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[daguerreotyping]

Detail from vintage photograph of an affectionate couple on the beach, one man sitting in the other's lap, their arms wrapped around each other, their cigar tips almost touching

[disgustingtwitches]

MDNI

Working at a restaurant with 141!(Part 5)

The shithead owner decides that he needs to sign up for a "restaurant renovation" show. Chaos ensues.

"A fucking TV show?"

Gaz frowns while polishing glasses.

"Told him it was a bad idea."

Price shrugs, lighting a cigar. You are horrified, being on the screen for millions of people to see was nerve wracking. And it'll be the first time you meet the owner.

"Restaurant renovation... Lik' he gives twa fucks aboot renovating this shitehole."

Johnny ashes his smoke and passes it to you. You take a deep drag and sigh, this is gonna be a disaster.

~

Cameras are set up everywhere, everyone's mic'd up, there are too many people in too small of a space. Some obnoxiously loud man introduces himself. He seems to be an amalgamation of every TV host you've ever seen, wearing too much cologne and too much hair gel. He puts a hand on your shoulder,

"The place looks terrible but at least they got something nice to look at here."

He flashes a smile, cheap veneer blindingly white. You awkwardly laugh while Price steps in, introducing himself. You scurry away to the back where the rest of the boys are,

"I want everyone to be on their best behavior today. No fucking around. Don't make me look bad."

The owner is a bland man, average height and weight, with a shitty haircut and wearing an ugly flashy shirt. He turns around and briefly introduces himself, he already smells like liquor. Great. He gets waved over to get interviewed by the host. You and the guys watch from the other end of the restaurant. It's quite embarrassing, the host pointing out how run down the place looks, the menu is confusing and overwhelming, and then asks if he's drunk,

"I can smell the alcohol from here Carl... it's only 11am buddy."

The owner stutters and blinks,

"I- just uh, just a crazy night is all."

The host stares, unconvinced. Carl shifts awkwardly in his chair. The next segment was ordering food apparently, so you were up. You walk up to the table as the host asks you a barrage of questions,

"How would you say the fish is here? Is everything fresh? What do you think of the steak? Do you have any recommendations?"

When you say you only ate the fries from here and he laughs loudly,

"That is not a good sign folks!"

He stares at the camera, showing off teeth that were too big for his mouth before you walk off and punch in the order. There's a cameraman recording John and Simon cooking,

"Steak and potatoes."

John reads the slip out loud, they move around the kitchen while the owner watches. For such a simple dish there's a lot of chaos, Carl is yelling at them to move faster and cook properly, John is busy arguing with Carl and burns the steak, Simon plates up the food and hands it off to you. You place the plate down in front of the host,

"Oh...oh my God..."

You keep a straight face, hands behind your back. The host looks back up at you,

"Does the food usually come out like this?"

There's a tone of disgust and concern, his eyebrows turned up, you shrug. He stares back down at the filet and cuts into it,

"It's very impressive that one is able to overcook such a large piece of meat. That takes...skill."

You watch concertedly as he picks up a piece and puts it into his mouth, it looks like he wants to cry.

He goes on to complain about the quality of the food to the camera as he walks to the kitchen,

"At least it's clean back here. I've seen kitchens in wors- is that a fucking pigeon?"

Sure enough, there is. How the fuck did it get in here?

"Oh! I just left the door open to let some fresh air in..."

Carl awkwardly tries to catch the bird while the boys watch amusedly, even the camera crew stifle a laugh.

"Christ Almighty, what is wrong with you man?"

The host shakes his head, watching the whole scene in disbelief. Eventually, the bird is out of the building and the sweep of the kitchen continues.

"Food is not expired, everything is stored properly, it's all very well organized. I was honestly expecting worse."

The host walks up to the bar next, plucking up bottles and examining them,

"So, Kyle is it? How long have you been working here for?"

"Just a little over five years."

Gaz leans against the bar. There's a gasp and the host waves the camera over,

"Look at this shit,"

He points at the label,

"Expired in August,"

You look over at Gaz and Soap, they look like they're about to piss themselves, holding back laughs.

"Of 2012!"

The host looks disgusted,

"Why didn't you throw this away?"

"Carl told me to not toss anything."

Kyle shrugged. Soap is almost in tears, shaking, trying to bite back a howl of laughter.

The next two days are like this, you don't know why Carl hasn't pulled the plug on this fiasco yet,

"I think he's getting drunker as the days go by."

Johnny says, ashing his cigarette. There's a nod from Simon,

"I think he enjoys being embarrassed, seems like the type to get off on that."

'The big finale' as the host calls it, means getting a new menu, refreshing the cooks(John's) skills, and cleaning out the bar. The place is opened and there's a line out of the door. It's overwhelming, the customers are putting on a show, acting like dickheads and sending everything back even when there's nothing wrong with the food. Simon and John are on top of everything, putting out food as fast as possible, Carl is shitting himself running around the kitchen like a headless chicken. The night goes by fast and everyone is at the bar,

"So the cooks are for the most part competent, the waitress is amazing, and the bartender is well... The man can do no wrong. The problem here is you,"

The host points at Carl who is fucking sloshed swaying back and forth,

"I genuinely think this restaurant would be better off without you."

Carl starts bawling. The host is visibly uncomfortable. The boys and you are looking at each other. Then when all the cameras and lights are gone, it's all back to normal. Carl is looking for reassurance from anyone and you and the boys just pack up and head home, Price patting him on the back,

"You'll be alright."

~

A few months later, you're all sat on the couch watching the TV. Johnny's over the moon pointing at the screen,

"Look thare A am! See hou sexy A look?"

He's smiling and waving at the camera in the background of the scene where Carl is crying his eyes out. That gets a laugh out of Gaz,

"You're a sick bastard, Soap."

Once the episode dropped, the restaurant got busy for a few months. Most of the customers are horny women ogling at Kyle. On occasion you get the request to bring out "the scary looking one" and you just laugh it off.

"You're so lucky working with all these guys, I don't know if I'd be able to control myself,"

A particularly drunk woman said to you one day. You just smile while Kyle winks at you over his shoulder.

[eupheme]

DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE FIC RECS

a rec collection of my fave logan and/or wade x reader fics - please give these writers some love! ❤️💛

poolverine recs | fic rec tag | these are all 18+

logan howlett x reader

— a different kind of training by @reidsworld

When sparring with Logan turns into something more.

— a peaceful repose by @d1stalker

After some time away on a mission, Logan comes home, and all he wants to do is be around you

— all day long by @ozarkthedog

Logan fucks you with one of his cigars.

— all's fair in love and viscera… by @sceletaflores

logan wants to spar…

— after midnight by @teamred

logan hates that you never listen to him and you can't stand how he still treats you like a kid. but tonight's your chance to change each other's minds.

— any other way and so contagious by @/teamread

in which your good friend, wade, ditches your planned movie night, but his roommate offers to watch one with you instead. however, logan ends up falling asleep on your shoulder.

— bloodthirsty and animal instinct by @hauntedhowlett-writes

when your next shipment of blood won’t be delivered to the x mansion for another two days, logan offers to help keep you fed. // after helping you out by letting you feed from him, logan asks you to return the favor.

— busy signal by @superhoeva

a phone call interrupts a relaxing logan.

— cliché by @/lovelybucky1

— cravings by @pedgito

with no threshold for pain, logan finds that losing control with you is easier, triggering a thirst that is insatiable.

— dog tags by @spiderispunk

— give me all of that ultraviolence by @joelsgoldrush

you give logan head for the first time.

— guard dog by @/ovaryacted

On another one of your joint club outings with Wade, your boyfriend Logan stands by to make sure you enjoy your night. Once you both arrive at your apartment, he tends to your needs and helps you relax.

— guilty pleasure by @/joelsgoldrush

after saving earth-10005 from impending disaster, wade convinces logan, the alcoholic and easily irritated mutant, to stick around for a while. he’s convinced that nothing good can come out of this experience, until he meets you: the charming bartender with a soft spot for swearing that matches his own. suddenly, sticking around doesn’t seem so bad after all.

— handlebars and morning ride by @wannab-urs

Logan teaches you to ride a motorcycle.

— heart made of glass by @/moonlight-prose

you couldn't control when they could come. the waves of nothingness - of battling with your body and mind in the hopes it would cause a shift. you wanted to control it. he simply wanted to help.

— heavy metal lover by @sceletaflores

the wolverine is a regular at your bar…

— help me hold onto you and one of me is cute, but two though? by @guiltyasdave

Logan deals with feeling guilty after he's accidentally cut you with his claws in his sleep. // Your cat-like mutation gives your life some cat-like qualities… like going through heats.

— intoxicating and intimate by @ozarkthedog

you warm Logan’s cock while he smokes.

— keep quiet by @sinsofsummers

logan can smell how much you need him as soon as you enter the room. what kind of man would he be to let you go unsatisfied?

— knuckle velvet by @ohcaptains

he walks you home, then lets himself in.

— house in nebraska by @venomnyx

Reader gets roped into saving the timeline with ex-best friend Deadpool, coming face-to-face with a variant of Logan that uproots memories she'd long suppressed, only to find that this version of him lost her in his universe, too.

— hunger by @/moonlight-prose

things are set into motion the second logan opens your drawer. suddenly you find yourself the center of a show with only one audience member.

— i want you by @/d1stalker

Logan is jealous of you and Scott's friendship, not knowing your true feelings.

— into the unknown by @yxtkiwiyxt

You, a dedicated doctor in a small town in the Canadian Rockies find your life turned upside down when you meet Logan Howlett, a mysterious man whose mutant abilities leave you questioning everything you know about reality.

— make it hurt by @wannab-urs

It’s difficult being the only mutant at Xavier’s school with regenerative powers. There’s no one you can spar with – fellow professors included – that is on your level. Not when you can kill them, but they can’t kill you. That is, until you meet Logan.

— never alone by @sunflowersteves

basically, you defend Logan and he quite literally goes feral.

— not your man by @studioghibelli

live giveth wolverine, and life taketh away. but sometimes…. the sweet, sweet void intervenes.

— nothing but time by @tonysopranosrobe

Logan likes to take his time with you. Sometimes he gets carried away.

— nsfw alphabet by @wolviensabes

— nsfw alphabet by @robo-writing

— on his six by @superhoeva

logan can't get enough of the xavier's School for Gifted youngsters' newest hire–you.

— one last time by @toomanystoriessolittletime

Three years ago you buried Logan on the day you were supposed to get married. When your friend calls you, telling you that she saw Logan at the bar she was at, you had to check for yourself if she was right. Not knowing that the night would end with you in his bed. And a surprise weeks later you were not ready for.

— origin by @/d1stalker

Two people, one shared past, and decades apart.

— play nice by @kiwisbell

logan and joel put away the claws and put their skills to better use.

— right where you left me by @moonlight-prose

logan was familiar with death. he understood why it happened, what could cause it to occur, and finally how to accept it. so when his family - the people he cared for most - died…he thought he could handle it. only you didn’t die. you left. now he’s found himself in a new universe with a person who wears your face, yet doesn’t hold your memories.

— 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐬 by @/superhoeva

logan can't live without you.

— room for rent by @/hauntedhowlett-writes

logan finds a new roommate.

— salvation and absolution by @elflutter

Logan would worship your body for hours if you’d let him. He can’t help but prolong your pleasure before finding his own. He once told you that it’s because you deserve it so much more than he does.

— say you'll remember me and everything stays, but it still changes by @avocado-writing

in the Void, after leaving the other dead in your own timelines, you and Logan are reunited. // you and logan have a pretty happy life… but there’s still something you want.

— secondhand smoke by @/ovaryacted

Waiting for Logan back at the X-Mansion, he welcomes you into his arms and enjoys his cigar with you on his lap.

— soft edges by @lubdubology

Logan doesn't know how to relax. So you help him.

— sugar by @studioghibelli

if there’s one thing logan loves- it’s fucking you.

— suspension bridge effect by @/d1stalker

You saved one of the younger mutants during a mission, and now he's obsessed with you, much to Logan's dismay

— taste me on your tongue by @/moonlight-prose

the taste of him became an addiction you couldn't ignore. especially when he was adamant on sharing it in multiple ways.

— the honda odyssey by @coweye

The car fight reimagined and it only needed to be like 10% more erotic than the original.

— the place where the pages meet by @/avocado-writing

You’re a bookseller. Logan is picking up a package.

— the worst logan and just logan by @/coweye

You are the deceased-anchor-being-Logan's lover, having found yourself with Laura in the void, you navigate meeting the variant of the love of your life.

— this is ours by @/d1stalker

It's your first time back at your grandparents' farm in years, and while many things are the same, one thing is not: they've hired a new farmhand.

— wish you knew by @/ovaryacted

After coming into Wade’s world following their team effort to save his timeline, Logan attempts to adjust to his new reality. In rebuilding his life from the ground up, your paths collide when he least expects it, throwing him off course.

— vis by @/ozarkthedog Logan's feeling impulsive before a mission and you happen to be within reach aka he fucks you in the jet.

old man logan x reader

— ain’t as good as I once was by @lovelybucky1

— be my baby by @cavillscurls

logan fucks you in your sundress.

— diet pepsi by @flowersforbucky

old!logan x reader limousine sex. inspired by the song diet pepsi by addison rae

— look at me by @silverskyeline

logan can't fuck like he used to, but you don't care. you get on top, gladly taking care of him in return.

— mean!oldman!logan takes you apart by @inkedells

Logan is sick and tired of you treating him like he's fragile. He'll ignore his relentless pain to show you what it's like to be taken apart, rough and slow, then fast and agonizing.

— never is a promise by @/joelsgoldrush

You are everything Logan isn’t: sweet, trouble-free, much younger—and, to top it off, Charles' caregiver.

— quiet drive by @wlwloverwrites

Logan likes quiet drives, but there’s only way that can happen when you’re sitting in the passenger seat.

— speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life by @/moonlight-prose

he knew he loved you when your words begin to piece his heart back together. he knew he loved you when he flourishes at your praise. he knew he loved you when nothing in this world could matter but the sound of your voice telling him you love him too.

— sweetness of the damned by @/moonlight-prose

when night falls and wine overflows in glasses of crystal, logan finds his home in between your thighs.

— the grave of lust by @/moonlight-prose

when his body doesn't work as it used to and the weary bones that poison his soul begin to ache, you take the lead in a dance you know well.

— two's company by @jen-with-a-pen

— white hot forever by @eddies-ashtray

Most days exhaustion plagues him. But tonight, with his last dregs of energy, Logan cooks for you. Though he’s hungry for something far more enticing.

wade wilson x reader

— gtfih (get the fuck in here) by @/teamred

every morning, you see a man and his dog walk past your bakery and all he does is stick his head through the door, inhales deeply, make a comment, then walks out. what gives?

wade wilson x reader x logan howlett

— car fight by @/avocado-writing

— home sweet home by @/teamred

this series compiles moments of domesticity, love, and more featuring logan howlett and wade wilson as your two boyfriends.

— i just want you to make a move by @/avocado-writing

You, Wade and Logan are on a stakeout after reports surface of a drug which only affects mutants. But what happens when you take a hit of it yourselves…?

— jealousy sex by @froggibus

— you & wade helping logan in a rut by @/avocado-writing

as I read more, I’ll post a part ii! and if you haven’t read these, you need to! and please support these amazing fics & writers by reading, reblogging & commenting 💕

[notspiders]

Oh, Honey! (Bumblebee! Reader x Monster! 141)

General Warnings: Mostly fluff. Reader is female and is described as rather small and chubby. Reader is clumsy. Reader has a very large family. Characters may act out of character. Poor grammar is likely. Cussing. Part 1??? Note: Monster! 141 belongs to @bluegiragi

~~~~

Price watches you through the window.

Truthfully, he isn't sure how he and his team ended up here. One day they were being chased by a bloody team of zombies/cannon fodder, the next- he's laying on this extremely cozy bed (although it is a bit small) with his wounds nicely patched. Soap has gone hunting with the other women. Ghost is satisfied that they're all safe in this... rather massive cottage and has been snoring away in the next room for the past hour. Gaz has told him that he's going to just fly around and keep an eye out- just in case if the enemies somehow find themselves through the dense woods and into this clearing.

They really were lucky, Price thinks. According to you, the woods were a force themselves. Navigating through it, especially at night, is practically impossible. Compasses don't work. There's no signal and, of course, any type of aircraft just fail here. The woods are miles long and unless you packed enough supplies- it's suicide to dive back in and try to find your way out. It's just that sometimes the woods can help you, and sometimes the woods just gives you Mother Nature's middle finger and kills you. So there's that.

Naturally, the team was suspicious.

1) The explanation made no sense. 2) They were just outnumbered by a ton of enemies and to stumble upon this welcoming lot is... well, it's too good to be true, yeah? 3) You and your family are just way too happy. 3.1) There are no guys in your family. Your mother stated that men generally just wandered in, the family would treat them, and then they go away by themselves after a few nights. 3.2) Honestly, all of you look the same. Maybe there's like, a difference in hairstyles, body types, and obvious age gaps between the women here and there, but Jesus… Gaz has already made the mistake of confusing you, your cousins, your many sisters, and other random girls multiple times last night. 3.3) Scratch out the 'massive cottage' you guys claimed it to be. It's a mansion. Your 'family' is very large. There are many aunts, other women, cousins, other girls that were adopt into the family- Just no men. All living under the same roof and might as well be an army itself with how efficient you all did your tasks.

That said, it's very rude to point guns at innocent, clueless civilians. You, an adorably chubby, little bumblebee-hybrid (identifiable by the two rather pathetic buzzing wings behind your back), opened the door to them last night and stared blankly at their guns before cheerily ushering them in without freaking your head out. Next thing they knew, they got some quality homecooked meals cooked and served before them, plenty of drink (the honey mead everyone shared is excellent), proper treatment with their wounds (with... herbs), and warm beds. Ghost had stayed up the whole night and snooped around (just in case) but reported nothing interesting except for a few old hunting rifles and some overdue library books. Yes, each girl did carry a tiny foraging knife, but he's pretty certain they could still punt them like footballs ten at a time.

Morning comes- the team properly introduce themselves without being too specific of their occupation. There was a great deal of oohing and aahing as Price unfolded his one wing. His smoke did cause one girl to faint and her mother quickly asked for Price to... stop. He did his best and has, for now, stopped smoking his cigar. Everyone just steered clear from Ghost. Many children were petting Soap's head and playing with his fluffy tail, and others were stroking Gaz's wings.

Despite all the attention, Price's gaze is always on you. Maybe it was because of the fact that he's seen you first. You were just the cutest out of all of them. He wanted to whisk you away just to squish every soft part of your body and have you cuddled up beside him in his nest back home.

He's sorely disappointed to be told that he needs to return to bed so that his wounds can heal faster. No matter. The window gives him a very nice view of the clearing outside. Some girls are tending to the farm. Others are beekeeping. Plenty have gone to the outskirts of the forest to forage or hunt. Soap has offered to go out with the girls and they gladly accepted his help. (Tomorrow, he'll get off of this bed and join everyone too.)

Right now, you're picking the berries in your garden. It's amusing to watch you. Sometimes you bend over to pluck a few pretty flowers too- he's gotten a very nice view of your plump arse here and there. He's watched you buzz your small wings to just barely get a foot in the air and pluck an apple off the tree. Oh, how he wished to simply go out to lift you up himself... Your weight would be nothing to him.

From his observations, he's smartly deduced: Your body is round. Your little wings aren't designed for distance.

He loves the way you'd burrow your nose into any flower. Sometimes you remind him of Johnny's eagerness by the way you'd get a bit too enthusiastic and faceplant into the bed of flowers to take in the scent.

Price watches you get up, bump into your cousin (or is it sister? Or is this another girl? He couldn't be arsed), and the two of you collectively squeaked and apologized at the same time. Adorable. Fascinating. Beautiful. He hasn't felt this way ever since the time he xaight the glimpse of the shiny Excalibur in that stupid rock.

The lunch horn has been blown. He's been told that today's meal would be freshly baked bread and creamy chicken with wild rice soup. There’ll be tea and coffee for the drinks.

Price wishes his lunch would just be you.

[writingoddess1125]

Jessica Rabbit Effect pt. 4

So a lot of people have asked what if Crocodile & Mihawk found out about Buggys hot wife. So here we are!

Previous <<<

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Masterlist <<

• Buggy would be dragging his feet and reluctant on letting you go.. Truthfully he wanted to keep you on his little island village were you could live in ignorance and bliss. (Cause he's possessive)

• However it seemed some things couldnt be helped-

• Especially after your kidnapping attempt. So he felt safer dragging you with him to the Cross Guild meeting-

• "I'm so nervous" You admit, stepping in land as he kept you close.

• "Don't be- You'll be fine. I promise nothing will happen" He stated confidently, you assuming because these men were his friends- (While Buggy ment he'd kill to make sure no one harmed you)

• Once inside you saw them- And you damn near were ready to run back to the ship..

• They looked so much scarier in person!

• Craning your head up to meet the two massive men- Your nerves now all over the place as they just seemed to stare down at you.

• Hard-

• Your hand instinctively squeezing Buggy for reassurance.

• "Croc, Hawk- This is my Wife (Y/N)" Buggy said calmly with a hint of irriation in his voice at having them meet you at all, keeping a secure hand on your waist as you smiled softly at the two infamous men, still a bit nervous.

• "It's lovely to meet you both"

• Sir Crocodile and Mihawk exchanged puzzled glances as they stood before Buggy's wife.

• Perplexed-

• This pretty women was Buggy's wife?- Sure they had both heard rumors that she was apparently attractive but they assumed this was just Buggy's dramatic words floating around.

• However you were actually gorgeous!?

• Crocodile muttered, "Lovely to meet you as well-" Migawk nodding in greeting to you.

• "I know its a bit short notice me coming here and all, vut I made you both some gifts as a gesture of kindness" You say so sweetly as you reach into your bag and pull out the nice gifts for both of them nicely wrapped in colored tissue paper. Mentally praying Buggy's information was correct.

• Both Guild Leaders took the gifts in question- Still assuming something about this was fishy as both slowly ripped the tissue paper to take a peak at what you'd made.

• You had made a beautiful silk orange gold puff tie for Sir Crocodile since Buggy kept saying he was wearing a 'scarf' as a tie (But you knew better that it's a Puff Tie and not a scarf)

• And for Sir Mihawk you made him a white ocean cotton button down with front frills, you didn't make it as dramatic as you typically made Buggys but it was a incredibly pretty and beautiful shirt that would be comforble to wear whenever.

• Both men stared at the gifts, like they were trying to figure out what sort of trickery this was.

• "You made these?" Mihawk questioned at first,

• "I'm a seamstress" You state calmly, a bit worried they wouldn't be interested. However smiled when Crocodile complemented your craft and the quality of the tie.

• Once inside the main meeting room, conversation flowed naturally, You chatting up both men so they could become familiar with you. Even telling them the story of how you and Buggy met all those years ago.

• "Are you wanted to married him?-" Crocodile mused, taking another drag of his cigar.

• "Of course! He's so sweet afterall" Buggy looked miffed by Crocodiles words and the fact you gushed so much-

• Mihawk was the most interested in you however, taking sips of wine as he looked over you calmly.

• "Would you reconsider your marriage for a more suitable option?-" He so bluntly asked which made you blink in total surprise.

• "HEY!" Buggy yelled, Wrapping a protective arm around you as he began to yell at Mihawk for daring to 'hit on' his lovely wife- His temper definitely getting the best of him.

• Buggy throwing a full on tantrum now as he pointed a finger at Mihawk and screamed at him. The yellow eyed man grabbing his sword in warning-

• You flushed in embrassment and patted Buggys arm gently to calm him down before he got chopped to bits. "No No- I'm very happy in my marriage and love my husband dearly. I wouldn't choose anyone else-"

• Buggy stopped his little tantrum and seemed to be soothed by your gentle hands and soft words.

• Both pirates respecting such a loyal trait and moving on from such conversations.

• Both Guild Leaders found you quite enjoyable- You had wonderful humor, great in terms of conversation and essentially made up for everything your husband lacked.

• Work did take place however, Buggy and the two men talking over strategies of wealth and gaining a greater sense of power between them all.

• They did however find it irritating they couldn't beat Buggy's ass like normal- Seeing how it would upset you and the man seemed to be practically glued to you.

• By the time for you and Buggy to retire, Maps, Plans and even money had been exchanged-

• As the meeting delved later. Food and Alcohol was served, which left you full and a bit tipsy. Leaning your head on Buggy's shoulder as you soon fell asleep against him.

• "(Y/N)? Buggy said softly, claiming his arm to properly secure you against him as he saw your sleeping form.

• "Seems it's time to go our separate ways" Migawk said calmly, having finished off 4 bottles of wine himself and not too far behind you in terms of sleep. Crocodile wiping his mouth of the crumbs with a napkin as he set his near finished cigar on a ash tray.

• "Yes.." Buggy said softly, scooping you up with care.

• "....Since my wife is asleep- I need to say this to you both"

• Buggy didn't look at the two of them just stroking your hair as you slept- "I will only speak this once... If you two hurt my wife or make her upset in any way- Death will be the kindest thing I can give to you"

• They had always know Buggy hid his true abilities and simply didn't take things seriously- But they saw you were his only button.

• His only weakness-

• No words were exchanged, but a silent agreement seemed to settle on the three men.

• You were off limits.

• Buggy carried you out of the meeting hall, taking you to his private quarters so you could rest properly. Already mentally mapping out changing you into your nice PJs-

• The two men left behind watching their peer leave with his prized wife. Crocodile muttered, "How did Buggy manage to snag such a pretty and sweet wife?"

• Mihawk, equally mystified nodding in agreement.

• "It's a mystery as profound as the Grand Line itself."

Extra!-

"I can't believe those dirty bastards got you to make them clothes!" Buggy yelled, stomping his foot dramatically as he watched you sew at a purple and gold vest which clearly would belong to Crocodile by the large size.

You sitting in your favorte chair, dressed in comforble clothes as you continued to work into the evening in the home you shared with your dramatic husband.

"I make all your clothes" Gesturing to his low riding pajama pants and socks he was currently sporting. He waved this off with a dramatic eye roll-

"That's different your my wife and I still pay for your time since it's important! and they shouldnt get it fre-"

"They are paying me Buggy Boo" You cut him off quickly, taking the winds from his sails as he stopped mid rant.

"Eh?" He said confused, not knowing what you were talking about. You reach into your vanity next to you and handed your husband the letter both men had slipped you when you'd first met them in the guikd hall.

"They have me a lump some for 5 peices of clothes for each of them. 2 pairs of trousers, 2 shirts and a special item for each. For Crocodile he wanted this vest Im working on- and for Mihawk to restore a coat he liked" You explained, Buggy raising a brow at this news as he opened the letter quickly and read over how much they offered for such peices.

....

"GAHH!-"

Buggy yelled as he fell to the ground foaming at the mouth at seeing the large number.

15,000,000 Beri for each man....

He couldn't complain-

Well not about the men paying you so handsomely but about having to become the grumpy delivery man for his wife once the clothes were finished.

When he went to the meeting handing his two peers the clothes they had specially bought from you in the nice boxes youd always packed everything in.

Both men quick to open them and look over their new purchased goodies. Mihawk immediately putting on the repaired coat after seeing its quality- which was better then when he bought it.

"Tell your wife I'd like to make another commission when she has free time- I'll pay double" Mihawk said smoothing out the coat and seeing the nice gold pattern on the sleeves and nice red satin insides of the inner coat.

Crocodile adjusting his orange Puff Tie and he nodded in agreement and went through his box with great satisfaction. "Same for me as well-"

"I fucking hate you both..."

[frudoo]

just saw the anon for reader helping slasher 141 and now im thinking about actually doing the whole thing. like finding someone, kidnapping them and torturing them. she does it as a gift or surprise. maybe its their anniversary and she wants to give them the best gift ever.

I love this idea, but I just can't see reader ever participating in the torture aspect of her boys' work. She's absolutely not above kidnapping, though.

Warnings: Dark!Fic/DDDNE. Y'all this one is gross (just not in a gory way). Kidnapping/drugging.

 “I have to say, little girl, you look absolutely delicious tonight.”

     You giggle, allowing him to twirl you and trying not to suffocate on the smell of his cheap cologne. The man is loaded and he won’t even spend a pretty penny on some quality fragrance? Although, what else could you expect from a conman like him?

     “Not so bad yourself, Mr. Chief,” you purr, yelping softly when he pinches your asscheek teasingly.

     You want to vomit. Really, you could do it right here, all over his pristinely polished shoes, or on his tailored suit jacket and annoyingly bright tie. The fact that you’ve managed to keep this charade up for the past couple of weeks is astonishing, to say the least, especially given the fact that you’ve been hiding it from the boys. It kills you to see their disappointed faces every time you turn down a night in with them, making up poor excuses about how you’re just going to decorate your classroom, or that your friend has been having a rough time and you’re going to her house to support her.

     The truth is that you’re doing it for their benefit. Herschel Shepherd has been on your boys’ radar for years now, long before they ever met you. It’s just been too risky for them to attempt anything, be it a kidnapping or assassination. He’s too public of a figure as head of police, meaning that he’s protected by a multitude of security personnel, and on top of that, can easily defend himself. Even if they tried to befriend him, suspicions would be raised and it would likely fail.

     That’s where you enter. You’re exactly the chief’s type—a pretty young thing with big, soft tits and a charming smile. The only thing you’re missing is the naivety he’s so desperate to corrupt, but you’ve proven yourself a wonderful actress and he’s none the wiser. For someone who used to be a detective, he really is clueless. Someone should have taught the old man not to flirt with strangers on the internet. You’re just grateful that he took the bait so easy, all too eager to get his dick wet. 

     “Since I’ve treated you to such a nice dinner, how about giving me some dessert?” You hear his knees pop when he bends to whisper into your ear.

     “Anything for you,” you murmur back, “Daddy.”

     For the love of all things holy, you cannot wait to get this bullshit over with. Shepherd wraps his arm around your waist and ushers you into his limo—he really wanted to go all out for his ‘girlfriend,’ apparently. The inside smells like cigar smoke and you have to bite back a frown. It makes you think of John and how desperately you’d prefer to be in his arms instead. In all of their arms. With every disgusting, sloppy kiss the sick fuck peppers across your jawline, you have to remind yourself that it’s all for them.

     For them, for you, for every poor family he’s ever screwed over. It’s all too familiar, the coverups, the paying off coworkers and employees so that they keep their mouths shut. You’ve read about countless cases against heinous criminal acts that were suddenly dismissed when a certain slob threw a large sum of money towards the judges. You can’t even begin to imagine how many women alone have been assaulted because this corrupt piece of shit paid to let their abusers go—and for what? To gain favor? To get reelected? God knows he cheats his way through the system anyway.

     You feel your hand being tugged and realize that you’ve arrived at the parking lot where your car still is, some random garage located in the heart of the downtown area—about an equal walk from any little shop or restaurant in the vicinity. Your ‘date’ furrows his eyebrows and looks at you, confused.

     “A little Toyota Corolla is more inconspicuous than a limousine, don’t you think?” you hum as you pull out your keys.

     “Right,” Shepherd nods, opening the driver’s side door for you. “We are still going to the hotel?”

     “Of course.”

     He buckles into the passenger seat while you start the car, messing with the air conditioning like it’s his right. You avoid rolling your eyes as you begin driving, softly humming along to the radio. There’s a tin of mints in your glovebox that you pull out and offer to him. All according to plan, he takes the bait.

     Almost instantly after popping the tainted mint into his bastard mouth, he starts getting woozy, saying odd things and swaying in his seat. Adrenaline rushes through your veins—this is really happening. You’re kidnapping the chief of police, your husbands’ most desired target, driving him back to your home to be tortured and killed. It’s surreal, and there’s guilt eating away at whatever sense of retribution you’d created in your head. Still, there’s no turning back now.

     No turning back from the rattle of his unconscious body as you drive over the gravel path leading to the barn. No turning back from the strain you put on yourself as you haul his deadweight through the random pieces of hay, nor the act of tying his arms behind the metal pole in the stable where horses should be but has only kept victims. This is a decision you made and will have to live with. For the greater good, you ask yourself, or for the praise you know you’ll receive from your boys? In the end, it’s all one and the same to you. 

     As you stand over the comatose-laden sleazebag, you hardly make out the sound of the barn door slamming open and all four of your lovers trailing in with wide eyes.

     “Bloody hell.”

     “No fuckin’ way.”

     “Steamin’ Jesus, hen.”

     “Darlin’, how in the fuck did you manage this?”

     There’s a beat of silence before you turn around to look at them, your face maddeningly neutral.

     “Happy anniversary, guys.”

[st0r-fruit]

Overlord Reader Hcs

A/N: Hi, this is my first time writing headcanons for reader, so please let me know if I made any mistakes! I made this because i thought it'd be nice and cool to have a reader as an overlord. A heads up that i haven't fully watched Hazbin so there might be inaccuracies.

You're an overlord, right? And not just an overlord, you're one of the richest, next to the Vee's.

You own a fine plaza of drugery and alcoholic, and a top quality successful companies of those. It's not a surprise, you're the overlord of substances and alcohol. Demons will pay MILLIONS of bucks to have a stash of your finest drugs.

You have a district on the border city zone in between the district's of the Vee's, Carmilla Carmine's and the inner city of Pentagram City. Your district is a melting pot of cultures due to being in the middle of other districts.

In a meeting with other Overlords, you'd take important notes and remind others if things drift away. That fight between Velvet and Camille? Yeah you had to break ice to ease tension before forgetting the main goal of the meeting.

Your seating position in meetings is on the right side of Rosie, your best friend.

Honestly? You're everybody's comfort buddy, even to Alastor. You bring in some comforting presence to other demons.

Relationships with other Overlords

Valentino is your top customer, ordering around 20 of your fine drugs, wine and fancy cigars. He is usually the one to make your stock reduced to little to nothing if he buys on a day. He doesn't trust any of the other companies who sells the exact items, even if you say it's excellent quality.

Technology in your small place is quite modern and techy, thanks to Vox. You flatter Vox on how advanced and cool his technology is, he usually is flustered and grumpy hearing that from you, but you know he likes it seeing that he gives you multiple rather big discounts on his products.

Your fashion culture is jumbled too. Making Velvette, the queen of fashion, questions each of your outfits. She's actually impressed, being able to mix and match right article of clothings. She gives you unsolicited advice on fashion, but you tried one of those once and BAM! Slayed 10x more with that advice. You'd took mental notes of her advices and thanked her whenever you can.

Speaking of clothing, you liked shopping and browsing in Rosie's Emporium. YOU are one of the favorite customers of Rosie. She loves your interest on 1910's fashion, frequently treating you on some products. You two would gossip on the emporium, spilling teas and laughing your asses out from all the stories.

Zestial likes to visit your plaza for wine tasting, loving all of your finest selections of wine and a surprisingly rare collection of teas (with cheese! You were prepared with the teas incase he didn't like any of the wine). You and him likes to talk about improvement of each districts with a side of said wine and cheese. Oh how he'd rant to you about Velvette's attitude and you'd pat his back.

Carmilla is another one of your customers, frequently ordering drugs and medicine from you. The drugs you produced somehow made her swifter at combat and confidence. On the other hand, medicines you produced was strong and high quality, it kept her from being irritated of Velvette.

Alastor was...quite the intresting demon in your opinion. Although, you try to not get any troubles with him, so acquaintance is the perfect word for the two of you. He once visited your alcohol parlor to find a nice wine to side with his mom's jambalaya. Of course you helped him, with your naturally charming personality and helpfulness, the radio demon got his wine. The next day, you received a homeade jambalaya soup from him, as a thanks for finding the nice wine. Maybe he's not that bad?

I hope you all like it!! Let me know if you like a part 2! Or do let me know if there's any mistake!

(holyshit i reached the tag limit guy oh wow)

[wammyhoe]

How would they comfort you?

Wammy guys are late twenties to mid-thirties | SFW | HC

L

Not the best at comforting, but he tries, and we’re giving him points for that!!

L provides information or facts to help you deal with the problem or lighten the load.

Focuses more on the practical side of problem-solving. For instance, what can you do to better your situation, what are your pros, and what's currently happening that you haven't noticed.

Your stress slowly fades as you listen to him ♡

He would help you look at the bigger picture to soothe you! like he did with Light's Dad right before the Yotsuba arc, if I'm not mistaken

If the problem is unsettling for you, he might take matters into his own hands and disappear your issue sooner than you can say "detective."

Beyond Birthday

B provides unique ideas to approach the best ways to deal with whatever is upsetting you.

Offers unconventional solutions that make you laugh!

He doesn’t submit to a problem; he dominates it. Aggressively. And so will you! Don't worry ♡

Mello

One of Mello’s best qualities as a boyfriend is that he’s quite understanding. He’d listen to you first, then expose what he thinks you should do.

My boy can't help but be a tiny bit desensitized due to years on the street and in the mafia. Yet, he listens without judging and sincerely hopes his take on your issue helps.

On a side note, if the issue has a name and he can get rid of it, he'll gladly do so!

Matt

Matt buys you stuff to make you feel better, mostly food, I think.

He would try to make you laugh.

Offers you a cigar as you talk, you know, to release some stress!

Near

Near's comfort would likely be pragmatic.

He'll offer rational advice and observations, analyzing the situation objectively to help his partner gain perspective on their feelings!

Near expresses his care through small gestures of kindness and understanding, such as offering a listening ear or simply being there for his partner when they need him most ♡

[euovennia]

Could I be able to put in a request

BFF ghost part 3 😂😂

Please 😊

i've put off pt 3 of bff ghost for far too long and i apologize for that. i hope this part makes up for it!!! let me know if you'd like to see more as it's always so fun writing these out! thank you for requesting, and as always, i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: none besides ghost being cute lil softie

summary: when the 141 is granted a much needed break, simon discovers you have no one to go home to and decides to intervene.

i don't know about you guys, but i personally feel like price can be a little shit when he wants to be

so when he gets the idea to try and get a two week break approved for the 141, he doesn't tell any of you for two reasons

the first reason being he doesn't want to get anyone's hopes up in case it's not approved, he'd hate to see the lot of you disappointed

and the second reason being he lives off the way all of you communicate to each other with confused glances and hushed whispers when you catch him walking toward his truck (yes, he has a truck. it's a pickup and he's named it betsy courtesy of gaz. argue with the wall) with his duffle bag full of clothes

you, gaz, and soap are all quietly arguing amongst yourselves to see who's brave enough to ask price if he's abandoning the task force

and simon will just kinda roll his eyes before pushing past the three of you and walking up to price and saying something like, "what's this about?"

then price, the deceitful little bastard, will turn to face all of you with perhaps fakest expression of confusion before he just goes, "oh, i didn't tell you? 141's been given a two week leave."

and if weren't for the smug smile stretched across his lips, you all probably would've believed that he genuinely just forgot to tell you because, hello? old man alert.

anyway

gaz and soap are quick to shout out their disproval of him not telling them until literally the very last second because, hey, what if i wanted to travel and go see family?

but let's be honest, price is a thoughtful man so he definitely spent the last few weeks asking each of you questions here and there about what you'd do if you got a small break

best believe that man is gonna splurge on some plane tickets if need be because he just loves his dumb little unit that much

he'll probably even blabber off something about needing that money back, but honestly, just get him a pack of quality cigars and all is forgiven

anyway

price offers his final goodbyes before driving off leaving the rest of you to just kinda stand there in shock of what just happened

it's soap who break away first by perking up and declaring that he's finally gonna be able to see his family again and his outburst will cause gaz to come to the same realization

so they give you and simon their farewells before running back off to the barracks

you'll kinda stand there for a bit not really knowing what to say, but then simon will nudge your shoulder before walking off to the barracks with you in tow

you both split off so you can go to your own rooms to pack and it doesn't take you very long

i imagine you'd stop by simon's room to give him a quick goodbye, but quickly decide to scrap that plan when you find his room already empty

so now you're pretty much just quietly making your way over to your car with your bag slung onto your shoulder as you try to figure out what the hell you're gonna do with yourself for the next two weeks

meanwhile you don't even realize simon is leaning against your car trying to figure out why you look so down when he thought you'd be the happiest out of any of them to finally sleep in your own bed for once

but you're so wrapped up in your own head that you nearly jump out of you own skin when simon's deep voice cuts through with a simple, "what's wrong?"

and once you've finally calmed yourself down you'll look up at him with a quizzical look, "why are you still here? i thought you left already."

and he'll just kinda rolls his eyes before responding, "you thought i'd leave without saying bye?"

and you'll shrug with a simple, "figured you'd wanna hurry back to your back to your batcave."

and this definitely gets a small huff of laughter out from him because of course you still hadn't let that joke die out yet

he's amused by it and he probably always will be but he'll never tell you that

even though you already know

"'nough of that. what's wrong with you?"

you'll just kinda shrug him off, "nothing, why?"

and he won't even respond to that, he'll just give you a blank stare like 👁️👁️😐

and as comfortable as you've grown with each other, that stare still makes you feel pretty unnerved so you'll break, "just don't see the point in going home if i'm just gonna be all on my own is all."

and he probably doesn't see it as a big deal at first cause that's literally what he does all the time

and he'll probably go as far to even say something like, "people do it all the time, you'll be fine."

and you'll try to take it in stride because you know deep down he's right, but you're still a bit down about it

and he knows you are

and so he does something he never imagined himself doing. ever.

"you want some company?"

and you just kinda scoff at first before saying something like, "who's gonna stay with me for two whole weeks?"

and that's when you look up and see him staring down at you with an expectant gaze and then it all just kinda clicks so you're just like, "oh."

and while that reaction would've been more than enough for him to freeze up and retract from the conversation entirely in the early stages of your friendship, he's come to understand you're just a bit shocked so he'll ask again with a bit of rephrashing

think something like, "either you say yes in the next five seconds or i leave you in the dirt."

obviously you say yes

you take his truck (yes, he also has a truck. fight me.) because he states it has more leg room than your car

but in reality he just likes the idea of finally having someone to ride along with him in his truck because he's never gotten comfortable enough with anyone to have them ride with him :(

and you just want him to be as cozy as possible so you agree

and while many may think driving with a man as prickly as simon is nothing short of hell on earth

it's honestly just straight vibes

he's quick to show you his little stash of dad rock CDs and you'll go through them all before eventually putting one of them in the player

and there's no way you can convince me that this man won't jokingly criticize whatever CD you chose to play because he lives for being a pain in the ass

nevermind the fact you purposefully put in his favorite CD because you explicitly remember him telling you all about it one evening while you two were having dinner in the mess hall

anyway <3

having already been friends for quite some time now, i think it goes without saying that you two are able to fall into relatively easy conversation

it probably starts off mainly being about work, but then it gradually turns into talking about the others and speculating on what they're doing with their time off

you throw out the playful idea that soap is living it up on his nan's farm with the livestock, specifically the sheep

simon probably offers a comment about hoping they're all ramming their heads into his body

then you say you can imagine gaz spoiling all of his little nieces and nephews with an abundance of sugar and toys that are maybe just a tad too expensive for kids that aren't even old enough to go to school yet

this will probably just cause simon to let out a light scoff as he mutters something about, "having to sit through a slideshow of those damn kids when we get back," and you can't even argue with that cause it's totally gonna happen

then i can imagine you two falling into a small bout of silence before you decide that price is probably having the time of his life sitting in his boat on a lake and catching some fish

and simon wholeheartedly agrees with you because price and a quiet fishing trip go together like popcorn and butter

it just makes sense

then you'll say something like, "i know he's old, but he doesn't have to act like it."

and this is where simon reveals that he also likes having quiet fishing trips mixed in with a bit of hunting

and you can't even really make fun of him for it because it just fits so well and you'll probably make a little comment saying something like that

and then he'll just casually sprinkle in the fact that his original plan was to have a small, private hunting trip as a way to relax and decompress from the hustle and bustle of life in the 141

this revelation causes a small pit to grow in your stomach and you can't help but feel bad as you let a small, "i'm sorry simon."

and look over at you with a perplexed stare as if to say, "for what??"

and you'll just kinda sink into your seat as you explain, "i didn't even think to ask if you had plans. i didn't mean to take you away from anything."

he holds himself back from rolling his eyes as he lets out a grunt before saying, "don't worry about it."

you just give him a small nod before looking out the window, still feeling bad having imposed on his original plans

and he knows you still feel bad so just sighs before speaking in his usual gruff tone, "look if ya really feel that bad, next time we'll just go back to my place and we can hunt then so stop your mopin'."

this little statement is more than enough to get you to snap your head back over to him with a look of shock present on your face as you speak out, "wait, what? you'd actually want me there?"

and with his eyes steady on the road he'll just bluntly say something like, "friends hang out. we're friends, aren't we?"

you can practically feel your heart just burst

you pay no mind to the dopey grin that makes its way onto your face as you perk up in your seat and quickly tell him, "pull over."

he looks over at you with an almost overwhelming amount of exasperation in his eyes, but still does so because it's you

once he finally pulls over on the side of the road, he'll look over to you and open his mouth to say something, but he can't even get out a single syllable before you're unbuckling your seatbelt and flinging yourself over the console and enveloping him in a bear hug

this man is just so, so confused by this point but he doesn't hesitate in returning your hug

after a few moments he'll just kinda ask, "why the hug?"

and with your arms still wrapped around him tight you'll respond, "you just said we're friends, this is a big moment."

if you thought his confusion in this moment was already bad, it just gets so much worse cause he's like, "no it's not? what are you talking about? are you ok??"

and you're determined to make him understand so you'll pull back enough to face him and you'll just say, "you've never said it out loud before."

but this poor man

he just doesn't get it so he'll just say something like, "i thought it was always obvious."

and this is probably where you realize he's not gonna get the significance of this moment any time soon so just roll your eyes with a smile before surging forward and burying your face in his shoulder

he goes to say something again but you're quick to interrupt him with a quick, "shut up and let me have my moment."

this time he does roll his eyes, but he still decides to comply with your wishes

he'll tighten his grip around you, one of his hands going up and down the curve of your back as you float on your cloud of happiness

you're just so grateful to have the honor of calling a man like simon your friend and even more grateful to have the privilege of having him return the sentiment

so what if he's a big, scary man?

he's your big, scary man

and you wouldn't change that for the world

neither of you would

:)

[listofwhyyouloveher]

hiii, what and do you think the gangs phone wallpapers would be and would they possibly be reader?

Summary: The Outsider's phone wallpaper Warnings: modernized outsiders Author's Note: i've been waiting to do this ask for so long LMAO PONYBOY CURTIS Ponyboy is definetly the Gen alpha of the group so he probably has something dumb like freakbob. either that or something completely unrelated to anything like a random house he likes. he would totally make you his wallpaper if you were together! It would just be an awkward photo of you, something like when you were looking behind the camera rather than at it or not even looking at all.

example vv

JOHNNY CADE I am a Johnny cade phone doubter, I do not think this man owns a phone, maybe a flip phone if he's lucky. However, if he does he'll probably make his phone wallpaper something like the gang all hanging out together, or those silly things where its a description of himself (blood type, weight, eye and hair color etc.) incase he loses his memory. He would make you his wallpaper but it would be something probably without your face, like maybe if you gave him matching bracelets it would be of that example vv

SODAPOP CURTIS Sodapop will either have something completely dumb or very smart for his wallpaper. It could be one of those high quality images of space or the nerd emoji just really bad quality.

bonus, he never clears his notifications and likes to look at them and pretend he's super popular even though half of them are of Darry asking him where he is. He would make you his wallpaper, it would totally be a candid of you two goofing off together. example vv

STEVE RANDLE I think Steve would never have a serious photo as his wallpaper, UNLESS it's of him at the gym. (im so sorry.) It one of those photos that he uses everytime he gets a 'wdyll' text, he's so proud of that photo. Or it's one of those lobotomy core slideshows that he crudely screenshotted and made his wallpaper LMAO if he puts you in his wallpaper, he makes sure he looks cool. If he likes how he looks in the photo, you're good. example vv

TWO BIT MATHEWS ok forgive me for this one guys but Two Bit's phone wallpaper is obviously those ai generated images of Mickey Mouse where they make him have face tattoos, grillz, cigars, hellcats etc. he loves it so much that he uses ai to make multiple ones every now and then to get new wallpapers LOLL if you're in his wallpaper it's going to be a funny pic, something goofy or when he catches you off guard. example vv

BONUS: it's one of those awkward jc penny photos LMAO he would LIVE for those example vv

DARRY CURTIS Darry is the grandma, and for that reason, he probably 1) has a phone but rarely uses it, 2) doesn't have a phone, or 3) has an ipad. His wallpaper is either the gang or it's of some motivational quote against a very pretty sunset. or it's just the basic wallpaper that came with the phone. he'll always want you on his wallpaper (once he learns its a thing that couples do), he'll choose the best photo of you he has. It is a good photo but its just you looking straight at the camera and although he can look at it all day, the rest of the guys pretend to have staring contests with you on the wallpaper. example vv

DALLAS WINSTON say it with me now, dallas winston can not afford a phone and the phone plan!!!!!! dallas winston is a BROKIE. he is a BROKIE!!! and even if he did have a phone the screen would be so cracked that you wouldn't even be able to make out what the wallpaper was supposed to be. But if you could, it would probably be a photo he thinks is 'tuff', him with Buck smoking a cig against buck's car, dallas showing off his heater, a bunch of his belonging that he thinks are cool (rings, cigarette boxes, the heater and the st.christopher necklace) he would not put you on his wallpaper. NEVER. and im sorry to the dally girlies, i know how you feel because i am a dally girlie too </3. the only way i see you being on his wallpaper, is if you are in one of his 'tuff' photos, or your hand accidentally brushed the counter he set his things to take a photo of them. example vv

i found all the photos on pinterest and although i sincerely hope this doesnt affect my pinterest fyp LMAO none of the photos were used to hate or bash on anyones looks, every one here is super pretty and i am going to marry them,

[deadpool-wade-wilson]

*a gift box appears, wrapped in half red & black and half yellow & blue wrapping paper. The box contains: hello kitty pjs & squishmallows, premium gun oil, aloe for sensitive skin, and coupons for an authentic Mexican restaurant for Wade. And for @wolvie-peanut : high-quality bourbon & imported cigars and flannel shirts. And for Mary Puppins: new squeaky toys, tiny dog shoes, and dog treats*

The card reads:

To the Wilson-Howletts

From, @emmagical-bennett

this is the best thing ever! And look Wolvie! She got you and Mary Puppins something also!

Thank youuuuu!

*hugs the shit out of one of the squish mallows*

[dovabunny]

141 Love Languages

Gaz: quality time

Laswell: deeds

Price: cigars and no paperwork

Ghost: be Soap

Soap: be Ghost but naked

Rudy: a necklace of Grave's teeth

König: pretend you don't see him stealing your shirts to wear on his head

Roach: pest on the streets, best in the sheets

[wraithdance]

The TF 141 Compatibility Love Report

For: @sentientcave

Disclaimer:

This is based on my personal opinion and interpretation of you and the character. 

the user makes no claims to be a real doctor or any medical professional. The (not) Doctor has but a penny and some lint to her name so please don’t sue if you hate the results! (seriously these student loans are already taking their pound of flesh, in the words of Whitney Houston (RIP Queen) I have NOTHINGGG!)

The Doc says your TF 141 Perfect Match is…

Captain John Price!

Romance: Do you possibly have a thing for authority? Maybe you like the idea of having a partner who is consistently solid in the face of adversity?  If so then I think Price is for you! John is a solid force. Often his more forward nature is overshadowed by Ghost, but Price is just as focused and relentless. As a partner to you I think Price would help guide and affirm you in a way that is calculating and keeps in mind your need for agency. Despite his more gruff qualities I think he has the capability of being kind and affectionate to his partners. Holding you close by a fireplace, kisses on the cheek that itch because of his beard, drives in the countryside with his hand on you at all times. Price’s relationship with you would be like Whiskey and Sunday mornings.

Don’t cuss me out, but I think maybe you’d like a bit of dominance and possessiveness kink? If I’m not wrong, Price would work for you well. He is someone with infinite control of his emotions but he makes what he wants and how he wants it well known. That would apply for you as well. I think you have an invested interest in morality or at least in being understanding. I can’t see you enjoying being with someone who is completely in it for themselves, so Price and his morally gray views are the perfect medium. He’d also be the type to go down swinging about you and God forbid if he can’t get down and dirty in a fight he’d use every trick in the book to psychologically handle business.

Which leads me to the freak shit!

Sex: Idk my radar is pinging off a possible size/dominance kink friend. Price is someone who would take control of your senses in every way. The layered notes of the cigars he smokes on his skin, using his broadness to overwhelm you, gruffly whispering what he’s gonna do and how. Yeah… he’s great if you want some nasty freak shit that toes the line to being a no holds bar wrestling match. Despite the fandom calling him old I think his pride and self control will keep him in the sack. Good luck Charlie (hahaha) because he’s not someone who’ll be okay with giving you the bare minimum. 

Possible points of Contention:

Self righteous

Obstinate bastard

Morally gray may turn a lil more in the black when threatened

Beard burn and your couch will always smell of smoke 

Your Poly Pairing (haha) is….

PriceSoap!

This is all intuitive and the dark spirits tell me this is the pairing that would work best for you. I think the two would always keep you on your toes in the best and sometimes worst ways lmao. Every day would be different with them and who doesn't like a owner (Price) who has perfect control of their dog (Soap). Soap can remind you to smell the roses and roll with the punches and Price will be the solid force behind you, ready to lend an ear or take over if you need him to!

[wordy-little-witch]

Okay time to project~

Cross Guild poly info, but I'm gonna focus specifically on interdynamics because I freaking adore them and as someone polyamorous myself, it's super important to have and foster connections one on one and by and large.

Let's begin!

CrocoHawk

• they have had a mutual respect for one another for years prior to falling into orbit of each other. Mihawk always found Crocodile's no nonsense attitude to be wonderful and Croc in turn found Mihawk's unapologetic authenticity to be refreshingly real. They really went from acquaintances to friends to lovers pretty smoothly.

• they both enjoy quality time as their preferred dates, either something parallel where one reads and another practices something or they attend something like an opera or an event with minimal socialization with others.

• Crocodile cannot cook, but he is a decent prep assistant so some moments between them are in the kitchen with music playing and it's quiet and peaceful.

• they're both very hard headed and set in their ways. They're also opinionated. Sometimes this makes them a force to be reckoned with as a united front. Sometimes it means they fight like cats and dogs.

• they both take a very long time to come around to the idea of being a unit as opposed to two small islands with a little bridge between, but once they do, they are COMMITTED.

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CrocoBug

• They knew of one another prior to Roger's execution. Crocodile was on Whitebeard's crew specifically which occasionally crossed the Rogers. He had seen Buggy around a few times and never understood the appeal until one evening after a friendly battle, during the feast, when Buggy walked right up to Roger, handed him a small bottle with a tiny scowl, and said "your chest is crying again, you didn't take your medicine." Roger laughed it off, complied, and sent the angry boy on about his evening. When asked about it, Roger laughed brightly, explaining that he'd caught a bug a few islands back, Buggy and Crocus were being overly protective, and the kid's observation haki was off the charts, even by his standards. If Buggy says he hears something, Roger tells them proudly, you'd damn sure better listen. Crocodile ends up looking over, trying to steal glimpses of this young child who earned such regard from such a man as Roger.

• they go years without seeing one another, though Buggy did have a bit of a puppy love crush on Croc when he was young. It eventually petters out, and they are tangentially aware of the other in a vague sense. It isn't until Impel Down that they are pushed into proximity again. Crocodile was uncaring at best in the beginning - and then there was a damn near revolt on the stolen ship, he was preparing to go on the offensive, and Buggy - enigmatic, long haired, cowardly (?) Buggy - stomps it out faster than Croc could fathom. It is then, seeing the glint of calculation behind fiery blue eyes, that he begins to Think.

• nowadays, they are together, and their preferred time together is usually parallel engagement. Croc will do his paperwork and report reviews while Buggy works on trade routes, navigation, ciphers and his weapons stores. The Guild expands rapidly with many offers of sponsorship or partnership as they extend their horizons beyond general bounty assignments.

• Buggy sings to himself while he's working, a soft little thing where his voice pours over words and melodies like honey. Croc gets to used to it that sometimes doing his work without the background noise leaves him antsy and bored. He's embarrassed to admit it.

• Buggy meanwhile begins to associate the scent of Croc's cigars with productivity. You know that saying, some folks wind you up and others calm you down? That's the poly ship, but Croc and Buggy wind each other up.

• they both have formidable tempers. Usually it doesn't ignite on each other - Buggy out of mild fear and desire to not fuck it up - but when they do explode on each other? Oooh, it can get WILD.

• the make up afterwards is equally if not more so.

• Crocodile is the one to bring up to Buggy questions about his mental health. It's not to be mean, but he poses it as a "I once had this business partner who did X, Y, Z things, you remind me of them a lil bit. You good?"

• Buggy's all over the place and needs near constant assurance that he is loved in a way that makes sense to him. He will not ask for it because he's both embarrassed by it and also terrified to be denied outright. Luckily Crocodile doesn't pull punches. Words are not his strong suit, but his affection and care are shown in other ways that Buggy learns to know.

• on Bad Days for either of them, Buggy demands snuggles. He's a cuddly person by nature, and he can usually convince Crocodile to at least humor him in that. His baby doll eyes are a lethal weapon, and so he'll climb Croc if the other is busy or will drag the other off to pull him down on top of him, tuck the other's head on his chest over his heart, and will play with black-violet hair, singing, chattering or simply breathing. It's good for them both.

• they also bond over the fruitwanis. Buggy adores animals, loves them so much, and the fruitwani are no exception. He enjoys learning about their care, likes learning in general, especially when it's important to him or interesting. Crocodile is happy to share something he loves so dearly with a person he loves as well. ((His biggest act of devotion, respect and care is when he gifts Buggy his own 'wani. The reptile hatched differently from the rest, either smaller than average or with an odd coloring scheme or something else. Crocodile took one look at the baby wani and thought "Oh, my clown would love you." The idea remained for a good deal of time. Survival of newly hatched wanis is finicky, so the idea remained until he knew this one was likely to live, to survive and thrive with the right care. He trusts Buggy with that care. The trust is not lost on Buggy when Croc gives him the lil one))

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HawkBug

• while they don't seem to mesh at first glance, these two actually compliment each other nicely. Buggy matches the energy around him when he isn't in a position or role to perform. This can lead to cute moments, soft moments, and absolutely unhinged moments

• Mihawk has many bird like tendencies true to his moniker, but he also spent a lot of time with the humandrills and so has some more.... animalistic ape like habits as well that he hides more often than not. Chief among them is his version of a smile being more bared teeth and his habit of grooming others. It's acts of service and instinctive. He is thriving.

• on that habit by the way, he and Buggy are both autistic coded to me and I love the idea of them sharing in stimming and hobbies and special interests. Mihawk is No Thought Head Empty when Buggy is going absolutely insane over chemicals and synthesis and balancing equations. He enjoys seeing the clown so happily animated. He understands nothing other than Happy Clown, Happy Birb. Buggy likewise doesn't understand a lot of Mihawk's gardening but he loves seeing his swordsman boyfriend enjoy himself and stim while talking.

• speaking of stimming - Mihawk loves Buggy's hair. It's a good color, texture, look, thickness, weight, he is constantly fighting a battle to not just shove his hands into the hair 24/7. Buggy wouldn't mind at all, he likes having his hair played with usually, but Mihawk had a Reputation. Once the Guild calms a bit more and everyone relaxes into each other, he'll stim more freely with select people around beyond his boyfriends.

• Buggy has spent a lifetime trying to avoid some of his more notable stims in order to be taken seriously, so having Mihawk unapologetically saying "wait no tell me more" or "do what makes you feel best - you are most beautiful when you are happy" makes him SOAR with butterflies. Visual stimming absolutely is great, but he also loves vestibular and kinesthetic stimming. Aerials his beloved ♡♡♡

• stim dates stim dates stim dates

• speaking of dates: despite general ideas, Buggy's not always one to want big Flashy dates. Sometimes cooking dinner with Mihawk while they chat or play music or dance in the kitchen is the most rewarding to him. They usually wind up both laughing and pressing close and sharing kisses while making whatever recipe they decide on. Sometimes Mihawk will take point with a dish he knows well. Sometimes Buggy is the one in the lead. Regardless, it's usually a cozy affair with good food, better company, some drinks and cuddles near the end, all wrapped up with a good book or conversation.

• they both have a guilty pleasure for trashy romance novels, so sometimes they'll both read a book, have a lil book club about it and have fun discussing it, making fun of the wording or plot or characters, sometimes trying to figure out positioning in certain scenes and then absolutely losing it when they make eye contact either because of how ridiculous the posing is or because one made a stupid yet silly comment or one liner that sends the otherr into hysterics.

• Mihawk snorts when he laughs and Buggy loves getting it to happen.