The sound of silence (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc) + (Alfie Solomons x Tommy Shelby)
Summary: Why did she agree? To make Alfie happy. Why did Tommy accept? Because love is blind. For two years they've been living under the same roof. She and Tommy sharing the same man... And the same misery. Love makes you feel happy, people say. They know it's not always true.
Warnings: Angst. ANGST. || Alfie is bigamous.|| Everyone here is miserable. || Mentions of killing and political corruption. Period typical homophobia. || Did I mention ANGST?
Words: 3.6k || Alfie masterlist
"Put a number."
There she was in front of a man making business with him to save her husband and his lover from a catastrophe.
"The newspaper is not for sale."
"Everything is for sale if you know what is good for you and your family. Put a fucking number."
The man was around 45 years old and that money was synonymous with an earlier retirement. Silence had a price and his newspaper, too.
"Twenty-five grand."
"I'll make 27 and I'll guarantee that your ass is safe, as long as you learn to keep your mouth shut. Do we have an agreement, Mr. Donovan?"
"Yes, Mrs. Solomons."
"If you open your mouth, a bullet will open your fucking brain. Do you understand, right?"
"I do, Mrs. Solomons. I do."
First she signed the papers that made her the legal owner of the most important newspaper in London and then, she gave him the cheque. If 27,000 pounds didn't make him be quiet and understood the kind of people were behind her, then violence will. But that was the last choice.
Two policemen started their days with a bullet in their hearts and an inspector appeared drown in the Thames. But they were just isolated accidents: thieves and a suicide. That's what the newspaper was going to say the following morning.
No mentions of the fucking party.
Solomons-Shelby was an alliance that could make the King shit on his throne. And the leaders of both bands were fucking in the same bed.
-Two years ago-
Alfie liked him. Rose knew it the moment her husband started to talked nonstop about the Birmingham man as soon as they met and for the first time ever she experienced jealousy. Until Thomas Shelby appeared, Alfie never put his eyes on anyone else but her.
"I love you, Rosie."
"…but you also love him."
Alfie didn't like him. Alfie loved him.
"Do you want the divorce?"
The words shattered her own heart. The idea of a life without her Alfie sounded like millions of knives in her soul. They were always him and her against the world, since they were kids. Always. Silent tears started to run down her cheeks, but she kept looking at him.
"Fuck! No! I can't live without you, Rosie. Don't ask me that again! I love you."
"Do you?"
"Like always."
"Did you cheat on me with him?"
"No. Not even once."
"Did you fantasize about fucking him?" she continued asking. But this time Alfie didn't answer. Rose bit her lower lip and nodded "You did."
Rose demanded to meet the man in question. She didn't expect to see what she saw. The man in front of him was the kind of person that God put on Earth to make other doubt about themselves. And Rose, was one of them. Took her little to nothing to understand why her husband for years, her forever love, suddenly appeared in their house with someone else in his mind.
She agreed because she didn't want to see Alfie lost in a world where he craved for a touch she couldn't give him. She agreed because the last thing Rose wanted was to see the person he loved the most being sad. She agreed because she didn't want to lose him.
The first night Alfie spent with Thomas Shelby, Rose did it crying in their bed praying for that was just a bad dream.
"I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to leave you," he said over and over again when he returned the next morning. She was laying on him, both of them in his favourite couch, while his arms were around her. "I don't know how to say this anymore, but I love you, sweetheart. I swear I love you."
Rose nodded "I know."
She was a proud woman and even when it was Alfie, Rose didn't want to show weakness. She wasn't weak, even if she was broken.
Seeing her, Alfie promised himself that the previous night with Tommy it was going to be the first and last at the same time. Rose could put her mask of strong woman, but Alfie was the only one she couldn't fool. The woman next to him, was once the little girl that committed shenanigans with him. Alfie grew up knowing how she lied. He knew how to read her easily. And she was lying.
The man cupped her face and kissed her. Slowly with tenderness. He loved her and the last thing he wanted was to make her suffer.
"I love you. Tell me you believe me, Rosie."
"I do."
No, she didn't. She didn't believe him.
"Just give me time, Alfie," she said reading his mind.
"How could you doubt that I love you?"
"I don't know what I believe anymore... I'm still trying to understand why did you slept with someone else. And why I agreed."
Because Tommy Shelby is a demigod, her mind said. Of course Alfie chose him.
"It won't happen again."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
.
Tommy couldn't deny his feelings anymore. The amount of prostitutes he slept with, because supposedly that was something men did, couldn't be compared with what happened with the other man in that house he bought in London. It was a small, cozy house that was bought with the sole purpose of fuck with Alfie there. And that was what happened the night before.
He was smoking still in bed, alone and thinking about him. Alfie was married to a woman and Tommy knew Alfie could kill for her. Tommy knew very well that his friend never was going to leave Rose, not for obligation due to the marriage vows, but because he was still in love with her.
To society, she was his wife. Rose was the woman he could walk through the city and no one was going to ask a thing. Alfie was free to hold hands with her and kiss in public. They even made a cute couple. The way his eyes shone when he talked about her and the special way he had to say "My Rosie."
But him, Tommy, he was a fuck in a house after midnight when no one was in the streets. And during day he was Solomons' business partner, the gangster leader of Peaky Blinders. The one who never was going to be anything but a pal.
Tommy started to dress to return to Birmingham. Suddenly he felt like a whore, too.
Nothing but a whore, his mind said.
But Rose was right. Alfie couldn't keep his hands off Tommy. Even if he resisted the temptation the first weeks after their first encounter, Alfie and Tommy found themselves in the same situation more than once. And the most time they spent together, the more in love they fell.
Alfie never hide it from her. Alfie was ready to stop if she didn't consent that anymore. In her whole life, Rose never wanted more to yell at him, to beg him to stop seeing the other man. To even shook him. But she lowered her head and agreed once again because his husband was happy. And also agreed to receive Tommy in her house, to live with them.
Agreed to share the meals with him. To see Alfie's eyes looking at him with love.
Agreed to divide the time she shared with Alfie, and that once was only hers, with another person.
In the next two years she lost her husband as such, her self-esteem, her voice and her smile.
Now
"I bought the newspaper," Rose said entering the house. Tommy and Alfie were in the same table, drinking tea. Or at least her husband was drinking tea. "Donovan won't be a problem. I'm sure."
"Thanks, sweetheart."
"Don't thank me, Alfie. I hope next time you two decide to go to a party, at least check that it's not a fucking trap," she left her coat on a chair and removed her shoes. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired I don't want to be mean… I'm tired. Just that. Don't mind me."
Both men saw her go upstairs to her and Alfie's bedroom.
"Maybe you should go too and check on her," Tommy said. "She's upset."
"I know that. She's my wife!"
"Well, then do something. Today is her turn, after all. And she started her day saving our asses. My ass, especially because she saved me just because of you."
Her turn.
Alfie followed his wife's steps upstairs hearing Tommy's voice. He was right, but doesn't meant it was pleasant to hear. It never was Rose's turn, same way it never was Tommy's turn like if his heart switched to one person to another. One could say that it was perfect to have two people to love living under the same roof. If one got mad, then the other could be willing to open the arms. The double of sex. But it wasn't the case, real life didn't work that way. And lovely as it sounded, it was also tiresome. And not just physically.
"I'm not in the mood," she said when he entered the bedroom.
"I know, sweetheart."
Two years passed and she learnt to be in silence when she wanted to scream. At him. At Tommy. At herself for being so stupid.
The daylight contributed to her bad mood so she closed the windows and let the darkness embrace her. Rose sat down in bed and let out a deep sigh, rubbing her face with her hands.
"I miss you, ya know?" Alfie said sitting at her side. "I miss you, Rosie."
"Mmh. I'm right here, Alfie."
"You're not."
It took them a while to make an agreement. Alfie could spend one week with each of them, doing whatever they want. Watching movies, having sex, killing people, whatever they wanted to do but away from the other part of the fucked triangle they now belonged. It was a great deal for Tommy because he was free to be with the man he loved in the big city that London was, and had time to return to Birmingham to take care of his business. But it wasn't so great for Rose who had to spend her week alone surrounded by her own thoughts in a house that was too big just for her and the dogs. And when it was the time to be with her husband, she felt exhausted.
Alfie touched her hair with his fingertips and caressed her jawline, too. It was hard to think that for him, but he couldn't ignore it anymore, although it was easier to think she was just tired. But Alfie had to come to terms with himself and admit that he didn't see her smile in a long time.
She was always a happy person, anyone who knew her for sure heard her laugh. How many times the two of them were reprimanded by teachers because they couldn't stop giggling? And not so many years ago, the quiet hours together usually were interrupted by Rose's laugh because he told her something that happened in the distillery or because they were commenting something they heard in the radio. Or Cyril's shenanigans. But now, even if he tried, Alfie couldn't remember seeing her smiling.
And they didn't make love in months.
"My women killed the policemen and the inspector. No one will suspect and no one will ask a thing. But I expect that next time you be more careful, Alfie."
"Tommy will repay you the money you waste on us."
"I don't want it. But if it makes him feel better he can make a donation for the school."
"A donation will be, then. Luv, I was thinking that we can go to a pretty restaurant tonight. There's a kosher one, it's new. Ollie told me that it's quite good."
"Okay."
Alfie kissed her cheek "no matter what you think, I still love you and I'll love you till my last day."
Rose gulped to make disappear the knot in her throat and nodded. Don't cry. Don't cry.
"I know, Alfie."
The man hesitated for a second before putting an arm around her. She was so tense that it felt like moving a piece of furniture to him. For a moment she didn't reciprocate the embrace, but when Alfie moved his body to let her go, her hands grasped to his shirt and hid her face on his shoulder.
"Don't leave me," her voice was broken and the tears she was holding were wetting his chest.
"You know I would never leave you."
"I don't know anything about us anymore, Alfie. But please, don't leave me."
Downstairs, Tommy was smoking. Last thing he wanted was to break the precarious situation the three of them were in. The invitation was on Ada's table when he visited her earlier that week, probably belonged to Ada's roommate. It seemed to be harmless and when he commented it to Alfie, he agreed. There were no places for them to go as couple and for once, it seemed to be a good opportunity, only it wasn't. Homosexual parties weren't uncommon but it was risky. Numerous times, men ended in the gallows thanks to the laws. But that was London and his partner wasn't someone else but Alfie Solomons and he could buy freedom because of money or because of fear.
Tommy didn't dare to see the faces of the other men who were still in the police station, when both of them left the building. How many of them were going to die just because they were experiencing happiness one night in their lives?
Tommy remembered Rose's face when Alfie woke her up at 4am when they arrived at the house. She didn't say a word and to be honest with himself, Tommy never heard her say a lot although it was well known by people around the Solomons, that she was talkative as much as Alfie was. The woman went to her office in the house and made some phonecalls. She had her own people, all women, behind her to protect the school she founded. And those women never hesitate to follow her orders.
Killing the cops was a way to say the rest of the police department that better they keep their tongues tied. Same with the former owner of the newspaper.
Tommy lighted up another cigarette. What was he next to her? Alfie's wife sent three men to hell and a fourth one was threatened, just to protect her husband's name. And his. He was part of the man she married now and Tommy didn't know if she was going to do something like that for him, again
Or how much time Alfie was going to be able to bear with that kind of life. In Tommy's mind, if Alfie was going to choose someone then it was going to be her. But he didn't want that.
.
Allowing Alfie to touch her again, it felt good. Especially because he was sweet with her. Maybe it was true he missed her.
He was on top if her, kissing her neck and stroking her sides. That was the life they deserved to have but after knowing Tommy, after tasting him, she wasn't sure if she was enough for Alfie.
How much self-esteem was a man capable destroy?
Outdoors she fought for women's rights, freedom, fuck the patriarchy, down with men.
Indoors, she was ready to share her husband if that meant to remain on his side. And the only thing she had to sell was her own happiness.
"You promised me a life full of love," she said, later, in his arms. "We were kids. We were in love and I believe you."
"I promised you a lot of things and I'm fulfilling none."
"Not true. You did but I'm not the only one in your heart anymore. It's not your fault that you fell in love with him, too."
Alfie kissed her once again. It wasn't fair for her, among the three of them she was the one who gave in the more.
"I'd give my life to see you smile again, Rosie. My Rosie."
.
"How's she?" Tommy asked when Alfie went downstairs, once his wife finally fall asleep.
"I don't know."
"I did tell you or I didn't that this was going to break her? It was a fucking bad idea from the very beginning."
"What do you want me to tell ya, Tom? Eh? I fucking love you! And it didn't seem that bad the first time to you, not even last night. Fuck off!"
"I love you too, Alfie. I do, but this is not working. Your wife is a ghost of the woman I know she was, you don't know how manage two partners and I-… I feel like a homewrecker."
Alfie sat on his couch and petted Cyril's head who seemed to be the only one happy in that house. "You're not."
"Are you sure?"
"There's a reason I gave you a ring, Tom."
Tommy looked at his hand. It happened around eight months ago. No one were going to notice that he was using another ring, considering he wore several ribgs all the time. They were in bed when Alfie pulled out a little velvet box from the nightstand table and gave it to him. That was the moment Alfie became bigamous. One marriage was legal and open to society, the other no and belonged to the shadows and the solitude of their room.
Only Rose noticed the extra ring, but she didn't say anything. Like it was usual. Tommy too remained silent in several occasions and even Alfie didn't let his mind speak as it was common to him.
In the Solomons-Shelby household, most of the time the only thing that could be heard was the silence.
.
It was midnight that same day when Rose heard noises downstairs, but neither Cyril or Beast were barking, so she asumed the one making noises was Tommy. Rose put her nightgown on and went to the living room, she found Tommy packing.
"To Birmingham?"
"Yes." Tommy looked at her, before closing his suitcase. "Forever."
"You can't."
"Tell me why can't I, Rose. It's my fucking life."
"He loves you."
"No more than he loves you. Let's be honest, Rose, you want me out of your lives." Tommy put his coat on and searched his cigarettes in one of his pockets.
The woman embraced herself and nodded. "I do. But Alfie could be miserable again because no matter what I do for him, I'm not you. I'm not God's best creation, I'm not smart as you are, I don't have your eyes, I can't be all you are even if I reborn a thousand times. He chose you and if roles were reversed, if you were the spouse and me "the other one" I don't think he'd do all the things he did for you."
"Then, you're belittling yourself. Your husband is capable to fight the Devil for you."
"Because I'm his best fr…"
"Because you're his fucking soulmate, Rose!! And that's something I'm never going to be. Don't underestimate yourself anymore, because I know very well the way he talks about you when he's with me and that's something he doesn't do when he's with you… FUCK!" Tommy threw the cigarette on the floor. "Rosie this, Rosie that… and I know he doesn't mention me when you two are together because he doesn't want to hurt you. But he hurts me."
She sat on a chair and looked at him. "I don't think he does that on purpose."
"No, he does not. But he still does it. So, I better leave before it's too late to leave."
"If you go, he'll go after you. He's also your husband, right? The ring. You don't need a legal paper to prove that. Not in front of me."
Tommy shook his head.
"Go to bed," she said. "Tomorrow it'll be a new day."
Rose turned around, not waiting for an answer. She entered the bathroom before returning to bed with Alfie. She stared herself in the mirror. The woman looking at her wasn't the one she knew once. That one was a pathetic version of the woman she used to be proud of.
But she wasn't there to feel even more pathetic. She was there to do something else. Rose looked at the mirror again and she practiced how to smile. For Alfie, she thought, trying once again. And her eyes were filled with sadness, but she kept trying until got a smile like the ones she used to have.
The next morning when Alfie went to the dinning room he found Tommy reading the newspaper, the one under new management, and Rose having her usual breakfast.
"Good morning, Alfie," Tommy said.
Alfie greeted him too and sat next to Rose who was looking at him.
"Like you practice…" the woman thought and gave Alfie her best smile she could. "Morning, Al."
Alfie kissed her forehead. No, she couldn't lie to him, and Alfie felt miserable because he knew she didn't want to smile but was trying to make things easier.
For a moment they shared a normal morning but despite their efforts, the silence return to the house. Except in their own heads.
Alfie overheard the conversation the night before between Tommy and Rose. That wasn't a good life for any of them.
He loved them, but he wasn't selfish, not when it was about love. Alfie made a decision, now he needed to say it, even if his own heart was going to end broken, probably forever.
23 notes
·
View notes