#best friend felix my beloved

[echo-rambles]

so I've been slowly trying to rewrite my very first chan fic, now that I have more experience with reader insert and I also have leagues more confidence.

-o0o-

“It’s a friend thing! Friend’s hang out all the time. We're going to go get coffee or something equally platonic and we're going to ignore all of the drunk texts I sent him!” Your voice raises in pitch towards the end, and it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than anything else.

Felix gives you a very unimpressed look. “You told him that you miss the feel of his-”

“I know what I said! Thank you.”

Those texts are burned into your brain, you're well aware of the things you sent Chan. How they got more detailed the more you sent. Just remembering some of them has you flushing.

“I mean," Felix hums, oblivious to the direction your thoughts are taking. "I guess it could be a thing friends do.” There's too much sarcasm in his words for your liking.

“As if you haven’t said something similar to any of your friends.”

One of his eyebrows arch, and the gesture is so very pointed. “Any friend that I’ve gotten on my knees for was never at any point an extremely complicated ex.”

"Oh, shut the fuck up." He's right and you hate it.

[ybklix]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫

★ pairing: softdom!felix x fem!reader

✦summary: In every relationship there always comes a time to reveal certain things about each other... but no one prepares you to tell your incredibly sweet boyfriend how much you want him to fuck you hard.

♡ genre - warnings: smut, established relationship, idol!felix implied, oral sex (m. rec.), handjob, spanking, fingering, use of vibrator, edging, unprotected sex.

word count: 5.5k

╰ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ masterlist - taglist forms

request by anon (just to write anything about my beloved)𓂃 ࣪˖

divider by vg-k

He was the sweetest and most tender man and you loved him so much; you couldn’t ask for better, Felix was dedicated, funny, spontaneous, sometimes he demanded a lot of attention but you really didn’t mind giving it to him, you knew each other for almost a year but you started dating barely four months ago. You started as best friends, you trying to catch up with every thing Felix enjoyed because you really liked him, his persona and charisma, and when the feelings came you both got shy, until you really decided to take the first step and once and for all confess him how much you like him and, you expected nothing less, he was quite transparent, it was obvious he also liked you and wanted to go out with you.

You were celebrating, finally four months in your relationship and as expected Felix had prepared for you a very beautiful evening and night, taking you to dinner and then to an art exhibition, later leading you both to your apartment where, like a gentleman, he would come to drop you off at your place, but you insisted he should stay, you loved him so badly and you needed him so much right now; you were completely in love, appreciating every tender detail he creates for you, no matter it was such a typical kind of date, for you with Felix everything was perfect, even down to the sex, which you were looking forward to having after a romantic night.

You played with Felix’s shirt neckline, looking at your fingers and then staring at him, he returned the gesture, wrapping his hands around your waist, you felt so warm and pleasurable his touch; you were still a little shy, however you came closer to kiss him, igniting every corner of you, in a nice way, feeling his lips glued to yours, but as time went by, you noticed that Felix squeezed your body tightly, he didn’t want to let you go, kissing you with more intensity and delaying the act.

You both parted almost letting out a sigh and a smile reappeared on your face, your boyfriend looked so good, letting his long dyed blond hair loose for you, dressing casual but at the same time elegant, you adored everything about him, the way he showed his affection towards you, every day he was more affectionate, you didn’t know if you could stand such cloying acts but with Felix everything was possible.

“So do you will stay?” you asked him, with your arms around his neck, wobbling at his closeness and gently tilting your head.

Felix’s big eyes twinkled, his slightly curved eyebrows lowered, looking at you fondly.

“Mmm, okay, if that’s what you want.”

You nodded encouragingly, kissing him again with the intentions of a sweet, quick kiss then pulling away but he wouldn’t let you, pulling you to his body and positioning his right hand on your lower back, gently pushing you further into him. He did it, after the quick kiss, pulling your bodies together, staring at your lips for a few seconds before you caught each other again in such an intimate act.

A much more passionate and lustful kiss ensued, slowly creating tension in the air, your mind whirled a bit, as you found the way Felix pulled you closer to him and how he sought your lips because he wanted to do so incredibly hot. You enjoyed his touch and caresses, his full lips brushing yours as his movements subtly asked you to open your mouth wider so you could feel his slick but shy tongue. One of his hands held your face while the other gently massaged your body between your lower back and butt, weakening you, you were slowly falling, and beginning to turn on.

As he moved away again you noticed Felix’s dark leering gaze, his glossy, slightly puffy lips tinted a bright pink, and subtle pink his freckled cheeks, you knew he was a little embarrassed, but you also knew exactly how very needy your boyfriend was, you knew him so well. He licked his lips, leaving you completely hypnotized into him; you sighed half-heartedly and excitedly, as much as you had loved his cute date, every now and then you had certain kinds of thoughts of how much you would love to have Felix right there at that moment.

“Oh, Felix,” you said entertained, lowering your eyebrows and looking at him with big admiring eyes, “You’re already hard with just a few kisses?”

Felix swallowed nervously, bobbing his pronounced Adam’s apple in his throat and running his tongue along the inside of his lower lip.

“Can’t help it, you make me feel this way, dear” he replied, aroused with his voice slightly thicker.

There was no point in teasing him, you were just as horny and wet from his minimal caresses anyway.

“What can I do?” you whispered, moving closer to him and lowering your hand to his hard crotch in his pants.

Felix sighed excitedly, enjoying the moment of your hand caressing his cock, he closed his eyes, gently tilting his head back and letting himself go. You gently kissed his neck, to get on your knees and start unbuttoning his pants, Felix was surprised to feel you do it, he looked at you, he was so nervous but with his body temperature so high, it’s been two weeks since you had sex only because you saw each other occasionally as you were both busy adults and all your outings were sweet and tender... but deep down you were craving it and fantasizing madly, sex.

You tugged his pants down to admire his erection between his underwear, you were about to pull the elastic too, when your boyfriend spoke, his thick voice and slightly unsure tone, you knew he was nervous but not to start talking between aroused and anxious.

“Y/N...” you looked up, his pretty face looking down at you from above, with your hands placed on his underwear, Felix blinked nervously embarrassed to say it, “I... I haven’t waxed down there...”

He swallowed nervously and a wide smile formed on your face, you looked at him amused and fondly, pouting as you find it cute, he being so worried by something you didn’t even care about in the first place but him so, since you knew he had to maintain a very specific image.

“Do you want me to stop?” you asked innocently looking into his eyes, knowing perfectly well his answer…

“No” he whispered embarrassed as he shook his head.

You tugged at his underwear too quickly upon hearing his response, eagerly looking at his erect member and your boyfriend’s anatomy entailing his so intimate area, from his pubic area with light freshly shaved hairs, to detonating his swollen and slightly tanned cock; you held it, stroking and masturbating it, weakening your boyfriend, falling into pleasure letting out moans from deep inside him. Usually you used to be the one who had to initiate something sexual, and you didn’t complain, you loved that you both enjoyed the process but... sometimes you wondered when would be the day that Felix would get to go wild, leave the shame aside, that he would suddenly take you just because he wanted to fuck you just because he can, just because he is your boyfriend and suddenly he was hard, you wanted him to take initiative and fuck you hard, since every time you did it, he was so affectionate, making love to you, however not fucking you hard. You felt bad, but sometimes you wanted to be treated a little, rough and you didn’t know how to tell Felix about it, you didn’t treat him as innocent, on the contrary, you knew he could handle that and then some and he was so capable with that potential, you just dream of the day when he would be more dominant.

“I think it looks really hot, I like it” you answered him, looking him again in the eyes trying to hide how incredibly horny the slightest and simplest thing related to him made you, making your boyfriend blush, pressing his lips together and smiling downwards.

You opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue and resting his cock in it, starting to tease his tip with your tongue, tasting it and making subtle curls around it, driving Felix crazy, who gently grabbed your hair; finally you took his length slowly introducing it into your mouth while your available hand played a little with his balls, caressed his perfectly manicured pubic area and your hand went up to touch his abs under his shirt.

You sucked his cock hard, making him whimper and you bravely introduced his entire hard length into your whole mouth, filling it with it, taking it deep into your cavity, you did your best to make him feel your soft lips sliding all over his cock as well, starting to move in a pace, filling your cavity with his perfect measure, sliding light precum from the edge of your lips, you were doing well enough to make him so that, with trembling legs and loud whimpers, Felix cum completely filling your mouth. You were so satisfied but excited at the same time, every part of your pussy was throbbing hard; you licked and sucked every drop out of him with a smug expression on your face, happy that he felt so good with you.

You stood up quickly, seeing the ruddy expression on his face, swallowing every bit of him without even having to ask, you just wanted him that badly.

“You wanna fuck me now?” you asked him with a cocky smile to which he watched you with his big dark eyes, almost begging for it as he nodded.

You began to gently push him off his abdomen until you took him to the couch in your living room where he fell into a sitting position, completely lost in the incredible oral sex you had just given him, hard in seconds again as he realized what awaited him. You began to undress, once again without him even ordering you to do so, just to be naked for your boyfriend, feeling the direct physical contact on your skin that you loved so much. Felix licked his lips and opened his eyes in surprise, seeing your naked body, unable to believe that you are, for him, incredibly beautiful, hot, intelligent and his girlfriend, who knows exactly how to treat him sexually well, that in a short time you knew every inch of him, every thing that makes him tremble... however he did to you, he had so many things to explore, you loved to be treated with love, but there were times when you fantasized one or another questionable sexual act.

You positioned yourself, Felix shuddered at the thought of his unprotected exposed cock shoved in your pussy, and you let yourself fall all in one sit on his cock, stuffing all your core, making them both whimper softly, but you enjoyed the sudden pleasurable pain. You rode your boyfriend’s cock, leaning on his shoulders, kissing him passionately, panting, while he held your waist, accentuating your every move on him, besides not leaving his hands still and caressing your body which drove you crazy, you adored the soft way he kept caressing you, you wanted to live on his caresses forever. You moved your body, grinding his balls, raised and lowered your ass, ramming your pussy with his cock in the perfect and most glorious pace, accompanied by his hot moans that motivated you more and more, in conjunction with the noise of your soaking wet pussy being pounded by his cock and your bodies colliding.

You felt your boyfriend’s cock swell and throb between your walls, signaling his orgasm after a series of movements and suddenly you felt his cumshot straight inside you, leaving Felix slightly tired. You continued to use his cock, until you cum, whimpering at such a pleasurable sensation, throwing back your head in exasperation. Feeling the fluids ran down his length and out of you. Then you rested your face between his neck, admiring his sweet scent. Felix immediately stroked your bare back, feeling the warmth and weight of your slightly shaken body on him.

“Let’s try something new next time” you suddenly dared to say still a little agitated.

Felix stopped moving his thumb a little, stopping stroking you for a few seconds, completely confused as to what you meant.

You didn’t know how to say it, you adored making love with Felix, but sometimes you got so wet at the idea of him behaving a little differently in bed. A little fear came over Felix, your sentence could mean so many things.

“I mean...” you almost sighed, not finding the right words to say how much you wanted to be a little dominated in sex, something normal but it caused you a little embarrassment, “You know... I can create something really sexy, oh I don’t know what I’m talking about, just try new things.”

He looked up, in his typical expression as he was thinking, creating in his mind the myriad of things that could be meant.

“You’re talking... about sex?”

“Yes, Felix, yes.”

You felt his heart race as your face was almost stick to his chest, the idea popped into his mind and he couldn’t help but get excited, suddenly he needed all the details, but you were a little embarrassed to tell him; he kept asking to which you only answered that it will be something that you will soon think of doing.

[...]

And since that day Felix couldn’t stop thinking about it, he thought about it at work, when talking to you... he was just so excited about the idea of something new in sex, new sensations, or just something different than usual. Since he had this bright hope that you would be the one to surprise him.

That’s why, days after your suggestion, of which you were somewhat embarrassed, as you felt that maybe Felix might get offended or overthink the situation and way he fucks you, however Felix came to your apartment completely determined to try new things and find out what you were talking about, because, he was somewhat shy when it came to sex, but he absolutely loved every part of doing it with you, a simple blowjob from you left him on cloud nine for days, he thought of nothing else, but seeing you and how much you both make each other feel good. He had his innocent appearance, but inside him there was a burning fire that only you were capable of causing in him.

It was a simple movie night in your apartment, Felix saw you lovingly welcoming him into your home with one of his very cute and warm kisses, he enjoyed your tender moment, he really loved you; but once you parted and he walked into your home, he couldn’t clear the dirty thoughts from his mind, and from boldly looking at your body with his dark gaze. He was so hard from just imagining and imagining.

He let out a loud sigh, which surprised you and made you turn to look at him.

“What shall we see today?” he said, trying to clear his mind.

“Mmm I really wanna watch movies, pleeease don’t fall asleep, this time, I wanna talk about them later, have you rested?” you answered excitedly, approaching and hugging him while looking him straight in the eyes.

Felix took your face tenderly pouting slightly, “Well... you know how rehearsals are... but I’ll do my best not to fall asleep.”

You smiled at him in response and after ordering everything from snacks to getting comfortable in your bed, you both started watching the movie, you completely unaware of how horny your boyfriend was getting; you really didn’t have any plans to have sex with him, you wanted his company and love, you thought it would be one of those nights where he would fall asleep in your arms, but Felix was more than awake.

You leaned more to his body, resting your head on his chest while he put his arm around your shoulders, Felix found the closeness in which both bodies were, tender... but at the same time he felt guilty for being aroused, he noticed that you had no intention of inciting something sexual, so the question ate him alive... he should be the one to express that he was dying to touch you and for you to touch him...

Minutes passed, unconsciously you rested your hand on his thigh, tensing him more, you notice a slight restlessness in him but you didn’t take great importance about it, you had never believed that it was him who starts asking for sex.

“Hey, sweetheart...” he finally spoke, nervous and ready, he got your attention completely, you paused the movie and stared into his eyes waiting for an answer, completely innocent, expecting something normal from him, “It’s just... I’m, I’ve been...”

You blinked, being patient to whatever your boyfriend had to say, sometimes he struggled to form the right sentence and thought, quickly raising the arch of his eyebrow and looking up; you saw him, your face so close to his.

“Mmhum...?” you replied, patiently waiting for him to form the right sentence.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day and I really... I want to know, I want to try.”

You noticed Felix slightly nervous, so you frowned, confused as to what he was referring to, you forgot even what you had eaten and you and Felix would talk for hours about so many things it was hard for you to remember.

“Felix what are y...”

“Sex, of trying something new” he interrupted you, embarrassed, surprising you completely.

You smiled amused without thinking, the sudden comment struck you as funny, one second you were doing nothing but watching a movie to going from him, the shy and embarrassed Felix talking about sex and a stupid comment you made on air that you had forgotten, yes you fantasized about him maybe too much in him torturing you a little, playing with your body’s ability, spanking you maybe, but you were totally resigned in that maybe sex with him would always be sweet and every time you are on top on him it’s when you can fuck him hard, you didn’t care, you loved him, it was all good, you knew that despite being a tender and sweet man, there was also inside him carnal desires that he liked to satiate with you which you got a little excited about. You also thought about the possibility that as time went by in the relationship, that topic maybe was something natural, something to be said by chance.

“Oh... that, it was nothing, I don’t even remember why I said it...” you spoke in a carefree tone, trying to deflect the topic.

“You said it for a reason and now I want to know, tell me what you want to do” he added, in a serious and grave tone, giving you the good kind of chills.

You looked at him for seconds, trying to process the intensity with which he suddenly spoke, you could listen to him talk for hours, when he got serious like that you couldn’t help something inside you glowing, somehow; but you had to snap out of your trance.

“Oh... it’s something silly I said, don’t worry..."

“Say it, I want to know.”

You didn’t know exactly why you were now the shy and nervous one talking about sex, but the intensity of Felix’s —almost always vulnerable— eyes, made you realize that he was aroused, you knew every look on his face, it was so obvious, you did your best to watch him slyly but he noticed the way your gaze went down to his lips to his body, going all the way down to his notorious erection. Felix froze, petrified by the desire he had for you.

You smiled internally, you really didn’t think it would be a night of sex with your boyfriend, but if you left him like that, you would be so cruel...

“Sometimes I think...” you moved closer to his face, more confident as you finally understood the complicated situation he was in, “about you can really fuck me hard, you’re so gentle and I adore it, but Felix, you can really try anything with me, spank me, choke me, I’m fine with that.”

You tried to use the right words, not basically saying that he should be the one to take control. Now it was Felix who smiled in amusement.

“Oh, so that was it, you want to give it a try now?”

His cocky tone sent a vibration through your whole body, this time you felt embarrassed by the way he reacted. You nodded without thinking, you would never say no to him anyway. You felt small before him, who with his hands took your face, looking at you with affection and lust.

“And how you wanna start?”

You got excited, at the same time you felt joy, you knew Felix wouldn’t stop being him and would wait for one or another instruction from you but for some reason right now you were really turned on.

You thought for a few seconds and looked at his soft hands on your face, giving you the sweet idea of him spanking you. Because you knew damn well he’d never be able to hit you. You smiled mischievously and in one sharp movement you positioned yourself on top of him, feeling his erection press into you already sensitive spot.

“Spank me.”

You replied happily, giving him a quick kiss. Felix looked at you in confusion.

“Spank... you?”

“Yes, play with me, do whatever you want, I’m yours.”

Felix went on his typical little nervous mess again and you noticed it, causing you tenderness. Your phrase rumbled every part of him.

“Okay... we should...”

You interrupted him, bringing your face close again, brushing his lips. He couldn’t finish his sentence.

“You decide everything this time” you replied, then kissed him.

Felix reciprocated your passionate kiss instantly, hungry for your affection from the instant he saw you. You began to move on his cock, squeezing it hard and rubbing your pussy on it. He gasped, breathless, moving his face away from you.

“Take off your clothes, love” he requested, “Just leave your panties on.”

You bit your lip, accepting everything instantly, thinking about how fucking turned on you were, your pussy and heart pounding, going over and over that it was finally happening.

You removed in front of him and over his lap your blouse and bra, causing your boyfriend’s positive reaction, seeing his eyes sparkle and licking his lips.

Felix was about to fondle you, but remembered that you had told him you wanted him to fuck you hard, so he programmed his mind and would do his best to be hard on you.

You got up on your knees, pulling down your short denim skirt and somewhat awkwardly managed to finally get rid of it.

“Alright” he said, between a halting sigh, taking courage to continue, “So you want me to spank you, then... settle down yourself, princess.”

Felix about to hit you? The idea heated your body in seconds and you obeyed him, settling your body above his, leaving it at his mercy of your almost bare ass on his lap, your pussy was soaking wet, you could cum at any moment for his touch.

He sighed, somewhat loudly, drawing all the air from his chest, ready but incredibly aroused but he wanted to learn to control his body as he wanted only to make you enjoy, if hitting you a little made you enjoy.

Felix caressed your bare back until he reached your lower back between the slight curve raised that reached your ass, which he also ran his soft hand over, feeling the fabric of your panties, while the other caressed and squeezed your thighs. He noticed how very wet you were and you couldn’t see him, but he raised his eyebrows quickly almost thinking ‘wow’, and pulled the fabric of your pussy away out of curiosity, finding your lubricated and needy area; his penis throbbed, also so needy for you. You were so vibrant, dying to be pleased. He rearranged your panties, again remembering how you wanted to be treated and he was going to give it to you.

“If that’s what you like...” Felix said, tilting his head a little at the hot position you were in, just for him and with that said, your first spank, “Then I give it to you.”

Your second spank, making you moan, his hands were gentle but his strokes moderately intense, Felix brought all his fingers together to drop his hand on your ass, turning it red; Felix continued, caressing your ass after every spank, and by the sixth one he felt so wrong but so right, enjoying your body reacting to every stroke and the sweet sounds coming out of your mouth. Felix couldn’t hold back, he had to touch you, he loved doing it, so he started stroking your pussy, running his fingers hard through your wetness through the fabric causing you to gasp.

“So you gonna cum until I tell you so? Are you gonna obey me?” he said curiously with his gaze on his hand touching you.

“Y-yes, Felix.”

He was surprising you little by little. And he found the situation very exciting. Felix pulled down your panties, finally parting the tight, wet fabric of your pussy, he separated your folds, leering at your anatomy, then looking down your back, he began to slowly and gently caress your labia, moistening his fingers, making you throb in a voracious hunger for sex and finally he slipped three fingers into you, whereupon you contracted your body, lifting your calves into the air and curling your feet.

Felix smirked smugly at your reaction because he painstakingly inserted them so deep into you as he had ever done before, making you gasp slightly out of breath. With his free hand he continued to spank you while the other took over the inside of your pussy and your pleasure, with you whimpering, his fingers filling you so well and the sudden rough ache of your skin bringing you so close to your orgasm but you struggled with holding it back.

“You like this, huh?” your boyfriend said in a cocky tone.

Felix rammed into you, stroking the rest of your vulva with his thumb, hitting you animatedly until he made your skin burn, stroking it afterwards as if that would remedy the throbbing pain in your ass, but you did this to yourself. You whimpered, so needy to him:

“Felix, plee-ase.”

You wanted to cum. Your body trembled, your walls clenched his fingers tighter, but the sudden reaction of your body got Felix to come up with an idea... thinking how incredibly fun and entertaining it was to play with your pussy, he didn’t think you could be that sensitive. And he also didn’t think he was capable of holding back his orgasm either, with his cock drowning in his pants, your body pressing against it, with every muscle in it aching and throbbing, but it was somehow so pleasurable.

Felix withdrew his fingers from you, making you gasp and feel as if you were suddenly not whole and something had been snatched from you, you were about to squirt with intensity.

“Look at me” he commanded.

You turned your face and part of your torso, resting your arms on your bed. Felix noticed your eyes glistening from small tears and your face completely flustered, he had never seen you like this and just by fucking you with his fingers. He smiled.

“Do you own... something else to have fun with? Where’s your vibrator, angel?”

“What?” you replied in pure confusion, you had gotten too carried away with your near orgasm, that you reacted when you read his face, “It’s in the third drawer, next to you...”

His smile widened and he quickly moved away from you, so he could lean over and reach into your cabinet, pulling out your vibrator from there, you closed your eyes, resigned that he would torture you some more. Felix repositioned your ass on his lap, turning on your device as if it were his favorite toy and let it hit your dripping entrance, getting you aroused again with each quick vibration in you.

“C'mon, enjoy it for me.”

His voice was thicker than usual, Felix watched you with a smile under his innocent freckled gaze, full of desire and enjoyed watching you suffer a little, so horny and restless, stirring you in his lap, causing friction on his erection, driving him more and more to the limit, until, in a sudden movement of yours, Felix did not resist, bit his lip hard and pressed the vibrator head more on your entrance unconsciously as he was ejaculating inside his underwear. For you, the vibrator was teasing you more, for a second you missed being in control and being able to fill yourself with your boyfriend’s cock, who was breathing heavily, trying to recover. You whimpered, revealing how much you were enjoying it with subtle gasps biting your lip, you were getting wetter, making a mess over your thighs and boyfriend’s legs and suddenly, the pounding stopped, Felix turned off the device, tossing it away and unexpectedly you felt his fingers in you again.

“Cum for me now, sweetie, do it please” he growled so blinded in the pleasurable atmosphere.

Felix penetrated you hard, his slender, slick fingers abusing your poor entrance and insides, you gripped your sheets tightly thinking how much you hold out your orgasm until finally releasing it, expelling every tension formed in your stomach, slowly relaxing every muscle. Felix was a fast learner and exceeded your expectations.

His smile widened as he felt your warm orgasm all the way to his hand, but he remembered that the cherry on top was still missing, about something your said that stayed with him, that you loved how he made love to you, but that you also fantasized with him fucking you hard.

“So, good baby, you did it so well, now laid down. I’m gonna fuck you, no more making sweet love, wasn’t that what you wanted in first place?”

Every word rumbled inside you, you weren’t tired at all, just slightly sore from your ass with the very small sensation of your entrance vibrating, but obediently you settled down just as he said, taking off your panties completely in the process. You remained slightly leaning back against the back of your bed and pillows, with your knees together however with your pussy exposed as you felt aroused and nervous. Felix quickly pulled down his pants and underwear as he approached you stroking his cock whose rigid member you noticed already covered in a slight white. He made you raise your gaze to him.

“I love you” he confessed.

Felix gave you a soft kiss on the lips, to spread your legs apart and enter inside you all at once, his entire length deep inside you, making you both gasp. You felt the fabric of his shirt brush against your naked body as he was so tight against you. He grabbed hold of your thighs and started to pound into you hard, thrusting into your body, ramming his pelvis wildly into you.

“Ohh, fuck, do you like it, baby? It feels so good” Felix gasped in exasperation.

“Mmhum… Fuck, yeah Felix, oh.”

You couldn’t speak well, finally, a hard fuck.

He enjoyed his member being squeezed by you while he opened his mouth slightly as he was so focused between the pleasure and the wild pace he was maintaining.

You whimpered, he was fucking you fast, hard and deep, his cock sliding into you in pace he knew how to keep perfectly, touching your sensitive spot, making your clit throb at the sudden shocks and rubs of his cock moving inside you. You watched the action of his penis against your entrance, seeing your boyfriend’s cock slightly bulge out of your core so shiny from the wetness inside you. You began to stop thinking clear, your mind became so filled with the sensation of your core being stuffed by Felix that you unconsciously hugged his back and sought his lips, kissing him awkwardly but passionately, Felix wouldn’t stop, he was panting steadily and each intense thrust made your sensitive vulva throb more and more, you were so close to your orgasm again and Felix recognized it instantly, your tender expression of ultimate pleasure and your walls suffocating his cock more.... squeezing it so well that it almost brought him to climax too.

“Are you gonna cum, dear? Please, do it” he rammed you harder, “...for me.”

You arched your back, every tense muscle dying to be released, until unleashed in a loud gasp, Felix continued a little longer, until his sensitive glans shot every drop of him into you. You both finished a little tired. Absolutely satisfied with each other. You knew perfectly well that Felix knew how to handle all.

｡⋆୨୧˚ ⋆｡°✩

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @houseapologist (I can’t tag u luv lol) @bubblebisk

[justanisabelakinnie]

That’s so great! Here are my headcanons! 

Isabela: Lesbian 

Dolores: Bisexual 

Mirabel: Bisexual 

Luisa: Lesbian 

Camilo: Bisexual 

Pepa/Felix: Trans/bisexual 

Julieta/Agustin: Double demi 

Alma: Bisexual 

Any Madrigal sexuality headcanons?

Absolutely!

You’ll probably have seen some from my previous headcanon posts, my fanfics and also throughout the quotes on my blog.

My headcanon sexualities for the Madrigals (anyone not included is straight):

Félix - bisexual

Bruno - homosexual demiromantic

Isabela - lesbian

Dolores - pansexual

Luisa - lesbian

Camilo - homosexual

Mirabel - aromantic asexual

[staybabblingbaby]

Best Friend Protocol #13 (Crush part)

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: You're Felix's childhood friend, and you and he have been planning a visit to see him for his birthday for what feels like years now. Unfortunately, SKZ is a very busy group, and the week-long vacation you'd planned for doesn't seem possible.Until Felix decides to ask his bandmates a favor...

Word Count: All images, so N/A. Unless someone wants to make these accessible but I don't really know how.

Notes: My finger slipped and drama happened so sorry Shout out to @thatgirlangelb for the idea abt not knowing you know Hyunjin's Ma. I enjpoyed making those memes Dividers by @saradika

Warnings: She/Her Reader.

Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks

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[bbokicidal]

Slashers - OT8 [SKZ]

Disclaimers : Just a small post I thought would be fun to make. Also - this is all just for GOOD FUN for the month of October and spooky season. These killers are nasty and awful and we all know that - I am in no way saying the Stray Kids members are represented by these slashers (who are fictional characters remember) and I do not mean to say 'they're exactly like these awful people.' because that's just dumb. Don't go thinking that now. C'mon. Common sense.

Warnings : None really, just horror movie slashers included

If you want a part two of the members as other horror movie characters (maybe finals girls/guys or more recent characters?) lmk!

Bangchan : Michael Myers [Halloween]

Honestly mostly just picked this because of his physique and the way I am so wildly attracted to both of them. But I also just think Chan's got that Lowkey scary dad stance down. Also the way he stands back to watch others. Yes, I know it's lovey dovey towards the group but imagine him as Michael just stalking the others?????? (Why's it kinda hot,,,)

He'd spent months planning his first attack. Hours standing, staring, figuring out the habits and movements of his younger friends until he had all of their mannerisms in his head - memorized like the veins in the back of his hand. He knew who was the weakest link. Who he shouldn't target. Who would be easy to mark off the list. Jisung just had back luck being the first name he put down on his notepad.

Chan as Michael Myers, my beloved.

Lee Know : Billy 'Ghostface' Loomis [Scream]

The actually scary one who's full of determination and purpose. The one who actually gets the job done. The one who does it and does it well. Also, wildly sexy. So. I think Minho fits Billy Loomis best because he can be cunning, secretive, but also charming and wild at the same time. We love him.

Minho wasn't stupid - not like his accomplice. He let Jisung distract people - be the life of the party while he himself lured Felix out to the garage to get a beer or two. He dismissed himself, saying he forgot something in the house, before coming back only to find Felix frightened at first sight and scrambling to escape the outer part of the home. And he felt little remorse as he watched Felix try to squirm out through the doggy door - his thumb clicking the switch to make the garage door slowly raise.

Minho as Billy Loomis, hehe.

Changbin : Pyramid Head [Silent Hill]

Not a 'classic slasher' because he's not the main villain of the story but EASILY the best pic for Changbin because WHEWIE those arms. Also?? Changbin dragging around a giant knife and just picking people up by their necks? Good GAWD. Pyramid Head Binnie (shirtless,, Binnie,,,,,) is a need for me.

He was just there - existing. Wandering. Dragging his knife around until the ground cracked and broke under the weight as he walked. He was just... there. Until someone appeared - a pretty boy with long brunette hair that fought for his life in this hellhole of a place. Someone for him to wander after. Someone for him to target.

Changbin as Pyramid Head <3

Hyunjin : Chucky [Chucky]

Honestly mainly just picked this one because 1) Hyunjin as a doll would be wild lol, and 2) Hyunjin who looks so cute and precious and like a normal man at first but ends up being a wild fucking mass murderer?? That would be,, actually so fitting because he's such a cutie at first and then gets on stage and it's like WHOHOAH--

Finding his soul trapped in the body of a doll was the last thing he wanted to happen after his death - but Hyunjin found that this doll was a lot more flexible than he expected. He could curl his fingers, move his eyes, talk even. It was just like his body before - only harder to break, and a lot... smaller.

Anyway, Hyunjin as Chucky. Also red hair Hyunjin supremacy, I said what I said.

Han : Stu "Ghostface" Macher [Scream]

The silly one that keeps messing up. The one who works hard but still somehow fumbles it. The one that needs help. The one who really got roped into it just because he's massively gay for his best friend.

After botching another murder and making a pact with his friend to frame the girl for their killings, Jisung dug the blade into his friend before Minho did the same. He clutched his stomach and fell to the counter, only moving to grip the phone as it rang just beside his head. He sobbed out another gasp that his parents would be so disappointed in him - another babble from Jisung that Minho didn't have time to deal with.

Jisung as Stu Macher, aka the gay icon of the scream series, everyone.

Felix : Tiffany Valentine [Chucky]

Definitely did not pick this bc of his hair. (oops) Anyway. Just there for the shits n giggles, does it for the person he loves and adores so dearly. Didn't even initially mean to be a part of it but got pulled into it somehow anyway lol. Also an absolute baddie.

How'd he get here? He wasn't too sure. What he did know was that he was glued to his best friend for the rest of his life now, trapped in the small but definitely not fragile bodies of dolls for eternity. He was happy to be there, if he was honest, just enjoying being everlasting with someone he adored. Even if he was put into the body of a ... woman? Well. Doll-Woman.

Felix as Tiffany Valentine. ~

Seungmin : Jason Voorhees [Friday The 13th]

Seungmin as a reoccurring character who experienced nothing but tragedy in his past and now comes back to his place of 'death' every year to haunt people who get so much as a fucking mile from him. LOOOOVE this idea. Love the image of Seungmin just hovering around a Summer Camp and lurking like a little creeper. Also Seungmin with a machete is too much for me, cannot. I gotta go.

Seungmin enjoyed lurking around the camp if he was honest. He found himself feeling joy in watching the camp-goers wander around so clueless as to the tragedy that occurred in the waters they swam in, playing and having too much for his liking. No - He didn't feel joy in watching them have fun. He felt joy in hearing their screams the following night when he made them aware of his presence; when he showed them the truth that lay in the grounds of that poor Summer Camp.

Seungmin as Jason Voorhees. ;))

I.N : Pennywise [IT]

Not a classic slasher yet again BUT one of the best in my personal opinion. (It's one of my fav horror movies so.) I think Jeongin fits Pennywise because of his teasing nature, the way he finds it funny when he irks his hyungs, etc. I also think he has a relatively short -- temper? Temper might not be the right word. Maybe patience is right. He's impatient and if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll snap. Also the idea of shapeshifter Jeongin?? Torturing people by showing up as their literal living nightmares? Yum yum yum.

Jeongin was hungry. Starved, even. Twenty seven years after falling into a slumber, he'd awoke under a quaint town that offered up so many delicious meal options - which included a very pretty man more muscular than the others - who, conveniently, was a bit of a scaredy cat.

Jeongin as Pennywise !!

-

Taglist : @dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground @thatonedarkskinnedsiren

[st-eve-barnes]

Pretty little liars (chapter 1)

(Felix Catton x fem Reader)

Summary: Felix Catton was the embodiment of everything you hated, yet you loved him like you never imagined one human being could love another. But as with all good things, you didn't know what you had until it was stolen from you.

This Chapter: Your first experiences with Saltburn and the infamous Felix Catton

Word count: +3500

Warning for the entire fic: 18+ for explicit content and language. Enemies to lovers vibes. Oral (fem & male receiving), p in v sex, fingering, ... Jealousy, voyeurism, secrets, toxic relationships, mentions of death. Oliver being his creepy little self.

ANGST/smut/fluff (do I ever write anything else? lol)

***

Saltburn has altered my brain chemistry and Felix won't leave my mind so I had to give him his own mini series. Tag list is open for those who want on it ;)

***

All these and older fics are also on AO3 If you want to support my writing you can Buy me a KoFi or feed me with a lovely comment ;)

***

You weren’t just in love with Felix Catton. It would be an insult to the depth of your feelings for him to call it that. You loved him like you never imagined one human being could love another.

Felix Catton was sunlight personified. He lit up a room like no one else could, drew people to his light without even trying.

You couldn’t see it at first, blinded by the riches and the money. But it wasn’t about that.

Felix was more. More than you bargained for, and far more than you deserved.

But as with all good things, you didn’t know what you had until it was taken from you.

He was staring at you but looking right through you, no life left in his teary eyes where he lay on the ground in the middle of the maze, golden wings spread out beneath him. He looked so pale, almost inhuman. Like an angel, fallen to the earth. 

It was dark and quiet in the maze, the statue looming over you like a bad omen.The music and happy chatter in the distance might as well have come from another planet. Behind these walls there was no music playing, no laughter, only grief.

Your hands were shaking, grabbing at his chest almost violently, your sadness turning into anger. Don’t you fucking leave me here alone in this place. You promised you wouldn’t leave me alone out here.

Elspeth’s desperate sobs kept filling your ears: “He’s not breathing, my baby’s not breathing, oh god he’s not breathing.”

You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole, swallow every single person here and the whole of Saltburn with it. 

What good was it without him? What good was any of it?

What good were you?

***

1 year earlier

The first time you set foot in Saltburn you had no idea where to look first. Everything was so beautiful, shiny, luxurious, authentic. Excessive.

You had heard all the stories about the infamous Catton family and their household but to walk through it, observe it all with your own two eyes, was a much different experience.

It felt like a lucid dream and in the midst of it all stood him.

Felix Catton. 

Beloved son and brother, life of the party, everybody’s best friend, infamous fuck boy.

He had a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other, chatting away to whoever gave him attention, male or female, it didn’t matter, they all hung on his every word.

You couldn’t stand him. Not even specifically him but people like him. Pretty rich kids. Life was so easy for him it just wasn’t fucking fair to the rest of you.

“Here,” your friend shoved a drink into your hand and gave you an encouraging smile,”It’s a party, Y/N, can you at least try to look like I’m not holding you at gun point here?”

“Sorry,” you sighed, taking a sip from your drink as you followed your friend through the endless garden of the estate.

It was hot, it had been like this for a couple of weeks now even though officially the summer was yet to start. The only relief was a soft evening breeze and the ice cold drink numbing your throat. You weren’t even supposed to be here, your friend had snuck you in, encouraging you to experience a true Saltburn party for yourself. You’d been curious as hell, so of course you’d said yes.

A decision you were already regretting.

You hated these people, it was all so shallow, and meaningless, and a million miles away from your world. But you didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the -unofficial- invite so you danced with your friend and drank, smiled and pretended to fit in. At least the alcohol made it easy for you to fake your way through the night.

You were losing yourself in the music when your friend leaned closer to you on the dance floor with a grin and a whisper into your ear,“He’s been staring at you for the last 10 minutes.”

“Who?”

“Felix. He’s so fucking hot, girl, you should go to him and go for it.”

You laughed while you continued dancing,”I think not! I may be drunk but I’m not that drunk, Bella.”

“Come on,” she tried to encourage you.

“No thanks, why would I even be interested in him? He’s just a rich asshole,” you pointed out, taking another sip from your drink while your eyes drifted off to Felix. He was standing with a group of people by the side of the dance floor and the maze and his eyes were already on you. You looked away again quickly, shaking your head with another chuckle while you finished your drink.

“See?!” your friend poked into your side with a grin,”You sure you’re not interested?”

“I’m not interested in spoiled little rich kids.”

“Girl, there is nothing about that man that is little,” your friend joked and then almost choked on her own laughter. You couldn’t help but join in.

“Shut up,” you pushed her back playfully.

“No but for real, Felix is a good egg, the best out of all of them,” she pointed out and you rolled your eyes in judgment.

“That isn't saying much, is it? They're all rich assholes.”

“Felix is nice though,” she insisted,”He’s always kind, and so welcoming, and always in a good mood.”

You snorted,”Please, if my family was this rich I’d always be in a good mood as well, fuck. That guy hasn’t had to struggle a day in his life.”

“That’s pretty presumptuous of you,” she pointed out.

“It’s written all over him, come on, he’s a walking cliche, Bella.”

You friend shrugged her shoulders,”Alright, whatever. It’s your loss, I hear he really knows how to please a girl.”

You couldn’t help but laugh again,“That guy? I highly doubt it. Everyone wants to fuck him anyway, he doesn’t even have to try and be good at it. Girls will lay at his feet either way. And guys.”

“I’m just saying, you could take the test and find out for yourself, what have you got to lose?” she teased.

“I think I’ll manage fine without having Felix Catton in my life, thanks. I’m gonna go get another refill.”

You left your friend on the dance floor but you quickly came to regret that decision.

You’d been fine on your feet while dancing but now as you were trying to move through the crowd you suddenly felt dizzy, as if someone had put something in your drink, or you were just a whole lot more drunk than you had initially thought. The ground seemed to be moving under your feet as you fought to keep your balance. Something you were failing horribly at and just as you were about to lose the fight entirely and fall down onto the grass two strong hands came to rest on your shoulders, holding you up.

“Whoa, hey, you alright there, love?”

You looked up to meet his eyes. God, he really was freakishly tall, you had never felt smaller in your life.

“Felix,” you breathed.

“Hi, there,” he smiled at you and opened his mouth to say something else but it never reached your ears as you were too busy vomiting out your guts all over his shirt and shoes.

***

“Here,” Felix handed you a glass of water with two pills in it. 

You were sitting on the edge of the counter in one of the guest bathrooms downstairs. It was a blur how you got here, you vaguely remembered Felix carrying you into the house and holding your hair back while you threw up into the fancy toilet.

You looked up at him, your vision still blurry. You noticed he had changed shirts and was barefoot now.

You hesitantly took the glass from his hands but didn’t drink it yet.

“It’s for your stomach, I’m not trying to drug you, promise.”

His voice was kinder than you'd imagined and you carefully took a sip and then another one until you could feel the liquor settle in your stomach. It wasn’t making you feel worse so you drank some more. 

“Thanks,” you whispered.

“I haven’t seen you at one of these parties before,” Felix stated.

“No, I…I’m new.”

He smiled. Felix Catton smiled at you and it was like looking directly into the sun.

You took another sip from the drink he handed you, avoiding his gaze, giving yourself a moment of respite. He really was breathtaking up close, even you had to admit that.

”I’m really sorry about your shirt,” you then sighed.

“That’s quite alright. You’re not the first girl to throw up on me.”

You laughed.”Okay, good to know I’m not special.”

Your words made him chuckle.”So do you have a name, new girl?”

“It’s Y/N,” you answered hesitantly.

Felix repeated your name attentively. Why did it sound so much better coming from his lips than from your own?

“You can crash here tonight if you want,” he suggested,”Plenty of guest rooms to choose from. Or one of our drivers can take you home.”

“One of your drivers?” you shook your head with a smile, his words bringing you back down to reality really fast,”Jesus, fuck, you and I come from such different worlds, it would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.”

“I can ditch you outside of the gates and make you walk home,” he teased,”But that would be cruel, wouldn’t it?”

You shook your head with a sneer and then sighed.

“Look, it’s whatever you prefer,” he added casually.

You finished the last of the drink and got up,”I think I’d just prefer to go home, by myself. Thanks for this, but I’m okay now.”

“Okay then,” Felix nodded, a small intrigued smile forming on his lips as he watched you leave the room.

“See you at the next one, new girl,” he yelled after you.

***

The second time you talked to Felix was two weeks later. You had been going with Bella to the Saltburn estate a couple more times since then. She had developed a little crush on Oliver, one of Felix’s new friends who seemed to hang around the house all the time. She had felt a little anxious going there on her own, so she begged you to accompany her and you did what any good friend would do.

It had nothing to do with Felix or Saltburn. Not back then anyway.

You had spent the entire afternoon lounging around the pool with a big group of people. Bella had taken the opportunity to get closer to Oliver who seemed charmed by her interest in him and happily engaged in conversation. You mostly stuck to yourself and soaked up the sun while you read your book. Felix hadn’t approached you once but that didn’t stop him from stealing glances at you every time he thought you weren’t looking.

When the sun was starting to go down you said your goodbye to Bella and Oliver and decided to head back home. You had called a cab to come pick you up by the gate, where Felix found you having a discussion with the taxi driver.

“I have the money I just don’t have it on me right now,” you pleaded but the asshole wasn’t budging.

“Money now or I’m not taking you anywhere, sweetheart,” he insisted.

“I can give you half now and the rest when I get home, come on, it’s not a problem. Do I look like I don’t have money?”

“You rich kids always think the rules don’t apply to you, don’t you? Pay up front, or you’re walking.”

You sighed annoyed, ready to plead your case some more when suddenly you heard someone calling out your name.

It was Felix.

You weren’t sure what surprised you the most, the big beaming smile with which he walked up to you as if you were close friends, or the fact that he remembered your name. You hadn’t spoken to him since your embarrassing display at that party weeks ago. He’d seemed happy to ignore you after that and you had done the same, feeling no interest in getting to know him further.

“You forgot this, love,” he smiled at you and wrapped a jacket over your shoulders, the sleeves were about four sizes too big for you and the whole thing almost came down to your knees. 

You were completely lost for words.

He leaned in a little closer to whisper in your ear,”I think you left your money in there as well.”

He tapped on the pocket with his finger and you could see a few 10 pound notes sticking out.

“Felix,” you sighed,”You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” he feigned innocence,”This is yours, now pay the good man before he ditches you and makes you walk home.”

“I…okay, fine,” you sighed, giving in and taking out the money needed to pay for your ride home.

“Perfect,” the taxi driver grinned,”Pleasure doing business with you.”

Felix stood with his hands in his pockets and a satisfied grin on his face while the man opened the door and waited for you to get in.

You sighed again and looked back into his big brown eyes.

“I’ll pay you back,” you whispered before getting into the car.

“That’s not necessary, new girl,” he called after you and gave you a big wave as the car drove away with you in it.

You hated that it made you smile.

****

You hated to admit that you were starting to enjoy the weekly parties at Saltburn, it had become your guilty pleasure weekend activity.

Bella and Oliver had grown closer together and you couldn’t deny you enjoyed his company as well, he seemed different from all the other rich kids and you had a strong feeling that he was just pretending to fit in, much like yourself. Neither of you spoke of it but when you looked into his eyes you knew, and you knew he knew as well. Neither of you belonged here.

Felix was mixing drinks behind the bar when you put the money you owed him on the counter.”Here.”

He gave you a smile and shook his head,”I told you that wasn’t necessary.”

“Yes, it is,” you insisted.

“Really it was nothing, it was barely 4O pounds.”

“And I’m sure in your world that’s considered nothing but in mine it’s….,” you swallowed the rest of your angry words before you would say things you’d end up regretting later.”Just take the damn money.”

He lifted his hands up in defense and laughed,”Alright, fine, I’ll take the money, thank you for paying me back, what the fuck?”

You sighed annoyed and walked away from him, leaving him shaking his head in confusion.

You went back to ignoring him for the rest of the night, or at least trying to. You couldn’t help but find yourself looking at him from time to time. He was always chatting to someone, always laughing and drinking and looking like he was having the time of his life. You wondered if at least part of that was an act, if it ever exhausted him to play the ever friendly host and life of every party. Nobody was happy all the time, weren’t they? Not even Felix Catton.

You looked away when he stared back at you, ignoring the emotions that started bubbling up in the pit of your stomach. You felt strangely drawn to him, and you hated yourself for allowing that feeling.

Bella was the one to pull you out of your thoughts and onto the dance floor and you went willingly, losing yourself in the music and the rhythm. When a few guys came to join you both you didn’t think much of it and you happily let them dance close to you. It wasn’t after some time that you noticed Bella wasn’t there anymore and there was one guy in particular who seemed to have some issues with personal space. His hands were traveling further up your hips and under your shirt while he started grinding up against you.

Your hands on his chest tried to push him back a little bit as you tried to dance away from him but his hold on your hips was too strong.

“Hey, come on, stop that,” you politely tried to create some distance between you both but the guy ignored all your attempts. When his hand tried to slip under the hem of your skirt to feel up your ass you were ready to throw punches at this jerk. Just before you could make your move someone grabbed your hand and slowly but firmly pulled you away from the guy. 

Felix.

Before you realized what was happening your back was pressed up against his large chest, his hands on your waist as he danced behind you, his face buried into your hair while he made eye contact with the guy in front of you.

“Sorry, mate, she’s one of mine, off limits,” he stated, as if that explained everything.

And apparently it did because the guy just smiled apologetically at Felix and stepped back immediately.

“Hey,” Felix winked at the guy,”India over there is looking like she could use some company, shoot your shot, man.” 

The jerk gave him a big smile and two thumbs up.

You wanted to punch both of them. 

You were no longer in need of rescuing but Felix still kept dancing with you. His hands were gentle on your hips, keeping you close but not too close, giving you the freedom to step back should you choose to.

But you didn’t make that choice. 

Your body betrayed you by leaning into him, allowing him to nuzzle your hair and your neck, putting goosebumps all over your arms and Felix smiled when he noticed. When his lips brushed your ear your brain finally kicked back into gear and you broke out of his embrace, surprising him.

“Some nice mates you have there,” you pointed out as you turned to look at him,” And one of yours? Do you have like a spare set of everything? Even girls?”

Felix just shook his head with a bashful smile.

“Of course you do,” you then sighed,”Why am I even surprised? God, you are so…”

“What?” he asked, a playful grin on his face,”What am I?”

“Annoying,” you blurted out,”Privileged, full of yourself, ignorant.”

Beautiful, enchanting, mesmerizing.

“Alright, don’t hold back on me now,” he laughed, seemingly amused by your anger and that only angered you further.

You bit your tongue and then shook your head,”You know what, forget it, I don’t even know why I bother.”

You wanted to turn on your heel but Felix reached for your hand, lacing his long fingers with your much smaller ones and keeping you close to him.

“Why do you bother?” he then asked, intrigued, eyes locking with yours,”Why do you keep coming back here when you clearly hate everything about this place?”

“Because my friend…”

“No, no, no, your friend isn’t even here tonight, that’s an excuse. Why are you here?”

Your mouth opened but the words weren’t coming out. Because you would rather die than admit why you were really here.

“I like big parties where I don’t have to pay for anything,” you lied, avoiding his gaze. Felix just laughed and God, you wanted to wipe that beautiful smile off his gorgeous face so badly.

Then he leaned down to be able to stare deep down into your eyes, his voice nothing but a whisper,”You’re a pretty little liar, new girl.”

His deep voice and intense stare were enough to shut you up entirely and you had to look away from him to find your voice again.

“I had him, I didn’t need you,” you then blurted out.

“Didn’t look like it to me,” he shrugged.

“I would have handled it,” you insisted.

“The right thing to say is thank you, Felix, that was pretty nice of you,” he teased, making your blood boil.

“You…ugh…,” you angrily turned your back on him and stormed off the dance floor.

“You’re welcome,” he yelled after you with a big smile on his face,”See you at the next one, Y/N.”

“Asshole.”

You wanted to hate him, you really did, Felix Catton stood for everything you despised. But you could still feel the warmth of his hands on your hips, feel where his breath had grazed your neck until your skin erupted in goosebumps, feel how deeply his eyes bored a way straight into your soul.

You hated how you didn’t hate him at all and above all else you hated how he reduced you to just another Felix groupie. That wasn’t you.

He had no idea who you were. 

And he could never find out. 

[skzhua]

a price i'm willing to pay | part 14 - the sparklers.

MASTERLIST

pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader

genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.

warnings: swearing, alcohol.

summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.

"Wonhee will be there!" you exclaimed as you tossed your phone away.

Both Hyunjin and Minho looked at you curiously. "Who?" Hyunjin asked.

Minho was quick to hit his arm, causing the man to wince at the touch. "You've met her before, don't act like you don't know who she is."

"I would but I genuinely have no idea."

"Y/N's sister," Chan informed as he joined the three of you with a clipboard in hands. "We saw her at the bar last time we went."

"Right," Hyunjin hummed with a frown.

"Alright," Chan continued. "Hyunjin, we still have the pictures with Lix to take and then your part will be over. Jisung?"

The assistant hurried to his boss and smiled. "Here."

"Could you and Changbin change the background?"

Your best friend let out a grunt. "Again?"

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?" you said with a glare and it was plenty to shut him off and make him join Jisung at the task.

Things were advancing well with the campaign. You had much more positive feedback, even if many still believed you had tried to poison your clientele. Nonetheless, people were loving seeing you and Chan interact in such ways that they would have never thought of seeing ever. Still, he remained very unpleasant towards you, but you weren't any better so it was a fair game.

"Hair and makeup done!" Felix cheered as he walked in the studio, his GoPro pointed towards himself. "Y/N has chosen beautiful colours as you can see," he showed his eye makeup. "And, of course, Chan's new cream was used for my skin."

"Do you ever stop filming?" Jisung rolled his eyes.

"And we have our beloved Jisung who seem to be pretty grumpy this afternoon."

They continued to bicker in the background which made you chuckle as you moved on with sorting products out. You peeked at your checklist to make sure you had everything you needed and began to check the items. It wasn't long after that Chan leaned next to you on the table. With his rolled up sleeves of his black buttoned shirt, he perked an eyebrow as he watched you intensely. You did your best to ignore him but the man was not budging.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" you said between your teeth.

"Busy doing something totally unnecessary. Might I say, Y/N, I am disappointed," he said in a cheeky way.

"I prefer double-checking and being organized, is that so wrong?"

He shrugged. "I just think you're wasting time. Besides, the guys have the makeup on already. What's the point in checking?"

"In case we forgot, we can still put it– Why am I even bothering to explain this to you?" you groaned, dropping the list on the table and walking off.

This might have been the tenth encounter of this sort that you'd had with him today and knowing he was still going to be around until late at night, this was not encouraging in any way. Perhaps backing out and staying at home was a better option.

But having Wonhee as a sister meant she had to force you to come along, especially since you were the one to invite her technically. After you had went back home, washed up and changed, you were walking to the club with your arms linked. Jeongin was the one to change the destination, arguing that it would be more fun than a regular restaurant with alcohol on the side.

"So how many are we going to be exactly?" Wonhee questioned you as you were getting closer to your destination.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you counted in your mind. "Let's see... Well, Bin and Minho obviously so them plus us is four. Jeongin, that makes us five. Chan and his staff, so that's now eight... And with Hyunjin and Felix, that makes us ten," you smiled.

Your sister, however, looked at you doubtfully. "Chan's staff... Does it mean..?"

You chuckled. "Yes, Seungmin will be there."

She stopped on her tracks right away. "You didn't think of telling me that?"

"When I said everyone would be there, I thought it obviously implied Seungmin."

"Y/N, I can't meet him like this!" she shouted while looking down at her outfit.

"You look fine," you rolled your eyes.

Forcefully, you dragged her all the way to the club as she babbled about how ugly she looked — though she was very much adequately dressed for the occasion. As you walked in, it didn't take long for you to spot the tall Hyunjin who was chatting with the one you dreaded to see once again. Chan had, for once, decided to let go of his usual dark attires and wore a tight white shirt with oversized pants. His hair was slicked back and he adorned his ears with silver jewellery. You couldn't deny he looked fine as hell, especially with the lighting that emphasized the veins on his arms. The way he was leaning on the table and taking a few sips of his drink was insanely attractive.

"You're staring," Wonhee commented and you glared at her.

"I spotted Hyunjin, that's all."

She definitely did not believe you and was about to make another remark until her eyes fell upon Seungmin. Instantly, she froze on the spot with a gulp.

"Who's staring now?" you laughed and it was her turn to glare.

"And the Ko sisters have arrived!" Jeongin exclaimed as he came to join you along with Minho, engulfing you two into his embrace. "I managed to reserve a table for everyone."

He led you to where you had previously stared at and didn't let you say a thing before sitting you down next to Chan. You were about to get up and yell at your friend but a hand grabbed your wrist to pull you back down. Again, you were seated and Chan's grasp moved from your wrist to your shoulder.

"What-"

He put a finger on your mouth, shushing you. "There are people around, we're a couple right now."

As you scanned the club, you saw how some people had stopped to greet Hyunjin and Jeongin while others took pictures. Right, you were surrounded with well-known models. You hesitantly snuggled into his embrace before he placed a small peck on the top of your head. It took everything in you to not puke right there and then.

"Get a room," Felix joked as he sat on your other side. "Since when do you kiss her?"

Chan sighed. "It wasn't a kiss. Don't you have more important things to do instead of judging me?"

"I do, you're right. So? Who's paying tonight? I need to get myself something to drink."

Seungmin joined in and took his credit card out. "I don't mind paying this time."

This caused Wonhee's eyes to glow and she rushed to the man. "Seungminnie, could I get something too?"

"Of course," he said with a smirk.

You noticed Minho — who had watched the interaction with much displeasure — rolling his eyes with one hand in his pocket and the other holding his newly bought cocktail. Poor guy.

"Could you please order my drink as well, Felix?" you asked the man as he snatched Seungmin's card out of his hand.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

To this, Chan's eyes darkened at his friend. Before you could give your answer, he spoke for you. "I'll pay for her drink, you may go."

Felix gulped, getting slightly scared of his friend, but nodded before walking to the bar. You scoffed at your fake-lover and removed his arm that laid on your shoulder.

"You really are a pain in the ass," you grunted.

"I should be the one paying for you, don't you think?"

"I can pay for myself."

He scoffed. "You say that now but asked for Felix to get you something with Seungmin's card. You had no issue with that."

"It's Seungmin, not you."

With that, you stood up and headed towards where Minho was as he was the furthest away from the man you despised so much. As he saw you approaching with fuming ears, his eyes widened.

"Woah, don't be mad at me, I did nothing," he hurried to say with his hands up.

"Where's Changbin?"

"No idea, he disappeared when we arrived."

You groaned out of frustration. "Great, it's always when I need him that he disappears."

Minho faked being hurt. "Am I not a good enough? You really prefer Changbin over me?" he cried.

You deadpanned at him. "Shut up, I'm pissed and he's the only one who can calm down. Besides, you're pissed as well, you wouldn't be much help."

"I'm not pissed," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, right. Don't tell me seeing my sister all over Seungmin doesn't fill you with anger."

That shut him up real quick and he pouted while sipping on his alcohol. From afar, the two of you looked miserable. You watched people on the dancefloor with a bored stare. It took only a few minutes for Chan to find you again and you couldn’t help but groan again.

“I’m going to find Changbin.”

Minho nodded at your statement as to say “good luck” and you took off. It was hard to walk through the sweaty crowd but, eventually found your best friend discussing with a woman who had definitely drank more than she could handle. He was quick to meet eyes with you and abandon the lady upon seeing how displeased you looked.

“What did I miss?” he asked while you stole his beer, drinking it in one go. “Woah, take it easy!”

“I won’t when this bastard is up in my ass.”

He sighed. “You can’t be saying this here.”

“Why? Because we are in public? Weren’t you the first one to disagree with this?”

“I was but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about how a small thing can ruin you again.”

You scoffed. “I’m only speaking the truth. Now, where can I get a shot?”

Changbin didn’t want to comply to your demands as he knew you would get yourself so drunk to the point you wouldn’t be able to stand. At the same time, you were so stubborn that it was impossible to get in your way sometimes. Felling guilty already, he brought you to the nearest bar and ordered four shots for the two of you. You chugged them not even a second after getting a hold of them. Wincing at the strong liquor, you still ordered one more, and one more after.

“How many has she had?” Jeongin asked in a concerned voice, watching you dance clumsily with Changbin.

“Who?” Chan said as he hadn’t really been observing what was going on.

“Your girlfriend,” Wonhee laughed as she pulled her phone out to capture the moment in a video. “Oh, she’s so going to hate me for this.”

Chan’s head shot up from his nearly empty glass to try and find you. When he did, his eyes widened at the sight. With your rosy cheeks, you were smiling admirably to your best friend who was trying his best to keep you up on your feet. He was glad you were not alone but the way you were holding to one another didn’t look as if you were only friends. It bothered him. Only because of your arrangement, of course. Before he was thinking, his body got up from his seat and he walked towards you. Without saying a thing, he separated you from Changbin and took over with holding you. You were probably too drunk to even process the change of dance partner, but Changbin only removed himself silently. He wouldn’t bother with protesting anyway; Chan’s eyes were enough to make him want to pee himself right there and then.

“How many did you drink?” he said into your ear, and you shivered.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you had too much.”

You pouted at him. “It’s your fault.”

“Mine? You were the one storming off.”

“Because you were annoying,” you cried, which made him sigh.

He dragged you all the way back to the table where the others were drinking reasonably. He sat you next to your sister, but she wasn’t much of a help. If anything, she was only laughing at your physical state and taking pictures. Sighing again, he took it upon himself to get you water to sober up. You already seemed to be a little better.

“They’re selling cakes with sparklers if it’s your birthday!” Felix said enthusiastically while pointing at the corner of the club. “We should get some.”

At this, you pushed the glass of water away from you and clapped. “Oh, for sure!”

Chan mentally cursed at himself before glaring at Felix. “Do you really want to fake a birthday only to get some cheap sparklers?”

You slapped his chest and his eyes widened from the contact. “They’re pretty.”

“So am I and you have me for free.”

Felix and Seungmin held back a laugh while you simply shrugged. “I’m getting some whether you like it or not.”

Before he could stop you, you were off with Felix, Seungmin and Wonhee to get sparklers. Who the fuck were selling these things in a club anyway? It was bound to be a disaster. He wondered if he should at least follow to keep an eye on you but the decision was quickly made when he saw you stumble on your feet, almost falling.

You felt a pair of arms holding you and you frowned. "Why do you have to act like I can't do things on my own?" you whined.

"Y/N, you almost fell face first."

Grumbling disapprovals, you still grabbed onto him for safety until you were at the cake counter. Felix was the one to discuss with the girl in charge of the cakes and they argued a bit as she noticed it was none of you's birthday. As they keot on bickering, Chan rolled his eyes as he knew he had to step in.

"Excuse me?" he cleared his throat grabbing the woman's attention.

The moment she saw he had just spoken, her posture straightened. "Mr. Bang," she almost whispered. "What an honour to have you here!"

"I understand my friends do not fit into your criterias for the cakes but I swear they only really want to play with the sparklers."

"I'm sorry, sir, but sparklers in a club-"

"I'll take them outside for when we lit them up, I promise."

By magic, this did the trick and the woman gave you about thirty of them. Seungmin went to get the others and you all went outside to lit them up. You, Felix and Jeongin were the most excited about them while Chan and Changbin were the most worried. Nonetheless, you took Minho's lighter from him as soon as he took it out of his pocket and hurried yourself to lit your sparklers up.

You admired them for what seemed to be an eternity until you ran out of them. Hyunjin declared this was enough for the night as he still had work to do the following day. The rest ended up agreeing and you all walked home.

"I'll take her," Chan said to Changbin who was not willing to let you go.

"I'm the assigned person to take her home."

"It'll be weird if a man other than her lover does it."

Changbin, for once, didn't budge. "Listen, Bang. I get you two have this thing for publicity but she is in a vulnerable state right now. While I do get your point, you're not the one who has known her for eight years and been there when she needed someone the most. Don't think because you are supposedly her boyfriend that you get to take this from us."

And he left with you.

This might have come from a deeper place than simply getting you home but Changbin had had enough. He couldn't risk you getting hurt by this man. Especially not when he had noticed how you were warming up to him.

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Copyright © 2024 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[bad268]

Merda (Joao Felix X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/FC Barcelona

Requested: Yeah (ILY ZEP)

Warnings: Google translate Portuguese, mentions of being called puta

POV: Second Person (You/your but fem accents)

W.C. 1004

Summary: The reader wants to learn Portuguese.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

“I feel left out,” You said one day when Joao came back from practice. Immediately, 101 thoughts ran through his head about what you could be left out of. You were pretty close with his friends, you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted, you had the job of your dreams, and you were still able to travel with him whenever you wanted. He always made sure to make you feel included in anything he did, so he had no clue what you could be left out of. 

“Am I missing something here?” He questioned as he set his bag down by the door and walked over to where you sat at the kitchen island cautiously. He gently leaned down to see what you were looking at on your computer, and it was Google Translate. “What is this?”

“You and your friends always talk in a language I don’t speak!” You exclaimed as you flung your hands up to rest against the sides of your face while you looked over at Joao. “I feel left out of your conversations because there’s a language barrier. I just want to know what you’re all saying. I want to be part of the conversation.”

“I could always not speak Portuguese around you,” Joao chuckled in disbelief of the reason as he draped an arm around your shoulders. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“But it is!” You almost shouted as you dropped your hands and snapped your head to look at him. “That’s your native language, and I’d never ask you to stop speaking it around me, especially not when most of your friends speak Portuguese or something similar. I don’t, but I want to!”

“Google Translate won't help you,” He chuckled to himself, finding the situation amusing. “I could always teach you.”

“But that would require me asking for help,” You said simply as you eyed him, “And you know that’s something I struggle with. But if you wanted to offer,” You eyed him again, gesturing to the screen, “I wouldn’t say no.”

“Are you busy with Google Translate now or can I take you on a date?” He asked easily as he gestured to the screen.

“Like now? Tonight? Did you not just hear me?” You rushed out as you looked between him and the screen again. “I’m having an existential crisis right now. Can’t you tell?”

“I can see,” Joao replied, moving to close the laptop. “C’mon, go get ready.”

~

The following week you were able to sit down and actually start learning with Joao. It was very laid back for the most part.

“What do you want to learn to say?” Joao started the day by saying. It was a rare day off for both of you, and you were keen to spend the day cuddling away. You were resting against his chest as you just woke, and he decided now was the best time to talk about learning his native language.

“Can we start with cute things? I want nicknames to call you,” You said in a quiet tone as you pulled back a little to look at him. “You always call me different things, so it would be nice to know what they mean. Like amour, querida, amada, meu tudo, and fufinha.”

“Love, darling, beloved, my everything and cutie,” He listed off quickly. “You could call me those as well. Just change the end from a to o. Portuguese is a romance language, and the people who made the language decided to gender every word. It’s complicated, but all you need to know right now is that when you talk about a guy or multiple people, the end is an o. If you're talking about a female or a group of all women, it ends with an a.”

“So I can call you amouro, querido, amado, meu tudo and fofinho?” You asked a little confused.

“Not amouro, just amour,” He chuckled lightly as he left a light kiss on your forehead. “You can also do some funnier names like idiota, meaning idiot, cornel, which sounds bad but means sweetheart, or lindo.”

“What does lindo mean?” You asked skeptically. There’s no way he would have conveniently left that one out.

“Handsome,” Joao whispered into your hair as he moved to place butterfly kisses around your face.

“So, if I started calling you “lindo”, would you answer?” You teased as you moved your head around to try and get him to stop the flutter of kisses. “Meu lindo namorado? Did I do it right?”

“Wait, did you just call me your handsome boyfriend?” He gasped as you let out a laugh as you nodded. “But I didn’t teach you that!”

“Maybe, maybe not,” You shrugged lightheartedly as you turned to get up from the bed. You start walking to your closet to pick out your outfit of the day and head for the ensuite. “Now, come on, minha vida. Last I checked, we had plans with seus companheiros de time. I think Pedri, Fermin, and Ferran will throw a fit if we’re late for lunch.”

“Where did you learn that? My life, your teammates?” Joao got up in shock as he followed you to the bathroom, practically caging you against the sink. “When did you learn all of that? I’m proud of you, but I want to know when you learned that.”

“Let’s just say I listen,” You teased as you pulled his face down to leave a kiss firmly on his lips. You pulled back with a teasing smirk on your lips when he tried to chase your mouth. Not so fast, Mr.” You put a finger to his lips to gently push him back. “Does your mother know you call me “puta”?

“Merda,” Joao said under his breath as he looked to the side. He knew this was teasing but that didn’t stop him from playing into your antics.

“Fuck me is right,” You teased back. “I don’t know everything but let’s just say I have an idea now.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[onehoplessromantic]

MASTERLIST

Jeon Jungkook | Min Yoongi | Lee Minho | Lee Felix | Kim Mingyu | Bang Chan | Kim Namjoon | Jung Hoseok | Choi Seungcheol

-constantly being updated- <- (that’s a lie)

updated 11/1/2024 [link check]

!!authors!! if u want ur work removed plz dm me:)

Helloooo! its been a while hasn’t it? School is dying down so I finally had a chance to update this master list! I have updated the counts and info on fics that were already there and added a bunch more (new idols get hype). another fun new thing is that im going to open my taglist, so whenever i update a new chapter or add a new fic or whatever, whoever wants to will get a notification. all you have to do is just add a note to the post that says “taglist” and ill add u, im trusting that youre over 16. anyways! enjoy the new library of fics!!!

peace 🫶🏻

PSA: if you want to be kept up to date with the happenings of this list you can sign up for my tag list here so you will be notified when i add fics or chapters and you can choose to keep up with bigger announcements as well

fluff-> 🤍 | smut -> 🍋 | angst -> 🌧️ | major tw -> ‼️

Jeon Jungkook

♡ I Want You to Stay | @ahundredtimesover

series | wc: 261.3k | 🌧️🤍‼️

boss!jungkook x assistant!reader

PLEASE READ WARNINGS

idiot strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers if you squint, k-drama feels, angst, drama, fluff, smut, sexual themes, power dynamics, anxiety, depictions of assault and aggression [chapter 8] (specific warnings on post)

♡ strong enough | @hyukaslvr

series *ongoing* | current wc: 32k | 🌧️

idol!jungkook x idol!reader

idiot exes to lovers, slow burn, kdrama feels (kind of like our beloved summer minus the salt and water if yk loll), angst, drama, fluff, smut

♡ guilty pleasures | @kookslastbutton

series *ongoing* | current wc: 28.4k | 🌧️🍋

ceo!jungkook x reader (?) idol!tae x reader

!!!okay so the fate of the story has not yet been decided, you’ll get it once you read!!! (not poly!!)

angst, smut, fluff, loverstoexesto (?), coworkersto (?), unrequited love, smut, sexism, morally grey-ness, swearing, alcohol consumption, sexism in media and business, toxic relationships, abandonment issues, explicit sexual content

♡ things you don’t know | @btsgotjams27

oneshot | wc: 4.3k | 🌧️🤍

jungkook x f!reader

angst, ex best friends au, language, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up

“i thought i’d never see you again”

♡ the farmhouse | @solecize

series | wc: 52.3k | 🌧️🤍

jungkook x reader

estranged friends to lovers, small town au, childhood best friends, slice of life, cowboy-ish jungkook, grief, mentions of death, death, fear, drinking and substance use, mutually pining, explicit language, jk as a parental figure (you’ll see), angst, fluff, growing up

♡ Chasing Cars | @oddinary4bts

series *ongoing* | current wc: 155.2k | 🌧️🍋

brothers best friend!jungkook x younger sister!reader

18+ mdni!, forbidden love? au, college!au, slice of life, smut, angst, fluff

♡ The Boy with Galaxies in His Eyes | @oddinary4bts

oneshot | wc: 52.9k | 🌧️🍋

idol!jungkook x tattoo-artist!reader

fwb to lovers, idol!au, angst (a lot), smut (a whole lot too), fluff, oc’s ex-boyfriend died and it takes an important place in the story, swearing, fuckboy Jungkook, fuckgirl oc, a whole bunch of red flags, miscommunication (they learn how to communicate don’t worry), exes that can’t stay out of your life, alcohol, they be a little toxic but they get better, explicit content: fingering, pussy slapping, squirting, oral sex (male and female receiving), mouth fucking, dirty talking, jungkook has a slight begging kink and an exhibitionism kink (not that present in the fic), dom!jk, switch!reader, car sex, sex in a tent, hair pulling (I think), tits/nipple play, unprotected sex, a little bit of ass slapping, mentions of choking

♡ For the Birds | @yoonieper

series *ongoing* | current wc: 65.9k | 🌧️🤍🍋‼️

jungkook x reader

slow burn, lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation! please read with caution!!

♡ how long will we fall | @jiminrings

oneshot | wc: 14k | 🌧️

jungkook x reader

soulmate au, painful f2l, unrequited love, a lot of angst, more fluff n wholesome moments, emotional constipation, yearning, jealousy, swearing, redemption arc, ngl jk kinda toxic

♡ touchin’ | @whatifyoulivelikethat

oneshot | wc: idk loll | 🍋🍋🍋

jungkook x reader

rated M (18+) for language, lovers that call themselves friends-with-benefits because jk is a fool, both parties are freaking annoying tbh, smut (fem reader, double lip piercing jk, heavy petting, standing doggy with clothes on, lots of neck making out, light nipple play, lowkey forearm kink), fluff, non-idol!au - jk is wearing the outfit from his 2023.06.29 weverse live

i dont usually recommend smut but this was just too good not to

♡ first class | @girlygguk

oneshot | wc: 25k+ | 🍋🤍🌧️

rich student!jk x (f)rich student!reader

childhood best friends, nepo baby!reader & jk, kth younger sister!reader, heavy pining, language, emotionally constipated characters, miscommunication, toxic/unhealthy friendships, fwb relationship, fighting, blood, alchohol consumption, smut (see fic for full warnings there was way too many to write here)

Min Yoongi

♡ Countermelody | @bonvoyagenoona

series | wc: ~100k | 🍋🌧️🤍

yoongi x reader

small town enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, smut, humor, producers!yoongi, hobi, namjoon, songwriters!yoongi, hobi, namjoon, musician!reader

♡ Oh! Darling | @yoongiofmine

series | wc: 108k | 🤍🍋🌧️

professor!yoongi x student!reader

fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, university au, mild age gap (emphasis on mild, yn in grad school and yoongi in his early 30s), forbidden romance

♡ Kitsungi | @moni-logues

series | wc: 105k | 🤍🍋🌧️‼️

yoongi x reader

strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non idol!au, angst, smut, eventual fluff ‼️alchohol consumption, yoongi and reader are both depressed, depressive episodes, attempted suicide, toxic relationships (readers ex), jokes about death, death, vomit, self harm, self deprecation, language (specific warnings posted for each chapter)

NOTE: please read the warnings carefully, there is a lot of heavy topics in this read

♡ Grey Area | @blushoseoks

series *ongoing* | current wc: 98,832 | 🌧️🍋

min yoongi x reader

heavy angst, language, alcohol consumption, university au, soulmate au, eventual smut, weed consumption, slow burn, death

♡ Illicit Favors | @yoongiofmine

oneshot | wc: 29k | 🍋🍋🍋

producer!yoongi x author!reader

smut with plot, friends to lovers, smut, more smut, even MORE smut, mutual pining, virgin reader, teaching sex au, this oneshot is amazing plz read it

♡ back-burner | @yoonpobs

series | wc: 95k | 🌧️🍋‼️

yoongi x f!reader

sisters best friend!au, best friend to lovers!au, sorta frenimies?to lovers!au, angst, *slow burn*, smut, fluff, one sided pining (?), longing, sibling jealousy, insecurities, family trauma, explicit language, eventual smut, eventual fluff, MAJOR ANGST, sexual harassment, mentions of poor mental health, alcohol as a coping mechanism, mentions of poor health, neglecting ones health [specific warnings in chapters]

guys this is another decently heavy one with a lot of sensitive topics so make the decision that is best for you while reading this

Kim Mingyu

♡ Today was (not) a fairytale | @babyleostuff

oneshot | wc: 1.6k | 🌧️🤍

idol!mingyu x fem!reader

established relationship, mingyu forgets your anniversary…

♡ Snowbound | @papermatisse

series *ongoing* | current wc: 17.6k | 🌧️🌧️🌧️

kim mingyu x f!reader

death mentioned/near death experiences, depression, unresolved mourning, cursing, emotional neglect, slight age gap (mingyu is slightly aged up), reader implied to be smaller than mingyu, stranger danger (?), extreme weather (?)

♡ How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread) | @gyuswhore

oneshot | wc: 12.4k | 🌧️🤍

idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

one sided pining, slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, reader has issues opening up

♡ Hits Different (…’cause it’s you) | @gyuswhore

2-part series | wc: 40k | 🌧️🤍🍋

kim mingyu x reader

based off ‘hits different’ by taylor swift, brothers best friend!au, brother!seokmin, smut (part 2), friends(?) to lovers, university!au, slowburn, mingyus a bit of an airhead and an ass, reader has a hard time managing her feelings, lots of frustrated tears, one sided pining, user toruro x minghao make an appearance, swearing, theres another woman (gasp…..but shes cool so), nayeon is a darling, seungchol is kind of annoying but we love him, smut tags in part 2

♡ sugar and you | @97-liners

oneshot | wc: 4.5k | 🤍

mingyu x reader

in which mingyu is an idealistic pastry chef, and you’re a cynical wedding planner who doesn’t believe in love.

fluff, just really sweet (hah) fluff, one-sided enemies to lovers

♡ back to december | @toruro

oneshot | wc: 4.3k | 🍋🤍🌧️

mingyu x reader

miscommunication, unrequited love (not fr tho), big dick mingyu, sex in a car, riding, fingering, pet names, creampie

guys that was a lot of smit warnings but i promise its not a smut fic just read plz

Lee Minho

♡ Invisible Thread | @astraystayyh

series | wc: 37k | 🤍🌧️

minho x reader

university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies cuz they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst, poor relationships with parents, insecurities, she/her reader, mention of alcohol

♡ Lost in Translation | @moonjxsung

one-shot | wc: 26.5k | 🤍🌧️🍋

minho x reader

university au, babysitter!reader, older brother!minho, smut, angst, fluff, mention of pregnancy, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), pet names, (see other warnings)

Lee Felix

♡ forgive me for what i haven’t done | @rachalixie

one-shot | wc: 17.5k | 🤍🌧️

prince!felix x princess!reader

kingdom au, angst, betrayal, strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort, she/her reader, emotional manipulation and physical violence from readers father, mentions of violence

Bang Chan

♡ Dispatch | @baby-yongbok

oneshot | wc: 1.3k | 🌧️‼️

husband! 911 operator!bang chan x afab!reader

themes of home invasion, mentions of guns, please read responsibly!!!

Chan has heard a lot of calls being a 911 operator but this is never one he wanted to experience.

Kim Namjoon

♡ My Feet to Follow, and My Heart to Hold | @daechwitatamic

series | wc: 76.3k | 🌧️🍋

KNJ x f!reader, unrequited KTH x reader

college!au, roomie!au, angst, s2l, slow burn, eventual smut, pov changes, convos revolving around the past loss of immediate family members, language, drinking, angst, a LOT of poetry, eventual smut - sections will have individual warnings

Jung Hoseok

♡ Flower | @readyplayerhobi

series | wc: 177k | 🤍🌧️🍋‼️

hoseok x reader

depression, anxiety, self-loathing, lack of self-esteem, oral sex (receiving and giving) penetrative sex, fingering, kink exploration, anal, panic attack, discussion of car accidents, mentions of character death, body issues, sex toys, stress, drinking [smut isnt till later in the series btw]

Choi Seungcheol

♡ Always Only You | @honeyhotteoks

oneshot | wc: 14.2k | 🌧️🍋

s.coups x reader

non idol!seungcheol x fem!reader, older brother mingyu, seungcheol is mingyus bff, childhood friends to lovers, brothers best friend, reader is called a sl*t in a mean way by her shitty date, v protective cheol, reckless driving, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), reader is curvy and descriptors like full, thick, etc are used, makeouts, grinding, cheol is obsessed with pussy, oral sex (f receiving), hand stuff, smut

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ⓒ onehopelessromantic, November 2024

[sleep-drunk-kitten]

𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

pairing: enhypen x fem!reader, platonic!Sunoo, ft. Lee Felix and Han Jisung of Stray Kids and Choi Soobin of TXT as side characters

genre: crack, fluff, isekai!au, royalty!au

content warnings: the crown prince is a bit of a jerk, war and an absent father are mentioned in passing, other than that there's nothing I can really think of? but lmk if I missed anything!

word count: 3.9k

summary: upon meeting her betrothed and possible murderer for the first time... our protagonist finds herself sure of two things: 1) he's every bit the princely male lead of the novel she'd loved so much in her previous life and 2) he's actually a little insufferable.

notes: It's finally hereeeee!! I'm so sorry for making you all wait for this, but I'm slowly working my way out of that writing slump~ I'm not sure whether or not I like how this turned out, but I hope you guys can just overlook it and move on if it sucks 😭 (please, for my sake, do. I will literally cry if my anxiety's proven right rn-)

I will be making a taglist for this fic, so if you're interested in being added please either drop an ask or let me know in the comments

Everything after the cut IS proofread for once, but please feel free to let me know if any typos slipped through the cracks!

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“Nonono, the blue one was a million times better,” Sunoo said, pointedly ignoring the deathly glares of Felix, your head maid.

  “Maybe it would be if I were going out for an evening ball or something, but it's a bit much for seeing a guest over some tea,” you reply dismissively, inspecting the girl standing in the three large mirrors placed round the circular platform you’d been standing on for the past hour, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another as your maids brought dress after dress out from your closet and whisked you through trying them on one by one. 

  Sunoo rolled his eyes at the statement, marching towards your vanity and sifting through the jewelry scattered across it till he settled on a length of thin silk ribbons. “Babes, be real with me here, it's not just some tea party and you know it.”

  The three maids who'd been helping you into the layers of lace and silk that made up the soft buttercup yellow gown Felix had chosen stepped to the side to give Sunoo room on the platform behind you, having learned very early on that there was little to no point in trying to stop him. 

  Ribbon in hand, he began weaving the silky material through the hairstyle they'd arranged as neatly and prettily as possible, ignoring a pained noise from the one nearest him. “I mean, it's not every day your fiance comes all the way out to your family’s manor on the outskirts of the city to make sure the bride-to-be he doesn’t actually care about hasn't lost all her marbles.” 

  You didn’t understand how Sunoo managed to carry on chattering with their eyes boring holes into the back of his head, especially when their dirty looks were nothing compared to the expression on Felix’s face–his twitching left eye reminded you of a glitching video game character–but he did, carrying on as if it were just the two of you in the room.

  “Your Grace,” Felix’s voice was strained, “I really do wish you wouldn't say such things to her Highness.”

  “What? That her beloved fiance's come to see her?” Sunoo said, batting his eyes and pouting in mock innocence.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Felix snapped back, eyes darting between his face and the silk in his hands. 

  “You know she doesn’t really care, right? Why would she care about that cold-hearted stone-faced bas-”

  “Sunoo!” you gasped, cutting him off by stomping on one of his fluffy house slippers with the toe of the wildly uncomfortable heel that had been forced onto your foot. You swear you see the corner of Felix’s lip twitch at the strangled noise your best friend makes. 

  “Ow ?! That was uncalled for- what’s with the look? Is anything I’m saying wrong?”

  “No, but you still shouldn’t be talking that way about a member of the royal family,” you reply with irritation, “you not liking him doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s the fucking prince now does it?”

  In your peripheral, the three maids shift uncomfortably, and Felix doesn’t even try to hide a long-suffering sigh, making a mental note to inform your tutor that your etiquette lessons still weren’t sticking the way they should. 

  Sunoo sees this, of course–grinning evilly at you. “It would seem that it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a princess either, Your Highness, better wash out that potty mouth of yours before your dearly betrothed arrives.”

  You nearly grab a handful of your skirts to give yourself enough mobility to kick him, but Felix launches himself in your direction before you have the chance, shoving Sunoo rather unceremoniously to one side and holding your wrists under the guise of guiding you off the platform. 

  “An excellent idea Your Grace, but I fear we have neither the time nor the soap for such an endeavor as m’lady’s presence is needed in the garden.”

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  It really was a scene straight from one of your romance manhwas; a neatly laid tea table under a pearly white gazebo, your gloved hand wrapped delicately round the gilded handle of a steaming cup of tea–the picture of perfection in your soft yellow dress that matched the white and yellow roses blooming in the bushes surrounding you perfectly. 

They filled the cool morning breeze with their sweet perfume, sending ripples across the clear blue lake so it glittered in the morning sun.

  It was beautiful.

  So beautiful. 

  And yet it still didn’t quite compare to the man sitting accross from you. 

  You’d read his description countless times. Everything from the plush curve of his lips to the sharp intensity held in his dark eyes… yet nothing could have prepared your heart for the sound of his laughter, carried to you over the foliage, the sight of those lips spread in an easy smile as he chatted with your brother, shoulders shaking with mirth.

  Nor, you think, could anything have braced you for the chill that would run down your spine when his smile dropped the second Soobin said his goodbyes, worriedly whispering a plea for you to ‘behave yourself’ as he kissed your cheek and left the two of you alone. Your chest constricting almost painfully when those same dark eyes that you’d squealed and giggled over late at night fixed on you, void of any emotion. 

  He'd stood from his place at the table to greet you, bowing formally in reply to the curtsy your poor tutor had drilled into your bones. 

  “(y/n).”

  “Your highness.”

  “You look to be in good health.”

  “I am, the family doctor and my handmaids have tended to me with so much care since the incident, recovering well is the very least I could do.”

  An awkward pause.

  “You seem to be in good health too, Your Highness.”

  You could’ve kicked yourself when the prince simply nodded and thanked you in return–a flash of something like recognition passing behind his eyes–before they went back to that easy, indifferent facade you supposed was crafted especially for Princess (y/n). ‘which makes sense,’ you mentally deadpan, ‘she was about as close to a crazy yandere psycho as you could get without actually killing anyone.’ 

  Still, those simple pleasantries, taken straight from the pages of volume two of your etiquette lessons, were the only words exchanged in greeting.

  It made even the silvery morning breeze feel stifling.

  Ever the gentleman, the prince pulled out your chair, made sure you were comfortable, and nodded once to your guard. “All is well with the knights of the (l/n) estate, Han?”

  The effort it took to refrain from snapping your head up and giving them both a confused once-over was monumental. It hadn't occurred to you that the crown prince would be familiar with any of your personal guards, though you supposed it made sense. Most of them had, according to Felix, been looking after you since you were only nine or ten, of course they'd be on friendly terms with your fiance.

  “We've been keeping busy, Your Highness,” Han said, and you could almost hear the smile in his voice. Knowing him, he was probably rocking back and forth on his heels, hands clasped behind his back. 

  “That's good to hear,” the prince nodded, settling into the seat across from you, “I fear the royal knights have grown rather complacent since the relief and revelry that followed the war, it has been a task for General Jeong to whip them back into shape.” 

  “I can imagine,” Han chuckled. “But really, who could blame them, it’s taken us a long time to reach this peace, what good would it be if we didn’t take at least a moment here or there to enjoy it? As it is, I doubt we would have stayed so diligent if it weren’t for Her Grace, (y/n)’s been coming down to the training grounds and asking us to teach her some basic swordsmanship of late.” 

  While Han was probably puffing up his chest and beaming proudly over at the prince, thrilled to share the good news that you were finally taking your swordsmanship and safety more seriously, you were trying to avoid choking on air. 

  There were many things that you didn’t know about Princess (y/n) (l/n)–daughter of an esteemed archmage and revered general–but one of the things that had been emphasised enough in the novel enough for it to stick firmly in your mind was this: she was a frivolous, selfish, bitter disappointment to her bloodline. Squandering the skills she’d inherited from her mother to brew potions that only served her own selfish needs, and refusing to entertain the possibility that she could possibly take after the father she loathed for abandoning her to fight in the war . 

  She would never willingly break a sweat. 

  Especially for the sake of swinging around a big heavy old sword. 

  And it seemed the prince was thinking the same thing, his next words directed at you. “I didn’t know you’d developed an interest in adopting such strenuous hobbies.”

  “I… I suppose almost dying will do that to you.”

  “Indeed…” 

  There was a brief pause, in which the prince looked like he was contemplating the milky way while stirring a cube of sugar into his tea. Setting your nerves on edge as you wondered if now was a good time to bring up wanting to end your engagement, or if you should try and “ease into the subject more naturally” as your tutor had told you with his head in his hands, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of his eyes after witnessing just how “abrupt” your manner of speaking was.  

  You were still turning the words over in your mind when his voice cut through your thoughts, crisp and clipped despite the concern you guessed the inquiry was meant to show. “I was told that you were caught in a storm.” 

  “I was,” you nod with a bit too much enthusiasm, relieved to finally have an excuse to fill the silence. “I was told that I was on my way back from visiting a cousin who happened to be staying in town when a sudden storm hit us and knocked my carriage into a ravine-”

  “You were ‘told’ that you were on your way back from visiting a cousin? That fact doesn’t come from your own memory?”

  You blink, caught off guard by his interruption. ‘Isn’t that rude? Is he allowed to be rude because he’s a prince or because he’s my fiance? But wait he shouldn’t be rude either way? Ah screw it, being mad won’t help my case anyway so…’ 

  “Yes, I believe His Grace mentioned in his letter to the palace that the event and the fever that followed seems to have caused a condition the doctors refer to as temporary amnesia, my memories are only there in bits and pieces.”

  “Is this memory loss permanent?” 

  “No, we suspect I’ll start remembering things  little by little, a few are already coming back to me,” you say, one hand gripping the material of your skirt in an attempt to keep your voice pleasant and calm.

Sure, the prince didn’t like the princess much, but that didn’t mean he had to be a prick about it, he could afford to be nicer when he was asking questions about her literally forgetting her entire identity. If you didn’t know how awful she’d be a few years down the road, you would’ve found him insufferable. 

  “I see…” he said, still slowly stirring his tea.

  “What exactly do you see, Your Highness,” you smile a little tersely, bringing your own cup up to your lips, praying that the lipstick your maids had chosen was transfer-proof. 

  The prince raised an eyebrow at you, apparently picking up on the shift in your tone.  “Nothing… I’m simply intrigued by your sudden change in character, and the rather dramatic event that you claim caused it.” 

  It takes you a moment to process his words, and a moment more for agitation to prickle under your skin. ‘The fudge muffin does he mean claim?? I fell off a hill??? Hannie carried me back??? I was out of my mind for a week???’

  Reminding yourself over and over again that in his mind he was talking to someone who definitely wasn’t you, you press your lips into one of the polite, plastic smiles Sunoo had been practicing with you. “I apologise for not hitting my head on something less dramatic… I’ll be sure to aim for the carriage windows instead of massive tree branches if it would be more convenient for you… Your Highness.” 

  “What would have been more convenient for me, and all parties involved, would be your learning to heed warnings, and refrain from traipsing off into town when you know that the sky bodes ill,” he replied smoothly, ignoring the agitation in your voice. 

  “I’ll do my best to remember that then, Your Highness,” you say through gritted teeth, taking a fortifying sip of your rich floral tea, immediately wondering how the prince could possibly drink something so naturally sweet with even more sugar. 

  Your answer seemed to surprise him, another flash of… something crossing his features before it vanished just as quickly as the one before. 

  “Very well,” he nodded, bringing the sugary concoction he’d like to call tea to his lips, distracting you slightly with the way his adam’s apple bobbed as he drank. 

  ‘Oh he hates my guts but dear mother of cheesy romance he’s definitely this world’s male lead…’ you mused, shaking your head slightly to get yourself back on track. You were annoyed. Very annoyed. And the source of that annoyance was speaking to you again. 

  “I came here today to confirm for myself that you have indeed recovered fully, now that I’ve made sure of that there really is no reason for me to linger longer than necessary,” he said, setting down his cup with such practiced ease that it barely made a sound.

  Alarm buzzed under your skin, causing you set your own cup down with much less grace than intended, a sharp clinking noise ringing through the empty gardens. “I- oh shoot- Your Highness there’s actually something I need to discuss with you before-”

  “If it concerns the steadily growing pile of invitations and inquiries piling up on your writing desk we needn’t bother with any discussion,”  he said, cutting you off without missing a beat, already signalling to the guards–who’d moved away at some point to offer you both more privacy–indicating that he intended to stand and leave. "As long as you stick to the promise you just made to listen to your guards and His Grace, you’re allowed to attend and host as many gatherings as your heart desires, just know that I will not be able to accept any invitations, I am a busy man-”

  “Your Highness,” you all but snapped, lips pursed into a thin line, as if sealing them together would stop the flurry of expletives in your mouth from rolling off your tongue.

  “(y/n),” he said mildly, raising an eyebrow.

  “That is not what I wanted to discuss, but while we’re here, why the hell would I need your permission to attend any kind of gathering?”

  The prince blinked blankly, holding up a hand to signal both his and your guards to wait. “What are you on about (y/n)? You’re my fiance.”

  “Yes, exactly, fiance, and by arrangement, not by choice.”

  “I can’t say I follow your meaning, both these things are well established.”

  You swore your eyes nearly popped out of your skull with the effort it took not to roll them. “If I were your wife, or your partner by choice I would, to a certain degree, understand if you wanted me to give you a heads up before I go out-”

  “A head?...”

  “But I’m not, and at this rate I’m really not sure I want to be, I’m an individual totally separate from you, these are my decisions to make, you have no right to dictate my comings and goings… Your Highness.”

  The Prince went silent, watching you steadily, his calm an aggravating contrast to the tense knot of anger and anxiety lodged in your throat. ‘Oh… oh… I’m so sorry Mr. Park…’ you whisper a silent apology in your head and offer a few prayers for your tutor and the vein in his forehead’s good health.

  “What exactly do you mean by ‘at this rate I’m really not sure I want to be’, Princess.”

  The chill that runs down your spine when he uses your title instead of your name is immediate, your hands going slightly numb in the silken confines of your gloves.

“I mean that… that I don’t want to marry a complete stranger,” you manage, fumbling through whatever you could salvage from the script you and Sunoo had prepared. 

  “Is that what you'd call someone you’ve known since childhood?” he scoffed, the annoyance creasing his brows the most feeling he’d shown in response to you since his arrival. 

  “Well from the way you’ve spoken to me till now I can’t exactly consider you a friend now can I?” you seethe, regretting it almost instantly when his expression twists into something almost like hurt. You’re not sure why he made that face, but in a moment it’s gone, and no matter how it made you feel, you have a goal here. Not. Dying. 

  Which probably meant that pissing off the crown prince wasn’t the best idea. But oh well. 

  “I have no memory of you, Your Highness, as far as my mind is concerned, today is our first meeting… and from what I can see, the boy who’s meant to be my future husband sees me as either an object or a nuisance… I was hoping that meeting you would ease my mind about this whole engagement thing, but I’m sure now. I don’t want this.”

  The prince stared at you for a few moments, expression unreadable, and you guess that–aside from what you hope looks like defience and resolve–you look much the same. 

  When the world finally clicks back into motion, he nods once. “You do know that dissolving this agreement between our families is not something to be taken lightly? While our parents cannot force us into marriage, they will still try to convince us of our obligations.” 

  He looked up then, and something in his expression was different. It was still indifferent and unreadable as it had been, but there was a softness to it that you couldn’t quite place. It was confusing. “I understand, I know it won’t be easy, but this is my wish,” you say, relaxing slightly in your own seat. 

  “If that is what you want… I will speak to my father once things have settled down within the palace… I jest about the knights and their complacency, but the air is less than still, war is a messy business, and cleaning up the aftermath will take some time.”

  “I can wait… till next spring, but you must have asked him by then.”

  “I will,” he nods, “and I’ll write to you once it is done so you may speak with His Grace as well.”

  “Thank you… it’s appreciated…”

  You stay like that for a beat longer, staring at each other from across an intricately laid tea table, each of you wondering what the other must be thinking.

  “If that is all… I shall take my leave,” he says, breaking the odd trance. Standing, waves your guards over, and you take that as your cue to stand and curtsy as well. 

  “It was a pleasure meeting you, Your Highness, the (l/n) family thanks you for your time.” 

  “Likewise,” he says, bowing. 

  Han and two other knights make their way over, wearing slightly troubled expressions, you guess they must’ve heard more than they were meant to. But it doesn’t matter, you think, eventually the news of the broken engagement would be the talk of the town, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about a few knights getting a preview. 

  “Before I go,” the prince says, “you should know that you never needed my permission for anything, (y/n). You may come and go as you please, you are an individual capable of thought and making her own decisions, as you say. However you must understand that to the public eye, you are the future crown princess, and that is not something to be taken lightly. It is my duty to do what I can to protect the royal family’s image, and having my fiance attend tea parties and balls when she is not in her right mind would have been foolish, to say the least.”

  He’s being earnest, you realise. Apologising in his own roundabout way. Maybe. Whatever it is, you choose to take it, knowing that beneath whatever dislike he may hold for the former princess, Park Jongseong was a good person. 

  “I… I’ll remember that in future…” you murmur.

  “Good… and one last thing.”

  “By all means.”

  “I know now that you have no memory of me, but you should know that you’ve never called me by my title.”

  “Oh?” to your memory, the princess had never called him anything but his title, he wouldn’t allow it. “Did I… call you by your given name?” 

  For the first time, he smiles at you, and you curse your heart for the way it flutters in your chest. “No, I don’t expect you to use it if it brings you discomfort, but the nickname you gave me when we were six was ‘Jay’, because you said I resembled a bird by the same name.”

  “A Blue jay?”

  “Yes, my hair was lighter then.”

  That confuses you slightly, his hair is black, as far as you can tell, but you ignore it, choosing to smile politely and nod along. “It must have been a very handsome bird.”

  “It was rather ugly, actually,” he says, walking down the gazebo steps to join his guards. “I bid you farewell, Princess, the royal family thanks you for your time.”

  “Likewise,” you respond, watching him as he goes. Noting with a hint of amusement that his hair shines blue in the now bright morning sun. 

  “What was all that about?” a voice says, and, predictably, Sunoo appears from one of the side paths. 

  “Were you listening the whole time?” 

  “Well I tried, but the fountain was too loud, only caught some yelling.”

  “Some guard you are,” you whine, smacking Han on the arm as he joins the two of you, “did you even realise a sneaky little rat was eavesdropping? 

  “Ow! For your information I did, but I figured there was no point chasing him round the gardens when I knew you’d be inviting that rat to tea anyways.”

  “That is very true,” you sigh, grabbing a plate and settling yourself across from Sunoo–who already had a mint chocolate chip cookie stuffed in his mouth. 

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  “(y/n)! Forget soap we’re gonna need bleach for that mouth tonight,” Sunoo cries, doubled over in a fit of giggles.

  “I knowwww,” you groan, massaging your temples. “Mr. Park’s gonna kill me.”

  Sunoo shakes his head. “You make the poor guy sound like an old man, you do realise he’s only our senior by about two years, right?”

  “He’s still my tutor! I’m trying to show some respect, as a thank you for how patient he is with my dumb ass.”

  “He deserves a raise,” Han chips in, settled on the marble gazebo rails with a plate of cheesecake in hand. 

  “He doessss,” Sunoo agrees, waving a teaspoon for emphasis.

  “You’re all really mean y’know,” you sigh, slumping over the table and grabbing one of Sunoo’s hands and moving it into the shape of a rabbit.

  “Not as mean as Sunghoon’s about to be when he sees your posture,” Sunoo says. 

  “What do you mea- Oh! Good morning Professor Park!”

[sourbinnie]

Hiii i have a request . Can you do as 9th straykids member when you left the group? and their reaction or maybe their massages? Just please as a friend not SHIP 💀 TYSM ❤️🫶🏻

title -> sooner or later genre -> angst my beloved | voicemails pair -> ot8!skz + 9th member!reader a/n: i wrote it as voicemails since it's my favorite style. i hope you still like it ¡!¡!¡ since i don't really do messages. ALSO this is not romantic like you wanted i put a + instead of an x, that's how i differiante it.

"(y/n). where do i even start? i'm not mad, let's say that. i'm just mostly concerned, it was just announced to us that you left the group and we never talked about this? like, i've never  seen you look discontent with being a part of stray kids. is there things that i don't know? i would love to talk to you before it goes public and we have to say you're not a part of the team anymore. i just wanna know what happened, you're like a sibling to me and i don't wanna lose one of the most important parts of the band because we just didn't talk you know? anyways, please answer as fast as you can".

chan left the voice message with as much strength as he could as he looked around the room. he didn't even wanna know what was gonna happen now because he never planned for stray kids to be eight. there was an empty space in the dorms now, a new type of silence and an increase of anger & confusion in all of the members that was justified right? why would you just leave? that's what they said. you weren't kicked out, just decided your time on stray kids was enough and he needed to speak to you to know what you felt.

✉ ✉ ✉

"so you decided to just leave? without telling any of us? real funny of you. i'm not disappointed or sad, i'm just fuming (y/n) and to think we trusted you. do you not understand that you ar- were a part of this for life? we were supposed to stay together forever. how do i even explain to felix and jeongin you're probably not gonna come back? i've never seen them look so distraught. i know i didn't show it but i really wanted you to be there for me in my most important moments 'cause i thought of you as a friend for life. i don't know what went down but this doesn't excuse your reaction to leave us in the dust".

minho felt betrayed, like he was stabbed and someone twisted the dagger. he wanted to protest against the manager that announced it all and he did, he did not stay silent like the rest. the shock then suddenly appeared knowing that they were eight members now and the fact that he wouldn't see you around the dorms, in practice, at the concerts, or at the music shows. it made him sick to his stomach that someone he considered a brother/sister just disappeared with no reason.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey, i know it's kinda late but the news were just blurted out to us. i have no idea how to react. i just wanna know what happened, clearly there was something we didn't know that we need to talk about right? 'cause you can't just leave. i'm not gonna go out without a fight either, you are like one of my best friends and that's not gonna change. it's just so weird, we were talking about so much shit yesterday and you said you could only see your future with us and now you're gone? just like that? all your things are getting packed and it's just hard to watch. i don't imagine stray kids without you and i don't even want to".

changbin was completely lost. utterly and weirdly lost as he processed everything, another time he would've fought against it and he would've invaded his manager with questions (even if they were gonna remain unanswered). in this state he found himself in, he spammed you messages after sending the voicemail but they all weren't even seen. he wanted to go to chan for help but he saw the leader lost that shine in his eyes when all of this was announced. 

✉ ✉ ✉

"(y/n), i-i literally don't think this is the right decision. i know it's already in the work and that you will decide what's best for you. i am no one to tell you what to do but have you thought this through? leaving us? i'm just worried to be honest. felt like crying when they told us but i was a strong boy for you and yet you wouldn't care if you didn't care about leaving either. god i'm sorry, i'm just going through all the emotions at once and i still don't know how to react. just please call me and we'll talk it out like we always do, the team won't be the same without you and i don't even wanna think about you leaving me".

hyunjin knew he was being selfish by sending a voicemail like that and he did not care. even if didn't feel like crying before, he sure as hell was crying now thinking of his brother/sister and what could have happened for them to just leave. how did the person who was the most excited for him to come back from hiatus just decided to leave? and now they wouldn't answer their texts, it's like they disappeared face off the earth. hyunjin just wanted to get out of the dorms and go look for you, and guess what? he did.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey. gosh, is it too late already? to be sending you this voicemail and hoping you come back? i know it's not easy. i don't know exactly what you went through for you to be making this decision on your own but i wanna know, i wanna get to know you better. even after all these years, i feel like we didn't discover each other fully and i want more, i want your visits at the studio, us messing up choreography on purpose and writing lyrics together till the morning. tomorrow is gonna be awful for all of us but for you especially as this is gonna go on public and i wanna be there for you before it all crumbles apart".

jisung wanted to know what happened first of all. then he wanted to hug you and not let you go, afraid you would slip away from his embrace and he would have to be left alone. if there was a thing people didn't mess with was his friends and he considered you to be on top of his list with the rest of the members. sharing a dorm with him, must've been a nightmare but you two managed to be a mess together. now looking at box after box of your stuff, he just felt the biggest hole in his heart.

✉ ✉ ✉

"are you okay? do you need me to go where you are? i know it's late but i would do anything for you, you know this. even right now as everyone is losing their minds, i just care about you and that might show a bit of favoritism. i just don't know what the hell happened for you to go, was it something we did or said? 'cause i can't recall and i will apologize a million times if i have to. it's just a lot okay? just to be told that you decided to leave and it was your choice. and if it was i just wanted to know if we could remain friends because i seriously don't want to lose you. just call me back please".

felix was devastated. the fact that you were alone somewhere, away from them, away from him. knowing that even if he said that he wanted to remain friends, the company wouldn't like that and you two would probably never see each other again. it just felt so weird to wait around for a message when you were the quickest to type them out but now it was as if the world was against him or something. he needed to hear your voice and to maybe tell him that it was all a really well calculated prank.

✉ ✉ ✉

"why did you leave? i don't wanna go in circles. i just need to know bluntly and straight the reason why you decided to leave us. weren't we forever? you said that so many times that right now it just feels like another lie. all the things we promised, they're gone too right? (y/n) please fucking answer me before i lose my mind. i am not a person to beg for anything but i would do it right now for you to explain what the hell happened. we are all as confused and lost as we could be! you didn't even say it to our face, were you scared to face us? why would you be scared? we were always gonna support you if you gave us a reason".

seungmin of course didn't mean to sound as angry as he did. he just couldn't help it when he was left in the dark by one of his closest friends and the worst part is knowing that this voicemail was gonna be left on seen. he threw his phone onto his bed as he sighed, hoping you would just answer. it was just scary to him that all of this was happening and he had no idea how to react. you weren't there with them like you always were and he wished for nothing more than for you to come back.

✉ ✉ ✉

"hey (y/n). it feels weird to call you by name but i just need to get your attention somehow so you answer me. it's been forever since we know each other and now to be witnessing what might be the end for what we were building, just leaves me with a bad taste. did we do something? or was it just something else happening that you never told us? either way i would rather you have stayed. i don't wanna cry because you wouldn't have liked that but i feel like i'm gonna do it anyway. not like you're here to stop me even though i wish you were. just please call me or any of us back, i wanna hear your voice telling us the truth".

jeongin's eyes were watery but he quickly wiped them away. he sat there on the couch while everyone was in their rooms and waited. he looked at the door every once in a while thinking maybe it would help him but at the end of the day it just hurt more to now that you probably weren't gonna come back. scrap that, you weren't gonna come back at all and this would be announced tomorrow. he felt like choking but he still stayed strong as he tried to think of the good moments with you and holding on to the memory for dear life.

[writingforstraykids]

Lessons in love - Chp.1

Pairing: Hyunchan (mention of Changlix | Minho)

Word Count: 4013

Summary: Chan and Hyunjin, both teachers at Stray Seoul University and roommates, are hopelessly in love with each other, too scared to admit anything. Chan's best friend Minho tries to help after he gets jealous of Felix and Changbin casually flirting with Hyunjin all the time.

Warnings/Tags: college!au, fluff, angst, mutual pining

A/N: So this whole thing is based on this reblog by miu @slutforchanlix and the following rambling with azzy @galaxycatdrawz. This developed into a series real quick and will focus on different dynamics between the rest of the boys as well. I hope you'll have fun reading🖤

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

In the quaint corridors of Stray Seoul University, where ancient oaks whispered old secrets and the breeze carried the scent of fresh paint and old books, Hyunjin and Chan found their sanctuary a few years ago. The two of them were close friends and roommates, each harboring a secret that was as beautiful as it was terrifying. This secret was their unspoken love for each other, a silent symphony that played in the background of their everyday lives. It had been for years.

Hyunjin, with his delicate hands and bright eyes, was the Arts teacher. His classroom was on the third floor of the main building, a room with wide windows that bathed his workspace in natural light. Here, canvases burst into life under his guidance as he taught his students the dance of brush and color. His methods were something new, and his critiques were always constructive but layered with an enthusiasm that made every student feel like a budding Van Gogh. His passion for art was evident in the way his eyes sparkled when discussing the texture of a painting or the gradient of a sunset.

Chan, on the other hand, loved his position as an English teacher. His domain was just a corridor away, in a classroom filled with the rich aroma of old books and new paper. Chan’s lessons were a journey through the landscapes of literature and the intricacies of language. He had a reputation for making Shakespeare relatable and teaching grammar without the usual dread associated with it. His students loved his animated storytelling sessions and the way he could bring characters to life, making metaphysical poets as compelling as contemporary novelists.

Their home was a small apartment just a few blocks away from Stray Seoul University’s campus. It was a cozy little apartment, where each room was filled with the artifacts of their professions - Hyunjin’s sketches adorned the fridge, while plenty of Chan’s annotated copies often lay scattered on the coffee table. They moved around each other with comfortable ease, a rhythm perfected over time, shared smiles, and an occasional brush of hands that neither dared to acknowledge the way they’d love to.

Despite their closeness, both Hyunjin and Chan were guarded about their feelings. Their friendship was a delicate vase on the edge of a table, beautiful but terrifying in its fragility. Evenings often found them on their small balcony, where they talked about everything but those feelings. Hyunjin would describe his latest project, his hands painting the air as he spoke, while Chan would listen, his eyes often lingering a moment too long, full of words he couldn't voice.

At college, they maintained a professional but friendly demeanor. Students often speculated about their closeness, their seamless cooperation during faculty meetings, and their mutual admiration when discussing school projects. They were known for spending their lunch breaks together, and every student knew if there were a field trip planned, the other would be the additional teacher. Both were beloved for their dedication and the safe space they created in their classrooms. Their colleagues respected them for their talents and the subtle ways they supported each other - Chan providing literary quotes that Hyunjin might use in a lecture on art history, or Hyunjin recommending visual materials that could help Chan illustrate a point about descriptive narratives.

Yet, in those quiet moments between tasks, when the world seemed to slow down, Chan found his thoughts drifting to Hyunjin more often than he would admit. He remembered their first meeting, an accidental encounter in the university library back when they just started studying themselves. Chan had been searching for a particular book on Elizabethan poetry when he had spotted Hyunjin, a few shelves away, deeply engrossed in a book on Renaissance art. Their eyes had met briefly, and something unspoken had passed between them that neither of them could explain.

From that moment on, their paths seemed to intersect more frequently. Shared lunches in the cafeteria turned into evening strolls around the campus, and those strolls led to late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning. Each interaction was a new layer added to their growing bond, a bond that was as comforting as it was confusing for Chan.

He often found himself mesmerized by Hyunjin's presence. There was something about the way Hyunjin moved, with a grace that seemed almost ethereal, and the way he spoke, his words like gentle strokes on a canvas. Chan admired his friend’s passion for art, the way he could lose himself in a painting for hours, completely absorbed by the play of colors and textures. It was during these moments, watching Hyunjin in his element, that Chan felt the stirrings of something deeper, something that went beyond friendship. Shit, he was in love, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Hyunjin’s love for Chan had grown slowly over time, like a seed taking root in the fertile soil of shared experiences and mutual respect. He cherished their friendship, but the intensity of his feelings often left him breathless. He admired Chan’s dedication to his students and the way his face would light up when discussing a particularly engaging piece of literature. Hyunjin found himself mesmerized by the passion in Chan’s eyes, the way his hands would move animatedly as he spoke. It was in these moments that Hyunjin felt the stirrings of something deeper, something that went beyond friendship.

Every day, as they walked to the university together, Hyunjin would steal glances at Chan, hoping to catch a glimpse of the emotions that might mirror his own. The soft morning light would play on Chan’s features, highlighting the lines of his jaw, the curve of his lips, and the warmth in his eyes. Hyunjin’s heart would beat a little faster, a silent testament to the love he kept hidden.

One rainy afternoon, as they sat together in the university café, Chan was grading papers while Hyunjin sketched absentmindedly. The sound of rain tapping against the windows created a cocoon of intimacy around them. Hyunjin looked up from his sketchpad and watched Chan for a moment, admiring the way his brow furrowed in concentration.

“What are you working on?” Chan asked, glancing up from his papers and catching Hyunjin’s gaze.

“Oh, just a rough sketch,” Hyunjin replied, a blush creeping up his cheeks. He quickly looked down, feeling the weight of his unspoken feelings.

Chan smiled warmly at his friend's shyness. “Can I see it?”

Hyunjin hesitated for a moment before handing over the sketchpad. The drawing was a portrait of Chan, his features captured with an intimacy that spoke volumes of Hyunjin’s admiration. Chan studied the drawing, a look of surprise and something else - something tender - crossing his face.

“This is incredible, Hyunjin,” Chan said softly, his voice filled with awe. “You’ve captured…so much.”

Hyunjin’s heart raced as he searched Chan’s eyes for any hint of recognition, any sign that his feelings might be reciprocated. But Chan’s expression remained unreadable, and the moment passed, leaving Hyunjin with a bittersweet ache in his chest. “It's nothing,” he waved him off, taking it back.

Chan chuckled at him, fondly rolling his eyes. “Always so modest.”

Hyunjin hummed gently, staring out of the window as Chan continued working. He watched the raindrops painting their vivid pictures along the glass, but his eyes went back to Chan much sooner than he’d like. He often found himself caught in moments of quiet admiration for Chan, his eyes tracing the contours of Chan's face with the same intensity and focus he applied to his art. 

A sliver of late afternoon sunlight streamed through the window, breaking through the clouds and illuminating Chan’s profile. The light danced across his face, highlighting the arch of his cheekbone and the curve of his jaw. Hyunjin watched as Chan read, completely absorbed in his students’ work, his brow furrowing slightly in concentration. It was these unguarded, intimate moments that Hyunjin cherished most - the quiet, the soft rustling of pages, and Chan's expressive eyes moving swiftly across the text.

Chan’s beauty was not just in his features but in his movements and expressions. When he laughed, his eyes lit up, creasing at the corners, and his whole face seemed to brighten the room. When he was deep in thought, his lips would purse slightly, and his fingers would tap rhythmically on the surface beside him. These nuances, these small, everyday gestures, drew Hyunjin in deeper, his admiration growing with each passing moment.

Hyunjin's sketches often contained these details. His sketchpad was filled with lines attempting to capture the essence of Chan’s expressions. Each drawing was a silent testament to his deep affection - a collection of moments that Hyunjin treasured. 

The sound of the door opening pulled him from his thoughts, a soft smile covering his lips, spotting Felix. Felix, the owner of the cafe, was a charismatic Australian who had quickly established his little shop on campus as a warm, inviting haven. With his sunny smile and talent for remembering his customers' favorite orders, Felix had become particularly popular among the university crowd. His friendly banter and the occasional free pastry for his regulars only added to his charm.

"Hyunjin, Chan! Good to see you guys," Felix greeted them with his usual broad smile, putting aside his jacket. His gaze lingered slightly longer on Hyunjin, something that didn’t escape Chan’s notice.

"Hey, Lix," Hyunjin replied, his own smile a mirror of Felix’s enthusiasm. "It’s getting chilly out there, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, perfect weather for a hot cup of your favorite," Felix chuckled, already turning to prepare their usual orders, spotting their empty cups on the table. "The usual for you both?"

"That would be great, thanks," Chan interjected, trying to sound casual but feeling a twinge of discomfort at the easy banter between Hyunjin and Felix.

As Felix set about making their drinks, Hyunjin browsed through some of the new art magazines stacked on a nearby shelf while Chan watched Felix. He had noticed the way Felix moved with an effortless grace around the café, the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, and how he seemed particularly animated, especially around Hyunjin a while ago. He knew Hyunjin and Lix got along quite well, and he wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and destroy that. It still bothered him.

When Felix brought over their coffees, his hand brushed against Hyunjin’s as he passed him the cup. Chan’s heart sank a little at the sight, the warmth in Felix’s eyes seeming to hold a hint of something more than just friendliness.

"So, Hyunjinnie," Felix started, slipping onto the bench next to him with a casual air, "how’s the new project going? You were telling me about that abstract piece you were working on."

Hyunjin’s face lit up at the question. "It’s going well, thanks for asking! I’m trying some new techniques, so it’s a bit of a challenge, but I’m enjoying it."

"That sounds amazing. You’ll have to show me sometime. I’d love to get a better understanding of your process," Felix replied, his interest seeming genuine but his tone perhaps too eager for Chan’s liking.

Chan watched as Hyunjin nodded, his eyes bright with the prospect of sharing his work. "Definitely, I’d appreciate your feedback."

The conversation flowed smoothly, and Chan felt increasingly like an outsider, his contributions to the conversation feeling forced and hollow in comparison to the natural rapport between Felix and Hyunjin.

The rest of their café visit passed in a blur for Chan. He laughed at the right moments and engaged in the conversation when necessary, but his thoughts were clouded with an unwelcome jealousy. He found himself analyzing every interaction between Felix and Hyunjin, each smile and each glance adding to his growing unease.

Chan tried to talk himself out of his feelings. Felix was just being friendly, he reasoned; it was part of his charm and why the cafe was so popular. Yet, no amount of rationalization seemed to soothe his unease.

One day, driven by a mix of desperation and a desire to understand, Chan decided to confront the situation. He waited until he and Hyunjin were alone, their steps echoing slightly as they walked through the quiet university campus back to Chan’s classroom.

"Hyunjin, can I ask you something?" Chan’s voice was hesitant, a stark contrast to his usual confident tone.

"Of course, Chan. What’s on your mind?" Hyunjin looked at him with concern, sensing the seriousness in his friend’s demeanor.

"It’s about Felix… and you," Chan paused, struggling to find the right words. "Do you feel like he’s… well, flirting with you?"

Hyunjin looked surprised, his eyebrows arching slightly. "Flirting with me? I… hadn’t really thought about it. He’s always nice, but I just thought he was like that with everyone,” he said, pulling the door to Chan’s classroom closed after himself.

Chan nodded slowly, the response not quite easing the tightness in his chest. "Maybe, but it seems different with you. More personal."

Hyunjin considered this for a moment, then sighed. "I suppose I can see how it might come across that way. But he’s with Changbin; he can’t mean much with it,” he giggled. “Changbin does it too, and you never mentioned it.”

Chan anxiously chewed his lower lip, thinking of Felix. There was something undeniably captivating about Felix - his demeanor exuded a warmth and magnetism that drew people to him. Watching him, Chan couldn't help but feel a mixture of admiration and a curious twinge of envy.

Felix's laughter could fill the café, a sound that seemed to echo off the walls and infuse the space with an extra dose of vitality. His hair was tousled perfectly as if each strand had been artfully arranged to give him a carefree, effortlessly charming look. His eyes sparkled with genuine interest as he listened to his customers, making each person feel like the center of his world. It was this quality, Chan thought, that made Felix not just a great café owner but a person who seemed to love his life and his interactions genuinely. It was hard not to think of Felix as someone out of a feel-good novel - the charismatic, adventurous protagonist that made Chan sometimes feel like he was missing from his own life. Sitting there, sipping his coffee, Chan allowed himself a moment to imagine what it would be like to live with that kind of joy and confidence. He couldn’t really blame Hyunjin for preferring his presence over his own.

“Yeah…but Binnie has stated quite often that he’s joking,” Chan argued weakly, his thoughts lingering on Changbin, the PE teacher whose presence seemed to lighten the mood wherever he was. There was an undeniable vitality about Changbin, an enthusiasm that he brought to his classes and interactions. Changbin’s face wore a constant, warm smile, making him approachable despite his imposing physique. His kindness was not just in his gestures or words but in his eyes, which sparkled with genuine concern and interest whenever he engaged with his students or colleagues. Today, Chan had watched him from afar, helping a student perfect their volleyball serve, his patience evident in his calm demeanor and encouraging nods. Chan admired how Changbin treated everyone with the same level of respect and kindness, whether they were star athletes or struggling novices. It was this treatment that truly set Changbin apart in Chan's eyes, making him not just physically attractive but deeply admirable. 

Reflecting on this, Chan thought about the subtle strength underlying Changbin’s kindness. It was a reminder that true strength was not just physical but the grace with which one treated others. Changbin’s hands, so capable of demonstrating sports techniques, were also gentle in offering a reassuring pat on the back or a high five. There was a natural charisma about him that made people feel valued - a trait Chan not only admired but also aspired to include in his own teaching. 

Hyunjin remained quiet for a moment, frowning softly. “I’m sorry, Chan, I didn’t realize it was bothering you. I thought you liked Lix."

Hyunjin's words caught Chan off-guard, stirring a mix of feelings within him. "I do like Felix," Chan admitted, his voice tinged with reluctance. "He's a great guy, but seeing him around you like that... it made me feel unsettled. And I guess it's because..." Chan hesitated, the words stuck in his throat.

"Because what?" Hyunjin prodded gently, almost hoping for Chan to make a confession right here and now.

Chan sighed, the weight of his unspoken truths pressing heavily on him. "It's because I care about you, Hyunjin. More than I probably should,” he said, missing the hopeful glint in Hyunjin’s eyes as he stared at the floor.

Hyunjin's expression softened, his eyes conveying a mix of surprise and compassion. He reached out to place a reassuring hand on Chan's shoulder. "I care about you too, so much...so, please be honest. What’s suddenly bothering you about it?"

Chan looked into Hyunjin's eyes, finding in them a reflection of his own fears and hopes. "I just don’t want you to get hurt," Chan said, managing a small smile despite the tumult of emotions inside him.

“Oh,” Hyunjin nodded, forcing a smile onto his lips. “There’s no need, really. Lix just loves to flirt a little,” he said, swallowing down the bitter taste of disappointment lacing his throat. “I should get to class; I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Chan nodded, staring after him. A shaky breath left his lips as the door shut close behind his friend, and the silence around him grew awfully loud. “Coward,” he whispered to himself, groaning softly. He checked his watch and nodded to himself. One more period until lunch break. Which meant his best friend had his break now, teaching a class later. Slipping his papers into his bag, Chan made his way to the faculty lounge, where he knew he would find Minho, the beloved Dance and Performing Arts teacher and his best friend since childhood. Minho was already at their usual spot in the corner of the university's bustling cafeteria, his tray filled with food. As Chan approached, Minho's face lit up with a welcoming smile.

"Channie! How's the master of Shakespeare today?" Minho teased, pushing a chair out with his foot for Chan to sit.

"More like the master of self-conflict," Chan muttered as he sank down into the chair, his shoulders slumping.

Minho's expression shifted to one of concern. "What's up? You look like you've lost a fight with a couple of your metaphysical poets."

Chan chuckled weakly. "It's not the poets giving me trouble. It's...it’s about Hyunjin."

Minho raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. "Hyunjin, huh? What about him? Don't tell me you finally confessed?"

Chan shook his head, stirring his coffee absentmindedly. "No, nothing like that. It’s just... Felix was flirting with him again, and I don't know; it made me feel weird."

Minho's laughter filled the air, a light-hearted sound that made a few nearby students glance over in curiosity. "Oh, Channie hyung! That’s classic!"

"It's not funny, Minho," Chan protested, though a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help feeling... jealous."

Minho burst out laughing again, covering his mouth with his hand. "Jealous? Of Yongbokie? That man flirts with anything that breathes—it’s probably just his way. But this is good!"

Chan frowned, puzzled. "How is any of that good?"

"It means you’re finally facing your feelings head-on instead of burying them in your lesson plans and Shakespearean monologues," Minho chuckled, then became more serious. "Look, Chan, it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that you’ve got it bad for Hyunjin. Maybe it's time you did something about it."

“Do what? He’s probably happy about Felix showering him with love,” Chan sighed heavily. “He might…oh fuck you,” he snorted at Minho’s intrigued grin.

"Might fall for his devilish charms?" Minho finished for him, his voice dripping with mock drama. "Come on, Chan. Hyunjin’s got eyes for someone else, even if he doesn’t know it yet."

Chan sighed, knowing Minho was referring to him. "I wish that were enough to stop me from feeling this way. I just hate feeling so... powerless."

Minho reached across the table, placing a reassuring hand over Chan's. "Listen, hyungie, what you’re feeling is totally normal. But you can’t control how Felix acts or how Hyunjin responds. What you can control is what you do next. How about you focus on showing Hyunjin just how much he means to you?"

"And how do I do that without spilling my guts and potentially ruining everything?" Chan asked, his voice tinged with frustration.

"Subtly, Channie. Subtly. Start with small things. Be there for him, make him laugh, and share more of those deep poetic thoughts you keep locked up in your brain...do it with him for once instead of drooling all over my food during lunch break,” he teased softly, pulling a small smile from him. “Build the connection you already have. Trust me; actions speak way louder than confessions thrown out during a moment of jealousy."

"But what if it ruins everything?" Chan’s voice was tinged with worry. "Our friendship, our living situation... I can't lose him, Minho."

Minho nodded, understanding the depth of his friend's fear. "I get it. But consider this—what if telling him opens up the chance for something amazing? You won’t know until you try. Besides, Hyunjin's a great guy; he won’t let this ruin your friendship."

Chan considered Minho's words, the fear mingling with a flicker of hope. "I... I don’t even know where to start."

"Start with the truth. Tell him how you feel, how you've been feeling. It’s not about Felix or anyone else. It’s about you and him," Minho advised, his tone gentle yet firm.

"And if he doesn’t feel the same?" Chan’s voice was barely a whisper now, the weight of his unspoken love heavy on his chest.

Minho’s face softened. "Then you’ll deal with it like the mature, sophisticated intellectuals that you are," he said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. "Seriously, Chan, honesty is terrifying but liberating. Hyunjin deserves to know, and you deserve to be honest with yourself and him."

Chan considered Minho's advice, feeling a semblance of a plan forming in his mind. "Maybe you're right. I just need to be patient and more... proactive."

"That's the spirit!" Minho exclaimed happily. "And who knows? Maybe Hyunjin is closer to seeing the truth than you think. You've got to give some credit to our boy; he's an artist, after all. He sees beauty where others see the ordinary."

“Talk about being poetic,” Chan giggled at him, and Min winked at him fondly.

The bell signaling the end of the break rang, pulling them back to the reality of their day. Minho stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Think about it, okay? I’m here no matter what happens. And who knows? Maybe Hyunjin is waiting for a sign from you."

Chan nodded, feeling a mix of dread and determination settling in his heart. "Thanks, Minho. For listening... and not making too much fun of me."

Minho laughed, pulling Chan into a brief, tight hug. "What are friends for if not to listen to your romantic worries and push you out of your comfort zone? Now, go inspire the future lovers and poets. And think about what you want to say to Hyunjin."

"Thanks, Minnie. Really," Chan said, feeling genuinely grateful for the pep talk.

"Anytime, Chan. Now fuck off and finally be the leading man of your own love story," Minho cheered, giving Chan a playful shove toward the door, giggling as the older flipped him off. 

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

As their ways parted, his mind raced with possibilities and what-ifs. The thought of confessing his feelings to Hyunjin was daunting, but Minho's words echoed in his mind, a mantra of encouragement and challenge. Maybe it was time to stop hiding behind their friendship and take a risk that could potentially change everything.

Taglist (Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist):

@atinyniki @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143 @sapphirewaves

[ybklix]

stargirl

black hair felix my beloved, just felix my beloved₊˚⊹♡

★ pairing: idol!felix x fem!reader one shoot.

✦summary: After a fashion event in Paris, Felix decides to visit you at your apartment, you two are best friends, you have kissed before but you don't know how to take the next step even though you both want each other badly.

♡notes: 2022 felix in ysl event outfit.

✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / only 18+ / reader's pov / oral sex / unprotected sex / fingering / masturbation / foreplay / needy reader

word count: 6.1k

one shoot (masterlist)

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ I had a vision A vision of my nails in the kitchen Scratching counter tops, I was screaming My back arched like a cat My position couldn't stop, you were hitting it.

I gently placed my fingers over my lips, removing the crumbs from that cookie bite I had just taken. Followed by several bites, I would occasionally run my tongue, while, standing in front of my kitchen island, I flipped through the pages of my previous month's Vogue magazine... I had to confess that I was a little nervous. My mind was all over the place and my stomach seemed to drop with every passing second... still, the cookie was sweet and delicious, I couldn't stop eating it.

The sudden message notification sound distracted my attempted attention from the magazine. My cellphone was right next to it, and that's when through the screen I managed to read his name, and a message telling me to open the door, that he was outside; once again my stomach dropped with nerves and my breathing was short. This used to happen to me when I really liked someone. I think I really like him.

I didn't bother grabbing my cellphone, I just nervously smoothed down my pajama shorts and ran for the door. I was so nervous, I knew he was coming, but I didn't expect it, inside a part of me was begging for him to say I'm getting tired, I think I'll get some sleep, see you tomorrow.... Only then maybe I would feel calmer.

I didn't take any more time to think and simply opened up, finding his slim complexion dressed all in black, in front of me. He smiled at me. I smiled back and let him in.

His scent reached me in his soft breeze as he passed, every passing second was killing me, I really didn't know how much longer I would have to survive like this.

Disappointed that our greeting was just a shy smile, I followed him with my eyes. I was tired of neither of us making the first move, it's not like we hadn't kissed before... I just felt like he had this thought that there wasn't enough trust yet, or maybe he thought we couldn't cross that line yet. Agh, if only he knew… it was what I was looking forward to the most. We had spent an excellent afternoon, touring the city, I took him to my favorite places, talked like I had never talked before, showed him every useless thing in my apartment, my favorite paintings, my favorite restaurant, I was near him for hours… and still, no little kiss. I closed the door after his entrance, he walked a few steps in the foyer and turned to me, looked me up and down, frowned and said:

“Oh sorry, were you going to sleep already?”

I felt my cheeks burn. Embarrassment took over me; the truth was that after a hot afternoon, I wanted to take a bath and make myself as comfortable as possible, but in a… sexy way, to tell the truth the bare shoulders and perfectly loose pajamas were quite cute, just right, why would I feel embarrassed… a part of me knew exactly what I was doing, however the me of the moment, standing in front of the man I liked, didn't have the slightest idea. In fact, I wanted to give the relaxed appearance, as if I didn't care so much in his presence, when in reality I spent hours fixing my hair knowing he was coming, I used concealer under my eyes and richened my lashes by placing a clear mascara, light liquid blush and my favorite perfume on my neck.

“No, I just wanted to be comfortable, although you know… it is a little late” I answered awkwardly, I didn't know how to keep a conversation and he knew that, “Do you want a drink?” I tried to make him comfortable.

“Sure.”

We went to the kitchen where, in two glasses, I served us wine, because I was nervous and didn't really know what I was doing.

“I drank it quite a lot today”, he said.

I looked at him, surprised that this might not be what he wanted to drink. He was sitting on the other side of the kitchen counter as he watched me pour the drink.

“But it's okay” he hastened to add when he saw my reaction, “Champagne, wine, people, basically it was all like that.”

I opened my mouth in amazement, I was just about to ask him how that designer campaign meeting had gone. I must admit, it was quite attractive to seet him at that kind of event.

“Really? And how did it go?” asked him and took a small sip from my glass. I walked around the table, to approach him and hand him the drink.

“Good. Sit here” he suddenly ordered, pointing to the chair next to him on his left side, then stared at me.

Where had that come from? It was so sudden and so… good, I really liked it. Hearing him order me in that voice, I wasn't at all upset. He knew perfectly well that I would do everything I could to push him away, no matter how much I wanted him to, I just couldn't. So I obeyed, and like a good friend about to overhear a friend's conversation, I sat down next to him. Our knees bumped, and he kept staring at me. Quickly realizing his tone, he cleared his throat and tried to take it back.

“Ahh, to talk more comfortable.” I smiled. I liked him too much, couldn't he see it?

We were facing each other. My breath was starting to hitch again, my heart was racing and it was enough just to see the beauty of his face.

At times like this, I pray for him to go away, only then I could breathe. “So, how was your night?”

I used a soft tone and tilted my head a bit to listen to him, just acting like everything is fine. Felix let out a sigh, frustrated, puffing out his cheeks.

“You know well I was nervous, but I enjoyed it, people were so kind” he laughed softly. “It was fun, a lot of people came to Hyunjin and I, they were nice, the atmosphere was good, I guess.”

“That's good to hear.” I saw him pass his gaze to my lips quickly, then quickly divert to the counter, where he captured the cookies on the container.

“From where?” he pointed them out.

“Oh, from the bakery nearby, didn't you see it when you came here?”

“I think so, it looks nice” he smiled at me.

“Do you want some?” I asked him, to which I hurriedly stretched out my hand to reach for the container.

Felix nodded, and gently stretched his neck, opening his mouth. He waited for me to feed him. I unconsciously smiled like a fool at his action and took a cookie, handing it to his mouth, Felix laughed between mouthfuls and took it. From a sweet and innocent act it went to tension, as I suddenly felt his heavy gaze, fixed on me, as he delicately licked his lips. Felix. Making me go from one emotion to another. Does he know how nervous he makes me? I'm sure he does and I'm so embarrassed.

“Tastes good.”

I smiled at him. With nothing more to say, I thought for a few seconds until he spoke again.

“So you didn't go out today?”

I shook my head.

“I came here and wanted to rest a bit.” Felix let out a light chuckle, then took a sip from his glass. I must admit, I memorized every little detail of something that only lasted three seconds… it was like in slow motion. Him, with his elegant build, dressed in a way he regularly doesn't, his shiny black button-down shirt, his formal black jeans, his hair still perfectly groomed despite hours of a tedious social event… the way his arm came up and the glass came to touch his mouth, gently closing his eyes and stretching his head back. I was absolutely lost. Absorbed. I averted my gaze as fast as I could when I realized he wanted to captivate mine.

“And… Hyunjin… didn't he want to hang out?”

Felix looked down for a second and gave a half smile.

“Not really… he said he wanted to rest. But I did want to come and spend some time.” He looked at me once more. This time I could feel the tension and the incredible magnetism in our flimsy bodies. Under the glowing light of my kitchen. Just the two of us. Was it me or was his breathing getting heavy? I smiled at him. Again, out of words to which he added:

“I wanted to see you.”

I froze, I swear if he touchs me I can turn into a liquid state. Still, I pray for him to do it. Now. I watched his fingers play with the cup, and the seconds seemed eternal. I didn't know what to say.

“Wanna listen some music?” he suddenly interrupted, clearing his throat and putting his hand over his fingers.

He quickly stood up on his seat. I looked at him confused; Felix headed for the turntable in my living room.

I soon realized, he may have felt uncomfortable, unrequited. I should have said something, silly me. Why doesn't he just take me, can't he see that? Why doesn't he just...

“I listen to it a lot for my French class” he said cheerfully, showing me the cover of Edith Piaf's album.

I smiled warmly at him as I approached him. One thing about Felix is that he would act as if nothing had happened a few seconds ago, just like me, one of the few things alike that we shared.

“It's fun to learn with music.”

“True... but I don't feel in the mood for Piaf's...”

“How about…” he turned, searching through the albums until finally showing me one, “Yes.”

My smile widened so suddenly.

“Lana? Really?”

“You say it's always a good time to listen to her.”

I wanted to capture him in that moment. Him holding my favorite album, with a smile, taking it gently.

“And it is.”

Nervously, without thoughts, I sat down on the couch. The first few seconds are a kind of crunching sound emitted by the record player, it's so... satisfying, then the best part started: the guitar of cruel world, the song. I closed my eyes tightly, hiding my excitement.

Opening my eyes I found a smiling Felix, approaching me, then sitting down next to me. If I thought about it, Felix's all black outfit, his dark hair, matched the album aesthetic completely.

“I love that song” I told him.

“I know. You love all of them.”

I looked sideways at him as I blushed. The song with that slight crackle was so special, I hadn't heard it in a while. I'm obsessed again.

“I'd do anything to hear it for the first time. To erase my memory and... experience it again.”

Felix laughed. I was so happy to hear Lana that I unconsciously moved closer and closer to him.

When the song ended, suddenly it caught my attention that he got up from the couch to go get his phone from the counter, where he stayed for a while, apparently just texting. I sighed, and decided to approach him. He was acting strange out of the blue, I thought he liked me back... I have to prove it before I build up any more stupid expectations.

Felix laughed and kept on texting. It was no big deal. He was confirming his schedule with someone on his staff for tomorrow. Or so I read. As I steped back, slowly, I saw his relaxed expression, and his adorable profile. Well, if I didn't do it now he would leave with nothing but a void in me.

I tried to pretend to check my phone too, but nothing was getting my attention.

“Felix” I called for his attention.

He raised his eyebrows, as a sign that he was listening, but he wasn't. His eyes were glued to the phone screen, his fingers typing nimbly. He looked so good doing the tiniest thing, still, I wanted his attention.

“Felix” I called him back, to which he unexpectedly locked his phone, placing it on the table and stared at me.

He folded his arms, looking relaxed. He was leaning on the edge of the table, facing my living room. Good. Now I had his attention. It took me a few seconds, I tried to captivate him, to let him feel the atmosphere, to which, then, feeling the blood rise in my cheeks, I let out a small laugh at the phrase however I dared to tell him:

“Do you want to kiss me already?”

He thought about it the shortest second and the next, finally, he drew a shy smile on his face, moved closer to me... and I felt his lips on mine. I could die right there.

His hands took hold of my waist and pulled him closer to his body. We were pressed together, moving our lips slowly, enjoying ourselves. I tried to stand on my tiptoes, as my arms wrapped around his body as well. We lasted like that for a sweet minute, his right hand ran from my waist to my face, where he placed his hand on. We looked at each other. The glance after the act was always….

I didn't have time to think. He interrupted my thoughts as his lips crashed into mine again, but this time it was more passionate, quick, desperate. I think we had only kissed like this once before, and it ended up leaving me totally craving something more.

I felt the warmth and softness of his fleshy lips brush mine; this time his grip was stronger, and his hands torturously roamed my body, my back, waist, caressed my hair, I felt his hands touch my flimsy silk pajamas, and I noticed the coldness of his shirt buttons and belt sticking to me. I tried to keep up with him, but suddenly his tongue made me open my mouth wider. He was initiating it.

I just wanted a piece of him tonight, before he walked through that door, before I went to sleep sad that I didn't tell him how intensely I felt...that I wanted him. But this felt so intimate, special. I hope he can finish what he's starting, my legs don't respond, I can hold on because of his strong grip and I feel my temperature rising.

Our breaths shorten. We manage to separate, but Felix looks serious, focused. Then the torture continues, he follows with light kisses, at the corner of my lips, around my face, my lips, the tip of my nose, at one point in his actions, our hands intertwine and he continues, teasing me. He knows I'm impulsive and may take his lips in a desperate act; but I didn't feel like doing it now, that little moment felt so right, lovely, warm, perfect.

Slowly, his kisses came down, each brush felt like a prick, it's sharp, startling, pleasurable pain. My breathing was getting faster and faster and I can hear the throbbing in my ears... for a second I thought if he is feeling the same. But I couldn't get a good look at him. He deposited kisses on my jaw all the way down to the neck. So this was how it was going to happen. I thought.

I couldn't help but feel the sudden violent throbbing in my lower part. Shit, this time I was already wet. I was aroused and I was dying to know if he was feeling the same.

His perfume overwhelms me and the brush of his nose kills me. For a second it's not about sex, it's not about the incredible urge I have for him to take me, remove my clothes and have him do with me in sudden frenzied actions of his, to cry and scream... for a second... it's about the art of touching skin to skin. I needed him. To feel him close. So close. To breathe in his scent as I lay my head on his shoulder, making me his. It was almost as if this whole process was so tedious, I wanted to be under his skin already. To feel wanted by him.

I was about to regain my composure until he came to give me kisses on my shoulders. I was just asking over and over again in my inner thoughts and cries, please take off my blouse.

He grabbed my butt and again pulled me into his body. That's when I opened my eyes a little in surprise as I finally felt him and, I realized, we were both aroused.

His cheeks were colored with a slight reddish tinge and his hands traveled from my ass to the inside of my blouse, where he roamed my waist. The cool touch of his rings against my warm skin made me let out a soft moan, one that managed to make Felix smile broadly.

Once again we found ourselves kissing, but now slowly, delicately and passionately. His hands were finally touching my skin, sometimes he would bring his hand up and I felt his thumbs play with my nipples, he would squeeze my breast and, I had to admit, I loved it. But it frustrated me at the same time.

As we parted, in a quick act due to my frustration, I boldly removed my blouse and threw it on the floor, letting Felix see part of my naked body for the first time and, giving him the green light, that is absolutely happening tonight. I wanted it so badly. I wanted him to see it all if it's possible.

He opened his mouth slightly in surprise, I let him watch for a few seconds and before he could make the next move, I stepped forward, giving him another quick, passionate kiss, then I was the one moving down his neck and then to his slight bare chest. As I did so I could hear Felix's heavy breathing close to my ear, followed by sighs of frustration, exasperation and the occasional slight moan in his deep voice, which really turned me on more and made my legs lose the strength to stand there, standing in front of him. My bare breasts brushed against his silky shirt and I felt the pressure of his hands caressing my bare back, occasionally pushing my loose hair away from my face.

Finally I managed to unbutton his shirt, I stretched it a little to get it out of the grip of his belt and left it open; I saw his flat and worked abdomen, stupidly I ran my hands over it, feeling it; Felix let out a chuckle with an arrogant tone, to which I quickly raised my eyes and he stopped laughing, even so, he returned a sweet smile, one that ended up melting me.

Unsure, I started moving down, depositing kisses on his chest then his abdomen... if I kept moving down this would have a consequence, so I hurriedly and nervously, directed my hand to his erection, where I gently touched it on his pants. I looked up to see Felix's reaction, but he was already closing his eyes, letting himself go. I squeezed it some more, massaging it, this time Felix moaned. From one second to the next, I was on my knees. In front of his notorious bulge, about to do what it's excpected.

Felix leaned back agains the table a little, relaxed his body and with his left hand began to gently stroke my hair.

When my breathing was becoming uncontrollable, choppy and irregular I was starting to like it more. Just like now. With trembling hands, from excitement and nerves, I unbuckled first his belt... then the button of his pants, his zipper... before pulling it down, I looked at Felix, who was watching me from above, even at that angle he looked so good. I think I had fantasized about seeing him in this position... me pleasuring him.

“Do it” he said to me, in a frustrated tone, almost in a gasp.

His voice became deeper than normal. He licked his lips and waited to be satisfied.

My knees were losing resistance, and the pulsations in me were getting stronger and stronger. My mouth began to produce more saliva and I felt my cheeks burn intensely.

I finally pulled down his pants where I found his erection on top of his underwear, more prominent.

I wanted to play his same game, and I kissed slowly over the fabric, stuck my tongue out moistening him a little and used my hands. It was soft and hard at the same time. Meanwhile, I heard Felix cursing in a low tone and sighing. But I couldn't resist that little game anymore, so I pulled the elastic of his underwear, and I had to turn my face away, otherwise he was going to slap me. I closed my eyes for a second and then opened them to finally see him. I blushed instantly, perplexed that this was actually all happening, me about to give him a blowjob... and I used to be so shy around Felix.

It was perhaps, better than I had imagined, perfect length —I think even a little bigger than I thought— perfect thickness, color and obviously kept the area clean. Shit, it looked so good.

I directed my left hand to his straight, firm manhood, feeling the texture of his skin, going up and down, stroking his tip with my fingers, until I reached the other end. Meanwhile my best friend lifted his head back in pleasure with muffled moans.

Before I felt it in my mouth, I wanted to feel it on my lips. I wanted every end of me to feel his texture... I was pretty sure this was going to keep me happy for quite some time... and of course, his love and understanding, I hoped.

I kissed it once, then opened my mouth, closed my eyes and ran his length across my lips. His warm, stiff, throbbing sex was finally at my disposal, his pleasure was now up to me and the thought was enough to make me wet again. I could be on my knees, below him, but I still felt that all the power belonged to me now.

Without further ado, I held him with moderate force and began to lick him, moistening and lubricating him... from his glans to his base, tentatively taking his balls from time to time and at last, I was ready to take him into my mouth. Concentrating on not ruining it, I sucked hard, using my tongue and making him rub the softness of the inside of my cheeks. He seemed to love it.

That's when I noticed a weak Felix, surrendered and letting himself go, holding more and more to the kitchen counter with his hand and the other one not letting go of my hair.

I continued my work, in, out, from shallow... to trying deeper, pulling him out, flicking my tongue and when I felt my jaw hurt, I used my hands.

Felix's moans and gasps were getting hotter and hotter. But nothing compared when he moaned my name in his voice, or when he let out little whispers, like this, it feels good, it was the best music to my ears, even better than the one that was playing in the background... it was priceless, the feeling was on another level. I wanted to be his already.

The atmosphere was burning, nothing around us could turn us off, he was totally lost to the pleasurable sensations and desire. His moans were so hot, blending together with the music and the grotesque sounds of his penis in my mouth, it was all too much that I couldn't help but run my hand slowly over my body, traveling over my tits, pressing them, imagining it's him, finally him, until I reached my wet spot. I was dying to be touched, but I had to stop myself. I really wanted it to be him this time.

Felix noticed my groping, bit his lip and, between the incredibly deep look of lust —a dark, piercing, serious yet brilliant look, my new favorite look of his— I noticed his intentions to stop me and take me. To touch me.

But I didn't want to. I didn't want to stop until I saw him cum. Climax. For me. And only for me. I wanted to see him made a mess just for me. If that included having to hold out a little longer for his touch, I would hold out.

I kept up my work for a while longer, keeping a rhythm, speeding it up, feeling every outstanding vein, his skin texture and fat vibrating cock inside my mouth and sliding down my tongue. Tears were starting to come out of my eyes, my nose was about to get runny… I was so turned on that if he didn't cum, I would at any moment. I swear his moans, the strong grip on my hair, loud sighs and gasps as he called my name were enough for me. I was going crazy.

I could tell how much he loved to be pleasured, the movement of his hips was slight, and his little pushes and pulls on my hair were gentle; just Felix always being so considerate.

Until I felt salty droplets of his pre-seminal fluid coming out of him, lubricating the area more, making it slippery, I knew he was going to cum soon. So I continued, harder.

Felix's moans began to change suddenly his ahh was getting deeper and steadier, his legs were getting weaker and that's when I suddenly felt something warm shot my mouth, followed by a loud exasperated moan from my best friend, fuck, he yelled. He filled my mouth, dripping semen on the edges of it.

I was surprised, but I couldn't help but smile in satisfaction, seeing him fully yielding, with his head back, I was just looking at his bare abdomen, his long neck and marked jaw. I withdrew my mouth and hands slowly, still a mess was made, one that didn't bother me at all, after all it was what I was looking for. His semen fell a little on the floor and there were drops on my chest; I didn't know exactly what to do so I thoughtfully swallowed it. After all Felix was a guy who kept his diet healthy, just someone to trust I guess.

I looked up and found Felix staring down at me from above, at a fucking hot angle, with a cocky grin, he said with a husky voice:

“Did you just swallow it?”

My cheeks burned in embarrassment, I was already hot, and my face already had that pink tinge to it; but for some reason I felt the intensity of the color rise, I didn't know what to say, I was suddenly back to my shy self; was it wrong?

His hands searched my cheeks and lifted my gaze. Quickly, I stood up, never breaking eye contact.

“You're too good. Good girl.”

Still, I was still so horny and wanting so much more. Felix smiled at me, moved dangerously close to me and with his thumb wiped the semen beside my mouth, ran his finger across my lips and made me open my mouth, tasting him one last time. I would never have thought Felix would do something like that, I was surprised and delighted. At the end of the day he was just a little older than me, I guess there is more sex experience in him than I know; I was dying to know.

Without hesitating, he took me by the waist and sat me on the table, the cold, hard marble stone it was made of made me moan. This time Felix had no time to waste, so he pulled hard on my shorts and panties, leaving them lying on the floor and me, completely naked and vulnerable in front of him. I quickly glanced down at my body and then stared at him, his chest still rising and falling from heavy breathing, his gaze turned darker than usual and he still looked focused.

I blushed, he only moved closer to me, separating my legs to accommodate his body and began to kiss me, but now his hand was holding my neck tightly and the other was squeezing and playing with my breasts until he reached my wet pussy, where I put my legs together a little and gave a little jump of surprise when I felt his fingers pass through my area.

I confidently opened up more and more to Felix and wanted to enjoy his touch. I felt two of his slender fingers run up and down, until they found my clitoris, which made me moan in between the kiss, making me shudder, making my nipples hard and, by uncertainty, bringing me closer to his body. Finally he squeezed it and began to make movements, up and down and then circularly. He pulled away from me, but his face was inches from mine. I saw in detail his serious countenance, his pink lips with their perfect heart shape, the freckles scattered across his face and the hair falling a little to his forehead beginning to unkempt, our eyes meeting again.

I held myself with both hands, placed firmly on the table, but I felt small in front of him, I felt like he was now in total control of me. My muscles were contracting, my stomach was enlarging and shrinking from my breaths and constant sighs of excitement… his touch made me swoon. He continued like this, a few painful minutes in which I felt more and more of my climax until he moved down and inserted two of his fingers. It felt so good, with his thumb he kept caressing my clitoris and wet labia; he kept his rhythm, without being rough, it was perfect. I closed my eyes and let myself go, still wanting more of his touch.

“Does it feel good?” he said in my ear in a husky voice.

He smiled broadly. I knew it filled his pride and he liked knowing he was good at what he did, if not the best. At times I was afraid this would happen, Felix can be a bit of a perfectionist, yet he seemed to handle it very well, he cum for me and just now I was watching him masturbating himself. His hand was going up and down and pulling hard his cock, he seemed to be a little rough on himself. He looked so good. I suddenly realized, I wanted him inside me right now.

Felix caught me watching him, removed his fingers from me and began to tease me, rubbing the head of his erect penis over my wet, throbbing lips, pressing and slapping it. I just groaned in frustration.

“Do you have a con…?”

“Do it like this” I interrupted him, aroused.

Felix frowned, confused and unsure of his next move.

“They're in my room. But you can really do it like this” I tried to calm him down and persuade him.

I didn't want to walk to my room for a condom and I didn't want him to come off me right at the best time of night either. Yes, I was thinking stupidly and one little mistake could be forever but those were problems of the future, now I was here, next to him, ready for him to fuck me.

Then, the thing I craved so much, he pushed it into me, slowly until it was all inside. Felix grabbed my waist, pulling me closer to his body, feeling his length deepest in me. I let out a moan. Him inside me felt so good, so right.

And then he started with the non-stop movements, the thrusts. He started slow and when I felt it, I asked for him to do it faster. The sound of our bodies colliding was beutiful. Felix in one swift movement gracefully slid his shirt off, throwing it to the floor, leaned towards me and I couldn't help but touch his naked torso. His arms his back, and his thin silver chain dangling, moving. It felt so good I had forgotten what an incredible dancer he was, he had amazing control in his hips. His thrusts were strong, deep and steady, each one deteriorating me, destroying me, in the best possible way.

My breasts were moving up and down and Felix was moaning and panting freely near my ear. Everything was wonderful. I managed to wrap my legs around his body and stroke his soft hair, I was feeling so full and full that I could predict my climax at any moment. He felt it, my legs trembling, my muscles shrinking, my back arching and my eyes watering with my grip on his back tighter, my inner walls felt so hot, wrapping his hard dick tightly.

So, before I could cum, he kissed me, caught my lips, passionately. And I climaxed, this time moaning louder than the previous times and one more time… calling his name.

Felix didn't cum yet, but he seemed happier for my reaction as a half-smile appeared on his face. He continued inside me but now in a more delicate and slower, almost romantic way, until he pulled his erection out of me, resting it on my belly and came.

I was trying to catch my breath, as was he, for a few seconds we said nothing. Until we looked into each other's eyes and we both burst into laughter. It was bit funny because evidently we both wanted to have each other so badly.

I got off the table, thinking, this doesn’t have to end yet, I feel sticky for the fluids and a little embarrased. Since we were here, there was one more thing I wanted to do, well, hundreds, but right now I was only thinking of one. I want to jump on his dick.

“Let's go to my room”, I said, taking his hands, almost in a plea “Take off your clothes.”

Felix still had his pants and underwear on, only they were both pulled down. Without looking back I walked to my room, almost jumping of happiness. I waited for him, sitting on my bed. I was wet and ready again just thinking about it. Felix came in a few seconds later, shy, blushing and covering his area, as if I hadn't seen it all before. I laughed slowly and he sat down next to me, on the edge of the bed, so with a nod I told him to settle in nicely, with his full body to the bed.

Finally we were both naked, ready to give ourselves completely once again. I spread my legs apart one on each side of him, putting my body in front, and kissed him again. That unique kiss that we loved to give each other so much, passionate, strong and intense. My hands went down from his abs to his already hard cock, playing with it a little. As we parted, I looked at him, and confessed:

“I want to feel all of you again, Felix; is that okay?”

That meant I wanted to feel every raw texture of his hard cock inside me, every inch rubbing all over my guts.

He looked at me, so fucking cute with his big brown cat eyes; he nodded shyly.

I smiled and put it on. Slowly, teasing him. I played a little, rubbing it in my area, rubbing it, just like he did. Letting myself fall gently on his cock, stroking it over my cunt without putting it inside of me yet, moving slowly back and forth, Felix closed his eyes in pleasure, and I couldn't hold back any longer, I was just getting wetter and wetter, my area was was throbbing, ready to ride my best friend's cock.

So I stared at him.

“Now it's my turn” I said.

I had this theory that Felix liked to be slightly dominated and, evidently he liked to have the attention to him and I seriously liked to give, so it was a perfect dynamic. And without further ado, I settled him right into me. Felix moaned and his hands held my waist tightly.

Then I started to do it finally, what I wanted so badly after all. I jumped on him, slowly moving up and down… as I felt his hands run up and down my body, damn it was excellent. My cheeks once again burned and I felt slight sweat break out on me. Felix seemed to love it and that was just what I wanted. I rested my head near his neck for a moment, breathing in his scent and feeling his soft hair on my nose. I had him just the way I wanted, close to me.

Once again, the beautiful, grotesque sound of our skins colliding mixed with our pleasure-filled sighs and moans. Until culminating in my second orgasm and for him, his third. The sensation was so indescribable and more when you’re together with the person you wanted.

We hugged. Felix gave me a tender kiss on the cheek as he stroked my arm and hair. I expected nothing more from sweet Felix than adorable after care; he was just like that.

I think I was going to sleep next to him for the first time. Internally I squealed with excitement and returned the tender kiss on his cheek.

[miharuki]

hello!!! may i request second part of "once upon a time there a blue love"? thank you

(i think it would be cute if you included small moments between reader and Felix because they're cousins and I'm curious about how their relationships are and if reader told him about her and luka and their separation yk in episode where he was introduced as Argos. I'm also happy that you wrote moment from season 5 about Luka moving away because i can barely find any Luka x reader that catched up to season 5)

feel free to ignore this request and this suggestion. i just wanted to say that i appreciate your work and that you're doing great writings. take care!!!

I'm replying to these two messages, this one took a lot of work Thank you for liking my content, I worked hard on part 2 (3864 Words ) Again remembering that my English is not the best, it is not my original language ;P

Your requests are an order!

(angst, fluff at the end, Gabriel is still the worst person, Félix already knowing things without you needing to say it, Marinete and Adrien dating, season 5 spoiler)

(Part 1:)

𝕺𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖀𝖕𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝕿𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖆 𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝕻𝖙 2

Once upon a time...

There was an elegant house with noble people They lived rich, rich in black hearts At the top of that mansion, there was a room, a room with a window, a window with a marvelous view, but it belonged to a lifeless room, a room where a person who loved too much was imprisoned, you, Oh, poor girl, she saw from her window everyone else being free, while she stayed and lamented not being good enough for her beloved, who is far away and with whom you can no longer converse, And all because her father is concerned about her status, so concerned that he didn't think twice before imprisoning his daughter, like Rapunzel in her tower.

"—And how is she doing?" Nino asked as he placed his hand on Adrien's shoulder, who was approaching the circle of friends.

—My father still says she's sick, and she doesn't seem to leave her room when I'm around," Adrien said, sighing sadly as he remembered how, after the events and Luka's trip, she was practically "isolated" in her room, which according to her father, claims she's too ill to leave. This raised suspicions among some friends, especially Marinette and Ayla.

"But we haven't seen her in a week!" Rose said, hugging Juleka, causing Adrien to sigh.

"I know, but from what my father told me, she got sick during one of the rehearsals and now needs to rest, especially because he doesn't want me to get sick too."

Now, this seemed even more suspicious to her friends. Marinette looked at her phone, seeing her friend's list of unanswered calls. She then glanced at Adrien, noticing how he seemed a bit down, and approached him. Despite her feelings for him, she placed her hand on his shoulder, making him look at her.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine," Adrien smiled at her, while everyone else agreed, not wanting to make the situation sadder."Have you tried calling her?" Ayla suggested, looking at her friend Marinette, who was frantically using her phone as if trying desperately to get in touch with you."No, my father told me she dropped her phone in one of the fountains while landing, and that's why she got sick"Something is definitely wrong.

Meanwhile, you were locked in your room, unable to leave your eternal "punishment," still not understanding why things were this way. You realized that your father was making you feel lonely again as you looked around the messy room. You got up from the bed and looked under it, spotting a decorated and locked box. Pulling it out, you removed a key that was attached to your necklace, along with another one that Luka had given you in the past. You used the key to unlock the box, and you smiled upon seeing the various items it held—a small Viperion plushie that Luka had won and gifted you during one of your encounters, numerous song lyrics, and a few other objects given by your friends, the ones your father hadn't confiscated.

You realized how much you resembled your past self, feeling empty, lonely, and above all, with no one to talk to or confide in. You closed the box and locked it again, tucking the key inside your shirt as you climbed back onto the bed. You clutched your blouse and felt the other necklace Luka had given you, hearing the door open behind you without even looking back.

"Your father told you that you will return to modeling again, and this time he expects you to comply," Nathalie said as she fiddled with her tablet."By the way, your dinner will be delivered to your room again. I hope you eat this time," Nathalie turned to leave without waiting for your response, closing the door behind her, and you could hear the door being locked. You sighed sadly, then walked over to the window, looking out at the landscape that thankfully hadn't been taken from you. You gazed at the distant Eiffel Tower and the starry night that adorned its background, thinking about how beautiful the night was despite being alone in your locked room. You prayed that Luka was okay.

"I've already talked to Luka about the situation," Juleka said as she joined her group of friends. Marinette, being the great planner she was, was trying everything to make things calmer. "He told me to send his regards to her and that as soon as she can, she should call him."

"I still find this very strange!" Marinette said as she got up from the sofa in her room and started pacing in circles. "I mean, after Luka's sudden departure, a few days later, Adrien says that (name) is sick? There's something wrong here."

"Look, this time I even agree, but it could also be true. Don't you guys remember it rained last week? And do you remember the photo in the magazine that day, right? It's clearly (name) in the rain posing, so obviously, she would get sick!" Ayla said as she tried to ease the situation.

"Yes, true, I saw it!" Rose said while standing beside Juleka, making her nod in agreement too.

"But still!" Marinette said before a hand was placed on her shoulder, making her look back to see her friend Ayla.

"Look, that's enough, Marinette. I think you should put this aside, especially since you have a date with Adrien tomorrow."

"Yes, that's true!" the girls said, making their friend Marinette blush, while she tried to speak but gave up.

Meanwhile, (name) put on her fakest smile as she continued to pose at certain locations. "Yes, perfect! Very good!" the photographer exclaimed as he continued taking photos, with you striking every pose and wearing a cute outfit. Finally, the photo shoot was over. "Break time," he said, and you sat down, your smile fading, returning to your sad expression. You spotted Nathalie approaching with her tablet.

"You're doing well, because of that, you can choose what you'd like to eat," she said, looking at her tablet without leaving your side.

"I-I think... I'd like some (your preferred food) from Dupain-Cheng Bakery, please," you said, looking at the ground before turning to Nathalie.

Nathalie gave you a quizzical look before sighing and going to her driver, who then got into the car. Nathalie returned to your side, looking at her tablet and tapping away. You let out a tired sigh, sitting down, swinging your legs and looking around to try to pass the eternal boring time. In the meantime, you glanced up at the blue sky, watching the birds fly by and catching a glimpse of a red and black blur streaking across the sky, heading somewhere. "Here you go, eat while you still have time," Nathalie said as her bodyguard and driver handed her the Dupain-Cheng Bakery bag containing the food you had requested.

"Thank you..." you said in a low tone, almost like a whisper, looking at the school and smelling the sweet scent of the bakery where your friend lived.

"Tomorrow is the Diamond Ball, so after your session today, we'll take you to the studio to order your dress. Your father wants you to look good," you only nodded, listening to Nathalie go over your schedule.

Since you returned to modeling, your father refused to let you be alone, so you were always accompanied by Nathalie, who, although she seemed fine, you couldn't help but glance at the equipment on her legs, wondering if something had happened to her.

"Come on, show me a look of comfort! A look of longing, as if you were reminiscing about seeing these flowers!" the photographer said as he asked you to hold a bouquet of red roses, sitting on a picnic blanket with flowers all around. "Not like that!" he said, looking at your expression. "Show more emotion! A little happiness! See how beautiful these flowers are!" he pointed at the bouquet. Looking at the bouquet, you saw a blue dragonfly land on a rose, and a faint memory of a garden you went to with Luka came back to your mind, making you miss him. You gave a small smile as you buried your face in the roses, inhaling their sweet and fragrant scent, smiling at the memory of the day he asked you out.

"Yes! Perfect! Very good! Keep going!"

"Would you like any roses? A ribbon or some colorful embellishment?" asked the seamstress as she took your measurements. "No need for color, just white will do. The outfit Mr. Agreste designed only requires adjustments elsewhere," Nathalie replied as she tapped on her tablet. You watched as the seamstress took your measurements to add to the dress. And of course, you were also looking at the shoes, which your father had also designed, but for some reason, he wanted everything to be perfect.

"Welcome, Mrs. Agreste," the guard said as he allowed you and your father to pass. Your gaze remained melancholic, though not enough for anyone to notice that you were sad; it simply showed that you didn't want to be there, which clearly you had no choice in. Sitting on a sofa, you waited and watched everyone there enjoy themselves, not letting on as some tried to talk to you or somehow get your attention. All you did was divert your gaze until you reached the soft white couch.

"You look sad, did something happen?" a voice asked, and you looked to see what appeared to be your brother."Hello to you too, Félix," you said as you closed your eyes and leaned back on the couch."You always know how to identify me no matter what," he said, almost laughing if he didn't see your tired expression. He approached and sat beside you."What happened? You're usually more lively," he said as he looked at you, prompting you to release a tired sigh.

"My father..." Félix sighed with his words, but before he could say anything more, looking at Gabriel in the distance, a voice came to your rescue.

"Hello, (name)!" You opened your eyes, seeing Kagami. You blinked as she sat down on your other side, and you straightened up. It had been a while since you talked to any of your friends."You haven't been to school anymore. I heard you were sick. Are you feeling better now?" You looked away, glancing at Gabriel in the distance, almost choking."Yeah, of course, I was kind of, you know, sick... you know, now I'm better!" You said, not wanting to know what kind of lie Gabriel had told Adrien for him to be able to tell the others like this.

Before Kagami could ask another question or say anything else, you suddenly got up.

"You know, I'm going to grab a drink or something to eat, be right back!" you said as you almost ran away. You didn't want to talk about anything, but what could you say? Tell them that your father didn't approve of relationships and that he had put you on indefinite punishment for lying, running away, and breaking the one rule he gave you? How could you talk about this situation?

Near the food area, you grabbed some sweets to try to occupy your thoughts and emotions. As you looked at the dance floor, you saw your cousin, who resembled your brother, dancing with someone. Not wanting to say anything, you simply ignored it.

You entered the bathroom after eating some sweets and looked in the mirror, observing your well-groomed and elegant figure, your perfectly done hair, and your fancy dress. This wasn't you. The only thing you saw that truly belonged to you was your necklace, which you had hidden under the dress. Pulling it out, you looked lovingly at your reflection in the mirror, seeing the necklace that Luka had given you.

"Luka..." You never stopped loving him, even though your father had locked you in your room. You never stopped missing him. Crouching in the bathroom while looking at your necklace, you caressed it, hoping that someday you would find him again.

"Adrien!" you heard someone shout, looking out of the plane window. You saw Marinette running towards the airplane stairs with Adrien following behind.

Ah yes, it seems you weren't the only one with a forbidden affair. You watched Marinette and Adrien kiss before the bodyguards separated them. A wave of déjà vu came over you when you saw this scene, which felt so familiar. You saw Adrien being dragged onto the plane and placed in his seat, looking out the window while crying.

You averted your gaze and saw the plane starting to move to take off. You lay down, holding your blouse and feeling the necklace underneath it. You prayed and wished that you could find Luka.

"This will be your room," Nathalie showed you the hotel room. You saw that the view was nice, but it wasn't anything special. It was just another room where you would be confined. You leaned on the balcony railing, looking at the horizon and feeling the wind tussle your hair.

"It's only for a few days..." you commented, resigning yourself to the situation, holding the necklace that Luka had given you once again. You sighed with sadness.

"Can I stay in the park for a while, please?" you asked your bodyguard, who was currently looking after you while you posed for photos since Nathalie had fallen ill and couldn't make it. You looked at him, waiting for a response, and he saw the sadness and emptiness in your eyes, so he nodded in sympathy. You smiled weakly as you hugged your bodyguard. "Thank you..." He just patted your head and pointed to a bakery nearby, and you nodded. He would be in the bakery while you stayed in the park.

You watched your bodyguard's back disappear as he entered the bakery, and you smiled as you sat on the park bench, feeling a sense of freedom being away from supervision. However, a sad sigh still hung on your face, as if you were feeling trapped.

"A smile suits you better," you choked when you heard someone speaking, a familiar voice. Looking at the owner of the voice, you couldn't believe what you were seeing.

"Luka..." you said softly in a whisper, getting up from the bench. Your hands trembled. The boy with blue-tipped hair smiled as he approached slowly. He was nervous, hoping it wasn't a dream. He hugged you when he was close enough, burying his head in your neck.

"I missed you so much!" he said as you returned the hug, feeling the tears you had held back for so long, also feeling the boy's tears staining your clothes.

"Luka!"

"You didn't call me anymore, I had no sign from you. I thought something had happened. But then Juleka told me you had gotten sick, but that's not true, is it?" Luka looked at you, asking for confirmation, but all you did was bite your lip and turn your face away. "Why are you hiding, love?" Luka asked as he placed his hand on your cheek, caressing it.

"I..." You didn't want to talk. You didn't want to burden Luka. He wasn't at fault. You didn't want to speak; all you wanted was to be with him now.

"Please, (name), you can tell me," he said as he hugged you, stroking your hair.

"It was him, wasn't it?" You lifted your gaze to Luka before turning away again.

"I won't force you if you don't want to..."

"Someone told my father about our relationship. He doesn't accept the fact that I'm dating someone who isn't 'famous' or a friend of my father's. He took away all my technology so I couldn't talk to you or our friends. He thinks me leaving was a terrible idea. I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault... it never was..." Luka placed his hands on both your shoulders.

"B-but! It was my fault. I didn't follow my responsibilities; I was careless, and I couldn't talk to you either... It's my fault... I just... my father, he just...!" Suddenly, an irritated expression crossed Luka's face.

"It doesn't matter!" You looked shocked at the boy as he wiped away your tears and put on a gentle smile.

"No matter what your father says or what the media wants, you've made me the happiest boy on the planet, and I've missed you so much since we were apart. You keep being the song that plays in my mind. I don't care if others see; I love you, (name)!" With that, Luka put his hand on your cheek, pulling your face closer to his, and finally kissed you. Not a peck or just any kiss—it was a kiss of love, one that showed how much you both loved each other. Amid that romantic moment, several people stopped to look at both of you.

"(Name) Agreste, Adrien Agreste's twin sister and Gabriel Agreste's daughter, kissing a boy in a public park." That's what people thought as they passed through the park, and some took photos.

"I love you, (name)," Luka said as he rested his forehead against yours.

"I love you too, Luka..."

"It seems that it wasn't enough," Mrs. Tsurugi commented as she listened to the latest news report that Gabriel was speaking in.

"Your children are being disobedient, unlike my daughter. Yours are out of control," Gabriel groaned in frustration as he looked at the screen, seeing the photo someone had posted. The photo itself wasn't particularly striking, just a girl taking a selfie with you and Luka kissing in the background. Similar photos like this ended up in some local newspapers, especially in the fashion industry, which only added to Gabriel's irritation. As if it wasn't enough to have to punish you, Adrien followed suit, and now just when it seemed like you were behaving, you go and kiss some random boy...

"It's not working... I think I'll have to proceed with the plan," Gabriel said as he looked at another screen, watching the cameras showing you, Adrien, and Kagami lying in white beds in a room that resembled a sanitarium.

"Let's begin..."

"(Name)!" Luka called out, running to you. You looked at him sadly, and he stopped, now concerned, as you turned.

"(Name), my love, what happened?" He placed a hand on your shoulder, seeing your back.

"Let's break up..." The boy's expression was shocked when he looked at you.

"What do you mean, (name)?" He seemed to want it to be a lie, hoping it was a lie. You had met again just a few days ago, and now you wanted to break up. Didn't you love him?

"(Name)?" You pulled away from the boy.

"Let's break up! I don't want to see you anymore!"

"(Name), if you can explain to me what's wrong, I'm sure we can find a way..." he said, trying to hold onto some hope.

"I don't like you, Luka. Why can't you understand that? I don't want this anymore!" You said angrily to the boy, who looked at you with sadness. He tried to reach out to you, but you simply pulled away until another random boy appeared, taking you away, leaving Luka shocked.

"(Name)....?"

Upon waking up, Luka realized it was just a dream. He brought his hand to his face, wiping away the tears, and sighed, feeling his heart calm down. He reached for his phone, checked the time, and saw his wallpaper—a happy photo of both him and you. He smiled, knowing it was just a nightmare, and that as much as it seemed real, it wasn't. You loved each other too much for something like that to happen.

He held onto the necklace you had given him on his birthday and looked at the ring on his finger—a ring that symbolized your relationship.

That is until...

"Bring back Adrien and Kagami!" Luka didn't know what had happened, but suddenly, everyone started getting akumatized. He knew it had something to do with the nightmare he had because his father and the secretary had reported having extremely heavy nightmares and couldn't stop thinking about them.

"Let's go! We need you!" Bunnix said, opening a portal for them to pass through.

"Thank you, Luka," you said as you leaned against him, watching your friends having fun in the pool at your house. You couldn't remember anything, and all Luka remembered was that suddenly, while fighting to break the akumatized rings, there was an explosion in the sky, and then he woke up, noticing you beside him. He wished it wasn't a dream now, and that you could be together.The look Marinette gave him was enough for him to know that you were now by his side, to stay.

"I should be the one thanking you," you looked at him confused, while he chuckled and gently kissed your lips, leaving both of your faces blushing and happy. "I'm lucky to be dating an amazing girl like you, (name)!"

"I love you, (name)!"

"I love you more, Luka!"

Applause came from some friends who were nearby, watching as you kissed again, but this time, it was to confirm something you both already knew— that you loved each other.

It took me 2 days to finish!!! And I finally finished!!!! Amen! I hope you liked it, if you want I can do another part :)

@midzuuumi

@famouschopshopgalaxy

[staybabblingbaby]

Best Friend Protocol #12 (Blackmail part)

[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]

Concept: You're Felix's childhood friend, and you and he have been planning a visit to see him for his birthday for what feels like years now. Unfortunately, SKZ is a very busy group, and the week-long vacation you'd planned for doesn't seem possible. Until Felix decides to ask his bandmates a favor...

Word Count: All images, so N/A. Unless someone wants to make these accessible but I don't really know how.

Notes: I swear I meant to post more than 1 chap in Oct T^T Things just happened. I lived tho. SG got some updates tho! Love that for her. Anyways, to make it up to y'all, I'm queuing for Nov. I have two Chapters (including this one) ready to go, and I'm hoping to have at least 4 out, potentially up to 8 if I get REAL inspired and obsessed. But I have the plans all drawn up for 4. Also, I made a timeline for this fic! I know absolutely no one cares, but It's helped a lot, actually. If anyone is interested in it (Literally 1 person is all the validation I need) I'll post it! Dividers by @saradika

Warnings: She/Her Reader.

Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks

Additional Note: I'm always taking interaction requests. Just fyi

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an: Fun fact- The stuff Lino quotes is from my blog. Direct quotes, too. Same for the ss. They are abt Hyunjin, Felix, and Han, in that order.

Beloved Worm List <3: @thatgirlangelb , @hyeon-yi, @velvetmoonlght, @missvanjiii, @hanniemylovelyquokka, @vegetablesarefuntables, @scribblesnsketches05, @kkamismom12, @alexateurmom, @baribaaari, @tayla2351, @heart-trees @unicornwhisperer666, @aalexyuuuhm, @stilldontknowhoiam, @brbwritingfanfic,

Perma Tag List <3 : @mbioooo0000

[songsofadelaide]

Race Against the Sunset

cw/tw: Duke Fraldarius Felix x Princess reader, Azure Gleam route spoilers, no use of yn, childhood friends to lovers, family drama and trauma, long flashback, swordsmanship references, mentions of the deaths of loved ones, marriage of convenience turned loving marriage. wc: 16k (I am going to cry again) ୨୧ This fic will not use 'yn' and instead follow my usual naming convention. Please kindly see yourself out if you're uncomfortable with fics using placeholder names for the reader. I do not use 'yn' in any of my fics. I still use 'you'/second person pronouns and write with a generic (f) reader in mind. The name isn't mentioned often and is just for my preferences since I find it jarring to write 'yn' frequently. Thank you for understanding!

For a moment, he remembered that week you spent in their estate at Fraldarius territory many years ago. He recalled the singing of the young women employed in their estate's kitchen and how you sang along as you helped in meal preparation, even though you weren't supposed to be there because you were a guest. Those were hymns to the Goddess even he was unfamiliar with.

"Blessed are they who bask in the splendour of Gloriana's unreachable, empyrean domain!"

Felix had never been a pious child even from the beginning, even though the Kingdom of Faerghus' roots were so deeply intertwined with that of the Church of Seiros. Yet here was a girl who made him worship the very ground she walked on. 

The succession crisis between the two princes of House Blaiddyd was played out like a melodrama. Birth order meant little in the Kingdom, where a singular truth prevailed time and again: those born with Crests were destined for greatness, and the Crestless would have to settle for what would be handed to them. 

You were born to your parents on the fifth day of the Harpstring Moon in Imperial Year 1163, four months after the birth of your cousin, who would become the Crown Prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Dimitri's birth overshadowed yours, a fate your father believed you shared, given his position as a king who never became. 

Much to everyone's amazement, Prince Rufus doted on you immensely, so much that he seemed more human than the decrepit stand-in many thought him to be. Your father loved you dearly. How could he not? When you were born with the very thing he lacked, the blessed blood that made him so different from his younger brother, the sole reason he fell so short of becoming the king himself. Rufus cared not that you were born from a mistress mother. You were his blood— and his salvation. 

…But mistress was hardly the correct term to refer to your mother. She hailed from a cadet branch of House Charon and was a distant relative of the current head of the ancient house. That must explain the auspicious mixing of blood between the descendants of Blaiddyd and Charon, which resulted in you being born with a Minor Crest of Blaiddyd— the very same one your cousin possessed. 

When the plague swept through Faerghus, not only did it claim the life of the Kingdom's beloved Queen Consort, but your mother's as well, leaving your father and Grand Duchy household to care for you as you grew older. Rufus had no time to mourn his muse, and it was only after an exchange of condolences between the brothers that the king caught wind of the one thing that kept his older brother sane.  

King Lambert was only made aware of his niece's existence when she turned five years old, a time in which he also searched for appropriate companions for the crown prince. On your fifth birthday, your uncle sent you many an exquisite gift from the capital— a lovely dress the colour of Blaiddyd azure, a tailored coat made of the finest winter fox pelts, a box of delectable sweets from the city's best pastry shop, an ornamental dagger with a mindfully crafted leather hilt— a kind that fit your little hands perfectly— and a letter of invitation to Fhirdiad. While it was addressed to you, it was clear from the tone that it was meant to be read by your father, who only looked at the gifts in disdain. 

Rufus knew the truth behind the gifts and what you symbolised to the nobles of the Kingdom, especially those in the capital. Your existence was a threat to the current state of things and perhaps this invitation was Lambert's way of ascertaining his brother's allegiance to the Crown.

Yet he could not deny the truth of the matter, too. You were part of the Royal Family as much as he was… And the fact that your governess suggested a higher form of education for you only compounded his thoughts. 

"Papa, look! It's so beautiful!" 

Lifting his tired blue eyes from the letter sent by his younger brother, a smile lit his dire face when he saw you don the pristine white coat and twirl around at his feet, your sweet laughter of delight ringing in his ears. 

The coat was of exquisite quality, its paleness further highlighting the features you inherited from your mother— and it pulled at your father's heart so. Many thought him incapable of loving anyone other than himself, but it was clear from the way he tenderly spun you around as you danced that he cherished you. 

"And how beautiful you are, my little star." 

And there was no way that he would let you out of his sight, not even at the king's command.

"The Grand Duke of Itha, Prince Rufus Thierry Blaiddyd, and his daughter, Princess Imogene Aislinn Blaiddyd."

In Imperial Year 1168, Rufus was astounded by the fanfare and celebration that marked his daughter's first visit to the Kingdom capital, and among those who received you at the castle town were the king himself and the crown prince. He had his watchful eye on you as you gracefully curtsied in obeisance to your uncle the king and your cousin the crown prince. The look on Lambert's face softened as he bent down on his knee to receive your little gloved hand in his. "The honour is all ours, my little niece. I know you must be rather tired from your travels, but Dimitri insists on introducing you to his friends…"

"Oh! You're wearing the coat I chose for you! I'm so happy you like it!" Dimitri remarked with a smile and a twinkle in his blue eyes. His face was framed with the same golden hair as your father. "Did you… like our gifts for you?"

"Yes, I did! Even the little cakes were so delicious!" You beamed at the boy dressed in the same Blaiddyd azure as you were, happily recalling the afternoon you shared the said sweets with your father and your governess. The castle at Itha Plains had been your home all your short life, with your father, your governess, and the household staff the only people you've known so far…

"Come with me. I would like to introduce you to my friends," the boy said with an outstretched hand. You hesitated and turned to your father, who only gave you a short yet apprehensive nod of assent. 

"Very well, Your Highness. I—" You stated as you placed your gloved hand in his open palm, and he grasped you with a tremor that called your attention to his face once more. 

"You need not call me that, mine cousin. You and I are family. We are cousins— and you are the only one I have in the world."

Your astonished eyes met his wide blue ones, the weight of his statement still settling in your mind. Dimitri was your cousin, bound by the shared blood of your fathers, and just as he was the crown prince, you were a princess of this country, too. "Very well, Dimitri. I would very much like to meet these friends of yours."

"Such a pretty girl can only take after her mother. Caitlin must be pleased," Lambert remarked as he eyed the children's retreating figures. While you had a semblance of your father, it was your mother's soft features that stood out more when you first came face to face with your uncle. "It does my heart good to see you well, brother." 

Rufus was quiet in his place as he eyed the city alight with merriment. The plague that ravaged the country struck Fhirdiad at its heart, but here it was, beating once more, the castle town so full of life that you'd mistake it for another place or another time. 

"The change is marvellous, wouldn't you agree? All of this was possible with the help of the talented Court Mage…"

He wondered how Lambert's grief did not blind him to the fact that so much had to be done in Fhirdiad if he wished for it to be a dignified place worthy of its glory as the capital of the Kingdom. He had to admit that this was a feat he could not have achieved without losing his mind in the process. 

Rufus nodded at his younger brother, the two of them in their similar signature Blaiddyd azure regalia, yet still different sides of the same shining coin. "It is good to see you, brother."

There was a warmth in the king's face that unsettled his older brother, but it might have been the fact that Lambert was truly happy to host his niece and Rufus in Fhirdiad after many years. "You must tell me all about her. I doubt I'll have the time to speak with my niece myself now that she's with Dimitri. He was most excited to meet her…"

Dimitri's excitement was indeed obvious by the way he led you to his friends, most of whose names and stations you couldn't remember yet, but it was clear from the delighted looks on their faces that they were pleased to have finally met you, the Princess of Itha, and the crown prince's only known living cousin. 

But you heard the whispers as well— men who called you a "usurper"— and only understood the meaning of it all when you were reunited with your father later that day. Rufus did well to politely decline Lambert's later invitation to remain at the capital for the remainder of the week, citing your "homesickness" as the reason for your departure to Itha. 

He couldn't have you hearing those things. You were innocent… until he said otherwise. 

On the carriage ride back to your home, your father held your hand in his. "Did you enjoy your time at the capital, my little star?" 

You happily nodded your assent to his query. "Yes, papa! I had such a fun time with Dimitri and his friends! They were all so nice to me!"

A dark-haired boy was particularly awestruck by your presence, evidently surprised to see the resemblance between you and your cousin firsthand. The nameless boy shyly yet quickly stuffed his present into your small hands, and you held onto it for the rest of the day, the pretty wrapping paper crinkling in your grip. You were only able to ascertain what it was when the ribbons eventually came undone— a little decorative dagger with a blunt blade made of Mythril, the hilt delicately crafted with precious aquamarine stones.

"Will we come back again? To Fhirdiad? Dimitri said that I would always be welcome there… That we would always be welcome there. Because we are a family," you wondered aloud, the ornate dagger still in your hands. "I know that some of the people there hate me… but I would never take what isn't mine, papa. Madam Liadan told me that I shouldn't do it because it's bad… and the Goddess would punish me…"

Rufus was evidently surprised by your statement, which was far too forward for your age. He lamented the fact that he wasn't able to shield your ears from the mindless prattle of the Kingdom nobles under Lambert's file. 

Had he been the one… you would be his heir. The crown princess. He offered you no more words, but simply hoisted you on his lap and held you in his arms until you fell asleep, the exhaustion and excitement of the day finally settling in your little bones. You clung onto the gifted dagger until you arrived back at Itha, refusing to part ways with it even as your father tucked you into bed. 

That night, you dreamed of a dark-haired boy in aquamarine, his hazel eyes disappearing into his smile as he held out a gloved hand to you. 

Following your first meeting, Dimitri often requested your presence at the capital. The boy only spent a day with you but already considered you one of the most important people in his life. Rufus received countless letters of inquiry and invitation and eventually relented— allowing you to visit every once in a while, especially since it was at the crown prince's behest. 

Your visits to Fhirdiad were often short but memorable. While you spoke of the trivialities of your life in Itha, Dimitri often talked about how wonderful it would be to have your constant support and presence with him at the capital. It almost sounded like he was asking you to move there. 

"It's nice to visit every once in a while… But papa has stressed the importance of my presence at home. As your future Grand Duke of Itha, I still have much to learn, and as do you, as our future King," you told him from across your table, laden with a spread of sweet tea and pastries for your tea party for two that afternoon. "Speaking of which, where is Uncle Lambert? I have not seen him since this morning."

"Father is on a campaign further north," the young prince replied to your query. "In Sreng."

"I pray to the Goddess for his safety…" You said rather quietly. "Surely they did not send him there unprepared…"

"You need not worry. Father has the finest men in the Kingdom riding by his side," Dimitri smiled at you. "Even I am not troubled in the least bit. Those men are his closest friends."

Friends. Your memory was jogged. 

"That reminds me… When I first visited Fhirdiad, one of your friends presented me with this lovely dagger," you started, carefully pulling out the tiny ornamental blade from your floral embroidered satchel. "I never got around to asking his name. Your friend with the pretty black hair, I mean."

Dimitri inspected the dagger and easily recognised who it was from by the colour of the gemstones that dotted the hilt. "You must be talking about Felix. He is the second son of Rodrigue, who serves as my father's right hand at present."

"Felix…" 

"If you'd like, mine cousin, I can ask Felix to come here as well on your next visit," Dimitri stated as he returned the dagger to you. "That way, you can thank him for his present."

"I would like that!"

"Your Highness," one of the house's older female servants arrived at the garden where your tea party was being held and gave a quick bow to your cousin. "Your weapons instructor is here. It is time for your lessons."

"Is that so?" Said the boy with a frown. "I'm afraid we'll have to cut our tea time short…"

"Weapons instructor? You mean you study how to use weapons?" You asked rather curiously. 

"Yes. I will have to learn how to properly wield Areadbhar, the Hero's Relic entrusted to our family, though I am still not allowed to hold it, of course…" he replied, catching the curious yet crestfallen expression on your face. "You are to be the Grand Duke of Itha in the future. I believe you should at least know the basics of wielding a weapon. Would you… like to come with me, mine cousin?" 

Dimitri saw the shine of wonder that lit your eyes this time, your excitement clearly uncontainable as you leaped off your chair. "Oh, can I really?!" 

"Of course you can. I will have someone prepare a change of clothes for you," he said with the same warm smile as he beckoned the elderly servant to do as he had told. "But I must warn you. Gustave is a strict teacher. Just as he does not take it easy on me, he will not take it easy on you, too."

And not only was he strict, but an incredibly effective teacher. Despite his apprehension, Gustave was able to drill down the first principles of swordsmanship into you, even as you struggled in the lengthy trousers lent to you by your cousin. He sensed the same potent strength within you so akin to the king— and the crown prince… the blessedness of your blood. 

The power of a Crest. 

The feel of a sword was so different from holding but a mere dagger. You felt its weight in its entirety, dragging your shoulders down unless you put your back into lifting it. As you practised your swings with a blunted iron sword, Dimitri held an iron lance in his slightly larger hands, watching you sweat at your diligent efforts.

"Why did you teach her the sword, Gustave? Aren't axes and lances your specialty?" 

"The sword is easy to teach to a beginner, Your Highness. It seems she has taken a shine to it, too," the older man stated, his tired blue eyes drawn to the corner where you stood, cutting through the air with the dull weapon he chose for you. "I do not want to cause any trouble by teaching her the lance. The princess, she… She must not get the idea that she, too, can wield your family's Hero's Relic. Not only is it a weapon of old, it is a symbol of your sovereignty. She must never aspire to even just hold it in her hands." 

As your visits to the capital grew more frequent, the time you spent with your father grew less. Rufus always made time for you whenever you asked, but it was clear that he was busy with the affairs of Itha and many other discussions that required his attention more and more. Contrary to your initial thought that he would get angry at the swordsmanship lessons you had with Gustave at Fhirdiad, your father was amazed at your skill and the progress you have made so far. 

In fact, Rufus was so pleased with your efforts that he purchased a rapier of excellent quality for you. You and Dimitri only admired it from inside its sheath and leather case as you continued your lessons with the red-haired knight, who marvelled at your shared strength and skill, which was clearly a family trait. 

Gustave no longer looked at you with unease and trepidation whenever he instructed you but with a newfound admiration, especially on the rare occasions when he permitted you and the prince to spar against each other. You declared outright, after all, that you wielded your blade in the service of your king and your crown prince. 

The skirmish between the two young royals would often draw the attention of many knights and squires in the training grounds, who watched in awe at the sight of your shared exerted effort. Many have learned to watch out for stray sparks and splinters whenever your weapons broke apart from yours and the crown prince's sheer strength.

Dimitri was a fierce opponent even at your young age. He never went easy on you but did his best to match your ferocity. You possessed similar Crests which meant you stood on equal ground, even though you were a girl. You didn't see any shame in losing to each other, either, but often considered each loss a learning curve. Your hands— now callused after how many moons of arduous training with the blade— no longer shook as your training sword clashed against your cousin's training lance. 

It was during that sparring match that you encountered the boy who gifted you the aquamarine dagger once more, his present now one of your most prized possessions. 

"So the rumours were true. You have been training the Princess of Itha as well, Sir Gustave. I can only imagine the number of weapons they've already broken," said an older boy with the same long and dark hair as Felix. He eyed the bout between the royal cousins and was both amazed and troubled at how well you could hold yourself against the prince. "It seems His Highness has found himself a stimulating training partner. That saves me some of the exhaustion, at least."

"Well met, Glenn. The princess has proven to be a keen student herself," the older knight stated as he acknowledged the presence of the two brothers. "She will be an asset to the Kingdom in time of need." 

An asset is what many wished you'd be, but there was no denying the disquieting possibility that you may be used against the Royal Family— even though you were part of it, too. 

"Well, here she is, Felix. A far cry from when you last saw her, huh?" The older boy, Glenn, chuckled as he placed a hand on his younger brother's head of dark hair. "You should join them. I'm sure Sir Gustave wouldn't mind another head to look after."

"You're free to join them, Felix. I know you've sparred with His Highness before, but I must warn you that the princess is not someone to be underestimated," Gustave said as he walked over to the centre of the castle training ground to call for a truce between the sparring cousins. 

Felix stood there, his warm hazel eyes following the length of the prince's spear as its blunt pointed end met with the dull edge of your training blade. Dimitri lowered his weapon as his blue eyes fell to your face, a look of concern washing over him when he saw a small scratch on your cheek. He quickly reached out to cup your grazed cheek, but you only laughed as you gently swatted his hand away.

"Are you hurt anywhere else? I must have not noticed…" 

"I'm fine, Dimitri! I swear!"  

It was only when Gustave gestured towards the direction of the spectating young noble that you noticed him, another smile lighting up your face as you and your cousin made your approach. 

"Felix! It's good to see you!" Said Dimitri as he held you by your hand. "My cousin had been looking forward to seeing you again."

"Your Highness," came Felix's rather distant and embarrassed greeting to his friend. He echoed the same sentiment as he finally came face to face with you this time. "Your Highness."

"H-Hello," came your nervous salutation. "I-I wanted to say thank you f-for your present when we first met."

"You're welcome, Your Hig—" 

"You can call me by my name," you stated a bit more confidently this time. "A-Are you here because Dimitri said I wanted to see you again?" 

"I— I am, my lady," the dark-haired boy sputtered as he shifted his gaze from you to the prince, who had a pleased smile on his face that slowly shifted into a chuckle. 

"She said she did not need such formality, Felix. Just as you and I are friends, so are the two of you now," said Dimitri as he reached for his friend's gloved hand. He then brought your hand forward and engaged in a three-way handshake. "Now then, shall we call it a day? I believe you and Felix have a lot of catching up to do." 

"W-We do?" Came your sheepish query. A soft laugh left your lips as you placed a warm hand on the back of your neck. "Well, if… If Felix i—"  

"A-Actually, I would like to c…" Felix stepped up with a more determined expression on his face. "I would like to challenge you to a sparring match, Princess." 

"I—"

"I-If you're amenable to that, of course!" 

"I'd like that very much! I'm sure Dimitri is bored stiff having to spar with me all the time."

"I'm pretty sure you're talking about yourself," the young prince said with a smile and a small sigh of defeat. "Well then, carry on, my dear cousin. If Felix is here, then I'm certain Glenn is as well. He shall be my training partner."

Dimitri approached Gustave and gestured in your direction, clearly advising the older knight of your intention to spar with the second son of House Fraldarius. You adjusted your training clothes and trousers, picked up your sword once more and took a deep breath. 

From your lessons with your governess, you knew that House Fraldarius is a family of warriors. Rodrigue earned his title as the Shield of Faerghus for defending the king in their last military excursion to Sreng. His eldest son, Glenn, was a knight in the making and Dimitri's preferred training partner, seeing as the older boy could keep up with the prince's stamina. 

It was clear from his movements that Felix had the build and stride of a child at ease in battle. Such was their family's claim to success, apart from the fact that they, too, were the progeny of one of the Ten Elites. Your opponent shed his winter coat, a striking aquamarine blue with a collar made of the same fine winter fox pelts his family could afford. In his hands was a similar training sword, and in his eyes was a spark— an obvious exhilaration at having to do battle with an unfamiliar adversary. 

"I won't go easy on you just because you're a princess," he said as he raised his blade and assumed his battle stance. "Just because you're my friend."

His statement was bold yet bright, compelling you to step up to the occasion with the same excitement filling your chest up to your throat. You steadied your feet and raised your blade in response to his declaration. "I welcome the challenge! Come at me, then!"

In Imperial Year 1171, the Saintess, Cornelia, welcomed an Imperial lady to her home, and the King was so besotted by her that he married her in the shadows. Lady Patricia was a kind woman who raised the prince as her own, and yet… There was a certain sadness to her that you couldn't quite put a finger on. It was during one of your visits to Fhirdiad that you were introduced to each other, and the older woman warmed to the idea of having you around as her company.  

That same year, a girl from the Empire arrived in Fhirdiad, too— and there were whispers about her being a princess, too. You saw the delight that lit your cousin's face whenever he spent time with her, a girl whose air of precocious maturity matched the rumoured title she held. The girl, who simply introduced herself as El, taught you and Dimitri how to dance, and took pleasure in gently commanding your movements. 

"You need to learn how to dance, too, Immie. You're a princess, after all!" 

The young prince could only laugh and smile to himself whenever you blundered a step as El's partner. He cherished this memory— of you and him dancing with the girl who wore Adrestian crimson amid the pale blue cold of Faerghus.

There was a sadness in her you couldn't quite comprehend as well, so akin and similar to that of your new aunt. You tried your best to make them feel welcome in the capital, Dimitri even more so, but you both lamented being unable to do anything to ease the burden of their loneliness. 

You could relate to them in a way, especially since you've been seeing your father less and less. The day you last saw him was on the annual New Year's hunt at the Itha Plains, which did not go as planned since Rufus was inebriated from the festivities the previous night. He, along with his counsel and companions, most of whom were family members of the Kingdom's western lords, rode deep into the thicket in the heart of the plains, closely followed by you and your attendants on horseback. 

While it didn't please you to see your father drunk beyond his wits, the very thing you couldn't stand back then was the sight of several noble-born women flocking around him. They lauded his missed strikes, the sound of their shrill voices nothing but grating to your ears. And it annoyed you even more that he relished the attention.

You took the minibow you were equipped with and released a single arrow that struck a startled forest fox, much to the surprise of your father and his counsel and companions. 

"Th… The first ki—" 

You did not even wait for the knight to finish his declaration and rode towards your father with an indignant expression before lowering your head in exaggerated, mock reverence. 

"May you have a blessed and bountiful hunt, Grand Duke," you coldly stated before riding off to the castle, leaving him behind with the rest of his men. You made your way to Fhirdiad not long after, not a single response from your father even after you sent word that you arrived there safely. 

Part of you wanted to return home to Itha to see him. To reconcile with him. But part of you also wanted him to suffer in silence. 

Your seemingly short visits to the capital soon turned into moons. And before you knew it, you were celebrating your birthday with your cousin's family rather than returning home to Itha. Your uncle and aunt were happy to have you there with them, but Lambert understood that you longed for your father, too, though your pride wouldn't allow you to admit it. 

The king presented you with many gifts from his side of the family, but there was one Dimitri did not recognise as theirs— another leather case that contained yet another sheathed blade. "This is from your father. I believe he also has a letter for you."

It was another exquisite sword for you, the Crest of Blaiddyd engraved onto its silver blade. Along with it came a thick fur scarf made of the striking scarlet pelt of forest foxes native to the Itha Plains. You tried to receive the presents without tearing up and only read your father's message in the silence and solitude of your bedchambers after all the festivities celebrated in your name.  

"Happiest Birthday, my little star.  May you use this blade to strike forth and cut a path to your destiny, which I am hard at work to see come to fruition.    Papa misses you so." 

The letter was brief and had little detail, but you could tell from the erratic handwriting that your father was grief-stricken in his attempt at reaching out to you. 

He would have to wait a bit longer. 

The following day was your birthday celebration with your friends, all of whom piled presents upon presents in your arms once more. Despite being Dimitri's friends originally, they welcomed you into the fold as part of their close-knit circle. Sylvain, the heir of House Gautier, gifted you with a classical board game you used to play with your father, while Ingrid, the daughter of Count Galatea, presented you with a pair of fine leather riding boots. 

This year, Felix gifted you yet another dagger, but this time was different, for he had given you a functioning toothed knife rather than another ornamental trinket. 

"The Itha Plains is one of the best hunting grounds in the Kingdom, and perhaps all of Fodlan. As its princess, you're bound to host hunts there sooner or later. I can only hope that this will serve you well," he stated, handing his present to you with a short bow. "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you, Felix. And to everyone, too, for all your lovely presents! While all of these are so precious to me, the mere fact that you're here to celebrate this day with me warms my heart," you beamed at your circle of friends as they sat across from you, your table in the castle garden filled with sweet and savoury snacks and flowering tea. "I'll be going home tomorrow. As always, I'll carry my time here in my heart… And I hope to be back soon. For now, I have to speak to my father."

"Ah, that reminds me. Felix mentioned earlier that he can accompany you on your way back to Itha before he heads back to Fraldarius," Dimitri stated as he lifted his head from his cup of tea. "Have you not told her yet, Felix?"

"How thoughtful of you, Felix. Though I must tell you now that I have no intention of riding by carriage," you replied to your cousin's statement with a smile before eventually turning towards the dark-haired boy. "I will go on horseback, giving me the perfect opportunity to break in these lovely boots Ingrid got for me."

"And that gives us the perfect opportunity to race, too, Princess," Felix said with a small snort of derision. "That is if you're not against getting those new boots dirty, of course."

"Wanna make a bet while we're at it, too?" You said with a laugh. "The loser will do whatever it is the winner wants."

"Deal."

Dimitri could only shake his head in defeat as he listened to your thoughtless wager. By nightfall, he came to visit your bedchambers one last time before you went your way home. He found you packing your belongings, among those the ornate aquamarine dagger Felix first gifted you years ago. It sat on your bedside table on a special wooden stand carved by one of Grand Duchy's household staff. 

You placed the toothed dagger next to the jewelled one and smiled to yourself. "I have so many knives and swords."

"It is a thoughtful gift. I don't know if this has been taught to you, but we from the Kingdom consider such weapons as tools of destiny. I believe Felix wishes for you to cut open a path forward for yourself…" 

For an object to hold such weight… 

"And though it might be purely ornamental, its message doesn't really change," Dimitri stated as he sat down next to you on the edge of your bed. "You are the Princess of Itha, but if there is anything else you wish to be, you… You have only to tell me. So we can discuss it."

"Well, I…" You started, a sheepish grin now on your face. "It might sound like a girlish dream, a-and maybe it is to you, Dimitri, but I…" 

You beckoned him to lean down so that you could whisper your tender dream in his ear. A gentle laugh left his lips as he nodded to himself. "I think we can do something about that."

"But I will continue doing my best… so that he'll like me for who I am."

"I'm pretty sure he already likes you as much, my dearest cousin."

By daybreak the following morning, a retinue from the Grand Duchy Army was prepared to receive you, and they were surprised to see that you'd already mounted your horse, opting away from the carriage they readied for you. 

Riding beside you was the second son of House Fraldarius, his dark hair already tousled by the calm morning breeze. Several Fraldarius soldiers tasked with his protection shuffled into your retinue's line. 

"We'll race when we catch sight of Itha Castle," you declared as you gave your steed a gentle kick, prompting it forward. "For now, we have all the time in the world to talk, Felix. Have you thought of a prize if you win?"

"I have," came the boy's silent but confident response. 

"I suppose I should think of one now, then."

"We have all the time in the world," Felix echoed your sentiment with a small smile on his face. "Consider it carefully, Princess."

From a view of a map, the Itha Plains was but a stone's throw away from Fhirdiad, but travel to and from still took at least half a day. The boy riding next to you asked you questions about your early childhood— from before you knew him— and even went so far as to ask you about your intentions in the future. 

"I know that many still think I am a usurper… And that no matter how much time I spend in the capital, they will still look at me like I would intentionally cause a succession crisis," you said with a defeated chuckle, but not before raising your eyes to meet his gaze, your vision unclouded and clear of any hint of deception. "I've said it before and I will say it again— I've no intention of taking what isn't mine. When the time comes and if the need ever arises, I will fight for the Kingdom as Dimitri's sword. I've no intention of being Queen." 

"That's reassuring to hear." 

"I'm glad to hear you think that, our future Duke Fraldarius."

By the time the afternoon sun had made its way up in the sky, you and Felix had already spoken about nearly everything you could— and you already spotted your castle's first turret from across the horizon. 

"Race you," you declared to him, gathering your horse's reins before giving it a small yet impactful smack on its behind. Your steed picked up its pace as the path towards the castle slowly tapered upward. While you were sure you had a headstart, you caught a flash of aquamarine in the corner of your eye. Your horses were sprinting alongside each other at what seemed to be equal speeds, but you could only laugh out loud as Felix and his steed narrowly edged you out and arrived at the castle courtyard mere seconds before you could. 

"Welcome home, Princess," the dark-haired boy stated with a small smirk on his fine face. "Expect to see me again soon." 

"I eagerly await that day, Felix," you said with a smile and a nod. "Thank you for taking the time to accompany me back to Itha. Please take care on your way home."

"Dearest ■

How fare you, my dearest cousin? Last I heard from you, you arrived at Itha safe and sound. It does my heart well to know that you made it back home safely.

I only heard from Rodrigue the other day that you spent about a week in Fraldarius at Felix's request. I thought your loss would teach you not to make such ill-considered gambles in the future, but it seems you enjoyed your time there with Felix and his family… Are you perhaps grateful for that loss? It sounded like a win either way.

I am more surprised at how you and Felix managed to convince Uncle Rufus to permit you to go on that excursion. The old man watches over you like a hawk, as far as I know. Regardless, I hope you had fun. 

El says she misses you. I do, too. 

I hope to see you again soon. Please tell me all about your trip to Fraldarius. I am pleased to hear that you and Felix are getting along so well. 

Sincerely yours, 

Dee."

"Dearest Dee,

How fare you, my dearest cousin? I have been well and I hope you are, too. I apologise for my lack of communication with you lately… and for the lack of visits to Fhirdiad. Papa and I had a lot of catching up to do. 

Let us just say we have reconciled and leave it at that. Papa apologised for his mindless actions the last we met and I apologised for my impetuousness. 

Can I ask you how you felt when Uncle Lambert remarried? I am not too keen on the idea, but I suppose papa is still a man… I just wished he would choose his companions wisely.  

And as you already know, I spent quite a vacation at the dukedom. It was not so much a vacation, really, but more of a training camp. From sun up to sun down, Felix and I have done nothing but spar, hunt, and maintain weapons. Lord Rodrigue almost sent me home when Felix made out with their family's Hero's Relic without permission. It's a terrifying thing, isn't it? A Hero's Relic. The shield almost seemed alive and breathing to me. I shudder at the thought of having to wield something so… grotesque. But you've been training for that your whole life. 

I miss El terribly, too. And you, too, of course. 

I'll tell you all about my trip to Fraldarius when I visit Fhirdiad again soon. For now, stay warm and stay safe.

Yours truly,

 ■"

In Imperial Year 1176, your uncle the king perished in the Tragedy of Duscur, along with many other knights and vassals of the Kingdom. Duke Fraldarius lost his son Glenn in the clash, too, and you couldn't shake the thought that something more nefarious occurred in what should have been a peaceful diplomatic mission. 

And even as you pleaded in tears to be allowed to go to Fhirdiad to see your cousin, who had just lost his own father, Rufus did not permit you to go. 

"The Grand Duke is right, Princess. There is no need for you to rush," the Saintess, Cornelia, whom your father had taken as one of his closest companions in more recent times, also dissuaded you from heading to the capital. She spoke of the right moment to make your appearance, which was strange since you wanted nothing but to be by Dimitri's side at that time. 

…Something about your father's calmness about the catastrophe unnerved you. His reaction was almost inhuman, but you didn't want to give it too much thought. He could have been shocked, for all you knew…

By the time you were finally allowed to visit Fhirdiad, your father's regency had been finalised, and the nobles of the capital and the castle's household only seemed to look at you with even more contempt. You did not see much of your cousin even though you remained in there for his sake. The lords loyal to the late king evidently did not want you around the crown prince, either. 

You were almost violently rebuffed that one time you tried to help Dimitri when he was having a panic attack. His unfamiliar guardian from a foreign land shoved you away and spoke to you in broken sentences— both in the language of Fodlan and Duscur. It was only when your cousin placed a reassuring hand on the imposing boy's shoulder and explained to him who you were that he was able to quiet down.

"She is my cousin, Dedue. The only one I have in the world."

Dimitri, who was the sole survivor of the tragedy, was inconsolable for the first few moons after the horrific incident, and even you could not pick up your sword to train without being reminded— without imagining the hellscape he endured and survived— and the eerie feeling that clawed at your chest when you recalled your father's unbothered expression when he received the news of his brother's death. 

Whispers of your father's involvement in your uncle's death did not help your reputation in the capital, either, and the fact that Rufus did little to disengage himself from the rumours only compounded the frigid treatment you've been receiving from the nobles and the castle staff. 

The only ally you ever had was gone, too, driven away by his shame. Everyone had the same response when you asked about Gustave's whereabouts— "He's gone."

At Felix's behest, you were present with House Fraldarius when they held a memorial for Glenn, a true knight of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, or so Rodrigue said… But not even your soothing touch could quell Felix's fist, his entire body seizing in a tempered rage he tried his best to contain. He was not the only one who lost a loved one, after all. And yet, he couldn't stomach how his father glazed over his eldest son's death. No words of embellishment will take away the fact that Glenn was killed horrifically in the Tragedy of Duscur. Felix would resent his father for that.

It was Rodrigue who implored you to return to Itha while Dimitri gathered his bearings. He knew of the grievous treatment you endured in the capital, even more so now that Rufus preoccupied himself with the Saintess's company more than anyone else's.  

"His Highness will certainly ask for you once he has figured everything out, Princess. Return home for now. I'm certain you're tired of all the suspicion yourself."

And you did so, only because it was true that you could no longer abide by the royal household's disdain for you. You did not know that it would take Dimitri four years to reach out to you again, the boy you knew changed beyond recognition. 

In Imperial Year 1178, Dimitri, the Crown Prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and Felix, a knight in the making and the Heir of House Fraldarius, were tasked with suppressing an insurrection in Western Faerghus. Many of the knights who accompanied them attested to seeing the prince roll over the rebels with maniacal bloodlust.  

You were half-certain Felix might have developed the same grisly instinct, but you were relieved to find out that he was blatantly disgusted by the boar's unhinged behaviour. The incident prompted him to step away from his knightly vows, his sole intention now was to become a swordsman of unparalleled skill. 

You spent the past few years handling the affairs of Itha as the acting Grand Duke. As the regent, Rufus spent his days holed up in Fhirdiad under the thrall of the Saintess, Cornelia. He did not bother to manage the Kingdom, let alone reach out to his only daughter. 

…Though you knew for a fact that you may not be your father's only child now. 

You received no word at all from Dimitri, either, and you could only assume that he was busy with his responsibilities and studies as the crown prince. 

Or maybe he wanted nothing to do with you, either. 

Still, you handled the affairs of your home with all the knowledge and grace you possessed thus far. You often received wise counsel from the Head of House Gaspard, Lord Lonato, who once served as your father's retainer in their youth.

"Since it is now the Horsebow Moon, I suppose we should open a portion of the hunting grounds to the public…" You stated as you browsed through the stack of documents piling up on the desk in your father's office, which you have used as your own these last few years. "Oh, and the merchants and craftsmen from the Leicester Alliance should be accompanied by members of the plains' official hunting guilds. Many are unfamiliar with just how dangerous the grounds can be…"

Your elderly governess, Madam Liadan, now stood as your sole attendant and counsel while you were acting in an official capacity as the Grand Duke of Itha. She took pride in your expertise and manner of leadership as you steered your hometown in a direction that would benefit its people. 

"A word, Your Grace," came a knock outside the den. "Lord Felix of House Fraldarius has requested an audience with you."

"…Felix?"

True enough, your dearest childhood friend found his way to your home with only a handful of guards. His dark hair was grown out, now kept in a messy bun. His once warm hazel eyes stared down at you with a fierce coldness as he refused to dismount his horse, riding around you and your courtyard as you came face to face with him after how many years. 

"Ride with me, Princess," he stated with a small scoff. "Or are you content playing house and assuming a title that isn't even yours yet?"

"I—"

"We don't have to race this time," he said. "Just talk."

"Call for a stableboy to fetch Aureolin for me," you motioned to one of the household staff present to receive the heir of House Fraldarius. "And have one of the servants fetch my sword, the one from my father. I'm certain the heir of House Fraldarius did not just come here for a horse ride. Or to just talk."

"We shall have an attendant f—" Madam Liadan stated, only for you to cut her off with a mere wave of your hand. 

"There is no need for that, Madam Liadan," you said with a smile that did not reach your eyes. "Lord Felix is my friend. He and I have much to talk about, none of which is any of your business."

You heard a faint chuckle leave the said friend's lips as he steered his mount to the castle gates once more. 

"Receive his good men instead, please. Give them food and drink and allow their horses to graze," you instructed the household staff as you saddled and mounted your steed, Aureolin. "Shall we be off then, Felix?"

Your ride was quiet but meaningful, and it allowed you to rest your mind from all the noise of having to manage your household and lands. Felix noticed the pleased yet pensive expression on your face as he steadied the pace of his horse to match yours. He only spoke once you were in the heart of the plains, far from your meddling governess and the prying eyes of your father's loyal people. 

"Before everything else…" 

"Did you think I'd shirk my training just because I've been busy with paperwork, Felix?" You said with a low laugh as you swiftly dismounted Aureolin and unsheathed your sword. "Come. It's been a while since I had a worthwhile sparring partner."

The sounds of the grass in the plains crunching under your boots and the steel of your swords clashing quickly dissipated in the air, the open field unable to contain even your heavy breathing and heaving as you steadily held against your opponent. 

"Well, I'm glad all of that bureaucracy didn't dull your skill," Felix stated with a smirk and a small grunt as he parried your blow. Your bladework in your youth was wild and untamed, but your hands were more steady now, your strength measured and concentrated in a way that matched his own. "This cursed strength, though—!"

"You aren't so bad yourself," you said with a huff and a laugh. "Let's put our back into this, Felix!"

For a moment, he remembered that week you spent in their estate at Fraldarius territory many years ago. He recalled the singing of the young women employed in their estate's kitchen and how you sang along as you helped in meal preparation, even though you weren't supposed to be there because you were a guest. Those were hymns to the Goddess even he was unfamiliar with.

"Blessed are they who bask in the splendour of Gloriana's unreachable, empyrean domain!"

Felix had never been a pious child even from the beginning, even though the Kingdom of Faerghus' roots were so deeply intertwined with that of the Church of Seiros. Yet here was a girl who made him worship the very ground she walked on. 

Here was his Gloriana, her sword arm unmatched and her skill unparalleled. 

Not that he would ever admit it.  

It was only after you both broke a sweat that you called in a draw. You sat next to each other on the grass, knees and elbows brushing as you each wiped your swords clean with your cloaks, like when you were children.

There was only the faint sound of a calm breeze and the gentle swaying of the grass and weeds as you worked up the blade of your sword. You ran your thumb over the engraving of the Crest of Blaiddyd before eventually asking, "How is Dimitri?"

"Here," Felix stated, further slicing through the silence that enveloped you. He pulled out a single sealed letter from the inner pocket of his cloak and handed it to you. "The boar… has been trying to reach you for the last four years. Did none of his letters ever reach you?"

Letters? From Dimitri? 

You shook your head. "No. Not at all…"

He sighed. "Figures. He said he sent you countless letters, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was your father's doing." 

"My father?"

"Are you so out of touch with reality that you're in denial about what's going on in the capital? The boar no longer has allies there," he scoffed at your ignorance. "I'm not going to sugarcoat things for you just because he's your father. He's doing a terrible job as the regent and if you're going to pretend to be blind to that fact, then you're just as terrible as he is." 

"Felix… My father hasn't reached out to me ever since he assumed the regency of the Kingdom. Ever since Lord Rodrigue urged me to return to Itha four years ago. I wrote him letters but received nothing in return," you stated with furrowed brows after hearing everything for the first time. "And Lord Rodrigue told me that Dimitri would call for me once he's figured things out. The last I heard about him was after the Western Kingdom rebellion. You were there with him. He… must have figured things out by then, but…"

You pursed your lips as you held the unopened letter in your hands. "Part of me thought he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Many of the nobles of the capital have made it clear that they hold nothing but disdain for me, after all."

"That's not true. The boar could never hate you."

"I feel so foolish," you said, swallowing a sob before it could escape your lips. "I should have stayed there with him."

Felix reached out and wiped away your tears with a callused finger. "No use crying over that now. And trust me— the boar— Dimitri doesn't hate you. He wouldn't have bothered with that letter if he did." 

"Dearest ■

How fare you, my dearest cousin? It certainly has been a while. I can only assume that my previous letters never got to you. You would write to me as soon as you received one, after all. How can I be so sure? Because that is how we've always been. You are my only cousin in the world, the closest thing I have to a sister. You are a friend I know I can trust my life with, regardless of what other people think. 

I've been hearing much about your good work at Itha. Many claim that your political acumen is just as good as your father's, but we can do more about that. I know things must have been terribly lonely for you, yet you handled everything with ease and grace. 

I am writing to you once more to let you know that I intend to enroll in the Officers Academy at Garreg Mach next year. Many of our old friends, including Felix, will be attending as well, and nothing would give me greater joy than being reunited with you— and seeing you amongst the rest of the members of the Blue Lions House. 

Believe it or not, Uncle Rufus and I have spoken about your enrollment, too. He did not say much about it but only agreed, which was all the more surprising given that he hasn't spoken to you much these past few years. I would know since he kept no one else close to him but the Saintess. 

I hope you are taking care of yourself and I truly hope to see you again soon. And maybe we can discuss some of the things that happened back then.

Sincerely yours, 

Dee.

PS: Let us celebrate all the birthdays we missed out on because we were apart."

In Imperial Year 1180, you joined the Officers Academy at the same time as all of the other noble children of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, forming the Blue Lions House under Dimitri's leadership. It was there you were reunited with your cousin and childhood friends and heard the truth about his way of life these last four years— and why his letters never reached you.

You didn't want to believe it at first, but every detail made sense. The Tragedy of Duscur, the death of your uncle, the Western Kingdom uprising, and Dimitri's solitary confinement in his own home… Everything pointed to your father and his obsession with possessing the throne that was never meant for him.

"I'm sorry, Dimitri… All the signs were there in front of me, but I never… I never…" You said, your voice cracking as you sat across your cousin, the tea and sweets no longer appetising and inviting after everything you heard from him. And Dedue, who wanted nothing more but to trust you after everything your father has done. He did not believe in blaming children for their father's mistakes, but you had a mountain of doubt to climb and overcome if he and the rest of the house were to trust you completely.

"It is not you who has to apologise," Dedue stated. "His Highness said before that he trusted you with his life. If you are still that person, then you must prove it with your actions."

"I don't care if it's not my fault, either," you sobbed into your hands this time. "I'll spend the rest of my life atoning for what he's done, I swear…"

It was only after you calmed down and had your tea that Felix approached you, a dour expression on his face as he spoke directly to you, ignoring your companions. "Are you finally done with your whining? Spar with me, Princess."

"Spare me, Felix. I'm too spent to even think about picking up my sword. The monastery is huge and the academic year has just started. I'm sure there are many skilled people just as eager to test their mettle against an unknown quantity…" You replied with a hand on your temple. 

"I'll only be warming up with you," the dark-haired young man said with a scoff and a shrug. "You're right, after all. There won't be a lack of people to spar with here."

"Did you just call me a warm-up session, Felix?" You quirked an eyebrow at him. "You know what? I'll have at you. I'm angry and need a way to blow off some steam, anyway."

"Are you calling me a cooldown session, Princess?" He snorted. "On second thought, it's good that you're angry. That means you won't hold back." 

While the peaceful school days gave you a sense of normalcy, those days did not last as long as everyone initially thought. Your latest mission saw the rescue of Baron Ochs's missing daughter Monica, who was found by your new mercenary friend in the bandits' hideout. Her reappearance opened a can of worms that needed to be cleaned out. Following the disappearance of the librarian Tomas, trouble and turmoil brewed in all three cornerstones of Fodlan simultaneously, like a masked puppeteer masterfully pulling strings— and everyone else along with it.

And unsettling as it was, the Blue Lions could only press forward into the truth you long sought, about who was truly running the show in Fhirdiad. 

But your enrollment was swiftly withdrawn following the dangerous revelation about the truth of the identity of the librarian Tomas. And though you protested, everything fell on your father's deaf ears. 

"He is right to be concerned about you, mine cousin," Dimitri told you as you shared a meal during what was supposed to be your last day of schooling. "And it would be wise not to anger him. That way, you can still convince him to return when the issue has died out." 

"But I don't want to go home," you said with a little grumble, absentmindedly poking your food with your fork. "Not after we've only reunited…"

"Scared of missing out on all the fun?" Felix sneered at you, to which you responded by stabbing the remaining teppanyaki in his place and scarfing it down whole. "Wh—! Hey!" 

You reluctantly parted ways with Dimitri and Felix and the rest of the Blue Lions House by order of the regent, your father. Ahead of your trek back home to Itha, you made a quick and unexpected detour to the Kingdom to see how he had been doing. 

"Welcome home, Your Highness!" 

You were welcomed by new Royal staff, all of whom took orders from the regent. Among those who received you at the castle town was a lord you were unfamiliar with by name, but you remembered him as one of your father's companions from the New Year's hunt.  

"Have you been well, Your Highness? Allow me to take you to His Grace." 

"Oh, thank you, uh…" 

"Viscount Kleiman at your service, Princess," the older man gave you a quick bow. "You would do well to remember my name and my face, especially in this coming era." 

This coming era?

You tried not to pay too much mind to the viscount's words and simply focused on who you came there for. "Has my father been well?"

"Perhaps you should see for yourself, Your Highness. I'm certain your presence will lift his spirits."

A strange chill danced up your spine as you were led to the former king's bedchambers, where Rufus paced and lounged these past few days. 

"Papa?" You called out to him as the aged wooden doors harshly creaked open, as though they hadn't been for quite some time. 

"Is that you, my little star?" 

Your father looked worn out, and it was evident from the rubbish that littered the room that he accepted no other company apart from the Saintess, Cornelia, who closely stood next to him. 

"Have you been well, papa? Oh, it's been so long…" You said, your voice cracking from both the joy and despair you felt as you stepped into your father's space. He was crowned with an unfamiliar circlet of precious blue steel, and the dark circles under his eyes made him look even more ragged and unhewn. He could only grasp your wrists in place as you lifted your hands to hold his face, your thumbs tenderly running over his cold cheeks. 

"His Highness h—" Cornelia started, only for you to shoot her a look that could have killed if only possible.

"With all due respect, Saintess. I wasn't talking to you." 

"How lovely you've grown, my little star," Rufus managed a small smile. It was his turn to gently hold your face in his freezing hands, which you tried not to notice. "Fret not. We won't be apart for long. You'll return to me once everything has been settled."

"What do you mean, papa? What will you do? What's going to happen?"

He did not answer your questions but only pressed a soft yet cold kiss on your forehead, the kind you were so used to receiving when you were a child. 

When it was just you and him.  

"Return to Itha, my little star. Stay there until I send for you," he stated as he turned away from you. "Go."

"But papa—!" You tried to reach for him, only to be rebuffed by the Saintess in crimson, barring you from approaching your father once more. 

"His Highness needs his rest, sweet princess. But worry not. It won't be too long until you remain here for good. This is your home, after all."

"The Itha Plains is our home, Saintess. You would do well to remember that."

"The Grand Duke has fought tooth and nail for his house's future. Your future, if we are being more specific, Princess."

The same eerie chill swept up your spine once more as you locked stares with the green-eyed mage. Still, you showed no hint of trepidation as you approached her. "I did not wish for him to fight for me. I wish for nothing but to spend time with my father, not the regent. And once Dimitri is crowned king, he and I will return to our home."

Cornelia smiled at you, her eyes void of emotion but her voice was still saccharine and sultry. It was no wonder your father was so enthralled by her. "Of course, Princess. Believe what you will."

The days blurred altogether as you resumed your management of Itha. You expected your father to send for you sometime soon, but what broke your routine was a lone Kingdom soldier allied with the Crown Prince, riding past your castle security with haste. 

"I have an urgent message for Her Highness, the Princess of Itha! His Highness and his counsel have sent for you!"

"What's going on? What happened?" You asked as you rushed past your household staff, not a care in the world with how undone you looked. 

"It's the regent, Your Highness! The Grand Duke seized complete control of the capital and declared war on House Fraldarius! He is calling for the annihilation of Lord Rodrigue and his family! He claims they are controlling His Highness!"

No. 

You felt your blood run cold at the revelation that was sent to you. All the signs yet again point to your father— and his fanatical, maniacal obsession with the throne. With killing Dimitri.   

"This conflict will only end with one of them dead," you said, your lip quivering in terror at the thought. "I… I will ride to Fhirdiad!"

"You will not, Your Grace! His Majesty will send for you once he has put the usurper to rout!" Madam Liadan declared as she barred your way to the stables. "Such is the price of peace—"

"There is no peace and there will be no peace even with one of them dead!" You shouted, swallowing the lump in your throat as you flung her out of your way. "Get out of my way, Madam Liadan. I will plead for my father's life if I have to."

"Y-You forget yourself, Princess! Everything he's done, he did for you! You would disrespect him by begging for his life— for leniency?! From a usurper?!" 

You once dreamed of officially inheriting the Itha Plains from your father. You dreamed of him accepting your choice of a husband. You dreamed of him as a grandfather, carrying your children— dark-haired, with eyes as warm as hazel and sunrise— and you dreamed of caring for him in his old age. You dreamed of a long life for him, far from all the melodrama he was initially born into… and a gentle death befitting the gentle father that he was to you. 

But no matter how good of a father he was to you, the weight of his sins to his family and the Kingdom hung heavy and low in the scale. He would pay the ultimate price for it. 

In your shock upon your arrival to Fhirdiad, in the aftermath of the succession crisis and Dimitri's resolution, you fell to your knees in tears of agony, crying and cursing yourself for arriving far too late— for never being enough for him to disregard the indignities of his youth.

"Hey!—"

The last thing you saw before blacking out entirely was Felix hurriedly reaching out to you. 

Finally, you dreamed of your father holding you in his arms as you made your way back to Itha following your very first visit to the capital, blissfully joyful and unaware of all that has yet to transpire. 

In the days that followed in the aftermath of the succession crisis, it was revealed that the Houses Elidure, Mateus, Kleiman, Rowe, Duval, and many other minor western lords played a part in the assassination of the late king. Dimitri's counsel worked swiftly to ensure your father's part in the ploy was also unveiled and made known to everyone in the Kingdom. You accepted that as the truth now. 

Your interrogation was conducted by Margrave Gautier, who accepted your statement as fact. Even if you had known anything, you would have related it to your cousin as soon as you could.

"The Princess of Itha has made it clear that she had no involvement in the matter and knew nothing about the coup," the older man related to the young king and the rest of his counsel. 

It made sense that you knew nothing of your father's scheme, for your role would come to pass in the future. For the pieces of his plan to fall into place seamlessly, you had to be blameless and unblemished. He kept you as far away as he could so he could present you as his faultless heir. Rufus would deal with the fallout in the years that followed. 

But your father was dead, and you were nothing else but a misplaced pawn. 

"I know," Dimitri stated. "How is she?"

"The princess is of sound mind if that is what you wish to know, Your Highness. I believe she is waiting for a chance to speak to you if you will permit it."

You remained confined under guard in your childhood bedchambers in the capital. This place was once filled with happy, joyful memories of your youth, but now it served as your prison cell. 

More of your father's misdeeds came to light when you last spoke to the Margrave, and though he does not blame you, he also made it clear that your presence would mean contention for Dimitri. For once, you found yourself cursing the very blood that flowed through your veins. You cursed the Crest you were born with that made your father aspire for things beyond his grasp. 

The indignities of your cousin's youth had yet to be repaid, and you swore to him that you would do so in kind for as long as he wished.

When Dimitri finally came to see you, you could only grasp his hands, unable to look him in the eye. "You've known where my heart and my loyalties lie ever since we were children, mine cousin. I swear to the Goddess. To our dead fathers… I no longer care what you wish to do with me, but believe me when I say not even once did I aspire to be Queen."

"I've known from the very beginning," he stated as he held your hands and quelled their shaking. "I believe in you. And I cannot cast you aside, even if you wish. You are the only family I have left… And I do not want for us to become like our fathers…" 

"We will never be like them," you strongly declared through your tears. "Never."

Dimitri and his counsel worked tirelessly to restore order to the capital before eventually extending their reach to the rest of the Kingdom. You assisted with implementing many of the reforms after being proven innocent of the regent's attempts at usurping the throne. 

You were used to the mistrust of the people, so much that you wished your cousin would delegate you tasks that required others to watch you carefully— just so you could prove that you meant him no harm. That your heart was nothing like your father's. 

Your fate, as the elephant in the room, was the topic of discussion in one of their recent councils, where they burned their candles at both ends to come to a resolution. While some of them voted to banish you from the Kingdom, others argued your possible usefulness to the king's cause, including Felix, who attested to your skill with the sword, which you previously pledged to Dimitri's service, whenever he asked for it.

As it stood, you remained a political prisoner granted remarkable leeway— so much so that you were still permitted to eat, train, and spend time with the prince and your friends, much like when you were children. 

"The matter with the princess is rather complicated. We simply cannot allow her to walk away from all of this," Margrave Gautier stated. "We cannot allow her to return to Itha, either, lest she be taken away by the remaining forces of the western lords—"

"—and be used as a symbol. A weapon against His Majesty," Rodrigue remarked.

"You're right. But she is no political prisoner. She is my family," Dimitri stated this time. "And she will be treated as such by everyone else while she is here."

Margrave Gautier turned to the young king. "If I may, Your Majesty. You said you trusted the princess. How can you be so sure that she will not betray you?" 

"Because she spoke the truth. She never wanted to be Queen, even when we were children. The highest thing she ever hoped to be was…"

A ghost of a smile made its way to the young king's face, only for it to disappear following several puzzled looks from his counsel. Felix was equally perplexed by the sight. 

"Unlike her father, she supports my claim to the throne and never once contested me for it. I'm certain that caused some kind of rift between them, but my uncle's desperation and determination to keep her away from the infighting only showed how much he cherished his daughter still…" Dimitri said with a thoughtful hand on his chin. "Since we're on the topic of what should be done with her, I may as well give you the best option. A way to ensure her loyalty to our cause… though I know we do not need such methods. It will require your approval, Rodrigue. But, ah… I suppose it would be more appropriate for the new Duke Fraldarius to have a say in it, since he is also part of this plan."

"What do you mean, boar?" Came Felix's incredulous quip, to which his liege only responded with a small but knowing smile. 

"All she's ever wanted to be is your wife, after all."

For Dimitri, there was no turning back anymore from what had already been done. The Kingdom called for his ascension and he cannot put it off any further, no matter how he tried to avoid it. A mountain of tasks lay at his feet ahead of his coronation and you were there to carve open that path for him, at least that was what you endeavoured to do after everything that transpired. When word reached you that Felix would soon become the next Duke Fraldarius, you pondered where your place would be in all of this. 

The Itha Plains, its surrounding lands, properties and territories have been consolidated under Kingdom rule in the meantime and all of the dealings you and your father previously signed off on have been effectively frozen. The new king will figure out what to do with the Grand Duchy once the more important issues have been resolved. 

While you were initially part of Dedue and Rodrigue's reconciliation campaign to Duscur, Dimitri has made indications that he will need you elsewhere, and that your father's sins are not yours to bear. But until he speaks to you about it, you will continue your work as a basic weapons instructor in the Kingdom, alongside the mysterious mercenary from your academy days, the one who possessed a power so eerily similar to that of "Tomas" and the "Saintess", Cornelia. 

It gave you no pleasure to put the knights in place, especially when they were loyal to your father, the regent. Some would declare their fealty to you, their blade under your command should you want it, but it was evident that they were misguided and led away by the false promises made by an irresponsible king who never was.

You missed Rufus, but it was clear to you that the Kingdom would fare better without him at the helm. And you would want nothing to do with ruling even in the future. 

When the evening came and training sessions came to a close, it was only you and your mercenary friend left in the castle training grounds to round up and conduct an inventory on the weapons used throughout the day.

"For a princess, you're surprisingly diligent," they remarked as they gathered the used swords in place. "Whenever I think of princesses, I'm always reminded of how… delicate they must be." 

"I'm a far cry from delicate, even when Dimitri and I were children, Commander. When Gustave taught me how to wield a sword, I fell in love with it at the first instance. And I suppose it's only fitting even for a girl like me born into the Kingdom, which values strength and our heroic bloodlines over everything else," you replied with a low chuckle as you carefully lined up the spears and lances in their racks. "My Crest made me stronger than the average person, too… So surely there was something I could do to support my cousin, too…" 

"You know, Dimitri told me something before the incident… when I was questioning this… gift I had. I thought you ought to hear it, too. You both have the same kind of strength. He believed his power was given to him so he could protect others. Your cousin has always believed in the innate goodness of a person more than anything. That explains why he chose to trust me despite everything. I know for a fact that he believes in you and greatly trusts you, too," they stated with a firm resolution, a spark of hope in their amethyst eyes. "I'm only able to stand here before you because of Dimitri, who believes my gift can be used for the greater good. Do you think the same way as I do? The only thing left for you to do is to prove that you are worthy of his trust. Of our trust."

"I… I'll prove it. I wield my blade in the service of my king. There is nothing more I could want."

Your conversation was cut short when you heard approaching footsteps followed by your cousin's wide shadow spilling on the ground. "There you are, mine cousin. Gustave said I'd find you here." 

"Well, we're just about done here anyway, so I'll leave you two to it," your mercenary friend said with a smile. Dimitri gently patted their shoulder as they passed by him. "I'm gonna help myself to some dinner now!"

"Oh, thanks for the help, Commander!" You managed to holler at them as they disappeared into the castle. 

"I was hoping we could share a meal ourselves, mine cousin," the young king started as he offered his elbow to you. "You know, we never really got around to talking about your time in Fraldarius lands."

"That week I spent there was one of the most unforgettable moments in my life," you chuckled as you linked your arm in his. "Felix… still smiled a lot back then."

"That is true. I suppose we will see less and less of that once is officially named the new Duke Fraldarius," Dimitri stated as he led you through the castle halls, specifically through the Hall of Kings, where portraits of the members of the Royal Family hung. You paused between the portraits of your father and your uncle, the late king, the brothers in their similar signature Blaiddyd azure regalia, yet still different sides of the same shining coin. "My counsel and I have come to a decision regarding your fate. There were some who wished to banish you from the Kingdom, but I would not have that. I could not agree to that… out of my great love for you and my respect to my uncle, who was nothing but a good father to you, I believe. You are my only family left in this world." 

"And you are mine," you solemnly nodded at him.

"I know the Itha Plains is your birthright, but we have decided against granting it to you. There are still some who fear the contention you pose and think you will not be so different from your father. There are still some who will not think twice to herald you as the rightful heir to the throne."

"Perish the thought," you said, your brows furrowed as you shook your head in dismissal of the notion. 

"I wish to keep you close, for I know that I can still trust you with my life, but in order for that to happen, you will have to renounce your royal title."

It was an unexpectedly lenient consequence, but not entirely surprising to you. You had no right to be begging for anything after everything that has happened, and to prove your worth and compliance to the Kingdom's cause, you agreed. "That is something I can do. Perhaps something I deserve, too."

"And marry Felix."

???

You looked up at Dimitri with eyes as wide as saucers. He did not just say that, did he? "Wh— Wait, what did you say?!"

"You will marry Felix and become his wife as your way of ensuring your loyalty to the Kingdom's cause."

"I— I would have renounced my title either way, Dimitri!" You attempted to disentangle yourself from him, only for him to hold you hostage with his grip. "A-And what did Felix have to say about this?! He must be seething in anger at having such an important thing be decided for him—"

Your bickering drew yet another set of footsteps this time, followed by the familiar, cynical voice of your childhood friend, who just happened to be your topic of discussion. 

"You ought to stop putting words in other people's mouths, Princess," Felix stated as he made his approach. "Are you done talking with her, boar?"

"Since he's here, you may as well ask him yourself," your cousin said with a smile as he placed your hand in the other young man's open palm. "I suppose I'll have dinner with our mercenary friend while you're at it."

"D-Dimitri! W—" You groaned to yourself as you watched the young king's figure walk away from you, as though he successfully led you into a harmless trap. 

"What's this I heard about you wanting to marry me ever since we were children?" 

Felix was never one to mince words, so you weren't at all surprised that he didn't evade the issue. 

It was embarrassing to hear him talk about it upfront, though.

"Th-That's—! Th-That was supposed to be a secret between me and Dimitri!" You squeaked at him. "I-I didn't expect him to actually find it usef—"

He squeezed your hand, reminding you of where you were and the decisions that had to be made. "And you'd rather it remain a secret than find out what I think about it?"

"I…"

"Hmph. Will marriage to me be such a chore for you?" He scoffed as he slowly released you, only for you to grasp his sleeve.

"N-No! I— It's true that I've always wanted to marry you, Felix! But I… I would never want for you to marry me out of obligation! Doesn't it sound like a punishment to you? I-I'm practically a traitor's daughter to everyone else, more or less… B-But this—! This… is such an important matter! This is marriage! I-If we agree to this, you'll be spending the rest of your life with me, of all people…! A-And—"

Oh, you were rambling at this point, your words strung together and incoherent as you attempted to explain your side to no avail. It was only when Felix held your hands in his once more that your mind was silenced from the thoughts that crowded it. 

"Princess," he said, his low and steady voice slicing through the noise of your thoughts. "I'm not marrying you out of obligation. This is not a punishment and you are not defined by your father's sins. Only fools refuse to accept the fact of your innocence. I agreed to that decision because I want to marry you."

"I… I—"

"And we're only having this difficult conversation because the boar beat me to it," he grumbled this time, his embarrassment evident by the blush that crept up his neck to the tips of his ears. "S-So what's it gonna be, princess?! Are you going to marry me or what?!" 

"Y-You want to m-marry me?! S-Since when?!"

"Wh— Why does it even matter?! Just say yes so we can be done with this!" 

"O-Of course I'll marry you, Felix! Th-This is like a dream come true! B-B—"

"I—"

"I-I've liked you f-from the start!" You sputtered at him, your hands burning in embarrassment as you squeezed him right back. "A-At first you were the boy with the pretty black hair, b-but when I started training with the sword and we started training together, I— I've been thinking of so many ways to grab your attention!"

You only realised now that you didn't have to try so hard.  

It is now 1182. Two years have passed since Dimitri's ascension as the King of Faerghus. As part of his reforms to the Kingdom, he established his private army spearheaded by none other than the not-so-mysterious mercenary from your academy days, who proved to be a reliable and trustworthy person. They grew to be a well-respected commander by both the nobles and the commoners who banded under the banner of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus.

As agreed upon by the king's counsel, Rodrigue stepped down from his position as Duke Fraldarius and passed his title to his named heir, Felix. After renouncing your royal title, the two of you were wed in a simple yet elegant celebration in Fraldarius lands, the snowscape becoming the perfect backdrop of your union. 

The promise was sealed with a pretty ring he inherited from his mother. For all his austerity, Felix was a good husband and he was exceptionally kind to you, even though it was mostly him growing and maturing into his role— both as the Duke Fraldarius and as your spouse. 

For your efforts in aiding Dimitri in his reforms, you were officially appointed a Kingdom General. The title couldn't come any sooner, with Adrestia's declaration of war against the Central Church. That same church is now knocking at the Kingdom's doorstep and to deny it assistance would be denying Dimitri's ascent to the throne. As a member of the Kingdom vanguard, you understood that the declaration wasn't just a mere threat, but a promise that the Empire would do whatever it could to accomplish what it set out to do.

But the deeper into Imperial territory you step into, the looser the lid on the can of worms becomes— that can pertaining to the cloud of mysteries left in the wake of the Tragedy of Duscur. The string of deceit will unravel by the King's hand, and many of your allies who lost someone dear to them in that incident will receive the closure they deserve. 

You don't speak much about it, but Rufus sometimes visits you in your dreams, sometimes in unpleasant ways that rock you awake. When Dimitri was held hostage in Fhirdiad after being captured by the witch Cornelia, you hardly had a wink of sleep because of the image of your father's headless corpse standing at the foot of your bed. 

The exhaustion you felt deep in your bones was forgotten in the rage that nearly consumed you in the battle to liberate Fhirdiad. You backed your husband and the commander as they made their way into the castle before eventually safeguarding Rodrigue, who was tired but thankful. In a moment of respite, he spoke of how their captors brought them to heel by means of manipulating the king's heart for his people. Dimitri, who was once consumed by the throes of vengeance for the dead, was so concerned about the living and breathing that he willingly surrendered Areadbhar in exchange for a fragile peace in the city. 

There is no peace, you told yourself as you angrily charged at the enemy soldiers that attempted to attack your father-in-law. No peace for me, either.

Cornelia had nothing but a haughty look of derision as you brought her to heel. "Well, if it isn't the Princess of Itha. Ah, but you're no longer that person, are you? To see you reduced to a wife of a mere lord. Your father must be turning in his grave."

"Silence, witch. You're fortunate Dimitri still requires answers from you. I would have struck you down without a second thought if I could," you stated, pressing the pointed end of your silver sword to her throat. "Don't speak of my father. Don't speak as though you knew him. You only corrupted him. And for all it's worth, you were the one who killed him."

That night, you dreamed of your father's decapitated corpse once again, only to find him holding your head in his hands this time.

Ahead of the decisive skirmish against the Western Coalition, Dimitri beseeched you to step away from the fighting for only this instance. He said he couldn't risk you being taken hostage by the western lords and be heralded as a symbol— be used as a weapon against him. Felix agreed with him, surprisingly, but only because your husband noticed your severe lack of sleep.

"Felix is right, mine cousin. We can't have you collapsing on the battlefield because you didn't get enough rest," Dimitri said as you spoke ahead of your war council. "But more importantly, I know the western lords aren't above using atrocious tactics to upend the battle, even more so if they find out that you will be fighting in it."

"For once, I agree with His Majesty," your husband remarked. "Royal title or no, it doesn't change the fact that you are a princess of Faerghus and the daughter of the dead Grand Duke who started this all." 

"But don't you see? All the more I should be in this battle. To teach those western lords the error of their ways. To show them once and for all that they will gain nothing from putting me on a pedestal."

Your declaration would have been perfect if you weren't nearly captured in the ensuing battle. It was a misstep you attributed to your exhaustion, your sound decision-making crippled by the fatigue that enveloped your head. 

Your head. In your dead father's hands. 

No. 

When word reached Felix that you were overwhelmed by the opposing forces, he raced through the battlefield in a fit of rage and fury and a flash of aquamarine, nearly razing the enemies to the ground in lightning and ashes. 

"Get your hands off my wife!"

You were awakened by the golden glow of the setting sun that peeked through the opening of your lodging. As you moved slowly, you were surprised to find yourself encased in an embrace as your husband slept soundly and calmly on your warmed bed. You were out of your battle regalia and in a comfortable sleeping tunic. There were clear signs of your injuries having been cleaned recently and you couldn't help but think of how much of a burden you were to your allies after having made that thoughtless declaration of strength, too. 

Felix mumbled in his sleep, his brows furrowed as he buried his face further into your chest. As you settled into his arms, you noticed the crimson ribbon holding his ponytail slightly coming loose, so you decided to untie it, allowing his silky hair to fall behind him. You caught a lock of his hair and gently toyed with it, curling it around your finger until it eventually came loose. 

"Are we… actually a love match?" You quietly mused to yourself. You didn't mind not getting an answer. You cherished these quiet, tender moments where he was nothing but a husband to you. Not Duke Fraldarius. Not a general of this army. Just Felix. Your Felix.

"You're not one for words, I know that much. You've saved me countless times. I don't even know what to say…" You started, your voice hushed to a whisper. He smelt of your favourite tea blend, too. "And for a man who values strength above all else, I still can't help but wonder what it was you liked about me."

"Mm…" You felt his low grumble reverberate in your chest. 

The colour of the sunset was lovely, casting a warm glow over your entangled figures, illuminating the space until it prompted Felix to wake. 

"How're you feeling?" Came his gentle inquiry. 

"I'm well, thanks…"

"That's good to know," he started, slowly releasing you and sitting up. "Because you're going to get an earful from me! This recklessness of yours really runs in the blood, huh? You and your beastly cousin are cut from the same tough cloth!"

Here comes his tirade, you thought to yourself with a small sigh. But it's only right, I suppose… 

"I'm sorry, Felix," you said apologetically, your hands gently reaching for his own. "I have no excuse for being caught unaware back then."

"What is going on with you, anyway? You haven't been eating. Your bladework has been sloppy," he sharply replied. "And you've been having trouble sleeping?"

You didn't want to conjure it in your head— the image that's been keeping you awake. 

"Hey," he called out to you as your mind wandered, your lashes lowered to your quivering hands. "Tell me what's going on."

"I…" You started, eventually prompted to continue by the way your husband squeezed your hands reassuringly. "I see him in my dreams, Felix. My father. I see his headless corpse holding my severed head in his hands. Maybe I am as guilty as he is."

"You're not."  

"Then why? Why does he visit my dreams in that form?!" You sobbed at him, warm tears filling the corners of your eyes. "I…"

"That's not him," he stated. "Those are just your regrets. You regret not being enough. Not being able to save him. So much that you wish you were dead as well."

Instead of lashing out at his realisation, Felix simply encased you in yet another warm embrace. "The truth hurts but it is the truth, regardless. There was no saving your old man after how far he'd gone. And you have to understand that his sins don't define you. How many times must you hear it from me and your cousin?"

You blinked away your tears and gently coiled your arms around your husband's neck. "Does he ever visit you in your dreams, too? Your big brother, I mean…"

"I can't count the times he did," he replied with a low hum. "Perhaps not as grotesque as your father's appearances, but it was still jarring all the same to me."

The two of you sat in comfortable silence before Felix posed another question to you. "Do you remember the jewelled dagger I gave you on your fifth birthday?" 

"I do. It is one of my most prized possessions."

"It was Glenn who suggested I give you a dagger. I thought it was strange at first because we hardly knew each other back then… But he told me, regardless of whether or not we knew each other, I should wish for you to carve open a path for yourself. And that's exactly what you did."

"Did I really?…"

"You carved open a path for yourself the moment you chose to follow Dimitri rather than fight him like everyone else around you expected you to do."

"Oh, yes. I think I did that," you said with a soft laugh. "I never wanted to be Queen, anyway. I wanted to be the Grand Duke Itha and your wife, though I knew I could only be one of those."

"Hmph. Well, I'm sorry if the Fraldarius Dukedom is all I can offer, Princess," Felix replied with a teasing scoff. He gently released you from his embrace and reached for a carefully wrapped parcel on the floor. "Speaking of which, I have something for you. My mother had it delivered to us."

"What could this be?" You wondered aloud as your fingers nimbly tore through the thick parchment. "Oh!"  

You couldn't take your eyes off the finely made mantle the moment you unwrapped it. 

Aquamarine, with cream white fur lining the collar and hem to protect your neck from the elements. You ran your gloved fingers over the Crest of Fraldarius that was embroidered on the cape with sturdy yet delicate-looking silver thread. 

"Beautiful…" You murmured in tears yet again. 

"I know the Itha Plains is your home, but it's likely that it will go to one of His Majesty's children in the future," Felix stated as he unfurled the cape to its full length before draping it over your shoulders and fastening the clasp on your chest. "This is to remind you that you still have a home. With me."

It was heavy— both the weight of the mantle and the duty tethered to its creation. You would never be the Grand Duke of Itha, but you were the Lady of House Fraldarius and wife of the Shield of Faerghus. 

But first and foremost, you were Felix's wife. A dream made manifest the moment you whispered it in your cousin's ear long ago.

You've faced the shadows of your past and supported each other through the most pitch black of moments. Your love, once a quiet promise made in the innocence of your youth, has blossomed into something profound and enduring. 

That night, you dreamed of your father in your youth, nary a trace of all his exhaustion, but only a calm smile on his face as he finally bade you farewell, your figure cloaked in Fraldarius aquamarine this time, your husband's gloved hand in yours as you marched ever onward, racing against the setting sun. 

୨୧ The images used here are from the lovely webtoon All Colors of Snow by Ah Ai Maria. 💛