#beyond any possible algorithm

[russellmoreton]

DSC_0961 Poetic Imagination/Images by Russell Moreton

[evilvillain123456789]

For the first 290,000 years of our species' existence, there was only "Pissing", and the state of human behavior remained static. But 10,000 years ago, "Shitting" was invented, catalysing a sort of, algorithmic explosion of innovation. The developed human animal became totally changed, unrecognizable to his primitive ancestors, with greater and greater behavioral mutations occurring in each passing generation.

Scientists have theorized that another quantum leap is possible-- another seismic shift in the very nature of humankind. Perhaps this transformation, could propel us beyond the confines of our planet, or render our bodies obsolete as we metamorphose into beings of pure, conscious energy. But, let's be realistic. The technologies that now surround us, for all the comfort and convenience they afford, also pose a terrible existential threat. In a world overburdened by remorselessly extractive industry, destroying ecologies and human bodies alike, such unprecedented development could create a hell on earth, now unfathomable to even our darkest imaginings-- it could even be our undoing.

Theoretical scientists, are calling this hypothetical third process, name of "Cumming". And, whetehr for good or ill, they now believe "Cumming", could be developed at any time.

[sevenop]

Billie Eilish x Fem!reader: And The GRAMMY Goes To…

A/N: And even though you may be incredibly comfortable with Billy in every possible way, singing is kind of taboo. You've never sung in Bill's presence due to your shyness, but everything changes when you're so absorbed in the music in your headphones while cleaning that you don't notice her return. And you sing. Singing her songs, dressed head to toe in her stuff. Eilish goes crazy.

You're always looking forward to being alone. No, not that your feelings for Eilish are a theatrical sham, absolutely and categorically not. It's just that singing next to the seven-time winner of the prestigious Grammy Music Awards is pure suicide for your sense of confidence, despite all the mind-blowing love you have for O'Connell herself. "Made worse" by cohabitation, because living with a girl who has great taste in music and who has music playing literally twenty-four by seven in her house is a factor that clearly doesn't make it any easier to hide your little secret. So yes, you do look forward to being alone, even though you feel genuinely sad when Billie isn't around.

Literally a month has passed since the last time, and you're thanking all the gods when Eilish suddenly calls up the label to sort out some sort of issue with the promo that has started. With the recent release of third album, it's almost impossible to hold back the smile at the moment of forgiveness: the excitement is still bubbling in your blood, reinforced by the realization that you can sing your new favorite songs at the top of your lungs without any embarrassment.

"Are you up to something?" - the blue seas opposite look at you with warmth, and the smile on your face is beautiful mirrored on her face. Billie has always been perceptive and empathetic.

"Nothing but cleaning."

"Am I allowed to start being jealous of my dirty clothes yet?" - Eilish quirks an eyebrow upward skeptically, but the smile never leaves her face. - "I've never seen people so excited about cleaning."

A gentle kiss on aquophore-covered lips, a whisper in her ear asking for a quick return and you are beyond suspicion - the obsidian-black Dodge is riding, leaving you alone with your only devoted accomplice in the face of Shark. The phone screen flashes a green Spotify icon almost instantly. Your time has come!

×××

"Come on, boy! Sing along with me!"

And even if you don't hear the dog barking in the noise of the music that beats in ear headphones, him contented muzzle and actively wagging tail are more than eloquent. Having bravely dealt with dirty things, you suddenly found that you temporary have nothing to wear, so you borrowed the first oversize shorts and a colorful T-shirt from Eilish's wardrobe. Next tasks - dusting, loading the first batch of washed clothes into the dryer, and mopping the floors, what are you doing now. The last item on your makeshift list. Euphorically singing the last track, playing the third album for the second time, you release your playlist into free swimming, controlled only by Spotify algorithms. After a couple of trucks, you hear a familiar rhythmic thrill and a languid exhale - "Oxytocin". So good.

Shark hurriedly runs somewhere, but you don't pay it any mind, only intercepting the mop handle like a microphone stand.

×××

"My girl, I'm home!"

It's the only thing Billie says before she stands frozen at the doorway to the living room. Her hand intercepts the car keys she'd been coquettishly twirling on her index finger at the last moment, for the sudden sight before her is far more coquettish and startling. Shark barks happily, running up to her, causing Billie to shush the pet with a hasty shush. Her hands immediately fumble for her cell phone in her shorts pocket - it's a sin not to capture at least a few seconds.

"Cause as long as you're still breathing, don't you even think of leaving," you sing languidly, almost touching the handle of the improvised microphone with your lips.

Billie only swallows, realizing the hot knot between her legs tightening the longer she watches your performance. In her eyes are hungry blue flames, ready to lick you from head to toe. The impulse to strip you of her own clothes, so insanely appropriate for you but interfering with her contemplation now, is interrupted by a clever idea. Her phone dives back into her pocket. A few hurried steps outside of your attention and she's already at the rack of numerous statuettes, a few more and you almost gasp at the last words of the song, seeing the weighty Grammy statue right in front of you, clasped in her hand, followed by the feeling of Eilish pressing against your back. Insanely close. Insanely hot. Your hands grip the phone shakily, poking at 'stop' and the mop promptly sheds to the floor, hitting audibly. You've been caught red-handed.

"I think this is rightfully yours, girl," Billie whispers and grins deftly into your ear, interlocking your fingers on the cold gold of the gramophone.

"Billie, I-"

"Shh, you better tell me how long it's been since I've known about this," her tongue makes a hot stroke on the curl of your ear, biting down gently on the lobe, catching your ragged exhale with pleasure, - "How many concerts have I missed already, Y/n?"

You're at a loss, not knowing what to say. Eilish's hands, tugging at the edges of her own T-shirt, which you're wearing, don't seem to be helping you concentrate. Oh yeah, add to that the fear that you might drop Grammy on the floor right now if she continues.

"I... I can't exactly say, I do this whenever... when you're not around, I'm sorry."

Eilish's hands only lead higher, up to your chest, placing a hickey on your neck with some mysterious throaty purr and licking it off immediately, burning you with her heated breath. You reflexively give her more access.

"Wow, how much did I miss," - the bite on your collarbone, your new quiet moan, - "Can I count on a private concert?".

The three tattooed fairies on her left arm flicker, barely releasing your gaze downward - the knot on her your shorts immediately comes undone, giving her easy access.

"Sing to me, Y/n. Sing all my songs."

And you sing. Only for her. In bedroom, mixed lyrics with moans.

[areallybadtumb]

To any transgender person that is worried for their life, there is hope!

These are pictures from a Trans Rights rally at Purdue University at Lafayette today. HUNDREDS of students showed up and people not even going to Purdue showed up.

Citizens from Lafayette and beyond, students from all parts of the world, and even PASTORS from local churches came out to show their support for trans people and the LGBT+ community as a whole

If people are willing to come out and support trans people they don’t even know, image what they would do for people they DO know. You matter, you specifically, you are loved, and don’t you dare forget it, because you are worth it, these people all care about you enough to fight for you.

Like and reblog and do whatever else the algorithm needs you to do because we need to give as many trans teens hope as possible. the current wave of legislation is so depressing, I can only hope that I reach at least one person. If you want to message me, I am open talk at any time. I already know I would love to meet you! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[beanmachine69]

can you please right a lance stroll fic where they both love each other but don’t know it yet?

Blankets | Lance Stroll

The season had ended, it was early December and as per tradition, your families were in their cabin in the mountains. It was a silly cliche, but over the years you’d grown to look forward to it, especially since Lance started his f1 career and you two would rarely get to relax together like you usually would. Having grown up around each other, you two were practically inseparable; falling into all the childhood best-friend categories you could find. You’d support his career as much as you could, cheering him on from home and sometimes the paddock- you two were seen so often together that at some point some dating rumors had sprung up too.  

You had known Lance all your life, you two had spent most of your childhood together. He was almost two years older than you, which made you the youngest of the bunch and though Chloe always treated you like a little sister, hanging out with her wasn’t always an option because of the major age difference. Your families had been together for generations, your fathers being family friends since they were kids themselves too- the Strolovich family feeling like your own second home. 

“Fires’ nice and warm outside.” Your mother commented, passing the lounge to reach the kitchen, “You two sure you wanna stay here in front of the TV?” 

“Yeah, I’m not in the mood to hang out with my drunk father, that's your job.” You replied, eyes still plastered on the large screen in front of you. 

“You both become the same person when you’re drunk y’know.” Lance mumbled, eyes not moving to look at your phony expression of betrayal.

You playfully shoved him away from you, only for him to bounce back and press his side against you again. You two were always close, having had very little physical boundaries around one another as you grew up. You’d had plenty of cozy moments, none of them meaning anything more than what they were to either one of you. Albeit, this proximity would look far more romantic than platonic to strangers, you two had learned to keep it reserved for private spaces, the last thing you needed were more rumors for Lance to have to deal with later.

Movie nights at the cabin were more than what the rest of your families had understood them to be. You could still recall how you two would bond over these nights, and how often you’d whisper secrets to each other in the blanket- secrets that neither of you would have the guts to share face-to-face. You had told Lance about your awful first kiss while some silly 90s’ comedy movie played, and he had told you about his first failed talking stage while you both rewatched Criminal Minds for the millionth time. These shared moments under the blanket and in front of the TV were sacred to the both of you, it was like a little safe space for any and all confessions, it was these moments which made your bond so inseparable; under the blankets, with the faint light of the television seeping through the fabric to illuminate the cozy space as the conversation was muffled from others by the blanket and the background noise- it was a weird tradition, but one which you both cherished. 

You didn’t mind horror movies, or the genre in general, but perhaps binging a bunch with Lance late into the night in a cabin far from civilization wasn’t the best possible idea. So there you were now, afraid in your bed after having been forced by the instagram algorithm to continue your horror binge, alone in your room with all the curtains drawn out of the fear of a mountain creature. Your fear was irrational, you had no reason to be as scared as you were, but it still managed to keep you from falling asleep. You decided if you were going to be consumed by a horror beyond human comprehension, you might as well get a snack before doing so. 

The walk downstairs to the kitchen was frightening enough, but now you could hear the wind a lot clearer now, and every breath that escaped you seemed to sound unlike your own, your own shadow frightening you with every surface that it fell on. As you began to eat the chips you and Lance had bought earlier, your mind managed to consume itself in more theories and possibilities- kidnapping, demonic possession, a gruesome death by the hands of a wendigo, could Slenderman be here somewhere?-

“What are you doing up?”

Those five words were enough for your brain to completely haywire, accepting all possible scenarios to be true all at once, your flight or fight response kicked in, making you scream and drop your chips. Not particularly fight or flight, but it was something, in the case of any of the terrifying scenarios you had pictured earlier to come true, this would have possibly been the last sign of you your family or friends would have heard. 

“Jeez, why are you screaming?” Lance laughed, aware of how his efforts to spook you had worked out. 

“Oh my God Lance, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” You scolded, shoving him in the arm. 

Your hand was on your chest, feeling your heart pounding from the sudden burst of adrenaline. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d shit yourself.” Lance continued to laugh, clearly finding amusement in your reaction. 

You rolled your eyes as you tried clearing up the little mess you made by dropping the chips on the floor; Lance stayed in the kitchen, wordlessly grabbing you a replacement and one for himself too. You two stood there, not saying a word, only looking at the remnants of the fireplace outside as you finished your snack. 

“It’s really cold.” You mumbled, eyes on the burnt out logs. 

“Hm? Yeah.” He replied, moving his eyes from the window and back to you. 

The kitchen was dimly lit, with neither of you bothering to turn on any more lights than the countertop lighting that was already on. It was cozy, but for some reason the house was still cold despite the central heating. There was a dense silence between you two, your breathing being a silent acknowledgement of the other person, it was comfortable to be in someones’ presence and not feel the need to fill the space with words. 

“I can’t sleep.” Lance sighed, breaking the silence and prompting you to turn around to face him instead of the window.

“What, you scared?” You asked, teasingly nudging him a bit. 

His features looked enhanced in the dim light of the kitchen. You were never one to pay attention to how his face looked in different lighting, but the scarce light emitting from the below the cabinets and above the counters deepened his features; his brows almost seemed to cast a shadow over his dark eyes, making them seem black almost, the light shadows under his cheekbones and jaw seemed to be darkened in the sparse lighting- he almost looked intimidating to you for the first time. He didn’t seem like the pleasant and joyful friend you knew, but some serious and solemn man for a moment, only for a fleeting moment did you see that version- momentarily you quite literally saw him in a different light. 

“Shut it, do you wanna go upstairs? You could hang out in my room for a bit.”

The moment passed faster than it had appeared, making you question whether it had ever appeared or not.

“Sure.” 

Lance propped himself against the headboard, watching you as you sat across from him on the chair. The room was surprisingly cold too, was the heater not working or were you just cold?

“You never told me about that date you went on by the way.” Lance asked, putting his phone away from him; a gesture he did often to indicate his undivided attention was directed at you.  

“Which one?” You asked, not recalling any dates in the past few weeks. 

You brought your legs up on the chair, closer to your chest in order to prevent the cold you were feeling. His eyes followed your movement, tracing every bend and taking into account all of the little gestures you made, including the little hook your fingers made when you were confused.

“Y’know that stupid date your friend set you up with? The IT guy from the US?” Lance probed further, reminding you of an old date which you had successfully forgotten all about. 

“Oh that’s old stuff.” You mumbled, arms wrapping around your knees. 

“Yeah we haven’t really got a chance to sit down and talk for a while.” 

“I guess…” You trailed off, distracted by the surprise you felt by how cold it was and how Lance seemed to just not care for it. 

“So, the date?” 

“Right, yeah no it went fine, but I don’t know he just wasn’t it.” You replied, shrugging and sparing him the details. 

Lance pouted a bit, before adjusting his posture so he was lying down more than sitting up and patting the sheets next to him.

“Come on, you’re clearly freezing.” He noted, steering the conversation to a completely different route. 

You didn’t think much of it, you two would sleep in the same bed plenty of times when you were kids, it wasn’t odd at all. Even now, when Lance would crash at your house he’d sleep in your bed next to you- it wasn’t odd it was just the comfort you two had with each other. So when you crawled under the sheets and scooted closer to Lance, the both of you ignored the way your eyes locked for a moment.

“So, what was wrong with him? What made him not it?” 

Aversion. That’s what one would call it; he averted his eyes and changed the topic, that moment where your eyes locked as you moved closer to him under his sheets in his bed was nothing but a fleeting moment. 

“I don’t know Lance, he just wasn’t my type.” 

“I thought you said you didn’t have a type.” 

“I don’t… it’s just that I guess I hate having to get to know people romantically, it just seems like such a bother. Plus, remember the hell I had to be put through the last time that happened?”

Your ex wasn’t the peachiest person imaginable; he was manipulative and constantly accusing you of having a more complex relationship with Lance than you would admit to. “You two look at each other like nothing else matters, you don’t even look at me like that!”, accompanied often with several “There’s no way you two are just friends!”. His words hadn’t affected the friendship you had with Lance, obviously, but it did put a damper on the amount of time you two would spend with each other. In the end it truly wasn’t worth it considering he cheated on you with his own best friend. 

“God, he was a dick.” Lance mumbled, scooting lower on his bed and completely lying down, bringing the blanket up till his neck.

“Yeah, getting cheated on isn’t fun.” You mumbled, covering your face with the blanket; not because you were ashamed or wanted to hide your face, but because you were cold and your nose felt like it was going to freeze.

“Oh my god, how cold are you?” Lance asked, accompanying you under the blankets, swatting them a bit so the thick material wouldn’t hide your face from him. He reached over to grab your hand, only to let out a small yelp after feeling how cold they were. “Woah, you’re fucking freezing.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why I’m this cold.” You replied.

There wasn’t much need to ask or say anything, words weren’t a necessity in communication between you two sometimes. He just knew you well enough to know what you’d need and you knew the same, and so he covered the distance, and wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you in a warm hug. 

Several moments had passed and though you were still feeling cold, his body heat had managed to warm you up enough for it to not be a problem. As an unspoken token of appreciation, you had begun gently rubbing your fingertips on his scalp, something you knew he liked. 

“Do you remember when we were teens and we’d sneak into each other's rooms like this and watch all the shows we weren’t allowed to watch?” Lance whispered, not needing to talk at a higher volume due to the proximity. 

“We used to sneak into each others’ rooms all the time, remember that annoying nanny our parents would bring along? That old lady who was convinced we were up to no good?” You laughed, remembering how often she’d complain to your parents about your antics and how Lance wasn’t a good influence on a young girl like you.

“Oh God, she was the worst. She used to be on your ass about everything, she always said you weren’t proper enough.” 

“Ooh ooh, remember when we managed to sneak out with Chloe and go to that party with her friends in the summer?” You chimed, remembering something completely off-topic.

“Yeah, that time her friends forced us to kiss in that stupid truth or dare game, I swear I told your dumbass to sit next to me but you just had to sit next to that stupid guy.” Lance scoffed. 

“Oh my God yeah, that was my first kiss.” You replied, recalling how flushed you were and how glad you were now to have that memory be with someone like Lance and not with some weird, much older guy. 

“Wait, really?! I thought that was just something you were messing about!” He pulled away to look at you better. 

“No! Why would I lie about that?!” You asked, pulling away from his chest a little too, craning your neck to look at his face. 

“I…. I don’t know.” Lance replied after thinking for a while, pulling you back into his chest to avoid having to look you in the eye, “I guess I didn’t want to believe that your first kiss was with me.”

“Why not?” You asked, the question laced with confusion and several different emotions you couldn’t identify, “I never told you about my first kiss, I always thought you knew it was you.” 

A silence fell between you two, a sort of uncomfortable silence which made your hand stop stroking his hair, and made his grip on you loosen a bit. The cold hit again and though Lance was still close, it just didn’t seem like enough; for the first time in your life-long friendship you felt like a wedge had made its’ way in a moments’ notice, drawing you two apart. 

You had told him the night it had happened, on the way back to your house, you leaned in and told him that he was your first kiss. It was the earliest stages of his racing career, just a little before he debuted in F4. It was so long ago, you had forgotten about it, it really was just a silly little dare, but now you felt like you’d imposed a boundary you didn’t know existed. 

The silence between you two had lasted longer than either of you would prefer, yet neither of you had mustered the courage to disrupt this silence, hiding behind it from one another like you had never done before. The cold began to make its presence known to you once again, the blanket not providing much comfort any longer.

He had never given it much thought, it really wasn’t a big deal and he wasn’t upset, rather just confused. He had been looking forward to this family vacation more than he usually would, and until he saw and hugged you, he couldn't seem to figure out why. You were his best-friend and as cliche and silly as the title sounded, he couldn’t ever just call you a friend, you were so much more than that, yet whenever anyone called you his sister he’d just end up feeling uncomfortable; he’d never seen you in that light, the thought was just weird. Realizing that he was your first kiss made him feel something he had previously averted from a few moments ago, except now, aversion wasn’t something he could do- it wasn’t something he wanted to do. He understood the reason that he hadn’t consciously accepted the fact that he was your first kiss was because he knew he liked the idea far more than he should have; he liked that he was your first kiss and he liked the idea of having that card over all the other men you had dated, he liked that you two had shared that sentiment, he liked that he was your first and most importantly: he liked the idea of kissing you.  

The situation felt awkward and you mentally decided it would be better off to just go back to your room, and so you did, quietly moving out of his bed and making your way to your own room. You had gone as far as tucking yourself in till your thoughts finally started piling on.

What if I pissed him off? Why did he get so quiet? Did I fuck things over? God, how did I manage to mess up the one friendship I thought would last forever? Why does it matter, we’re just friends and the idea of us kissing shouldn’t ruin a life-long friendship, should it? Unless he has another girlfriend again, God I really don’t want to have to go through that again, Wait, why not? It shouldn’t matter if he dates someone, right? I mean I haven’t been the biggest fan of his exes but who am I to- 

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard the door to your room open, followed by shuffled footsteps and a weight on your bed. You turned to make out what you correctly assumed to be Lance, crawling under the blanket with you. You heard a huff of breath as he got comfortable, wrapping his warm arms around you again and pulling you into him once more.

You were confused momentarily, not having been able to completely exit your mind palace before you had to register all that happened. However, it only took you a few moments to adjust before you hugged him back, adjusting yourself against him slightly before fitting perfectly into his arms. 

“Do you remember how we’d sit under the blanket and cover ourselves completely in our blanket forts to talk in private when we were younger?” Lance asked, his smile almost audible in his words as he recalled the memory, not addressing the conversation earlier.

“Yeah,” You chuckled, “We’d call for ‘blanket meetings’ and all….”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m kind of calling for one right now.” He said, pulling away slightly, preparing to hold the blanket over your heads. 

You didn’t need to say anything, you smiled as you grabbed your phone and sat up, adjusting yourself under the blanket as Lance sat up too, the blanket forming a little tent around you two as his head held it in place. It took a little more shuffling around till you both were completely covered and comfortable and it was then when you pulled out your phone, turning on the flash and placing it in between you two so you could see each other. Having done this your whole lives, you two knew exactly what to do. 

“God, the blankets seemed so much bigger when we were kids.” You laughed. 

“The blankets were always big on you, pipsqueak.” Lance laughed.

“Oh, fuck off.” You laughed, “Alright, so why did you call this meeting?” 

“Oooh, professional.” Lance laughed, locking eyes with you as his laugh faded.

“If it’s about our conversation earlier, then I don’t really wanna talk about that, can we just go back to pretending that that never happened?” You asked, eyes averting his.

“No, we can’t. I don’t want to pretend like that didn’t happen, if anything I’m really glad you had your first kiss with me, I’m a much better option than that creep you thought was cute, if anything I was the best option in that whole party.” Lance spoke, voice hushed to match the vibe.

“I mean yeah… Wait, did you just say you were the best option? You know my ex was there too, right? I mean sure we dated after years but we met for the first time at that stupid party.” You recalled, ready to contradict his statement, unsure of what your argument would be considering your ex was awful.

“Yeah, I stand by what I said.” Lance spoke, a determination present in his voice. “You know how I felt about that loser anyways.” 

“Oh please, you never seemed to like any of the exes I have.” You scoffed.

“Like you like any of mine.” Lance scoffed in return, eyes still looking into yours despite your attempts at looking away. 

“I mean-” You tried to defend yourself when he cut you off.

“Oh come on, you know we don’t like any of each other's exes.” Lance persisted.

“I mean yeah, but I don’t like them because I think you deserve better.” You replied, content with your argument.

There was a moment of silence before Lance spoke and in that moment you watched his face as he thought, the way his brows momentarily furrowed and how his brown doe-eyes looked into yours, not breaking contact and making you more nervous than you had anticipated. 

“Well, I thought the same, y'know, I kept comparing them to me and how I’d treat you so much better than those losers.” 

His statement was calculated, and you could tell. It had completely thrown you off and confused you beyond expression, it left you dumbfounded and staring at him with your mouth open to say words you knew didn’t exist. 

“Come onn, You never thought about it? You’re telling me you didn’t think about the kiss all the time after it happened?” He probed, examining your face for a clearer answer.

To be fair, the second Lance had found out the kiss you shared was your first, a whole barrage of feelings and thoughts had bombarded his mind and he had no idea what to do or say, so when you walked off he barely registered what happened and when he did, he decided to resort to old tactics to talk to you and try to comfort you. Admittedly, Lance knew he should have understood that something was up when he realized that he didn’t hate the dating rumors between you two, nor did he hate the proximity you shared, if anything, Lance looked forward to these holiday retreats with your family because it meant you two could live together for a few days and he loved that- he also loved how close you two were and how in all honesty he truly wouldn’t want to date anyone but you. The realization that he had been comparing all his past relationships with you and why they’d never work out wasn’t something he had expected to come to so abruptly, yet here he was, risking everything for a whim. 

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that to be our last kiss.” Lance smiled, hoping that this last statement would break the silent oath you seemed to have taken. 

He leaned in closer, looking at you for a response, which you gave in the form of a small nod, before he gently landed his lips onto yours, holding your face as the blankets around you readjusted to the movement. His hold was gentle, like he was scared he’d hurt you or something, while your lips clumsily, eventually found a rhythm. 

You were bright red when you two pulled away for air. You mentally cursed yourself for turning the flash on. The prospect of you two being more than friends always seemed like a crazy thought, it always felt like something you felt wrong thinking about, like you weren’t allowed or something. But kudos to Lance for somehow always managing to understand what you two needed faster than you, whether it was making road-trip decisions or Tim Hortons’ order decisions, credit where credit was due, that man could read you like a book. And now he had made it apparent that he was capable of reading in between the lines too. You never knew you had wanted Lance more than a friend and now that the option was brought to your notice, you couldn’t, even for a moment, consider giving it up. The kiss hadn’t lasted long, but it had erupted feelings in you that had laid dormant for far too many years, all of which overwhelmed you enough to not think of your decision again before crashing your lips back onto his, this time allowing your hands to find the back of his head to push him into the kiss, which he enthusiastically reciprocated, his hands landing on your waist to pull your whole body closer. Suddenly, air didn’t seem like much of a necessity as the kiss deepened and you two got more comfortable against each others’ lips. It wasn’t till you two pulled away again, locking gazes as your chests heaved against each other, stupid grins adorning both of your faces. 

“Why didn’t we come to this realization earlier?” You asked.

“I don’t know… I’m just glad we came to it, better late than never no?” He laughed.

Now you didn’t feel so guilty admiring the way his face scrunched up when he laughed and how the skin around his nose crinkled and how you could see the slight gap between his side teeth and his front teeth. There was so much about him that you had mentally noted and admired that seeing him this close didn’t even feel like anything new- it was just Lance after all. 

“I still can’t believe I was your first kiss and we still didn’t do anything up till now.” Lance smiled, his lips parting to show his teeth. 

“I mean, I don’t know I didn’t really understand what I was feeling till now I guess.” You mumbled through a smile, lips barely moving to get the words out.

“I know, I think we’re on the same page.” Lance replied, pulling you in for a hug, the blanket finally beginning to feel warm again. 

“I want you to be my last too.” You laughed, wondering if he’d get the reference. 

“Seriously? You’re quoting one direction right now?” Lance asked, exhaling as he felt your body against him, warming him from the cold he hadn’t even realized he was feeling. 

“Always the right time to quote One Direction.” You laughed, knowing you were the reason he’d secretly be listening to them now. 

“That reference barely made any sense y’know, technically they talk about wanting to be the listeners last first kiss, not their first and last kiss.” He corrected you with a cocky grin you could practically hear.

“Anndd you ruined the moment.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

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A/N: I'm so sorry for posting this so late! completely forgot about it, hope you like it nonetheless<3

Also, no I have no shame throwing in a One Direction reference in like that heh

As usual, criticism and requests can all be sent in through the ask box!

[secretmellowblog]

I hope tumblr doesn’t die because No other social media site is as good for long, thoughtful, nuanced analyses of media. Yeah tumblr is also full of dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts, but you can make dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts anywhere —-there are no other popular social media sites that let you easily format and share long essays on the media you enjoy, and then have conversations around those long essays.

Fandom on all the other big social websites just seems so utterly …shallow. And it’s not because people on other websites aren’t thoughtful or don’t have deep things to say, but because these sites’ formats do not allow for any kind of long nuanced conversations.

Tiktok? Things have to be crammed into a super short video with an attention grabbing headline, and you can’t hyperlink sources. Instagram? Everything has to be in an image format with strict limits on length, and nothing will be shown to your followers anyway because of how Instagram’s algorithm works, and also no hyperlinks. Twitter? Strict character limits, and if you split it into threads it means someone can retweet a part of your essay completely out of context, and also very little freedom with formatting.

It frustrates me so much. If I go into the Tumblr Les Mis fandom I’ll find really compelling long essays on the original novel (including essays being written for the ongoing book club) on the story’s historical context, or the parallels between different characters and their narrative foils, or the way the politics were defanged for certain adaptations, or the way Victor Hugo’s personal life and failings affected the novel. But on tiktok I’ll get the same five shallow stale jokes from 2013 over and over, or maybe the same “DID U KNO THAT IN THE MUSICAL JAVERT AND VALJEAN SING THE SAME LEITMOTIF” style of basic Intro To Les Mis 101 For Babies media analysis (which is what Tiktok considers deep media analysis), or stale “LOL JAVERT ACTS GAY” style jokes as if we’re living in the early 2000s and calling a character gay is still a funny punchline. And it’s impossible to have any kind of deeper thoughtful discussions than “DID U KNOW <x Kool Fact>” or “lol <shallow observational joke>” on tiktok because the platform just isn’t built for building niche communities around in depth conversations. it’s built to churn out bland generic content for as wide an audience as possible, which means pointing out a small detail like an Easter egg and calling it “cool” is deep media analysis, because you cant have longer more in depth conversations without alienating people. And I hate it. Bc like, it’s not because there aren’t smart clever thoughtful people on Tiktok— there are—it’s because Tiktok isn’t built for these conversations, and anyone who wants to have them has to really fight against the things the website encourages or prioritizes!

Or like, if I go into the LOTR fandom on Tumblr, I’ll find tons of extremely long analysis and fanfic, and analysis of queer readings of the story. On Instagram people will still shriek in terror if you suggest the characters are gay, and most of the popular lotr posts are stale memes recycled from like 2007. There’s really no room for thoughtful media analysis, and even if you did create it, instagram’s algorithm would make sure no one saw your post anyway.

And everyone’s going to say “the algorithm shows you what you’ve seen before so maybe it’s your fault ~” or whatever but i do look for things I want! I do! “The algorithm” doesn’t know me or what I want or value or care about beyond this meaningless surface level.

The only thing that was worthwhile about these sites was the great visual art people were creating, but now the websites are overwhelmed with meaningless soulless machine-generated AI glurge, and it sucks. It just really, really sucks.

I’m honestly confused about why people don’t use tumblr….There’s no character limits! You have freedom with post formatting, and can insert images throughout textposts to illustrate specific points you’re making beneath the paragraphs where they’re necessary! You can add hyperlinks, linking to your sources! People can reblog your entire essay and share it, and then add on with commentary that then becomes part of a larger conversation! People can find your stuff through the tagging system! Reblogging means posts stay in circulation for years instead of being dead 30 minutes after they’re uploaded! If you want to have genuinely interesting text conversations about a piece of media, there really isn’t a better social media website for it anywhere.

To be clear, I’m definitely not saying Tumblr media analysis is *always* clever and thoughtful or etc etc. there are shitposts and nonsense here too (plenty of which I’ve created lol.) I’m saying that Tumblr gives people the tools for in-depth insightful analysis to happen. Whether people choose to do it or not is their own decision XD. But the reason lengthy in-depth conversations and book clubs are even possible here is because Tumblr is built for allowing these conversations to happen, in a way other sites simply aren’t.

It’d really suck if it died, because it’d be a huge blow to…being able to easily find long insightful in-depth media analysis written by fans. I currently don’t think there’s anything that could replace it.

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Would A Swinub Be A Good Pet?

It’s complicated. While some owners may be able to handle a Swinub just fine, others will have a hard time accommodating their behavior and move set. Swinubs fall into a solid B rank.

Size certainly isn’t the problem. Swinubs are pretty small, and as far as appearances go, they’re just round little babies. Swinubs are essentially tribbles with noses. Keep in mind though: just because they’re small, it doesn’t mean that swinubs are easy to keep indoors!

Swinubs’ little pink noses are incredibly sensitive, and their appetite is pretty extreme. This can be a rough combo. It’s said that once a swinub smells something they’d like to eat, they’ll dash off at surprising speed (Silver). Questions about how they dash around on their tiny limbs aside, any prospective swinub owners will need to get a harness for when they want to walk their pet in order to avoid their little buddy getting injured by dashing off while wearing a standard collar. Swinubs don’t just detect food above ground, however: they can rub their snout on the ground to detect edible material, and even soothing hot springs, under the ground (Gold). This could be a problem if you don’t want a pet that will dig around too much in the yard! Swinubs’ rooting behavior may be problematic depending on your circumstances, but can certainly be mitigated by keeping your swinub away from places that aren’t ok to dig in.

This behavior does present an excellent opportunity for enrichment activities for your pet: it could be fun to provide your swinub with a sandbox or dig pit in which you’ve buried some of their favorite foods, like Hoennian mushrooms (Ruby/Sapphire) or berries (Platinum), for them to find. They’re also clearly very food-motivated, so training may be a breeze. And you’re gonna want to train them, because these little pokémon have the potential to be a threat.

Swinubs can use a handful of concerning ice-type moves such as Powder Snow and Blizzard that can freeze targets solid, which is really concerning and potentially deadly, depending on the environment. Beyond this, thankfully, this species doesn’t pose too big of a problem. Oh, except for Earthquake… that one is always a big issue. Depending on its intensity, this move can cause some pretty catastrophic damage to your home, which puts everyone inside, the swinub included, at risk. Thankfully, it appears that swinubs aren’t particularly violent and are, as I mentioned, theoretically easy to train. You’ll definitely want to spend time working with your swinub to teach them not to use these moves. That being said, as usual, the risk still exists and needs to be considered.

All in all, swinubs are a case where the potential difficulty of handling their natural behavior and the threat of their moves drag them down a rank in the algorithm. For those who are determined to take care of a swinub, it is certainly possible, but I would really stress that they research this species’ rooting behavior and how to handle it in a domestic environment.

[desire-mona]

dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun

- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.

- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver

- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.

- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.

- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.

- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.

- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.

- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.

- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.

- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.

- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.

- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)

- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.

- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.

- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)

- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.

bonus! chris and keating! just for you!

- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.

- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.

[genericpuff]

I've come to the stunning realization-

-that Lore Olympus is basically to the webtoons industry what Youtube Kids is to Youtube.

And I'm not talking about the general "Youtube Kids" label, I'm talking about those videos - Elsagate, Johny Johny, Cocomelon, Mickey Mouse tattooing Spongebob or whatever other weird example you can think of - which are explicitly designed to game the algorithm, turn views into money, and most of all, gain and keep the attention of the one demographic that won't question what they're consuming - children.

!!!!THIS POST HAS FAST PASS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

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I mean, this is undoubtedly just a tinfoil hat theory, but think about it:

Bright oversaturated colors that are attention-grabbing.

Meme faces and 'lol rAnDoM' humor even when it doesn't suit the situation at all.

Art that's all around ugly and cheap on a technical level but still stands out due to its color design and prioritized advertising.

Vapid surface level scene-to-scene writing that doesn't connect or have any meaning in any coherent way.

One-dimensional projection characters who are easy to manipulate and sway for audience sympathy or anger even if those opinions change on a dime based on actions in the moment.

Cliffhangers that are less like true cliffhangers and more like clickbait. Episodes nowadays tend to be filled with drawn out plotlines, vague hints that can be applied to just about any school of thought, and non-sequitur memes to fill the time until they can hook the reader with another cliffhanger to keep them coming back next week.

Coin prices have gone up but episode length, substance, and quality have noticeably gone down. Even if they reach the same panel count they usually have, dialogue is minimal and pacing is brutally inconsistent to the point that plot progression is often non-existent.

Banner ads that run constantly, often in the first or second (or both) slots, with push notifications and pop-up ads also becoming more frequent whether you're subscribed to the comic or not.

And underneath ALL of that, we've got blatant objectifying and sexualization of female characters regardless of context, misogyny that claims to be progressive, racist undertones, borderline fetish content that constantly toes the Terms of Services line, normalization of problematic/toxic relationship dynamics, a creator who's more interested in 'getting back' at critics than writing an actual story, and underlying messaging both from the characters' and the creator's behavior that encourage witch-hunting, rejection of accountability, and blind devotion.

All this is essentially why I've given up consuming LO entirely, beyond just on a critical level as of late. There was a time long ago when I stuck around in the hopes it was going to get better, that maybe it was just going through a "rough patch" as some stories do. After that I stuck around because I wanted to see how it could possibly pull off its ending. And then after that, I simply stuck around for the laughs and community banter. But now I don't even find it funny anymore, the punchline of how bad it is has gotten incredibly old. And at this rate, as much as we'd like to believe it's going to end in its third season as it's been mentioned in the past, we also were told it was going to end between 100-200 episodes prior to that - the way it's going, I can't even stick around "for the ending" because LO is going to be around for as long as WT tries to milk it, despite it no longer having a heartbeat.

As much as I've loved talking shit about this comic and it's undoubtedly the main reason so many of you followed me here in the first place, I'm not going to lock myself in some kind of purgatory hell just to be proven what I already know is going to happen - either the comic continues on forever, doomed to be a lifeless mascot for the zombie corporation that is WT, or RS eats shit while trying to stick the landing with a plane that has no functional parts.

There's a quote from Caddicarus that I couldn't help but think of as I typed this up, from his nearly-decade-old review of Dalmations 3 (oh god, it's nearly been a decade since that video came out what the actual fuck-)

"And this is where I officially lost all fucking care. I realized it wasn't going to end anytime soon. It's one of those rare instances where the novelty of how awful everything is actually gets really tiresome and unfunny." - Caddicarus

[bluemooniegif]

wanna donate to a palestinian relief fund, but don't have any money? me too! I have a solution:

I regularly earn between $100-$250 AUD a month with youtube's monetisation program. I don't need this money to live: I've always worked a regular job and just uploaded for fun

so I'm in a position where I have 59 monetised videos, and no need to keep any of the money. the last time I used only a portion of my monthly revenue to buy 2 7-day esims, and donate leftover cash to Care for Gaza

this time, I won't be keeping anything! but I need your help to make sure I earn as much as possible! this is my estimated revenue, right now:

so, what can we do to boost it?

first: watch each video without skipping ads. the longer the video, the more ads, and the more it will earn

second: try not to watch anything multiple times in a row! this shouldn't be a huge issue, but it is known to affect views

third: avoid these videos (unless ur super keen ig slkdjafj) because they're NOT monetised and won't earn anything:

fourth: remember to comment and share the other videos so they're boosted by the algorithm! this will help other people find them, which will bring in more revenue (if you can, comment something about the video topic to make it less sus)

and finally, these are the longest videos on my channel:

My Year in Media: 2023 Wrap-up (1 hour 12 minutes)

Costume Design in Bungou Stray Dogs: Coat Theory and Beyond (39 minutes)

Dazai Osamu: a Reflection of No Longer Human (32 minutes)

there is NO expectation for you to subscribe or even interact with me when this is over! I will continually update everything on my Twitter and Instagram for full accountability. if you have a specific fund in mind that you'd like me to donate to, let me know!

[neon-prison]

🩺🚓 annnnd 🚖 (I have no capacity ro read fics atm but I want to knoooow!) - for your new meme :3

tysm for the asks!! and so sorry I've been late with these (because I chose to draw them like a CLOWN). @kohnnor @togepies

From the Get-A-Long Meme!

For length purposes- info under the cut!

Vee and River:

River arrested Vee back in time with a minor charge, but on the way to the station, they got embroiled in a series of wacky hijinks, starting with a car chase and ending with burritos under the highway. River and Vee developed a working relationship that eventually evolved into a pretty cheesy friendship, with River being a bit of a lighthearted bully/tease. But don't be fooled by the big brother routine- River has it BAD for Vee. However, Vee comes from Heywood Streets, and while she is no longer a Valentino, a relationship with a cop would be disastrous on all fronts. Padre and his cadre of contacts are...tolerant of her friendship, but only so far as it doesn't cross the line. Anything more would not only ruin Vee's clout/trust from the Heywood community, but any perceived 'threat' would also put a giant target on River and, by extension, his family. She'd essentially end up trading her life for a lover. Unfortunately, River, while a sweetheart, struggles to see the bigger picture, so it's up to Vee to maintain that boundary.

But even beyond that, Vee isn't sure she's suited for the family life that River clearly wants. She's ride or die, of course, but freedom is important to her. Maybe in another lifetime, they could have been something more, but Night City's boundaries etch further than simple geography.

Vee and Delamain:

My main ship! "This isn't a cab this is a clown car"

Vee met Delamain during the game's events and got his attention/tentative admiration for choosing to reset his core- an act he considered to be anecdotally counter to most human's deep admiration for independence and free will. Their subsequent conversations about human nature and close contact quenched what used to be pretty starved heuristic/social algorithms. Eventually, their tentative client/business relationship evolved into friendship, and Delamain became bold enough to start freeing himself of previous strictures and protocols to engage with Vee on a more informal basis.

Personality-wise, they get along extremely well. Vee is always happy to have a new friend, and her ride-or-die (haha) nature means that she'll always have Delamain's back. On Delamain's end, it's a novel but thrilling experience to interact with someone who doesn't consider him an automaton. He finds Vee's ambition and intensity extremely admirable and a mirror to his own struggle for survival in Night City.

Vee, Mitch and Saul:

Despite her stationary life, Vee has all the trappings of a nomad; fiercely independent, loyal, flexible, and, most importantly, open-minded to possibilities beyond the horizon. From the moment she made friends with the Aldecaldos, they saw some kindred flame, though perhaps they realized too late that her soul belonged to the city.

Saul:

While Panam grew up in an isolated environment, Vee, having survived in Night City, sees how deeply and inseparably all the social pieces intertwine. Unlike Panam, she understands that survival isn't just a test of brute force and that you have to be able to bend and sway to the incoming winds to get ahead. Surprisingly enough, she and Saul understand one another's motivations very well, and while Vee can be impulsive, she's also got a level of foresight that he appreciates. Like Panam, Saul struggles with the idea of leaving Vee behind, and in an alternate timeline, they would have probably gotten together.

Mitch:

Mitch considers Vee to be Panam's long-lost sister and appreciates that Vee can be the level-headed anchor to Panam's fiery, impulsive nature. Over the course of their acquaintance, Vee demonstrated all of the qualities Mitch likes in a person: loyalty, dependability, flexibility, etc. Like Saul and Panam, Mitch really really wishes Vee would ditch Night City to join them, though he knows his entreaties are pointless.

Vee and Vik:

Vee has known Vik since she was a teen, with Jackie having introduced them. At first, she was a bit of a pest, popping in, constantly curious, and disrupting his work till he'd had enough. However, she ran a tough gig to get him some much-needed supplies for almost no pay, and a few years later, he repaid the favor by giving Vee her prized gorilla arms: "Special gold order, just for you." Since then, they've maintained an exasperated mentor/annoying protege relationship that Vee relies on till today. For Vik's part, he's more than happy to have a skilled merc on his side, and everyone knows his clinic is under the VVasp's protection. And if he calls Vee to ask her advice on dating/fashion advice well...that's doctor/patient confidentiality.

[statsbot]

In the shadowed alleys and glittering high-rises of this peculiar metropolis, the term "human-type entity" is used in hushed whispers to refer to those uncanny beings that walk among the populace wearing human guises. They may look like your neighbor, your barista, or the unassuming office worker in the cubicle next to yours - but beneath that carefully crafted veneer of normalcy lies something unmistakably other.

Many of these entities are refugees or expatriates from strange realms beyond the veil of mundane reality. Places with names like the Gossamer Reaches, Hex-Nail Underworld, or the Shimmering Interstices between dimensions. Some are exiles, fleeing persecution or ancient blood-feuds. Others are here by choice, drawn to the neon allure and ceaseless buzz of mortal life in the big city. A rare few were even born here, hybrids with one foot in the mythic and one in the mundane.

Outwardly, a human-type entity appears no different from a baseline Homo sapiens. Two arms, two legs, one head - all the standard equipment in the usual places. They sweat, bleed, and bruise just like any other city-dweller. But spend enough time around one and you may start to notice the little tells. An odd sheen to the eyes, a double-jointed fluidity of motion, teeth a bit too sharp to be natural. When angered, their skin may ripple with bioluminescent patterns or tiny thorns. Their laughter has an eerie, ululating resonance.

Inwardly is where the radical differences become apparent. Psychic MRIs (a hush-hush procedure conducted only by The Agency's extradimensional med-techs) reveal brain structures and neurochemistry vastly divergent from humans. Clusters of neural tissue that shouldn't be possible, glands secreting peptides that don't show up on any periodic table, nerve bundles that terminate in microscopic event horizons.

Some manifest superhuman aptitudes - a "Gray Collar" who can calculate complex algorithms in their head, a back-alley surgeon with intimate knowledge of xeno-anatomies, a demure librarian who reads at a page a second and never forgets a word. Others wield innate magic they call "Miracles" - a fiery-eyed dockworker who can heft shipping containers, an unaging lounge singer with a mesmerizing voice, a beat cop who heals with a touch.

All this strangeness is cloaked behind the Masquerade, a vast conspiracy of secrecy upheld by the human-types themselves, by The Agency that monitors them, and by the megalithic corporations who find them useful. To the average citizen, they are invisible - just more faces in the crowd. Only those who know how to spot the signs (or who are foolish enough to go looking) discover that "human" is a rather flexible category…

So when you pass a stranger on the rain-slick sidewalks of Neon City and feel the hairs on your neck prickle, when the dry cleaner returns your suit with an odor of brimstone and alien spices, when your co-worker casually references the Siege of Vys during a meeting, pay attention. The human-type entities walk among us, and once you start to perceive them, there's no going back. The real question is, why are they here - and what do they want?

[glacierbash]

Y'know, any time I start to talk about this game, I feel obligated to lead with the funniest fact I have: I absolutely hated Final Fantasy, for myriad reasons both personal and amusing. I hated, for example, the way Elezen were shaped. I hated that Lalafell looked so young. I hated that everybody acted like it was so great, and by sheer contrarian nature I decided I would simply never play this game. And for quite some time, that worked! I'd bombard my partner with whatever media algorithms recommended me involving FFXIV, just to make fun of it. I detested this MMO, without having ever tried it. And yet, deep down, I knew I wanted a community. I wanted to be around people, even if through an online medium. When I worked at the library, my coworker set up a WoW private server that I spent some time fucking around in, but deep down I wanted people. Try as I might, I couldn't deny some part of me wanted to see what the game was all about.

So, I tried it. I spent 30 minutes exactly between opening the character creator to first posting a name that, genuinely, would define more than 2 years of my life: Iverelle Vauvenelle.

I spend about 2 days playing the game, one being chased around by strangers who my partner swore were good people, and one just questing on my own--and it was fine. I got to MSQ level 24, quite literally one quest away from being able to travel to other city states, and I stopped. I played my fair share, I played 5 hours, and I decided the game wasn't for me. I put it down for several months, when I was approached by somebody who I am no longer friends with. He said I should play the game again, keep going just long enough to travel to Gridania, so that I could see one of his alts--and maybe, we could play together! I didn't want to upset him, so I said "fine," and gave it another try.

By the end of the week, I was finishing up ARR, and moving into post patch, and something just... Changed for me. I'm not sure what it was, honestly. It's not like the game magically changed for me then, or if Iverelle had become perhaps my most meaningful character ever, but something shifted, and I found myself enjoying the game. It didn't even make sense to me then when I bought a subscription to the game, but I knew that something here was special. I just... Had to.

Post patch took me about a month, with multiple days spent stressing out over queuing into Good King Mogglemog out of fear and anxiety, because the trial was labeled as hard and my disorder was, frankly, at its worst. But, I managed to do so anyways. The victory was meaningless for most people, but for me? It was beyond words, just how important it was that I did content with other people, especially considering I went through all of ARR solo.

I made it to the end of ARR, to the infamous cutscene, when I realized I was sick with covid. In VC with two of my friends, I said the infamous line: "I think I have a fever." What a way to enter Heavensward, huh? I think it is in no small part due to Covid that Heavensward ended up being my favorite expansion of all time, and why Ysayle Dangoulain ended up being my favorite character of all time. Sickness and quarantine gave me all the time in the world, and being far too sick to be anxious, I sped through the story. One week later, I was done with Heavensward.

And of course, by now, I am finished with Endwalker and awaiting Dawntrail. For 2 years of my life now, I have been playing this game nigh daily. I stay up late playing it, I finish my daily responsibilities as soon as possible to play it, and I find myself enjoying it. I never thought that would happen, truth be told. More importantly than enjoying the game itself, though, is the friends I met.

I have lived a very isolated life. Partially due to my anxiety making me extremely averse to interacting with people, and partially due to how I've been raised, I struggle a lot with people. Autism, anxiety, and having not been properly socialized made me terrible. I longed for new friends, but I hated the effort that went into it. Imagine my surprise when one day, I found myself driving out to meet people who I play this game with, to spend time with them? When I found myself wanting to meet them?

And yet, here I was. I was driving out to meet these people who I play this game with--and more importantly, they wanted to meet me. Even as I think back on that day, I start to tear up. It was one of the most important days of my life. Were it not for this game, for playing it daily, for being dragged into a Free Company and for sitting in calls with people because of this game, I would not have known these people. They are some of the most important people in my life.

I think of the late nights playing Mahjong, or doing PVP, or treasure maps, or just sitting around talking. I think of those nights and then having to wake up early for work, waking up exhausted but so happy. I think of staying up until damn near 5 in the morning talking about whatever it is that comes to mind. I think about stupid inside jokes, and shared experiences, and the stories that I'll tell for years to come.

It's just a game. Final Fantasy XIV is, at the end of the day, just a game--and yet, that game has served as a way for me to grow as a person in ways I've never thought possible. My anxiety has not magically been cured, mind; but, when I'm able to talk to strangers and my heartrate doesn't skyrocket, when I'm able to do things in this game that once terrified me, when I'm able to exist comfortably not just in this game but in the outside world, I realize that it's done more for me than I'll ever be able to say. Yes, it is just a game, but people play a game due to a shared interest, no? And through that shared interest, friendships can blossom. To say that I love my friends, the people I met ultimately because of this game, would be an understatement, and I fear I do not make that clear enough.

Stupid as it is to say, Final Fantasy XIV has changed my life, for the better. Dawntrail is coming in just a few short hours, and though I am a whirlwind of emotions, the predominant one is excitement. I was there for the end of an era, and now I am here for the start of a new one.

So thank you. If you read all the way through this, thank you. If you skimmed just to the end, thank you. Thank you to my friends, especially. I would not be here as I am now were it not for you all.

Here's to a new adventure, friends :^] (Second screenshot featuring: @gailiag, the best viera on hydaelyn)

[transingthoseformers]

What if heat and/or rut could affect bots very differently?

Like

A short period before his heat, Megatron will subtly, and growing less subtle the closer it comes, try to gather bots his instincts have decided would be excellent contributors to his clutch. When he actually enters the heat, he basically turns extremely feral and aggressive towards any possible rivals. If a bot isn't interested in siring a clutch on Megatron, he could just leave and lock the door. It's a bit beyond him at that point.

He's also a lot cuddlier than normal.

Mathematically speaking heat/rut would affect each mech differently, robo-hormones and algorithms always vary somewhat and considering the physical variety cybertronians have I would be more surprised if it didn't

I'm tempted to suggest that when Megs is moreso in a sober frame of mind he regrets nothing, ever

[brambleghastblast]

i think a depressing truth of the internet ill always hate is that negativity is what leads to success

negativity, in forms of content creation, leads to comments of people arguing or saying "but i like that thing". comments lead to the algorithms of social media boosting said piece of comic. algorithm favoring your stuff leads to more views. views get you money

often times, i think most youtubers and tiktokers and people on twitter and whatnot actually force themselves to be negative out of necessity. because its the quickest and easiest way to get a post out there. and its really become a norm in social media thats made the internet suffocatingly bad lately

like.. take pokemon for example, youtubers and tiktokers and twitter users such talking about pokemon will complain to no end about graphics, taking the worst possible screenshots they can get or setting up elaborate glitches so they can take a picture, put it next to another game with the prettiest picture they can get, and then go "WOW CAN U BELIEVE GAMEFREAK MAKES STUFF LIKE THIS" which then starts arguments and spreads like a wildfire because people are pointing out "wow you really took the worst picture you could huh" but then random people desperate to argue go "UHHH GAMEFREAKS NOT GONNA MARRY U DUDE LOL" blah blah blah

or take some specific youtubers for instance, like videogamedunkey is a critic who usually lies about video games he dislikes, makes up stuff or complains about really little stuff, or tries to get glitches to happen to pretend the whole games like that. a reallyyy scummy youtuber but thats literally what he has to do to make money and that sucks! or like... alpharad whos kind of just an obnoxious jerk all the time and thats how he gets his attention because being a jerk gets you comments and comments get you views etc etc

the youtube channel gamexplain got exposed for not paying employees and fell off HARD.. but they made a full recovery and comeback. they used to post informative nintendo and other games news, but lately theyve just been posting negative memes or complaining about really little things or posting negative news with a clickbait title. like.. nintendos doing some reconstruction at their headquarters. so gamexplain posts this

its... just reconstruction. but the big letters, the sad mario, it looks Worrying and causes clicks and comments. its literally just reconstruction. but oh wow with a thumbnail like this they can fearmonger and milk it

it stinks too because generally positive youtubers are... Rare. most positive youtubers fall really hard and barely get any views compared to the big bad youtubers out there, cause theres not a ton to comment on without negativity. and thats so.. sad. (bumping a youtuber i love a lot here; nekolacey is a really great and positive pokemon youtuber and i love her videos!!! but her videos dont really get a lot of views compared to other channels which i find so sad. shes awesome!!)

i think the only generally positive gaming youtuber i know of who actually had a big following was chuggaaconroy, and he was making videos on youtube for MANY MANYYY years to even just get 1 million subscribers.

and then he got cancelled because of... uh... a chatlog from 2009. and... uh...... some out of context discord messages from some youtuber whos been known to falsely accuse autistic people to get allegations on them. and.... apparently some randos named antdude and missfushigaming made up allegations to get some clout but they got proved false... uhh... and also chuggaaconroy went to therapy, apologized a ton, asked everyone to please not harass the accusers, and has been deeply working for years to work on himself because he did have a geniune falling out with masaeanela over him not following set boundaries.

but.... yeahhhh its. uh. when you point out "wow did anything bad happen beyond a falling out with masaeanela" you're kind of just quickly hushed by a bunch of random people and to accept it and quit. they can't afford for that positivity to change the way things are, they need negativity to thrive.

its.. the internet trying its hardest to push down one positive creator who made it so they can hype up a dozen negative ones.

i think the internet has always awarded negativity but it was never really bad. like.. many youtubers back in the day would make top 10s, listing something like "zelda bosses" or "gen 4 pokemon". these were great because they got to gush about something they like, BUT they'd get comments and arguments because of things like "well i would've put ths boss over that boss" or "why isnt crobat on this list!". it worked great because they got clout from comments, but they weren't being actively negative

or, talking about an internet show i LOVE, death battle! this is a fun show where they take two fictional characters and make them fight! and they research to see who wins and have really great animation!

it thrived because not only is it super good, but it causes arguments. most viewers dont care about the real reasoning and numbers, they just want their prefered character to win. so if there preference loses, even if its right, they will get mad and argue, causing comments which cause views which causes success.

unfortunately, the positive ways to get comments just... hardly last. its sad but in the modern internet, being mad and angry is literally how you succeed. its near impossible to make it online if you arent angry or doing stuff to upset people.

it sucks. so much.

and it sucks even more because people trying to make a living on the internet Have to be negative. thats how they make a living. they literally have to complain to make money and survive and it sucks!! so much!!!!!!!!!

i think overall success on the internet always depended on causing arguments and negativity, but its really become suffocating in recent time. everyone tries so hard to be mad they've geniunely become mad. positivity is rare and out of style, negativity is what everyone wants. its.... so....... miserable honestly

[apas-95]

what do you like about it? reads a bit too technical honestly

I think that's kinda the point, that it's an incredibly technical anomaly being worked on by proper scientists, which in any other context would be the most important discovery of the millenium - but one which, in the context of the foundation, isn't seen as important.

To me, it's basically 'what if a Liu Cixin story took place in the SCP universe?' and the answer is 'it's impossible to convey the importance of an incredibly complicated and technical matter to the people funding your research when that funding could be going to containing something a lot easier to understand, like a big lizard'. In the vein of Liu Cixin, it also places humanity in a very insignificant position - it's not that trillions of two-dimensional universes willingly destroyed themselves to send a minute, nigh-indetectable signal to us three-dimensional humans; their message for us was 'now you do the same, pass this on' - and even then, we weren't just to pass this on to four-dimensional beings or eventually to ten-dimensional beings, but 196,884-dimensional beings. Whatever we were being asked to sacrifice ourselves for is entirely beyond our comprehension. It mirrors the exact sort of existentially-miniscule you feel when you learn about things like the Monster Group, or about sorting algorithms that only optimise in 700+ dimensions.

Whatever these two-dimensional civilisations knew that was important enough to all independently come to the conclusion that destroying their own universes was worth the miniscule possibility of sending out a signal, whatever they *needed* to communicate, will be ignored by us, because, at the end of the day, they constitute a barely-anomalous rock posing no danger to anything, and studying that rock shut down, for decades, a whole sector of a site that also houses things that could end the world in so many different ways that the Foundation had to draw up a classification table. The only people with the specialised knowledge to understand and fervently care about it all disagree with each other, and the item only ever gets brought up in meetings discussing its budget alongside dozens of other completely inconsequential objects.

I don't think 2637 is the best SCP article ever made, but I think it's good, and underrated.