#big or flashy you don't even need to have a public if you don't want. But I think it'd be a good and easy way to fix all this''

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagine: Simply Shady II*

Summary: You surprise Joe at training camp!

(Part 2 to - Part one)

Warnings: Fluff, smut (sending nudes, piv sex in a public place)

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Misc.

A/N: Go to the very end to see y/n’s Porsche!! (you'll find out about it later)

August 1, 2024 - Second day of pads

After my mental walk through memory lane sparked by Joe’s hair, we cuddled in bed for a few more minutes before Joe got up to shower.

Last night, after quite a few rounds of a purely blissful workout, Joe and I were too tired to shower, so he was going it now. Since he was up early to go to camp, I was in no rush to get out of bed, so I declined his offer to join him.

Joe showered fairly quickly and came out of the bathroom wearing a random t-shirt and his pink shorts. He walked over to the bed, a grin on his face as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I’ll be back home right after practice ends. I don't have any meetings or sessions today.” - Joe

“Alrighty. See ya later, I love you.” - you

“I love you too. Byeeee.” - Joe

Joe drawled the word out as he grabbed his practice bag and disappeared down the hallway. I laid there just grinning at his adorableness.

After staring at the doorway for a few moments, I rolled over onto Joe’s pillow like I always did when he was gone. I loved burrowing my nose into the fabric to smell his familiar scent, something that always helped if I was dealing with separation anxiety.

-

An hour later, I had just stepped out of the shower when my phone vibrated on the counter.

bengals added to their story

I immediately picked up my phone and clicked the notification. My eyes widened at the video of Joe walking into the practice fields. That black compression shirt was one of the hottest things he could wear, along with his cut-off football pants turned into shorts. God, he looks mouthwatering. After staring for a few minutes, a thought entered my head.

What if I went to surprise him?

Joe and I had been planning on soft launching our engagement for a while now. Every idea we came up with, we didn't like. An Instagram post didn't feel like an us way of announcing it. And Joe didn't want to just blurt it out in a press conference.

What if I went, surprised Joe, and wore my ring?

I couldn't help but giggle when I looked over at it in my jewelry dish. Though I had told Joe I didn't need anything big and flashy, that’s exactly what he gave me. The gorgeous diamond glittered in the light coming from overhead, and you couldn't miss it from a mile away.

After I made my mind up, I quickly threw on a pair of jean shorts and Joe’s yellow Bengals shirt. I blow-dried my hair, did light makeup after, and then pulled my hair back into a slicked-back ponytail. I curled the pony as a final touch, grabbed my lipgloss that I knew was Joe’s favorite scent, and sprayed my fav perfume on.

I was walking out of the bathroom when I stopped dead in my tracks, honestly unable to fathom how I almost forgot the star of the show.

Doing a quick jog back to the bathroom, I grabbed my engagement ring and slipped it on, my eyes going wide when I saw that my curling iron was still on.

“Oopsies.” - you chuckled to yourself

After that, it was smooth sailing all the to the garage and into my car. As soon as my hand touched the steering wheel, I remembered when Joe surprised me with it.

——

Flashback - October, 2023

It was a normal October day, or so I thought, I was returning home after yet another shitty day at work, but a smile pulled on my lips when I pulled into the driveway to see Joe standing at the front door, waiting for me.

He was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, looking incredibly adorable with his hood pulled over his head. I was quick to get out of the car to run up to him, not even paying any mind to park in the garage like normal.

“Hi, baby.” - Joe grinned

“What are you up to?” - you laughed

Joe just shrugged with a smile, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close to his warm chest. I could feel his rapid heartbeat, but I just figured it was because he was excited that I was home.

I leaned in to give him a sweet kiss, our lips staying entwined as Joe pulled me into the house and shut the door.

He ended up pulling away out of necessity, both of us a little out of breath from the kiss.

“I have a surprise for you in the garage.” - Joe

I gasped, my hands lightly slapping his chest out of excitement. I tried to think about what the surprise could be, especially with it being in the garage. Joe had just signed his contract extension last month, and with the load of money that had just come into his possession, he was unpredictable.

“Did you get the patio furniture I was looking at the other day?” - you gasped

Joe shrugged, purposely grinning cheekily to lead you on to think that you had guessed it. You couldn't be farther off, though.

A moment later, Joe moved to stand behind me. He put one muscular arm around my waist to guide me before covering my eyes with one big hand.

“Joeyy.” - you giggled

“Just trust me.” - Joe grinned

I did just that, and Joe guided me to the garage, pausing for a moment to open the door before leading me down the steps.

“Okay ready?” - Joe

“Mhm!!” - you

Joe felt a smile pull at his lips at how excited I was getting. With his arm still around my waist and his hand still on my eyes, Joe leaned forward and turned his head to the side to kiss my cheek.

“Three… two… one…” - Joe

Dramatically, Joe removed his hands from my eyes and jumped to the side to watch my reaction.

Letting out a loud gasp, I immediately slapped my hands onto my cheeks when I saw what was in front of me. It was a car. A fucking Porsche, to be more specific. It was my favorite color, blue, and one of the prettiest shades of it at that.

“Joe! You did not!” - you

“But I diddd.” - Joe smirked

After staring at the car of my literal dreams for a few more moments, tears started to form in my eyes. Joe, my boyfriend, who just signed a huge contract, made his first big purchase of it on me.

I turned and looked at him before running into his arms. Joe immediately hugged me tight, slowly swaying us from side to side as he let me cry into his chest.

“I hope these are happy tears.” - Joe nervously chuckled

“They're major happy tears, Joey.” - you sobbed

Joe pulled my head away from his chest before turning around and reaching into the mudroom. He grabbed the key off of the little hanger, handing it to me with a proud smile on his face.

He loved every bit of this. He was making the amount of money where he could buy his favorite person the car of her dreams, and he had never felt so proud of himself.

“Go look.” - Joe smiled

I unlocked the car, opened the door, and somehow cried harder when I saw the interior. Joe seriously picked everything that I would've.

Before I even got a good look, I turned back around and moved back into Joe’s arms. Joe chuckled as he held me close, rubbing my back and peppering my head with kisses.

“Thank you… so much.” - you cried

“You’re so welcome, baby.” - Joe

It took me a few minutes to collect myself, but once I wasn't steadily crying, Joe and I got into the car so he could show me how to work some stuff.

“Oh, fuck. I forgot I got the massaging front seats too.” - Joe

“These things massage?!?” - you

“Yup. They're also ventilated and heated.” - Joe grinned

He really decked me out.

“Why’d you get all of these add-ons for my car when you just got original everything for your own?” - you

“Uhm, that's obvious. I want you to have everything and more, so I'm gonna get you everything possible. Did you see the all-black wheels??” - Joe

I nodded, feeling a little emotional when Joe hooked his phone up to the car and played a favorite song of mine lately.

Joe and I giggled, using our hands as fake microphones as we sang You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift. I had my head leaned over onto his shoulder as I sang, lovesick grins on both of our faces.

“I love you.” - Joe grinned

“I love you more.” - you smiled

——

Back to present day

By the time my walk down memory lane was over, I was pulling into the parking lot of the stadium. My eyes widened when I realized I somehow drove here completely zoned out.

“I won't question it.” - you mumbled

As I walked over to the practice fields, I noticed my favorite security guard already smiling at me from a few feet away.

“Hey, Freddie!!” - you grinned

“Hello, Miss y/n.” - Freddie

Freddie waved, and without thinking, I waved back with my left hand. Freddie’s eyes went wide, and I giggled when I looked down at my hand to see what gave him that reaction.

“Is that a ring I see??” - Freddie

“Yes, sir.” - you grinned

Once I got closer to him, he put his hand out, and I hovered my hand over his. Freddie examined the hefty ring on my finger with a smile on his face.

“I’m glad he finally did it. And might I add, Mr. Burrow did exceptionally picking this out. This ring is huge, sweetie.” - Freddie

“I’m glad he did it too, and yes, Joe did amazing. I catch myself staring at it all of the time.” - you

“Does he know you're coming?” - Freddie

I shook my head no, and Freddie personally escorted me over to the family and friends area. He knew I got a lot of unwarranted hate, and without Joe knowing I was here and keeping eyes on me, he wanted to make sure I got over to the restricted area safely.

When I first got over to some of the other wags, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the amount of adorable babies there were.

Gracie McPherson, Evan’s wife, let me hold their daughter Merritt, and I felt myself melt when I held her in my arms.

Morgan Wilson was standing to the side, silently smiling as she assessed the situation before her eyes fell on the ring on my finger. She let out a loud gasp, making all of us look over at her.

“Everything okay?” - Gracie

“Y/N… what is on your left hand?!” - Morgan

Gracie’s neck snapped in my direction before she looked down at my ring finger, making her gasp as well.

I couldn't help but laugh as Gracie, Morgan, and a couple of the other girls all looked at me with their jaws dropped open. They were waiting for me to say something or at least confirm their thoughts.

“We’re engaged.” - you grinned

All of the girls squealed, Gracie even getting Merritt out of my arms in back in her stroller so that she could pull me into a hug.

“You’re gonna be a wife!!!!” - Gracie

“Oh my gosh! Here comes Mrs. Y/N Burrow, everyone!” - Morgan squealed

We all spent a few minutes giggling, all of the girls congratulating me and poking fun at Joe for finally getting down on one knee.

The rest of the practice was kind of boring. Nothing super significant happened until the practice was finally over. Sam came over to say hi to Jess, his face lighting up when he saw me, knowing I was here to surprise Joe.

“Oh my god! Wait, I'll go get him.” - Sam

Sam gave Jess a quick kiss before running off to get Joe, who was signing autographs. From far away, I saw Joe’s face light up when Sam pointed in the direction of the family area.

Joe signed for a few more minutes before jogging over to me. I giggled when I saw that he was trying to suppress a grin.

When Joe finally made it over to me, he let the grin take over his lips. There was a rope between us, and Joe crouched underneath it.

God, he looks perfect. Joe’s wearing his black cut-off compression shirt with his little white shorts.

“What’re you doing here??” - Joe grinned

“Wanted to surprise you.” - you grinned

“Well, you sure did.” - Joe chuckled

I reached out with my left hand, putting it on Joe’s chest. Joe looked down at my hand and smiled when he noticed that I had my engagement ring on.

“Is this our soft hard launch?” - Joe

“I think soooo. All of the girls were freaking out when they saw it.” - you giggled

Joe’s cheeks were starting to hurt from how hard he was smiling. He was over the moon that it would be public that we were getting married, along with the excitement that I had surprised him.

“Can I get a kiss?” - Joe

“I don't know. You're super sweaty.” - you chuckled

All he did was roll his eyes, wrapping a muscular arm around my waist and pulling me into him before pressing his lips to mine. The kiss was short, still a little heated, though.

Joe just looked way too hot right now. How was I supposed to not kiss him harder than usual?

When we eventually pulled away, Joe’s eyes were a little wide, and his cheeks were flushed.

“Someone’s worked up.” - Joe chuckled

“Have you seen yourself? I'm gonna be a little worked up when my fiance looks like a walking orgasm.” - you

Joe rolled his eyes a little, trying to cover up that his cheeks were blushing before he leaned in for another kiss. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the photographers snapping a picture in our direction, so I made sure that my ring was noticeable.

“Very subtle, baby.” - Joe laughed

“We’re not going for subtle. If I could climb to the top of the stadium with a megaphone and yell that we were engaged, I would.” - you

We spent a few more minutes wrapped up in each other before Joe departed to go take a shower. I walked back to my car with an unwipeable smile stuck on my face.

I was sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for Joe to come out since he said we could go get lunch together, when he sent me a text.

It was a few pictures of us that the photographer had taken, my engagement ring sparkling under the Cincinnati sun. The text Joe sent with it made me giggle.

I’d say I did a pretty damn good job picking that ring 🤷����‍♂️

You definitely did babe 😙

I mean… do you see that sparkle?!

I think the space station can see the sparkle, Joe. LOL. But hurry up! I'm hungryyy.

Yes, ma'am 🫡

As I waited for Joe, I laid my head back against the headrest, and my mind wandered back to the end of June.

——

Flashback - end of June

Joe was done in France and was on his plane home. I was so excited to see him after being apart from him for a while.

I landed and am at the place 😁

What the fuck does that mean?

Wdym? What place?

The Airbnb that we’re staying at for a few days.

My mouth dropped open at his text, my heart rate picking up at the surprise. Where even was he?

We’re? Where are you??

Yes, we’re. You have a flight here to me tomorrow. I'm in Hydra, Greece, baby. 🤍

What the fuck? Is this a joke? Why are we going to Greece?

It’s almost camp. I felt bad that my first big International trip wasn't with you. So why not extend said trip a little so that I can have memories with the love of my life, too?

You’re unreal. Giving me a day's notice to pack is crazy, though. You’re lucky that I'm so excited for this trip, babyyy.

Then you should get to it, babyyy. Ttyl 😘

I had to grin when he used extra y’s in the word baby like I had. He's so adorable sometimes.

Ttyl Joey!! ILYYY. I'm so excited for the trip. 🤭

Joe hearted the message before he put his phone down to take a nap. On his bedside table was the little black box that had been burning a hole in his pocket for a while. He couldn't help but grin when he grabbed it, pulling it to him before opening it to see the engagement ring that was stored inside.

This was it. He was gonna propose. And he was so glad that it was you.

-

Though packing was a nightmare, I got done eventually and got ready for the night. I don't think I ever slept just tossed and turned out of excitement.

The morning came fairly quickly, and I was practically bubbling when I walked up the steps of the charter plane.

I sent Joe a quick text telling him that I made it onto the plane, ending it with yet another ‘I miss you’.

Scrolling through my camera roll while waiting for a response, I was a little intrigued when the text banner popped up.

Shiesty 💓 - Attachment: 1 Image

I clicked the notification, gasping when I saw the picture, and immediately smashed my phone to my chest to cover my screen.

The image consisted of Joe standing in front of a wall-length mirror, butt naked. The star of the show? One of his huge veiny hands wrapped around his even bigger erect cock.

I miss you too. 💕

I couldn't help but laugh. The insanely revealing and intimate image paired with such a tame and innocent text was baffling. It was so Joe, though.

Joe’s duality never failed to amaze me. On the outside, he was this confident, level-headed star NFL quarterback, and at home with me, he could be multiple different things.

1. An intimate, purely sexy lover who took the reigns in the bedroom.

2. A seriously romantic guy, constantly showering me with love and affection. His more serious side when it came to our relationship.

3. A total softy goofball. Where all he wants is to be cuddled and kissed as he can't help but blush and giggle.

There was never any in-between, and he was always in one of those three modes.

It was a few moments later when I realized I hadn't texted Joe back, so I made sure to quickly do that.

Oh my god, Joe.

Thought I’d send you a little treat after those lingerie pics you sent me last night. 😙

That is def a treat, baby. I wish I was there to have a taste.

You have no idea how horny I am right now. I’m about to bust just from seeing your contact name pop up.

Joe and I went back and forth for a while, just teasing each other before he eventually said that he was in dire need of a cold shower. I had to giggle when Joe sent me a selfie, showing me that his face was completely flushed red.

After my text convo with Joe ended, I decided to take a nap because this was going to be a loooong plane ride.

-

When I finally landed, it was later in the day in Greece, and there was already a driver for me waiting.

I was antsy the entire way there, just completely excited to see Joe for the first time in a week. When the GPS in the car said arrived, my jaw dropped open at the beautiful house we pulled up to.

Joe was standing on the second-floor balcony, a grin spreading on his lips when he saw me step out of the car.

“Joey!!!” - you squealed

“Hi, baby.” - Joe smiled

Moments later, I helped the driver get my suitcase to the door before I ran into the house. I quickly found the staircase that led upstairs, peeking in every room till I found the master bedroom that Joe was standing in.

When I finally found him, I practically sprinted towards him before throwing myself into his arms.

“There's my gorgeous girl.” - Joe

My legs went around Joe’s waist as his arms went around my waist. Joe held me tightly to him as he slowly swayed from side to side, squeezing me tightly.

“I missed you so much.” - you

“I missed you too, baby. So much.” - Joe

We stayed like that for a while, just wrapped up in each other’s arms before Joe eventually moved around and fell back onto the bed. I fell with him, and I quickly got comfortable in his chest.

“Do you wanna take a quick nap? We have a date later.” - Joe

“A date?” - you grinned

Joe’s heart fluttered when he saw the sparkle in your eyes. He hoped he'd see them again later after what he was going to do at dinner, which would change your lives forever.

-

After our nap, Joe got ready fairly quickly, but it took me a lot longer. I was surprised to see that Joe was somewhat dressed up when he walked into the bathroom.

“You look handsome.” - you grinned

Joe slightly blushed at the comment, walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder, just watching me do my makeup.

“I love you so much.” - Joe mumbled

“I love you too.” - you grinned

-

Joe and I walked hand in hand to the restaurant just because it was so close. The hostess immediately recognized Joe and walked us to our private eating area outside.

It overlooked the gorgeous water, and the warm fairy lights above us illuminated the darkness.

“Joe, it’s beautiful.” - you

Joe looked over at me, his baby-blue eyes scanning over every feature on my face as I continued to look forward.

“It is, isn't it?” - Joe

He was talking about you.

-

Dinner was delicious, and it was incredibly romantic. The slight breeze made Joe’s curls fly around, and there were quite a few times when I caught myself staring at him. The light from the candle on the table lit up Joe’s eyes and made his tan skin glow in an utterly incandescent way.

Joe’s white button-up shirt was clinging to his chest and arms, making him look even more desirable. He just looked perfect all around.

When we were finished eating and Joe paid, we started walking together, but in the opposite direction of our Airbnb.

“Joe, where are we going?” - you

“You’ll see.” - Joe grinned

After walking for a few minutes, my hand tightly wrapped in Joe’s, we ended up at this private beach access point.

“Uhm, are we allowed to be here?” - you

“Yup. I pulled some strings. You might wanna take your heels off, though.” - Joe

I bent down to start unwrapping the strings of my heels before Joe dropped down on his knees in front of me. Joe gently picked one of my feet up, and I grabbed onto his shoulders as he slid the shoe off, doing the same for the other side.

Joe stood back up, holding my heels with one hand and going back to holding my hand in the other. It was a small gesture, holding my heels for me, but it didn't go unnoticed.

As we started walking together, I saw a wooden rope swing in the distance, roses and candles all scattered around it.

“Joe… this is so sweet.” - you smiled

“Wanna swing?” - Joe grinned

I nodded, and we both quickly jogged over. The swing was sort of high up, so Joe grabbed my hips, easily lifting me and setting me down on the piece of wood.

Then, Joe walked behind me and gently started pushing me. The giggles leaving my lips were calming his nerves because silently, he was freaking out. He was now hyperaware of the ring box in his pocket, and suddenly, that pocket started feeling tighter and tighter.

After a few minutes, Joe walked back in front of me, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to pull him closer and kiss him.

“This is the most romantic thing in the world, Joe. Thank you for everything.” - you

I looked up at him, nothing but love in his eyes as he looked down at me like I was the only woman in the world like I was his most valuable possession.

“You mean the world to me, y/n. You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and though I wholeheartedly believe that women aren't possessions, you're the most valuable thing I've ever had.” - Joe

“I was just thinking that! I was just thinking that you look at me like I'm your most valuable possession.” - you

The entire time I was talking, Joe was staring into my eyes with that perfect smile on his face. He seemed a little dazed, but I’ll take it as he's a little tired, happy, and buzzed from the wine we drank at the restaurant.

“You always know what I'm thinking, huh?” - Joe

“That seems to be a common theme!” - you giggled

That’s when Joe got an idea.

“Oo. Let’s test your skills. Close your eyes, and I’ll hold several fingers up. You have to guess, and you can open your eyes to see if you're right after.” - Joe

“Okay!!” - you giggled

I closed my eyes, and Joe silently held a couple of fingers up. With my eyes still shut, I guessed.

“Mmm. Three.” - you

Joe quickly switched the number of fingers from one to three, wanting you to think you got it right because that would make what was about to happen even sweeter.

When I opened my eyes, I laughed when I saw that I had guessed right, clapping my hands and doing a little happy dance.

“I got it!” - you

“You know me so well. Okay, one more.” - Joe smiled

As soon as I closed my eyes, Joe quickly dropped down onto one knee. His heart was beating out of his chest, and his hands were shaking when he pulled the box out of his pocket.

“Mm. I think… nine.” - you guess

Joe took a deep breath before I opened my eyes. I immediately gasped when I looked down at Joe, my hands going up to my face as I immediately started crying.

“Y/n. I don't even know where to start.” - Joe

He nervously chuckled, trying to blink back tears as he took a deep breath and just spoke from the heart.

“Y/n, from the moment we collided on that sidewalk, my life changed forever. It was a chance encounter, but it felt like destiny was bringing us together. Who would have thought that a simple accident would lead to the most beautiful journey of my life? We've been inseparable since college, growing up together, learning from each other, and facing every challenge hand in hand. Your love and support have been my anchor, especially through the demanding world of the NFL. You've been there for every game, every victory, every defeat, cheering me on and lifting me. Your belief in me has been my greatest strength. Now, as we stand on the brink of the rest of our lives, I can't help but look back at all the incredible moments we've shared and look forward to the countless memories yet to be made. You are my best friend, my confidant, and the love of my life. I want to spend every day making you as happy as you make me.” - Joe

Joe’s voice was shaky, along with the sobs that left my mouth as tears streamed down my face. When he was finished speaking, he took yet another deep breath and popped open the ring box.

“Will you marry me? Will you be my forever, my always, and my everything for the rest of my life?” - Joe

I nodded my head, slipping off of the swing and getting onto my knees as well. I engulfed Joe in a hug as I cried into his neck.

“Is that a yes?” - Joe

Pulling back, I cupped his cheeks and looked into his gorgeous teary eyes.

“Yes. Yes, Joe, I’ll marry you.” - you

Joe lept forward, wrapping his arms even tighter around my waist as he smashed his lips into mine. When we pulled away, both Joe and I laughed through our tears as he slipped the ring on my finger.

“We’re gonna get married.” - you sniffed

“Yeah… we are.” - Joe sniffed

We kissed for a few minutes after that, just feeling more in love than ever. Joe was so fucking glad he finally did it.

“My fiance.” - Joe mouthed to himself

——

Back to present day

I was pulled out of my thoughts when there was a knock on my passenger-side window. I jumped, looking over to see Joe cupping his hands to try and see through the tinted glass.

Rolling down the window a little, Joe jumped back, and I unlocked the door. Joe opened it and slid into the seat with a smile on his face.

I grinned when I looked over at him, he was still wearing his compression shirt and shorts, even after he had just practiced in it.

“Why’re you still wearing that?” - you

Joe shrugged because he didn't have a real answer. He put it on in hopes that it'd work you up enough to have a quickie in the back of the car, and since you noticed it so quickly, he was hoping that's what was gonna happen.

“You look good. The extra weight you've put on is driving me crazy.” - you

I spoke to him as I punched in the address for the salad place Joe and I were going to. We’d just get it to-go and eat it in the car.

When I started driving, Joe reached over and put his hand on my thigh, not knowing what to do since he wasn't usually in the passenger seat.

Joe just scrolled through his phone until that bored him, and then he initiated a game of I Spy.

-

While we were eating our lunch, I randomly turned sideways in my seat, extending my legs and letting them rest on Joe’s lap. He barely even flinched, settling his salad on my shins as he continued eating.

“Hey, can I post one of those pics? Do you think it would be a good idea to? So that it’s coming from one of us.” - you

Joe shrugged, taking a hefty bite before quickly chewing it up and swallowing. When he was done with his mouthful, Joe put his fork in his bowl and put his empty hand on my thigh.

“You can do whatever you want, baby. You don't need my permission.” - Joe

“I know, but this is a big deal. If you don't want me to post it, that's okay. This is just as much about you as it is about me.” - you

Joe squeezed my thigh, his eyes never leaving my face as he thought of what to say next.

“You can post it. You can even do that collaboration thing where it posts to my account too, if you want.” - Joe

“You want that on your feed? Joe, you've never once posted me.” - you

“Yes, and I realize how fucking stupid that is. You're the woman that I'm spending the rest of my life with, why not post you?” - Joe shrugged

This Joe 2.0 was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. After his wrist injury, Joe had almost turned into a completely different person. But he'd grown for the better.

“You mean that?” - you

“Of course I mean it. I mean all of it.” - Joe

When he said that, Joe reached out and grabbed my left hand, running his pointed finger over my ring, and my heart exploded.

After I gave him a quick kiss, I reached for my phone, saved the photos Joe sent me, put a quick filter on them, and selected them on an IG post.

I pondered the caption before typing what I thought was clever yet funny.

Got my ring. It’s Joe’s turn this season! 🧡

Joe laughed when I showed him, but he thought it was the cutest thing ever. Before posting it, I made sure to turn the comments off before inviting Joe to be a collaborator. I showed him how to accept it on his phone before finally posting it.

“I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize that I should post you. I've kept the greatest thing to ever happen to me in the dark, and it’s gonna break my heart when the inevitable ‘I didn't even know you had a girl’ comments come rolling in. I just want you to know that you mean the world to me. No matter what anyone else says.” - Joe

When I met his soft eyes, my stomach fluttered but my heart broke a little at the apologetic look in his eye.

“Hey, you know that doesn't matter to me. I genuinely don't care what we make public because of how much love we share in private. I know how much I mean to you.” - you

Joe didn't know what to say, so he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips. When we pulled away, Joe dropped his head on my shoulder, feeling a need for closeness.

“I love you.” - Joe mumbled

“I love you too. Always.” - you kiss head

An impulsive thought entered his mind, and his tongue darted out, licking a stripe up my neck before pulling his tongue back into his mouth and giggling.

“Joe!” - you giggled

“Sorryyy.” - Joe drawled it out

-

After we finished lunch, I drove us back to the stadium so Joe could drive his Porsche back home.

Joe gave me a thorough kiss before he opened the door and slid out. He shut his door before running around the front of the car to my window.

When I didn't roll it down immediately, Joe adorably tapped on the glass, smiling when I eventually rolled the window down.

“I hope you know you're wiping that fingerprint off of my window, Mr. Burrow.” - you

Joe pulled his compression shirt away from his stomach, using it to wipe the barely there mark that I was simply just teasing about. My eyes immediately were glued to the patch of his stomach that was bare, practically salivating at the sight of his happy trail and the thought of what it led too.

“There. But I wanted to know if you wanted to head inside the facility with me. I have to grab something from my locker, and I thought you might wanna see the locker room revamp in person.” - Joe

“Am I allowed? What if a guy walks out of the shower room all naked.” - you

“Practice has been over for like two hours. No one’s there.” - Joe

I contemplated his offer before eventually turning my car off, locking it, and grinning when Joe opened my door for me.

We walked hand in hand to the facility, smiling at the receptionist, Laura, who greeted us.

“Congratulations, you two. I saw your post. Nice ring choice, Joe.” - Laura

“I’d say I did pretty good.” - Joe shrugged

Joe and I kept walking after a minute or so, leading me to these big double doors that needed his key card to enter yet again.

My jaw dropped open when Joe opened the door and gestured for me to walk in. The last time I was in the locker room was after the boys won the AFC Championship. This was not the same locker room.

“Woww. This is so cool, Joe.” - you

“Wait. You haven't even seen my locker.” - Joe

Joe grabbed my hand again, his long legs and excited pace making it hard for me to keep up with him as he borderline race-walked to his area.

“Look! It’s clean. All organized. OH, and look at my fridge!” - Joe

It was adorable how excited he was getting to show me everything. His emphasis on the fact that it was clean was because, with the lack of storage in the old lockers, Joe’s would get majorly messy, and Sam would take a picture when Joe wasn't around and send it to me.

There had been a few times when I’d gotten onto Joe to clean it up, so he was proud to show me his somewhat organized locker.

After Joe’s detailed tour of his locker, he plopped down onto the little chair that sat in front of it. He looked up at me like he was expecting a question, but all I did was climb onto his lap.

Joe’s eyes widened, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned in, kissing up his neck, doing the same to his jaw, and then spreading sloppy kisses all over his smooth cheeks.

“Baby.” - Joe sighed

“You said we’re alone, right?” - you

I slowly started grinding down onto his crotch, while tracing the shell of his ear with my tongue, running it over his jawline, up his chin, and finally pressing a wet and thorough kiss to his lips.

Joe quietly whimpered into the kiss, the movements of my hips getting rougher once I felt something hard below me.

We were kissing like it was our first time tasting each other, pure lust radiating around us as our mouths sloppily moved against each other.

I stopped moving for a moment, moving around till my crotch was right on top of Joe’s hard bulge before I started rocking into him again.

“Fuck. Baby, you're gonna have to stop.” - Joe

“Why, Joey?” - you teased

“I’m gonna fucking cum if you don't stop. Please, stop.” - Joe whimpered

I got off of Joe’s lap a moment, a gush of wetness seeping into my panties as I looked at him in front of me. Joe looked like walking sex.

Fuck, him in that black compression shirt that made his sculpted chest and huge arms bulge out and those shorts that left nothing to the imagination. Joe’s shorts, and the fact that he was sitting, made his huge muscular thighs look fucking perfect. Not to mention the fact that his cock was almost busting out of his shorts. The cut-off football pants already accentuated his crotch, but now that he was hard, every detail of his huge dick was seeable.

Feeling a little bold, I got my phone out of my back pocket as Joe tried to calm himself down.

“Joe. Can I take a picture of you?” - you

“Right now?” - Joe

I nodded, and Joe shrugged, saying ‘I guess’ as I excitedly started directing him.

“Spread your legs more… oh, and put your hands behind your head.” - you

Joe did exactly as I had instructed, purposely flexing both his thighs and his biceps as he smiled for the camera. I bit my lower lip at the image that popped up on my phone. I need him.

“Joe?” - you

“Yeah?” - Joe

I slowly reached for the button of my jean shorts before undoing it, unzipping the fly, and letting them drop to my ankles. Joe’s heart rate picked up as he realized what was gonna happen.

“Are there cameras in here?” - you

“Uhm… I don't think so. Because of the showers.” - Joe

Slowly sliding my panties off, Joe groaned when I walked in between his parted legs and crashed my lips onto his. Joe lifted his hips, yanking his shorts and underwear down before reaching for his shirt.

“You better keep that fucking shirt on.” - you

“Yes, ma’am.” - Joe chuckled

I slid back onto Joe’s lap, hovering over him as I reached down and pumped his cock a few times.

“Baby, please. I need you.” - Joe whimpered

That’s all it took for me to quickly guide his thick tip to my entrance and sink onto him. When he bottomed out, Joe leaned forward and sucked on my neck hard, trying to stifle his moans.

I waited a couple of seconds before slowly starting to rock my hips back and forth. I moaned out from the fullness, Joe’s perfect dick stretching me out.

“Joe, fuck.” - you moaned

Joe reached for my hips, slowly helping me start to pull off and sink back down. His eyes were glued to the way my heat swallowed his thick cock, and it was driving him fucking crazy.

Soon, sounds of skin hitting skin started to fill the locker room as I set a hungry pace, riding Joe into oblivion as he struggled to stay quiet.

“Fuck, baby. You're such a- shit. That's it. That's my good girl.” - Joe whimpered

Joe was going crazy. The love of his life was fucking the hell out of him in the locker room of the NFL team he played for. He couldn't believe this was real life.

I pulled Joe’s head out of my neck and pushed him to where his back was flat against the chair. He looked a little confused, but I couldn't help but borderline drool over his perfect body.

“Put your hands behind your head.” - you

Joe’s eyes go wide before he does as asked, putting his hands behind his head in a way that makes his biceps bulge. He looks like a fucking greek god.

The sight of his thick and veiny arms made my core clench down on Joe’s cock. In response, Joe sucked both of his lips into his mouth, trying his hardest to stay quiet as his face scrunched up.

“Y/n, baby…” - Joe panted

Joe stayed in that position for a while before his arms started to get tired. He dropped his arms and leaned forward yet again. Joe nestled his mouth under one of my ears before he stopped holding back his sounds of pleasure, knowing how much I loved it when he was loud.

“Fuck- mmm, baby.” - Joe whimpered

“Holy shit, Joe.” - you moaned

A few minutes later, I noticed how Joe was starting to get louder. His chest was heaving, and sweat was dripping down his face.

“I’m close. Please… please.” - Joe

I moved faster on him, wanting him to cum for me. How could I not with how perfect he looked?

When Joe’s whimpers got louder, I moved my hands to his lower stomach, moving them under his shirt and running my nails on his lower stomach.

“Oh my god- I’m so fucking close.” - Joe whimpered

A minute later, Joe came, his body shaking as he emptied himself inside of me. Joe was moaning loudly through his whole climax, completely forgetting that we were in a public place.

It took him a couple of moments to collect himself, gaining his breath back, and once his head cleared up, he realized I hadn't finished yet.

Joe abruptly stood up and pulled out, man-handling me to be bent over with my forearms on the chair that he was just sitting on.

Out of nowhere, Joe thrust his entire length into me with no warning. I didn't even get time to adjust before he started moving, and he set a rough pace.

“Oh my god! Joey fuck.” - you whimpered

Joe only sped up, fucking me harder with the need to make me climax in the back of his mind.

“Come on, baby. Are you almost there?” - Joe

“Mm. Yes! Joey, please.” - you moaned

Upon hearing that, Joe started thrusting harder, which I didn't think was possible. Every thrust was hard, hitting that spot inside me each time with his tip.

It wasn't long til I was climaxing. Joe had pinched my clit and gave me a specifically hard thrust that sent me right over the edge.

I moaned his name through my climax, my core clamping down on him so hard that it sent Joe over the edge for a second time. Joe was a mess, whimpering loudly as he shot his second load.

What happened next was something I wasn't expecting at all. As Joe was coming down from his high, he laid a harsh slap on my ass.

Joe left his hand there, bringing his other one over to my other ass cheek as he grabbed two handfuls. That’s how he stayed for a while, letting his cock slowly soften before he eventually pulled out.

When he did, Joe walked over to his mini-fridge & microwave cubby, grabbing some paper towels to clean me up. When he was done with me, handing me back all of my clothes and helping me stand with shaky legs, he cleaned himself off.

Now that we were both fully dressed, Joe cleaned off the chair, doing an all-around assessment of the area to make sure everything was clean.

“I can't believe we just did that.” - you chuckled

“Me neither. That was intense.” - Joe

“Intense and so fucking good.” - you

Joe chuckled, holding me into him tightly as he rubbed his big hands over my back.

“What’re you gonna do with that pic you took of me?” - Joe smirked

In all honesty, Joe felt smug as fuck that I wanted that picture of him. All he could think about was the fact that I thought he looked so good that I needed a picture of it, and it was hard for him to pretend like it didn't give him a huge ego boost.

“Mm. I don't know. Maybe make it my home screen.” - you

“I don't know about that… maybe keep that pic in the hidden album.” - Joe chuckled

We continued talking for a few minutes before it eventually went silent. I was in a daze, staring at Joe and admiring his perfect face before a thought popped into my head.

“What’d you need to grab from in here?” - you

“Nothing. I brought you in here for a tour with hopefulness for a happy ending.” - Joe

“Joseph Lee!” - you giggled

Joe just laughed with me, wrapping his arms around my waist and rocking back and forth between his feet. His head was on my shoulder, his adorable laugh going right into my ear.

“I love you.” - you grinned

“I love you too. More than you can fathom.” - Joe

Authors note: I SPENT THIRTY MINUTES HAVING FUN ON THE PORSCHE WEBSITE.

Requests;

[littlelionwriting]

Mordecai Headcanons

Here is some Mordecai Heller headcanons that I had floating around in my brain and I hope everyone enjoys!

Is not good at recognizing feelings.

He does recognize that he enjoys your company and will go out of his way to spend time with you.

Was caught talking about you a tad too much when someone asked him if he had a crush on you (Mordecai.exe has stopped working)

Would absolutely deny such an accusation but not because he didn't love you, no he denies it cause the word 'crush' seems to juvenile for how he feels about you.

Would avoid you for the next couple days while he worked through his feelings and came to the conclusion that he wanted a relationship with you.

He isn't good at romance or doing flashy things, so instead, he shows up at your apartment with some flowers.

He tells you about how much he enjoys your company and that he would like to have a relationship with you.

"Please accept these flowers and excuse my recent behavior. If it is amenable, I would like to continue our outings and... if you would agree, make our relationship official."

Once you're in a relationship Mordecai is very protective of you. He knows the bad things that can happen, and he will protect you at all costs.

Please let him clean. He has very high standards and he recognizes that they are difficult for other people. As long as you clean up after yourself, he will be happy.

Loves cooking for you and he's not half bad at it. He enjoys seeing the look on your face when he makes you something you enjoy.

When in public he will often kiss the back of your hand but almost all other PDA is off the table. He is a very private person.

Now when you are in private, he can't keep his hands off you. He's hugging you, holding you close, kissing you, he just doesn't want to keep his hand off you.

His favorite way to kiss you is quick, unexpected kisses when you’re distracted.

Sleeping together for the first time is an experiment, he hasn't shared a bed with anyone in a long time, but he likes having you close.

He sleeps like a board with the occasional twitch of his tail or whiskers, you curled up next to him and nuzzled into his side and his arm around you.

He almost always wakes up before you, choosing to watch you sleep before slipping out of bed and making breakfast for you both.

He asks you to marry him one evening when you’re just sitting at home on the couch together, pulling out a ring from his vest pocket and offering it to you.

His love language is acts of service and spending time together.

Please don't make him have a huge wedding, he will if you really want to, but his nerves will be shot.

Mordecai does not want children. They are noisy and messy, plus he can't see himself as a good father.

NSFW

Is big into aftercare, he already has water ready for you and will offer you a bath or shower while he changes the sheets.

He will not admit it, but he enjoys coming on your chest and stomach. It satisfies the need of his to mark you as his.

He prefers positions where he can see your face and looking into your eyes. It's so intimate for him.

He doesn't feel the need to masturbate by himself, preferring to have sex with you or mutual masturbation.

Will never say yes to public sex, he could not handle the horror of being caught.

He can go a few rounds but prefers slow, sensual love making to a quickie any day. Quickies just don't have any appeal to him.

Mordecai watches you sleep on the freshly made bed, your chest slowly rising with each breath. He enjoys how the moonlight spills through the blinds on the window and illuminates your face. He lets a smile cross his face before leaning down and planting a kiss on your lips. He would not trade this for anything.

[f4nd0m-fun]

So in a lot of these monster hunting fantasy webcomics, you have these things called monster cores. Imagine, if you will, an AU where the Justice League has always been in a world like this. Maybe an alternate earth, maybe the aliens are from different planes instead of planets, maybe you've got magic as the primary force and yet there's some who still manage to stick almost entirely to tech/magitech (like Bruce). These cores are essentially batteries, and the more powerful the monster the more energy you can draw. Also, I love the idea that, if you put it together right, you can technically recharge it.

Enter, the Phamily. Either they are from this world and the Fentons are monster hunters trying to find the origin place of the monsters, or this isn't their original world and they're trying to open a portal home.

Danny, Ellie, Dan, and Vlad if he's there, have cores. These can be considered batteries just looking at the way ectoplasm is used (imagine how much more potent the cores would be than the globs). Jazz, the parents, and Danny's friends if they're there too are liminal. This could mean that magic considers them part monster despite no cores, or maybe they're considered akin to warlocks or sorcerers, looked down upon but not actively hunted or something. Although the presence of the half monster kids and what seems to be a half monster dad... (yes this is probably a family breakfast ship, sue me if you dare) well, Vlad is gonna be determined to fight off the rumors with whatever he's got, there's no need for his darling Maddie to get worked up about idiots, aside from him and Jack of course. (I also love Vlad x Connie so this could either be Vlad is just an uncle or we get Connie in and call it Family Party or something - Party cause alcohol?)

Also not entirely sure on how I'm writing Bruce and Dick here, I want them to be able to access magic in some way, but sensing magic might be more of an Oracle/Barbara thing, I'm not sure, but also they can't do anything big or flashy with it, it's more tiny stuff which is why they rely on magitech. Also the idea that even if people can sense magic, usually they ignore changes aside from moving away from it if necessary cause usually it means a bunch of monsters are coming through a breach. Honestly, not sure how to run this but, eh.

The below segment is written with Native!JL and Isekai!DP in mind.

=====||=====||=====||======||=====||=====||=====

Bruce had been tinkering with his latest animaga, a monster core whose energy had been threaded through one if his favorite inventions, intended to allow him and his ward flight with the use of monster wings.

"B!"

He tensed but refuses to startle as his ward all but jumped on top of him. "Yes Dick?"

"The magic feels weird!"

Bruce paused, setting his tools down. He knew as a half elf, Richard was sensitive to magic, but wasn't nearly as strong with it as most full elves.

Of course, Bruce had always been considered... disabled in that regard, a full elf who could only feel the energy close to him, though it wasn't public knowledge that he knew of. "That's good to know, Chum, why don't you meditate on it and I'll investigate tonight?"

His ward seemed to understand the intent to leave him behind and started to protest.

"Chum, I was going out alone before you showed up, if the magic really has changed, it'll be safer for me to go out and use the radar."

Dick whined but didn't protest again.

Bruce hoped he wouldn't sneak out this time.

As night began to fall, a family of 9 was gutting a strange metallic ship. Well, the three elder ones were, while the younger ones worked together to scout out the area.

Bruce had just arrived to the location, but chose not to interfere just yet. Batman was the embodiment of night to many, a fearsome predator to others, and some even thought he was a monster himself. Reconnaissance was his strength, as was stealth.

"I don't know, Jazz, the energy here is weird. Muggy almost." His form gave off a soft glow, not unlike that of the whisps, though much larger in body.

The girl with red hair, Jazz he presumed, did not appear impressed. "Like you're the expert on energy. Maybe you should ask Sam when we get back to Mom and dad."

"And Vlad."

"Don't remind me."

The glowing one shuddered. "I know him and our parents have been buddy buddy again but why did he take you find along?"

"Because you're still in training, Daniel."

Both children shrieked.

"I see your core has accepted me into your Fraid."

Bruce froze a bit. Core? Thier energy was certainly strange but not entirely monstrous, hence his inactivity, but the presence of a core presented issues.

"Whatever, Fruitloop. Go back to camp."

"I don't think I will, you're being watched and I can't have my son or daughter being in harm's way."

"Give it a rest, Frootloop, we're not your kids." Despite their attitude, something about their reaction and stance suggested they were worried about being watched as well.

Bruce wondered how they knew about him, perhaps he should have asked Lucius for help with a dampening field to hide the energy of the animaga?

"Don't bother flying away, you'll be surrounded before you can think." Vlad placed a hand on Danny's shoulder.

Before Bruce could react, there was a flash of light that all but burned onto his retinas, but the light was all wrong, a deep black instead of a glowing hue. By the time he was back to his senses, Vlad was gone, and in his place was another strange Whisp. Batman didn't have to turn around to find there were identical ones behind him. Clearly, this was an opponent not to be underestimated.

[mysadcorner]

I just found your blog and I love it SO MUCH! And I was wondering if I could PLEASE request Bale?? Bruce wayne and Jason Todd Dating Rich reader hcs??

Bruce Wayne/Jason Todd x Rich!Reader Headcanons

-Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons and read request rules -

Masterlist Navigation

Bruce Wayne

Bruce would probably find it easier to be with someone who grew up in a similar way he did, except from the trauma he faced. He doesn’t mind how much money you have because he’s going to want to spoil you regardless and doesn't see your financial status as a cause for concern unless he suspects any shady business.

If the two of you have a pretty similar lifestyle in terms of finances then he isn't going to need to introduce you to new things life galas or the way he handles business during the day. It may also help you be more understanding of the minimal time he has to spend with you privately due to already having witnessed the amount of time and effort it takes for someone in Bruce's position to keep things running smoothly in their businesses but also while ensuring their own privacy.

Being from a wealthy and well known family, there is definitely going to be a lot of publicity surrounding the two of you so being followed by reporters and anyone working for any tabloid newspapers and magazines will be expected when you're spotted in public. Bruce would greatly appreciate it if you kept things private, if you went and told them a lot about him or actively looked for the publicity then Bruce wouldn't keep the relationship going for any trouble and leaked privacy that might come from it.

Bruce prefers the meaningless but highly meaningful moments he has with you, such as quiet dinners together or getting ready for bed (more like the early hours of the morning once he comes back and is able to rest for a short while). He doesn't find any genuine joy from doing anything flashy or going out of his way to do things that are "impressive" if you aren't going to enjoy the simple and quite tired side of him. Anything he does that is flashy is essentially just for show and to keep up the persona he's built.

Regardless of this, Bruce is still going to spoil you quite a bit, but he would just do it in more subtle ways, or if he does doe something extravagant he would prefer to keep himself humble and quiet (leaving his big public shows just for any publicity he finds to be necessary or expected of him). You'll usually find he'll refuse you from giving any presents back and may even sneak things into your collection of clothes or jewellery rather than presenting to you outright if you start getting sick of his constant apology presents (apologies for being busy and missing dates, or having to cancel plans last minute).

Jason Todd

Jason might be slightly put off at first when he finds out that you're rich. He doesn't want to be responsible for getting someone who may have been sheltered for a lot of your life into danger (if that were the case) and he also hasn't had many good experiences with other people outside of the family who are accustomed to having a lot of money. As long as you're humble about your wealth and don't make it the focus of your life and personality then he should get along fine with it.

In no way would Jason want to become public, or at least known for dating someone who comes from a well known family; he values his privacy more than enough to keep himself distanced from Bruce in public already, he doesn't need things to backfire by being photographed with you. If the two of you are going to date, then he's going to keep it incredibly private and keep things quiet until he's literally unable to continue doing so.

Jason will actively avoid all tabloids and reporters like they were the plague, and in no way can you convince him to behave any differently. No matter how happy he is with you in private, other than the people who know you both extremely well there will be no record of him being near you at all. Not only for privacy reasons, but to also keep his tracks covered and to keep you out of danger in the long run.

He will be more than happy to take you out on dates in places he has fully control over though, and will make sure neither of you are bothered in these places giving you both complete privacy. He just needs to be in control of the situation, if he's able to ensure things go to plan and aren't interrupted by anyone trying to find out who you're with or taking photos of him when they aren't supposed to then all will go smoothly.

Just because Jason doesn't like showing off with money doesn't mean he won't spoil you. He'll literally go out of his way to get you anything you ever want, even if you're left confused where he gets the money from (because it's definitely not happily from Bruce) but he won't let you get concerned about any of that. He'll essentially ensure you keep living the rich life you're used to as he continues to live on cheap take out and hiding his night life from you for as long as possible. He can clearly afford it though, just look at all the gear he constantly has.

[forestshadow-wolf]

GhostSoap famous gambler husbands AU

Ghost who will clear an entire casino once, usually over the course of 3-4 days or up to a week, before leaving and never returning. Never goes to the same house twice. All house masters know of him. Well practically everyone knows of him, he's a legend at the top of the ranks, and if you meet him you only meet him once. And oddly enough he never seems to be far behind nation famous gambler Soap...

Soap who will clean out table after table of a few houses for weeks before he moves on. He rotates houses every few weeks, house masters know him well, he draws in many challengers, business booms for house masters. So he ends up winning just as much as he brings in (he has a public schedule on his socials (to the public Ghost is saop's bodyguard; dresses drastically different and with a different mask when gambling, as opposed to when he's with soap))

The Ghost is just as elusive as his name suggests. He has no socials, speaks to almost nobody except head of table and house master(s), and those he does speak to gets no more that a few words of unimportant forgettable information. While it's said that The Ghost never returns its a lie, he just doesn't return until after soap has started a new cycle of visits for the season. And he never makes himself known, caught only by wispers in the crowd until it reaches the house master.

Soap on the other hand has just about every social media platform you could think of (the big ones anyway) twitter, instagram, tumblr, reddit, ect. (No facebook but there is a page dedicated to him) He's active too. Keeps his location updated to that week's casino(s). Pictures of what he did that weekend, his current hyper fixation, what show or movie he's currently obsessed with. He shares gambling tips for people just starting, but nothing to give away his secrets. The public knows that he has a husband (it's kinda hard to miss the flashy gold ring when he tries to get it in every photo of him) but don't know who it is. They do know that he has a heart of gold and enthusiastically protects his wishes to remain anonymous. Sometimes even going as far as attacking newer fans who try to reveal that information, Soap has had to remind people to be nice to eachother.

It's honestly a scam, they laugh about it at night while in bed sometimes. They think it's a miracle that nobody's caught on yet, or if they have that they haven't leaked it.

Despite having so many riches they live a modest life. Sure it's more than most, a house, food, money to have a much fun as they could possibly want, and a sizable savings. But they do donate a good portion of their winnings, try to help people in need, don't spend on overly frivolous things (excluding their gambling attire because appearances matter in that kind of setting)

John and Simon Riley-Mactavish work in a small, locally known bar, The 1-4-1, co-owned by John Price and his adopted son Kyle Garrick, sat in the middle block of a chain of casinos. It's frequented by solem casino go-ers after a long night of misfortunes or celebrating parties of extreme luck.

Simon Riley-Mactavish works as The 1-4-1's seasoned bartender making drinks, taking orders, charming the excitable patrons eager enough to miss or ignore the silver band that sits politely on his finger. When he sees someone getting harrassed he's quick to ask on a napkin if they'd like an angel shot (with lemon for take them to the back, lime if they need an escort to their car/uber, or straight if it's an emergency and needs immediate intervention). He's also a petty bitch so if it's not an emergency he'll order the harasser the most disgusting drink he can make, on the house.

John Riley-Mactavish is security of The 1-4-1, it's honest work. He's great at de-escalating situations, corrallin the too roudy. He's who is called when an angel shot is ordered. Luckily it's not too often. Usually is using his charm to finesse and guide the too handsy and drunk out of the bar and on their way home. All that being said... he has no tolerance for disrespect and hate, and it's a damned good thing price doesn't mind a little chaos or he'd have been kicked out already. He's got a watchful eye, intentional misuse of pronouns in a malicious way, racist, misogynistic, or homophobic comments is an immediate out. And he's none too gentle when he does it. Aside from the not infrequent need to remove someone he does enjoy his job, most people are respectful, he finds good conversations, gets to hand out at the bar with Simon. Price lets his go where he wants as long as he does his job well, and he does.

[milogreer]

as a follow up of sorts to this post, here are my thoughts about milo and valentine's day brought on by that fucking patreon poll (said with love):

so. milo. mister "wearing normal socks with dress shoes is a crime against nature" greer. CONSTANTLY talking about how they're dressing up to go out and paint the town red. he likes color in his wardrobe. he likes to be flashy, he likes to look good. he makes damn sure they're gonna be the center of attention wherever they go.

milo's doing big things for vday bc he loves sweetheart and wants to show it and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks. if he wants to put hands on sweetheart in public, he's going to. i'm honestly surprised they're not as exhibitionist-leaning as gavin and FL - they feel like they should have hands on thighs under tables to me but i'm not their god so idk. moving on.

he's making sweetheart a fancy breakfast before work that morning with a little flower in a vase. he's got the perfect balance of smooth and dirty talk that aaalmost makes sweetheart stay home. maybe he has flowers sent to their office. idk what their office life is like but it's possible. maybe it's chocolates or a stuffed animal with heartfelt little letter. maybe it's big ass balloons that he knows will make sweetheart roll their eyes even though they love it.

he's got reservations at the most exclusive place in dahlia that he had to place like a year in advance. he's buying sweetheart a little corsage to wear to the dinner (he has a matching one, obviously, because their outfits have to match in some way). he's recruited angel and babe to put together the bedroom (based on his very specific plan) while they're out so when they get home there's rose petals and scented candles and mood lighting. etc.

probably makes sweetheart wear a blindfold before they go back into the house and it goes something like this:

“You know I don’t like surprises.” “It’s not a surprise, technically. More like…” Milo clicks his tongue, searching for the right words to assuage their exasperation before it has a real chance to grow. “Makin’ good on somethin’ we talked about before.” They raise a skeptical eyebrow. “Then what is the blindfold for?” “Consider it part of the fun.”

anyways. vday is an EVENT for milo. he likes the grand gestures and showing off the fact that they're both hot as hell and he knows it (and he wants SH to know it too). especially as their relationship goes on. i imagine he was a little nervous for that first one but with every year that passes he's trying to top last year's and sweetheart's like it really doesn't need to be such a fuss! but he's like no it REALLY does because i love you and i never get to properly pamper you 'cause you're always at that DAMN JOB- ykwim?? i can see it. i know them. milo is a valentine's day expert in all the extravagant ways. erik don't prove me wrong on this one please <3

[the-axe-and-flail]

A Love Letter to the Future, My Dear

Some modern Hashira headcanons that have been banging around my head for a while:

WARNINGS- none

Tags- SFW, all hashira, future AU

Kyojuro-

• I feel like he's got a little food blog on the side. Nothing super flashy or anything, just him talking about his favorite places to eat and giving recommendations for his most loved meals/bites.

• He's a good outdoorsy person. Hiking 10 miles into the mountains just to set up camp for 2 days and then hike back? Heck yes sign him up! Kayaking in whitewater conditions? He's there. Just don't ask him to fish, he'd much rather build the most intricate firepit/fuel formation he learned in Scouts.

• Definitely an "Early to bed, early to rise" kinda guy. His version of 'sleeping in' is 7 a.m. at the latest. He's also the type to brush his teeth first thing in the morning, before he even eats breakfast. He just hates the feel of fuzzy or grimy teeth and can't stand to wait any longer.

Shinobu-

• Walking pharmacy. She'll be the one to pull a first aid kit or a little travel pill bottle/keeper out of nowhere the moment someone even mentions being in pain or uncomfortable. She's also the one to remind her friends that sites like WebMD can't be used to diagnosis and to stop freaking themselves out by reading it. Always has chapstick or gum/mints when you need them.

• A bit of a prankster. She's the one that will discreetly hide someone's shoe, or replace the hand soap with mustard. Nothing malicious for the most part, but she'll ramp up the intensity if it's someone she dislikes/hates. One time she even made a very convincing parking ticket to put on a car that was blocking her into her parking spot.

• She's an unaware trendsetter. She's not out there picking clothes or styles because they're fashionable, she's just wearing whatever she feels comfortable in that makes her happy. Her cool, bold personality just makes people want to emulate, including her own personal style.

Gyomei-

• Is a huge fan of radio dramas. He listens to a lot of drama podcasts, but nothing quite beats the old shows like "The Lone Ranger". He has a small collection of vintage radios as well that he likes to use when he's in the mood for a full, authentic experience. He's also a big vinyl collector and swears the music sounds 100× better than digital.

• Very musically inclined. He can play several instruments, mostly self-taught, and the vast majority of his repertoire is by ear. He plays the piano, and Shakuhachi most notably, but also can play the flute, tenor sax, oboe, and trumpet. He also frequents concerts and orchestras, and loves opera, with Giulio Cesare being his absolute favorite. He enjoys the pacing and delicate balance of plot and characters.

• Due to his size, he's not exactly comfortable on most public transit spaces. If he's getting home late (past rush hour) he's more likely to take it, but most the time he'd prefer to just walk. This means he knows the city like the back of his hand, and has all the deets on shops/restaurants/spaces that are opening or closing. This also makes him a regular face, so lots of shop and eatery owners and staff know him really well and love to give him freebies when they can.

Giyuu-

• Knows all the best park trails in the city. He likes to spend a lot of time at parks, either bird watching or even people watching. Something about just being in nature really soothes his soul, but he's not big into camping at all. He likes nature, but he also likes not sleeping on the ground.

• Has a very strong (but internal) opinion on showers vs. baths. He has a whole custom shower in his apt/home that has the giant rain pan over the entire thing, with two spray nozzles that have LED RGB lighting. He even can hook it up to music so the colours change with the beat. Takes two showers a day (morning/night) and considers it his favorite place in his home.

• Falls asleep every night to either ocean or rain sounds. His bedtime routine is very detailed, and he tries his hardest to never miss a step. He likes to keep his bedroom on the chilly side so he can wrap himself in 2 or 3 blankets and become the blanket cocoon. Has trouble sleeping if it's not totally 100% pitch black, so he also has a little eye mask to help shade him from the sun.

Tengen-

• The human embodiment of "the night life". Has a standing reservation at many of the elite clubs in the city and enjoys just living in the moment at them. Something about the colourful lights and deep, rhythmic music really makes him feel alive. Excellent dancing skills also just make him a sight to behold when he's in his element.

• Has an opinion on everything, even the stupid stuff. Pineapple on pizza? He has a strongly worded monologue for that. Cats or dogs? He could write a whole book series. Don't even get him started on deeper topics like politics or social standards because no one has the time to listen to that tirade. His social medias are just 80% photos of him and 20% his hot takes.

• Very fashionable, to no one's surprise. He has a favorite tailor that is used to all his wild requests, and considers himself to be the pinnacle of "fashion forward". Due to his very opinionated nature, he has a fashion blog that he updates religiously. Spends gobs of money to make sure he's always attending Fashion Week, and always stays ahead of the curve.

Mitsuri-

• Has her own pet sitting gig that she does to save up money for a new place. She's so good with the animals that it's easy for her to find work, and even has a hefty waiting list for clientele. Definitely pet CPR certified. Knows the name of every single pet she's ever pet-sat and will go apeshit with joy when she sees one of them out and about with their owners. Remembers their birthdays and everything.

• During a really gloomy winter a few years back, she decided to take up baking and got hooked. She started out simple with cookies and cakes but quickly progressed to making her own sourdough starters and pie crust by hand. Sometimes, she gets a bit carried away and will bake way too much, so she makes sure to make plates for her neighbors and drops them off.

• Fancies herself a crafter, but is a little too adhd about it. She'll hyper fixate on buying all the cool shiny supplies she needs for X craft, but once they all arrive, she gets a bit overwhelmed and ends up only using them 3 or 4 times before her sights get set on a new craft/project. Her craft room is a mix between heavily organized and absolute chaos. And yes, there is glitter everywhere

Sanemi-

• To no one's surprise- a big fan of tattoos/body mods. Has his left ear pierced I a couple places, and has one full tattoo sleeve, and working on another. He takes great pride in how he's incorporated some of his scars into the artwork, and has a fantastic relationship with his artist. At one point he considered a lip piercing until he realized how it could impact his teeth.

•Has a standing appointment every Wednesday to take his mom out to lunch. Sometimes Genya or one of his other siblings will tag along, but typically, it's just the two. She enjoys getting to see the updates on his tats, and hear about how his schooling is going. He always lets her pick the restaurant, so they've tried a lot of new foods.

• He would have the smallest, fluffiest little dog, as his apartment wouldn't allow anything bigger (not that it mattered, he likes the small dogs best of all). He takes it with him on his motorcycle rides, and even has a little safety helmet, vest, and goggles combo for it. Despite Sanemi not being a ray of sunshine, his little dog is extra friendly and often gets him into unintended social situations.

Obanai-

• Was 100% a zoobooks kid, who grew into a very animal knowledgeable adult. Enjoys spending time at the zoo (always accredited with the highest care standards, of course), taking photos of the animals with his ridiculously expensive camera and massive telephoto lenses. Has had many of his photos win awards, and has even been credited in natgeo a few times.

• Hates traveling, but is very good at it. He's the guy with all the carry on items in perfectly portioned bottles, all in sectioned ziplocs. Never forgets to bring the neck pillow or charge the headphones, and has his home airport down to a science so he never arrives too early or too late. Also knows where the best and cheapest food is.

• Is incredibly sensitive to temperature changes. Obanai is the guy who always wears layers so he can either shed or don them. It could be middle of summer and he'll still always carry around a light jacket, zip hoodie, or scarf, just in case they become necessary. He keeps his home a constant 75° year round, and anyone who dares to touch his thermostat will suffer the curse.

Muichiro-

• He and his twin brother Yuichiro have a college podcast about all the goings-on at Uni. Sometimes they'll play a song from a local uni student's EP, other times they'll discuss some faculty drama, or maybe even financial advice for anyone applying or attending. It originally started out as just for their friend group, but the back and forth, good cop-bad cop stylings of their banter made them an overnight sensation.

• Stays up until 4 am, wakes up at 12pm. The most night owl of all night owls, he finds it more peaceful to study in the early hours when everyone is sleeping and social media is relatively quiet. Has a little bit of adhd and a caffeine addiction that definitely play a part in that as well. Is useless at group projects simply because of his schedule, but he does as much as he can on his own, and always buys snacks to make up for it.

• Reality TV connoisseur. He doesn't like them, per-say, it's just that the drama is so terribly entertaining. He enjoys trying to key into who is the worst/most toxic person on the show in the first episode, and how they're going to completely ruin everyone's life by the end. He particularly enjoys the survival variety, and loves picking apart where they went wrong.

[stelladoesstuff]

I have an Ace Attorney oneshot request, though you don't have to do it if you don't want to. It's basically just Apollo realising he has feelings for Klavier and, in a panic, asking Phoenix on how to ask someone out because, HEY, he's dating the chief prosecutor! He probably knows something about romance! Turns out, Phoenix isn't dating Edgeworth and is simply pinning/has a crush, and then Phoenix asks why he's asking for romance advice because he just assumed Klavier and Apollo were already dating like how Apollo thought Phoenix and Edgeworth were dating. This is kinda long, I know, I just want some fluffy Klapollo and Wrightworth shenanigans

I love this prompt so much. Just saying. The idea of both Apollo and Phoenix being so oblivious to their own situations is hilarious.

Anywho, hope you enjoy! :D

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Word Count: 3150

~ ao3 link ~

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Apollo sat on the couch in the Wright Anything Agency, spinning a pencil between his fingers. He was working on a pretty straightforward case, files laying strewn across the table, but every time he tried to pick up a file he just couldn’t seem to focus on it, mind wandering to a certain prosecutor he knew he’d be facing in the trial. He wasn’t even sure why Klavier had decided to take this case, all of the evidence was pretty obviously leaning in Apollo’s favor, but he couldn’t complain. Not when it meant he’d get to trade banter with the man, subtle smirks across the courtroom, Klavier’s many rings catching the light when he objects-

He groaned, hiding his face in his hands as if he could shut out the imagery. This was so stupid, he just needed to work on the case! Why couldn’t he focus?

Well, he knew why. Didn’t make it any less frustrating.

Gavin was… charming, to say the least. He would strut around crime scenes, get way too invasive of people’s personal space, make flashy flirtatious comments, and just be an all around arrogant jerk. At least, that’s what Apollo’s initial impression of the man had been. How could it not have been when, in Ema’s words, Klavier fit the definition of a “glimmerous fop?”

And yet, there was more to him than that.

Klavier was dramatic to a fault, always putting on a show. He could be arrogant, but that was usually just an act he put on to appease fans. Same with the too-wide smiles and overly confident flirting. All of those things built up the general public’s vision of ‘Klavier Gavin, Rockstar Prosecutor,’ but they weren’t who Klavier really was.

Ever since the Misham Trial, Apollo had managed to start seeing through those walls. Who he found beneath them was… well, Klavier.

Klavier, who could nerd-out about different types of guitars and their pros and cons for hours. Klavier, who stumbled over his words and would accidentally slip into full-German when he got tired or was caught off guard. Klavier, who snorted when he laughed and got embarrassed about it afterwards. Klavier, who preferred small, local restaurants to big fancy ones despite absolutely having the money to afford those luxuries.

Klavier, who’d slid his way into Apollo’s heart without him even noticing.

Apollo sighed, leaning back against the couch and staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t getting anywhere like this. He hadn’t even noticed it had gotten this bad until the night before, laying in bed, flashes of Klavier’s laugh playing over and over in his head like a broken record. All he had been able to do was lay there in the dark as his entire world turned upside down. And worse, he couldn’t even talk to anyone about it!

Trucy would tease him relentlessly if she found out. She already joked about him and Klavier going on dates, he didn’t need to add more fuel to that fire before he was ready. Clay came to mind, but he was away at the space center until further notice, and Apollo wasn’t sure he could take the teasing from that side either. And there was no way he was telling Ema about this–he’d never live it down.

Well, that was it. His entire friend circle was out, so there was nothing left to do but sit and wallow in his own self-pity-

“Apollo?” He jolted upright, so startled he almost broke the pencil he was still aimlessly spinning around. Nobody else was supposed to be in the office, Trucy had gone off to practice magic tricks and Mr. Wright had gone out to lunch with Mr. Edgeworth-

And yet there Mr. Wright stood, having just walked into the office, a humored expression on his face at Apollo’s reaction. He must have just gotten back from their lunch date… wait. Wait, that was it! Of course, why hadn’t he thought of it sooner?!

“M-Mr. Wright!” Apollo basically screamed, then winced at the sound of his own voice. Wright didn’t seem all that phased, used to the assault on his ears by now.

“Lost in thought there, kid?” Wright chuckled, tossing his briefcase haphazardly across the room. Apollo was too distracted to make a comment about it, he had priorities. Wright walked over and slumped down onto the opposite couch, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “Case got ya stuck? Want me to take a look?”

“Yes- wait, I mean no, the case is insultingly simple, but yes!” Apollo stammered out, his poor boss simply raising an eyebrow. “Yes, meaning I was lost in thought, not about the case though. But I think you can still help?”

“Ah, you’re looking for some good ol’ Phoenix Wright wisdom then.” Phoenix leaned back, holding a hand up to make a finger-gun motion. “Alright, kid. Shoot me.”

“H-huh?” Apollo paused, and Phoenix chuckled.

“Figure of speech, Apollo.” Apollo blinked, and Phoenix sighed. “Forget it. What’s on your mind?” Apollo shook his head, taking a breath before opening and closing his mouth, trying to figure out the best way to word this. 

“Well, uh…” Holy Mother, this was awkward. He rubbed at his bracelet, furrowing his brow. “So, uh, I’m gay?” There was a moment of silence, Apollo screaming internally because that was not what he’d meant to say why the fuck did he say that, before Phoenix burst out laughing.

“Yeah, that was pretty obvious.” Apollo stammered in response, flushing.

“L-look, that’s not the point, ok?” It took a moment for his boss to stop laughing at him, but when he did, Apollo continued. “Thing is, I… I like this guy. And I don’t know how to go about handling that because he’s a prosecutor and a really cool guy and I’m me and I don’t wanna mess up our friendship but also I can’t stop thinking about him and then I thought ‘hey, Mr. Wright is married to Mr. Edgeworth who’s also a prosecutor’ and so I thought you might be able to give me some advice because I have no idea what I’m doing?” The entire thing came out as a jumble of words, and probably wouldn’t have made any sense to anyone except for Phoenix Wright, who was used to deciphering Trucy.

Even so, Phoenix looked baffled. Apollo sighed, opening his mouth to repeat himself in a more understandable manner, when Phoenix cut in.

“Hold on, just- ok, wait. Slow down.” Wright leaned forward again, putting a hand to his head like he suddenly had a headache from the influx in information Apollo had just spat at him. “I’m gonna go in order here, ok?”

Apollo clamped his mouth shut and nodded.

“Ok. Number one: This ‘guy’ you’re talking about. It’s the Gavin kid, right?” Apollo felt his heart stutter for a moment, considering playing dumb, before he remembered his boss literally had a lie-detecting rock. Silently, he nodded again. “Ok. Ok. Follow up question, then… you two aren’t already dating?”

Apollo blinked. Then blinked again. Then he finally processed what had been said.

“WHAT??” He shouted, loud enough this time for Wright to flinch back, covering his ears. “Wha- what do you- ALREADY DATING???”

“Ok! Ok! Calm down.” Phoenix shouted back, putting his hands up in a placating motion one might use to calm down a puppy. Apollo tried to interject again, but Phoenix beat him to it. “To be fair, you thought me and Edgeworth were dating, so we’re even.”

Apollo felt like his eyes were going to shoot out of his head. Scratch that, like his entire brain was going to be shot out like a cannonball and sink to the bottom of the ocean.

“YOU’RE NOT-”

“Volume, Apollo, volume!” Apollo clamped his mouth shut again, letting his eyes do the screaming for him. Phoenix met his gaze for a moment before letting out a sound that sounded like a mix between a sigh and a laugh. “Ok, this is gonna take a while. Coffee?”

“I- you-”

“Coffee it is!”

~~~

By the time Wright returned with coffee, which took much longer than it should have since the coffee machine was literally in his office, Apollo had partially calmed down. Only partially.

“So, let’s start this the easy way.” Phoenix said, seeming far too chill about all of this, though Apollo could spot about three different ways he’d been fidgeting in the past five seconds. On a normal day it was usually only two. “What are your questions?”

“You aren’t dating Mr. Edgeworth?”

“No, I’m not.”

“...you’re both aware of this?”

“Yes, we are.” Phoenix, despite his obvious confusion, chuckled at that one. Apollo spared a glance at his bracelet, which sat unmoving on his wrist. Not a lie. Damn. Well, there went that logic. He paused for a moment, thinking, before looking up at his boss with a dead-serious expression.

“And you have no intention of ever dating?” His boss froze, and Apollo smirked. Gottem. Phoenix opened his mouth to reply, likely to deny the implications, but his eyes wandered to Apollo’s bracelet and he stopped. After a few moments, he sighed, a defeated look crossing his face.

“You can’t say anything about it, you’re pining for a prosecutor too.” Apollo gawked, flushing, as a small smirk grew on Phoenix’s face.

“Those are two entirely different scenarios!” He insisted, voice raising in pitch.

“Really? How, exactly? Because how I see it-”

“Well, for one, I’ve only known Klavier for a few months max. You’ve known Mr. Edgeworth for decades. You were literally childhood friends, like c’mon! Sure, you probably didn’t like him like that until you two were adults, but that’s still a long time.” He expected a refute, but Wright wouldn’t even meet his gaze after that last sentence, chuckling awkwardly.

“Well, you see…” Apollo blinked. Then blinked again.

“No.”

“...yeah.”

“Mr. Wright, no.” Apollo groaned, torn between laughing at his boss’s expense and feeling bad for him. “Since you were children?? What grade did you even meet in?!”

“...fourth grade. We were nine. He defended me in class after someone accused me of stealing his lunch money because I was missing in P.E.” Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck, an embarrassed smile playing on his lips. “We uh… we hadn’t talked before that.”

“Are you telling me this was love at first sight in the fourth grade??” Apollo screamed.

“Please, Trucy told me how your face looked when you met Gavin for the first time. ‘Lovesick puppy’ is how she described it, I believe. You can’t tell me you don’t believe in love at first sight, kid.”

“I never said I didn’t, but that was like, six months ago, tops! And I’m trying to figure out how to act on it! Meanwhile you two are sitting there acting like a married couple when you’re actually just a pining hooligan!” Apollo’s words caught up to him, and he smacked a hand over his mouth. He’d just said that. To his boss. Oh, he was so fired.

Or he would be, if this wasn’t Phoenix fucking Wright.

“...acting like a married couple?” Phoenix echoed, raising an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You mean it isn’t on purpose?” Apollo started, eyes wide, as Phoenix just stared back at him, dumbfounded, and shrugged. “You two have literally discussed the economic benefits of marriage, at length, numerous times.”

“Well, yeah, because Edgeworth is interested in that! If that’s your entire defense-”

“Oh, I’m not done.” He smirked, leaning back and crossing his arms. “He’s at every single one of Trucy’s performances despite mentioning how busy his schedule is whenever he needs to make plans. You’ve walked in here wearing magenta turtleneck sweaters that absolutely are not yours. You both spend your lunch breaks together at least twice a week, hell, you just came back from visiting him! Not to mention the sickening longing in both of your eyes whenever you’re within like, a mile of each other. Like seriously, if Mr. Edgeworth thinks he’s being subtle when he slides the phrase ‘that man’ in every other conversation, I’m not sure how he wins some cases. He literally has a chess board with pieces custom-made to be themed around you two just sitting in his office! Also, just look at him for two seconds when he goes up against you in court! He’s literally staring at you with that look in his eyes-”

“Apollo.” Wright cut in, voice sounding much harsher than before. Apollo immediately shut up, having gotten so lost in the rambling he hadn’t noticed his boss stiffening up.

“...too much?”

“What- oh, no-” Phoenix shook his head, sighing. “It’s just- half of the things your saying aren’t even relevant to what you’re trying to prove.”

“...huh?”

“You’re giving me examples of why you thought me and Edgeworth were in a relationship, right?”

“...well, married, but yeah.”

“Married-” Phoenix choked on the word, but recovered. “-regardless, you keep giving inaccurate examples of Edgeworth’s actions.” Phoenix reached down to take another sip of his coffee, and Apollo furrowed his brow, playing his own words back in his head to try to figure out what Phoenix was talking about. How was any of that inaccurate? He’d only listed off all of the ways they were quite obviously pining for each other, that should be proof enough! He was literally a witness to this, after all-

…unless.

“Mr. Wright…” Apollo started, hesitantly trying to figure out how to ask this in the most respectful way possible so as to not be stuck on toilet duty for the next… forever. “You, uh… you are aware that Mr. Edgeworth quite obviously uh… he very clearly has romantic intent Mr. Wright.”

Wright choked on the coffee he was trying to drink, sending half of it right back into his mug. 

“I-” He was cut off by a coughing fit, catching his breath before continuing. “What, no, that’s just… that’s just Edgeworth, Apollo!”

“...right. Tell me, who else does he always make time for despite his work schedule being so crammed sometimes he should probably have a team of people doing his job? Who else does he offer to replace a broken printer for ‘just because,’ or spend hours consulting on cases despite knowing he’s helping you beat him?” Phoenix went to respond, then blinked. Apollo could see the exact moment when the pieces clicked in his head–the way his eyes widened just slightly, his breath caught, and a slight tremor went through his hands.

“Oh. Shit.” Phoenix said, staring intently at the floor before bursting out in sporadic laughter, startling Apollo. “Wow. Wow, we’re both idiots, then.”

“Yup, you and Mr. Edgeworth-”

“No, no.” Phoenix cut in, still wheezing. “Me and you, Apollo. I mean, yeah, me and Edgeworth have… quite a bit to talk about, it seems, but that wasn’t the meaning of that ‘both.’”

“What-” Apollo began to ask, then it hit him. Immediately, he backtracked. “Oh, oh no, no, Mr. Wright that’s not-”

“You were so gracious as to list off the reasons you thought me and Edgeworth were involved, so how about I return the favor? The Justice and Gavin Chronicles, ey?” Phoenix smirked, and all Apollo could do was sit there, dread building in his stomach.

“You really don’t have to-”

“Ah, yes, but that’s what makes me so generous.” He did a mock-bow while sitting down. It looked stupid. When Apollo’s embarrassed glare didn’t ease up, the smirk fell slightly off of Phoenix’s face, shifting into a softer grin. “Look, bud. You like him, that much is obvious, right?”

No point in denying that one at this point. Apollo confirmed.

“Good. Now, you’re pretty good at putting pieces together, so let me give you the pieces, and you can choose how you wanna see them.” Phoenix leaned forward, looking far less smug about all of this than Apollo had when he’d been listing off examples. It almost made him feel guilty. “You mentioned me and Edgeworth going out to lunch, looking over cases together–you do the same thing with Gavin. Gavin flirts with you every time you step into a room, and sure, he does that a lot with people, but anyone with eyes can see the difference when it’s with you. He just seems more relaxed, and…”

Phoenix pulls a small green rock out of his pocket. Apollo distantly recognizes it as a magatama.

“He isn’t lying when he says stuff like that. Not in the slightest.” He puts the magatama back in his pocket, and instead gestures to Apollo’s bracelet. “I know you know that. Even if it was a joke, you’d be able to pick up on subtle tells, right? Tell me, Apollo, do his comments set off your bracelet?”

Apollo stared down at his wrist, knowing the answer immediately. No, they don’t. He knew because he’d specifically paid attention to it, he’d focused on it, looked for any sign that Gavin was just playing around with him… and he never was. 

Something on Apollo’s face must have revealed his thoughts, because Phoenix shot him a smile before standing up, walking over to the door. It seemed like he was about to walk out-

“Hey!” Phoenix stopped, casting a glance over his shoulder. “Where are you going?”

“Back to the prosecutor’s office.” Phoenix replied, cracking the door open. “I just realized I left something pretty important behind. Figured I’d go find it.”

“You did?” Apollo raised an eyebrow, glancing over to where Phoenix’s briefcase was still haphazardly laying on the floor. “I thought you only brought your briefcase with your case files?”

Phoenix stared at him. Apollo stared back.

Then it clicked.

“Oh.”

“Oh, indeed, Apollo.” Phoenix chuckled, winking. “If Truce asks where I am, let her know-”

“Herr Wright!” Both Apollo and Phoenix froze at the familiar voice. Phoenix slowly opened the door to the agency the rest of the way, revealing the one and only Klavier Gavin standing outside, who then spotted Apollo sitting on the couch. “Herr Forehead! Figured I’d stop in and see how the case investigation was going, exchange notes, ja?” He held up a case file, beaming.

Phoenix sent Apollo a knowing look. Apollo glared back.

“Yup, cool, bye Mr. Wright!” Apollo squeaked, and Phoenix huffed a laugh, patting Klavier on the shoulder before walking out, leaving the two of them alone. Klavier stood in the doorframe, shifting his weight between his legs and spinning one of the rings on his left hand with his thumb.

“So… the case?” Klavier sounded so unsure that Apollo couldn’t help but find it endearing.

Well, if Phoenix could walk out of here with the intention of telling Edgeworth, Apollo wasn’t going to be the coward. Finding it weirdly easy to smile, chest feeling light, Apollo beamed back.

“Shut the door behind you, yeah? I’ve got something I wanna tell you first.”

[final-girl96]

STOLEN HEARTS CHAPTER EIGHT

May 13, 1984

"So, do I need to give you money to go dress shopping?" I looked at dad confused, "what?" I asked. "Prom. Isn't prom coming up this weekend?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. If it is I'm not going so no, you don't need to give me money for a dress." I set my bowl in the sink, washed it and set it in the dish rack. "Nobody's asked you?" He asked, concerned.

"Um…no. Dad, I don't have friends and I don't like any boys. It's not that big of a deal." He nodded his head and looked down. "Okay. It's just…it's a big night. You might look back and regret not going. Maybe Eddie will ask you." I raised my eyebrow and squinted at him. "You hate Eddie. And I don't want to go to prom. Especially with fucking Eddie."

"I don't hate him. I just strongly dislike him. I mean you guys are friends still, right? You still tutor him and what not." I shrugged and walked around the counter. "Okay, that's it! You haven't been yourself since I got home on Sunday night. What happened?" He stopped me from walking any further. "Nothing happened, dad. I need to finish getti g ready for school." He moved in front of me and looked down at me.

"What did Eddie do?" He asked in a dangerously low voice. "Did he…did he try to…" I cut him off by holding my hand up. "No! God no! It's stupid and I shouldn't even be upset about it," I said. He didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue. "He stood me up. He never showed up to pick me up for his gig at the hideout or dinner. Turns out it was because while he was out doing errands before he had to come back to pick me up he met a girl. He met a girl and forgot about me."

"Oh, sweetheart." He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Why don't I take you to school today. I know kids haven't been nice to you. I've gotten calls from the principal about some things teachers have heard and noticed." My eyes widened. "What! So, you have teachers spying on me?"

He shook his head, "no! When we first got here I wasn't sure if you would tell anyone or if anyone would find out who I am. I have been trying to keep a low profile for you! But just in case I asked for the principal to keep an eye out. The last thing I need is for my daughter to be bullied or taken advantage of! To be honest I regret putting you in public school. You're fucking miserable."

"Dad, it's fine, okay? It's not that bad," I said. "There's a girl there who calls you poor. Misty Everton. I know her father Phil. Real fucking douchebag. He used to try and get under my skin all the time. Her mother isn't any better. Stuck up cunt." My mouth dropped open and then I laughed. "Dad!" He shrugged and laughed along. "It's true! So, come on, let me take you to school. Who cares if everyone knows your dad is a famous rock star? This is your last year and you'll never have to see them again!"

"We'll take the new car. How about that?" Dad asked. While he was in California he decided to buy a new car. A red 1984 Ferrari 288 GTO to be exact. The man was flashy and proud to show that he made it when everyone told him he wouldn't. "Sure, dad. Let's wow everyone at Hawkins High." I rolled my eyes and got into the car. I could feel the nervousness and anxiety swirling in my gut.

And as I expected everyone stopped when he pulled up in front of the school. I took a deep breath and watched as everyone started to get closer. People were pointing and talking. I didn't even realize dad had gotten out of the car until my door opened. I got out and he smiled at me.

"You win." I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Have a good day, little viper. I'll pick you up after school." He kissed my forehead and waved to the kids looking at him in shock as he walked back around the car and left. I watched until I couldn't see him anymore before turning around and walking into the school.

I was standing at my locker when someone came up and leaned on the lockers beside mine. "Jax Hexley is your dad?" I looked over to see Billy Hargrove. "Yes," I answered simply. "I thought you looked familiar. Not very many pictures of you in magazines with him but there are a few. I knew you were the only other kid from California in this shitty ass school but damn, princess. You really want to go out with a bam, huh?" He smirked and looked me up and down. "It's not going to happen, Hargrove. You can take me off your list of girls to fuck before graduation."

The day went on with people coming up to me and trying to talk to me. It was all: "oh, my god, your dad's a rockstar?! That's so cool!" And "we should totally go shopping for prom together." Or "Hey baby, how about you let me take you out tonight." I was glad when the end of the day came. I stood at my locker, grabbing anything I needed to take home.

I gasped when a hand holding a black rose appeared in front of me. Then a body was pressed against my back and a chin laid on my shoulder. "Go to prom with me?" I spun around to see Eddie with a shy smile on his face. "What?" I asked. "Prom. You know it's an overrated high school tradition. People dress up and dance then leave and get drunk and have sex in a shitty motel or the back seat of a car at makeout point."

"You want to go to prom?" I asked, turning back around. Again he pressed his chest against my back, chin on my shoulder, and arm around my waist, and held the rose in front of me. "If it's with you, yes. I'm sorry I was a fucking dick and stood you because of some chick I'll never see again," he said. "That rose is black." He chuckled and hummed. "I thought it fit our style a little better than a red one."

"So, what do you say? Give me a second chance. Hell, we don't need to stay the whole night. We can go for an hour and slowly destroy people's nights. Expose some cheaters. Then we can get the fuck out of there before shit really hits the fan. Go grab some burgers and shakes, go to that spot I wanted to take you." I slowly took the rose from his ring clad fingers.

"You're all I can think about lately," he whispered. I felt my heart flutter and cleared my throat. "I'll think about it." I shut my locker and walked down the hall. "Well, don't take too long! It's this Saturday!" A smile slowly made its way onto my face as I walked out of the school and got on the back of the bike my dad decided to pick me up on.

[ahjdaily]

INTERVIEW: Catch Albert Hammond Jr in L.A., Taking Guitar Lessons (GQ)

By Michael Tedder | July 4, 2023

The erstwhile Strokes guitarist talks to GQ about his latest solo album and life after NYC.

For archival purposes, full text is stored below.

Strokes lead guitarist Albert Hammond Jr helped define NYC cool in the ‘00s with his signature three-piece suits—typically accessorized with a cigarette and a “what, me worry?” grin—and guitar leads that were flashy but perfectly synced to his band’s impeccable minimalist songs.

Hammond moved to Los Angeles in 2019 and became a father two years later. (He’s married to restaurateur Justyna Hammond Jr) But he has maintained his unflappable cool even while keeping extremely busy. In 2018, he released his power-pop solo album Francis Trouble, inspired by his twin brother who died before they were born. In 2020, the Strokes released the Grammy-winning, Rick Rubin-produced album The New Abnormal, which proved to be a comeback for the band after close to a decade of relative inactivity. And now he’s returning with the new Melodies on Hiatus, a winning 19-song reflection on mortality that mixes elements of new wave and indie pop while keeping room for the type of just-bombastic-enough soloing he made his name on.

Hammond, who first stepped out on his own with the crisp 2006 album Yours to Keep, has remained prolific ever since, recently expanding into co-writing songs for the likes of Natalie Imbruglia and acting in Damien Chazelle’s Babylon. GQ Zoomed in with Hammond to talk about his new album and what he’s learned in his two decades as a public figure.

GQ: So you've been very prolific in the past few years. As you get older, do you find yourself wanting to make the most of your time?

Albert Hammond Jr: I don't know. I don't feel prolific. I actually feel quite lazy. I think I like getting lost in song. Ideally, I'd really just like to practice guitar and play (for) the Strokes and maybe try to write songs for other people. But I do love music and it's not lost on me, the time I have to explore the instrument.

You feel you are still exploring your instrument?

Yeah, always. I feel close to reaching a point where I'm going to change if I put in the work, I just gotta not procrastinate. I found this really cool guitar teacher, so maybe that'll help me do it. I'm definitely not bored of learning things.

I think some people are virtuosos and that's definitely not me. I think I've done as good as I could with what I know. But I always say, I think if I could do that good with what I know, if that was better I could do even more. But to be honest, to be really great at something, you gotta sacrifice quite a lot. And so it's hard to find that balance because most people who are really great are kind of viewed as dicks because you have to be a little bit of a dick and be a little selfish.

Is taking lessons humbling?

I don't know. I don't walk around thinking about all that I accomplished. If what I have is what people think of being a rock star it feels very different than how I imagined it when I was a kid. So I don't know if I need humbling. I don't really feel like my ego's that big.

The top tennis players have coaches—like, the number one tennis player has a coach, a mental coach, all this stuff. When I'm learning stuff with a teacher, it's just like having mentors in your life. I feel like that's for some reason—frowned upon isn't right. But for some reason, it’s maybe viewed as you didn't figure something out.

You have a song on the album called “Old Man.” Has aging been on your mind?

Time is kind of an equaling factor for everyone. No matter what you feel or say when you're young, eventually you'll get older and look back and be like, Oh, shit. You'll see it from so many different points of view.

As you get older, you realize, especially now, we really live at a time where people love to point fingers at other people and forget how human we are and fallible and the mistakes we make. And in time you can kind of get the ability to see it. You create a lot more room for love and understanding as time goes on, the longer you've been here. So it's more just not having the same judgment I did as when I was younger.

I read an interview with you where you said that The New Abnormal gave The Strokes a new, younger generation of fans, but sometimes when you play older songs, those fans don't recognize them. How does that feel?

Yeah, it was just funny, because you expect Oh, when we rip into this song, it's a crowd favorite. Honestly we could go and just do the new record and then fill in with stuff. We don't play much from the fourth and fifth album and I, when I look at our top 25 [on Spotify], there's actually quite a bit from the fourth and fifth album.

So it's pretty cool to see. I guess for me what's exciting is though there's such great success for the first three [albums], the later three have as much success in [terms of] people wanting to hear certain songs. So we just noticed, if we were to play [New Abnormal cut] “Selfless” right off the bat, or even like a song like “Chances” from Comedown Machine, I think the crowd would erupt more than hearing “Hard to Explain.”

On The New Abnormal, you gave Billy Idol some royalties on the song “Bad Decisions.” Was that out of an overabundance of caution?

Yeah, I guess the world sits in a space now where you deal with it beforehand instead of after. I don't know. It's not something I think about or care about—there's certain things that are gonna have inflections, whether you're trying or not. There's times where there are similar melodies and you've never even heard the song.

It's not the centerpiece of the song for me. So I feel like as long as it's not the centerpiece, it's kind of all right. I see it in comments where people hear songs and, "Oh, this sounds like this." And I don't think they have any idea what they're talking about. Sometimes, they'll be so off.

Did you pay attention to the recent copyright lawsuit with Ed Sheeran and the Marvin Gaye estate?

I was gonna say I try to avoid anything with Ed Sheeran. I did not. I mean I remember, I think suing someone for a vibe is very weird. I thought [the lawsuit against] Robin Thicke was bad. That shouldn't have happened. That was just strange, especially [because] that's been happening for so long with sampling.

I don't think it diminished Marvin Gaye. When I heard it, I wasn't like, Oh, I just wanna listen to this and forget Marvin Gaye.

Switching topics a little bit, what do you remember about playing the Bernie Sanders rally in 2020?

I remember everything—I’ve got a pretty good memory. It was amazing to meet him. It was amazing to actually meet—[is it] name Cornel West? He came backstage and we just spoke for like 10, 15 minutes.

It felt electric—like you were in the middle of something that was alive. You can feel that at a show, but this wasn't because we were playing. There was just an energy that was already there when they were speaking, and that comes from people. People bring that.

When that happens, they're having a conversation in between their gut or their subconscious or something 'cause like, the crowd sends out something, it goes with the speech, people feel feelings, it goes back, that's how the room feels electric 'cause it's stuff that's being said without words.

Like many people who loved your music from the start, I started dressing like the Strokes. So thank you for that. How did the band come upon a signature look? Was it something you guys talked about or does it come naturally to you?

I mean it's so tough to talk about, because things are organic that you can't explain. When you're a group of people, you share dialogue, you'll share reflections of how you speak, how you walk and just like things mesh all together when you're that young and you're hanging out all the time. Do you talk about that stuff when you're younger? Of course.

It's not just based on, you wanna look cool, you're trying to, exude something, to women or to people in general, that we're a band. You're 18, you're gonna talk about your stage moves, you're gonna talk about your performance. What part of the show was boring. The same way you would about songs.

At the time there were a lot of bands where it was a dude and out of focus people. We want it to be perceived as the way pop groups were perceived back in the day where you knew everyone. It seemed more interesting if you knew everyone. You could like the band because you liked one [member]. So you had more of a chance to be liked, if people knew five people than if they just knew one.

It felt really cool to be 18 with those guys, before anything was going on. We were just playing music. It still can feel like that sometimes backstage. We're just in a different room and a lot of time has passed.

[dojae-huh]

To tell the truth, Taeil is always at the bottom of selling chart out of the group (MDs, CN bars, digipacks, merch, etc) and his fans doesnt have buying power. If SM give him solo album right after successful debut of DJJ and it doesnt sell much, it will be hummiliating for him personaly and as someone with high pride he wont able to face another post-KoMS moment. Taeyong bar is the biggest bars in nct so far, if for group comeback they can bought 50k+ albums, imagine the number they willing to spent for his solo. He has a more advantage to make his solo debut success (good networking, have a lot of friends in the industries, rich and loyal fansbase).

Good point about Taeil's pride.

How to put it accurately. Taeil had a strong voice from the beginning. He doesn't sing much outside of recordings. In comparison to Taeyong, who came into the company knowing nothing, Taeil "had it easy" (not really, he sacrificed his uni, he has his own problems of being compared to others, the pressure of imposed values and how success looks like). Taeil is the oldest in the group and plays an important role as the main vocal, so he is loved and valued. Others push and advertise the group, put in additional hours, while his role is to provide vocals, and he is good at singing. Basically, he is in a comfortable position. Small effort (relatively to other neos) and big reward. Doing something outside of the group puts him in danger of a failure. And that will be only on him, he will be faced with unpleasant truth of lacking. KoMS was such a case. His singing ability wasn't enough. He didn't touch the crowd emotionally, maybe he chose wrong songs to perform as well.

Taeil is a prideful person, you can see it in how he defends himself in trivial matters (I'm not a bad drinker, I'm not short I'm just surrounded with tall people). People often don't do something out of fear of performing badly or failing. They can even sabotage themselves just to avoid a new challenge (it's not me, it's the circumstances, I would have been great if not for...).

Wishing Taeil to go act or go into variety is wishing him to jump into torrential cold water. If he is ready, he will do it. If he isn't, it is nicer for him to stay "just" the main vocal of a successful group. It already brings him huge stadiums to sing at and the money he needs to provide for himself and his (current and future) family.

Success have different forms. Different people find happiness in different things. Fans should look at their bias and accept the way he is instead of trying to push him into the mold. Taeil is a musical nerd, he is not a flashy performer. I personally wish him to get a solo album in the genre he wants to sing, maybe with his own songs included, and not change his image, fake his public personality and overstress himself with promotions in pursue of big sale numbers.

[pattywagon2go]

Transit Talk Thursday

Transit Talk Thursday: Hello everyone, I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it. This week was originally going to be about gadgetbahns, but since it's Thanksgiving, I thought it would be cool to talk about why I'm still hopeful about transit improving, especially in North America, since I tend to see a lot of doomerism about it online and it gets tiring after a while. That and I'm on a time crunch.

Easily the biggest thing I can point to is that here in North America, things have been progressively gotten better. With how much advocacy that has been happening, more and more people have been realizing that "Hey, we should be investing more into public transit!" and there's concrete evidence of this happening, such as the opening of the Montreal REM, the Biden Administration awarding Amtrak with more money for the Northeast Corridor, the Lincoln Service, California High-Speed Rail, etc.. And even without that, you can't brush aside the things that the United States has done right, such as the metro systems in large metropolitan areas and the Northeast Corridor between Boston and Washington D.C..

Of course, no rail system can run without some trains, and in that regard, many systems here have been looking to catch up with Europe. Caltrain, DART, BART, Washington Metro, hell even Amtrak have been looking to getting fresh new rolling stock from European manufacturers like Stadler and Siemens to replace their aging fleet. New rolling stock can help improve public perception of transit by making it flashy and modern, and who wouldn't want to ride on something modern vs something from the 70s?

Of course, it's not always going to be the big stuff that's gonna push transit forward. Little things help too, such as having fare gates accept credit or debit cards, instead of requiring a fare card, protected bike lanes on roads, and housing with less parking next to stations are great small changes that help transit make big leaps forward.

While on the topic of big stuff, there's been loads of progress there as well. Fully electrified or actively electrifying systems such as Denver RTD and Caltrain are proof that electrification isn't some foreign concept to the United States. It is still very much possible and should be pursued. And when these projects are completed, they lay the groundwork for other agencies to follow up on to bring these same improvements to the people that they serve. This would not happen if these projects never happened to begin with.

And don't get me wrong here when I say all this. By all means I am not trying to say "Oh let's just keep everything the way it is, because it's perfect", because it's not. Far from it. But I'm tired of hearing all the damn time from people about how the US is unsaveable from the 70+ years of car dependency we have built up so far. There is irrefutable evidence that things are going to get better or have gotten better. We can't just call it a day and say "Fuck it, it ain't worth it". We need to keep pushing.

So conclusion time?

I'll keep it fairly brief.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for the transit that we do have, and I'm hopeful for what is to come in the near future.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

[chipped-chimera]

Oh boy do I have thoughts about this and this is coming from the lesbian - I don't get why y'all are so mad about these guys.

I think River is lovely! Like he is a RARE thing in Night City, someone with a sense of justice that is unshakeable in the face of corruption and greed. That is something worth protecting and people are leaving River to die?? If you are you're missing out on the conclusion to a frankly great storyline where you actually SAVE THE DAY and it's not some monkeys paw ending like most in this game. Like this could literally be one of the brightest blips in V's entire experience in the story. Also just the creepy vibes of it all and shit like - it sat with me. That to me is the sign of excellent writing when something actively sticks out against other content and is something I still think about OUTSIDE of even playing the game.

Like I guess? (Remember, Lesbian, all my attraction to dudes was basically aesthetic and 'for the bit' until I actually figured shit out) he could be considered unattractive but I think that is a very far reach considering how many people go apeshit for Solas in Dragon Age Inquisition who to me, doesn't even hit anywhere CLOSE on aesthetically attractive with a head like a buffed egg and his weird ass face (yes I am being overly mean here to make a point). River physically (at least in my aesthetic measure) is objectively attractive, his only fault in my mind is he doesn't have hair? Like really what is the issue here? He's too nice? He's POC??? I mean when I see how people currently treat Will Ravengard from BG3 in comparison to other male LI's it reeeeeeally makes me feel like some of y'all's internalised racism is showing. Wyll seems like one of the nicest, real prince grade love interests with complicated struggles with the dichotomy of good and evil as a Warlock (to the point yeah I'd say he is what inspired me to make my first DnD tabletop character a Warlock!) and I know Tumblr's taste - we love a good tortured backstory. Especially characters who have a positive exterior but are carrying something heavy - Wyll and River BOTH have these qualities. They're just POC. So makes me have a big HMMMM over that one.

As for Kerry I think he is an excellent character who definitely fits at least my aesthetic definition of attractive - I mean I feel he's been designed with that in mind for 2077, he is a rockstar (honestly you give me tattoos I'll like any character more so I'm biased in that regard). Writing wise I think he's even better. He is living the lavish lifestyle of a flashy bird that is trapped in a guilded cage of his own making - he did it for survival in the world he's forced to live in, and while most would see him as successful he feels hollow inside and is now watching himself or his public persona fall to the doom of irrelevance. And it is terrifying. He has invested so much of his life and identity into this, it's who he is but it isn't at the same time. When the player meets him it's with the implication he may have been considering taking his own life. Sure he says it was just for publicity but I honestly wonder if that is entirely true. Him playing it off feels more like I'm dealing with him continuing to avoid the problem to the point he won't admit it to himself.

When he goes after the uscracks I feel it's basically him hitting breaking point in all this. The dude really needs therapy so he can actually process all the grief he is holding - grief over Johnny who is basically 'haunting' him now, the separation from his wife, his children off elsewhere and his wife manipulating them against him, the fact he is aging out of relevance and for all intents and purposes is nothing but a gaudy shell being played like a fiddle by the capitalist machine he never really wanted part of in the first place.

So when I went on that mission, part of me knew Kerry wouldn't really kill anyone. What Kerry needed was a therapist, but I also knew that wouldn't work because I got the sense he was old enough to know how kind of ... inconsequential a therapist would be when you're living in a CYBERPUNK DYSTOPIA. There is no escaping it. So I feel his outburst that he drags V along for is more a culmination of all this rage and frustration exploding outwards. And the way I played my V, was that she could see and understand this well because at least in my own lore, she had a similar experience.

She knew he had to go down this path to resolve it in himself, but she knew the risks, so she tags along - not just for the money, Merc afterall - but as a kind of guardrail for someone who is currently in the 'just going apeshit' mindset that needs to burn itself out before it can get anywhere productive. The entire time my V would ask him why he was doing what he was doing, less for her benefit, more for his. Trying to get him to THINK and ACKNOWLEDGE what was really going on with him, the shit he was trying to ignore.

And also of course, doing it for Johnny as a friend - because Johnny would probably do that for Kerry too (albeit maybe with a lot more collateral damage).

Honestly people who just default hate on these guys? You're missing out. Also if you call Kerry shit for going after the uscracks and you ALSO leave River at the farm to perish? You're worse. You're actually worse. You're a goddamn hypocrite here.

Anyway yeah can we stop making character hate your entire personality? Like I think Solas is a hideous egg man with the personality of wet cardboard but you don't see me yelling about it constantly do you (aside from this one sentence) because I know OTHER people like him and that's important to them.

Just like ... vibe guys. Have a good time. It's fandom, it's supposed to be fun.

Can we just talk about the hatred the male romance options in cyberpunk get? Just today someone was bickering that they didn't like Kerry because.. "he threated 3 innocent girls, and would've killed them" Hello?? Hate to say it but out of all the Romance options in game, Kerry is the ONLY one who doesn't kill anyone. Nor does he have the balls too. He threatens people and that's about it. OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE HATE THAT PEOPLE HAVE FOR RIVER. I have seen multiple people go after him, some people also just leave him to die on the farm because they hate him so much. I don't understand how people hate these two so much, and put Judy and Panam on a pedestal. All of the characters have their flaws, their own special stories, all of it. None of them are innocent, but none of them are the bad guys either. In short though,

STOP HARASSING PEOPLE FOR LIKING A CHARACTER!!!!! Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you gotta make it your whole personality.

[ashly-29]

7 Factors to Consider When Purchasing a Hidden Blade!

The term "hidden blade" is a name given to a specialized knife usually carried by ninja assassins and sometimes by other martial artists. The knife has a thin, flat edge that when pulled across the palm of the hand, can be used as an effective slashing weapon. The blade grips tightly onto the skin and, with the use of leverage and twisting wrist movements, can inflict enough damage to kill in short order. 

A concealed blade may also refer to a cleverly disguised weapon: for example, one might be called this if it conceals itself in a pen or umbrella that would not otherwise suggest its presence when viewed from above. This blade may also refer to a type of explosive device that is placed in close proximity to a target by covert operatives, as seen in the James Bond film "GoldenEye" and the Chuck Austen-penned comic book series "Cable".

This blade was first used in Japan. While the evidence is scarce, it seems to have originated from China and then was later refined into its modern form by ninjas from feudal Japan. These blades were primarily used by spies because they allow silent killing without being noticed and are easily concealed. During combat, they were usually worn on the back of the hand or forearm.

Essential Factors to Consider!

These blades are tools that are concealed on the inside of a person's wrist and can be used to slash or stab someone. They are mostly used by people who have special skills, for example, Assassins in video games. They are also useful for dealing with trouble when you don't want to use a gun. Here are 7 points to keep in mind while buying a hidden blade:

1. Know your Target's Profile

Most targets are male, and most of the time they wear suits. They are also the only ones who can afford good quality watches. This means that a well hidden blade will have to be made out of stainless steel and use a good quality spring for its action. 

Quality is more important than style, so don't go for something flashy. It should also be concealed well enough not to draw attention from any onlookers and look like a normal watch on your wrist when you aren't wearing it. 

2. Size

Personally, I find a small knife to be a better choice. This is because I don't often find myself in situations where I need to slash someone or stab them with it. If you are going to use it to cut something, then go for a big one so you can control the direction of the attack and make sure that you won't incur any injuries on yourself.

3. Safety

Always make sure that your hidden blade is a very safe device and that it doesn't have any moving parts and will not give way under pressure. Also, remember that it is a concealed weapon, so don't wave it around in public or use it on anyone in front of others, or else you might get into trouble.

4. Avoid the Spring

There are some blades that use springs to open and close, and that is a mistake. These springs might not be very strong and will give away too soon, before you get a chance to stab or cut anything. It is much better to use a mechanism that is operated by your palm when you want to close the blade. 

That way it doesn't matter how weak your muscle power is, since it will be completely hidden within your hand and friends with the blade which makes it more difficult for someone to guess that you are hiding something under there.

5. Make Sure A Good Grip on Your Blade

There is no point in buying a weapon that doesn't fit you well or that you can't hold properly. Make sure the handle of your hidden blade is easy to hold and doesn't slip out of your hand. It should also be made out of a material that doesn't bend or break easily, and it should have finger grips so that you can easily open and close it.

6. Other Accessories

A good hidden blade will also come with other accessories such as a sheath and a cloth to wipe it clean. Remember that even though your weapon is concealed, it still has to be kept in good condition so that you can use it without any problems.

7. Have a Backup Plan

Since your hidden blade will last longer than any other conventional weapon, you will have to have another means to protect yourself in case of an emergency. This means you will have to carry a gun and a knife too, so you might want to get yourself a good holster and store your knives safely in it. 

Remember to practice with your blade every now and then, because it will give you the opportunity to become familiar with it and know its limitations better.

Owning a Hidden Blade Can be Beneficial!

Creating a deadly blade that is hidden in a seemingly harmless object has been a go-to for all types of characters in movies and TV shows. From the iconic sword cane of Sherlock Holmes to Batman’s utility belt, there are many benefits to this classic trope. 

One reason is that the concealed blade can be used as an easy (and *accidental*) weapon to protect oneself, including from police officers if need be. Another is that a hidden blade provides an immediate advantage over any opponents when you're caught unawares or your weapons are taken away by your enemies

[moonraccoon-exe]

If you're still taking drabbles, and if no one has asked for it. 11 for Corqi?

[Corqi drabbles written from this list of prompts.]

AOSDIKAJGDKJSFAKDJKFDSFDJ

First off, I’m so SORRY that it took this long, my dearest anon! Second, I’m sorry if you wanted a short drabble. This turned into a 1606 words little fic, haha. I just- couldn’t help it! I like descriptive writing, so there it goes.Third, I hope you like sappy self-indulgent fluff. This could go any way, in any genre, but I chose the most cliché and cheesy one because I wanted to, this was the last prompt I got and I thought it’d be cute, and our sweet angri boi deserves some praise.

Tbh I’m not 100% happy with it, but that’s because I’m not good at making short stories. Sorry! Still, hoping you enjoy, dear anon, and thanks lots for dropping in such a pretty prompt!

Adding a read more at some point.

“Wow, youlook…amazing.”

Loqi’sheart skipped a beat at the sound of that voice; he subtly flinched and gaspedin his place, not prepared to have been seen this soon. Still, his heart spedup to the pace of a scared rabbit and a smile grew on his face, cheeks blushedfrom the excitement. There was nothing that he wanted more than to turn aroundand go hug the owner of that voice. But he, gods know why, did notwant to show too much excitement, let the man know how eager he was for this.So, instead of that, he controlled his smile and tried to pretend his heart wasnot madly beating against his ribcage, and, trying to act as calmly aspossible, he turned around, not forgetting to do it with grace enough for thehalf-cloak he was wearing to do a charming, ethereal fly and fall movementaround his shoulders.

He couldnot help another wide smile and the speed of his heart again when he came tosight.

Cor Leonis,the Lucian Marshal, stood nearby the door, frozen, andlooking at him as if though he was in front of one of the Astrals’ divinemessengers, or in front of an Astral themselves. For a moment, Loqi forgot howto breathe and wanted to praise the Marshal back and instead; Cor looked phenomenal, dressedin the most elegant royal military suit Loqi had ever seen in his life; in theclassic Lucian colors, a fit jacket with all of Cor’s medals on a side of thechest, simple but elegant epaulettes, and a golden and black belt to the waist,on top of the jacket. He was even wearing a ceremonial emblematic sword,sheathed in its proper place.

But, oncemore, Loqi did not want to show what he was thinking. Cor had said somethingand was looking at him like he was a deity, and, before really letting Cor knowhis own thoughts and desires and excitement, he first wanted to take it to hisvantage. There was no way Loqi would admit it, but the praise, Cor’s praise forhim, it ruined him beautifully.

Focusingfirst in himself, weak by the way Cor was staring at him, Loqi moved slightlyin his place, distractedly, to show off his own clothing; the vest, the littlechains that crossed a side of his chest, the jacket witha long tail and loose sleeves, tied to his wrists, beautiful boots andloose-enough but fit pants. All of it, compared to Cor’s military outfit, madehim feel a little out of place, but in a pretty way. He almost felt like afantasy prince. It did not help that he kept enjoying of the half-cloak aroundhis shoulders, decorated with beautiful golden patterns and his own muchsimpler epaulettes. He was even given an ear piece with the shape of a dragon,for his Niflheimian origins.

“Youthink?” Loqi asked slyly, pretending innocence.

But Cor didnot reply. He did not even move. He stood in the same place, frozen, mouthopen, and eyes gleaming with shock. Loqi smiled yet again, looking away for amoment. Whenever he looked back at Cor, the Marshal was still staring at himlike he was literally unable to move. The way he looked at Loqi, it wasunbearable in a wonderful way. Loqi immediately blushed and looked away if helooked at Cor’s eyes, not because it was too intense but because it wastoo…pure. Cor was not pretending all this just to be romantic; he was honestlydumbstruck. Cor looked at him with such a sincere shock that all that Loqicould think of was a mortal looking up at their god for the first time.

A bitoverwhelmed, Loqi stared away, smiling, trying to control his burning cheeks.When he looked back and found Cor still looking up and down on him with thesame dumbstruck face, the Niflheimian could not help a low laugh, and hestopped caring about the praise.

“Somepeople may consider so much staring as rude, you know that, Leonis?” the blondasked as he walked over to the older man, still smiling. 

Cor stilldid not reply. He continued staring in absolute silence, still unable to shutthe mouth. He did take in a breath that sounded as if though he had forgottenhe had to breathe and, seeing the real shock in his eyes, Loqi did not doubtthat had been the case. Moved and not believing the Marshal could react likethis, the Niflheimian laughed lowly and moved even closer, and rested the handson Cor’s broad chest.

“Cor” Loqimurmured, smiling, “say something.”

“…I’msorry, I just…” Cor managed to whisper back, head lowered now that the youngerman was standing so close, so he could continue staring. Loqi waited for him tocontinue, but Cor didn’t say anything else; he merely tried, lips movedwordlessly, and he then smiled with an almost apologetic look in his face,shrugging slightly. By response, Loqi smiled widely and chuckled. Cor smiledback, but he continued staring, eyes analyzing, like he could not believe anyof what he was seeing.

The blondlet him; he stayed quiet as Cor’s eyes wandered all over his face, his hair,the ear piece, the neck and what he could see of clothing. Loqi smiled and didnot mind; he too liked to stare at Cor, and he thought that it would be nice tojust let him stare as he pleased. Loqi considered it as praise, and it did buttouch and raise his healthy ego, made him feel special. Made him feel loved. Made him feel…that Cor really did want this. If he wanted, he couldrub against Cor and purr as Thanks. Not anyone got the Marshal’s eyes on them like this, so full of…affection.

After somemore staring, Cor moved a hand up and used it to caress Loqi’s hair, as if tooafraid to touch his skin.

“…you lookstunning” Cor whispered. Loqi’s smile faded and his cheeks turned red; the waythe Marshal said it made it sound much more like a statement than a compliment.It was both heartwarming and overwhelming. Cor, in his words, was being asserious as in his actions, being a hopeless romantic without trying or meaningto be. “…you look…” Cor sighedquietly, eyes piercing not with intensity but with softness. He continuedstaring and staring, very subtly shaking the head.

Loqi, oncemore, waited in vain for Cor to finish his words. All that the Marshal did wasto offer him yet another apologetic smile. The Niflheimian did but laugh underhis breath, and the sound made Cor’s smile soften and grow. After a few moreseconds, keeping the hands on Cor’s chest, Loqi reached closer, head thrownback so he could look in the Lucian’s direction.

“Isn’t itbad luck to see your betrothed before the ceremony?” he whispered, with aplayful smile.

Cor’shands, almost on their own, moved up. Hesitatingly, like he still was not sureif he was allowed to touch Loqi, they tried to land on his waist. He touchedhim just enough to be felt, but Loqi could still feel Cor’s hesitation which,for once, was very sweet. After a few more seconds with the Marshal staring athim, Cor started subtly shaking the head. The movement became more clear aftera few seconds, and an arm finished sneaking around the blond’s waist, while theother let go, only to move the hand up and use it to gently grab Loqi’s chin.

“No. Notfor me, at least” Cor whispered, bringing the Nif even closer, until theirbodies were pressed together. “On the opposite. I’m prettycertain that it’s good luck when you find an angel…”

Loqi tookin a silent, subtle gasp, taken off-guard. He hated Leonis’ ability to do that.Cor was not the most explicit or affectionate of lovers, but when he wanted tosay something romantic, even as cheesy as he could get, there was no doubt hecould make Loqi’s heart flutter like the first time the Marshal ever laid hislips on his own…

The Nif didnot even think about arguing or giving one of his playful, teasing replies. Allhe knew in that moment was that the man in front of him was the first realowner of his heart, and he wanted him to be the last and only; that Cor lookedat him like a hopelessly devoted staring at their deity; that Cor hadbeautiful, incredibly expressive eyes, and that Loqi wanted to look at them,every morning and every night from that day on, just like they looked at him,not like they were everything in the world, but like there was nothing else init that he would rather look at.

Keeping hishands on the Marshal’s chest, and the Marshal hugging his waist and holding hischin, Loqi stood up on tiptoes and gently tilted the head slightly to a side,softly closed the eyes, and let Cor press a tender kiss to his mouth, somethingdelicate, barely a touch, chaste and sweet, but oh so dearly and heavily loaded of an affection and care that Loqi didn’t think possible until meeting him.

Loqi containeda sigh mid-kiss; he hated that Leonis could steal his heart withsuch simple things, like by wearing a stupid uniform, with such asweet little kiss, or even just by the way Cor looked at him, as if he truly thought him an angel.

[volturialice]

do you think jasper REALLY proposed to alice? because I can't imagine him proposing to her, you know, on one knee or something like that. in my mind he was just like "hey darlin' so what if we got married to calm carlisle christian-ass down?" and then she would probably be like "party, pretty dress, hot cowboy in a suit...yeah sure"

also they are having this conversation after sex it's just my mind it's just the way it works

oh yeah, hard agree.

for all that alice loves to make A Big Thing out of everyone else's life, she's intensely (hypocritically) private about her own stuff. I think part of that is respecting jasper's desire for privacy, and part of it is that she seems to hold their relationship fairly sacred—it's not a set piece or a tool to her. I think it's significant that she and jasper chose to hang out on their own for a few years before showing up to the family.

and of course, I've talked before about how neither of them cares much about marriage as an institution. jasper was happy to leave 1860s mores behind, and alice was never taught to Wait Until Marriage™ in the first place. they're the two least involved in human society, so why should they care whether it recognizes what they already know is a permanent commitment, something that will last way longer than any mere human lifetime? like, capital-F ~Fate~ brought them together. they're a soulmate au. I don't think they see themselves as needing anyone else's approval.

but, well. a wedding is a party, and I think once alice saw pictures of rosemmett's or carlesme's wedding, the schemey little Bastard gears in her head would start turning. they didn't have friends and family to party with before, but they do now.

and I think once the suggestion was floated, jasper would like the idea of getting married, too. the remaining old-fashioned part of him appreciates the Serious Maturity of marriage. after all, it sounds so Adult. ("that's my wife." you sound like a person.)

so I think jasper did "propose," but not in a flashy or public or even particularly premeditated way.

and they're definitely having this conversation after sex. I think that is when jasper is at his most mushy and sentimental and when alice knows she can get away with murder even more than usual.

anyway I was thinking about what a fun ask this is (thank you anon!) and my hand slipped and then this happened, so

[tooth-rotting fluff under the cut; probably T-ish in rating]

"So I saw something the other day," said Alice one afternoon. They had the house to themselves, which meant sex in a bed, still something of a novelty after their years of wandering.

"Mmm?" said Jasper, his hand stroking lazily over her bare back.

Alice looked up, her sharp little chin poking his shoulder. "Carlisle's going to suggest we get married," she warned.

Jasper absorbed this, considered it, then broke into a wicked grin. "Do you think we're offending his delicate sensibilities, living in sin?" he asked, skimming his fingers up the side of Alice's ribcage until she shivered.

Not to be outdone, Alice trailed her nails over his abs, making him twitch. "Oh, we're definitely offending his delicate sensibilities," she purred. She dragged her toes along his calf in that way she knew made him squirm. She liked having and abusing the knowledge that the invincible, battle-hardened Scourge of the South was ticklish.

Jasper broke and rolled her beneath him, pinning her wrists out of the way so she couldn't cause any more trouble while he soundly kissed the laughter out of her. It didn't entirely work—she was still laughing when she pushed him off a minute later.

He propped himself up on one arm, scrutinizing her face. "Do you want to get married?"

She frowned up at the ceiling. "I don't know. It could be fun."

"You haven't seen it already?"

"How could I?" She rolled to look at him, whacking him lightly with a stray pillow before she tucked it under her head. "You're a rather important part of that decision."

Jasper considered again. "Try now," he ordered. "Look for our wedding."

Alice did, her eyes unfocused. Her wry "I'll humor you" look melted away at whatever she saw, replaced by surprise and acute delight.

She came back to the present and sat up sharply. "Jasper Whitlock, are you asking me to marry you?" she demanded.

He made a spur of the moment decision, since that was the only way to surprise her, and rolled out of bed. The sight of him on the floor, intensely serious as ever as he got down on one knee, completely naked, had her clapping both hands over her mouth to keep from bursting into giggles.

"Shhh," he said, struggling not to grin back at her. He arranged his face into an expression that dared her to break first and ruin the moment. "Alice Cullen: I love you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said. "Now get up."

Jasper obeyed, tackling her back onto the bed in the process.

-

"So when is it?" he asked a while later.

"When's what?"

"Our wedding."

"I don't know," said Alice. "It wasn't clear in the vision."

"How about Thursday?"

"Thursday?" She smacked him on the shoulder. "How fast do you think I can plan a wedding?"

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You mean you haven't already planned it?"

He knew he had her dead to rights when she shifted and refused to meet his eyes. "Well..." she admitted. "I did have a few ideas."

She wouldn't be Alice if she didn't.

"But you know," she added, looking slyly up at him, "if you wanted to live in sin a while longer, I wouldn't object."

"Good," said Jasper, and kissed her again.