#bill is so fucking gay its uncanny

[spidereye-village]

Ok OK Hear me out here.

So The Great Gatsby is referanced in bill's book right?

And there is clearly some toxic relationship dynamic between Ford and Bill.

But that is only emphasized by the fact that

THE GREAT GATSBY IS BASICLY A CLOSETED 1920S MAN FALLING IN AN UNREQUITED LOVE WITH ANOTHER

The WHOLE book both Gatsby and Nick are clearly pining for people who can't be with them. (Nick for Gatsby and Gatsby for Daisy)

What if Bill sees himself in either Gatsby or Nick in that same sense???

Now I haven't read Bill's book, so I could be way off. But just. Think about that.

Anon Chad (they/them) 😎

[slapjacq]

big ol spoiler warning for an almost eight year old podcast that people who have not caught up on due to what ever reason. I was in y’all’s shoes for like two weeks so I’m not gonna spoil this ending for ya’ll like it kind of happened for me. also caps lock for a majority of this because I finished this show now 30 minutes ago so unless you want to hear the ramblings of a mad man just keep scrolling I just gotta put this shit somewhere.

just the image of Martin and Jon holding each other as it all comes crashing down is now burned into my brain forever and the worst part is that MY BRAIN WAS THE ONE THAT CREATED SAID IMAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT THE FUCK THE UNHOLY CHANT THAT I FOREVER SPEAK UPON THE WRONGED IS THAT THEY DESERVED BETTER IDC IF ITS ALL THEIR FAULT AHBHHHJDNAKSKSBSB

THIS IS SOME OLD TESTAMENT SHIT

A FUCKING TRAGEDY OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS

I CANT ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT I WENT INTO THIS THINKING “OH SPOOKY UNCANNY COSMICESQUE HORROR” OR “GAY PEOPLE MY FAVORITE” BECAUSE I GOT MORE THAN WHAT THE BILL SAID ID HAVE AHHHHHHHHH

OH CHRIST oW My fUCKing hEART

FIRST IM CATCHING STRAYS FROM WHAG FEELS LIKE PERSONAL ATTACKS IN THE FORM OF FOURTH WALL BREAK HORROR POEM THAT LAST AN ENTIRE SEASON AND NOW THE CLICHE THAT WRENCHES MY HEART EVERY TIME IS THE THING THAT ENDS UP ENDING THE SERIES???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? I NEED TO SLEEP TONIGHT AND NOW I HAVE TO LISTEN TO ENTIRETY OF PROTOCOL BECAUSE IF I DONT I MIGHT IMPLODE INTO A FUCKING PILLAR OF SALT AND ASH

also thank god I didn’t listen to this until protocol s1 like pretty much was almost over because I frankly would not have know what to do with myself if I had to wait almost THREE YEARS for something else oh Christ

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

IT Chapter Two

I wish I had been writing reviews in 2017 when the first IT came out, because it was one of my favorite films of that year and by far one of the best Stephen King adaptations I’ve ever seen. As a lifelong fan - I was reading The Shining in fourth grade while my peers were still hanging with the Boxcar Children - I know it’s not easy to capture King’s imaginings on film. On the surface, IT is the story of a group of childhood friends battling an evil shapeshifter that often takes the form of a clown. That’s cinematic as shit! But it’s ALSO a deep dive into the 400-year-long history of the town of Derry and the big showdown is a psychic battle of wills taking place everywhere and nowhere in the cosmos. There’s also a preteen orgy. You take the good with the weird with Mr. King is what I’m saying, and not all of that (good OR weird) is translatable to the screen, so I was quite curious how IT Chapter Two would stack up against its charming and thematically rich predecessor. The Losers’ Club is all grown up and back in town to face off against Pennywise 27 years after their last encounter with It, and this time they aim to finish the job. Can their attempts to defeat the demons of their childhood possibly be as interesting as seeing those childhoods play out so successfully on screen 2 years ago? Well...

I wish I could say yes. IT Chapter Two has a lot of strengths, its casting chief among them, but ultimately it suffers from a number of modern cinematic choices that didn’t seem to touch part one with its 1989 nostalgia quite so glaringly. 

Some thoughts:

There 100% needs to be an Academy Award category for Best Casting because Rich Delia has earned it 100 times over. Each of the adults are perfect counterparts to their childhood selves, but it’s downright eerie how good adult Eddie (James Ransone) and Richie (the incomparable Bill Hader) are. They walk away with every scene they’re in. 

On a side note, I’m wholeheartedly convinced Bill Hader is our generation’s Jimmy Stewart. There’s nothing he can’t do, and between this and his tour-de-force performance in HBO’s Barry, I am more and more impressed with him with each passing year. 

Much to-do has been made about Hader’s character and some implications about his love life that aren’t included in the novel. Personally, I feel like the changes make sense for the character and for the way that relationship is treated both in the novel and in the films. And much like Beverly’s terrifying and complicated relationship with her abusive father, the film doesn’t shy away from showing us through Richie’s story that the most terrifying things in Derry are the things humans do to each other (and themselves) in the name of fear and hate. 

With an almost 3-hour running time, you would expect the film to feel overstuffed, but I found the opposite problem to be true. It feels like not much is happening for long stretches, or perhaps it’s the problem of knowing that we have to get a flashback scare and a present-day scare for each of the returning Losers - either way, it all starts to feel a little by-the-numbers. 

A spoiler/content warning for those who are sensitive to such things: as in the book, the big inciting event of It’s return to terrorize Derry 27 years after It’s battle with the Losers is a horrifying and graphically violent anti-gay hate crime. I found this to be even more horrifying than in the 1986 novel simply because it’s now 2019 and this still felt like a plausible and unsurprising attack. 

I thought it was a truly excellent touch that Myra, Eddie’s wife, is played by the same actress who played his mother (Molly Atkinson). A+, guys. That made me laugh out loud.

Same with the detail of Stan (Andy Bean) and his bird puzzle. I still think a giant bird would have been way more terrifying than some of the CGI creatures the movies dreamed up.

Another note on pacing - it felt like we really blazed through each of our introductions to the grown-up Losers in favor of moving things along quickly to get them all together again (smart) but also to get them back in Derry so they can get to the “main event” and each have their one-on-one scares with Pennywise (less smart). Both of these films are most winning when they focus on the humans that Pennywise is terrorizing. I wish we’d had more time to get to know our grown-ups before the rest of their screentime was devoted to running and screaming and being covered in all kinds of muck.

On a related note, the scenes that are really allowed to linger and creep along - I’m thinking of a small, memorable sequence with a little girl who encounters Pennywise under some bleachers - are by far the best. I really wish the extended scene with Mrs. Kersh hadn’t served as the first trailer for the film, because I think its unsettling creepiness is the closest the film gets to the big scares of the book and I just wish there had been more of that, less of CGI creatures running around gibbering.

There is a real magic in the chemistry The Losers have together, and those scenes are the other main highlights. The Chinese restaurant scene is a real standout and maintains the sudden, creeping dread of the same scene in the novel. But even with that magic, the adults camaraderie pales in comparison to the kids’ when they’re all together. It’s really a shame they decided to split the films up chronologically because the scenes with the kid Losers are just more interesting and more emotionally resonant in every way. 

Didn’t love the de-aging CGI they had to do on the kids’ faces though. And the ADR did something strange to their voices. In some scenes it wasn’t so bad, but particularly in the clubhouse scenes, there’s some uncanny valley effect going on.

Y’know, for Silver being so important to Bill, he sure does clank it to the ground every fucking time he dismounts like Silver ain’t shit.

There’s a fun, and fairly extended Stephen King cameo that I enjoyed very much.

Did I Cry? Yes, for Stan and for Eddie and for Richie and for all the Losers at the end as they process all the events that came before. 

Frankly, my biggest complaint is an overall feeling that Gary Dauberman’s script is overwritten, too quippy, too punched up. There’s a big scary encounter that gets completely undercut by “Angel of the Morning” blaring for 3 seconds, then cutting out. Why was that there? There’s no radio in the scene that gets knocked over or something, it’s a completely artistic choice that robs the scene of any tension or fear for the sake of a cheap (not even that good) laugh. Same with a quip from Eddie about a character’s haircut after an intense act of violence has occurred - the line isn’t even an Eddie line, it’s a Richie line, and it all leads to a feeling like these are characters acting out a script. That’s never what I want a movie to feel like, especially not one where suspension of disbelief is so vital to selling the audience some pretty weird stuff.

There are two dogs - one scary and one Very Good Very Not Scary dog at the end :)

In many ways, the scares here just aren’t really that scary and end up reminding me of better films. Stan’s spidery head is a clear homage to The Thing, the underground cavern feels very much like Alien, Bev’s encounter with the blood feels reminiscent of both Carrie and The Shining - it all adds up to a feeling that, like Pennywise, the film is just a mimic trying to capitalize on easy, surface-level scares. I wanted to love this more, but somehow there just didn’t seem to be much heart in it. Maybe they’ll try again in 27 years and get it absolutely right.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[captainshyguy]

god so....me nd jester finished gravity falls and....GOD 

i have sos oso much to say about it, (under the cut tho ofc) 

but like....tl;dr.....that was easily the best show i’ve ever watched, and one of the best narrative’s i’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing 

oof ok so i’ll start small

the animation in general, ESPECIALLY the scenery was rly nice

god the theme like not the theme SONG (though that will get its own bullet point)but like??the theme of the show??? the mystery feel mixed with modern stuff, and still being REALLY DARK AND HAVING GENUINE HORROR whilst still managing to be a kids show is wild 

like!!! they didnt pull any punches!!! they didnt treat kids like dumbasses that would get the show!! it complex and intelligent and engaging!!!! 

ok so the THEME SONG ok GOD I LOVED IT BUT....turns out bc me and jester were using dailymotion well.....uhhh 90% of the gravity falls eps on there are sped up?? (like 1:25x speed) i NEVER NOTICED i jsut thought all the eps were around 18-19 mins??? turns out thery’re actually 22, so we’ve been watching at a slightly faster pace??? we watched ONE at a slower pace and i was like ‘WHAT’ but like!! that slower pace wasthe reAL SPEED NKHDFHNJHJF its...v strange tbh bc i’ll probably rewatch them on kimcarttons bc thats’ more reliable and all in the right palce but....idk i kinda prefer the slightly sped up version??? its enough that al lthe characters still seem rly natural they didnt...seem liek they were sped up but they WERE but it means the natural ones now seem slower to me nkjkdhjfkd, either way watch the theme song on 1.25x on youtube and you’ll see my experience its....rly good 

BUT GOD IT WAS WRITTEN SO FUCKNG WELL THERE WAS NO LOOSE ENDS I DONT THINK????? IT JUST!!! EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD ND SATISFYING 

god the FORESHADOWING ABT STUFF like!!!!! the 6 fingers ALL THE BILL IMAGERY LIKE god i kNEW abt bill cipher so everytime i saw a triangle i lost my mind, just went absolutely hogwild on the keyboard 

GOD OKAY SO FAVE CHARACTERS UHHH bills my bastard fave and i’ll get to him later SO 

dIPPER ok just!!! a kid who was rly into mysteries nd nerding things and reading BIG FUCKNIG MOOD alos befire he showed like..any interest in girls nd was eye rolling at mabel talking at boys i was like ‘oh!!! aro ace!!!’ then the wendy stuff happened and i went ‘welp, i made my bed, time to lie in it’ and i SMASHED the compulsory heterosexuality button KHDFHNDFJ oh yeah he’s trans bc hell yea 

STAN I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH LIKE he’s super fucking funny and like!!!! he cares SO SO MCUH abt mabel and dipper nd his bro!!!! he cares nd loves for them wholst still being that cool, chaotic, not exactly law abiding grunkle and!!! he literally learned how to work his bros machine nd tried to 30 years just to get him back AAAAAAAAAA and GOD BEING WILLING TO SACRIFICE HIS OWN MEMORIES TO SAVE EVERYONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA o he’s also trans bc ye!!!

bill cipher...bastard fave like...god i’ve said this before but!!!!! idc abt villains most of the time but HE FITS INTO MY DIMENTIO NICHE (slightly uncanny, theatrical/charismatic, MAJOR FUCKING THREATS) there’s defo!!! differences between them tho, like bill cipher actually has friends lmao, they wanted to...remake the universe/multiverse in different ways (dimentio by erasing everyone from existence and rebuilding it himself, bill by just fucking up everything that’s already there) plus dimentio played the long game on screen more ig????? like we always knew bill was bad, it’s made obvious, maybe not main antagonist, but bad, but spm makes u think dimentio MIGHT be on ur side, or at least wont betray the count to be the true villain??? either way tho i was talking to jester abt this, but when i blackmail nintendo into letting me make an aniamted spm series in 20 years im gonna have some fun doing similar foreshadowing stuff with dimentio that gravity falls did with bill GDFHJHDJF (nd just!! letting him be animated in general bc dimentios already cool, can you IMAGINE HIM with animated with lotsa life nd fluidity like bill?? wild) 

but yeah tldr bill bastard but...COOL BASTARD 

the canon gay police guys were rly sweet!! hel yea!!!

i....the only thing i didnt like was them keeping robbie and tambry together LIKE THEY DIDNT CONSNT TO THAT WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS A LOVE POTION AND EVERYONE ACTED LIKE IT WAS OKAY THATS NOT PLAYING MATCHAMKER WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS FORCED LOVE WHAT THE SHIT 

i just!! god i rly loved it it was such a good story and it was the perfect length, you could TELL the creator went ‘this is going to be as long at the story needs it to be, im not stretching it out and making it stale/having the quality dip like’ it was  pefect nd we all want more bc we loved it but!!! it also ended in such a satisfying way that i couldnt imagine it coming back without being worried the quality would dip so im satisfied but OOF

fuck...i lvo it so much i LOVE IT I NEED TO FOLLOW SOME GRAVITY FALLS BLOGS IMMEDIATELY 

uhhhh lgbt hcs with the main 6 bc im gay and i do what i want (remember i’ve already smashed the comphet button so dont come at me like ‘uhh but she dated a guy’ bullshit):

wendy: trans nd gay 

mabel: bi 

dipper:trans and aro ace 

stan: trans and bi 

ford: gay 

soos: hmmm......not...sure....he gave me ace vibes....het/bi ace???

[brittlebutch]

1/2 I have just finished your absolutely AMAZING Bill and Ted fic and I am just. Honestly beyond smitten by everything. Not only did you get the characters down so fucking well that it's uncanny but you also capture that weird sort of warieness of being queer in a world that is not always kind to you so well, that sort of "Its awful and horrible but I have been here so long I don't even fall into despair anymore about it" heartwrenching bullshit

2/2 Also my gay little heart exploded with his because for one second thought it was gonna end on an even more bittersweet note but then it DIDN'T AND THANK YOU FOR THAT)

DUDE!! thank you so much!!! i’m really glad you liked the fic, especially enough to send this message about it omg it’s so sweet!! with the first draft of it, i was actually going to leave everything on a like, much vaguer note? just like, the hug and silence, an almost-mutual ‘it’s just safer if we don’t talk about it right? if we never say it out loud?’ kind of thing. but then it just made me kind of sad myself lmao, so i tossed that out and cemented things a little better!!! (also thanks so much for the characterization note!!!! i appreciate it so much!) 

[nofomoartworld]

Art F City: We Went to Gabriel Orozco’s OXXO

Gabriel Orozco Kurimanzutto Gob. Rafael Rebollar 94, Col. San Miguel Chapultepec 11850, México D.F. On view until March 16th

What’s on view: An exact replica of an OXXO (the ubiquitous Mexican 7-11 competitor) except without monetary exchange. Visitors are instructed to pick out three free objects, so long as they aren’t marked with the artist’s own sticker (because those products are artworks for collectors, despite being otherwise identical to the other goods in the store).

Whitney:  Through the wooden barrier which separates the gallery from the street, past the door guard and the gallerists, we entered into a minimalist shi-shi open air courtyard, and then through the sliding doors of an OXXO, which seemed normal because OXXOs are everywhere. Ryan and I turned around to go find some art upstairs. But Michael, being the seasoned critic, knew. It’s not a real OXXO. It’s commentary.

Michael: I honestly can’t think of another artwork that straddles a weird indoor/outdoor space to such uncanny effect. I had heard a lot about this show and thought I knew what to expect, but I too was caught off guard. Whitney, you and I have seen more than our fair share of fake-businesses-as-artworks, from visiting a seedy massage parlor in the Lower East Side to helping run AFC’s pop-up gay bar in Miami Beach. I’m sure we’ve been to many a fake business at art fairs we don’t even remember. But there will be no forgetting this day. Gabriel Orozco has elevated the fake-business-as-medium to the next level in so many ways.   

Whitney: This triggered a Supermarket Sweep fantasy I didn’t realize I have been actively repressing every time I go shopping. You’re allowed to take three items (as long as they don’t have stickers on them, but not many do), so immediately all of us starting weighing the best combinations.

I went for the cookies first, but then it turned out there was beer, and that we weren’t allowed to drink beer in the courtyard without cups, so that knocked out two of my items, and then I got distracted by the gum at the checkout counter, so there went the cookies. After we’d checked out, I think we all got buyer’s remorse. Michael probably should’ve gotten water for his house. I remembered condoms and toothpaste, but luckily those had stickers.

Now I’m hungry for cookies and debating running to the actual OXXO across the street while Michael writes his response.

The bags of dog food with the circle motif are not available—they’re art. The unmarked cans of dog food are free, however.

Michael: One of the most impressive things this piece accomplished: it made us consider the act of shopping differently than any of its myriad artistic predecessors. I’m literally in an OXXO at least once every day (it’s where most Defeños do everything from paying utility bills and refilling drinking water jugs to buying cigarettes and Doritos) but with the aspect of monetary value removed, yet another set of limitations imposed, an almost-mania set in as we tried to adjust to a new value system.

Ultimately, I settled on a beer and two Kinder Sorpresa chocolate eggs. I figured I could have a snack, and still get an “object” as a souvenir. I grabbed two of the “niña” chocolates (even candy is gendered?) because Molly Rhinestones introduced me to the fact that the girls’ toys are usually little glamorous figurines that look like white versions of RuPaul. When I opened my eggs, however, they contained art supplies. “Art supplies” in the old-school sense—one came with a watercolor set in the shape of a frog and the other held colored pencils in the shape of a teddy bear. It felt like the most meta end to this Russian-doll of a game. I like to think Orozco rigged this detail somehow—and in his OXXO, all children’s candy prizes contain gender neutral art stuff that could theoretically yield a traditional “art object”.

Whitney: I think your sense of wonder shows what immediately sets this apart from a zillion other art-as-commerce shows. A convenience store populated entirely with art viewers with Canon cameras and little backpacks doesn’t sound so exciting now that we’re officially past the relational aesthetics wow factor.

But what sets this apart from so many Creative Time commissions, art fair projects, and pop-up gallery-stores is that it’s not a fake store where you can’t get anything, or a fake-real store where you have to buy art, or a real store where you have to “perform” capitalism, or a store manned by the unpaid intern, or a store that provides fake jobs for a month. It’s that this is sponsored by OXXO, and you can get the stuff you want, rather than playing an in-the-know game that doesn’t meaningfully relate to commerce anywhere outside the art gallery. This is a real OXXO store.

It makes me think a lot more about what I consume, for one. (I now have cookies from OXXO). But it’s also not a smirky reveal.

Michael: Exiting the “store” from the opposite door, we found ourselves in an unsettlingly conventional gallery environment. I honestly wouldn’t have lingered among these color-coordinated products—devoid of any implied interaction—if it weren’t for the super-enthusiastic, frank, and helpful gallery attendant who gave us the backstory.

Whitney: This person told us that OXXO’s parent company Femsa is treating the show as a promotional opportunity, so it’s provided the workers, the shelving, the fridges, and all of the products. The stark difference in environments, from the colorful store for regular people to a fluorescent Stanley Kubrick vacuum for elevated people, highlighted how art caters to an entirely different set of consumers, which I think is why art-store projects usually don’t work, because in the end they’re not really for us.

Michael: But I am more interested in the economics of the gallery’s products than the giveaway nextdoor. Orozco has calculated a pricing scheme wherein the first edition of the series (his own artist’s proof) is valued at $30,000 (USD). The next collector to buy a set of these art-stamped OXXO products pays half—$15,000. The next collector pays half of that, and so on and so forth until the last edition only costs $60. The price drops the more “demand” there is for the product (opposite the logic of rarified art objects). It’s an economy of scale, not unlike Tesla’s ambitions to engineer accessible electric cars from the luxury market on down, or the fact that mass-produced shit costs so little because it’s mass-consumed (and, of course, exploitative labor, etc.)

Orozco’s relationship to the market (both high and low) is a smart one. He seems to be playing everyone by just blatantly playing by capitalism’s own rules. There’s not necessarily a critique here that’s so explicit a multinational corporate sponsor would be scared off, but he shines a light on the absurdity of the commercial art world by applying other market principles to the weird, weird system in which art operates. Namely, the power artists and dealers wield to assign arbitrary monetary values to objects that could cost much less, or in this case, be free. And in the bizarre era of late-capitalist neoliberalism, I suppose approaching a sponsor that sells nachos and bags of pre-cooked refried beans feels downright democratic in comparison to the usual art-world check-writers: luxury car brands, LVMH labels, overpriced champagne manufacturers…

Whitney: Completely agree. Orozco’s making a game out of buying with the high-low pricing structure, and your understanding of the rules depends on where you are in the economy. I personally consider the first buyer (of the $30,000) to be the loser and the last buyer (of the $60 work) to be the winner, as the bargain-getter. That’s funny because the only rationale for spending the most money on the same item is to be a winner: buying value which has no real meaning unless all the rich people agree that it does. So I think most people would consider the biggest spender to be a complete idiot, but it doesn’t matter anyway because our opinions literally count for nothing and theirs count for $30,000.

I think the Russian doll is a really accurate metaphor. The larger concept of speculative economics for the super rich is wrapped around the economy of goods, something tangible which the rest of us can understand.

It was a good show.

Michael: My only complaint is that I couldn’t take the Juan-Gabriel-Orozco:

More recent Mexico City coverage:

SLIDESHOW: Mexico City Galleries, Part 1

Museum Punk Show in Need of A Sound Guy

Material Light on Substance, Heavy With Dick Pics

Slideshow: Zona MACO, The Art Fair Where Commerce and Politics Make Strange Bedfellows

We Went to Mexico: General Idea at Museo Jumex Restored Our Faith in Art For Fuck’s Sake

We Went to Mexico: Barbara Kruger and Juan Pablo de la Vega Take the Subway

The Timelessness of Sex, Violence, and Portraiture: Otto Dix at MUNAL

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