#bi Mattholomule real

[capitalcorgi351]

Sure I'll start posting dumb sketches here

[lizard-dumbass]

Alright so the TOH brainrot has come back in full force after the finale came out so now i too am making one of them lists of things that i liked/stuck out to me. Also sorry if this ends up just being a bunch of incoherent nonsense

HOLY SHIT TITAN!LUZ. the design is so cool what more can i say. Furthermore,

HOLY FUCK LUZ DIED????? i was so not expecting that and good lord was it heartbreaking. Eda and King's reaction to Luz's death were also heartbreaking, and so was the Collector finally realizing what death really is. And oh my god puppet!Camila crying as the balls of light pass by her, showing us that she has had the realization that her daughter died. After the grief and trauma of losing Manny, Camila and Luz had a heart to heart which made their bond stronger than ever, only for Camila to lose Luz aswell.

LUZ SAID THE THING! NOW EAT THIS SUCKAAAAAA!!!!!

THE BOILING ISLES IS BIGENDER BABY! i honestly love the titan so much now. His bad girl coven t-shirt and glyph pants and dad-bod are absolutely everything. (Also what's with the little hooty worm sticking out of her eye socket??)

The goddamn bread pun 😭 that warms my heart so much

The raeda in this episode was IMMACULATE. I was really hoping for a kiss but i'm still happy with what WAD gave us. The loving stares, Raine's absolute joy when Eda and Titan!Luz came to their rescue in the throne room, the hugs and nuzzles, the cuddling in their new nest, etc. They seem so relaxed and happy at the end. The world has been saved and now they can finally live their lives together and rekindle their relationship. Oh and how could i forget the EARRING SWAP!! they're wearing eachother's earrings!!! I've seen quite a few ppl interpreting the exchanging of earrings/jewelry as a marriage custom in the demon realm, implying that Eda and Raine are married in the timeskip. I never cared much for the idea of raeda getting married but you know what? I like this headcanon.

Raine whistling raine's rhapsody/eda's reqiuem.

Hunter is a palisman carver! And he has a new palisman! Apparently the little blue jay's name is Waffles and that's just adorable.

Raine also has a palisman now and it's a little fox! I wonder what their name is though.

The entire hexsquad has matching Flapjack tattoos! Also Flapjack's grave, that gave me so many feels. But im so happy to see how Hunter has healed!

Harpy Lilith!

Eda is the principal of a school now?

Eda's hook arm! Also just everyone's new outfits/appearances in general. I love Raine's fully white hair and their scars and their outfit just oozes gender. I love Luz's outfit and punk eyeliner. I love Amity's hairstyle. I love how Lilith kept her short ginger hairstyle. I love Gus's new hair and his little beard. I love Willow's shorter hair and sporty outfit. Mattholomule has a real mustache now!

Fuck yeah they figured out how to remove sigils so now the BI residents can do magic like the Titan really intended!

Aladarius canon??

Everyone reuniting with their dads. Amity running to Alador whilst Odalia just stands at the side with an annoyed face. Fucking priceless. Willow's dads kissed on screen! Hunter thinking no one would be there for him only for Darius and Eberwolf to show up and accept him into their family. my heart 😭❤️

Eda and Camila finally got to meet!

Luz reuniting with King and Eda made me sob so unbelievably hard.

Luz and Vee graduated together!

Luz goes to college in the demon realm!

I thought she was giving all her Azura stuff away at first but i think she's actually bringing it all with her to college.

I love everything about Luz's quinceañera (or should i say KING-ceañera)

I love the very last part where every character we've come to know and love over these 3 wonderful years (except Odalia lmfao) say "Byeee!" to the audience. What a perfect way to end this series.

I think that's it lol i have so many thoughts

[imhumanguysiswear]

Still doing that ask game? If you are.... Hunter.

Ok so i am very tired but will do!

1- my favorite thing about them:

Hunter, do I have to say more?

2- my least favorite thing about them:

How he treated King in s2 e1.

3- My favorite canon relationship:

Luz and Hunter: these two are siblings your honor

4- My favorite non canon relationship:

Hunter and mattholomule: he’d give him the talk the instant he approaches Gus I know it as a fact

5- The sexuality I headcanon them:

Bi!

6- What I’d do if I could spend the day with them:

Ask to spar and get my ass beat and watch Start Trek while making theories

7- Random fact about them I like:

My boy is the elite of the emperor coven but he recognized the fake Willow by “no hey the real one could beat me up”

[lollytea]

I have no idea if this has been asked yet, but I would like to know how long you spent on headcanons for the BI crew's heights... and also how tall you think they end up being (Gus being a giraffe in all but name being a no-brainer)

I cannot say for certain how long I have spent thinking about heights, only that on many occasions I have zoned out for several minutes racking up height charts in my head. It's definitely weird in the show cuz all the teen characters are so much shorter than the adults, probably to strongly emphasise how much younger they are but like. Because this is stupid I have elected to ignore it. This isn't the case with real life teens. By this stage, they've finished most of their growing and are gradually beginning to catch up to their parents. So, I take creative liberties in headcanoning the teens as having normal heights for their age without making all the adults freakishly tall.

Willow, at age 15, is as tall as she's gonna get. The growth spurts have ceased and desisted. Very ironic for the girl whose talent is making things grow. She is 5'3 and she will be 5'3 forever. So like. Shorter than average but not tiny yknow? However she is the shortest of the five of them which makes her tiny by default.

Amity is currently 5'4 but she always wears heels that give her some extra height. They seem very important to her goth aesthetic so I can't ever see her letting the heeled boots go. If anything they'll just get taller as she gets older. I see her growing a little bit more and stopping at liiiiiike. 5'5 1/2. However nobody will ever truly know because she would rather die than wear flats.

Luz is a tall girl. She's 5'5 at 14 but she's due to grow like a weed in a few months. She'll stop at somewhere between 5'8-5'9. Very bendy noodle girl. All arms and legs. While she's still adjusting to the growing stage, her knees and elbows become the bane of her existence. She is constantly knocking things over cuz she forgets how long her limbs are. But on the bright side her arms are the perfect length for hugging multiple people at once. She's not into heels while Amity is, so their actual height difference isn't noticeable but when Amity's boots are off, they are both the perfect height for effortless forehead kisses.

At 16, Hunter is 5'7 and is probably the kind of kid who is constantly measuring himself, excited if he grows even a quarter of an inch. Like he is dreaming of that 6ft status. Unfortunately it was not meant to be. Hunter goes through one final growth spurt at 17 which brings him to an impressive 5'9 1/2. So like. He IS miffed he never got as tall as he wanted but it ain't half bad. He's a stickler for technicalities except for this very special case where he will tell people he's 5'10. However Luz is usually around to rat him out.

And Gus, my beloved Gus. 5'2 at age 13 and then practically rockets to the heavens in one final explosion of witch puberty. I wanted him to be really tall cuz I think the idea of the group baby outgrowing everybody is so funny. Same goes for King buuut he will be....taller than 6'3....

Anyway Hunter considers this a personal betrayal. Gus thinks his rage over it is the funniest shit ever.

(BONUS: Mattholomule never goes beyond 5'1 and when he and Gus walk side-by-side, they look like a fucking comedy duo. And they are <3)

[pra370r1an]

The final (joke) chapter. Whole chapters under the cut

“There it is,” King Lilith gazed at the castle in the distance. “Camelot!”

“Camelot!” Ser Willow breathed.

“Camelot!” Ser Gus called in wonder.

“It’s only a model…” Eda remarked.

“Shush!” King Lilith quickly commanded. “Now let us ride! To Camelot!”

 “We don’t have a Lord,” Hooty said.

“What?” King Lilith asked.

I told you!  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune!  We're taking turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,” King the fox explained. “But all the decisions *of* that officer has to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in-”

“Shut up, would you?” King Lilith sternly said. “I get it.”

“Shut up, eh? Who does she think she is?” Hooty asked before resuming playing in the dirt. “Some lovely dirt over here King!”

“I’m your King,” Lilith said.

“Well, I didn’t vote for you,” Hooty replied.

“You don’t vote for kings,” King Lilith explained. “The Lady of the Lake held aloft Excalibur and decreed a divine mandate that I would be King.”

“Listen,” King the fox explained. “Strange women laying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!”

“Be Quiet!’ King Lilith demanded.

The fox continued, “I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!”

Lilith reached down and picked King up by the scruff of the neck, shaking the fox. “Will You SHUT UP!?”

“Ahh! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!” King smugly said. “COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!!” He announced as he was shook, “HELP! I’M BEING REPRESSED!”

King Lilith dropped the fox and stormed away, “Damn Peasant!”

“See!? See!?” King looked at the small crowd around him. “That’s what I’m on about! You saw her repressing me, right!?”

 The evil Greater Basilisk looked around, “Wait, where did that knight go?”

*Scene change*

“Brave Ser Matt ran away” the bards sung as they followed their knight through the woods.

“No!” Ser Mattholomule objected.

“Bravely ran away away.”

“I didn’t!”

“When danger reared its ugly head, he boldly turned his tail and fled.”

“No! I didn’t!”

 “Tell your master that we’ve been charged by God to seek the holy grail! And he may join us if he’d like!” King Lilith shouted up towards the walls.

“Well, I will, but I’m afraid he’s already got one!” The man shouted back in his accent.

“What?” King Lilith asked.

“He said he’s already got one?” Ser Luz glanced around to see if she heard right.

“You already got one!?” King Lilith inquired.

“Oh, Yes! It’s very nice!” Belos turned and whispered to Kikimora, the Golden Guard and Warden Wrath. “I told her we already got one!” The three broke out in giggles.

“Well, can we come up and look?”

“Of course not! You are English types and this is a French Castle!”

“What are the French doing in England?” Ser Luz shouted up.

“Mind your own business!” Belos shouted. “Now I don’t want to talk to you no more! So go away English King and take your silly English Keniggets!”

“Listen, is there someone else we can talk to!?” Ser Luz shouted up.

“No! Now go away before I taunt you a second time!”

 “We found a witch! May we burn her!?” the angry mob shouted.

“I’m not a witch!” Bo yelled back. “They just say I am!”

“But she’s dressed like one!” Kat shouted, pointing towards her pointy hat.

“You are dressed like a witch,” Ser Bump ceded the point.

“Yes, but they dressed me like this!” Bo yelled, she pointed to her pointy nose. “This isn’t even my real nose!”

Ser bump examined the fake nose and turned to the crowd, “Is this true?”

“No! No! … Well, yes. Maybe. But she really is a witch!” Amelia insisted.

Bo looked to Ser Bump in exasperation.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out! Now, how do you know she’s a witch?” Ser Bump asked.

“She turned my head into a giant eyeball!” Eyeleen accused by pointing.

“AN EYEBALL!?” Ser Bump looked in shock at the girl’s completely normal looking head.

“…I got better…” She looked around awkwardly.

“Burn Her!” Somebody shouted and the rest of the mob took up the yell.

 “There it is!” Eda pointed over their cover towards the creature by the cave.

“What behind the bunny?” Ser Willow asked.

“No, it is the bunny!”

…

“You silly sod!” King Lilith scolded as she stood from her hiding place.

“What?”

“You had us all worked up over a bunny!?”

“That’s no ordinary bunny! That rabbit has a vicious streak a mile wide!”

“HOW!?” Ser Gus asked incredulously.

Eda held her hand like a claw, “It’s got huge sharp, uhh…” She held her hands slightly apart, “It can leap about…” She pointed back towards the cave opening, “Look at the bones for God’s sake!”

“Right,” King Lilith gestured to a nearby knight. “Ser Snaggleback, cut its head off!”

Ser Snaggleback strode forward unafraid, “One Rabbit stew coming uAUGHHH!!”

“Holy!” “Jesus!” “Christ!”

“Run Away!” King Lilith shouted.

 Ser Luz held her shield protectively before her, as the denizens of Castle Anthrax slowly approached. Before her, the co-leader of this strange place informed Luz what was expected of her.

“And then! You must Spank her!”

“I’m sorry?” Ser Luz looked bewildered. “What?”

“She has been extremely naughty and you must spank her. Then? Spank me!”

“And me!”

“Me too!”

“Yes, you must spank all of us!” The woman gestured around to the beautiful women surrounding Ser Luz. They all looked thrilled at the prospect.

“I’m sorry, is this story too graphic?” Luz asked. “I was really worried when pra370r1an was writing it. But I think it turned out alright considering we’re all adult knights.”

“I mean at least my scene played with my mannerisms and my favorite minion’s name to craft a funny situation,” King said.

“And my joke was original and wasn’t a blatant rip-off of a movie from the 70s,” Eda mentioned off hand, Owlbert nodding on her shoulder.

“At least they didn’t mention the Moose?” Ser Willow mentioned, Ser Gus looking away horrified.

“Can we just get this over with?” Amity said looking annoyed, purposely looking away from the scene.

“Yes, get on with it,” Emira agreed.

“Yeah, hurry up!” Edric rolled his eyes.

“Ewch ymlaen ag ef!” The bearded huntsman from chapter 5 yelled, the fish hook servant and tall servant nodding in agreement.

“Get On With It!” King Lilith and her knights all shouted together.

“Oh, good! I promise this is the last bit of absurdist humor in this fic!” Luz smiled.

“GET ON WITH IT!” The cartoon depiction of God shouted from the heavens, shaking the view.

“Right, so…”

“Well,” Ser Luz looked around. “I guess I could stay for another night…?”

Behind her a door burst open and three armored knights rushed in, putting themselves between Ser Luz and the women.

“Ser Luz!” Ser Boscha took her arm.

“Boscha?”

“Quick!” Ser Boscha pulled her back towards the door.

“What?!”

“Quick! You’re in mortal danger!”

“What, I am?”

“No, she isn’t!” One of the women insisted.

“Silence foul temptress!” Ser Boscha raised her sword, only for Luz to grab her arm.

“That’s not necessary!”

“Come on! We’ll cover your escape!” Ser Boscha started pushing Luz back. The other knights retreated as well and the women followed.

“Boscha! I think I can tackle this singlehandedly!”

“Yes, let her tackle us!” The women shouted.

“No, Ser Luz! Come on!”

“No really! I can handle this easily!”

“Yes, she can! Quite easily!” The women agreed.

“There’s only 150 of them!” Ser Luz shouted as she was forced through the door.

“Yes, we haven’t a chance! Ahh, Shit.” They stopped as the knights followed Ser Luz out.

Ser Boscha continued to hold Luz’s arm, dragging her away from the castle. As they continued to argue.

“Looks like we got here in the nick of time! You were in great peril!”

“I really don’t think I was.”

“Yes, you were, terrible peril.”

“Tell you what? Let me go back and face that peril.”

“No, too perilous.”

“Just a little bit of peril?”

“Nope! Not healthy.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a homophobe.”

“I am not!”

  Eda held up her dismembered hand while shrugging, “It’s only a flesh wound.”

 “Ser Boscha! You came to rescue me!”

“Lady Skara!” Ser Boscha looked around wildly, lowering her sword. “You’re the one getting married against your will?”

“Oh, it’s just like the stories! I feel like I could… could!” Skara opened her mouth to sing. Disembodied romantic music started to hum around them…

“STOP THAT, STOP THAT!” Skara’s father came in, wildly waving his hands and the music died back down. “Who are you?”

“I’m your daughter!” Skara answered.

“Not you! You! Did you kill all those guards?”

“Uhh, oh! Yes,” Ser Boscha nodded awkwardly. “Sorry.”

“You killed 8 wedding guests and the groom and his father! And wounded 20 others!”

“Yes, uhh, sorry about that. Got a bit carried away there,” Boscha looked back at Skara briefly. “I can explain. See I was riding from Camelot…”

“Camelot? You’re uhh, from Camelot?”

“Umm… Yes?”

“Oh, well! Would you like a drink?”

“Oh, that’s awfully kind of you,” Ser Boscha allowed herself to be led away by Skara’s father.

“Yes, but to apologize for the damages you’ll have to stand before everyone…”

“Oh, uhh understandable.”

“…And repeat some vows from a priest…”

“Uhh, sure?”

“And kiss my daughter…”

“Wait, what?”

 “Halt! I am Tibbles! Guardian of the Bridge of Death! You must answer my questions to see the other side!”

“Ask your questions I’m not afraid!” Eda defiantly said.

“What is your name? What is your quest? And WHAT… is your favorite color?”

“Oh! Uhh, Eda of Camelot, I seek the holy grail and red.”

Tibbles waited a second before waving her along, “Alright off you go.”

“Oh, thank you,” Eda said as she started to cross the bridge.

“That’s it! That’s Easy!” Ser Mattholomule shouted as he moved up. “Ask me the questions, bridge keeper. I’m not afraid!”

“What is your name? what is your quest? And WHAT… is the capitol of Assyria?”

“Ser Matt! To find the Holy grail. And, uhh… Istanbull?”

Ser Matt was flung violently into the air by an explosion sending him tumbling into the ravine with a scream.

King Lilith and Ser Bump shared a look before the King stepped forward.

“What is your name? What is your quest? And WHAT… is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

Lilith paused before answering, “What do you mean? African or European?”

“I don’t know that,” Tibbles said before being violently flung to his doom.

“How do you know so much about swallows?” Bump asked.

“You have to know these things when you’re King,” Lilith said as they moved to cross the bridge.

They got to the other side, but Eda was nowhere in sight.

“Eda? EDA?! Now where did she get off to?”

*Scene change*

Eda had her hands against a cop car while Police bobby Kikimora patted her down for contraband.

 “My Brave Knights! We will take this Castle by Force! Now Follow Me! To GLORY!” King Lilith and Ser Bump charged with swords drawn, a massive army following them with a shout.

They made it a few feet closer to the castle’s walls when sirens announced the cop cars which slid to a halt in front of them.

“That’s them! They’re the ones who left the Coven!” Kikimora shouted as she emerged from the lead car.

“Alright, you two are under arrest,” Police bobby Belos directed. “Put that sword down and turn around.”

“Now wait a minute,” Lilith said as she was turned around and handcuffed. “I think there’s been a mistake!”

“Alright! Nothing to see here people!” The Golden Guard waved the army back. “Everyone go home now! Keep it moving!”

“Hey, You!” Warden Wrath advanced menacingly. “Stop Your Writing! Stop it Now!” He continued to shout as he reached out towards Pra370r1an to slap his hands away from th-..-_>--.-;’.-

 “On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot…” King Lilith decided, thinking on the many show tunes probably being sung right now. “Tis a silly place…”

Her knights nodded in agreement.