#bitch I fucking married and also simped for this man
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yeyayeya · 2 years ago
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You know what? Fine, IntSys, take all my fucking orbs away
Stop giving me units I want
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minhosimthings · 10 months ago
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Girl Dad!Enhypen headcannons
Pairings: Enhypen × fem!reader (sep.)
Warnings: fluff fluff I'm choking on this fluff, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of birth, mentions of food, also swearing because I can't handle myself lol
A/N: alright bitches I am high on baby fever so if I'm dying IM TAKING Y'ALL DOWN WITH ME. Tagging @jaeyunluvr for obvious reasons.
Stray Kids version!
Lee Heeseung
Is SO Bambi eyed when you tell him you're pregnant
Like 🥺 this be him, all teary eyed and happy
As if he didn't rail the brains out of you last night but whatever
He was already a simp for you but now that you're pregnant?
"My wife is my entire life and I will walk through every element in this world for her and I would destroy this entire world for her did you know that I love my wife?"
SO EXCITED WHEN YOU START SHOWING He cries over how soft you look sometimes
When I say he sings to your belly at night- (he rants about how the baby kicked when he sang his fav song to the guys)
And gets so starry eyed when baby kicks at his favourite song
Literally the best during birth, he's such a cheerleader
Sobs literal rivers when he holds the baby
"She looks so much like you."
Looks at his daughter as if he would end the world for her
HEESEUNG STOP WE ARE WEAK WOMEN HERE
Singing lessons are basically free for her and Heeseung sobs to you every night about how good she's been getting
Loves to have Karaoke dates with her and teaches her how to make music
Brags so much
"Y/N can you take your husband please he's been talking about his child for hours now we are tired" "hey guys do you know what she did yesterday-"
He died inside when she tried to hit a high note and succeeded
10/10 dad, must marry Heeseung I have a ring
Park 'Jay' Jongsoeng
Do I hear the best girl dad in the entire world?
YES I FUCKING DO DAD JAY AGENDA LETS GAURRRRR
When you tell him, he kisses your face so much
WORSHIPS YOU you are a Goddess in his eyes
normally Jay wouldn't let you do anything but now? He will ravage the earth if you lift even an atom
"what are you doing out of bed?" "I have to pee Jay for god's sake-"
Belly massages are free and unlimited with a husband like him
And so is the food because he will cook everything you ask for as if it's the last thing he'll do
Builds the bassinet properly, and makes sure to turn you on because mooscles SHUT UP IM HAVING A MOMENT
Asks his mom for advice if he doesn't know what to do
Is a brave boi during birth like he is NOT hesitant to do any shit you want
Cries part 2
And I mean he sobbed his entire water weight out of his body when he held his tiny baby
"I have two princesses to take care of now"
JAY PLEASE I HAVE A UTERUS STAPPH
Takes care of everything, and I mean everything
Not a surprise to see your baby girl strapped to his chest by a harness 24/7
Daddy-daugher dates are a must!!
His phone storage is literally just her
"Hey guys look at this picture of my baby"
Sim "Jake" Jaeyun
Jake.exe has stopped working
Literally just stares at you when you tell him, so much so you have to wave your hands in front of him to snap him out
"WE'RE HAVING A BABY WHAT"
Congratulations dear reader, because now your husband is basically attached to your belly
"Baby did she kick-" "bro I just moved chill"
Double congratulations because now Layla and him are fighting for your attention
Literally so lost in everything related to women, pregnancy, and birth but he tries
And by that I mean, he stares at you doe-eyed while you explain everything
Most likely to faint during the birth because lord he can't handle this, he's a princess babygirl
Sobs part 3
"she has your eyes" JAKE STOP
Layla and baby besties forever which makes Jake weak in da knees
Will not leave your baby alone even for a second like he's attached to her now
Loves shopping for her
Literally spoils the shit out of her do y'all see this man buying diamonds because I do
"Baby, of COURSE we have to get her matching outfits how else will we do movie night without matchy pajamas"
Jake come home the kids miss you
Park Sunghoon
Yay you have officially broken Park mf Sunghoon
When you tell him, he's literally just 😶😶
No thoughts, brain has evaporated
But then-
"IM HAVING A FUCKING BABY"
You're like chill mf what the hell
Will literally carry you everywhere no matter if you tell him to put you down
"Hoon I can walk-"
*already picking you up* "sorry can't hear I'm deaf"
He makes so many plans, and organises literally everything
Also will get confused on how to build the cradle thingy
He's shit scared of birth, but will definetly allow you to squeeze his hand as hard as you want
Sobs part 4
She looks like you part 3
ICE SKATING DATES WHADUPPP
I'm crying just imagining hoon holding her tiny hands and guiding her through the ice
Your daughter is a fashionista thanks to her dad
Spoils her shitless part 2
"GUYS GUYS YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MY BABY DID THE OTHER DAY" *doesn't even wait for a yes*
Kim "Sunoo" Seonwoo
My dude is so chill
Probably the normalest out of all of em
Hugs you and kisses you all over
But inside he's screaming crying throwing up shaking kicking his feet in the air
Literally treats the house like a military base once you staart showing
*talking to Enha* "If anything goes even the slightest bit wrong I will murder all of you."
So obsessed with literally just watching you because in his eyes you're so adorable
LOVES THE WAY YOU WADDLE
Gets so cocky over helping you like he's so proud, showing off his muscles and everything
Sunoo please you're my age STAPHH
MAKES AND TRIES YOUR WEIRD CRAVINGS
Will probably be disgusted by birth but he's a strong sailor he pulls through
Mentally breakdowns while holding your child because omg she's so tiny!!!
Mint choco lover agenda lessons starts from day 1
No child of Sunoo's is gonna hate mint choco
Daddy-daughter dates are a MUST
Loved bonding with her so much
Will definitely do her hair if she decides to grow it long
AND WILL GO TO SELF DEFENCE CLASSES WITH HER I WILL DIE BY THIS HILL
Sunoo I am a weak woman STOP
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lagncx · 7 months ago
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Lord HEISEINBERG head canon
Neil newbon bless him and the amazing work he’s done. Says he leaves his characters open for us to make head canons well here’s mine!
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So like the little simp I am I go and get karls bonus figure and I also get the mutated one cause I think it’s cool. I’m over here like mmmm he’s so sexy “oh he’s so hawt” he listens to asmr with people hitting frequency metal bowls >///<
But nothing could take me from the reality that his mutation form (I would still impregnate him idc) is huge and hideous (nuh uh) and he literally has a dislocated jaw and a wire mustache that’s a crazy rebellion weapon but anyways! Rip to the metal army btw when we run from strum and fall in that trash chute I feel in my heart and my belly! He sleeps there In mutated form and if you were his significant other he’d probably be like “I uh- made this room for you” and for weeks you’d wake up with him gone late at night but you were just cuddling so you go looking and strum the lil guy just kinda stomps towards the chute and waves his little nubs down there cause you ordered to know where your iron giant was and there he was in…all…ALL his glory snoring and you weren’t sure if this was moldy metal or a being but then you saw the face and the mustache/beard(?) gave it away and you kissed strum’s engine hopping down and falling on luckily a flat board making him shake and the sound of metal groaning as he got up and his head snaked it’s way over to look at you your face was looking at him like
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So he thought you were disgusted and I know he can use his words but imma say he can’t and can only groan so he kinda just hides away cause in my mind he can’t change back so quickly but poor baby was showing his true self this monster he didn’t even CHOOSE TO BE!!! FUCKING MIRANDA HURTING MH FUCKING BABY HIM AND SALVATORE AND ALCINA AND DONNA FUCKING DONNA THAT BITCH! AND ETHAN! (Sorry.) so you kinda just climb over this hazard space cutting yourself a few times but you’re no bitch and your right next to his face (I’m literally looking at his form as we speak on my tv) and you hesitantly give it a small kiss and for you it’s like a weird gooey taste but for Karl he tastes love! Woo! You’re not afraid of him !!! And for him that meant so much he knew he’d marry you, give you kids. HAVE YOUR KIDS anything! Open a jar of pickles…have you open the jar of pickles. Both of you not being able to so you both decide to just break it and eat pickles picking off any small shards of glass and kiss after with hot pickle breath. But this damn hazard place was freezing so you kinda looked around shaking and your face was like
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So Karl kinda has this fuckass engine that heats him up so you kinda scoot closer that nasty ass goo (if you look closely at the figure the cadou…cado…fuck it. It’s moving. So after like an hour of silence and many questions you stick your hand in his separated jaw and for some fucking reason there’s a fuck ass spinning blades thing like a blender and you scream cause you get knicked but he kinda shakes in a way that he’s laughing. And you roll your eyes. Did you sleep down there? HE HE HELL NAH! But you didn’t like sleeping alone so you did cause you brought the mattress down (by yourself! Ducking soldats only got up for threats they kinda just watch you struggle.) and you laid on that wack mattress with a tiny blanket and you forgot the fucking pillow but it ok cause Karl kept breathing on you so that engine output had to come out somewhere SO YEA HES A HEATER TOO! erm…this is so silly and stupid. Karl when you like his form (you never said you liked it but hey you don’t hate it):
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A song that fits this….hm. Oh yea swv use your heart
-Use your heart, and not your EYES- you gotta use your heart to love this man I mean his human form looks a little dirty but he is truly beautiful. In mutation and out
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oneforthemunny · 2 years ago
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Was inspired by a blurb by another blog ( @indouloureux ) about Eddie helping a reader with this scenario and thought it was entertaining: How each Eddie would respond to asking for help about struggling to pull your tampon out.
Modern!Eddie is an absolute simp and does not let her get embarrassed about anything and annoyingly says “It would be my honor🫡”
Mafia!Eddie is unfazed, man has seen more blood than he’d like to admit, but is lightly scolding you for not being careful, “Oh Kitten, need daddy’s help always.”
Older!Eddie is confused as to why you’re asking him, “Bunny, you know I’d do it, but my eyesight is terrible and I’d probably make it worse.”
Cowboy!Eddie would do it with just a small chuckle, “You’re one of a kind, sugar. Let’s get you sorted out.”
Dom!Eddie is slightly weirded out, not because it’s a period or vagina, but that something made for half the population is that tricky to use. “You’d think these scientists would figure something out for once, but noooo.”
Bartender!Eddie would help after you’d explain to him for five minutes that, yes, a tampon can get stuck and that it’s not an indicator of the size of your vagina, “Listen babe, you’re tight as fuck, that’s probably why- Okay fine do you have a better answer?”
Rockstar!Eddie would do it, but him and Nepotism Baby are married with multiple of the girls, so he is laughing. He pretends to think about it for a few minutes while she’s standing in the bathroom doorway mad as ever.
omfg this is a nightmare scenario but also so funny.
modern!eddie is on it!! you're freaking out and he's like "I got you" tries to get her to relax so he can get in there. "baby, I'll get it out, ok? just calm down. you're too tight." all sweet and coaxing. he gets it out eventually.
janitor!eddie would be similar, but she's so embarrassed to ask him. he hears her grunting and crying out in pain in the bathroom, so he's like??? you good?? and you're like frustrated and sobbing and hormonal, and he comes in to see you, foot on the counter mirror in one hand and tweezers in the other. "my tampon got stuck!!!" you wail, and he's ready to go. soothing and shushing so you'll relax, kneels down under you and gets it out.
mafia!eddie would be so unfazed by blood tbh. he's more effected by the hormones of a period than blood, doesn't think it's gross or whatever lame guys say. you get it stuck, and you're in the bath trying to like waterboard, flush it out and he's like??? here, let me. you're like "ed! be careful! don't push it back more!" and he's like I got it. pulls it out easily, like a bullet lol.
older!eddie bless him he's gotta put his readers on bc he can't see shit. wearing one of those headband type things with a light and his bifocals while you're just spread eagle in front of him.
cowboy!eddie is like.... what? not that he's like grossed out like he knows what a period is and it's natural, but he's horrified that... tampons get stuck??? they break???? he's sick at the thought of that. but he'd help you out. he's been inside animals before, unfortunately, so it's nothing he's not used to lmao.
dom!eddie would be in awe about 1) how far they had to go up your cooch 2) it broke?? like you would think they wouldn't want those things to break what the fuck. he's ranting the whole time. "whoever did this should be fucking guillotined because why would you make a shitty- I'm sorry sweetheart, I've almost got it- why would you-" "ed! shut up!" you grit, tears in your eyes. it feels much different that when he's normally inside of you.
bouncer!eddie has you hovering over his face so he can see in and try to get it out. "too tight, baby, I told you. got a grip reaper and look-" "eddie, shut the fuck up. that has nothing to do with this."
rockstar!eddie if it happened pre-babies would be disgusted. he would be gagging and she'd be bitching him out left and right, because he's being a fucking baby. then if it happened post babies and after they were married, he'd be cackling. probably say something gross like "and people wonder if you're still tight after six kids. gonna start telling them about this." "edward, I will fucking kill you. don't you dare tell anyone."
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madraleen · 11 months ago
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Moriarty the Patriot - Ryōsuke Takeuchi & Hikaru Miyoshi Chapters 65-76 : A heavily ship-oriented commentary.
-louis thanking william for choosing to live, he's so sweet
-aw lil louis hugging his brother
-the three brothers are together again :')
-i don't recall seeing louis this peaceful ever before, as now that william and albert are returned
-i feel like i'm reading a prolonged happy epilogue and i'm alright with that
-why is albert's and mycroft's reunion so soft omg
-erm? bond/mrs hudson, y/y? THIS IS SO WHOLESOME I SHIP IT
-THE CLOSE-UP ON SHERLOCK'S EYES AS WILL WALKS INTO THE ROOM, WTH! groom meet groom
-i love smiling william. i really do love smiling william, i smile along with him
-ah, sunshine billy!
-louis pretty much loves everyone on this dinner for helping his brother
-AHAHA BILLY IS ONTO YOU, SHERLOCK, HE KNOWS YOU DOTE ON WILLIAM (re: the fruit being 9o% for him)
-i'm really happy for louis, he looks so content
-OKAY BUT LOOK AT HOW BOND LOOKS AT MRS HUDSON! I SHIP IT
-"SHERLY"
-ASFDKM, WILLIAM "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF BUT I KNOW I ENJOYED BEING WITH YOU." finally william is also reciting his wedding vows. he opened up his heart to sherlock (or rather, sherlock barged his way in it) and now the world suddenly looks beautiful, yes.
-aw will bb cries :(
-oh. liam and sherly lived in brooklyn. *steve/bucky flashbacks*
-the amazing thing is that neither sherlock nor liam make a fuss about others commenting on their relationship, ever. they're like, "yeah, i simp for this bitch, and?"
-"sherly." i'm sorry, i'll stop making a note of it, but... it comes so casually now. "sherly" :')
-aww, william crying at being thanked by the girlie
-argh william and sherly separately staring at the fire and worrying for one another
-one liam was indeed more troublesome than 100 soldiers, but this is such a cute comment, sherlock, shut up
-fucking william, literally a knight on a white horse
-that one time holmes and moriarty were in a western
-oh i'd say william's body is done recuperating, sherlock. you missed that action hero entrance
-i can't wait to see sherly's face when he sees liam. okay yeah i saw it, it's predictably soft. he's falling in love all over again
-sherly be like "i've dragged that man back from death kicking and screaming and nursed him until he couldn't take it anymore, YOU AIN'T SHOOTING HIM!"
-"why did you come," asks sherlock, with a grin up to his ears
-LIAM WANTS THEM TO LIVE TOGETHER, SHARE THEIR WORRIES TOGETHER, HELP ME! me? help sherly, is he okay, is he fainting right about now?
-SHERLY WANTS THEM TO LIVE TOGETHER AND GUIDE EACH OTHER TOO, GUHHH. they're getting married. again.
-it had been a long while since liam looked like a kitten
-LMFAO EVEN BILLY CALLED THEM WEDDING VOWS HELP. and literally no one contradicts him. 
-seeing the gang react to sherlock's story like we just did is hilarious
-william had been looking for moran but he was too good at hiding? hilarious.
-hahaha the entire gang will be working together for mi6, nice. this feels like a "and they all lived happily ever after” fanfic in the best way
-we interrupt for a "moran becomes a cooking show judge" interlude
-OKAY, the happiest of endings! i'm glad!
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loyaltykask · 1 year ago
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Chapter 23
@journeythroughjourneytothewest
I just... I just love these two interactions. Bajie being lazy but also has a point that they don't need to get the journey done in one day, they have to take breaks while Wukong says that slacking off would only worsen the journey but putting their own bodies at risk by pushing them to the limits won't help either. Also, just Wukong and Bajie bickering like old people makes me laugh.
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Wukong would call Bajie a DORK.
Like Wukong says that only cares about Sanzang's safety here and I just love how that is going to change when Wukong takes responsibility for making sure all his brothers are safe as well. They have only been traveling for about a few months together this is legit the start of their journey 23 chapters in.
Bajie really calling Wukong out
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OKAY SO THEY DO SAY THE HORSE IS A DRAGON AND HIS SCALES AND HORNS ARE GONE
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What a shit, scares the horse and makes Sanzang literally gallop for a mile
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Breaking and entering
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Nevermind fuck the law
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You know it's a demon when the host being nice
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SHE ASKED 3 DEMONS TO MARRY HER DAUGHTERS THIS LADY GOT IRON WILL
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Snaznag really be saying "No and thank you"
HE DENYING AND DEFLECTING. Damn Cheng'en lay off the guy
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He got anxiety
Sanzang: Bajie I swear, if I catch you simping
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Sanzang like “the only riches is the riches of enlightenment
The girls are FIGHTING
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Sanzang throwing his disciples under the bus! Man does not do confrontation well at this point damn.
Wukong really said: I don't know how to marry the fuck?
Wujing being a true homie, he fucking offended they even ask
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Bajie bitching that Sanzang could have been nicer in denying her so they could still get a meal. There just something funnier about how their past gets brought up after months of traveling and they just deadass don't know things about each other. Like they must have wild conversations.
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Bajie: We are all tempted! Wukong with his ace ass: ??? Sanzang with his aro ass: ??? Wujing also with an ace ass: ???
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I like how Sanzangis like: Don't tease your brother Wukong doesn't go "Okay" he goes "I know" suggesting that he knows he shouldn't but he shall anyway
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The mama aint picky but Bajie is like 'don't teach your daughters to be shallow then damn'
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I love how the boys all turned their heads when the ladies came in like something about that is kinda sweet that Wujing, Sanzang, and even Wukong were shy in front of company
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Also, Wukong making wedding plans is adorable! Wujing the go between, he is the witness, and Sanzang is the in-law he got it all planned out
Wukong: we can go bing on the flowers and wine but I want the fireworks to be set off at 8 Bajie: Won't that be too early? Wukong: I know when the sun sets Baije: Okay okay it's your mountain jeez
Also love that this whole time Bajie was like "let's talk about this" but both WUJING and WUKONG were like "Get married already so we have wine and a wedding!"
Like they both double-teaming on Bajie to just hurry up and get hitched in a night!
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THEY BEING MODEST
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My favorite dork
Both Wujing and Tripitaka called out to Wukong cause they were SCARED! They wanted the monkey protection!
Also Wukong more than willing to leave a sibling at the grocery store.
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Wukong: I lost my brother can I make a call Some guy: Sure? Wukong: Goodbye you little shit
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daisychains111 · 9 months ago
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live "tweet" books with me (via the Goodreads progress bar) pt. 5 A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas
(the first two books plus Frost and Starlight can be found in part 4/4.5)
Alis and Lucian don't believe her "I was a prisoner at night court" BS for one second, and I love that for them
I'm gonna miss Alis...I love her 😭😭
I'm a very enthusiastic Lucian and Elaine fan...I want them to work, even if I know they won't
I'm also an AVID Cassian and Nesta fan....SWOON
once again declaring my absolute distaste of using males, females, and "my mate"
"oversized bat who throws temper tantrums" Nesta is an icon
"Eventually, Mor and Nesta are gonna be besties....I can feel it in my soul
would love for feyre and Nesta to finish their sister heart-to-heart
Alis better be alive somewhere bc istg if Sarah killed that sweet lady I'll riot. also, Tarquin needs to get the stick out of his ass
hehe, Nesta's worried about Cassian
BOOO HISSSSS TAMLIN
literally just fuck him, derogatory
see you used man one time and it was grand then you had to go and correct yourself...bitch ass omagaverse simp
Nesta verbally annihilating Tamlin is my new favorite thing
I'm quickly becoming Nesta's biggest fan
feyre you really just showed every single one of your cards.... those old bastards totally deserved it tho so good on you
girl, you're 20 and married...literally stfu
WOOAAHHH AFFAIR BABY LUCIAN
Nesta doesn't give two shits about the high lord title. she'll tell you to stfu if she feels like it
hehe feyre making fun of Nesta for Cassian will never not be hilarious
HA scary overgrown bat men scared of Nesta
I do not believe that Jurian is on their side, lying until proven not a jerk...also FUCK TAMLIN
you better knock it off with this Mor and Cassian tension...gross
good riddance Ianthe you bitch
not you genuinely making me feel sad about the surial....brutal
absolutely not...Mor and feyre will not be fighting about this...I refuse
awwww Amren and the summer court guy (varian)....cutie pop
SARAH IF YOU HURT SWEET ELAIN I WILL MAIM YOU
damn...if tamlin dies rn trying to redeem himself rn, I just might have to forgive him for being a fuckass
hehe sister hug
hehe elain and azriel
how I didn't realize Mor liked girl is absolutely beyond me...my gaydar is EXTREMELY lacking bc fucking duh
awwww they're holding hanndddsssss
if any one of them dies I'm gonna kill you
if Nesta kisses Cassian bc she thinks they're gonna die I'll forgive Sarah of all her sins
YUUUHH FATHER DEAREST FOR THE ABSOLUTE WIN
once again Nesta saying fuck you and your title I do as I please...icon
AMREN WTF
YAY KISSING WHEN WE THINK WERE GONNA DIE...you're not forgiven tho, not til they both live
YES ELAIN YUUUHHH
goddammit Amern 😭😭
I'm like 80% sure that Rhys doesn't actually die BUT ISTG IF HE DIES RN
AYAY RHYS STAYS ALIVE AND YAY AMREN IS NOT GONE AND YAY
shout out to Tamlin...you're officially redeemed
rip the Tamlin and Lucian bromance
(Afterthought in post-production, WTF happened to Alis. She just disappeared from the planet and I'm not amused.)
I'm starting Silver Flames tomorrow so stay tuned for then hehe (even though I literally should just do my how instead of reading lol)
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wannabegwenstacy · 2 years ago
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Eden's Favorite Mingyu Tumblr Fics
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updated: 5/2/2023
Main A/N: check out the full svt fic recs masterlist for some of the other members. warning i'm a baby carat so its not super full yet and i currently have only some members posts created currently. will be updating with more fic recs periodically. :)
Temporary A/N: Also, I don't have a lot of fics and/or different authors linked yet. :( Will continue reading and updating periodically.
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⇣Below cut⇣
Besties : Meanie by @smileysuh
Pairing: Wonwoo & Mingyu x reader
Genre: smut, shenanigans, sprinklings of crack.
Word count: 15.2k
Tropes/AU’s: Collage AU, poly au, just two best bros fucking hoes together, strangers to enemies to lovers, douchebag/tsundere!Wonwoo, 
Warnings: dirty dancing, suggestions of infidelity that are unwarranted, crack shenanigans/debauchery, teasing, pet names, propositioning, sexual tension, tsundere/strangers to enemies to lovers! Wonwoo, exhibitionism, dirty talk, threesome, simp Mingyu, Hard Dom Wonwoo, spitting, choking, fingering, unprotected sex, dumbification, etc...
Summary: Your best friend drags you to a frat party despite your budding relationship with a man named Mingyu, and your best friend even convinces you to let loose, after all, you might not be single for much longer... however when he tells you to let your freak flag fly and kiss randoms- neither of you can foresee the massive blunder you make when ‘some random’ ends up being the best friend of your new ‘boyfriend not boyfriend’. 
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puppy love by @smileysuh
Pairing: black lab hybrid!mingyu x afab!reader
Genre: smut & fluff
Wordcount: 6.3k 
AU's: hybrid au, established relationship au, etc... 
Warnings: hybrid classism mentioned, body worship, praise, “pretty girl”, oral, fingering, insatiable Gyu, switch!Gyu, gentle choking, hybrid ear sensitivity, two givers fighting over who gets to give, clothed sex, unprotected sex, etc...
Summary: Mingyu is stuck in the puppy love phase, he can’t get enough of you, and can’t seem to grow out of it either- luckily, as your Black Lab Hybrid, he never needs to.
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ice cold, cabin fever by @smileysuh
Pairing: Seungcheol & Mingyu x afab!Reader
Rating: 18+ explicit
Wordcount: 25.9k
AU's: e2l, s2l, step brothers Jihan, non idol, ski resort, roomies, etc...
Warnings: threesome, daddy issues, mean/tsundere cheol, wet dreams, spanking, marking, dirty talk, choking, unprotected sex, pain kink, dacryphilia, breast play, praise, degradation, fingering, oral, hand job, blow job, multiple orgasms, overstim, edging, orgasm denial, manhandling, size kink, cumplay, finger sucking, spit roasting, hair pulling, voyeurism, | petnames: (hers) princess, bitch, whore, baby (s.coups) cheol, douche, dick, daddy (mingyu) gyu.
Summary/Preview: "come on, let’s just go back to snakes and ladders and you can pretend we’re not snowed in with no firewood and a dude you hate locked in the bathroom."
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F*ck, Marry, Kill: With the Experienced by @bitchlessdino
Pairing: fem!reader x ex!mingyu x seungcheol x wonwoo
Genre: smut
Wordcount: 5.6k
Tags: poly, exhibitionism, voyeurism, degradation, pet names (princess), unprotected sex (except cheol), praise kink, spanking, clit slapping, fingering, oral (rec. and giving), u, pussy slapping, ass play, triple penetration
Summary: one dumb party game makes a comeback.
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opalvatter · 2 years ago
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C dramas of 2023 so far…
Honestly, I just fell down the c drama rabbit hole a few months ago so not that many things to report. However, in least to most favourite so far...
5. Love like the Galaxy
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Basically the story of 2 traumatised dumbasses (affectionate) who cause more trauma to each other, mixed in with palace plots, 2 other simps, a bunch of jealous women, far too many characters (including king Wendy and his two wives) and revenge, revenge, revenge and more revenge. And obviously, Love. The classic.
The only reason this is rated this low is because this was way too long to watch and everything else on this list is spectacular.
4. The General's lady
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This show is practically 'scary man who is only nice to his (1) woman.' That is it. That's the story. No one cares about the plot.
This was the first c drama that I watched. And honestly, this story is not that great overall in terms of plot and everything, but has enough sweetness to make me swoon every 10 seconds.
3. Legend of Yunxi.
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The open-ended tragedy of the medicine girl and the fake prince who is supposedly a monster. Not to forget mentioning the million other very important characters and flower valley owner, Mr.secondary love interest. Cold guy, who has a backstory, meets 'ugly' smart girl and tries to kill her at first sight. She runs and meets sweet guy, who has a backstory of his own. turns out, she gets married to cold guy anyway so no point in running. Don't worry, In this story everything is connected.
This was the second drama that I watched and has the most intense plot so far. unpopular opinion: I love the ending! To me, personally, it makes sense.
2.The Eternal Love
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What do you do when you have 3 seasons of the same plot, but repeated falling in love and too much Humour ? You Binge watch only season 1 and ignore the other two.
Season 1 : Bossy, sarcastic Real estate agent gets transmigrated to the past, into the body of a Meek, responsible girl. Drama ensues when the body that now holds two souls, has to get married to the hot brother of OG girl's lover. There is now a love square that only the two girls and their hilarious maid know exist and everyone is confused. The 14th brother's outfits are terrible, the king has a glitter crown, the OG girl's lover gets possessed and now has great eyeliner, everyone has a secret tragic past and there is a demon king who walks around a circle chanting " I'm a bitch " 49 times.
Season 2 : They travel back in time and go back to the future. and only our hot guy knows what happens. and everything happens again. but everything is diffrent and there are now 2 hot guys.
Season 3 : This time, they get transported into an alternate reality where women rule and our Leads get soul swapped into the bodies of the ones in that universe. But, this time, the difference is, this dimension's hot guy is present most of the time and our hot guy only gets released when a memory comes to him. BUT, every time they kiss, he turns back into this universe hot guy, making everyone confused. again.
1. The Romance of Tiger and Rose
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Normal day script writer gets transported into her own story and the only way she can go home is to finish the story without dying. Too bad she gets transported into the body of the mean girl, The hero's first wife who he poisons. Someone who is literally the first person to die. The someone who dies 3 episodes in.
But uh oh! now that she survives, the whole story goes up in flames and while trying to get the hero and heroine (her sister) together, she makes the hero fall for her, makes the heroine turn into the villain and overall fucks up the plot in the worst and best way possible. She didn't even have to try. Oh, and she also made another guy fall in love with her which makes her husband the king of jelousy.
Worthy mention to their Servants, Bai ji and Zi Rui, who each share 1 of their own masters' brain cells and are absolutely done with their masters' constant lovey dovey bullshit.
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deadbydad · 1 year ago
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My Thoughts On Miguel O'Hara (Across The Spider-Verse)
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I have two opinions on this character.
First Opinion: He is an interesting character, kind of attractive, needs a lot of therapy, and he needs a hug.
Second Opinion: What the fuck I wanna beat the shit out of this man and not in a sexy cute way, I want to throw him into a wall. Hard.
Miguel O'Hara is such an interesting character and he has so much depth to him and we barely really know this man and who he is. I am not going to talk about him in the comics so don't even bring those up those don't count right now, I am talking about the Miguel from the movie.
Miguel has such a specific way of thinking, and I think it's both interesting and kind of a problem.
He's so big on these canon events and "not breaking the canon or some fucked up shit is gonna happen", and he's obsessed with this and saving other dimensions because of something he did, which I am gonna talk about.
Miguel saw a universe where he had a family but it was a different version of him, and that version of him fucking died, so Miguel thought that he should take that Miguel's place.
Yeah, that didn't work out the way he wanted it to. He literally destroyed that universe and his not-actual daughter, and that traumatized him.
I have an issue with this, because I thought it was so creepy that he was just watching this other version of himself and that man's daughter, not the actual Miguel's daughter mind you, and just watched them like a fucking hawk. And the whole time this was happening he was wishing he had a family. Bitch, dating apps are a thing!
Before anyone comes at me and starts saying that he was also saving other universes he didn't have time to go out on dates or get married or have kids, if that's true then why the fuck did this man think that he would just replace another version of himself's place just to be with this little girl who actually wasn't even his?
That's fucking creepy! I thought that was fucking creepy!
Was it just a mistake that he didn't really think about the consequences of? Yes!
Should he have done it? Fuck no!
But, he learned from that and is trying to do better and is trying to fix that mistake by not letting that happen again to any other universe.
But dude....you need to sleep for a couple of years, take a fucking chill pill, and actually think about what you're really doing and what's going on instead of watching cameras like a little kid watching Coco-melon on a fucking tablet.
Yes, you broke the canon and you don't want that to happen to anyone, that's great! But you shouldn't be obsessing about something like that it's not healthy.
Okay, I'm done ranting.
Miguel is trying to make up for what he did in the past by saving the dimensions now and in the future. That's great, he's trying to do better.
But he thinks that what he thinks what's best, is the only way to think, that their is no other option. He doesn't think outside the box, his only thinking when it comes to canon events and breaking the canon is 'what happened to me is going to happen to you if that happens.'
But he doesn't really know that for sure.
Miguel is so obsessed with not wanting what happened to him, to happen to someone else. So obsessed that in his head he thinks that his way of thinking is the only way of thinking, that he is always right. He doesn't having an ego that's fucking obvious, but he doesn't think about what's happening in the present.
He's stuck in the past and in the future, he can't really actually think about what's going on.
I'll elaborate more but I'm just going to post what I have right now.
Will make a part 2.
And no miguel simps better fucking show up and say that he's babygirl and he's misunderstood and defending his actions, don't do that.
That man is not an innocent man, he body slammed a fifteen year old into a fucking train and then told him that he was a mistake and wasn't meant to be Spider-Man and that he doesn't belong.
He is an adult man getting mad at a fifteen year old boy because he hurt his fucking feelings, that man needs thirty years of therapy if he got mad because a child told him no.
That's fucking sad.
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luin-no-koibito · 6 months ago
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Shiki's LMJ Liveblog - Case 2
(aka: Holy Shit, Someone Got Killed!)
I took a break between cases 1 and 2 to do one of the daily puzzles and stuff, but now we're back, and we had to hit up the cops directly.
Because murder.
And the paper guy who tried to brand Ernest as "Mr Steal Yo Girl" is back...
But now we gotta go see Hastings (who I'm neutral about).
》In Hastings's office《
He's gone?
Never mind, he's just angsty right now*. Least I found someone's mustache.
*(and a married man)
Still using the walkthrough though!
Hol'up, wait... TWO PEOPLE DIED AND ONLY ONE WAS A MURDER BECAUSE THE OTHER OFFED THEMSELVES!
... Well, seems SOMEONE intended to make the investigation hell for Hastings, but who?
》Meanwhile at another government building...《
Guess it's the mayor.
(And got in an extra 35 picarats from an optional puzzle!)
Eh, back to our mission though!
》mayor's office《
Did some extra looking around and... HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE MASK REFERENCE???
Well, puzzle time! (also side note, the mayor fucking misgendered Sherl)
》one convoluted maze puzzle later《
Holy shit, a legend?? And that's how shit went down now?
*Sees the interactions between Hastings and Lowonida* Haha, Hastings is a simp!
》welp, to the rive- Wait a minute...《
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OOOOOOOOO, MILF ALERT!
"I'm taking this case?" Fuck off, this ain't your game!
[make that "Asshole Milf Alert".]
》Off to the Thames - for real this time《
Aaaaand Katrielle's ADHD energy is shining through again.
Also, doomed het couple NPCs go brrrr.
》other side《
After a surprisingly easy 40 picarat puzzle, we met with a dumbass who was out fishing, who confirmed everything because... he saw it.
Meanwhile Ernest is simping for Kat again, but it came back and bit him in the ass.
》Chancer Lane again《
So the dead people were theater kids (age neutral), huh?
But we got the food minigame at least. Looks like a pain, so saving it for after completing everything required to progress the story
》Sus Bros《
Looks like the dead lady's family don't care about their darn kids...
》the old lady store《
Ernest is simping again, and yeah.
》welp, back to Guildhall《
the dead people have been around a lot lately...
SHERL CANONICALLY SAID "SUS"????
Whatever, there's Hot Profilers In My Area!
》Oh hey, Emiliana Perfetti's back《
Still as sassy as ever, O Hot Profiler In My Area?
Oh, you got a puzzle? Bring it on, bitch!
》one bad guy puzzle later《
Well, Emiliana's stumped, but whatever.
》Mayor's Office 2: The Reckoning《
She has plushies? Mood.
》after another puzzle《
Damn, Mayor, having to "I'm fine" your way through your career like a certain lawyer known for his forehead, huh?
The balcony? Sounds like a trap...
》Balcony time《
Wait... people came more because someone died, huh... sus...
OBJECTION! /ref
Yeah, so... IT WAS ALL A PRANK APPARENTLY AND SHE WAS PLOTTING TO YEET HASTINGS OUT OF THE COPS.
AND WHILE THE SECOND PART FAILED, THE PRANK WENT WELL WITH THE KIDS THESE DAYS.
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monstermaster13 · 11 months ago
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Muppethell: calls Nathan out just because Nathan writes Dan Aykroyd fanfiction, and acts like he/they can speak for Dan Aykroyd
Werebelushi: Muppet, sweetie I'd hate to tell you this but if you don't like his stories, then maybe just maybe they're not for the likes of you. Really? You think they read like porn, oh you poor deluded creature. sarcastically Yes, it is Nathan's fault Dan Aykroyd is so sexy and thicc. Also you have a thing for the Childcatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, okay, why? You do know that dude is supposed to be scary, right? Oh, you developed a fetish for him when you first saw the movie as a teen, huh? Well that exclaims that then. You always were fucked up. Also how cute, you think you can speak for Dan Aykroyd. Dan doesn't know who you are and even if he did, i'd be afraid of you if I was ihm, because if your Martin Short hyperfixation is enough to go by…yikes. I know you're the one who keeps trying to make MartinShortXSteveMartin a thing, they're married and straight for pete's sake, just because they work together doesn't make them gay. And also YOU called Nathan out and called him out on the Simp Central discord server when all Nathan did was be himself. sarcastically Oh noes, Nathan wrote fanfic about someone turning into the very same celebrity you like, horror of horrors. Oh Nathan should be so lucky that it reads like porn, as far as those fics go it doesn't go over PG-13 or R in terms of mature content so you know, Mel rarely does sex scenes or even nude scenes due to how self conscious she is. You would have a heart attack if you discovered Furaffinity, CYOC and Transformania Time exist. Oh yeah especially the latter, let's just say one that starts off as an elderly person turning younger and turning into a muscular demon only to turn into a sexy female demon goes full on Cronenberg meets HP Lovecraft where he/she turns into a writhing mess of body parts. Oh yes, and the horse dildo story in CYOC. Nathan doesn't deny his weirdness in the slightest, in fact he acknowledges it and is revered for it, heck up until you started bitching about him, the people on Simp Central loved him. Oh, your muturals should hear this, huh? What mutuals? Like what person would agree with your bullshit views? No one that's who. Trying to get the other server members to ditch Nathan didn't help your cause. Also fyi calling John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd's 'dead best friend', seriously? Way to undersell John and Dan's friendship, man-bitch. Also if your boyfriend likes you, your brother either has poor taste or he very much was drunk when he first started following you because I can't imagine anyone being attracted to you at all, also lastly…uhh, hello, you left your fucking documentation about your headcanons on a public link that anyone could click on and edit, it's YOUR fault. Nathan just happened to click on it, but hey…I guess now everyone knows how you wanted to adapt new headcanon for the curator character from Alice Cooper's Welcome To My Nightmare. Speaking of which, I am going to make sure that you won't be sleeping for the rest of your life, call me Freddy, because i'm your nightmare on elm street. Fyi, it's just fiction, dude. I am not impersonating Belushi nor do I claim I am him, I am not using his likeness and name for illegal use, it is not like I am making NFTs with Blues Brothers sunglassess or anything. Anyone can dress as Jake or Elwood, it's not a complicated look to pull off, anyone can wear a suit and tie. Besides, multiple Dan Aykroyds going around sounds like fun. I like the idea of being Dan or his characters, except if it's Vic Frohmeyer…I hate that guy. If I was the admin of that server I would have kicked you off instead.
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characteroulette · 2 years ago
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Herlock Sholmes for the askmeme!
Oof okay I'm gonna do like. Pop Culture Sherlock Holmes and also DGS Sholmes because I know enough for two Holmes deargodhelpme
First impression
Sherlock is like. THE Bitch. You see someone making a parady of him and go "Hey I know that bitch!!"
Key point, Sholmes appeared and I was like "oh he's gonna be THAT kind of bitch huh". He's annoyingly endearing. Good character I have wanted to strangle AA characters less.
Impression now
Love that Detective who is so Gay and Ace. Congrats to the newly married couple it's about time.
I still want to strangle Herlock but also. He'd a dad~ He's a dad! Boogie woogie woogie~ you mean to tell me you knew this whole time and you said fucking nothing you bitch
Favorite moment
Yo I love it when Sherlock Holmes comes out and says, "Elementary, my dear Watson!!" I have never read a Sherlock Holmes book lol
okay this might be obvious but. I am a huge sucker for good dad characters. The final scene where Iris says "thank you, dad!" And then Sholmes turns to Mikotoba and goes "I just heard the sweetest expression of thanks and it is all due to you, my dear" HELLO I HAVE BEEN SLAIN AAAAAAGH
Idea for a story
Obvs planning the wedding for such a neurodivergent detective ought to be fun. Three murders he gets to solve at least (Watson my bud I am so sorry lol)
Fuck I already wrote the one where Herlock kills to protect Iris uhhh probs roleswap where Kazuma does get to Britain so he and Herlock can grate against one another their dynamic is underrated actually
Unpopular opinion
This Bitch is actually the biggest Bitch of them all (idk if that's unpopular or not)
Also I'll say it. Y'all love Herlock because he's a pretty blond man. I'll call y'all out for this I literally can't say anything I'm simp for Barok lol
Favorite relationship
Sherlock/Watson because obvs they're getting married finally good for them
I'll ship Herlock with Barok or Mikotoba but obvs my fave dynamic is Herlock and Iris.... Weird parent relationship that has so much love in it.... He lied so much to her it'd be neat to explore all the fallout that came afterwards.
Favorite headcanon
This bitch Ace! Good for him, good for him!!
Herlock was a noble but disowned for Reasons when he turned 18 and so he ran screaming out onto the streets as a consulting detective with barely anything to his name and Mikotoba sort of just adopted him lol. That's it that's the backstory I will always give him.
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multi-fandom-imagine · 3 years ago
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Omg I'm so happy you are writing for the Quarry!
If requests are still open I would love it if you could maybe do a travis/reader where maybe she is his wife who is also infected and he keeps her safe every full moon or something like that 😂
I simp for Ted Raimi ngl
A/n: I too am a simp for this man….so this is set in a AU where Laura and Max went to the hotel and the others aren’t at the camp.
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You were Travis’s Hackett’s loving wife, and polar opposite of your husband which was why his mother did not like you.
‘Too out spoke!’
‘Has a smart mouth.’
‘Gold digger too, why else would she be with you’
Well maybe you wouldn’t have such a smart mouth if they treated the man you loved with respect.
“Fucking bitch.”
“What did you say darling?” Travis was packing for you both. He was taking you to where you’d be locked up for the night.
“I said your mother is a fucking bitch.”
Letting out a snort, Travis placed the bags down then lent on giving your head a kiss. “Ain’t that the truth.”
The man was always amazed by how someone like you would even be attracted to a guy like him. A pretty young woman? He couldn’t wrap his head around it , he constantly would be reminded by his mother about it.
Placing your hands on your hips you couldn’t help but fume at what Chris told you before he left to lock himself up with his kids. “Why are you married to my boy” you did your best to mimic the old woman’s voice. As if it was hard to grasp the concept that you loved Travis, she did not know how kind he was to you. That the moment he found out you got bitten by Silas.
She didn’t know that Travis was out in the woods alone, looking for Silas so he could cure you. She didn’t know how he’d stay by your side even in the state you were in. Shaking your head you forced a smile on your face as your wrapped your arms around his neck giving him a soft kiss, the man eagerly returning it. “I love you Travis. Don’t ever doubt that. You’re my protector.” You teased softly placing a hand on his cheek, the man leaning into your hand.
“Well I do remember you saying you like a man in uniform.” He did his best to tease you back as he then grasped your hand though a small frowned formed on his lips. “I promise you, I will find that bastard and I will kill him.”
Sighing your pressed your nose into his neck, it was going to be dark soon and you’d rather not kill your husband. “I know you will Travis.”
And true to his word, Travis kept his promise. His mother finally telling him he did something right.
But none of that matter to him, none of it mattered because he could finally hold you in his arms under a full moon.
“You’re my hero Travis Hackett.”
“And you’re mine Y/N Hackett.”
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frogtanii · 4 years ago
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iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.
the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.
wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.
hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.
it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.
iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.
over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.
hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.
he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.
god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.
“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...
oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.
hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”
the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”
“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.
“look, i-“
“iwa-chan, i’m-“
they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.
hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”
toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”
he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”
iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.
“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”
all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.
a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.
“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.
they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—
“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”
the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.
“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.
iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.
hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”
and then he was gone.
toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.
apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.
you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.
“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”
toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”
you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.
“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.
inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.
you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.
“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.
he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.
later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.
dear yn,
i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.
i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.
you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.
uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.
sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.
he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.
anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.
take care of yourself,
iwaizumi hajime
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℗ poker face
so... this is it
series masterlist
(●’◡’●)���
an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
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the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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leucoratia · 3 years ago
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My take on Jojo characters’ sexuality (Part 2)
See part 1 here. I had to make a part 2 because I couln’t fit in all of my tags.
-From part 4 to 5 because I haven’t seen Stone Ocean and the rest yet. But there’s a lotta characters in part 4 and 5 so ey
Tw: mentions of sex, not proofred we die like men.
PART 4: DIAMOND IS UNBREAKABLE
Josule Higashikata: bisexual demiromantic
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Idk. Not really sure about that one so up to be debated. I feel josuke would fuck anyone but romance? Nah you gotta go 45-steps with this man. Takes slowburn to a whole other level.
Okuyasu Nijimura: pure bisexual
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Yea he’s bi. Gay for Josuke but bi still. He will za hando and za finger probably anyone. The one and only true bisexual. 
Gets no bitches tho sorry Okuyasu you deserved better but you have no game
Koichi, Kira and Yukako: extremely straight
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Like have you seen their vibes they’re straight as hell. As for Kira I raise: he literally simps for the Mona Lisa and collects female hands don’t tell me there’s repressed homosexuality here my man is so unhinged if he was gay he would make himself a realistic dildo collection by collecting mumified penises. Kira is STRAIGHT.
(Sorry David Bowie you deserved so much better you queer icon)
Kishibe Rohan: aromantic pansexual
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Rohan fucks SEVERELY. At least in theory because we know he got no game  he’s 10000% a virgin. Like. Every gender gets our man going in bed but he’s got 0 action bcs have you seen him he might be extremely hot but he’s so damn awkward. His vibes are all over the place. He would probably eat one of your toenails for “art and accuracy”. Hence no one wants to get within a 20-foot radius of Rohan Kishibe. I’d let him hit tho. Then he’ll finally know what sex is like.
Aromantic. Got no time for all that “romance” bs. Literally cringes watching romcoms and seeing couples in the street. People may think it’s because he’s jaleous (no game, remember?) but really he’s just grossed out.
PART 5: GOLDEN WIND
Giorno Giovana: aro-ace king
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Our King is declared ARO/ACE. Giorno knows what sex is but doesn’t fuck. He got more important things to deal with, like idk running the fucking italian mafia. His one true love is justice and equality makes him hard. He’s too pure for all of you wretched souls out there. He’d be happy to bromance you though.
Bruno Bucciarati: bi
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My sweet prince is also cursed with bisexuality but contrary to other bis such as Polnareff he FUCKS. His tongue game is too insane for him to get no bitches I’m sorry (when did this become a “who has game” tierlist-). Anyways yes Certified Freak Bruno likes everyone his heart and legs are open for all. I don’t feel like he would have a preference for a particular gender but feel free to argue with me in the comments. I wish I had more to write about my blorbo but. Well. No thoughts head empty rn.
Leone Abbacchio: omni
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Our man is a proud omnisexual/omniromantic! Plus the flag fits his aesthetic very well so slay king for having the sexuality that goes with your vibe. Honestly yes this label fits. He’s omni. He’s too dead inside to care about gender but keeps it in the back of his mind. 
Married to Bruno (canon doesn’t exist sorry) and will def gossip about other ppl with his husband.
Guido Mista: female-leaning bisexual
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Tbh Mista doesn’t seem to be the type of person to bother with labels. He just fucks. So here have bisexuality. He would be more into women because of his tendency to bromance every male he encouters but he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to explore the matters of the flesh with other guys. Slay.
Panacotta Fugo: aro-ace
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Our favourite calm and collected guyTM is certified aroace! I have absolutely NO DOUBTS. HE IS AROACE. (sex-repulsed also bcs well trauma and he also legit thinks it’s a disgusting waste of time). May he and Giogio create the perfect aroace mafioso team. Cleanse Italy from all of the wretched and perverted souls like Diavolo and Bucciarati children, gooo.
Narancia Ghirga: polyamorous
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I have murdered my brain and soul trying to find a queer orientation for our soft bean Narancia and tbh only polyamorous seems to fit. He want to share the love yk. About his gender preferences? I gave up. I simply cannot concieve Narancia being in a relationship/having sex. No. Too young. Too pure. What do you mean he’s 17 hence older than Fugo/Giorno as well as only two years younger than me? Nope. He’s 12. I don’t give a shit. I will not think about Narancia’s private business ever. He’s just poly take it or leave it.
Diavolo/Doppio: pan
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Male Thot Enemy of the State Diavolo and Unhinged Pure Bean Doppio are both PAN! Difference being Diavolo fucks while Doppio gets fucked. Diavolo my blorbo is kind of Dio-like in his attraction. Because he’s a hot dilf he always gets what he wants. Doppio would be more reserved tbh.
Diavolo is secretly a huge sub tho. I rest my case the evidence is in the show.
Trish Una: Lesbian
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Bro it’s soooo obvious she’s literally gay as hell I have nothing more to say except that Trish likes GIRLS.
Risotto Nero and Melone: pan as well
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Many pansexuals out there and these two are going on the team. Melone in a unhinged way specifically. Risotto wouln’t necessarly label himself, he’d probably be down for everything. Also is there a freak-ass bitch flag? Because these two need it fr. Melone probably has a Christian Grey lookin ass sex dungeon for sure. Melone is a playful switch. Ris a soft switch who secretly likes to bottom. I rest my case once again.
Ghiaccio: gay
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Had to make a separate one for Ghiaccio because I cannot imagine this man being into women and generaly female-passing mfs. He’s soooo into men. Extremely homosexual.
I won’t be making headcanons for everyone in La Squadra because I simply do not give a fuck about most of them.
Loving how there is not a single heterosexual in Golden wind. Perfect. Truly the best Jojo part.
Part 3 of this post coming whenever I’ll get up to date on Stone Ocean/SBR/Jojolion Ig. Ask box open as always kids. Please send me headcanons or prompts I’m so fucking bored-
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