#better than the fake ass drama on the latest seasons

[five-seconds-of-swag]

Y’all remember when it took 3 girls, including Emily Schromm, to hold the Camilinator down? Cause that was PEAK challenge drama right there

[mochegato]

Pixie Spy

Written for the Jasonette July Wayne Gala prompt.

Why?!? Why was she doing this again? Oh right, because John Constantine promised to give her some help with a particularly difficult part of the Grimoire if she did.  And he needed the information he was currently obtaining in order to give said help.  That is how she ended up with an invitation, still not sure how Constantine pulled that off, to the most exclusive event of the year, the Wayne Gala.  

Plus, Adrien was kind of right, ordinarily it would be a great opportunity to showcase her designs. The problem was on its surface, her dress wasn't one of her best works. The black dress had a high, cowl neckline in front and in back, adding a bit of drama and a small homage to the local heroes, vigilantes she silently corrected herself.  The high neckline also offset the incredibly short bubble skirt, making her legs look longer than the Nile.  Despite being a bit uncomfortable showing that much leg, it was necessary for this particular design and if she could actually feel like she had long legs for once, she was willing to deal with the discomfort.  She also added a glittery belt to show her shape and add some bling, which seemed like something the people at this particular event would value.  It was functional, not fashionable.  Not that it was ugly, just that it was designed to be passable, enough to fit in but not enough to get noticed.

She fidgeted slightly as she stood in the entryway trying to get past the people piling up trying to not so discretely pay homage to the king.  That king being Bruce Wayne. From her research, he actually did seem like he was a good guy. The list of charities he started or contributed to was longer than she was tall. She scowled at the voice in the back of her head that sounded suspiciously like Adrien's saying that wasn't much.  Adrien, who got out of coming tonight because the mission was to observe the Waynes unnoticed and Adrien Agreste would get a bit too much attention, that cat bastard.

Despite the laundry list of charity work, Marinette was still suspicious of Wayne.  First of all, he was rich, filthy rich.  Anyone that rich had to have some dark and twisted secrets they were hiding.  He wouldn’t be the first rich person to hide their illicit activities behind a veil of charity work.  Second, he chose to live in Gotham, the most crime-riddled city in the world.  And that is just the reported crime.  A great deal of the crime never got reported to or investigated by the police, whether through corruption or exhaustion.  The kind of place a rich person could be confident they would get away with literal murder.

But mostly, it was Constantine that made her suspicious of Bruce Wayne.  Not that Constantine had ever said anything negative about him, well nothing more than calling him a pain in the ass, but that was really not so much an insult as a compliment coming from Constantine.  But, Wayne had information Constantine needed to help them with the Grimoire and Constantine refused to say how Wayne had gotten that information. How and why would a playboy billionaire have that information?  There is absolutely no reason someone outside of the hero/villain/magic community would have that information.  And, if he was such a good guy, why would Constantine need to go to these lengths to get it without Wayne’s knowledge?  Unless it was related to one of his illicit secrets.

Her eyes darted around the room taking in its grandeur, muttering to herself about how ostentatious it all was.  Normally, she would be completely mesmerized by the grandeur and pomp of the scene.  The room was decorated to perfection.  Everything was absolutely exquisite.  However, she was too anxious and wary to enjoy it.  So instead of being inspired, each gorgeous detail grated on her. She reached up to tug on her hair before remembering her hair had been pulled up into an elegant twist held in place with a single silver pin. With her normal anxiety relief method unavailable, she instead shifted nervously from foot to foot while she scanned the room trying to catch sight of the rest of the Waynes, gently tightening and loosening her grip on her purse, trying not to crush Tikki.

She was so lost in her anxiety she didn't notice the dark haired man walking behind her take notice of her and stop.  He stood behind her with a nonchalance that didn’t seem to fit a man his size.  He watched her fidget and muttering to herself about “damn rich people” with a smile on his face.

“You don't seem excited to be here” he said quietly.

She turned around with wide eyes, shocked that someone had heard her.  Whatever she was expecting to see it was not what she saw in front of her.  The man towered over her.  Even in her ridiculously, dangerously high heels, Chloe insisted, her head didn’t even come up to his chin.  He was also extremely handsome, with chiseled features and the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen.  Those eyes were going to be a problem.  They were clear and kind and roguish and hypnotizing.  His black hair with a shock of white was slightly tousled giving the impression of a rouge trying to look sophisticated.  Was it inappropriate to imagine running her hand through his hair and along his sharp jawline?  Yeah, probably not appropriate and likely not welcome.  Clean up your thoughts, girl!  Great, now Alya was in her head scolding her.  No, that’s not right, because that would definitely not be Alya’s advice.  

He was grinning at her with an impish look in his eyes. “What?  Not impressed with the ‘we care about whatever the point of this gala is, but we’re not hobos so let’s not skimp on the luxury for us’ décor?  Or maybe it is the illustrious, soul sucking, benefactors of Gotham that have set you on edge.”  The smile he shot her was guarded and critical. She chuckled lightly and looked away. “You have good judgement and a good reason to be suspicious.  But you made it to The event of the season, so you must have done something right… or wrong.”

She hummed and looked away.  “Have you ever had one of those days where everything went wrong and now you don't know how you got where you are or why you are there?”

“I’m familiar with the feeling,” he nodded.

“That's my life. All of it.  Every single fucking day.  This one included."

He barked out a laugh and looked at her again appraising her.  “Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine.  I think I like you.  You might just make this torture session more bearable.  See you around,” he chuckled as he walked away.

Marinette watched the man’s retreating back.  The night was already going better than she thought it would.  But the plan for the night wasn’t to find a date it was to act as a scout and keep tabs on the… enemy?  For all intents and purposes, that is what the Waynes were tonight, right?  They had information that she needed, that Paris needed, and they apparently weren’t going to part with it willingly, so they were the enemy.  No, enemy sounded too harsh she chided herself.  Opposition? Yes, they were the opposition.  That sounded much less hostile, more like a game… a game where people’s lives were on the line.  You know, just for fun, no pressure.

She found a spot against a wall she could use.  It was slightly raised but not well lit so it wouldn’t draw attention to her.  From her spot she could finally see the family. It was very thoughtful of them to group together like that.  She could see the little one, stiff and military-like posture, glowering at the people around him.  He was standing as far away from the rest of the people there as he could without actually leaving the room.  Much closer to the dancefloor, she could see the middle boy talking to a few business men. They all had fake smiles plastered on their faces as they made seemingly insignificant small talk.  She did not envy him that experience.  Between the two and to the side was the oldest son. He was chatting up some business person’s daughter, leaning in a lot closer than etiquette would dictate. Just the father then��� there he was still not too far from the door talking to a dark haired woman.  He had his arm around her waist as she leaned into him. She must be the girlfriend then. Mari made a note that she should probably pay attention to where she was as well.  Fortunately, the spot she had chosen gave her a great vantage point.  Unfortunately, her observation spot wasn’t as unnoticed as she had hoped.

 ___________________________________________________________

Jason made his way over to the bar and ordered a beer.  He still hadn’t spoken to his family to let them know he was there and he definitely needed a drink before he approached them.  Why the fuck was he here again?  Fucking Batman.  

Fresh glass of beer in hand, he made his way over to his brothers, refusing to acknowledge any of the partygoers along the way.  He watched as his brothers took note of his approach and excused themselves from their conversation partners.  Dick didn’t look too happy to turn away from the latest interest, smiling at her and giving her reassurances before sending her away.  Tim looked less happy to have to turn away from the men he was talking with. He should be thanking Jason really. He was giving him an out from having to deal with them and their god awful personalities and fashion. Seriously, who told that guy that tie was okay.  Even the Riddler would think that tie was obnoxious.

“Okay, I’m here,” Jason said taking a large swig of his drink.  “How long before I can ditch this bottomless pit of misery?”

“Woah, slow down there.  You’re going to get drunk before the announcement.”  Dick cautioned him.

“Do you want me here or do you want me sober?  You’re going to have to choose one.  They’re mutually exclusive, Dickweed.”

“Come on Jaybird, we all have to be here.  None of the rest of us are getting drunk.”

“That’s just because I’m smarter than you guys are,” he said tipping his glass to Tim who had scoffed at the suggestion and took another drink.  “There is no reason we all have to be here.  We shouldn’t all have to suffer.  And officially, I’m not even a member of this hellscape of a family anymore so I really shouldn’t have to be here.”

“If The Disappointment gets to leave, so do I. Someone should be patrolling tonight instead of all of us wasting our time entertaining these harpies.  And if one more person tries to touch me on my head I’m going to break a hand.”

“Stop it!  Nobody is leaving, Damian.  We’re in this together.  And Jason, if anyone got to go home it wouldn’t be you.  You are the reason we all have to be here in the first place; so we can ALL show our support when we officially announce that you are part of this ‘hellscape of a family’ again.  So enjoy it,” he said with a cutting smile.

“Not everyone enjoys getting groped by the gold-digging, trust fund whores.  I’ve found a way to cope.  It’s called alcohol.  Now if you’ll excuse me,” he downed the drink in his hand, “my drink is empty.  I’m going to go find another.”

“At least try not to interact with anyone. We don’t want to piss anyone off tonight.  And I don’t want to have to fix your messes.”

“Way ahead of you, Replacement.”  Jason turned and walked away before Dick could reprimand him again.  He needed to get away.  He could only handle his family in small does, very small doses, miniscule amounts, and he had already surpassed that limit.  

He grabbed two more drinks off of a passing waiter’s tray and looked for the Sunshine Girl.  He scanned the room sipping the champagne, trying not to make eye contact with anyone in the room.  His size and demeanor was usually enough to keep people away but making eye contact made people think he was open to talking.  He was not.  He had no interest in making nice with Gotham’s elite.  He wanted to get this night over with, with as little pain as possible.  

He finally spotted her off to the side of the room speaking with the obnoxious tie guy.  Jason watched as the man slid his hand up the side of her leg starting to move under her skirt.  Jason started to make his way over to them until he saw her move closer to the man.  She was close enough to whisper seductively into his ear now.  Ah, not uninvited then.  Maybe he had misread her.  Well there goes his hope of this party not sucking balls.  He started to turn away but noticed a pained expression on the man’s face.  He turned back to reexamine the scene.  She was holding the man’s hand at an unnatural angle.  It was a hold he’d used a few times himself, it was discrete but extremely effective, causing intense pain with a small movement.  He knew if she moved her hand just a few more centimeters, she could easily break his wrist.

She let go with a viscous look pushing him away from her as she did.  The man shook his hand and scowled at her.  He started back toward her and Jason took off running, not pausing to apologize to the people he bumped into along the way.  Before he could get to her, she had already taken care of it. She squared her shoulders and glared at the man, making it clear that she could and would continue with her actions if he persisted.  When she moved her hand ever so slightly, just enough so he could see it and remember what she had done, the man turned away and smiled at the people who had been standing behind him as though nothing had happened.  Jason chuckled to himself watching her move away from the man. She was definitely going to make this night more bearable.

“Looks like you don’t need me around for protection. Although I did bring a drink so maybe I can earn my keep that way,” he said handing her one of the glasses in his hand.  “That was extremely impressive.  How did you lean to handle yourself like that?”  

She accepted the glass and shrugged.  “You live in Paris long enough you pick up a few things.”

“That isn’t something you just ‘pick up’. That’s experience.”

“And that is exactly what you get when you have a supervillain terrorizing your streets and thoughts for 5 years; experience. And how do you know about that move?  Rich boy secretly a vigilante?” She raised an eyebrow at him giving him a daring smile and pretending to take a drink from the glass.  She was on a mission and she didn’t know him.  She wasn’t about to actually drink anything a stranger gave her, let alone get drunk.

“You don’t grow up in Gotham without learning how to take down someone trying to cop a feel.  And what do you mean about a supervillain in Paris?” he asked taking a step closer to her, concern edging into his stare.

“It doesn’t matter.  It’s not relevant for tonight.” She said taking a step away and scanning the room again to locate the Waynes.

He looked at her for a few moments taking her in, not just her appearance but how she held herself.  She stood with confidence and nonchalance.  She wasn’t acting coy, she wasn’t baiting him to ask her more questions, she was serious.  There was some kind of supervillain running around Paris that they had no idea about.  Well that piqued his interest.  He wanted to find out more about that and just his luck, the only person around who knew about it was the gorgeous and badass Sunshine Child in front of him. Guess he’ll just have to suffer and spend more time talking to her.  The things he does for Gotham, he smirked to himself. “I’m Jason,” he said putting his hand out for her to shake.

She looked at his hand before hesitantly taking it. His hand absolutely engulfed hers. “Nice to meet you Jason,” she said looking toward the dancefloor.  She had last seen the Waynes near the dancefloor and they couldn’t have gotten far, right?  They were likely to be near it.

Misinterpreting her focus he asked, “Wanna dance?” placing down his now empty glass.

She needed a better vantage point to locate the Waynes and even if they weren’t on the dancefloor anymore, the dancefloor would be the ideal place get an unobstructed, overall view of the room.  She could see the entire room from the dancefloor.  She just had to scope it out discretely so Jason didn’t get suspicious.  “Sure,” she said smiling at him and accepting the hand he had offered her.

He guided her out onto the dancefloor.  Jason noticed a little girl standing nervously next to the dancefloor looking at a group of kids nearby.  “Hold on just a second,” he said dropping her hand to kneel down next to the little girl.  “Hey, I just wanted to say what a beautiful dress you have.  I wish you had a smile to match.  Anything wrong, kid?” he asked gently.  The little girl gave him a nervous smile.

“Thanks.  My Mom said I could pick out a dress and I chose this one.  But Mom says it looks silly.  It’s too fluffy and gets in everyone’s way.”

At that Marinette kneeled down next to her as well. “Oh.  Well, let me fill you in on a little secret.  I’m a fashion designer and I can tell you there is nothing wrong with fluffy.  You did a great job picking it out.  It is perfect for you.  I couldn’t design anything better.  I wish I looked as confident and effortlessly beautiful as you do. ”

The smile the little girl gave her was genuine this time.  “You really like it?”

“I do,” Marinette responded.  

“I do, too.  I’m not a fashion designer, but I still think you look good, kid.  And if anyone tells you they don’t like it, scr… I mean, forget them.  Who cares what they think.  A fashion designer and a delinquent think it looks amazing.  Don’t let someone else tell you what you like.” Jason added.  The little girl beamed at both of them and bounded off to join the kids with much more confidence.

Marinette watched him as he watched the kid play with her friends making raucous noise as they played, a grin on his face until he saw some parents come to reprimand their kids for being so noisy.  So, rich boy has a heart and is really protective of kids.  Well that wasn’t going to help Marinette focus solely on the mission. “That was incredibly nice of you.  That’s not advice I would have expected from someone attending a party like this.” Marinette said taking Jason’s outstretched hand again.

“Just because we’re miserable here doesn’t mean she should be, too.  Kids should be happy.  It’s ridiculous to bring a kid to a party if you aren’t going to let them be a kid. Adults in Gotham expect too much of their kids.  They treat them like props instead of kids, tools to help them achieve a goal.” He said voice getting gruff as he spoke.  He looked back at her and shook his head as if to clear his head of his thoughts.  He smiled at her instead and took her waist with his free hand to start dancing with her.

“You know, I noticed you never did give me your name.”

She looked into his eyes for a just a moment before she looked back to the dancefloor, “You know, I noticed that too.”

“Hmmm.  Secretive. No name but a fashion designer from Paris,” he said.  Marinette paled slightly refusing to look back at him.  He was paying attention to her and noticing details.  She hadn’t expected that from this crowd.  She was going to have to be more careful about what she said.  ‘Not get noticed’ played over and over in her head.  She was supposed to slip in and out with nobody remembering her.  She might have blown the mission already.  But, was she ready to walk away from those blue eyes?  Surely, talking with him couldn’t do any harm, right?  “So, did you design the dress you’re wearing?”

She was brought back to reality with a jolt.  “Yes.  Not… not my best work, but it fit the uh, occasion,” she stuttered out.

“Was the occasion to look stunning?  Because you do.”  He grinned smugly as she blushed heavily under his praise.  This was fun.  This was his new mission for the night; to see how many times he could make her blush.  “Still not going to tell me your name, huh?”

She looked back at him before dropping her eyes again.  Stupid mission.  If it were just her here for herself, she could stay here dancing with Jason and gazing into his eyes for the rest of the night, and tomorrow, and the day after for that matter.  But she wasn’t here for herself.  She was here for a reason and that reason demanded she be anonymous and keep track of the Waynes.

She scanned the floor again and finally spotted the Waynes, confirming they were all there.  Nobody had snuck off.  They really liked sticking around each other didn’t they?

“No, it takes more than a pretty line from a pretty boy to get my name” she said looking back to Jason and plastering on a fake smile. “I don’t need any rich boys remembering me after this is over.  Tomorrow I’ll go back to my real life and it will be like none of this ever happened. I can report that I came, I danced, and I even smiled a few times, then never speak of it again.”

“Friends or family forced you to come because they thought you needed some excitement in your life, Pixie Pop?”

“Something like that… Pixie Pop?”

“You won’t tell me your name and I need to call you something.  You’re little and mischievous and can handle yourself… Pixie Pop. Honestly, you’re lucky I didn’t go with Odysseus.  Also, you think I’m pretty?”  He grinned down at her.

She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway, cheeks flushing slightly.  “I think that would have made you Polyphemus, which you certainly have the size for,” she grinned up at him.  “Anyway, that’s why I’m here.  How about you?”

“Oh, my family thinks I have enough fun already. I’m here because if they have to suffer, so do I.  And all to bolster the name of the illustrious Bruce Wayne.”

Marinette examined his face as he stared toward where she last seen Bruce Wayne.  He looked annoyed and frustrated.  This was a side of Mr. Wayne she had not heard about in her research, a side that frustrated native Gothamites.  A bit more information could be helpful for her to figure out what role he played in the Grimoire information Constantine was gathering, figure out whether or not he was a threat.  “Not a fan?” she asked delicately.

He looked back at her examining her face for any malice.  “Depends on the day.”

She hummed in response.  “What can you tell me about Bruce Wayne?” she finally asked.

“Why do you want to know?” he responded suspiciously. Most people looking for more information wanted it as a weapon.  Bruce might not be his favorite person, he might actually hate him right now, but he wasn’t going to help someone take him down unless it was him.

She shrugged, “everything I’ve seen shows an exemplary record for him.  You don’t seem to be a fan though and you’ve grown up in Gotham so you would have some good insights.  So, I’m wondering what your take on him is.  What he’s done to draw your ire.”

Jason nodded slightly seeming to mull over what she said.  “He does good things.  He helps a lot of charities.  He honestly does care about the city and the people and about making their lives better. His parenting skills could use some work though.  He could show his sons that he actually cares about them as more than tools, you know, whether they live or died…” he furrowed his brows and looked away for a few seconds before he schooled his expression.  His eyes got a wicked gleam to them and he leaned towards her to whisper conspiratorially “… and I hear he’s sleeping with Batman.”

Mari looks at him surprised.  “Huh, I guess he has a type then, supermodels, superheroes…”

“Supervillains…” Jason says under her breath looking back at Bruce and his date.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he covered quickly, but the damage had already been done.  She had started thinking about Bruce’s involvement with the super community.  If he was sleeping with superheroes and super villains, that meant he was part of the same circles as Constantine… and Constantine liked dating in the super community.  Could Bruce Wayne be in the super community?  That would explain why he had information pertaining to the Grimoire.  And she might need to revisit exactly how Constantine knew Bruce Wayne.

“Are you okay?  I didn’t break you, did I?” he asked cautiously.

“Yeah, fine I could just maybe use some uh, water?” she gave an awkward smile.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, please?”  She just needed a bit of space to think.

Jason left to grab a glass of water and turned back to her.  She watched Bruce with her head crooked to the side.  He saw her finger discretely swiping to the right a few times as she stared intently at Bruce.  After a few times her finger swiped left instead and head straightened.  She looked around to the other members of the family as if she was counting, confirming something in her head.

Marinette’s eyes widened as she suddenly realized why Bruce Wayne could have information they needed and why Constantine needed her to keep an eye on the Waynes.  Shit. Shit shit shit shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.  She turned away quickly.  This could not be happening.  This. Could. Not. Be. Happening.  She did NOT help him break into the BATCAVE while she kept tabs on BATMAN.

And if Constantine was trying desperately to avoid him, like he did all his exes…That little…

Jason had no idea what happened but as he got closer to his Pixie he could hear her muttering under her breath in French.  His French was a bit rusty so even the pieces he could pick up were scarce and nonsensical.  Something about maybe “lying” and “Roast Beef” and “bat” and “shark” and “fucking”.  He couldn’t be positive about any of the words except two; “fucking” and “bat” those he was pretty familiar with.  Not to brag but he could swear like a sailor in at least 7 languages.  And “bat”, he knew that word in a few more languages for obvious reasons.

She was abruptly moving and ran right into him before she could take notice of her surroundings.  She looked at Jason with wide eyes, reexamining the man she had spent the evening speaking and dancing with.  Suddenly, everything clicking into place.  There was one more hero she hadn’t accounted for, Red Hood, who while he hid his face behind a mask, just so happened to have the same towering build as Jason. But Bruce Wayne didn’t have any more kids, right?  And if the other vigilantes were his sons, Red Hood should be too, right?  He just had the three boys and the two girls who were out of town.  That was it.  He had another son, but that son had died.  What was his name… She gasped loudly, “Oh God! You’re Jason,” she exclaimed out loud.  

“Yeah?”  He said confused.  They’d been over this before.

“You’re Jason Todd,” she said looking down and taking slow breaths.  “You’re Bruce Wayne’s son.”

He looked at her startled.  She put that together quicker than he was expecting especially since she didn’t seem to know much about the family. “For what it’s worth, I don’t feel like his son most of the time,” he tried to joke.  “Sorry for not telling you before.  I don’t like talking about being in the family, or being in the family at all, actually.” He winced looking at her wide eyes.

“I wasn’t supposed to get noticed by the Waynes. Shit!”

“Then you shouldn’t have worn that dress… or that face… or that smile, Pixie.”  He said grinning suavely.  

She examined him for a few seconds, emotions flittering across her face almost too quickly to identify them.  Confusion, bashful, flattered, hopeful, guilt, pain, melancholy.

“I have to go.” She finally spoke up.

“Wait.  What?”

“I… I have to go”

“Wait, is it… you have to go because I’m Wayne’s son?”

“No, I… shit.  Putain de bâtard.” Yep, that one he understood too.  Wait... “Me?” He asked pointing to himself.

“No, not you… Not because you’re a Wayne, well kind of because you’re a Wayne.  It’s…” she faltered for a few seconds then muttered under her breath again “Je vais tuer cette putain de mère.”

“Wait, who is the mother fucker you’re talking about? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.  I’m just going to kill a bitch when I get home.”

“Okay… Okay, first, that is a lot more swearing than I thought you were capable of and I’m extremely impressed… and turned on,” he chuckled as she rolled her eyes at him and mumbled under her breath “you should have heard what was going on in my head”.  He raised his eyebrows at her suggestion.  “Okay, you’re making it really hard not to make out with you right now.” He watched proudly as her cheeks suddenly blazed red at his comment. Another point for him tonight.

“Second, if you’re just worried about Bruce finding out you were here, it never happened.  I never saw you.  You were never here,” he assured her.  Instead of calming her she seemed more panicked, eyes darting from the door to him. This seemed like more than just not wanting to get noticed.  She was into something and didn’t want to be.  “Or, if you’re in trouble, I can help.  You just need to tell me what is going on.  You don’t seem like you would willingly work with someone out to hurt others, so whatever it is, I’m sure you aren’t willingly doing it.  If it is something bad.  I just really have no idea what is going on right now and I would like you to tell me.” He continued earnestly, looking her in her eyes to make sure she understood how deathly serious he was about it.  If she needed help, he WOULD help her.  Even if he didn’t like her, which he really did, he was going to help put that smile back on her face.

She looked at him for another few moments opening her mouth slightly to say something then seemed to think better of it and closed it again.  She narrowed her eyes and looked away scanning the room as she thought about what to say and do next.  She seemed to come to a conclusion as she turned back to him and set her feet firmly on the ground.

“I never told you why I was here, did I?” Even before he shook his head she continued.  “I’m here to keep an eye on the Waynes.  On you, apparently.  Didn’t know you were back from the dead though, so I wasn’t looking out for you. Congratulations on that, by the way, you know, on the whole not being dead thing.  That’s really amazing.  I’m glad you can be around to enjoy life and laugh and be sarcastic and look at me with those eyes and look like that in a suit… probably even better out of it.”  She muttered the last part under her breath.

“I’d love to see you out of that dress, too.” He smiled smugly at her.

She huffed out a breath, cheeks reddening again, “Yeah, not happening.  I’m burning this dress as soon as I get out of here.”

“I can help you with that, too.  I like setting fires.  Two birds, one pyrotechnic.” He preened for a moment enjoying the flirting. Wait, less flirting, more focusing back on the more important part of her earlier speech.

“Wait, why are you keeping an eye on us?” he asked apprehensively.

“So I could warn my… associate if any of you left. So he could have plenty of time to… what is the best way to say this…” she looked up to the ceiling and took a deep steadying breath thinking about the words she wanted to use.  None of this was part of the plan. “…so he could have plenty of time to evacuate your… lair? No, lair makes you sound like villains… your illicit… cavern of, actually I don’t know if it is a cavern… and it isn’t really illicit, is it?  Well, actually I guess it kind of is, but that still makes it sound like you’re a villain…your underground… no, I don’t even know if it is underground… to evacuate your… uh… secret… base of… um, operations?”

“My what?” Jason demanded now more than a little concerned. “Who are you?”

“Nobody.  Absolutely nobody of consequence. And nobody who should be here right now.”  She turned to walk away before Jason stopped her.

“No.  You don’t get to say something like that then try to slink away like nothing happened. Come on, we’re going to go talk to some people,” he said grabbing her arm a bit harder than strictly necessary and dragging her towards his brothers and Bruce.  She definitely figured out who they all were or at least who Bruce was and that they knew too, which put her in danger, and she was working with someone to break into the Batcave, which put them all in danger.  Everything about this situation was dangerous and bad and they needed to talk to the family to figure out the best next steps.

Marinette dug her heels into the ground pulling against him, a really bad idea considering how high her heels were. Instead of stopping him she stumbled into his chest allowing him the opportunity to wrap his arms around her, “I’m not going anywhere with you,” she said squirming to get out of his embrace. “This is between you guys.  I have neither the desire nor the interest to get involved in this little lover’s spat.  I have more important things to be doing right now.  Things that asshole was supposed to be doing instead of pulling practical jokes.”

“Jokes?  What do you mean jokes?  What the fuck is going on?”  He looked at her again.  She wasn’t afraid, she wasn’t gloating, she wasn’t even nervous.  She was annoyed verging on enraged.  

“Nothing you need to worry about, Red.” She threw in the moniker at him to get him to back down.  She knew how important secret identities were, and how finding out someone knew yours could throw you off your game.  She felt a bit of guilt as she used that knowledge against him but this was no longer fun.  Now this was infuriating.  John was playing games with his former lover, or current lover, whatever Bruce was to him, instead of just helping.  He was taking time she didn’t want to spend, time the people of Paris should not have to wait.  They had spent weeks planning this when he could have just walked in and asked for the information.  They had wasted so much time.

“I. Do. Not. Have. Time. For. This.  This is not a joke.  This is not some gag for you overgrown children to play at,” she said hitting her finger into his chest with each word.  “I have people in need relying on me.  I have children counting on me. Parents counting on me.  Single people, who also deserve to live just as much as everyone else, counting on me and all suffering while they wait.  I. Am. Done.  And I am leaving”

Jason listened to her shocked.  Something was happening and he had absolutely no idea what, but somehow they were involved.  He hated not knowing what was going on.  Apparently children were suffering because of all of this and he didn’t know why.  But, he was going to figure it out.  She was right.  They did not have time for this.  Whatever was going on, they were going to help.  He turned away loosening his grip on her waist to just laying his arm on her instead of encircling her.  He touched his hand to his ear to activate the com hidden inside, “Tim, can you check the security video for the uh… our base of operations?”

It appeared that Tim was giving Jason some resistance because Jason turned away even further and started yell whispering threats into the air.  He was trying to be as discrete as possible in the crowded room, which normally wouldn’t be such a concern but there was a group of dancers headed their way, just leaving the dance floor after the song ended.  Marinette took advantage of his distraction and the sudden cover to twist away from him and slip into the crowd.

Jason called after her and tried to grasp her arm but missed her.  He searched for her but the crowd was too thick, having had to bottleneck to get past the tables surrounding the dance floor.  He scanned the crowd for her twisted hair or the black dress, but couldn’t see her in the group.  She had effectively disappeared, but if she went into the crowd, she would have to come out and cross the dancefloor in order to leave.  He could just wait for her on the other side of the group and keep an eye on the dancefloor.  He moved to go around the table, but that side was just as crowded so he did the only rational, discrete thing he could in the situation, he slid across the top of the table landing on the dancefloor and waited to grab her there, but she never came out.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

_____________________________________________________________

Marinette had a habit of catastrophizing.  She knew this.  Everyone who knew her knew this.  She thought of all of the worst case scenarios and tried to plan for them. Generally, it was a wasted effort that did little more than stress her out and annoy her teammates.  Today, however, today it paid off.  She had anticipated having to make a quick escape and once she decided it was time to go, she put her escape plan into action. Freeing herself from Jason, she pulled off her belt before even getting to the crowd.  As she entered the crowd of people, she pulled out her hair pin, letting her hair fall down.  She didn’t even have to hunch down much at all to disappear into the crowd as she weaved her way through them.  One advantage to being short.  She ran her left hand through her hair tousling it so her long raven hair cascaded around her shoulders.  With her right hand, she yanked at the cowl neckline of her dress, allowing the fabric overlay to drop forming a floor length skirt, revealing the bodice of her now red Harlow inspired dress that had been hidden underneath.  Her new dress hugged her body until it reached her hips then fell freely.  

Finally, she reached into her red purse, removed her phone, the cookie for Tikki, and Kaalki’s glasses, nodded to Tikki, turned her purse inside out revealing a now black purse with red detailing, and returned her phone, glasses, cookie, hairpin, and belt into it, leaving plenty of room for Tikki. The entire change took all of 10 seconds.  By the time she would walk out of the crowd, she would be completely unrecognizable, at least by anyone who didn’t already know her.  Unless that is, if they were looking for someone moving against the tide of people.  That would be a dead giveaway.  So instead, she pivoted and moved with the crowd instead of against it, parting with them after a few tables and moving laterally toward the exit.

Marinette made her way to the exit quickly, but not quickly enough to draw attention to herself.  She needed to get to Constantine before the “bat family”, as her research had called them, got to him.  They had reasons for keeping other superheroes out of Paris and she had no interest in having that particular awkward and slightly guilt laden (stupid gorgeous blue eyes she wanted to get lost in) conversation with them.  Especially when she was this utterly livid with Constantine, which was another reason she was rushing.  She needed to get to him so she could beat the asshole out of him. Oh, she was going to make him pay for this, and not in a way he would enjoy.  

She was angry and frustrated and guilty and grieved. She knew Jason didn’t deserve for her to snap at him like she had but she had been too frustrated to hold back and he was part of the problem.  She had been having fun with Jason.  She had been enjoying bantering with him and looking into his eyes.  She had really, really been enjoying having him look at her like she was the most interesting thing in Gotham and having him hold her closer than he had to while they danced.  And now it was gone.  She was a hero and he was a vigilante so he had to be kept at a distance.  A 3,670 mile distance to be precise, well approximate.

She was just about to cross through the exit when a voice stopped her.

“Hey,” a woman with short black hair and green eyes called out to her.  Marinette slowed down weighing the risk of just blowing her off vs the risk of stopping. She decided ignoring her might lead to the woman calling after her, which would bring unwanted attention, which she wanted to avoid.  Stopping seemed the safer answer.  As long as she didn’t look back at the gala or do anything else that might incriminate herself, she would be able to get away without any awkward conversations or fights.

“Yes” she answered with a strained smile.

“I saw that little quick change back there,” the woman responded.  Marinette’s eyes widened in panic.  Before anxiety could start going over all the worst case scenarios her mind could come up with, she was already in the midst of one of them in real life she really didn’t need to start thinking of worse things to add to it, the woman continued, nonchalantly scanning the people at the gala, “don’t worry, I’m not going to out you.  I just might have occasion to use a quick change myself from time to time, so I was hoping you might share where you got your dress.”  She shot Marinette a wicked smile.  ”Just because you’re hustling doesn’t mean you can’t look killer doing it.”

Marinette relaxed minutely and gave her a small smile, “it’s called MDC Designs.  She’s online. What’s your name so she’ll know who to look out for?”

“Thanks kitten.  I appreciate it.”  She said never looking back at Marinette.  “Selina.  Selina Kyle. I’d say nice to meet you, but we never met, did we?”

Marinette smiled to herself as she walked out the door. Maybe the night wasn’t a total loss. Hopefully, Constantine got the information they needed, she’ll get to punch his smug face as soon as she sees him, and she’ll get a new client.  Guess Adrien was right about showcasing her design after all.  He must never know.  Not such a bad night at all.

 Chapter 2

 Tag:

@fsketchart @jasonette-july-2k20

[dearericbittle]

Top 5 2020

So the amazeballs @fairydustedtheory tagged me, and since she made me, I’m actually doing this. Or my version of it anyway. Hope you’re happy! 

Top 5 most popular fics

The coolest wolf in the whole wide world, Sterek. T, 8k. Summary: Stiles is surprisingly good at being a wolf. Like, super good at control, loves the drama of making weird entrances, and determined to try all the things. Because he has to find out what’s different about being a wolf. And Derek is going to be his Yoda, whether he wants to or not. Only Stiles is pretty sure Yoda never smelled this good.

Don’t know how to reach you when you get like this (waiting for you to come home), Sterek. T, 21k. Summary: Senator Talia Hale is going to be the first werewolf president. She is also his mother’s best friend, who’s in desperate need of a friendly mage to help her break the curse on her children. Stiles likes a challenge - and the free vacation in DC for his parents.

Step into the daylight (and let it go), Sterek. M, 14k. Summary: Stiles is a grad student with serious insomnia. So when he sees a stranger in need of help, he thinks it’ll be a good way to alleviate the boredom. How the hell was he supposed to know that the weird guy with the baseball cap was a famous actor (and a fucking werewolf)? He just keeps running into the guy. Coincidence? Stiles thinks not.

Did I mention (that I’m in love with you), Sterek. T, 8k. Summary: Stiles is pretty sure that Derek Hale hates him, judging by the way he disappears from the room the second Stiles enters. Derek is pretty sure that the entire world knows about his crush on Stiles Stilinski, and that’s why he has to avoid him. For once the werewolf thing isn’t even his biggest secret.

Everything mixed up (and baked in a beautiful pie), Sterek. T, 42k (6/6). Summary: Stiles’ friends are more of a pain in the ass than usual around the holiday season. Just because he spends all of his time at his bakery, doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. So hiring a fake boyfriend seems like the perfect, simple solution. Instead Stiles stumbles onto a stupid quest to make Derek Hale happy. But surely that will all work out in time.

Honorable mention: (Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed, Sterek. M, 96k (9/9). Summary: First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

Top 5 underappreciated fics

In this garden there’s no feeling, Travis Konecny x Nolan Patrick (1119). M, 55k. Summary: Nolan Patrick is a heartless, stone cold son of a bitch, and everyone knows it. Travis Konecny knows it too. He just doesn’t seem to care that the team witch is incapable of having feelings. Except when Travis touches Nolan, there’s a curious warmth, and everything that Nolan was sure he knew puts him and his newly rosy cheeks on very thin ice.

you try on callin’ me baby like trying on clothes, Jonathan Toews x Patrick Kane (1988). T, 4k. Summary: In the heat of the moment, in the midst of a game or a celebration, sometimes the words just slip out. Sure, Patrick totally gets that. But he’s pretty sure that Jonny has no clue he’s been calling him baby in various hockey-related moments. Though, how can he not know? How can Sharpy have noticed before Jonny did? He's going to get so much shit for this the second Kaner dares to confront him about it.

Time may change me (but I can’t trace time), Sterek. T, 9k. Summary: Stiles doesn’t like calling himself a mad scientist, but if the shoe fits… And when his latest experiment has some interesting side-effects, he has to re-evaluate some things. Mostly about how to stop acting like a child and be a better husband. Preferably before the adoption stuff pans out.

You were raised by wolves and voices (every night I hear them howling), Sterek. T, 11k. Summary: A sheltered boy with a reputation for telling tall tales, desperate to see the world and find out what monsters are real. A lone Wolf, ostracized from society as he takes contracts to kill the things that go bump in the night. A Mad Wolf, a Dark Druid, and destiny.

On the creature scratches (it doesn’t know how to get out), Sterek. T, 3k. Summary: The world ended seven years ago, and Stiles has spent seven days on the surface trying to track down a girl who is never going to be the love of his life. But is he actually as unloved as he seems to think he is? (Love and Monsters AU)

[allkinds-oftrash]

Ya girl is watching the latest HSM series ep and Imma live blog it hshshs and will add my reactions under the cut so it doesn't end up a long post. Anyways, let's goo:

AHHHH THE MORNING SHOW WITH GINA AND EJ WE LOVE TO SEE IT

They really said we're gonna let life imitate art with Nini and Olivia huh

Ricky was SUPPORTIVE??? Damnn I really thought we gonna get a classic Ricky tantrum....

But also wow sir that sounds salty and should definitely talk to someone abt how you're feeling...A therapist maybe 👀

I know we needed to contextualise how Ricky felt abt the song but I really wanted to see Nini's interview in full!!

Sebby you're so cute I do wanna see yall do DEH

Shjshshs not the rights not being available for another 5 years 😭😭

I dunno how they're in great shape and closer to the Menkies Gold after not having a single proper rehearsal, but go off Miss Jenn

Omg honestly Kourt's costumes are always amazing and on point Imma excited to see it

Kourt is such a simp we love to see it

Carlos is so pissy this episode we love to see it shshhs

Also love the way Seb calms him down and keeps him nice it's such a funny dynamic

"We had 20 people make our Belle dress over 50 hours" Okay North High shut the fuck up

I'm calling it now the reason North High knows so much is cos Howie is the leak and Kourt has been unwittingly telling him. The way her phone keeps going off as they discuss how North High knows everything is really good foreshadowing if my prediction is right

Also like her phone went off just as Carlos said "How did they know that?" THAT'S PEAK FORESHADOWING

If Howie ain't in North High, I dunno what Tim is doing

GSJAGSHAH KOURTNEY MAKING ABS FOR EJ I CANNOT

"I have abs" We know sweetie

"I PADDED THE THUSH FOR YOU" "AWW THANKS KOURT I NEEDED THAT" THIS INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! I love that it is now canon that EJ has abs but no butt love that for him

Okay but like damn these costumes are great!! North High can fuck right off with its high end ones I just wanna see lowkey homemade costumes by students; I'd watch a Broadway show if I wanted to see professional costumes okay

Damn Carlos has killer eyesight clocking in that mask in the trunk

GINA BBY DON'T SAY THAT AND HAHSGSH NINI NUDGING HER WAS SO FUNNY

Nini's little look over at Gina was like "Omg you guys my girlfriend is so cute and dumb" GINI STANS HOW WE FEELING?

Miss Jenn don't be that naive, your boyfriend probably put them up to it

That Insta page is prophetic with their timing tbh; all the info is a leak obviously looking at your Howie but like the timing of it all. Those kiddos don't know that they are discussing the stolen mask at this exact moment (Kourt has put down her phone after Carlos snapped at her so Howie doesn't know they are talking abt it rn)

"We don't dance with the enemy" *cuts to her dancing with Zackey later*

SEBBY WEARING THE TEACUP COSTUME OMG HE'S GOING MAKE SUCH A CUTE CHIP (yes I am still mad Seb/Joe was robbed but Imma fangirl over the costume anyway)

Wtf why does North High look so expensive - they are literally in the same district as East High right??? How did they get this much funding

North High is a very artsy and rich for a public school; they should have had Nini go here instead of YAC tbh (like this campus feels like what YAC should have been) NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING STORYLINE

Seblos' dynamic IS ON POINT THIS EP I really love my bois so much and their back and forth is hilarious

Shhshs DIANE who loves volleyball and North High okay I totally believe it

WHY ARE RED AND ASHLYN SO KINKY EVERY DAMN EPISODE TIM THESE ARE UNDERAGED CHARACTERS STOP IT

Shshsh we love Gina knowing herself and practicing self control by volunteering to be the lookout

Omg yall listen to Carlos and stfu they are so lucky no one saw or heard them yelling Wildcats

Oh no no no no no Miss Jenn you gonna get sucked in; this is gonna be so messy

Omg I saw someone post about this scene before I watched the ep YALL ARE RIGHT THAT BOI HITTING ON GINA IS SO FINE Babes go for that one, not EJ

NOT THEM FAKE DATING UGH E W TIM STOP MAKING ROMANTIC PORTWELL A T H I N G I honestly do not understand how some of yall can ship it romantically knowing Sofia is a whole underaged babey and Matty is a whole ass grown man - like I get the appeal of the Wonderstudies getting together and they do have chemistry but the irl age gap is creepy and outweighs the appeal of shipping them romantically

As I always say; Portwell/Wonderstudies should be a BROTP not an OTP

Ugh Brotp Portwell would have clocked Lily right away; romantic Portwell making googly eyes at each other isn't helping anyone

Living for Nini getting the recognition she deserves - I really like her solo arc this season she's so much more interesting without Ricky tbh

Aww Kourt you simp I love her and I'm so happy she's happy I wanna be wrong about Howie being a North High kid

Where is the mask??

OHMYGOD THESE KIDS COMING IN LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Lily really wishes she was Jesse St. James huh; you could never Lily so stop

Andrew Barth Feldman and his cute little French accent I love him so much

Hnng Miss Jenn gonna get manipulated by this hoe. Omg wowow Zackey really is a hoe, making out with another girl before the show THE AUDACITY OF HIM SAYING MISS JENN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I WILL THROW HANDS WITH THIS MOFO

Wait the kids didn't steal it BUT WHAT IF ZACKEY DID

Ssjsgfajhdfg I CANNOT WITH ANDREW'S ACCENT but I can't tell if its really bad or really good but I'm also confused why didn't they just cast a French person as Antonie shshhs Antoine is adorableee and a little shit the best type of character

Lily is so annoying b y e sis bye and Olivia Keegan is talented I just wish they didn't make her character such a cartoony villain type

"How about if we bop to the top" SEBBY I LOVE YOU AND NEVER STOP BEING SO CUTE I SWEAR and Awww Carlos called him Honey I am s o f t

Hnng why do these fools are really gonna give into North High calling them chickens

OHHH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ASHLYN FUCK A DANCE OFF I AM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 16 YEAR OLD

"She told us not to dance with the enemy. She's better than this" No Sebby, she's not *cuts to her dancing with Zackey* AND OMG THE WAY I SAW THIS EDIT COMING BEFORE IT CAME

Ooooh I like this song wayyy more whatever the mess The Mob Song became (when I first heard it drop on Spotify yesterday) Around You is such a great song musically and lyrically very relevant to these two and gosh I love their voices together

They have so much chemistry damn, go home Mike (well he technically has oop) and Mr. Mazzara

YES YOU DO MISS JENN YOU ALWAYS HAD IT

Oh god this is the scene from the trailer; she's gonna make a move on Ricky isn't she?? Leave him alone Lily he doesn't need a 3rd girl to be confused about he needs a therapist

Lily shut the fuck up with quasi; STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUASI HAPPEN

"I love Nini's song" Sure, Jan.

...Okay yes you should have called him out but don't bait him LIKE THAT oop there's the scene from the trailer

Ohmygod is Andrew Barth Feldman gonna hit on Ashlyn

Okay this is so cute but also I am VERY annoyed with the way this show handles its characters like they aren't relevant or important unless they get into a relationship or a love triangle?? That's such a shitty way to give out screentime and arcs to characters. Is it not enough to develop the characters on their own and strengthen their friendship???

HUH TIM why you so obsessed with compulsory heterosexuality??(well also homosexuality for Seblos but they are the only ones I'm not annoyed with their relationship cos its a hella big step for Disney to have a gay couple and their relationship isn't in our faces or overshadows the plot and its just spinkles of cuteness every time they interact - they are honestly who Rini wishes they were; besties in love. They are a couple that Tim should be taking notes from; leave the relationship drama in the background, focus on the theatre and friendship aspect of everything)

My mini rant aside; this is a very adorable interaction between Ashlyn and Antoine.

"TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT COMPARISON I AM SCREAMING ANTOINE THAT'S SO FUNNY

This is so funny he keeps picking out the hottest guys of the group; as if he himself isn't the French version of Big Red they look super alike ngl shshsh

WHY YOU RUIN IT WITH THAT ANTOINE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

Drama between Antoine and Red is already spicing up shshsh I cannot

Why are you so dramatic with the shuffle Lily gtfo of here...also this doesn't make sense?? She wasn't even on a BATB playlist; what if a non BATB song came on ahahah

Good to know they aren't big fans of The Mob Song like I am Awww EJ you cutie, okay I will appreciate the OG Mob Song just for you

OH WAIT HE PROLLY LIKES IT COS ITS A GASTON LED SONG TIM GIMME THE EJ SOLO I DESERVE IN THIS NUMBER

I'm being robbed of Gaston for the last 7 eps I at least deserve an EJ solo for compensation

The way the set looks straight out of Broadway but also like omg the blue lighting and fancy stage gave me intense flashbacks to that Glee episode where Vocal Adrenaline sang Bohemian Rhapsody

RICKY STOP BEING SALTY AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

OMG THE SUBTITLES SAID ITS HOWIE SINGING AS THE BEAST I FUCKING CALLED IT

Howie you hoe you gonna break my girl Kourtney's heart

Yeah...still not a fan of Antoine's Dance Remix

Yall know Gina would kill the dance number if she wasn't wearing that fit

Okay but it's Gaston led song WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT EJ HAVE A SOLO IN THIS SONG??

First the Beasts led it (Howie sounded better than Ricky ngl), then the Lumieres (their voices worked hella well together; I always forget what a talented singer Frankie is THEY NEED TO GIVE HIM A SOLO SONG) and now the Belles are going at it (Ashlyn's voice is superior)

BIG RED BEING JEALOUS AND SALTY IS SO FUNNY ITS LIKE A PUPPY BEING ANGRY I CRI

...Did anyone really win, Lily??? STFU

CARLOS IS RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

Oooh I did see someone talk about this when the Rose Song dropped last week, apparently its illegal to add songs to a musical you're doing for a school play; I really thought the show would brush past that irl rule but I guess they are playing into it

THE WAY EVERYONE TURNED TO EJ FOR THE SPORTS METAPHOR I AM D Y I N G AND HIS FACE WAS GOLDEN! ITS LIKE THAT LISA SIMPSON MEME SHHSHSH

Okay Nini is being a little pissy about leaving her song out of the show and its a little selfish to wanna keep it at the risk of being disqualified but I also understand why she's hurt

Everyone is dog piling on her right now being against her idea and it feels like they are being against her song and her herself instead of them not wanting to be disqualified. Also like she poured her heart and soul into the song after Miss Jenn lowkey rushed her to write it. So I can see why this feels like a rejection of her and her song and why she's so hurt rather than her seeing the big picture right now

It doesn't help that Ricky said the final blow causing her to walk off

Okay maybe Zackey gets some rights for being chill and wanting the kids to be peers

THIS MOTHERFUCKER I KNEW HE WAS SHADY Also the way I gasped even though I predicted he stole the mask halfway through this ep shshsh

Stab him Miss Jenn STAB HIM

Bitch why you so threatened by East High if yall have such a Broadway-esque show planned??? They honestly should have stuck to the Little Mermaid; I really wanted to see the aquarium

"It's just a song Ricky" "A song can mean everything" Do you get deja vu? Anyone else getting intense flashbacks to Jan when DL first dropped and all the drama happened 👀

YES PLEASE STAY CO ANCHORS Gosh I love them so much esp once you take the romantic connotations out of their interactions

ROUGE GRAND I'M SCREAMING

I love this long take of checking in with everyone's relationship status (still hate how romantically focused this show has become but still a cool shot)

I K N E W IT I WAS RIGHT

Okay but like looking at Kourtney's face I have never wanted to be wrong so bad GOD I HATE IT HERE I really think he likes her and I hope they work it out

Nini setting up her own music acc feels like when Olivia rebranded her whole IG to be just for her music stuff - love this for both of them

AHHHHH SHE'S NINA NOW YALL

I know everyone loves her as Nini but like I have always loved the name Nina and it really suits her to be honest also shows how she's growing up now and kind of leans into the lyric "I won't be confined to your point of view" from The Rose Song because Nini is the nickname Ricky gave her so it shows that she's outgrowing him too and I love that for her!

Overall thoughts; they really crammed all the North High drama into one ep huh. Personally would have liked it if all of this was spread out throughout the last few episodes; like different hijinks for every episode. I'm just a big fan of properly setting up the overall arc over the season instead of patching it together closer to the climax/end of the show. Cos now it lowkey feels like two different seasons - 2A felt like The Rini/Rina Show esp with YAC storyline and whatever was going on with Rina and now 2B is finally feeling like what this season should have been all this time

[rakefired]

rakefire’s fic recs | July 2019

I haven’t produced anything lately, so I thought maybe I can rec some stuff I ‘discovered’ and enjoyed last month. I don’t know if fic review is still a thing, but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The ratings are either T or E, idk.

✨✨✨

Chef’s (Uns)Table by TheAlchemistsDaughter | Rated: T

A Solo Guide To Wooing Girls by Ayearandaday | Rated: T

and all i need is to be struck by your electric love by radioactivesaltghoul | Rated: T

keep me in your clouded mind by hi_raeth | Rated: T

i swear i hate you when you leave (but i like it anyway) by hi_raeth | Rated: T

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | Rated: E

Cupcake Wars by crossingwinter | Rated: E

Wanting by Minkel23  | Rated: E 

Full review:

(I said review, but this is actually a series of ‘i love this fic so much’ in different words.)

Chef’s (Uns)Table by TheAlchemistsDaughter | Rated: T

Kylo Ren is a high-powered chef with an explosive temper. Nevertheless, Rey likes him. To get him to come out of the kitchen, she and her friends try to wind him up. When someone asks for ketchup, it works a little too well.

I’m such a sucker for a hotheaded chef because of a Korean drama I watched a long time ago. And this fic is just *chef’s kiss*. I giggled the whole time. My favorite part is every time Kylo losing his shit. And he loses his shit a lot.

A Solo Guide To Wooing Girls by Ayearandaday | Rated: T

the Solo family and their weird ways to show affection.

Ben flirts and does all the wrong thing.

This fic is so adorable. Basically, Ben Solo’s flirting technique stops in when he was fourth grade and Rey just can’t be bothered (or is she really bothered by him? Hm?). Poe is Ben’s brother in this, and he fits in the Solo household so nicely.

and all i need is to be struck by your electric love by radioactivesaltghoul | Rated: T

Rey’s supposed to fake-break-up with her fake-boyfriend, but Ben’s been pissing her off more and more lately. What better way to irritate him by showering him in a public proposal that he has to say no to?

*inhales* L I S T E N

This fic has everything: Fake relationship. Dumbassery. Emotional constipation. Slow burn but not really (seriously, though. Even though this is a fairly short fic, the angst is everything). It’s got a happy and cliff-hanger ending which is totally worth it. So so funny.

keep me in your clouded mind by hi_raeth | Rated: T

Flu season has claimed its latest victim: Rey’s roommate, Ben Solo. But it’s fine. She’ll get him dressed, bring him to the hospital, and everything will be okay. Things are totally under control.

Except for the part where Ben has completely lost his verbal filter and keeps babbling about his feelings for her.

Okay. I'm very late to this fic. All I can say is, my face hurts from smiling while reading it. And I couldn’t stop thinking about the part where Ben says, “You should be my baby. And I’ll be yours.”

Eye—

i swear i hate you when you leave (but i like it anyway) by hi_raeth | Rated: T

Rey’s all about putting herself in other people’s shoes and empathy and being understanding, but Kylo Ren is The Actual Worst and no amount of empathy will ever change that. Seriously, fuck that guy. Also: literally, fuck that guy.

Or: five times Rey and Kylo have hate sex, and one time they do something... more.

Catching feelings? Rey and Ben? Pfft —

But seriously. I loved the intimacy displayed in this fic. 

There’s nothing wrong with explicit fics (I wrote one or two myself), but there’s something incredibly heart-warming when it’s being told this way. Anyway, I can’t wait to go through hi_raeth’s works.

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | Rated: E

Rey has never wanted nor needed a mate. So when it gets out that her new Pack Leader, Ben, is determined to claim her, she’s horrified to find that not only does she have to fend him off but all the strange alphas who come sniffing around. 

This is probably the first werewolf fic I’ve ever read? And I’m usually not into it (there’s nothing wrong with it). But I almost finished Soul Searching and I adore OptimisticBeth’s writing and characterization, so I just dived right in.

What I love about this fic is how delicate it is. I think that is expected since that’s also what I love about Soul Searching. 

If you find A/B/O relationship kinda off-putting due to power imbalance, etc., this fic might give you a different perspective, I think? Alpha Ben is so respectful of Omega Rey’s space, although in some situations he still makes his intention clear. And Rey is the one who has the upper hand in how their relationship progresses. I just love their dynamics.

Cupcake Wars by crossingwinter | Rated: E

Entirely by accident, Rey ends up fucking someone who works for Snoke's Cupcakery. She's just blowing off steam. It doesn't mean anything at all. It certainly won't come back to bite her in the ass.

I think crossingwinter is one of my early reylo fic writers (back when I didn’t have an ao3 account), and probably contributed in my introduction to A/B/O lol. (i want to wail (to the moon like a cat in heat) is still one of my faves.)

This fic is hilarious... and poignant, sorta? I love how real it feels. Yeah, I know, you might think, ‘well, of course it feels real! That’s the whole thing about fiction!’

But hey, look. This is what gets me attached to this fic: it feels like a story of ordinary people. And that *inhales* is *exhales* everything. The characters, their pain, their worries, their pettiness are so human.

Also, it doesn’t hurt that I can imagine Donald G and Joonas being Ben’s childhood besties, okay?

Wanting by Minkel23 | Rated: E

In one moment of weakness she gave him everything, and he’s been more than happy to take her meagre offering.

But him...

He’s always holding something back.

She tries not to let it bother her.

He said it himself, after all. They only have one night together. One night to fuck each other out of their systems. One night to quench this infernal wanting.

She’d be foolish to expect anything more.

Angst? Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst.

And it’s beautifully written. And yeah, angst.

I wish I could say something else, but angst is really the core of this fic. And Minkel23, as always, is one of the best writers in that department. 

In this story, Ben and Rey are tiptoeing around their own feelings toward each others. They end up hurting each other a lot. Like I said, angst.

Also, ruthless Leia is ruthless.

✨✨✨

I didn’t read a lot last month and I might miss some titles for this list, but I’m trying to get more fics this time and be more organized. 💕

[whenwenjunhui-blog]

Can You Feel It? (pt 1/2) [M]

Summary: Yeo One is your true enemy. He tries to take over your student council duties daily. He’s always flaunting his popularity. He always has something smart ass to say to you or about you. So what happens when you find him tied up in the classroom after hours? You can do anything to him that you want. Revenge might feel great, but who would have the last word?

Warnings: Bondage, orgasm denial, various kinks, exhibitionism, all sorts of lechery. It’s all in good fun, though.

Note: Extremely dirty. I would like to apologize for writing this in advance. OTL Read at your own risk. I know Changgu would never be a jerk like this but wouldn’t it be fun if he was? Also, I know nothing about Student Council so I just made everything up! Hooray!

 As I walked into the classroom on Friday morning I saw the usual sight. Changgu hadn’t picked up the materials for today’s class and instead he was sitting at his desk with his friends surrounding him, talking animatedly and laughing. No doubt he was telling fantastic stories about his latest date.

I shoved my way through the throng of overly tall boys who were his friends. “Changgu, did you get the homeroom materials for today?”

Changgu sighed at having his story interrupted. He looked at me dismissively, straightening his tie. “Can’t you do it?”

“Why would I do it? It’s your job, not mine.”

“But I’m busy right now,” he said, having the nerve to give me his stupid aegyo face – the one with the big innocent eyes and puffy baby cheeks. “Can’t you do it?”

He always does this. He expects to get away with everything. He’s always shirking his duties as Vice President simply because he is hot and popular and everyone likes him. If he thinks the same childish act he uses on other girls will work on me, he can think again.

“I have to prepare for the student council meeting. I have things to do right now. So you go do it. Also, I need the agenda for today’s Student Council meeting,” I said, sticking my hand out.

He’d better have done it or I swear to God. The school festival starts next week and I have too many things to do. Not to mention my own VP will be no help at all.

“Uh….” He said, scratching his ear and looking around guiltily.

All his friends began to snicker, knowing that he hadn’t done it and that I would get angry, as I always did.

“Did you not do it? Again?!” I cried. “How hard is it, Changgu?”

“I just got busy last night. I had a date with a very hot girl. I mean you should have seen her. I was just in the middle of telling everyone about it, but then you ruined it,” he told me, frowning dramatically.

“How can you say something like that with a straight face?” I questioned.

“Come on, you’re a straight A student, it’s nothing for you to write up the agenda right quick,” said E Dawn. “Right?”

I stared at him so coldly it made him visibly wither. I pointed a finger to Changgu. “This jerk right here is a straight A student too! And even if he wasn’t, he should do the things he’s responsible for, right?”

Everyone began to sigh and go back to their seats, complaining that I killed the fun and ruined their joy, calling me a killjoy and a warden. Changgu fake coughed into his hand while saying the word “Buzzkill!”

I sighed and put my hands on my hips, waiting, but Changgu still didn’t get up to get the supplies. He just made himself comfy in his seat, stretching out his long legs and then popping some fruit-flavored gum into his mouth. He chewed it loudly while playing with his floppy black hair. All the while I stood there, eyes burning with hatred.

“Seriously, Jia, if you stick with this uptight routine of yours, you’re not gonna have any friends,” he said, casually.

My fists clenched at my side. I wanted to say something but I was furious beyond words. I just let out a tortured scream and left the room. 

I stomped down the hall to the teacher’s lounge to find out what materials were on the list for the day. Then I gathered those from the office. The list was huge, but I just wanted to get it done so I lifted the giant stack of books and handouts and scurried back to the classroom.

I was almost through the door when I tripped on my own shoelace and found myself going down. “Whoa,” I blurted out, trying to shift the weight in my arms to correct my balance, but it was too late. “Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa!” I cried, as I fell and everything went sliding across the floor. Including me. The room erupted in laughter.

Thankfully a few of my friends ran over to help me. As I got to my feet I spied Changgu, hiding behind his hands, laughing.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he shut up, glancing away.

“Are you okay?” asked my friend, Chanyeol, who had easily helped me to my feet and was now brushing me off and checking me over for injury.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You need to be more careful. Next time you need to carry this much stuff just come get me, okay?”

“Okay.”

He started to pick up the books. “I’ll hand these out for you. You just sit.”

“Thanks oppa,” I said.

I heard a little scoff and I glanced over to see Changgu sneering in our direction.

I flipped him off and went to my seat to sit and mentally strike the past 5 minutes from my memory forever.

Later that morning I was in the student council office waiting for the others to arrive. All the junior officers filed in a bit early, and as the time came to start the meeting, only Changgu was missing.

“Should we start?” asked the Secretary.

I sighed and tapped my foot, my arms crossed over my chest. “Yes. Let’s just start anyway,” I said. “As you all know, the festival starts next week and in keeping with the season we’ll be having a Halloween theme –“

“Check out my costume!” bellowed Changgu, as he came running into the room. He didn’t even care that I was speaking or that he was late. He was holding up his costume. “I’m gonna be a pirate!”

“No way! That is so cool!” our Treasurer cried. Everyone else leaped up and gathered around Changgu praising his costume, calling it sexy. “Where did you get it?” they asked.

“Heein from the drama club made it for me. She’s great with sewing.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course Heein volunteered to hand sew a whole costume for him. When does Yeo Changgu not get his ass kissed?

Yet the members chattered on excitedly.

“I know! That is so cool! Her work is amazing. I saw it in the school play. She made these french renaissance ball gowns that were incredible! This material is fantastic!” On and on they went.

They then moved on to discussing their own costumes and all of them were chattering about the haunted house when I finally lost patience and banged the gavel extra loud like six times in a row making everyone jump and stare at me with edgy wide-eyed looks.

“Order! Order! This meeting has come to order here!” I cried wildly. “What is wrong with you people? This is not free period! Pull it together for gods sake!”

“Okay okay!” people began to say, scurrying to their seats.

“Please take your seat, Vice President YEO?” I seethed, narrowing my eyes at him and pointing to the vacant seat at my side.

Changgu strolled over and sat, turning in his seat to air kiss at me.

I frowned and shuddered in revulsion. He just laughed and blew bubbles with his gum. Then he propped his feet up on the nearby empty chair.

It was a nightmare. He was so horrible, yet I couldn’t even call him stupid since aside from his aforementioned wonderful grades, he wrote witty and entertaining essays for the school paper weekly, and had beaten me on the college entrance exams just two weeks prior. He was 5 points higher than me, which he never failed to mention. Everything he actually cared about doing he was great at. His Student Council duties just didn’t seem to make the cut.

“As I was saying. The festival – “

“Is gonna be lit!” Changgu crowed, causing everyone to cheer and begin to chatter again.

I sighed and just sat there rubbing my forehead as Changgu proceeded to preside over the meeting however he saw fit. He was making all sorts of plans that were stupid and that we didn’t even have the money for, but he wouldn’t know that because he never checked the budget like he was supposed to.

I just sat there rubbing my nose and praying to every deity that might possibly exist for the strength to resist killing him.

Finally, someone remembered I was there. “So, who is going to oversee the organizing of the booths?” the Secretary asked me.

“That is VP Yeo’s job,” I said.

“Yeah, but about that. I don’t really want to – “ he began.

I turned my head to glare at him; my eyes were like two burning coals. “Just do it!” I growled.

“But why?”

“Because I said so.”

“But I would rather just -”

“I don’t care what you would rather do! Just do what I tell you to do! Do it! Why? Because I am the President and I’m telling you to do it!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Everyone fell silent, staring at me like I was some kind of heinous sea monster.

“Fine,” Changgu said, frowning. He sat there with his shoulders low, moping and nibbling on his fingernails.

I couldn’t stand it anymore and just banged the gavel. “Meeting adjourned,” I said.

Changgu got up in a huff and slunk his way out of the room. Everybody else followed, quiet, but shooting me accusing looks.

I tried to just put it all behind me and focus on the things I had to do, but after I packed up and left the room I saw a group of Student Council members in the hallway gathered by the stairs talking. I heard my name come up and as I got near them I heard them badmouthing me.

“She’s so mean.”

“She didn’t have to yell at him. That’s so embarrassing.”

“I know, right? Poor Changgu. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Changgu is so nice. He’s like so sweet.”

“I know right? He is a total sweetheart. How could she yell at him like that?”

“She probably also kicks puppies.”

“She probably kicks lots of puppies. She looks like a puppy kicker.”

“I wish Changgu was President instead of her.”

“Me too.”

“Me three. I didn’t even vote for her. She’s evil.”

“She’s always trying to show off. It’s like ‘okay, you’re smart, we get it.’”

“Right. There’s more to life than knowing everything.”

One of them saw me walking past and they all dropped their voices and carried on walking, eventually turning down another hall while still shooting me accusing looks until they finally disappeared.

Unbelievable! He has managed to turn everyone in the Student Council against me. The Student Council was mine! They should be my friends, not his! They don’t even know half the stuff this guy does to me, and yet I’m the one they hate? It’s so unfair!

Ugh. I’ll get you for this, Yeo Changgu. I will! If it’s the last thing I ever do!

The most wretched day of my existence had finally wound down to a close and I was looking forward to just going home, after spending some time helping teachers and tutoring some younger students after school in Math. As I left my locker, I saw Pentagon gathering in the hall looking sneaky and giggling. Well, Pentagon minus one douchebag. Then I heard Yeo One yelling from down the hall.

“Yah! What is this?! Guys? Guys, this is not funny! Come back here! You let me out of this! This is not funny! Yah, I don’t have time for this, I have a date later!”

Pentagon just laughed and laughed, then turned to leave.

I cleared my throat alerting them to my presence before they could pass me. “What happened back there?” I asked, nodding towards where Changgu could still be heard mumbling threats.

“Oh Changgu was taking a nap on the desk in the student council office so I tied him up with my mummy costume,” E Dawn said.

I laughed and laughed, So did the rest of Pentagon.

“Do you think he’ll get free?” I asked.

E Dawn shook his head and snickered. “He can’t. I tied both his arms and legs pretty tight,” he said, then cackled with glee. “This is perfect payback for what he did to me last Wednesday. I still have rug burn from that,” he said, rubbing his arm with a frown.

“Guys, I don’t know. Shouldn’t we let him go?” asked Kino. “I’m starting to feel kind of bad now. Everyone’s gone home now. It’s getting creepy in here.”

“That just makes it even better,” giggled Jinho. “Let’s go get food and come back in like a couple hours?”

“Okay!” said Hongsoek “He’ll be really pissed by then.” 

With that, they all moved out, headed to get food.

I couldn’t believe they just left, but I was far too curious. I had to go see for myself, so I went down the hall to the Student Council office, where Yeo One had finally gone silent. 

When I opened the door, a beautiful sight met my eyes: there lay my enemy, tied up on the desk totally immoblized.

“Oh ho ho ho ho ho!” I squealed in rapturous delight. I got so excited I had to fan my face a little.

Changgu’s brow lowered and he glared at me. “You,” he growled.

“What have we here?” I mocked, sauntering into the room with a smug grin. “Look at you, all tied up and left on my desk like a big old present. All that’s missing is a bow.”

Changgu struggled in his bonds as I approached but he could not get free.

“Look who’s not so powerful now.”

I dropped my bag onto the floor and hopped onto the desk beside him, looking down at him with joy. I laughed. Then I laughed some more. Then I laughed some more.

“Yes, it’s funny. It’s so hilarious. Laugh it up all you like. But just do me a favor and untie me? Get me out of these ropes.”

“Do you a favor? Now why would I do that?” I asked, my eyes never leaving his. “When have you ever done me any favors?”

Changgu couldn’t seem to recall a single instance, but that didn’t stop him from whining and doing some bad aegyo. “Come on, don’t be like that? This desk is really hard. I’m so uncomfortable. Come on? Let me go? Have a heart?”

“Oh don’t you know? I’m the infamous puppy kicking killjoy, I don’t have a heart! There will be no favors for you today. In fact, this seems like a perfect opportunity for me.”

His head cocked to the side. “To do what?”

“Well, to exact my revenge, of course.”

He started looking around for an escape. “Uh…revenge for what?”

“For torturing me daily. You know, I never wanted you as my Vice President. You were voted in due to the popularity you bought with your pretty face and your parents’ money. And who had to suffer for it? Me. Now, it’s my time.”

Changgu went stiff, looking like he was finally catching on to what was about to happen to him.

“What’s wrong? Nervous?” I asked, leaning closer.

“Look, I know that I’ve taken my duties a little too lightly – “

“A little?”

“And I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you….”

“A bit?”

“Okay, a lot! But its only because….”

I waited.

He struggled for words.

I waited. 

I started to think he was going to say something unbelievable, like that he liked me or something. As he continued to struggle I leaned closer.

He still didn’t speak, he only chewed on his lower lip looking flustered. “It’s because….” He continued.

I leaned closer, eager now to hear why he’d made my life so unbearable these past months.

He frowned then pouted. “Because I really don’t like you,” he finally said with a devious little smirk. He then snorted a little as he tried to hold in his laughter.

I laughed heartily but rage bubbled up in my chest.

“You’re no fun at all. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” he giggled.

“Oh my. Okay,” I said, smoothing my hair. “Well, you really don’t know when to quit, do you? Fine. Okay. Let’s play, Changgu.”

Part two is nowhere near done yet but it will come eventually! Hope you enjoyed it so far

[namelessblacksheep]

LIFE IS JUST REALITY TV

To all the reality TV junkies, turn away now. You are not going to like this analogy and may end up hating yourself in the process.

I should start off with a disclaimer. I absolutely loathe reality TV. The fakery and nonsense of offering a platform to people who would struggle to get a job flipping burgers or sorting mail is just one reason.

The concept of sitting on your butt watching morons perform like monkeys and then deciding their fate is a bit lame. Especially when you could be out and about doing something more constructive with your own life.

Reality TV is very popular though. That I have to admit. It provides a vicarious escape or guilty pleasure for people who have given up the fight. It’s true. If it wasn’t, then the genre would no longer exist as there was no market for it and perhaps the world might be less broken.

I’m not about to start blaming reality TV participants or the watchers of such tripe for the ills of society. Hopefully, they will come to that conclusion themselves.

It is a cancer of epic proportions. It stops you from living out your dreams whilst you secretly hope to crush the spirit of the one trying to live theirs out for your entertainment.

‘Winners’ of such shows tend to end up either on another show or are found out for the vacuous imbecile they are.

More worrying is how reality programmes have become a way of life for some and they then start selling you shit that they wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. Even more troubling is that some have become famous or infamous just by being a ‘Reality Star’ - whatever the fuck that is.

The purpose of this article wasn’t to talk about how crass and stupid reality TV is though. If you haven’t figured that out for yourself, then feel free to plug back in. 

There are very clear similarities in what makes this approach to entertainment so appealing and how Western society is being run on a daily basis. The problem with this is that the powerful among society act out their roles and we lap up each day without question. We choose from the limited options they allow us to and then nail our flag to the least bad mast we can find.

Do we really need them?

I’m going to run through some of the repeat characters in the ongoing series of How Fucked Up The World Is. Previously on HFUTWI ...

Politicians

In their former lives, these people tended to be the most friendless and boring individuals you could ever hope to meet. They had a penchant for going to good schools and knowing something about policy matters.

Today, all these guys and gals do, is come up with reasons why something shouldn’t be done. They are more interested in whether they will retain their place on the show and constantly have to do dumb shit just to be relevant.

It’s not about representation of values and doing right by the country in the long term. It’s all short term these days and being noticed. Promising much and delivering little is the name of the game.

Some of these stooges get so much air time that you are almost apoplectic with rage that having such a prominent platform they don’t answer a single question asked of them. They have endless factoids of how shit their predecessor was but know nothing about how to resolve the current state of affairs.

For such short-termists, they seem either lost in the past or wistfully engaged in a future they will never be accountable for.

Whether they turn up or not, shit still gets done - a bit like those higher-ups in most workplaces. In fact, having big issues to tie them up, like Brexit in the UK, means they have less time to fuck stuff up. The economy starts to improve whilst their flagship project sinks like the Titanic.

Journalists

There was a time when reporting the news was a thing. Events happened and then we were informed about it by people who wanted us to be factually aware of what was happening in the world.

Now we have fake news and spin. Tell people what some lobby group wants us to know or think. Or tell the story that represents a more agenda-based narrative.

Even when the news is reported, how this is shared is often downplayed if it goes against the personal agenda of the media outlet reporting it. Or, hyperbolic click bait tragedy headlines are banded about even when there has been a 0.1% shift in some random number they want you to care about.

Whatever happened to the investigative journalism uncovering the truth? Now, they are bonafide marketing hacks giving free advertising to the establishment. They don’t care about the truth, us normal folks probably couldn’t handle it anyway.

Speculation, creating tomorrow’s headlines and reporting the latest ‘celebrity status’ offerings from high profile bellends on Twitter is not the news. They are basically entertainment facilitators and spin doctors.

We minions lap it up though, spread it around like Chlamydia and wonder why we keep getting more of the same shit.

Celebrities

This term now covers all manner of people. Basically, they should be rebranded as attention whores.

We have sports stars, musicians, TV ‘personalities’, influencers and some of the above who like to tell anyone who will listen to what they think. Like we give a fuck.

Being good at something and an expert on that subject is pretty awesome. That doesn’t automatically mean you are an expert on everything you speak about though, does it?

You could be a kick-ass brain surgeon, who could save my life in the event of a brain tumour. However, you’d be monumentally useless in sorting out my broken gearbox. Sure, you might have an opinion on it, and that’s your right, but don’t be offended if I ignore everything you have to say on the matter.

Celebrities have become false representatives of the people. Politicians messed up so badly in representing folk that they are now turning to visible people we ‘like’ and ‘follow’ to do their bidding. Fuck, even the journalists are now asking what they think about everything.

I long for the day when the celebrity star retorts: ‘dude, I’m as thick as soup and just hit balls about for money and chicks’.

The truth is, many of these people are now so heavily managed and marketed that their brand is basically to say whatever they are told to for an even bigger paycheck.

These people are the spawn of the Devil so worshipping them is tantamount to being a Satanist. Think about it.

Nation Reality TV

If you like being entertained, there are countless options available. We live in a golden age of television, connecting with people has never been easier and there are still good old hobbies that have stood the test of time.

Reality TV was an experiment to see how to engage the masses. In doing so, it became a quick-fire way to get into people’s lives with a format that works. Evolving the failing system as a way of keeping vested interests engaged with the people was a piece of piss. Find a few friendlies and get them to sell anything and everything like a Cocaine dealer giving out free hits.

Now the news you receive, the faces that deliver the messages and the way the world is run, is entirely within the reality TV format.

They create heroes and villains, get you to vote for them based upon their personality rather than their values. They give you unfettered access to them through carefully managed social media platforms and then if you missed it, cascade it as a news item.

It’s all a numbers game really. Take the most popular people, pay them whatever they ask and they will ‘influence’ their powerless followers and tribes to choose the current season’s winner. Sure it doesn’t always work out perfectly, but they stay relevant and in power and the rest of us think that we can only select from a limited option of crappy alternatives.

Perhaps if we all switched off and started living our lives then better alternatives would arise.

When it comes to politics you are asked to choose between different coloured apples. What if you want a banana or a pineapple?

The news is no longer relevant or true. It’s a storyboard of shifting agendas that play out like an episode of TV drama. Gone are the days where stuff happens and we hear about it, now these fuckers are the architects of tomorrow, seeking to give the story their biggest investors wish to see.

As for the egocentric attention whores who feel their voice is more important than the common folk that worship them - get back to the day job. If you’re good at something, go be good at it and save your views for chats with your buddies. Don’t abuse the platform you have been given for one thing and then start thinking you can use it for another. Instead take your time, money and voice and back a cause that way.

Reality TV sucks. Let’s not allow the world we live in to be run like one. Time to vote with your feet. Switch that shit off and stop letting it control you.

[doctorwhonews]

The Sound Of Drums

Latest Review: Series Three - Episode 12 - "The Sound Of Drums". STARRING: David Tennant , Freema Agyeman , John Barrowman,  WITH John Simm and Alexandra Moen  ALSO FEATURING: Adjoa Andoh, Trevor Laird, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Reggie Yates, Elize du Toit, Nichola McAuliffe, Nicholas Gecks,  Colin Stinton, Olivia Hill, Daniel Ming, Lachele Carl, Sharon Osbourne.  ALSO WITH VOICE WORK BY: Zoe Thorne, Gerard Logan, and Johnnie Lyne-Pirkis  WITH CAMEOS by McFly, and Ann Widdecombe.  --- Written By - Russell T Davies, Script Editor - Simon Winstone Directed By - Colin Teague Music - Murray Gold Produced By - Phil Collinson Executive Producers - Russell T. Davies + Julie Gardner Originally Transmitted 23rd June 2007, BBC 1 This middle component of the storyline that saw out the 2007 run of modern Doctor Who is a dynamic, compelling slice of action and political satire. As good as it had been to have the likes of Autons and Macra come back from days long gone, and especially welcome to see the Who staple monsters that are the Daleks and the Cybermen return with a vengeance, the show badly needed the most masterly of humanoid villains to keep the Doctor on his toes. --- John Simm's Master can be best likened to 'The Joker from Batman. He is utterly unhinged, and without remorse for the crimes he commits.  He actively enjoys causing chaos and misery. But such is this prolific performer's calibre of acting, the viewer cannot help but like him on some level. This is a quality inherent in all the more effective Masters – with other notable names being those of Delgado, Ainley, Jacobi (albeit mainly resting on the fake Yana persona), and Gomez. Of course I will acknowledge the pure villainous qualities of the 'decayed' Master that showed up in the Tom Baker era, and in places also in the 1996 TV Movie. To my mind though, the ideal variant has some level of dark charm, and humorous edginess. A great idea that makes this episode work, is putting the TARDIS crew firmly on the back foot. They do not even have their magic ship as a 'home base', and arrive late on the scene as the Master Plan has already unfolded to near finality. 'Harold Saxon' has become the British Prime Minister, and virtually the whole population are enthralled by his charisma and decidedly alternate style to politics. The manner in which he sweeps aside all dissenting voices in his Cabinet through the method of poisonous gas, and tapping his hand on the table to the 'Sound of Drums' is a fine scene. He even gives some warning to his victims, but in such a way that he is comically obtuse, thus catching some of the supposed smartest people in the land completely off-guard. It is hard to tell which is the more disturbing death in these 10 Downing Street sections: the prolonged suffocation of senior politicians by gas, or the way the Toclafane slice-and-dice Vivien Rook - a reporter rather too bold and determined for her own good.                                    "I'm taking control, Uncle Sam, starting with you. Kill him!" By contrast, the execution of the American President is played very much as black comedy. We have a boisterous and self-important world leader, and one perhaps looking down on Britain; no doubt due to the "ass" elected by the population. In this day and age, with such a controversial new president in charge this scene plays out on a different level. Even the very current affairs savvy Davies could not have anticipated this dimension his work would take. Having a wife by the Master's side is a neat spin on an antagonist that was normally a lone wolf. Whilst he may have temporary stooges to help him (and usually hypnotised ones at that), this is the first time it appears he has a stone cold lover to endorse his villainy. In the Colin Baker portion of the Classic Series, there were tentative alliances with The Rani and Glitz respectively. However, in Lucy the Master has someone who seems to love his unending ambition, ruthlessness and even his sadism. (But of course there are limits to what evil a spouse can put up with, and this is explored effectively in the concluding episode).                                                                                                                                 The telephone conversation scene gives both Simm and Tennant a chance to share screentime equally. When they finally meet in the same frame the effect is even more marked. When they finally meet in the same frame the effect is even more marked. However, whilst the Tenth Doctor swansong The End Of Time is inferior to this Series Three closer, it is ahead in terms of offering decent one-on-one material for two of Britain's most respected screen actors. The 'Toclafane' - a name from young Gallifreyan fairy tales – essentially act as the Master’s force of marauding assassins. But they are a pretty neat invention, in that they combine a distinct monster look with some semblance of a disturbingly imbalanced personality. Having multiple voices to breathe life into them is also a great production choice. The story behind who these creatures are is kept mysterious for now in this particular outing. If one were to be overly critical, they could be accused of looking somewhat like the confectionary Maltesers - especially when the pulsating Voodoo Child track plays out for a distinctly long stretch. Using a piece of popular chart music was a bold move by Davies and can perhaps be seen as risking dating the production. But taken as a suitably offbeat piece of rhythmical noise, that the Master would choose to celebrate his crowning moment with, it is more than appropriate. Also, this is one of the few moments in the show at the time when composer Murray Gold is not providing persistently stirring backing music to the onscreen drama.  Series Three did a serviceable job of giving the viewer a clan of relatives to make Martha’s attachment to Earth mean something, and managed to be both similar enough but also distinctly different from the dynamic that Rose Tyler had in terms of her original 'home'. Furthermore, some good groundwork was done in terms of exploring just why Martha eventually chose not to remain by the Doctor's side full time. Adjoa Andoh is probably the best performer out of this family group, and combines steely determination with a subtle sense of really caring for all those closest to her. She would justifiably return in Series Four's closing pair of episodes, as well. Trevor Laird is notably stronger in his acting, than the very tired and ineffectual henchman role that was part of 1986's Mindwarp. He makes for a devoted father figure, and shows some real bravery in helping the Doctor's party evade capture. Reggie Yates is the kind of casting choice that peppered the 1980s under John Nathan-Turner's watch, and is engaging enough. It is a rather generic brother role as Leo, however, and there is virtually no character development that the show normally pulled off so well by now. Also, for whatever reason, Yates barely features in this episode, and contributes even less in the following one. Martha's other sibling Tish, played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw is perhaps the best used recurring character in terms of the Saxon Arc itself, and is performed with conviction throughout. Much like Freema Agyeman, Mbatha-Raw has had a very fine career post-Doctor Who. Martha herself remains a solid companion, with Ageyman really selling the reveal that the Master is the most powerful man in the country. The response to the startling impact of her 'normal' world being so drastically changed is a strong core theme of this multiparter, and plays out with full effect in the ensuing Last Of The Time Lords. As this episode comes to its cliff-hanger ending, the viewer is utterly captivated as to how Dr Jones will cope without her near-immortal mentor. Like Rose she is capable and independent, but has usually needed some superior experience and incredible intellect from the Doctor to overcome the problem at hand. This particular challenge is mountainous to put it mildly. Captain Jack perhaps is just more along for the ride after some very good material in the preceding episode where he sought some kind of acknowledgement from the Doctor. Of course, he does helps with the escape back to present day Earth - conveyed in a frenetic flash back - and he also gets to do a (very deliberate) plug for his own spin off Torchwood. Otherwise he is arguably surplus to immediate story requirements, and also suffers yet another helpless 'death' - this time at the hands of the Master, and his upgraded sonic screwdriver. This disconcerting cycle of painful demise and lurching back to life in traumatic fashion has been echoed in more recent times in the Forever TV series. Whilst short-lived at just one season, that particular show had a lead character - Henry Morgan - that has some minor similarities with the Jack Harkness character. Pacing in this story is mostly good, and the episode packs a lot into its duration (which is slightly longer than the average of most episodes that year). The climax plays out for a good ten minutes, and thus is both truly riveting and furthers the long-running story concerning Harold Saxon, that first was glimpsed back in Love And Monsters. Most of the earlier sections are breathless chasing or exposition, with some detail on the Master's raison d'etre, and what he means to the Doctor. The whole thing could so easily be rushed, but in the hands of the dependable Colin Teague, it all comes together sufficiently well. One recurring plot point which was a little less welcome was the call-back to The Lazarus Experiment, which many still regard as the weakest story of the run of thirteen episodes. Having the Doctor rendered helpless was a good idea on paper, but the choice here is to make him look like an especially ancient-looking man. Whilst showcasing good make up it never really adds much to the overall story, and would lead to the regrettable 'Harry Potter' CGI imp the following week. Perhaps something different, which rendered our main man immobile and slow of wits, would have worked better.  Although much of the episode is focused on action, satire or re-establishing the Doctor-Master rivalry, the most moving and powerful portion concerns some exposition and visual display of Gallifrey and its orange skies. This is portrayed so much better on a respectable TV budget, compared to the closest precedent in the six-part 1970s serial The Invasion of Time. The narrated flashback makes use again of the poignant music Gold previously used in Utopia, and this backing track seems even more appropriate, as the key to the scene is making the viewer care for the Master through showing him in the form of a mere innocent child. Some mysterious and anonymous Time Lords also feature, with the scene notably breaking the ethnic onscreen barrier which for so long had been a minus point concerning the Doctors home world TV stories. --- SUMMARY : Whilst a little lacking in fully combining both fun adventure and true depth in terms of themes and moral lessons, this is still a good episode in a generally strong second full season for the Tenth Doctor. In comparison to the prior Utopia, it is a small step down in most respects, but many other stories would also struggle to compare favourably. Taken on its own merits, it is still a great watch, and has stood the test of time well. Back in mid-2007, the season finale was set up with a very dark and intriguing premise, and most regular viewers at the time were left desperate to see how it played out. http://reviews.doctorwhonews.net/2017/03/the_sound_of_drums.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[standingontheedgeinstilettos]

You Souhnd Lahk You’ah From Lahndahn!

Hey Friends,

New Year! New Housewives! New Drama!  And I have a new six month old baby which is why there is a fairly significant lapse in time between now and my last blog.  As usual, let’s move past that quickly.

Ah, Beverly Hills. The 90210.  Ladies, ladies, ladies.  I can’t recall how long it’s been since the Munchausen accusation heard ‘round the world and the subsequent arguments which ensued before our very eyes, but here we are again.  And it feels rather nostalgic, doesn’t it?  I mean we have Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle getting laser beauty treatments on TV while discussing the current state of their vaginas.  

You have your gratuitous Camille Grammar cameo, dropping square footage numbers left and right on her newly smaller Malibu mansion, with her lady-servant plating chicken on the bone.  And Lisa Rinna is still talking about her haircut and Harry Hamlin’s arms circa 1982.  

Oh, but there is newness too.  And newness comes in the form of a doe-eyed moron, whose real name I am quite sure is either Sarah or Jennifer, but we’ll call her “Dorit” if that’s what she needs.  If you’re reading this and you’re standing up, I’m going to need you to sit down.  Take a seat because I’m about to lay something on you so hard.  You guys, Dorit is SO FUCKING WORLDLY.  She has been to other countries.  I’ll give you a minute.  You good?  

So “Dorit” and her husband “PK” (name acronym for what I assume stands for “Pretentious Kook” or “PSugar KDaddy” or the like) are so worldly in fact, that even though “Dorit” is from Connecticut, she sports what may be the worst fake British accent we’ve ever had the misery of witnessing.  She makes Lindsay Lohan sound like Eliza Doolittle at the end of the movie.  She makes Madonna basically the fucking Queen Mother herself.  I’m waiting to see these two on an episode of “America’s Most Wanted” a la the Armstrongs at some point in the near future because I’m telling you right now something ain’t right in the buttermilk.

The only thing we viewers have going for us is that “Dorit” had no idea what she was up against.  She’s TV friends with Lisa Vanderpump so she thought she was safe.  She thought she could get away with just flitting about with her bizarre fake accent, air-kissing Kyle, having dinner parties with the 8 most interesting people in the world, or her world at least, and talking about how Boy George lives with her in every interview.  **If your claim to fame is that Boy George lives with you, I don’t know how to help**  But fortunately for us Erika Girardi resides on our show.  Erika Girardi, who has an accent all her own and is completely fluent in ‘Kunty,’ wasted absolutely zero time in calling out “Dorit” for being from Connecticut.  And thus there has begun a quiet war between them where every battle is to be won by Lieutenant Colonel Erika Jane/Girardi.

I am going to focus on “Dorit” vs Erika through the entire blog entry because I don’t think any of us care about anything else that is happening on this show.  Certainly not about Kyle and her fancy problems, or Lisa V with her TIRED double entendres (for Christ’s sake lady, know any other tricks??) nor Lisa Rinna and her Home Shopping Network grey duster.  

I want, nay- I NEED to start with “PantyGate.”  If you know me even just a little bit, you know that I never wear underwear.  It’s a personal choice.  I have no time for it, I don’t like how it feels, I don’t like lines in clothes, I just don’t like any of it at all.  So when Erika did not wear underwear beneath her designer dress, I empathized.  I mean, look what happened with Kyle.  You could see nearly every inch of her Spanx.  That is a fashion faux pas of the worst kind, and really should have been blamed for this whole incident because had Kyle chosen the correct form of underwear, or no underwear at all, Lisa V wouldn’t have playfully asked Erika to give Kyle her underwear and Erika would never have been forced to tell everyone she wasn’t wearing any so Lisa would cease lifting her skirt at the table. And really, now that I type this, it’s Lisa V’s insistence on shoving her nefarious nature down all of our throats which led us to this moment.  The woman will do anything for a sexual innuendo and to start some shit.

So Erika says she’s not wearing any underwear, as she sits legs together, napkin over legs.  Cut to “Perverted Knucklehead” chuckling coyly while sitting next to his wife, and then leaning over somewhat trying to get a better look! OMG.  OMG, hell no.  Helllllllll no.  I don’t know exactly the proper way for a husband to react to being told the woman sitting across from him isn’t wearing underwear, but that was definitely not it.  I’m trying to think of what my husband would have done.  Run away probably, but he’s afraid of all women who aren’t me so he’s a bad example.  Perhaps jokingly ask to switch seats with “Dorit” so you’re not directly across from Erika? Make a big, “WOAH!  Didn’t need to know that haha, can I get another gin and tonic over here??” awkward joke and move on WITHOUT TRYING TO SEE HER VAGINA FURTHER??

If you haven’t been watching, and you guessed that he kept trying to see what Erika Jane is always slapping in her music videos, you win.

A wise man would never mention this again to his wife.  And if she brought it up, a wise man would say, “I did not, would not look at your new friend’s lady bits at cocktail hour, now pass the peas please.”  But a wise man “Punchy Kookoo” is not.  He’s in the kitchen with “Dorit” and not only admits to looking for/at Erika’s box-o-secrets, but that he REALLY ENJOYED IT and COULD NOT STOP.

In the kitchen he said this. Where the knives are kept.  And “Dorit” is all, “I mean, he’s a man for Pete’s sake, who can blame him??”  And that’s how I know “P Kiddy” is paying this broad a LOT of money to say she’s his wife.

Cut to “Dorit” telling every housewife in history how Erika forced her husband to look up her skirt. She called Quinn and Lydia from Orange County.  She dialed up Adrienne Maloof and left a voicemail.  She drafted a telegram for Jill Zarin.  She sent a Messenger Pigeon to Taylor Armstrong in Aspen, but poor little guy unfortunately chose suicide by flight-into-jet-engine over having anything to do with this lame-ass scandal.

Now alllllll the ‘wives are talking about “PantyGate.”  “Dorit” decides to go as far to manufacture drama, thereby securing her spot on the show since they clearly need the money, as to buy Erika a pair of panties to present at the next event where everyone is there to witness the gifting.  So when they all meet up to do some human puzzle activity, “Dorit” makes a prettttttttty big deal about Erika’s vagina, how everyone saw it, and how she may be best served in covering it up going forward.  It made her husband “Pussy Krazed” super uncomfortable when he was trying really hard to stare at it.

I always say I would be the literal worst on this show.  It’s because I don’t care about any of this shit.  If this crazy lady with her accent made of a thousand accents came at me with that shit, I would be like, “Umm, that’s your incredibly embarrassing problem.” But maybe I actually would be good on this show, because that’s basically exactly what Erika said.  It was awesome. And “Dorit,” God bless her, as she does with everything else in her life- she tried SO HARD.  She really wanted this to be a scandal.  But it just wasn’t.  It was like this: Erika didn’t wear underwear, and “Dorit”’s husband thought that was awesome, tried to see up her skirt, told his wife he couldn’t help but look because it was freaking amazing and “Dorit” blamed Erika for her husband being disgusting.  And it was all so painfully transparent.  So much so that Erika was just like, “Gross, ok.”

Cut to Tuesday night’s dinner party at “Dorit” and “Practically Kitschy”s home where the most interesting people in the world gathered to talk about “The Haves and The Have-Nots” and who really killed JFK.  Dorit wore the world’s shortest red dress and made a point to show her desperation by telling her husband to tell her she looked hot and that, unlike Erika, she was wearing underwear.  Barf, lady. Lisa RInna somehow got invited, which I’m sure ultimately made her feel more punished than honored.  She was given a severe tongue-lashing by “Pernicious Knave” about last season’s fight she had with his dear, fake friend Lisa Vanderpump.  Lisa RInna tried to explain she’s turned over a new leaf and feels differently about life now that she knows people die.  She brought up how Eileen has lost so many people including her mother right before last season’s reunion which Eileen did not tell anyone about as to not garner fake-sympathy that could somehow be used against her.

This did not please “Pro Knickers.”  Not one bit.

“That is unfair!” he spat. “Those women deserved to know that your mother had just died!”

“Oy!” exclaimed “Dorit.” “I complete-lah agrah wit you-ah one hooondred percahnt!”

Eileen finds out about this peculiar stance against her choice to keep her mother’s death on an I-want-you-to-know basis and confronts “Dorit” about it at a one on one meeting between the two of them that I thought was going to take place with each in their own convertibles parked next to each other but ultimately moved to a random picnic table.

“All the other tables get picnics, and I get this?  I wish I could fly into a jet engine.” – Picnic Table

Eileen explains rather clearly the conversation that took place between “Dorit,” “Party Killer” and Lisa Rinna and why it bothers her that they would pass judgement on how she or anyone deals with the loss of a loved one.  And then “Dorit”s just like, “Whaht?  I litahrally have absoloooootily no idir whaht you ah toolking aboot…..”

WTF is this chick on? Seriously, what is it?  Is it some hybrid of Valium and Molly?  Is she the love child of vodka and lithium?  Because if she’s not on anything she is the worst, weirdest liar ever.

We end the latest episode with a bizarre (I know I keep using that word but it is consistently the most appropriate adjective) conversation wherein “Dorit” calls 45 year old Erika a “young girl,” asks how albums are made (isn’t “Poopy Kaka” a music manager or record producer or something?) and tells Eileen to basically “bugga ooff!”

Meanwhile, a sullen Camille Grammer quietly forks around her bone-in chicken breast wondering where she went so wrong.

  �ȣR �