team dragonborn dashboard simulator
🗡️ dragonguard_kaidan Follow
I want everyone to know that @ thlmr.tal has a history of racist behavior, and you can see it clearly in his old posts. It's not a surprise that he still wears the robes of an organization known for gen*cide.
🐱 thlmr.tal Follow
You scrolled past all the pictures of my cats on my blog to get to my old posts (from years ago, mind you), and you still left salty?
🌱 greenauri Follow
that in no way excuses what kaidan accused you of?
🐱 thlmr.tal Follow
Ah. Well, I have a knack for brushing off my problematic elements.
718 notes
🌼 prince.cary Follow
just as a reminder, i am no longer affiliated with the thalmor. in fact, i actively speak out against them quite often.
🌼 prince.cary
update: my father found my blog and thereby my location due to the attention this post got. will be going offline for a while
22,467 notes
👹 rumarin Follow
about to try this new type of skooma since i don't see anyone else doing it
👹 rumarin
this skooma aint shit
👹 rumarin
who am i . what am ido ing here?
👹 rumarin
ithink i i h9 myslef
👹 rumarin
hmster
👹 rumarin
th dragobnorn wasrigh .t i tinki shld see a teraphist
👹 rumarin
update: it went well 👍
🐉 ldb Follow
ru what the fuck
🥴 elffcker96 Follow
we love you king but you should get help
5,302 notes
😈 bluecatinigo Follow
INIGO THE BRAVE
Volume II, Part V
Inigo was meandering past a farm, when suddenly he was caught in a surprise rainstorm. He ran for cover on the farm's porch, and the door promptly opened behind him. Within stood a tall farmer of unspecified gender and race.
"Come in, friend! The rain can be dreadful, but I have made some soup to get the chill out," said the farmer.
Inigo was grateful for the hospitality, and he followed the farmer inside.
-------------------------------Keep reading-------------------------------
📜 scholarlucien Follow
Enlightening update! I did not see the plot twist coming. Glad Inigo survived that dragon attack :)
476 notes
🌱 greenauri Follow
i'm tired of EVERYTHING. i want to leave this party right now.
🌱 greenauri
yes, inigo and lucien were eating sweetrolls in front of me again
7,564 notes
🐺 rangerbishop Follow
A woman in a tavern is a red flag. I saw three yesterday laughing together at the Sleeping Giant Inn and I immediately knew something was up. Avoid these wenches at all costs. All they want is your coin.
🪲 thecuntress Follow
yesss pop off king
👑 sapphicmonarch Follow
saw this guy getting his ass kicked by a MUDCRAB on my way to markarth. in case ur wondering i did not help him
🌩️ drowstorm Follow
this dude asked me out. he made me pay for both our drinks btw
🗡️ dragonguard_kaidan Follow
go to hell you you piece of hsit
🐊 lucifer.the.argonian Follow
you know this site is predominantly non-men right? idk what kind of audience you were expecting but you will not find it here
👊 mickeysdicksmasherthelorefriendlykhajiit Follow
this mf needs to SHUT UP
632 notes
🐱 thlmr.tal Follow
reblog if you would fuck the LDB
🐉 ldb Follow
taliesin why would you post this
🐱 thlmr.tal Follow
I need to scout out my competition.
72,890 notes
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Bishop: the dragonborns an open book, just like any woman and I know how to read between her lines~
Kaidan: Oh so you’re into book analogies eh? Here’s one for ya then, a woman is not written in Braille. Touch her again and I’ll shove my sword so far up your arse you’ll be able to taste how full of shit you are on the back of your tongue.
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Sure Kaidan would kill Bishop but he'd opt for just the usual smash with sword however Lucien flavius would kill Bishop with a smile on his face, like he'd just stand there and burn him alive with a friendly little smile
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Lydia: Ummm, my thane Guess who's here?
*Excited*Ldb: My date?!
Lydia: Your husband
Lucien: They have a wife *points at Remi*, not a husband. Call the guards!
Bishop: Her Ex-Husband.
Lucien: I'll call the guards.
Ldb: How tf you still alive?
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Bishop: you think you had a rough childhood?! My own mother sold my soul to Mara! Most of my childhood all I had were branches to keep me warm!
Kaidan: firstly, the Aedra don’t work like that, your mother sold your soul to something pretending to be mara and maybe if you stop being such a dick to the dragonborn they’ll help you get it back. And secondly, the thalmor led a genocide against my people leaving me orphaned only to be raised by a drunkard who dragged me all across tambriel making me learn to fight and fend for myself before I could even read. He dropped dead before he could tell me anything about my past I became a drunk and a drug addict, I committed horrible atrocities that haunt me every time I close my eyes, and to top it all off I spent the last year being viciously tortured by the thalmor like they’d done to my kin. *sighs* And thirdly, I’m sorry you had a hard childhood. But that’s not an excuse for you to be a wanker.
Bishop: …
Dragonborn: … *pours Kai a drink*
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Y/N: Well, I have a date too.
Bishop: Who is he? What’s his name?
Y/N: His name is… not important. What’s important is, he’s better than you, in every single conceivable way.
Bishop: DAMN, Y/N. THAT COULD BE ANYBODY.
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