#between us spoilers

[chinzhilla]

from day one

[crookedwesper]

Shakespeare wishes his dialogue was this romantic.

[fadelikeclouds]

Episode 10 literally ends with Team thinking he’s gotten rejected by Win.

And yet in this episode he still decides to lay his heart bare, revealing all his fears and insecurities,

speaking into just how much Wins actions have meant to him, how much Win means to him,

and asking for Win to give their relationship a try even if he doesn’t want to right now.

And this is all coming from the poor boy who still guilts himself over causing Ton’s death, who usually suffers in silence, relying on no one, feeling like he doesn’t deserve anything good. He asks for Win to give them a chance because that’s how much he means to him.

I think Team is expecting Win to hesitate and then turn him down again. I think Team is terrified of that. But because he can’t imagine a life without Win, because of how much he loves Win, he pushes all his fears aside and still reveals everything that he feels: his fears and his hopes.

All the advice from his friends telling him to talk to Win, to try to keep him, and all of Win’s actions that showed Team how loved he is, I think it all encouraged Team helping him get to this point, where he can be brave and go first:

“If you don’t want to be the one who initiates things, then I’ll be the one who does. If you are afraid to love, then I’ll be the one who loves you first.” - Team

TLDR: I love the whole process of Team finding the courage to express his love. It’s beautiful how his own love, Win’s love, and the support of his friends coalesced into a catalyst that propelled Team out of his fears, allowing Win to follow his lead.

[megapandas]

OK we're all losing over the hurt/comfort this episode; the driving in the rain, the affirmations, the unconditional support.

BUT

Why are none of us talking about how Team told his mom he'd bring Win to his house for breakfast in the morning? And how we are definitely not gonna get that scene next episode!

FIC AUTHORS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MIST DO!!!

[sunshinechay]

Team didn’t think heartbreak could hurt this badly. After all this time, he finally, finally found the courage to ask a question. Maybe not the THE question, but a question that has been burning up inside of him for weeks:

Are they both still benefitting from this? Does Win still want to be with him? Want to be his boyfriend?

Team is already so confused. He is confused about what to do, what to say, how to act. How should he move forward having finally admitted to himself (and Pharm and Manaow) that he loves Hia Win?

He doesn’t know, so do he does the only thing he can do. Answers no when Dean asks if he has a boyfriend. Doesn’t try to trap Hia Win into a situation he can’t get out of by answering in the affirmative. Dean knows they’re having sex and by saying he has a boyfriend, that’s causing trouble for Hia Win that he did not ask for and doesn’t want.

Don’t put yourself in a place where you aren’t sure you belong. Don’t assume that just because we’re “having fun together” that it means something to him when you don’t know it does. Remember the conversation Hia had with his friends that you overheard? He likes the way things are now. Well that was weeks ago, maybe things have changed? Morely likely they haven’t. Hia doesn’t love you, Team, stop trying to put words in his mouth and feelings in his heart that aren’t there and that you have no right to believe are there.

But if Hia Win doesn’t love him, why ask Team not to be afraid of his feelings for him? Is Hia Win admitting that while he doesn’t feel nothing, he doesn’t feel love? That Team has nothing to worry about because Hia Win isn’t going to develop feelings for him? If that’s true, can Team keep going with this strange relationship they have? Knowing that if it hurts to be with him now, it’ll probably get a whole lot worse in the future when Hia Win eventually does want to end it with him. Because that is definitely going to happen right? Eventually Hia Win is going to going to be the one to get bored and break up with Team right? And Team knows he won’t survive that, at least not with his everything in tacked.

Team can’t bring himself to think about the other option, the one everyone else already knows to be true. That Hia Win is so gone for Team that he’ll do anything for him. Because why would he? Team is nothing. Team is just a boy who killed his best friend because he was young and stupid. He just a boy who has no experience in love or affection or dating. He’s just a boy who doesn’t deserve those things anyway so why put in the effort to have them? Hia Win has to have realized this already and if he hasn’t, he’s going to realize it one day. Team isn’t going survive it, but at least if he asks now, he’ll have the answer, maybe he can prepare himself for that day, even if that day is today.

Then Hia Win hesitates. He hesitates because he is a good person, who doesn’t want to hurt Team no matter what. Hia Win cares about him enough to want to let him down easy. Cares about him enough to want to do things for him that Team keeps confusing for love.

Does that really count for anything Team? He’s a good enough person that he’d do this for any one he’s having fun with and doesn’t want to hurt when it’s coming to an end. He doesn’t have to feel anything romantic for you to not want to hurt you. All it does it prove what you already know. He’s a good man, and he doesn’t want to hurt you anymore than he has too so you’ll realize that you’re overstepping. That you’re asking for too much.

That hesitating is enough for Team. It’s enough to confirm the worst for him. That Hia Win doesn’t care for him that way. That he never will and he is trying to reassure Team that it won’t happen. They are just having fun and that Team was right to say he doesn’t have a boyfriend because he doesn’t. He has a sex friend and that is not the same. It’ll never be the same and Team needs to grow up and understand that quickly or he’s going to end up more hurt and more crushed and more alone than he is right now.

Team knows that he doesn’t deserve love, but to have Hia Win put it on stark display for him is too much. Hia Win knows exactly what is happening too and he is crying because he knows he has to be the one to do this. To hurt Team even though he has gone out of his way to try and prevent that from happening. Hia Win has shown him every step of the way that he is not in love with Team and yet Team still blew past all of the warnings, all of the signs and signals Hia Win has put out.

No, stop, don’t go any further. Don’t fall in love. That isn’t what this is, turn back now. Team I’m being serious, that’s not what this is. I’m just having fun. I just want to be a good friend and mentor to you outside of our physical relationship. Romantic love isn’t what I’m asking for and it’s not what I want. I don’t feel the same way. You’re only going to hurt yourself if you keep doing this.

Team has to get out, he has to go somewhere where Hia isn’t. Needs to think, needs to grow up and get his head on straight so he can come back and apologize for his words and actions. Apologize for making things awkward and tell him that he doesn’t know why he asked. It just felt important at the time, but don’t worry Hia. Team can deal with his own feelings and he isn’t going to burden Hia any further by dumping this on him. Hia doesn’t deserve that, he doesn’t deserve to have to deal with Team’s traumas or his feelings and can they go back to what they were doing before please? Can they please forget that ever happened?

Team won’t survive the day that Hia realizes that he can’t stand the sight of Team anymore, but Team isn’t ready for that day to come yet. Maybe he can fool himself for a little while longer? Maybe he can’t make Hia love him, but at least he can have him for a little while longer. Maybe Team will get lucky and Hia will want to stay with him, for now at least. Maybe he’ll get lucky and Hia will want to be with him, at least until he finds someone he can love. Team will prove what a good person he is by helping Hia when that happens, make sure Hia knows that Team supports him and wants what’s best for him. All Team can hope for now is that Hia will stay, for a little while longer.

Team knows that day will come, but he hopes (prays), it will take its time coming. He wants to have Hia for as long as he can have him. Maybe he’ll even get his own little miracle, and Hia will realize that he loves him, at least enough to want to stay forever, maybe.

No he won’t Team, don’t kid yourself.

[thebroccolination]

There are two hug today.

Not ONE.

TWO (2) HUG.

[to-be-spared]

Tul unleashed his inner Ayan

[it--feels--like--hope]

I know we are all still NOT FINE after watching episode 9 and there is a lot to unpack but... Did Team tell his mother that he'll bring Win home for breakfast? As in, he will introduce Win to his parents the next day??? (As a "friend" he happened to have bumped in the previous day, but STILL)

[thedooristhebluecushion]

Just realized that Team has pizza sauce all over his face & Win still wanted to hit that 😂

[khashanakalashtar]

Team:

Win, two episodes ago:

boy WIN is not the one failing to express his feelings here

[dandydemidoesfandoms]

Between Us Pontification - Episode 10

Ok, ya girl has had a little bit of time to sleep and rewatch Episode 10.

(Am I still miffed, yes. To the ends of the earth.) And here are my thoughts...there are a lot.

However, I think it's important (and other tumblrs have likened to this already) to keep in mind that our beautiful idiots, so full of love that they throw at others, leaving nothing for themselves, do not know how to ask for what they need; What they want and also believe that they deserve it.

Team is dealing with basically a decade of untreated survival guilt and in some ways is afraid that his love for Win is a projection simply because Win is good to him and makes him feel wanted, precious, and loved. Especially when his Aunt still grieves (and also needs some damn therapy) and probably has made way too many comments about what could have been her son's life. Team is living for two people, not even content to do it, but as a kind of forced repentance for something we all know is not his fault. And his self-loathing is manifesting as insecurity, low esteem when it comes to worth, and pushing Win away to stop himself from loving any harder, deeper, or truly in fear of loss and disappointment. But with Win, he needs certainty, clearest of day level clarity of how their relationship is defined.

And then there is Win. Sweet little competent middle child king. As someone who is also the 2nd sibling, I am painfully aware of how much pressure, expectations, and loneliness is wrapped up in it. How the only way to remain sane is to be useful and self-sufficient. Wiew is baby but a fiercely loyal one (as he should be, I love that precious nugget), and Waan is crumbling under the suffocating role he is being forced to play by his crappy workaholic father who has lost the plot in more ways than one. He needs to give that man a raise and a 3-week long vacation (with Tul there to just smile at him and play video games) and stop yelling so damn much. These three need a hug, a nap, and a break. But I digress.

Back to Win, he is a giver. Hyperindividualism manifested as the kind mediator, the soft but strong protector. He sends out all the love he never gets to keep for himself and doesn't expect anyone to stick around. He has crafted this self-fulfilling prophecy and doesn't hold tightly to anyone. Waan has even mentioned to him that his kindness could turn into something that hurts him and the ones we love, which is what we end up seeing in Episode 10. Because with Win, what he needs is someone who looks at him and tells him that he is loved not for what he provides but for just being him. Someone who wants to refill the empty cup he has been pouring from.

This is a story about reciprocation and fear of abandonment. A song of isolation and anxiety.

The confession scene for many of us was not what we wanted because we have the sweetness in UWMA that we know is on the horizon. Death by a thousand cuts, is what we are getting. But the point of Between Us is to show the complete road of how our boys with horny hearts of gold go from being in two very different types of emotional exile to a supportive and loving relationship. And I would be remiss if I didn't remind myself and others that this is their FIRST serious relationship. These boys have little to no previous experience with big feelings and taking that leap and hoping the one they love is jumping with them and simultaneously catching them at the same time.

Its a terrifying and heartwrenching saga to go through in the best of scenarios and there is so much hurt, unsureness, and need to be wrapped up and it can be scary if you are waiting for the other shoe to drop while, in tandem, praying for it not to. And in a way, both Win and Team need this kind of tension and to be forced to make solid steps forward.

Unfortunately, Win must have a moment of fear, of being confronted by the consequences of the cavalier nature he has curated. His coolness, the aloof cat-like humility that makes him so darn unattainable. He has to be vulnerable instead of hesitating and testing the waters again. He must cannonball into the depth. And Team, in direct parallel and in some ways opposition, must learn to accept that he is loved and is worthy of love. To not be afraid of being too much, of burdening someone he finds important with his affection, of handing over his feelings and feeling the reciprocation. He must trust that someone swimming with him isn't going to end in pain and loss again.

And that brings us to the emotional rollercoaster at the end of Episode 10. This is called the Black Moment or the Defining Moment when we look literarily at this story arc. Internal conflict must be confronted and we all must accept that we are gonna get a whole lot of big feelings in the last two episodes.

Have faith, intrepid travelers, and keep your arms and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

[chinzhilla]

team: *calls win in the middle of a breakdown even though his parents are presumably like a mile away* win: *drives two hours in the rain on his motorbike to come get him* them in the preview: i just don't know what we are to each other 😔

[crookedwesper]

I’m being entirely sane about this moment. HONEST!

[fadelikeclouds]

Now that Win and Team are happy, I have the strength to ponder episode 10 more. So here’s a post of my thoughts about why Team kept pushing Win away.

Team has admitted that he loves Win, and Pharm encourages him to express that to Win.

But Team is also convinced that it’s not going to end well if he does ask him to define their relationship.

Still, he decides to take Pharm’s advice and talk things out… eventually. And why does he wait? Well, imo he thinks there’s a high probability that Win is going to reject him, which means he’s going to lose someone irreplaceable, someone who means the world to him.

So he’s trying to prepare himself for this loss by shoving Win out of his life: telling him to go back to his own room after being sick, saying that he doesn’t want to share a room with him at Kanchanaburi, walking away after sharing a romantic and loving kiss by the river.

Because he’s gotten used to Win being in his life, and now he’s trying to ease the transition to being alone again, to create distance so that he can appear normal after shattering.

Because he always tries to look normal. He’s always saying he’s fine. Even after he drowns, even after he’s been having nightmares in the hallway outside Win’s room, even the morning after he’s been crying outside in the rain for hours. But if he loses Win, he might not be able to keep up that facade anymore.

And so maybe that’s why he runs away at the end of episode 10. Because he can’t brush everything off and appear okay. And if Win doesn’t want to be his lover then he shouldn’t be burdening him with his heartbreak.

And the beautiful and brave thing about Team is that even though he runs away once, he doesn’t run away again. In episode 11 he rips his heart out and gives it to Win, all his fears and love included. And the beautiful thing about this show is that this love confession - that’s raw, messy, marred with insecurity, but so incredibly truthful - is exactly what Win needed to hear to know how much he means to Team.

[coffeebookslovegt]

¡Son novios tienen que dormir juntos! Déjalos en paz.

[ctl-yuejie]

Between Us Ep. 12

I've seen many people drop the show or lose excitment over the past few episodes and that might partially be because expectations were high after uwma but i still like a lot of what they did (might also be because i never watched uwma).

I feel like this show has a lot of up and downs which is especially apparent in this episode.

A lot of the writing and connecting of scenes feels not rounded and incomplete as one story that is being told. At the same time I do enjoy the story they tell for WinTeam.

The closure we got this week on P'Ton's death felt right. The way how Win did say exactly the wrong thing in the beginning because he does not understand how Team feels. But also showing how this is so much more than Win can handle, he is not supposed to be able to say the right thing. (probably why I will defend this show, so much of it hits very close to home).

WinTeam at times do feel awkward with each other though and not entirely because of how prickly Team can be as a character, it's just different levels of comfortableness. Other than the order the scenes are shot in I can't quite explain it, or the little amount of lines that Buen and Pram have to work with at times.

(Right on theme I really don't like the heavy orchestral brass section we get with the emotional climax but I appreciate how the strings sound not too bad despite being electronic)

(While I am typing WanTul just happened and I continue to have a vendetta against the soundtrack.)

Santa really carries many of the scenes he's in. He's so animated, no silence can defeat him.

And again, they suddenly feel comfortable with each other at the beach....someone explain it to me.

Appreciate this side of Win where he just keeps telling Team that he loves him.

There is a lot of discussion about Team needing therapy and the show going towards the direction that love heals all, but I am not really mad at what they do. Team sleeping better with Win and slowly opening up helping him relax feels sensible without making it seem like he will depend solely on Win sleeping with him from now on. Could they mention therapy? They kind of did by alluding to medicine making Team feel worse. And it seems like a lot really hinged on him getting proper sleep and having a proper talk with Aunty Ta at a point where he is open to forgive himself. (again, hitting close to home so very biased here).

(I hate hate hate the mixing of the main song into itself though, it is so dissonant it hurts me and really butchers the scene. like come on.)

I love the friendship trios in this show so much.

Samantha got in a kiss on the cheek, proud of her. And marriage discussion?! We are really advocating for marriage equality in all shows now, excellent. (what is this competition talk as the last dialogue)

Final tally:

(-)

too many flashbacks, I'm fine with the nightmares but if I see P'Ton drown one more time when someone talks about him I am going to riot

scenes didn't flow as nicely as they could, lots of breaks in the tention -> side couples feeling disconnected despite sharing some themes with the main story

sound mixing, background music doing too much repeatedly

too little ManowPruek, the show overall would've benefitted from showing all of their scenes (eating chicken feet etc)

(+)

the cast. they are all adorable and it really feels like they worked hard

overall story for WinTeam. Slow and gradual, different from many other shows + started from a onenight stand which they really carried in terms of chemistry throughout

the friendship and sibling dynamics (Santa is everything)

did not watch uwma but Pharm saying P'Dean in a scandalized voice might even be better than Team saying Hia in an annoyed way