#bi gang lets gooo

[culbi]

my farmer with my favorite bi people

[plaindangan]

Plain say that there’s not enough tookyo ??

Time for the gangs to show what they’re made of~

First is shinigami, now that she gained the power to be visible to anyone in both form, who is the first 3 people (1 by 1) she’s gonna surprise by transforming and showing them her ultra puff bod and what will be their reaction ? Jealousy ? Shock ? Calling her mommy ?

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

Yuma

If you'd have thought that the first thing Shinigami wouldn't do was to spawn in naked right in front of an unsuspecting Yuma, glomp him with her naked supernaturally soft super milkers and rub it in his face until even his little 'Head' down there yearned for some of that attention....

Then, seriously, you were not paying attention to Shinigami~ She needed to make it very cleat to every thicc baddie, twink, femboy, hunky stud or Halara-level like catch that Yuma was now permanently off the table and if not jerking his sensitive, yet ultra-thick, shaft until was spewing wasn't the way to do it, then she doesn't know what is...

Oh wait!!

Yes, she does!!!

It's call using her magic to get those balls and cawk of Yuma to swell right back up!!! Enough so that Shini was happily lowering her moist, tight, pussy around it and absolutely fucking the life out of Yuma until he was sure he was spewing out his own soul!!! (Though, at this point, what was a measly soul to being with the Goddess of Death, right?~)

2. Kurumi

Listen...

She totally doesn't like that...decent looking uggo, alright?!! Kurumi Wendy just happened to be in the same spot when she spawned in and it was only natural that Shini decided to throw her a bone and allow this little informant to have some sort of funtime in return...

And what better fun it was than, after teasing her with a body she could never have, use her death goddess power to give herself a dick. A nice, big, foot long, scythe!!! A scythe that Kurumi couldn't help but to jerk off with her own modest chest. It may not be as big as Shinigami's...but even a modest chest proved to be more than capable of causing an eruption of 'ectoplasm' from Shinigami's new cock~

Of course, Shini had to reward her afterward! There's no way she's letting this uggo be as pretty as her!!!...But...maybe she could compromise by making her 'modest' chest into stunningly 'gigantic' to the point her regular shirt ripped from the expansion?~ Yes...that would be perfect!!!

3. Fubuki

THIS!

THIS! BIG! DUMMY THICC! BI-

...

She promised she wouldn't rage when she spawned in...

But she said nothing about hunting this airhead down the first chance she got!! Everything about Fubuki irked Shinigami to no one and she was sick of it! Sick! Sick! Sick! Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

That stupidly oversized jugs that STILL somehow managed todwarf Shinigami's!!! That big, dumm, thicc ass that barely fit in those tights and shorts!!! That stupid ditzy attitude thart still attracted so many goddamned, tasteless, suitors!!!! ERGHHHH!!! STUPID FANSERVICE CHARACTERS MAKE SHINIGAMI SO MAD!!!!

(...She doesn't count as 'stupid fanservice' character - she's clearly a 'bitchy fanservice' character, there is a difference you know!!)

And it was up to show Shinigami Fubuki's place!!! As soon as she could, she warped to Fubuki's hotel room, naked and imposing - expecting Fubuki would bow instantly to her godly aura (and, you know, that aforementioned foot long dick). And, technically, Fubuki did bow...

Problem was that she thought that she wounded up mistaking Shinigami's presence for a dream and began to absentmindedly glomp onto Shinigami's chest. Giviging her tits a fantastic suck and massage, while another of her hand went to put her, surprisingly soft and skilled, fingers to uses tugging on Shini's tall pole. Tugging...and jerking!!! Jerking, jerking, jerking, jerking, jerking, PUMPING!!!

PUMPIIIING!!! SHE WAS PUMING A DEATH GODDESS SO DAMN GOOD!!!! SO....SO DAMN FUCKING GOOO-!!!!!!!!!

....

....

...

So...Shinigami might have covered the entirety of Fubuki's room in about a centuries worth of pent-up virile supernatural gunk (enough that even someone deceased her could probably go out smelling this in the afterlife).

On the flipside, to make up for it, Shinigami pretty much spirited away Fubuki to much cushier spirit world palace instead....

Because a member of her godly harem deserves on the finest living quarters to stay in!!!

[kookies-and-cream-16]

my thoughts and personal headcanons :)

First: those two are gay af

Second: yes (yumyum is a demiboy and uses he/they/it pronouns but still identifies as straight, usop is asexual demiromantic, tubee is bi) (Tubee's back at it again with his absolute swagger)

Third and Fourth: Fonton, Inky, Magnero, Noisy, Quicky, Tubee, and Vincent are all autistic in my mind (Ampoo might be, too, but idk I haven't seen much of him), and Kabo, Quicky, and Spimon all have ADHD (I'm a Vincent kinnie btw; also Tubee plays with his paint drip thing as a stim) I love your headcannons for them, too! However, w h y i s A m p o o s o d i r t y ? If bro wasn't an electrical hazard I'd give his ass a shower

Fifth: that's very interesting, actually. I like it

Sixth: Tooth gap? I have a tooth gap! TOOTH GAP GANG LET'S GOOO-

Seventh: nice

Eighth: NOOOOOO POOR BABY D,: someone give this kid a hug!

MERRY HALLOWEEN PEOPLES!!!

IT’S NOTHING BUT MY MHS HCS

[poisoned-peppermint]

I made dsmp incorrect quotes you wanna see em of course you do here

Bad: *seductively takes off glasses*

Bad: Wow...

Skeppy: *blushes* Haha... what?

Bad: You're really flipping blurry.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is something burning?

Bad, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Skeppy: Bad, the toaster is literally on fire.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Bad: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

George: ....

Dream: .....

Sapnap: ......

Bad: ..Who?

Skeppy: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Bad

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is giving advice to Sapnap*

Skeppy: It's okay to ask for help.

Dream: You're not a burden.

Bad: Murder is okay.

George: Your feelings matter. 

~~~~~~~

Dream: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Sapnap: This knife is actually a magic wand.

George: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Bad: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Skeppy: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~~~~~

Dream: Did you bring Sapnap?

George, gesturing to Skeppy: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Dream: Skeppy? The next best thing would be Bad.

Skeppy: I would be offended, but Bad is freakishly strong.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: You're a lying piece of shit!

George: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Skeppy: I'm leaving and I'm taking Bad with me!

Dream, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: So anyways have y'all seen Bad?

Dream: I think they went in Skeppy's room 'studying'.

George: Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Skeppy's room*

Bad & Skeppy, fighting:

~~~~~~~

Bad: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

George: Elephants.

Bad: Blocked.

Dream: Camels.

Bad: Extra blocked.

Sapnap: Donkeys.

Bad: Ultra blocked.

Skeppy: That dick.

Bad: ...Followed.

~~~~~~~

Bad, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity: I’m this close to falling in love with Sapnap.

Karl: Your fingertips are touching.

Quackity: Exactly.

~~~~~~~

Karl: So how’s the food Quackity made?

Sapnap: It's great! Compliments to them.

Karl: *goes to the kitchen*

Karl: You're adorable.

Quackity: *blushes*

~~~~~~~

Bad: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-

Quackity: Is it about death?

Bad: No.

Sapnap: Is it about drugs?

Karl: Is it about sex?

Bad: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-

Quackity, Sapnap, and Karl:

~~~~~~~

Karl: Made you all playlists!

Karl: Sapnap, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Karl: Quackity, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Karl: And Bad has the ABBA Gold album. 

~~~~~~~

Karl: I give up. I am so tired.

Bad: Get the emergency supply!

Quackity: *carries Sapnap and places them in front of Karl*

Sapnap: *smiles*

Karl: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

~~~~~~~

Karl: What’s the announcement, Quackity?

Quackity: It’s a lecture. Bad’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex.

Sapnap: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Sapnap, you'll be working with Quackity and Karl.

Sapnap: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Sapnap: ...Of people on a team.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.

Karl: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Quackity: One of them punched a gang member.

Karl: Sapnap?

Quackity: Bad, actually.

Karl: Oh, that was going to be my second guess. 

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Karl: Not it!

Sapnap: Not it!

Bad: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

~~~~~~~

Karl and Sapnap: *making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other*

Quackity:

Bad, exasperatedly: We have a guest. 

 ~~~~~~~

Sapnap: I am darkness. I am a power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Karl: A doll.

Quackity: A cinnamon roll.

Bad: A sweetheart.

Sapnap:

Sapnap: ...stop it. 

 ~~~~~~~

Quackity, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Sapnap: Gray.

Bad: Grey.

Quackity, turning to Karl: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Karl: Dark white.

~~~~~~~

Karl: We need to distract these guys.

Bad: Leave it to me.

Bad: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Sapnap & Quackity: *immediately begin arguing* 

 ~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Ant: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Quackity: Tackle them!

Puffy: Dump them.

Velvet: Kick them in the shin!

Bad: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

~~~~~~~

Velvet: Christmas lights?

Bad: Check.

Ant: THermos of hot cocoa?

Bad: Check.

Quackity: Santa suits?

Bad: Check.

Puffy: Shovel?

Bad: Check.

Skeppy: Alibi and bail money?

Bad: Check- wait, WHAT?!

~~~~~~~

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Bad: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Skeppy: ...I did. I broke it.

Bad: No. No you didn't. Velvet?

Velvet: Don't look at me. Look at Ant.

Ant: What?! I didn't break it.

Velvet: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Ant: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Velvet: Suspicious.

Ant: No, it's not!

Quackity: If it matters, probably not, but Puffy was the last one to use it.

Puffy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Quackity: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Puffy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Quackity!

Skeppy: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Bad.

Bad: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Quackity: Bad... Gumi's been awfully quiet.

Gumi: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Bad, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Bad: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Bad:

Bad: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here

~~~~~~~

Velvet: How much you wanna bet Bad got a Lap dance from Skeppy?

Ant: If that happend, Quackity can drink free tonight.

Quackity: As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of Bad receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.

Velvet: Hey Skeppy, did you give Bad a lap dance?

Skeppy: So what if I did?

Velvet, to Ant: I guess Quackity is drinking free tonight.

Skeppy: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-

Bad, entering the room: What the muffin??

~~~~~~~

Bad: Skeppy kissed me!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Bad: It was unbelievable!

Ant: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Velvet: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Ant, get the wine and unplug the phone. Bad, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Bad: Oh, it ended very well.

Ant: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Velvet: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Bad: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Velvet: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?

Bad: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

Ant and Velvet: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Skeppy eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Quackity: Tongue?

Skeppy: Yeah.

Puffy: Cool.

~~~~~~~

Bad: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

 ~~~~~~~

Bad: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FREAKING THREAT.

 ~~~~~~

I will be making a part 2 shortly this is just getting to long

[stardew-shitposterino]

I reblogged once and I’ll do it again. Shane will defend his supposed heterosexuality till death but thinking of that one guy friend in high school still makes him blush to his ears ffs

my farmer (aka me) with my favorite bi people