#best video on horoscope

[toskarin]

I think the thing that broke me fully from the grip of the monomyth was a youtube video where someone argued that Bloodborne was an example of the hero's journey, but their explanation made it very clear that not only did they not understand the events of the game, but their misunderstanding also didn't fit the monomyth either, and the top comment was like "maybe it's not a good idea to analyze works through the lens of campbell that weren't explicitly written to follow his formula?"

the funniest part (and by funniest I mean most irritating) is that The Hero with a Thousand Faces keeps adding caveats to the monomyth even as it's presenting its best examples to the reader

"okay so this story doesn't apply exactly, but you can simplify it!" is putting in a heroic effort to smokescreen for how the monomyth is stretched so thin that it actually applies to nearly zero myths written before its publication if you don't significantly simplify the myth and then look the other way when it still doesn't quite fit

it's actually headache-inducing to think about how many young writers are taught about the hero's journey without the disclaimer that it's nonsense. internet horoscopes ask for less suspension of disbelief

[thefourthwifeoftengenuzui]

some headcanons about dating timeskip!Kenma please!!

thank you Anon, I would absolutely love to share some stuff about this beautiful boy~ As always, feel free to send any other requests you got, I’ll be more than happy to share my thoughts~

status: unedited

word count: 1.4k (damn that’s the most I’ve written in a hot minute)

warnings: cursing, pure fluff, mentions of weed, crackfick a little suggestive? Idk man I’m sleepy

wrote this instead of studying for my physics final exam😋

🩵Aged Up Kenma Headcannons🩵~

Ok first off we gotta get the basic facts down. This boy may be sweet as sugar, but he’s also one lazy mother fucker. And For the most part, I’d say that he really doesn’t change much from when he was a kid. The most I can say about him, is he definitely is a lot more confident being in front of people, ( I mean that’s kinda his job now, but bear with me) and has become less awkward around people. Very different from when he first met Hinata, he can actually hold a good and relaxed conversation now. That’s not to say he isn’t introverted anymore, (he definitely still would rather be at home) but he is more confident in himself to be able to actually be able to engage with someone. Is he gonna go out of his way to talk to someone? Hell no, but he can at least handle being approached without overthinking and triggering his anxiety.

This definitely also translates to his relationship with you. You still will have be the one who makes the first move, or at least initiating conversations.

But one things for sure, once he likes you, he loves you. Like wanting to wife you up regardless of gender. And I feel like, (later on in the relationship ofc) if you ever had kids, he would be the best most present dad ever. Like he wouldn’t be a house husband, (his YouTube gig is completely paying for your mortgage) but because the majority of what he does has him, stream for like an hour, go on call for a few minutes, or just edit his videos for a bit, he would be able to make a lot of time for any and all children he has. But that’s way later on in the relationship.

Once he’s comfortable in the relationship with you, I can definitely see him involving you in his content. Not like a whole boyfriend and girlfriend couples channel, but like a once a year “reacting to fucked up shit with my girl” type beat.

And since we’re on the subject of content, <<<<<<<<

Like imagine having the most shitty day possible and you come home to your boyfriend streaming COD or some shit. You just face-plant into the bed next to him and he snaps his head towards you.

”shit baby you good?” he asks as he raises an eyebrow, looking at you concerned as you mumble angrily. He recognizes the nonverbal gestures and just pats his lap with a quick, “c’mere baby,” and hugs you, letting you muzzle your face into his neck away from the camera, and wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, before he kisses you head and say, “gimme ten more minutes to finish this and we’ll order some takeout k?”. He gives you the most sincere and adorable smile ever sending butterflies not only to you, but all his fans watching, as he smiles and goes back to playing like nothing happened, the chat going wilddddddd. (My gay ass heart go brrrrrr)

I know for a fact that somewhere out there in haikyuu internet, there is a corny ass edit of y’all doing that shit, trust. (I need to keep my slang outta here man 😭)

ok, getting off the sidetrack, kenma is still like rlly introverted. Like his ideal date is just sitting at home watching some cheesy studio ghibi movie (His favorite is the boy and the heron, fight me on that, it’s the hill I’m willing to die on.)

If not some cute Disney movie, I also feel like he’d be into like some mystery or like not quite horoscope stuff. Like I feel like he would really be into Wednesday. If he had to watch an actual horror movie, I feel like I’d be like some of the older ones like scream or Nightmare on elm street type shit.

Speaking of scream, I feel like at least once yall would have to do the ghostface couples costume thing. Like I feel like this would just suit him so well. Idk my brains just going feral on it right now. (This was supposed to have a link attached, but it kept fuckin up and I’m to lazy to deal with it so just look it up, the couples version, it’s hot af)

aside from the specific stuff that I know people hate reading, the next thing you gotta know about this version of kenma is he is a TEASE. Like not even like an NSFW type tease. Just like a “he’s an ass but I love him.” Like when he was younger I feel like he was too nervous and flustered to point that kinda stuff out. But now? Man is a menace and a half. The type of dude to be like, “I have no idea how your ass fits in those shorts. Oh no, you’re not taken them off now~” or like the most basic annoying shit like bro fuck off and let me cuddle you in peace without being annoying. Like, he’d be like, “ damn someone’s neady today~ you tryna fuck me in front of everyone?” Like bro stfu I’m just tryna cuddle. Either that or he’d call you clingy for returning the affection he initiated. Like bro, quit being a lil bitch and let me be happy you butt muffin.

Man is putting full pussy into annoying you. He’s the type of guy to call you the most vile, disgusting, cringe ass nicknames, specifically to piss you off. You need him to take out the trash? “Yes my Pookie Wookie McSmoo Moo bear~” *gags while writing this* You’re yelling at him for some stupid thing, “I sorry my sugar booger~.”

Yeah this part is real OOC, and I was gonna write more but I physically cannot bring myself to do it so anyway, his other 3 favorite things to annoy you by calling you is, Cutesie Poopsie, Shnookums, and side piece #2. (Bro I just gave myself the ick)

Beige flags aside, he does have some green ones . For example, he’s a fabulous listener. Like, you just wanna rant and yell about your day? C’mere babes, he already got fluffy blankets, stuffies, and fluffy socks at the ready. You just wanna cry in piece? Looks like his lap has a vacant spot, he can play games and scratch your head at the same time. #bbgtreatment (regardless of gender. If tumblr has taught me anything it’s that nobody is to thug to be bbg, can I get an amen?🙏 )

The more comfortable he is with you, the more he will make jokes, but in the most monotone voice ever. Like you could be ranting to your bestie on the phone like, “I forgot my umbrella at work… yeah I’m soaked,” and you just hear him from his corner calmly shouting “that’s what she said,” not even turning away from his game, as if it was natural to him. It’s always so easy to talk with him, unless it’s about his problems, but we ain’t gon talk about that rn, I’m feeling too fluffy.

There is one thing that I absolutely have to address for this man though. The average female height in my country is 5’4. And Kenma is only 5’6. Chances are, he’s not gonna be towering over you or nothing. Especially if you a tall specimen like me. (AFAB but gender is a construct yolo on those hoes). So chances are, this mf is for a fact, stealing your clothes. No article of clothing is safe. Hoodie? Sorry boo he got cold streaming. T-shirt? None of his were clean. Miniskirt? Onlyfans- He was pulling a Gojo sorry 😋

Tbh I don’t see him ever really having a wedding, or really ever getting married. Too much social interaction and attention on him. Gross. The most I can see him doing is, one night while y’all smoking pot or something, being like “yo wanna get married?” He wants to be with you forever without the government getting involved, but hey, times are tough, and marriage helps with tax returns. So y’all just kinda go to the courthouse, get it done, then fly off to some place to elope.

in all Kenma is just a great loyal guy, who is the biggest pain in your ass, but the biggest cutie patootie this side of the nuthouse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope y’all enjoyed, this was so fun to write, if you liked this and want more content like this make sure to request and check out my other stuff. Love y’all bastards, Thots and Enby Hots🩵

[pascallatte]

Slip-ups

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader

Date: Jan 2019

Warnings: none I think but maybe a hint of something.

A/N: this is from y/n's POV and can be a 2nd part of the series but this is a long way from that. yeahhh. Hope you guys like this!!

Y/N L/N Answers the Web’s Most Searched Questions

“Good Afternoon, this is Y/n L/n and this is the wired autocomplete interview,” you started with the most monotonous voice you could ever make

-Autocomplete suggests the most common searcher on the internet-

“I am very excited, I’ve been wanting to do this since like forever but you guys never invited me, which was sad,” the camera then proceeds to zoom in your faces as you looked at the lens with a very menacing look. 

-So WIRED asked Y/N L/N some of the internet’s burning questions- 

Giggling to yourself, you sat back and took the first board that was given to you.

With a bright smile you said “Alrighty WIRED let’s do thisss!!!”

“Is y/n l/n….related to Sarah Paulson” with a scoff you shook your head and released a very breathy “NNOooooooo” 

“ But I’ve been asked this questions a couple times now and as much as I want to be related to Sarah, we are not.”

You looked back at the board, read it a few more times then nodded.

“ But we are sisters though, just not by blood.”

-Cut-

“ Is y/n l/n Elizabeth Swann”

“Oh!! Yup I am the Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean” you explained as soon as the question was revealed

“ did you know that not many people knew I was in that movie? And the reason?” You excitedly asked as you looked at the staff behind the camera.

“Was my fucking dark blonde hair!! Now hold on before you guys on the internet hate on me, let me explain.”

Hands up in a surrendering position you began “Look I loved that role, the series, the people, Orlando Bloom,..” You winked” but blonde just doesn’t suit me, AT ALL, and keeping that hair as blonde as it can is a freaking nightmare so after I’ve finished wrapping up the last of that film series I told myself never EVER!! Take a role that needed my hair to be dyed.”

-Cut-

“ Is y/n l/n a sagittarius”

Smiling to yourself as you recall a memory, you look down and answered “ Yes, yes I am because as you all know I was born on December 1987- GOSH I’m old” you cut yourself as you’ve registered the words that were said.

“But that is all I can tell you, 'cause I’m not that much into horoscopes or zodiacs or whatever but Pe-“ you cut yourself once again.” But uhmmm, someone once told me that I am the "embodiment" of the Sagittarius sign and that we sagi babes are most compatible with an Aries?? I think”

A small smile was seen on your face as the video cuts to the next question.

-Cut-

“ Are y/n l/n and Pedro Pascal friends”

"Hhmmm are we? I mean we hang out, send tiktoks to each other, and he steals my fuzzy socks a lot….” you nod off while listing all the things Pedro has done to you in the past week, in mind.

“ I guess we are friends? nO, I’m just kidding we are, the best might I add”

You beamed at the lens as you rattled on, “of course we’re friends, we’ve been friends for quite a while now and I thank sister Sarah for that. But yeah, I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with that guy?”

You once again looked at the staff who was nodding at you to continue.

“ He’s friendly, goofy, a great storyteller, and actor” you winked again that was accompanied by a snort,  “and a great person in general…ah he also shares his empanadas so that makes him an even Better Greater person HAHA!!”

You then throw the board to the ground as you jump out of your seat

-Cut-

“Who does y/n l/n play in Narcos”

“ I play a DEA agent from Barcelona, Spain named Catalina “Lina” Mendoza, she is the love interest of Javier Pena and who is played by the one and only Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, who is the partner of Boyd Holbrook aka Steve Murphy” proudly you crossed your arms and leaned back in the chair.

-Cut-

“What is y/n l/n first movie”

“Ahh this is a great question, uhmmm my first movie was released way back in ’99 and it’s called the sixth sense. Which was a great experience and opened up my little 11-year-old mind up more into the acting industry.” You answered while thinking back on that more to add.

“ I mean it is a minor role but I got to meet Bruce Willis and act with a very close friend of mine, Trevor Morgan.” You added before looking back at the board.

-Cut-

“What is y/n l/n doing now”

“Since this will be released, I don’t know, a few days or weeks from now I’d try to answer what I would be doing at that time” you scratch your chin as you think of what you would do without saying too much.

“I would either be at home, chilling, drinking wine, while watching a movie OR” you exaggerate, “ I’d be out partying or hanging out with a few friends of mine, yeah I think that’s about it.”

-cut-

“ How can I meet y/n l/n”

Laughing you said, “Well, I’ll probably be in my favourite cafe during my spare time so maybe you guys can drop by and have the courage to say hi,” you tease but was followed by an “I'd rather have you do that instead of taking a, what you think is a discreet, picture of me and the one person I’m with” you ended with a forced smile.

-Cut-

“How old was y/n l/n when Pedro Pascal”

“Guys is this asking what I think it's asking HAHAHAHA” you burst out with a laugh while kind of nervous that you would say something out of line.

“ Well uhm, if you’re asking how old I was when we met, we met through Sarah way back in early 2012 she invited me for a new year's party, so that makes me 24??” You answered with an eyebrow raised.

“ Buuutt,” you dragged.”If you guys are asking about that scene in the second season of Narcos, that you guys are thirsting on about. I would be at around 27 years while shooting that I think. Sooo yeah. Kids don’t ask about those narcos scenes please, better yet don’t watch it until you’re like 25 or 50”

-Cut-

“ How tall is -“

“ No No! I won’t be answering that question yo-“ 

-Cut-

With a huff you looked at the camera, “ I am 5 foot 3....and a half…. On good days I'd be 5'4 and 5'5 with heels. But hey I’m not even that small, the people around me are just giant abnormal-looking non-human beings” you point at the lens

“YES YES IM TALKING TO YOU MISTER PASCAL, so stop teasing me”

-Cut-

“Ooh would you look at that the last question!” 

Ripping the paper as fast as you can it says “Can y/n l/n dance?” 

You noticeably perked up at this but before you can answer a voice came from behind the camera and said “No!”

“ Hey! I mean I’m not a good dancer but I can dance properly you know. I flow with the vibe of the music you know what i’m saying!!! Yeah?”

-Cut-

 You were seen grinning before you were called on camera.

Throwing the board behind you once again you say “ Well WIRED, that was certainly interesting and this might be one of the most... chill... interviews I’ve been on! Can’t wait to do more! Bye!!”

COMMENTS

Fan 1: that was…..entertaining

Fan 2: the slip ups OH MY FUCKING GOD

Fan 3: the way she called out the paps HA serves you right!!

Fan 4: i love how most of the internet asks about y/n and Pedro indirectly. Like girl, we’ve been waiting for years.

Fan 5: Oh so this is the girl, Pedro was seen with the other day. She looks too young, I don’t get why people ship these two, he wouldn’t go for immature younger women. ↳ Fan 4 replied to Fan 5: Girl be fucking for real they've been dating for years now, try to look it up.

Fan 6: I love her friendship with Sarah and Pedro!!! And it looks like she was adopted by Sarah Paulson the same way she did with Pedro HAHAHAH oh and we got crumbs on her hanging out with Pedro with that sharing of food thing

Fan 7: I NEED MORE Y/N CONTENT, SHE IS THE QUEEN, MY LOVE, MY WIFE AND BABY!!!!

Fan 8: so is no one else curious about who said “No” as soon as that dancing question was revealed, cause all I know is that it sure ain’t one of the staff. ↳ Fan 7 replied to Fan 8: HOW THE HELL?? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW THEY'RE TOGETHER?! I'm speechless

Fan 9: she’s so smiley and goofy in this interview, must’ve had a lot of fun shooting this. ↳ WIRED replied to Fan 9: 👀 about that…. ↳ fan 9 replied to WIRED: why? what’s happening

Fan 10: The sarcasm when asked if Pedro's her friend is killing me😵 ↳ Fan 8 replied to Fan 10: aren't they friends though? ↳ Fan 10 replied to Fan 8: girl go search it up. i just, can't. this is because of his rising fame, everyone doesn't know that much yet. what more if this continues for the years to come.

Fan 11: The comments of old Pedro fans and new Pedro fans are funny.

A/N: so we got a little back story for y/n and her friendship with Pedro and Sarah ahhhh. ay, this doesn't directly follow my last fic, but I wanted to put this out earlier. Just to let you guys know this series follows a timeline I've done so that would explain why there are dates and stuff at the beginning of each fic. That's all, Thank you!! Bye for now.

[solomiracle]

can u do a reader who secretly has a nerdy side, and could talk about their favorite thing (animal, anime, series, book, game, etc) for hours?

awawawa!!! i've never really done a request like this before, so it might not be the best >m< but without further ado >:D

The Brothers With a Reader Who Has a Secret Nerdy Side

— — ☆ — —

LUCIFER will be surprised upon learning about this side of you. Most of the time, he won't actively encourage you to talk about your interest, and will only listen to you talk about it for a little while. But sometimes, when he calls you to his study or room to relax and have a bit of demonus, he'll ask about something related to your interest so he can listen to you ramble. He finds your voice more beautiful than any of his cursed records, after all.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are theatre, alcohol, and factories.

-☆-

MAMMON will be surprised, maybe even a little confused when he learns this. Depending on your interest, he'll either not care, ask you a bunch of questions, or try to somehow make it related to his new money making scheme. Regardless of his reaction, he'll spend the next few days "sneakily" inquiring more info about your interest (aka pestering you about it), and then buying something related to it; say a plushie of your favorite character or book on the subject. And of course, he'll be tsundere as ever when presenting it to you.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are vehicles, jewelry, and mansions.

-☆-

LEVIATHAN will be ecstatic when he finds out! A fellow nerd!!! Even if your interests aren't otaku related (but let's be real, he'll definitely be able to connect them to otaku culture in some way), he'll happily listen to you ramble. If you want, he'll even be willing to buy any merch of your interests if there's some on Akuzon! He'll probably stutter and blush when suggesting this, though.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are anything otaku related (mainly magical girls), video games, and the ocean.

-☆-

SATAN will be intrigued. If he already has knowledge of your interest, it'll end up with you two going back and forth, discussing your favorite details, maybe even learning new facts about it together. If he doesn't have the knowledge, he'll listen to you talk, taking in all the things he finds interesting and looking them up later. Maybe he doesn't care for your interest, but he wants to be well informed and understand the things you like.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are magic, human history, and book series.

-☆-

ASMODEUS... wouldn't really care that much lol. But he's always thrilled to learn more about you, and would love to listen to you talk about your interest. If it's something that can be made into a cute pin or a patch, like an animal or logo from your favorite series, he would love to sew it onto one of your bags or jackets for you. Make sure to thank him properly for it!

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are fashion, horoscopes, and rituals.

-☆-

BEELZEBUB will be fascinated upon learning this. He gets to see a whole new side to you, one that can get you talking for hours? Cool! He'll ask you a question about your interest to get the ball rolling (maybe even unintentionally), then sit down and listen to everything you have to say, even if it means having to wait a bit to eat. But he can hardly ever think about his stomach when he's too busy focusing on you.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are human culture (food and history), sports, and health.

-☆-

BELPHIE... wouldn't really care that much as well. In fact, he might even tease you about it (aka calling you a nerd), and will most likely nod off in the first few of your ramblings. But he makes sure to stay awake after realizing how important your interest to you is; not to mention, he gets to see your happy face for hours, a sight better than any of his dreams could come up with.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are human culture (fairs, circuses, etc), astronomy, and magic.

[godsunderfoot]

DOC'S HOMEBREW ALPHABET HC MEME

send a letter of the alphabet in my asks and i'll answer the questions in that category for my muse(s) !!

ACHE [pain hcs.]

how is their pain tolerance?  are they in any pain right now?  how are they likely to act when they hurt, physically or emotionally?  how would they react if they stubbed their toe? 

BLOOD [violence hcs.]

how are they in a fight?  the weapon they would use, and why?  what would they do if they found a dead body?  what weapon would be best against them?

CLEAN [hygiene hcs.]

do they pick up after themselves?  how often do they vacuum their space? how are their organization skills? are they willing to eat or drink after other people?

DRIVE [commuting hcs.]

what car do/would they drive?  do they obey traffic laws?  what mode of transportation would they choose otherwise?  do they have road rage?

ELEMENT [astrology and symbolism hcs.]

what is their horoscope and/or their Chinese zodiac?  do they believe in it?  which element best represents them? what's their opinion about predestined compatibility?

FEAR [fear hcs.]

do they have any significant fears or phobias?  how are they likely to act when they're afraid?  are they a thrill-seeker?  how long would they survive in a horror movie?

GANJA [drug hcs.]

do they do any drugs, illegal or otherwise?  have they ever tried any?  how would they handle a bad trip?  would they be a successful drug dealer?

HAND [hand and touch hcs.]

do they have soft or rough hands?  what are their hands doing most of the time? which is their dominant hand?  do they paint their nails?

ISLAND [the Island Question hcs.]

which book would they take with them?  which movie?  if they could take three items for survival, what would they take? if they could take one person with them (living or dead), who would it be?

JUNK [personal items hcs.]

do they collect anything?  are there any objects which hold emotional significance for them?  if they were a dragon, what would they hoarde? what do they usually have in their pockets or purse?

KEYBOARD [technology hcs.]

are they technologically savvy?  do they try to keep up with current phones or game systems?  what does their cell phone look like?   what’s the most recent photo on their roll?

LOVE [relationship hcs.]

how would they dress on a date?  what is their love language?  how do they show affection, or if they don't, why not?  have they ever had a serious relationship?

MILE [travel hcs.] 

where do they go on vacation, and/or where would they like to go? what would they like to do on vacation?  have they ever been to another country?  what are some things they'd never leave home without?

NOSE [scent hcs.]

what do they smell like?  what are their favorite scents?   do they wear perfume or cologne?  if their essence were in a candle, what would it smell like?

OPERA [music hcs.]

what kind of music do they like, or if they don't, why not?  which songs remind you of them?  can they sing?  do they enjoy dancing?

PET [animal hcs.]

do they have any pets, or would they like one?  what's their favorite animal?  if they were an animal, what would they be?  what kind of dog would be best suited for them?

QUEST [entertainment hcs.]

do they like board games or video games?  how do they handle winning and/or losing? do they enjoy jigsaw puzzles?  are they competitive?

RANDOM [dealer’s choice hcs.]

anything about your character you want the world to know!

SEX [sexual hcs.]

are they a top, bottom, or other?  any kinks or fantasies?   if they could sleep with (or go on a date with) a celebrity, who would they choose?  what are their turn-offs?

TEETH [food hcs.]

what's their favorite and/or least favorite food?  do they have any allergies?  if they were on death row, what would their last meal be?  can they cook or bake?

UMBRELLA [weather and season hcs.]

how do they feel about storms?  which is their favorite season?  do they prefer hot or cold weather? do they celebrate holidays?

VANITY [appearance hcs.]

do they take pride in their appearance?  how do they dress normally, and how does it differ when they’re going somewhere nice?  post a photo or gif of them/their FC that you love but never get to use do they have any piercings or tattoos?  

WORK [job or labor hcs.]

what is their work ethic like?  what would they like to do as a career?  what are their least favorite chores?  if they were in a medieval setting rp, what would their job be?

XRAY [medical hcs.]

how do they handle doctor visits?  what's the worst injury they've gotten?  have they ever been to the ER?  do they have any medical issues or conditions?

YMCA [physical fitness hcs.]

on a scale of 'waif' to 'swole', how muscular are they? do they go to a gym?  do they enjoy sports? if their physical strength meant the difference between life and death, how would they fare?

ZZZ [sleep hcs.]

what does their bedroom look like? do they make their bed every morning?  what are their frequent dreams or nightmares?  what is their bedtime ritual?

[astrologycharts242]

The astrology marketing scam!!!

The astrology marketing scam!!!

I've been researching the past month observing what astrologers are doing and what their own clients say about them. I've definitely paid for readings in the past so I have my own experiences. I came across a video last night of women accusing sunnymfmoney astrology of many things.

I'm noticing a trend with what some people call pop astrology. The goal is to talk about zodiac signs because this gets the general public interested. They say the most generic or cliche things that can relate to any sun sign.

For example Libras get very angry when they have to wake up for work 😹😹Which obviously gets most people invested. This then inflates the views and follows. Another trick with it is by talking about eclipses, retrogrades, full moons. They'll say stuff like this Venus retrograde Leo signs can experience hardships or breakups in relationships. Then everyone will chime in on the comments saying stuff like "wow I just broke up with my boyfriend last week." Now others will believe the credibility of this source. Even though they haven't even said if someone is a Leo moon, Leo rising, a Leo sun etcetera. Yet somehow a very broad general statement can relate to them personally.

Now they have 100,000 plus followers. This method works mainly on TikTok I've noticed. People see a large following on social media so now they trust and believe everything he or she says. They even are willing to give them money for anything just because the following count gives the illusion that this person has value in what they are saying.

With a big following count now what do they do. They'll provide their followers with readings. Readings of all sorts: synastry, birth chart, transits etc. They even provide course services mentoring and teaching people how to read birth charts.

I remember paying a nakshatra course from krs astrology and I learned nothing from it. I didn't even finished it. Which is ironic because he is very knowledgeable about astrology and his videos helped me become great with this astrology thing. I paid for a navamsa book from him it was useless. I can't even remember one thing I read from it.

Now imagine paying for a course from someone that only talks about Leos, Virgos etc. I don't mind someone doing this if they are an amateur and using it to build themselves up. In my beginnings to this day I regret a lot of the things I was saying. I look back at how I read birth charts and I be like boy I messed up 😹😹. I even be wishing I could apologize to those people but I was very far from bad. I was never one of these types of people promoting zodiac signs. Which made me have lots of potential regarding astrology. I always focused on what the houses represented, lords and house rulerships.

How to spot these marketing scams?

1. You'll see most of them on TikTok.

2. They only talk about eclipses, retrogrades, basically horoscope stuff.

Number 2 is most problematic on this list because they have no basis or foundation in what they're saying. Which shows that there potential with astrology will be weak.

3. They don't use charts especially celebrity charts to give an idea of how they would read a chart. Which is crazy because now you are giving this person your money without validity. You are just going off following count. Instead if they have a celebrity's chart on display you can easily see if something occured in a celebrity's life.

4. How can someone read your transits and they don't even have proof of them making predictions.

5. Watch out for those that provide courses. This is very tricky. The best way you can tell if you should be paying someone for a course is if they don't do things on this list.

When it comes to courses I've seen tons of people complaining about spending thousands on a course. Like the whole course would actually cost a thousand plus. Me personally I paid a course or as he calls it a webinar from Marc Boney. I honestly don't regret it not one bit. What he does is create books and make courses surrounding the contents in a specific book. Which is great because paying for the book first will let you know if a course is worth it or not.

6th. Don't fall for someone promoting the length of how long they have been learning or practicing astrology. Many use it as a promotional tool when it doesn't prove anything.

[captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship]

ACOTAR Ask Game

acotar character ask game

I have had very low engagement on Tumblr recently and want to do something fun :)

send me a number and 2 characters and i will tell you who is most likely the answer to the question.  

which character is most likely to forget their kid at the grocery store?

which character is most likely to cheat on their spouse? would they get caught?

which character decides to get in touch with nature, ends up getting lost, catching poison ivy, and eating some psychedelic berries?

which character does a cheesy “i love you” at the airport in front of strangers?

which character ends up getting drunk at their wedding reception and kisses the best man/woman?

whose name is written on the bathroom wall to “call for a good time”?

who decides to pledge to a fraternity/sorority? what kind of hazing did they endure?

who read an erotic novel, decided to try a new position, and ended up with a pulled calf muscle and a bruised tailbone?

which character tried to recreate the upside-down rain kiss from spider-man? did they succeed?

who is most likely to be tucked into bed by 8:15pm on new year’s eve?

who is most likely to kiss a stranger on new year’s eve?

which character decided to jump on the meme stock and invested all their money in gamestop? did it reach the moon?

who decided to get into full costume on halloween to blend in with the neighborhood kids and go trick-or-treating?

which character decided to do a public proposal only to be rejected by the person they asked to marry them? 

which character most likely collects something embarrassing/stupid/useless? what do they collect?

which character is the obnoxious sport parent who takes their kid’s little league sport too seriously?

which character forgot to bake something for their kid’s bake sale and ended up buying donuts at a gas station on the way?

which character got so drunk they stood on top of the bar and shouted the lyrics to oops i did it again by britney spears?

which character got drunk and ended up with an embarrassing tattoo? what is the tattoo?

which character is super into astrology and makes it a point to read their horoscope and their friend’s horoscope? 

which character would write a love letter and never send it?

who cries during the animal rescue commercial and always calls and donates right after watching?

which character watches creative hobby videos on youtube for hours, buys all the supplies to do try the hobby, and then never actually do the hobby? what is the hobby?

who is more likely to accidentally commit a crime? what is the crime?

which character decides to organize a flash mob, but only manages to get 3 people to show up? who showed up?

which character is the worst to play charades with and why?

which character thought it was a good idea to dance in the rain with their partner only to end up with a head-cold? 

which character is the best secret santa?

what character begs to watch the scary movie only to be completely traumatized and unable to sleep without a nightlight and bed checks for monsters?

which character fake cries to get out of a speeding ticket? does it work?

[alfea]

here’s yet more questions to ask

does your hair take a long time to dry?

what’s your favourite fleetwood mac song?

do/did you play neopets?

if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?

can you wiggle your ears?

what’s your favourite scent?

when in the day do you like to eat lunch?

do you like mystery stories?

what’s a video game you heard good things about but were disappointed by?

do any of your mutuals know your address?

how long has it been since you last went to a thrift store?

were/are you in any clubs in high school?

if you could see any dead musician in concert, who would it be?

what is the earliest alarm you have set on your phone (even if it’s not currently active)?

what’s your least favourite artifical fruit flavour?

do you have any uncommon talents?

if you could move to another city easily and without any financial worries, would you? if so, where would you move to?

what’s your favourite pasta sauce?

were/are you afraid of clowns?

do you have any ocs? if so, which one is your newest?

how do you feel about dolls?

what does your favourite shirt look like?

do you still get along with any of your exes?

if you could travel back to any point in the past for a day, would you? if so, what year would you go back to?

what is your best friend’s contact name in your phone?

do you drive? if so, what colour is the car you drive most often?

what’s your favourite television theme song?

if you could revisit any place you’ve ever been, where would you go?

what flavour of toothpaste do you use?

do you usually return your library books on time?

when do you usually start getting tired in the evening?

if you could bring one dead family member back to life, who would you choose?

what’s your least favourite thing about the city/town you live in?

do you have an email signature?

what time were you born?

what’s a weird food combination you like?

do you prefer to sleep with or without socks?

which decade do you think you’d fit best in aesthetically/style-wise?

what’s the strangest thing someone’s ever said to you unprompted?

how do you feel about popcorn ceilings?

do you believe in horoscopes?

what’s your favourite constellation?

if you could transform into any animal for a day, what would you become?

do you check the weather each morning?

what’s your favourite song from the 80s?

have you ever worn the exact same outfit more than one day in a row?

do you care about having lots of social media followers?

if you were a bird, which species would you be?

what’s your least favourite texture?

can you recite the alphabet backwards?

[incorrectpnatquotes]

[Sophie Sybil reads her fortune, which says her best friend is going to stab her.] Rose Baxter: *gives Sophie an injection* Sophie: Whoop, you stabbed me! Horoscope fulfilled! [Playing video games] Sophie: Oop, you stabbed me in a video game! Still counts, probably! [Getting snacks] Sophie: You ate my crackers after promising you wouldn't! What a backSTAB! Rose Baxter: Are you sure this is how this works? [In Mayview Academy's Armory. A sign clearly states, "Do NOT play with the swords."] Sophie: *has a sword sticking out of her* Rose Baxter: *hands clasped in shock* Oops.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

One thing has been clear since I first heard Daylight and after I saw the video of him and Taylor at the U2 concert last year is that he likes rough sex. //

Help me out English is not my best language. Which lyrics here are about rough sex?

I'm on the roof, you're in your airplane seat

I was nose-bleeding, looking for life out there

Reading your horoscope, you were just doing cocaine

In my kitchen, you never listen, I hope you're missing me by now

If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you

You'd be the spoon

Dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you

Daylight, you got me cursing the daylight (ooh)

Daylight, you got me cursing the daylight (ooh)

Daylight, you got me calling at all times (ooh)

Ain't gonna sleep 'til the daylight (ooh)

Out of New York, I'm on the comedown speed

We're on bicycles, saying, "There's life out there"

You got the antidote, I'll take one to go, go, please

Get the picture, cut out my middle

You ain't got time for me right now

Anon, why are you subjecting us to such mediocrity? What did we do to you?

[fragileizywriting]

"luka! luka couffaine!" the reporter shouts, just as marinette's mother starts to call out her name.

"kitty, come look!" sabine calls from the cash register. "luka's on TV again."

"again?" she drawls, making her way over. her apron is stained full of frosting as she wipes her hands off on an edge, staring up at the TV that flanks the seating area of the diner. the entire bakery is quiet, watching the news, as the dazzling alpha perks at the mention of his name and smiles at the reporter who is doing her best to call him over for a quick interview. "he looks a little skinny, doesn't he?" marinette says absent-mindedly.

"anarka says that he doesn't eat all that much when he's on tour."

luka is sweaty, with that graphics tee plastered onto his chest in a way that has the reporter absolutely salivating with interest. an eclectic use of necklaces seem almost scattered across his strong pectorals; she spots the guitar pick she'd made for him all those years ago in the throng of random other jewelry. a dog tag. a crucifix. kitty section's band logo. all of it is coated in sweat and dew. his smile is wide and approachable anyway, peeks of alpha fangs poking from behind his lips. he's always wish-washy about if he wants to show them or not, not quite sure of himself if people want the alphaness to show or to keep it hidden like the world's worst kept secret.

"hi," luka says into the microphone nearly shoved into his sniffer. "sorry, i look like a mess right now. post-concert usually does that."

his hair is an absolute rats nest. he's definitely going to call her in a few hours and beg for help over video call on how to fix it.

"your performance was amazing as always," the reporter remarks. "we wanted to ask you a few questions; have you seen the latest dog or cat horoscope going around? we absolutely need to know if you've taken it."

luka's smile goes affectionate, though not quite exactly at the reporter or the way she twirls her hair with a finger. "yeah! yeah i took it a few hours ago-- a friend of mine sent it to me."

marinette had sent it on the notion that he would immediately reply with the usual: oh i saw this! i thought you don't believe in this?

you know i don't!

cool, but i do! so tell me what your results are?

it told me that you're a dogperson :P

huh. okay, okay, interesting... do you think i wag my tail whenever i see you, or something?

oh, luka. you poor man. didn't you realize you're whipped to all hell?

the two of them had bickered about it over text for a good hour before she'd gone to work and he'd gone to a stage rehearsal.

"we're dying to know if the quiz ended up telling you if you're a cat person or a dog person."

"i've got a cat at home," he teases. something about that look in his eyes as he looks down makes marinette's inside churn. she likes that. cat at home. his. posessive. his, his, his. his cat. "i wouldn't say the majority of my friends are cats, no, but the most important one in my life is definitely a cat."

sabine elbows her with a look. "see? he likes you."

marinette tries not to elbow her back. "i'm his best friend."

"what alpha has a best friend that's an omega, my love?"

"you wouldn't get it," marinette sighs. "if he'd liked me, don't you think he would've said something by now?"

the reporter looks unphased at luka's answer. "and did he take the test, too?"

"she's the one who sent to me."

"oh-- are you saying that your most important friend is a girl?"

there's where luka makes a face. "she's not watching this interview, so i can say this: she's my best friend in the whole wide world. if she heard me, she'd be gagging at this point-- that's why i'm saying she's definitely a cat. i named the band after her, too. that girl has been in my life since the beginning; it's her fault that i'm so successful."

marinette pinks.

"i love her a lot. my cat at home is probably my favorite thing about coming home after seeing my family, but at this point, she's a part of it, too."

the reporter is stunned.

marinette is stunned.

she checks out of the interview, walking back into the pantry, unsure if he means that romantically or platonically. best-friend-ically. and starts on a new sourloaf, wondering if she should admit that she loves him to the point it hurts.

[mooninfall]

Current Transit Reflection Dec 13th 2023 - Jan 7th 2024

Venus, Mars, and Mercury Transiting my 12H in Sag Squaring Saturn/Neptune in my 3H in Pisces // Pluto at 29 degrees of Cap in my 1H opposite my natal Sun in Cancer 7H, South Node in Libra & North Node in Aries

I cannot wait for these 12H transits to end, I'm suffering so badly right now. I realised that I'm seriously co-dependent and hyper fixate on 1 person and then neglect the rest of my relationships. I'm feeling so sad about this realization! I self sabotaged SO BADLY. I finally had a community of people around me who share the same values as me. But because I was hyper fixated on a crush AND I over committed to creating an organization with this new community when I was feeling ambitious, I RUINED IT. It was like I won the lottery, and then blew all the $$. I'm SAD. </3

However, this realization has motivated me to go to online Codependency Anonymous meetings. I'm also trying to find a therapist. I feel so sad though. I lost all but 1 of my friendships because of how self sacrificing I was being. I FUCKED UP and I'm scared I'm going to be alone/accidentally hurting others forever.

But deep down I know this is an opportunity to change. I feel like a failure right now. I had what I wanted and the fumbled it. I broke my own heart and then betrayed other people's trust in the process. I know there's always room for growth and to learn more and to change, but UGH. I'm so sad.

The thing is, no one has expressed anger with me yet, but I know they feel it and just don't think they can express it. I think we were all a little codependent. But that doesn't make it any better. God, I'm sad. I hope one day I can be someone who sets boundaries effortlessly and have a community of people who can do that too. I hope one day it's be easier to recognize my thoughts and communicate them.

I'm also realizing I don't have many hobbies outside of watching astrology horoscope videos. That feels embarrassing to me. I can see I use them as a regulating tool/helps me feel in control. I'd like to expand my hobbies but I'm struggling to find something that gives me that same dopamine hit. Idk what to do other than my best and let god do the rest.

My heart hurts and idk what to do with myself rn. Anything I try just feels like a distraction.

[imisssparkling1989]

@taylorswift @taylornation

Screaming. Crying. Omg best TV album. Hi, it's me, Kelly, I'm the problem. I've been streaming 1989 TV since midnight and have officially soaked in all the prior songs and the vault songs. Gotta say, these vault songs are epic *chefs kiss*

I know I don't write on Tumblr much, but I hope you read my original Tumblr post on how important your music is. I am still without a job, but everyday I stream your music or have it on a vinyl playing <3 It help's during the tough days, which seem to be a bit more often lately.

Every time I see another 1989 baby conquering and succeeding the way you are it inspires me to follow my passions, but to also work hard on them too. I've just been so inspired and diving into my creativity.

Can we please talk about "Now That We Don't Talk Anymore" being a TOTAL ANTHEM!!! I have been screaming this song all day and when I hear the chorus I get chills. "I CANNOT BE YOUR FRIEND" ooooof such a line Taylor! Slay.

My dog Oliver LOVES your song "Is It Over Now" he loves the beats and perks his head side to side. I have to get it on a video lol. He also loves "Exile" and curls up next to me and lays his head on my laptop while it plays. He's a fan :)

Btw, that is another song I feel in my bones. Seeing your live surprise song performance of it broke me. Taylor you can't do that to us lol <3

Thank you for putting my 34 years of girlhood into words my whole life. I cannot believe I get to live in a time where you exist. Your songs are poetry, therapy, joy, and so much more. Music has always been my "thing" and your music has always been my favorite. It could also be because my horoscopes cancer, you know we love to be in our feelings LOL.

I remember during my hardest times you were releasing music when I happen to have been losing a family member (Reputation, Red TV, Folklore, Evermore). So many nights I put my airpods on and cried to sleep listening to your music. It sounds sad, but I promise you, without your music, I don't know where I'd be. Your music drowned my thoughts and allowed me to be in another world- even if it was just a short time.

Okay, back to streaming. I'm aiming to get into the top 0.1% on your Spotify because frankly I'm insulted I didn't make it and couldn't go to the ERA's movie premier hahahaha. BTW saw it on IMAX 3 times and danced the night away each time. My heart left full the last night in particular when a young group of girls ran to the front to sing and dance to "The Man." Imagine, I was a kid when I started listneing you. Now, I was looking at future Swifties and just knowing what a beautiful life they have ahead of them. They knew every song especially your earlier work. Magical. Byyyyye

"No, it's Becky."

[anabellapenrose]

FULL NAME: Anabella Penrose

FACECLAIM: Levy Tran

GENDER: female

PRONOUNS: she/her

AGE + BIRTHDAY: 39, 15th of June

LENGTH OF TIME IN FAIRFORD: 20 years

HOUSING: Own apartment in Downtown.

OCCUPATION: Tattoo artist at Ink studio.

PERSONALITY: + responsible, intelligent, polite, honest - impatient, stubborn, impulsive, picky

DIGGING DEEPER  

“What’s it like, living in Fairford? Did you ever picture yourself settling down here or did you always know this would be your home?”

"It's been years since I came here - 20 to be precise. I just want to tell that this town helped me so much in the ways I couldn't imagine. I like everything about this town : people, food, my job. It's been amazing so far and I definitely see myself retired here in 20+ years.

“If you could recommend one hidden gem around town everyone should try, what is it? What makes it so special?”

"Well, for me that would definitely be Gardens of Japan. It's amazing experience and I would recommend it for every new person who comes in town.

“What’s your family like? Are you still close, or have you blocked all their numbers?”

"My daughter is with me as she is 20 years old. I have connections with my parents, we are mostly video chatting. I have also one brother and one sister who I am talking to on almost daily basis.

“We’ve all had our fair share of shit hit the fan and moments in the sun — tell me about a defining moment in your life, good or bad.”

"The best moment of my life definitely was when I had my daughter. I am so happy to have her, regredless the past I have with her father. Whoever says kids are not a real bless, they are so wrong. They really are."

BIOGRAPHY

Anabella was born in Los Angeles, with father Japanesse and mother who's American. Even back then, her father was the owner of Japanesse resturant he opened. They were doing quite well and Bella had quite peaceful and good childhood. Bella is the middle child and she was always close with her brother and sister. They were protecting each other all the time and share almost every secret they have.

Anabella was excellent during her school days and she was always showing how artistic she is. She was also playing the piano as well as dance classes. Bella was always a perfecionist and she liked to do things in the way they should be done. But that wasn't always the case, and to this day, Bella has indeed some regrets.

She met few years older guy when she was 18 and she fell for him so hard. He was very gentle and kind and she thought she is going to spend the rest of her life with him. How wrong was she. After some time, she found out that she was pregnant. Bella was over the moon, thinking how they will share the life. Then everything fell apart as she found out that he was married and had 3 year old son.

It crushed Bella's world and she thought she couldn't bare with that. Pregnancy wasn't the problem, her embarrassment was. She was the other woman he probably never loved. Bella then decided to have a life somewhere else, with her child on a way. She moved to Fairford. Bella is now living in Fairford for 20 years and she couldn't be happier. She has a beautiful daughter and works as a tattoo artist. Only thing that is bothering her is that he is going to find her. She had a good reason, but was it smart to not to tell him he became a father? Even though it's not like she is afraid of him finding out, it is called being conscious.

EXTRA

Place of birth : LA

Horoscope sign : Gemini

Sexuality : Bi

Likes : cigarettes, tattoos, coffee, tea, good wine, cocktails, sea, swimming, hanging out with friends, good food

Dislikes : liars, bad weather, lazy people, olives, crabs.

WANTED CONNECTION

ex

friends

friends with benefits

co-workers

[shaobluecotton]

HOPIUM

Jenny was not ready to spend her whole life like this. Working a boring, miserable job which paid so little that she could barely afford treating herself to a brunch at her favorite café a couple times a month. These brunches were always a sort of celebration for her, the only moments when she felt absolutely careless and free, and as successful as anyone else. However, this feeling was rather quick to subside after the brunch was over, and Jenny hopped on a metro where she inevitably started scrolling her social media feed.

First of all, they were rich. Posing in expensive garments, traveling to tropical islands, decorating their luxurious homes. Jenny knew that with rich, there came beautiful: getting her body in the best shape, changing her hair, buying high quality skincare and makeup. She yearned for that life. She wanted it so badly that she dreamt that one day she would wake up to be just like them. But HOW did they do it exactly?

Jenny took a quick glance at the people scurrying back and forth at the metro station. Tired, weary - nothing like the women from the other side of the screen. No wonder - these women have never set their foot in the underground, they used expensive cars and took cabs. Funny, Jenny thought, how she believed she was happy when she was a teenager, studying to become a makeup artist, having no money to spend. She did not even think about the concept of money back then, she had a boyfriend and some friends, she had her favorite music and reality shows, and she was not worried about anything apart from failing her exams. Now, she realised, it was nothing but foolish.

Before going to sleep, Jenny was browsing through her social media, until suddenly something unusual happened. She was checking the videos of a popular astrologist whom she has been following for a long time, and in between of the daily horoscope astrologist squeezed in a promo of the page of some brown-haired, friendly-looking woman.

Apparently, this woman was some sort of a medium, someone who could transform other people spiritually - once and for all. Intrigued, Jenny went to her page. Transformation was something that would come in very handy, she thought. Actually, that was exactly what she was looking for.

The page greeted Jenny with clean, radiant luxury. From the lady’s bio it was clear that she was some kind of a spiritual guide. She lived overseas in a beautiful apartment overlooking a skyline of a famous western city. She wore expensive jewelry and clothes, her car was upholstered with posh brown leather. Her life seemed entirely worryless: travelling, going out dressed like a red carpet celebrity, taking part in stylish photoshoots. She was making memories.

Jenny opened this lady’s updates from today. Apparently, she had been promoting her product: a private chat about how you can magically transform your life. She claimed that her success was achieved by positive, playful mindset, the feeling of connection with the universe, the flow state. She had a special gift - she was a powerful mentor who could direct her divine energy towards you and lead you through the shortcut to great abundance hidden somewhere in the folds of reality. And you could find out how to make your dreams come true, too. You just needed to learn from her by getting access to this private chat with her voice and video messages. Only limited access was available, so her followers should have been grateful for the opportunity to get in such a close contact with the guru.

These posts were followed by some screenshots, apparently from her fans: various women seemed utterly exalted, praising their mentor for opening up some new magical side to them. They never felt so powerful, so alive. And funny enough, some wonders started happening to them: they multiplied their earnings, improved their love life and finally decided to pursue their passions.

This page was popular, and for some reason Jenny felt really cozy within its digital embrace. There were many women just like her, struggling to get their life together. They all started from nothing, and found the way out. There was hope for her. Who knows? Maybe, with this boost of spiritual energy she could finally break free from the tight shackles of poverty? It’s very unlikely of course, but what if it’s all real? At the end, this woman has achieved everything anyone could dream of - she definitely knows the path to success. And the others, too - she saw their pages, they were real people, nothing about them seemed unauthentic. In fact, they were completely ordinary - and for them, this practice worked. One cannot fake that, can he?

Thinking about all the new possibilities, Jenny nodded off.

When it was still very early in the morning, her alarm went beeping. It was still dark outside - winter in the northern latitudes was gloomy and cold, with daylight piercing through the murk for mere 6-7 hours a day. Jenny felt exhausted: vague images of stunning lives of others left a bitter aftertaste. She thought about all the dull, stressful work that was ahead of her this week and let out a sigh. She stayed in bed a bit longer, until it was only 15 minutes before her train to work was departing. Realisation that she might be late and get an earful from her boss gave Jenny an impulse of energy. She stood up, brushed her teeth and made a quick sandwich with butter and cheese. While chewing, she put on black pants and a sweater, tied her hair in a bun and grabbed a capacious, past-its-best brown bag.

To go to work, Jenny first had to take a train to the city. Then, another hour by metro and bus. It was pretty normal to spend several hours on commute where she was from. What else can one do, when there is no work in a small town next to a big megapolis?

Jenny was working as a waitress at one of the higher end restaurants in the centre of the city. The salary was not that high end, though. Only good parts were the tips and the opportunity to spend all day among well-dressed, refined customers. Jenny enjoyed talking to them, she liked to think she understood their language like no other waiter on her team. Sometimes she felt like she belonged to them, like she was one of them, even though she did not fit the textbook definition.

Today, however, was not her lucky day. She was not in a good mood, and, weirdly mirroring it, the tips were very dry. Her mind was busy contemplating whether she should take a chance and get spiritual guidance from this mentor she saw on social media. There was not that much magic in her life, she had to admit. Looking at the chewing faces of the customers, which today seemed especially distant, Jenny felt the world suddenly getting heavier, like someone was pressing on it with a big, weighty palm.

On the way home, Jenny slipped into the luxurious majesty of the guru’s page once again. So much was going on there! Today, the lady shared some pictures of a stunning French restaurant with shockingly small portions. In the picture, you could see her hand adorned with shiny diamond bracelet and rings. Then came her thoughts of the day: she wrote that real wisdom is not about the brain, but about the heart. It was written in a pretty specialised spiritual language, but from what Jenny understood, while heart has all the answers and keys to one’s success, brain can only bring unnecessary stress and scare the magic away. “Interesting”, thought Jenny.

“My teachings are not about the brain”, - the guru continued, - “So if you really want to let the Universe help you achieve your goals, you need to switch your mind off and open your heart to my blessing”. This was followed by some screenshots from her followers, which were thankIng her for changing their lives and pondering on how she was such a strong, mighty medium.

Days were gong by, and it was almost weekend when Jenny was summoned by her manager. “You seem really distracted lately. Any moment I see you not busy with the clients, you are on your phone. Did something happen?” - asked a concerned-looking, slightly round man in a grey suit. For some reason, Jenny felt really irritated by his question. She never liked negative feedback, ever since she was at school. That’s what it reminded her, schooling. By someone who was only managing the waiters, having no idea how tiring their work can get.

“Nothing happened. I’m doing my best to serve every customer as quickly as possible”.

“But customers are also noticing that your performance has declined. Your tips this week are lower than usual, and someone has complained that he did not feel genuinely welcome when you served him.” - continued the manager. For some reason, Jenny’s glance clang to his nameplate, which read “Bill” in italic. Gosh, how fed up she was with doing what other people told her to do, especially such uninspiring, down to earth people like Bill. There was nothing magical about him, she thought. No wonder he cared so much about such minor things as her checking her phone a couple times a day. She was working, she was completing her tasks, she was certainly good at it. Tips can fluctuate, it’s completely normal. He probably made up the story about the unhappy customer just to make her feel guilty and ask for forgiveness. But he was not going to get it.

“Look, Jenny, my point is simple. If you want to keep your job - and make no mistake, we have a lot of candidates who would be excited to take your place - so, if you want to work here, you have to stay focused on your work entirely. That means, no more browsing social media during work hours. Understood?” - Bill looked at her with a little frown. Then, probably realizing that he might have sounded too harsh, he added: “Emergencies can happen, and you can of course take a moment to reply to important messages when no customers are around, but I cannot allow you to be glued to your screen while at work”.

“Alright, - answered Jenny, - No problem”.

Although on the inside she was boiling, she knew better than to get in a confrontation. “Whatever, - she thought, - I will do as he says, when he is around. What he does not know, does not hurt him. I need to be more clever with it”.

Annoyed, Jenny counted her tips and went home. On the metro, with a familiar move she opened the page of the guru. It was like a digital amusement park. Again, many women were sharing their experiences and sounded absolutely ecstatic. Today, the guru was talking about her way up from poverty to the glittering world of fame and wealth.

Apparently, she used to be an ordinary human being, just like Jenny. She was working as a hairdresser. The work was hard, and she put in extra hours to one day be able to rent a tiny room and start her own hair salon. Until she was thirty, she was putting her work above anything else and her love life was non-existent. It was until one day she broke her leg and had to take a long break from work that she started reconsidering her life. She started exploring her spirituality, visualizing her goals and looking at life more lIke at game. The rest kind of grew from there: in three years, she had a successful business, a loving husband and any material things she could dream of. She asked, and the universe listened.

“I have only a couple of spots left available in my private chat», - she said - “So today is your last chance to enter. If you found my page, if something led you here - it’s not a coincidence. The universe has chosen you. Now, if you miss your chance, the door will close forever. Besides, it costs as little as a cup of coffee!”

“That’s true, - thought Jenny relieved, - or more like 3 cups of coffee at the café where I work, but still…it’s not that critical. I can certainly afford it”.

She felt a rush of energy running through her body like an electric charge. She knew what she had to do. In a couple of quick clicks, she paid for access to the private chat. “My life is never going to be the same”, she whispered.

Several months later Jenny was at work when someone called her by her name. Turned out it was a classmate of her from the makeup school, Rachel. Oh boy, she looked stunning! Her hair was neatly curled, her clothes, bag and jewelry looked expensive. Rachel insisted she would pick Jenny up from work at the end of the day so that they have an opportunity to chat.

When Jenny was finally free, Rachel was already there, eating a green apple next to her shiny car. “Jump in!” - she said cheerfully, opening the door for Jenny. “How are you, how is life?” - she asked when Jenny got in. She seemed to be full of energy, which was a bit irritating for Jenny, but she was so curious to know how Rachel got so successful that she was trying her best to act friendly. “It’s good, thank you. Working at the restaurant, saving up some money for vacation. I want to travel to Bali. Just a stable life, you know? But tell me about yourself? Seems like you’re blooming!”

“Aww that’s so sweet of you, - replied Rachel, - And I’m glad to hear you’re doing well. Regarding my life…it’s all…” - she nodded to her designer bag in the back seat, - “…pretty new.” She made a small pause, as if figuring out where to begin, then continued, - “Back when we were studying, I started doing wedding makeup, remember? Well, with time I started trying to also give my clients a boost of self confidence. At the end, this day just has be memorable, so if I can somehow help them feel more beautiful and special…that would be worth a lot. And it worked! More and more customers were discovering me by word of mouth. I rented a space, and when I finally met my co-founder slash investor, I already had a strong presence on social media. Bit by bit, it grew into our own small beauty studio in the city. The business is super stressful and things always go wrong”, - she laughed, - “But I’m pretty happy about where it’s going”.

They talked some more, remembering the old times and acquaintances. And at some point Jenny decided to ask Rachel about her stance on spirituality. Was she manifesting her success? Did she work with a spiritual mentor?

“Not really, - said Rachel, - I’m a bit sceptical about those things. Especially when there are so many charlatans out there trying to give people a magic pill…”

With an uneasy feeling, as if anticipating something bad, Jenny asked if Rachel had heard about the guru that she had bought advice from.

“Yes, yes, I know her! She has a beauty studio, and some of the people I work with have dealt with her…She is the perfect example of what I just said earlier: a total fraud!”

“What do you mean?” - asked Jenny.

“I mean, she is selling some blessings, like you can get rich by simply affirming that you are rich and stuff like that. And she is claiming that she is self-made…That’s not actually true. She basically married a rich guy some years ago, and he is giving her all these expensive gifts. Before, she was practically nobody. I bet he also invested in her social media promotions - you know, getting her page so popular? It’s all a facade. She was selling hairdresser courses before, but I guess they realized that selling blessings us way more lucrative. Oh, and all the negative comments get immediately deleted, so people believe it’s all real. Funny, huh, what people can do for the money? And all those poor souls who believe in that nonsense…I just cannot imagine how hopeless you need to be to really buy into that spiritual crap that she’s selling...”

Jenny did not know what to say. It could not have been that simple, could it?

This car, Rachel, her expensive bag - everything suddenly became unreal, unimportant. She did not remember how she got home, she was in a dreamlike, numb state. She took a long shower, cooked food, watched some TV. Tomorrow she was going for a brunch at her favorite café. Weather forecast was promising a sunny day with just a tiny bit of rain. Jenny went to bed and watched a new episode of her favorite reality show. It was about filthy rich wives of Beverly Hills, who were organizing endless parties and constantly having arguments with each other. Jenny would be wiser if she was in their position, she thought. She would not argue about such minor things.

Before falling asleep, Jenny opened her social media app. A new video from the guru greeted her from the screen. She looked as high maintenance as always: stunning makeup, shiny hair, expensive jewelry. She was talking about something. Jenny made the sound louder.

“…so they can never even imagine what it’s like to know the sacred truth. This world is full of brutal people, those who cannot see beyond the veil of their day to day life. They are guided by their brain, not by their heart, so the Universe is never going to listen to them”, - she seemed to be full of emotions, so she took a deep breath, - “I emphasize it always, that following the brain can only lead you to unhappiness. If you want your wildest dreams to come true, you have to follow the heart. I’m thrilled to announce that in my new course I’ll show you exactly how it’s done.”

And naturally, a dozen of screenshots with ecstatic expressions from the die-hard fans have followed. Jenny spent especially long reading this one from a woman whose husband was about to file for a divorce, but for some reason has changed his mind while this lady was listening to the course. “Wonders do happen sometimes”, - thought Jenny, excited.

[inventcolabsoftware]

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