#Kaidan had such a horrible past and he’s just a big teddy bear

[wellthebardsdead]

Bishop: you think you had a rough childhood?! My own mother sold my soul to Mara! Most of my childhood all I had were branches to keep me warm!

Kaidan: firstly, the Aedra don’t work like that, your mother sold your soul to something pretending to be mara and maybe if you stop being such a dick to the dragonborn they’ll help you get it back. And secondly, the thalmor led a genocide against my people leaving me orphaned only to be raised by a drunkard who dragged me all across tambriel making me learn to fight and fend for myself before I could even read. He dropped dead before he could tell me anything about my past I became a drunk and a drug addict, I committed horrible atrocities that haunt me every time I close my eyes, and to top it all off I spent the last year being viciously tortured by the thalmor like they’d done to my kin. *sighs* And thirdly, I’m sorry you had a hard childhood. But that’s not an excuse for you to be a wanker.

Bishop: …

Dragonborn: … *pours Kai a drink*