#bi/pan erasure

[awesomechocolatesauce]

So, I found this comment on a video where Neil Newbon, the voice actor of Astarion, confirms that Astarion is, in fact, pansexual. Not gay, but pansexual, and this person still feels the need to try to debunk it, then has the gall to be like "IT FEELS LIKE GAY ERASURE TO MAKE A CLEARLY GAY MAN BI/PAN FOR MARKETING PURPOSES" when they were literally spouting bi/pan erasure just because Astarion is theatrical and talks about men.

So... who's going to tell them that Astarion flirts with Shadowheart and Lae'zel, too? Who's going to tell them that relying on stereotypes is bad?

"It's so weird to watch Astarion romance videos with a female Tav". Well, it shouldn't. He's pansexual. If you can't stomach it, that's your problem.

[bi-dykes]

Feeling salty today 💖💜💙

Part 2

[tippenfunkaport]

"She-Ra is bad bisexual rep because all the bi/pan characters end up in m/f relationships!"

Not true! Perfuma is bi/pan and she ends up with Scorpia!

"Oh, well I like to headcanon Perfuma as a lesbian."

...so then you understand that's not the show's fault, right? That that's just a problem you made up in your head?

-

Excuse me a second, I need to scream about this...

Because this has come up over and over (esp on Twitter and TikTok) with people who want to claim that every bi/pan SPOP character ends up in a m/f relationship... by conveniently pretending Perfuma is not canonically bi/pan herself. And every time they are asked to elaborate why they are ignoring her canon status, they give the same answer: that they consider Perfuma a lesbian because now that she's with a woman, she's "not bi anymore"

And... yeah... you know that's not how it works, right? That being bi/pan is not just a phase you get over? That a bi/pan woman dating another woman doesn't suddenly make her a lesbian any more than it makes a bi/pan person dating someone of the opposite gender magically straight?

The person you are currently dating does not change your bi/pan status. Ever. And insisting it does, especially just so you can score some points by making up an issue about a show to be mad about, is super GD harm harmful to the real bi/pan people in your life.

(This is the exact same thing The Owl House fandom does with Lumity and why Dana had to make Luz present a whole slideshow in the cartoon reminding everyone she is still very much bi even though Amity is a lesbian. TOH fans kept insisting because Luz is dating Amity now, she's a lesbian. Nope. Her and Amity can be married for a billion years and that wouldn't change Luz's orientation.)

"But I heard that someone's roommate's cousin who worked with someone on the show once liked a fanart that showed Scorfuma with the lesbian flag so it's basically canon!"

First of all, the legend of this grows daily and I think it's really telling that this archival obsessed fandom only talks about this mythical like and yet has never been able to produce a single screenshot of it.

But for the sake of argument, let's say that this really happened and actually exists, that someone related to the show, however distantly, liked fanart once that implied Perfuma was a lesbian somehow. That still doesn't make it canon. People related to the show and even ND himself have liked and reblogged all sorts of stuff that isn't canon, including g/a, and have been very clear that the only canon is what happens within the show itself.

And, in the show, Perfuma is canonically bi/pan. We see her crushing on Bow, She-Ra, Huntara and Scorpia. The fact that people want to pretend the Bow thing never happened when he's the only character we see her actually date over the run of the show AND it's a major Season 1 plot point is wild to me and just shows the lengths people will go for bi/pan erasure.

And I get that some people enjoy using Perfuma to tell a story about comphet or coming out as a lesbian later in life and I am fully in favor of doing your thing with your headcanons in fanworks. But when it reaches the point it has now where fans are attacking other fans for saying Perfuma is bi/pan or attacking the show for not having any bi/pan character in same sex relationships when Perfuma is CANONICALLY bi/pan is ridiculous. 

Keep in mind that your headcanon is literally just something you made up in your head. It's pretend. Fun, yes, but NOT something you can use as justification to attack people over!

Especially when it's something like this that causes real world harm by perpetuating harmful stereotypes about bi/pan people being "just a phase" or a temporary state that changes based on who you date.

[bisexualfagdyke]

"lesbian poolverine" guys... I hate to be a bummer but Wade is canonically pansexual & Logan is implied bisexual.... if you genderbend them why would they not just be pan / bi sapphics...? 😭

[assassins-wasteland]

Happy Pride Month to my wife, Vetra Nyx

[prismatic-starstuff]

you know what sometimes self-care is just straight up blocking someone who erases a character's canon pansexual identity

[fruitybowl]

ATTENTION OWL HOUSE FANS

Hunter dating a woman DOES NOT INVALIDATE HIS SEXUALITY.

Willow dating a man DOES NOT INVALIDATE HER SEXUALITY.

Hunter and Willow dating doesn't make them straight, just like Luz dating Amity doesn't make her lesbian. Hunter and Willow dating someone of the opposite gender doesn't change the fact that they like people of both genders. They are and will always be bi/pan no matter what. I will not stand for any bi/pan erasure or bi/panphobia.

[sodomy-enabler]

Honestly the mspec gay/lesbian discourse is so stupid. I'm bi and I don't like being referred to as gay even as a joke, and monosexual q slur taggers loooove to call me and anything/anyone bi gay all the fucking time even after I state this boundary. But suddenly when a couple of bis actually go "wait yeah I am gay and bi, sure why not" (which we have been doing for decades btw) you people react like they're personally trying to put you into conversion therapy

So mspec gays calling themselves that do so because of internalized biphobia, but monosexual gays erasing our bisexuality by constantly calling our explicitly bisexual experiences "gay" ISN'T biphobia? can't have it both ways guys cmon

[syrena-del-mar]

People forget that actors don't owe anybody the knowledge of their sexuality. Whether that be lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, asexual, or any other sexuality. That includes their dating history or who they're currently dating. Actors only owe the public one thing: that they do their job and that they do it well.

If that job consists of partaking in CP/ship culture, consume their media knowing that what they show you in public is curated for you as a fan. If they're dating someone who is not their partner, they're not cheating you; they're not making a mockery out of you or of queer relationships. With ship work, they're simply doing their job how their culture expects them to.

Ship work is not queerbaiting. Living, breathing humans do not queerbait. Queerbaiting comes from a marketing tactic for fictional entertainment work to ensure that they don't alienate their straight audience while also ensuring queer interest. You're consuming BLs and GLs, where the shows deliver in the promised relationships. If you're consuming BL/GL, you should know that fanservice generally follows.

Fanservice works because it's understood to be common practice. It's acting, an extension of whatever series they're promoting. Also, realize that fans often find themselves so invested in a couple that a hug or even a tiny brush of their hands will be considered 'evidence' of a relationship. Friends can flirt, 'lovingly' touch each other, and mess around without it meaning anything.

That's still not queerbaiting.

Because of how advanced technology has become, we have so much access to these actors/actresses. Accessibility does not equal entitlement to know how they identify. Claiming an individual is 'queerbaiting' only causes harm in the long term because you might unknowingly force someone to come out of the closet before they were ever ready to be. This only pushes media/reporters to continuously ask for information that isn't anyone's business to drum up engagement, potentially exploiting them for clicks. There's no need to inquire about their personal life, relationships, or sexuality.

But what if they take cryptic 'couple' photos with someone other than their work partner? Stop searching. Take their social media posts at face value. Stop trying to come up with some 'gotcha' moment, whether that be actually dating their work partner or some other individual. It's their personal life (curated, but still their life); you're overstepping, and if what you find out upsets you, then it's time to pull away.

It's really that simple.

Just because you buy into the fantasy a little too much and invest yourself in the pseudo-relationship does not mean the actors are queerbaiters. At the end of the day, fanservice is just that—a service provided for the fans. In other words, it's a job. Finding out that an actor/actress is dating someone of the opposite sex does not make them queerbaiters. (Also, realize that dating someone of the opposite sex does not signify that they're straight; whether they are or not, it's none of your business.)

If an actor/actress's personal relationships make you so mentally unwell because they're not with the onscreen partner, it just means you've genuinely detached yourself from reality. I mean this sincerely, if you're at this point, find help. Try to learn and understand more about why you're putting so much of yourself into a parasocial relationship. It's unhealthy for you to get so worked up that you feel sick because two coworkers aren't together.

If you find out that you're not a fan of CP work because you feel lied to or cheated, just don't consume it. Simply watch the show, look up their artist profile to see what other works they've been in, and log off. Don't follow them on social media, don't look up their fan meets, or watch video compilations that fans have made for shipping.

You're the master curator of your online consumption.

Curate it.

[tieflingkisser]

kinda fucked up how the queer community seems to generally agree that it's wrong to reimagine canonically gay or lesbian characters as bi/pan but the reverse seems to be seen as fine by many

[bi-dykes]

I am tired of the “either lesbian or pan” notion about Yang. Like when some ppl stop being monosexist and realize that Yang being sapphic doesn’t immediately mean she’s lesbian, she could be bi, they go “oh, she’s pan then!!1!” Like this crowd finally saw the mutlisexual Yang hype and yet! still deny the idea of Bisexual Yang

[tippenfunkaport]

"[Canon Bisexual Character] should have been [gay / lesbian] so they ended up with [Same Sex Character]!"

Wow. That's so interesting! Because there is literally no reason you can't ship that bisexual character with the same sex character as is. No one on earth is stopping you. Bisexual people are attracted to the same sex. You can ship away without changing a single thing about them!

But you keep insisting they should have been lesbian or gay so they could date the same sex and... gosh. It almost seems like... you just hate that they are bisexual!

Huh. Fascinating.

[posi-pan]

Aisha Tyler Confirms Tara Lewis is Pansexual in Criminal Minds: Evolution

The character, who joined the Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) in Criminal Minds season 11, was previously married to Dr. Daryl Wright, and engaged to Doug Fuller in the show, but she is now in a relationship with Rebecca Wilson (Nicole Pacent). When asked about her character’s romance and how she might identify, Tyler said: “I think she’s pan[sexual]. I think that’s really perceptive. “I think that, for Tara, she’s really been married to her work for quite a bit of time, and I think that was satisfying to her. She was someone who really cared about the work and loved the intellectual challenge of doing this really difficult, all-consuming work, and so it’s been a real surprise for her to fall for someone again.” “But, I mean, I love that you said that she’s pan, because I think so much about pansexuality, and I don’t want to speak for pansexual people, [but] it’s just about falling in love with the person, you know what I mean?" Tyler added. “And this is someone who’s really brought her alive, in maybe ways that she didn’t expect to feel, because she’s like, ‘No, relationships aren’t for me, I’m about the work,’ and I love these two characters together.”

💗💛💙

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

SPOILER for Flight of Icarus, I guess. It's really fucking good. I'm hoping that at this point, Eddie's sexuality remains ambiguous because people are focusing on it way too much. Hell, his best friend Ronnie might be a lesbian. WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT? She could also just be asexual and aromantic. There are so many possibilities, and people are ignoring it.

I'm reading Flight of Icarus, and I am halfway through. It's compelling. It's very Eddie, and once again, Eddie being interested in women does NOT make him straight. Bisexuals and pansexuals exist. But this isn't about his sexuality and if you guys stop focusing on that for one minute, you'll realize this is about Eddie and his journey about how he got where he is. Why he thinks so low of jocks, why he got into selling drugs. This is how he flew too close to the sun to try to be a Rockstar, and he tried hard not to be like his father, how he tried so hard to clear his family name. If you look close enough, there are crumbs where he might be into men, but he's deeply closeted, and it's probably because of the way the town treats him. Just because he's been with women doesn't mean that he isn't queer. I didn't realize I was BISEXUAL until much later. I've always thought that it was Eddie, and that might be the case. So say it with me just because he's interested in women, doesn't mean he's not queer. Fucking stop it with the bi erasure and the pan erasure. SPOILER: In the book, he flirted with a male cop and he made a point of noticing jocks muscles. So, yeah, I don't think he knows, and I, 100% think Steve was his awakening.

[shuppyshup]

And yet somehow bisexuals are still in the wrong for calling out the blatant biphobia and bisexual erasure that is the pansexual label? Yeah fuck off. Pansexual is and always will be biphobic and the people who continue to support labels like this are actively contributing to biphobia and bisexual erasure. Not that inclus care cause y’all are happy to call anyone who either disagrees, or has the evidence to back up why mspec labels are so harmful, terfs. Absolutely vile.

[xxcalicofemmexx]

when i call myself a pan lesbian, that is not "bi/pansexual erasure".

i am not erasing myself. i am embracing myself, in all my complexity.

i am looking at the parts of me that are squiggly and jagged, the parts that reject binary, the parts that are at odds and yet complementary, and i am finding a way to fit them together.

i am pansexual and i am a lesbian. i accept myself, and i express that acceptance through prideful declaration. i'll yell it from the rooftops if i have to!

i'm queer, and i'm abinary, and i'm multigender, and i'm pansexual, and i'm a lesbian!

i don't just fit in these boxes, i overfill them! i am vast and contain multitudes, and the overflow of myself and my identity can not be contained in one singular label. and for me to try is for me to erase myself. to shrink myself. to turn my back on my relationship with myself, and what makes me me.

embracing myself as a pan lesbian is not erasure.

someone else trying to trap me in a box i don't belong in, that's erasure.

how is it so hard to see the difference?