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perpetuelledaydreaming · 2 years ago

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18 | chapter twenty-three

warnings: smut.

listen to: Cherry - Lana del Rey | Or Nah - The Weeknd (playlist here)

Please go look at the playlist, I revamped it all so you can read the chapters with the new songs and also maybe give your guesses of what's coming next given the songs?

word count: 3.1 k

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fi!!

Billy felt stunned for a second, until then he hadn’t admitted to himself how much he missed you, only until he felt like he was melting against your touch he realized how easy it was for him to fall back to you. His hands instinctively found your hips as he quickly moves your body, pinning you to the locker with his body, grabbing your jaw harshly, and kissing you hard.

You grab the back of his neck, trying to pull him even closer to you, wanting to feel him all. You tugged at the curls on the back of his neck, taking advantage of the groan he let out to slip your tongue into his mouth as he pressed himself closer to you.

The heat irradiating from his body is brutal, his kisses burned you, and his touch ignited a fire on your skin, you’d missed the blistering heat of his body, of him. Part of you wanted to keep your eyes open, just to see him naked, with the shiny sheen of sweat under the lights of the changing rooms, even under those he was gorgeous. You can’t though, not by the way he angled your neck so he could press open-mouthed kisses on your throat. You hummed contently as you caressed his naked back, your fingertips brushing over the muscles of his back.

Billy takes a hold of your hips with one hand, pulling you even closer to him as he slotted one of his strong thighs between yours. Thick and strong, you quickly pushed your hips against it, your underwear doing little to avoid the heat coming from his body and to hide how wet you’d become in so little time.

Billy smirked slightly as he felt you, his skin erupting in goosebumps as your hips drag hot and heavy against his thigh, a soft whimper escaping your lungs as you feel the friction against your clit. Billy’s hands quickly travel to your hips, guiding you while you clung to his shoulders so you can feel more pressure on your core.

Perhaps, it was the way that your clit rolled so perfectly against his thigh, and the moan that you let out after that caused Billy to lose it. He didn’t waste time, he knew the boys would be coming quickly but he didn’t want to stop you. Correction, he couldn’t bare to stop you. Not now, not when you’re so willingly letting yourself go for him.

A gasp escaped your lips as soon as Billy curled his hands on your hips harshly and then your ass as he pulled you closer to him, your legs wrapping comfortably around his hips as he carried you to the showers. He settled you on the floor before he turned and closed the shower curtain before returning to you. You’d been erratic before, hell, erratic was part of a normal day with Billy, but the way he was desperately trying to undress you, was new. He tugged your jersey slightly, quickly discarding it on his floor before you were pushing your cheerleader uniform top from your body. A longing sound slipped your lips as Billy began to feverishly kiss your collarbone and neck as he kneaded perfectly your breast under his palms.

“I’ve missed you, so fucking much,” he confessed as his tongue grazes the skin of your stomach while he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You let out a breathy whimper as you gazed down at him, quickly placing your thigh on his shoulder as he kneeled in the shower. Your body was humming, enthralled by the attention he put into every kiss he gave you, how attentive he was to your reaction, how well he’d come to know your body.

One of his hands trails to your thigh as his mouth reaches the waistband of your skirt. His middle finger nudges the white panties you were wearing to the slide and dragged slowly along your core. A shaky breath of relief escaped your lips as you feel him, you close your eyes but you knew he was probably smirking. How easy it was for him to make you this wet, it shouldn’t be fair.

“My girl,” he breathed hard as he dove under your skirt, between your legs. His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking hard while his fingers sunk into you; the sudden stimulation caused you to moan loudly, reaching for his shoulder and the wall as your eyes squeeze tightly. Billy flicked his tongue perfectly, his tongue teasing your folds, while you continued to ride his face as best as you could, your moans getting louder by the second. That tight knot was already building in your lower stomach, Billy could feel your walls clenching against his fingers and tongue, whatever he was using. You were shaking and withering, he knew your body too well and just as you let out a long high-pitch moan, ready for your release, Billy heard some faint footsteps entering the changing room.

He frowned quickly and then gazed back at you, you were too high in your almost orgasm haze to even realize it. Billy quickly grabbed your ass again, pulling you towards him. Your clothes were on the shower floor while you were still wearing your skirt and bra. It didn’t matter, Billy knew he had a change of clothes in his locker, he just hoped you wouldn’t kill him.

Your eyes opened immediately as you felt the warm water falling on the right side of your body. Billy quickly muffled your gasp with his hand over your mouth as he looked back to the curtain shower, carefully listening to the conversation of his peers, nothing out of the ordinary.

“I’ll try to get them to leave,” Billy whispered softly into your ear as he tried to check if he’d left his towel in the shower before the game.

The water washed over his body perfectly while you stared at him. You knew that this was a risk, this was dangerous but the fear of losing him again, the fear of not having him like you wanted, it surpassed anything else. This was dangerous but you couldn’t let it go.

You shook your head as you grab the back of his neck. Billy frowned while you took the hand that was covering your mouth, pecking his knuckles before pulling it down and then climbing into your tiptoes as you leaned into his ear.

“Need to feel you,” you whispered longingly, still breathing heavily from his ministrations.

Billy pulled back with a frown as if you were crazy. He knew you wanted to prove to him that it didn’t matter, that you wanted to be with him no matter what. But doing it in the changing room, with the basketball team less than a foot away. This was dangerous.

“Come on,” you whispered softly again as you pulled Billy’s hand under your skirt again. You shuddered as you felt his thick long fingers touching your core again, you were soaking. “All for you, I trust you,” you moaned quietly against Billy’s ear, you could feel the hold he had on your hip tightening as he heard you.

Billy’s eyes darkened as you pulled away and leaned against the cool tile, your body shivering at the feeling and the coolness you were feeling of the water on your skin while you waited for Billy’s decision. He didn’t falter as he quickly sandwiched your body against the wall and his hot body while you were now soaking wet because of the water. There wasn’t any time to waste.

Billy quickly hoisted you up, guiding your legs around his waist when he felt the guys getting closer. His ankles were now the only visible ones under the bottom of the shower curtain, sure your clothes were on the floor but they could think it was a towel.

Billy pressed your back to the wall, groaning softly as dragged his cock over your folds. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he let out a soft groan, biting his lower lip as he felt you. Billy pushed the tip inside of you tentatively, he didn’t have a condom and his questioning gaze let you know what he was asking.

“Yes, please fuck,” you managed to whisper before he slowly sank into you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, his forehead against yours as he’s pushing himself into you. You both gasp softly, lips inches apart as you adjust to the hot, thick stretch of him. You grabbed the back of his neck and kiss him hard, your tongue spreading past his lips as your nails bit the skin of his shoulder when you felt him starting to move.

Billy cradled you against him as he began to fuck into you. His tongue caressed yours as he held you close, purposefully making his thrusts as hard and purposeful, trying to avoid the sound of skin slapping so that the other guys in the room can’t hear what you were doing.

And also, just to make a point. He can’t really take his eyes off of you and in turn, he can’t help to think the way he does. That way, the way he fucks into you, rocking his hips harshly and lovingly at the same time, he’s the only one who can fuck you like this. He knows it. You know it. He’s the only one you beg to fuck you raw.

Your lips part, eyebrows scrunched, breathing out delicious moans that are covered by Billy’s hand as he fucks you. He loves it, he loves you and now he knows that you love him too. Billy’s grunts become a bit too loud, soon you are forced to cover his mouth too as his cock fills you over and over, his lips dragging across your throat, palms pressed firmly over each other's mouth. It’s intoxicating the way he moves, but you're getting desperate. It’s so slow, you can’t take it. You begin to move your hips, rolling them, yearning for more friction. Billy’s lips part subconsciously as he looked down and watches himself rocking in and out of you, just by the movement of your lips. He grabs tighter at your hips.

“Billy, you’re here?” Billy suddenly stopped, and you too as you watch each other in silence. Billy swallowed hard and then cleared his throat.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“What’s our hero of the day doing all alone,” Tommy stated annoyingly from the lockers. “Come on, we got to go to the party,”

Billy moves slightly as his brain fumbles trying to form an answer but by doing so you feel him going deeper inside of you. You moaned against his mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt your walls clenching around him.

“I’m coming,” Billy muttered and your lips quirked up slightly.

Denying a fucking orgasm was one thing. But being denied two orgasms? No. You quickly took a sharper hold of Billy’s shoulders; you started to move your hips, rolling them just perfectly, finding a slow pace that couldn’t be heard over the sound of the shower.

“Hargrove, come on,” another one said. “Or we will have to get you out of the shower,”

Your eyes widened at the thought but Billy shoots you a look, shaking his head he kisses your temple, now accompanying you on the plan for a slow tempo. He cleared his throat once again, fighting himself not to groan, not to slip as he fucks you. “If anyone dares to take me out of this shower, I’ll fucking rip your arms out, okay?” he growled, partly because he would actually kill anyone who dared to open that shower curtain and partly because of the way your walls clenched around him.

You could hear how the lockers began to close and the faint steps of footsteps towards the door while you smiled at Billy. It was game on after it. Your fingers curled around the curls of his hair as he watches you, desperate for him, blushy cheeks and all as you look at his ocean-blue eyes. It’s perfect, the force of his thrusts, the way he filled you impossibly deep as he fucks into you. Grunting harshly, he squeezed your body tighter against him. You can only manage to squeeze your eyes shut, crying out his name desperately as he slaps his hand over your mouth again, afraid that one guy might come back and hear you.

“Doing so good,” Billy grunted harshly as you cry out again, his lips attacking your neck haphazardly as his hips begin to stutter. He can feel you tensing under him, the way you’re probably dragging blood from his shoulder. “You’re mine and I’m all yours, yeah?”

His pace is furious, enough for you to simply nod dumbly at his affirmations but the fact that you’re so close that your head is dizzy doesn’t make it any less honest. He’s yours, he’s yours, and your his; everything in the past few weeks was a mistake, nothing more. Billy felt the same, there’s no one like you, he’ll love you forever he decided.

“Mine,” he punctuates with a harsh thrust and before you know it, you’re coming undone. Your vision goes blistering white as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body trembles as Billy fucks you through your hide, your breathless, head spinning, over-stimulated as you feel his thrust begin to falter, growing sloppier. Billy pants out as he gives a couple of final thrusts before taking your jaw harshly and kissing you with all the passion he’d held close over the past few weeks.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, walls fluttering around him as he spills into you. He moaned against your mouth while you cry out for him as you feel him. Billy’s heart thudded loudly on his chest as he tried to catch his breath, pressing lazy and purposeful kisses to your face as you try to recover from your orgasm. You exhale hard, resting your forehead against his broad shoulder while caressing his messed-up skin.

“I’ve missed you,” you said softly as your brain recovers from the most earth-shattering orgasm you’d ever had.

Billy smiles. “I’ve missed you too,”

By the time you’re done, there’s barely anyone at the school, only Billy’s car in the school's parking lot. Holding hands, you walked out of the school as an official couple. Fear no longer controls you as you realize how it could look for anyone that might’ve found you. Rosy cheeks, Billy’s leather jacket covering your body, soaking skirt while Billy’s only wearing his shirt haphazardly, his curls damped as he opened the door for you and then climbed into the Camaro.

The ride to your place is soft, his hand on your thigh, your cheeks hurting by how much you were smiling, your body pleasurably aching. Each time there was a stop sign, Billy leaned down and kissed your cheek while you grinned, pulling you tight against his warm, bare chest.

For Billy, you looked beautiful, the light of the moon falling just right on your face, illuminating your skin, goosebumps erupting from your skin by the way he touched you, and the coolness. His heart thudded hard in his chest as he realized how lucky he was. The feeling was the same as the one he’d felt when he laid on his surfboard on the sea when he was young, the calmness of it all, the warmth on his skin, everything he felt with you. He didn’t sing that night, you were the one singing softly to Can’t help Falling in love as it played on the radio.

He watched you, amusement toying on his lips as you sang absentmindedly, you had a good voice. He watched you softly, holding you together. Could he tell you now that he loved you? Was it too soon to tell you that he wanted to spend the rest of his life holding you like this? He hummed softly to the radio until you reached your place.

Billy parked in front of your place. Craig was arriving tomorrow from a business trip, there was lights were on in the house but you assumed it was Emily. You sighed as he offered you his hand and helped you get down, he leaned on his car as he watched you cover yourself slightly when you raised your gaze you realize the way he was looking at you.

Was he going to say it right now?

“What’s up with that face?” you asked him with a smile as you walked up to him, leaning against his chest as you played with the hem of his shirt.

“I’m just happy,” Billy answered shrugging his shoulders while he played with a strand of your hair before taking your face with his hand, his thumb caressing your cheek and then pressing a kiss on your lips.

He was so delicate with you, you felt your chest twisting at the idea of losing him again. “Can we promise not to talk again about what happened?”

Billy’s lips let out a sigh as he recalled how awful he felt over the past few weeks, how much it ache to live in a world when you weren’t with him. “There’s nothing more than I would like, sweetheart,”

You smiled as you raised to your tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his lips. Then, he made a face, it was barely there but you didn’t miss it. You frowned. “Wait, you hooked up with Tina?”

Billy winced slightly at the question, he breathed out. Honesty was a part of any good relationship, if you were done being a secret, he was all in. “She gave me a blowjob,” he confessed quietly.

You sighed, annoyed at the fact but you couldn’t really blame him. You weren’t together at that point. “For the sake of our relationship, I won’t say anything but I’ll kick you in the balls when you least expect it,”

Billy let out a laugh, making your heart lurch on your chest as you caressed his face, brushing off the golden curls that fell on his face.

“Fine,” he muttered before he leaned down, wrapping his arms around your torso and pulling you against him. You hummed contently against his lips while he deepened the kiss.

Billy watched you walk to the door, staying outside until you were in safely before he drives off. You entered the house, not paying much attention to your surroundings like you usually did. It wasn’t your fault really, Craig had assured you that he would be home the next day, not before. Still, you should’ve known something was off when you arrived but it was too late now.

You sighed contently as you closed the door but then you heard the loud steps and his voice. “What the fuck were you doing with that boy?”

***

author's note: hope you're ready for the angsty angst. thank you for reading!!

***

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 2 years ago

Text

18| chapter twenty-four

listen to: Take me to church - Hozier | From Eden - Hozier | Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls (playlist here)

Please go look at the playlist, I revamped it all so you can read the chapters with the new songs and also maybe give your guesses of what's coming next given the songs?

word count: 2.4k

warnings: domestic violence. hurt.

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fi!!

Billy Hargrove had always known that love wasn’t for him.

And then you came along.

How you’d managed to rotate the axis of his world? He had no idea. But for the first time in his entire life, the perception of love wasn’t tainted, it wasn’t associated with damage, scream, and people leaving him behind. Instead, love now meant your kisses, your laughter, your smile.

After leaving you home from the game, Billy didn’t go to the party. Instead, he drove home straight away, putting himself to use. He quickly took out a cassette and began to make you a mixtape. It wasn’t anything fancy, but he knew he wanted to give it to you first thing in the morning before finally being able to kiss you in front of everyone at school.

Billy Hargrove wasn’t hollow and broken no more.

At least, until he reached your locker the following day. His tongue edged out to wet his lips as he walked to your locker, cassette in hand and even a small bouquet he managed to get. He tried to compose himself, his heart was thudding a hundred miles per minute as he tried to think what he would say next, how you would react to him.

But as he reached your locker, to see it empty his entire demeanor dropped. He frowned slightly, you could be a little late but you usually aren’t, not even when you were fighting you seemed like you couldn’t distract yourself from classes, you needed to maintain your GPA. Something’s wrong, he can feel it in his bones.

Billy walked out of the school as fast as he possibly could, his eyes scanning the hallways and soon the classes trying to locate you. There isn’t any sign of you. His heart thuds a beat harder with each classroom that you aren’t in he checked as he returned to school, and soon he finds himself in the parking lot.

Your bike is not there and the bell is already ringing on the back. Billy stayed still for a few seconds, his mind going miles per hour as he guessed what reason you had to not come to school. Had you regretted what happened the night before? No, you couldn’t. You were so happy with him, he knew that you were, and he could feel it. Had you become sick all of the sudden? No, he would’ve seen it in your face yesterday, you were anything but sick. Had your stepfather made you go back to Chicago? That was a long shot.

The parking lot was already empty by the time Billy decided that he would go to your place. The place looked the same as it did yesterday but as Billy arrived, he could see a brown jeep getting out of your place. He frowned slightly, he recalled that you’d told him that your step-father would be out of town.

Billy began to feel sick.

He parked a few meters away from your house, something in his gut telling him to do it. Billy’s mind often went to a dark place some days, each time he saw a boy with a bruise, and a girl crying in the counselor's office. He often wondered if they’d found themselves in the same position he was in.

He wished so badly he was wrong.

The door to your place opened after a few knocks. Emily opened the door, her eyes widened at the sight of Billy and closed the door a little as she realized who she had stood in front of the door.

“Hey,” he said. Billy had spent days with you and her in the house, she was a little meek but as Billy took her in right now, he could see in her eyes the way she was somehow standing up for him. “Emily,”

“Billy,” she answered back, closing the door a little bit more.

Billy’s eyes furrowed slightly as he leaned against the frame of the door, trying to seem aloof. “I was wondering if your sister was okay?”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Yeah, uhm, yeah,” she said as she looked down for a moment and then back at him. “She’s okay. She got a little sick and she decided to skip school,”

“She’s alright?”

She nodded. “She’ll be okay in no time. She’ll call you later,” Emily answered as she started to close the door.

Billy’s hand flew to the edge of the door, stopping her. Emily frowned immediately, she seemed meek and small but her eyes were daggers as she glared at Billy. “Wait, I can’t see her?”

“No, she’s,” Emily hesitated as she looked back for a moment. Billy frowned. “asleep,”

It only made him more uneasy, the way she was avoiding looking him in the eye, the way she looked back.

“And you’re skipping school so you can take care of her?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged.

Billy took a deep breath. If you allowed your sister to skip school, Billy knew that you weren’t okay. All the times you’d talked about how much your sister meant to you, how important it was for you to allow her to have the best childhood so she wouldn’t turn like you. He gazed at the little girl in front of him and closed his eyes for a second.

“Emily, I’m going to see your sister today,” Billy said calmly. “I can do it climbing through the window or through this door. You can decide,”

Emily’s eyes widened slightly but she quickly glared at him, straightened up, and was ready to fight Billy if she needed to. She was very protective, you’d always known that, as much as you took care of her, she also took care of you. You’d been listening to the conversation, hoping a call later that day would explain you’d the flu or something so Billy couldn’t come near you.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him. You just didn’t want him to see you like that, and yet he’d come to your place, skipping school together just for you.

You sighed.

“Emily,” you called for her from your room. Billy’s and Emily’s heads snapped towards the second floor of the house, Billy felt a little bit easier, hearing you. “You can let him in,”

Emily bit her inner cheek as she glanced at Billy, who was still anxiously looking up the stairs. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” you breathed out.

Emily didn’t have to be told twice. She opened the door for Billy who immediately bolted to your room, his heart thudding in his chest harder in a matter of seconds. Something tugging at his chest as he climbed the stairs and then reached your room. He stops suddenly, before he even touches the door handle, taking a deep breath he prepared for the worst-case scenario.

It was even worse when he opened the door.

You sat uncomfortably on your bed, a little light-headed, still feeling hazy from the lack of sleep you’d had. Although Emily had insisted you had to shower around two a.m. and the blood from your body had been clean, the scrapes on your face and torso had become irritated by the shower, causing you to wince each time you tried to accommodate yourself between the pillows. You wanted to say it was new, that the busted lip, the cut over your cheekbone, the swollen eye, the bruises on your neck, the scrapes and bruises that littered your body; all new.

It wasn’t.

You knew that each time it happened, you’d take a day off or two, just to make sure no one saw the bruises, not even teachers so Craig wouldn’t become liable for anything. Emily could skip school only if the injuries inflicted on your body had become so bad that you would have to rest a day. Craig wouldn’t talk to you until the bruises hadn’t faded just enough for him to look at you again unless you made something to make him mad again.

You had the routine down and yet there was a new factor in your life: Billy Hargrove.

The same Billy Hargrove that opened the door softly, the same one that just realized that he blocked out every beating that Neil gave him. That he had managed to survive by forgetting the traumatic beatings he received but that it was all a lie because as his eyes examined your body under that flimsy oversize shirt and your face, he could feel every single second in his bones as he watched you.

He was scared, you could see it in his eyes. He didn’t seem like he wanted to walk near you at first. As if he was too worried he might break you. He took a deep breath before walking slowly towards you, he sat on the edge of the bed slowly, and with shaky hands his fingerpads trailed your skin, stopping methodically at each and every one of the visible bruises that you had on your skin. His eyes watered before he even knew it as he touched you lightly, to finish in your face, trailing your lips and the cut above your cheek.

You waited for him to scream at you about what had happened if you had fallen from the bike. You had the story ready for him and yet you could see it in his eyes, there was something there that you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“I’m going to kill him,” Billy whispered as he gazed at you and then stood from the bed without a second thought.

Your hands moved to catch him as fast as you possibly could, even through the pain, you managed to get a hold of his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“Billy, stop, stop,” you pleaded.

Billy glances back at you, the rage in his chest growing faster by the second. He knew what it meant to love someone that was treated this way, the frustration, the pain in his chest, the helplessness when his father close the door of their room so he could hit her without Billy interrupting. He was older now, he could defend you, he would kill him if he needed to, he just wanted to stop your suffering. He didn’t know how you hid it so well from him, it dawned on him at that moment where your scars came from, those he had learned by heart when you were naked for him, those he had kissed softly. He knew he surprised you, knowing immediately what had happened. It doesn’t make him feel any better, he should’ve known. He can’t stop his eyes from streaming as he realized that he should’ve protected you since the day he met you.

“I’ll be back,” he affirmed once more, moving as delicately as he could so he could lose your hold. You move in a hurry, without thinking as he reached the door and opened it.

“Billy, I- ow!” you screamed, you don’t feel the sharp pain until you stood up, quickly bending as you hold your torso with both of your hands.

Billy turned around, quickly scooping you in his arms. “Are you okay?” he asked as he holds you in his arms, your eyes are still closed as you try to keep the pain at bay while he lays you again. “Are you okay?” he repeated.

You nodded softly, he could tell that you were lying. He quickly climbed to the bed without a second thought, pulling you towards him. He doesn’t really know if it’s going to make it better but he recalled that his mother simply liked him to be there after it happened.

When you opened your eyes, tears threatening to spill, you realize that Billy’s still crying as he looked at you, concern creasing his features still.

“You’re so strong,” Billy whispered. “I, I want to take you to a doctor,” he insisted.

You shake your head as you pull him closer to you. “I just want you to be here,” you said softly, your head tilting up and your eyes meet properly to those ocean-blue eyes. Both of you crying as you gazed back at the other, you press your lips against his gently. “Can you stay with me?”

Billy lets his forehead rest against yours, a shaky breath leaving his body.

“Always,”

***

author's note: love you love you all that keep reading.

***

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