#between this and the “What have you told them about us?” comment
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dokyumms · 6 hours ago
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eyes on you
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pairing: ot13 x fem!14thmember!reader
genre: angst, fluff
word count: 1.4k
cw: brief violence (album is thrown at reader), carats are mean to reader 😔, cursing, nightmares, protective svt ?, carat calls svt “oppa” and it’s the cringiest line i’ve ever written.
a/n: been getting some requests for 14th member reader so here yall go! couldn't find a good pic for this theme so just enjoy the winter photo lolol, have no idea if relationship between svt and reader is platonic or not so it's up to interpretation... i don't know if i like this or not....
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fan signs were usually fun.
key word: usually. you really did enjoy interacting with fans, playing with toy guns and whatever props you were given, but there was just one thing that would always happen.
it was normally something small, just a weird look or an obvious difference in the mood of a fan when they'd get to you, but no matter what it was, it was always noticeable.
you were used to it by now, the hate that came with being the only female member of the group. thankfully, it'd died down since debut, and over time, you learned how to ignore the comments. the members were your family, and you were theirs, why should people online dictate how you live your life?
however, there was always something different about when it happened in person. maybe it was the way you could see the joy in their face drain at the sight of you or how someone would look at you as if you had hurt them. you didn't know, but just that coming from one person would keep you awake for nights, no matter how many fans you met after.
but maybe today would be different, or at least that's what you told yourself as you sat down between vernon and minghao earlier that morning. these two were some of the calmest members of the group, so surely someone wouldn't dare to piss them off by insulting you, right?
well, just about half an hour in, a girl shoved an album before you. you had your hands out in front of you, just fidgeting around while you waited for minghao to finish up with her before she nearly knocked out your fingers.
you were taken aback a little, but you gave her the benefit of the doubt and didn't react to it, just greeting her as usual. looking down at the album, you read the name written on a sticky note. "your name is gaeun? how pretty," you commented, uncapping your marker to sign the album when she stopped you.
"don't." she warned sternly, grabbing ahold of your wrist. you tried to retract it, looking around for help, but to your dismay, the venue seemed to be understaffed. there were only two managers to help out, and they both happened to be at the very ends of the table, slowly making their way down the row as if they have all the time in the world.
you looked back at her. “i’m sorry?” you said, trying to figure out what was going on, but she didn’t budge. “okay, okay, i’m not going to sign it.” you backed off, holding your other hand up in surrender.
“good. i don’t need your nasty hands on it either. give it back!” she snapped, snatching back the album as if she hadn’t been the one to place it in front of you. the noise garnered the attention of minghao, who looked at her before turning his head toward you.
he raised an eyebrow, confused, but you shook your head. nothing was wrong, just some weirdly aggressive hater. what was new?
then the girl, or gaeun now that you knew her name, all of the sudden lit up at the sudden glance from minghao. “ohh oppa~ there’s nothing to worry about! you look so handsome today~” she cooed.
you could see him try to keep a neutral facial expression as you held back laughter yourself. he nodded awkwardly before turning his attention back to the person in front of him. honestly, you were unsure of what to do now. the other fans you had come across before may not have liked you, but they at least let you sign their albums.
thankfully, there shouldn't be much time before the fans have to switch members, so you just kept yourself occupied by eavesdropping on the conversation vernon and the girl in front of him were having. clearly, yours didn't want anything to do with you.
"come on, entertain me, bitch."
your head snapped back at her, noticing the two members beside you do the same as you gave her a puzzled look. she didn't seem to notice them, though, fully focused on you.
"what are you just staring at me for? you can't do your one job? no wonder so many people hate-"
"don't. don't you dare say another word to her."
you turned toward the voice, quite shocked to find the owner of it to be vernon out of all people. he and minghao both glared at the girl, filling the room with silent tension.
by now, the timer had went off, meaning it was time to switch members, but the girl wouldn't move, causing a line of people to form to the side of her. the managers made their way toward her to stop the delay, and now most of the members' attention was on you and her.
"god, you're pathetic," she scoffed, ignoring vernon's warning and the amount of stares directed at her. she made a quick glance at the managers, and as some sort of 'last laugh' before she got kicked out of the venue, she chucked the album- straight at your face.
by some miracle, yet slow reflexes, you managed to avoid getting poked in the eye, taking a hit to the temple instead. it's quiet for a couple of seconds, then all chaos commences. fans were yelling, probably at the girl as the managers practically dragged her away, and the members started to stand up and crowd around you.
before she was fully dragged out, the girl mouthed something at you, but you really couldn’t make sense of it right now.
this hadn't happened recently, the last incident being when someone shoved an album at joshua a couple years ago. and since then, pledis had put out strict warning about it, so it was even more shocking that someone had done it again.
you turned away from the audience, attempting to conceal yourself as you shut your eyes at the pain that began to spread from your head. voices overlapped over one another until you felt someone pull you into a warm embrace, hands falling onto your ears.
finally, all the noise seemed to die down. you opened your eyes, curious as to who was holding you.
joshua smiled as you met his eyes; his hands fell to your shoulders.
“hey, it’s okay, they’re moving everyone out of the venue. we’re not going to finish the fan sign.” he explained assuringly, but the comment sort of made you embarrassed. maybe if you took care of the situation better, everyone wouldn’t have had to leave.
you were frustrated, upset, scared, all of the above. you hated that someone disliked you so much to the point that this would even happen. why did so many people have a problem with you, and only you?
but there was one thing bothering you the most, something that kept your heart racing. deciding that you didn't need everyone worrying about you again, you kept your mouth shut as the managers came back and announced that you all were done for the day.
but that night, you dreamt of it.
you were at the fan sign, living through all the moments again. the girl is dragged away as she mouths to you,
"next time, i won't miss."
you couldn't move, frozen in fear as she began to laugh hysterically.
"y/n? y/n, wake up."
seungcheol shook you awake, stepping back when you yelped. "it's okay, you were having a nightmare." he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking your hair. "what was it about?"
trying to move on from the conversation, you said that it was just about what had happened earlier, but he stopped you.
"you were saying something, though. you kept repeating 'no', y/n, did something else happen?"
oh, you had no idea that happened, and now you were stuck. taking your hesitance as an answer, he took your hand into his.
"y/n, you can tell me. i don't want you to be scared anymore, okay?"
you sighed, giving in and telling him about the threat the girl made. his eyebrows furrowed as you explained it. truly, there was nothing the two of you could do about it, and it made him frustrated.
"it's fine, though. it was a shallow threat anyway, i don't know why i was so scared."
"no, it's not fine," seungcheol argued, pulling you into a tight hug.
"i promise you, i won't let anything happen to you. never again."
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hollyskywalker · 1 day ago
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Ghosts Don’t Knock
It was an offhand comment that helped Dick realize his brother had no clue.
Jason didn’t want his help. He made that abundantly clear when Dick jumped into the fray of the fight. “Go to the manor and play house or something!” his little brother had grunted before knocking one of The Penguin’s men out with a swift punch.
Half an hour later the two found themselves sitting on a rooftop overlooking the streets of Gotham. Jason had calmed down somewhat. Fist-fighting a few dozen goons was probably therapeutic to him or something.
Dick was just glad Jason didn’t seem to be planning to run off. Not yet at least.
He took a deep breath, preparing for the upcoming conversation. “What you said earlier…”
Jason huffed. “What about it?”
Dick bounced on the balls of his feet, a nervous gesture giving away just how reluctant he was to ask. “You do know…I mean- I assume you did your research on- what I mean-”
“Spit it out, Dick.” Jason grunted, eyeing the fire escape and, okay, Dick probably should get to the point before Jason takes off but this has been a painful subject for a long time now.
Here goes nothing. “You do know we’re children of divorce, right?”
Silence.
Jason didn’t move but Dick saw the flicker of confusion in the boy’s- man’s eyes.
“We assumed you knew, but maybe we shouldn’t have but you seemed to know a lot about what we’ve done- or haven’t done I suppose- after you- since-” Dick’s rambling cut short when Jason turned to face him fully.
“The fuck you mean divorce?”
Dick smiled half-heartedly that probably looked more pained than anything. “Mum left dad.”
Jason blinked and Dick waited patiently as the younger one processed the information.
“I-” for the first time since he came back Jason seemed speechless. “Fuck.”
Dick frowned a little disbelievingly. “You really didn’t know? It was all anyone seemed to be able to talk and write about for ages. She moved out and served dad the papers through her lawyer. You haven’t-” He hesitated. “You haven’t gone to see her yet?”
He’d been back from the dead, or Red Hood was, for months now. Jason was always more a mama’s boy and she claimed not to have any favorites but her smile was always softer when directed at Jason.
Jason shook his head. “What happened?”
“Life,” Dick said.
The end of yours, he didn’t say.
To say Dick was confused would be an understatement. He’d thought that the first thing Jason would after getting back to Gotham would be to seek her out and have an ugly-cry-worthy reunion.
Did she even know Jason was back?
Bruce might have told her, but the man was also a trainwreck when it came to her. She turned the serious, stony batman who struck fear into criminals into a bumbling schoolboy with the hint of her smile.
Now Jason was the one shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably.
“Is she okay?” he asked quietly, and for a second Dick saw his little brother from years ago. The one Dick would tease about clinging to their mother’s skirt like a little kid. It’s all so familiar that he had to take a deep breath, nostalgia creating a pit in his stomach.
“Define okay,” Dick shrugged. “After…” He stopped himself, cringing at his own words. “She stayed in your room for a couple of months. Slept on the floor I think, didn’t let anyone touch or change anything. Then one day she just…I don’t know. It was too much, I suppose. Said she was staying at her parents’ place for a bit and that she’d come back but she never did. She kept in contact with us ofcourse but it's not the same.”
Jason inhaled sharply through his nose and Dick realized that he’d been actively avoiding her. All it took is typing in her name on any platform and the divorce would be the first result to come up.
Silence stretched between them, heavy and unmoving.
Dick let it go on for a couple of minutes before it started to bother him and he spoke up again. “According to studies the divorce rate for grieving parents up to 72% is, depending on factors like coping mechanisms, and support systems.”
Jason scoffed but there was no real bite to it. “Well that explains it.”
“You should go see her.” Dick insisted.
“Dick.” Jason said, with a tone like he was being unreasonable for even suggesting it.
“She probably still thinks you’re dead.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed warningly. “Dick.”
“What? You don’t want to go see her? She’s your mom. She loves you and she never stopped grieving-”
“Dick-”
“She deserves to know. If anyone deserved to know that you’re back it’s her. She probably won’t even care that you’ve thrown dad’s no-kill rule through the shredder-”
A harsh shove to his shoulder shut him up. He knew he was pushing it and was probably lucky it wasn’t a punch to the face but it had to be said.
“Shut up.” Jason spat. He turned back to the view of the city, shoulders drawn tight.
“Jason,” Dick’s voice had a scolding hint to it.
The man sighed, sounding world-weary. “Ofcourse I want to see her,” he said. “I just-”
Dick nodded like he understood. He didn’t, but he could try to see it from his point of view. She spent most of their time as Robin fretting over them and fully agreeing with Bruce’s rules in fighting crime. Jason has stepped and spit on those rules without hesitation.
What Jason didn’t know and Dick did was that her second son’s death changed her. He knew that Jason could burn the world down and she would still welcome him back home with open arms.
“Go see her.” Dick said firmly. “I’ll text you the address. It’s not even a half hour’s drive from here.”
Jason looked hesitant, “I don’t know.”
“Just trust me,” Dick insisted a little bit desperately.
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Her mind went blank the moment she walked into her living room and saw her dead son sitting at her dining table.
It’s amazing what the mind can conjure up, she decides. It’s not exactly how she thought he would look like in his early twenties but it's close.
The white tuft of hair for example. She has no clue how her mind came up with that but he looks so delightfully real that she doesn’t care.
The scars from wounds she hadn’t patched up were placed randomly and she realized her mind was cruel to show him with a J on his cheek.
He looks out of place in the cozy space. Not that he could ever be out of place in her home but more in the way of being unfamiliar with a new space.
She guessed the trick her mind was playing on her would stop some time soon. Perhaps she should listen to her therapist about medication…
“Mom,” the hallucination said.
Oh wow, it was really realistic. It sounded exactly like him, only his voice was deeper and there’s a pinch to his face like the sight of her pained him. Which was ridiculous. He’s dead. His pain has ended, his suffering over, in a better place now or whatever bullshit people told her in an effort to console her.
This wasn’t good for her. She had to buy groceries and cook. It was important to take care of herself, or so her therapist kept insisting.
“You’re not real.” She said simply as she walked into her kitchen. She opened the fridge to see if she had to add anything to her grocery list. Tomatoes, orange juice, maybe some dessert…
“Mom,” the hallucination said again, softer this time and sounding so sad that it broke her heart.
She shook her head and continued her list. She was out of eggs, which she would need to make the quiche recipe Alfred had recommended she try.
She could still see the hallucination in her peripheral vision. It was slowly walking toward her, wary, like she was some stray animal he was trying not to fright. Well consider her frightened. The hallucination should be gone by now.
Maybe she should call Dick tonight before he goes on patrol. He has experience with hallucinations. Maybe he’ll know some tricks to-
A hand pushed the fridge closed, which was weird because hallucinations should not be able to do that. They also shouldn’t be able to smell like Jason, only with a hint of gunpowder and something metallic like blood and-
“Oh god,” she squeezed her eyes shut.
She could feel the air shift as he moved closer and hear his steady breathing as if he was real and alive and in front of her.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and they immediately welled with tears. Until now she had only seen him in the corner of her eyes, her mind playing tricks on her when she was somewhere that reminded her of him which was just about everywhere-
“I’m so sorry,” the hallucination (?) whispered.
He looked so much like Jason it hurt. Only his eyes are different now. They’re more green than blue. Why would her mind change his eye color? They were just fine the way they were. Maybe-
She reached out without realizing. The tip of her finger accidentally brushing his skin.
Impossible.
She felt like was was going to pass out. “You-Wh-” she stammered. “You’re real?”
“I am,” he nodded quickly. “I am and I am so sorry mom-”
She was drinking in every detail as he apologized. She didn’t know why he was apologizing. He had done nothing wrong. He was taken from them, murdered in cold blood. She had seen the footage. A 15-year-old boy writhing in his chains and screaming for mercy that never came. He’d deserved none of it.
And now he was here.
She reached out again, just to be sure, and once again made contact with real warm skin. He stopped his rambling apologies and stared at her wide eyed.
She managed a wobbly smile, “You’re all grown up.”
Confusion flickered across his face, then something but heartbreakingly soft and ruthlessly fierce. Then he hugged her so tightly her toes lifted from the floor for a moment.
Her baby was home.
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juullllssss · 3 days ago
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Selected
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The next days are getting by in a blur. Sleeping in a dark room with two other women doing nothing to ease your nerves. The room was to small to do much, you could stretch and take a couple of steps but that was it. You just wanted to get out of here.
The continue to bring you food. Kyle coming the most, by now you had learned if you smiled softly at him and maybe even patted your eyelashes, he would bring you a little sweet with your meal. Johnny came sometimes, too. His eyes were the most intense, almost feral. His gaze would linger on Elisa, watching her cry just a beat to long. Simon, was the one you could not make much sense of. The mask he wore playing a part in it. He was the only one who didn't linger longer then needed, but his meals, you assumed they made them themselves, were carefully picked. From what you could make out, it included protein, carbohydrate and enough vegetables to make any little child cry. You tried to take in as much you could about them, storing it into your memory. You were always good with being the observer. The anxiety having faded enough to let you gather your thoughts.
After, what must have been a couple of days, the allowed you to exit the room. For now the men don't get to close to either of you. You all get tasked with different chore duties. Maybe they want you to get used to their presence and keep you too busy to think about escape. Not that you had a plan at the moment. You would gain their trust first, let some time pass. Having already realized that John seemed to be the leader of them. Giving Simon silent commands, reining Johnny in and observing Kyles actions from a little distance. He told each of you your tasks in the house. A commanding tone in his voice, scanning for every reaction from you.
The days are a lot better with you being able to work with your hands and moving about. At the beginning Simon is tailing you, making sure you behave yourself. Not close enough to make you anxious but near enough to let you feel his presence. And you have to admit you were tempted, looking out the window you could see a Grassy area ending in a dense pine forest, in the shine of the sun it all seemed so idyllic. It made you long to feel the sun on your skin again. But turning your head your shadow made you abandon that thought. After a while of the same routine in silence you could not hold your mouth anymore. "And is it exciting being on guard duty?" For a moment you heard nothing, prompting you to turn around, your loyal shadow standing there in place. Brown, honey-colored eyes survey you. They are the only things you can see with the black balaclava obscuring your view. With a little huff he stand a little straighter. His voice even deeper as you expected, it had a smoky tone to it. "Would no' need to if ya could be a good girl." The pet name caught you off guard, licking your lips you turn back around. Just missing the look Simon was giving you. Flexing his fingers at his sides.
To be honest it seemed as if the men were quiet happy with you, Johnny and Kyle started smiling at you more often with a flirty comment here and there. Kyle even started offering you help with slicing some vegetables. He even took the chance to slide his arms around you from behind. Talking about showing you how it is really done. You could not stop the heat creeping into your cheeks. The more time past the more you even forgot that you were there unwillingly. Johnny taking it a step further, grabing your hand while he got the chance, kneading it between huge pawns. You tried to take a step back bring distance between you two. Feeling shiver run up your spine at the intime touch. Not that comfortable in his presence. Being fully aware what damage these hands could cause. He senses your slight discomfort, gaze searching for yours. Holding it he brings your hand to his warm lips, placing soft open mouthed kisses to your knuckles. Not caring about the water on them from the chore you just did. The need in his action making your knees feel weak. Trying not to make the deep breath you have to take obvious. His lips lift up into a small smirk, gaze becoming nearly feral. The appearance of John saves you from the moment. His stare shifting between the two of you, knowing, giving Johnny a glare you can't place.
You were more worried over the women who were with you. Anna got more aggressiv the more time past. She put up a fight for every task she was supposed to complete. Washing dishes, she would break some *accidently*, leaving you and Elisa to wash them. Leaving the laundry to long in the washer, so it had to be washed again. Every time the Men would delegate the task to either Elisa or you. It started to annoy you as well, but maybe that was what they wanted? In your room she would start to snap and hiss at Elisa, giving her a piece of her mind every time. You could not even fault the girl for crying every time. She was just sensitive, and you tried your best to pick her up again, every time it happend. Anna also snapped at you, telling you how weak and stupid you were for even allowing these men near you.
One time it got to a point where John had enough, dragging her screaming into a room upstairs. Elisa and you were paralyzed, then came the shook of hearing Anna scream. Both of you were ushered to your room by Kyle. He had an apologetic smile on his face. As it turned out Johns Patients could run out. You swear you could hear her screaming and sobbing through the walls.
After a while, which felt like forever, Anna came back. Stumbling into the room, pushed a little harder then necessary by Simon. Her face was scrunched up hatred and Pain clear on her face. The second she blobbed down, a gasp escaped her. Elisa was shaking, staring wide eyed. She hadn't said much the whole time but now her voice was shaking "What happened? Are you okay?" Annas gaze flicked to Elisa, seeming like she had found a outlet for her pent up anger. "What the f***ing s**t does it look like, that mo****ucker bend me over his knee. I swear i will kill them all, does f**ing a**holes!" The last part she stomped her foot into the ground. Elisa was taken aback, big tears starting to stream down her cheeks. You slide next to her. You were never good at leaving someone in distress alone. She showed you a small smile, grateful for the silent support. Anna was still huffing, adjusting her position every other minute. None of you spoke again, the air tense with unsaid emotions and words.
You thought that would be it, Anna realizing that these men were more then ready to punish bad behavior. But quite the contrary, now her hackles were raised even higher up. Pride bruised, clawing in her to prove herself, that she was better then Elisa and you. That she wouldn't take this kind of treatment.
And just like that the punishments became more for her. John or sometimes Simon dragging her of to a room to reel her back in. For a moment you start thinking, maybe she liked this kind of treatment, but seeing her come back, with a crunched up face, tear streaks on her cheeks and muttering insult, you shacked the thought of. She even got more aggressiv as time went one. Not with you since you just started to ignore her rambling, but Elisa was a ideal target for her. The first time she herself raised her hand against Elisa was the breaking point. It has been weeks since you were imprisoned here.
The men and you three were sitting at the dinner table. It nearly felt homely, aside from Elisas shaking hands and Annas head staying down. The men feeling comfortable enough to talk and joke around. With Johnny and Kyle doing most of the talking. Simon grunting here and there in answer. John huffing with small laughter, watching his boys interact. You were nearly jealous of what they had. You lived alone, it had been a long time since you sat together with someone to eat, feeling like you belong somewhere.
John seemed to feel your turmoil. His intense, warm gaze finding yours, zeroing in on you. In them a promise. In the way the skin around them crinkled softy lays a offer for more. You shrink back a little, fiddling with your hands under the table. You watch as Johnny stretches his hand slowly towards Anna. She must see it, too. Before he even gets in her closer space, she is already on her feet. The chair landing behind her with a loud bang, her chest is heaving, hard breaths escape from her lips. For a moment everyone stills.
Slowly, with small hands Elisa is reaching out for her, just like you did for her before. The moment she makes contact with her skin everything goes down fast. With a harsh flinch, Annas hand is in the air and a loud, cracking slap sounds out. Then Simon is already on her, skipping the distance in inhuman speed. Elisas cry is not fully over, when she goes down to the floor. You get to her as fast as you can, cupping her hand that is holding her cheek. In your side vision you can see John and Simon dragging Anna away. Holding her by her long hair, not even trying to be gentle. She is screaming, roaring insults at everyone, her nails scratching at the hands holding her.
You focus on Elisa, feeling the tears on your joined hands. Next to her is Johnny, whispering calm words right into her ear. She starts shaking now, her crying turning into full blown sobs. Kyle is patting Johnnys Shoulder, a silent conversation between them. Johnny seems to hesitate but faces you head-on the next second.
"Bonnie, take 'er up, calm 'er down eh?" You nod, helping a shaking Elisa up and into your room. Cradling her on your bed, trying to give her comfort with your embrace. After a while she slowly sits up more, "....do you think they will hurt her?" It took a while for you to understand that she meant Anna. You frown slightly, pursing your lips a little. "Maybe they will spank her again, but i can't tell you, how are you? Does your cheek hurt much?"
"It is okay, nothing to bad." She looks down for a moment, blinking a couple of times before looking at you again, "Do you think we will be able to leave someday?" Both of you stay silent, gazes locked, knowing the answer without words. She sights, shuffling a little closer, leaning against you again. Her warm seeps into you, relaxes you in your Relevation, keeping the panic down. This night you lay wide awake, Anna still hasn't come back. Elisa and you sharing the bed as a matter of course.
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batcavescolony · 9 months ago
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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titanicnerd-blog · 2 years ago
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Flynn getting outsmarted by Lucy and all he can do is smile like a goofy idiot 🤪 😂 anybody else would be furious but, oh ok, my future gf is SO SMART!!
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“What?”
“We’ve been played, that’s what.”
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sunni-stuff · 4 months ago
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Standing outside your apartment, Simon tightened his grip around the wooden toy train, the corners of the box digging slightly into his palm. His heart thrummed uncomfortably in his chest—a sensation far too foreign for someone who’d faced down worse odds than this. He was used to calculating risks, taking them head-on, but this? This wasn’t a battlefield; it was something infinitely more terrifying. He was meeting his daughter.
He cast a glance at the train in his hand, a sturdy, well-crafted toy he and Johnny had spent hours picking out earlier that day. The shopkeeper’s amused expression still lingered in his mind—two grown men scrutinizing toy trains as though the fate of the world rested on their choice. You hadn’t been specific, just a train, no frills, nothing cartoonish. And so Simon had chosen the simplest one, figuring it was better to err on the side of practicality.
Beside him, Johnny leaned casually against the wall, spinning a plastic-cased mermaid Barbie in his hands. The vibrant teal-and-pink packaging clashed starkly with the air of seriousness Simon carried.
Simon scowled, his gaze darting to the doll. “I told you, no dolls. She said no dolls.” His voice was low and rough, almost a growl, though it carried more nervous energy than actual anger.
Johnny raised an eyebrow, smirking as he turned the Barbie over in his hands. “What kid doesn’t like a Barbie? Eh? You’re overthinking this, big man.” His Scottish accent lent an irreverent edge to his words. “Besides, it’s just a backup. If she doesn’t like the train—which, let’s face it, is a bloody long shot—I’ve got something she’s bound to love.”
Simon shot him a sharp look. “It’s not about the toy,” he muttered, shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “It’s about… makin’ an impression. Proper one.”
Johnny’s smirk softened, his usual teasing tone giving way to something closer to sincerity. “And you think that’s all ridin’ on a train? C’mon, mate, it’s you she’s meeting, not just some toy. Kids aren’t daft—they know when someone’s tryin’.” He tilted his head toward the toy in Simon’s hand. “But, for what it’s worth, that train’s not bad. Proper classic. No gimmicks.”
Simon grunted in response, his attention flicking back to the apartment door. It was a quiet, unassuming building, but the pressure of what lay beyond that door was immense. You were in there with her—Adira. His daughter. The thought still felt surreal, even after the days he’d spent turning it over in his mind. He’d seen her before, from a distance, but that was different. This was too personal in a way he wasn’t sure he was prepared for.
“I should’ve brought the others,” Simon muttered under his breath, more to himself than Johnny.
Johnny’s eyes twinkled with humor. “Aye, because showin’ up with the whole bloody team wouldn’t be overwhelming at all, eh? ‘Here’s yer dad, and here’s his army of uncles.’ Real subtle.”
Simon huffed a dry laugh despite himself, the tension in his shoulders loosening just a fraction. Johnny always had a knack for cutting through his nerves, even when Simon wasn’t in the mood for it.
The sound of footsteps on the other side of the door snapped Simon’s attention back to the moment. His pulse quickened as the lock turned, and the door creaked open to reveal you standing there, a mixture of caution and curiosity etched into your expression. You didn’t say anything right away, your gaze darting between Simon, Johnny, and the toys in their hands.
“Hi,” Simon managed, his voice quieter than he’d intended. He cleared his throat, adjusting his grip on the train. “Uh… thought I’d bring somethin’ she might like.”
You glanced at the train, then at Johnny’s Barbie, raising an eyebrow. “I see Johnny didn’t listen,” you comment dryly, though there was a hint of amusement in your tone.
Johnny grinned, unbothered. “Insurance, lass. Always good to have a backup plan.”
Stepping aside, you gestured for them to come in. “Well, let’s see how this goes. She’s in the living room.”
Simon felt the air grow heavier as he crossed the threshold, each step bringing him closer to something he’d been equal parts dreading and hoping for. The sound of quiet giggles and the rustle of toys came from the living room, and he stopped short in the hallway, his hand tightening instinctively around the train.
“You okay?” you asked curiously, your question laced with something he couldn’t quite place—concern? Reassurance?
He nodded stiffly, though he wasn’t entirely sure who he was convincing. “Yeah,” he said, masking his unease. This wasn’t the time to let emotions run wild, not when his daughter was just a few steps away. He needed to reel everything, keep composed.. “Just… takin’ a moment.”
Johnny clapped him on the shoulder, his grin unfaltering. “You’ve got this, mate. And if all else fails—” he held up the Barbie with a dramatic flourish—“I’ve got you covered.”
Simon rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at his lips. “Thanks for that,” he muttered dryly.
He took a grounding breath, then stepped into the living room. The sight that greeted him stopped him in his tracks—Adira, sitting cross-legged on the floor, a miniature train set spread out before her. Her dark hair fell in delicate curls around her face, and her eyes, so startlingly like his own, lit up with delight as she guided a tiny train along the tracks.
The world seemed to narrow, every noise fading into the background except for the sound of her soft laughter. This was his daughter, and for the first time, he wasn’t just watching from afar—he was here.
Adira looked up, her curious gaze locking onto him. Simon’s heart leapt into his throat as she tilted her head, studying him with a mix of curiosity and caution. Before he could speak, Johnny stepped forward, a grin plastered across his face as he crouched beside her.
"Hey, bonnie lass," Johnny greeted, bringing in  warmth and cheerfulness. He held out the mermaid Barbie, its plastic casing shimmering in the soft light. “Look what I got for ye.”
Adira blinked at him, her small head tilting to the side in the same assessing way she’d done with Simon. Then, in a voice as sweet as it was blunt, she said, “Ugee.”
Simon held back a laugh, but Johnny froze, his grin faltering. Did she just call me ugly again? he thought, momentarily stunned before recovering with a sheepish laugh.
“Oh, come on, lass. That’s no way to treat yer Uncle Johnny,” he teased, though his pride was clearly bruised. He pushed the doll a little closer, his voice softening. “It’s for you. Look—she’s got a shiny tail and everything.”
Adira’s expression shifted, her curiosity piqued as she finally reached for the doll. Johnny’s face lit up with relief, and he turned to you and Simon with a victorious smirk. “Told ya,” he mouthed, his tone smug.
Simon raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, while you merely crossed your arms, waiting for what you knew was coming.
The sound of plastic ripping shattered Johnny’s moment of triumph. His head whipped around just in time to see Adira pull the doll free from its packaging with surprising efficiency. She studied it for a moment, her tiny fingers gripping the head and the body. And then—pop—the doll’s head came clean off.
Johnny’s jaw dropped as he watched Adira inspect the decapitated doll with silent satisfaction. She set the head down beside her, then held up the now-headless body, apparently contemplating her next move.
Simon let out a chuckle, unable to hide his amusement as Johnny gawked at the scene, his earlier smugness entirely gone. “Well,” Simon drawled, unable to hide his dry humor. “Guess she wasn’t a fan after all.”
Johnny turned back to you and Simon, his expression caught between disbelief and betrayal. “What… what kind of kid just does that?!” he demanded, gesturing wildly at the scene behind him.
You shrugged, biting back a laugh. “I warned you about the dolls.”
Johnny shook his head, still reeling as he muttered under his breath, “She’s Sid from Toy Story incarnate, I swear.”
Adira, seemingly unbothered by the fuss, returned her focus to her trains, contentedly adding the doll’s head to a makeshift pile of "cargo." Johnny looked ready to protest further, but Simon stepped forward, crouching to her level and holding out the wooden train.
“Hi,” he spoke softly, his voice steady despite the lingering laughter in his chest. “I brought you somethin’. Thought you might like it.”
Adira didn’t respond right away, her eyes bouncing between him and the toy. Then, slowly, she reached out, her small fingers brushing against the train before taking it from his hands. Unlike the Barbie, she carefully opened the box, her movements deliberate and methodical. She removed the wooden train gently, inspecting it for a moment. Without a word, she added it to the tracks, her attention already back on her play as if nothing else in the world mattered.
Simon stayed crouched, watching her intently. A flicker of relief crossed his face at her acceptance of the gift. The room, heavy with unspoken tension just moments before, now felt lighter, though Simon could feel the enormity of the moment pressing against his chest.
You appeared at his side, crouching slightly to meet his eye, a small grin on your lips. “That’s a good sign,” you murmured, keeping your voice low. “She doesn’t usually let people touch her trains.”
Simon exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His gaze flickered back to Adira, watching as she carefully positioned the new train car alongside the others, her focus unwavering. It wasn’t much—just a small gesture—but it felt monumental. A start.
“She’s got good taste,” Simon adds, a touch of pride in his tongue as he nodded toward the tracks. “Knows quality when she sees it.”
You chuckled, the sound easing the edges of Simon’s nerves. “It’s not just that,” you replied, your eyes lightening as you watched Adira. “Trains are her world. If she’s letting you into it, even a little…” You trailed off, leaving the implication hanging in the air.
Simon nodded, his throat tightening with a mix of emotions he wasn’t used to confronting. For a moment, he allowed himself to simply watch her, the curve of her cheek, the determined set of her brow as she pushed the train forward, creating a soft click-clack noise against the wooden tracks. He thought of all the moments he’d missed, all the firsts that had come and gone without him. But now, sitting there on the floor of your apartment, watching his little girl play, he felt something unfamiliar: hope.
“It’s a start,” he murmured, more to himself than to you. And for now, that was enough.
Johnny hung back near the doorway, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the tender scene unfold. Simon, a man he’d always seen as unshakable and stoic, was crouched beside Adira, his usually guarded expression diminished by a rare, genuine grin. Johnny didn’t dare interrupt—this wasn’t his moment. He was just a spectator, standing on the sidelines as a long-standing divide finally began to close.
The warmth in the room tugged at Johnny’s own heart, and though he wasn’t one for sentimentality, the sight was too good to pass up. Without a word, he slipped his phone from his pocket, angling it just right to snap a quick picture. Simon’s grin, lopsided and proud, was illuminated by the soft glow of the lamp, his large frame almost comically dwarfed by the tiny train set and the little girl at its center.
Satisfied with the shot, Johnny smirked to himself as he typed out a caption: “Big man, small trains. Heart officially melted. ” He hit send, the photo shooting off to the group chat where the lads were bound to have a field day with it.
Moments later, his phone buzzed with a flurry of responses:
Roach: “Never thought I’d see Ghost look so human.”
Gaz: “He’s got the ‘Dad Look’ down already. Almost feel bad making fun of him.”
Price: “I don’t. Send more pics.”
Stifling a snicker, Johnny shoved his phone back into his pocket. He glanced back at Simon, who was completely absorbed in Adira’s world, watching as she pushed the new train along the tracks with the utmost concentration. The sheer joy and focus on her face seemed to draw Simon further into her orbit, as if nothing else existed but the tiny, clacking train set.
Johnny shook his head fondly. Big, scary Ghost, he thought, brought to his knees by a wee lass and a wooden train. It was a sight he’d never forget.
Johnny slipped out of the apartment with a quiet click of the door, leaving the two of you in a silence that felt both comfortable and weighty. His absence left the air clearer, yet filled with the unspoken. As Adira remained engrossed in her trains, her murmurs creating a gentle rhythm in the background, you found your mind racing with a single, unrelenting question:
What now?
Giving her toys was one thing. Simon showing up, physically present, was a start. But the path ahead of you wasn’t so simple. Building a connection took more than gifts and fleeting moments. Adira was too young to truly grasp the gravity of this shift in her world. Telling her outright that Simon was her father didn’t feel right—not now. That conversation would be better left for a day when she could fully understand it.
You rose from your position near him, brushing off your knees as you took a real long look at her. There it was, in her little mannerisms, her sharp focus, the way her brow furrowed just slightly as she concentrated—it was him. So much of him. And the way Simon’s gaze relaxed as he watched her? You could see it, plain as day. He wanted to be there for her.
And you wanted her to be happy.
The realization hit you with clarity: the best way to make this transition smooth was to let Simon find his place naturally. He couldn’t make up for all the firsts he’d missed, but there was still time for so many more moments.
“So…” you began, your voice quiet but heavy, the word hanging between you like an unspoken question. You turned to face Simon, watching him carefully as he sat cross-legged on the floor, his broad frame surprisingly small in this intimate space. He was still holding that wooden train, his fingers gently brushing over the smooth surface like it was something sacred.
Simon looked up at you, his eyes catching yours, and he shifted slightly, his posture relaxed, but there was something else—something vulnerable yet determined. "So," he echoed, his voice unshakable, though you could hear the undertone of apprehension, a slight tremor of uncertainty beneath his calm façade. He wanted to be open, to show you he was ready for whatever was coming next, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what that was.
You crossed your arms, not out of defiance but out of the need to ground yourself. It was a physical gesture, a way to hold yourself steady in the face of everything that had led to this moment. “This isn’t going to be easy,” you said, the words a simple statement, but they carried meaning.
“I didn’t expect it to be,” Simon replied, his voice firm, the same way it would sound in the midst of a mission, when the stakes were high. The seriousness in his tone wasn’t lost on you. But there was more than just the soldier in him now—there was a father. "But I’m here. I want to try. For her." His eyes darted to Adira, his gaze lingering on her as she lined up her train set with careful precision. It was a look filled with fierce, almost protective determination, and it tugged at your chest.
“For her,” you agreed, your heart swelling with the truth of it. “She deserves that. But it’s not just about showing up with toys. It’s about showing up for her. Being there when she needs you, even if it’s hard. Even if she pushes you away at first.”
Simon’s jaw tightened as you spoke, and you saw the muscles in his neck flex, as though he was fighting against something—maybe the grandness of what this all meant, maybe his own doubts. “I can do that,” he said after a pause, his voice low but resolute. “I will.”
“You’ll have to.” Your tone tender, but you still held that edge of playful taunting. It was your way of testing the waters, of gauging if he was truly prepared for what this would take. “She’s stubborn. Wonder where she gets that from.”
Simon huffed a quiet laugh, and a faint smirk forming on his mouth. For a brief moment, the walls he’d built around himself seemed to weaken, just a little. “Aye, can’t imagine,” he replied, the humor easing some of the tension in the room.
There was a pause, the room settling into a calm that hadn’t been there before. You watched as Simon glanced back at Adira, his eyes lingering on her as she placed another train down, her little brow furrowed in concentration. The sight was almost too much for him—this was his flesh and blood, sitting right there in front of him, in this quiet, domestic world he hadn’t been a part of.
“First things first—likes and dislikes.”
The words hung in the air for a moment, but you didn’t wait for him to respond. You turned on your heel and slipped into the kitchen, the quiet tension that had settled between you both diminishing. Simon, sitting cross-legged on the floor near Adira, was still absorbing the weight of everything unfolding. His gaze followed you as you disappeared into the next room, the brief silence stretching between the two of you.
When you returned, you were holding a file—nothing flashy, just a plain folder. You approached him and handed it over, watching as he hesitated, the weight of the paper in his hands heavier than it appeared.
The sight inside that greeted him threw him off guard—pages upon pages of meticulously written details. At first glance, it looked like a detailed report, every section filled with information about Adira’s daily routine, preferences, and even the smallest of habits. Her favorite snacks, the way she liked her sandwiches cut in triangles. Each page was packed with specifics: her reactions to certain foods, her favorite colors, how she responded to certain sounds and even what she liked to do on rainy days—took him completely off guard.
Simon blinked at it, flipping through the pages as if trying to find a sense of grounding in the flood of information. It was overwhelming, but what struck him the most was how thorough it was—how much you had put into it. Everything about her, everything you alone learned over the years, all laid out for him to see.
The file was thick, packed with details. The more he flipped through, the more surprised he became. Notes jotted in neat handwriting with labeled sections.There wasn’t just filled with cold, clinical notes. It also contained moments of tenderness, small anecdotes about how Adira reacted to certain situations or things that made her smile. You had carefully noted the songs she liked to sing along with, how she would curl up on the couch when she was feeling down, the exact way she liked her bedtime story read.
Simon looked up at you, his expression one of confusion and curiosity. “What is all this?” he asked quietly, his voice tinged with surprise.
You offered him a faint smile, though there was no real humor in it. “Before you think I’m crazy or paranoid,” you began, raising your hands slightly in defense, “I work at the daycare around the corner, and Adira comes with me. It’s policy to keep these records—just in case. You know, since some kids have allergies, or there are specific things we need to be aware of.”
He nodded, still flipping through the file, as if seeing this list of Adira’s little quirks and habits for the first time made her seem more real. More like a child who had to be cared for, understood, and loved in ways that went far beyond simply showing up with a toy.
“I didn’t know you’d been keeping track of all of this,” A look of genuine surprise crossed his face. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know you’d been doing so much.”
You shrugged slightly, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “It’s nothing. Just making sure she’s okay.” There was an edge of vulnerability to your words, as if you were downplaying the emotional weight of it all.
Simon’s fingers lingered on the pages, his gaze skimming the words as if trying to understand the depth of the commitment you had for Adira. It wasn’t just about her well-being, it was about every little thing that made her, her.
“You really do know everything about her, don’t you?” he said, his voice tinged with awe.
You nodded, feeling a warmth spread through you at his reaction. It wasn’t about control or being overprotective—it was about ensuring that every part of Adira’s world was in order, even when you weren’t looking.
“I know what she likes, what she dislikes. I know how she reacts when she’s tired or overstimulated. I know what makes her laugh and what makes her cry. It’s not about keeping tabs, it’s about making sure she feels safe. Especially with everything changing right now.”
Simon absorbed your words quietly, the weight of the file heavy in his hands. The realization hit him like a punch in the gut. You had been doing this alone for so long—carrying the weight of all these little details, managing the complexity of motherhood without the support he should’ve been offering.
“She’s lucky,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “You’ve done more than I can even imagine.”
You didn’t say anything at first. The simplicity of his words caught you off guard, making you feel a bit exposed. “It’s just what you do for them,” you replied, your voice softer now, more vulnerable. “You do what you can to make sure they’re okay.”
Simon closed the file slowly, processing what it meant. He felt a surge of something—guilt, maybe, or a quiet ache—as he realized just how much he’d missed. He’d been absent for so many of the small, seemingly insignificant moments that made up Adira’s life. And now, looking at the file, he could feel the weight of his absence more than ever.
“I want to know it all,” Simon said quietly, his voice full of resolve. “Every little thing. I don’t care how small it seems. I want to learn everything about her.”
Your heart skipped at his words, and for the first time, you felt a sense of stability knowing he’d be around to lift some of the hardship off your shoulders. For once, it wouldn’t just be you anymore.
“Good,” Your voice filled with quiet approval. “Because it’s going to take time. And you’ll need to be patient.”
“I can do that,” he replied, his jaw set with determination. “I’m not going anywhere.”
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By 6 AM sharp, there he was—a solid, familiar figure standing at your door with his sleeves rolled up and a faint, hesitant smile. He never asked if you needed help; he simply showed up, ready to lend a hand. Simon didn’t just want to be in your life—he wanted to belong in it. Every visit to your apartment wasn’t just about showing up; it was about figuring out how to bridge the gap between her world and his. You had been Adira's anchor, her everything. Simon understood that, respected it, but he was intent on creating his own place in her little universe—one small gesture at a time.
At first, his kitchen skills left a lot to be desired. You insisted you could handle breakfast on your own, but Simon waved you off, determined to prove himself. Adira sat in her highchair, small fingers clutching a slice of strawberry as she watched her father with wide, curious eyes. He wrestled with the stovetop like it was an enemy combatant, flipping pancakes that somehow always ended up sticking or splattering in every direction. A particularly ambitious flip sent batter flying, splattering across his shirt and the counter.
Adira paused mid-chew, her sharp little eyes zeroing in on the mess. "Messy man," she mumbled around the strawberry, her tone matter-of-fact but laced with childish amusement.
Simon froze, mid-swipe with a paper towel, and glanced at her, eyebrows shooting up. “What’d you call me?”
"Messy man," she repeated, a little more confidently this time, giggling as she pointed at the batter streaked across his chest.
You couldn’t help but laugh as Simon groaned, shaking his head with mock exasperation. “I’ll remember that,” he muttered, though there was no hiding the faint smile that tugged at his lips.
Despite the mishaps, he never gave up. Day by day, the kitchen disasters became fewer. He learned that Adira liked her pancakes shaped like stars if you had the time and that a dollop of whipped cream on top made her clap her hands with delight. He discovered she preferred her strawberries sliced thin, not chunky, and that she hated the crusts on toast but loved when it was cut into neat little triangles.
More importantly, while you were around, Adira began to interact with him in ways you hadn’t expected. She would babble at him as he cooked, her little hands waving animatedly as though she was offering advice. He listened as if she were telling him the most important secrets in the world, nodding solemnly and responding in his deep, rumbling voice.
One morning, as he handed her a plate with her favorite star-shaped pancakes, she looked up at him with a toothy smile, “Thank you, messy man.”
Simon froze, his grip tightening on the plate for just a second before he crouched down to her level. “You’re welcome, love,” The endearing nickname left his lips with ease, carrying an edge of something raw and tender.
You stood in the doorway, watching the scene unfold with a lump in your throat. This wasn’t just about breakfast. It was about Simon trying—every single day—to show her that he was there, that he wasn’t going anywhere. It was clumsy and imperfect, but it was real. And you couldn’t help but feel the faint stirrings of something like hope, watching the way Adira’s small world seemed to expand to make room for him.
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After some time of this new, unspoken pattern settling in—one that felt like a quiet, gradual understanding—Adira seemed to begin warming up to Simon. It wasn’t as deep or instantaneous as it had been with you, but it was enough. Enough for her to sit at the table, nibbling on the pancakes he’d made. Enough to sit near him and listen to his voice without the immediate urge to run to you. And, perhaps most telling, enough for her to offer him a strawberry one morning before daycare.
Still, there were unspoken boundaries. She wouldn’t let him touch her trains, a sacred realm of hers he dared not trespass. And after a while of him being nearby, she’d often wander back to you, clutching at your leg or climbing into your lap, needing the reassurance of your proximity. 
You saw it in Simon’s eyes sometimes, the flicker of hurt that he quickly masked, brushing it off like it didn’t matter. But it did. You could tell. Adira was studying him from the safety of her bubble, keeping her distance as if trying to figure him out. You couldn’t blame her. Adira had lived her life with you as the constant; Simon was a new element in her world, one she wasn’t sure how to integrate yet.
But you couldn’t help but wonder: Did she need just a little nudge? A chance to have a moment with him—just the two of them—without you hovering nearby to catch her if she fell?
That opportunity came one morning when the daycare announced they would be closing down the toddler classrooms for renovations. Since Adira’s classroom was off-limits, she couldn’t come with you, leaving a gap in her schedule for at least a day or two. It was the perfect chance for Simon to step in and watch her alone, just the two of them.
That morning, Simon arrived as usual, but the atmosphere was different. You were already dressed for work, and Adira sat on the couch, her little frame wrapped in her favorite onesie—a fuzzy lavender number with tiny clouds on the sleeves. Her attention was fixed on the cartoon playing on the screen, her pillow hugged tightly to her chest.
You had considered this moment for a while, weighing the risks and the benefits. You knew how much it would mean to Simon if Adira let him in just a little bit more. But it was still a leap. You couldn’t help but feel the protective instinct rising in you, a sharp edge of caution in your chest. If anything went wrong, if Adira seemed uncomfortable or the situation felt off, you’d be home in a heartbeat. It was your job to protect her, to put her needs above all else—even Simon’s. As much as he was trying, as much as he cared, she was still your child, and her safety and happiness mattered most.
Simon raised an eyebrow as he noticed your state of dress and Adira’s lounging figure. “So, it’s just me and her today?”
You nodded, grabbing your keys. “her classroom is closed for renovations. Figured this would be a good chance for you two to spend some time together.”
He didn’t respond right away, instead Simon seemed to take everything in stride, breathing in deeply, knowing his moment was now.
You couldn’t help but study him for a moment longer, as if reading him for any sign that he was second-guessing himself. But then he smiled at you, it was genuine—reassuring. You had to trust him. You had to let him try.
Walking over to Adira, you knelt beside her, smoothing her hair as you spoke. “Sweetheart, you’re gonna hang out with Simon today, okay? I’ll be back soon.” 
Adira’s brows furrowed, her lips pressing into a tiny pout. “You go?”
“Just for a little while,” you reassured her. “Simon’s going to stay with you, and you’ll have lots of fun. Won’t you?”
Adira looked up at you with those wide, dark eyes, not fully understanding the implications, but offering you a small, shy nod. She then returned her attention to the TV, her little fingers absentmindedly squeezing the fabric of her pillow.
“She’s had her bath, so no worries there,” you swiftly explained, slipping into your role as her mother. “She’s in her onesie because it’s raining today, and for some reason, she loves wearing it on rainy days—I don't understand it but as long as she's happy. There’s food in the fridge, but after a couple of hours, I’d suggest cutting the TV off. Let her color, read, or maybe play with her trains. It gives her eyes a break from the screen. Oh, and rainy days mean pizza. Her favorite place is ‘Mario’s,’ and the number’s on the fridge. She’ll ask for the stuffed crust and extra cheese, light on the sauce.”
Simon absorbed the instructions like a soldier receiving a mission briefing, nodding along as you spoke. His eyes flicked to Adira, who was now idly kicking her feet as she watched the TV, and then back to you. “Got it. Anything else?”
You hesitated for a moment, then let it subside. “Just… be patient with her. She’s still figuring this out. You’re doing great, Simon.”
His lips twitched into a small, almost shy smile. “Thanks.”
You gave him one last glance, scanning for any signs of hesitation or doubt, but his steady demeanor gave you confidence. With a final goodbye to Adira, who waved absently, you headed for the door. With that, you left, the door clicking shut behind you. Your chest felt tight, your every nerve on edge as you walked to work. This was Simon’s test, sure, but it was yours too—trusting someone else with the most precious thing in your life. Only time would tell how it would go.
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The door clicked shut behind you, leaving Simon standing awkwardly in the quiet apartment. Adira stayed exactly where she was, her little form cocooned on the couch, eyes glued to the animated animals bouncing across the TV screen. Simon exhaled through his nose, rubbing the back of his neck as he took in the moment. This was it. His chance.
He crossed the room and sat down next to her, careful not to invade her space. For a moment, the silence stretched between them, thick and uncertain. Adira didn’t so much as glance his way, her focus unwavering as the characters on the screen launched into a cheerful song.
Simon cleared his throat, the sound cutting through the air like an awkward ripple. "So, uh," he started, his voice low and unsure, "you like it when it rains?"
Adira finally looked up at him, her big, curious eyes meeting his. She blinked a couple of times, processing his question, before giving a small, shy nod.
"Yeah?" he pressed, a soft smile creeping onto his face. "What’s your favorite thing about it? The sound? Jumping in puddles?"
Her lips twitched, almost forming a smile, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she shifted on the couch, pulling her pillow closer as if using it as a shield. Simon waited, giving her time, not wanting to push. Then, as if finding the courage, she mumbled, “The sound.”
“The sound, huh? Me too,” he said, leaning back a bit to ease the tension. “Kinda peaceful, isn’t it? Makes everything... quiet.”
Adira nodded again, this time a little more confidently. Her tiny fingers started to drum on the pillow in her lap, the rhythm mimicking the pitter-patter of raindrops. Simon caught it and grinned.
“You know,” he said, lowering his voice conspiratorially, “I used to watch the rain all the time when I was little. Sometimes I’d sit by the window for hours, just listening. My mum always said I’d get stuck there.”
Adira tilted her head at him, her curiosity evident now. “Why?” she asked, her voice soft and a little unsure, as though she wasn’t entirely ready to start talking freely.
Simon chuckled, scratching his chin. “Dunno. Maybe I thought if I stayed there long enough, I’d see something special, like... I dunno, maybe the rain would make magic happen.”
Her eyes widened slightly at the word magic, and Simon felt a small victory bloom in his chest.
“Magic?” she echoed, her tone a mix of skepticism and interest.
“Oh, yeah,” he replied, leaning in just a little, like he was about to share a secret. “The kind that only shows up when you’re really, really patient. You gotta look close, though.”
Adira’s gaze darted back to the TV for a moment before returning to him, her guard lowering inch by inch. She hugged her pillow tighter but didn’t turn away.
“Maybe,” she murmured, almost too quietly for him to hear, “maybe I’ll see magic too.”
Simon’s chest tightened, a warmth spreading there that he hadn’t felt in years. For the first time, he wasn’t just a stranger in her world; he was someone she was starting to let in.
“Maybe you will,” he said softly, leaning back into the couch. He let the quiet fill the space again, content to sit beside her, waiting for the rain—or the magic—to come.
After a few minutes, Adira reached over to the side table where her sippy cup rested. She grabbed it, then paused, her hand hovering. Slowly, she stretched it out toward him. “Drink?” she offered, her voice small but steady.
Simon blinked, caught off guard by the gesture. It wasn’t much—just a sippy cup of watered-down juice—but it felt monumental. “Thanks, but that’s yours,” he said gently, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
She pulled it back and took a sip herself, nodding like she’d made a grand decision.
Simon chuckled softly. “Fair enough.”
It wasn’t much, but it was something. A small step, a tiny opening, and Simon took it as the win it was.
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The hours slipped by quietly, the sound of the TV buzzing in the background, and before Simon knew it, the three-hour mark had passed. He glanced at the clock, then at the screen, and with a deep breath, he reached over and clicked the power button.
Adira's eyes widened in shock, her little fingers frozen mid-air as she pointed at the now-black screen. "Why?" she asked, her voice a mix of confusion and mild frustration. "I wanna watch..." Her words trailed off, her pout deepening as she looked back at him, like she couldn’t quite understand why he’d taken it away.
Simon bit his lip, fighting a chuckle. "You’ve been watchin' for a while now, kiddo," he said, trying to sound casual, but there was a slight hesitation in his voice. "Time to do somethin’ else, yeah?"
Adira stared at him for a long moment, her little brow furrowed as she processed what he’d said. She didn’t seem convinced at first, her gaze darting back to the black screen as if willing it to come back to life. When it didn’t, she crossed her arms over her chest, her lower lip poking out in a full pout.
“I don’t wanna,” she muttered, voice small but firm. It was clear she wasn’t happy with the decision, but Simon had a feeling it was more about the principle of the matter than the TV itself.
“C’mon now,” Simon said softly, trying to soften the blow. “We can do somethin’ fun. How ‘bout we build somethin' together? Or read a book?”
Her little frown deepened, and Simon almost felt bad for turning the TV off. But this was the first time he’d gotten a moment alone with her, and he knew it was important to break the habit, to show her there were other things to do in the world besides the screen.
She hesitated, her gaze flicking between him and the quiet living room. Then, with a small sigh, she uncrossed her arms and stood up, shuffling toward the toy box with little steps, only to find nothing that interested her.
"Books?" she asked, her voice still laced with uncertainty but tinged with the smallest bit of curiosity.
Simon smiled, feeling a wave of relief. “Books it is,” he said, standing up to join her. “I bet we can find somethin’ that’ll be just as fun as that TV show.”
Adira didn’t answer, but the way she grabbed a book off the shelf made Simon’s heart flutter with a tiny spark of victory. 
Adira returned to Simon’s side, holding a colorful book with a soft, focused expression on her face. The cover was bright, featuring two foxes—one with a bushy tail and the other a smaller, more timid-looking one. The title, No Matter What, was written in bold letters above them. She climbed up beside him and, without a word, placed the book in his lap, her small hands brushing gently against it as if offering him a treasure.
Simon looked down at the book, caught off guard by her quiet gesture. He glanced at her for a moment, meeting her eyes. She looked at him with a silent kind of expectation, waiting.
Slowly, he picked up the book, holding it carefully as if it were something precious. “What’s this?” he asked softly, though it was clear he already had an inkling.
“Foxes,” Adira replied simply, her voice soft but firm. “Mama read it. It’s ‘bout love.”
Simon’s heart tugged at the mention of you. He could imagine the way you’d read to her, the soothing cadence of your voice, the way Adira had probably snuggled up beside you during the bedtime ritual. But there was something in Adira’s face now, something that felt like an invitation—a little piece of trust she was offering him, too.
“Well, alright then,” Simon said, his voice soft as he began to flip open the book. Adira sat close beside him, her tiny hands still on the cover, watching his every move with an intense focus. She didn’t rush him. The silence between them felt comforting.
He began to read aloud, slowly at first, as if still gauging her reaction. “No matter what, the foxes knew that they would always be together, through the rain or the snow, through the darkest nights and the brightest days.”
Adira shifted beside him, her little legs crossing as she settled into his side. Her small hand reached for the page as he turned it, her fingers brushing over the illustrations. She didn’t interrupt, just quietly absorbed the words.
As Simon read on, his voice grew more confident, and the warmth of the moment started to settle between them. For a fleeting moment, it felt like they had bridged a gap, one word at a time, one page at a time. It wasn’t much, but it was something—something to build on.
Adira���s gaze remained fixed on the book, but her body had relaxed against Simon’s, the way a child does when they feel safe. As the last pages of the book came into view, she snuggled closer, her head resting against his shoulder.
When Simon finished reading, he let the book fall softly onto his lap. He looked down at her, her eyes half-closed, but still aware and trusting. She looked up at him again, her tiny voice soft as she spoke. “Foxes love each other... no matter what.”
Simon’s heart thudded in his chest, the simplicity of her words hitting him harder than he expected. He wasn’t quite sure what it all meant yet, but in that moment, it was enough to see her so close, so willing to share something so personal. A bond had begun to form—fragile, yes, but it was there.
“Yeah,” Simon said, his voice barely above a whisper, “no matter what.”
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With the last of the kids sent off and the staff beginning to clean up, you closed up shop, ready to call it a day. But just as you were locking up, a loud clap of thunder rattled the building, causing you to jump in shock. Your heart raced for a moment, the suddenness of it making you freeze in place.
“Jesus, if Adira was here, she’d lose it,” you muttered to yourself, trying to laugh off the shock. But then, your words hit you like a ton of bricks.
If Adira was here.
A chill ran through you as it dawned on you just how careless you’d been. Shit. Shit. Shit. You had completely forgotten to tell Simon about her fear of thunderstorms. She hated them. Hated the loud crashes of thunder, the flashes of lightning. You’d seen her curl up in a ball, her hands over her ears, eyes wide with terror when the storms hit.
The sound of the storm outside was only getting louder, the thunder now booming and crackling as it came closer. You could imagine Adira, sitting there with Simon, eyes wide and full of fear, clutching whatever comfort she could find, and Simon… God, Simon probably didn’t know what to do. He wouldn’t have any idea how to handle it.
Without thinking twice, you dropped everything—your bag, your jacket, anything that wasn’t crucial to getting home. You shot a quick look toward the staff, offering a hasty explanation and apology. Then, without another word, you bolted through the doors, past the remaining parents who were still talking in the lobby, and into the rain.
The rain beat down on you as you sprinted through the streets, the cold droplets stinging your skin as the thunder rumbled overhead. You couldn’t focus on anything but getting home. Adira needs me. Adira needs me.The mantra repeated in your head with each pounding step. Your feet splashed through puddles, the air heavy with the scent of wet pavement and the growing tension in your chest.
It felt like forever as you raced through the downpour, but at last, you reached the building, heart hammering in your chest. You fumbled with your keys, every second feeling like an eternity as the thunder rumbled louder, closer. Hurry, you told yourself, voice shaky as you turned the key and shoved the door open.
The apartment was quiet. Too quiet.
The air felt thick, and as you stepped inside, your eyes instantly darted to the living room.  
On the couch, Simon was sitting with Adira curled up in his side, wrapped tightly in her favorite blanket. Her little body was nestled against his, her small form practically hidden in the folds of the soft fabric. On the coffee table in front of them were the remnants of their quiet afternoon—plastic plates with pizza stains, her sippy cup placed haphazardly next to the mess. Around them, the stack of books you always read to her was scattered across the table: I Love You to the Moon and Back, The Koala Who Could, What Color is a Kiss?—books that had been a staple in your bedtime routine for as long as you could remember.
The sight of them—Adira calm, safe, resting against Simon—caught you off guard. You’d expected panic, chaos, something more… uncertain. But instead, the two of them looked peaceful. Simon’s hand was gently resting on her back, his other arm loosely around her as she drifted in and out of sleep, her head nestled against his chest. She was calm. And that... that made your heart ache in ways you hadn’t expected.
You hadn’t expected Simon to be so… natural with her. He’d stepped up in a way you didn’t think was possible, at least not this soon. Maybe you had underestimated him. Maybe—no, you knew—you had underestimated this. 
Simon, with Adira, was something real.
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Hi so, this took a while, wanted to make this really long for yall. For me as im writing this, it's 5 AM! I've been working on this since 1 PM yesterday. Long Fics are not my strongpoint, I had so much trouble with this because I'm a perfectionist and my tiny brain often repeats words ALOT. I'm working on it and the best way to improve is to keep writing.
As things currently go, I may write shorter things for this family, I want to develop Adira and Simon's relationship more just not with super long stuff like this. I'd also would love to answer any questions or talk about headcanons anyone has about them. Feel free to send asks!
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed and by the time this goes up I'm sure I'll still be asleep!
P.S can someone tell me if I do tags wrong, like ive noticed sometimes when I tag it doesn't have the little underline so I keep thinking it doesn't go through </3
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BIG ASS TAGLIST: @notsochillnerd @xanvasy @nightunite @reyy001 @liliemb04 @doodle-cat16 @wwe1rdc0re @multy-fandom-lover @skylarmitchell @athenianharpy @mxtokko @watu2ka @gifted-aurora @sapphire-jelly26 @janeety @lem-hhn @natdu @honey-teaaaaaaaa @gg-trini @kawaiivanilla-chan @despairinglakepasta @gaida-511 @jayjkay @watersquirtpewpewboomm @nikt-wazny-y @dragon-bubs @thisishwrworld @prettygirlwhoreadsatnite @illusionistlover @just-pure-trash @theliqouricebtch @sullyoung @me-llyssa @drewsuncrustables @phosphoracat @sabrina-senpai @shadowdark00 @imttryi @brokenxintroverted @eevily @aiyaaayei @coffeeandtealol @codcosplayer @scaleniusrm @momoewn @classaysstuff @fancymilkshakewitch @tessakate @a-lil-bit-nuts @beautifuleaglealpaca @vickieesstuff @captainchrisstan @alyyaanna @kaeyasfuturewife @huehuehuehuehehe @allllium @the-number7 @idfkimhereforsmut @katzarantos @tamayakii @7haze @k-bakuhoe @armycaratlover @thecoolestastrophile @montenegroisr @little-b33 @pantheonofbeauty @oooof-ifellforyou @ang3lc @littleracco0n @dravenskye @supaturtl3 @maciswack @carebear209 @bassandlace @3ndar @bespectacledhuman @xshellchenx-blog @astro-stars @avavie @vexillum-moeru @nina-from-317 @gazsluckyhat @1-800-g00ber @yukisdelusional @styx-eclipsed @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @nommingonfood @idkwhattodosooo @noheadcanons-juststories @zaqnette @fluffysmiko @aliciamorov @mageknight-anya @athaliw @princessloveweird @lucypaulette @hikotaru @julesjunimos @xqhro @blushingskulls @foodisbaepinterestislife @thecursebreaker @harperdoodle @taygirl24 @alfie2401 @devoetee @kodokunarisu-blog @lovealwaysserena
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timmydraker · 4 months ago
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Tim accidently referring to the Joker as Dad but those who know about Joker Jr aren’t present and so everyone is left with the ‘realisation’ that Tim is the son of the biggest nightmare to their family.
It’s probably Jason and Steph, her there to bother Tim but Jason went to the manor for food and the two naturally started arguing. Maybe Jason tells Tim to stop costing on his case and prove a point be made against blonde, but Tim just offhandedly goes, “Later, I think my dad broke out of Arkham again but the guards aren’t doing anything. Maybe they’re in on it…”
The two present naturally look at each other with confusion and for the first time stop bickering to peak over his shoulder and see what his case is because, holy shit Tim had a villain for a dad and didn’t tell us? Only to see numerous photos of the Joker in his cell and many reports over the last week of how he’s been behaving and Jason…
Steph pushes the man out of the room when she sees his face go from frozen fear to anger, thinking it’s towards Tim and his secrecy and, while she totally gets that, now isn’t the time.
Though when they get into the Jason starts a rant about how Bruce and Dick should have told him that the monster had a child, even if that child wasn’t Tim! Jason protects kids! Did they think he’d hurt him just because of who his father is?
No!
If anything, he’d become the kids full time body guard to stop that mad man from making Tim into another version of himself!
The two naturally go to tell the others, pulling Damian, Cass and Duke into a mostly unused room and telling them what they discovered, all while Tim stays in the library working on his case.
Cass is beyond worried but also confused because he doesn’t seem to have any physical characteristics of the Joker or Harley, but maybe the mother is different? Perhaps it’s still Janet and either she had a fling with the Joker or something far worse, which makes the young girl enraged on the woman’s behalf.
Damian makes a comment about him killing Tim, not in a serious manner but more as an option, but Duke shuts it down, saying that having a villain for a parent doesn’t mean anything about who you will be. He points out those in the family of that nature and other heroes like Superboy.
When asked why they didn’t get Dick or Babs involved, Jason says they defiantly know and lied about it.
It’s only after another three hours of working that Tim catches himself referring to the Joker as dad and shuts his laptop, making his way to Bruce’s room to hide under the older man’s bed like he usually does when that happens, only to overhear what his siblings are saying.
Tim presses his ear against the door to hear better.
“If that maniac had a kid, surely he’d have told everyone he had an heir or something.” That’s Steph’s voice, filled with worry that only he and Cass could detect as she hides it under a whiney tone.
Jason is next to respond, “maybe he doesn’t know? I mean, did Tim ever even interacted with him before he became Robin?”
It doesn’t take much more than that for Tim to realise that he must have been talking aloud again or absently answered someone earlier and misspoke in front of them.
Panic fills him as he avoids telling Bruce when he gets bad, even if it’s just a small thing, because the older man will start of being a concerned parent then go into Batman mode and only just stop himself from putting Tim in the confinement cell. Sure Tim came up with the idea of the cell so he wouldn’t hurt anyone if his conditioning got too bad, but he’s learnt the signs. He’s not a mindless drone, he still knows who he is and doesn’t hear someone talking to him or anything like that.
He just… sometimes forgets the Joker hurt him.
It’s not Tim’s fault that memories of watching TV with him and Harley, tucked between them with a big bowl of ice cream felt better than most memories of his real parents.
But he knows it’s wrong, always comes back to calling the Joker his enemy.
Bruce just doesn’t get that.
Tim hears them talk a bit more, theories about who his mother might be, if Tim is safe at the manor, if Joker knows he has a son…
Opening the door, Tim stands there and stares at them as all eyes snap to him in alarm.
He doesn’t let anybody speak, cutting them all off quickly, “He’s not my dad. Go the cave and search for file number 26557933301-JJ and put in the code AGELAST, all caps.”
With that he turns and leaves, walking at first before running to Bruce’s room to hide.
He goes to family dinner and pretends not to notice the quietness or how Jason is still there, eating his food quietly and waiting for the ball to drop.
Naturally, Damian is the one to say what he wants first, “So why is okay that Tim shot the joker but I got in trouble for stabbing Bane?”
Everyone groans.
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drdemonprince · 2 months ago
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if sex is no big deal and just a normal thing like having dinner with someone, how do you square that with the belief that children can't consent to sex? Like idk this whole thing of "sex is a normal act like any other and we shouldn't treat it differently" makes me soo uncomfortable because i feel like it's really obviously not in a lot of situations? Otherwise what's the difference between being told by my boss to have lunch with one of our prospective clients being told by my boss to blow one of our prospective clients? :/
let's take your dinner example to its logical conclusion, because you are on to something here, but I don't think quite in the way that you think.
children are forced to eat food that they this really dislike (due to sensory issues, allergies, or just run of the mill unfamiliarity) quite regularly by their caregivers. they are also sometimes denied the right to eat because they didn't behave the way their caretakers liked, and sent to bed hungry, or barred from eating food that they can handle, and instead left to go hungry because they won't eat food they can't handle.
treatment like this causes a lot of food issues and trauma to children. It exacerbates eating disorders and erodes a child's sense of their own body autonomy. It can also cause children to have nutritional issues and a scarcity mentality around food that can be really damaging to them.
similarly, people are forced to share meals with people who they are viscerally uncomfortable around all the time too, often to extreme negative effects. employees are forced to sit down with clients who debase them or harass them. Young people in particular are forced into sharing tables with relatives who have crossed their boundaries, insulted them, abused them, bullied them, and whom they want nothing to do with. people in recovery from eating disorders are surrounded by co-workers, family members, or friends at meal times who speak about calories and weight loss and comment on their own bodies and other people's bodies in incredibly invasive and triggering ways that often make them feel way worse, and make taking care of their own bodies far more difficult.
when a powerful institution wants to exert control over other people, they also often do so using food. prisoners are given almost no control over the kind of food they eat, and are often given very low quality food that is in a disgusting condition, or that violates their own nutritional requirements or religious beliefs. patients in hospitals and in mental institutions are also subjected to such treatment, and people in poverty are expected to eat anything that they are given without complaint. It is an extension of their dehumanization to control and limit the kinds of food they're allowed to access, and how and when they are permitted to eat.
each of these experiences surrounding food can be incredibly violating and harmful. food is quite frequently a tool of control and abuse. yet it is not because there is some magical quality to food or to dinners that make them uniquely fraught with the potential for trauma. these experiences are traumatic because they involve a violation of a person's body autonomy, and a lack of social power.
sex isn't any different from dinner. we just have a series of cultural beliefs surrounding it that make the pressure involving sex something that's both a lot more acknowledged, and mostly encountered in the private realm.
Sex is treated as an almost magical thing, at once both sinister and sacrosanct, and so people are primed to see the potential for harm in it, and it is frequently used as a tool for harming people because it is so loaded, but that doesn't mean there aren't abuses involving every other mundane human activity that we simply are conditioned to ignore because doing so is so normal.
People's body autonomy surrounding food is violated traumatically all the fucking time. unfortunately because we consider dinner to be a neutral activity and sex to be this incredibly fraught and almost magical one, we ignore the massive amounts of coercion, pressure, and violation surrounding food.
your boss shouldn't be able to force you to get dinner with someone. and people are uncomfortable with discussions about body autonomy that neutralize sex, because it forces them to confront how little freedom we actually have in every facet of our lives.
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jamminvroomvroom · 19 days ago
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give me a reason.
LN x fem!reader
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in which… ‘the one where’ lando needs to get his shit together, or lose the love of his life…
hi! it’s me! back again with angst, fluff and filth! i needed to get this the hell away from me bc i worked on it so long that it kinda stopped making sense so i fear this isn’t my best work oopsie! anyways, thanks for being the best bunch ever and pleaseeeeeee let me know what you think - likes, comments and reblogs are so appreciated and make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside soooo you know what to do…
songs to set the vibes: hoax by t swizzle, no i’m not in love by tate mcrae, come over by noah kahan
warnings: 18+!! minors BEGONE! smut, angst!! but also fluff sooo..! friends to something worse to lovers, lando needs to be shot ngl, lando is so messy, max is yet again a victim, r loves wine a lot, alcohol use, swearing, lando has a bitchy gf (we hate her!) for a bit, r is just a girl, p in v, general sex acts, unprotected sex (sigh)
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you’re perched at the edge of the booth watching. pietra plies you with drinks, knowing full well that it’s the only way you’re gonna make it through the evening. max sits beside her, an arm wrapped loosely around her shoulder as he glares at his best friend at the bar.
“he’s such an idiot.” max sighs, polishing off the rest of his drink in one. he knows he’s about to have his ear talked off about lando’s latest fling.
“such an idiot.” p scowls. you just laugh, reach for another shot of vodka.
“what do you guys expect?” you sneer, faking a smile as the bitter liquid warms your belly.
“you guys are meant to be together.” max states. p nods quickly, but pauses.
“not sure if he even deserves you though, baby.” she coos, squeezing your arm softly. you thank her with watery, bleary eyes.
lando’s on his way back over now, the pretty blonde he’d been chatting up for the last ten minutes tucked under his arm. that shuts you all up, but the cold air blasting out of the dimly lit booth could give lando and his mystery woman fatal hypothermia.
“guys, this is casey.” lando grins toothily, ushering you to move around in the booth so they can sit with you. you end up sat between pietra and casey, smushed uncomfortably into the sticky pleather. lando makes the introductions.
“my best friend max, his girlfriend pietra, and,” he clears his throat when his eyes fall on you. “and, um, my other friend.”
my other friend.
you didn’t think he could reach a new low.
“wow.” you hiccup, wriggling closer to pietra.
“i thought she was your best friend.” pietra narrows her eyes at lando, keeps her voice light and teasing.
casey is beautifully oblivious, sky blue eyes remaining firm on the racing driver at her side. you want to throttle them both.
“course. yeah.” he laughs it off awkwardly, before placing all of his attention on his latest conquest. it sounds harsh, sure it does, but you know lando and you know how he operates.
“i’m going. thank you,” you say directly and loudly to max and p, who are shuffling from the seats so you can get out of this prison of couples that you’d been so cruelly trapped in. “for a nice evening.”
you don’t bother to say goodbye to lando.
-
you spend the next morning crying into a cup of coffee, wrapped in three different blankets. deeply, devastatingly hungover.
you spend the afternoon that follows on the phone with max.
“it’ll be over in days, hun, don’t even worry about it. he’s probably trying to get her out of his place right now and can’t even remember her name.” max reassures, and while history would suggest him to be right, something inside of you twists with dread. “i don’t know what he’s playing at.”
“you told me that he… you said he liked me, max.” you groan, hot with embarrassment.
“he did! he does! he thinks you aren’t interested so- “
“i don’t wanna hear it max. i went to abu dhabi, flew in just to surprise him, to finally fucking tell him, and… well you know what happened.”
you’d walked into his hotel room and found him balls deep inside someone else.
needless to say, you weren’t convinced that he was as hopelessly, pathetically in love with you as max claimed him to be; as hopelessly, pathetically in love with you as you were with him.
“i know, i know, but he was hurting. doesn’t excuse the, uh, emotional warfare, but he doesn’t know how you feel.”
“well, at this rate, max, he never will.”
-
you’re stupid for being excited for the group dinner you’ve planned. everyone’s coming, max and p, martin, some of the boys and some of your girls. and lando. you haven’t seen him for a week, not since caseygate, and if you’re being earnest, you don’t really want to. at least he’ll be alone, you think. he doesn’t bring his hookups to group plans.
you think, and god laughs.
he’s the last to arrive, the same blonde with the same striking blue eyes tucked under the same stupid arm. you sink your glass of wine before they even get to the table, leg bouncing frantically against the chair. you swear you see pietras lips recoil into a snarl.
“did you know he was bringing her?” she hisses quietly to max, looking at you cautiously.
“obviously not!” max defends, nostrils flaring.
“sorry we’re late.” you hear from the head of the table. “everyone, this is casey.”
-
half an hour later, after having the magical story of their blossoming relationship shoved down your throat, you escape to the bathroom.
you’re fixing your lipgloss when the door swings open. in casey walks, complete with a hair flick and a tacky, expensive handbag.
“oh, i didn’t even realise you were here tonight.” she speaks, sickeningly false. “i thought i’d notice such a good friend of lando’s.”
you suck in a breath.
“i wouldn’t get too used to little old me.” you shrug, meeting her condescending grin with a better, badder one. “or lando, quite frankly. he’ll get bored soon.”
you leave her in the dust, only letting yourself shake with rage when you know she can’t see you. you bypass the table completely, shoot p a quick text that says you’re going home, and wait for the maître d' to hand you your coat. you wait outside the restaurant for your uber, glance back to see if anyone had even noticed you’d gone. by anyone, you mean one person, and one person only.
lando’s looking around the table, something vacant in his eyes. it’s perhaps the first time you’ve properly looked at him all night. there’s something withered and haunted in his eyes, even from so far away you can see it. he seems to be searching for something, something that he can’t place. someone.
you see that same tired face in your dreams that night, joined by a pretentious, condescending smile, taunting you while you toss and turn.
-
casey becomes such a constant that you’re shocked that lando eventually comes to a party without her. it’s pietra’s birthday, and max is throwing her a party at their apartment.
you’re there early to help max set up when lando walks in, better rested than the last time you’d seen him. he’s wearing a loose white button up and light wash jeans that sit just right, curls a crown atop his head.
“no casey?” max asks subtlety as him and lando hug. you make no move to greet him.
“nah, she had other plans.” he scratches his nose as he says it, and you know it’s a lie. it’s been his tell as long as you’ve known him.
max stares awkwardly between you both, gesturing his head wildly towards you when he knows you’re not looking. lando shrugs, frantic silent conversation transpiring between them until you turn around.
“fuck, forgot candles. silly me! be back in ten.” max doesn’t give you a chance to breathe before he’s darting out the door, jacket slung over his arm. you glare as he disappears out the door.
“you gonna talk to me?” lando questions, hands shoved deep in his pockets. he tries to sound light, nonchalant but it just comes off standoffish, an awkward reminder of just how much distance there is between you now, and how much there has been since he made it his personal mission to sleep with every woman he laid eyes on. except you.
“depends.” you reply flatly.
“on?” you can hear his footsteps against the hardwood floor, inching closer and closer. your hands shake as you untangle the balloons, pouring them out of the packet onto the table. you feel the heat of him before you see him, closing in on you. it’s been so long since you’ve been this close to him that you can anticipate each movement before he even makes it, your senses ultra heightened.
your breath shakes.
“on?” he presses, aware of just how stubborn you can be. “what’s going on with you?”
“nothing, lando. tired, busy, the usual. nothing crazy.” you attempt to shrug him off, but apparently he’s not done with you.
“then why can’t you look at me? did i do something?” he chokes out a laugh, a revelation of how uncomfortable he is.
you brave the sight of him, turning slowly until you’re face to face. he looks beautiful, freshly shaved, curls tamed back but not enough to stop them from hanging over his forehead to frame his face. just the way you like them.
“see? nothing wrong.” you smile tightly, wondering if he can see the effort it takes to make your face move for him, if he can see the tension coursing through your veins like electricity. he seems to scan your face, taking his time, before he sighs, hums like he’s finally satisfied.
“so you’ve been busy?” lando asks, trying to revert to your status quo, but you can’t bare the agony of pretending. “hardly seen you since, uh, abu dhabi.”
“yep.” you quip, disappear into the kitchen just as you hear max’s keys in the front door.
-
a few hours later everyone’s had too much to drink, and the party is in full swing. lando’s persisted more than you thought he’d bother to, and you’ve managed to exchange sentences made up of more than three words apiece. you’ve left your circle to get a drink, about to slip into the kitchen, but hushed whispers stop you from entering.
your blood runs cold when you realise that one set of frantic whispers belong to lando, the other to max. you feel that you should leave, come back when it’s all clear but something tugs on your heartstrings and ties you to the threshold of the room. maybe it’s the possibility for closure, or worse, hope.
“mate you called me basically crying, telling me how in love with her you are, and when she gets there, you’re fucking someone else! what the fuck do you want from her, man?” max spits.
“how the fuck was i supposed to know she was gonna show up?” lando retorts, an edge of desperation in his voice.
“the real question is: why would you sleep with someone if you feel that way about her? why are you fucking around? why are you with casey?”
“because i was hurt, max! she’s been going on all these dates, talking about guys she’s seeing and, what, i’m supposed to put my life on hold waiting for her to love me back? i can’t do it anymore. i can’t.” lando’s voice cracks at the end and you lean into the wall, unable to feel your legs.
“you could have told her, you idiot.” max is having none of the pity party, it seems, finally ready to knock some sense into your mutual best friend.
“and ruin everything? she clearly didn’t want to be with me.” lando argues. max sighs.
“if you actually think that, then you’re a lost cause, mate.” you hear what you assume is. sympathetic slap on the back.
“i’m doing fine with casey, i’m finally getting somewhere. jesus, i haven’t even slept with her yet.” lando whines. your heart stops on the other side of the door.
“so, it’s serious then? you and casey?” max asks, skeptical.
“it could be.” lando admits.
you put yourself out of your misery, loudly opening the door to the kitchen. you act aloof, surprised to see them, but the crease in your forehead is all max needs to see. he knows you heard at least some of it. fifteen years of friendship with him means he can read you like a book. fifteen years of friendship with lando has done nothing but break your heart.
“sorry, guys, didn’t know you were in here.” you feign nonchalance. “just need a drink.” you slide past lando, watching the way his back ripples with tension at the slight brush of your body against his. you let out a deflated breath, wrapping your hand around a cold can of god knows what. all you know is you need a drink, and you need to get out of this fucking kitchen.
you find pietra on the makeshift dance floor, join her and your friends to spin and twirl and forget about the man who’s stood in the corner doing nothing but watch you.
-
a week passes. lando’s wine drunk. you’re laying across one of his sofas, sharing with him, and max and p sit on the other sofa. you’re all giggling about nothing in particular, latest gossip, old anecdotes, random shit that no one’s sober enough to not laugh at. it feels like balance is being slowly restored, like the good old days before it all went sour.
“still can’t believe you did a whole lap of the ski lodge naked.” you tease lando, smirking at him from your end of the sofa. you nudge his thigh with your foot, and he grabs your ankle, thumbing over the sensitive skin.
“a dare is a dare.” he replies, grinning back at you, his gaze lingering even when max interjects.
“again, mate, no one fucking dared you to do that.” max shouts, and you all descend into laughter again.
“i did not need to see some of the things i saw that night.” p grimaces playfully, and you can’t help but flush at the memory of lando’s bare ass disappearing into the snow.
“agreed.” you say, drawing lando’s eyes back onto you.
“you know you loved it.” he raises an eyebrow at you, and you stare bashfully into the wine glass in your hand. you feel his hand squeeze, nails ghosting above your ankle, making you shiver.
“got an early morning tomorrow, fuck.” max groans. “better get going.”
you hug him and p goodbye, graciously offering to help lando tidy up a little as the couple leaves the driver’s london apartment for their own.
you’re carrying empty glasses into the kitchen when you spot it, and it stops you dead in your tracks. the same handbag that casey had carried into that bathroom all those weeks ago. your skin tingles, a phantom touch making you burn.
“so you and, uh, casey are getting serious, huh?” you mumble, finally making it into the open plan kitchen.
lando stands on the opposite side of the marble counter, a tea towel slung over his shoulder, disgustingly domestic.
for her, though. never for you.
“not sure.” he responds flippantly.
“must be, can’t remember the last time you kept a girl around this long.” your attempt at a joke falls flat, even though he’s still tipsy, flushed with alcohol.
“s’that supposed to mean?” lando asks, boyish and defensive.
“nothing, just… you haven’t really seemed in a relationship-y place.” you remark, trying to appear casual as you place the glasses on the countertop.
“i wasn’t but i realised i needed to get my shit together. haven’t even-“ he starts, but cuts himself off abruptly.
“haven’t what?” you press, finding a cloth to wipe the marble clean.
“don’t wanna make things weird by telling you that kinda stuff.”
“lando, you called me when you lost your virginity and couldn’t find your way out of her apartment building. commando. you can tell me.” you deadpan.
as much as you could do without a play by play of his newfound relationship and changed ways, he’s your friend first, and he seems like he needs a shoulder. it would be careless, cruel, even, to deny him of that.
“well, we haven’t, uh, you know.” he looks at you intensely.
“oh. still?”
lando looks at you strangely, wondering what on earth you mean by that, but you swoop in with a get out of jail card that stops him from figuring out you’d eavesdropped.
“i mean, haven’t you guys been together for like a month?” you continue.
“yeah but i guess i figured i should take it slower, deviate from my, uh, usual way.” he admits, scratching his neck.
“oh, that’s… nice.”
“not according to casey.” he mutters, slinging the tea towel across the counter, frustrated.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” you enquire, avoiding eye contact.
“i don’t know, she’s just… she wants it and, fuck, i was trying to be a good fucking guy for once.” lando sighs, disheartened. his eyes are trained on you but you can’t meet his gaze, it would destroy you. “i spent so much time unhappy, wanting something i can’t have, so now i just… what would,” he inhales sharply, centring himself. “what would you want?”
“huh?” you squeak, daring to look at him. the room fades away in the intensity of his stare, his eyes boring into yours. the counter that separates you grounds you, stops you from dropping to your knees and begging him to love you.
“what would you want? how would you want that to be, your first time with someone?”
you stop breathing, curling your fingers around the cool marble.
“i… i don’t know.” you whisper.
“sorry, i knew this would be weird.” he rushes out.
“no, it’s not! well, yeah it is, but,” you inhale deeply. “if it were me, i guess i’d want you to… catch me off guard.” you murmur, leaning against the counter, the swirled marble cool against the bare sliver of skin that your ridden up t shirt exposes. “you know, with a really good kiss - soft at first, but the kind that… as it gets deeper, you know something so good is about to happen.”
lando stares at you, mouth hanging open as you speak softly, so earnestly, into the empty space between you. it seems like a million miles keeps you apart, and his eyes go wild, hungry, like he wants to crawl over the surface and pin you to it as he hangs on to your every word.
“i don’t really know,” you continue, trying to brush it all off, pretend that your entire body isn’t on fire, like you’re not itching for something that cannot be scratched. “but i suppose you’d pull me close, so i’m pressed up against you, and then it would get kind of sweaty, blurry… and then it’s just happening.”
lando seems to be bracing himself, holding position, a tension running through his body that wasn’t there before. he’s flushed, and if you squint, there’s a bead of sweat slowly dripping down his forehead, giving him away. your nails dig into your palms, a reboot to your system, and you shuffle backwards awkwardly, recoiling from the counter that keeps you from him.
“okay. uh, okay.” he whispers, nodding rapidly. “i’ll keep that it mind.”
“i’ll put the glasses away in the dining room.” you tell him hurriedly, grabbing the stems and hurtling out of the kitchen. when you reach his dining room, where the air seems to be much thinner, normal, you exhale shakily and book an uber.
“thought you would stay here.” lando strains when you tell him, watching you shrug your coat on.
“can’t tonight.” you reply, clipped.
“can we… can we get dinner this week maybe? just us?” lando pleads, doesn’t even try to hide the desperation in his voice.
“lando… i don’t think that’s a good idea.” you finally give up the ghost, looking him right in the eyes.
“why not?”
“you know why.”
he breathes your name, takes a step closer to you as you take a step back.
“no, i really don’t. why have you been so distant? i know what you saw in abu dhabi was weird but-“
“do you know why it was weird, lando? do you know how that made me feel?”
“no, because you haven’t said anything. tonight was the first night in months that you’ve seemed okay and now you’re being off again.”
“imagine finally thinking that the guy you’re in love with finally feels the same, only to walk in on him fucking some random person.” you bellow, tears slipping over your waterline. you breathe heavily, the admission taking tons off of your shoulders.
“what?” he gasps, jaw going slack.
“forget it.” you mumble, backing away towards the door. you can’t believe the relief you feel, exhausted from the pretending. you can’t even bring yourself to care about the repercussions.
“no, i- what the fuck did you just say?” lando’s eyebrows are drawn together tight, confused.
“you heard me.” your words are hushed, shy, laced with a tremble that makes his chest ache.
“i didn’t know.” is all he can say, staring at you with a desperation that makes you want to stay. you know better.
“it doesn’t matter now. you said yourself, you wanna be happy with her. so do it, go be happy with her.” you tell him, your lack of malice astounding.
“why can’t you fight for us?” he whispers, finally dares to go there.
“i did. abu dhabi. that was me fighting for you.” you scoff at his audacity. “why can’t you fight for us?”
“i didn’t know.” he repeats, voice going up an octave with annoyance. “imagine watching the girl you’ve been in love with for years go on dates, listen to her talk about the guys she’s seeing.” he hits back.
“maybe we’ve both made mistakes, lando, but i tried to put myself out there and got hurt. why would i do that to myself again?” you retort, crossing your arms over your chest protectively. your heart pounds in your chest, flustered at his admission, as much as you try and hide it from him. it hits different to hear him say it to your face; it didn’t cut as deep when you’d heard it lingering outside max’s kitchen.
“if i thought for a second that you felt how i felt - how i still feel - none of this would have happened, abu dhabi, casey, none of it.”
“but now you’re with her and, great, that’s fine, i’m just not sure how to be your friend right now.”
“no, no, we’re not throwing that away. even if we can’t be together,” you both visibly deflate at the word. “i know it’s so fucking selfish but i can’t lose you like that too.”
“give me a reason, lando. because right now? you’ve already lost me.”
when you get into the uber, you’re sobbing, and you’re sure the poor man that had the misfortune of picking you up understands when he turns the radio up - taylor swift is playing - and smiles at you sadly.
-
he’s spinning aimlessly in his gaming chair when max finds him.
“what the actual fuck is wrong with you?” is all max has to say, looming in the doorway to lando’s office.
“what happened to a simple ‘hello’?” lando grumbles.
“you’ll get a simple hello when you stop being a dick.” max replies, matter of fact.
lando laughs bitterly in response.
“just tell me one thing. one thing that makes no fucking sense to me. why are you still with casey?”
“i don’t know if i ever really was.” lando observes, eyes vacant and tired. “she was a distraction and i’m an asshole.”
“well, at least you know.” max mutters under his breath. lando can’t even muster a glare his best friends way.
“i ended it about an hour ago.” lando starts. “she told me that she was gonna go public, call me a cheater, say that i used her as a pawn. don’t even get me started on what she was gonna say about…” lando trails off, can’t even say your name. he feels like he doesn’t deserve to.
“fuck.” max sighs, finally walking into the room. he takes a seat on the small sofa. “what are you gonna do?”
“spoke to my team. they’ll deal with her. told me that they all deserve a pay rise and i don’t disagree.”
“and what about…” max echos his friend, trailing off. he leans forward with anticipation.
“i don’t know, man. i love her but i know i don’t deserve her, not after all this. she deserves to be happy and all i seem to do is make her miserable.”
“mate, she wasn’t miserable because you were just friends. she was miserable because you were ignoring her, choosing randoms over her. you know that, right?” max says, finally something resembling gentle in his tone.
“if i couldn’t even be a good friend, how the fuck am i gonna be a good boyfriend?”
“figure it out, you knob. all this feeling sorry for yourself isn’t working out. be honest with her for once, tell her how you feel. it’s not rocket science, lando. she loves you more than you deserve, so pull yourself together and fucking show her that she is everything to you.”
-
the next week is spent working far too hard and sleeping far too little.
you don’t hear from him, and he doesn’t hear from you, but it’s how it should be. if there’s no distance, you’d have a whole set of problems on your hands, forced on you by a can of worms that needed to stay sealed. it’s better this way, you relentlessly tell yourself.
max and p bring you dinner the night things change.
“you sure i can’t convince you to come work at quadrant?” max prods, taking in the ridiculous amount of papers and spreadsheets that have taken over your living room. “wouldn’t be as intense as this.”
“for so many reasons: no.” you shoot him a look, one that says leave it alone. he nods, gets the hint, and drops onto the scrap of sofa that isn’t covered in paperwork.
“you’ve been sleeping though, yes?” pietra asks, eyebrows raised with concern. she knows how you get.
you hum in acknowledgment, avoiding eye contact as you plate the food they’ve brought. p sighs.
“have you spoken to him?” max finally asks, and you know it’s taken everything in him to not ask, in the short five minutes he’s been in your flat.
“max!” pietra hisses, and he raises his hands in surrender.
“c’mon, you knew i’d have to ask, especially considering he’s been a little bitch all week.” max defends.
“i haven’t. told him i needed space.” you shrug.
“how’s that working out for you?” max gestures to the mess that engulfs the room, swallows it whole. again, you shrug.
“fine.” you stress, digging in to the chinese food. max scoffs and you snort with a mouthful of noodles when pietra glares at him.
“well, he’s miserable, and you’re behaving like someone who’s gonna end up on a true crime documentary, so sue me for asking.” he scolds sarcastically.
“okay, you want the tea?” you roll your eyes. “he told me they hadn’t had sex. i gave him advice - against the better judgment of literally anyone ever, by the way - tried to leave and he fucking ambushed me. wanted to have dinner with me, as if he hasn’t been pushing me away for months, and then had the fucking audacity, max, to ask me why i won’t fight for us, for him - oh! and he still has a girlfriend! so, you know what, you got me, i’m not doing so great but,” you choke out a laugh, opening the box of prawn toast. “too fucking bad.”
“i promise you, this will pass and casey will be gone and then-“
“and then me and lando can go back to pretending and avoiding and hurting each other. can’t wait.”
max shakes his head in defeat, knows he has to let lando fix this himself. he has no chance of winning this one with you.
“eat your noodles.” is all he has left. pietra disappears into your kitchen, and returns with a bottle of wine.
you eat together, put on netflix, slumped into the sofa as you try and relax. you’re halfway through your first drink when your phone buzzes. assuming it’s your overbearing boss, who apparently doesn’t sleep either, you pick it up and quickly wish you hadn’t.
lando: can you come over
like now
if you can
please. please please please please
we broke up.
“holy shit.”
you sit up suddenly, scan the room for your bag and a jacket. you don’t care that you’re in old sweats, you just feel the need to move, to get to him before common sense kicks in.
“you good?” max asks.
“uh, i need to go, like right now. stay and finish the wine if you want, but i just need to go to-“
“lando?” max and p ask simultaneously, and you burn with embarrassment.
“i can’t even try and lie to you right now. is this pathetic?” you question.
“no! go!” max shouts, exasperated, standing to usher you out of your own apartment.
-
twenty minutes later, you knock on his door.
when it opens, he’s disheveled in a way that makes you hug him immediately, his touch disturbingly foreign, and you feel him sink into your hold. he pulls you inside, kicks the door shut, and doesn’t let you go.
“sofa?” you murmur into his hoodie. you feel him nod, and you part, pad towards the lounge as you shrug off your jacket.
“hi.” he says tiredly, as soon as you’re both sat.
“hey.” you coo back. your eyebrows are drawn together as you take him in, concern woven through your features. “sorry about casey.” lando scoffs.
“don’t be, don’t even know what i was thinking.”
“well, neither do i,” you retort. “but i’m still sorry. did it happen just before you texted?” you ask.
“no, a week ago.”
“a week ago?” you gasp. “but that would mean…”
“yeah. right after you left here. asked her to come over and ended it. she told me she was gonna go to the media with a whole load of shit, so i’ve been sorting things out.”
“i’m so sorry.” you whisper.
lando laughs.
“you’re sorry? god, you’re way too fucking good for me.” he scoffs, bitter with self deprecation. “i can’t believe you even came, to be honest.”
“course i came. i might be angry at you, but you- you wanted me to, so…”
“i don’t even know where to start. i’m just so sorry about the last few months. i thought i was losing you and it drove me insane, but i should have never, ever taken my shit out on you.”
“what do you mean? losing me?”
“the dates, the guys. god, it was awful of me but it killed me.”
“that was only because i didn’t think i had a chance.”
“well, if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t think i had a chance either.” he laughs. “so what you said about abu dhabi… was that why you came? to tell me?”
“yeah, kinda. after some… encouragement from a mutual friend, i was gonna tell you that i wanted us to be more.”
lando shifts closer, your thighs pressing together. you can feel his body heat, so warm and inviting, drawing you closer.
“more.” lando repeats, tasting it on his tongue, the weight of everything he’s ever wanted since he was sixteen and fell in love for the first time.
“yeah, and then it seemed like you didn’t want that.”
“you must know by now that i also want more.” he murmurs, fingertips brushing your forearm. you keen into the barely there touch that traces over your skin.
“i’d say that’s been implied, yeah.” you joke, searching his eyes. they’re hooded, swirling with an intensity that you never thought you’d experience with another person. “um, i heard you and max. the night of pietra’s birthday.” you admit.
“fuck,” he sighs, shoulders sagging. “i’m so sorry, i swear, i never meant to put you through any of this. ‘m so, so sorry.”
“i know you are.” you whisper, loaded with a sincerity that only you could give him. “but you can never, ever treat me like this lando. i mean it.”
“i need you to know that i never meant to hurt you.” he swallows down a lump in his throat, voice wobbling just enough for you to notice.
“i do, lando.” you grab his hand, squeeze it tight.
“what do you want from me now? anything you want, i promise - i’m yours.”
“i want us to try, to see where this goes. i think we owe it to ourselves to see.”
“i never thought i’d ever get a chance with you.” lando laughs softly, the hand on your arm travelling to ghost over your cheek.
“why?”
“because i don’t think there’s anyone on this planet that’s good enough for you.” he confesses, leaning in until your foreheads touch.
“i don’t think that’s true, at least not where you’re concerned.” you breathe.
“how are you real?” it’s barely a whisper, barely audible, but it hits your ears like an alarm.
“don’t go all existential on me now.”
“then what should i do?”
“kiss me.”
“doesn’t that go against your whole ‘catch me off guard’ philosophy?” he murmurs, one hand reaching up to cup your jaw. your foreheads are still pressed together, eyes roaming each others.
“you’ll have plenty of time to surprise me.” you whisper.
you take a second to admire one another, the proximity mingling your warm breaths. when your lips finally brush, it’s slow, tentative, silent exploration. he tilts your head so that he can kiss you deeper, fingers sliding from your cheek into your hair. you emit a quiet moan, open up for him so he can taste you, and the feeling of him licking into your mouth sends your mind utterly blank.
he’s all consuming, totally intoxicating, a fresh blend of mint and something so blatantly lando that you feel like you’re floating. you find his neck, threading your fingers through the short strands at the nape of his neck. you hear something from deep in his chest, feel the vibrations of the low rumble as he presses you even closer to him.
when you inevitably break apart for air, he looks dazed, grinning like a fool as he smoothes his hand through the loose strands of your hair that fall around your face.
“i’m sorry that took so long.” lando hums, leaning in to peck your lips again. you can’t help but smile into it, in a daze of your own.
“me too.” you manage between smiling dopily up at him.
“you’re so beautiful.” he coos, still entranced. “you wanna stay here tonight?”
you hesitate for a second. he notices, interlacing your fingers with his.
“for the record, um, she never did. i couldn’t have her that close.” he mumbles, looking down at your hands guiltily.
“why?”
“didn’t feel right. she wasn’t,” he inhales shakily and meets your gaze again, piercing you with hazy blue hues. “she wasn’t you. i think that’s the real reason that i couldn’t… you know, with her.”
“i’ll stay.” you whisper, nodding softly. it’s all you can formulate as a response.
“i can make up the guest room.” he says wearily, posing it as more of a question than a statement, putting out the feelers. you scowl, eyes sparkling with a mischievous danger that leaves lando’s mouth bone dry.
“don’t bother.”
-
the grey linen of his bed sheets are soft against your skin as you sink into his mattress, watching intently as he pads around his room. you can smell him everywhere, a tangy, fresh musk that you want to bottle up and keep forever. lando glows in the dim, warm light of his bedroom and you feel a pang of regret that it’s taken this long to get here, muddled with a sense of relief that finally, you’ve made it.
“‘m gonna take a quick shower, okay? make yourself comfortable.” lando says, pauses for a second to take in the sight of you in his bed.
“okay.” you smile softly, eyes heavy with sleep as you relax further into the cushions. you hear the water running, white noise that allows your thoughts to run wild. the slide of the shower door grabs your attention and you think of him under the spray of water, bronze skin damp, hair slicked back.
when will it be your turn to see him like that, you wonder, musings of him pressed against you, bare and firm, flitting through your wandering mind. you realise, then, that you have him; he’s yours. why delay the inevitable?
slowly, you rise from the mattress, breathing shakily as your shirt comes off. your sweats follow, a trail of your clothes leading to the en-suite door. you can hear him humming to himself, the echo barrelling through your shaking body. you’re frantic with tension, a tinge of embarrassment, but then you consider his beautiful words, his confessions of love, and banish the feeling of shame that threatens to ruin you before you’ve even started. you unhook your bra, shimmy out of your panties, and grip the door handle. it turns slowly, steam spilling out of the room immediately, yet you shiver with anticipation.
“room for one more?” you call, and he jumps, turning suddenly.
you can’t make him out clearly, the fog painted across the shower door concealing his lean frame, and it draws you in closer, anticipation swirling in your belly.
he responds by sliding the door open, and you join him under the hot water. his eyes stay firmly on yours, body opening up to invite you in, hold you close as the spray hits you. the heat loosens your muscles, and you sink into him.
“fuck.” you hear him whisper, more to himself than to you.
“hi.” you breathe.
“am i dreaming?” lando blinks, a slow smile spreading across his face as he not so subtlety rakes his eyes over your frame.
“no,” you purr. “i’m real. this is real.”
his hands find your waist and you loop your arms around his neck, the kiss he pulls you into heated with a slow burning passion that makes you ache.
“you’re so pretty.” he pants into your mouth, firm and desperate - so sincere that it shakes you to your core.
“you’re perfect.” you choke out, mesmerised, alight in his thick hands.
“let me show you,” he starts, pauses briefly to kiss you. “wanna worship you.”
his words make you chase him for a kiss that doesn’t come. instead, he turns you to face away from him, your back to his front. you feel the cool spread of shower gel against your back, calloused hands working it into your skin gently. your hair, heavy with water, is pushed over your shoulder and you turn your head just enough to find his lips. your mouths move with intent as he works the soap down your back and over your waist. it tickles and you keen into him, enough that he holds you tighter, angles your hips away from his.
“careful, baby.” he warns lowly, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear.
“don’t wanna be careful.” you half moan, but he grips your hips even harder.
“not tonight, yeah? let me look after you. need you to know that i’m serious about this.” lando pants, his self restraint thin as it hits your ears. you smirk.
“you back on your ‘good guy’ bullshit?” you tease, throwing him a look over your shoulder. you catch sight of his lip caught between his teeth, wet curls matted against his forehead, and a wave of pure need washes over your body.
“for you? fuck yeah.” he manages, crouches down to lather soap down your legs. his hands roam your inner thighs, dangerously, painfully close to where you really need him to touch you, and you groan defeatedly.
“you’re horrible.” you sigh when he’s back to his full height, facing you once more. he flashes you a cheeky smile, fingertips smoothing over your arms.
“wanna get this right.” he shrugs.
“we could get it right - right here, right now.” you pout.
“patience.” lando cautions, rubbing over your sternum. he grazes over the underside of your breasts, daring to go even higher. you let out a broken sigh, shuddering at his incessant attention.
“asshole.”
“we already knew that about me, baby.” he winks. he maintains eye contact as he cups your breasts, massages them just enough to leave you wanting. his touch vanishes, then, and the elastic band of tension seems to snap. “rinse off, i’ll leave a towel for you.”
just like that, he’s gone.
-
you stretch like a cat across the mattress, the low sun sending the early light streaming through a devastating crack in the curtains. it leaves you disoriented - the sun never hits your own bedroom like that.
quickly, you remember you’re not in your own bed, partly because of the heavy arm that sprawls over your tired body, pinning you to the mattress. his breath hits your bare shoulder in heavy puffs that warm your skin, leaving your tingling as your curl further into the curve of his body. your movements nudge his head into the crook of your neck, his nose bumping the sensitive skin there and he stirs slightly, puckers his lips into a gentle kiss at the base of your throat.
you roll over, his arm weighing heavy against the curve of your waist the whole time. when you’re face to face, his eyes are still closed, unfairly long eyelashes dusting his cheekbones, but a smile is painted languidly across his lips. he looks so soft, boyish, perfectly unreal that you snuggle closer to him.
“go back to sleep.” he groans, hardly opening his mouth as if it’s too much work in his cosy state.
“not tired anymore.” you whisper into the slight space still left between you. your lips find his jaw, trailing across it until you find a sensitive spot just below his ear. he shivers, but he still doesn’t open his eyes. you smirk, tracing your tongue carefully over the definition of his jawline. you suck, bite down gently.
“really?” he murmurs, still smiling like a fool, only intensified by your movements. you hum in response.
“go back to sleep, baby.” you coo, sealing the hickey you’ve left with a delicate kiss, one that contradicts the harsh mark you’ve left.
“drives me insane hearing you call me that.” he sighs, almost pained. the newfound friction against your thigh explains why.
“does it, baby?” you murmur, right in his ear.
“roll over, honey. get comfortable for me.” is all he says in return. electricity shoots down your spine as you oblige, resuming your previous position.
“that’s it, c’mere.” lando rasps, sliding impossibly closer. you can feel the full length of his body pressed against yours, heat seeping from his bronze skin onto yours. your eyes flutter shut, a delicious buzz coursing through you as the anticipation grows.
you can feel where he’s hard, solid against the curve of your ass and you keen into him, arched into his front as much as you possibly can be. your thighs clench together, liquid heat pooling between them. your mouth hangs open as his hand grazes the outside of your thigh, smoothing over the thickness of them before he pulls them apart. his hand slots between them - a perfect fit - and he wastes no time grazing his knuckles over the damp cloth of your panties.
“lando.” you sigh, utterly content. it’s been a long time coming, but it already seems like it was worth the wait.
“you’re so wet for me already. you want me?” lando growls against the shell shell of your ear.
“touch me, baby.” you plead, pressing your ass harder against him. he hisses, thumbs hard at your clit in response.
you mewl, squeezing your thighs around his hand but he forces them apart, his arm tensing as he does. you grip it hard, nails digging into his forearm but he doesn’t relent. he rubs firm circles into the bundle of nerves over your panties, fingers dipping down to press into the wet patch quickly pooling in the lace.
“take them off.” you urge.
he quickly complies, fingertips grazing your hips as he slides the material off of your frame. as one hand settles back between your thighs, two deft fingers pinching your clit, his other snakes under the old mclaren t-shirt he’d leant you. he traces the pudges of your belly, scaling up, up, up, tickling across your ribs until he caresses the curve of your breast, his whole hand engulfing it. he plucks a nipple between his fingers at the same time he slides a digit between your folds, spreading your wetness around.
“feeling good for me, honey? do you know how sexy you are for me, making a mess, wearing my shirt?” lando muses, dangerously low. his voice is strained, a side affect of the hold your have on him, of how entranced he is by the way you writhe against him.
“so good.” you choke, rolling your hips to meet his hand. “need more.”
“more? is my girl greedy?” he taunts, circling your entrance with the tip of his finger.
“please?” you’re not above begging him. it does the trick.
you both moan at the way he stretches you around one finger, the single digit sliding deep. he grinds it into you, palm nudging against your clit with every move he makes. one finger becomes two and you gasp out his name, your hand finding his under the shirt, holding it to your chest. he squeezes your flesh, tweaking at your nipple until it’s hard between his fingers and your ass is grinding faster into his crotch. when he moves on to your other breast, you choke out a moan that tears through the both of you, the tension so thick in the room that it’s stifling.
“c’mon baby, i need you inside of me.” you beg, your voice a pathetic garbled whine, one that makes him falter and suck in a harsh breath.
“not sure you can take it, pretty girl. so tight just around my fingers.” lando challenges, slowing his fingers so that you can hear exactly what he’s doing to you. he curls them with every thrust, reaching a spot that temporarily leaves you blinded in the throes of his searing touch. “you’re gonna cum for me like this first, yeah? and then we’ll see if you can take me.”
“can’t- lando please just-“
he shushes you.
“you’re gonna let me give it to you, honey. you’re gonna take it all, because you’re a good girl, right?” his voice is so condescending, so commanding that it makes you throb around him, his fingers flexing harder and faster as he senses your lurking orgasm. “that’s it, honey, i can feel you. come on.” he urges.
your body spasms hard against his as it hits, any semblance of sleep shaken out of you as you fall apart. he holds you close, rides you through it - palm flat on your overstimulated clit while his fingers gently coax you over the edge. he’s hitting every spot, toying with every piece of you he can get his hands on. the hand alternating between your tits roams up to your neck squeezing briefly, just to tease, before he cups your jaw, turning your head enough so he can capture your lips in a feral kiss. it’s needy, full of greed as he swallows your cries of pleasure, keeps them all for himself.
when you go limp against him, the coils of tension finally loosening, he slips his fingers out slowly. you’re panting against his chest, descending back to reality, when you hear the telltale hum, a soft pop - he’s sucking his fingers clean.
“taste so fucking good.” he finally speaks, slick fingers pushing your shirt up your body and you manoeuvre it over your head. it’s tossed away, lost to the shadowy room.
“lando,” you hum. “i’m ready.”
it’s a plea that he can’t ignore, the duvet rustling around you. you feel him kick off his boxers and then he’s pressing his cock against the curve of your ass once more. its big, leaking already, and your mind goes completely and utterly blank.
“you feel so good against me.” he notes, dazed at the sensation of your bare flesh warm against his. “you sure?” he mumbles, pressing a firm kiss against the base of your neck, his hands working to reposition your legs so that he can slip into you.
“never been more sure in my life.” you promise, tingling with the anticipation.
he’s so close that you can feel the pulsing heat of him between your parted thighs. the head of him nudges over your clit and he drags himself up and down, coating his cock with your wetness. you’re frustrated - ready to flip the two of you over, fuck yourself full, but he beats you to it. the stretch of him makes you gasp, knuckles white as you grip the soft bedding. when his hips meet yours, he pauses, teeth sinking into your shoulder, utterly overwhelmed. you’re not doing much better, one hand snaking up behind you to find his curls, tugging softly on the messy strands. he likes it, groaning into the marks he’s leaving on your shoulder, lips trailing messily up your neck.
the sunlight streams harshly through the crack in the curtain, momentarily blinding you. it leaves you with only the feeling of him, a golden haze invading your other senses. he’s gripping your hip so hard that you’re certain that you’ll be able to map out each of his fingerprints after.
“can i move?” he rasps, punctuating his request with a delicate kiss just below your ear. you shiver, clenching around him tight, and he bucks into you inadvertently. it sends sparks shooting up and down your spine, an electric wave of pleasure that has your eyes fluttering shut.
“you better.” you implore.
“you’re fucking perfect around me.” he grunts, beginning to build a rhythm. it’s one that leaves you both breathless, brainless, unable to utter anything besides the relentless chants of each-others names, the needy wanton moans that neither of you can hide.
lando’s hands are everywhere, your hips, your ass, wrapped around your sternum to pull you back into him, plunging himself even deeper into you. you claw blindly at any part of him you can reach, braindead from the way he’s fucking you. you and him are like a tidal wave, surging closer and closer to shore after years of dormancy, of an aching, crushing build up. now, as it peaks, it could destroy you, wash you away and leaves you nothing. you know he won’t. you know by the way he’s holding you, by the soft whimpers he lets you hear, by the way he makes you feel more alive than you have in months.
“i’m so close.” your voice quivers, pleasure bleeding into the edges of your words.
“i’m gonna get you there, pretty girl. you’re so good for me.” he promises, one hand slipping between your thighs. he finds your clit, plays with it between his fingers. messy swirls combined with precise flicks make you shake “i can feel you, honey. can feel you holding back. let it all out for me.”
he sounds wrecked, like he’ll die if he can’t feel you let go around him. you feel the start of your orgasm crawling from the tips of your toes, up your legs, and into the fire pit of your belly.
“that’s it, give it to me.” lando whispers, his voice so far away, even though he’s right there, talking you through it with his lips pressing the shell of your ear.
“i love you, lando.”
with that, you shatter into a million pieces, convulsing around him, against him, trying to get impossibly closer to him as you simultaneously try and squirm away. he holds you close, barrelling into you with fast, deep rolls of his hips. each thrust taps into your special spot, stars clouding your vision, his name the only word on your lips, the only word that has ever existed.
“where do you want it?” he asks quickly, urgently anticipating his own end.
“inside of me.” you pant, delirious, but he’s not in the space to do any critical thinking - you love him! - so he takes your words at face value.
a guttural groan hits your ears like a sonic boom, his body tight and firm against your sweat slick back. he squeezes you tight as he fills you up, submitting totally to the heat of your core, to the intoxicating way you draw him in.
“i love you, too.” he mumbles into your shoulder, kisses the words into your flushed skin. “i always have.”
he flops onto his back, slipping out of you carefully first, a lazy smile on his face. his eyes are shut, angelic once more as if he hadn’t been whispering filth into your ear just a minute prior.
“we gotta do more of that.” lando laughs, blindly reaching out for you. you slip into his welcoming arms, draping yourself over his body.
“think i need a shower. maybe you can make up for leaving me in there last night.” you giggle, agreeing that, yes, you absolutely need to do more of that.
he hugs you closer, a kiss placed atop your forehead.
“you can have anything you want, honey.”
-
phew.
-
taglist.
@mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @formulaal @carlandoxlestappen @cmleitora @pianor481 @costkappen
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joelsgoldrush · 8 months ago
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“give me all of that ultraviolence” | 2k
logan howlett x f!reader
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SUMMARY: You give Logan head for the first time.
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni - smut 18+ implied age gap. dirty talk. kind of inexperienced reader. oral sex (m receiving). face fucking. dom!logan. a tiny bit of degradation. he guides you through the whole experience (shocking!!! i know)
AUTHOR’S NOTE: HI PALS!!! yes i'm alive and kicking. yes university is killing me. so recently i’ve been OBSESSED with this man and i needed to write something for him. english is not my first language and i may have made some mistakes (if you encounter any you can tell me, i won't mind it). comments/likes/reblogs would be highly appreciated. i've got sooooo many ideas to write and i'm finally getting my hands on them. i missed you all so fucking much. hope you enjoy this!!!
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It’s common knowledge that all humans have needs. Try as you may, there’s a primitive side that you can’t spare yourself from. You, as everybody else, have urges.
“Logan,” you basically mewl his name, five letters that roll off your tongue with little effort. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge you, his kisses growing harsher on the delicate skin of your neck. Threading your fingers through his hair, you decide to try again, speaking a bit louder this time. “Logan, please.”
“What is it, honey?” he says, bitten lips still pressed to your pulse point. As you remain silent, he looks up at you, those big, brown eyes that you love so dearly almost completely dark now. “Do you want to call it a day?”
His question catches you off-guard. You cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheekbones, suddenly afraid that he might pull away from you. “No! Not at all. That’s- that’s not what I want at all, actually.”
“What do you want, then? You can tell me,” he kisses you on the lips, softly at first. What starts as nothing more than a sweet kiss turns into a needier one, his hard on poking you through your shorts. “Come on. Tell me, baby. What does my sweet girl want?”
“I want to suck you off, Logan,” you whisper as you latch your mouth onto his, and you can feel how he visibly tenses beneath you. His breath hitches in his throat when you grind your hips. “I really need it.”
From the very beginning of your relationship, you had made things crystal clear: you didn’t have much experience on this territory. For a man his age, he was totally understanding. He knew you had your own times, that for him to take you to bed would take longer. Truth be told, Logan was willing to go to the ends of the world for you. There was no use in forcing anything.
At present, the bulge amid his legs becomes even more noticeable as you get off his lap, playing with his belt. “Can I?” you ask him, amazed at how straightforward you’re being.
Logan stares at you, so far panting, lust glowing in his eyes. “Shit, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he mutters as he helps you undress him. His worn out jeans end up pooling around his ankles, and you locate yourself in between his legs. 
You’re on your knees, hands folded in front of you. Suddenly, it hits you, the shame of it all. How badly you want him, how desperate you are to feel the weight of his cock on your tongue. How many nights you’ve dreamt of this moment, unable to stop that unbearable need of touching yourself every time you thought about pleasuring him.
That’s what you truly want. For him to use you.
“What’s wrong, princess? We’ve talked about this a lot of times. You know what to do,” you can’t help but stare at his crotch as you listen to him, and then he raises your chin with his finger, your lips parting unconsciously. You blink slowly at him, eyelashes fluttering together. At last, he seems to understand what you’re trying to tell him, and he raises his eyebrows, that cocky grin of his taking place where it belongs. “You want me to guide you, don’t you? Want me to tell you what to do? Know you like it when I go a bit off the rails.”
You moan at his words, squeezing your eyes shut and nuzzling your cheek up against his palm. Slick gathers in your panties as you push your thighs together. “Please. Tell me what to do.”
“Take it out,” he instructs you, and you do as you’re told. Grabbing him by the base, you pull his cock out of his briefs. He twitches in your hand, and he’s so, so incredibly big. 
You stroke him once, testing the feeling. This you know how to do. You’ve given him hand jobs millions of times, although this one feels particularly different from the others.
He takes hold of your fist, applying a bit of pressure. “I’m sorry, baby. I think you got it all wrong. I’m the one who makes the calls here, okay?” he grunts, his brows knitted, and you only nod, salivating at the sight of his cock already leaking precum at the tip. Logan licks his lips, curling his hand around yours. “You do as I say. Now, stroke me. Nice. And. Slow,” he punctuates each of his words by moving both your hand and his in unison around his length. “That’s it, darling. You just need someone to boss you around from time to time, ain’t I right?”
One thing to know about Logan: he’s so full of himself on a daily basis, but he just gets worse in bed.
“My mouth,” you hover your lips over the head of his cock, all shiny and soft. He has let you go, both of his arms now flexed behind his head, as if he were appreciating how pathetic you must look on your knees, begging for him to allow you to taste him. “Let me.”
“Not yet,” his hips follow your tormenting pace, seeking the warmth that your skin radiates. He grits his teeth, biting his lower lip. You’ve no idea how a man so strong can become putty in your hands like this. “Greedy girl. I’m beginning to think you’ve set me up. Only a slut would get so worked up about having a cock in her mouth. What happened to my innocent girl? Gone with the wind, huh?”
“Please, Lo. I need it so bad,” you are whining, peppering his thighs with kisses. You inhale his musky scent, getting dizzy. “Give it to me. I’ll be good.”
Out of nowhere, Logan grabs a handful of your hair, forcing you to arch your back. He scrutinizes your face, studying your blissed out demeanor. “I don’t doubt that. I’m sure you’ll be good. Otherwise, we’ll keep on trying. We have all night, and you have a good memory, just need to put it to use,” as he taps your lower lip with his tip, you catch him smirking. He repeats that same motion until he has you shivering from the excitement of being stuffed. ”Show me how much you need it. Go easy on it at first, okay? Don’t want you choking beforehand.”
You’re more than happy to comply.
Your tongue darts out to lick at his head, enveloping it between your lips. The salty taste of his precum invades your tastebuds, and you moan as you trace the veins of his cock with the pad of your thumb. “Tastes so good, Lo,” your voice sounds distant, almost unrecognizable to your own ears.
“I know, bub. Such a nice fucking mouth, can’t believe you’ve never done this before. I guess you’re a natural,” shaky fingers place a strand of hair behind your ears, patting your head as if you were a dog in heat. “Do you feel like bobbing your head a little?” he asks you, and you prepare yourself, attaching your mouth to his head once again. “Good. That’s good.”
With that being said, Logan fists your hair once again and shoves your face down, his hard cock tickling your throat. Your whines and his rapid breaths are the only sounds to be heard in your bedroom. He grins as he takes in the sight of you. “Oh, sweetheart. You look so beautiful with your mouth stretched around me,” his index finger taps your cheek and he feels the outline of his own cock. “You know I can smell you, right? You’re fucking soaked, baby. Think you’ll leave a stain on the carpet? You’d clean it off with your tongue, wouldn’t you?”
You have no idea how he’s coming up with these things, but you’re far from annoyed. In fact, you’ve never been this wet. Your underwear must be ruined at this point, and you wish Logan would tell you to touch yourself.
After some minutes of bobbing your head up and down, he pulls you off his cock and you breathe through your mouth for the first time in a while. As you gasp for air, Logan kisses you, tasting himself. He massages the back of your neck, his cock throbbing between the two of you. “You tired?”
Your glossy eyes widen. Shaking your head, you go for his balls this time, sucking one of them while toying with the other. Logan buries his hands in your hair for what must be the hundredth time in the night, unable to stop himself. “F-fuck, that’s it. A pretty girl like you just gets what she needs,” he praises you, and you return to his length, taking as many inches as you can without hurting yourself. Tears shimmer in your eyes, yet you can’t bring yourself to care about that detail. You’re far too focused on Logan’s grunts and growls. “Keep that up and I’ll come. You heard me? You’re gonna make me fucking come, bub.”
His words ignite a fire inside you. You use your hands, your mouth, everything that you have to pleasure him. He’s getting closer and closer, thighs shaking when you pay special attention to his tip. Logan responds to each of your movements, and as you feel every coherent thought fly out the window, you try to take him all the way down your throat, breathing through your nose and swallowing around him. He cants his hips up, brutally fucking your mouth. Like a dog without a leash, Logan seems to get lost in the warmth that envelopes his cock, chasing his own release. “You’re such a good girl. My good girl. Nobody will fuck this mouth ever again. I’ll ruin you for any pathetic guy that tries to get in your pants. You’re fucking mine, darling. Oh, f-fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck-”
You’re met with his happy trail once he spills his hot load inside your mouth. He keeps you trapped there, his cock twitching and spamming through the aftershocks of his orgasm. You don’t think twice and swallow what he’s giving you. Some of his cum slips from your lips, falling directly onto the carpet. Even Logan seems surprised when he doesn’t stop coming.
He helps you stand up after a moment, kissing you as soon as he gets the chance. He licks into your mouth, squeezing the flesh of your hips. Logan lifts his eyebrows, relishing how cock-drunk you must look. “I think you nearly killed me. And that’s a lot to say coming from someone who cannot fucking die.”
You plaster a smile on your face, hugging his wide frame. “So, was I okay?”
His jaw goes slack, and he lowers his head to capture your lips in another kiss. “You were fantastic. I could easily get hard again just from thinking about it,” his fingers trace the buttons of your shirt, tugging at the fabric of it. “What if you let me focus on yourself for a while? You’ve already done enough, baby. Let me take care of you,” he rubs his hands on your thighs, reaching for your drenched panties. “Perhaps we could try something else today. That pussy’s begging to be fucked.” 
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dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! :)
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mangostarjam · 3 months ago
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you've been touching him a lot since he got back.
itoshi sae doesn't do anything about it — doesn't dissuade you from tugging at his sleeve or sliding his jacket zipper back and forth while you talk. doesn't comment or bring your attention to it.
but he watches.
you've been around him a lot since his plane landed, making up for all the time he's spent abroad, as if your daily chat threads haven't been enough. most of the time it's just the two of you, the way it used to be. sometimes his brother is around, though thankfully it doesn't seem like you've gotten any closer to rin since sae left.
other times there's a group, mostly your friends, a mix of guys and girls who don't seem to know what to do with themselves around him. sae is used to this — fame brings strange things to light — but you treat him as you always have, except for the touching.
you don't touch anyone else.
it makes him think.
sae has his reasons. he's never let your relationship get past that line, drawn in the sand. he's a professional football player on the other side of the world, and you have a life here. you have friends (even though you still call him your best friend), you have a job (that you complain about all the time), you have family (that can't be bothered to ever congratulate you on anything).
it wouldn't be right — to make you leave. to take you away. not when he needs to focus on being the best in the world.
(he is the best in the world. all those years ago he showed the U-20 team in japan the difference between them, the way the most they could hope for was dating a gravure model. sae never cared about that aspect. he already had you.)
he lets you touch him, but he doesn't touch you back. he keeps you at arm's length — where you're safe.
and then you ask him to be your wingman.
someone else — touching you? kissing you? having you? unthinkable. sae steps out of the shower and barely dries off before pulling on his briefs and pants. steps into his room and there you are, sitting on his bed, looking good, if a little sad.
he considers telling you to get your passport updated and catches the way your eyes trail down his form. maybe this conversation would be easier if he's wearing a shirt — your gaze is too heated, too distracting. you probably think you're being sneaky, hiding your feelings as best as you can, but sae knows you.
and your casual touches are ocean waves washing that line in the sand away.
sae walks towards his closet when it happens again. your finger in his belt loop, stopping him in his tracks. "what?"
"you were ignoring me," you say. "i asked if my outfit is okay."
your outfit is more than okay. "i would have told you to change if it wasn't."
"if you're going to be my wingman, shouldn't you hype me up?" you huff.
sae feels his jaw clench at the reminder. "no," he says, and his tone comes out cold. you don't seem to notice, falling back on his bed and testing every bit of self control in his grasp. "this is a waste of time."
he goes to pull on a shirt before he does something drastic. you're saying something, but it hardly matters when his flight leaves if you'll be on the plane with him. you've covered your eyes with your forearm, so you miss the way he pauses at the foot of the bed, teal eyes drinking in your form splayed out so defenselessly.
sae climbs over you silently, knees nudging yours apart, hands planted on either side of your body. "this is a waste of time," he repeats, watching with amusement as you take in his position. a blush sweeps across your face, but you don't push him off. that's a good sign, at least.
"what, you think i'm not worth being a wingman for?" you ask. silly. you have no idea.
and then you reach for his belt loops again, as if that's a totally normal thing to do and not something that drives him a little nuts every time. sae prides himself on his control, though, so he doesn't lean down to kiss you just yet.
"tell me," sae says, "have you become this touchy with all your friends since i've been gone?"
"n-no?"
it's cute, how wide your eyes get. sae leans down a little closer. feels your breaths on his lips. still doesn't kiss you — yet. "then i won't be your wingman. you don't need one."
"why not?"
do you know how breathless you sound? sae considers his apartment in spain, how he'll need to make sure the bedroom doesn't share any walls with the neighbors. the way you sound is all for him and him alone.
"because you have a boyfriend, now."
(companion piece to this)
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mcflymemes · 4 months ago
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PROMPTS FOR PRE ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS AND CREATING HISTORY BETWEEN CHARACTERS *  assorted dialogue for giving your characters a history and giving them past things or events to talk about, adjust as necessary
do you remember what i told you last time?
have you been doing well since i saw you?
that's not what you told me back then.
when was the last time i saw you?
you were shorter then.
i'm picking the restaurant this time.
we've known each other since we were children.
always knew i could count on you.
that time was different. this is worse.
you're not going to let me live that down, are you?
i seem to remember a conversation we had back then.
so you changed your mind about it?
do you remember our encounter in paris?
you should know me by now.
am i the only one that knows the truth?
we had a lot of help back then.
your mom told me to look out for you.
you just love bringing that back up to annoy me.
maybe don't mention my past indescretions?
this was never going to work out between us.
i told you not to get attached.
i know more about you than you think.
i was there, remember?
i'm not about to forget all the shit you put me through.
you told me you were going to try and make this work.
remember what i said to you?
the last time i saw you, things were good between us.
you never mentioned this before.
that was the longest flight of my life, and you made it worse.
can i still trust you after all that?
at least we tried to make something work.
we never discussed what happened between us.
okay, but i'm driving the car this time.
i haven't forgotten what you said last week.
i'm still thinking about your comment.
i didn't realize it was you when i first saw you.
you seem to make a lot of enemies around here.
there's not much for us to talk about.
we worked it out last time.
i know you far better than you know yourself.
we have a long history.
is that the shirt you were wearing last time?
what don't i know about you?
i haven't told them about us.
you were the only person i could go to.
you know me.
this is bigger than both of us.
i can't stand your driving.
are you taking me to the place we had dinner last time?
that's not at all what you said.
didn't we agree on that?
i thought i made it very clear where i stand.
are these the same people that came after you last time?
are you still going on about it?
can we talk about it?
staying silent about it won't help.
you're the only person who knows the real me.
this is a bad time to talk about your problems.
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drchucktingle · 3 months ago
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how are you human?
so many interesting comments and thoughts on my post saying buds should consider not coming up to strangers in marginalized groups and saying 'how are you a real person that actually exists?'. i will point out this: despite my VERY gentle tone a few buds said i was having a 'meltdown' for even mentioning it
others said i was being too serious for someone who is ‘not a real person’. so if you would any more evidence of what it is like to be a buckaroo like myself there it is. every day, autistic folks who may seem ‘weird’ are bombarded with messages and comments and implications that they are fundamentally not human beings
sometimes it is outright and blatant like the comments on last post saying ‘well why are you getting mad? you are not even real’ and sometimes it is in the very subtle ways that folks use language when they talk to us. there is huge difference between ‘how do you exist?’ and ‘i am glad you exist.’
anyway, something that i think many people who have not lived this experience dont seem to understand is i KNOW the poster who said ‘how are you a real person that actually exists’ probably meant it as a compliment. that is THE POINT of why i am taking a moment out of my trot to gently and anonymously let them know how it might feel to be on other end of something like this as a queer or autistic or otherwise marginalized buckaroo. it is obviously not their intent to actually hurt someone, so i am letting them know
maybe because queerness and autism are not physically apparent it is hard to explain, but imagine going up to very tall or very short person and saying ‘cant BELIEVE you are real’ as a compliment. not a great way to treat others. on my original post, an indigenous author chimed in with their own experience and feelings similar to my own. a woman who said she was very tall told her story. point is, while i do not have their experience, what i am saying has a universal thread for 'othered' folks
point is: i UNDERSTAND there is this sort of exaggerated or ironic (or maybe even sometimes very literal) language around fandom to say things like ‘how are you a human?’ to creators, but since it is not your intent to hurt, i think you might want to know how that feels to marginalized buckaroos sometimes.
obviously you can say anything you want. i do not hold it against you. also, if you think ‘oh no, did i say something like this to chuck at a convention? i am so embarrassed' then DO NOT WORRY i promise you buckaroo you are just fine. i present myself in a way that is unusual by definition, so i have pretty thick skin about this type of thing and a lot of patience. MANY buds start off thinking i am ‘a joke’ and then become fans over time and i am glad to trot beside them and prove love is real.
however there are other autistic or queer or marginalized buckaroos with smaller platforms who hear this just as much as me, so i think it is important to say it loudly and maybe together we can work on making a very slight shift in the way we speak to the ‘others’ in our lives
we do not NEED to let subtle dehumanization slip into our language. in some cases it has been called ‘micro aggressions’ but i think buds dont often consider what that means for COMPLIMENTS. ultimately, telling marginalized people YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY EXIST may seem very fun and silly on the surface and for some folks it probably feels that way, but for others it can feel like a reminder of the broader doubt about their humanity. you can just say ‘YOU ARE AMAZING’ without the reminder of the many times autistic or queer or marginalized folks are told in a very serious and pointed way (like comments on the last post) ‘YOU ARE SO WEIRD THAT I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE NOT REAL’
buckaroos can take this information and apply it to their interactions, or they can ignore it, that is totally fine. we are all trotting our own trots and proving love in our own way and thats okay bud, HOWEVER i feel like it is important to at least let folks know, even if that means getting told i am having a ‘meltdown’. i think it is important to have complex or difficult conversations if it will prove a little more love in the long run. THANK YOU FOR READING BUCKAROOS. i am honored to trot forward with you can tackle this kind of thing with you, and honored you buckaroos have created such an amazing space with me to pull apart these kind of feelings. THIS IS PROOF THAT LOVE IS REAL LETS TROT
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ellieputellas · 2 months ago
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fine line | paige bueckers x reader
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Your brother’s best friend Paige Bueckers has hated you for as long as you can remember but when a game of Truth or Dare stirs something neither of you could ignore, the fine line between loathing and lust begins to blur. — inspired by welcome to the party tags: smut (18+), brothersbestfriend!Paige, mean!Paige, Paige and reader grew up together / hating each other for no reason, enemies-to-??? + this is my first paige fanfic so pls be nice </3, didn’t proofread… contains: femme!reader, making out, slight teasing, fingering r!receiving, cunnilingus r!receiving, drunk sex, alcohol use, foul language, toxic portrayal, has a slightly longer lead up to the smut | 7.3k words
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Paige couldn't tell why she hated your guts. She just knew she hated you from the moment she met you. 
When you met, you were eight and she was ten. She was your brother's best friend growing up. That meant she was always at your house — shooting hoops or playing video games with your brother. She loved hanging out with your brother and she loved bumming out in your house but she also never liked it whenever you were in the house too.
It wasn’t even like you were an annoying kid.  You were never too loud or annoying like other younger kids. You mostly kept to yourself, often reading novels or locked up in your room. You only interacted with Paige during dinners and on rare occasions, your brother would ask you to hang with them. But still, Paige hated you.
She hated the sickeningly sweet body spray you wore… the kind that reminded her of cheap scented erasers. She hated the little bows you clipped into your hair and the stack of kitschy bracelets you made jingling on your wrists. She hated the way you’d often hum to songs from Barbie movies. But most of all, she hated your laugh. It just seemed too melodic and rehearsed to her. It felt fake. 
Even as you grew up and ditched the bows and Barbie obsessions, Paige found new reasons to dislike you.  
She hated how you traded your frilly dresses for cropped tops and short skirts, how your outfits clung a little too well. Whenever you left the house in one of your skimpy outfits, Paige would glance at your brother and scoff, “You’re really letting her go out like that?” even if your brother couldn't care less.
She hated the stories she heard in high school too. You were always being pursued by loser douchebags. Every time someone mentioned your name, she'd roll her eyes and mercilessly insult whichever guy was interested in you. She found it irritating how you even bothered to entertain such losers.
But when she found out that girls were also growing interested in you and that you had expressed possibly being queer, the intensity of her hatred reached a new level. She didn’t know why, but the idea of it just frustrated her to no end. She reacted worse about her teammates liking you than she did about the ugly, loser guys you were entertaining. It pissed her off so much that she even wondered, just for a second, if she might be homophobic. (She wasn’t. She just hated you. At least, that’s what she told herself.)
Paige never bothered hiding her disdain. If you said anything, even something innocuous, she’d roll her eyes or glare at you like you’d just sprouted a second head. When you passed her in the hallways and offered her a polite smile, she responded with a scowl. Her favourite thing to pick apart though was your wardrobe. She often made snide comments about your “desperate” and “slutty” outfits, as if you were constantly fishing for attention, even when your clothes were perfectly normal.
Her animosity became so unbearable that you stopped trying to get along with her. Any attempt at civility was met with such blatant hostility that you decided avoiding her altogether was your best option. That was easier to do when Paige and your brother went to college. Your brother went to UCLA while Paige headed to UCONN, which meant that you didn't have to put up with the blonde menace anymore.
When it was your turn to choose a college, you stayed close to home in Minnesota, a decision that came with an unexpected side effect: witnessing Paige become a household name in your city. She wasn’t just your brother’s annoying best friend anymore; she was a bona fide hometown hero. Everyone knew her name, and they weren’t shy about their excitement when she came back to visit.
Before the holidays, your brother and his friend group decided to meet and hang out during the winter break. To make things even more interesting, your brother decided to host a party for their homecoming.
You didn’t mind. Your parents were off in Europe celebrating their anniversary, and the house felt too big and too quiet when it was just you. Besides, you got along well with your brother’s friends. They were friendly, funny, and easy to get along with.
Well, all of them except Paige.
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“Bean, did you grow taller since the last time I saw you?” Luke teased, grinning as he used the childhood nickname he’d given you back when you were the smallest kid in your class. Before you could respond, he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the ground slightly.
You laughed, swatting at his shoulder. “Luke, it’s been six months and no, I didn’t magically grow taller.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “I missed you, though! Please tell me you brought some In-N-Out back for me?”
He snorted, setting you back down. “Seriously? You think I’m gonna shove greasy burgers into my suitcase?” He shook his head, amused. “I told you, Bean, you’ve gotta visit California. You’d love it. We’ll hit up In-N-Out, Disneyland, all that fun shit.”
You nodded with a soft smile. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… things have been crazy,” you admitted. “Sophomore year is no joke. I’m drowning in schoolwork. It’s such a hassle”
“I can’t believe my baby sister is in her sophomore year of university.” He pouted and pinched your cheek. You rolled your eyes and swatted his hand away. “Look at you, all grown up and girl-bossing and shit.”
You snorted. “Please, I’m just trying to survive.” You responded. “Meanwhile, you seem to be living your best life in California. Is senior year treating you right?”
Luke and you exchanged college stories – his frat life, life in California, and your lack of a dating life contrasted by his seemingly unending roster. Even though you were both in college, some things stayed the same: he was still the social butterfly while you mostly still kept to yourself. 
“I’m so jealous,” you groaned as he launched into yet another story about a girl he dated. “I want to get into the dating scene so bad, but it’s just… frustrating. Like, why does nobody seem hot to me anymore? Am I turning asexual or something?”
Luke chuckled, leaning back in his seat. “No surprise there. Pretty sure you broke half my friend group’s hearts back in high school.” He smirked.  “Not that I ever minded… those dumbasses needed some humbling anyway.”
You laughed and shook your head. “Might suck seeing all the guys who crushed on you at the party later,” he commented. “Or… it might be pretty entertaining.”
You gave him a pointed look, but the corner of your mouth twitched. “That aside, I am excited to see your friends again,” you admitted, your smile faltering slightly. “Except… Paige.”
He laughed. “You might be the only one who isn’t excited to see Paige. Everyone’s geeking over seeing her again,” he responded, referencing Paige’s rise to fame. “I still don’t get why you two loathe each other.”
“Ask her that.” You groaned. “I guess I’ll just avoid her like I always used to do.”
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You underestimated your ability to ignore Paige. The moment you spotted her, you couldn’t help but become hyper-aware of her presence. She still looked like she did before – the same tall, blonde menace you grew up with – but she looked more mature, more self-assured. Paige had never been awkward or insecure, but now she carried an undeniable confidence that felt almost magnetic.
You were already dressed for the party — a cute denim skirt, a cropped shirt, and sneakers. The outfit struck a balance between casual and flirty, one that usually earned you compliments. But not from Paige. When her eyes landed on you, she gave you that familiar annoyed look, the one that always seemed to come with judgment.
Paige was sitting with your brother, already helping with the table setup. When you passed her, she let out a snarky chuckle.
“Did your sister forget her manners or something?” she quipped, referring to you not bothering to greet her. Your brother sighed and shot you a look, clearly tired of the back-and-forth between the two of you.
You paused and turned to look at her. Paige was dressed in a casual hoodie and pants, exuding an effortlessness that somehow felt intimidating. Her tousled blonde hair framing her sharp features only added to her annoyingly attractive presence. Heat crept up your ears as you quickly averted your gaze and mumbled a small “hey”  before focusing on setting up the snack bowls.
Her gaze swept over your outfit, pausing at the sliver of skin revealed by your cropped shirt. She rolled her eyes, trying to seem unimpressed. “Is that a kid’s shirt? That thing’s way too small for you,” she commented. “Looks like you raided a Baby Gap.”
Luke elbowed Paige, giving her a look of disapproval. “Be nice, blondie.” He reprimanded. “You’d think college would have matured your ass enough to stop picking on my sister.”
Paige rolled her eyes, her annoyance barely concealed as she continued setting up the cups. But she was clearly distracted, her gaze flicking toward you more often than she liked. No matter how hard she tried, her gaze always seemed to find you. She couldn’t help it. You had changed so much since high school, and it was driving her crazy.
No matter how hard she tried to deny it, Paige had always known you were attractive; there was no point pretending otherwise, especially when all her friends had crushed on you at some point.
But now, it was different. You weren’t just pretty anymore; you were so fucking hot to her.
Your cheeks had lost their softness, replaced by sharper angles that gave your face a more mature, striking look. And your body… Paige cursed herself for letting her thoughts wander there. Your legs looked impossibly long, and your waist… she shook her head, refusing to dwell on it.
She clenched her jaw, trying to focus on the task at hand but to no avail. When you reached up to grab something from the counter, her eyes betrayed her. They darted back to you, tracing the small glimpse of skin revealed by your cropped shirt. Her throat went dry, and she gritted her teeth, frustrated at herself for looking.
God, why does she have to wear such tiny fucking shirts? She thought to herself. So fucking annoying.
Paige fumbled with the bottle in her hand, using it as an excuse to keep busy. But even that distraction didn’t hold for long. Every time your mini skirt lifted a bit whenever you’d reach something or you bit your lip whenever deep in thought, her resolve crumbled a little more. No matter how much she tried to act indifferent, her gaze kept drifting back to you.
It went on throughout the night. Paige would be catching up with old friends, playing drinking games, or basking in the praise for her performance at UCONN, but whenever you were nearby, she couldn’t focus. She’d watch you laughing — the same melodic, carefree laugh that she always hated — and it only frustrated her more. Her fingers tightened around her beer bottle, almost like she was trying to keep control of her temper. When you danced, she couldn’t help but make a snarky comment to her friends about how silly you looked, but no one paid her any attention. She was the only one hyper-fixated on every small movement you made.
There was no reason for her to hate you now – she never had one in the first place – but she still could not help but be consumed by the irritation you stirred in her.
While Paige was getting a drink, her high school friend Derek approached with a cheeky grin, obviously tipsy already. “Paige, you have to join Truth or Dare,” he chuckled. “We need you in on this.”
She gave him a skeptical look. “Truth or Dare? We in fucking high school or something?” She chuckled, remembering all the times they played the game in high school with cheap liquor Derek’s older brother bought them.
“C’mon, we’re all here so might as well live like high schoolers again,” Derek said, ruffling his brown hair. “Don’t go all Hollywood on us, P. Just ‘cause you’re a basketball star doesn’t mean you can’t be one of us.”
Paige let out a small laugh, rolling her eyes. “Fine, fine. I’m in.” She sighed but couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face as she followed him into the living room. The house was packed, and they had to weave through the crowd. Paige found herself laughing, feeling nostalgic for all the times your brother held parties growing up. But that smile was quickly wiped off her face when she sat down on the carpeted floor of the living room and saw you sitting directly in front of her. She clenched her jaw.
You uncomfortably shifted in your seat, biting your lip as you tried to avert her gaze. Why can’t she act civil or normal for just a second?
The game started slow – drinking challenges, goofy tasks like smelling each other’s feet—but as the night wore on and the group got drunker, things got more playful. You were having fun, but it took a lot of effort to not acknowledge Paige’s piercing gaze every time she glanced your way.
Then suddenly, it was her turn.
The blonde chuckled, shaking her head. “Uh, truth, I guess.”
“Lame as fuck,” your brother commented with a slight slur in his speech. “Since when did Paige Bueckers chicken out of a dare?”
Paige rolled her eyes, leaning back. “I’m not sniffing anyone’s armpit, okay?” she laughed. “You guys can bully me all you want, but I’m sticking with truth.”
The room erupted with questions, eager to get the inside scoop on the UCONN star. Even the non-participants hanging around the edges of the living room jumped in with their questions. 
“Any celebrities slide into your DMs?” 
“Have you ever slept with a teammate?” 
“How much do you earn in a year?”
The questions kept coming with no sign of stopping soon; each question seemed more intriguing to the group than the last, making it harder for them to settle on one.. You gulped the last of your drink that had been swirling at the bottom of your cup, the horrible jungle juice mix burning as it slid down your throat. Your cheeks grew warm as you felt a surge of liquid courage.
You took one deep breath before you straightened up your posture and asked loudly, “Why do you hate me?”
A sudden silence fell over the room. The usual hum of chatter disappeared, leaving an eerie quiet. Then came the murmured “oohs” from the group, everyone fully aware of the tension between you two. They’d seen the subtle tension in the past, the way Paige’s eyes would narrow when you were around, but no one ever quite understood why. Your brother’s friends adored you with most of them even getting crushes on you. So, the question lingered: what was it about you that had Paige so irritated?
Paige’s smirk widened, but it looked more tongue-in-cheek. “I’m not answering that,” she shook her head firmly, looking away from you.
“Why?” you jeered, your confidence spiking. “Scared you’d have to admit you’ve been a bully all along?”
The crowd erupted in surprised laughter, clearly shocked by your sudden shift in attitude. You weren’t known for being confrontational, but the alcohol was making you bold. Your brother sighed, exasperated. “Alright, alright, no need to dig up old drama. Let’s just have some fun.”
But you weren’t letting it go. You locked eyes with your brother and shook your head at him, then turned back to Paige. “No, Luke. I need Paige to answer.”
Paige shot you an incredulous look. “You seriously want me to waste my turn on this? This is so dumb…” She tried to play it off but she was obviously getting riled up.
The crowd paused, muttering about what else to ask but you needed her to answer. “Why? What are you hiding, Paige?” You taunted, feeling your ears burn up. “Scared to admit that maybe you just hated me all along because you had a crush on me?”
Your words were meant to be playful, teasing, but something about them struck a nerve. Paige’s cheeks flushed, and her jaw tightened. The group took notice, sensing the tension. They started to tease her for it, but Paige was having none of it.
“Fine, I’ll answer,” she snapped, her voice biting. “I hate you because of how big-headed you are. You think everyone wants you — you even think I want you. You’re always sauntering around, being cute to everyone. It just pisses me off. You think you’re so hot but you just look like you’re making a fool out of yourself. Sorry to end your delusions right here but I don’t want you. I doubt anyone here actually does. Frankly, I wouldn’t touch you even if we were the last two people on earth. “
The room went silent for a moment before the sound of sharp exhales and hushed whispers filled the air. Your face flushed red, the embarrassment mixing with the sting of her words. You had expected a teasing response, not that.
Your brother hushed everyone and urged the game to move on, shooting you an apologetic look. “Alright, let’s keep it moving,” he said. 
The game went on but you were still pissed off and fixated on her answer. Several people had their turns but you were too distracted to focus on whatever anyone was doing. The alcohol didn’t help either; if anything, it just intensified your emotions.
Derek must have noticed your agitation because he slid over and handed you a fresh drink, then settled right back beside Paige. You chugged the drink, hoping the alcohol would numb whatever you were feeling.
“Bean, it’s your turn.” One of your brother’s friends nudged you, using the nickname they’d all called you growing up. You sighed and shrugged. You didn’t want to choose truth; honestly, you’d rather drink a shot out of someone’s dirty belly button than answer a question involving Paige.
“Dare,” you said flatly with a shrug.
Everyone seemed disappointed. It seemed like not all of your brother’s friends were over their crush on you like he had predicted; they all wanted to find out who you liked most between them, hoping they’d still have a chance at possibly rekindling a spark.
Derek cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “I dare you…” he grinned mischievously, “To kiss your brother’s hottest friend.”
Your brother groaned, visibly uncomfortable. “Ew, I don’t wanna see that.” 
“Then cover your eyes, fool,” someone chimed in, making everyone laugh.
You glanced around the circle, scanning the faces. Your brother’s friends were, without a doubt, attractive. After all, they were a popular group growing up. But none of them sparked any real interest in you.
You thoroughly looked at the circle of your brother’s friends. A lot of them were actually good-looking. Peter, with his striking blue eyes and dark hair, was the one everyone had a crush on growing up – especially during the era when everyone was obsessed with Logan Lerman – but he just didn’t seem like your type. Tanner was the typical heartthrob jock type but his muscles were too much for your taste. Bethany had also pursued you in high school. You always thought she was kinda cute but you were never actually interested.  Then you looked at Derek who always gave a cute puppy boy energy. You never really felt bad rejecting your brother’s friends – a lot of them needed serious humbling – except for Derek. He was always the nicest one among all of them. You bit your lip, scanning the circle once more.
But then, your eyes shifted to Paige.
She was sitting across from you, still wearing that scowl, the one that made her look like she was constantly annoyed by you. She took another swig of her beer, clearly uninterested in the game, but something about her caught your eye. Even though she drove you insane, there was no denying her looks.  
Whenever she was around the house growing up, you always felt yourself flush and grow hyperaware of your actions. When she made snarky comments about your slutty outfits, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel pride knowing she was riled up by seeing your body. Even looking at her now made your cheeks flush a bit. You thought maybe it was the annoyance you felt for her but something about her made your heart race in a different way, different from anger.
Then it hit you… is Paige my brother’s hottest friend?
Her eyes, which had been darting around the group, suddenly locked with yours. Her face froze, and you could see something shift behind her eyes. You gave her a small smile, subtle but playful enough for her to notice. She didn’t give anything back – not a scowl or a mutter or even an annoyed look. Paige just stared at you, startled by your fixated gaze.
You slid forward, crawling towards her slowly, the crowd howling in amusement at the unexpected twist. When you stopped right in front of Paige, kneeling in the space in front of her with a playful smirk, she didn’t move. She seemed frozen, the usual fire in her eyes replaced with something unreadable. You bit your lip, deciding to take it a step further.
With a sudden boldness, you reached up and grabbed the collar of her hoodie, pulling her closer to you. The audience’s teasing faded into the background as you closed the space between you. The air felt heavy as you inched closer to her, lips so close that you could feel her heavy breath graze your lips. Paige’s eyes fluttered as she fought to hold onto her usual defiance against you. Her mind screamed at her to push you away, to give you a disgusted look and say something demeaning and rude enough to kill your spirit but she couldn’t bring herself to do so.
Your lips were practically grazing against each other. Paige’s eyes were slowly fluttering, almost closed. Just at the moment that Paige looked like she was about to give in, you pulled back abruptly, your voice low and teasing. 
“In your dreams, Buckets.”
Paige blinked, stunned, as she pulled back with a look of confusion flashing across her face. You gave her a mischievous grin, watching her process what just happened. Before she could react, you quickly turned toward Derek, who had been watching the scene unfold with a mix of amusement and surprise.
Without hesitation, you grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss right in front of Paige. Derek’s eyes widened in shock, too flustered to even respond as you kissed him. Your eyes stayed locked on Paige the entire time, a smirk playing on your lips as you pulled away from Derek.
The crowd howled, amused by what just unfolded in front of their eyes. You made your way back to your seat, playfully wiping your lips with your fingertips as you gave a small eyebrow raise and smirk to Paige who look flustered.
“Bro, look at how red Derek is,” Tanner commented, teasing his friend who was growing shy at the attention.
Your brother laughed. “Now, why does Paige look even redder than Derek?”
Everyone turned their attention to the blonde who looked positively pissed off but undeniably flushed. The group proceeded to tease Paige who had lost all her effortlessly chill demeanour and who couldn’t even make a quip back to all her friends teasing her. She just rolled her eyes and sipped more of her drink.
You got her back and you knew it. You won this time.
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The game ended later on and everyone dispersed to play other games or drink some more. After the game, poor Derek had been trying to chat you up only for you to politely decline his advances again. You never really liked him. You just wanted to piss Paige off and he was the most convenient option.
After successfully shrugging off the boy, you decided that you had enough of that night, settling on having one last drink before turning in.
As tou made your way to the kitchen, you caught a glimpse of Paige, hanging around near the counter and chatting up a shorter girl you couldn’t recognize. Paige was smiling drunkenly at the girl as she used one hand to hold the girl’s waist. You rolled your eyes and scoffed as you passed by them, heading to the cooler to fish out a beer.
Paige’s ears rang when she heard you scoff. She turned around and furrowed her eyebrows together to look at you. “What’s your problem?”
You turned to look at her and frowned. “What? I can’t get a drink at my own home now?”
She chuckled dryly. “No, I’m talking about that little scoff when you passed me.” She stepped closer to you, almost forgetting about the girl she was chatting up. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous? I know you got a huge crush on me but —”
“Good night, Paige,” you dismissed her with a sharp tone, grabbing your beer. You shot her a dismissive look before brushing past her. It was almost three in the morning, and between the alcohol and exhaustion, you didn’t have the energy to keep bickering with her.
 You took a long swig of your drink as you headed upstairs, the weight of the day pulling you toward your bed. As much as you enjoyed seeing Paige pissed off, tonight wasn’t the night. Besides, you didn’t hate her… well, not enough to waste what little energy you had left.
Paige, however, wasn’t about to let it go. She was practically fuming as she watched you leave, sauntering across the crowd and up the stairs. Her jaw tightened. She hated how nonchalant you seemed, how you dismissed her so easily. She’d wanted you to fight back, to stay and argue with her, to match her energy. Instead, you left her hanging.
She took a sharp swig of her drink. “Hold this,” she muttered to the girl who had been chattering her ear off for the past hour, shoving her beer into her hands without waiting for a response. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but her feet carried her toward the stairs before she could stop herself. Navigating the house was second nature; it was all still so familiar. The creaky seventh step, the faint scuff marks on the wall, even the patched-up spot in the hallway from the time Luke drunkenly pushed his head through the plaster. So, even if she was plastered, making her way to you was easy. She was convinced she could even do it blindfolded.
When she finally reached your room, she hesitated for only a moment before turning the knob. Unlocked. Typical.
It was dim in your room. All you had on were the fairy lights you had set up in your room from your teenage years. When you heard the faint creak of the door, you quickly grabbed your discarded shirt to cover yourself.
“What the fuck?” you blurted, your voice sharp and unsteady. “Get out!”
You looked over your shoulder, expecting to see your brother or a random drunk. Instead, you saw Paige, standing by your door with a smirk on her face. She didn’t answer right away, instead closing the door behind her with a soft click. Her movements were slow, deliberate. You could tell by her gait and her demeanour that she was drunk. 
“Door unlocked, shirt off,” she commented as she continued to slowly walk to you. “Expecting Derek already?”
Your brows furrowed. “What?” you muttered, too tired and tipsy to process her words.
She took another step closer, and then another, her smirk widening. “You look disappointed to see me.” She mumbled. “Just thought you might be expecting someone else.”
“Paige,” you warned, clutching the shirt tighter against your chest. “What are you—”
Before you could finish, she was right in front of you, so close you could feel the heat radiating off her. When you tried to step back, your legs hit the edge of the bed, trapping you.
“God, look at you,” she murmured, her voice low and almost reverent, though her expression was anything but. “I fucking hate that face.”
Her eyes roamed over you, lingering on your collarbones, your bare shoulders. She tilted her head, studying you as if she was a predator ready to pounce on her prey. The smirk on her face grew. You gave her a confused look.
“Don’t look at me like you don’t want this,” she said, her voice dropping. “Like you didn’t want me to follow you up here.”
You shook your head, trying to clear the haze. “You’re drunk. Just… go back to the party, Paige.”
Paige didn’t budge. Instead, her hand slid to your waist, her touch firm but not rough, pulling you closer. “You’re drunk too, babe.” Paige cooed as she pushed her body against yours, closing the space between you two. “I saw the way you looked at me earlier. The way you grabbed me. You want this.”
You tried pushing her away but she stayed put. She was way stronger than you were. “Fuck off, Paige.”
“Now, I didn’t like that trick you played with Derek,” You shivered as she traced the contours of your back with her cold fingertips. “You had me thinking that you really wanted him…”
Paige leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on your neck, just underneath your ear. “But then I saw the look in your eyes when you were teasing me… and no one can feign lust like that.” She whispered before planting another kiss a little lower down your neck, closer to your collarbone. “You can’t deny it.”
You tried to push Paige feebly but her grip was tight on you. She chuckled at your lame attempt. “If you don’t want me, just say so and I’ll fuck off.” She moved away from your neck and flashed a serious look at you, tilting your head up so that you would be looking her in the eyes.
Her lips curled into a small smirk, waiting for you to say something. “But we both know you won’t say that.” 
“I know you want me to make you feel good.” She leaned forward, closer to your ear again. Her breath tickled your neck. “And I can make you feel good. I’m so fucking sure of that.”
Her closeness, the warmth of her breath against the crook of your ear, the intoxicating smell of her perfume – it was driving you insane. Paige looked at you, waiting for you to give in. She leaned in even closer causing you to gasp as your eyes fluttered. Yet, you said nothing still.
“Fucking knew it.”
And just like that, Paige was pulling you close, crashing your lips together. She grabbed your shirt from your hands and discarded it, freeing your hands so you could hold on to her as you kissed her with reciprocated hunger and desperation. Paige impatiently guided you to your bed, crawling on top of you, not allowing her lips to leave yours. 
You’ve kissed a few people before but no one kissed like Paige. She kissed like she was devouring you, desperate and needy. Her lips were constantly battling against yours as if wanting to assert her dominance over you.
Overwhelmed by the intensity of it all, you gasped for air. Paige’s lips then took refuge from your lips to your delicate neck. You moaned as her lips wrapped around the edge of your collarbones, sucking and biting them with her warm mouth. There was no doubt that she left a mark.
Her hands made their way to your chest, cupping you with her long fingers. She hummed under her breath as she pulled away from you. She bit her lip as she looked at the soft flesh in between her hands, squeezing them slightly. Paige sighed. “Fuck, they’re prettier than I imagined.” 
She leaned forward, wrapping a mouth around your erect nipple. You moaned as soon as you felt the warmth of her mouth wrapped around you as she started sucking. She kept a hand on the other breast, using her fingers to alternate between rubbing and pinching them. It felt so good that you were unconsciously grinding your core against the knee she slotted in between your legs.
“F-fuck, Paige,” you breathed out at the feeling. “Feels so good…”
She chuckled at your reaction, clearly amused by your reaction. You moaned again as soon as her tongue pressed against your nipple, drawing circles with the tip. 
Her free hand moved down and gripped your waist, holding you down as you squirmed with pleasure underneath her. Soon, her hand found its way under your skirt, pressing her fingers against your core. You could feel her mouth curl up into a smile against your chest. 
“Wet already? And for me?” She chuckled. “Thought you hated my guts.”
You moaned under your breath as she pressed two fingers firmly against your clothed wetness. “You’re so fucking annoying,” she mumbled before capturing your breast with her mouth again. “Makes me wanna fuck you even more.”
You whimpered as you felt two of her fingers rub circles against your clothed, throbbing cunt. You felt conflicted and confused. Paige always disliked you; she was always rude and crass towards you.
Yet, here she was, just a thin fabric away from taking you completely.
“You want more, babe?” She moved her mouth nearer to your ear, planting kisses on your jawline. “Tell me you want me… as much as I want you.”
Before you could even respond, she pressed harder against you, causing you to moan out loud. You furrowed your eyebrows together, overwhelmed by the sensation. You nodded your head as you bit your lower lip.
“Use your words, baby.” Her breath warm against your ear.
“Paige, I w-want — fuck!” Her fingers pressed harder against your clit, sending a small wave of pleasure, enough to distract you.
“Come on, you can do it…” She teased. “Beg for me.”
“Paige, please… I want you. Please.” You begged immediately, whimpering under your breath. You fluttered your eyes and bit your lower lip as you stared up at the blonde girl with her half-lidded eyes and eager lips. “I want you, Paige.”
She smiled, pleased by your reaction. Seeing you that desperate for her and hearing you say those words… it felt a thousand times better than the time she made you cry when she pulled on your pigtails. A million times better than seeing you get riled up when she made snarky comments. Infinitely better than fucking any other girl ever. 
“Please, Paige… please, baby. I need you.” Your voice came out so soft and needy that it practically trembled. The sweetness of it made Paige freeze for a moment, her jaw tightening. Normally, she’d crack a joke or tease you for acting so cutesy, but now? Now it just drove her feral.
She leaned in, brushing her lips against your jaw in a fleeting kiss before sliding your soaked underwear down in one swift motion. A shiver ran through you as the cool air met your bare skin, quickly replaced by the overwhelming heat of her touch. You silently thanked the loud music thumping and the sound of the drunken chatter downstairs, masking the sound that escaped your lips when Paige slipped two of her fingers inside you.
Her fingers were much longer than yours, reaching way deeper than you ever could with your own fingers. The sensation of her digits burying deep inside and the feeling of her weight on top of you — it had you grabbing onto her wide shoulders, burying your face in the crook of her neck as she relentlessly pounded into you. You wrapped your legs around her, holding on tightly as if she was a lifeline
"God, you're so fucking wet," Paige growled, her voice low and rough. She bit her lip, watching the way your hips bucked against her hand without any restraint. "Look at you. Grinding on me like this. Fucking desperate, aren't you?"
You felt your cheeks burn as she said it. The feeling of humiliation and arousal swirled in your body, leaving you breathless. You tightened your hold around her neck, moaning into her skin. 
“Fuck, you really must be a slut,” Paige said through gritted teeth, her tone teasing but sharp. “This fucking wet and submissive for someone you don’t even like? I make you feel that good, huh?”
You ignored her, continuing to savor the feeling of her fingers curling in with every thrust. ButPaige grew frustrated as you failed to answer her questions.
“Fucking answer me.” She said through gritted teeth as she began to fuck you even deeper, slamming her fingers from the knuckles to the tips with every thrust.
Her words pushed you off the edge, groaning as she said it. It wasn’t just arousal; it was frustration. You were enjoying having her touch you like that but Paige always had to be Paige. She always knew how to fuck up a perfectly good moment with her big mouth.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you spat out shakily, trying to catch your breath as her fingers plowed you. “S-so fucking obnoxious.”
Paige's lips curved into a wicked smirk, her fingers not slowing down for a second. "Yeah? Keep running that mouth, baby," she taunted, her voice dripping with arrogance. "I fucking dare you.”
Just as your lips parted again, Paige pressed harder against you, now pressing her thumb on your clit as she continued to curl her fingers inside you. Her lips found their way back to your neck, wrapping her mouth around the tender flesh before eagerly sucking. You let out a loud moan as you felt her teeth slowly sink into your flesh. Not hard enough to break skin but hard enough to leave a nasty bruise.
“Paige!” Her name slipped out of your mouth loudly before you could even think about it. “Fuck!”
Her chest grew warm at the sound of her name coming out of your mouth. She inched away from you again, looking at you vulnerable under her touch. She bit her lip as her eyes looked at your face. That fucking pretty face. 
“Say my name again,” She ordered in a quiet, low tone. “I want to hear you say it.”
Your eyes fluttered open, slightly glazed. Your lips curled in between your teeth as you saw the hunger in Paige’s eyes. 
“C’mon, baby.” She whispered, pressing a kiss on your cheek. “I’ll make you feel even better if you do.”
A shaky breath escaped your lips as you furrowed your eyebrows together once more, still overwhelmed by the sensation of her touch. Growing impatient, she pulled out her fingers before roughly inserting them back inside of you, curling them inward to press against your most sensitive spot.
You moaned out, arching your hips causing her fingers to bury themselves deeper into your g-spot. “Paige!”
“Good girl.” She smirked before swiftly moving down you, slotting her head in between your legs. She wasted no time, sticking her tongue inside your wet folds.
The slick and warm sensation caused you to arch your back, pressing yourself against her. You cursed out loud as you felt her move her tongue inside you. Your hands gripped her head, pushing her closer to your warmth.
“God yes, keep fucking me with your tongue, please.” You gyrated your hips against her mouth, practically riding her face.
Paige slowly moved up, taking her tongue out from inside of you before wrapping her mouth around your clit. Her mouth was impatient, sucking and flicking her tongue against you with a relentless hunger. She hummed against your core, obviously pleased with your reaction.
You barely had time to completely adjust to the new sensation of her mouth on you. Paige was already teasing your entrance with her fingertips again, getting them wet with your slick. She hummed in delight as she felt more of your nectar drip from your core as she continued to use her tongue to draw shapes against your clit. 
A whispered chain of incoherent curse words and please’s escaped your lips as you felt her finger enter you at an excruciatingly slow pace. You reached your hands down, trying to grab her own to shove it back in you already but Paige refused to let you get what you wanted that easily.
You whimpered as soon as Paige inserted two of her fingers inside you again. The joint sensation of her digits filling you and her warm mouth pleasuring your clit was enough to drive you absolutely insane. The blonde girl moved with such precision and skill; it felt like she already memorized how to make you feel good without having done so before.
Paige practically moaned feeling your walls clench around her and her face get even more soaked with your slick. It didn’t help that such sweet moans and whimpers filled the room, causing her to feel even more aroused. She pushed against the hood of your clit with her mouth, allowing her tongue better access to lick the most sensitive parts of your clit.
It didn’t take long until you were feeling the pleasure inside you build up, working towards the peak. It felt like every muscle in your body was contracting and tense as Paige picked up the pace with both her fingers and her tongue.
“Fuck!” You moaned out as the sensation grew more and more intense. “Paige, I’m going to — I’m gonna —”
Before you could even finish your sentence, you stiffened up before melting into your bed as the waves of pleasure rippled through your body. Your brain felt empty, devoid and incapable of thought as you allowed yourself to enjoy the feeling. You were already drunk a while ago but now, you felt completely and utterly intoxicated with pleasure.
You couldn’t think, couldn’t even move. You felt frozen until Paige collapsed onto the bed beside you, the mattress dipping under her weight. Her chest rose and fell in rhythm with yours, both of you still catching your breath. For a moment, the room was quiet except for the muffled music from downstairs and the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.
You turned your head to look at her. The soft glow of the lights traced her profile, highlighting the sharp lines of her jaw and the curve of her lips. The way the warm light caressed her pale skin made your chest tighten. You swallowed hard, trying to make sense of what just happened, of how everything between you had unravelled so quickly.
“Paige, why did—”
“No,” she interrupted, dismissing your question before you even had the chance to answer it. The words hung heavy in the air as she stared straight ahead at the ceiling. Her lips parted like she wanted to say more, but instead, she let out a shaky breath. 
Finally, she turned her head, her eyes locking onto yours. “I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”
You blinked, confused. “Oh…”
Paige closed her eyes for a moment, exhaling deeply. You could see it — how the realization of what just happened was crashing down on her, the same way it was on you. The heat, the urgency, the way you’d both given in so completely to something unspoken—it was all so raw, so real. It was as if you both were sobering up.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” she repeated, but it sounded more like she was convincing herself than you. Her voice cracked slightly. “This never happened.”
Her words hit you like a slap in the face. You stared at her, searching her face for any sign of hesitation, for something that might soften the blow. But she didn’t waver.
“Okay,” you finally said, your voice barely audible. You nodded, more to yourself than to her. “It never happened.”
The silence between you was deafening. You both stayed like that, lying side by side, staring at each other without speaking. You tried to study her face, her microexpressions… but there was nothing you could decipher. It seemed like she set her walls back up as soon as she could. 
Eventually, Paige sat up, her movements slow and deliberate. She reached for her phone which she accidentally dropped on the floor earlier, the faint glow from the screen lighting her face for a moment. She didn’t look back as she stood up and made her way to the door.
The door clicked shut behind her, and you let out a long, unsteady breath. You stared at the ceiling, feeling an unfamiliar, icky feeling settle into your chest. The horrible sensation started to spread and fester inside of you like a parasite or a disease.
You knew you fucked up, allowing all of that to happen. But what could you do about it now? It was done and no amount of regret could undo it. There was a line you two never seemed to cross but now… you just erased that line altogether.
You took a deep breath and sighed. “Fuck.”
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a/n: i’m back from my long break! still having a major writer’s block so no futfem or alexia fanfics yet. idk why but writing this paige fic is surely helping me get back into writing in general. this is my first time writing for a non-football player and mostly a result of me getting a crush on her after my other friends started making me watch her play lmao. idk if i will write more for her soon since i’m not really an avid basketball fan but who knows?
not sure if there'll be a part 2 but just in case, i'll add it to the masterlist!
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plethorawrites · 1 month ago
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Hey, so imagine Jason with a reader whose parents are simply the most loving beings in the universe, like R's father taught him basic things that neither Bruce nor his biological father could (like how to fix a broken sink, how to assemble a cabinet and even love advice) and R's mother was practically like a mother to him (visiting them regularly even when her daughter is not home, bringing soup when they know he is sick and helping him choose Valentine's Day gifts for the reader).
This may be the cutest prompt I've ever received. I love soft Jason soooo much!! (I fear I am not out of my obsession stage yet.)
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Jason Todd obviously grew up with few to no parental guidance and when he got it, it was more often than not negative like manipulation and abuse or neglect.
So, when he meets his girlfriend's parents he's understandably extremely nervous. From what you've told him, they're sweet. But he knows perception can change quickly and let's be real, he's not the good, kind-hearted person anyone would want for their daughter, in his opinion.
That said, when he does meet them for the first time and your mom envelopes him in the biggest hug he's received aside from you (a chronic cuddler, which he's come to appreciate.) he's a little stunned for the moment. It takes him a minute to even remember how to speak to introduce himself.
This man, all 6'2 and 240 pounds of him, actually seems shy for a moment, trying to make a good impression. You find it adorable when his cheeks blush after your mom compliments him on all the nice things you've told them about him. He didn't even know you bragged about him to people, let alone the extent of it. Like yeah, sure, you showered him in affection all the time, but that was at his apartment or yours.
The fact that you had actually mentioned him often enough that they knew about some of his quirks— his disdain for fish because Bruce made him eat it all the time as a kid at fancy events until he couldn't stand it anymore and his desire to meet for dinner not lunch since he had an obscure sleep schedule because of his "job" was astounding to him.
Even though they couldn't know what it was, you still boasted about how he was very passionate about it and you were proud of him for how hard he worked. That, admittedly, made him blush a little harder.
"She says you've got late hours, I hope dinner won't interfere," your mom would tell him considerately.
He shook his head. "No ma'am. I don't work until later."
She beamed. "Well good, then, because we've been dying to meet you."
Even the things about him that he assumed most parents wouldn't be thrilled to hear about, yours didn't seem to mind.
"You grew up in crime Alley, right?" Your father was questioned, in between the salad and entree.
Jason swallowed. There it was, he assumed. The disapproval he was anticipating. "Yes, I did," he replied, nodding.
"It's a difficult area to grow up in," your father noted. "A very close friend of mine was born over there. He's as tough as they come. Very resilient and reliable."
Jason was taken by surprise. "Uh- yeah, yes. I suppose you learn to be loyal when you don't have many people to trust." He internally cursed himself for saying that. It was too dark and pessimistic.
"An admirable quality," your mother said sincerely as you squeezed his hand under the table. "It must have also exposed you to a lot of different types of people and given you a very broad outlook on life."
He just nodded, swallowing some of his water.
Your father had similarly commented that he seemed to have a great work ethic, which Jason clearly appreciated and considered important. Your dad also, at the end of dinner, when you were out of ear range, made a quiet remark to Jason about how he seemed to make you very happy and that's all he ever wanted for his daughter. Jason had been expecting shovel talk or threats. At the very least, judgemental stares, the way he was used to, but instead your parents were absolutely lovely.
And it very clearly wasn't some temporary ruse, either, like he thought it might have been. They really were good people, just like you. When you moved in with him, your parents helped the two of you pack your old apartment and unpack in his. Your mom even insisted on cooking dinner since the two of you were exhausted from all the moving. He would never say no to her cooking, since aside from Alfred's, it was the best he'd ever had.
It was only a few weeks later, in the middle of summer, when your air conditioner broke down. It was Gotham, so obviously it was hot as hell. And of course no one was reliable when it came to actually coming to fix it. Your father, however, was used to fixing things and came over when you casually mentioned it to him after it was broken for a week or two.
He was about halfway through with it when Jason came home and he immediately felt bad just letting him, so your dad pointed towards some tool and asked him for some help.
"I don't really know how to fix an AC. Vehicles are more my thing," he confessed, lifting a wrench to his hand.
Your dad shrugged. "Not that hard. I'll show you."
Jason glanced at where you were sitting at the table with a glass of lemonade, giving him a light shrug. "Okay, sure," he muttered, rolling up his sleeves.
Jason liked to think the two of you had a pretty solid relationship, as far as honesty and commitment went. He loved you, he was almost positive by the time you'd been dating 15 months that he wanted to marry you.
But you still, occasionally, fought the way all couples did. And when you did, it was usually because he struggled to keep plans or left you waiting up for him, only to come home desperately needing stitches.
The worst it ever got was when he deliberately lied to you, swearing he'd stay out of something dangerous and going straight into danger the second he could. Even though nothing that bad actually happened, you were more than a little angry. In fact, during the screaming match you had, he could swear he saw the exact moment your heart broke when you told him you thought he cared more about being Red Hood than he did about you.
You left for hours. Four of them.
And when he heard a knock at the door, he was hopeful it was you, having forgot your keys. Instead, it was your mom. His heart dropped, wondering what she was doing there—planning to yell at him for how he treated you, grabbing some things for you so you could stay away for several days, breaking up with him on your behalf.
All she did was invite herself in, making some coffee (just the way she knew he liked it) and sitting on the couch with him. He was confused and silent, until she spoke up.
"She's not saying what the fight was about," she told him. "I assume it's your work. The uh-... nightly aspect of it?"
He blinked a little. Something about her tone was more suggestive than he liked. "It- partially, yeah," he admitted. "I didn't mean to break my promise."
She nodded. "I know," she muttered. "And I don't think she's mad, just...scared. She doesn't want to lose you."
"She won't," Jason replied instantly.
Your mom's lips quirked into a small smile. "Then tell her that," she suggested, adding that: "Trust is fragile. It takes a long time to build it and a single action can shatter it." She patted his knee, standing up and he stood too, walking her to the door.
"Why do I have a feeling you know what the fight was about, even without her telling you?" He asked quietly if not with some suspicion.
"You're a very good man, Jason," she told him. "But it doesn't take a genius to know why those hours you work are so obscure." Before he could question or deny what he felt she already knew, she was giving him a small kiss on the cheek, the way she often did to greet and say goodbye. "Call her," she said. "I'll make sure she picks up."
So he did. And you did answer, like she promised.
You made up, like always and it wasn't even six months later that he was calling your parents, asking for blessing to propose to you. Of course they said yes and we're thrilled to do so. Your mom even helped him pick out the ring. Which took hours, half because he couldn't decide and half because she kept starting to cry.
When he finally did find the right one, she naturally helped him plan the proposal, too. He wasn't always the greatest at romantic gestures. At least not grand ones. He was always better at the subtle shows of affection—remembering dates and details or taking care of you when you're sick. He doesn't want to do anything overwhelming, but filling the apartment with twinkling lights and telling you—with several tears in his eyes—how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, is plenty for you.
"Yes?" He repeats, almost in disbelief that you'd agreed so quickly to marry him.
"Yes, yes, obviously," you repeated, sniffling to keep from crying as you gave him your hand, letting him slip the ring on your finger.
His arms immediately enveloped you, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around like you weighed nothing. Setting you down, his lips found yours for a deep, long kiss, before pressing his forehead against yours and nuzzling your nose.
"I love you so much," he repeated, even though he'd said it three times already.
He already saw plenty of your parents, at least four or five times a month, but it seems like he sees them nearly everyday when the wedding planning starts. Your mom is more concerned with invitations and linens or vows while your dad really just shows up for cake tasting, or trying the catering companies. Not to mention to judge and criticize the venue options.
Still, they're there more than his own father figure is, sort of like they have been since he met them. They're there on your wedding day, crying in the front row when he uses his love of literature to craft was perhaps the most beautiful wedding vows ever recorded. They're there to take care of your apartment when you're on your honeymoon, coming to water the plants and collect the mail, not to mention stock the fridge before you get back.
They're there for your birthday and his, as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas. They're there to help prepare for the baby when you eventually have kids, your mom by soothing Jason's nerves and your dad by helping him paint the nursery or assemble furniture. They're there after the baby is born and visit whenever you need a babysitter for a few hours or even days to spend time together.
They're there, he realizes. They're there and he loves that, not just for you or for the baby, but for himself too. For the little kid inside him that never fully felt like any adults around him truly had his best interests at heart.
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strwberri-milk · 3 months ago
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Maybe this is a bit angsty but could I request the LADS men’s (or just Sylus’s) reaction when reader randomly, casually says in a conversation, ‘Well you’re probably not gonna stick around with me in the future anyway’ (so in short, they think they’re temporary).
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Zayne's attention snaps to you so quickly you would have thought you told him you're experiencing a cardiac event. He takes a second to process the words, brows furrowing as he asks you why you'd say something like that. His reaction is so visceral you can't help but laugh awkwardly, asking him what he means by that. The confusion tinged with something unreadable and sad hurts his heart, wondering if he hasn't made it clear enough that he's madly in love with you and only you.
He falls silent, pondering your words and his own actions. Has he not been affectionate enough with you? Has he not been obvious enough about how in love he is with you? You start to squirm, usually used to his thoughtful pauses but the tension rising in the air has you suffocating.
Eventually he tells you that you're going to be stuck with him for quite a while because he doesn't intend on giving you up that easily. He cups your face in his hands, telling you that you're the most precious thing to him in the world and he's going to love you until his dying breath, then past that. The confession is quite intense especially since he just looks very intense for the most part so it steals your breath away before Zayne pushes air right back into your lungs with a desperate kiss.
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Xavier immediately tells you off, raising a brow as he asks why you think he wouldn't be there in the future. He's spent so many years yearning for your warmth - it seems blasphemous to him not to stay with you until the universe tears you apart and then some. You see the hurt in his eyes immediately, trying to backtrack as he asks you if you really thought he'd leave.
He takes your hands in his gently, taking a palm to cup his cheek as he nuzzles into your warmth, looking up at you with those baby blues that seem to tempt you to fall into them as he repeats the question. Your words are dry in your throat as you look away, his hand coming up to tilt your face back to look at him.
He swears his life to you again, peppering your hand in kisses as he speaks. If you had any doubts about his feelings for you before there's no way you can now, not with the way his voice settles around you. He solidifies his feelings for you, devoting his entire being to you in the quiet space between the two of you.
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Rafayel is totally unamused, brushing your comment off as a joke. He fully thinks you're just trying to get under his skin, teasing him because that's the sort of relationship that the two of you have. When you don't respond with your usual enthusiasm he looks at you with a scrutinizing gaze. His lips press together as he starts to realise that you were serious, rolling his eyes as he pulls you against his chest.
He's shaking, thinly veiled anger running through his veins. He isn't really mad at you, but it would be wrong to say that he isn't at the same time. He doesn't understand why you'd think something like that, under the belief that he's made it very clear that he's in love with you and only you. I mean, have you seen him in a room with other people when they aren't you?
His words are soft in your ear, the quietest hint of a threat in them as he asks if you're serious. Nothing about this was temporary, about his feelings for you were fading. They never did and they never could, not even if he fell to his knees and begged for someone to take them from him. He's built on the anger of a dead civilsation and the inability to do anything but love you, telling you that even if you try to leave him he'll just wait until you're ready for him again.
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Sylus doesn't even stop what he's doing, chuckling softly at the notion. He thinks you're joking, unable to fathom that you're fully serious in thinking that he won't be sticking around. You feel a little upset at how easily he brushes you off, deciding that you're done for the day as you fall silent. He notices that right away, looking up at you and beckoning for you to crawl into his lap. If you refuse to he'll simply come over and pull you into his lap without question, telling you to repeat yourself.
You repeat the statement, now more unsure of yourself since he's staring at you intently. You can see the slight quirk of his lips, his smirk making your heart beat a little faster as you tell him that whatever the two of you have isn't serious. He laughs at the notion, shaking his head as he cups your face in his hands. He takes in every detail of your face, sighing softly as he buries his face into your neck, peppering kisses as he shakes his head.
He doesn't know what to say, the words all caught in his throat as he holds you. You don't need him to say anything though, the desperate way he clings to your body and his lips muttering the beginnings of words just to abandon them convincing you more with every passing second that he's going to love you until the end of time.
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