#bitch I fucking married and also simped for this man

[luvlynessii]

⋆୨୧˚Bill Dickey Marriage Headcanons⋆୨୧˚

Hi! :3 so nobody asked for this LOL but I've been so hyper fixated on the Eltingville Club that I NEED to write out some of the ideas flooding my mind. So...I hope you guys enjoy! if not feel free to replace my hands with pig feet :3.

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Marriage was a topic that you and bill constantly argued about and had screaming matches over. It almost led to breaking up a few times, but because the man is aware no other woman wants him, he reluctantly agreed. (It was that or he died alone and got no action....except from his right hand)

"For fuck's sake, fine!, If it'll finally shut your annoying ass up! we'll do the whole white wedding shit—the church bells will be ringing so loud the whole fucken town will know your dumb ass is getting married!"

He either bought you the cheapest ring he could find or straight up just stole it (Depends on if he had any money left from conning people or if he used it to buy more comics)

proposed to you in his mom's basement the day after you guys argued to "get it over with". No romantic date, no kneeling, he just handed you the box and said begrudgingly "will you...marry me?" It turned into a heated argument which lead to you demanding he do it properly. Though of course he threw a fit. "Who do you think you are bitch?! Demanding shit from me! why do I gotta act like every other pussy whipped loser and bend to your will like some pansy! I'd rather die!"

He ended up redoing the proposal a few days later. While out on a date (that you set up and paid for) he did the whole nine yards and asked you to marry him. The whole time he had a scowl on his face (But you didn't care and eagerly said yes)

He didn't lift a finger to help plan for the wedding. In his own words "it wasn't my idea in the first place!, so stop expectin' me to do shit!"

He also refused to pay for anything (was really just a cover up because he doesn't have any money to begin with...the last of it was either spent on the ring or buying more collectibles)

Any attempt to ask for his opinion during wedding planning was met with a dismissive grunt or a mumbled, "Its whatever the hell you want"

When he did have something to say though it was demanding things like one of the cake toppers be a custom mold of him as superman sweeping you off your feet (literally this shit just replace the head with his) or that he get a carefully tailored suit inspired by bruce Wayne (you began to wonder wether you were the bride or he was)

He complained about having to clean himself up and shave. Whining about how dumb it is to put in this much effort for one day. Admittedly he found himself looking quite dashing when he finally got himself put together (you caught bill checking himself out in the mirror)

Tried to convince you to wear a super skimpy dress he saw in one of his Avengers comics. Raved about how hot you'd look. (you obviously said no)

Not many people approved of your marriage to Bill (understandably) so aside from a handful of close friends and relatives, only Bill's mom showed up from his side. Jane didn't come for obvious reasons....

𐙚Fluff 𐙚

He didn't want to look like a simp so he tried to act nonchalant and aloof while he waited for you at the alter. But the moment he saw you walking down the aisle he crumbled. The way his face turned a bright and his jaw dropped was priceless.

His wedding vows were a just a variation of the green lantern oath "In brightest day, in blackest night, Our love shall burn bright. Let those who'd rather show us spite, Beware our love, this union's might!" (it was stupid, but the way he said it with such conviction made your heart melt. This was probably the most effort you've seen from him anyways)

When it was time for you to say your very heartfelt vows, Bill visibly softened (no matter how hard he tried to hide it) he looked away nervously during most of it while fidgeting with his suit cuffs. But as you finished up and he caught your loving gaze it was if time stopped. For the first time he felt something other than anger and you could see it. Love?—he'd never admit it, but you knew)

Once it was time for Bill to kiss you, he leaned in slightly and awkwardly, while sort of waiting for you to come to him. (He wasn't too big into the PDA thing, let alone this). You on the other hand pounced on top of him, pulling him into a passionate kiss. Almost knocking him down to the floor (He was about to yell at you in front of everyone for it, but before he knew it he was melting into your kiss)

During the reception he didn't really mingle with people like you did. Opting to stuff his face with food and drinks, while he kept an arm wrapped tightly around your waist making sure you stayed close.

Bill fed you forkfuls of food from his plate when he realized you weren't eating with him since you were too busy talking to people "Are you gonna eat or what? I don't want to have to hear you bitchin later because you didn't eat" Despite his harsh words, he gently held a hand under the fork as he fed you to ensure nothing got on your dress (this had you swooning like a schoolgirl)

Bill had no sense of direction when it came to your guys first dance. It was apparent (if you hadn't already known) he had never danced a day in his life. He constantly was stepping on your dress and almost fell over you. He looked like he was about to crash out, before you gently coaxed him into relaxing and following your steps. All the while you stared lovingly into his dark brown eyes. (He would complain after about how dumb you made him look, but the tone in his voice lacked any of it's usual edge)

He had to hold back smashing your face into the wedding cake (He knew you wouldn't give it up later in bed if he did) at the same time though, he couldn't bring himself to actually do that. You looked too beautiful. So instead he opted for playfully dabbing frosting on your nose. He blushed when your face scrunched up into a giggly grin when you fed each other the first slice.

In most of your wedding pictures Bill has his usual RBF on. Except for the one's where you're kissing him, whether it be on the lips or the cheek, he has a big smirk on his face. Your favorite one (which is currently hanging in your home's living room) is one where Bill is covered in your lipstick kisses and has a big toothy smile on his face, while you hug him tightly from the side. (this was one of the rare moments you actually saw bill smile. You treasured it forever)

Throughout the duration of the reception Bill got quite drunk, which caused him to be more openly love dovey. He was all over you, touching you wherever he could and kissing you almost feverishly (you certainly didn't mind it but you were still in the company of friends and family) but any half hearted attempts to get him to stop, fell on deaf ears. "What? a man can't show his appreciation to his wife?...don't forget who's last name you have~"

Started calling you cringey pet names like "My beautiful elven bride..." "My goddess..." he even started quoting movies at some point, some of which you could make out were from Star Trek. But his speech became so slurred you couldn't make it out anymore. (you ate up his antics though hehe <3)

Part of the reason he gave in to getting married was also because the idea of you being Mrs. Dickey sparked something in him. The fact that having that title alone meant no other man could touch you, let alone approach you, it made him feel protective over you. you belonged to him and him alone.

Even though he'll never say it out loud, getting married wasn't as horrible as he made it out to be. Especially since it was to you...

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿

*sorry for any grammatical errors and stuff like that I'm still getting used to posting on here! (￣▽￣*)ゞ

[lagncx]

Lord HEISEINBERG head canon

Neil newbon bless him and the amazing work he’s done. Says he leaves his characters open for us to make head canons well here’s mine!

——-

So like the little simp I am I go and get karls bonus figure and I also get the mutated one cause I think it’s cool. I’m over here like mmmm he’s so sexy “oh he’s so hawt” he listens to asmr with people hitting frequency metal bowls >///<

But nothing could take me from the reality that his mutation form (I would still impregnate him idc) is huge and hideous (nuh uh) and he literally has a dislocated jaw and a wire mustache that’s a crazy rebellion weapon but anyways! Rip to the metal army btw when we run from strum and fall in that trash chute I feel in my heart and my belly! He sleeps there In mutated form and if you were his significant other he’d probably be like “I uh- made this room for you” and for weeks you’d wake up with him gone late at night but you were just cuddling so you go looking and strum the lil guy just kinda stomps towards the chute and waves his little nubs down there cause you ordered to know where your iron giant was and there he was in…all…ALL his glory snoring and you weren’t sure if this was moldy metal or a being but then you saw the face and the mustache/beard(?) gave it away and you kissed strum’s engine hopping down and falling on luckily a flat board making him shake and the sound of metal groaning as he got up and his head snaked it’s way over to look at you your face was looking at him like

So he thought you were disgusted and I know he can use his words but imma say he can’t and can only groan so he kinda just hides away cause in my mind he can’t change back so quickly but poor baby was showing his true self this monster he didn’t even CHOOSE TO BE!!! FUCKING MIRANDA HURTING MH FUCKING BABY HIM AND SALVATORE AND ALCINA AND DONNA FUCKING DONNA THAT BITCH! AND ETHAN! (Sorry.) so you kinda just climb over this hazard space cutting yourself a few times but you’re no bitch and your right next to his face (I’m literally looking at his form as we speak on my tv) and you hesitantly give it a small kiss and for you it’s like a weird gooey taste but for Karl he tastes love! Woo! You’re not afraid of him !!! And for him that meant so much he knew he’d marry you, give you kids. HAVE YOUR KIDS anything! Open a jar of pickles…have you open the jar of pickles. Both of you not being able to so you both decide to just break it and eat pickles picking off any small shards of glass and kiss after with hot pickle breath. But this damn hazard place was freezing so you kinda looked around shaking and your face was like

So Karl kinda has this fuckass engine that heats him up so you kinda scoot closer that nasty ass goo (if you look closely at the figure the cadou…cado…fuck it. It’s moving. So after like an hour of silence and many questions you stick your hand in his separated jaw and for some fucking reason there’s a fuck ass spinning blades thing like a blender and you scream cause you get knicked but he kinda shakes in a way that he’s laughing. And you roll your eyes. Did you sleep down there? HE HE HELL NAH! But you didn’t like sleeping alone so you did cause you brought the mattress down (by yourself! Ducking soldats only got up for threats they kinda just watch you struggle.) and you laid on that wack mattress with a tiny blanket and you forgot the fucking pillow but it ok cause Karl kept breathing on you so that engine output had to come out somewhere SO YEA HES A HEATER TOO! erm…this is so silly and stupid. Karl when you like his form (you never said you liked it but hey you don’t hate it):

A song that fits this….hm. Oh yea swv use your heart

-Use your heart, and not your EYES- you gotta use your heart to love this man I mean his human form looks a little dirty but he is truly beautiful. In mutation and out

[pboogerswbb]

Chapter 7 - DIABOLICAL EDGING

I am soooo happy you are back, it must feel SO good to have your applications out of the way. Good luck!

Wow can't believe the chapter didn't start with Kiran's funeral

I agree with Paige, the weeknd is unbearable when you are horny as fuck

"Slightly hesitantly, the blonde brings my hands up to her mouth and presses a soft kiss to both of them, eyes fluttering shut." -> d'awwwwwwwww what a simp -“Can I come over to yours please?” -> see I knew immediately they were going to get interrupted because this was too good to be true!

“I’m serious. Just sex.” -> But you liiiiiiiike like her!

“Izara, I mean it. Whatever you want me to be I’mma be okay?” -> cough cough P would marry her tonight if thats what she wanted lets be real -“Take me to bed,” I tell the younger girl, who picks me up with ease as my legs wrap around her torso. -> NOW WERE COOKIN WITH GAS

“Would you like it off?” I ask, chest heaving. “Yes. Please.” -> wow so polite, Zari is rubbing off on her. literally.

"There they are. By my doorstep. KK, Ice, Azzi, Jana and Ash" -> PUSSY BLOCKING BITCHES (but also awwww they came to support their girl)

“Paige’s lamp! Mine broke, so. Couldn’t see to read my book.” -> Girl, please.

“Why are you girls all- Oh hi, don’t you have practice?” He asks, holding a cake. -> BOBBY B! THE ORIGINAL BDB

"My dad’s eyes land on Izzie, flickering between me and her" -> Bobby is like ya, she her daddys son

"I feel her shift, the curve of her ass pressing against me as I allow my lips to press soft kisses onto her golden skin." -> you write these hot moments f tension o well

“Gonna eat that pussy so good ma, gonna have you crying-” “Yooo…” -> KK secretly taking notes

“Dallas changed you already ‘cause why you care about a rug more than me?” -> Nah her neat freak fuck buddy changed her KK

-Ok this Jasper flashback was really upsetting I don't even want to comment 😤😔

Panic Attack Paige makes me feel sad :(

“I’m so fucking scared Iz,” she admits, lower lip quivering. My heart fills with affection, and instinctively I wrap my arms around her broad, bare shoulders in her sports bra." -> currently collecting bets on how long this 'just friends' thing will last when they are already HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE

“Need to feel this pussy around my fingers.” -> dear god woman this is so hot

“Please mama, need to make you cum, that’s all I want.” -> Zari doesn't have a problem with the nicknames when she's about to get fucked I guess

This was so unlike me, spread out in overhead lighting in a room anyone could walk into at any moment with a girl I hadn’t even been out on a date with. -> Bitch youre the one who doesn't wanna go on a date!

"I needed Paige Bueckers to fuck me now." -> same girl same

“What do you need? Tell me baby,” -> OMG JUST DO IT YOU TEASE

I was in heaven, surely sex never felt like this before. Only with her. -> wow thats all it took? she didn't even pump them yet. Zari is a down bad lesbian.

“Oh fuck you’re so tight,” Paige hisses, beginning to curl her fingers against me. -> this is fucking hot.

I KNEW TREY WAS TROUBLE THE SECOND WE MET HIM

“Uh,” she murmurs, fingers still glistening with me before she wipes them on her thigh. “We uh,” -> hehehehe -“By the way Zari, we shouldn’t let anyone back here that isn’t part of the team, okay? Linda would freak.” -> SHUT UP YOU SNAKE

“Wish me luck ma,” she murmurs, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a hug. I let her. -> OK now you gotta be a little more discreet than this come on now

"“Is there something going on with you and Paige?” -> how about its none of your damn business buddy?

"“Yeah, I didn’t mean for there to be but I like her. She likes me,” I admit, carefully looking at the man. “Look, it’s nothing though. Nothing serious, just fun.”" -> Zari are you dumb why would you admit this to a coworker?

"“Zari, Linda is very… strict. You know this. But she does not allow anything like this, she must’ve told you? She gave me this big speech too when I came in.”" -> Lets not make this about Linda you turd

"I had to end it." -> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This hit like crack so happy youre back! 🦫

ILY TYSM YOU’RE MY FAVE IN THE WORLD

every comment you made about bob had me CRACKING UP not you calling him the og BDB 😭😭😭 also real bobby b <333

wanna update so it goes asap for youuuu i’m so happy to be writing 🩷🩷🩷

[oneforthemunny]

Was inspired by a blurb by another blog ( @indouloureux ) about Eddie helping a reader with this scenario and thought it was entertaining: How each Eddie would respond to asking for help about struggling to pull your tampon out.

Modern!Eddie is an absolute simp and does not let her get embarrassed about anything and annoyingly says “It would be my honor🫡”

Mafia!Eddie is unfazed, man has seen more blood than he’d like to admit, but is lightly scolding you for not being careful, “Oh Kitten, need daddy’s help always.”

Older!Eddie is confused as to why you’re asking him, “Bunny, you know I’d do it, but my eyesight is terrible and I’d probably make it worse.”

Cowboy!Eddie would do it with just a small chuckle, “You’re one of a kind, sugar. Let’s get you sorted out.”

Dom!Eddie is slightly weirded out, not because it’s a period or vagina, but that something made for half the population is that tricky to use. “You’d think these scientists would figure something out for once, but noooo.”

Bartender!Eddie would help after you’d explain to him for five minutes that, yes, a tampon can get stuck and that it’s not an indicator of the size of your vagina, “Listen babe, you’re tight as fuck, that’s probably why- Okay fine do you have a better answer?”

Rockstar!Eddie would do it, but him and Nepotism Baby are married with multiple of the girls, so he is laughing. He pretends to think about it for a few minutes while she’s standing in the bathroom doorway mad as ever.

omfg this is a nightmare scenario but also so funny.

modern!eddie is on it!! you're freaking out and he's like "I got you" tries to get her to relax so he can get in there. "baby, I'll get it out, ok? just calm down. you're too tight." all sweet and coaxing. he gets it out eventually.

janitor!eddie would be similar, but she's so embarrassed to ask him. he hears her grunting and crying out in pain in the bathroom, so he's like??? you good?? and you're like frustrated and sobbing and hormonal, and he comes in to see you, foot on the counter mirror in one hand and tweezers in the other. "my tampon got stuck!!!" you wail, and he's ready to go. soothing and shushing so you'll relax, kneels down under you and gets it out.

mafia!eddie would be so unfazed by blood tbh. he's more effected by the hormones of a period than blood, doesn't think it's gross or whatever lame guys say. you get it stuck, and you're in the bath trying to like waterboard, flush it out and he's like??? here, let me. you're like "ed! be careful! don't push it back more!" and he's like I got it. pulls it out easily, like a bullet lol.

older!eddie bless him he's gotta put his readers on bc he can't see shit. wearing one of those headband type things with a light and his bifocals while you're just spread eagle in front of him.

cowboy!eddie is like.... what? not that he's like grossed out like he knows what a period is and it's natural, but he's horrified that... tampons get stuck??? they break???? he's sick at the thought of that. but he'd help you out. he's been inside animals before, unfortunately, so it's nothing he's not used to lmao.

dom!eddie would be in awe about 1) how far they had to go up your cooch 2) it broke?? like you would think they wouldn't want those things to break what the fuck. he's ranting the whole time. "whoever did this should be fucking guillotined because why would you make a shitty- I'm sorry sweetheart, I've almost got it- why would you-" "ed! shut up!" you grit, tears in your eyes. it feels much different that when he's normally inside of you.

bouncer!eddie has you hovering over his face so he can see in and try to get it out. "too tight, baby, I told you. got a grip reaper and look-" "eddie, shut the fuck up. that has nothing to do with this."

rockstar!eddie if it happened pre-babies would be disgusted. he would be gagging and she'd be bitching him out left and right, because he's being a fucking baby. then if it happened post babies and after they were married, he'd be cackling. probably say something gross like "and people wonder if you're still tight after six kids. gonna start telling them about this." "edward, I will fucking kill you. don't you dare tell anyone."

[madraleen]

Moriarty the Patriot - Ryōsuke Takeuchi & Hikaru Miyoshi Chapters 65-76 : A heavily ship-oriented commentary.

-louis thanking william for choosing to live, he's so sweet

-aw lil louis hugging his brother

-the three brothers are together again :')

-i don't recall seeing louis this peaceful ever before, as now that william and albert are returned

-i feel like i'm reading a prolonged happy epilogue and i'm alright with that

-why is albert's and mycroft's reunion so soft omg

-erm? bond/mrs hudson, y/y? THIS IS SO WHOLESOME I SHIP IT

-THE CLOSE-UP ON SHERLOCK'S EYES AS WILL WALKS INTO THE ROOM, WTH! groom meet groom

-i love smiling william. i really do love smiling william, i smile along with him

-ah, sunshine billy!

-louis pretty much loves everyone on this dinner for helping his brother

-AHAHA BILLY IS ONTO YOU, SHERLOCK, HE KNOWS YOU DOTE ON WILLIAM (re: the fruit being 9o% for him)

-i'm really happy for louis, he looks so content

-OKAY BUT LOOK AT HOW BOND LOOKS AT MRS HUDSON! I SHIP IT

-"SHERLY"

-ASFDKM, WILLIAM "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF BUT I KNOW I ENJOYED BEING WITH YOU." finally william is also reciting his wedding vows. he opened up his heart to sherlock (or rather, sherlock barged his way in it) and now the world suddenly looks beautiful, yes.

-aw will bb cries :(

-oh. liam and sherly lived in brooklyn. *steve/bucky flashbacks*

-the amazing thing is that neither sherlock nor liam make a fuss about others commenting on their relationship, ever. they're like, "yeah, i simp for this bitch, and?"

-"sherly." i'm sorry, i'll stop making a note of it, but... it comes so casually now. "sherly" :')

-aww, william crying at being thanked by the girlie

-argh william and sherly separately staring at the fire and worrying for one another

-one liam was indeed more troublesome than 100 soldiers, but this is such a cute comment, sherlock, shut up

-fucking william, literally a knight on a white horse

-that one time holmes and moriarty were in a western

-oh i'd say william's body is done recuperating, sherlock. you missed that action hero entrance

-i can't wait to see sherly's face when he sees liam. okay yeah i saw it, it's predictably soft. he's falling in love all over again

-sherly be like "i've dragged that man back from death kicking and screaming and nursed him until he couldn't take it anymore, YOU AIN'T SHOOTING HIM!"

-"why did you come," asks sherlock, with a grin up to his ears

-LIAM WANTS THEM TO LIVE TOGETHER, SHARE THEIR WORRIES TOGETHER, HELP ME! me? help sherly, is he okay, is he fainting right about now?

-SHERLY WANTS THEM TO LIVE TOGETHER AND GUIDE EACH OTHER TOO, GUHHH. they're getting married. again.

-it had been a long while since liam looked like a kitten

-LMFAO EVEN BILLY CALLED THEM WEDDING VOWS HELP. and literally no one contradicts him. 

-seeing the gang react to sherlock's story like we just did is hilarious

-william had been looking for moran but he was too good at hiding? hilarious.

-hahaha the entire gang will be working together for mi6, nice. this feels like a "and they all lived happily ever after” fanfic in the best way

-we interrupt for a "moran becomes a cooking show judge" interlude

-OKAY, the happiest of endings! i'm glad!

[opalvatter]

C dramas of 2023 so far…

Honestly, I just fell down the c drama rabbit hole a few months ago so not that many things to report. However, in least to most favourite so far...

5. Love like the Galaxy

Basically the story of 2 traumatised dumbasses (affectionate) who cause more trauma to each other, mixed in with palace plots, 2 other simps, a bunch of jealous women, far too many characters (including king Wendy and his two wives) and revenge, revenge, revenge and more revenge. And obviously, Love. The classic.

The only reason this is rated this low is because this was way too long to watch and everything else on this list is spectacular.

4. The General's lady

This show is practically 'scary man who is only nice to his (1) woman.' That is it. That's the story. No one cares about the plot.

This was the first c drama that I watched. And honestly, this story is not that great overall in terms of plot and everything, but has enough sweetness to make me swoon every 10 seconds.

3. Legend of Yunxi.

The open-ended tragedy of the medicine girl and the fake prince who is supposedly a monster. Not to forget mentioning the million other very important characters and flower valley owner, Mr.secondary love interest. Cold guy, who has a backstory, meets 'ugly' smart girl and tries to kill her at first sight. She runs and meets sweet guy, who has a backstory of his own. turns out, she gets married to cold guy anyway so no point in running. Don't worry, In this story everything is connected.

This was the second drama that I watched and has the most intense plot so far. unpopular opinion: I love the ending! To me, personally, it makes sense.

2.The Eternal Love

What do you do when you have 3 seasons of the same plot, but repeated falling in love and too much Humour ? You Binge watch only season 1 and ignore the other two.

Season 1 : Bossy, sarcastic Real estate agent gets transmigrated to the past, into the body of a Meek, responsible girl. Drama ensues when the body that now holds two souls, has to get married to the hot brother of OG girl's lover. There is now a love square that only the two girls and their hilarious maid know exist and everyone is confused. The 14th brother's outfits are terrible, the king has a glitter crown, the OG girl's lover gets possessed and now has great eyeliner, everyone has a secret tragic past and there is a demon king who walks around a circle chanting " I'm a bitch " 49 times.

Season 2 : They travel back in time and go back to the future. and only our hot guy knows what happens. and everything happens again. but everything is diffrent and there are now 2 hot guys.

Season 3 : This time, they get transported into an alternate reality where women rule and our Leads get soul swapped into the bodies of the ones in that universe. But, this time, the difference is, this dimension's hot guy is present most of the time and our hot guy only gets released when a memory comes to him. BUT, every time they kiss, he turns back into this universe hot guy, making everyone confused. again.

1. The Romance of Tiger and Rose

Normal day script writer gets transported into her own story and the only way she can go home is to finish the story without dying. Too bad she gets transported into the body of the mean girl, The hero's first wife who he poisons. Someone who is literally the first person to die. The someone who dies 3 episodes in.

But uh oh! now that she survives, the whole story goes up in flames and while trying to get the hero and heroine (her sister) together, she makes the hero fall for her, makes the heroine turn into the villain and overall fucks up the plot in the worst and best way possible. She didn't even have to try. Oh, and she also made another guy fall in love with her which makes her husband the king of jelousy.

Worthy mention to their Servants, Bai ji and Zi Rui, who each share 1 of their own masters' brain cells and are absolutely done with their masters' constant lovey dovey bullshit.

[loyaltykask]

Chapter 23

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

I just... I just love these two interactions. Bajie being lazy but also has a point that they don't need to get the journey done in one day, they have to take breaks while Wukong says that slacking off would only worsen the journey but putting their own bodies at risk by pushing them to the limits won't help either. Also, just Wukong and Bajie bickering like old people makes me laugh.

Wukong would call Bajie a DORK.

Like Wukong says that only cares about Sanzang's safety here and I just love how that is going to change when Wukong takes responsibility for making sure all his brothers are safe as well. They have only been traveling for about a few months together this is legit the start of their journey 23 chapters in.

Bajie really calling Wukong out

OKAY SO THEY DO SAY THE HORSE IS A DRAGON AND HIS SCALES AND HORNS ARE GONE

What a shit, scares the horse and makes Sanzang literally gallop for a mile

Breaking and entering

Nevermind fuck the law

You know it's a demon when the host being nice

SHE ASKED 3 DEMONS TO MARRY HER DAUGHTERS THIS LADY GOT IRON WILL

Snaznag really be saying "No and thank you"

HE DENYING AND DEFLECTING. Damn Cheng'en lay off the guy

He got anxiety

Sanzang: Bajie I swear, if I catch you simping

Sanzang like “the only riches is the riches of enlightenment

The girls are FIGHTING

Sanzang throwing his disciples under the bus! Man does not do confrontation well at this point damn.

Wukong really said: I don't know how to marry the fuck?

Wujing being a true homie, he fucking offended they even ask

Bajie bitching that Sanzang could have been nicer in denying her so they could still get a meal. There just something funnier about how their past gets brought up after months of traveling and they just deadass don't know things about each other. Like they must have wild conversations.

Bajie: We are all tempted! Wukong with his ace ass: ??? Sanzang with his aro ass: ??? Wujing also with an ace ass: ???

I like how Sanzangis like: Don't tease your brother Wukong doesn't go "Okay" he goes "I know" suggesting that he knows he shouldn't but he shall anyway

The mama aint picky but Bajie is like 'don't teach your daughters to be shallow then damn'

I love how the boys all turned their heads when the ladies came in like something about that is kinda sweet that Wujing, Sanzang, and even Wukong were shy in front of company

Also, Wukong making wedding plans is adorable! Wujing the go between, he is the witness, and Sanzang is the in-law he got it all planned out

Wukong: we can go bing on the flowers and wine but I want the fireworks to be set off at 8 Bajie: Won't that be too early? Wukong: I know when the sun sets Baije: Okay okay it's your mountain jeez

Also love that this whole time Bajie was like "let's talk about this" but both WUJING and WUKONG were like "Get married already so we have wine and a wedding!"

Like they both double-teaming on Bajie to just hurry up and get hitched in a night!

THEY BEING MODEST

My favorite dork

Both Wujing and Tripitaka called out to Wukong cause they were SCARED! They wanted the monkey protection!

Also Wukong more than willing to leave a sibling at the grocery store.

Wukong: I lost my brother can I make a call Some guy: Sure? Wukong: Goodbye you little shit

[daisychains111]

live "tweet" books with me (via the Goodreads progress bar) pt. 5 A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

(the first two books plus Frost and Starlight can be found in part 4/4.5)

Alis and Lucian don't believe her "I was a prisoner at night court" BS for one second, and I love that for them

I'm gonna miss Alis...I love her 😭😭

I'm a very enthusiastic Lucian and Elaine fan...I want them to work, even if I know they won't

I'm also an AVID Cassian and Nesta fan....SWOON

once again declaring my absolute distaste of using males, females, and "my mate"

"oversized bat who throws temper tantrums" Nesta is an icon

"Eventually, Mor and Nesta are gonna be besties....I can feel it in my soul

would love for feyre and Nesta to finish their sister heart-to-heart

Alis better be alive somewhere bc istg if Sarah killed that sweet lady I'll riot. also, Tarquin needs to get the stick out of his ass

hehe, Nesta's worried about Cassian

BOOO HISSSSS TAMLIN

literally just fuck him, derogatory

see you used man one time and it was grand then you had to go and correct yourself...bitch ass omagaverse simp

Nesta verbally annihilating Tamlin is my new favorite thing

I'm quickly becoming Nesta's biggest fan

feyre you really just showed every single one of your cards.... those old bastards totally deserved it tho so good on you

girl, you're 20 and married...literally stfu

WOOAAHHH AFFAIR BABY LUCIAN

Nesta doesn't give two shits about the high lord title. she'll tell you to stfu if she feels like it

hehe feyre making fun of Nesta for Cassian will never not be hilarious

HA scary overgrown bat men scared of Nesta

I do not believe that Jurian is on their side, lying until proven not a jerk...also FUCK TAMLIN

you better knock it off with this Mor and Cassian tension...gross

good riddance Ianthe you bitch

not you genuinely making me feel sad about the surial....brutal

absolutely not...Mor and feyre will not be fighting about this...I refuse

awwww Amren and the summer court guy (varian)....cutie pop

SARAH IF YOU HURT SWEET ELAIN I WILL MAIM YOU

damn...if tamlin dies rn trying to redeem himself rn, I just might have to forgive him for being a fuckass

hehe sister hug

hehe elain and azriel

how I didn't realize Mor liked girl is absolutely beyond me...my gaydar is EXTREMELY lacking bc fucking duh

awwww they're holding hanndddsssss

if any one of them dies I'm gonna kill you

if Nesta kisses Cassian bc she thinks they're gonna die I'll forgive Sarah of all her sins

YUUUHH FATHER DEAREST FOR THE ABSOLUTE WIN

once again Nesta saying fuck you and your title I do as I please...icon

AMREN WTF

YAY KISSING WHEN WE THINK WERE GONNA DIE...you're not forgiven tho, not til they both live

YES ELAIN YUUUHHH

goddammit Amern 😭😭

I'm like 80% sure that Rhys doesn't actually die BUT ISTG IF HE DIES RN

AYAY RHYS STAYS ALIVE AND YAY AMREN IS NOT GONE AND YAY

shout out to Tamlin...you're officially redeemed

rip the Tamlin and Lucian bromance

(Afterthought in post-production, WTF happened to Alis. She just disappeared from the planet and I'm not amused.)

I'm starting Silver Flames tomorrow so stay tuned for then hehe (even though I literally should just do my how instead of reading lol)

[deadbydad]

My Thoughts On Miguel O'Hara (Across The Spider-Verse)

I have two opinions on this character.

First Opinion: He is an interesting character, kind of attractive, needs a lot of therapy, and he needs a hug.

Second Opinion: What the fuck I wanna beat the shit out of this man and not in a sexy cute way, I want to throw him into a wall. Hard.

Miguel O'Hara is such an interesting character and he has so much depth to him and we barely really know this man and who he is. I am not going to talk about him in the comics so don't even bring those up those don't count right now, I am talking about the Miguel from the movie.

Miguel has such a specific way of thinking, and I think it's both interesting and kind of a problem.

He's so big on these canon events and "not breaking the canon or some fucked up shit is gonna happen", and he's obsessed with this and saving other dimensions because of something he did, which I am gonna talk about.

Miguel saw a universe where he had a family but it was a different version of him, and that version of him fucking died, so Miguel thought that he should take that Miguel's place.

Yeah, that didn't work out the way he wanted it to. He literally destroyed that universe and his not-actual daughter, and that traumatized him.

I have an issue with this, because I thought it was so creepy that he was just watching this other version of himself and that man's daughter, not the actual Miguel's daughter mind you, and just watched them like a fucking hawk. And the whole time this was happening he was wishing he had a family. Bitch, dating apps are a thing!

Before anyone comes at me and starts saying that he was also saving other universes he didn't have time to go out on dates or get married or have kids, if that's true then why the fuck did this man think that he would just replace another version of himself's place just to be with this little girl who actually wasn't even his?

That's fucking creepy! I thought that was fucking creepy!

Was it just a mistake that he didn't really think about the consequences of? Yes!

Should he have done it? Fuck no!

But, he learned from that and is trying to do better and is trying to fix that mistake by not letting that happen again to any other universe.

But dude....you need to sleep for a couple of years, take a fucking chill pill, and actually think about what you're really doing and what's going on instead of watching cameras like a little kid watching Coco-melon on a fucking tablet.

Yes, you broke the canon and you don't want that to happen to anyone, that's great! But you shouldn't be obsessing about something like that it's not healthy.

Okay, I'm done ranting.

Miguel is trying to make up for what he did in the past by saving the dimensions now and in the future. That's great, he's trying to do better.

But he thinks that what he thinks what's best, is the only way to think, that their is no other option. He doesn't think outside the box, his only thinking when it comes to canon events and breaking the canon is 'what happened to me is going to happen to you if that happens.'

But he doesn't really know that for sure.

Miguel is so obsessed with not wanting what happened to him, to happen to someone else. So obsessed that in his head he thinks that his way of thinking is the only way of thinking, that he is always right. He doesn't having an ego that's fucking obvious, but he doesn't think about what's happening in the present.

He's stuck in the past and in the future, he can't really actually think about what's going on.

I'll elaborate more but I'm just going to post what I have right now.

Will make a part 2.

And no miguel simps better fucking show up and say that he's babygirl and he's misunderstood and defending his actions, don't do that.

That man is not an innocent man, he body slammed a fifteen year old into a fucking train and then told him that he was a mistake and wasn't meant to be Spider-Man and that he doesn't belong.

He is an adult man getting mad at a fifteen year old boy because he hurt his fucking feelings, that man needs thirty years of therapy if he got mad because a child told him no.

That's fucking sad.

[luin-no-koibito]

Shiki's LMJ Liveblog - Case 2

(aka: Holy Shit, Someone Got Killed!)

I took a break between cases 1 and 2 to do one of the daily puzzles and stuff, but now we're back, and we had to hit up the cops directly.

Because murder.

And the paper guy who tried to brand Ernest as "Mr Steal Yo Girl" is back...

But now we gotta go see Hastings (who I'm neutral about).

》In Hastings's office《

He's gone?

Never mind, he's just angsty right now*. Least I found someone's mustache.

*(and a married man)

Still using the walkthrough though!

Hol'up, wait... TWO PEOPLE DIED AND ONLY ONE WAS A MURDER BECAUSE THE OTHER OFFED THEMSELVES!

... Well, seems SOMEONE intended to make the investigation hell for Hastings, but who?

》Meanwhile at another government building...《

Guess it's the mayor.

(And got in an extra 35 picarats from an optional puzzle!)

Eh, back to our mission though!

》mayor's office《

Did some extra looking around and... HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE MASK REFERENCE???

Well, puzzle time! (also side note, the mayor fucking misgendered Sherl)

》one convoluted maze puzzle later《

Holy shit, a legend?? And that's how shit went down now?

*Sees the interactions between Hastings and Lowonida* Haha, Hastings is a simp!

》welp, to the rive- Wait a minute...《

OOOOOOOOO, MILF ALERT!

"I'm taking this case?" Fuck off, this ain't your game!

[make that "Asshole Milf Alert".]

》Off to the Thames - for real this time《

Aaaaand Katrielle's ADHD energy is shining through again.

Also, doomed het couple NPCs go brrrr.

》other side《

After a surprisingly easy 40 picarat puzzle, we met with a dumbass who was out fishing, who confirmed everything because... he saw it.

Meanwhile Ernest is simping for Kat again, but it came back and bit him in the ass.

》Chancer Lane again《

So the dead people were theater kids (age neutral), huh?

But we got the food minigame at least. Looks like a pain, so saving it for after completing everything required to progress the story

》Sus Bros《

Looks like the dead lady's family don't care about their darn kids...

》the old lady store《

Ernest is simping again, and yeah.

》welp, back to Guildhall《

the dead people have been around a lot lately...

SHERL CANONICALLY SAID "SUS"????

Whatever, there's Hot Profilers In My Area!

》Oh hey, Emiliana Perfetti's back《

Still as sassy as ever, O Hot Profiler In My Area?

Oh, you got a puzzle? Bring it on, bitch!

》one bad guy puzzle later《

Well, Emiliana's stumped, but whatever.

》Mayor's Office 2: The Reckoning《

She has plushies? Mood.

》after another puzzle《

Damn, Mayor, having to "I'm fine" your way through your career like a certain lawyer known for his forehead, huh?

The balcony? Sounds like a trap...

》Balcony time《

Wait... people came more because someone died, huh... sus...

OBJECTION! /ref

Yeah, so... IT WAS ALL A PRANK APPARENTLY AND SHE WAS PLOTTING TO YEET HASTINGS OUT OF THE COPS.

AND WHILE THE SECOND PART FAILED, THE PRANK WENT WELL WITH THE KIDS THESE DAYS.

[monstermaster13]

Muppethell: calls Nathan out just because Nathan writes Dan Aykroyd fanfiction, and acts like he/they can speak for Dan Aykroyd

Werebelushi: Muppet, sweetie I'd hate to tell you this but if you don't like his stories, then maybe just maybe they're not for the likes of you. Really? You think they read like porn, oh you poor deluded creature. sarcastically Yes, it is Nathan's fault Dan Aykroyd is so sexy and thicc. Also you have a thing for the Childcatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, okay, why? You do know that dude is supposed to be scary, right? Oh, you developed a fetish for him when you first saw the movie as a teen, huh? Well that exclaims that then. You always were fucked up. Also how cute, you think you can speak for Dan Aykroyd. Dan doesn't know who you are and even if he did, i'd be afraid of you if I was ihm, because if your Martin Short hyperfixation is enough to go by…yikes. I know you're the one who keeps trying to make MartinShortXSteveMartin a thing, they're married and straight for pete's sake, just because they work together doesn't make them gay. And also YOU called Nathan out and called him out on the Simp Central discord server when all Nathan did was be himself. sarcastically Oh noes, Nathan wrote fanfic about someone turning into the very same celebrity you like, horror of horrors. Oh Nathan should be so lucky that it reads like porn, as far as those fics go it doesn't go over PG-13 or R in terms of mature content so you know, Mel rarely does sex scenes or even nude scenes due to how self conscious she is. You would have a heart attack if you discovered Furaffinity, CYOC and Transformania Time exist. Oh yeah especially the latter, let's just say one that starts off as an elderly person turning younger and turning into a muscular demon only to turn into a sexy female demon goes full on Cronenberg meets HP Lovecraft where he/she turns into a writhing mess of body parts. Oh yes, and the horse dildo story in CYOC. Nathan doesn't deny his weirdness in the slightest, in fact he acknowledges it and is revered for it, heck up until you started bitching about him, the people on Simp Central loved him. Oh, your muturals should hear this, huh? What mutuals? Like what person would agree with your bullshit views? No one that's who. Trying to get the other server members to ditch Nathan didn't help your cause. Also fyi calling John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd's 'dead best friend', seriously? Way to undersell John and Dan's friendship, man-bitch. Also if your boyfriend likes you, your brother either has poor taste or he very much was drunk when he first started following you because I can't imagine anyone being attracted to you at all, also lastly…uhh, hello, you left your fucking documentation about your headcanons on a public link that anyone could click on and edit, it's YOUR fault. Nathan just happened to click on it, but hey…I guess now everyone knows how you wanted to adapt new headcanon for the curator character from Alice Cooper's Welcome To My Nightmare. Speaking of which, I am going to make sure that you won't be sleeping for the rest of your life, call me Freddy, because i'm your nightmare on elm street. Fyi, it's just fiction, dude. I am not impersonating Belushi nor do I claim I am him, I am not using his likeness and name for illegal use, it is not like I am making NFTs with Blues Brothers sunglassess or anything. Anyone can dress as Jake or Elwood, it's not a complicated look to pull off, anyone can wear a suit and tie. Besides, multiple Dan Aykroyds going around sounds like fun. I like the idea of being Dan or his characters, except if it's Vic Frohmeyer…I hate that guy. If I was the admin of that server I would have kicked you off instead.

[yeyayeya]

You know what? Fine, IntSys, take all my fucking orbs away

Stop giving me units I want

[wannabegwenstacy]

Eden's Favorite Mingyu Tumblr Fics

updated: 5/2/2023

Main A/N: check out the full svt fic recs masterlist for some of the other members. warning i'm a baby carat so its not super full yet and i currently have only some members posts created currently. will be updating with more fic recs periodically. :)

Temporary A/N: Also, I don't have a lot of fics and/or different authors linked yet. :( Will continue reading and updating periodically.

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⇣Below cut⇣

Besties : Meanie by @smileysuh

Pairing: Wonwoo & Mingyu x reader

Genre: smut, shenanigans, sprinklings of crack.

Word count: 15.2k

Tropes/AU’s: Collage AU, poly au, just two best bros fucking hoes together, strangers to enemies to lovers, douchebag/tsundere!Wonwoo, 

Warnings: dirty dancing, suggestions of infidelity that are unwarranted, crack shenanigans/debauchery, teasing, pet names, propositioning, sexual tension, tsundere/strangers to enemies to lovers! Wonwoo, exhibitionism, dirty talk, threesome, simp Mingyu, Hard Dom Wonwoo, spitting, choking, fingering, unprotected sex, dumbification, etc...

Summary: Your best friend drags you to a frat party despite your budding relationship with a man named Mingyu, and your best friend even convinces you to let loose, after all, you might not be single for much longer... however when he tells you to let your freak flag fly and kiss randoms- neither of you can foresee the massive blunder you make when ‘some random’ ends up being the best friend of your new ‘boyfriend not boyfriend’. 

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puppy love by @smileysuh

Pairing: black lab hybrid!mingyu x afab!reader

Genre: smut & fluff

Wordcount: 6.3k 

AU's: hybrid au, established relationship au, etc... 

Warnings: hybrid classism mentioned, body worship, praise, “pretty girl”, oral, fingering, insatiable Gyu, switch!Gyu, gentle choking, hybrid ear sensitivity, two givers fighting over who gets to give, clothed sex, unprotected sex, etc...

Summary: Mingyu is stuck in the puppy love phase, he can’t get enough of you, and can’t seem to grow out of it either- luckily, as your Black Lab Hybrid, he never needs to.

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ice cold, cabin fever by @smileysuh

Pairing: Seungcheol & Mingyu x afab!Reader

Rating: 18+ explicit

Wordcount: 25.9k

AU's: e2l, s2l, step brothers Jihan, non idol, ski resort, roomies, etc...

Warnings: threesome, daddy issues, mean/tsundere cheol, wet dreams, spanking, marking, dirty talk, choking, unprotected sex, pain kink, dacryphilia, breast play, praise, degradation, fingering, oral, hand job, blow job, multiple orgasms, overstim, edging, orgasm denial, manhandling, size kink, cumplay, finger sucking, spit roasting, hair pulling, voyeurism, | petnames: (hers) princess, bitch, whore, baby (s.coups) cheol, douche, dick, daddy (mingyu) gyu.

Summary/Preview: "come on, let’s just go back to snakes and ladders and you can pretend we’re not snowed in with no firewood and a dude you hate locked in the bathroom."

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F*ck, Marry, Kill: With the Experienced by @bitchlessdino

Pairing: fem!reader x ex!mingyu x seungcheol x wonwoo

Genre: smut

Wordcount: 5.6k

Tags: poly, exhibitionism, voyeurism, degradation, pet names (princess), unprotected sex (except cheol), praise kink, spanking, clit slapping, fingering, oral (rec. and giving), u, pussy slapping, ass play, triple penetration

Summary: one dumb party game makes a comeback.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Omg I'm so happy you are writing for the Quarry!

If requests are still open I would love it if you could maybe do a travis/reader where maybe she is his wife who is also infected and he keeps her safe every full moon or something like that 😂

I simp for Ted Raimi ngl

A/n: I too am a simp for this man….so this is set in a AU where Laura and Max went to the hotel and the others aren’t at the camp.

You were Travis’s Hackett’s loving wife, and polar opposite of your husband which was why his mother did not like you.

‘Too out spoke!’

‘Has a smart mouth.’

‘Gold digger too, why else would she be with you’

Well maybe you wouldn’t have such a smart mouth if they treated the man you loved with respect.

“Fucking bitch.”

“What did you say darling?” Travis was packing for you both. He was taking you to where you’d be locked up for the night.

“I said your mother is a fucking bitch.”

Letting out a snort, Travis placed the bags down then lent on giving your head a kiss. “Ain’t that the truth.”

The man was always amazed by how someone like you would even be attracted to a guy like him. A pretty young woman? He couldn’t wrap his head around it , he constantly would be reminded by his mother about it.

Placing your hands on your hips you couldn’t help but fume at what Chris told you before he left to lock himself up with his kids. “Why are you married to my boy” you did your best to mimic the old woman’s voice. As if it was hard to grasp the concept that you loved Travis, she did not know how kind he was to you. That the moment he found out you got bitten by Silas.

She didn’t know that Travis was out in the woods alone, looking for Silas so he could cure you. She didn’t know how he’d stay by your side even in the state you were in. Shaking your head you forced a smile on your face as your wrapped your arms around his neck giving him a soft kiss, the man eagerly returning it. “I love you Travis. Don’t ever doubt that. You’re my protector.” You teased softly placing a hand on his cheek, the man leaning into your hand.

“Well I do remember you saying you like a man in uniform.” He did his best to tease you back as he then grasped your hand though a small frowned formed on his lips. “I promise you, I will find that bastard and I will kill him.”

Sighing your pressed your nose into his neck, it was going to be dark soon and you’d rather not kill your husband. “I know you will Travis.”

And true to his word, Travis kept his promise. His mother finally telling him he did something right.

But none of that matter to him, none of it mattered because he could finally hold you in his arms under a full moon.

“You’re my hero Travis Hackett.”

“And you’re mine Y/N Hackett.”

[frogtanii]

iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[leucoratia]

My take on Jojo characters’ sexuality (Part 2)

See part 1 here. I had to make a part 2 because I couln’t fit in all of my tags.

-From part 4 to 5 because I haven’t seen Stone Ocean and the rest yet. But there’s a lotta characters in part 4 and 5 so ey

Tw: mentions of sex, not proofred we die like men.

PART 4: DIAMOND IS UNBREAKABLE

Josule Higashikata: bisexual demiromantic

Idk. Not really sure about that one so up to be debated. I feel josuke would fuck anyone but romance? Nah you gotta go 45-steps with this man. Takes slowburn to a whole other level.

Okuyasu Nijimura: pure bisexual

Yea he’s bi. Gay for Josuke but bi still. He will za hando and za finger probably anyone. The one and only true bisexual. 

Gets no bitches tho sorry Okuyasu you deserved better but you have no game

Koichi, Kira and Yukako: extremely straight

Like have you seen their vibes they’re straight as hell. As for Kira I raise: he literally simps for the Mona Lisa and collects female hands don’t tell me there’s repressed homosexuality here my man is so unhinged if he was gay he would make himself a realistic dildo collection by collecting mumified penises. Kira is STRAIGHT.

(Sorry David Bowie you deserved so much better you queer icon)

Kishibe Rohan: aromantic pansexual

Rohan fucks SEVERELY. At least in theory because we know he got no game  he’s 10000% a virgin. Like. Every gender gets our man going in bed but he’s got 0 action bcs have you seen him he might be extremely hot but he’s so damn awkward. His vibes are all over the place. He would probably eat one of your toenails for “art and accuracy”. Hence no one wants to get within a 20-foot radius of Rohan Kishibe. I’d let him hit tho. Then he’ll finally know what sex is like.

Aromantic. Got no time for all that “romance” bs. Literally cringes watching romcoms and seeing couples in the street. People may think it’s because he’s jaleous (no game, remember?) but really he’s just grossed out.

PART 5: GOLDEN WIND

Giorno Giovana: aro-ace king

Our King is declared ARO/ACE. Giorno knows what sex is but doesn’t fuck. He got more important things to deal with, like idk running the fucking italian mafia. His one true love is justice and equality makes him hard. He’s too pure for all of you wretched souls out there. He’d be happy to bromance you though.

Bruno Bucciarati: bi

My sweet prince is also cursed with bisexuality but contrary to other bis such as Polnareff he FUCKS. His tongue game is too insane for him to get no bitches I’m sorry (when did this become a “who has game” tierlist-). Anyways yes Certified Freak Bruno likes everyone his heart and legs are open for all. I don’t feel like he would have a preference for a particular gender but feel free to argue with me in the comments. I wish I had more to write about my blorbo but. Well. No thoughts head empty rn.

Leone Abbacchio: omni

Our man is a proud omnisexual/omniromantic! Plus the flag fits his aesthetic very well so slay king for having the sexuality that goes with your vibe. Honestly yes this label fits. He’s omni. He’s too dead inside to care about gender but keeps it in the back of his mind. 

Married to Bruno (canon doesn’t exist sorry) and will def gossip about other ppl with his husband.

Guido Mista: female-leaning bisexual

Tbh Mista doesn’t seem to be the type of person to bother with labels. He just fucks. So here have bisexuality. He would be more into women because of his tendency to bromance every male he encouters but he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to explore the matters of the flesh with other guys. Slay.

Panacotta Fugo: aro-ace

Our favourite calm and collected guyTM is certified aroace! I have absolutely NO DOUBTS. HE IS AROACE. (sex-repulsed also bcs well trauma and he also legit thinks it’s a disgusting waste of time). May he and Giogio create the perfect aroace mafioso team. Cleanse Italy from all of the wretched and perverted souls like Diavolo and Bucciarati children, gooo.

Narancia Ghirga: polyamorous

I have murdered my brain and soul trying to find a queer orientation for our soft bean Narancia and tbh only polyamorous seems to fit. He want to share the love yk. About his gender preferences? I gave up. I simply cannot concieve Narancia being in a relationship/having sex. No. Too young. Too pure. What do you mean he’s 17 hence older than Fugo/Giorno as well as only two years younger than me? Nope. He’s 12. I don’t give a shit. I will not think about Narancia’s private business ever. He’s just poly take it or leave it.

Diavolo/Doppio: pan

Male Thot Enemy of the State Diavolo and Unhinged Pure Bean Doppio are both PAN! Difference being Diavolo fucks while Doppio gets fucked. Diavolo my blorbo is kind of Dio-like in his attraction. Because he’s a hot dilf he always gets what he wants. Doppio would be more reserved tbh.

Diavolo is secretly a huge sub tho. I rest my case the evidence is in the show.

Trish Una: Lesbian

Bro it’s soooo obvious she’s literally gay as hell I have nothing more to say except that Trish likes GIRLS.

Risotto Nero and Melone: pan as well

Many pansexuals out there and these two are going on the team. Melone in a unhinged way specifically. Risotto wouln’t necessarly label himself, he’d probably be down for everything. Also is there a freak-ass bitch flag? Because these two need it fr. Melone probably has a Christian Grey lookin ass sex dungeon for sure. Melone is a playful switch. Ris a soft switch who secretly likes to bottom. I rest my case once again.

Ghiaccio: gay

Had to make a separate one for Ghiaccio because I cannot imagine this man being into women and generaly female-passing mfs. He’s soooo into men. Extremely homosexual.

I won’t be making headcanons for everyone in La Squadra because I simply do not give a fuck about most of them.

Loving how there is not a single heterosexual in Golden wind. Perfect. Truly the best Jojo part.

Part 3 of this post coming whenever I’ll get up to date on Stone Ocean/SBR/Jojolion Ig. Ask box open as always kids. Please send me headcanons or prompts I’m so fucking bored-