#big ol' ramble
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dude not to scuff my foot against the dirt about choices I made while fully knowing the consequences but also: my dad texted me saying that not only did he and my mom go meet my glamorous flew-in-from-LA movie-industry "aunt"*, her husband, and her dad at a swanky jazz cocktail bar to celebrate my "aunt's"* dad, who's 96 today(!!!), but also both of my sisters are there, both with their significant others 💔
*she's not my aunt, she's my mom's cousin, but "first cousin once removed" is a mouthful and also I call her my aunt lol
sometimes it's like man. the older I get the harder it is to live away from everyone.
it's dumb, because I love pittsburgh and I am very often so happy that I moved out here. something that's always stuck with me is my dad once told me he regretted how he and my mother never made the jump to live elsewhere. a huge part of him clearly wanted (and maybe still wants) to live out west. they honeymooned in colorado, and my dad said he wished they'd moved out there. but they both got jobs and just stayed, and now forty years later here they are, each only an hour from where they grew up.
so I'm glad I did it. I think I've gained a lot of life experience, and have gotten to know and love this city and its people. I could see this being a permanent home for me, sincerely. I have a wide network of friends across so many age groups, and I like the culture and the rolling hills and the greenness everywhere and of course the hockey ;)
but also I think about like, what if my sisters marry their boyfriends, both of whom I like. what if they settle down? I know my middle sister wants kids. I can't imagine not being around for that.
and then, on the flip side, I want to live so many places. I want to try out seattle so, so damn badly. I turned down a job offer out there a couple months ago and I don't regret it because it wasn't the right timing, but god. I want to be out there so badly.
but also every year feels closer to a year that my sisters really put down ROOTS. and it's like I can see the street lamps starting to flicker on, the universal signal for the kids out on the street to go home.
it's a complicated thing! and it's not a bad problem to have, not really. I have a lot of possibilities in front of me. there are good and bad consequences to any choice I could make. if I won the lottery I'd just have an apartment in each city and bounce between them, haha, but alas I've never bought a ticket.
anyways, I just think a lot about the lives of my sisters that I've missed out on, and my parents, and the people and family we have. but on the other hand I have a life I've lived and made and really, really enjoyed out here, so it's just a weighing of the scales, and I have to find some peace in balancing them because I feel like my story out-in-the-world isn't quite done yet.
this is getting rambly and off topic but I'm reminded of how my high school best friend once was surprised when I said I thought I'd wind up back home one day. she said I'd always been a bit drifty, a bit gone-where-the-wind-took-me, and she wasn't wrong. when I was in high school, I said I'd never move to the big city!!! I was going out west!!!
ah, how wrong I was, ahaha.
it's a complicated thing, feeling like you belong in many places at once. I belong home with my family and the city where all of our friends and family are. I belong here, in Pittsburgh, where I learned how to be an adult and where I have friends and colleagues and a million habits I enjoy and holes-in-the-wall I know and shopkeepers who wave hi to me in recognition and so many things I'd hate to give up. and every damn time I step foot in the PNW I just have a bone-deep feeling of "I belong here, I want to feel how I feel here all the time, I want to see these sights every day, I want to have the ocean and mountains and green green nature around me."
but there's only one me! and I certainly haven't ascended to the "live in three states for funsies" income bracket 😂😂😂
#big ol' ramble#man I just miss my family a lot. I miss my sisters. I feel like I miss so much of their lives.#like they hang out together since they live like 15 minutes from each other's apartments lol#and I'm like. man. it's hard!#anyways I think really what I should focus on is that I'm really grateful I have a family I like this much and that I want to be around#like that's a good thing. all of these things are good things! good decisions to have to make! I have options! none are ''bad''!!!
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i need him to mount me. i need him to flip me onto my stomach, slightly lift my hips, and fuck into me like a feral touch deprived disgusting old man. i need him to make me sore and bruised and i need to feel his huge cock against my walls. i need to run my tongue up and down his lower tummy veins. i need to gnaw on his skin till my mouth shape is indented into him. i need to personally lick every drop of sweat from his body and be his personal cleaner. i need to bite and nibble at his facial hair and body hair.
i need him.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
edit if from candace.ffx
#yasi rambles#hugh jackman#wolverine#australian#drover#hugh jackman edit#hugh jackman has a big ole cock
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God but imagine Luke teaching little kids like-
Luke, who knows exactly where all of his gremlins are even when they’re multiple star systems away: “Oh noooo! I lost the baby! Where oh where could the baby be?”
Small child, clinging to his back like a tiny opossum and giggling like a mad man: >:D
Luke: “Oh dear, oh no, if I can’t find the baby, I’ll have to call Leia in to help-“
Small child, remembering that Leia actually makes them do all ten minutes of their meditation practice and doesn’t pretend not to notice if they leave like Luke does: “I’m here!”
Luke: “Ah! You scared me! You worried me, too, what if you were lost forever?”
Like, Luke being like a cat. You know how cats pretend not to notice their babies hunting them and overact being shocked? That’s Luke.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#luke skywalker#honestly biggest missed opportunity of disney#is not showing luke being a big ol mama cat
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No pressure, but if you’ve asked a bed question, or enjoyed my expertise on the subject of sex toys, or laughed at any of my silly stories, you could always drop me a tip on Ko-fi or Venmo if you felt so moved!
#ramblies#gonna have a big ol car repair coming up and my paycheck was not what I’d hoped#thankful at least Korben isn’t a huge vet bill but Leeloo does need more X-rays and we have to move soon#so any tips are very much appreciated!
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A catalogue of Akkrazaran dog breeds, found inside of a reference bestiary
#my art#ohote#worldbuilding#dog#dog breeds#i have Infos about them but I didn't want to bog down the main post lmao. nobody wants a big ol ramble to scroll through
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i think colin is the kinda guy who is cis for convenience. not in a societal way, but in a "i don't have time to think about anything but these fucking computers" way. also i think whatever gender he is is some niche shit probably themed around wanting to be a computer that actually wORKED-
#ramblings with major#the magnus protocol#tmagp#colin becher#cursing#colin gazing longingly at animated movies with big ol computer rooms full of wires and several screens: god i wish that were me#alice nudging sam: told you he was an egg#sam: ????
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AHHHHHHH ur latest movieverse charles is so precious,,, i want to pinch his cheeks and stretch them like mochi
squihshy..
#xmen#first class#snap sketches#this ask is. A Little Old JERLKEARKLJ SORRRYYYYY A LOTS HAPPENED#this ask is still accurate tho i havent drawn movieerse Since that last doodle. Ever Ago 💀💀💀💀#BUT we talkin movies today SO !! finally gettin to my movieverse asks i wanted to doodle jvlekavjlaek#anyways thank you my friend !!!!! its important he looks chewable at all times i think im glad i succeeded there#oh Unrelated Ramble Time i love mochi so much im gona kms#when i was growing up it was like. My Favorite favorite whenever my dad would visit or come home from work in the city#he'd bring me these big ol mochi balls and ohhh my god i miss them so much .... im sad now .. and hungry ... mostly hungry
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#ck rambles#bakuage sentai boonboomger#bb liveblog#he's so moe#wanna keep him in my purse like one of them teacup chihuahuas#gonna give him a big ol kiss on his fivehead that'll leave a cartoonishly large kiss mark
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thinkin abt Wade + Logan bein silly while regressed
i like to think of logan pet regressin to likeee any kinda canine (he's jus a big sleepy dawg that likes to chew on stuff man ik it for sure)
and wade goes crazy for his mlp + hello kitty stuff . hes the number one fan while big anddd little
logan snoozin beside wade (bein the ultimate space heater i jus kno that puppy runs hot) while he plays wit his dolls (lps and barbie are introduced to bluey and care bears , he doesn care lols).
wade goes to pick up another doll that was off at logans side and........... theres chew marks 🙀 . dun dun dun . he poked logan to ask if he did it and all wade gets as an answer is a big sleepy grumble
urgh . there's spit left on it too 😾 . wade wipes his doll off on whatever part of logan that's nearest (bc he gets to deal wit his own spittle , as deserved) . but logan does not appreciate dis..
play fightin ensues . not honda oddessy lvl fightin.... probably 😸
#thoughts#fandom agere#marvel agere#wolverine agere#deadpool agere#xmen agere#regressor logan howlett#regressor wade wilson#oooo yea babyy logan is a big ol lap dawg#and wade is fiercely loyal to his dollies#rambles
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Me, rambling to my wife about this crackpot theory I came up with in the shower about how Les Miserables may have been an answer to The Count of Monte Cristo, or at least could be read as such: ... But then Valjean didn't personally screw Javert over like Dantes' enemies did-
My wife: Are you sure Valjean didn't screw Javert? I thought I read that on AO3 once.
#the train of thought leading up to my statement was whether it was Valjean one could read as a foil to Dantes or Javert#'cause of Javert's whole obsession with bringing Valjean to justice#bookblr#les miserables#the count of monte cristo#anyway nothing's gonna come of this crackpot theory of mine 'cause I am no longer in school and have no more essays to write#but by golly this would be a delicious topic to write a big ol' thesis style paper on#still an English major nearly 10 years out of cool leg apparently#well both these books are French but still#OKAY BUT LISTEN the two authors were contemporaries#and maybe arguably friends? according to the bio sketch of dumas in the intro of my CoMC copy?#I would have to do more research on their relationship and also whenabouts each was writing their respective thing#cause iirc aren't both books set around the same time period as well (mid-19th century) with a lot of the action being in Paris?#anyway right#ignore me and my nerdy nerdy book thoughts#these have been rambling tags with usagi
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panel redraw (bug eyed freak)
#doodle#yugioh#ygo#yami yugi#i got really excited about the fact that early manga yamiyu has the big fun eyes that i love drawing#but i didn't feel like doing the background#or color for that matter#i had fun with it!!!!!!! get a little silly with it yanno#hes lookin with his big ol eyes#idk im just rambling now
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GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ?? 😮
NEED HIM TO KNOCK MY FUCKING TEETH OUT SO I CAN FIT THAT AND BOTH HIS BALLS, EASILY.
dear hugh, i can take it. i promise.
#he’s huge down unda!!!!!#confirmed by me#this and the cricket video on my mind#free the cock#no undies ever again#thanks#hugh jackman#hugh jackman has a big ole cock#yasi rambles
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Tips on Writing Bishop
I've been asked a couple times for advice on how to write a good (03-style) Bishop, and I'm well-aware he can be a bit tough to get a grasp on. As someone who's studied him specifically to learn how to write him as accurately as possible, I figured I'd compile some thoughts in case it'd be helpful to anyone else. I know a lot of Rise takes on him are basing off the 03 version, so maybe this could help generate ideas, too. SO!
Big Overall Points!
At the core of EVERYTHING Bishop does are two primary motivations. The first: the protection of the earth. What this means to him can get tricky, because it doesn't necessarily mean protecting the people, at least not all of them. But it will be better understood alongside the other:
The second: The protection of his sense of safety. Bishop has been deeply traumatized, and everything he does is born of a want to avoid that pain ever again. In his mind, earth is a safe area, a controllable factor, and anything outside it is a danger that must be eliminated. This is why he will still be willing to put himself and other people on the line in service of this; any sacrifice is worth the greater goal. (It's worth noting, Bishop will claim the first as his motivation freely, but is likely not consciously aware of the second.)
Bishop deals in Big Picture ONLY. Another reason Bishop will willingly throw away anything, including the lives of the people he claims to protect, is that he seems incapable of understanding things on a small, individual basis.
Bishop is a cold personality. He does not have strong displays of emotion. He does emote, but for the most part it's muted, so I recommend using emotional bursts very sparingly. (In my own writing, as an example, I try to limit my use of exclamation marks in his dialogue as much as possible.)
At his core, Bishop is afraid, and his response to fear is aggression. This also makes it particularly difficult to talk him down, if he's put in an emotional state. His response to not being in control is often violent retaliation.
With those basic tenants understood, let's move next to some major personality traits:
Bishop is a controlling personality. This is a direct result of his trauma response. Things that can be controlled are safe, therefore he must control everything. If something cannot be controlled, it's a threat that must be eliminated. If he doesn't know why something happened, he becomes angry (including even when it benefits him.)
Bishop is very low-empathy. When writing him, I try to keep in mind that he cannot put himself in the perspective of others. (Or if he can, he doesn't care to.)
Bishop is a sadist. He gets personal enjoyment from hurting others.
Bishop likes fighting, but only when he's winning. He will quickly leave if he can't see a guaranteed victory.
Bishop is paranoid. This is probably self-evident, but it's the reason he's often so well-prepared even when things don't go to plan.
Bishop genuinely seems to enjoy science. He's shown to be far more lenient with scientist characters than anyone else, and he seems to involve himself in his scientists' projects to a degree. Enough to, at the very least, understand their work. (Given he was the one set to dissect the turtles, it might also be argued he has some medical or biology background, himself.)
Bishop is an opportunist and scavenger. He can roll with failures as long as he can find something to get out of it. If he's presented with an opportunity to stab someone in the back, and he has something to gain? He'll take it without a second thought.
Bishop is deeply self-blind. For all his perceptiveness and strategic prowess, Bishop is not very self-aware in the slightest. He is completely blind to his own hypocrisies, and thoroughly confident in his own righteousness.
Bishop adapts fast. He accepts situations for what they are and acts (Though he may still be angry about them, or what have you.) This is likely a skill developed via longevity; the world around him has changed rapidly, but he doesn't feel out of place at all.
Bishop will take extreme risks and thinks wildly outside the box. Also self-evident, if you're familiar with the plans he enacts throughout the show. He'll put a lot on the line if he thinks the reward is worth enough, and he's willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, even if his plans would be considered crazy by normal standards.
Bishop is persistent. If he wants something, he won't stop until he gets it. If he fails, he'll retreat, make a new plan, and try again. It is very difficult to convince him to back down (and certainly not on moral grounds.)
Habits and triggers I've noted:
Being restrained of any sort puts Bishop in a panic. He is more likely to have an emotional response in these scenarios, and seems to have (an albeit muted) desperation to escape. (See: Leatherhead restraining him in the first encounter; His reaction to being trapped on the surgical table in Head of State.)
When being duplicitous or suppressing a reaction, Bishop will go to adjust his tie. This could possibly be considered his tell.
Bishop seems to have a particular fear of aliens blending in as humans. His slayer project was built around the assumption that this is a common threat. (Worth noting: This makes The Shredder the model of the exact threat Bishop is afraid of. Technically, Bishop himself may also fit the description of a threat shaped like a human.)
Writing considerations:
In 03's narrative, Bishop is EPF and EPF is Bishop. Narratively speaking, any organization Bishop is head of acts as if it is an extension of his will and character.
Bishop is shown to strike fear and/or discomfort into most characters he interacts with. Anything beyond this is an outlier, and will draw a reader's attention.
Dialogue-wise, Bishop is generally succinct and blunt. He does dabble in gloating, though, and especially likes to upset others. If he's given a chance to be mean, he'll usually take it. It can help to consider he has a Mission Mode and a Normal Mode. When it comes to Mission Mode, he gets straight to the point and hates unnecessary talking. Otherwise, he's still not very talkative, but will take the time to make pointed jabs or talk through a plan. A lot of his sense of humor seems to be rooted in how He's Better Than You (And You're Going To Die Painfully.)
It's a common pitfall that Bishop is depicted as seeking out the turtles. In 03, once he gets their DNA, he's done with them. Any encounters after that are incidental. Bishop does not care about anything that won't effect his greater goal. If he's targeting another character, it should have to do with a greater plan.
Bishop is an extremely competent combatant, shown to be able to handle up to 7 opponents at once. For a breakdown on his fighting style check out my other post on that!
Bishop is hard to kill, and oftentimes he accidentally contributes to his own defeat. (The hook from Bishop's Gambit is an example I get a LOT of mileage out of, as a perfect symbol of his self-defeating prophecies.)
We almost only ever see Bishop in the context of his work. While it could be construed that he depersonalizes himself, it's much more clear that the narrative depersonalizes him. As far as we, the audience know, Bishop's work is all that he is.
It's unclear if Bishop was released from his abduction or escaped. Depending on which you ascribe to, this can have ramifications for his mindset on how to deal with the alien threat. (Personally, because so much of his inability to cope hinges on a feeling of helplessness, I believe he was released. If he escaped on his own power, that undercuts it, somewhat.)
Thematically-speaking, Bishop parallels both his own torturers and his own victims at the same time. He has perpetuated the cycle that traumatized him in the first place by trying to fight fire with fire. (In that vein, I don't think he's capable of understanding that, not seeing aliens as people in the first place, just dangers. Considering how deeply ingrained his trauma is in his worldview and actions, it would probably ruin him, if he were ever able to actually grasp it.)
Bishop and EPF are likely a commentary on the military of the time 03 was coming out. This can be something worth keeping in mind, when figuring out his greater themes in your story, though it can just as well be discarded if it doesn't fit.
Adding to that, Bishop has an extensive american military background. His skills and knowledge will reflect that.
Bishop also plays on and references a number of real-life alien conspiracies. It can be worth digging through conspiracy history to drum up ideas and themes, too.
The ethical and philosophical quandaries of Bishop's body-hopping and humanity tend to not hold too much weight, because Bishop, himself, doesn't seem to care.
If I think of more I'll certainly be adding on to the reblogs of this post! Or, if you have more thoughts, please feel free to add! If you're in the mood for more Bishop ramblings, that's practically most of this blog atm, but this post is a particular favorite. If you're interested in Fast Forward!Bishop, specifically, consider this post! (also read Taking Pawns. slipped in that self-promo, nice.)
#agent bishop#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2k3#teenage mutant ninja turtles#And man I still gotta make an analysis on 2012 Bishop#my man is so underrated#There are only a handful of fics out there that include him at ALL and for the most part I find he's blended with 03's characterization#Which takes away what makes him fun in his own right and muddies 03 Bishop's character basis imo#anyway I had this post on the backburner for a while and finally got the motivation to finish her up#And of course if ever there are more questions on characterizing him I'd be happy to help! I love rambling about this guy ad nauseum#oooh stray thought I should do one for Rat King too. Went through that guy's episodes recently theyre GREAT#I've also been very tempted to compile most of these posts into a big ol video essay. idk if I could pull it off but it sure is an idea
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shhh, he’s sleeping! 💤
closeups under cut ☆
#cageblind#johnshi#johnny cage#kenshi takahashi#mortal kombat#mk#ugh I hate (love) them so much!!!!#johnny is just a big ol dog he curls up into a ball on kenshi’s lap and stays there for 5 hours#kenshi puts up with it because he loves him#they’re so silly ugh!!! Ew!!!!#sorry I’m rambling now. Cageblind <3
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save me jason todd competency kink. jason todd competency kink save me. save me ja-
#not even rly in a sex way just#oh my god do y'all ever think about how intelligent and sharp and DEADLY this dude is#he could kill his s/o but he doesn't <3 cuz he loves them <3 and he's a big ol softie who needs smooches#but good lord also his tactical skills#his physical prowess#his smarts#his strategy#babygirl your field work makes me hot under the collar#ok I'm done#ramble on#Jason todd
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Has Saint ever met any other slugcats?
I imagine they have become quite rare, especially around iterator complexes!
Saint doesn't have any complicated feelings regarded slug cats, just because he has the body of one. He wasn't raised by them or anything of the sort. He's closer to a zombie honestly than a slug cat that grew up..
Which is why he's so weak and frail.
#rainworld#rain world#rw saint#ask#lynxmisnomer#he ascends them just like any other creature he sees around#the idea of sliver's consciousness or whats left of it being shoved into a dead slug cat is pretty fun#she destroyed herself but becoming a big ol octopus would not be useful for travel#and her echo-ness isnt related to a specific place its towards wanting to see her family.#so shes stuck saving them and the world forever#more or less#hehe got rambly excuse me!
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