#beth u are quite simply

[rory-multifandom-mess]

TOTAL DRAMA OC POSTING NO WAAAY Hello this is Chip he is a dumb little scrungle i came up with because i thought i’d be funny if someone with the name of chip was there when Lindsay called Chris “Chip” and got confused. Info dump on him is under the cut cos I feel like it lmaoo

- Was in Total Drama Island and Total Drama World Tour - Became friends with Cody and Noah (because they need more recognition (especially Cody)), and in extension, Owen  - He was like… the chill one of the two - y’know like that one meme  - Noah = No energy, Cody = Too much energy, Chip = Calm energy  - He’d probably get kicked off the show through a loophole/just because Chris said so (example: DJ in Island and Action [kicked off because he got scared without chef even being there in Island, literally quit in Action because he didn’t wanna lie anymore] - Was the only one actively trying to get Noah to play in a kind manner cos he knew he’d get voted off if they lost - He failed obv - Probably would get kicked off some time after Cody in S1 (probably after Beth) - As I said before, he’d always get confused whenever Lindsay would say “Chip” instead of “Chris” - Heather attempted to get him to join the alliance, but he immediately denied her - Everyone at first pegged him for the athletic type but hey were, in fact, wrong LMAO - In World Tour, he was in Team Amazon along with Cody. They’re the only two guys in the team - He’d get kicked off before Sierra was technically booted - Sierra never really liked him because Cody payed more attention to him than he did her (i think that’s one of the reasons why she didn’t like Gwen ether) - After Gwen got kicked, Sierra’s hate focus was on Chip, which highkey scared him - He was to Cody how Noah was to Owen (telling Cody to get Sierra to go away no matter what cos she was crazy (Noah did the same with Owen and Izzy)) - He never actually sang when it was a big group of them singing. instead he just mouthed the words to convince Chris that he was actually singing - that i think is how he got kicked; Chris found out he’s been pretending and was like “u sly bitch. leave” KSHDKB - Had a good singing voice, but much like Cody, he was shy to sing (obv his singing isn’t NEARLY as good as Cody’s)

(ok enough with just show things, personality stuff time KSJDKBS) - Like I said before, he’s a chill and easygoing guy, easy to get along with - Wasn’t really looking to get into a relationship (understandable considering all the other relationships in the show the only healthy one in S1-S3 was Lindsay + Tyler) - Really wanted to talk to DJ (cos this guy had/has a crush) more but 1. opposite teams and 2. he was simply Shy - Probably talks to DJ outside of the show more and obv hangs out with Cody, Noah, and Owen - Despite Heather and Courtney getting on his nerves often, he’d still treat them with dignity and respect even if it wasn’t given back to him - Would probably lose his mind if he lost his hair tie (luckily LeShawna always helped him out if he did lose it LMAO) - Wasn’t affected by Justin/Alejandro’s “hotness” - Shorter than Noah, but taller than Cody probably (idk their heights give me a break) - Questioning his sexuality tbh. He’s had crushes before but he’s never felt horny™️ which kinda concerns him because he’s 16 where are my primal instincts to Get Bitches wtf (most likely Biromantic Asexual) - The only thing he and Sierra could agree on probably is being upset with Gwen when she Gotted herself with Cody’s epipen in World Tour cos he was worried Cody would go into anaphylactic shock and DIE - knows a surprising amount of medical stuff - Wants to be a doctor - If he had won the million (or however much was on stake during TDWT), he would’ve used it to pay for his college and, if he had any left, help any of his friends pay for theirs as much as he could - Has a little brother (who he’s very protective over) and a cat  - Mom and Dad are divorced, lives with his Mom - probably one of the only first gen cast to not be from Canada (except for Alejandro and Courtney) - He’s from off brand Canada (Michigan (more specifically the lower peninsula) - Sometimes when he’d say “sorry” one of the other contestants who have that slight accent would be like “why tf u say it like that” and he’d be like “-._-. BOI-“ KSHJDBS

is he cringe? maybe. do i love him? yes

[uzurakis]

for ur ask game, 43 & 44 !! i love your works btw 💖

43. favo piece of clothing

anything white and black, or grey. just any neutral tones whether its short sleeved or long. though i really like wearing ripped jeans and oversized short collared fits on a daily basis, or a corporate ootd, idk man my style is quite diverse lmao. i’m also a fan of.. shoes! from high converse, vans to heels and wedges, don’t forget the flatshoes, and crocs. like.. you can simply conclude that i wear just everything 😭

44. favo tv show

the queens gambit. not a fan of tv shows at all, i don’t know what to watch and i don’t have the energy to search for the good ones (i easily drop a series if its not interesting by the first 5 seconds, happened so many times). but this one.. the only one that made me grabbed my seat and munching on every episode and details. we love u beth harmon

[mashtonasfuck]

beth has her own post bc of course she does

(and I like making her cry 😌✌🏼) [ @pxrxmoore ]

where do I even start? you are, quite simply, my best friend. I genuinely have no idea wtf I'd do without you. somehow we’ve managed to squeeze in loads of adventures, even in a year where we’ve had to change almost every single one of our plans. 

to say we only met irl over a year ago, we have done so many things (and I've seen you more than I've seen any of my other ‘home friends’)

we went to Bristol in jan and mooched around

we got tattoos in feb

we saw Halsey in march before the world shut down and you held me as I sobbed my heart out to 100 letters 😌✌🏼

we facetimed for about 14 hours the day before CALM was released when you got your CD early so you wouldn’t listen to it before I did

we made a ridiculous zoo on zoo tycoon

we celebrated ur bday over ft 

you saw the beginnings of my island in ac (and somehow urs is better than mine in less time smh)

we played some weird online escape room games

we cried over 5sos voice notes

we met up for a socially-distanced, sat-in-cars waga’s

we both had Hamilton phases independent of one another

we created 🤡 club

we went to the beach and had chips and ice cream

we almost had panic attacks outside blue banana in birmingham

we lost our minds over all time low several times

you stopped me from making some dumbass decisions

we’ve eaten probably more waga’s than any normal person would eat

we drove to liverpool for not even a full 24 hours just to get tattoos

we met up for my bday

we screamed incessantly throughout all of the basement noise shows

we went to a pumpkin patch and you spent lord knows how long trying to choose a pumpkin

we were being chaotic and bi at the vintage sale in chelt

superbloom and the ensuing madness

and lots of other things I'm sure I'm forgetting ✌🏼

basically all I wanted to say is that I'm forever grateful for you. there’s been a lot of growth in 2020 somehow and I know we already talked about this, but I'm completely in awe of you as a human. you’ve done a lot of self-growth this year and I'm so proud of you. you make me laugh more than pretty much anyone else, and I promise I will always eat ur pickles for u 🥒 and take u for coffee whenever u want 🧋you’re my fave human and quite why the universe thought it would be a good idea to bring us together I have no idea because chaos seems to follow us around constantly. I don’t know what 2021 is going to have in store for us, and I know we’ve been hesitant about booking literally anything, but if it’s anything like this year I'm sure we’ll still find a way to be chaotic 😌 there’s so much more I could say but I'd rather say it to ur face than in a tumblr post

I love u beech 💙

[spohkh]

something i really loved about daryl gregory's revelator was how the protagonist stella wasnt like. how to describe this. like, her being a woman WAS important to her character and to the plot, which essentially revolved around a family curse being passed down to each girl in the line. and she was an absolute disaster of a human being--alcoholic and rough-tongued and crude--but the narrative was never like, WOMEN CAN BE UGLY TOO!! it was just like, heres stella, shes a fucking mess, and you love her because of it. like she just felt like a real person, having her story told

i guess im comparing it to like, tamsyn muir's gideon the ninth, which i had some difficulty getting into bc of this sort of, i dont know, (in MY opinion) ham-fisted caricaturization of Woman: Ugly, Strange, Complicated. forced, somehow? to contrast it to another YA/NA book, hannah whitten's for the wolf also is a good example of a female protag who has a lot going on and maybe doesnt always deal with it well, and she feels real, and lovable. 

i dont think im articulating this well but its a trend i see a lot in tv + movies too, where theyre so focused on making women be Women (Strong, Complex, Compelling) that they dont make them, yknow. people. which is ironic bc this trend is IN RESPONSE TO the OTHER trend of making women be ~Women~ (sexy lamp, but alive!). like. yknow. theyre just people. christ. i dont know

[elliebean714]

omg omg i just saw that you did until dawn requests and i was wondering if u could do until dawn characters reaction to Chris’ s/o who is tall and kinda muscular but loves fashion and cutesy stuff?

I LOVE CHRIS!!!!! IM SO HAPPY RN!!!!!!😭💕 Once again I didn't add Hannah and Beth, sorry. These are kinda tricky cus half the characters never interact😭

Until Dawn Character Reactions

Chris' Muscular!Feminine!GN!S/O

Pre-Game

~~

Josh Washington

Josh is very happy for Chris

Josh has always, and will always be his biggest supporter

As wild as it is to him that Chris got, basically, the partner of his dreams, he's happy for him

He doesn't really like that you're just as, or taller and stronger than him

Josh prides himself on being the biggest and strongest, so when you show up and are equal to him, well, that's the only part he's not exactly happy about.

Sam Giddings

Sam is also very happy for Chris

Sam always supports her friends, especially in their relationships

She definitely admires your athleticism

She's very athletic herself and loves having more friends with similar interests

Sam isn't into fashion herself, so if she ever needed advice she'd go to you, wanting to avoid Jess and Emily's judgemental options💀

Ashley Brown

As much as Ashley would love to be happy for you both as well, she simply can't

She still has her strong crush on Chris

Ashley knows you're a wonderful person and partner to Chris but she can't help but be jealous of you

She'll over-analyse every little thing about why he picked you over her

The height difference? The strength? The fashion sense?

No matter what it is she'll always be bitter around you

Matt Taylor

Matt also admires your athleticism

He's on the football team canonically so he'd need to workout quite a lot

And you'd probably be his workout buddy

He's not super close with Chris but it's clear how happy you make him

Emily Davis

Emily is very confused as to how Chris scored such an attractive partner 😘

Cus, ya'know... Chris is so weird and dorky and you're so cool and fashionable

But, obviously, she's kinda jealous around you

SHE'S supposed to be the fashionable one here, not you!

She just finds it really difficult to control her anger and envy and you just make it worse

Mike Munroe

Mike thinks you and him should get together instead💀

Yeah sorry Mike doesn't respect anyone's relationship

Especially if he thinks one of the people in the relationship is attractive

Which is obviously you, sweetness😘💘

Jess Riley

Jess loves that fashion is a shared interest between you both

Yeah, Emily also likes fashion, but her and jess don't really get along well

But you're so sweet and supportive, she loves you

Also, she ADORES your muscles

Jess just thinks you're super attractive, in a platonic way of course

Video Games And Characters You Can Request

Request Always Open 🦋

~ Elliebean714

♤♡◇♧☆♧◇♡♤♡◇♧☆♧◇♡

[burningdarkfire]

books i read in july 2022

[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to msg me and ask about individual ones if u want a full review or ask for my goodreads!!] 

not gonna lie rereading gideon & harrow put me into a reading slump because simply nothing else could live up!! we are deep in august and i am STILL thinking about them 🤠

comfort me with apples - catherynne m. valente ★★★★☆ (horror)

this is just a short novella so it’s kind of hard to talk about without spoilers but i do think that valente is my fave author in the fairytale/storybook style and this was no exception! an interesting little mash-up of ideas that was right up my alley personally

harrow the ninth - tamsyn muir ★★★★★ (scifi)

the gideon reread was mostly fun for me but the harrow reread destroyed my soul 💀 it’s so different reading it and actually understanding it and i just literally have not stopped thinking about it. i can’t recommend enough just reading it again if you didn’t “get” it the first time!!

more than this - patrick ness ★★★★☆ (YA scifi)

patrick ness has got to be one of my fave YA authors. very classic YA emotional core, which is very nice to read sometimes when it’s pulled off well (as this was). slow at times but the scifi concepts really push you to think, and i love how he never gives us easy answers

the angel of the crows - katherine addison ★★★★☆ (historical fantasy mystery)

this is literally published sherlock wingfic. the added supernatural elements are interesting but not the focus, so it really is about reliving the ACD sherlock mysteries - extremely fun for me but i suspect this is not a book for everyone. this “watson” was interesting as both a standalone and an adaptation

the deeper the water the uglier the fish - katya apekina ★★★★☆ (contemporary)

i don’t want to be the guy in my friend group who’s always the only person excited by the fucked up contemporary litfic but like .. yeah this is that and i liked it 🤷‍♂️ fucked up families where you get multiple POVs and learn how their shared family history leads to their individual personal struggles are my jam

the mysterious study of doctor sex & as yet unsent - tamsyn muir ★★★★☆ (scifi)

read (dr sex) and reread (ays) of the two locked tomb short stories. i liked as yet unsent quite a lot more but I’d never complain about more sixth house

delilah green doesn’t care - ashley herring blake ★★★★☆ (romance)

the romance was fine for me but this book does have a very uptight perfectionist bitchy side character whose name is astrid and i LOVED her. i am actually excited to read the second book in a romance series because she is the protag for the next one!!

a master of djinn - p. djèlí clark ★★★☆☆ (historical fantasy)

a book that was truly The Most 3 stars. so completely fine that i kind of wish i’d DNF’d it. the actual plot/mystery was poorly constructed but the world-building was beautiful and generally made up for it

night sky with exit wounds - ocean vuong ★★★☆☆ (poetry)

ehh, i just didn’t connect much with this one personally. some good wordplay and i highlighted a few lines but it was just alright

the vegetarian - han kang ★★★☆☆ (horror)

this book was so hard for me to a) finish and b) meaningfully review. there are three segments that are pretty distinct from each other and i found the first two brutally miserable to read for different reasons, but the book definitely does cohere, so i’m sure other people would get a lot from it

the flatshare - beth o’leary ★★★☆☆ (romance)

i’m a bad romance reader and i’m sorry to all of my friends who thought this was the cutest shit ever. the female main character had no genuine personality traits and the male main character didn’t grow a single bit and i have no clue why they even like each other beyond each of them being an upgrade from their exes. but i do see the concept and understand why romance likers would have fun with this book. it’s just not me tho!

wider than the sky - katherine field Rothschild ★★☆☆☆ (contemporary)

the blurb lured me in with promises that it was about an adult polyam relationship and how that relationship changed the family but instead i just read a terrible YA contemporary with a super unlikable main character who was just dealing with “normal” high school shit the entire time and for some reason even though her dad was polyamorous i still had to deal with an awfully written love triangle

unprecedented: canada’s top ceos on leadership during covid-19 ★★★☆☆ (non-fiction)

i got this book for work and read a couple of sections before donating it. mostly it was just similar to internal messaging but it was more political than i was expecting at points. ehhh

[queenofbaws]

Ello queenie ♡

Hope u like this prompt, been on my mind for awhile.

(Mike and The Stranger AU)

I always got to me how upset Mike sounded when mike found out how what happened to Hannah and Beth. I had a thought that mike went and got the pages Hannah wrote on by himself. He's very quite the days following. Jack finds out about his excursion and chews him out for going down there alone or something, and mike, in a overly emotional state ends up telling him, why the twins fate was his fault. And I guess showing him the pages.

Always wanted to know how jack would have reacted to those pages.

Hope this is fun, take all the time u need.

(not quite) six sentence weekend

He couldn’t say why he’d done it, not really, not in a way that felt right when he repeated it to himself. The fact of the matter was it had been gnawing at him ever since he and Sam had found it, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it no matter how many times he tried to talk himself out of it or distract himself with something else.

So…in the end, he’d done it.

He’d gone back to Beth’s grave.

It took him way longer than it should’ve…or maybe it didn’t. There was a lot of backtracking involved, a lot of guesswork, because whenever he tried to think back on that night, he found his memories had sort of melted at the edges. Like they’d been caught up in the blaze of the lodge or something. He didn’t like to think about it.

Not that it was all hard—he had a jacket this time, for one, a heavily padded number Fiddler had insisted on if he was going to be ‘fool enough to go out in the middle of the gotdamn Albertan winter,’ not to mention a light, some water, and Wolfie. All considered, it was a cakewalk compared to the journey he and Sam had taken.

Part of him wondered if he should’ve brought a gun; he had the first time, after all, flimsy as it had been, and he wasn’t stupid enough to think that they’d cleared the mountain of Wendigo that night. In the end, though, he hadn’t. That probably meant something, but he didn’t like to think about that, either.

When the smell of dirt and rust gave way to the indescribable scent of damp, he knew he was close. Every now and again, Wolfie would whine or snuffle about, though he seemed mostly content to trot along by his side, his fluffed-out tail occasionally thumping against the back of Mike’s legs. Was this fun for him? Maybe—it seemed reasonable this was a part of the mine Jack hadn’t mapped out yet, or…or at least he hoped he hadn’t. It was easier to imagine that he and Sam had accidentally found some hidden part of the mining operation that Jack had never seen in his years on the mountain than it was to consider that once upon a time he’d stumbled across Beth’s open grave and just…

Just…

Left.

He didn’t want to think about it.

The shaft opened wide like a hungry mouth as he entered the reservoir, tiny drops of runoff gathering on stalactites before dripping down into the inky water below. Each one echoed until it tired itself out. Each one rippled on the water until it simply gave up.

Once, he’d waded through that water, Sam by his side, and once, he’d waded through that water with Josh. One of those times had ended significantly better than the other, but really, when you thought about it, that wasn’t saying a whole hell of a lot. He knew from experience the water was only a few feet deep, and even so there was no seeing to the bottom of it, no telling what was hiding just beneath the surface, watching him and Wolfie as they stood there in the open. Of course, it was entirely possible they were alone down there, that there was nothing and no one to see them if they fell, to hear them if they yelled, to help them if they needed it, to…to…

Mike shut his eyes and drew in a long breath. He could feel a second mouth open none too far from where he stood, smaller than the reservoir but no less hungry. He squared his shoulders and reminded himself of who he was, and when he opened his eyes he could already see the telltale flash of bone amid the dirt.

Cartoons had had him believing there were few things dogs loved more than bones, so almost without realizing it, he’d held out his free hand to keep Wolfie from rushing forward. Turned out, he hadn’t needed to do that. Wolfie, it seemed, was even less excited about this part of the trip than he was, hanging back with his tail hanging sadly between his legs. Probably made sense—he was a hunting dog, right? Specially trained? He probably knew how wrong the whole scene was, how stupid it had been to come back.

It didn’t take him long to find the watch Sam had shown him. There it was, right where she’d left it, and for one dizzying moment, Mike had to wonder why he’d thought it wouldn’t have been. In his hand it was cold, freezing in fact, and even if he stood there for the next fifty years he doubted it would’ve warmed against his skin.

His impulse was to toss it into the grave, to flick his wrist and be done with it. But that wasn’t right. That wasn’t what you did. At least he didn’t think so. Carefully, gingerly, he set it down between Be…between the bo…in the dirt, his throat achingly dry as he struggled with what to do next. This was the part where people bowed their heads and said something, wasn’t it? Or…no, no, he probably needed to…to cover her up again first. But was that right? Could he—should he—bury her again, knowing that if Emily had been right, she was missing her he…

No.

He wasn’t going to think about that. This had been hard enough, he just didn’t have it in him to double back and wander through the mine looking for…whatever it was Em had said she’d seen. She might not have even been right, she’d been pretty freaked out. They all had.

Using the side of his boot, he scraped as much of the frozen earth as he could from the piles it lay in to cover the grave. It was slow work. Hard work. And each time a fine spray of dirt fell, his eyes couldn’t help but follow it, to run the length of the bones that had once been inside of his friend. Had she really been so…small? So fragile? He could only keep his gaze on her for so long before he started to sweat in a queasy sort of way, his head filling with a million thoughts that people weren’t meant to think:

Is that what I look like on the inside? Is that all that’s left? Is that all that’s ever left? Is that all that any of us amount to? How can there be so little here? How can so much be missing? Even when you’re eating chicken wings there’s always some gristle left behind, so where’s—

That last one did it. On stiff, unbending legs he lurched to the side, rushing away what he hoped (prayed?) was a respectable distance before his hands found his thighs and his body bent and he heaved what breakfast he’d been able to force down back up in a stringy mess of bile and saliva and, sure enough, tears.

There was a reason he hadn’t wanted to think about it—any of it. There was a reason he’d wanted Sam to shut up when she’d started talking about it, that night, about what must’ve happened to Beth. ‘Someone dug her up,’ she’d said, and Mike had wanted to grab her by the back of the shirt and fling her into the water just to get her to be quiet. ‘I think Hannah had been down in the mines all that time,’ Emily had said earlier in the night, and it was impossible to ignore the way she’d added, all wide-eyes and hushed voice, ‘Alone.’ It was easy enough to connect the two. More than easy. Obvious.

To think he’d laughed when they’d all whispered about pranking Hannah behind their hands, that it had actually, in a way, made him feel like the coolest guy in the fucking world to be the bait. There he was, Mr. Mike Munroe, Class President and most likely to lose his house and kids in a nasty divorce by age 50, so hot and so slick that every girl in Blackwood County wanted a piece of him—of course it would be hilarious to see Hannah’s face when she showed up in the guest room, everyone and their grandma knew she was in love with him, so why not get a few chuckles out of it while the getting was good?

His palms had gone clammy and cold against his jeans, but his stomach decided to give another retch for good measure.

Maybe the prank would’ve happened without him, maybe it wouldn’t have. But maybes didn’t count for shit when you were the one saddled with the knowledge one of your friends, someone you’d spent time with and liked, had been forced to eat their own sibling piece by piece and scrap by scrap to survive. Their own twin. Gristle and all.

When the worst of his heaving passed, Mike passed the back of his hand across his mouth and spit. He waited until the shaking in his legs stopped, and then he went back to the slow, grim work of covering Beth’s grave, imagining he was burying his guilt with her.

He didn’t want to think about it.

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[meetophelia]

Bridgerton - Review

I was not aware that I had been pining for a new Regency drama until I started watching Bridgerton. Most Netflix-frequenters cannot resist a fresh batch of historical escapism, and Chris Van Dusen’s latest feat doesn’t disappoint. We are plunged into the courting season of London, 1813, as high-society families play at matchmaking with their newly-of-age sprogs. The scandals, swoons, and proposals are all secretly scrutinized by the elusive Lady Whistledown, who publishes her anonymous observations in print for the whole ‘ton’ to sweat over, and remains a mystery to the viewer until the very end. 

The series is somewhat Austen-esque in that no one seems capable of communicating their feelings properly. Daphne Bridgerton and Simon Basset, the Duke of Hastings, are the most prominent repeat offenders of this. I was tempted to keep a tally of the amount of audible groans I produced in response to the pair’s consistent nebulous waffle, in which they actually hardly admit to anything, and then proceed (or sometimes, precede) to have unusually amazing sex. It’s all incredibly frustrating, but I cannot deny that the script as a whole is pitched very well, and provides plenty of melt-into-the-floor moments for romantic types like myself.

With that in mind, you might want to prepare yourself for Those Sex Scenes. An intimacy coordinator was brought in to work with the actors who would be getting it on, meaning that everything was meticulously choreographed. The raunchy bits (and there are quite a few) are intimate, gutsy, and about as explicit as you can get. Some moments are a little unbelievable (sorry, but no one's ‘first time’ is that good), and the attempts at pillow talk are questionable (the Duke is, yet again, the guilty party here), but the actors actually look comfortable most of the time, which still makes for a blush-inducing watch. 

What ultimately stands out for me however is how well this take on the world of Regency London has been designed. The costumes are simply exquisite (sorry, too good an opportunity to miss), and will no doubt inspire many plans for themed Bridgerton parties when it is safe to do so. From Penelope’s bright yellow gowns to Anthony Bridgerton’s alarmingly fluffy sideburns, the entire cast look the part, and blend into the beautiful sets as if it were all one big moving painting.

It’s important to note that the cast itself isn’t as diverse as promised; many have expressed disappointment at the lack of Asian and minority ethnic characters. Nonetheless, I am, quite frankly, incredibly bored of the same white-washed, two dimensional period dramas that completely fail to speak to the contemporary viewer. Bridgerton, then, at least attempts to move away from that trope. I’ve seen the usual racist comments about ‘realism’ floating around, but just because most of the paintings in the National Portrait gallery are of white people, it doesn’t mean that this has to apply to the entire population of a fictional television drama, Karen.

I digress; the casting is excellent. Notable performances include Claudia Jessie as the spirited Eloise Bridgerton, who satisfies my need for a break from the perfect prettiness of her older sister, Daphne, and provides an ample amount of feminist push-back without being branded as ‘the mouthy one’. Nicola Coughlan also gives a wonderful performance as Penelope Featherington, one of the few characters I found myself physically aching for. And then there’s Golda Rosheuvel, who plays Queen Charlotte with absolute ease.

The premise of Bridgerton isn’t revolutionary, and I know that some will hear the string arrangements of ‘bad guy’ and ‘thank u, next’ and practically implode with disgust, but I refuse to feign indifference. The themes within the script are timely, but it doesn’t force you to question your entire existence, which certainly appeals to the exhausted, locked-down sofa dweller like me who just wants to drink wine and indulge in their ultimate Regency fantasy for an evening or two. It’s neither old, nor new, but it certainly fills a hole in the present moment.

Beth Greenwood (she/her) is a writer and the founder of OPHELIA. She can often be found eating absurd amounts of peanut butter and topping up her odd sock collection.

[klaus-is-the-real-number-1]

This Is How It Feels (number five x reader)

A/N: i made it into a fic,, like a highschool au,, hope you enjoy like,, idk, u know them typical fics where its like ‘i dare you to graft them’ or ‘pretend to date’ and then then end up liking each other or,, i dunno. I got pure carried away sorry.(ok so i made some names up for people so, your best friend is: Beth and Beths older brother is: Dante) i havent proof read sorry :(

spazclaiire said: hii could i request headcanons or a fix of excuses five has used to hold your hand or ‘four times five had an excuse to hold your hand and the one time he went for it’ please? thank youu

words:3350

Books weighed down your arms as they spilled over the threshold of your carrying limits, they were heavy, a mix of ring binders and oversized textbooks were making you sway like a drunk man. People barging past in steady streams didn’t help your balancing act either, stumbling every few seconds hoping that the library got closer quicker. 

Swinging open the door to the library your eyes scan the room for the table you and your friends usually sit at and by ‘usually’ you actually mean every single break you get, whether its just for 5 minuets or the full hour you get for lunch or free periods. The table in question even had all your names written on the underside along with other random scribblings and doodles. You make eye contact with a few people on your table as you get closer.

“Y/n, I’ve got some tea to spill, and it involves you!” Beth excitably suggests. Beth always had some new tea to spill, she was a see all hear all person, it also helped that her older brother was in the year above and in the group of the schools self proclaimed ‘bad boys’. She always knows what they’re planning, the who, what, why and where, she had it down to a T.

Speaking of ‘T’, any tea involving you wasn’t good, there had been drama circulating about you before and it took long enough for that to die down. You sigh, hoping it’s got nothing to do with the group of ‘bad boys’. “Go on then, spill.”

“Five Hargreeves has his eyes on you.” Of course, Five was the year above and one of the smartest students in the entire school. The only reason he even knew who you were is because his best friend is Beth’s brother and you were in his AP physics. He was also classed as the fittest boy in school with the worst reputation yet the cleanest slate. 

“For god’s sake, why?” The last thing you wanted was for Five to actually care about who you were, he was a heart breaker, something that you just didn’t need.

“I’m not too sure, I haven’t heard much about the plan, but there is a plan so just be cautious. He’s probably after you because you’re fit.” You smile at her words. “Are you in the art building for lunch again?” You just nod in response.

You had been spending an increasing amount of time in the art buildings, it was just a soft and aesthetically pleasing environment to be in and it meant you’d actually get your work done. You could sit and draw for hours but with how hectic life was the art buildings was a safe getaway. So at lunchtime that’s where you found yourself, aimlessly painting the view out of the window, fields and trees and streams filled the canvas. You were in your own world, minding your own business. 

“Your painting is really pretty, but not as pretty as you.” There it was, not only half a day after being warned about Five Hargreeves he was already trying to chat you up. He was leant against a wall behind you, scanning your figure and the painting. “And I was here thinking you were just a brain and a pretty face.” It was a pitiful, low effort attempt and a half-arsed compliment.

“What do you want, Hargreeves?” It may of sounded harsh but you didn’t want to deal with his bad attempts at flirting.

“Harsh much,” He jokingly placed a hand over his heart. “Listen I need a favour, all you have to do is walk out of this building holding my hand and pretend to date me for about 2 days maybe.” A shockingly fake smile spread across his face as he held his hand out.

“So let me guess,” You tapped your finger on your chin, mockingly thinking. “I’ll pretend to date you, you’ll win some sort of bet and then the best part is when you tell everyone we shagged then you dumped me right after!” You returned his bittersweet fake smile. “I’m going to have to pass Hargreeves, I’d rather not be apart of one of your silly little games.” 

With a tut, he turned around to leave the block not before having the last word. “You’ll fall in love with me eventually y/n, they always do.” You could help but to scoff as he walked out of the room, he was too cocky, all the years he always had any girl he ever wanted to drop at his feet but not you.

Time ticked away slowly until it came to AP Physics, it was a brutal way to end the day often ending with being completely worn out. You were concentrating on rearranging the equations that needed to be used, it was going well until a piece of scrunched paper landed where you were writing. You simply brush it to the side and continue with your work, you had a faint idea who it was from seen as Five sat on the opposite side of your table of 4, ideal, you know.

“y/n.”  His foot playfully tapped yours, causing you to roll your eyes. “Open it.” 

So you did, only to be met with the more than classy words ‘my offer still stands ;)’ You couldn’t believe it, looking him in the eyes you pretended to ponder his decision, swiftly followed by tearing the note up and sliding it back over to him. Fives mouth hung open, you smugly go back to what you were working on. 

Five was relatively quite for the rest of the class, resulting in it going much quicker than it normally would. He would sometimes answer questions but other than that there was no more chew from Five. In a blink of an eye it was time to go home to rest and recuperate from a long day of lessons, to prepare for the exact same the next day, the same as you do every day.

Five paced around his room, he hadn’t lost a bet yet and he wasn’t going to start losing them now. It was a simple bet, make y/n fall for him. Five didn’t particularly want to follow through with this bet, it wasn’t fair on y/n seen as she hadn’t done anything wrong to Five. Dante had only made Five do the bet as he knew Five used to have a slight thing for y/n, it was almost comedically convenient that Dante’s younger sister was best friends with y/n, Dante couldn’t help himself whenever y/n was around his house with Beth to make a comment about it. But despite all this, he couldn’t lose the bet.

The next day, Five had a plan, he knew that in AP Physics the teacher was about to set a new project to be completed in pairs, so naturally he went straight to the teacher. “Sir, for that paired project I really think I should work with y/n, we’d work so well together.” He practically begged his teacher.

“I’ll think about it Five, but if I do place you together, please make an effort to improve your behaviour. It’s your last year and you have such great potential, don’t waste it.” The spiel was met by a roll of Fives eyes followed by a muttered ‘sure’. Five regularly got this talk all the time, everyone says that he needs to focus his academic knowledge into something, anything, but he’s just not motivated by anything. Everything had either been invented or is being invented so there was just no point in trying.

The weekend drew closer with every ticking minuet, teasing you with every small movement of the hands, counting down like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. You were sat in your last lesson, AP Physics, took your seat and took out your supplies. You lazily observed as the rest of your class walked in, you gave and received a few smiles to and from various classmates until last person the last person in, Five Hargreeves, he waltzed into the room with confidence oozing from him. 

Before Five had a chance to speak the teacher was already up and writing the title on the board ‘electromagnetism’. As soon as the words appeared on the board a collective groan of despair was heard throughout the room. 

“So,” The teacher started, clearly enjoying the sudden drop in mood. “I know how much you all love electromagnetism, so what were going to do is work in pairs to create a powerpoint and a poster covering all the aspects of electromagnetism!” The room livened up a bit at the prospect of working with a friend, that was until the teacher continued. “I have put you in pairs, so listen in as I call the pairs out and then move next to your new physics partner.”

People moved about the room to sit next to their project partner, you listened closely to hear who you’d be partnered with this time. “Y/n?” “Sir.” “You’re with Five Hargreeves.” You see Fives face light up as he slides his books across the desk the the seat next to yours, the smug grin never leaving his face once. 

You begin to write down what you had to do for the presentation, feeling Fives eyes stare into the side of your head. “So over the weekend can you do as much research on magnetic flux, flux density and field strength and I’ll cover BH curves and permeability, does that sound good?”  

“Why don’t we just meet up over the weekend and make a start together?” He nudged your elbow, your pen run up your page, ruining the word you were writing.

“Can’t. I’m working all weekend.” Which was met with a small ‘o’ from Five, he turns way and messily scribbles on a sheet of paper and then slides it back over to you. 

“Well if you can’t meet up this weekend then at least have my number.” You slightly smile and fold the piece of paper up and slip it into your notebook. Before Five could slip in another word the bell rang, signalling the end of the day. You say your goodbyes and begin the walk home, it was a fairly long walk home maybe reaching around 30 minuets but it was always a pretty sight to walk through the woods during the spring, pink petals from the cherry blossoms littered the ground, colouring the dull world waking up from winter.

Once home you stared at the crumpled paper with Fives number on it, also noticing the smaller scribbled snapchat username. It felt like a smarter decision just to add him on snap for now but save his number in your contacts, just in case. As soon as you added him he accepted within a matter of seconds, followed by a picture message ‘hey x’ it read. You simply send a picture back of your blank wall and place your phone down, you let a small laugh as your phone buzzes again. 

Sitting at your desk, you pulled out your books and your laptop to make a start on the physics work. You just couldn’t help but check what Five had responded, clicking his name you were met with his face in a pout. You respond with a picture of you sticking your tongue out, which got a response quickly. This stream of photos carried on until the early hours of the morning not even realising the time and that in a mere 6 hours you had to go to work, you send ‘night’ to Five and place your phone on the side, a small smile on your face as you drifted to sleep.

Five laid awake, considering calling the bet off all together. Hours of talking to y/n only felt like minuets, Five wanted to get to know y/n on his own terms not on the terms of a bet. He shouldn’t of accepted the bet to begin with, his competitiveness got the best of him. 

The weekend went far to quickly for your liking, mixed with work and school work. Five was also non-stop messaging you throughout the weekend, he found a way to talk to you about everything and anything, often sending long video messages of him walking round his giant house, you could always hear the shouts of his siblings in the background.

Monday nights were the one night of the week that you enjoyed, Monday was movie night at Beth’s house. The night usually went that straight after school you’d take over the living room, bringing out the blankets and extra pillows, you would both then decide what films to watch and what food to get. Once that was all done you’d both bunker down and start the movies, getting ready for a long night.

About halfway through the first movie Five and Dante slowly made their way into the main room, stealing some of your pizza before sitting down on the sofa to join you. Five took a seat next to you while Dante sat on an armchair, Five pulled your blanket so it was covering both of you, leaning back into the sofa you could feel physically how close he was to you and it was driving you mad.

Beth caught your eyes and wiggled her eyebrows, you responded by sending a cheeky wink with a joking smile. As the night moved on and the movies continued, you and Five slowly moved closer throughout the movie marathon, it couldn’t of been helped, you were both like two magnets. 

The final scene in The Breakfast Club was playing, both Beth and Dante had already fallen asleep, you felt Fives hand touch the side of yours. You slightly push your hand back against his, welcoming the warmth as his touch, your reaction invited him to link his fingers with yours. Light from the TV bounced off the features of his face, defining his angled lines of his face, you couldn’t deny that he was handsome, very handsome. 

The screen of the TV turned dark as you used the remote to switch it off, a dim glow of the moon shone through the open windows, the moment was romantic, overly romantic but it was the sleepiness making you ignore the voice that was screaming that he didn’t mean it, he had an end game and you couldn’t forget that. 

You pulled your hand from Five and lean over to Beth and lightly shake her shoulders. “Beth, its 20 past 1, I think it’s time to go to bed.” She responds by making some unclear noises and began to sit up, you smile and stand up pulling her with you. You spare a glance back at Five before continuing upstairs, unable to stop the tingling feeling in your hand.

Eventually, you had to meet up with Five to work on the physics project, you both hadn’t spoken since Monday night. Well not exactly, Five had been messaging you a lot but you just hadn’t been responding because all you could think about was if he had a possible end game. You didn’t want to get played by Five.

You heard soft steps getting closer, you look up to meet Fives eyes. “Hey.” He spoke in a soft voice in the quiet library. He pulled a chair out from besides you and sat down, pulling his textbooks out of his bag. You both made small talk during your work, it was a nice atmosphere in the library, a nice atmosphere between you and Five with no looming pressure after what happened Monday night.

A breeze drifted through the large room, causing you to break out in goosebumps and shiver. You decided that morning that you could just wear a T-shirt with no jacket as the sun was out, how wrong you were when dark clouds swarmed over. 

“Do you want to borrow my hoodie?” Five asked, but he was already taking it off to give to you.

“Oh no Five it’s okay, it’s my own fault I forgot my jacket. Anyways what would you wear?” Despite how cold you were you really didn’t want to borrow Fives hoodie, he would be just as cold as you were.

“No please y/n, take it. I’ve got an extra jacket in my locker anyways.” He pushed his hoodie into your hands. You could tell he was probably lying about it but you sheepishly took his hoodie and put it on, it was warm and you couldn’t help but smile a little bit. 

You mutter your thanks, a warm flush coming over your face as you continue to work on your project until your next lesson. Once the bell rang, you both left to opposite directions, you completely forgot that you had Fives hoodie on until you sat next to Beth in english to be passed a scrap piece of paper with scribbled writing ‘That’s not your hoodie???’ you smile at the sheet and just write back ‘Five’s’ 

You didn’t see Five for the rest of the day until you got a message during the last lesson. ‘meet me near math class at the end of the day x’ It wasn’t a question, he was telling you. You send an ‘ok’ and continue with your lesson, constantly distracted by the ticking arms of the clock, counting down it’s last minuets.

As the clock strikes 3 you make your way to the math department, you were fighting against the tide as everyone rushed to get out of school. As the crowed begun to thin you saw Five standing outside the maths classroom, standing hoodie-less. He made his way towards you, smile present on his face.

“Where’s this jacket that was meant to be in your locker?” He just laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“I mean my hoodie looks better on you than it did on me so I don’t mind.” You smile at him and begin your decent through the school. “So I was thinking we could just like, go for a walk? It’s just nice spending time with you.”

You both aimlessly wandered around town until finding a small cafe to reside in when the weather started to turn, Five had a black coffee and you had a hot chocolate. The room was filled with noise from others in the cafe and also from the outside world that couldn’t reach you in your own little world.

“Five, not to sound daft or anything but are you still trying to do this for the bet or are you being genuine?” You didn’t want to sound harsh but you were still unsure if this was genuine or just an oscar winning act.

“y/n,” He reached over and took your hand. “I called the bet off just before Monday night, as soon as I came to the school and saw you I knew straight away I wanted to be with you.” He ran his thumb gently over your knuckles. “I know you wont trust me right away but I want to make you trust me, I want you to feel the same way about me as I do for you.”

“Okay.”

All it took was that one word to kickstart your time with Five. It started small, handholding any chance he got, he seemed to always need to be close, holding and hugging you. He was so affectionate and almost touched starved, begging like a stray puppy. Five slowly gained your trust and love for him, he had an infinite amount of hoodies and oversized T-shirts, truth be told you were pretty sure Five just loved to see you in his clothes.

You and Five were cuddled up on your bed, he was running his fingers through your hair as light cut through the curtains, lighting the room in a heavenly glow. Five placed a kiss on the side on your head, pulling you closer as he did. 

“Y/n, I think I’m in love with you.” You smile and lean into his embrace.

“I think I’m in love with you too, Five.”

[aaphids]

Tagged by: sorta kinda @/cynicalrainbows but also not at all

When is your birthday: september

Where do you live: new zealand. the north island to be exact

Three things you are doing right now: chatting absolute nonsense with my girlfriend, sucking on a raspberry split (aka the best flavour and no i’m not taking criticism on this), and occasionally looking over my art history notes for wednesday mornings exam

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest: it’s really just been six since february of this year (a fact which i still find very strange) but i’ve also dabbled in the last of us (because the sequel broke my heart into a million little pieces) the haunting of bly manor (only a little but i did spend a good chunk of my time on the ao3 tag) and quite recently RENT (only by proxy of my girlfriend who is obsessed with the new production in manchester, bless her. but i’m yet to actually watch the whole musical in full)

A song you can’t stop listening to right now: “down the line” by remi wolf for upbeat feelings, “future me hates me” by the beths for self depricating feelings set to an upbeat tune, and “take off ur pants” by indigo de souza for just straight up self deprecating feelings and a good bass line

How has the pandemic treated you: my fellow kiwis and i have been blessed with a good prime minister who actually cares about her citizens, so i’m in a position where i more or less live in a covid free society currently. but i guess if we’re speaking about just the lockdowns, those were very hard. the first one in march was weird and unsettling, school was even harder, i hated being away from my friends, and i was already dealing with a horrible fear of being sick in any way, so i’m sure you can imagine how much of a nightmare my own brain was. but i think ultimately the second lockdown was worse, i lost all motivation for school, and suddenly i gained this mindset that all my friends hated me, which lead to talking to basically no one outside of my family. it was very lonely, but i’m honestly just grateful that i live in a place where we were sensible and didn’t have to deal with as harsh pandmic repercussions like other countries have

Recommend a movie: fried green tomatoes because it’s my comfort film

How old are you: 18

School, university, occupation: full time student

Do you prefer heat or cold: both for different reasons! cold because extra layers and cozy blankets. heat because there’s more chance to hang out with friends and i love the beach

Name one other fact others may not know about you: i can tell you a lot about how american history from the 1970s to the 1990s influenced all the slasher horror films made in that period

Are you shy: painfully so. but i also have a very “fake it till you make it” mentality so i’m not sure i come across that way

Biggest pet peeves: people who talk during movies. not even just people i dont know talking but people talking directly to me, i have a hard enough time concentrating i really don’t need your commentary. also i hate when people act really really grossed out by bugs. i am simply just helping this poor worm off the footpath and into his muddy home, there’s no need for you to yell and scream about how gross it is, susan.

Pronouns: she/her

What’s your favourite “dere” type: i don’t have the patience to read through them so i’m just gonna say tsundere because it’s the only one i already sorta know

Rate your life from 1 to 10: a five and a half? maybe? on one hand i can just see the finish line of my high school education, which is a huge relief, i’m in a relationship that makes me very happy, and my friends are the best group of people i’ve ever known. but on the other hand, the transition into a more independent lifestyle has been a punch in the face, my mum has been an absolute nightmare to live with lately, and the future seems like a huge uknown now which is terrifying. so... yeah. weird times.

What’s your main blog: this one!

List your sideblogs and what they’re used for:

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends: at first i won’t be able to hold a conversation and i will over compensate with jokes, but once you get to know me i won’t be able to shut up. i’m very friendly i promise! but i’m also a huge grump at times, so please be patient with me as i’m trying to be better too

Tag: i know zero people on this site, so if u read this and thought hey that’s right up my alley then go ahead

[mashtonasfuck]

so I’ve been debating posting something since this morning, so here we are 😌

I’m so endlessly grateful that I found Luke on YouTube almost 10 years ago. Watching him go from a solo artist, to a three piece band, and then to a four piece band has been an absolute privilege. He’s grown into his role as a frontman and he owns it.

Seeing Michael grow into a kickass lead guitarist and become honestly the softest man on the planet has me 🥺 (Michael was my lane for some of the early days of the band so he has a green hair-dye coloured piece of my heart 💚)

Cal is my forever cheat lane and I love him for that honestly. He gave up a career in football for his boys, and I hope he still feels like it was the right decision bc the band wouldn’t be the band without Calum 🥺 he plays bass and keys, and sings, and honestly what more could I want 😌

Then we have Ash. My main man. Drummer, singer, solo artist - a man of many vibes. I’ve talked a lot about what he in particular has done for me before, so I won’t go into it again, but just know I’m still endlessly in love with that clown. Even if he’s been making me emo af lately smh

Today is 9 years of 5sos, but it’s also 9 years of me finding the band that I call home. They’ve been there through every facet of my life; every single up, and every single down. I’ve watched them grow up and I’ve grown up alongside them, and while the difference in our lives sometimes makes me wonder where the fuck I went wrong (😌), I wouldn’t change it for anything. They’re my boys and I’m so honoured to exist alongside them. 🥺

today also feels special because through these boys I’ve met some of the most wonderful people and gained the best friends I’ve ever had in my life. (some quick shoutouts under the cut bc it’s emo hours lads✌🏼) This fandom isn’t always the nicest place to be, but I like to think that our little community over here is pretty good.

Happy 9 years boys, I can’t wait for the big 1-0 💙

@loveroflrh - Lauren, I’m so blessed to know you. You’re such a sweetheart and I’m SO SAD that we didn’t get to meet for my birthday, but i have faith that it will happen 🙏🏼 getting to know you recently has been a blessing, and witnessing you and Beth progressively losing it over the plot of Brave is one of my highlights of 2020, so thank you 😂 you’re a wonderful writer, and a wonderful friend, and I love youuu 💙

@kindahoping4forever - Crys, you’re a gem. I feel like we really bonded over firefight (still not over it), and since then the clownery has got progressively worse. Your fics are devastating and I hope one day dream!Crystal finally gets her moment. Your skills of manifestation are simply unmatched and quite honestly a little scary. I’m desperate to get my butt over to you when it’s safe to, disney is calling our names. love you 💙

@feliznavidaddycal - Raaachhhh. I feel like we’ve spoken a lot more since 🤡 club was born and you’re so wonderful. I hope you know that whenever there’s a notif from you in the gc I brace myself because it’s usually something devastating. I’m sad we didn’t get to DC this year, but you are on my list of people to come and give love to 🥺 Love you 💙

@irwinkitten - teej, I love you so much 💙 getting to FINALLY squish you in July was wonderful and I’m so endlessly proud of everything you ever do. You were one of the very first people I ever followed when I made this account way back in the day, and to be able to call you my friend is honestly a little whack, but you’re a wonderful human and I can’t wait to be able to squish you again soon 🥺

@pxrxmoore - Beth (you really thought I’d write all that and forget about you?), you already know how I feel about you and our friendship. I’m so grateful I inboxed you about Luke being chained to the ceiling in the easier video 😌 befriending you is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I can’t wait until we can do all the things we have planned. we’ve done so many things since we first met irl last November - we’ve got so many more tattoos, and been to waga’s probably more times than is sensible, we’ve made some questionable decisions and both almost had a panic attack outside a shop in Birmingham (😌✌🏼) but our chaos is unmatched. screaming about Ashton with you is always a pleasure. thank u for helping turn my emoji heart from black to blue. love u beech 💙

quick mentions also to: @malumsmermaid (Lauren, we are also desperate to come and see you as soon as we can 🥺), @karajaynetoday, @ashtonsunshine, @calpops, @ashtonlftv - I speak to all of you in varying degrees, but I always love seeing you on my dash, and you make this fandom brighter just by being in it 💙

I’ve probably forgotten someone and for that I can only apologise, but if you’ve ever interacted with me in anyway, then just know that I love you and I’m grateful for you 💙

[tornbetween2loves]

Lifelong Love

This series takes place in an A/U for Desire and Decorum. In this series, the Earl of Edgewater stays married to Mary and they raise the MC together. My MC is Lady Elizabeth Ann of Edgewater. With no one to question her inheritance of Edgewater, Elizabeth is free to choose who she wishes to marry. She and Ernest Sinclaire grew up together and are childhood friends. Briar is still her maid, having travelled to Edgewater for work. Harry never existed and although Mr. Marlcaster is present for the social season, he is not associated with Edgewater. This series won’t really follow canon, but there will be some events based on it. Oh and in this series, Lady Elizabeth does not lose her parents. At least not right away. Who knows what may happen in the future?

Read previous parts on my masterlist here.

Taglist: @darley1101 @blackcatkita @walkerduchess @indiacater @stopforamoment @hunt-sinclaire-raines @hellospunkiebrewster @kennaxval @drakenazario @annieleigha @alesana45 @bella-ca @littleredroseonthevalley @boneandfur

I just updated my taglists so if I missed you please let me know.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry. I am simply borrowing them.

Word count: 1,926

Part 2: There’s Nothing Fun About Being Proper

I rolled my eyes as my mother and grandmother bickered back and forth about the events of the social season. I tried to suppress a yawn, but I was growing weary of their arguments. “I am certain, if we play our cards right, that we can secure an invitation to Opera St. John from Duke Richards,” lady grandmother said. My mother’s face turned red as she threw up her arms in exasperation. “Do you really think I would not be able to get us in there? I was once one of their most famous singers.” Grandmother sighed heavily. “That’s not the point Mary. The social season is about finding a suitable match for Elizabeth. In order to do that, she must be in the company of suitors. Attending Opera St. John with the general public is not an option.” Just when I was about to open my mouth to stop this madness, our carriage jostled, sending me flying across the way, landing at my grandmother’s feet.

“Oh my, Elizabeth! Are you all right?” My mother stood up to help me up off the floor as my grandmother opened the door of the carriage. “What happened,” she demanded of the driver. “You jostled us so badly Elizabeth was thrown from her seat. This is unacceptable.”

“My apologies, madam. I tried to swerve to miss a rather sizable hole in the road, but there wasn’t enough time. Please come outside and get some air while I inspect the wheel and axle for any damage.” I was back on my feet standing in front of Lady Grandmother and I suppressed a giggle as I thought back to Annabelle’s description of her when she was angry. Mr. Harper was driving us to London to begin the social season. I shot him an amused look which made my mother giggle. Grandmother rolled her eyes and groaned. “You two are impossible,” she said as she stood. Mr. Harper held out his hand and met my eyes as he helped me down from the carriage. I smiled at him sweetly. Luke Harper and I were quite close, we shared a love of horses. We shared many hours together in the stables, chatting as we tended the horses together. It was he who taught me how to ride, and we were frequent riding partners. “It’s quite all right Mr. Harper,” I said as I stepped down from the carriage. “I think I was quite ready to stretch my legs.” He bowed his head at me and winked. “Thank you miss.” He helped my mother and grandmother down and led us over to a shaded spot under a massive oak tree.

“Please, rest. I won’t be but a few minutes,” he said with a slight bow. I stood beneath the tree taking in my surroundings. The day had grown quite hot during our travels. We had left in the coolness of early morning but that had all burned off. Everything was slightly wet, as if it had just been raining. My brow furrowed as I shot my mother a questioning look. “Has it been raining?” She shrugged in answer as lady grandmother nodded. “I believe its been drizzling lightly all morning,” she said and looked at me pointedly. “You should get used to it. It rains a lot in London this time of year.” I nodded and smiled at her. “You know I love the rain grandmother,” I said with a gleam in my eye.

She eyed me sternly and said, “Yes my dear. I know all too well about your antics in the rain. But you must remember you are officially a lady of the court. Dancing in the rain is not appropriate or becoming of a lady of your stature.” I sighed. “Don’t ladies of the court ever get to have any fun?” My mother stifled a laugh, causing grandmother to shoot her a sideways glance and clear her throat. “Of course, dear. You can have all the fun you want as long as it’s proper.”

Proper? There was nothing fun about being proper.

“My ladies, the carriage is fixed, but perhaps you would like me to lay out the picnic lunch we have packed? It is almost time and we are about halfway to London.” We all nodded in agreement. “That sounds lovely Mr. Harper,” I said with a smile. He moved to retrieve a blanket from the back of the carriage and I followed. “May I offer you my assistance, Mr. Harper,” I asked, keeping my proper demeanor until I was out of earshot of lady grandmother. I sighed deeply once I rounded the back of the carriage. “I really don’t know how I’m going to stand this, Luke,” I said. “I just feel so stuffy and pretentious. Not to mention this all seems so unnecessary.” He smiled at me as he unstrapped the picnic basket from the back of the carriage. “I know how you feel. It feels absolutely ridiculous to refer to you so formally, Beth Ann.” He reached up to brush a stray strand of hair out of my eyes. My stomach fluttered as his hand brushed my cheek ever so slightly. We stood there, gazing into each other’s eyes, for a moment that seemed much longer. I couldn’t help but feel a connection to Luke. We had so much in common. All the afternoons spent riding and bonding over the care of the horses. Edgewater was famous for their horses and Luke took a lot of pride in their care. This was not the first time I noticed a longing in his gaze, and also not the first time I ignored it. I couldn’t deny that he was handsome, and maybe if our stations in life were different.....

“Lady Elizabeth, what are you doing over there?” My grandmother’s words broke the spell of our gaze as I grabbed the blanket from him and made my way back to the tree. “Nothing lady grandmother. I was simply getting a blanket to spread so we could sit.” I unfolded the blanket, shaking it out and spreading it on the ground under the tree. We all sat down as Luke approached with lunch. He kneeled on the blanket and spread the contents of the basket in front of us. Then he stood and bowed, retreating to the carriage as we ate.

I tried to focus on the conversation my mother and grandmother were having about the upcoming events of the social season. But I found it all so dreadfully dull that my mind kept wandering. I gazed off into the distance, imagining myself on the journey back to Edgewater with my engagement ring from Ernest sparkling on my finger. How I longed to see him again! It ached being apart from him so long. I was so used to seeing him almost daily. I remembered last year, when he attended London’s social season and I did not. It was then that I grew close to Luke. I found myself being overtly flirty and affectionate toward Luke because I was missing Ernest. I knew it was unfair, but I couldn’t help it. And now I was filled with regret as I observed Luke sitting in the driver’s seat of the carriage eating his own lunch. I know he has feelings for me. And I will admit to having a fondness for him too. But it is nothing compared to what I feel for Ernest. The mere mention of his name sends my heart aflutter.

“So what is our strategy for Mr. Sinclaire’s dinner party tomorrow evening?” My head snapped back toward my mother’s question. I couldn’t help the excited grin that spread across my face. “Wait. The first event of the social season is a dinner party hosted by Ernest?” I giggled at the thought, then my smile faded as I realized my mistake. Lady grandmother looked at me sternly. “Elizabeth Ann, you simply must stop referring to gentlemen by their first names. Especially once we reach London. It isn’t proper. I know you have a history with Mr. Sinclaire and hold a special fondness for him, but propriety is of the utmost importance.”

I nodded my head and cast my eyes downward. “Yes grandmother, I’m sorry. I lost my head for a moment. It won’t happen again.” I looked up to meet my mother’s eyes and saw laughter behind them. I know it’s her influence that rubbed off on me to make me feel like propriety was a waste of time. She always said she never understood it either. And she’s told me countless times about how she thinks the entire social season is a comical farce.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through all this Elizabeth,” mother had said one morning after a particularly stern scolding from my grandmother about propriety. I looked at her and sighed deeply. “I just don’t get it. Why is it so important?” She stood up and approached me, sitting down next to me and grasping my hands in hers. “My beautiful daughter, I am not the one to explain the nuances of this lifestyle. To be honest, you and I are in agreement. I think it’s all ridiculous.” She glanced about the room, making sure we were totally alone, then lowered her voice to a whisper. “But I can teach you how to fake it my dear. I’ve been faking it for years. Just find someone you love and get him to propose. Once you’re married it’s all just a public image.”

“The Sinclaire family has hosted the premier dinner party of the season for generations. It’s tradition.” Lady grandmother said. I nodded, remembering her mentioning that at some point. At least I wouldn’t have to wait too long to see Ernest. And what torture it must be for him to host a dinner party! I know how much he despises being social. He really becomes quite surly in crowds. He needs a wife to host for him, to focus on all the details so he can just retreat to his study when he feels overwhelmed. I imagined myself answering the door of the Sinclaire townhouse at next year’s premier dinner, with Ernest by my side. Greeting our guests and chatting with all of them happily, then looking up to meet his gaze across the room. I could imagine his eyes darkening as he looked at me with longing, and wondering if we would be able to wait for the party to be over or if we could sneak off before.....

“My ladies, I believe we should be going if we are to reach London before dark,” Luke said, snapping me out of my reverie. I stood up and headed back to the carriage, excited to get to London.

******************

Thankfully, the remainder of the trip to London passed quietly as my mother and grandmother napped most of the way. I could not rest, however, my mind was filled with thoughts of London. It is hard to describe my emotions. I am excited to finally be a part of society, ready to attend parties and meet new people. But that excitement grows from the knowledge that if I play this game correctly, I will be rewarded with a grand prize. A husband better suited to me than any man in this world. I’ve spent most of my childhood learning the rules of propriety and good manners. This felt like my final test. If I can pull this off, just get through this social season, the rest of my life would fall into place.

[phantombones]

JANE LONGBOTTOM really is the spitting image of SEYCHELLE GABRIEL, right? For someone only TWENTY-TWO ( AQUARIUS/PISCES CUSP ) years old, JANEY has been forced to endure so much. Yeah, that HALFBLOOD has been scraping by at the sanctuary for EIGHT MONTHS now, working as a HEALER in the DIVISION OF HEALING. SHE identifies as CIS-FEMALE and is known to be PERSNICKETY and SELFLESS but also HARDWORKING and ALTRUISTIC. Best of luck surviving through this. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Cosette ( Les Misérables ), Beth Greene ( TWD ), Lexie Grey ( Grey’s Anatomy ), Emma Woodhouse ( Emma ), Steve Rogers ( MCU ), Kara Danvers ( DC ), Jemma Simmons ( Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ), Primrose Everdeen ( THG the Books )

PINTREST BOARD: [ x ]

- Jane was given so much, it almost a surprise that she didn’t up greedy & selfish. Whether it was the love her siblings & parents gave her, whether it was the individual little kindnesses in the world that seemed like man made moments of magic, For the first few years of her life, Jane was with a mother who didn’t know how to take care of her, though she desperately tried to. The woman was still dealing with emotional scars from the previous Wizarding War and got a job at The Leaky Cauldron -- where Hannah was now the owner. Hannah saw the woman have a hard time with her child, and let her bring the young girl to the Leaky so she could keep an eye on her. Jane was calm, collected and observant even as a child and extremely kind, always offering smiles and compliments to patrons. Always trying to help anyone who worked there, having the best intentions even if she sometimes accidentally got in the way. The Longbottoms had been looking to adopt another child for a while, so when the young mother confided in Hannah that she could no longer her child and didn’t know what to do -- The Longbottoms thought it was the perfect opportunity then, to try to adopt Jane and they ended up succeeding.

- [ OCD MENTION ] She was always so grateful and never bitter towards her biological mother, Hannah and Neville never were either, happy that they had Jane in their life and she grew up in a loving household nurturing  the heart full of love and kindness that she’d been born with. Her older brother Rhys was someone she was so fascinated with who was extremely protective of her and she loved her sister Violet’s personality, there was passion, love, support as well as someone who understood her. It was then she met her godbrother Albus as well, who was also adopted into one of the most famous families in the Wizarding World and the two became inseparable. When all her family was first shipped off to Hogwarts without her, Jane cried and missed them dearly. Yes, she had Albus, but he still had his sister and extensive family and while she felt close to the Wotters -- it wasn’t the same without her siblings. There was a guilt that she felt for not being more grateful. Jane started having obsessive thoughts and compulsions in an attempt to cope with the fears associated with her siblings both being away. Diagnosed with OCD at such a young age was an illuminating thing for Jane, her treatment process was something that further bonded her with Hannah. After months of treatments, exposure therapy, the support of her family & friends, and inner strength, Jane finally felt better and realizing all she wanted to do was give, and give that same healing power & love back to other people. It was clear in her mind then, she wanted to be Healer. It was her calling. [ END OF OCD MENTION ]

- Though Jane was incredibly well liked, she was also sometimes made fun of for naive brand of thinking, and though she had a pure innocence, she was not blind or unexperienced to hurt, mental suffering, and loss. She was underestimated by some as some saw her as a far too idealistic Hufflepuff, a naive girl, a perfect student and so altruistic & sweet it made your teeth rot. It was all genuine, kindness was her virtue and being kind to others even when they were unkind to her was something she frequently practiced. People thought her being a Healer wouldn’t work, they thought her meek, but Jane was even more hungry to prove herself, finding any way to advance & learn as quickly as she could to get to her goal as best & quickly as she could. Jane simply couldn’t wait. The hardwork paid off, and though Jane didn’t graduate early from Hogwarts, she had taken classes & done so many internships as well as pre-Healing programs over summers & during school ( helping in the infirmary with Miss Pomfrey kept her sane ) that she started her training immediately after school a year ahead. Her life was dedicated to that then, and the young girl many thought would probably faint at the sign of blood with how pristine she could act was always hands first in a body cavity doing what she had to. The first to respond to a scene that required extra care and thought. The first to get her scrubs beyond dirty and stained with blood if needed. Jane took authority, she was confident in a way that she didn’t display anywhere else.

- When the Inferi outbreak started, Jane had just finally graduated from the program and become a full fledged Healer with a research lab and a grant she’d gotten from the Ministry. She’d been focused on finding a way to cure Lycanthropy when people started coming in with weird symptoms, and bodies that didn’t look quite human started coming in ripped apart, missing organs. Jane kept calm, but deep in her gut she knew something was wrong and started preparing for the worse -- just as a precaution. It paid off, because when it was told that they Jane was one of the first people at Hogwarts helping set up the Division of Healing in Hogwarts, and has been there for 8 months since. Jane still is truly one of the nicest, kindest, selfless people you’ll ever meet  that it could kill her. Easily willing to help a person no matter what side they’re on, it’s hard for her to tolerate suffering in any capacity -- especially when doled out by brainwashed bigoted children. Jane is nonstop in working, she’s finally gotten to where she wants to start and she’ll be damned to let the world fall apart if she can help it. She wants to do anything she can to help the world and to help heal the people around her, and will do everything in her power to try.

RANDOM FACTS:

excellent chess player and hot chocolate maker

will try to set you up!!! even in this economy!! is so in love with people’s love life and would fuck around with the media bc she found them annoying but funny and always making assumptions so she just went with it and joked around fueling and feeding FAKE AF rumors

Her sexuality and her OCD were two things she had trouble thinking about and dealing with. Firstly, Jane had never really felt the same sexual attraction to people that everyone else had when she was in school. She could never imagine casually sleeping with someone and when someone mentioned a need for sex, Jane didn’t really understand it. She figured it’d come later, but it never did and for a while Jane felt broken by it, she felt scared that there was something deeply wrong with her. Albus was who she opened up to first, and he helped educate and reassure her that there was nothing wrong with her -- though she felt comforted it’s not something she’s thought about further. Especially during the zombie apocalypse. Her OCD now isn’t as compulsion driven now as it is obsessive thought centered. Survival mode is hard and definitely taking it’s toll on Jane, something she needs to take care of but feels she can’t. Other people are suffering more, they need her brain and they need her hands, she cannot think about things that will unravel her. So Jane pushes it down, as her anxiety grows and the number of hours she sleeps grows less and less.

but really if she sees two people who look cute and are acting cute together she’ll ship it

she really has no artistic talent??? she’s not the most knowledgeable on it either besides art from books like plays, but painting all that jazz?? how do u do that??

really pure, cinnamon roll, follows da rulez and probs tries to mother you like SHE WILL bc she cares so damn much

always always leads with her heart but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a sharp mind. she just prefers to lead with her heart and FEELS so much

will always be gentle and kind no matter what, it’s wild

loves herbology and likes potions a lot but jane really got good at it through hardwork, ambition to be a healer and curiousity.

imma stop now bc THATS  A LOT! but thank you for reading and if you’d like to plot just like this!! honestly ur the real mvp if u read this

[castielartandcomics]

OKAY. THE TIME HAS COME FOR THIS POST TO BE MADE. Even if it will be just a bunch of projects and me talking about them, it’s something I’ve been willing to do since a lot of time, mostly for a bit of self-esteem and to let you know that I’m actually working on stuff.

Since this will be a long post with some pictures, everything is under the cut! >:3

Honestly, I could start with a list of all the reasons why I haven’t been posting much, but the main reasons are low self-esteem and little to no time to do my stuff. School has been killing me slowly in the latest times, so the main reason why I post so little it’s actually academic work, nothing more and nothing less. ... this being said, let’s begin from what is REALLY interesting. >:3c

Gastertale

First of all, YES, I’m still working on Gastertale! And I’m extremly sorry for the long gap between the pages: the next page IS done, I just need to add dialogues, but I still haven’t for the simple reason that I don’t want to publish it only to make you wait other three months for another page. Hopefully soon I’ll return to have a bit of time, and at this point I’ll make pages more often and way better. I’ve improved a lot in this months, and despite there will probably be a little gap of style too between one page and another, I think I’ll be able to give you something more! My objective when I’ll restart to post it is to make at least one page a week and give a bit of a regular schedule, but about regularity it’s something that we’ll have to see (again, academic work). But hey, at least I’ll try to make you wait less than three months for the next page! </3

Plus, to confirm that something IS actually done:

preview, WOHOO!!

Sonic Humanitymorph & Sonic Battle Remastered

Basically. I want to draw more Sonic, and I want to draw him with a purpose. It’s... kind of a long story, but I’ll make it short for you because I don’t want to annoy you with melancholic and dramatic stuff (?). In a few words, I want to build new memories with Sonic and company, since my first memories are... kind of lost. I literally grew up with him, yet I remember little to nothing about his stories and about me in that period, and it’s something that makes me suffer a bit. SO! I’d really love to build new memories and honour a hero I’m really fond to, and I’d love to make this with you all! Since I also noticed that you really like my human!Sonic characters, so-! /)u(\

So, basically, the ideas are: MORE human characters. I still have your suggestions, I simply didn’t have the time to think about them, but I will surely do it! I’d love to make a lot more of the characters, if not all of them! And together with it, also another thing inspired by @slightly-gay-pogohammer‘s adaptation of Rayman “I’m Only Human”, which consist in adaptations of some of my favourite Sonic’s games, but in human form. And with some basic differences of course. I’m already working on it - my idea is of comics (as you could imagine, since I’m writing this on my art blog) but with a “much faster” style that will let me publish pages with a pretty fast rate (gotta go fast). Basically, sketches, and my sketches are very clean so the result should be pretty good. I’m working on Sonic Battle (which name will be Sonic Battle Remastered), which... SOMEHOW is still one of my favourite games of ALL TIMES, but in the list there’s also Sonic Riders Zero Gravity. And for the otheeerrrssss... well. I’m open to suggestions? :3

Rick and Morty: Kattebel

Remember him?

Rick I-T2B2, my personal interpretation of Rick Sanchez. WELP, I made him with a story in mind - and I actually thought of this verse’s versions of Morty, Summer, Jerry and Beth, even if I still haven’t drwan them because, again, freaking academic work. I’m tired, guys. What I have in mind with them is telling the story via comics, but in a slightly different way. I have little images with them, nothing that can be considered a full episode “worth” of a classic comic adaptation, that I think would be pretty cool if done in the simplest way, like a series of images without the need of making a full page. ... I’m not sure if I explained myself correctly, but in two word: SIMPLER STUFF. I’d love to make them, mostly because it’s a little and fun way of exploring this verse and its dinamics more than with just drawings of the characters. After all, I do want to tell you stories, and I should start to actually do it FOR GOOD, even in the simplest of ways! ... despite... yes, I actually have a more complex comic with Rick I-T2B2, about the “origin” of the condition of him and Morty (and by reflection of the whole family). So I think you can expect something bigger here too, despite it will be a MUCH shorter comic!

DEPONIA LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW

[FINGERGUNS] LET’S TALK ABOUT DEPONIA. First objective: actually finish the games. I have them since... a lot, and I still haven’t finished them for-- well, you know by now. An objective is surely to finally play the last two chapters and cry my eyes out, but we’re here for art, so here’s my project with Deponia:

first, drawing it more. Like... a lot more. I have many little ideas for illustrations and many others for little sequences that I think are pretty funny that I’d LOVE to do. I just need to DO THEM. Also, I have a whole lyricstuck in my mind with the Deponia series, and I’d love to make it! Or at least try, I’m not used to lyricstuck. But they’re so good,, Then, I have two projects comic related: one is... little stories. Pretty much it. Something probably of no more than five-ten pages long per story, little missing moments that might be interesting. And angsty, maybe, probably, I’m not sure. The other is... adaptation. Yes, at this point you might have noticed that I love adaptations. It’s just a little idea, but I’ve always found (probably because I’m a comic artist tbh) that the Deponia games would be... really good in comic format. And mostly for training I thought, “hey, I might try some!”. An idea would be of making the whole series as a comic, but I’m not really sure I can do it - but I’m pretty sure I can make little parts of it! It’s a project I had in mind for quite some months by now, and I remembered about it some days ago since I was looking in my folders and...

a WIP was found. Ten points and a biscuit to whoever guesses the scene. This will probably be mostly training, unless things change or something very cool happens. I lowkey dream sometimes that they’ll hire me, but. It’s just a dream. On the other hand, I might open suggestions for scenes to adapt in the games! uvu ... when I’ll finish the games.

Left 4 Dead 2

Am I late?... naaah. You don’t even have idea of how many ideas I have for this fandom, and all in comic form, just to make my life easier. I have no idea of when I might make these, but will probably be sketchy, pencil stuff, and I will enjoy every moment of them. Boy, I love these characters. I want to tell stories with them,

Oxygen Not Included

I HAVE. A STORY IN MIND. And it will be long, angsty, harsh and tragic probably. I don’t have any WIP nor I can tell many details at the moment because,, I guess it would be spoiler? But, it will be an experiment and something that it’ll be interesting for me to try! All that is needed to understand is,, when I’ll be able to make it, honestly-

And for something less comic-y: references

Because I realized I often post sketches, but not actual references of my OCs. I mean fullbodies fully coloured, with palettes and objects and STUFF. It will be a pretty funny thing for me to do, because the versions I’ll give you of my OCs will be slightly different from the “final” version I’ll show you when I’ll be able to tell you their story - because YUP, I’m working on those too, but for now it’s still a very big work in progress, so I’m still not ready to show you stuff. ;3c But basically, an objective of mine is references. Make those darn characters references with nice palettes and cool stuff, so that you’ll actually have,, at least some more infos than a black and white sketch. ... and a good reference in case you want to draw them? I don’t know just,, dreaming a little bit,, I’ll make the references for the OCs I’ve published (so most probably the ones I’ve put and will put more on @mcmentics, because I’ll surely add someone else in there soon), and after making Leda’s reference sheet (because Gio requested him to be the first >:3c) I might put it “to the vote” to decide in which order make all the others. <3 ... or simply go and make them all with the order I want. I don’t know. Let’s see what the future will offer us. <3

And those other projects?

SECRETS (?) But actually, I have told you just the main projects I have. Some (many, actually) I’ll keep as a secret for now, some are just too vague to make a post about it. But, another project is surely to livestream more! Again, I’ll need to see when I’ll have some time, but as for now I’m starting to have some free moments for myself, and I’d love to share them with you! >:3

AAAAND okay, this post got really really long. </3 Sorry, I thought I would have been much faster, but I had so much to say, haha- I’m sorry if something isn’t explained very good, I’m a bit tired after waking up at 5am for academy (and it’s 10.30pm now so,,), but in case something interests you and you wish more infos, my inbox is always open!! <3

Have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening for now, and hopefully,, I’ll start to make something BIG soon! :D Thank you for reading! <3

[twdmusicboxmystery]

5x08: Details (Including TTD)

Okay, so here are the details I (and my FB group, of course) picked up while watching the episode. There are a lot of little things, but most of them are very small.

***Once again, major spoilers for 8x05, so if you haven’t watched yet, don’t read! You’ve been warned!***

The episode started out with Father Gabriel praying, saying he feared a fruitless death. The first thing that popped into my head was Beth. Because who was the ONLY character who is seen, even by the General Audience, to have had a totally wasteful and fruitless death? Beth.  

I still think Father Gabriel may be being paralleled with Beth in this arc, but until Beth shows up and we actually see that parallel (or not) there's no way to be sure. Just remember once again that FG was left behind by Rick. So what follows may end up paralleling to Beth's arc in some way.

With Douche—I mean Gregory, we see more pancakes. Not only is that a callback to Sasha in 7x16, but also Abraham's Bisquick/pancakes reference, and then there was the Bisquick reference at Grady. So it's a theme we've seen pop up in quite a few story lines, but as far as I can tell, it started with Beth at Grady. (Oh, and also they made the pancakes part of the TTD quiz and emphasized that the last time we'd seen them was with Sasha, so they really emphasized this reference.)

I saw lots of threes here. First Simon said Gregory had already told him something 3x. Later, in the meeting, just before going out to "chat" with Rick, we hear Negan tell one of his guys to put "3 and 3 in the windows, but tell them to stay down until we need them."

In answering Simon in the affirmative, Gregory says, "Aye, aye." This just caught my attention because we have had enough pirate references since S4 to show that it's an ongoing theme. And of course they generally live on the ocean. (Oceanside.)

There were fans in the meeting room, both behind Gregory and on the side. These just reminded me of the ones we saw in 6x13. And I suppose that makes sense because they were both Savior outposts. I think the ones in 6x13 caught our attention because they looked like Xs. These ones really don't, but it reminded me of S6.

I had to sit and think about the title of this episode. I wondered why they went with The Big Scary "U" rather than "You." I think the answer is in what Gregory says at the meeting. "I know how it is...negotiating the slippery, steep terrain of managing resources, and the population, and the big scary U. But you might know, it's called the Unknown." So the big, scary U is the unknown. I think it's really interesting that that's what they went with for the title. It will be interesting to see what develops out of this episode because I think the title will end up being very important. The only real unknown we had in this episode specifically was the helicopter.  

Of course with FG and Negan, there were walker hands beating against the windows. More on that theme HERE. 

The lighting inside, especially with the blinds, was a whole lot like what we saw at Grady, and what we saw with Andrea in S3. Negan says "People are a resource." He said that in 7x16, and I caught it at least twice in this episode, so that's becoming a real theme for him.  

Oh, and I think this was one of the longest before-the-opening-credits sequences they've ever had. Seriously, the opening credits didn't start until almost 15 minutes in.  

So Negan's philosophies are actually really fascinating, though still twisted. He makes a big distinction being killing and getting other people killed. So he's big on protection and leadership. He thinks it's more of a sin to fail to protect people (as Rick failed to protect Abraham and Glenn) than to actually do the murdering. He talked about how he couldn't put down his wife when she turned (much like Morgan, actually) and he saw that as weakness in himself. So being able to kill is synonymous with strength to him. That's why he doesn't see murder as a sin.

He called FG creepy at one point here, and remember he did that back in 7x04 when he first met him. I think it's really interesting that he felt threatened on some level by Gabriel, and now in this episode, Gabriel is really challenging Negan's beliefs and justifications about the world. If Gabriel has any kind of hand in bringing Negan down, then Negan finding him creepy in 7x04 will end up being a huge foreshadow. Just kind of an interesting route to take from a writing standpoint.

We're seeing quite a few 4s this season. When Rick, Maggie and co first arrived at the Sanctuary, they fired off 4 shots to get Negan's attention. We heard those shots again this episode, only from Negan's POV. When Regina proposes her plan, she wants to send 40 workers out to fight the walkers, and her plan is for them to die like sacrificial lambs. Of course Eugene tells her the plan won't work. So not sure what the 4s point to. (My first guess would be that they point back to S4, when Beth's arc began, but then that's kind of my go-to answer. I think it may be more complex than that and we'll have to see if any more instances crop up.)

Eugene makes an apple reference. He tells Regina that if the workers turn against them, it will threaten their already-tenuous "apple cart." By that, he just means the setup at the Sanctuary. But still, apple reference. (Apple Theory)

They also talked about 3 outpost heads. So another three, but also some interesting logistical information. The three outpost heads are Simon, Gavin, and Regina. I don't know if the saviors have more outposts than that, but these are probably the three closest to the Sanctuary and most directly under Negan.  

So here's the other thing. I did notice quite a few things re-watching that we can maybe tie back to Grady thematically. The first is in what Dwight says here. "...we don't give up a damn thing. We get out." It caught my attention because of Beth's line that I’m constantly regurgitating, "I'm getting out...just like Noah." So the wording is the same. Then he says to Simon, "If you can't lead the Saviors out of here, I will." Just seems to me like something Beth might say to whoever is leading Grady after she wakes up there.  

I also noticed Simon say, "Let's make today the best today it can be." So once again, we're no longer seeing the "tomorrow" theme. Now it's today.

Of course we have the pickles Eugene gave to Dwight. (Pickle Theories: X, X) But did everyone catch the "primo" reference? Eugene said he brought Dwight some "primo cukes from my private stash." This Savior in 6x12/13 who said he was Negan and Rick then killed was named primo. It can mean "prime" or "top choice," which is how Eugene is using it here. But an alternate meaning has to do with music: the top or leading part of a duet. Just saying. And here it's being combined with pickles, which may be resurrection symbols. Just saying.

I really want to read more into Dwight's chess set, but I’m not sure exactly how. I did notice that the opposite sides were painted red and blue, two colors we've seen a lot. And I kind of want to tie the red smudge that's first on Eugene's hand, and then the green bag, which makes him realize Dwight is helping TF to Beth as well. Just because she had the red cloak hanging in her cell in 4x01. But again, not sure how all of that would gel. I guess I need to think on it some more.

I do always say that red = blood or death, and we have a very volatile situation here. Eugene is obviously suspected of being the rat by Simon and the others. But he now knows it's Dwight. So maybe the red simply symbolizes that one of these two (Dwight or Eugene) isn't going to make it out of this situation alive.

I also noticed that Eugene said to Dwight that he was "grateful to have you watching my six." By that, I think he just means to have Dwight watching his back, but say "six" makes it a clock reference.

Back to Negan. We learned that he used to work with kids. Then he says that all people are like kids in that they need leadership, law, a belief system, economy/society, etc. This shows a really pivotal difference in how Rick and Negan treat their people and how they approach the world. Negan treats all of his people like children. He expects them to screw up, to not know how to handle things, and to need him to save them. By contrast, Rick expects all of his people to be adults and work together. He expects them to learn how to survive, to save themselves, to be independent thinkers and work together rather than squabbling.  

Just really interesting. It's that little nuance that makes all the difference. Rick's people are genuinely strong all by themselves. Negan's people are survivors, but they're very dependent on him.

He also used the phrase "gangs of animals." 1) That says a lot about how he views people. As animals, rather than human beings. 2) This may be a theme emerging given the zoo animal mural we saw on Gracie's wall in 8x02.

He then started talking about the "last guy in charge." This strikes me as another Grady reference, guys. Negan talks about how the last guy in charge allowed people to be weak, so he had to take over to make them strong. Very similar things were said by Dawn at Grady. The last guy in charge cracked, started to lose it, so she had to take over. Of course you could also argue that maybe this is something that would apply to Beth herself, rather than Dawn. Because let's face it: Dawn wasn't really making people strong. She thought she was (I guess you could argue Negan thinks he is too) but really she was allowing a lot of weakness. She allowed rape and other shady things to go on. She allowed bullies to prey on the weak. And she definitely didn't teach her people to survive. She taught them to bide their time and hope for rescue.

Meanwhile, earlier in this episode, Dwight says, "We get out...And if you can't lead, I will."  

Father Gabriel at one point says, "I'm strong. I've killed." Yet another way he's paralleled with Beth and her "I am strong" dialogue.  

We also learn here that Negan doesn't believe murder, enslaving others or his harem are sins. He justifies all of them, which is why he refuses to confess them as since to FG.  

Then Negan says, "No one's coming for us. It's time to go." ANOTHER dialogue parallel to Beth at Grady. "No one's coming, Dawn. No one's coming." And even though we did hear her actually say that in 5x04, I also wonder if this could apply to what we haven't seen yet, and specifically to TF. They came for Beth in 5x08, but now she'll know they think she's dead. So "No one's coming this time. It's time to go."

Some details about Rick and Daryl's fight.  

I'm seeing lots of people say this, but I honestly thought the fight would be worse. I thought it would be really epic and super tragic to see them fighting. It kinda wasn't. If anything, it was more comedic. But maybe tptb want to show that they're in different places without actually ruining their brotherhood, which the fans probably wouldn't like.  

Another thing I thought of: In S1, Shane puts Daryl in a chokehold and Daryl says, "Chokehold's illegal." But he doesn't say "asshole." That's something Rick specifically said in this episode.  

What occurred to me is that that might be a callback specifically to S6. Remember how I talked yesterday about how visually this feels like a major parallel to how things played out in S6, during Glenn's death fake out? Well, remember that in 7x03, we had that callback to Rick and Glenn in S1 when Glenn called Rick a dumbass.  

So I'm wondering if they added the "asshole" to Rick's line in order to be another parallel to 6a. I'm telling you guys, I feel like they're purposely paralleling this to 6a and Glenn's death fakeout. I've always said his death fakeout was a smaller foreshadow of Beth's, and we all know the parallels are there, right down to the 5:10 clock. So this time, it will culminate in the reveal of Beth being alive. Just twiddling my thumbs waiting for it.

This is random, but I also noticed this: 

it's the video game Eugene is playing. Notice the black and white figures fighting (think black and white shoelaces, yin and yang) on a field of green. Then the power goes out. At first, it was just the colors that jumped out at me, and I had no idea why they would show this with Eugene. 

Then it occurred to me that they sandwiched this tiny scene with the first and second part of Rickyl's fight. So we had the first part where they argued, up to where the first punch is thrown, I think. Then they show this scene with Eugene. Then back to the more physical part of the fight. 

So I'm wondering if the black and white represent Rick and Daryl here fighting. The power goes out, which stops the figures on the screen from fighting. And the truck exploding stops the fight between Rick and Daryl. Not sure what to make of all of it, but it's interesting that the black and white figures in Eugene's game are fighting on a field of green.

We get FG confessing what he did to Negan, and then the back story about Negan's wife, which from what I understand matches the CBs fairly closely. 

Again, Negan not being able to put his wife down when she died is kind of a twisted parallel to Morgan. Obviously the two men are dealing with the same issue very differently. We also talked in my group about how a lot of Negan's protectiveness and taking care of people stems from guilt over not taking very good care of his wife. He admits he screwed around on her while she was ill. Especially where his wives are concerned, he makes sure they're well taken care of when it comes to material needs. Plenty to eat, nice clothes, etc. And that's probably to make up for not taking care of his real wife. But again, it's twisted because he sees that as more important and noble than seeing their emotional or psychological needs.

FG says, "We're from Georgia." Negan replies, "Well look at you, lucky shits." I just found that interesting because Georgia and luck (Luck Theory) were mentioned in the same exchange.  

About the helicopter? Denise Huth said in an interview that it was real. Just so everyone knows.(Source)

When Eugene goes to see FG in the cell, he says, "We've eaten dog together." So another dog reference, and we've seen lots of dog stuff around Beth. (X) But I wanted to specifically point this out because I'll be posting a theory later in the week about the dog symbolism, so this reference really jumped out at me.

We also see the key in the door to unlock it. (Key Theory)

And FG appears to be sick. The spoilers suggested he was faking, and at first, I didn’t agree. We'll just have to wait and see to be sure, but I didn’t see how he could fake that fever or that sweat. Yeah, their air is out, but no one else is sweating that heavily. It really seems like he's probably been bitten. Besides, the fact that the episode began with him praying for a fruitful death is important. Who knows when that prayer took place. It could have been back in S6 for all we know. 

The fact that they're showing it to us here probably means that this is the beginning of a death arc for Gabriel, right?. And he talks about the doctor. So the way his death will be fruitful is by getting the doctor back to the Hilltop and to Maggie. That way his sacrifice (stopping to help Gregory rather than high-tailing it out of there) won't be in vain.  

Buuut... then someone in my FB group brought up the very good point that he just said Beth’s line, “I am strong.” So that actually suggests that he WILL survive this. If he doesn’t, that could be bad for TD.

A Quick Note on TTD:

Not a lot there but there was one part where they suddenly, randomly, started talking about Daryl’s love life. What happened was that one of the guests was named Desus, and Chris started razzing him about how in TWD world, Desus is the ship where people want Daryl and Jesus to have a romantic relationship. 

Desus made some sarcastic jokes about how the shippers using the Desus tag is messing up his twitter feed, because that’s his name and he uses that tag for his stuff too, and it has nothing to do with the ship. 

Then he asked an interesting question. “Why does everyone always ship Daryl with someone? Why not other characters?” And I don’t remember who said it, but one of them said something like, “Because he doesn’t have a love interesting.”

Just a super random and suspicious thing to bring up. I think it accomplished three things:

1) Reminds us that Daryl has no love interest. Like maybe he’ll be getting one soon?

2) Carol is on the show, so if Daryl has no love interest, it’s yet another way to show that Caryl is not a romantic thing.

3) Yet another way to shut down the Desus ship, which has already been firmly and officially shut down by both Nicotero and Norman. 

So yeah, that definitely made my ears perk up when watching TTD. ;D

I'm done now. Anyone catch anything else?