#bet u all havent heard his name in a while

[kitsunesakii]

Thought u guys deserved a Gek

[hopelesslydevoted2paige]

010. bet u wanna

pairings: paige bueckers x fem singer!reader

word count: 434

warnings: loving another while in a relationship

su's notes: happy holidays!! guess whos back... im so sorry for not updating at all ive been losing motivation but the fact that people still read this and want more pushes me to write 🥹 thank u guys for the support even if i havent been updating..

series masterlist

i bet you miss me, i bet you're reminiscing

a week later

Paige groaned, rolling around the bed with her hands on her head, pounding from another hangover.

She turned towards the open door, facing her girlfriend who had knocked twice.

"Hey, you okay?"

The blonde sniffled. "Yeah."

Amaia nodded. "Okay. I'll be outside if you need me."

"Okay, thanks."

'She would've stayed with me.' Paige thought about you for the millionth time this week.

She remembered everything that happened that night. All she could think about were the possibilities, would you have gotten back with her if she wasn't drunk? If you guys were in a better setting?

She ran her hand through her long hair, missing the feeling of your touch as she opened her TV.

The moment she opened YouTube, she immediately recognized your face from one of the recent interviews you did for your new album.

She heard your voice introducing yourself, not even realizing she had clicked on the video and placed the remote down.

"-And i'm here to do the Wired autocomplete interview!" You grinned, making Paige's face warm up.

"When does the new album come out." You said outloud as you peeled the paper off. "It's already out! Go check it out on Spotify, Apple Music or any listening platform!"

"Does-" You read your name outloud as you peeled another strip paper off. "-watch basketball? Yes! I love supporting my friend, Azzi Fudd who is on the UCONN women's basketball team and-" You stopped yourself. "And yeah!"

The blonde girl frowned, feeling the jealousy pit at the bottom of her stomach.

"Who is the song 'nonsense' about?" You chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. "That's for me to know, and for you guys to find out." You winked and grabbed another board of questions.

Paige paused the video, rushing to type the song on the search bar and clicking the first result that popped up.

Millions of thoughts raced through her head as she listened to the lyrics. Were you seeing someone else?

She grabbed her phone from her side table and pulled up her messages with Azzi.

paige: azzi

azzi: what

paige: does she still live with you?

azzi: no hi, no how are you doing?

azzi: yes she does

paige: is she seeing someone?

azzi: not that i know of.

azzi: not that i would tell you

paige: i know i messed up, okay?

paige: i still love her.

azzi: then prove it

paige: how?

paige: she won't listen to me

azzi: cause you were drunk

azzi: obviously she wouldve thought you didnt mean it

azzi: make it up to her before its too late.

i bet you hate the way that you said goodbye and you still can't even tell me why

[otasnox]

"otacon's favorite vocaloid is miku" is basic. obviously he loves miku (who doesn't?) but i think he's a gumi kinda guy u know

like i think he knows vaguely of miku from when she releases (he's an otaku online in 2007, of course he does) but he's only like semi-aware of vocaloid...? like he's heard a few vocaloid songs in passing, seen miku in a few flash animations, but then post-big shell he ends up stumbling across megu megu ☆ fire endless night by samfree & he's holy fuck they make eurobeat with this shit? and then he's hooked (otacon loves eurobeat to me. if / when i make a playlist for him it will be a lot of eurobeat)

side note but i like to think otacon loves to dance parapara but he sucks absolute balls at it. like he just cannot memorize the moves and he's all out of sync but he drags snake into it and they both end up laughing so hard they have to sit down on the couch and its ok because they had fun :)

also i think otacon still listens to vocaloid long after mgs4 (sorry kojima but i am REJECTING the "i used to be an anime otaku" line. his ass is STILL an anime otaku) like i bet sunny gets into it just by chance (she's a kid online in the 2010s of course she likes vocaloid) and she tells him about it and hal gets to go full "well back in my day" and sunny is like awestruck that her uncle hal knows so much about hatsune miku. i think sunny's favorites are hime & mikoto meika and she makes raiden cosplay them with her at least once (sunny is hime because that's her favorite of the two). raiden seemed too grumpy about it to actually cosplay them but he ends up having a lot of fun i think raiden is a really big fan of cosplaying it's like an escape from his real life if only for a little while.

if i had money i would pay someone to draw raiden & sunny as the meikas im actually thinking about this so much now. please imagine otacon getting dragged into this and cosplaying gumi because she's his favorite. if snake got roped into it he'd cosplay miku (probably to match otacon but also because the mental image of solid snake in a miku wig is really funny to me). please imagine, if you will, otasune but they are cosplaying miku & gumi as they appear in hachi's song matryoshka ok?

other characters' fav vocal synths include:

otacon likes gumi (as prev stated)

snake just picks miku to match

sunny likes hime meika

raiden picks mikoto meika to match sunny. he doesn't know any of the other ones' names

if liquid lived past shadow moses his favorite would be kasane teto because he's like tch. fuck those STUPID vocaloids. teto goes against the flow she's a rebel. she's just like me he thinks

meryl gets introduced to this post-mgs4. she doesn't have a favorite but johnny really likes luka

solidus would hate those fucking things. he hates music in general i think

naomi likes eleanor forte because she has this weird american-british accent like she does

otacon shows mei ling luo tianyi because he knows she speaks chinese and he's like well maybe she'll find this cool, but he's not well-versed in chinese vocal synths so he just picks the most popular one. she absolutely loves what she sees and gets really into it and her favorite ends up being xin hua

campbell, like meryl, does not really care for this shit, but he's heard porter robinson songs like on the fucking radio or something and he's heard sunny talk about this shit so he's like yeah i like that one. everyone always tells him her name is avanna but he never remembers it

raiden's son (who i think his name is little john) gets into it because sunny shows him it. he likes utauloids more because he can actually mess around with them for free!!! his favorite is momo momone he likes pink things

jetstream sam likes rin kagamine. i dont know that much about sam i still havent watched mgr but i know this is true

psycho mantis also likes avanna (also because of porter robinson) but unlike campbell he actually remembers her name

if olga lived shed be like fuck i gotta pick one to appease sunny. sunny shows her a list and is like "well what's your favorite color" (olga likes purple) and so she ends up with yuzuki yukari as her fave

most of the big boss-era characters do NOT care!!!! but like if they were still alive and they met suny? they WOULD care. kaz likes vflower

ocelot gets assigned tsurumaki maki once sunny finds out he was blonde when he was younger. he may or may not get roped into cosplaying her

venom likes nekomura iroha trust me

quiet likes fukase. again trust me. (i also think liquid secretly likes fukase but he has to keep up his utau-is-better façade)

gray fox sadly died (the first time at least) way too early to experience vocaloid. if he lived i think he would like ia but the only song of hers he's ever heard is a tale of six trillion years and a night by kemu

sniper wolf just picks len at random when otacon asks her if she has a favorite

emma likes meiko. trust

if the boss ever met sunny i think she would pick akita neru. she doesn't know that she's a fanloid she just got shown triple baka by sunny and was like ok sure i like the yellow one

eva just says her favorite is the same as whoever she's talking to (everyone knows she does this and tries to corner her with multiple people at once to see who she'll pick) but she likes lily

para-medic likes that one opera one i have to google her name hold on. PRIMA!!! i was gonna day operetta but that's a monster high character i think

strangelove likes macne nana. dont ask me how she found out about her but she likes the design idek if she's heard any macne nana songs

wow i got very um chatty. i just wanted to make a post that i think otacon's fave vocal synth is gumi.... but now EVERYONE has a favorite one...... damn. what a world we live in!!!

[alienaiver]

“If I die, I’m going to haunt you.”

Miya Atsumu x reader (platonic, maybe) warnings: alcohol mentions, drunk idiots, breaking and entering content: gender neutral reader, dumb drunk antics, fluff, atsumu thinks he can make onigiris, they break into osamus shop, “if i die, im going to haunt you” prompt, short drabble more likely wordcount: 717

notes: i havent actually read the hq manga for a while, so this timeskip knowledge is loosely based off of what i know from tumblr, may not be accurate! i used a prompt from this list! this is pretty platonic but ig u can read more into it if you’d like. first time i tried using a prompt! only my second reader fanfic EVER, i hope u enjoy !!! :^) <3333

----------------

Honestly, you’re not sure how you even ended up in front of Onigiri Miya at 2AM with Atsumu. You were visiting your childhood friend and he decided to treat you to a night in town, where you, after eating extreme amounts of delicious foods in a fancy restaurant you would never be able to afford on your own, also had just a tiny bit too much to drink.

You were walking in the park, your arms behind your back, Atsumu proudly telling you about Onigiri Miya – as if you hadn’t already visited the place a couple days prior when you arrived -  and how Osamu would have tuna and spring onion rice balls ready for him whenever he needed it.

“But yaknow, that asshat isn’t afraid to charge me at all,” he complained, stumbling a bit while walking.  “But I betchu, I Bet! That I can made just as delicious rice balls, dontcha think so?”

He looks at you with his signature smirk and the confidence he usually exudes on the court. All you did was raise an eyebrow at him while a contemplative and distrusting “hmm,” left your mouth.

Atsumu’s hand rose to his chest in what looked like genuine surprise, almost whispering your name, “How could you say that!”

“’Tsumu, I didn’t say anything?” “That’s what hurts the most!” You laughed, breathing in the comfortable summer air while looking up at the night sky. You honestly thought the conversation was over and he’d move onto something else.

“’m gonna prove it to ya.”

And that’s how you guess you ended up here, picking the lock of your childhood friend’s restaurant with his own twin brother.

“’Tsumu, what about the alarm system?”

“I know the passwords, no need to worry ya pretty little head with that.” You highly doubted you didn’t need to worry but nevertheless didn’t argue more than that, after all, you were curious as to what would happen and if Osamu would react to the alarm and if yes, how fast he would show up to kill his drunk brother.

A successful ‘click’ was heard and you watched the door open before you. Atsumu hurried inside and started clicking on the touchscreen of the alarm system. Huh, so he really did know the passwords..

“Turn on the lights, will ya?” he asked, ever so polite. Where the hell even were the light switches? You looked around a little until spotting them on the wall by the door that lead out of the kitchen, “sure thing ‘Tsumu, now that you asked so nicely,” you replied in mock annoyance, mostly just teasing him like you’ve done since childhood about his lousy manners.

He started getting stuff out from different shelves, surprising you with the fact that he actually knew where stuff belonged. When you asked him about it, he slurred, “I help’d set up shop back then,” while getting a sharp knife from the rack. He looked at you with a smile, raising the knife in an attempt to look cool but his tipsiness got the better of him and he actually dropped the goddamn knife.

Your verbal reaction was an underwhelming, “oh!” but your physical reaction made you jump high and falling flat on your ass due to the alcohol in your veins.

“I swear to god ‘Tsumu, if I die here I’m goin’ to haunt the shit out of your ass!”

After the initial surprise, he started laughing awkwardly, bending to pick up the knife, but apparently he bent down too fast because he too, ended up on the floor. You snorted, “the way you fell makes you look like a big toddler,” and honestly you weren’t sure if he was blushing from the alcohol or because he was embarrassed.

“Maybe I shouldn’t try and cook, huh..” He sheepishly admitted, scratching the back of his head.

“No you fucking shouldn’t,” came a voice from the other end of the room, surprising you both. You don’t think you’ve ever whipped your head in any direction that fast before.

There stood a pissed off Osamu, obviously in his pajamas with a jacket haphazardly thrown over his shirt.

“We’re fucked, aren’t we?” Atsumu whispered before he started to giggle. Yeah, you weren’t getting out of this alive,

“I told ya, I’ll haunt you forever, Atsumu!”

[hanniejji]

DAD!GIYUU INTRODUCING HIS BABY TO THE PILLARS

[ tomioka giyuu x y/n ]

anon: hello~ can i request a sequel of the giyuu x preg!y/n where the pillars and kamaboko (and maybe oyakata-sama too?) squad get to meet the baby when he/she is already maybe a few months old?

note: QUICK SEND BABY NAMES FOR GIYUU'S BABY SJRKAJ | m.list

warnings: nei

he doesn't want to

that's his baby and he's definitely not letting any of them near

it's too risky and dangerous

"can we introduce him to your friends?"

"ok"

what were you saying giyuu??

still cautious tho fbskfj

you can't blame him for being paranoid tbh

he did everything he could to not let you get involved in the demon slayer life but it still ended up like that lmao u did ur best giyuu

the first to meet your baby was the kamaboko squad and the butterfly estate uwu

"he's so cute!" tanjiro fanboys

nezuko has a fond look on her face and all she can see was her little siblings :((

zenitsu has a hard time trying to keep quiet sjfks he's doing that smol screaming thing

"why does he look just like you!?"

zenitsu groans as he starts to explain to inosuke how genes work

"he's such a sweetheart! so much unlike his father"

giyuu already regretted his decision

but he kinda likes how the kamaboko squad coo at his baby boy while he sleeps in tanjiro's arms

"so? how do you feel?" you said as you lean against his shoulder

it took him a few moments before realizing that you're asking him if he's comfortable enough to continue on

god giyuu loves how considerate you are

"as long as you're here"

he softly whispers while his hand holds onto your yours

he'd going to need a few days before he allows then to meet his baby let him have some quality time with his family damn it

he'd be damned if he let's the first thing his baby sees are the pillars

so he's going to wait until his baby boy opens his eyes, whether it takes weeks or just a few days doesn't matter

and when he does

god is giyuu amazed with his beautiful eyes they're blue just like his

baby opened his eyes while giyuu's chilling on the engawa, holding the baby close to his chest while you're leaning on his shoulder, softly caressing the baby's fingers and humming a tune

the baby saw him first

"you really did a wonderful job, y/n" he's a lil teary while saying this

"aah" baby cooed quietly, switching from the eyes of his father to his mother, a smol amazed look on his face from seeing his parents' faces for the first time

"he looks just like you, honey" you place a soft peck in giyuu's cheek, nuzzling close to his warmth

giyuu has ascended to heaven and he's not coming back forever

just kidding

a few months after that, when his baby his starts crawling, did he decided that it's ok to let the pillars meet his baby

it was after one of the pillar meetings

"tomioka, how's your baby boy?"

shinobu casually asked

all hell breaks loose

"BABY?"

"I HEARD GIYUU'S BABY, I'VE BEEN SUMMONED"

suddenly, giyuu is being stared at by everyone oyakata included

"tomioka had a baby?"

"his wife gave birth months ago" shinobu confirmed "where are they right now though? i havent checked up on y/n yet"

"she's coming with him today..."

.....

....

...

..

"SHE'S COMING HERE WITH YOUR BABY?!?! AAAHFKA" mitsuri squealed "I CANT WAIT!!"

"I BET YOUR BABY LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU"

"it's his baby, who do you think they'll look like other than him and his wife? you?"

"won't that be dangerous?" mui ask quietly from besides giyuu

"she's with tanjiro and his friends"

while giyuu's being interrogated, the kamaboko squads is near, guiding you through the meeting place

giyuu can tell that you're near even when you're a few walls away it's his father/daddy senses

everyone can tell when he suddenly pecked up

"tomioka!"

bet ur ass that the kamaboko squad is circling around you to keep you safe so they couldn't really see you lmao

"SHES HERRRRE" mitsuri squeals quietly

tanjiro separated from the circle and now they can see you clearly

"she's pretty" mui quietly compliments

"how did he even got her to like him?" a grumpy snake said from a tree

"it's nice to finally meet you, y/n!" rengoku's the first one to greet you, coming closer to shake your hand but stopped mid way when he saw the small bundle in your arms

"IS THAT THE BABY!?" his eyes sparkled at the sight of the baby in your arms, wide eyes and confused

you giggled, shifting your hold on the baby so he's clearly visible to them

"yes, he is"

"hi there~" mitsuri sneaks closer, waving her hand at the baby "he's so cuuuuute"

"his mother is cute too"

giyuu almost glared at sanemi from his place beside you, holding you protectively

"don't anger a flamboyant father, you'll regret it, but his wife really is a beauty"

"t-thank you"

your baby cooed, reaching up to mitsuri's fingers, his cute giggles sound so angelic to everyone's ears even iguro and sanemi found it cute

"he has your eyes giyuu"

"stop crying, gyomei, it's just a baby"

"im glad the both of you are doing well and safe," oyakata said from his place "can i touch him?"

giyuu helped you come up to oyakata, who gently touches the baby's cheeks with a fond smile on his face

"im happy for the both of you, giyuu, i wish the best for you and your family, my child"

giyuu might have despised the thought of them meeting his baby, but he regretted nothing after seeing how his friends smiled at his baby

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[karamazovdmitri]

Heyy! I hope you’re having a good day, I’ve been following u for a while and your passion for Dostoevsky is really contagious! I’ve wondered if you have a favourite translator for his novels that you would recommend to someone whose trying to read him? Or even ones to stay away from? Thanks for reading this 💞💞

omg first of all thank you so much for your kind words !!! this makes me so happy omg ;___; as for the translation, i will say, to me pevear & volokhonsky is always a safe bet, their translation is really nice to read and from the experience i have reading dosto in another language (french) they also seem to be the ones the closest to keeping the flow of the original, which some people will criticize for sounding “vague” or not as smooth/clunky, or being “too literal”, but personally comparing it with my favorite french translations, it seems pretty in line with the direction its going for, and i absolutely love the P&V translation of TBK and i think they do manage to capture the russian vibe really well, which of course is quite different in syntax, and dostoevsky's style especially is probably quite hard to replicate in english but i do really love their take on it, it's always my go-to suggestion of translation, especially for TBK.

vs for example, C. Garnett, probs the other big name dostoevsky translator,  who while its perfectly fine if its your thing, imo sometimes sounds like she tries to make it more palatable to english speaking audiences by playing more into the codes of english language literature, if that makes sense... basically she sounds “archaic”/”victorian”, etc... like you really feel like you’re reading an older piece of work, some enjoy it, personally... im not really looking for that vibe specifically lol. garnett also has the problem where sometimes she will downright just. not bother translating some more tricky parts LMAO but still, in my opinion a fine translation to read, especially since her stuff is public domain so easier to find. 

i dont think ive read other translations in english, so if you’ve heard of ignat avsey, which i know is often highly praised, i havent read his take on dostoevsky yet, but i do plan on doing so one day, so far what i know is he’s presented as being a good middle ground between garnett and P&V, and apparently does dialogues well? we’ll see... and i guess to complete the whole thing, i havent read mcduff either but i have to say im not like especially planning on doing so for now lol... so hopefully this answers your question, pls know im no master in translation, this is based mostly on my own experience and the general consensus but tbh you always find people absolutely loving dostoevsky no matter what translation they pick up so !!

[yhhanbin]

adele vc: hello ~ it’s me ( again ), jet ( taeyang’s mun ), here to bring u my son that looks troubled and moody but actually kind of has his shit together somewhat ??? shin hanbin. once again give this a like if you want to plot, or feel free to add me on d*cord @ dokkaebi#9064 ( for plots with both of my kids if we haven’t spoken yet !! ) find his pinterest here, his stats page here, and some more info under the cut.

* — ⌜ SHIN1, lim jaebeom ⌟  ↝  has anyone else seen the [ SHIN ] heir walking around the hill lately ? their name is [ HANBIN ] and they are the [ SHIN ]’s [ OLDEST ] child. they’re [ 26 ] and currently a [ COSMETIC TATTOO ARTIST ], making their parents proud, i would hope. i heard they can be very [ ASSIDUOUS ] but lately they’ve been quite [ INSCRUTABLE ]. don’t tell anyone, but someone told me [ THEY SECRETLY HAVE A CHILD WITH A HIGH PROFILE YANGCHEON RESIDENT ]. i wonder if that’s true ?

hanbin is the oldest of the shin family

while dresses in all black, black tattoos, with black hair -- his art is vibrant and colorful, the complete opposite

he’s a cosmetic tattoo artist. eyebrows, lipstick / liner, eyeliner, freckles, etc. he’s recently gone one step further and learned how to tattoo realistic nipples. if you’re had a mastectomy he’ll provide you with the service at a heavily discounted rate.

his work persona is calm and welcoming as he knows how intimate his job can be, the waiting room to his office providing warm mood lighting and usually has a scented candle burning

if you know him well he’s a lot more straightforward and stern, unafraid to give his opinion when it’s warranted. 

taking after his parents, he’s a firm believer in doing what makes you happy

sometimes, even though he doesn’t work for the company his parents will ask for his opinion and his creative eye when it comes to new h♡neyheart launches

his motto is who cares ?, if the answer isn’t anyone important to him hanbin will go ahead and do what he wants.

you can find his street art all over seoul -- that is until it’s painted over. each piece is one of a kind.

a possible wc ??? someone who goes out of their way to find and document his art before it’s removed

it’s not a secret that it’s his art, but he’s never been caught in the act so there’s nothing authorities can do about it. he creates his work late at night, completely covered

hanbin cares very very deeply for those in his life, and is loyal to a fault. because of this, if he isn’t treated the same he takes it very personally.

this meant you bet he can hold onto grudges and can be quite petty

another wc potentially is his secret,,,,, i havent decided if it’s true yet or not 👀

[griffinsmith]

send u a character u say??? can you do my boi duncan?

omg duncan, thats a name i havent heard in a while 

ok so i am...still on level 82 after playing this game on and off for 8 years so i had no idea what duncan gets up to in his spare time and seeing he worked for the cabal was like getting smacked in the head with a wet fish 

·         favorite thing about them

uhhh id say design! I really like how the light grays and blacks contrast each other on his cloak, and even his design when you fight him is really good. Honorable mention is that you thought you could trust him when you were at a low level and then he shows up all evil later…cool

·         least favorite thing about them

This is not really a least favorite thing but what the hell Duncan I thought I could trust you. I thought we were gal pals; why’d you have to go and be evil

·         favorite line

I went to look at Duncan quotes and the first one I saw was “So its you – the headmaster’s little pet” and it made me laugh so im putting it here. Im sorry im really bad with quotes

·         brOTP

Uhhh maybe Artur Gryphonblade? They both got that emo kid vibe and I bet they listen to mcr together

·         OTP

Don’t really have one! But uh feel free to insert whatever ship you like the best for him in here since i dont mind

·         nOTP

Basically a given but him x any adult. No thanks

·         random headcanon

He has an emo journal like Malistaire had but its like a cutesy unicorn journal bc it was the cheapest he could get

·         unpopular opinion

why didn’t another wizard on triton avenue become evil like him . we should have 2 evil wizards from there

·         song i associate with them

Lets go with Do It All the Time because that was playing at one point while I was writing this and it kinda fits! kinda

·         favorite picture of them

this one...he looks so kind in it

[wolferals]

audition

Arón Piper imagine

*

saturday, january 18th 11:22pm • Today was Monday, August 22nd and all I've seen since 8am were wannabe actors reading their stupid lines to us pretending they were fucking Johnny Depp himself. God I was so sick of it, but since I've been grounded my dad made me cast people for this movie he was going to direct. Why were you grounded, you may ask. Well let's say, we just moved to Madrid basically to the end of the world since I grew up in America all my life. Yeah, my first days of school didnt really turn out to be super great, my english teacher was super racist in my opinion. She kept making „jokes" about my country/ and at some point i just snapped and told her how she dared to be so fucking racist. My class agreed with me yet my teacher didnt and put me in detention first and then called my dad. So yeah, thats why he's making me do this.

Some might think, its not a punishment to cast people for a „super cool movie" but have u ever been in a all white room for 10 hours listening to the same sentences over and over, being read by the worst people ever? No, exactly.

Its been exactly 4 hours now, its been around 12 when we decided to take a short break to get some food. I walked around the building for a while, grabbed a iced coffee at the bar and then sat down on a couch in the foyer to immediately text my friends from back home about how horrible i was feeling.

I didnt even get to text 5 words until my dad came around the corner saying something like:"Y/n, lets go. The people wont cast themselves. I mean they'd love to but that's our job." He then laughed loudly and almost couldnt stop. One thing about my dad: He thinks he's hilarious but in my opinion he's a little too full of himself. No offense, i love him of course.

Therefore I walked back to the cruel looking white room and sat down on my chair sipping my iced coffee. „Alright, next up, we have a Joshua Hamilton reading for the part of Jamey." I rolled my eyes. Yet again another Jamey. Ive heard the line:"No way Daniel, are you insane?! Have you even thought about the fact that you could get fucking killed?" about 50 times today.

And to be honest, the only person i'd like to get killed right now would be myself.

„Hello, my name is Joshua Hamilton, I'm 22 years old and I'll be reading for the part of Jamey." The tall, skinny looking guy then spoke after *extremely happy looking* entered the room. Well no offense but super happy people make me puke.

He then read his lines, horribly. He was just too enthusiastic and grinning through the entire thing. It was supposed to be a mad Jamey yelling at his brother who was about to attack his ex girlfriend's killer.

Dad then told him, they will call him. But lets be honest here, obviously they wont. • Alright so another 4 hours passed and we had almost all important characters casted, except Jamey. The crew was getting impatient and we were all super tired. „Dad how many are left?" I then asked because I wanted nothing more than this to end. „26." he answered, sounding annoyed. So was I. „Jeez, for fucks sake." I exclaimed and leaned back in my chair. „Y/n, watch your language!" He scoffed and took a sip of his water before leaning back as well.

„Okay next off we have a Arón Piper. He is Spanish-German, which wouldnt quite match with the way we pictured Jamey. But lets get the guy, kay?" Evan, the producer spoke after reading some reviews.

„Mhm." my Dad hummed. He seemed extremely tired and messed up to be fair.

As I said, I was annoyed and super damn hungry but the second this guy walked in, all my senses were on and I couldnt help but stare at him. He was tall, had curly hair, an earring on his left ear, chocolate brown eyes and a smile that could kill. „Hola,, I'm Arón." My dad seemed to like him too because he sat up straight scanning him up and down. „How old are you Arón?" Lucy, the executive producer asked him, smiling as well. „I'm 23." The handsome guy answered calm and sent me his billion dollar smile.

fuck • I smiled back and for whatever fucking reason I just said:"You must be working out, am I right?" Everyone looked at me but I didnt care, I just looked him right in the eyes and saw him laugh. „Y/n what the hell?" My dad whispered sounding pissed yet confused. „Jamey is a fit dude, he goes to the gym 6 times a week. We have to consider the fact that the actor has to be healthy and all as well." I tried to get out of the weird situation but actually I was just wishing for him to take off his shirt to show us -okay, me- his amazing abs I bet he had. „Uhm to be honest, I just dance, thats it. But you could call that a work out since Ive been doing it since I was 7 years old."

The others seemed impressed too, so Lucy cockily said:"So if acting wouldnt work, youd become a professional dancer?" Arón laughed again and answered:"Yeah, probably. But i havent even read my lines yet."

The entire time he was acting his lines, I was just staring at his god like face, every emotion, every move, every little change in his body language was perfect. My dad looked like he was impressed too and he then, after Arón had finished, spoke:"Thank you, Arón. That was amazing!" He smiled happily and answered fully paying attention:"Oh gracias, it means so much coming from you!" He walked up to my dad to shake his hand and then took back his portfolio. „Honey what do you think? Should we put him in round 2?" I looked over to my dad, took a glance at Arón who was smiling cutely at me. „Nah."

Everyone gave me a confused look and in Arón´s eyes I could see pure fear.

„I think we should give him the part.“

My dad smiled, nodded at me and then spoke:“Alright, Arón Piper, congratulations.“

Arón walked over to me and stuck his hand out for me to shake it. I slowly took his hand and, okay that might sound weird, but it felt so damn good to touch him. God I sound like a creep. No but for real his hand was a lot bigger than mine and really warm compared to my -always cold- claws. „Gracias." he said quietly and stared directly into my eyes while smiling. I wanted to say something like:"Of course, you deserve it, you were amazing." but i just couldnt, i wasnt able to look anywhere but into his beautiful brown eyes.

My dad saw that and cleared his throat loudly. „Thank you again Arón, we will call you next week for further information. But for now, since Jamey is the main male protagonist and we will be filming most of the scenes with you, we'd like to invite you and the other main actors to a dinner party tomorrow night. We hope you're free and we would text you further dates later on today."

-„Yes I'm free, that'd be amazing! Thank you so much! See you tomorrow then, bye guys." He grabbed his jacket from off the floor and left the room smiling brightly.

-„We've got it! We found, first of all the perfect Jamey, and we finally have all the actors, people!" Lucy shouted and sighed relieved. „Alright then, lets celebrate!" My dad exclaimed happily and the others stood up after him. „I'll be right out, I'll go to the bathroom real quick." I informed the guys and just simply hit the bathroom next to the audition room. When i checked back to see if the room had been locked, I noticed that a portfolio book was left on the table. I grabbed it, opened it and and noticed it was Arón's.

Right, he grabbed it before, then shook our hands and put it down again. Then he walked out without it.

So I quickly locked the door and ran through the building, past my dad saying:"Be right back." I figured, Arón couldnt have gotten very far, so I sprinted down the stairs, out of the front door of the building and i looked around if I might spot him. I then saw a guy that looked like him walking down the street towards a silver car and i ran as fast as i could to reach him.

„Arón!" I yelled and stopped once I finally reached him. „Yeah?" he was about to get in the car but turned around. „You forgot that." I passed him his book and tried to catch my breath real quick. „Oh god, thank you! I totally forgot about that. Gracias." He took it smiling.

While I was trying to breath, he opened the car door and said:"Just a second." Me, still dying from all the running, I was now leaning against a wall. „You okay?" -„Huh? Yeah. Im.. good." I was kind of embarrassed at how unathletic i was. „U sure?" he came closer and looked actually quite concerned. „Ya dont worry. Uhm.. See you.. tomorrow..at the.. party?" i tried to play it off and stood straight again Arón smiled again and answered:"Of course. Cant wait!" He then walked back to the car and sent me another smile before getting in.

Damn, this guy.

[jawnjendes]

i’m tired too | shawn mendes

university au summer vacay babey, shawn x goth gf

*******just letting yall know that the chapter before this, girl you’re trouble did not appear in the tags when i posted it, so if u havent read it go ahead and do that now :P

masterlist | series playlist

My tongue was between my teeth as I focused on my reflection in my little compact mirror. Carefully, I filled in my eyebrow with dark brown powder, ignoring the people sitting on either side of me on the couch. Having two sets of eyes on me made it hard to carve out the enhanced version of my face, though. I tried to shift in my seat to get them to focus on literally anything else, but neither of them let up.

“She’s so good at that,” Mom said in admiration. She was sitting on my left.

“Isn’t she?” Shawn agreed in the same tone. He was on my right.

I paused and sighed. The previous evening, Aaliyah pointed out that my mom and her brother had some uncanny similarities. I thought she was just bringing light to the fact that they both… adore me. But they had the same mannerisms, like talking with their hands. They were both optimistic as well, unlike me… and my dad. I pretended not to see any similarities until now. I was just glad Aaliyah wasn’t here now to triumph in her discovery.

“Are you guys gonna do this the whole time?” I asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Well, you’re so pretty,” Shawn said, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek.

I leaned away from his touch. “I just did my foundation!”

My mom laughed. “She won’t let you touch her either! I’m glad it’s not just me!”

Shawn gave me a surprised look. He learned just a little too much about me in the last twenty four hours, and it wasn’t stopping anytime soon.

Luckily, my dad, who had been scrolling through his phone on the other side of the couch, piped up. “Shawn, I heard you play guitar?”

That started the music conversation. I was glad to have the attention off of me for once, all anyone asked me about these days was my stupid hospital stay. Plus, I could finish my makeup in peace. Not to mention, Shawn was still convulsing and crying in his sleep, so things were… not ideal at the moment. But he got to talk about his love of music, which was something my dad could relate to.

“You know, I used to be in a rock band,” he said. “Back in eighty-seven, me and my buddies played shows from my parents’ garage. That’s how I met Lucy. She was standing at the front of the audience for every show. We only had about ten people attend if we were lucky, but she was always there.”

Mom placed her hands over her chest fondly. “I think music has a beautiful way of bringing people together.”

You wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at my mother, but she lived for heavy metal. She was the one who introduced me to the symphonic metal bands I listen to now.

“Oh, a hundred percent,” Shawn agreed. Then he told me parents that he and I met at one of his shows at a coffee shop.

Today was much more calm than the last. My parents slept on it, and they decided that they were just happy that I was live. I was just glad they stayed at a hotel, too. I couldn’t imagine being holed up with them after not living with them for a majority of two years. I also wouldn’t know how to explain why my boyfriend was yelling in his sleep every hour.

I really did miss my mom and dad. It kicked in when they had to go home at the end of the week. I was supposed to be home too. None of this was supposed to happen this way.

~

After my parents were gone, I was able to get around the apartment by myself. I didn’t need a babysitter anymore, so I tried to be happy about that. However, my incisions still kept me from doing anything strenuous, which meant I had no excuse not to return to work anymore. Most of what I did was sit behind a desk in a tiny office, so I made my first day back that Friday. I figured I might as well make some type of income to, you know, pay for my books for the next semester and uhhhhhh fucking live. I had to find my independence again somehow.

Anyway, my first day back at work was as mundane as it always was. It was like I wasn’t even gone for three weeks. Stacy gave me a professional “welcome back” and then hit me with the work I missed that I needed to catch up on. I spent the morning adding up gas receipts, entering vehicle information into the computer, and booking service appointments over the phone.

In the afternoon, Jason and Luca came in for their shifts. They approached the window of the office and stopped in their tracks.

“You’re here?” Jason asked in disbelief. “Weren’t you quitting?”

Clearly, no one knew or cared where I had been lately. I mean, I must have told Stacy to keep it confidential while I was high on morphine. Even then, I wasn’t exactly popular here.

“I had surgery, and now I can’t hop on a plane home,” I explained shortly.

“Oh, so you were dying and you weren’t planning on telling us?” Luca said, holding a hand up to my face in a dramatic fashion. “How dare you.”

I blinked once and then got back to adding numbers from the stack of receipts. The two of them entered the office, and that was when another question popped into my mind.

“Who covered me while I was gone?”

“Not me!” Jason said as he went to his desk at the back of the office.

Luca stood by mine and puckered his lips like he was thinking to himself. That said it all for me.

“Shoulda known.” I rolled my eyes. “Not a goddamn thing was done, and it’s month-end.”

“Hey, Stacy told me to book appointments,” Luca said defensively. “I lost commission these last few weeks because of that. I sell cars. I’m no receptionist.”

Bet he didn’t even book appointments either. Bet Stacy told him to cover all of my responsibilities. Luca just did not give a flying fuck about anything.

I spent my lunch hour in the car. Normally, Shawn would have come to meet me so we could eat together… or not eat. He was working too, though, and from the texts he sent me, he had been working on a flower arrangement for a wedding. He was going to be busy all day. When did we become a boring, married couple?

“You’ll never believe who they put to cover me while I was out,” I typed out in a text to Shawn. I munched on my white rice as I sent it.

“Who?!” he replied within a few minutes. I could almost hear the enthusiasm.

“Fucking Luca. He did fuck all, so I have a bunch to catch up on. Plus, it’s the end of the month, so we all have to close a bunch of sales and warranties and all this other boring crap. I’ll be home a little late.” Send. More white rice. God, I’m tired of rice.

My phone buzzed again while I was scrolling on Instagram. Shawn had replied. “Aw. Ok hon. I’m gonna have a couple of friends over tonight, just letting you know. Some of them want to see how you’re doing.”

“Ok. I’ll see you at home.”

“Love that you see my place as a home now :)”

Uhhhhhhhhh… Who’s gonna tell him? Who has to remind him that I was staying at his place for convenience, because I am recovering from a surgery? That I literally almost died and my complications kept me from travelling long distance…? Who’s gonna tell him?

~

I was horrifically fatigued when I got home. I seemed to have forgotten that stressing over numbers and annoying phone calls was mentally straining. Maybe travelling by car wasn’t a great idea either, but how could I not drive? I had a job to go to. I had an apartment to get back to. As I walked up to the front door, I wished that I didn’t have to worry about things like income and bills to pay. I just wanted to lie down and not get up again.

Walking into the apartment, I realized I probably wouldn’t even get to do that.

First of all, the door was unlocked. Shawn had given me a key, but apparently I didn’t need it this time. I was met with music and laughter as stepped over the threshold. I found people, strangers, when I peered into the kitchen.

It was a small kitchen, but there were five frat boy looking guys all holding plastic red cups. Among them were three breathtakingly pretty brunettes. I’m talking Instagram models, wearing sparkling crop tops and skin tight leggings. They were all laughing about something until they saw me at the doorway.

“Rock on, emo queen,” one of the frat boys said, holding up the rock and roll sign.

Yeah. Even in my work uniform, which was a button up with the company name on, was in fact black. Not to mention, the eyeliner I had put on in the morning smudged so much throughout the day that I now looking like a raccoon having a mental breakdown.

Awkwardly, I continued padding down the hall, finding more people standing and talking amongst themselves. Again, more ridiculously pretty girls and their dates. All I could smell was weed. I tried to keep a stink eye off my face, but it was the only thing that made people move out of the way so I could get to the living room.

Finally, there were people I recognized. Brian, Connor, Teddy, and Shawn were among a bigger group of strangers sat on the L-shaped couch. So this was a couple of friends?

Shawn noticed me first and raised his arms in the air, making me notice the red cup in his hand. “Look who’s here!”

That caused several pairs of eyes to turn to me, causing me to feign a smile. Everyone raised their drinks and cheered. Oh god, I was in a room of drunk toddlers. I was in a whole ass apartment of drunk toddlers. And my fucking boyfriend was the toddler hosting the other toddlers.

“Come, sit here,” Shawn said, waving me over. “I missed you!”

I still felt awkward and tired and far from the vibe everyone else was currently on. I stepped over and went to take the empty space next to Shawn, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto his lap. My face went hot at the gesture, but not because of the affection, or the fact that he chose to rest his hands on top of my thighs. His chin rested on my shoulder, and I could smell the alcohol in his breath. Oh jeez.

“Man, let your girl breathe!” Brian joked, seeing the discomfort on my face.

“It’s fine,” I said sheepishly. I noticed several empty plastic cups and shot glasses on the coffee table. It wasn’t even ten o’clock yet.

“Yeah,” Shawn agreed, “I mean, I’d sit on her lap, but my poor baby had surgery. Wouldn’t wanna hurt her.”

Before I could retort, Teddy spoke up. She, too, had her own cup and was very obviously under the influence. “Oh yeah! How did that go? What even happened?”

I was going to reluctantly explain, but Shawn spoke for me again.

“My little fighter looked death in the face and said ‘fuck you!’”

Several gasps and fascinated expressions came from the group on the couch. I resisted the urge to plant my face in my hands. There goes my business, out in the open for everyone to put their noses into.

“You almost died?” Connor asked in shock.

“Ooh, story time!” Teddy announced. “Spill! Now!”

Been home for ten minutes, and I was not in my pajamas lying under the covers. For me, this was a couple of steps away from a worst case scenario. All eyes on me, expected to talk about things I wanted to keep quiet about. And it was all prompted by my drunk boyfriend, of all people.

“I had a bowel resection, and then I hemorrhaged,” I explained curtly. Then, I moved Shawn’s hands off my thighs and got to my feet. “And now I have to stay here and recover for the whole summer. The end.”

Some people booed at the length of my story. I’m sure I was expected to tell an awesome tale about the battle against my infected guts, but I was really not in the mood for that. I had to tell the story twice at work, and that was enough for me.  I didn’t really care about being a massive party pooper at the moment.

“Baby, where you going?” asked Shawn as I stepped away from the group.

I sighed and turned back to him. “I’m gonna change out of my uniform, and then I’m going to sleep.”

He pouted and got up to approach me. He came up close, so things felt a little more private. “Come have fun with me. We never have fun anymore.”

The plea in his voice was a jab straight to the heart. But I couldn’t find it in me to change my mind and stay with him.

“I’m not really in a party mood,” I said apologetically. “I had a long day, I’m really tired.”

Shawn’s face fell even more. His hazy, tipsy eyes filled with concern. “You want me to kick everyone out? I’ll do it! I’ll do it right now!”

I quickly got ahold of his wrist before he could rally the troops. I already had enough guilt on my shoulders. “No! No, no, no, don’t do that.” I held his hand in both of mine, and I ran my fingers over the swallow tattoo. “Have fun with your friends. You’re right, things haven’t been fun lately, and I’m sorry for that. You deserve a good time, even if I’m not there. Just have a drink for me, okay?”

He could have put out some things about how the party would be better if I was there. He could have sweet talked me into sitting on his lap again for the whole night. Instead, he squeezed my hand and said, “Straight tequila, right?”

Relief washed over me. “Yes. Remember to drink water too.”

“I gotchu, honey.”  Then, he leaned in a pressed a sweet kiss to my lips. “Keep the bed warm for me.”

The taste of alcohol on his lips made me one percent more likely to join him in the festivities. The other ninety nine percent yeeted my ass to the bedroom. Once I was alone, the crushing feeling of deliberate isolation sent me to the surface of the bed.

I was the type of tired that kept me from actually sleeping. I could sleep through plenty of external noise, living in a college dorm was enough experience. It was just my foggy brain and burning throat getting in the way. I grabbed my Switch from the nightstand and played Smash Bros, tuning out the sounds of people having a better time than me.

Every so often, I heard people cheering or chanting, “chug, chug, chug!” I remained curled up in bed, fighting people online to get my frustrations out. Taylor Swift’s Love Story came on around 1AM and everyone screamed the lyrics, while I brought my t-shirt to the bridge of my nose to catch oncoming tears. I felt guilty and selfish every moment I wished Shawn was here to spoon me til I fell asleep. He spent so much time worrying about me, he deserved to forget it all once in a while. God knows I wanted to do the same, but my insides were still recovering.

I had put my Switch away and I was lying on my side by the time people were saying their goodbyes out in the apartment. Some guy was praising Shawn for having such “epic parties” as they put it. Weird, this was the first party of his that I witnessed. We’ve been together just over six months. How much of himself was he holding back because of me?

“Whoo!” I heard Shawn yell, followed by a glass shattering loudly.

The sound woke me up a little. Meaning, my legs got me standing and dashing out to the living room. My eyes scanned the place, which was now vacant of people and full of trash, but I found Shawn sitting on the floor just outside the hallway.

The place was a mess. Half empty cups, food, and mysterious stains covered every surface in the apartment. I was only worried about my boyfriend.

“Hey, cutie,” I said affectionately, bending down so we were at eye level.

Shawn’s eyes were hooded, but sparkling. He gave me a toothy grin and held up a peace sign.

Then, Teddy emerged from the kitchen. “Oh, did I wake you? I dropped a cup, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t exactly sleeping,” I told her, still looking at Shawn. I waved my hand in front of his face, only for him to blink slowly. “Uh, how much has he had to drink?”

Teddy chewed her lip as she thought about it. “I lost count after his fourth shot.”

“My girlfriend told me to have ten tequilas,” Shawn slurred, belching right after. “I think I had like, six.”

I held my breath and waved off the stench. Someone was in for a long night, longer than normal. I didn’t think he would take me seriously, but then again, I did not tell him to have ten shots of straight tequila.

“Oh yeah, he mixed his liquor too,” Teddy said.

I sighed and moved Shawn’s long arm over my shoulders. “Okay, vamos mi chulo. Let’s get you to bed.”

Teddy stepped in to help get the six foot toddler to his feet. Shawn stumbled and swayed, his long arms hanging heavily on our shoulders. I baby talked him as we slowly strolled to the bedroom, and I told Teddy I could take it from there.

Shawn burped again as we got closer to the bed, and he groaned. “Ugh… this isn’t fun anymore.”

“Okay, let’s go to the bathroom,” I said, steering him the other way.

It took a minute to get him positioned in front of the toilet. It took less than a second for him to lean over the bowl and return everything he drank. As much as the sights and sounds of vomiting brought me dark and lonely flashbacks, I went and sat on the edge of the bathtub. I rubbed Shawn’s back and practically waited for it to end.

Once that was overwith, I really couldn’t go back to sleep. I managed to lay Shawn down on the mattress. The sparkle in his eyes was gone, now replaced with chilling emptiness. I took the liberty of pulling his leather boots off his feet, and I removed his socks as well. Then, I draped the comforter over his long body.

“Stay with me,” Shawn mumbled, his arm reaching out to me. “Let’s forget all the bad shit…”

It seems that no amount of alcohol could make him not think about the last couple of weeks. My heart began to ache all over again.

“Go to sleep, okay?” I said gently. “I’ll be with you when you go to sleep.”

Shawn whined. “You always die in my sleep. I love you too much to let you go.”

I had a feeling that that’s what he had been dreaming about. But I really could not get myself to lie down with him. I was too antsy from the vomiting.

“Wait for me, okay?” I told him, stroking his hair. “I’m only gonna be a few minutes, and I’ll come back.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He’s drunk. He’s going to sleep no matter what.

Once Shawn was all tucked into bed, I left the room and quietly shut the door behind me. In the living room, Teddy was picking up plastic cups and shoving them into a giant trash bag. I really wasn’t expecting her to still be here. Wordlessly, I began helping her clean up. Anything to get my beating heart to slow down.

“What were you doing this whole time if you weren’t sleeping?” she asked me. “Was the music too loud?”

“No. It wasn’t anything from the party,” I replied, scooping up paper plates and used napkins. “Just had a long day. I wasn’t in the mood for a party.”

“Oh.”

She glanced at me a couple of times as she dumped more trash into the bag. This was supposed to be the part where I bare my soul to my boyfriend’s friend and make her my friend, but… Enough of my business was out there already.

Teddy, however, was persistent. “So, how come you didn’t want visitors at the hospital? Or when you got out, for that matter?”

I busied myself with fixing the sofa cushions so I could come up with a decent answer. “Uh, I like my privacy. Especially in moments where things are messy.”

“Hm. Well, aren’t messy moments the times when you need friends the most?”

That thought lingered in the air as we continued tidying up the living room. I could have had my video game club friends there, or Shawn’s friends, but instead I left most of the burden to Shawn himself. What kind of a person am I?

At last, Teddy got the last of the garbage in the bag, and she tied it shut. Then, we moved onto the kitchen. More cups, spilled booze, and the broken glass from earlier. Oh, how I did not miss house parties. I was at the prime age of partying, being 21. I should have been the type to be as drunk as my boyfriend was, to just have fun and forget the stresses of life. But I found myself on a completely different level than the people who were here tonight.

“Do you stay up late often?” Teddy asked, trying to fill the silence yet again.

We both paused as the sounds of loud, monotonous humming came from the bedroom. Teddy scrunched her brow and tilted her head. My shoulders tensed with chills, like ice cold water had been spilled down the back of my shirt.

“To answer your question,” I told her, “yes.”

She followed me to the room, but she stayed at the doorway while I went to Shawn’s quivering body.

“Baby, wake up,” I said urgently, shaking his arm. “Wake up, it’s only a dream, baby…”

He was on his back, head moving from side to side in harsh moments. He groaned, completely spastic, so I coaxed him some more.

My voice shook. “Shawn… please. I’m here, please-”

His eyes flew open with a loud gasp. He sat up, breathing hard and fast. I placed my hands on his broad shoulders, getting his attention.

“Hey, look at me. You’re okay, it’s okay. You’re safe.”

Brown eyes were wide with panic, and then sadness. Within a second, they were filling with tears, and Shawn was wrapping his arms around my waist. With a shaky sob, he buried his head in my neck and cried quietly.

I had a pained looked on my face while he wasn’t looking. I just held him and stroked his hair. I was whispering the things I always said when he was in this state. “You’re safe with me. It was just a dream, it’s not real.”

I was able to coax him back to sleep for the time being. It was only going to happen again, though. I didn’t know how to stop it from happening.

When I stepped out of the room again, I leaned against the wall by the doorway. Teddy was gone, probably fled the uncomfortable situation. Can’t say I blame her. I sighed heavily and brought the palms of my hands to my misty eyes. I was beyond exhausted now. I was at a loss.

A hand went on my shoulder all of a sudden, making me jump. I looked up, finding that Teddy was still here, glass of water in her hand. Her blue eyes were concerned and upset, like the world had just ended in front of her. I pushed past the feelings, though.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were still here,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “Uh, did you need a ride home?”

She shook her head and held up the glass. “My fiance is coming soon. Here, drink.”

I offered a weak smile and accepted the gesture. As I sipped, Teddy said something that threw me off.

“He told me he was handling his nightmares. Had it all taken care of.”

“Why would he say that?” I asked in return.

“Didn’t want anyone to worry, I’m guessing. But I can see how tired he is. I can see how shaken up he is. I mean, he never goes as hard as he did tonight with the liquor. And worst of all, he hasn’t written a song in weeks. He hasn’t been in the studio at all.”

And it was my own damn fault.

“Does he tell you what he dreams about?” I dared to ask.

“No,” Teddy said. “I don’t think he tells anybody. I think he needs something beyond our help.”

“You’re right. I need to talk to him about this, because I know he’s not gonna talk to me.”

She placed her both her hands on my shoulders. “Hey. I’ve seen Shawn with quite a few girls over the last couple of years. I’ve never seen him head over heels until you came along. He loves you so much, he can’t fathom the idea of losing you. He loves you so much that he won’t talk to you about this because he doesn’t want you to feel bad.”

I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to make me feel better, because I was barely coherent as I spoke. “I already do…”

~

For once, I was up and running before Shawn was. His last nightmare happened around six in the morning, and after that he slept normally. The hangover probably had something to do with that. I left him a glass of water and painkillers on the nightstand, and then I went to the kitchen to attempt a type of breakfast.

By the time had eggs scrambled on a plate, Shawn was stumbling out of the room, glass of water in hand. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, and then he ran his fingers through his curly hair. He was still in the navy blue t-shirt he wore last night, but he ditched his jeans and went for the underwear look.

I met him halfway from the kitchen, presenting him with his mediocre breakfast. “Morning, sunshine.”

“For me?” he asked, and I nodded. “You’re the best.”

He sat at the round glass dining table as opposed to going to the living room. He must have been really hungover. I sat next to him and basked in the silence as he ate. My hands were tingling from the nerves.

“How ya feelin’?” I asked in a stupidly gently voice, reaching over to rub his arm.

He hummed through a mouthful of eggs. When he swallowed, he spoke. “My head is pounding. But I took the pills you left for me. Thank you for that, by the way. Who cleaned the apartment?”

“Me and Teddy. After you knocked out, we just decided to tidy up so no one had to worry about it the next day.”

“Well, thank you. One less thing to worry about.” He ate in silence some more, and then spoke some words that truly had me puzzled. “I slept the whole night for once. Feels good.”

Must be nice to not remember your night terrors. However, I had to tell him.

“Shawn…” I said slowly. “You woke up like five times. You had a panic attack one of those times.”

He slowed his chewing, staring at the table top in thought. He stayed quiet, and it freaked me out. He practically shut down, and it scared me for multiple reasons.

“I don’t know how to help you,” I admitted, watching him carefully.

“It’ll wear off,” he said weakly.

“You don’t know that.” I had to be firm. “I don’t know what you’re seeing in your sleep, but I know it scares you so much that you won’t talk about it. And you talk about everything, so that’s how I know it’s bad.”

Shawn looked down, still silent. Not giving me a possible solution to this. Does he even want help? Or am I just exaggerating and losing my mind?

“You don’t have to talk to me about it,” I continued. “Just talk to somebody. Last night, Teddy told me that you were taking care of all of this, but you’re not. I don’t know how you’re functioning during the day, because I’ve been exhausted and sleep deprived. I know you are too, and I’m not the only one who sees it. I, I don’t know how much longer I can watch you go through this.”

Again, he was quiet. He was never quiet. Shawn was feisty and passionate, ready to say anything to prove his point at any given moment. He had strayed from the Shawn Mendes I loved in such a short amount of time. It was happening so fast, watching him slip through my fingers. It felt like I was the one in a nightmare.

“Please,” I mumbled, my voice quavering. My bottom lip began to quiver.

Shawn suddenly looked up at me, eyes wide at the sounds coming out of me. Even when he was sinking, he still paid more attention when I was about to cry.

“I’ll, I’ll give you my therapist’s number,” I offered, losing my composure. “I-I don’t know if she’s taking anymore clients, but I-I-I’ll give up my sessions for you. I’ll do anything if it means you’ll get some help. Shawn, I… I’m begging you. I’m begging you to get help, because I don’t know what to do anymore… a-and it’s because of me why you’re like this, a-a-and I’m sorry-”

I gasped when I realized Shawn had placed his hands on either side of my face. His thumbs rubbed my tear stricken cheeks, and he spoke calmly and gently.

“Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll get help. I promise. I don’t wanna go through this anymore either. I promise I’ll figure this out.”

I guess that’s how I knew I was falling in love. The want and need for him to be okay was so great, there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make that happen. The fact that he was not okay was ripping me a new one. I couldn’t even breathe when he slept. I couldn’t even think about how much I wanted to be in California, because then I’d have to think about leaving Shawn all alone. Who would talk him down from his night terrors?

My hospital stay alone triggered nightmares and eerie silence from him. But what would Shawn have done if I had died altogether?

[patkiloran]

HEADRUSH BY MILKK

(with my commentary as i go on listening to the album)

90S BABY

- okay the beginning is very milkk-ey - man i already love this album - i dont udnerstan anything hes saying - these lyrics are so good its like, every single line is neccessary - those backing vo c  al s!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - i dont really know what to say,,, yeah me too oh my god - THAT WAS IT oh my thats such a good album opener

UNSAID - the transition from 90s baby!!!!!!!! - man pat is such a great producer he should go and produce like, ariana grande (to make her music better) - pat kiloran saying “chicks” is my kink - his voice??? in the “something should be , leftunsaid” ???? I LOVE - what i love about milkk is that you listen to a song and you just know its them because the production has so many signature elements

HERE IN MY HEAD  - ok i havent listened to this yet but i feel like this is going to be an introverted anthem something like how soon is now by the smiths - this is too relatable ugh i hate it and love it at the same time - agoraphobia oh man pat i feel you - i love the groovy guitar riff its so chill but very punchy at the same time - ??? there was like a second of complete silence wtf

THINKING BOUT U - ahhhhh i obviously already know this song but i love it so muchhh - ALL MY WORDS JUST GET IN THE WAY UWU UWU UWU IVE BEEN THINKING BOUT U BABY  - im bopping so hard rn i love this song - *snapping my fingers to the beat*

HONEST - i want to die to pat whisper-singing - the two founds at 0:37 sound so nice?? idk why but they do - oh my and the mines and- - this is such a great chill song, like you put it on and just lay in your bed ugh i need the cd - it doesnt even feel 4 and a half minutes long jesus

UP ON US - okay this was a single too but i dont know it that well - it sounds like a charlie puth song and i was OBSESSED with charlie puth in 2016 so i guess thats good? - THE GROOOOOOVE IN THE CHORUS UGH sometimes i really love being a bassist - idk if is counts as a falsetto but the chorus oh man i lo v e - also the backing vocals!!!!!!!!

THE GARDEN (I’LL BE ALRIGHT) - woo they put two singles in a row - the “i should’ve been an accountant” always makes me want to cry - everytime i hear “the garden” in the song im like YESYES THATS THE TITLE HE SAID THE TITLE even tho ive heard it probably 20 times by now lmao - milkk please collab with joji MEAN TO YOU - OH MY GOD THE RIFF!!!!! THE RIFF SOUNDS SO AWESOME AND SO ORGANIC - the riff is probably not that quality but its unexpected from milkk sksksk - this is probably the punkiest milkk will ever go so im E N J O Y  I N G (sorry, the swmrs album also came out today lmao) - YES IM BOPPING MY HEAD  - another second of random silence ??? - ooooh the random distortion at the end i  s t a n

STUPID - okay yeah another single (that i love with my whole heart) - pat calling himself dumb is a mood - his voice is so soothing ugh im not saying pat kiloran should do asmr but pat kiloran should do asmr - im tapping my feet and snapping my fingers at the same time ‘tis the power of milkk

HEADRUSH - Title Song™ - okay not to be depressing again but the robot voice is exactly how i imagine oppy talking - DID SHE SAY “WELCOME TO OUR HEADRUSH” - i dont really know what to say intensifies - *insert a clip of me saying pat kiloran is a great producer* - “you dont even know who i am” oh my god thats true i really dont - that bass drop oofh

I THOUGHT I LOST YOU - AN ACOUSTIC SONG AKSJDSHDFSHJ I WASNT EXPECTING THIS AAAA - THIS IS SO BEAUTIUL OH MY GOD I AM CRYING!!! AND IM NOT EVEN A PERSON THAT CRIES OFTEN OH MY G  OD  - THIS IS SUCH A HEARTBREAKING SONG BUT IN A GOOD WAY  - can i claim this song - THE FALSETTOS - okay im claiming this song - THIS SOUNDS LIKE ITS A CAMPFIRE SETTING - @ milkk please perform at our campfire on school trips - can my parents please stop blasting adele i need to appreciate this beauty - its so soft and gentle but at the same time so powerful

ANNALISE - damn, 6 minutes - “i think i met you on a monday, what were you wearing?” is such an adhd mood lmao i remember such dumb stuff and dates and names but my visual memory is so horrible - this is such a beautiful song too oh my god and the lyrics - i feel like time has stopped while listening to this song - how did they do that - not many bands can do this to me oh my god - the instrumental sounds sometimes like the beginning to lazarus by david bowie ugh why am i crying again - god so. so that was it. the debut full-length album by milkk. headrush. and i have no words. i love this record so so much, it makes me feel at peace but want to dance at the same time and i think that’s perfect. also i’m so proud of the boys? like i bet you, one day they’re going to become so huge, selling out big arenas and appearing on international charts. and i can say i’ve been here since basically day one

[marksider89]

(Just a little preview of a fanfic that I’m working on)

[WINSTON has entered DANKALICIOUS] WINSTON:  ... WINSTON:  Who changed the name? [D.VA has entered DANKALICIOUS] D.VA:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ WINSTON:  Why am I not surprised? WINSTON:  For the last time, Hana, this isn't a chatroom. WINSTON:  This is an emergency communications channel. WINSTON:  It's supposed to be, anyway. D.VA:  not my fault u dont know how to run a chatroom  :P WINSTON:  I'm just going to move on. WINSTON:  ...for the sake of my sanity. WINSTON:  @TRACER I have a mission for you. [TRACER has entered DANKALICIOUS] TRACER:  Winston TRACER:  luv TRACER:  why? TRACER:  You know it's my week off. TRACER:  You promised me n Emily that you'd give me 1 week off per month. [EMILY has entered DANKALICIOUS] EMILY:  ಠ_ಠ WINSTON:  I'm sorry. WINSTON:  I really am. WINSTON:  but we've recieved a report that Widowmaker is in London WINSTON:  and you're the only one in the area WINSTON:  so 76 and I would like you to investigate. [SOMBRA has entered DANKALICIOUS] SOMBRA:  lol yeah shes in london D.VA:  what r u doing here?! SOMBRA:  Ive been here for months SOMBRA:  I was hoping to spy on u all SOMBRA:  get some intel SOMBRA:  or at least some juicy goss SOMBRA:  but all you guys talk about is random crap SOMBRA:  stuff like SOMBRA:  who wants pizza? SOMBRA:  wheres my hat? SOMBRA:  who clogged the toilet? SOMBRA:  anyone seen my ballgag? WINSTON:  ...What? SOMBRA:  you don't wanna know. WINSTON:  ... WINSTON:  I think you're right. SOMBRA:  XD SOMBRA:  anyway [SOMBRA has added WIDOWMAKER to DANKALICIOUS] SOMBRA:  @WIDOWMAKER get in here [WIDOWMAKER has entered DANKALICIOUS] WIDOWMAKER:  What do you want, Sombra? SOMBRA:  lol welcome to the overwatch chatroom WINSTON:  It's not...nevermind. WIDOWMAKER:  You hacked into Overwatch's communicators and didn't tell anyone? SOMBRA:  I am under no obligation to do so SOMBRA:  besides, they havent said anything worth telling talon about SOMBRA:  moving on SOMBRA:  ur in london right? WIDOWMAKER:  Yes. WIDOWMAKER:  It is just a simple reconnaissance mission. WIDOWMAKER:  I hate these types of missions. SOMBRA:  I thought u were supposed to be patient. WIDOWMAKER:  I am. WIDOWMAKER:  ...when I am waiting to kill. WIDOWMAKER:  But I'm not allowed to kill while on recon. WIDOWMAKER:  Unless I hear otherwise from Talon. WIDOWMAKER:  Or if I have been compromised WIDOWMAKER:  and it's absolutely necessary. WIDOWMAKER:  ...but even I cannot fight ennui after a week of following some grotesquely obese businessman around and cataloging his movements. EMILY:  ... EMILY:  So that's her, right? EMILY:  The one who killed Mondatta? TRACER:  ...yeah. WIDOWMAKER:  Oui. WIDOWMAKER:  That was me. WIDOWMAKER:  One of my finest kills. EMILY:  So you gonna do it Lena? TRACER:  "do it"? EMILY:  You know... EMILY:  What we talked about.  ;) TRACER:  You were serious?? EMILY:  Of course. TRACER:  (>////<) EMILY:  Lol EMILY:  You're so cute when ur flustered.  <3 TRACER:  ... TRACER:  well... TRACER:  if you're absolutely sure... EMILY:  I am. TRACER:  you realize that im gonna go all-in on this, right? EMILY:  I wouldn't expect any less.  ^_^ EMILY:  Go get her, luv.  <3 TRACER:  ... TRACER:  <3 D.VA:  i have no idea whats going on D.VA:  but i think i like it SOMBRA:  me too  :P TRACER:  @WIDOWMAKER WIDOWMAKER:  Oui? TRACER:  How bout taking a break from watching some fat bloke shove burgers into his gob... TRACER:  and indulge me in a little bet? WIDOWMAKER:  A bet? TRACER:  yeah WIDOWMAKER:  ... SOMBRA:  dont worry araña SOMBRA:  I won't tell talon if you do it WIDOWMAKER:  I'm listening. TRACER:  alright then TRACER:  first, the stakes TRACER:  if i win, you join overwatch TRACER:  become me n Emilys gf TRACER:  and u let dr ziegler try to undo what talon did to u WIDOWMAKER:  ...and when you lose? TRACER:  ha TRACER:  nice try TRACER:  if i lose TRACER: Emily n i will join Talon and become ur personal slaves D.VA: !!! D.VA: WHAAT!? TRACER: ..and by that i mean you are the only one who can give us orders or have any physical contact with us. WINSTON: Lena you can't be serious! TRACER: relax, you haven't even heard the challenge yet WIDOWMAKER: I confess, your confidence makes me curious as to what the challenge will be. TRACER: Alright then, the challenge: TRACER: You come over to me n emilys apartment TRACER: take off ur clothes TRACER: and get on our bed TRACER: and i get 10 minutes to try and give u an orgasm D.VA: omg SOMBRA: ooo i like it WIDOWMAKER: ...that's it? TRACER: Yep. That's it. WIDOWMAKER: Is this a joke? TRACER: no joke TRACER: u in? WINSTON: Lena, WINSTON: Are you seriously willing to join Talon and become a slave... WINSTON: just so you can have sex with Widowmaker??? TRACER: I know what im doing, winston. TRACER: ur just gonna have to trust me on this one. WINSTON: ... WINSTON: Emily, are you really alright with this? EMILY: I know my girl... EMILY:  and I know she'll win. WINSTON: I'm honestly not sure how to respond to all of this. TRACER: well, to be fair, Widow hasn't agreed to the bet yet TRACER: @WIDOWMAKER well? WIDOWMAKER: Do you even know the changes that have been made to me? TRACER: yeah, yeah, i know TRACER: slowed heart, dulled nerves, supressed emotions TRACER: if anything, that put the odds in ur favor, yeah? WIDOWMAKER: Then I accept your challenge. TRACER: Righto TRACER: Just make ur way to kings row TRACER: let me know when u get there TRACER: & i'll pm u where to go from there WIDOWMAKER: Very well. WIDOWMAKER: I shall see you soon, chérie. [WIDOWMAKER has left DANKALICIOUS]

**EDIT**  This story is now finished and available to read on Archive of Our Own  --->  https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892475/chapters/31967343

[dovechim]

jimin 77!! hope you're having a wonderful day ❣️

hi bb! i’m having a great day

ok so another anon a while back asked for a drabble and i was stuck as to how to write but this gave me inspiration! i hope you dont mind that i combined the two!! 

⇢ this is a drabble for my fic the ocean, please read that first if u havent :D

100 ways to say ily drabble game77: “Call me if you need anything.” + mermaid!jiminword count: 1.5k

“Chim,are you sure?” You’ve asked this question approximately a million times over,but the mock stern expression on his face doesn’t change. “You’ll be okayalone?”“Babe, it’s just your room, I’m sure I’ll be fine for a few hours,” Jimin rollshis eyes from his position still snuggled in your bed, with the covers pulledup to his chin and he looks so cuddly and soft that you can’t help but smile.

“Joywon’t be back today, and I left you some food in the fridge, you’ll remember toeat right?” You brush his light gray hair out of his eyes tenderly, feeling hisforehead for any signs of the fever that plagued him last night. These feversare pretty common and harmless, caused from a prolonged absence of the sea, andyou should be used to your boyfriend’s ailments by now. But it’s his stubbornnessthat worries you the most. You begged and pleaded for him to just spend a nightin the ocean so that he can get better, but stubborn as he is, he argues thathe can’t bring you along with him, and spending a day in your bed surrounded byyour scent is so much better.

Jimincloses his eyes at your touch, and mumbles an agreement.

“Imean it Chim. Call me if you need anything okay? I taught you how to use thephone the other day, do you remember?”

“Iremember,” he says obediently. 

Youpress a kiss to his cheek in response. “Get well soon baby. I’ll see you afterdance.”

Withone last glance at his sleeping form, you let yourself out of the room quietly.

*

Yourefuse to keep your phone on silent mode like you usually do for class in caseJimin calls and you don’t hear it, so luckily Seolhyun unnie isn’t here today.You can feel that your concentration isn’t at its best, your spins slightlyuncontrolled and off balance. For the first time ever, you start counting downthe minutes until class ends and you can hurry back to make sure Jimin isn’tburning up in his fever.

Youmake it through class without your phone ringing, although you’re not sure if it’sa cause for relief or worry considering how stubborn and unwilling Jimin iswhen it comes to asking for help. You hastily change out of your dance shoesinto flip flops when your phone rings, and your heart leaps into your mouth.But when you look at the display screen, it’s only Joy.

“Joy!Is everything okay at home?” Joy had told you that she was going off campus fora few days to settle some family matters and wouldn’t be back until next week,which was why you felt comfortable letting Jimin stay in your room to recoverfrom his fever this time.

“Babe,everything’s fine at home. Which is why I wanted to tell you… I came backearly.” There’s a note of hesitation in her voice, which is very unlikely ofher since she usually just blurts out whatever comes to mind most of the time.

“Oh,”you sling your tote over one shoulder and push open the door of the dancestudio. “Like back on campus…?”

“______,”her voice over the phone sounds muffled, and you frown in confusion, strugglingto hear her better. “It’s your boyfriend, he’s-”

Beforeshe can say anymore, your heart leaps straight into overdrive even as itplunges down into your stomach, and you almost drop your phone. It’s Jimin,your thoughts are filled with nothing but images of him passed out in yourroom, pale and sickly, too weak to reach for the phone, which is why all thistime you didn’t even receive a call if not for Joy. It’s all your fault, and youberate yourself for leaving him alone even when he’s sick like this.

Theshort distance from the dance studio to the dormitories seems even longer thanusual, and your hands are shaking so badly that you can barely find the rightkey, let alone unlock the door properly. After a few tries, you throw open thedoor and scan the room, but Jimin isn’t in your bed anymore. The covers arethrown aside, and the room is empty. Just as you’re about to break down intotears, you notice that the attached bathroom light is on, and the door is leftslightly open. 

Youpush open the door gingerly, bracing yourself for the worst. Jimin lying in apool of his own blood, Jimin gasping for air in a puddle of water-

“Hey!Why did you hang up so fast!” Joy is standing in front of the curtains that arehalf drawn to conceal the bathtub. Your eyes are immediately drawn to Jimin’sfigure lying in the tub of water, his arms braced on the sides of the tub andhis hair damp and the water level stopping just below his chest.

“Jimin,are you okay?” Your eyes dart back and forth between Jimin and Joy. “Whatsgoing on here?”

Joytakes in your harried expression, and by now she’s used to your bouts ofanxiety, so she places a calming hand on your shoulder. “_____, calm down,everything’s fine. It’s just, when I got back early to the dorms, I heardrunning water in the bathroom and I thought you forgot to turn it off. So Ientered the bathroom to switch it off and that’s when I see your boyfriend inthe tub… not naked but worse… half naked and with a freaking awesome mermaidtail.”

That’swhen your eyes stray down to beneath the water and land on his tail, whichtakes up most of the space in the bathtub such that the fanned tail restsagainst the opposite wall. The glimmering scales, damp with water droplets,give off an iridescent glow that illuminates the entire bathroom, and with thatyou catch Jimin’s eye.

Hecan’t maintain eye contact for longer than a few seconds, looking terriblyguilty, but also with more colour in his cheeks, you note with a sense ofrelief. That sense of relief is quickly followed by a fresh wave of anxiety, asyou race to come up with an explanation as to why your boyfriend is currentlyin a bathtub with a mermaid’s tail on his lower body.

“-so of course I had to call you! I didn’t realise it would freak you out thismuch, but I suppose if I had a boyfriend this good at cosplay, I’d want to keepit a secret too.” 

Wait,what? Cosplay?

BehindJoy, Jimin is raising his eyebrows dramatically. Go with it, he mouths.

“Ohuhm yeah! I thought you might find it weird or something, and like move outimmediately,” you laugh in what is hopefully a convincing way.

“Butit looks so real,” eyes wide, Joy canonly stare at Jimin’s tail. “Can I touch it?”

“Ofcourse,” Jimin looks like he’s basking in the attention, and places his handsbehind his head, flexing his abs while he’s at it. “I have one of the besttails back home.”

“Backhome? You mean there are others who do this too? Oh my god I have to meetthem!!” Joy brushes a finger over a few scales at the end of his tail, andJimin twitches a little at the contact. “You can feel that? Wow, what kind ofmaterial did you use to make this? I could surely do with a new leotard in thiscolour too, right ______?” You shoot a stern glare at Jimin in response. “Um, what he means is that… heand a couple of friends in Busan do this for fun… it’s not a big deal really.But you can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Ofcourse I won’t tell anyone! But are you kidding me? It’s a huge deal!” Still fascinated by the way the light reflects off thefin of his tail, Joy runs her fingers along his scales once more. “You have akiller lower body. I bet half the guys in our dance class would die to have onelike this.”

Jiminpositively glows at her compliment. A little miffed by how much he’s enjoyingthis attention, you clear your throat.

“Joy,I think Seolhyun unnie wanted to see you after you got back,” you open thebathroom door a little wider, ready to usher her out.

Atthe sound of her name, Joy straightens immediately, and you almost feel alittle bad for scaring her like this, but if not, she looks like she couldspend the rest of the day admiring Jimin’s tail among other parts of him, andlooking at your boyfriend half naked for a lot longer than you can tolerate.

“Remember,secret!!” You shout at her retreating back.

“Babe,you’re cute when you’re jealous,” Jimin reaches for the plug in the bathtub todrain the water, and reaches for a towel to dry off his chest. That stupid,muscled chest and toned abs of his.

“Shutup, before I make you into sushi.”

[pinktama]

Dreams hurr

Why are dreams so weird wtf okay,

So last night I had a dream where, I was a celebrity wowie and I had a concert in Dubai so like, since I kind of grew up here. I asked my bestie who’s also a celebrity apparently, to come with me and like go on a joy ride with me and make stops at some of my old houses and like places with lots of meaning to me so he was like “hecku yeayu” and I was like “chill dud”

So we went for a joy ride lol and he was taking pictures of everything and I was like “Yo what u doin” then he said “I’m takin pictures so I can print it and like make a scrap book of your “childhood” kind of, y’know? like the one we did in Korea where I showed you my childhood and you took pictures too?” and then I parked the car and screamed “WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT, THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY TRAVEL BUDDY BUD BESTIE ILY FRIEND” and he was like “ok sure me too keep driving” so we did lol

After exploring Dubai we took a break and ate at Popeyes (I LOVE POPEYES HNGGG) and we took take out cuz idk and we rested at a hotel it was cool but he said he was tired so he slept but I snuck out and went on another ride, this time to visit my old choir

When I got there, the choir was actually practicing when I got there so I just stood outside and listened and when it was over I went in and hugged my BUDDY OL PAL BESTIE in choir and she was like “OMG NDSFGSO I HAVENT SEEN U IN YEARS WHERE HAVE U BEEN OH YEAH UR A CELEB I MISS U I ACTUALLY PLANNED TO GO TO UR CONCERT BUT WHY ARE THE TICKETS SO EXPENSIVE WTF (no shade)” and yeah it went on for about a minute then I caught up with my ol piano teachers and we took pictures but then I had to go

Dont ask me how but some how I didnt have a car and I had to walk back to the hotel, so I asked this super nice lady how to get to the hotel and she walked with me there, I think we talked about some deep stuff but it was all blurry sorry

BUT GUESS WHAT

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

GREAT

BUT IT DID CUT TO THIS FOR SOME REASON SO LETS JUST ROLL WITH IT AIGHT

So next, I was in an elevator going down and when the doors opened it was a long grey hallway with like “C” and “R” stuff on it and then OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE batman shows up behind me along with a blonde girl (She looks like weather forecast Janna tbh) and she was like this way and pointed to a door next to the “R”

when I came in, it was like an apartment kind of? like when you walked in it was like I tiny couch in front of you and there were dirty laundry everywhere, and to the left was a tiny hallway which was leading to a bigger space with like lots of stools, for like a party im guessing idk, I dont even know whats going on in my dream

There was girl sitting in the couch in the dirty laundry who was so chill she just, saluted batman, HELLO ITS BATMAN??? but then another girl came in and she was like frantically gathering the dirty laundry and she was like “sorryforthemesssorrysorrysorry” I wanted to tell her to chill but like I didnt want to say anything bcs I’m scared, I mean HELLO we’re with BATMAN 

I noticed a door to the right side of the couch, it was slightly ajar, so I went inside (BTW WTF I WOULD NEVER DO THAT IM IN SOMEONES “APARTMENT” WHAT) and it was like a super fancy toilet, it looked like this except it just had one sink and like a HUGE ASS MIRROR and to the left of the sink was a mediocre hot tub

I noticed the HUGE FUCKING MIRROR how could I not? I went near it but then after staring into it for a while it felt like I was being sucked in, my reflection was blurry but the surroundings were clear, but black smoke was starting to close in on me until I heard a scream outside, I was snapped back to what I thought was reality, I looked towards the door then back again at the mirror but this time my reflection was gone, I was freaked the fuck out that I bolted out the bathroom

I found my old “squad” with the two girls from before laughing and chilling except for B-man, he was way too cool to be laughing at fidget spinners, I was still trying to lasso back my soul into my body so I hid behind my friend uh lets call him..uh Candy idk so Candy was like you okay and he puts his arm around my shoulders i was like I’m fine BUT APPARENTLY I SHOUTED THAT SO EVERYONE LOOKED AT ME (I cried internally), following with an awkward cough I said “I’m fine” softer and more gently, but the chill girl just said “ you know you’re ugly right?” and I didnt want to deal with this shit so I said “same to you’ flipped her off

So I started to walk to the right side of the apartment while Candy followed me to a room with a queen sized bed, he hugged me and told me in THE MOST GENTLE WAY HUMANELY POSSIBLE, “Hey you look exhausted, you want me to cuddle you to sleep?” so i was like “Oho hecku yeayu” and we did

I kind of woke up in the middle of the night, it was pretty and chill until I felt some woman laugh next to me, I turned around and it was my friend’s mom?? I dont know either just bear with me

She giggled and said “Ha Shaniqwa (which is her daughter, its not her actual name pls, to all my Shaniqwa’s out there ily pls dont hurt me) why do you have a friend like Pinku even? she’s a fucktard loser and she doesnt deserve to live” lets stop there bcs I dont want anyone to get triggered and it actually hurts already lol, I dont feel like typing out everything she said, ANYWAY

her little “speech” ended with that giggle followed with “she’s going to regret staying over again, I’m going to make some Seafood Ampalaya and she has to eat it” ok it sounds stupid but I really hate seafood and ampalaya so I kind of gagged at the thought of it, im srry i just dont like fishy stuff

Anyway that got me running for my life and thought to myself, fuck that I’ll just make carbonara at home, if I even know where that is, I feel like Alice rn until I bumped into Candy again and he was actually genuinely worried and he took me back to his place where cuddled to sleep and this time it was more peaceful because I woke up 

Sorry this was rushed I tried to get everything down before I forget lol, idk why but I felt like sharing this, Idk if this dream has any meaning to it or not but eh

i’m ready to receive dm’s from people saying “get help” “wtf is wrong with u” throw them @ me hoe (jk i bet ur a nice person not a hoe k byee)

Didn’t proof read eh fuck it, post

[jessicakehoe]

Wonder Women: 5 Canadians Bringing Diversity to Pop Culture

They move us. They shake us. They make us laugh. They make us think. In addition to our October cover star Annie Murphy, we’re highlighting the Canadian women—across fashion, culture, beauty and more—who are impressing us the most right now.

LILLY SINGH, INFLUENCER AND TALK-SHOW HOST

Of all the YouTube stars who rule over gamers, Gen Z tweens and young millennials, Lilly Singh, who hails from Scarborough, Ont., is probably the most compelling and the most deserving of mainstream success. Singh—previously known as her screen name iiSuperwomanii—used her YouTube comedy channel, where she lovingly skewered her immigrant parents, along with contemporary life, to launch a small media empire that includes world tours, film roles, endorsements and now her own late-night talk show. A Little Late with Lilly Singh will be replacing Carson Daly’s show this fall, making Singh the only woman of colour to own real estate on late-night network TV. —Greg Hudson

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Loved this sparkly look from a recent episode of #LateWithLilly. After I wore a sparkly sweater and sparkly purple lip, I got a lot of comments from people saying they could never pull this off and I’m here to tell you, you can pull anything off. So much of this show is out of my comfort zone, including some of the styles I wear. But anything gets pulled off when you wear a layer of confidence underneath it all. So hi, friendly reminder that you’re fabulous baby. Wear what you love. Wear what makes you thrive. Have fun. You can def pull it off ❤️ 📷: @wanderlust.sam

A post shared by Lilly Singh (@lilly) on Sep 29, 2019 at 11:30am PDT

TANISHA SCOTT, CHOREOGRAPHER

You may not recognize her name right off the bat, but you’ve definitely seen her work. Tanisha Scott is the force behind the moves in Lil Nas X’s history-making “Old Town Road” and also works regularly with Cardi B, Rihanna, Drake and the Jonas Brothers. Born in Toronto and now based in New York, Scott began her career as a featured dancer in music videos and eventually graduated to choreographer. “The journey has been filled with powerful moments,” she says. When she’s not coaching stars for their stage shows and tours, Scott can be found working with fashion brands—like Coach and Lacoste—on their commercials and making cameos in some of her clients’ music videos. She’s the dancer who appears at the end of Drake’s “Hotline Bling” sporting classic red lips (her go-to confidence booster). “Red is often associated with courage, and it’s said that when a woman puts on red lipstick, she feels invincible and unshakable,” says Scott. “Red lipstick definitely adds to my confidence. It’s my anthem.” —D’Loraine Miranda

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From the video shoot to the @bet stage! @lilnasx & @billyraycyrus it was an absolute pleasure riding with y’all 🤠🤠 Shout out @draico on the choreo collab!

A post shared by Tanisha Scott (@tanishascott) on Jun 25, 2019 at 5:12pm PDT

JESSIE REYEZ, SINGER-SONGWRITER

Potential energy, as you may recall from middle-school science class, is the energy stored in an object because of its position relative to the objects around it. Some examples: a wrecking ball at its zenith, a drawn bowstring… and Colombian-Canadian singer-songwriter Jessie Reyez. For the past few years, she has been building energy by touring, working with big names like Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa, releasing two EPs and winning the 2018 Juno for Breakthrough Artist. And yet despite all that heat, it still feels like Reyez is on a launching pad with the countdown ticking away. Arguably, if you have been a face of Roots and count Elton John and Steven Tyler as fans, you’ve made it. But Reyez, who started out busking and playing open mics in Toronto’s Kensington Market, deserves to be much bigger than that. With her stripped-down, almost-Winehousian sound, not to mention her deeply personal lyrics that confront issues of racism, misogyny and inequality, the Toronto-based singer is perfectly suited for our present moment: She’s authentic, grounded, frighteningly hard-working…and a mass of potential. —Greg Hudson

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Liddo baby and me. YOURE NOT A REAL ONE IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED FAR AWAY YET. YOURE NOT A REAL ONE IF U DONT TAG A FRIEND WHOS NEVER HEARD OF MY SHIT TO GO WATCH IT. IF U HAVE, I apologize, I’m a Gemini it’s not my fault, youre a real one and I love u. 📸: @norman__wong

A post shared by Jessie Reyez (@jessiereyez) on Oct 7, 2019 at 2:25pm PDT

LADAN HUSSEIN SINGER-SONGWRITER

Ladan Hussein is proof that a little danger isn’t the end of the world—or even the end of a career. Late last year, the singer-songwriter who used to release music under the stage name Cold Specks opened up about the psychotic break that led to her being diagnosed as schizophrenic. While it has become common for artists and public figures to talk about their struggles with depression, anxiety and/or addiction issues, having someone discuss a condition that most of us see as hopeless and scary feels groundbreaking and more than a little important. What’s even more significant, though, is the work Hussein is doing now. She would probably like to be known more for her music than for her medical history. Luckily, she’s back to making music, and now that her mind is clearer, it’s better than ever. —Greg Hudson

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dissolved girl

A post shared by Cold Specks (@coldspecks) on May 7, 2019 at 1:42pm PDT

ANIQUE JORDAN, ARTIST

Anique Jordan is an interdisciplinary artist from Toronto whose work includes Evidence, a performance based on Clara Ford, a black woman who was accused of murdering a wealthy white man, and The Feast, which brought together 100 black women and gender-nonconforming artists around an exaggerated dinner table. Black history in Canada, working-class communities and the relationship between our country’s black and Indigenous peoples are among the themes in her work, which also includes sculpture and photography. She creates what she calls “impossible images,” reinterpreting the past in order to develop a new vision of the future. “I don’t have any formal art education,” says Jordan. “When I was younger, I knew I didn’t want to work for anybody. I’ve always wanted to be able to do my own thing and to use the full capacity of my brain. What I knew was that I was creative and that I had questions that were urgent.” —Tatum Dooley

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So excited to share my piece, Malvern, has been selected for the inaugural Black Art Fair held by @niacentre on October 19th. This is an art fair, directed by and presenting the work of Black Canadian artists. The first of its kind, as far as I know. If you've never considered purchasing artwork before or want to get a sense of the art scene in Toronto, come through and check it out. As artist who is also a collector, and as someone who has run a gallery and curated some of the most amazing Canadian artists, I can say that the importance of investing in original artwork can never be understated. Come thru y'all

A post shared by ʜɪɢʜ ᴘʀɪᴇꜱᴛᴇꜱꜱ (@aniquejordan) on Oct 5, 2019 at 5:08am PDT

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