Arceus, right? So understandably, especially when you're working on a clock, on limited space, on new and unfamiliar hardware, and trying to be as broad and reachable to audiences as you can- things get cut. Even... Some of the coolest lore building of all time SERIOUSLY A FUCKING PANTHEON WHAT THE HELL.

And I lied, there is one more thing to consider, especially for anyone actually morally offended by some of the content mentioned- Keep in mind that this is in 2003 to 2005ish Japan, with Game Freak (who we know are pretty out of touch in some regards, even by today's standards), before twitter, before tumblr, during a more edgy time for... well, everyone alive at the time, and especially adults. That's 20 years ago. Some of you may not have been alive at that point (did you finish your snacks and juice, lil guy?), some of you probably had a lot of your formative education influenced by the more puritanical side of tumblr or twitter, but it was simply a different time and place. That's it. The people involved in this have moved on and have probably grown into better people, and probably haven't made more fics like this. Maybe. Who knows. It's fiction anyway, and nobody real got hurt from it, and that's what's most important at the end of the day.

So that's my thoughts on it. I think I'm more annoyed by the fact that one of my favorites got a worse Vaporeon treatment than anything, and there's possibly the risk of Nintendo/TPC/Game Freak overreacting and gatekeeping Typhlosion out of the games for a bit. Sigh. My first pokemon, man. Well, anyway, try not to take it too seriously if you see the jokes and memes about it. It'll pass.

But hey, sexy Latina Skyla is canon! Shadow the Hedgehog wins!

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

Jooyeon XH smutty hcs pt.1

A/n: where to start with this man hmmm also don’t pay any mind to the pics they were done really fast

warningz/ info: obviously smutty lol, kissing, mentions of giving head, jooyeon oral fixation if you squint, this is written badly since it was in my drafts for so long, talk of marking up your partner, i think that’s it!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper”. This is in no way is meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone~

THIS IS SMUT SO PLEASE MINORS DNI

•••••••••••••••••••

firstly, I think he’d be a bottom. Honestly try to change my mind on this one, nah you can't. well, at least most of the time a bottom. So yeah a sassy kinda bratty bottom lmao

like sure he'll have his moments but they're pretty much far in between.

Hes also a complete nibbler when he hugs. Like, mostly nibbles your neck or ear lobe. Which I guess isn't really nsfw in itself buttt still do with that what you will

number 1/2 out of this group that when ya'll are making out he’ll excuse himself to the bathroom like twice. And youre like ??? like yeah of corse you understand what hes doing that its just that after yall have already broken the ice in that area/ yall have made each other cum like a multitude of other times so needless to say its kinda confusing why hes taking care of himself when you're right there?? It’s just like how he was before yall two took that step. *sigh*

He's just pretty much always gonna be a shy little baby and probably won’t initiate much

hes a little worried that you don’t want— no, need him as much as he needs you. You’ll just have to show him

and probably takes a minute to understand how you practically start fucking dripping at the sight of the tent in his pants.

how you want noting more than to run your hands down the expanse of his back

how—how—how—

speaking of his back… you scratch it and he’ll be in heaven. Wants to wear them proudly. Or like hickies???? Yeah that too. It’s like he’s telling the world that he’s yours. And my god does he love that thought.

A "Anywhere, anytime." Kinda guy. You're horny while ya'll are drving somehwer? Cool, he'lll pull over. Y’all are in the bread isle in Walmart? Great, the bathroom it is!

( don’t worry he’ll make sure to line the seat and spray it with Lysol lmao)

Low key high key likes it when you order him around. Noting too drastic like “shut up bitch.” But something along the lines of “come here.” Or “faster.” Ya know what can I say? Mans likes to be informed

i cannot stress this enough. He. Loves. Digging. His. Nails. And. Fingers. Into. Your. Hips. Not really to the point of leaving bruises but definitely to the point of leaving red marks/ crescent moon shaped indents. Kinda like you leaving marks on him. Like to look in the mirror at them and admire them. Or simply the next time yall are fucking he likes to see them to himself (if that makes sense) it serves as a little reminder of how close the two of yall are

has a thing for being close to you. Intimate or romantic. Whatever

liiikkkkeeee

the type of person to pull you to him 24/7 in general when y’all are having sex and or pull himself to your lips when he’s giving you head

1/2 of the: probably sometimes gets to the point where you can barely get any “work done” and you jokingly complain about it.

what can I say the man likes his kisses

Ya know how he’s a picky eater… well lemme just say in some ahem other regards he’s not lmao

like you cannot change my mind that Jooyeon isnt practically pussy drunk.

Ya know what scratch that he is pussy drunk

rip most of your free time cause once you let him get a taste he don’t wanna stop

legit probably always askin you if he can taste you. (“I swear it’ll be fast, baby. Just a couple licks”)

mans is bargaining lol/j

anyhow I can basically talk about this forever if I don’t stop now lol

~End~

©️2024copywrightforshutupheathersorryheatherr do not copy or translate my works even with credit to me

a/n: hope your liked it! Like I said this fic has been in my drafts since forever! So after making some edits I decided to post it for the fist fic of the new year! If you liked it, please leave some love like comments and or reblogs!

Taglist: @itz-yerin

[shima-draws]

Okay so. I'm like, 99% done with V3 and I realized I've barely shared like any of my thoughts here so. SPOILERS AHEAD

-The fact that Ryoma wanted to die and was fighting to find something to live for only to find out that he had NOTHING...that shit was sad bro

-Was NOT expecting Kirumi at all but in retrospect it's the least suspicious ones that you should be the most suspicious of. Also her execution was p brutal

-ANGIE WITH THE CULT...the fact that she managed to brainwash half the group had me terrified. Also her Atua worshipping got real old real fast. I hate religious cults lmao I was literally sitting there like "I REALLY hope she's the one to die this chapter" bc if I had to read one more sentence of her being like "Atua will save us all <3" I WOULD have gone to play in traffic.

-Angie needed to go but TENKO 😭 She was just a hopeless lesbian in love with Himiko she did not deserve what happened to her

-Speaking of Himiko I was kinda meh about her at first but after the chapter 3 trial her character developed so wonderfully...it was so nice to see her grow and change and learn to express herself 🥺

-TRAINING TRIO MY BELOVED FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER I would kill for them genuinely.

-My hatred for Kokichi only grew as time went on but after forcing Gonta to kill. MAN. That trial was so heartbreaking Gonta was just trying his best to protect everyone :"( Kokichi's such a little shit

-Kaito brushing off his illness as just him being afraid of ghosts AGGHHHH I knew there was something wrong from the start but seeing it progress and get worse was just 😭 I was literally sitting there like. Does he have a terminal illness. Oh my god he's going to die isn't he. NO HE'S MY FAVORITE PLEASEEEEE

-Was NOT expecting the space colony twist but even more so was the fact that the world ended...not once, but TWICE

-Me during chapter 4: How much you wanna bet next chapter Kokichi's gonna get killed and Kaito's gonna be the one who kills him Me during the chapter 5 trial: FUCKING. CALLED IT!!!!!!

-MAKI FALLING FOR KAITO and admitting it right before his execution.......my heart can't TAKE this shit please!!!!

-Kaito dying from his illness before the execution was even over...Monokuma being pissed about it...everyone looking at him and going HA BITCH YOU THOUGHT! Kaito beat you!!

-Also me during all this: NOT KAITO THAT'S SHUICHI'S EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BOYFRIEND

-Keebo going off the rails was not on my 2024 bingo card but here we are

-KAEDE DIED FOR NO REASON?? She didn't actually kill Rantaro. My girl was innocent after all huh 😔

-Me, 3 chapters in: Tsumugi is so boring she literally brings nothing to the plot whatsoever. She's just...there Me, during the chapter 6 class trial: OHHHH. THAT WAS INTENTIONAL. I KNEW they wouldn't just have a useless character that should have been my first clue honestly

-Also me: Why do the Monocubs even exist. They've done nothing but comedy routines and die this entire time. They're literally pointless?? I've been watching Game Grumps play V3 and every time they come on screen Dan and Arin collectively sigh together. LMAO

-Imagine me with my jaw on the FLOOR once everything was revealed to be fictional. It's all a lie?? They Truman Show'd this shit?? Neither of the first two games MATTERED?? (A friend explained that DRV3 is in a separate universe than the first two games so that calmed me down a little lmao I would have been so pissed if it were actually the case that everyone from the first two games were just. Not real. Didn't actually exist. It was all faked)

Anyway I'm not completely done with the game yet I'm at the tail end of the chapter 6 trial so we'll see how things go from here 😬 This has been a wild ride. An emotional rollercoaster for sure

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 6

The fact that Sheppard doesn't actually want to be separated from McKay, doesn't actually want there to be distance between them, is underlined by the fact that as soon as he reaches the jumper, he contacts McKay on the radio. It's literally the first thing he does. He both wants and needs McKay's company, even though his priority is keeping the man safe (and hence, away from him and what he thinks is his deleterious influence).

They have the following exchange over radio:

Sheppard: McKay. McKay: Still here. Sheppard: The son of a bitch beat me to it. He's fast. McKay: I think you should get back here. Sheppard: Negative.

This conversation has no point. Sheppard informs McKay of a situation he can do nothing about. McKay reiterates that he wishes for him to return, to no avail.

Sheppard is attempting to reconnect but he's terrible at expressing, what you'd call it, feelings. Sharing what he's doing, what's going on with him here, is him trying real hard to show McKay that he's important to him. To make amends. To tell him that he didn't actually mean to yell at him back there.

As relieved as McKay is to be hearing from him, his terse reply betrays that he is both upset and worried for the other man. Much more important than his hurt feelings is that he, too, just wants Sheppard to be safe. To keep him safe he's trying to use the most powerful weapon in his arsenal: logic. Only, logic isn't going to work because the motivation for what Sheppard did and is doing was irrational from the get-go.

I noted before that Sheppard rarely uses military parlance with McKay but then started acting extra military toward Dr. Gaul to put him in his place. Here, while Sheppard was the one that needed to contact McKay (because he wanted to have him near, hear that he's alright, know that he's fine, just called to say hello), he suddenly gets all military with "Negative."

It's not because he's suddenly on mission mode. It's not that he's trying to show the civilian his place. It's not even to maintain that all-important distance between them. It's to remind himself that he can't go back even though he really wants to. He's not saying "No, I won't". He's not saying "No, I can't." He's not saying "I'm not going to." He's not even saying "No."

The only thing he can say in this situation is "Negative" because every bone in his body wants to do exactly that without Rodney even having to tell him.

And it's fortunate for Sheppard that McKay was attempting to logic him because that's what he himself knows best -- knows that it would work on him the best. Because if McKay had done what Brendan did and begged Sheppard to stay with him. If he had pleaded. If McKay had simply asked, Sheppard would not have been able to leave. Like earlier, when he didn't even have to say the words out loud for Sheppard to do what he asked:

But instead, McKay continues trying to use reason to sway him:

McKay: There's no point in you being out there, this-- Sheppard: He's aboard my ship. McKay: What are you, Captain Kirk?! What good's it gonna do him?

This is the second reference to Star Trek in rather short order. So. Let's talk about Star Trek for a bit.

In Poisoning the Well (S01E07), it was Sheppard that called Dr. Beckett McCoy, "the TV character [he] plays in the real world". Note that he makes a reference to TOS, the television series, and not to the films through which the majority of the general audience probably know him. Sheppard makes the reference unprompted, associating Beckett's fear of the dematerialization through the wormhole with Bones' fear of transporters. McKay catches the reference immediately, yes, but he's not the one that brings it up. While we saw him watching "a strange episode of The Outer Limits" in Home (S01E08), watching cheesy science fiction seems much more up Sheppard's alley than McKay's.

And, given how we see McKay reference Star Trek here (and in the future, very notably a few episodes hence, in reference to Kirk "romancing the alien priestess"), McKay's knowledge of the franchise seems a lot more cursory than Sheppard's. He displays a more superficial understanding of the character of Kirk. Yes, Captain James Tiberius Kirk was an All-American Action Hero, brash and impulsive, headstrong and braggadocious. He had a beautiful girl on every planet and loved his space ship more than anything else. Admired by women, envied by men. This is the image of Kirk that McKay seems to have.

With John Sheppard, there is noticeable deconstruction of the hero-myth going on. He is a hero, but certainly not the kind of hero that we had in 1967.

We'll get to the other aspects of Kirk later but here, upset, McKay seems to indicate that Sheppard cares more about the space ship, an immaterial thing, than he does about people -- feeling abandoned, he feels that he is less important to Sheppard than the ship is. In this, he is to McKay like Captain Kirk. His caring for the Enterprise was one of his most notable characteristics, after all.

Only, as much as he loved his ship, Kirk destroyed it to save one man.

One of the most painful scenes in all of Star Trek happens at the end of the second movie, The Wrath of Khan. Kirk has to watch Spock die right before his eyes, helpless to do anything to stop it. How ever you interpret their connection, there is clearly love between them.

To comfort Kirk, Spock tells him that in the grand scheme of things his life is not worth more than anyone else's and if he can use it to spare many others, it's his choice to make. He's just one man, Jim. It will hurt, but you'll survive. It's the logical thing to do.

Only, Kirk doesn't see it that way. The entire third movie, The Search for Spock is Kirk willing to sacrifice everything and everyone for this one man, to get him back. That one life was worth more to him than all other lives combined. Even his ship, as one of the sacrifices he has to make is to allow the Enterprise to be blown up. And Jim, well. He did love that ship.

This is shown especially in the series to the point of lampooning. So yes, calling someone that excessively cares about their ship Kirk would make a kind of sense. But that's not what Sheppard does. He likes the jumpers fine. He likes flying things and they are advanced space craft, what's not to like? But they're not, never have been, and never will be more important to him than people. In fact, just a few episodes ago he was willing to sacrifice a jumper just to forge some kind of a deal with the Genii.

At the end of the third movie, Kirk comes to as close to a confession of love as one can without saying the actual words. He tells Spock "Because the needs of the one... outweigh the needs of the many," a reversal of his dying words. To James T. Kirk, Spock was worth all the other lives combined and then some.

So, Sheppard compared Beckett to Bones a few episodes ago. Now McKay implies that Sheppard is acting like Kirk. And yes, Sheppard and Kirk certainly have some things in common. But it's not the things that McKay thinks.

I mentioned the homoerotic nature of Kirk and Spock's relationship previously. While it may not have been the original intention of the creators, they certainly acknowledged the existence of this undercurrent between the characters. They even created a special kind of love, a word for a type of love felt by the Vulcans that was somewhere between friendship and erotic love. In the novelization of the first movie, their relationship is described as follows: "Theirs had been the touching of two minds which the old poet's of Spock's home planet had proclaimed as superior even to the wild physical love which affected Vulcans every seventh year during pon farr."

What ever his sexuality was, how ever many alien priestesses he may have romanced, Spock was the closest person to Kirk. It was Spock that he loved the most, no others could compare. Not the mother of his son, not even his son. Kirk and McCoy, the ship's doctor, were very good friends. Their interaction showed us what close male friendship could look like. And Kirk and Spock's relationship was always something different. It was something more. Deeper.

They were in love. However you interpret the nature of this love (or whether it was ever physically consummated; but let's note that the touch-telepathic Vulcans may have had very different ideas to humans as to how such things were consummated), they were lovers. And this is more obvious watching the show. I cannot imagine that any young bisexual boy watching TOS would fail to notice the undercurrent. Would fail to notice the love between the two characters. And might even have been inspired to, say, join the air force to find something like that.

As mentioned, McKay was attempting to logic Sheppard during their exchange. Sheppard called Beckett McCoy, McKay called Sheppard Kirk. By method of elimination that would make McKay himself Spock. And they do have much in common.

Intelligent, logical and socially awkward science officer repressing his feelings, feeling shame for them. Willing to do anything for the dashing starship captain that he doesn't realize, can't even understand cares for him more than life itself.

Yes, Sheppard does have many things in common with Captain Kirk. Caring about his ship is certainly one of those things. But like for Kirk, the ship would never hold the tiniest candle to how much he cares about the man he wants to keep by his side at all times, at all costs. The one he can't lose. The one he can't live without.

"Of my friend I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... ...human."

Continued in Pt. 7

[sehtoast]

Is it me or not many people simp for Homelander compared to other villains? It’s like people can’t say they find him hot without getting jumped and i just don’t understand why? There’re villains who have done way worse and people still like them so why is it any different with Homelander, he is literally fictional and never harmed anyone in real life. What do you think is the reason?

Prepare yourself. This is gonna be a long one lol:

For what it’s worth, I feel like a lot more people do simp for him than are open about it for exactly what you just said. I’ve rarely seen fandoms respond to people liking a character the way people jump at us for liking Homelander.  The amount of hate mail I've received and seen others get and the genuinely FOUL things that have been said are just absolutely crazy. Like I’ve seen less kickback for people simping for real-world mass shooters and serial killers than I have for fans of Homie, which is WILD but yeah!!

I think it’s because Kripke decided to make him a Trump allegory that makes people so quick to jump us over it honestly. I feel like if he wasn’t, a LOT more people would openly like him too. 

More below the cut:

90% of the criticisms I see toward Homie fans is “he’s LITCHERALLY TRUMP” and/or something about Stormfront.  Some people go the “he’s a r*pist” route, which, sure, valid, but then this is not the same energy a lot of fans of r*pist characters have gotten.  I remember with shows like GoT, where characters could be any number of awful things (including r*pists), there wasn’t necessarily as much vilification of people for liking those characters, and, even though I didn’t watch much of the show, I know daaaaamn well we got some qualifiers in there.  That’s just an example, and there’s certainly others that prove the point. Soldier Boy was downright HORRIBLE to the women he was around, but we barely see criticism there and it's pretty heavily implied he's ignored consent many times in his own time given the way he treats women - plus we know he s*xually abused Gunpowder. Anyway, if that energy isn’t being directed in nearly the same capacity there or elsewhere, then it’s primarily likely to be either reason one or two, and I definitely would put my money on number one.  And like, being a Homelander enjoyer has not made me a Trump enjoyer. In fact, I have a pretty visceral reaction of disgust every time I see that rat bitch on the news lmao.  

Being a Homelander simp certainly does not mean we approve of his every act, but media morality police think this is not the case. I think a lot of people– and this was 100% exacerbated during covid shutdowns imo– have started to see media consumption as a form of morality and feel as though your enjoyment of something is a perfect spreadsheet of who you are as a person.  I mean, there have always been people like this, but it’s gotten worse and significantly more annoying in recent years.  I think the death of media literacy is also contributing heavily here because there being a lack of critical thinking associated with media consumption has so many people painting everything in a purely black and white context. Like this is good, this is bad, there is no middle ground in which people can consume this or appreciate that without it being a moral violation.  Which is… increasingly concerning lol.   

All media has problematic elements somewhere/somehow, and basically all characters do as well.  However, very few have the director jerking off and going “i’m SOOOOO smart for comparing him to trump omfg” and constantly shoving shoehorned political and social commentary into the script the way Kripke does (ask me how I felt about the transphobia ‘commentary’ this season and I will write you a thesis paper about how bad, ineffective, and mostly insulting to trans viewers it was). He’s so fired up to make the two a mirror image that even Antony Starr has said he’s sometimes checking Kripke and telling him that taking it too far reduces the character to one or two dimensional at best unless the comparisons directly relate to the narrative of the character.   The allegories have been effective in keeping people (for the most part) from viewing Homelander as a hero, but it’s also created a lot of senseless vitriol for people who actually do enjoy the character whether strictly because of the character himself or because they’re simping (I do both 😂).

So uh… that’s my extremely long two-cents. Hopefully it makes sense as I’m a little sleep deprived at the moment and just got out of a two hour long lecture lol

[exterminate-flatscan-terrorists]

As a misanthropic XMen fan, my belief in the IRREDEEMABLE TRASHINESS OF HUMANITY has once again been VALIDATED when Humans in real life and fiction have once again proved that they do not deserve to be saved. If you're NOT a moron who instantly jump into JUSTIFYING Child Murder, stop reading, keep scrolling this isnt for you. If this offends your FLATSCAN Muggle pride, I dont fvcking care.

anyway... soooo, The Last of Us' controversial choice of Joel... ungh

Dr Jerry Anderson and the Fireflies were just WRONG.

bunch psudoscience feel good id!ots the lot of them.

The only people who are debating this are the scientifically illiterate.

ya know, the idiots who takes the opinions of ONE Firefly "DOCTOR" seriously.

There is NO DEBATE to be had here because the Fireflies are pseudoscience idiots who dont know WTF they where doing.

Their ONE "DOCTOR" came up with a BuIISht theory and IMMIDIATELY DECIDED TO KILL A CHILD as a solution.

It takes TEAMS of actual SCIENTISTS , then YEARS of research, experiments, testings, discoveries, and development to come up with vaccines and cures,

but for some reason, the Fireflies' ONE "DOCTOR" has figured everything out in under a few hours. And everyone in this merry band of idiots believed him.

Whats next? Hes gonna mix Ellies brain with GOOP and spread the cure via 5G????

This is elementary level basic knowledge of the scientific process, you fvcking dissapointing morons. But no, I feel like we're dealing with idiot lunatics whos done nothing but loose, theyre so DESPERATE for a WIN at something , theyed delude themselves into believing anything.

and then, there are the idiots bitching about "ooooh, they should have waked her up so she could give consent!"

Jezus shting chr;st.

I am so fvcking baffled at the excuses you FLATSCAN Muggle trash come up with to excuse your bullsht.

As stated at the beginning regarding the fact that the Fireflies and their ONE "DOCTOR" are more WRONG about this "cure" than the Flatearthers with phds ... god fvcking damnit, i cant think of words of how stupid you Muggles are.

I DONT CARE IF SHE CONSENTS. She would have died for NOTHING, because the ONE "DOCTOR" is WRONG!!!

And also, when a child says she wants to DIE for anything , dont fvcking let her, you selfish fv¢king psycho!!

This shouldnt even be discussed!

What the heII is wrong with you people!?

Getting infected can be AVOIDED , just dont be fv¢king stup¡d, stup¡d.

Youre gonna k¡ll a CHILD because you cant be asked to NOT be a dvmba$$ .

In the Last of Us Universe, Average NOT STUPlD PEOPLE dont get infected. You can avoid it. Youre gonna sacrifice a child because youre a dvmba$$ who wanna French kiss a child clicker?

THIS IS NOT THE TROLLEY PROBLEM!!! Humans have been surviving for DECADES! In their walled off communities, QZs, Jackson, WLF, The Seraphites, There are communities in the frigid Canada, etc. The entirety of The Last of Us Part II has almost NOTHING to do with the fungus! BECAUSE through years of experience, HUMANS FIGURED OUT HOW TO AVOID GETTING INFECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

If you live in the Last of Us world and you dont wanna get infected, be cautious, be careful , DONT BE FVCKING STUPID.

Humanity is NOT tied on train tracks. HUMANITY CAN AVOID THE TRAIN!!!

Also, remember Marlenes lines?

"How long till she's torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders?"

ah yes, thank you for pointing out the actual USUAL ways people get killed.

Is there a vaccine for "getting ripped apart" , a vaccine for "bullets, stabbings, GOLF CLUBS"??? A vaccine for general Human bullshittery??

The Fungus Problem at this point in the story is just another nuisance, just another threat, the fungus threat that Humanity has been learning to avoid for DECADES.

As a Misanthrope, I see these "debates" regarding "The Ethics of Killing a Teenager" as yet another proof that Humans are just the WORST. Its so ARROGANT of you to think youre worth killing a child for... For what, a "cure" against a disease YOU CAN AVOID easily by NOT being dumbass?? Its like you delusionally believe that drinkinng a childs blood will prevent Cov¡d, so because you dont want to wear a fvcking mask or wash your filthy hands, nah, youd kill a child instead.

Joel is Not the one whos selfish here. YOU ARE. You filthy FLATSCAN Muggle trash have the audacity to even consider killing a teenager for the pseudoscientific FANTASY "possibility" of a "cure", against some disease you can AVOID getting infected by in the first place. wat. is it getting repetitive. is it even sticking in your mind or are you just too busy doing Olympic Mental Gymnastics coming up with Bullsht reasons as to why its justified to kill Ellie.

Me if I'm in that Last of Us world, I would absolutely love to unalive MONSTERS that sacrifice children. Spray your Misanthrope repellant, Dunning Kruger, delude your self, thats what your good at, dont worry, "there won't be any pain"

I feel my Misanthropic beliefs are vindicated or validated when I see Human ANIMALS just loose their fvcking reasoning skills, and jump right into Child Sacrifice that will result into NOTHING, just because youre selfish scared cowards idiots. Its the same fvcking mentality that drove you into burning "witches", or the actual Child Sacrifice because your god told you, or kill albinos because you think their bones have magical properties, or then massacreing minorities, putting innocent black teens in nooses because some white girl felt threatened, putting people in concentration camps then in ovens, etc. This mentality never left. Youd kill a child if it means you wouldnt be afraid for a bit, youd justify it in your mind, until you are reminded that the real MONSTERS are PEOPLE, like you.

The FACT that the MAJORITY of you moronic FLATSCAN Muggle fv¢kers dont even fv¢king bother to stop and THINK before saying shit like "Kill child for TINY POSSIBILITY of cure" just proves that Humanity deserves extinction. You fv¢kers dont even stop to think sh¡t through. No thoughts, no hesitation. Just Fvck you.

FYI, I didnt make this post to change your mind, becuz thats IMPOSSIBLE, youre the type of m0ron whod fall for SCAMS and pseudoscientific Quack garbage claims made by anyone who claims to be a "doctor" just because he proposes GARBAGE Silver Bullet theories (sad that you didnt die after the QUACKS told you to actually drink Silver to fight cov¡d, they should have said mercury, it would have culled a lot of you ¡diots), youre not giving a fv¢k about the opinions of other actual experts but you'd listen to m0rons who think 5G causes cov¡d, people like you cant ever be convinced of actual science. I dont care if you drink bleach because you believed Trump, d¡e for all I care, but the problem irises when you even THINK that killing a child is the Silver Bullet against a disease that you can avoid because YOU cant prevent yourself for being a dµmba$$. That type of subhuman thinking should put you on some type of list.

I hate being reminded that I'm trapped in this planet with semisentient creatures that "think" like you. Stup¡d GOOP loving ARROGANT cov¡diot fv¢ks who'd kill children because YOU think ¡diot fv¢ks like YOU are worth sacrificing anything for. I wish I have enough poisoned GOOP for all of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

Now I won’t see any bs-*rumors had that Yasuke replace a Japanese male character because of the George Floyd riots of 2020* BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!

Now I can see a theory that there was a Japanese man in the early ideas of a ac Japan game but they change to Yasuke. Especially after Ghost of Tsushima [that sequel having a clusterfuck of discourse] but unless people are lying they erasing the previous Japanese assassins from the era that was established?

…When Hattori Hanzo been confirmed and with the usage of Fujibayashi Nagato, all three famous iga jonins of the era are assassins

And different types of main characters for ac games change a lot rather it be early develop of executive meddling

Yasuke fits what a theorized when he was leaked in spring 2023. A former slave that want to make sure Japan don’t fall under the tyranny of the Templars like his now confirmed for ac shadows birthplace Mozambique did. With him slowly understanding the brotherhood ways.

Im on edge as well, but the base game ends on 1584 with Yasuke in his 30’s and Naoe 22. So they can easily say that Yasuke left to make sure the Japanese Templars don’t get reinforcements while Naoe decides to confirm with to see the world and very likely help the other assassins across Asia.

Sorry sorry I’m overthinking, the problem with modern black characters in stuff these days it surface levels understanding of such cultures.

Seriously why got a goldmine for new games and media set in Southeast Asia with the assassins and Templars fighting among the Portuguese and Spanish empires

Also show off the other assassins that Yasuke and Naoe will interact via marketing? And the different outfits the two will have. Sorry just…was ac shadows green light on an Indian burial ground?

Now I won’t see any bs-*rumors had that Yasuke replace a Japanese male character because of the George Floyd riots of 2020* BITCH WHAT THE FUCK!

Other than this one you sent me

Now I can see a theory that there was a Japanese man in the early ideas of a ac Japan game but they change to Yasuke. Especially after Ghost of Tsushima [that sequel having a clusterfuck of discourse] but unless people are lying they erasing the previous Japanese assassins from the era that was established?

All the AC garbage has been the thing that's gotten me to the point of being done with people tossing out the terms "woke" or "DEI" or any of the other things people on the right pull out that are now the current equivalent of when a left wing person cries nazi or fasicsm ect.

Honestly with Shadows it's a good twist having him in there, another random Samurai in feudal Japan game even if it is AC doesn't stand out, the guy is a real live historical person who was given the rank of samurai before the rules surrounding how to get that rank got more difficult.

If he starts calling out institutional racism in feudal Japan I will adjust my position, but for now the way I see it is ubisoft wanted to make a game and didn't want to just be another company spitting out another samurai game that had no real hook to it.

Yasuke fits what a theorized when he was leaked in spring 2023. A former slave that want to make sure Japan don’t fall under the tyranny of the Templars like his now confirmed for ac shadows birthplace Mozambique did. With him slowly understanding the brotherhood ways. Im on edge as well, but the base game ends on 1584 with Yasuke in his 30’s and Naoe 22. So they can easily say that Yasuke left to make sure the Japanese Templars don’t get reinforcements while Naoe decides to confirm with to see the world and very likely help the other assassins across Asia.

Could be interesting to see where they take it, if they take it anywhere that is.

Very small amount of information about the guy out there, from what I've seen they're using most all of it too, but after that they can write whatever story they like.

It's historical "Fiction" after all

Sorry sorry I’m overthinking, the problem with modern black characters in stuff these days it surface levels understanding of such cultures.

There's at least two audiences they need to watch out for, the woke and the call them woke audiences.

I don't envy people trying to do it and I'd probably just stick my middle finger up at both of them if I had the option.

Seriously why got a goldmine for new games and media set in Southeast Asia with the assassins and Templars fighting among the Portuguese and Spanish empires

I want to see them leading a slave revolt in the middle east, or even just in Iran, get the Afro-Iranians to rise up like Spartacus, then start going nuts on the Ottomans if at all possible.

Also show off the other assassins that Yasuke and Naoe will interact via marketing? And the different outfits the two will have. Sorry just…was ac shadows green light on an Indian burial ground?

I think it would be fun, given the nature of how some of the different things that aren't entirely factual and mysticism plays into it, if they could just do a gathering of all the different Templar's from start to finish in one of the old fortresses on Cyprus, could be entertaining to see.

[heartmole]

Major JJK rant incoming. If any of you are fans of the characters shown alive in the recent chapter (269), skip reading this coz I WILL talk shit about your faves.

I had underestimated the levels of fuckery Gege Akutami could reach. Perhaps that one-eyed cat aspires to unleash even more filth than can be found in the bathrooms of shady gas stations, which is exactly where every copy of this ass manga should ideally end up. Down the toilet.

As a certified Yuta hater, let me begin by saying that he, and that cursed bitch of his that he lugs around need to put in a supersonic blender and ground to a disgusting paste and then poured down the drain. I do not care for the absolute shitty explanation about Gojo and him practicing body swaps (because what the hell is even that), he defiled his mentor's body and used it as a tool, no matter that he had his mentor's permission. And this critter gets to get away with no repercussions? And he gets to be hailed and loved? Oh, he will burn in the special hell where such fictional characters go to burn. Sometimes I wish he was real because then we could have actually done something about his transgressions, but well, he is a drawing. Not much penance can be laid on the head of a drawn cartoon.

Gojo is a drawing too. But, he is a drawing that deserved so much better. He gave everything he had in the pursuit of making a better world for his students (which he and his beloved never had). So much suffering, so much loneliness, and all he gets is so much disrespect levelled at him.

Why is Kusakabe alive? Why is Higurama alive? Why is Mei-mei alive? Why are utterly useless characters around?

But more importantly WHY is Nanami not with us, where is Choso? Yuki? Why did Mai die? Why Haibara? Why Tsumiki? WHY HAS TOJI NOT COME BACK? WHY DID GETO HAVE TO DIE?

If Sukuna just needed to be turned into a spongy cute blob, then why all this hype? this tragic build-up, this stupidly long sequence of fight scenes?

The fact that Megumi is alive is a sliver of brightness in this dank piece of work. But dearest Megs, depression and trauma of the kind that you have been through, does NOT get cured by the magical power of friendship. I don't know what lies ahead for you, my baby boy, even after this shitty manga ends.

At this point the ONLY decent ending would be to let Gojo rest in peace with his one and only Geto. Because this tomfoolery has gone on too long and it is time to stop indulging in our delusions. Time to stop crying over drawings and maybe start planning to teach a lesson to the perpetrator of this madness- Gege Akutami.

[emmg]

FINALLY done with all my work which means I spent the day catching up on my reading. You know what that means *rubs hands*

“Tell me, does Mazzanti ring a bell?” >>> I am going to take off his belt and beat his face with it lmfaoooo. NO RAPHAEL NO, normal working class people DO NOT know what a freaking Mazzanti is. GET OUT OF HERE with your "casual everyday" Ferrari. Oh my goooooddd I hate him so much but I also need him carnally. He makes me so mad but I still want him. He's sooooo arrogant and so rich and so the embodiment of everything that is wrong with capitalism but I'd still kneel for him. This is the type of rich dude who will tell you how nice you look and then later go ew is that from Marshall's? And then wash his hands because god forbid his skin touches anything other than pure cashmere.

Anyway moving on lmfao.

Raphael pulling into suburbia in his Ferrari to pick her up. How noble of him to venture out of his ivory tower to see how the plebs live, wade through the muck and filth of roads in non-gated communities. He's like:

Oh man it's a short excerpt but it gave me so much joy lmaooo. I can practically smell him. The leather interior, the cologne, I'm sure he has some mints stashed somewhere, maybe he smoked a cigarette earlier idk (ik ik, but I actually enjoy cigarette smoke on a man, sue me lmfao)

I can't decide if Raphael would be the type to overtip the valet in advance to make sure his car doesn't get scratched or if he's more of a glare-you-down-do-you-know-who-my-father-is kinda guy. Probably both, depending on the mood lol

And now I'm imagining him running into his dad at the restaurant and suddenly he's a lil bitch in front of his date because daddy is even a bigger deal than he is and oh would you look at that, he actually likes his date and orders an even more expensive bottle of wine than Raphael initially did and now it's a pissing contest and Charly's there like lol k at least im not paying

Which of course means after he's grumpy but then she tells him his dad is annoying and ooof that's the hottest thing ever, instant boner, they fuck in the bathroom, the waiter gets a huge tip. Charly wonders if these types of places do doggy bags for leftovers, cue Raphael dragging a hand down his face like omg she's an uncultured swine

And Tav's like stfu this beluga caviar costs 1/3 of my rent, I'm taking them home

Oh man now I'm just making up scenarios in my head, but this premise is so fun to me and I'm having so much fun reading it and so much fun imagining stuff and ----

So I'm not sure how She's Just That Girl is gonna go, but I am SO FUCKING HERE FOR IT. Like I'm feral, clawing at the bars of my enclosure, and now just because I'm in it loool

I was kicking my feet and GIGGLING and wheezing and clapping my hands like a seal loooool

No but fr I am such a HOE for the premise of Raphael manifesting in the real world and taking an interest in "you." Omg yes give me. Partly because of the potential for the sheer undiluted psychological horror. Like seriously yeah you can obviously make it hilarious, and it should be hilarious where applicable. But also consider this:

The gaslighting. Because you try to tell yourself it’s not real. This isn’t possible. It’s Raphael, a fictional character. And no one else sees him. Or rather they do see him, but they see a person, simply a person, who maybe looks like him but is utterly ordinary, absolutely human, not whatever it is you believe him to be. No one else feels him. You’re alone in this nightmare, and the isolation is choking.

There’s no way to explain it to anyone. “Hey, so, uh, Raphael from bg3 is, like, real now? And haunting me? And I think he’s winning?” Yeah, no. They’d either laugh or have you committed but tbh at this point you’d take the padded room if you thought it’d get him out of your head.

But it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop. He’s everywhere. In your shadow. In your dreams. In the flicker of a reflection that shouldn’t be smiling. You think, maybe if I just break something, something big, like a mirror, like myself, maybe I’ll snap out of it. Maybe I’ll wake up.

Because isn’t this what you wanted? A break from reality? An escape into the fictional? To be special? To perch on the devil’s lap and feel his fingers trace circles down your spine while he smiles like he knows every filthy little thought in your head? Isn’t this what you fantasized about while reading all those ridiculous fanfics? Isn’t this exactly what you begged the universe for when the monotony of dishes and day jobs felt like too much?

You didn’t want to scrub plates. You wanted to scrub blood off marble, your hands trembling, while he praised, while he called you a good girl. You didn’t want a life of bills and deadlines; you wanted magic and crown; magical, unstable orbs; and the thrill of stepping across planes into the unknown. You wanted to be noticed. Wanted to matter. And now now he’s here. Raphael himself, your shameful 2d desire. Offering it all on a silver platter.

But isn’t it funny how the fantasy didn’t tell you about the terror? The way his words would throttle your thoughts, making you question if they’re even yours anymore? How his image, and now even yours, scatters in a hundred fragments of glass, of that mirror you keep breaking again and again because you see him in it when no one else does, the same mirror that is always whole the day after. You wonder if it’s mocking you; or worse, if it’s him, stitching the pieces back together so you’ll break again. Because you will, won’t you? You’ll break it again. You’ll break yourself again.

And in the morning it's back to your part time job.

Anywhooooooo, don't mind me, just the ol' mind going crazy with ideas now that I've been fed good soup hehe

I know there’s a template for it somewhere or whatever but to be entirely honest I don’t give a flying fuckity fuck about finding it so anyway ~

*bangs on pots and pans*

WIP ✨WHENEVER✨

I nominate (and by nominate I mean tag lmao) @thessaralka as the resident solavellan expert, @heylittleriotact as fellow emmrich brainrot enthusiast, and @adinfernumadinfinitum as my raphael crack dealer aka yall embody my current three hyperfixations, congratulations, you’ve won nothing lmao

I can’t sleep and saw someone else do it so now I’m doing it too because I’m ~creative and original~

[justyouraverageshittyblogger]

Things Snaters cannot comprehend due to their “the world is only black and white and only goes my way” point of view

CHANGING YOUR WAYS TO FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT SIDE FOR LOVE DOESN’T INVALIDATE YOUR CHANGING OF WAYS, OR THE GOOD THINGS YOU HAVE DONE.

AND SAYING THAT PEOPLE CHANGING FOR LOVE IS BAD INVALIDATES PEOPLE THAT HAVE WORKED THROUGH UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS BC OF LOVE, STOPPED DOING DRUGS FOR LOVE, AND PEOPLE THAT HAVE STARTED SEEKING THERAPY (for various mental illnesses or other reasons) FOR LOVE.

JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HATE A CHARACTER, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE CORRECT TO INVALIDATE OR DEMEAN THE WAY A PERSON HAS IMPROVED AS A HUMAN BEING OR THE GOOD THINGS THEY HAVE DONE TO MAKE UP FOR THEIR WRONGDOINGS.

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO BECOME BETTER FOR LOVE. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO CHANGE THEIR MINDSET FOR LOVE. PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE UP FOR THEIR MISTAKES FOR LOVE. 

JUST BECAUSE YOU SPECULATE THAT SNAPE WOULD HAVE REMAINED A DEATH EATER IF NEVILLE WAS THE CHOSEN ONE DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE CORRECT BECAUSE THIS IS NOT CANON AND IS ALL SPECULATION FROM YOUR SHALLOW ANALYSIS OF A MORALLY GRAY CHARACTER.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[exterminate-flatscan-terrorists]

As a misanthropic XMen fan, my belief in the IRREDEEMABLE TRASHINESS OF HUMANITY has once again been VALIDATED when Humans in real life and fiction have once again proved that they do not deserve to be saved. If you're NOT a moron who instantly jump into JUSTIFYING Child Murder, stop reading, keep scrolling this isnt for you. If this offends your FLATSCAN Muggle pride, I dont fvcking care.

anyway... soooo, The Last of Us' controversial choice of Joel... ungh

Dr Jerry Anderson and the Fireflies were just WRONG.

bunch psudoscience feel good id!ots the lot of them.

The only people who are debating this are the scientifically illiterate.

ya know, the idiots who takes the opinions of ONE Firefly "DOCTOR" seriously.

There is NO DEBATE to be had here because the Fireflies are pseudoscience idiots who dont know WTF they where doing.

Their ONE "DOCTOR" came up with a BuIISht theory and IMMIDIATELY DECIDED TO KILL A CHILD as a solution.

It takes TEAMS of actual SCIENTISTS , then YEARS of research, experiments, testings, discoveries, and development to come up with vaccines and cures,

but for some reason, the Fireflies' ONE "DOCTOR" has figured everything out in under a few hours. And everyone in this merry band of idiots believed him.

Whats next? Hes gonna mix Ellies brain with GOOP and spread the cure via 5G????

This is elementary level basic knowledge of the scientific process, you fvcking dissapointing morons. But no, I feel like we're dealing with idiot lunatics whos done nothing but loose, theyre so DESPERATE for a WIN at something , theyed delude themselves into believing anything.

and then, there are the idiots bitching about "ooooh, they should have waked her up so she could give consent!"

Jezus shting chr;st.

I am so fvcking baffled at the excuses you FLATSCAN Muggle trash come up with to excuse your bullsht.

As stated at the beginning regarding the fact that the Fireflies and their ONE "DOCTOR" are more WRONG about this "cure" than the Flatearthers with phds ... god fvcking damnit, i cant think of words of how stupid you Muggles are.

I DONT CARE IF SHE CONSENTS. She would have died for NOTHING, because the ONE "DOCTOR" is WRONG!!!

And also, when a child says she wants to DIE for anything , dont fvcking let her, you selfish fv¢king psycho!!

This shouldnt even be discussed!

What the heII is wrong with you people!?

Getting infected can be AVOIDED , just dont be fv¢king stup¡d, stup¡d.

Youre gonna k¡ll a CHILD because you cant be asked to NOT be a dvmba$$ .

In the Last of Us Universe, Average NOT STUPlD PEOPLE dont get infected. You can avoid it. Youre gonna sacrifice a child because youre a dvmba$$ who wanna French kiss a child clicker?

THIS IS NOT THE TROLLEY PROBLEM!!! Humans have been surviving for DECADES! In their walled off communities, QZs, Jackson, WLF, The Seraphites, There are communities in the frigid Canada, etc. The entirety of The Last of Us Part II has almost NOTHING to do with the fungus! BECAUSE through years of experience, HUMANS FIGURED OUT HOW TO AVOID GETTING INFECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

If you live in the Last of Us world and you dont wanna get infected, be cautious, be careful , DONT BE FVCKING STUPID.

Humanity is NOT tied on train tracks. HUMANITY CAN AVOID THE TRAIN!!!

Also, remember Marlenes lines?

"How long till she's torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders?"

ah yes, thank you for pointing out the actual USUAL ways people get killed.

Is there a vaccine for "getting ripped apart" , a vaccine for "bullets, stabbings, GOLF CLUBS"??? A vaccine for general Human bullshittery??

The Fungus Problem at this point in the story is just another nuisance, just another threat, the fungus threat that Humanity has been learning to avoid for DECADES.

As a Misanthrope, I see these "debates" regarding "The Ethics of Killing a Teenager" as yet another proof that Humans are just the WORST. Its so ARROGANT of you to think youre worth killing a child for... For what, a "cure" against a disease YOU CAN AVOID easily by NOT being dumbass?? Its like you delusionally believe that drinkinng a childs blood will prevent Cov¡d, so because you dont want to wear a fvcking mask or wash your filthy hands, nah, youd kill a child instead.

Joel is Not the one whos selfish here. YOU ARE. You filthy FLATSCAN Muggle trash have the audacity to even consider killing a teenager for the pseudoscientific FANTASY "possibility" of a "cure", against some disease you can AVOID getting infected by in the first place. wat. is it getting repetitive. is it even sticking in your mind or are you just too busy doing Olympic Mental Gymnastics coming up with Bullsht reasons as to why its justified to kill Ellie.

Me if I'm in that Last of Us world, I would absolutely love to unalive MONSTERS that sacrifice children. Spray your Misanthrope repellant, Dunning Kruger, delude your self, thats what your good at, dont worry, "there won't be any pain"

I feel my Misanthropic beliefs are vindicated or validated when I see Human ANIMALS just loose their fvcking reasoning skills, and jump right into Child Sacrifice that will result into NOTHING, just because youre selfish scared cowards idiots. Its the same fvcking mentality that drove you into burning "witches", or the actual Child Sacrifice because your god told you, or kill albinos because you think their bones have magical properties, or then massacreing minorities, putting innocent black teens in nooses because some white girl felt threatened, putting people in concentration camps then in ovens, etc. This mentality never left. Youd kill a child if it means you wouldnt be afraid for a bit, youd justify it in your mind, until you are reminded that the real MONSTERS are PEOPLE, like you.

The FACT that the MAJORITY of you moronic FLATSCAN Muggle fv¢kers dont even fv¢king bother to stop and THINK before saying shit like "Kill child for TINY POSSIBILITY of cure" just proves that Humanity deserves extinction. You fv¢kers dont even stop to think sh¡t through. No thoughts, no hesitation. Just Fvck you.

FYI, I didnt make this post to change your mind, becuz thats IMPOSSIBLE, youre the type of m0ron whod fall for SCAMS and pseudoscientific Quack garbage claims made by anyone who claims to be a "doctor" just because he proposes GARBAGE Silver Bullet theories (sad that you didnt die after the QUACKS told you to actually drink Silver to fight cov¡d, they should have said mercury, it would have culled a lot of you ¡diots), youre not giving a fv¢k about the opinions of other actual experts but you'd listen to m0rons who think 5G causes cov¡d, people like you cant ever be convinced of actual science. I dont care if you drink bleach because you believed Trump, d¡e for all I care, but the problem irises when you even THINK that killing a child is the Silver Bullet against a disease that you can avoid because YOU cant prevent yourself for being a dµmba$$. That type of subhuman thinking should put you on some type of list.

I hate being reminded that I'm trapped in this planet with semisentient creatures that "think" like you. Stup¡d GOOP loving ARROGANT cov¡diot fv¢ks who'd kill children because YOU think ¡diot fv¢ks like YOU are worth sacrificing anything for. I wish I have enough poisoned GOOP for all of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!

[cosmicjoke]

Banana Fish and the subtle malice of expected “happy endings”:

Hell, I am getting sick to death of people dumping on the ending of “Banana Fish”, disregarding it as “lazy”, or “last minute”, or “shock-value”.  Akimi Yoshida PLANNED the ending of “Banana Fish” from the beginning.  It was an ending almost ten years in the making.  It wasn’t last minute.  It wasn’t “lazy”.  It wasn’t done for shock-value, and it wasn’t done carelessly.  It was ASH’S story, and it was the only way it could have ended FOR Ash.  Not anyone else.  FOR Ash. 

The thing people who complain about “Banana Fish’s” ending don’t seem to get, the ones who go on and on about how it was “unfair”, or claim that it sends the message that people who have been sexually abused can’t ever find happiness, is that they don’t consider the fact that Ash himself isn’t supposed to be a composite, or representative of EVERY abuse victim ever, and that, in fact, every victim of abuse, no matter what kind, is going to absorb it, and respond to it, and cope with it differently.  Just because Ash might have found peace in death doesn’t mean that the story is telling every real life victim of abuse that that’s the only way for them to find peace.  Ash is an individual.  He may be a character real life victims can relate to, but he isn’t THEM.  He’s fictional, and he’s himself, and his experience, and his way of coping, and his life, isn’t meant to be a blueprint or a guide for how every real life victim is meant to be or live.  I doubt most people who have suffered sexual abuse similar to Ash’s then go on to become gang leaders in New York, or the chosen heir to a mafia empire, for example. 

But the thing that really bothers me most of all about people who complain about the ending of “Banana Fish” and act like it’s some sort of horrific affront to abuse victims, or is sending a “dangerous” message with Ash’s death, is that it ASSUMES every victim of abuse should be able to just recover from it, that they should, with enough effort and time and work, be able to move on.  But that ISN’T TRUE for every abuse victim.  For every victim of abuse who DOES move on and is able to get past what they went through and make peace with it, there’s another who simply CAN’T.  And I know it hurts to acknowledge that, and it sucks, and it’s ugly and painful.  But think what it’s like for actual victims of abuse who see in Ash someone they can relate to specifically because he isn’t able to move past his trauma, specifically because he’s someone who carries the weight and pain of it with him his whole life, to then see people bitching and moaning that because the story didn’t have a happy ending, because Ash didn’t recover, it’s an ugly, dangerous story, dismissing it as “trash”, trying to discredit it from being the legitimate and compassionate work of art dealing with a deeply sensitive and tragic subject that it actually is. 

You’re essentially telling those people who, in real life, aren’t able to just move past their abuse or heal or ever, fully recover that they themselves, through their inability to “get better” are sending a dangerous message to the survivor community.  Well, fuck that.   If it makes you too uncomfortable to acknowledge that there are people in this world who have suffered abuse, who aren’t ever able to get past it, or move on from it, or break free of the trauma and pain of it, too fucking bad, because they exist.  There are people who just can’t, and it doesn’t make them weak, or failures, or lesser than.  It just makes them human.  It just shows that each person is different, and has a different capacity for what they can and can’t cope with, or heal from.  When you insist on this absurd notion that every person who’s ever gone through abuse can absolutely, without doubt, heal from it and move on from it and live “happy” lives, you’re casting a negative judgement on the people who can’t.  You’re sending a dangerous message, by insisting that, if only they tried harder, if only they worked harder, if only they did more, they would surely get better, they would surely move on.  You’re telling them their inability to do so can only be due to some failing on their part.  A weakness of will, or spirit, or strength.  A lack of effort.  You’re telling them they’re failures because they don’t conform to or adhere to your idealized view of how abuse victims are supposed to be, or your uncompromising refusal to acknowledge that some people just don’t get better from the abuse they’ve suffered.  And when these people are faced with that judgement, the only thing it’s going to accomplish is to make them feel worse about themselves than they already do.  So good job, I guess.  Ash isn’t meant to be a general representative of abuse victims.  His individual experience, and the way he carried his trauma, is unique to him, just like all victims of abuse.  Victims aren’t a monolith.  They don’t all go through the same things, they don’t all experience abuse the same way, they don’t all carry it with the same weight. 

I wrote a long analysis post about this very thing, relating to another work of fiction in which the protagonist doesn’t get better, which you can read here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cosmicjoke/666326928478830592?source=share

People who insist that a character who has been horribly abused MUST be allowed to get better, or have a happy ending at the end of a story, or the work is sending some sort of dangerous or “problematic” message need to take a step back and acknowledge that it’s really for themselves that they cling to this ridiculous and frankly unrealistic notion.  They don’t like the way it makes them feel, to acknowledge that there are people in the world who don’t recover from their abuse.  They don’t like the way it makes them feel to accept that, sometimes, YES, something someone has suffered IS too much for them to move past, or recover from.  But that’s the truth.  That’s reality.  Some people have the capacity to get better.  Others don’t.  And again, AGAIN I STRESS, an inability to get better doesn’t make you weak.  It doesn’t make you less than.  It doesn’t make you a failure.  It’s just a part of who you are.  It makes you human.  Nothing else.  And those people, the ones who don’t get better, the ones who can’t move on, or move past, deserve to be acknowledged too.

[cto10121]

Twilight Meta Review—Chapter 13

In which the Meadow Scene happens, the most iconic and infamous love scene in Twilight (and let’s face it, in modern romantic fiction). The one that made the antis whine and bitch and moan because “vAMpires don’t spARKLe!!!1!!” And most unfortunately, the one scene done the most dirty by its film adaptation. Spoilers, encore

Chapter 13: Really, Right In Front of My Salad? x1000

He lay perfectly still in the glass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn’t sleep…

Now and then, his lips would move, so fast it looked like they were trembling. But, when I asked, he told me he was singing to himself; it was too low for me to hear.

Book Edward: *lies in the grass enjoying the sun 🥰*

Movie Edward: *drags Bella, rips open shirt to expose to the sun, glittering only faintly* bELLA thIS is the SKIN of a K I L L E R

Hesitantly, always afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real…hesitantly, I reached out one finger and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay within my reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as stone. […]

I inched closer, stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of his forearm with my fingertips. I saw that my fingers trembled, and knew it wouldn’t escape his notice.

“Do you mind?” I asked, for he had closed his eyes again.

“No,” he said without opening his eyes. “You can’t imagine how that feels.” He sighed. (p. 261)

Normally me: Ugh, why all this fooling around? Just fuck already

Stephenie Meyer: *taking my hand gently* One half of a pair of lovers stroking their face and arms is superior

Me: *sobbing* One half of a pair of lovers stroking their face and arms is superior

“What are you afraid of, then?” he whispered intently.

But I couldn’t answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath on my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling.

And he was gone, his hand ripped from mine.

Bloodlust as the actual cockblock. The fuck, Meyer. How did you come up with this shit? This good shit, I mean?

“I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I? Everything about me invites you in—my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!” Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, only to appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in half a second.

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. He balanced it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.

And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.

“As if you could fight me off,” he said gently. (p. 264)

“Really, in front of my salad?” (Reprise, Triumph March, andante with Latin chorus).

But another quick word on the Twilight vampires. So despite the antis’ decades-long whinging over how awful and wimpy they are, it’s clear even at this early stage really…violent they are and can be. Sometimes even more so than regular vampires, which tend to have more weaknesses re: garlic and staking and whatnot. In most stories, they exercise some measure of control in their bloodlust. Twilight vampires are almost literally sharks. They just look pretty. And yes, they would absolute tear Buffy apart to fucking shreds.

“It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and—” He stopped abruptly, looking away. “When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn’t been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.” […]

“I couldn’t understand why. How you could hate me so quickly…”

“To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin…I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each time, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…”

Me: 😏

Also me: ho don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t you dare—

Me: BELLE EST-CE LE DIABLE QUI S’EST INCARNÉ EN ELLE

Also me: oh god

(Seriously, though, Edward is Frollo, Quasimodo, and Phoebus all in one glittery vampiric package. No wonder he is such an angsty spaz.)

“I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I’d dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl”—he grinned suddenly—“to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back…” He stared off into space.

I love Edward’s arrogance, his pride and initial dismissal of Bella—just as he should be written in this kind of story. Homeboy got badly humbled. His inability to read her mind also has a metaphorical dimension as well.

“Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment—because if I haven’t saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don’t think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, ‘Not her.’”

[…]

“Isabella.” He pronounced my full name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. A shock ran through my body at his casual touch. “Bella, I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don’t know how it’s tortured me.” He looked down, ashamed again. “The thought of you, still, white, cold…to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses…it would be unendurable.” He lifted his glorious, agonized eyes to mine. “You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.” (p. 273)

And so the immortal aristocratic asshole fell in love with the sunshine maiden the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Page 273. Out of 400 pages, more than halfway through. Meyer literally wrote a hothouse romantic suspense novel saturated with longing and buckets of sexual tension…and where the main couple haven’t even so much as kissed yet at the halfway mark. Incredible. One hundred thousand points to fucking Gryffindor. The ovaries of this woman! Too bad she lost the plot around the third and fourth book.

“You already know how I feel, of course,” I finally said. “I’m here…which, roughly translated, mean I would rather die than stay away from you.” I frowned. “I’m an idiot.”

“You are an idiot,” he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed too. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.

Book Bella and Edward: *laughing merrily at their love clownery 😅*

Movie Bella and Edward: *lie down and stare, no thoughts, heads empty*

Legit, though. Love is inherently clownish. If you don’t lose a couple of IQ points, then are you truly in love? (The answer is a resounding no).

“No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I’ll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn’t do” […]

He smiled again. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.”

Edward doing the bare minimum and not blaming Bella for his (blood)lust, i.e. the fantasy equivalent of slut shaming sadly makes him 1000x better than most YA “heroes.” Bare minimum, but it must be said.

Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even if I’d wanted to. I listened to the sound of his even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any part of him.

With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didn’t pause as they softly moved to my shoulders, and then stopped.

His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest.

Listening to my heart.

“Ah,” he sighed. (p. 276)

“Really, right in front of my salad?” (Fourth Version, andante, with the Budapest National Symphony Orchestra, soloists Bryn Terfel and Renée Fleming).

Alina and the Darkling have nothing on this. No modern YA couple or hell bodice ripper couple I know does. There is absolutely no way this can get even more fuck-y.

“Don’t move,” I whispered. […]

I moved even more slowly than he had, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the purple shadow in the hollow of his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully, his flawless lips. His lips parted under my hand, and I could feel his cool breath on my fingertips. I wanted to lean in, to inhale the scent of him. So I dropped my hand and leaned away, not wanting to push him too far.

He opened his eyes, and they were hungry. Not in a way to make me fear, but rather to tighten the muscles in the pit of my stomach and send my pulse hammering through my veins again.

…I stand very much corrected.

Anyhoo, after that non-sex sex foreplay, Edward is all happy and decides to show off his running to Bella. Homegirl got dizzy instead, but at least she got something more out of it:

“I was thinking there was something I wanted to try.” And he took my face in his hands again.

I couldn’t breathe. […]

And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.

What neither of us was prepared for was my response.

Climbing him like a fucking tree?

Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.

Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips.

Meh. Still better than what I would have done. Honestly, she has shown a lot of restraint for a teen girl who had a beautiful half-naked supernatural entity trace her face and lay his head against her breast.

In any case, it’s back to reality, and Edward insists on driving them back as Bella is clearly drunk.

“Drunk?” I objected.

“You’re intoxicated by my very presence.” He was grinning that playful smirk again.

[…]

“And are you not affected at all?” I asked, irked. “By my presence?”

Again his mobile features transformed, his expression became soft, warm. He didn’t answer at first; he simply bent his face to mine, and brushed his lips slowly along my jaw, from my ear to my chin, back and forth. I trembled.

“Regardless,” he finally murmured, “I have better reflexes.” (p. 285)

Aaaaand scene.

Des notes

Okay, pausing for some quick meta notes. So this was all great. The sexual tension was through the roof. Meyer just hit a home run with this one. Of course, this scene was the entire inspiration for the novel, its linchpin, much like the balcony scene was the linchpin in Shakespeare’s play. No surprises there.

Meyer does this cool trick of burying the romantic will-they-won’t-they and letting the vampiric will-he-won’t-he take predominance. In doing so the scene becomes charged with the eroticism, even while the scene is simply establishing whether Edward is able to resist his bloodlust for Bella. Bella and Edward expressing the first small intimacies and not letting them kiss in the meadow was nothing short of brilliant.

Some caveats. Edward is exactly as he should be…in a Beauty and the Beast narrative, which this adheres to. He has shades of Mr. Darcy, obviously, playing to Isabella’s Elizabeth, but that is really a very distant echo of the dynamic. Not a problem at this point—Edward still has some ways to go and Bella also needs to glow up too. This will come in time.

However, the mutuality and uncompromising nature of their love, as well as the fervor and the longing and sensuality, is clearly a different dynamic altogether. (R&J: *popping up with a bored wave*). Edward and Bella’s unequal relationship, thus, becomes a clear problem—either to overcome or for the lovers to succumb to their doom. There is a strain of tragedy that Meyer could have followed had she not succumbed to her indulgences. A tragic ending, however, could have its own problems too—it’s really hard to tell. I suppose Meyer deciding to go the coming-of-age route was as okay an artistic decision as any other.