#bitch i have scoliosis
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mournograph · 12 days ago
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All of man's potions have failed to deaden
the agony of a spine failing with every step
(bastard sapling)
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deadaccount1253 · 1 year ago
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loud-whistling-yes · 2 months ago
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You ever just do something and know deep down in your soul that tomorrow's gonna be the World's Shittiest Very Bad No Good Pain Day
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bluenotemagpie · 7 months ago
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i have been here for [redacted] years on this bitch of an earth and it only just occurred to me that the reason my one shoulder is ALWAYS higher than the other when I do a body scan thing, whether for yoga or meditation, is because my fucking spine is diagnosed as Not Straight. "I can never get this knot out of my shoulder to get it to relax" that's not a knot girl that's your fucking bones
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melekinh · 25 days ago
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Man I got the disgusting misogynist/transphobe I work with fired bc we got a new manager who finally took the sexual harassment accusations seriously BUT that meant we had no guy to work warehouse. So I’ve been having to stay longer all week and load people up with tile myself.
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persimmontartkisses · 9 months ago
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Ahh, another beautiful morning. Allow me to stretch
My back:
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thekidsarentalright · 11 months ago
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pretty sure i threw my back out giving my stepdad a high five earlier 😭 i’m 19 yrs old in the body of an old man fr
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quirkle2 · 1 year ago
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vacuumed for two (2) minutes. my spine: screaming. ihave to lie down
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greenieflor · 1 year ago
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Woke up early as fuck again and im mad abt scoliosis
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aweirdbugcreature · 1 year ago
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Guys, I know I joked that I'm so gay, I can't sit straight...
But it is not a joke anymore. Lmao.
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sunnywalnut · 5 months ago
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People can't even handle femme presenting afab folks using exclusively they/them pronouns and wanting to be called someone's girlfriend.
What makes you think you can handle the gendervoid goobers that use it/it's while working an office job?
Oh you meant... You meant the ACCEPTABLE quickly pixie dream girl type of queers.... Ah.... Um. Sorry dude. We're fresh out.
All we got is this short trans dude who makes paper flowers every Valentine's Day and refuses to bind because it hurts his ribs.
Oh. Oh goodness. Okay so uh. Sadly. We don't carry the fictional customizable gays either. No, we never have. This is real life. Fuck you.
I actually really hate how the "just call me a slur" joke went from being a critique of rainbow capitalism and faux inclusionism to being a way to make fun of nonbinary and aspec ppl literally just. having language.
"Joyfriend? Queerplatonic? Erm.. literally just call me a slur XD" shut the fuck upppp goddamn
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flamingthespian · 10 months ago
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Dear 18 year old homophobic bitch at work,
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mntalbrakdown · 1 year ago
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doin’ time - C. Fisher
masterlist!
mentions of: cussing, makeouts, smut… 18+ MDNI. fem receiving (fingering), cum play, piv unprotected (wrap b4 u tap)
synopsis: at the empty house party you play a quick game of cat and mouse with conrad
wc: 3.5k
a/n: i haven’t proofread this yet
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gif from @thatonekimgirl
the purple pink and blue strobe lights that Conrad, Belly, and Jeremiah bought at Paty City made you look like you were glowing. the party was 70's theme and you were dressed in a lime green mini dress with gogo boots, you teased your hair to have a bump paired with a white headband. you had a graphic black liner and you felt beautiful. you were with Cam at the dj booth. you and Cam have always been close, you guys were touchy, but you never liked him, nor did he to you. in fact he told you about his feelings for Skye which you applauded to because you wanted him to be happy.
"can you guys play" Jumper the one who allowed Belly to buy the liquor started his sentence. which was cut off when Skye pointed at the "fuck the requests" sign they made
"sorry the sign speaks" you say sitting next to Cam at a random table
"but" Jumper continues
"respect the playlist" Cam cuts Jumper off with that he walks away from his attempt
"Steven curated this playlist with great intent" Skye says making it sound like a great medicine that could cure all diseases
"to make boys get bitches" you say jokingly which was true you saw four guys within 30 minutes pull a girl upstairs
"rest in peace to their backs" Cam jokes since there were no beds in the house to have sex comfortably with
"so how are you and Conrad" Skye asks you
"what do you mean" it was out of the blue, you didn't know what they were talking about
"y/n you can't be that clueless" Cam pokes at you making you squirm
"i seriously don't know what your guys' game is right now" you say searching their eyes
"he so very obviously likes you" Skye says
"you have some nerve Skye" you say mocking them since they are also in a similar situation with Cam
"what does that mean" Cam asks
"nothing" Skye and you say in unison
"all im saying is that man is smitten with you" Skye says making Cam nod his head in agreement
"yeah right since when" you say taking a sip from your coke
"since you and I got close last summer, he got really stiff and would clench his jaw when we would hold each others hand or even when i had my hand around your waist, his whole mood would switch" Cam says pointing all the times Conrad has been tense
"all those times Belly would walk into the room" you rebuttal Cam’s so very wrong analysis.
"ehhh wrong" both Cam and Skye said in the same time making you laugh at how alike they are
"i've ran tests and experiments, that man always sits next to you and looks for your vote in a decision," Skye says
"fuck you both" you say flipping them off
"time and place" Cam says at lightning speed
"i don't want to get scoliosis" you mock the previous joke you said before
"don't think that's how it works" Skye retorts but nonetheless they laughed as well
"hey y/n let's get a picture" Steven says pulling you away from the two others as Conrad was hiding behind him
"yeah sure" you say hopping off the table saying you'll be right back to the others
as you were following the two boys through the groups of sweaty highlighter bodies you were almost lost and by each step the gap between you and Conrad grew bigger. he looked right behind and saw what was happening. he extended his hand out so the gap would close and you grabbed on. you walked until you were at the bottoms steps of the staircase. surprisingly there was nobody there
"ok stand right there" Steven says as he was looking through the polaroid lens
"did you set this up" you whisper in Conrad's ears as you tiptoe
"no" he says flustered
"he's lying" Steven says making you shocked by his good hearing
"good" you say as you smile wide for the camera as you try your hardest to give Conrad bunny ears. you wait for the flash but Steven takes his time. you could feel Conrad's eyes on you. as well as his arm snake around your waist. were they right? did Conrad really like you? as you get out of your own head you finally get the bright white flash from the camera making this go by faster
"let me see" Conrad says as if he was out of his spell and going over to Steven to see the photo, but the thing about Polaroids is that you have to wait a moment to see the photo develop
"stay with me" Conrad says grabbing you by the waist to take you to the bottom of the stairs and sit
"ok" it wasn't like he asked you to stay it was a demand and you weren't mad about it
"I'm going to find Taylor" Steven says as he walks away
"wear a condom" you scream
"fuck off" Steven screams back
"so how are you and Cam" Conrad asks through gritted teeth
"he's good, going to see if Skye already asks him out" you say trying to slide the fact that you and Cam aren't dating
"oh, I thought you two were a thing" Conrad says trying his hardest to bite back his smile
"no, we're just really close" you say meeting his blue eyes that were now dark with a glint in his eye
"cool" he says not knowing what else to say
"cooool" you say not knowing how to carry the conversation
"yeah" was the only thing muttered from Conrad
"why cool" you say trying to see his thought process
"cool in the fact i spent all of last summer wasting my time with Nicole, no offense to her she's cool, just wanted to talk to you" he says searching your eyes to see if he struck a nerve
"you're cute, dumb and oblivious, but cute" you say as your hand goes to his hair and push it to his ear, making him almost pur to your touch
"i'm the oblivious one" he says in a confused and questionable way
"yes, I'm the one talking to you" you say in the same tone
"you clearly never looked my way" he says pointing at your chest
"bullshit" you say leaning against the railing
"everyone else picked up on it" Conrad says
"ok fine, i was the oblivious one" you say surrounding "give me the photo" you say as enough time has passed so it would be devloped
"what would you give me if i do" Conrad whispered lustfully which caught you off guard
"pfft nothing" you says as you extend your arm to get the photo from his other side
"than no" he says grabbing the photo and extending his arm backwards so you couldn't reach it
"fuck your long arms" you say climbing over his lap and trying to grab the photo which made your boobs hit his face making him kiss them "oh shit my bad" you say retracting back to your previous seat
"no" Conrad says wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you on his lap
"oh" you say as you see Conrad lean in for a kiss and you go in, letting all your muscles relax and allow you to really enjoy this kiss, both your hands on each side of Conrad's face as his are trained on your waist and tangled in your hair
"i really like you" he says pulling away from the kiss to look up at your face seeing how swollen your lips have already gotten
"good, because i like you too" you say smiling at the fact some of your pink lipgloss got on his lips "let me see the photo" you says looking deep into Conrad's eyes as he hands the photo to you
it was you the highest you could possibly go on your tiptoes to give Conrad the bunny ears, but even than you could barely see your fingers. your face was looking straight at the camera with the most derpiest smile you could plaster on. he on the other hand was looking deep into you, he wanted to savor the moment of how you looked while someone takes a picture of you, no one ever does that, their main priority was to look at the lens. and even now as you look deep into the photo and analyze it. Conrad is looking at you seeing how you take something as small as a picture and critique it
"why are you looking at me in this" you say flipping the photo to him
"i don't know" he says, but he was obvlously lying, you could tell he was lying when he says those three words
"you're a liar" you say as you go in for a quick kiss which makes Conrad excited, but you quickly pull away
"booo" he says like a seven year
"not until you tell me the truth" you say looking deep into his eyes as he eyes your lips to make sure he catches everything over the loud music and also because he wants to continue kissing you
"i never get to be that close to you and i really liked you and thought you were dating Cam so I had to take advantage of my time with you" he blurts everything out ready to kiss you again
"awe" you say clapping both of your hands to your face making Conrad pull you into a kiss by grabbing you by the back of your head
"get a fucking room" Jeremiah says to the both of you
"we'll take yours asshole" Conrad says jokingly
"ewww gross" he says walking down the hall
"do you want to" Conrad says trying not to push anything, but he did really want you, but he wouldn't say anything because he didn't want to sway your vote
"umm sure" you say putting a piece of hair behind your ear
“here follow me” Conrad says as he carrie’s you off his lap so you could stand and than he got up.
he grabbed your hand in his and led you up the stairs. you were close with Belly so you knew enough about the house layout. but it was all empty now so it felt odd and anything but a home. it was just a house now. his room was empty. you tried to picture having a good comfortable time but you couldn’t. he could see the expression all written on your face.
“we could use a floaty” he says scratching the back of his head
“and pop it” you laugh thinking of the idea of doing it only to pop it in the middle of it
“i want it to be nice” he says trying not to have just a hookup. he really liked you. he wanted this night to be special. he finally got his girl
“it could be nice another day, hooking up at a party is already so unclassy” you say pulling him for a kiss
“ok but than where” he says in between your kiss
“what about the bathroom” it was the only place that could be remotely nice
“ok follow me” he says kissing you once last time on your gore head, lips, and lastly neck
Conrad grabbed your hand and took you down the hall to the bathroom. surprising it wasn’t busy. when you opened the door Conrad immediately locked the door. after he instantly cornered you at a wall so you couldn’t leave him. which you weren’t planning on it either way
“hey” Conrad said leaning his forehead on yours
“hi” you say leaning in to kiss him. leaned in for a kiss. it was deep and passionate. you felt yourself relax. your shoulders fell down as your hands followed his face to his jaw and let them stay there. as Conrad was deepening the kiss you let out a slight moan. it was music to Conrad’s ears. he wanted to hear more. he was hungry to hear more.
“i need you” Conrad pulls away from you with blissed out eyes
“fuck- me too” you say as Conrad picks you up and sits you at the sink
he lifted your dress up to reveal your dark red laced thong. he felt himself snap. he needed you. he needed to be inside you.
as he pulled the thong all the way down. “god you’re so wet” he puts the red lace in his pocket for ‘safe keeping’
he licked his two fingers as lubricant and started to finger you. you followed his fingers as they disappeared and reappeared. sucking on your bottom lip to not draw attention to the bathroom. even though no one could hear you over the loud music.
“look at me when i’m fucking you” Conrad demanded. he wanted to see how your face contoured at his actions. making him feel good inside
if he could he would do this to you all day. he’s been dreaming about this ever since he could remember. he continued with his action. adding fingers as he goes. as he did you gasped into his forearm almost drawing blood with your red nails. Conrad was circling your clit with his other hand to speed the processes up. he needed you.
“Conrad” you whispered lowly and it snapped. Conrad and you. with the white liquid falling down his hand.
“god i need you” as he licks his fingers clean and leaning down to kiss you, tasting yourself
“you’re all i need” you say with fucked out eyes
Conrad unbuttoned his pants, dropping everything with it. making you take his shirt off. leaving him exposed. you opened your legs wider for him.
“fuck” Conrad leans in to kiss you biting your bottom lip as he pulls away “i don’t have a condom” he says flatly
“it’s fine, i’m on the pill” you say as you get the cum spilling from you and rubbing it on Conrad to lubricat him.
“i need to feel you” Conrad says desperately as he pushes inside you. kissing you to hide your moans.
he was huge. you don’t know what you were expecting but he was stretching you in the best way possible. the whole time knowing Conrad you never ever thought about his size. as he entered inside you, you leaned against the mirror and exposing your neck. moaning loudly to the way Conrad is making you feel giving him a confidence boost. as he continued his actions you would look down because you liked the view and every time Conrad lifted your head to see him. and when he did you moaned because he was the one fucking your cunt.
“let me hear you” Conrad whispered in your ear
“fuck Connie” you say grabbing Conrad and making out with him
something about you being fucked in retro clothes. and how Conrad liked the dress because he could see your boobs which allowed him to leave hickeys down your chest as a manrepelent. that he is the one for you and only you. you tugged on his hair to make him moan, which led to him kissing you deeply, hitting a new spot
“y/n you need to take a picture with me and Taylor” Belly says loudly through the door
“mm- yeah on it just doing some-e touch ups” you struggle to speak because Conrad just kept going deeper and circling your clit trying to make you mess up
as you heard the steps walk away you let out a loud moan which you weren’t expecting. the white substance running down your legs as Conrad just looks amazed at you.
“that was so hot” Conrad says hiding his face into your neck leaving new hickeys to decorate your body in the morning “turn around” Conrad demanded
“but-“
“please it’ll be quick”
and so you did. you didn’t know why but you trusted him with everything you had inside of you. maybe because you knew him amongst all your life, but either way he was making you feel so good today.
he turned you around so your face was looking at the mirror. it was fogged up from the steam coming from the both of you. Conrad aligned himself again going deeper and faster keeping the same pace he liked how your face would come close to the mirror almost hitting it. your eyes were watering and you were trying not to let them stream and ruin your makeup, but he just kept going
your hair was all sorts of tangled. your eyeliner and masacra running and your lipstick was smudged. your boobs were spilling out from the top of the dress as Conrad kept pounding inside of you.
“you look so fucking hot” Conrad says looking at you from the mirror
“yeah” you say half moan half question
“fuck yeah” Conrad affirmed
“take a picture” you say grabbing his phone from the counter and putting it on selfie mode. letting both you and Conrad in the photo as you but your lip and he concentrates on making you feel good
“fuck that was hot” he says as you put it in his hidden photos
you would look at his face from the mirror he was so focused on pleasuring you. and than another moment he would make eye contact with you through the mirror. his naked body heaving from the lost of air.
he leaned down to where your ear was nibbling at it and licking it to add more stimulus and make you come which was successful. you grasped into the sink so hard that you thought you would break it and moaned so loud that Conrad made you face him and kiss him to suppress the noise. because even though he liked hearing you, that was loud enough to hear over the music and didn’t want to stop the fun
“Conrad-” you say clenching on Conrad’s shaft
your stomach was tightening for the third time this night. you felt your body come to a stop, everything inside you started to tighten. you were sure your mascara was running
Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you ramble. He speeds his movements, knowing you’re close
“You’re so beautiful.” he thought. The way your head is titled back, your mouth wide open. He loves the way your eyes were screwed shut in pleasure. He couldn’t help but smile, not being able to stop admiring you.
He watches your face as you unravel, feeling him come close behind. “Ohmygod, fuck. Conrad, please,” you begin to pull away from him and look forward, the overstimulation almost painful. you came so hard tipping Conrad over the edge and following behind.
as he pulls out you felt the cold air hit you and you arched your back, Conrad looks at the sight and wishes he could take a picture. he uses his fingers to push the cum in.
“what are you doing” you ask standing straight but losing your balance
“i want you to walk around with my cum inside you” Conrad says leaning in to kiss you
“you’re so annoying” you say turning around to the fogged you mirror and cleaning it with your hand. fixing your eyes and smudged lips.
“i’m keeping these” Conrad pulls your underwear from his pocket
“no!” you yelp running to grab them but breaking your ankles
“did i do i that” Conrad asks at your lose of walking skills
“shut up” you say walking slowly to the door and walking away struggling
“two new photos today” he says referring back to the polaroid and the explicit version
“only for you” you say fixing your dress down your body as you take your shoes off to be able to walk a little better
“what now” Conrad asked
“i’m tired let me lay with you” you say wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss you
“ok” he says with a polite smile
you didn’t really understand how he could destroy you one moment and than the nicest person in the world. a person who would want to give you the world. and you enjoyed it. it kept you on your toes.
you quickly run to his room to make sure one one else could see your state of fucked up appearance. but your plan failed as Conrad quickly swooped you taking you in for a quick kiss making you smile.
“i have some extra clothes if you want” he asks pulling them out to you
“ooo give me” you say changing quickly in the corner of his room
“you’re funny” he says laughing laying down on his blanket and pillow
“what why” you say putting the shirt over your head and walking back to him
“you were all about yourself a second ago and than now you’re all shy” he says poking you
“oh shut up” you say moving your body so your back faced him
“make me” he says towering over your face so he could be kissed by you
a/n: i take requests!
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euphoric-ghoul · 4 months ago
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I think c!tommy had scoliosis btw, he would complain about it ALLL THE TIME and I assume they didn't have chiropractic care in l'manburg so there wasn't any temp fix to it... he 100% BITCHED AND MOANED about his back 24/7 and probably even worse so after exile, imagine how much c!dream probably fucked up his back..
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jsmith1912 · 7 months ago
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JERRY IT'S ME SCOLIOSIS RICK FROM THE DIMENSION WHERE I HAVE SCOLIOSIS. LISTEN, MY DIMENSION'S JERRY USED TO PUT CAT FOOD OUT FOR ME EACH NIGHT BUT MY BITCH DAUGHTER BETH SAID HE CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE BECAUSE I SOLD HER SON TO ORGAN HARVESTERS AND TRIED TO REPLACE HIM WITH A COSMIC HORROR ENTITY. AND THEY KICKED ME OUT FOREVER. I WANT MY CAT FOOD, JERRY. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO PROVIDE IT NOW. I DEMAND ONE LARGE BAG OF WHISKAS(TM) SEAFOOD COLLECTIONS EACH WEEK OR THE ORGAN HARVESTERS WILL COME FOR YOUR SON NEXT.
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JESUS CHRIST! WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN ALL CAPS!? IT'S MAKING ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS! THEY ONLY HAVE THE MEDIUM SEAFOOD SELECTION BAGS AT THE STORE, OH GOD-
I GUESS I CAN BUY TWO OF THOSE??? Is... Is that good enough for you? If not you can take one of his lungs- he has two of those!!
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sexygaywizard · 1 year ago
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If I could say anything to my childhood self I would say bitch you have scoliosis go get diagnosed so you can get a correctional corset or get back surgery or something quick before it's too late it's gonna save me so much back pain AND you'll be 2 inches taller
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