#bisexualbonnet

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

Hey! If you don't mind sharing, can I ask what surprised you most in the responses you got to the Theon survey? Any trends in fandom opinions that you hadn't expected?

Sorry this took so long! I originally wasn't intending on giving my own opinions on this but I will take this chance so I can rant! Thanks a lot. : )

1. Do you think Theon was sexually repressed before his torture by Ramsay?

This one showed some of the dangers of phrasing and how depending on the words we choose people will have very different reactions. Overall it was one of the most fascinating ones for me to read. One of my favourite things to come out of this simply because of how hilarious the dissonance was.

There is this very common take that has been spread by very popular Theonblogs about pre-torture Theon being sexually repressed (and often in modern aus or more lighthearted takes) a homophobic homosexual and it has always bothered me tremendously. I fully disagree.

Theon comes from the Iron Islands, a place that is more open to less defined gender and sexual roles (Asha and Qarl have their entire gnc-cnc thing going on, Hagen's daughter openly asks Tris and then another Ironborn for sex and there is no social stigma around this, and Victarion (sadly) doesn't really show a lot of concern or disgust at his ironborn raping a young maester), the text implies he has been involved in a threesome with Patrek Mallister (another man), and he doesn't seem to mind taking a more sexually submissive role when having sex with women (Esgred, being Kyra's little spoon). He might even find it more enjoyable if we think of his enthusiasm when interacting with Esgred as opposed to the captain's daughter.

More often than not it seemed to me this entire concept of him being sexually repressed/homophobic homosexual was based more on flanderization than actual text.

So, when I asked "Do you think Theon was sexually repressed before his torture by Ramsay?" (meaning: Do you think ACOK/AGOT/Pre-ASOIAF/Modern AU Theon is sexually repressed?) I expected an abundance of "Yes" and hopefully some argumentation. Instead, what I got was a misunderstanding. Many people, especially throbb shippers, who had previously, when speaking about what they enjoy in their respective ships, talked about some form of sexually repressed/closeted in denial Theon, took the words "Do you think Theon was sexually repressed before his torture by Ramsay?" as "Do you think Ramsay was Theon's sexual awakening?" and holly hell I did not mean that but I love it that their brains went in there! There is some subconscious acknowledgement in there.

The numbers between "Yes" vs "No" almost ended in a tie but it was only because a majority of those who said "no" interpreted the question very differently. I know for a fact a few of them have liked/reblogged sexually repressed Theon takes but then were almost outrageous about what they thought I implied and fully defended a sexually comfortable non-repressed pre-torture Theon. One of them even cursed me for what they thought I was hinting at. Very fun. Not quite a piss on the poor situation but still very enjoyable.

2. Ships

One of the dangers of doing these type of projects and allowing people anonymity is that many of them will forsake decency in order to spill out things without any real nuisance or consideration for others.

I encountered three types of reactions when it came to thoughts on the ship you like engaging with the least.

a) A short and brief "It makes me uncomfortable/It's uninteresting to me/It just irks me the wrong way, no hate to the shippers" or something among those lines

b) A relatively long analysis explaining to me in detail why, often with well-founded criticism that doesn't feel malicious or born out of petty competition: "Most of the fanwork focusing on it is very pro-Stark and I dislike how Robb is whitewashed / The way Ramsay's abuse is framed by the fans feels very divergent from the canon dynamic once they allow Theon enough agency to give consent / Book Theonsa barely exists, it's just show Theonsa and thus it often implies things about Theon's redemption arc that I don't agree with / I think adding romantic undertones to his relationship with Jeyne diminishes the selflessness of him rescuing her / Jon and him can mainly bond over things that are holding them back in their development and identity arcs, the wish to be a Stark, so I wouldn't want their relationship to become very intimate."

c) The dreaded and hateful "People who like [insert ship] are [insert insult] and I wish they would [insert harmful action]" often based on very hypocritical and not well thought argumentation. "How dare you ship him with a child?!" said by person who also ships him with a child. "That relationship could never be consensual because of the power imbalance" said by person who also ship him with someone who clearly holds power over him. "TaKe OfF tHe StArK GoGgLeS!" said by person who is wearing them too. Or the less hypocritical but equally disrespectful in the sense that it tries to limit interpretations and engagement with more niche parts of the fandom "Why'd you ship him with [insert ship] when [insert more popular ship] is right there?!"

And to be honest, I loved getting the b) variation! It was the rarest one, with sadly the c) variation being the most common but there was still a lot more of it than I expected there would be and it was so fun! Even when I didn't agree with an argument, or when it went against one of my ships (Out of the 5 options I listed in the survey the only ones I actively search for are Greysnow and Theyne, I occasionally go to thramsay but rarely to "shippy" works because I am only interested in it as pure horror, and usually I feel uncomfortable by the Stark involving ones so I avoid them) getting to interact with friendly criticism instead of straight up hate was so refreshing and oddly exciting. Like, yes! Give me your insight!

The examples I listed on the b) option are all paraphrased opinions that were submitted and the only one I disagree on is the Greysnow one, but even so it was explained so respectfully and without this sense of superiority and self-righteousness of "I understand the character and story better than those shippers!" so it still felt like something worth reading.

Happily surprised to see how some saw the window for complaints and took the opportunity to give actual complaints.

I block people for the mildest annoying thing they do and part of me regrets it because of the echo chamber I'm building around myself, but I think we should also be able to differentiate between "Hate" and criticism. Every now and then I remember that post on "I like being a hater" and no! I don't think most people like being haters, but when fair and valid concerns get dismissed as "hate" it becomes frustrating. Option c) is hate. Option b) is interesting and often constructive!

And the opposite also holds!

Throbb specifically is a ship I never understood the appeal of and disliked engaging with but a few of the responses explaining why people enjoy it opened my eyes about it. They offered perspectives I hadn't considered in the past and to some extent they made me more tolerant.

Some examples (including things I don't really agree with but still found insightful and interesting):

I only mildly dabble in shipping in asoiaf at all, however Throbb Is nice as when its done well It tends to have a lot of what I like (kidfic, canon divergences with some political element and happening around the early ACOK node, very specific hurt comfort dynamics, role reversals (enjoy Robb Is the one who had to experience Ramsay AUs even) exploration of the cultural/identity issues through conflicing loyalty etc . It rigorously has to be by people who love Theon better than Robb though

I'm someone where I will take whatever I can get tbh. All of the above. I do really enjoy stories where Robb is a darker character though, and relishes in the power he holds over Theon. Also just like playing with the theme of the Starks being wolves? And how the Ironborn were called like sea wolves by those in the riverlands and westerlands. It's very fun. I also do indulge in modern AUs where Theon is an unofficial member of the Starks. It's just very comfy. I like it less-so in canon fics because I think it very much writes off Ironborn culture in place of Northern culture. I am picky with them though because some of them are very much in the lane of "the Starks can do no wrong" and nope, the Starks can and have.

I am truly here for literally any Theon ship and they all appeal to me in different ways for different reasons. Robb and Theon - Personally I think it's really interesting how Robb is upheld as this very honourable gentleman-type but he never calls out Theon on his horrible treatment of women or other uncouth behaviour and it's suggested he actually kind of admires him for it? It gives me the impression that Robb lives vicariously through Theon a little bit and I'm fascinated by the idea of them being devoted to each other but also jealous of each other? We never see Robb's POV in the books but I think he's interesting to view through a lens of a young guy with an immense amount of pressure and responsibility on his shoulders (even before Ned dies he has the responsibility of being heir and the pressure to live up to the Stark name). I imagine that Theon is one of the few people Robb felt he could be himself around without any pressure to be respectable or honourable. He probably craves the relative freedom Theon has whole Theon longs for the status and respect that Robb has. It's an interesting dynamic! Also there's the fact that Robb is literally the only person who likes Theon and trusts him when no one else does which makes it even more heartbreaking when he betrays him. 

This last sentence I marked on blue was so captivating because it opened a can of worms regarding ACOK-ASOS Robb and how much he seems to be imitating Theon's own (failed) leadership, which, yes, we have tons of meta exploring their similitudes but combined with the "Theon treats women horribly" take (in my opinion, yes but not much worse that the rest of men in the story) makes me think of Robb's dubiously consensual relationship with Jeyne W after he and his army take over her castle and Theon having Kyra be brought to him after he takes Winterfell (and a few weeks later raping her). Interesting things to dwell on.

3. (Anti) Sansa-Dany (Stan)

Something that surprised me positively was that the division between Anti-Sansa/Anti-Dany was a lot less present than I usually perceived it to be. The majority was sympathetic to both without seeing one as a villain and the other as a hero. There were still more Sansa stans than Dany stans but it was much less extreme than I thought. I wonder if this is tied to the show fandom dying and people being more aware about thematic and textual similitudes between Dany & Theon and Sansa & Dany now that the show-made dynamics have been fading. People have been slowly realising that Theon being devoted to a Stark might not be the hill we want him to die on and that Daenerys' ambition for the throne is similarly to Theon also motivated by a deep longing for home.

There is still a preference for Sansa but the animosity for Dany was much less than I expected and that made me very happy. Very proud of the Theon fandom for this!

Thanks for asking again. It's very nice of you to show interest and I hope this hasn't ben very disappointing.

[mychemicalrachel]

pov: you’re in a horror movie

1. create your own look here

2. find out what role you are here

Ooooooh this is may be my favorite thing I've ever been tagged to do, this was so fun. Thanks so much @miseria-fortes-viros for tagging me 🙏 the thread was getting a bit long so I posted my own results here!

I don't know who to tag!! I dont have many horror mutuals so I picked people who i thought might be into this (no pressure if not): @deklo @we--are---not--afraid @bisexualbonnet @vamptious @werewolffeelings 🖤🖤

[ellethakallabeth]

Tag Game

Tag Game

Rules: tag 10 ppl you want to get to know better.

Thanks @bisexualbonnet! Never done one of these before haha

Relationship Status: eternally single tbh I somehow end up always getting bored at around the 3 month mark

Favourite Colour: green, almost everything I buy ends up being green. clothes, house stuff, etc. at this point people are surprised if I buy stuff in other colours and idk what to tell you I never even really think about it, it’s just really nice

Stuck in my head: we finished Amor Despues del Amor at home recently so I’ve got Ambar Violeta (Fito Paez, for the non argies out there) stuck in my head all over again, the scene in the bar is fucking beautiful

Last Song I listened to: eh I’m going through a slight mental breakdown this month and I often revert back to Twenty One Pilots when that happens. the last song that played was Chlorine but I can’t really say I was actually listening

3 favourite foods: lomitos (but like the amazing kind my uncle makes at home), lamb madras, cannelloni (especially when I’m hungover)

Last thing I googled: I think I googled how much paracetamol I could take while on my meds last night

Dream Trip: I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand tbh I have an unhealthy childhood relationship with lotr so I probably would die happy afterwards

My tags: @biwifeenergia @estrella-creek @ukulelegodparent @gorgondrifter @japanicancat

that’s not 10 but whatever

[sassmar]

get to know me tag game

rules: tag 10 ppl you want to get to know better

tysm for the tag @maybebabyplease @everythingbutcoldfire @fruity-individual !! <3 sry it took me way too long to get around to this :)

relationship status: it's just sooooo complicated (devil emoji)

favourite colour: rainbow

stuck in my head: casimir pulaski day by sufjan stevens

last song i listened to: also ^^ lol

3 favourite foods: eee idk ,, foods are just all so good? had a rly yummy smoothie this morning .....

last thing i googled: sonia sanchez

dream trip: nara park to see the friendly deer <3<3

ok usually i forget everyone in existence other than like 3 ppl when these tag games hit me so ! i am for once DELIBERATELY looking at my lovely mutuals trying to pick ppl i do not knowwww very wellllll so here we go

@a-fiery-fox @amethystheart2421 @bisexualbonnet @fable-and-folly @mostlyoptimisticdinosaur @safefromheartbreak @ivedonemywaiting @anaxandria-writes @nixies @greenvlvetcouch no pressure whatsoever y'all

[lordiavoloremade]

i see you posting about the heard v depp case but honestly i have no idea what happened(?) can you tell me what's going on? (very briefly, no need to say the whole deal if you don't feel like it) i don't even know who's in the wrong now. all i know is that people who are making memes out of this are dumb

this is going to be really short (and i HIGHLY suggest checking out the original sources and deciding for yourself because even if you trust me i am just a stranger on the internet and have my own biases, so dont take everything i say as gospel) this is pretty quickly summed up and i may have missed somethings, so i highly reccomend getting more than just my voice as a source. also if you or any of my followers just want to ignore this i totally understand and respect that, and this post is not to put pressure on anyone to post about my views on the case, just to inform those who would like to hear.

in 2016 amber heard wrote an article about her experiences w dv and did not name depp but it was assumed. she had mass support in the beginning and this was right before the start of the metoo movement. flash forward to now where depp has chosen to publically engage in a defamation trial (he purposefully went to virginia to do this case, in order for it to be livestreamed. its pretty impossible to win a case as a public figure for defamation, so his goal here isnt to get a verdict its to destroy heard and further tramuatize her in what is known as litigation abuse). now because people have been looking for an excuse to not believe metoo for a while, everyone and their mother has hoped onto johnny depps dick despite all of the evidence supporting all of amber heards claims. this is a guy who did blackface in the 2010s, and sent texts to his friend saying he wanted to murder and r*pe heards dead body. yet people believe that amber heard is a "narccisisitic" (people with cluster b mental illnesses are more likely to be hurt by others but whatever) female abuser and depp is their poor innocent male victim. if you try to say he isnt a victim of dv and is the perpetrator people tell you youre not supporting male victims even though he is not a victim (abusers will often use the "you were the abuser" tactic). most people who are on depps side are getting their information from youtubers (who have no qualifications, this INCLUDES people who are talking about body language like its a science, its not) and tiktoks (even worse). if you look at the evidence (i will link an article and a video below) all of it shows heard is innocent, and all shes guilty of is fighting back when she was being physically attacked. to make it worse depps fans have been attacking anyone (i guarentee you ill get more depp anons after this) who disagrees with the notion that depp is an abuser. his team is using unjust tactics like withess intimidation, to sway things to their side. as a victim of abuse i feel really passionately and horrifed by what i am seeing so thats why i post so much about it.

overall people just want another gabby petito. a pretty thin young dead white woman, because if youre anything else than the world doesnt see you as the victim.

sources:

https://youtu.be/Ec7o2uJeFDE

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2022/05/modern-celebrity-fandom-johnny-depp-amber-heard-trial/629887/

blogs that im following regarding this case:

@justiceamberheard @valkyriesexual @bisexualbonnet

you can also check out my "depp heard case /" tag which has everything ive rbd so far. just make sure youre on my blog and click the tag below this post to get there.

[gaygoetia]

imogen-tumult > bisexualbonnet

(almost went with spanishjackiesdeadhusband but thought it was a bit long)