#biologists!! use those fucks!!

[di3nt3s]

you guys... excel dynamic table and graphs will save your life bro, this shit fucks! processing data has never been easier and more fun

[vanweezer]

looking at my old neds declassified posts and shaking my head to show that i disapprove of the institution of childrens show rewatch podcasts

[polarisbear]

i’ve been in a mood.

[image id 1: a sketch of dr. radio, aventurine, and ruan mei. the men have had slight redesigns while ruan mei has a whole new outfit.

image id 2: a sketch of sparkle from honkai star rail. she’s been slightly redesigned.

image id 2: a sketch of two redesign ideas for the vivid bad squad version of hatsune miku. one has an asymmetric button up while the other is an adjustment of the 2nd anniversary design.]

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Epic Systems, a lethal health record monopolist

Epic Systems makes the dominant electronic health record (EHR) system in America; if you're a doctor, chances are you are required to use it, and for every hour a doctor spends with a patient, they have to spend two hours doing clinically useless bureaucratic data-entry on an Epic EHR.

How could a product so manifestly unfit for purpose be the absolute market leader? Simple: as Robert Kuttner describes in an excellent feature in The American Prospect, Epic may be a clinical disaster, but it's a profit-generating miracle:

https://prospect.org/health/2024-10-01-epic-dystopia/

At the core of Epic's value proposition is "upcoding," a form of billing fraud that is beloved of hospital administrators, including the "nonprofit" hospitals that generate vast fortunes that are somehow not characterized as profits. Here's a particularly egregious form of upcoding: back in 2020, the Poudre Valley Hospital in Ft Collins, CO locked all its doors except the ER entrance. Every patient entering the hospital, including those receiving absolutely routine care, was therefore processed as an "emergency."

In April 2020, Caitlin Wells Salerno – a pregnant biologist – drove to Poudre Valley with normal labor pains. She walked herself up to obstetrics, declining the offer of a wheelchair, stopping only to snap a cheeky selfie. Nevertheless, the hospital recorded her normal, uncomplicated birth as a Level 5 emergency – comparable to a major heart-attack – and whacked her with a $2755 bill for emergency care:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/27/crossing-a-line/#zero-fucks-given

Upcoding has its origins in the Reagan revolution, when the market-worshipping cultists he'd put in charge of health care created the "Prospective Payment System," which paid a lump sum for care. The idea was to incentivize hospitals to provide efficient care, since they could keep the difference between whatever they spent getting you better and the set PPS amount that Medicare would reimburse them. Hospitals responded by inventing upcoding: a patient with controlled, long-term coronary disease who showed up with a broken leg would get coded for the coronary condition and the cast, and the hospital would pocket both lump sums:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/13/a-punch-in-the-guts/#hayek-pilled

The reason hospital administrators love Epic, and pay gigantic sums for systemwide software licenses, is directly connected to the two hours that doctors spent filling in Epic forms for every hour they spend treating patients. Epic collects all that extra information in order to identify potential sources of plausible upcodes, which allows hospitals to bill patients, insurers, and Medicare through the nose for routine care. Epic can automatically recode "diabetes with no complications" from a Hierarchical Condition Category code 19 (worth $894.40) as "diabetes with kidney failure," code 18 and 136, which gooses the reimbursement to $1273.60.

Epic snitches on doctors to their bosses, giving them a dashboard to track doctors' compliance with upcoding suggestions. One of Kuttner's doctor sources says her supervisor contacts her with questions like, "That appointment was a 2. Don’t you think it might be a 3?"

Robert Kuttner is the perfect journalist to unravel the Epic scam. As a journalist who wrote for The New England Journal of Medicine, he's got an insider's knowledge of the health industry, and plenty of sources among health professionals. As he tells it, Epic is a cultlike, insular company that employs 12.500 people in its hometown of Verona, WI.

The EHR industry's origins start with a GW Bush-era law called the HITECH Act, which was later folded into Obama's Recovery Act in 2009. Obama provided $27b to hospitals that installed EHR systems. These systems had to more than track patient outcomes – they also provided the data for pay-for-performance incentives. EHRs were already trying to do something very complicated – track health outcomes – but now they were also meant to underpin a cockamamie "incentives" program that was supposed to provide a carrot to the health industry so it would stop killing people and ripping off Medicare. EHRs devolved into obscenely complex spaghetti systems that doctors and nurses loathed on sight.

But there was one group that loved EHRs: hospital administrators and the private companies offering Medicare Advantage plans (which also benefited from upcoding patients in order to soak Uncle Sucker):

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8649706/

The spread of EHRs neatly tracks with a spike in upcharging: "from 2014 through 2019, the number of hospital stays billed at the highest severity level increased almost 20 percent…the number of stays billed at each of the other severity levels decreased":

https://oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/OEI-02-18-00380.pdf

The purpose of a system is what it does. Epic's industry-dominating EHR is great at price-gouging, but it sucks as a clinical tool – it takes 18 keystrokes just to enter a prescription:

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2729481

Doctors need to see patients, but their bosses demand that they satisfy Epic's endless red tape. Doctors now routinely stay late after work and show up hours early, just to do paperwork. It's not enough. According to another one of Kuttner's sources, doctors routinely copy-and-paste earlier entries into the current one, a practice that generates rampant errors. Some just make up random numbers to fulfill Epic's nonsensical requirements: the same source told Kuttner that when prompted to enter a pain score for his TB patients, he just enters "zero."

Don't worry, Epic has a solution: AI. They've rolled out an "ambient listening" tool that attempts to transcribe everything the doctor and patient say during an exam and then bash it into a visit report. Not only is this prone to the customary mistakes that make AI unsuited to high-stakes, error-sensitive applications, it also represents a profound misunderstanding of the purpose of clinical notes.

The very exercise of organizing your thoughts and reflections about an event – such as a medical exam – into a coherent report makes you apply rigor and perspective to events that otherwise arrive as a series of fleeting impressions and reactions. That's why blogging is such an effective practice:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

The answer to doctors not having time to reflect and organize good notes is to give them more time – not more AI. As another doctor told Kuttner: "Ambient listening is a solution to a self-created problem of requiring too much data entry by clinicians."

EHRs are one of those especially hellish public-private partnerships. Health care doctrine from Reagan to Obama insisted that the system just needed to be exposed to market forces and incentives. EHRs are designed to allow hospitals to win as many of these incentives as possible. Epic's clinical care modules do this by bombarding doctors with low-quality diagnostic suggestions with "little to do with a patient’s actual condition and risks," leading to "alert fatigue," so doctors miss the important alerts in the storm of nonsense elbow-jostling:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5058605/

Clinicians who actually want to improve the quality of care in their facilities end up recording data manually and keying it into spreadsheets, because they can't get Epic to give them the data they need. Meanwhile, an army of high-priced consultants stand ready to give clinicians advise on getting Epic to do what they need, but can't seem to deliver.

Ironically, one of the benefits that Epic touts is its interoperability: hospitals that buy Epic systems can interconnect those with other Epic systems, and there's a large ecosystem of aftermarket add-ons that work with Epic. But Epic is a product, not a protocol, so its much-touted interop exists entirely on its terms, and at its sufferance. If Epic chooses, a doctor using its products can send files to a doctor using a rival product. But Epic can also veto that activity – and its veto extends to deciding whether a hospital can export their patient records to a competing service and get off Epic altogether.

One major selling point for Epic is its capacity to export "anonymized" data for medical research. Very large patient data-sets like Epic's are reasonably believed to contain many potential medical insights, so medical researchers are very excited at the prospect of interrogating that data.

But Epic's approach – anonymizing files containing the most sensitive information imaginable, about millions of people, and then releasing them to third parties – is a nightmare. "De-identified" data-sets are notoriously vulnerable to "re-identification" and the threat of re-identification only increases every time there's another release or breach, which can used to reveal the identities of people in anonymized records. For example, if you have a database of all the prescribing at a given hospital – a numeric identifier representing the patient, and the time and date when they saw a doctor and got a scrip. At any time in the future, a big location-data breach – say, from Uber or a transit system – can show you which people went back and forth to the hospital at the times that line up with those doctor's appointments, unmasking the person who got abortion meds, cancer meds, psychiatric meds or other sensitive prescriptions.

The fact that anonymized data can – will! – be re-identified doesn't mean we have to give up on the prospect of gleaning insight from medical records. In the UK, the eminent doctor Ben Goldacre and colleagues built an incredible effective, privacy-preserving "trusted research environment" (TRE) to operate on millions of NHS records across a decentralized system of hospitals and trusts without ever moving the data off their own servers:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/08/the-fire-of-orodruin/#are-we-the-baddies

The TRE is an open source, transparent server that accepts complex research questions in the form of database queries. These queries are posted to a public server for peer-review and revision, and when they're ready, the TRE sends them to each of the databases where the records are held. Those databases transmit responses to the TRE, which then publishes them. This has been unimaginably successful: the prototype of the TRE launched during the lockdown generated sixty papers in Nature in a matter of months.

Monopolies are inefficient, and Epic's outmoded and dangerous approach to research, along with the roadblocks it puts in the way of clinical excellence, epitomizes the problems with monopoly. America's health care industry is a dumpster fire from top to bottom – from Medicare Advantage to hospital cartels – and allowing Epic to dominate the EHR market has somehow, incredibly, made that system even worse.

Naturally, Kuttner finishes out his article with some antitrust analysis, sketching out how the Sherman Act could be brought to bear on Epic. Something has to be done. Epic's software is one of the many reasons that MDs are leaving the medical profession in droves.

Epic epitomizes the long-standing class war between doctors who want to take care of their patients and hospital executives who want to make a buck off of those patients.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/02/upcoded-to-death/#thanks-obama

Image: Flying Logos (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Over_$1,000,000_dollars_in_USD_$100_bill_stacks.png

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[emrikae]

aot cast modern au jobs in my head:

eren: cybersecurity specialist. i feel like erens one of those kids that suck in subjects like lang-lit or fucking geography but have an impressive talent in anything techi. i think growing up eren was a competitive gamer and i imagine him being pretty rich in the sense where doctor daddy grisha and also big bro zeke are always spoiling his brat ass with the latest technology. he gets so good, he initially goes into uni wanting to become a game designer but after a brief fallout with his dad when he dropped out and eventually had his allowance cut (a period where i think eren dips into underground hacking and also modelling?) he falls upon the sexy salary in cybersecurity (and saw how thrilling- and damn easy !for him! - the job is) he changed course. i think eren eventually builds his own successful company and becomes one of those rich folks who say that school aint shit.

mikasa: president of a major sports team. mikasa takes over pretty young (like early 30s) after old uncle kenny was involved in some ‘reiss scandal’. initially mikasa was labelled ‘princess’ (derogatory) by dumb angry hooligans who thought a woman would curse their current standing, jokes on them cus that same season the club broke their 20 year curse by reaching the championships. i also think old pictures of gothkasa gets leaked on the internet but it only brought her more praise. but i actually dont think mikasa stays in this job for very long, shes always wanted a quiet simple form of income anyway so when her baby brother comes of right age and maturity she passes the baton to him and lays back as just a shareholder before shes even 40. i also believe mikasa in another universe wouldve loved to be an archivist.

armin: celebrity marine biologist/activist that went viral online during lockdown. he gets his own fanbase and is termed ‘biologist bae’ cus of his cute looks. a tv producer who fell into his corner pretty much fell in love with him after seeing armin deliver a spiel about endangered dugongs. invites him to a bunch of talk shows and the viewership goes so high (a large portion of it being teenage fangirls who want to ‘save the ocean’ too!) he manages to score his own show where he eventually meets his future wife.

annie: senior tv writer who got with armin after working with him on his show. she usually works on sporty reality shows and competitions even though shes a big time introvert. known for her sharp dont fuck with me work ethic, annie gags at how easily she fell into ‘biologist baes’ charm, hates how shes just like the 14 year old fangirls who try to sneak into their shoots. but anyways, annies the ace at her job been going hard for about 15 years but ultimately decides to retire early after having her second child and really liking how ‘biologist bae’ was making enough dough for the whole family.

sasha: influencer cus shes so pretty and fun. was a design major so all her vids have a ‘aesthetic’. now she prettily promotes lifestyle hacks for all the girlies. she also has a set of vids called “what my chef husband cooked for me today” . i think also further on she ends up being one of those moms who shoots vlogs and reviews with their kids.

jean: jeans a classy guy with artistic talents so i imagine him being a successful automotive designer for a luxurious car company. a mommas boy, he used his first fat pay-check to buy his mom a sleek ride thats a little too fast for someone her age. dudes insta page is what you’d expect from a posh car enthusiast with flashy posts of either him, his car, his mom or all 3.

connie: real estate party man. he really climbed his way up and becomes a man of many stories, friends with everyone and plenty of connections. the old hustle got him familiar with the best locations in the city, and now with his excellent salesmanship dude manages to sell at least 3 huge properties a week. i also feel like connies one of those dudes to finally settle down in his 40s -50s (with someone half his age).

historia: i believe queenbee was made for wedding planning. she has her own company before her first job ever but damn is she good at it. being brought up filthy rich, historia is familiar with the highest quality of things, knows whats on the market that only the small percentage of rich people know and will get clients their dream wedding to a t. moreover, she also loves to play cupid (canon!) and is always up to planning her friends weddings (and baby showers, and birthdays parties, and…)

ymir: i imagine ymir being on the board of directors for a bunch of ngos. she had a tough upbringing, was probably moved around from one home to another and could see how hard life is for anyone working at minimum wage. she grew up to be a little spitfire in school, hadnt taken it seriously until she reached senior year and bonded with a school staff named Ms Ymir Fritz. With the wisdom and kindness she learnt from her old teacher, ymir wanted to pay it forward and decided to make a living helping those in need.

reiner: idk why, but i feel like reiners a softie at heart and i imagine him having a nice cozy candy shop. probably fighting old childhood demons and the parental neglect he faced, his cute little shop comes as part of his healing journey to compensate what he missed out on in his youth. its sweet (but a little heartbreaking) that reiners favourite part about his job is getting to witness and be a part of the joy that emerges between families when they enter his shop.

bertholdt: a nurse just cus i think bertholdt would know how to be gentle with the patients. hes got a soft way of speaking that makes vulnerable people feel safe and comfortable. hes also wildly knowledgeable in flexibility and keeping your muscles in good shape that he conducts morning stretches and sometimes yoga in one of their recreational halls.

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄.

pairing: coriolanus snow x toxic!fem!reader

summary: someone always throw a spanner in her works, to achieve her biggest dream —being coriolanus’ lover, wife and claiming power. luckily, y/n is not on the loser side when it comes to playing. 

trigger warnings (overall): mastermind!reader, toxic!reader (for real, she’s doing nasty things), reader’s family is a bit fucked up, reader is obsessed with coriolanus snow, lying, swearing, blood, violence, killing people, hunger games stuff, i just love volumnia gaul, reader hates lucy gray and everybody who’s around coriolanus, mental health problems mentioned such as psychotism, domestic violence mentioned, drugs, mention of sexual fantasies. 

trigger warnings (in this part): mastermind!reader, toxic!reader (for real, she’s doing nasty things), reader is obsessed with coriolanus snow, lying, swearing, drugs, mention of sexual fantasies, wet dreams, screaming out from anger, hate speech, hate-thoughts.

prologue. part 1.

her nose bleed. 

looking into the mirror, everybody could wonder that it didn't break from the look on y/n’s face. nosebleeding happened a lot of the time with her, her brother,  joked like “this is what happens when even your blood can’t stay near your thoughts.” well, only if he knew that sometimes, it was true. 

standing up, blasting the vases and the dolls she had on her shelf with a scream, everything fell down to the floor, broken into pieces, some of it cutting up her foot. still screaming, crouching to the ground, tearing out the pages of the old plan, she split her stupidity into litter. her whole body shook as she drew out the white powder she got from festus, spreading some on the edge of her thumb, sniffing it up. waiting until the calming feeling crawled in her blood to his brain and every little corner of her body, she felt full for a moment. her whole body shook as she stood up, stepping over the shards and thorns of her vases, her dolls and her roses. stomping over a doll with black hair, sy/n sat back to the dressing table. swiping the mascara off her face, then her lipstick, with baggy eyes, smeared makeup, with the eyes of a madwoman, her lips like she just ate something raw, her blood mixing with black and red, she wanted to tear up that bitch. 

but let’s not be so fast. let’s begin with the first things and signs, the signs that got y/n in this state. 

to begin with the good news, clemensia finally got out of the picture. y/n began the day at volumnia gaul, as she wrote in y/n’s response letter that she should be there tomorrow morning, so she can begin as soon as it’s possible. wearing her best clothes, she stood at nine am before the doctor’s doors. drinking a tea with her, y/n only saw only now how intimidating she looked –one of her, the ice blue one, came from the devil itself. 

“i’m not gonna lie miss y/l/n, but when i saw your application letter on my desk, i was surprised.” 

“how so? i mean, dr. gaul, i knew only the best biologists and scientists work for you, and i wanted to be one of them.” 

“really? oh, yeah, i remember about your assignment, dear. tell me, when you wrote those words and sentences, did you already think about working at the game?” 

“i mean… dr. gaul, please don’t get it wrong, i’m not really interested in the outcome of the games. twenty three people die anyway, and it’s not the maker’s task to make the games more interesting. that task is for the marketing section. i only want to see how venom can be planted.” 

“is the littlest, sweetest child of cyril y/l/n interested in venom?” 

“venom can be useful in so many ways. it can heal, and it can make things more interesting. it can make a single dinner turn into a full-night drama.” 

volumnia looked at y/n, then began to giggle. y/n never felt something like before; it crawled down into her veins, just like the drugs she used, scratching her brain, just like the day of the graduation. 

“miss y/l/n, i’m sure you have some ideas. and it’s not only about mono– and dicotyledons. come with me, let me show you something.” 

their heels clicked on the floor as the biologists looked at a big glass-cage in front them. at first she didn’t even realize what she saw, only a million scales crawling into each other, different metallic colors in every shade of the rainbow, never stopping, always slowly moving pressed to each other like shiny, long bowels. it was a glass cage, full of snakes. but what’s so special about it?

“they are venomous.” could dr. gaul read her mind? “it’s my newest invention. these snakes can poorly see or hear, but have better smell than any dog, and much more venom than any of their natural kindreds.” stepping closer, y/n placed her hand on the glass. only one knock, and they both could be dead at this very moment. 

“it’s truly amazing, dr. gaul.” she answered. 

as one of dr. gaul’s assistants led her around after her lunch –everybody wore white clothes, some of them had masks on their face–, in the early afternoon, coriolanus and clemensia came in. speaking of the devil, she was sitting at one of the tables in the big, white hall full of canned animals and organs, running through papers and listing the books she had to read as he stepped in. y/n completely forgot about the annoying girl beside her, thinking about their date, she sprayed a little perfume on herself when she saw them coming closer. at night, y/n had first so-called wet dream –she attended a sleepover at arachne’s house twice, and they were talking about these kinds of dreams, when girls dreamed about their ‘crush’. why call it ‘crush’ when you can call it lover? sooner or later, if you’re tenacious enough, they’re gonna be your lover. or was it just y/n? anyway, she knew what sex was and that it was good (although she never did it), but it was strange to wake up feeling hot like having a fever. feeling that her underwear was sticky, at first she thought that she had her period, but looking at it –nothing. she wasn’t a daydreamer, but when she thought back to the dream, reaching for coriolanus as he hovered ove her from above, holding his big hand, caging hers as he kept his other hand at the back of her neck, long fingers digging into the nape of her hair, stroking it with each jolt, burying his face into her neck, giving out grunts like an animal, moving his hips into hers while y/n held onto his broad, sculpted shoulders– it was a little bit weird that her mind wasn’t focused. she was… wandering. how weird! 

“hey, y/n, you already here?” clemensia asked her, making her look up from the paper. stilted smile, wide eyes, looking like she was ready to get all the credit from coriolanus for herself… yeah, she’s still a certified, annoying bitch. 

“hello, y/n.” corio said, making her look at him with a slight smile. just like she always did. 

“hi to you too. yes, well, seems like dr. gaul isn’t a procrastinator. she’s really a professional.”

“aren’t you scared to work between stuff like this? these glasses are creeping me out…” clemensia muttered. these things are hiding in you too, honey. sadly, the brain is missing, maybe in you too. 

“no, i’m not. it’s rather interesting, biology and science are the future.” 

before they could speak any further, volumnia appeared. 

“i see you two just found your little friend, already on the front.” 

“yes, and we are so happy about it.” said clemensia, dr. gaul bidded y/n to go with them. of course you are happy, connections are everything. y/n couldn’t decide if clemensia really was this bootlicker by her nature, or that his father was in trouble. 

“miss y/l/n already have seen my newest, beautiful babies, but i want you to see them too.”

“is there a point to a color?” clemensia asked as they stepped up on the stairs before y/n. 

“there’s a point to everything, miss devcoat, or to nothing at all… which brings me to your proposal.” dr. gaul answered, leaning with one arm on the cage. “which one of you actually wrote it?” 

looking at the snake cage, knowing the snakes had really good smelling affinitions, dr. gaul’s question… did she doubt it, too? sure there were cameras on the reception, and as coriolanus told her, he handed in the paper. did she doubt it? no. she knew that it was not her. after clemensia’s little speech, y/n slightly smirked, but when coriolanus looked back at her, she reassuringly smiled. 

“...so miss devcoat, reach in it for us, won’t you? so we might all consider your inspired ideas. don’t worry, my little predators are perfectly docile with those who they know they can trust. so if they’re used to your scent, if you’ll handle their food, for example… or if they’ve inhaled the sweat of your palm on a page.” 

the fear on clemensia’s face was satisfying. of course, y/n didn’t want her to die, she wasn’t a savage, but she needed to learn her lessons. and when she got bitten in a sudden moment, falling down… y/n almost couldn’t contain the honest smile on her face. coriolanus of course, was scared about what happened to her, and she tried to act like it, too. 

“miss y/l/n read about them this morning, surely she can say something about what this was.” dr. gaul said, making coriolanus turn to her. 

“i think that this is just the natural selection of humanity. i wouldn’t think that clemensia lied, but… these snakes proved it. by scent, of course, but judging and deciding is in every creature on this planet. they just went against it.” 

“mr. snow, your dear friend sees it right. and god, your suggestions! i will recommend my team implement as many as possible tomorrow, spread it in front of my team.” however, coriolanus didn’t seem eased. 

“will she die?” 

“the pleasure in breaking ground in one’s research as one gets to find it out. you better keep miss dovecote’s faith between us. i don’t think her mother would be happy to learn how her daughter was caught in a sudden… flu.” coriolanus looked at y/n. she furrowed her eyebrows, but knew that dr. gaul wasn’t one to fuck with. but one was out from her list, if she goes with speed like that, she can bid her problems really soon goodbye.

eating lunch together again, coriolanus suddenly held her hand. although it made her excited, his face contained the same worry he had when he saw clemensia. 

“y/n, you are one of her workers now. dr. gaul is… i have some precautions with her, did you see what she did with clemensia?” 

y/n nodded, stroking his hand with her thumb. 

“corio, dear, dr. gaul did that because she knew you were the one who wrote all those proposals and ideas. she just couldn’t stand the unfairness.” 

“i know, but she could have done it in a more gentle way, couldn’t she?” 

“she could, of course. dr. gaul just wanted her to learn a lesson, she was always on your back, coriolanus. i feel really sorry about her” no, of course i’m not. “, but you need to cut off the people who don't help you by their true being. i think casca highbottom’s goal was also this, for all of you to realize these things.” was it emotional and logical enough? she really hoped, and she eased up when coriolanus’ eyes lit up. 

“you are right, y/n. i’m grateful to you for telling me the truth.” 

“i’m never telling the truth, i am not a judge. or, only the times when it’s time. i’m just saying my thoughts as an outsider.”

“you may be an outsider by the games, but you’ll never be one in my life. thank you so much.” 

“i’m always happy to hear your thoughts, corio.” enough from the bullshit, let’s get to the more important stuff. “by the way, the date… how am i supposed to dress? our chauffeur can drive us anywhere, i talked with my father and he can go with his administrative car, so…”

“i want to bring you to a little restaurant, where i ate with my family when i was a child. it’s not big, but i really hope you will like it. and you can wear anything you want, i’m not gonna be disappointed.” 

y/n wanted to kiss him. so bad, to seal their whole life forever. despite that fact and her wants, she brushed one of her locks behind her ear. 

“thank you, corio. i just want it to be perfect.” 

after lunch, standing up, as y/n guided him out, he held her hand. 

“what will you do for the rest of the day?” she asked coriolanus, hoping they can be together for more time than just a simple lunch. if the date goes well, and it will go well, will they have little, secret dates together? will he come for her family’s dinner? it was mandatory always in her family, and he didn’t need to be introduced, but still, it was tradition. 

“i’m going to see if lucy gray is okay in the zoo. tomorrow we are planning on getting them food, would you go with me? the others will be there as well, and i’d like to introduce you to her.” 

really? well, it can happen, only if the media isn’t there. but it will, because these actions are making history right now. and if y/n is on the side of coriolanus, it can help him. her family, mainly her father will make her a joke, but he was so cynical that it didn’t matter. and this way, she can check that lucy gray for herself. 

“i’ll go with you, of course! it’s a wonderful idea.” she grabbed into his arms as they stepped out on the gates. she needed to go back of course, but she didn’t mind. 

“thank you, y/n. after that, be there at the restaurant at seven in the evening.” 

“i can’t wait for it, corio.” she smiled, looking up at him. brushing her hair, coriolanus bent down to kiss her cheek. it needed such a little move of her head to catch his lips, but she contained herself. today’s sacrifices are for tomorrow’s prizes. his lips were perfect, of course, including her dream from yesterday’s night, she held onto his arm to stroke it. 

“then tomorrow, y/n. take care of yourself, okay?” 

“just as always, please do the same, dear.” she muttered, making him smile. to kiss his lips, to dig her fingers into his hair, to lay into his arms as they watched that the majority of the votes called to him on the election of the presidency of panem… having dreams like this was the cause she didn’t get medicine through her veins. 

well, maybe they needed it after the tv-show at night. laying on her bed as usual, smoking a cigarette while reading, thinking about the outfit she could wear tomorrow night, her sister knocked on her door. 

“can i come in, y/n?” stubbing the butt of the cigarette, she stood up to open the door. as she laid back, morphia sat on her bed, putting her hand on her sister’s leg. “what’s up with you, little sister?” 

“dr. gaul accepted my application, so i spent the day with her in her office. and you? how is the wedding?” 

“well, i chose the taste of the cake yesterday, then spent the night with my old colleagues, the ones who i don’t invite to my wedding. it’s a shame, i know, but i only want my loved ones on my biggest, happiest day. and today, i spoke with timothé who said that the place by the hills is reserved, so we can have it to yourselves. it’s gonna be truly beautiful, isn’t it?” 

“yes, it truly will be beautiful. do you want a cigarette?” y/n asked, showing her sister the package. morphia took one, y/n took out a new one and lit it for both of them. “are you sure that you love timothé? from what do you know you love him?” 

morphia smiled, blowing out the smoke. it was strawberry flavored, her mother hated it. she only blew those skinny, bad tasting sticks. the only excuse was that sometimes she spiced up with some weed. although y/n didn’t like weed. 

“well, i just know it. you have a strange feeling in your heart.” check. “a feeling you have with no one else, and that you feel like you want to be around him, always.” check. “and you would do anything, and i really mean anything for him, and to be with him.” check. “because this is love. why are you asking this?” 

“i just… i think i love coriolanus, too. the way you love timothé.” 

“so nothing new, little sister.” she giggled, making y/n roll her eyes. she trusted morphia, although her marriage was needed because the family got to guarantee and secure their ten percent income from the district. this way, they could see the papers. the only problem were the plinths, who opposed this, but her father’s hands reached too long to raise a voice against the deal. and y/n wanted sejanus to get out of the picture, and after that, without descendants, they could only hope they will have what they got now until their death. 

“but there is news, morphy. coriolanus invited me on a date.” at her words, morphia covered her mouth, pulling up her eyebrows. holding y/n’s hand, morphia smiled at her. 

“really, y/n? oh my, it’s so wonderful! invite him for the wedding, if you want, but know that he’s an appreciated guest.” 

“i will, if he’ll have the time. but he’s at the games right now in his mind, i don’t want to disturb him.” 

“if he loves you, you’ll always be in his mind, you know. but the deadline is in one month, so please, tell me till then.”

“i will, morphy. i will.” she ended her second cigarette, throwing it into the burgundy ashtray, her sister did the same. 

“do you want to come down? this night is the game’s night, i heard that the tributes got thrown into the zoo.” 

“i know, me and corio will go there tomorrow.” 

“then he surely forgot to mention that… he went there, too.” 

what? rising to sit on her bed, y/n was really, really surprised. 

“how do you mean that?” she asked, trying to believe that her sister just babbled some shit together, but she seemed really certain about what she stated. 

“the tributes got thrown into a cage in the zoo, and your coriolanus was there, too. the interview is gonna be on the telly tonight, might come down and watch with us?” 

going down on the stairs with a buzz in her head, y/n saw that the show was already on. lucretius ‘lucky’ flickerman, a weathercaster who was now tapped to host the interviews from the 10th hunger games stood in front of the cameras. 

“sit down, dear, sit down.” her mother pointed to the place beside her. y/n decided to knee on the pillow where her cat laid, getting persephone into her arms. minutes later, there he was. morphia didn’t joke, he seriously got into that fucking cage? what the fuck? 

“is that your new lover, my sweet?” her father asked y/n, getting a giggle from her sister and her mother. “i can admit that he’s really ambitious about winning the prize.” 

y/n didn’t say anything, listening to what he and lucy gray said. that fucking bitch had the audacity to smile and brag like she was the new star, but she wasn’t. she was just a poor, miserable wanderer who got into the games because she fucked around. how could a… thing like lucy gray hold onto a hand she held this afternoon, too? she wasn’t a princess or a noble or a singer or an actor to have a big mouth like this, to act like this. 

and truly, it seems like she wanted to take away her lover. and it was something y/n could never accept, in any conditions, at any time, or in any situation. never. 

“are you okay, y/n?” her mother asked. “your hand is shaking.” 

brushing her hair, she looked at her mother, trying to nod with composed moves. 

“everything’s fine, mommy. i just need to go upstairs to take a bath, and to take my medicine.” 

and now, she was sitting at her dressing table. it wasn’t just unfair and rule-breaking how lucy gray played, but it was really, really degrading. her face burned in shame, and she wanted to claw down it all with her skin. 

closing her eyes, she prayed for sanity. sanity to go through the next weeks, for sanity to handle situations well, for sanity for her plan. repeat after me, y/n. repeat after me, you stupid bitch.

i am y/n y/l/n, youngest member of the house y/l/n. we are noble, i am noble, and i deserve everything that i have now.

picking up the doll she stepped over only minutes ago, stroking its hair, it was just a plaything. all people were just playthings, playing. how could lucy gray be anything else?

i am beautiful, clever and nobody can ever drag me down. the people who hate me are only envious of my life, my body and my mind, but they’re all going to soil.

looking aside, the fireplace in her room was on. running her thumb through the doll’s porcelain face the last time, she threw it into the fire. long, skinny flames crawled up on the soft fabric of its dress, licking the wall as the fine china cracked. it was time to take a bath.

i love the life i have, and i will appreciate every single second of the life i will have when i achieve my goals. i have every tool i can use to win, and i will use them to be the woman i want to be. it’s not far away, and everyday is a chance to be closer to the woman i want to be.

“hortense, do you think a woman can make a man hers?” she asked from her maid as she sat in the hot water, hortense braid her hair to be curly for tomorrow, fasten it with silk ribbons. 

“i think, miss y/l/n, that women have power. so probably, yes, but please, don’t make yourself hurt. your safety is the first.” hortense answered from behind her back, helping her wash her back. so probably, yes. if even a maid knew that, then why did lucy gray try to stand between her and coriolanus? 

laying in her bed, ready to sleep, she stroked persephone’s fur. 

“how could she do that, persy?” whispering in silence, only getting a meow back, y/n thought about the cage of the snakes dr. gaul showed her today. only a little crack, and everybody could die in unbearable pain, only under mere seconds. maybe she also had to be a cage full of snakes. only a crack on her mind she already had, and everybody could die into what she did. 

maybe she was already. 

a/n: thanks for the waiting babiez, i hope you liked this part too <3 also, wish me luck for my exams 😩

taglist: @champomiel @stelleduarte @diamondsbestie

(ask for taglist in comment, dm or here!!)

[adragonthatwrites]

Absolutely loving your marine biologist cqms diaries and need to know the full Moshang backstory at once... Why do I see sqh taping programmable LED strips to himself with double-sided sticky tape so that he can 'talk' to Mobei Jun...

Thank you, glad you're enjoying it! As for the story behind MoShang... Sit down, grab a drink, because I am about to do a lot of elaborating!

So first off Dr. Shang Qinghua; he's a very renowned marine biologist, who specializes in Leviathan Class mer language and behavior (though his knowledge regrading the behaviors and linguistic abilities of smaller, coastal species is nothing to sneeze at either). He's the head of Leviathan Class mer study at one of Cang Qiong's facilities; a different facility from the one Dr. Shen Jiu works at, actually! He did spend time working with Dr. Shen; both in school, and during their internships, and during those time periods it was decided that those two should not be allowed to work in the same space as each other. Project Pisces is an exception.

One of Dr. Shang's most well known and well renowned achievements (aside from The Tank Incident which we'll get too) was his part in the illegalization of mer poaching, selling, and ownership. His study of mer habits and language assisted in the official classification of mers as Sentient Species, granting them rights against being killed or owned as pets. He also assisted in the seizure, rehabilitation and release of hundreds of mers previously being kept as pets or sideshow attractions.

Back to MoShang:

Mobei Jun, a category 2 Leviathan Class mer (Yue Qingyuan is a category 3; the first and currently only), was one of Dr. Shang's first subjects of study in his pursuit of proving mers capable of complex language. He was found caught in a fishermen's net and brought to Dr. Shang's facilities for both treatment and study. Almost all of Dr. Shang's knowledge of Leviathan Class behaviors, as well as mer language, was gleaned from his study of Mobei Jun over the course of several months' worth of treatment and rehabilitation. He spent hours and hours outside the mer's enclosure, speaking to him in English, Chinese, and even incorporating some sign language. He took direct responsibility over feeding, guiding and treating the mer, studying Mobei Jun's behaviors and responses to the stimuli around him.

He was able to identify complex, grammatical structure within the calls and sounds Mobei Jun made when interacting with him, though he wasn't able to reliably decipher these into a language (at least not one that would earn mers the rights of Sentient Species). His major breakthrough came in studying the bioluminescent patterns located on Mobei Jun's face, shoulders, chest, and across his back. He discovered that mer language is actually largely associated with these markings; words are formed via the flashing of certain markings in certain patterns over certain areas of the body, while the low, intense vocalizations Mobei Jun frequently made were generally associated with more broad emotions; for example hunger, irritation, curiosity, threat, etc.

Essentially; the markings convey words, while vocalizations convey feelings, as Dr. Shang put it his paper on the subject.

Actually decoding, understanding and then mimicking these individual words in order to have a proper conversation with Mobei Jun proved to be a bit more of a challenge, in large part because Dr. Shang, being human, had no markings of his own, and no ability to make the appropriate sounds to convey his emotions.

His solution to this problem was ultimately to pick up a flashlight and start turning it on and off over various parts of his body in an attempt to mimic the signals used to convey words. He was... actually surprisingly successful, and was able to engage in one of the very first human to mer conversations. Which mostly consisted of Mobei Jun asking what the fuck he was doing while Dr. Shang spammed a rudimentary approximation of the words for 'learn' and 'friend'.

Which finally brings us to The Tank Incident...

Near the end of Mobei Jun's rehabilitation, a few weeks before he was to be moved to one of their oceanic enclosures (a big pen off the side of the facilities that connects to the ocean itself), before being released back to the wild, Dr. Shang was walking alongside the edge of Mobei Jun's holding tank making observations about his sleeping patterns. It was very late and most of the lights had been turned out, and Mobei Jun himself had retired to the den built into his tank for sleep.

Evidently a feed bucket had been left out beside the tank and Dr. Shang wasn't aware of it, as he tripped over it and fell, directly into Mobei Jun's tank.

He would later go on to describe the experience as 'equal parts terrifying and thrilling.' Mobei Jun was naturally woken up by Dr. Shang's tumble into his tank, and emerged to investigate. The sound of his voice; echo-locating to see what exactly had fallen in his tank; was loud enough to make Dr. Shang's chest vibrate.

Dr. Shang had expected to die then; it wasn't common for mer's to eat humans, but not unheard of, particularly in Leviathan Class. Sentient though they may be, mers are undoubtedly much more... wild than humans.

Mobei Jun, on the other hand, had apparently recategorized Dr. Shang from food to a potential mate during their months of interaction, and took the opportunity of having the man within his reach to... finalize, that decision.

Dr. Shang has gone on record stating that the experience was 'not as bad as you'd expect actually! For one thing it's nice and narrow at the tip and he doesn't just shove it all in at once, so you have time to adjust. The smaller one's on the sides also help to distract you, and the fact mers also like to be penetrated at the same time they're doing the penetrating definitely helps too." (for more info on speculative mer reproduction, check out Sinn-Bee's MerLiu au, I took a lot of inspo from them ;))

Regardless, Dr. Shang quickly became very famous for his little... adventure. He is not however the first person to end up in such a situation; he's not even the first researcher, so he wasn't blacklisted or fired. He is the first to pull it off with a Leviathan Class though...

[alyseofwonderland]

the ending of the last of us being a point of discussion is one of those things that I know is going to be a breaking point for me. because i have been upset about it since the video game

BUT NOT FOR THE REASONS YOU THINK.

I’m mad that its even considered “a choice” for Joel to get Ellie out of there. THEY WERE DOING SCIENCE WRONG!!!

I’m sorry you don't kill your one immune specimen on the first fucking day! This is not how cures are found. How many tests did they run on Ellie? How much blood did they take? How many lab mice did they genetically alter and infect to see if it a replicalbe cure?

THE INCOMPETENCE OF THE FIREFLIES AND THEIR DOCTORS IS RAGE INDUCING. Living tissue it the key here people. Kill Ellie on day one and they can only test cures for as long as they have well preserved tissue samples which looking at the conditions in Last of Us, they dont have. This is a get it right the first time or you killed her for nothing set up.

That’s before the show decided to give us like an origin story of Ellie’s birth and we now have a clear picture of how she became immune. It was low grade inculcation. Cool neato. Marlene might not know what happened exactly but she certainly can put the pieces together. Marlene could have communicated what she knew of Ellie’s birth to the doctors and the fact that they have proof that Ellie is immune and from that information alone a good biologist could have started making test subject mice.

*pinches nose bridge*

I understand this is not the point. I really really do. I understand that the narrative and the discussion is supposed to center around the morals of One Life out weighting the Lives of Many. It’s supposed to be the exact opposite of all things Star Trek. EXCEPT THEY ARE TRYING TO PASS OFF SCIENCE THAT WOULD ONLY WORK IN A STAR TREK EPISODE. *deep calming breath*

Here’s the problem. The show and the video game want us to believe this is a morality question. Is it morally wrong for Joel to doom of of humanity to save his adoptive daughter? That’s the central question.

But if they were never gonna save humanity. If the Fireflies were just gonna kill Ellie the first day they have her then there’s no moral question. Or at least the question is different. We are now asking “Is it wrong to kill an entire building of people in order to stop them from committing a murder?”

If no cure can come from Ellie’s death (because we have established they would have never found it) then her life is more valuable than the lives of everyone in that building because she can survive situations no one else can. She could clear out whole infected towns one by one.

Anyway. Science Education People. Everyone needs more of it.

[ronwestbreeze]

becoming jake sully's mate

pairing: jake sully x fem!reader

warnings: nothing but fluff and longing from both sides

you had already been a botanist and biologist and had a slowly developed friendship with mo’at there when jake first arrived. you had a hand in creating grace’s school and had sadly watched it fail after the incident with mo’at’s daughter sylwanin. you felt awful about it and always resented the rda for ruining something that could’ve been good for both the sky people and the na’vi. thankfully, you and mo’at still retained a respectful relationship, although now it was a lot more strained since you, like the rda that killed her daughter, were human.

when coming back from another plant research journey, you meet jake right after grace was done snapping at him and stalking off to talk to the higher ups about him replacing tom sully. knowing how grace can be, you offered a more pleasant and warmer welcome as you had no issue with the other sully brother.

“i wouldn’t let what she says get to you. somewhere in that icicle heart in her there’s a heater. i managed to only crack it just a bit.” you joked.

“jake sully, this is dr. y/n l/n. one of our best biologists here.”

jake nodded toward her and offered you his hand which you shook it happily. he gestured toward your hair, “i like the hair color. very bright.”

you had nearly forgotten your terrible dye job which unfortunately turned it into a fiery orange. you remembered grace laughing at you for hours when she first saw it. “yeah, i keep forgetting to shave it all off.”

“don’t. i think it’ pretty cool.” jake grinned.

you smiled back, “thanks, sully. welcome to pandora. hope you enjoy your stay.”

“i think i will.” he gave you a charming smirk in return.

it was one of those moments you realized you had a crush on him.

and it was way too fast for your liking. it was stupid how fast you had fallen for his boyish charm, his sarcastic nature especially around grace.

you didn’t have anyone really. your parents were dead, you had no siblings. all you had was grace and mo’at, who only reluctantly kept you around despite her dislike for humans. and now jake could be added to that.

he was a lot more outgoing then you were while you always kept to yourself most of the time, studying plants. that was your safe haven.

one day you found yourself at the avatar compound having a discussion with grace about some of the trees you had been studying that day when jake comes barreling through the compound, in his new avatar form.

jake had spotted you first and grinned, “hey, cheetos! check this out!” he was jumping around in his new body excitedly. “crazy isn’t it?”

despite you wanting to grin back, you couldn’t help but raise your brow, “cheetos? wait do you mean—that’s not gonna be a new thing sully—”

“already is, cheetos.” grace smirked playfully, standing over you in her avatar body. “s’not as good as carrots! colonel came up with that one.”

“fuck him.” you roll your eyes while jake continued to laugh. you tried hiding your face as it grew warm. it’s a good thing your face was dark enough for people not to notice the blushing.

when jake got lost in the jungle and met the omaticaya clan, surprisingly enough you were one of the first people he told.

“what you did was reckless, skxawng. but somehow your ass is lucky, i don’t know how, but i’m impressed.” you sighed sitting at the table as he rolled up next to it.

jake looked at you with furrowed brows, “skxawng? that’s what the female na’vi called me. the one i met.”

you cringed, “ah right, sorry, i’m too used to the language here, sometimes it slips out.”

“no, no, it’s fine. maybe you can teach me.”

you try not to smile, “maybe.”

“at least tell me what that word means.”

“uh, i don’t think you want to know.”

jake narrowed his eyes playfully but let it go for now, “next time you should bring your avatar and come out with me.”

you tried ignoring the fluttering in your chest. a delusional part of you thought he really wanted to spend time with you. while the other more rational and professional part of you knew it was probably so she could help him understand the species more.

“maybe another time. i can’t get too distracted.”

you neve realized then how closely jake always watched you. when you weren’t looking or even when you were having a simple conversation. somehow you always missed the certain fondness and affection. and he certainly wasn’t good at hiding it. “nothin’ wrong with distractions.”

again, you smiled stupidly, “just find me some plants while you’re out there.”

jake nodded instantly, “will do.”

you ignored the fluttering again. because the next time you met up again, your mind would be clear when you learned that he was going to be the colonel’s spy and gain information from the people. grace was on board with it of course, always trying to search for the diplomatic way. but you hated every bit of it.

this was the first time jake had ever seen you mad and it especially startled him when it was directed at him. he was so used to your smile, your lighthearted and soft spoken personality. he never expected a woman to get so angry at him so fast. new record.

“tell me what other way there is to get out of this peacefully! i’m all ears, y/n!”

“how about not forcing them to give us their resources! this isn’t our world! we don’t have a fucking right to any of it!”

“we’re trying to maintain the peace here, y/n.” grace added. “if we don’t do this, then you know what the rda is going to do.”

“and you think lying to them will make it any better?!” you fumed hotly.

“not if they don’t find out.” jake reasoned.

now you were beyond angry. so angry you couldn’t even get anymore words out without wanting to scream even more at the both of them.

“you know what, do what you want. i want no part of it.” you hissed before storming out of the room.

it hurt because you loved the na’vi people. it hurt because jake was going to be in on it and possibly cause harm to them. it jut because you actually thought…

no. why else was he here? why else did he take his brother’s place? at the end of the day he was just like the rest of them.

it had been a week since jake had seen you and started becoming one of the people. jake had decided then that he didn’t like you being mad at him and he would do whatever he could to have you smile at him again.

so when he had time to sneak away from the training, in his avatar body, he found your lab deep within the forest. he had gotten a flower that he was sure you would like and brought it to you at your lab.

you were shocked to see him to say the least. but still pissed at him.

“i don’t want you to be angry.” he’d say while looking down at you. there was a heavy look across his face that you couldn’t interpret. but at the time you didn’t care much for it.

you took the flower, “a flower won’t fix it, jake.”

“what can i do to fix it, y/n? just tell me and i’ll do it.”

you didn’t understand why he was persistent, or why he even cared about what you thought at all.

“you know what i want, jake.”

another look crossed his face. “and what if i can’t give it to you? i want this to end just as peacefully as you want it to.”

“i don’t want this at all!” you snapped. “this isn’t right and you know it, jake!”

“i can convince them to relocate!”

“why should they be forced to move from their home because of an outsider’s greed?”

jake of course didn’t have an answer for that. he knew you were right, he knew they wouldn’t peacefully relocate. he just wanted to hold on, find a way. for them. for you. he wanted to make this right. he wanted...

he wanted so many things he couldn’t have right now.

instead, he invites you to his ceremony.

“i want you to be there. please.”

you, despite how stubborn you wanted to be, ended up going. the flower he gave you was still clutched in your hand as you watched him become one of the people. but you studied the culture long enough to know what it meant. you knew long enough it meant that after this he would be able to choose a mate if he wanted to or not, depended on his so-called mission he was given by the colonel.

but your question was answered when you saw him go off with neytiri.

you knew he had made a choice.

when the rda attacked the forest, jake was panicked. for the omaticaya people and for you. he couldn’t find you anywhere. jake wouldn’t know what to do if something had happened to you in all of this mess. and things got even worse when he revealed to the clan that he had known about the attack and they had him tied up next to grace. more destruction came. the hometree was destroyed and he still has yet to find you.

then he got pulled out of his avatar and arrested for treason. for the short time in the cell, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, worrying about you. you were still out there while they were here. you could be gone by now and he wouldn’t even know.

you had been in your lab when the attack on pandora happened. you rushed out of your small lab to take in all of the damage with tearful eyes. you had never hated the rda so much until then. seeing the na’vi die, seeing the nature being destroyed by missiles. it made your heart burn.

mo’at had found you and brought you back to the tree of souls with all the other surviving omaticaya people. you, of course were worried for jake, especially when you hadn’t seen him among the surviving people. you even asked neytiri where he was but she wouldn’t say, clearly too angered at the mere mention of his name. you put together that they must’ve found out about jake. and as much as you wanted to say “i told you so” whenever you saw him, you were still worried that he wouldn’t show up.

it wasn’t until jake had rode in on toruk did you feel immense relief and awe when you saw him. and because of the toruk he had rode on, the people knew he was now the toruk makto, and he had gained their trust once more.

but when he reveals that grace is hurt and that he needed their help, the relief was gone and instead replaced with more worry for your friend.

jake had come straight toward you after, asking if you were okay.

but instead you were rambling.

“what happened to grace? how bad is it?”

“y/n, are you okay?”

“is she dying? you wouldn’t be asking for help if it wasn’t bad, jake, how bad is it?!”

“y/n!” his larger hands cupped your face gently, making you focus on him. he was breathless, you realized. eyes staring at her desperately. “are you okay?”

shocked by this, all you did was respond quietly. “yes, i’m fine.”

mo’at attempted to transfer grace’s spirit to her avatar body permanently, but it was too late. you grieved quietly as jake gave his speech to the people about fighting back against the sky people. days go by and jake recruits many more tribes to join the fight. he had come back when you were back at the tree of souls, hoping to talk to grace’s spirit if she was listening.

he stood close at your side. the height difference between you two was ghastly but you had grown used to the na’vi towering over you. although it was different when it was jake.

“will you fight?” he asked you.

“of course.” you said without hesitation.

jake frowns, “do you have an avatar?”

“yes.”

“will you use it?”

“no.”

“then how can you say you will fight?”

you frown back at him, “it’s my decision, sully. i rather die as a human rather than someone i’m not meant to be.”

“but i do not want you to die.” he hissed, grasping your shoulders. the intense look had fallen on him once more. and this time it overwhelmed you. “if you will fight, fine. but promise me you won’t die, l/n. please.”

you didn’t make any promises but you said you would try. you knew that wasn’t enough for him and he knew he couldn’t stop you from defending the na’vi. because that was what you had always done from the beginning. and you weren’t going to stop now.

you didn’t see jake after that. instead you were alone. after stealing a ship, you had taken down at least two of the rda’s machines before your ship had been hit. right before you crashed, you used your gun to bring one final blow to the colonel’s, making his fall as well.

unfortunately, you were badly injured. and it didn’t look too good, especially when you crawled your way out of the ship and rested against the tree in your final moments. you never imagined dying alone and in the middle of a war. your parents were already long dead, you had no siblings, no children, no lover. regret couldn’t even describe what you felt in that moment.

mo’at had found you before you passed out. she held your face gently and whispered something in her language.

and she said something you never thought you’d ever hear.

“i see you, y/n.” she whispered to you quietly.

the chaos around you had gone silent when she had said those words to you. those familiar words that was only used between their people. and here she was, saying it to you like a mother would a daughter.

“your death will not be in vein.”

you shake your head weakly, “i don’t want to die yet.” but it seemed the world was only darkening as you spoke. it’s as if the more you talked the more energy you wasted. “j-just tell jake…”

“ssh, little one.” mo’at gently patted your head. “rest. he will be okay.”

that’s what you hoped. that’s what you wished.

and before you knew it, darkness enveloped you.

technically, you hadn’t expected to wake up. you hadn’t expected to good as new or have blue skin when you did.

and you certainly didn’t expect to see your dead human body next to you.

mo’at stood next you, saying you were now apart of the na’vi. after risking your life to save her people, she believed you deserved a second chance.

she had pulled you away to the celebration for winning the war. it wa strange being in a whole new body but you were glad. you were happy.

there was just one thing you wanted.

“where’s jake?”

mo’at raised her brows, “jakesully? he should be back soon from meeting.”

so you stayed next to mo’at for most of the day, learning the basics of what to expect now that you were na’vi.

jake had returned later that night and found your body at the tree of souls. he saw the blood, the loss of color in your face. you had been dead for a while. but under the tree of souls?

“y/n!” he called.

he went searching for you. it wasn’t until he reached the camp where the celebration was did he finally see you. the new you.

both your eyes locked. jake came to you first and pulled you in a tight and long hug.

“i told you not to die, skxawng.”

you grinned into his shoulder, ”ah, so you know what that means now.”

he frowned at you though the amused glint in his eyes wasn’t missed. “y/n.”

“next time i’ll pinky promise.”

knowing he couldn’t stay mad at you, he just pulls you into another hug. this one lasting longer than the other. he just couldn’t find himself letting you go any time soon.

a bit of time goes by. you train to officially become one of the people. then you arrived at your ceremony. you officially become a part of the na’vi.

after the ceremony, you go and ride off with jake and his new banshee to a private spot for just the two of you and have a lighthearted chat about how you both were excited for your new lives.

then the topic of mates comes up.

“have you chosen one?” you ask despite already knowing the answer.

jake nods, “yes.”

of course.

you try not to frown as you looked away and said halfheartedly, “it might take awhile to choose mine. tsu’tey doesn’t seem too bad. he could make a good mate just as neytiri is for you.”

suddenly his strong grip wrapped around your arm and pulled you closer to him, surprising you.

“i never said i wanted neytiri.” then he smirked amusingly, “nor did i say who it was.”

you pouted, “you’re being mean.”

he nestled his nose into your shoulder as he mumbled against your skin, “i’m still wondering if she would accept me.”

it could be too good to be true. you wanted to believe it.

almost as if jake read your mind, he cupped your face with his larger hands and pulled her face closer to his.

“will you have me? as yours?”

without hesitation you nod, “yes. i will have you if you choose to have me.”

he smiled then, “i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

then your lips touched. then your heart melted. then your skin was no longer cold.

he was yours. and you were his.

[lilbitdepressed27]

Mable/Fem!Reader implied g!p

Warnings: angst, violence, death

WC: 4.2k

Author’s Note: sorry for any mistakes

*This will be connected to another fic*

Going with Charlie was the best decision you made. You knew your older brother Tommy would complain but her was your older half brother you knew he would give in. As much as he was a hard head and a bit of a jackass. He always had a soft spot for you and Charlie. More you since you were his little sister.

You always loved going to work with your older brother. Catching fish and being in the middle of the ocean. Was something you had enjoyed since you were little. Tom's dad Jay always let you tag along even when your dad would get mad. It was something you loved doing.

"Tommy!" You shouted, your excitement of seeing your big brother overflowing. It had been almost a year since you last seen your brother. You had just finished your second year of college. With you going to college to be a Marine Biologist. You were busy, but four long years of sleepless nights, long days of studying you were free of all that stress.

You didn't give your brother the chance to react before you basically barreled into him. His laugh being cut off as you both fell.

"Get off me, you little shit. I swear you get taller every single damn time I see you."

Helping him you he hugged you properly.

*

You helped your brother on the boat where ever you could. The days you spent on the ocean had been long but exciting. You absolutely adored the sea. Another thing you loved to do was to take pictures or making film. The amount of pictures you've taken in just the days spent on the boat, it had been a lot. The day Harmony went down had been the scariest thing that's ever happened to you.

You had been in the bathroom, using Rocky's bathroom to shower and freshen up. As much as you loved being on the boat. You absolutely hated not showering. So you always tried your best to stay clean. By the time your were finished you had stepped back into the bar to hear your dad arguing with your brother.

"—Excuse me?"

"Dad I'm going back. I'm going back to sea. I as soon as we get another—."

You heard them continue to argue before the sound of a girls voice interrupted both of them.

"Hey, these boys almost drowned last night. You should be hugging your boy, not yelling at him."

You stepped from the corner to see your dad glaring at Charlie. "Dad?" Sharing a look with Charlie and Tom. More with Charlie seeing as it was your father after all.

"Y/n are you going to continue doing this? Instead of accepting that job that was basically put into your hands."

You scoffed remembering about the said job. "You're kidding right? They were complete assholes. Not to mention the pay was a joke. At least with Tom and his crew, I have more free range with my work. If you could just look at the pictures I've take-Call your mother she's worried sick. I'm late for a meeting." You didn't even have a chance to get out your camera before he walked out of the bar.

You looked down at the camera bag that was still a bit wet. But thankfully the camera it self was still dry and working.

"Hey Y/n your pictures are fucking awesome. They make all of us look so badass." Costa reassured. Taking in how sad you had gotten. As a father to be himself he couldn't imagine talking to his kid like that.

Nunes was quick to jump in, "Yea, especially the videos. I can't wait for all that editing stuff you said you'd do."

Tom handed you a beer as the girl spoke up.

"I'd like to see your pictures if you don't mind."

The small smile, that looked more like a smirk was what you got. She was absolutely gorgeous. The smile was a bit more gentle the longer she looked at you. "Sure." You took out your camera. Ignoring the teasing smiles of Charlie and the boys.

The short brunette was by your side in seconds. Pulling you to the empty couch, sitting quite close to you. "What was your name again?"

"Mable and you're Y/n. So you gonna show me those pictures."

*

While Tom and Charlie went to go see something about the boat. You stayed behind at the bar. Telling Tom you wanted to stretch your legs and you'd walk to his house. So with a nod he was off with Charlie.

You didn't make it far from the bar before Mable was by your side. "So where we headed?"

With a smile of your own you nudged her with your elbow, seeing as she was that close. Not that you minded, in just a short time you were quite comfortable with Mable. "You tell me, you're the local here. I feel like you know all the good places."

With your camera around your neck, you always took up the opportunity to take the perfect pictures. With an absolutely beautiful woman to your side. She came out in a lot pictures.

"Of course I do. But in order for you to see all these great places of mine, I need to know if you're ready to do everything I ask."

You tired to keep the warmness in your cheeks at bay at the way Mable was looking at you. Her confidence and straight forwardness was something you had to get used to.

It just a short amount of time, you and Mable bonded. Was it moving a bit fast. Yes, others might think so. But you've never met someone that made you feel so much. Mable was like that breath of fresh air. She was amazing, smart, cunning and not mention absolutely beautiful. "Mmh maybe."

With a short laugh, she took your hand and lead you to god knows where. But you happily followed. Completely trusting her.

*

Meeting Mable was such highlight. She had been quite persistent to be near you. And you welcomed it. You loved spending time with her. You arrived at Costas party with your brothers. Leaving your already packed bag in Tommy's truck. You always preferred to pack days before going to work with Tommy. Unlike your brother Charlie who always packed at the last second.

"Hey."

You had been refilling your drink when Mable arrived at the party. Mable couldn't get enough of you. She had spent all day yesterday with you and she planned to do the same today. There was just something about you that had her feeling so free, so much. You were like a breath of fresh air. The way you looked at her with that cute smile on your face had her feeling so much. All she wanted was to kiss you.

The smile that made her feel like she was on cloud nine, she could only imagine what it would feel like to kiss you. She was never too afraid to get what she wanted. And she wanted you. She'd make sure you knew that.

"Hi Mable." You filled her cup with some beer.

You spent the rest of the party with Mable. When she asked you to go with her, you were embarrassingly quick to agree. Telling Tom and Charlie if they could take your bag and camera onto the boat. Charlie had told you not to worry. While Tom had said to be on the boat by 8:00 am.

"So where we-Mable can you give me a ride." You were cut off by Skeemo who was swaying a bit from how much he had drank. You bit back a laugh as he stumble a bit on his feet.

"Threes a crowd, find your own ride."

"Come on, I can't feel my legs and it's not that far."

With a look directed at you she sighed and moved to push the front seat forward. The drive was quiet. You liked Skeemo he was funny and he also welcomed you and Charlie on to the crew with no open arms. But you couldn't deny that you wanted to spend your time with Mable, alone.

"Alright thanks, oh and Tom doesn't like when we're late so. 8 am sharp."

Meting Mable's mom hadn't been planned but you also knew Mable was in the 'drug business' she didn't do the drug but she did sell it. And you didn't judge. After that awkward conversation with said mother, you did have to voice out that you did like Mable and weren't planning to hit and run.

You stopped Mable's fast paced out of the apartment complex. Stopping her on the side walk. "Hey, you do know that I'm not going to do that, right? I like you Mable. A lot. And if you'd like, and interested of course wanna go on a date with me?"

A small smile was directed your way, this was the first time you saw her vulnerable. Her eyes held so much emotions. You felt like you could read her so well. It was a little scary. It hasn't been a full 48 hours since you've met Mable but yet it felt like you were old friends. You couldn't explain it but there was something about Mable that made you feel like she was, your other half? It was weird but yet you couldn't explain it any other way.

"You're such an idiot, of course I want to. My mom she's...I don't want that. I want to give myself a shot, I want to make the most out of myself, my life and I'm not sure how I'm going to do it but I know that I can." Mable had wanted nothing more than to just get out of this town. To move on live life. Go to college. But it was hard. She needed money and easy money is faster. Which was why she did what she did.

"I know you can Mable. Granted I've only known you for less than fourth eight hours but in this short time I know you have a way to do and accomplish what ever that pretty mind sets its mind to. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, okay?"

Mable couldn't look away from your eyes. The way they held so much certainty and confidence in her, made her feel so warm inside. Never did she have some who believed in her so much. "Okay."

"Okay," you nodded a smile placed on your face. "Come on then." You began to walk in the direction you hoped led to the car.

Mable couldn't help the smile nor the chuckle that escaped her lips. "My car is this way."

*

Mable's apartment was small but yet perfect. The area was filled with little things that just fit Mable perfectly. The stack of books on the coffee table, the books that were neatly on the small book shelf. The place was dark but yet the lights that did light up the place made the place warm.

"It's not much but it's home."

You smiled as you shook your head, "Not it's perfect."

Mable couldn't deny that she absolutely loved having you in her space. You had been the first and only to ever set foot in her small apartment. Your presence made her feel, complete? Which was crazy and a bit scary. Yet she wasn't stopping it. You weren't wrong, she did have a way to get what she wanted. And right now. Right now she wanted you.

*

You felt light kisses being placed on your neck, the weight of Mable's body felt so comfortable on your side. The sensation of her lips on your skin, it was something you certainly could get used to. The feeling of a warm hand smoothing over your bare stomach. The said hand continued it's journey down,

"You're asleep but the rest of you is awake."

The fogginess of your sleep, faded as Mable continued. "You like me Y/n?"

"Yea." You flipped her over, so you were now on top. Leaning down, taking her lips in yours. The kisses becoming more heavy and filled with lust.

"Like me a little lower."

You weren't one to disagree, kissing your way down. just before you could continue the sound of Mable's phone interrupted you. "Who's calling you so early?"

Mable absolutely loved having you between her legs. The sight was something she could get used to. The pleasure you had her go through last night had been the best she ever had. But the sound of her phone had been a the literal cock block. Running her fingers through your smooth hair "It's not that early."

You felt yourself quickly sit up, "what?"

"I put cardboard on the windows. I like the darkness."

You stumbled quickly out of the bed, almost tripping over the blankets as you tore down the cardboard from the window.

"Fuck. No no. No." You dressed as quickly as you could as Mable spoke with Skeemo, who had been the one calling her.

In a matter of seconds you were in Mable's car as she speed off. With what felt like your heart in your throat as the car picked up speed you reached over Mable.

With her eyes on road Mable felt your arm going across her lap. "Wh-what are you doing?" A soft click was her answer, a smile making it's way on her lips. "Really?"

"What? Safety first." You shrugged with a smile as you also put only your seat belt.

"Dork." She said as she took a sharp turn.

"There's actually something I wanted to talk you about. Community college? Do you think that's stupid or smart."

Your hand was clutching the handle on the car door at the sharp turn leading to the dyke. "What?"

"I've been wanting to go but I'm not-Mable you are smart, and you can do whatever your beautiful mind sets on doing. You can do it, not that it matters but I believe in you." The smile you got in return made you feel like you won the lottery. Her hand taking your shirt into a fist as she brought you into a quick kiss.

"Trust me, it matters. Now go! Good luck!" She shouted as you ran down the dyke. Jumping into the water as your brother and the boys cheered you on.

*

Being on the sea for ten days was as you could expect. You learned a lot about how to catch clams. The pictures you've taken so far had you excited to show Mable once you got back. The humpbacks you had seen had you extremely excited to capture those beautiful animals on film.

Skeemo taught you a few things and your older brother Tommy taught you how to drive the boat. You loved these moments with the team. Not only were you learning so much about fishing you were also expanding your experience with the camera.

Being in Canadian waters felt off, but with how much the you were reeling in, was it worth it? At the moment yes it was. That was until the Canadian coast guard showed up. Everything from there kept on going down hill.

*

"I have to write a letter for my college application" Mable asked as she kissed you, you had only been gone for a few days and she missed you like crazy. But she absolutely loved the feelings you made her feel. She could feel how much you liked it as well as she rocked on your lap. Your hands tangling in her hair bringing her closer.

Getting back early from what was supposed to be a ten day trip, Mable found you, seeing as you didn't have her number. Seeing Tommy's dad and finding out about his cancer, it was harder for Tommy to tell his father about his boat. It had been quite a tough thing to do.

You had to leave your house after an argument with your dad. Charlie also had left to find Tommy. Mable picked you up from your house. Which was why you both were now in her car in an empty parking lot.

"Make it personal? Make it about what makes you scared, what makes you happy?" You were in her car laying flat on the passenger seat, as she tried to catch her breath.

"Mmh I'll do that. Now how about you come with me. There's something I want to show you."

*

"Holy shit Mable." You stood back in awe. The view in front of you was absolutely stunning. The boat was a wrecked boat leaning on a rock cliff, but it had been completely over taken by mother nature. Grass now growing on the deck of the boat. A small water fall was by the boat making it even more beautiful.

"I thought you'd like it."

"I love it." You took out your camera, taking a picture. "Get in front."

Mable shook her head a smirk placed on her face, "Not without you."

You looked around seeing a rock at a perfect height not far. You placed your camera down setting it on a timer. "Alright then."

Mable was quick to get to your side. Her arms wrapping around your waist. One of her hands making it's way under your shirt. Her nails gently scratching your stomach. Your own arms wrapping around her shoulder bringing her closer. Her eyes looked up at you. Your own looking down at her.

You felt so absolutely in love.

*

"Wait where exactly are you guys going to get 100,000 dollars?" Mable asked her jaw dropping a bit. Three days had passed since she took you on that wrecked boat. You had just gotten back from going with Tommy and the rest of the crew to the court house.

"I have no clue." You laid face down on the couch of Mable's apartment. "I feel so helpless. Who the hell has that kinda cash? Can't even win it on onlyfans if I wanted to."

"Well I mean with how big your-Mable!" You quickly sat up face now flushed. Her laugh was heard through out the apartment. She stood up from her chair at her desk. Shutting her laptop and going to you. Sitting on your lap.

"I'm sorry. You guys will find a way, I don't know how but you will." Mable also felt helpless. She hated seeing you so upset, it was like how upset you had been when your own father turned you down and ignored you and your pictures, when she first met you.

*

You were nervous. Scared even. The plan was horrible to begin with. You hated the plan from the start. You couldn't believe that Charlie and Mable cooked this up. You were a little peeved but it was to help Tommy and you knew Mable just wanted to help.

The meet up at the donut shop had been so tense. You never left her side standing close even when the man who gave Tommy the cash gave you the creeps.

The plan was simple. Pick up the drugs, deliver the drugs. Get the money and that was it.

"You're staying."

"What? Hell no. I'm going with you guys."

Tommy stopped in front of you, tilting his head a bit up to look at you. You were his little sister. Half sister but sister nevertheless. He was already mad at Charlie for coming up with the plan. He didn't even know how he came up with it. Angry that he had already pulled his little brother into this bullshit. He couldn't bring you into this as well.

"Y/n you're a great kid and I told Charlie this but he won't listen-Tommy he's my twin brother. You really think I'm going to listen?"

"I hate you both, you know that?" He groaned in frustration.

"We love you to now come on."

*

Tommy and Charlie left the parking lot with the drugs, following the plan delivering the drugs. You had stayed with Mable, while Costa, Nunes and Skeemo left the parking lot to the bar.

"You're not going to go with them?" Mable looked at you as the boys got in the truck.

"No, I'm gonna stay with you. I don't want you alone right now." You held out for her hand and she was quick to take yours in hers. Giving your hand a squeeze.

Her free hand coming up to caress your cheek. "What? Gonna protect me from the bad guys?"

"With my life."

*

Mable was putting herself in danger and you refused to leave her side. You knew she wouldn’t set you or boys up. Tommy and Charlie had been jumped as they made their way to the donut shop, the drugs had been taken. Meaning everyone was in deep shit. So you had defended her against your brother Tommy. Even when she had begged but you refused to leave her. Your brothers had each other and you knew they could keep each other safe. Not mention Costa and Nunes. So you left with her. Leaving your brothers and the boys

*

"Hey I believe you." You cupped her cheeks making her brown eyes, that were slightly red from her holding in her tears. "I trust you Mable." You lightly pecked her lips.

"I swear Y/n. I swear I didn't rat you out. I didn't tell anyone about the deal. I would never do that you or the guys. I did-Mable. I. Believe. You. Okay?" You stopped her rambling. You hated how she know doubted it.

"We'll find out what really happened. We just need Tommy to calm down. He's scared, we all are. Just gi-" The sound of the someone knocking on the door you let out a sigh, letting go of Mable to go answer the door.

The moment you opened the door a your face was struck hard with something. You didn't let the what you think was fist take you down. You were quick to return the punch catching one of the guys from the donut shop off guard. You fought hard. Trying your best but it wasn't enough three other men came into the apartment.

The moment you had been hit, Mable had moved to help only able to kick the man in between the legs before the others came in. One man succeeding in holding her down after punching her a few times. She thrashed in his hold hearing your grunts of pain as you were beaten.

"Now Mable. Where is my stuff?"

"I don't know. I swear." She cried as she watched you continue to fight the big man. You were doing damage but the other man who just recovered from being hit in the balls helped in beating you.

"Stop it!! Please. We don't know!" Her cry was cut off by a harsh slap by Pete. She watched as he gave a nod to the two men. She could only watch as you were beaten, your face covered in blood.

"Stop it! I swear. I swear I don't know where it is!"

Mable cried as she was held down as she watched them beat you. You had tried to fight back but you had been quickly over powered. She could only watch as their fist came down hard on to your face and body.

"Mm I don't know. Seems to me like you're lying." Pete let out a mock laugh. Taking out a gun from his jacket.

The sound of the gun clicking had her thrashing hard trying everything and anything to get out of this guys hold.

But it wasn't enough. He held the gun towards you.

"No!! Please! Please!! Stop it! Don't do this please."

"Show her why you shouldn't fuck with me or my money."

The sound of you chocking on your own blood had her tears blur her vision, "it's it's okay Mable. It's okay. It's-"

Screams filled the room. Her own scream as she was finally out of the clutches of those men. The sound of the gun shot rattled her ears. The men cleared the apartment. And she was quick to get to you.

"Y/n? Baby? Come on, please." The blood poured out from the bullet wound. The wound was right on your heart. Her unsteady hands doing their best to stop the bleeding. Using one hand to call the police. She needed an ambulance. You needed the ambulance. She didn't care about those stupid smugglers. She didn't care that she was putting herself in more danger.

You needed help.

"Help-help is on the way, okay. You just stay with me. Okay?" Looking down at your bloody and bruised face, the daunting feeling of not moving came. "Y/n?" Her shaky fingers checking your neck for a pulse. The aching deep feeling of great loss, the emptiness, the denial came crashing down.

You had no pulse.

"No, no. Please no. Y/n? Come on open your eyes. Open them please. Please don't do this to me. I'm begging you." The sobs that left her lips were heart wrenching, she felt like she could breath. Feeling like someone just took a part of her. Ripped her heart out and left her there to die.

But you remained unmoving. Your once warm cheeks were now cold. Now just realizing that your eyes were not closing. Those y/ec eyes that were once filled with so much joy, love, thrill to live life were now lifeless.

You were gone. Taken from her far too early. Far too soon.

:(

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Summer Fling Part 2/10

Part 1 Part 3

Summary - Reader has landed a research job at a marine biology lab in Portugal. She is, therefore, staying with her sister and her sister's Portuguese boyfriend for the summer holidays. There, she meets Ruben Dias, who is on vacation with his friends after the 2024 Euros. However, the two meet under the circumstances in which Ruben believes that Reader is a prostitute.

Enjoy! ☀️

Who would have thought that after a night out and several rounds of drinks, you still weren't able to turn your sleep schedule around. Apparently, you left Australia, but Australia refused to leave you, resulting in another night of laying on your back and admiring the sealing.

"Fuck, Diogo!"

"Right there!"

"Yes, right there!"

"Ohhhh God!"

However, even if you did turn your sleep schedule around, falling asleep to the sounds of your sister getting her back blown by her boyfriend would've simply been impossible.

"Yes, Diogo. Yeeees!"

You covered your ears with your hands and prayed for better times. But when that didn't work, you got out of bed, hopped in the shower, and left the house.

Diogo didn't live too far from the city of Albufeira. You and your sister were too drunk to make it back to Faro last night. Staying with him was the most convenient thing to do. You made it back downtown by hopping on a train. However, there wasn't much to see in the morning since it was still early hours. Street sweepers were seen cleaning up the aftermath of last night's partying, and soon tourists and their family's would make their way down the white sandcastle hills, exploring another day in paradise.

"One ticket to the Zoomarine, please."

You got pretty bored of lounging around the streets like a hungover hobo. The next best thing to do was to buy a ticket to the Algarve Zoomarine, a water park with live dolphin shows and displays of marine life. As a kid, you used to love visiting these types of places in Australia. However, after years of education, you saw these places for what they really were. Animal crime scenes.

You sat in on one of the dolphin shows but couldn't last ten minutes before abandoning your seat. It was simply a disgrace to see those poor animals forced to do tricks and interact with humans. All for the sake of being given fish as a treat.

"They're pretty amazing, no? Those blue puffer fish."

You came to mourn the Portuguese marine life while admiring a giant aquarium. When suddenly, a man, blonde and blue eyes, startled you. Even more so when he spoke to you with an Australian accent.

"Yes, amazing indeed." You said. "But these puffer fish should be set free in the wild, not swim around in some aquarium pool in the middle of a tourist trap."

"I don't know...." The man scratched the cap he wore on top of his head. If you hadn't been so full of yourself, you might have noticed that the text on his cap read: Algarve marine life rescue and research. "Setting these bad boys free in the wild might be more dangerous than it is for us to keep them here," the man said.

"That doesn't make any sense. All animals should be set free to live in their natural habitat."

"Well, that I agree." He smiled. "However, these particular puffer fishes are used to help produce antidotes for tetrodotoxin. It's actually ongoing research."

"You're a marine biologist?" You frowned.

The man's smile widened. "Most of us working at the park are. If not in the ocean, the best place to house our underwater friends is surprisingly in this water park."

"Oh." Heat rose to your face.

"I'm glad to see a fellow animal activist, though. Whereabouts are you from? I know an Aussie accent when I hear one."

"Sydney." You blushed. "I'm from Sydney Australia."

"Brisbane." The man offered you his hand. You shook it vigorously.

"Are you just here for the summer holidays or...?" The man's accent was suddenly flourishing.

"Yes and no. I'm actually a marine biologist myself."

"Are you now?" He regarded you curiously, his smile even wider now, which you didn't think possible.

"Well, I'm still doing my masters in marine ecology. That's actually why I'm here in Portugal this summer, to finish my research in a lab not too far from here."

"In Faro?"

"How did you know?"

"Well, I believe it's the only known marine biology lab in the Algarve region."

"Really?"

"Yes, at least the only known lab that would take on a young woman like yourself. The other labs consist of snobby middle-aged men who wouldn't care to advocate for the innocent life of puffer fishes."

"Interesting. I must have gotten lucky then."

"I doubt it. I pick my students carefully. Your research portfolio must have been stellar."

"Wait—"

The man removed the cap from his head, revealing his bleach blonde hair and surprisingly young face. "I'm Gavin Philips, and I believe to be your lab partner for this summer."

"Lab....partner?" You hesitated to shake the man's hand again, however, he insisted.

"Labpartner, examinator, professor....most students just call me Gavin."

"Gavin."

"Yes, and what might your name be?"

"Erm...it's Y/N."

"Pleasure meeting you Y/N. I look forward to working with you this summer."

"Erm...thank you."

What a coincidence, you thought, during your train ride home. To meet the man with the power to decide your future as a marine biologist was definitely not on your summer bingo card. He seemed like a nice guy, though. And you had the Australia connection, which was perhaps a good thing, knowing how things could get when working in a male dominated setting. You were in need of an ally, and Gavin Phillips might just be the right guy for the job.

"There she is! Y/N, where the hell have you been all day?"

You were welcomed back by your sister and Diogo, both looking dressed for a day at the beach. Diogo, with his mountains for muscles, carried several bags from the house to his car, a luxurious Range Rover.

"What do you mean? It's barely noon." You said.

"Yes, but Diogo is taking us to Lagos today. Didn't I tell you that?"

"No, no you didn't."

"Well, I'm telling you now. Go pack your bags and don't forget to pack an extra pair of G-strings."

"Great."

You were set for another day in party paradise. However, five days had passed since your flight from Sydney, and you still hadn't gotten an ounce of a proper night's sleep.

Part 1 Part 3

[zivazivc]

what's your headcanon about the bergens keeping the trolls as prisoners?

OHOHOHOHO! fair warning, my headcanons tend to be really dark and this is no exception.

I'm not typing this anew, I'm just pasting two blocks of text I sent to a friend via tumblr messenger on two different occasions, so it might feel a bit disjointed while reading:

block of text one:

okay basically in my hc trollstice is also a once a year thing but it’s not barbaric in the sense that on that day they let the bergens into the cage and they just go ham catching trolls left and right. in my hc king peppy and chef actually have a fucked up agreement where chef shows up a few weeks/days before trollstice on a particular year and tells him how many trolls she needs that year and then the trolls pick that year’s victims by lot (only trolls who are 40 and older participate (with a few exceptions like obvs the king, but also rosiepuff but more on that some other time)) (also the age limit used to be much higher at the very beginning but they had to adjust to their population growing smaller). they implemented this to keep the kids safe and also to kinda force the population to reproduce more, because everyone starts having kids young bc they want to see them grow up before there’s a chance that they can get picked for the next trollstice (it’s also why jd and freesia we’re already thinking of starting a family at 18) ANYWAY during all this the trolls have been secretly digging the escape tunnels for years, and they are getting close but they keep pushing the date back because of cave ins or other setbacks. ANYWAY the bergen king has a baby son who will be old enough for his very first trollstice in a few years, and the chef being a demon spawn proposes that the prince’s very first troll should be a princess. king peppy and everyone is horrified because viva is still young and he tries arguing that she’s the only heir to the throne. So then Chef is like “then make a new princess for the prince, you still have two years time”. SO THEN the king is forced to have poppy (hence why she’s so much younger than viva 🙃) but the trolls are still all horrified of the idea that the bergens would eat a child so they collectively start working extra hard in the tunnels and they manage to finish them just in time for the prince’s first trollstice…….

this would also explain why chef was so confident about where baby poppy was located at the last trollstice at the beginning of the first movie when she walked into the cage and knew which pod to grab - it all had to be planned in advance.

AND there being no “old” trolls would also explain why so much life wisdom and knowledge about the outside world managed to disappear during the time the trolls were imprisoned. no grandmas or grandpas to pass the knowledge on.

.

.

block of text two:

in my hc rosiepuff isn't the brothers’ grandma but is actually their great or maybe even their great great grandma, who was alive when the bergens arrived. she was from a family of like “biologists” who studied plants and fungi and knew how to take anything in their natural surroundings and use it as food or to make medicine. they were like witch doctors or folk healers, something in those lines. rosiepuff was pretty young when the bergens arrived and by the time the bergens and trolls implemented trollstice and the rules about picking who gets eaten, she was the only one left from her family. and the troll king at the time chose to excuse/prohibit her from participating in trollstice in the hopes of her passing on what was left of her family’s knowledge about wild plants because they will need it when they escape and will have to survive in the wild and build their society from scratch. so rosiepuff was basically the wise elder at the troll tree and she also drilled her knowledge into all her children and grandchildren and this is why branch and the other four were able to survive so well on their own. especially branch, who lived alone with her for a few years before she died and just hyperfocused on her teachings and his promise to build a bunker. the reason she died the way she did is that chef was experimenting with a new recipe for the bergen prince’s first trollstice so she quickly popped into the cage the day before trollstice and just snatched the first troll she could get her hands on… she basically died just the day before the trolls escaped. :( which is also why clay didn’t find out about it (in my hc clay didn’t escape the troll tree the way jd, spruce and floyd did)

[seat-safety-switch]

Everything around us is made of a series of little miracles. Look at an airplane: that shit is objectively crazy on the face of it. We're just used to the whole thing. You would show the airplane to a caveman and he would drop stone dead on the spot, his brain leaking out of his ears onto the Paleolithic tundra, preferring to die rather than to believe such a thing is possible. And that's before you start pulling the airplane apart.

We are lucky, all of us, to be in this era where not only are crazy stunts of engineering and manufacturing prowess possible, but that they are common. You can walk your ass down to the Auto Value and pick yourself up a wheel bearing, which itself is made out of many near-identical and precisely-constructed and ball bearings to a degree that would have been impossible a hundred years ago, for five fucking dollars. That's the cheap shit one, too, so don't put that in your car. It won't last more than 200,000 km, not like the seven-dollar one will.

Charles Babbage, the guy who invented the mechanical computer? You know what he spent most of his time doing? Hiring folks to make screws that were all the same kind. Yeah. The idea of being able to just buy a screw and put it in a consistent hole was not a thing in his era. Hell, he even got into a fight with the Queen about how wide to make railroad tracks ("all the same," he said. "a bunch of crazy fucking different sizes," said England.) Nope, it's the computer made with all of those screws that our history books are all psyched about. It goes clickity-clack and tells us that four times four is sixteen!

A biologist would tell us that we're just trying to emulate the greatest miracle of all, the existence of organic life, blah blah who cares? I got that for free from my parents. What I didn't get was a radio modem the size of a fingernail that lets me send poop emojis to Egypt at the speed of thought. Apologies to all of my distant ancestors who had to work out how to evolve, like, toes and stuff. That was probably really hard, but now I'm reaping the benefits. For instance, without toes, I wouldn't appreciate the machine I just now saw on YouTube that weaves brand-new socks out of planet-killing industrial microplastic waste. Pretty rad! I bet it's got some very precise screws in it.

[catboybiologist]

Okay maybe it's time to make an actual designated pinned post

Edit: hiya! A new pinned post will come, but quick note that I am starting my transition MtF now. This pinned post, and all the pictures in it, predate that, however. General guide is that I'm referring to pre transition me as a femboy, and will be referring to myself as a trans woman to moment I start HRT. But I'm leaving this old pinned post up for now.

Hi! I'm CatboyBiologist. I'm a grad student in Molecular Biology with a passion for the ocean, nature, Fromsoft games, national parks, and weird tech stuff. I tastefully hornypost about men, women, and all others (so be warned), post spicy hot memes (fuck you I'm the funniest mfer alive), type out long rambles about science and nature, and play Fromsoft games. PLEASE send me cute pictures of your pets.

Oh yeah, I'm also a cis man who does this sometimes:

I also make shitposts out of myself sometimes

I've also made a couple guides on how to replicate these kinds of looks.

General overview of femboy stuff:

How I create cleavage looks from a relatively flat chest:

If you want a somewhat more realistic idea of what my figure looks like:

The best way to specifically see those posts and filter out everything else is probably to use the femboy tag on my profile.

Pronouns? Uuuuuhhhhhhhhh, idk dude just use whatever. It's far more gratifying to me to throw a look out there and see what people wanna use for it than to declare my pronouns. If that doesn't make sense to you, they/them or he/him is cool.

Asks and DMs are always open for science talk, cute animal pictures, casual non creepy flirting, or whatever else... With the SOLE exception of these two questions that I get WAY too often and will give final answers to here:

"Are you a biologist who studies catboys or a biologist that just happens to be a Catboy?"

Both. Do humans not study human biology?

(also I'm actually studying bio irl)

"why is it not catboyologist, hmmm? I am very clever"

To give a serious answer to a joking question I get way too much: This online persona (or whatever you want to call it) is about balancing and integrating two large parts of my personality: my career in and passion for biology, and my queerness and gender nonconformity. I wanted both of those parts to be clear, in a cute and fun username. Basically, "catboyologist" only has the same effect as my actual username if you already know my actual username- you can't interpret the "biologist" part from "catboyologist".

Plus, "catboyologist" has too many consecutive wide vowels. CatboyBiologist breaks it up so it sounds punchier.

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tag, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

I'll also abuse other tags I use somewhat frequently, so hi y'all

[ro-botany]

How Big Is Grima, Really?

It’s a question as old as Awakening. We all know the fell dragon is fucking gigantic; but no one’s measured them to find out exactly how gigantic they are.

As an enthusiastic dragon biologist, I feel it’s my duty to set the record straight.

TL;DR

Through careful measuring of character models ripped directly from the files of Engage, I determined the Chrom's height in centimeters. Then, using those measurements along with character models ripped from Awakening, I measured the true size of Grima as they appear in the endgame.

According to my measurements, Grima:

Is ~726.8 m (2384 ft) long from snout to tail tip.

Is ~349.7 m (1147 ft) long from snout to vent.

Has an ~815.6 m (2676 ft) wingspan (middle pair of limbs)

(Look at how small Chrom looks compared to them, good grief)

Want a more in-depth look at how I determined this? My entire process is documented in detail below the cut.

(Also, consider this an invitation: if there's any character from the 3DS fire emblems or engage that you want to know the size of, send me an ask and I might be able to measure them for you.)

---

Preparations

Finding a way to measure Grima is difficult due to the simple fact that nothing and nobody in Awakening can reliably be used as a ruler. We’re not given precise sizes for any objects, and no characters have canonical heights.

Luckily for us, Awakening is not the only game which features its own characters! Several members of its cast are featured in Engage as emblems. This is important because the non-emblem characters in Engage – and the Three Houses emblems also kicking around – all have canonical heights! That means that we can use them as rulers to find the height of any character in the game who doesn’t have one. And once we have a height measurement for one of Awakening’s cast members, we can use their original Awakening model as a ruler to measure the model of Grima themself.

So, I decided to use Byleth and Fogado as rulers with which to measure Chrom, who would then go on to be the ruler for measuring Grima with.

I personally ripped all models used in this experiment directly from (...legally obtained...) ROMs of Awakening and Engage. This was done to ensure the relative sizes of models from the same game remained consistent with how they appear in-game. Any rips available for download online may have been edited or scaled any number of ways, you can’t trust em.

I also, in all cases, had to perform some surgery on the models; but I did my utmost to put them back together as precisely as possible.

-

Finding Chrom’s Height

As I just mentioned, on the Engage side I decided on Chrom as my ruler, and decided to use Byleth and Fogado to measure him.

Engage’s character models are all patterned off a base model – one for female characters and one for male characters. For each character these base models are sculpted slightly, and then scaling factors are applied to various bones in the rigging to give them their unique proportions – these affect the length and thickness of the torso, arms, legs, head, etc.

For all three of my chosen characters, I:

Ripped their head, hair, skin, and clothing models, along with their rigging, from Engage, and imported them into blender.

Applied basic textures to them so they’re easier to see.

Carefully stitched all the component models back together and onto the rigging.

Carefully stitched the legs and feet of the base model back onto the finished character models. This removes any margin of error we would get from including the soles/heels of their shoes in their measurements.

Ripped each character’s scaling factors from Engage’s data files and applied each factor to the appropriate bones on the rigging. I also compared to screenshots from the game to double-check that everything looked correct.

Used blender’s MeasureIt add-on to measure the distance between the highest point on the top of their heads to the lowest point on the bottom of their left heel, in ONLY the Z axis (which is up and down in blender).

The result is this:

(Ignore their weird eyes, Engage's eye textures are a pain in the ass to replicate and I gave up for now)

Using these measurements, and the canonical heights for Fogado and Byleth, we can come up with conversion factors for translating engage blender units (henceforth called “ebu”) to centimeters.

Fogado is canonically 5’10”, i.e. 177.8 cm (source). So, according to his measurements, 1 ebu = 102.713 cm.

Byleth (male) is canonically 175 cm tall (source). So, according to his measurements, 1 ebu = 101.25 cm.

You may notice those are slightly different numbers when, if these character heights were truly consistent, you would expect them to be the same!

Well, I’m chalking that up to the heights from 3H being in less precise units, and the developers probably not being quite as gung-ho about consistent character heights as I’m being right now. It would probably be smart to use another non-emblem Engage character with more of a height difference than these two to get another conversion factor and see how three data points compares, but... I’m so tired from putting these three bozos’ models together, y’all. I’m done. This is just what we get.

Our two conversion factors give us two possible heights for Chrom. Either he’s about 189.48 cm tall, or he’s 186.79 cm tall. I’m going to take the average of those numbers and use that for Chrom’s height.

We have now found Chrom to be 188.14 cm tall, i.e. 6’ 2”.

...He’s tall! He’s taller than I thought he was, honestly.

-

Measuring Grima

The next step is to take what we know about Chrom, and repeat this process with Chrom and Grima’s models from Awakening.

One frustrating thing about this is that Grima’s in-game model is almost certainly scaled smaller relative to the people than his CG model. And I can’t get the CG models, because those are locked in some vault at IntSys headquarters, and not included in the game files; and there are zero frames in any of the CGs that can be used for this kind of measuring.

But you know what? I spent too long in the Engage ripping mines to give up over CG Grima's differences. In-engine Grima is still ridiculous and I want to know about them.

Awakening’s character models are composed of several parts: A main body (which for humans is class-based, not character-based), in most cases one each of a character-specific head and hair model, and up to two accessory models. Each character also has one scaling value; a multiplier on their model’s overall size. (Tragically you can’t have fun fucking up their proportions like you can Engage characters)

So for each of these two, I:

Ripped all their component models from the game. For Chrom this was the lord class body and his head (which, unlike other characters, also includes his hair). For Grima this was their full-body model and their two accessory models, the upper and lower halves of their mask.

Applied basic textures to them

Carefully stitched their component models together; which effectively was positioning their heads back on their bodies.

For Chrom, I also borrowed a generic head model from another character and aligned it with his regular head; this is so that I could measure his height from the top of his head instead of his hair.

Checked their scaling factors; in this case, I couldn’t find a scaling value for Grima and Chrom had the default value of 1.0, so nothing needed to be done.

Used blender’s MeasureIt add-on to measure them. On Chrom, I measured the z-axis (up-down) distance between the highest vertex on his skull and the lowest vertex on his left heel to get his height. On Grima, three measures were taken; snout-vent (as in snout to the end of their body/base of their tail), snout to tail, and wingspan; each only measured in one relevant axis.

The measurements ended up being this, in what I will henceforth call awakening blender units, or “abu”

Using our estimated height for Chrom from Engage, we calculate our conversion factor; 1 abu = 12.13 cm.

And then we can finally convert Grima's measurements to useful units!

Conclusions

Holy fuck that dragon is large.

[makoodles]

okay but imagine marine biologist!reader making an off handed comment about missing her avatar as she and the children return from free-diving after Ronal asks if she’s alright because she’s clearly a little out of breath.

and suddenly she’s being interrogated by the entire family. the reader awkwardly reveals she had an avatar of her own because it had been more practical to use as she studied the oceans except it had been lost to her when the ship had sealed off before sinking during the first war. but there was a good chance it was still intact in it’s cryopod as the ship had a backup batteries that could last a century even underwater.

there’s a look of devastation on Ronal’s face as she realizes what could have been if the avatar was present. and Tonowari seems to be thinking the same thing as he angrily stomps out of the marui. because the two had been very obviously in love with the sky demon but would not pursue it due to their obvious differences. the next morning Jake Sully finds himself in the middle of the ocean with a very desperate Tonowari with the hopes they can recover the avatar for Ronal to preform the consciousness change thing.

and Jake is so fucking confused but down with it after Tonowari reassured him that the reader isn’t sick or anything. that he just thinks she’s deserving of this after everything she’s done to help the clan after turning on her people all those years ago. and that it wouldn’t hurt to get her into a safer body with the coming war.

and Ronal would be so fucking cocky when the reader asks if she can really preform the ritual.

but plot twist: after the reader is put into her avatar, the Sully children are unbelievably supportive as they take it up upon themselves to show her the Metkayina ways, causing some mixed feelings from Neytiri who had never really given the reader much of a second thought despite her presence among the family when she was human. though now? now she’s actually seeing the reader. and it makes Ronal so fucking jealous because Neytiri keeps pulling the “now that you’ve gotten your avatar, you’ve forgotten us?” card to emotionally guilt the reader whenever she feels that she’s spending too much time with the Metkayina family.

to add onto my marine biologist ask - maybe it’s the RDA that bring back the reader’s avatar? just Quaritch using it to blackmail the reader and the na’vi are so fucking confused and a little angry the the reader keeps going to extreme lengths to protect her avatar even if it means nearly killing herself in the process. it just doesn’t make sense to them because they’ve already accepted her as a human.

one thing leads to another and she takes that bullet for Neteyam during the skirmish but the kids say fuck it. suddenly Lo’ak and Ao’nung are dragging the avatar out of the water and desperately asking Ronal and Neytiri to preform the consciousness change ritual. with Kiri’s help it works.

the reader wakes up on the rock and the kids are sobbing as they cling to her and there’s a moment of peace as even Jake let’s out a breathless laugh as he has to hold back tears but the peace is quickly broken when Ronal begins to lecture her for being a fucking idiot. asking if she happy that she got what she wanted after literally killing herself in the process of it. but she stops mid-sentence when her eyes flicker to the slight swelling in the avatar’s stomach.

even Tonowari is confused as Ronal finds herself at a loss of words. a long moment passes before she simply reaches out and places as hand on the reader’s belly in a sudden understanding.

and that’s when it clicks for them.

the RDA had not been using the reader’s avatar against her but rather the baby it harboured all those years in cryosleep. the baby she had mourned every day for fifteen years. there are a dozen questions from the children about the baby and it’s father but there’s a desperate and scared look from Jake as he’s reminded of Grace and her hard pregnancy.

for the first time Neytiri actually sees the reader for something more then just a sky demon. and she gets super fucking protective after they’ve returned to the village. reasoning that the reader pretty much died for her son so that kind of makes them family and as family it’s only fair she and Jake take care of the reader and her baby. but Ronal argues that the baby might have demon blood but they also have the blood of a water na’vi so they should be taken care of by water na’vi. the reader realizes the feud that’s growing so she thinks she can end it by simply moving into her own marui but it only actually makes it worse cause both families can pretty much walk in at anytime.

but it would be so cute if she named the baby after Lo’ak because the boy harbours so much guilt over her getting shot. believing she wouldn’t have been out there in the first place if it wasn’t for him. but she needs him to understand she isn’t angry at him about it.

broooooo!! i would read a full novel of this !! the kids being super protective over reader is so fucking cute too, especially when the parents are crushing so hard ksrjggh i love it