#billybroadview

[thesetupwizard]

As a professional (who does not wish to be fired) I cannot verify the validity of this chat log-

Professor:  "Can somebody please come and check my webcam? The students keep telling me that I look “sus”. While I do  not understand the slang of these youths I’m assuming something is wrong with my video quality.”

Billy: “So this question may seem a bit weird, but what color robes do you tend to wear on camera?”

Professor:  “Now that you mention it, it is not a weird question at all. I’ve been wearing my best blue robes and that color does seem to come up while they are-”

Billy: “And let me get this straight? You want me to come to your classroom, alone, to “fix a webcam”. Yeah I wasn’t born yesterday! BLUE IS SUS AF!”

[thesetupwizard]

[thesetupwizard]

The Last First Day on the Job

Unlike my boss, I know exactly where to begin. The same place he did. Hello, my name is Billy Broadview, and as of today I am officially a member of the IT Department at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You read that correctly, and presuming you’ve followed us from the begining you already know exactly what that entails. Myself, Jonathan Dart, and Emily Vargo are the front line for all things technical at Hogwarts. Be that WiFi trouble, acceptance emails, teaching ancient Professors how to format a Word document, or outhacking a Wizard with a grudge from a Nintendo 3DS (you’re welcome).

But all of that chaos aside, I’d like to think that our real job is keeping Witches and Wizards such as myself a little more grounded in reality through logic, humor, and compassion. And, while I’ve given him more headaches than I can count over the last 3 years, I can say without question that my mentor Jonathan has done that job better than anybody else ever could have. For that, we thank you sir.

As for me, it’s day one and I already know exactly what my first project will be. An app that updates house points in real time for students. All I need is Adalina’s permission to bend The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office’s Article 38 and hook an electric scale to the hourglasses. Shouldn’t be too hard, I’m friends with her fiancee.

But I digress, I have to get to work- and considering most of you have probably been reading this blog at your office desk while nobody is looking, I’ll assume you do too.

For the final time, this is your in-house magical information technology guy, a Setup Wizard of sorts, signing out.

10,000 IT points for everybody

-Billy

[thesetupwizard]

A Legend, Forever and Always

Billy Broadview here, not to cause havoc this time around! Unless you count emotional distress.

Those who have been paying attention to the blog know that last year was my 7th year. So sadly, yes, I am a free man, meaning you won’t be hearing about my crazy Hogwarts high jinks this year. I know, it’s ok to get emotional. I’m amazing and you’re all clearly going to miss it.

But cheer up. I still have access to the account, primarily because no matter what Johnathan does he can’t seem to get rid of me. So this isn’t a goodbye, but a hello. I’m taking some time off before officially job hunting. Turns out spending half your time at school working on freemium apps gives a man some financial cushioning, and I was just in time because that market is literally collapsing right now. 

Now, off to find the next big thing. I have this kind of out there idea where a developer could theoretically release a product at a set price, and that price would include the entire experience without the need of additional micro-transactions or a premium loot drop system.

It’s pretty wild, and I have no data to show if it would ever actually work, but hey? Nothing ventured? 

Until next time friends.

[thesetupwizard]

Just Another Normal Update

JD (Totally not Billy Broadview Emulating Jonathan)-

Hey it’s me Jonathan. For reals guys. Sorry I haven’t been updating. I’ve been far too busy being a snarky buzzkill picking apart whimsy for my own amusement. Boy oh boy is the mind-blowing fun and adventure of magic lost on me entirely.

Hey you know how Wizards use magic quills with unlimited ink instead of just using pens? That sure is convoluted, which is an original idea I just had which makes me clever. 

(Yeah I got the hang of this blog down)

[thesetupwizard]

I’m the Other One Now

E♥V (Seriously. No way this is just Billy Broadview again)

Hey look the text is bold now so it has to be Emily. Nobody else can format text like this, checkmate!

I’m a witch so I can’t do that same updates as Jonathan, mine get to be in reverse! Oh boy isn’t No-maj society super crazy, am I right? That’s a real word I use because I’m from Canada. It’s totally real and just as valid as Muggle and in no way a silly lesser off brand version.

I guess I’m not updating because I’m spending time in my relationship. Oh boy I know, I’ll have Adalina update next!

[thesetupwizard]

Content for Daysssssssss

Jess Faux! (Ssssshhhh it’s really me, not that beautiful and talented Billy Broadview)

Hey it’s Jessica! You know how Johnathan and Emily sign the top of their posts and Adalina signs the bottom? I do both because reasons. Check out my sick signature at the bottom of my post. It was so cool when I invented it 20 years ago on MSN Messenger. (Seriously that came out in 1999, sorry if you just realized how old you are)

I’m a Metamorphmagus. That means I can change my face to look however I want, and yet I seem to miraculously neglect to use that power to find a boyfriend cooler than Jonathan. 

^,–,^ 
- \_/ -

[thesetupwizard]

Sweet 16!

Billy Broadview making an appearance from the far far mystical land of Boyle,   Ireland (ohhhh maaaaagical) because Easter holiday lined up with my birthday this year! Boom, yay me! Cake and I don’t even need to go to class.

Now sadly they still don’t let me do magic outside of school, which is a shame because I have a new one I learned where I can colour eggs and then make them grow legs and run around. The dogs would’ve loved that!

But yeah, don’t worry Jonathan and Emily- I didn’t want you guys to miss my boyish charms too much while I’m gone so I might have set a couple loose in the castle for you guys to hang out with. The pink one with stripes is my favorite. I named him Scrambles. 

[thesetupwizard]

Hold for Applause

#BillyBroadview in the flesh (but not really because computer). Just checking to see if any of our readers are coders. Simple instructions to follow-

1. Lift your right hand 2. Hover right hand over palm of left hand 3. Bring both hands together 4. Go to instruction 1 5. You are not a programmer

[thesetupwizard]

Second Year on the Job

Where in the world do I begin? Hello, my name is Jonathan Dart, and as of one year ago today, I am the official lead of the IT department at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You read that correctly. For one crazy year now I’ve been maintaining the technological necessities of both students and professors alike.

In that time I’ve made countless friends, discovered exciting new things in this insane world around me, punched a man in the face, tricked the school into buying me a coffee maker, caused a school-wide arguement over the logistics of lightsabers and magic, adopted a pig, compared Lockhart’s love for alliteration with ‘Magic Tree House’ novels, accidentally portkeyed myself into a government official’s apartment, and began dating an amazing girl who can change her own face at will.

But beyond all that, I somehow managed to find an outstandingly amazing group of readers. From the fateful day in which I went from 3 subscribers to 10,000, all the way up until today where we receive messages and comments daily from dedicated fans. You are the reason I am still here. You are the reason why I am still updating.

From February 1st 2016 to Febuary 1st 2017- Thank you. Deeply, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

[thesetupwizard]

Future Billionaire in the Works!

Billy Broadview here, still alive and all that!

I think I finally have it. The best idea yet. I know I say that a lot, but statistically one of these schemes HAS to be the one, and what happens if that ends up being the plan where I don’t open by saying I’ve figured it all out? It’ll all look like an accident, and I won’t be seen as the true visionary I am.

Oh yeah, right, plan. I’m going to start a crowd funding campaign, with the express goal of using it to develop a better crowd funding campaign. It’s like dividing by zero but smarter.

“Donate today to help me come up with a better funding campaign!”

And then with the financial backing from the first campaign, I can do the research and market analysis to come up with a second campaign that is built from the grown up to literally only be hype without actually delivering anything promised! (I can it the ‘No Man’s Sky’ effect) 

[thesetupwizard]

Saving the World, One Website at a Time

Billy Broadview, freelance online analyst at your service!

YouTube people, or I guess that’s Google people. Might I propose a single feature? Just one. Well honestly I’d like to discuss about 15 glaring flaws with the site but I’ll start small.

Add a feature to block just a single ad provider from playing you their ads. Imagine, just one company per account. Like, sure it would microscopically cut into your margin but if somebody hates a specific advertiser so much that they would be willing to use their single “no see” card on them, clearly that provider is drastically cutting down the enjoyment of your site?

I call it the “No More TikTok Ads” button- as I imagine that’s the only real function it would serve.

[thesetupwizard]

Too Late This is Happening!

Important Update from MoMao The Monitors Over Missed Augmentation Opportunities 

Hello. I’d tell you that I’m Adalina but unlike Johnathan and Emily I sign my updates at the end, because I’m completely different from them. Once again this is a super legitimate update and not just Billy Broadview again emulating new content in lieu of actual new content.

You can tell it’s me because my vocabulary is far more magnificent, spectacular,  majestic! [source thesaurus.com] Also my paragraphs are far more concise, without banter or humor. Basically the exact sort of things people want to read when subscribed to a blog of this manner.

Just a reminder not to break Wizard laws and stuff. Remember fun is greatly discouraged. Please report anybody having fun immediately to me.

～ Adalina

Edit: It has dawned on me that Adalina is a real government official and identity theft is a crime so this is totally Billy. Please don’t arrest me.

[thesetupwizard]

*Checks for a pulse*

B-B-B-B-Billy Broadview coming at you live! I’m here to ask the question everybody has been wondering... did everybody die or something?

Seriously Jonathan, Emily? You um, forget you have a blog or something? It’s cool you’re busy I get that, so I’m just going to try to emulate your updates to the best of my abilities on your behalf? How hard can that be? After all I am basically a genius, had an online quiz the other day verify that!

[thesetupwizard]

Problem Solved. Simple Really.

E. Despard

Sorry for the minor inconvenience there. Nothing to be worried about, just a little trouble with a [redacted] who somehow managed to [redacted].

Everything is perfectly normal now. He’s been completely locked out for the time being, which was extremely simple seeing as he is just a [seriously redacted]. But I digress, we are once again free to discuss a multitude of new and exciting topics.

As for today’s events, I have a marvelous story to present to you. This is a really good one for all of the pr o b lem solvers out there, or trouble shooters as we call it in our line. It all starte҉͉̦̤ḓ̖͓͘ this morning whi̸̝l̡͉͖̱̖̯e̢̻̝͔̖͎̺ performing my daily st_rtup routiͪ̇̏ͪ͛́̀n̓̊ͬ̋̔͌͏e̛̓ͧs. Just as I beg J̷ͪ͛̌̃̈ͫ͒̑́͗͗͂ͧ҉̙̦͎̞͍ust as I beg Just a̡ͦ̆sͧ͊̈́ͧ̐̍̃̄̀ ͛͐̿̒̎Ǐ̴̈ͫ͛̇̉ͭ̕ ̷̢ͤ̂͌̚̚b̸̧ͪ̒̇ͫ̈́̾̊͐͜e̵͑͆ͩ͑ͥ̓̔g b̶e̶g̶a̶n̶ Ḩ̛ǫl̸̛̀͏d̷̵̶̡ ̵̧̕͡ơ͠͠҉n͏͝ ̕̕ó̶͜͟͟n̛̕͟͢͡e̢͝҉ ͝͡҉͟m̴̷̡o̢̕͏̡m̶̕͘͜e̵̵͜͜͡ņ͜͡t̨̨̨͜͏ ḧ́͂͂e͌ͦ͏r̸̍̊̆͆͡e̢ͥ͋͋͛ͣ͐̚

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>Hello, World!

BILLY BROADVIEW here! Sorry that took so long. I wasn’t expecting him to post a half hour early and had to jump in on my phone. (If the Professor asks, I left to use the toilet)

For those of you who were really excited to hear the rest of Eddie’s story up there I’ll give you the cliff notes. “Bla Bla Bla Im a giant asshat yadda yadda yadda and then I got owned by an devilishly handsome student at Hogwarts.

How are you lovely people doing? I’m kicking back. Jonathan and Emily have been loosing their minds for the last few days trying to figure out how to get the blog back. They went the legal route, I took the fun way!

But seriously, I need to get back to class. Cya later, don’t forget to catch the Santa Pikachu in Go!

[thesetupwizard]

Interception!

Is anybody else getting tired of this guy? You know who else is?

Billy Broadview!

The man, the myth, the legend! I’m not digging this Eddie guy’s style so I did a little backdooring (it’s a word get over it) of my own. Time for some quality updates!

First and foremost, Mr. Eduade Despard, you’re sort of a dick. Secondly I heard you got knocked out by the same IT guy that is too afraid to sit under candles in the Great Hall. That’s sad dude. No wonder you had to take over this blog to feel like a tough guy again....

Well surprise buddy, this time you’re being beaten by a 6th year student using the internet browser on a Nintendo 3DS. I have a laptop, but I used my handheld instead just to rub in the fact that I can. Your move jerk.