#big fat five

[dreamings-free]

“So he’s just released a live album this week.. we’ve recorded every single show that we’ve done which in terms of data was quite a lot. I kinda just went through every show and constructed this record where each track was from a different location around the world and then we kinda fused it all together to make it feel like one concert.. but it’s kind of a seamless album, but everywhere’s different.. you know, different place around the world. Yeah so I did that and did his last single as well which came out as part of a dvd release, like a remake of one of his songs, so yeah bit of production in here for good measure as well as the other bits.”

— Steve Durham answering the question “You’ve also produced some songs for Louis, right?”

Big Fat Five podcast 10/5/24

[louisupdates]

Steve Durham talks drumming on the Big Fat Five podcast. There’s a very cool intro to Out Of My System on the podcast. You can listen here.

Steve talks about incorporating The Who’s Baba O’Riley into a 1D song, and producing Louis Tomlinson’s LIVE.

[melanodis]

redesigned my eleanor a lil bit for @connectionterminated13

[lotus-pear]

I HATE THE NEW TUMBL UPDATE WHY DO THE COMMENTS LOOK LIKE THAT

[notasapleasure]

Kay, thanks for this link, reading the essay was almost quasi-religious to this lifelong atheist. It's an absurdly optimistic piece and all the more rebellious for it, I think.

I could quote so much more from it, but perhaps this is the most relevant bit right now...

For radicals, fetishizing the guillotine is just like fetishizing the state: it means celebrating an instrument of murder that will always be used chiefly against us.

Those who have been stripped of a positive relationship to their own agency often look around for a surrogate to identify with—a leader whose violence can stand in for the revenge they desire as a consequence of their own powerlessness. In the Trump era, we are all well aware of what this looks like among disenfranchised proponents of far-right politics. But there are also people who feel powerless and angry on the left, people who desire revenge, people who want to see the state that has crushed them turned against their enemies.

Reminding “tankies” of the atrocities and betrayals state socialists perpetrated from 1917 on is like calling Trump racist and sexist. Publicizing the fact that Trump is a serial sexual assaulter only made him more popular with his misogynistic base; likewise, the blood-drenched history of authoritarian party socialism can only make it more appealing to those who are chiefly motivated by the desire to identify with something powerful.

-Anarchists in the Trump Era

Now that the Soviet Union has been defunct for almost 30 years—and owing to the difficulty of receiving firsthand perspectives from the exploited Chinese working class—many people in North America experience authoritarian socialism as an entirely abstract concept, as distant from their lived experience as mass executions by guillotine. Desiring not only revenge but also a deus ex machina to rescue them from both the nightmare of capitalism and the responsibility to create an alternative to it themselves, they imagine the authoritarian state as a champion that could fight on their behalf. Recall what George Orwell said of the comfortable British Stalinist writers of the 1930s in his essay “Inside the Whale”:

“To people of that kind such things as purges, secret police, summary executions, imprisonment without trial etc., etc., are too remote to be terrifying. They can swallow totalitarianism because they have no experience of anything except liberalism.”

[ftmsteveraglan]

obliterating the anime boy stick figure william afton truthers by writing him as a fat and scruffy old man. whatcha gonna do when i turn him into a big ass bear of a man who is both fat and sexy as hell. whatcha gonna do

[quartarcade]

I think echo needs to be picked up and held like a little anime animal companion more

[vriskasays]

>fat vriska joke about myself in bio

>post my pretty face and fat ass

>drag homestuck artists for never drawing fat people

>tumblr reccomends me nonstop weightloss ads

>its SO HARD being a hot bitch

[pilesofblanks]

Man sometimes it really feels like im a grown ass truck freak of a (jovial) deep voiced man stuck inside the body of a little teenaged girl

[starwarsanthropology]

👀👀👀👀 about the corries au fic you mentioned in the ask game

-commanderfoxtheshield

KAfjkkjdf okay okay.

So basically the idea is that Coruscant sectors near the Senate where the Corries are centered are FULLLL of working class families who may work long hours esp given how expensive it is to live in the "nice" areas a workable distance from the busy top levels where ppl work as senate aids or in restaurants or hospitals etc etc. Many of those people have kids! They may not be able to afford childcare! A lot of the kids are probably latchkey children who take themselves to and from school and get into trouble when theyre unsupervised.

The corries come into play when someone in the CPD, who deal with missing and lost children and also delinquents, realize that through a loophole, corries can take custody of any individuals under CPD custody if the case has CG involvement or is suspected to be associated with political/military matters.

So between corries being the ones to find lost kids, getting egged by teens, or for literally any kid with a family member who works for the senate OR who expresses seperatist sympathies (including fuck the senate), they end up getting lots of kids foisted on them. They are kids, so obviously they cant put them in lockup, so they just kind of... have them hang around until their guardians pick them up? With little kids its definitely babysitting but the older kids its a very strange interaction where nobody is confident or comfortable or happy abt it until they get closer. Once they start getting "regulars" or "repeats" a couple kids start just showing up after school.

These kids become honorary vod'ike, its very cute, found family and all that. But these kids also have actual families for the most part! Mostly busy families who don't have time, but overall parents who do give a goddamn even though they work long hours and cant be home often. These parents learn about and recognize the value of the corries as people, and some even start to take them under their wing as much as possible. So when the kids mentioned the Fucked Up Nonsense clones and particularly corries deal with, you have, instead of apathy, a bunch of people going, hey what the fuck.

This leads to community suppourt forming to directly help corries w things like food access and medical care, but also cultural shift in the perception of clones. Idk how it would end but just. Yeah corries getting seen as a part of the community rather than a separate entity. You Will see the clones as people and specifically as scared young men who love their siblings and would die or kill for them without hesitation, including now, somehow, your child, and so what can you do but care for them in return?

[dreamings-free]

“On the gig I’m on at the moment - I’m playing with a guy called Louis Tomlinson - we’ve kind of taken some bits from The Who and shoehorned them into some of the songs on this tour so.. we’ve got kinda of a small bit of Baba O’Riley. And then I’m kinda playing elements of this tune we’re about to hear [Won’t Get Fooled Again] within one of the One Direction songs that we play. So I kinda sorta fused.. we kinda fused the original One Direction tune with a bit of The Who and kinda made our own version of it.”

— Steve Durham talking about his influences and about incorporating The Who into Louis’ live set for the Faith In The Future World Tour

Big Fat Five podcast 10/5/24

[spookyvalentine]

mass effect au: sports coach

During the nightmare on Akuze, N7 Mercy Shepard hears of a name--Cerberus. In the aftermath, Shepard joins Alliance Intelligence to lead the hunt for the terrorist group. Lately, children have been going missing from certain schools across the Citadel. Their next mission? Placed undercover at Presidium Academy as the new middle school coach

Nihlus, the high school coach, has never seen such a consistent turnout of parents to not just the games, but the practices too

ART BY ‼️🔥 @naarisz 🔥‼️

canon, crime lord, white collar

fic under the cut!

When James makes it to the park to meet his commander, someone has beaten him.

“I hope to see you around more, coach,” says a quarian that he is nearly very certain is Admiral Shala’Raan. He’d never forget that throaty voice.

“Please,” Mercy says, dimpling. “The kids call me coach. I’m just Mercy to you.” 

“Mercy,” she purrs, it’s insane, really. She gives James lingering once-over as well. “I see someone wants your attention.”

It feels nice, how much they perk up when they notice him.

“James!” They greet, and sling an arm around his shoulders. It takes a lot to make him feel short, and Mercy does it easily and comfortably. “This is James. He’s the coach at Citadel Institute.”

Shala’Raan nods at him, and turns back to Shepard. “I look forward to Tali’s next game.”

“See you then, Admiral,” they reply with a smile.

“Bro, are you serious,” James hisses, uncertain if he’s about to shake his commander like a ramen seasoning packet, or continue gaping after the outrageous set of hips on the quarian aunty swaying off the sports field.

“You should come to one of my practices sometime,” Mercy laughs. “I think there are more parents than kids.”

James believes it, oh boy does he believe it, as Mercy stands in front of him gleaming like a shiny trophy under the floodlights. Being out in the artificial sun has darkened their skin and the freckles have multiplied. They’ve been growing their hair out for this role—brightening into a surfer blonde, and waving thickly to their shoulders.

He’s not even going to comment on their silky little shorts.

“I’ve got my own practices, remember?” James says. “But let’s switch schools, hey? You’ve got the one with all the hot parents.”

Mercy opens their mouth to respond, when James notices Dr. Solus and Dr. Chakwas escorting Jack.

They dart from his side, and runs for her. 

With a holler, they slide to their knees in time for Jack to fling her arms around their neck for a hug.

The two clutch at each other, and Jack looks incredibly tiny in Mercy’s big hands. 

Abruptly Mercy stands, bringing Jack with them. They hold her out by the armpits, with their long arms fully extended to beam up at her, like some Lion King shit—and then swings her around. 

Jack shrieks with delight. 

Some pebbles and bugs rise from the grass in little blue bubbles. 

Mercy guides her into some simple stretches as Jack babbles about her week with the doctors. They correct her form easily, and well, it’s a lot to see such a big body be so flexible. 

He watches as Mercy leads Jack into running a lap together, admiring his commander’s easy loping athleticism. Jack laughs, giggling and tripping a little when they hoot out with joy and starts running circles around her with the ball.

Every time Jack laughs, it’s like a sip of good, cold beer with a fat slice of lime after a hard workout. The first time they finally got that kid to warm up and crack a smile, was also the first time James saw his commander cry.

The pair passes the ball between each other, Jack copying Mercy’s increasingly elaborate tricks sometimes so seriously she locks up rather than be loose—but she’s improved a lot since that last time James saw the kid. 

“Shepard would do well in this career,” Dr. Solus says, as they watch Mercy divebomb Jack with a shout and scoop her up. “If chose to retire from intelligence. Is very good with children.”

And his commander does look right, as they jog up to James and the doctors with Jack sitting on their shoulders. Their hands wrap around the kid’s chubby shins entirely. 

“Time for nachos, yes?” Dr. Solus says, and briskly taps his fingers together 

“Nachos, nachos!” Jack chants, Mercy quickly joining in and bouncing.  

“That can’t be the only thing for dinner,” Dr. Chakwas says, smiling too much to pull off stern. “What else?”

“Mangonadas!” Jack hollers, grabbing fistfuls of Mercy’s hair, which they gamely accept with a wince. 

“Tamales!” She leans down and shouts into their ear. 

His commander has turned down their hearing aid in time, judging by their serene expression. 

“Which ones, mija,” James asks. Is this paternal pride? He would lay the world down at this kid’s feet. “¿Cuáles quieres?”

“De rajas,” Jack says with relish, nailing the accent. “Con queso.”

“I like the ones with raisins,” Mercy hums.

“We’ll get those too,” Jack reassures them, patting their cheeks with her little hands.

[476b]

*thinking about a fat trans gf* i think i h ave couvid

[natugood]

I’ve kept every single vial of T I’ve ever used, and when I have enough I want to make an outline of my body on some wood and glue all of the vials inside until my shape is filled

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2023 - Worst Film

It’s a marvel this category isn’t filled up with superhero films after the year they’ve had. Here are The Aarons for Worst Film:

#10. 65

A Quiet Place screenwriters Scott Beck and Bryan Woods don’t knock it out of the (Jurassic) park with their subsequent Spielberg homage. 65 will have viewers counting down the seconds until they can go home. The science-fiction tale strands stars Adam Driver and Ariana Greenblatt in a B-movie bereft of a reason to see it. The fusion of futuristic tech and ferocious animals should have been easy fodder for frivolous entertainment. Instead, the sluggish pace of the film’s imminent extinction event suggests it wasn’t a meteor or da ice age that killed the dinosaurs; it was extreme boredom. 

#9. Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire

Director Zack Snyder likes to paint himself as a rebel against a restrictive studio system while being constantly given new opportunities without cause. His latest big-budget misfire is a childish mash-up of Star Wars and Seven Samurai. Par for the course, the prosaic director copies his inspirations while completely misunderstanding their objectives. Already, the film’s awkward and abruptly-ended parade of thinly-sketched characters is being billed as another incomplete vision, requiring not just two parts but two cuts of each part to truly fulfill Snyder’s intentions. Maybe his hardcore fans will be pleased at the end of the prolonged journey; everyone else will be over the Moon long before then.

#8. The Exorcist: Believer

From the beginning, the involvement of David Gordon Green inspired little faith in Believer. Sure enough, the director of Halloween kills interest in his proposed trilogy one film sooner than his last. It’s unclear what exactly led the studio to release a sequel fifty years later that’s tamer than a TV edit of the original. It surely couldn’t have been the return of Ellen Burstyn in her Oscar-nominated role of Chris MacNeil given how quickly the film disfigures and discards the character. That said, it may be for the best that she could excise herself from the proceedings before its embarrassing ending. The franchise is no stranger to desecration but, even at its worst, it was never before this uncompelling.

#7. Five Nights At Freddy’s

Topping the box-office may have demonstrated audiences’ appetite for the haunted pizzeria franchise but, make no mistake, the film adaptation of Freddy’s is as run-down as its central establishment. The animatronic mascots at center stage only manage the most pedestrian of jump-scares; they’re far from the only ones just going through the motions. The script, written in part by franchise creator Scott Cawthon, stretches out its thin premise with banal characters and a bizarre child-custody B-plot. It might have been entertaining if it had been any more cheesy. Instead, Freddy’s only serves up an interminable runtime; five nights has never felt so long.

#6. Hypnotic

Hypnotic is aptly named; the thriller from Spy Kids director Robert Rodriguez certainly commands one’s attention. The plot, which revolves around Ben Affleck sleepwalking through a conspiracy involving dueling factions of psychics, is simply too inane to ignore. Rodriguez wrote his initial script back in 2002 but was clearly susceptible to outside influences; the film rips off several works that were released before and since, including the dream-like architecture of Inception. Although the director may pride himself on his low-budget prowess, even he can’t make those knock-off sequences look good (though they’re not the silliest instance of replicating elaborate scenery on a miniscule budget here). The film fulfills its intentions on one front: once it’s all over, audiences will have a hard time believing any of it was real.

#5. Children of the Corn

The latest offspring of the rotten franchise at least had a kernel of a good idea: the remake roots its characters’ motivations in righteous fury at environmental recklessness rather than strictly religious fervor. However, Children never develops this into any kind of sustenance. The horror here is as, ahem, corny as can be, particularly its stale translation of demonic entity He Who Walks Behind the Rows. Director Kurt Wimmer shows no growth as a director since his last film in 2006, the infamous Ultraviolet; the wooden child actors at least have their youth as an excuse. Sadly though, if ranked within the rest of the series, this one would still land in the middle of the row.

#4. Haunted Mansion

2023 was home to many failures for The Walt Disney Company, but none quite as ghastly as the new Haunted Mansion. It’s baffling how a film this overstuffed with actors (including Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, and Danny DeVito among many others) could end up this vacant. Indeed, the biggest throughline of the theme-park adaptation is not its attempted reflection on grief but its pervasive and perverse product placement (One character’s tearful monologue about his dead wife comes complete with a prominent Baskin Robbins namedrop). It’s definitely haunting, just not in the way they hoped for.

#3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

The Big Fat franchise became even more bloated last year with a picture that can most charitably be described as ‘an all-expenses paid trip to Greece for its cast’. There’s certainly no storytelling reason why audiences are still following the adventures of this extended family, which haphazardly include a last-minute wedding of two very minor characters to justify its title. Nia Vardalos finally receives the director’s chair in addition to her regular writing work just in time for there to be no fresh direction to take things in. If she tries to reunite everyone for a fourth go-round, they would be wise to divorce themselves from it as quickly as possible.

#2. Pet Sematary: Bloodlines

Bloodlines resurrects the series last seen in 2019; if this was how it was going to come back, it should have stayed buried. While Stephen King is an imaginative writer, trying to stretch a single chapter of any novel into a feature-length film is like getting blood from a stone. The zombie prequel stumbles its way from scene to scene in search of life, but Bloodlines has nothing for audiences to relate to. Even screen icons like David Duchovny and Pam Grier can’t rouse any interest. Exploiting known franchises may be easy, but, sometimes, making anything else instead is better.

AND THE WORST FILM OF 2023 IS…

#1. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 

Disney slowly losing their stranglehold on intellectual property is a bit bittersweet; Honey is bad enough to sour anyone on the idea of a public domain. The shoddy slasher film, which blustered its way onto the marketplace as soon as the filmmakers could profit from it, is barely recognizable as Pooh but unmistakable as crap. Making the lovable animal into a feral murderer may be legal now, but writer/director Rhys Frake-Waterfield didn’t think, think, think up any other ideas beyond just stirring the pot. Winnie is hoping to prey on one’s curiosity with its premise alone. Word of advice? Don’t bother.

NEXT UP: THE 2023 AARON FOR BEST DIRECTOR!

[betheny-esda]

when i was like 9 my friend told me inuyasha was her favourite show so i tried to catch it on ytv sometimes and asked my parents to tape it for me. my dad saw a scene and deemed it so inappropriate he made me write an ESSAY to explain to him why it was media i should be allowed to watch.