#best casual games 2017

[reformedmercymain]

Should I give Overwatch another chance?

Honestly as much as I love the game I’d hold off on playing it until PvE comes out unless you have friends who are playing it with you. Ow2 reignited my actual love for the game (outside of how it scratched my competitive itch) so it *might* be worth a try even without friends if you loved “old overwatch” (like the “classic days” of 2016-2018?) and maybe lost interest around 2019 onwards. But for 99% of the players who left I’d advise you wait for what will hopefully be decent PvE

[louisisalarrie]

Why do you think some larries like the idea of hl broken up in 2013 or 2016? I joined the fandom in 2017-18 and read back popular bloggers at that moment and everyone was convinced that they have been together, and some even were sure that Harry was very supportive in 2016 and did his best for Louis. Last few years I see more and more bloggers thinking differently. Have you ever changed your mind about hl and break ups?

hellooooo anon! welcome to the show x

a lot of the bigger blogs somewhat gave up hope, and started to fall off tumblr anyway because it wasn’t the platform it once was. The dynamic of this fandom is so different now, and visibly shifted after the band went on hiatus. The closeting got more and more aggressive over time, obviously, and then once the band split it was hard to keep on larrying because we weren’t getting content of them. And that’s the main thing I think has subconsciously or consciously swayed folks from believing they’re still together. It was mainly the hiatus.

Now, the hiatus was important in terms of contracts and stunts and we had so much hope that because they were no longer “one direction”, we’d see a large shift in stunts and the boys hanging out together, and perhaps a bit of optimism for a CO. we tried to make the best out of a very sad situation lol, but it made sense. They could be more free since they were both solo and with different teams.

However, we just didnt get what we hoped for. We didn’t see them reconnecting and we didn’t get to see them both being in the same place staring at each other with the same love in their eyes that they had in 2011, because they weren’t required to be. No band, meant no obligations together. So without the constant proof and subtle looks and brushes of their arms and giddiness, it was hard to keep up supporting them. It felt somewhat pointless because we didn’t see an end to it. It was just hoping they were seen together or we’d get SOMETHING, and we got and are still getting little tidbits, but it’s not the same amount of proof as before so people kind of fell off the wagon.

To be honest, I took a step back after 2017 because Tumblr wasn’t pumping as much as it used to, and my life got in the way. Unless something major happened, I was pretty MIA, unfortunately. But I’ve been back fully for a couple years now, which I’m happy about. But it’s easy to shift ideas when you aren’t getting photo and video evidence of them being loved up, ya know? The stunts didn’t stop after 1d. BBG didn’t end. We all bet so much on at least a couple of stunts dropping when they went on hiatus but it just didn’t happen. We were, and still are, caught in this closeting game of PR moves and bullshit tweets and gift baskets for a kid that isn’t Louis’. ANYWAY

Those are the reasons behind a lot of doubt that larry are still together. So, what do I think?

Well, I think that theorising about their breakups is just entirely unproductive for the cause that we’re fighting for. It feels almost… fanfic-esque, and like, I still see people calling themselves casual larries and believe they were together at one point and that’s why they still fight for their freedom, because of what they went through as kids and even their closeting now, but I just… don’t think it should be a theory that people try and convince others of. That’s not what larries are about. If you think they’ve broken up, cool, don’t come on here and try to prove to everyone why, because that’s just… silly. It’s almost an anti move, which a lot of old larries have shifted to, mind you, because of these theories of break ups and very little proof with a whole lot of reaching (sometimes) on our end at the moment.

It’s an argument a lot of people use, like theorising that they’re in an ethical non monogamous relationship, or aren’t together anymore but fuck casually, or genuinely hate each other, or they aren’t together anymore and they’re dating other people (some examples being stunts, some being completely wild theories), and yeah, it comes down to song lyrics and lack of proof otherwise that they’re still together.

A lot of L and H’s songs do have connotations of breakups, or getting back together, or being separated etc., and I see a lot of Larries say “oh well they must have broken up at some point like any relationship, they’re not perfect, but they’re together now” etc., which is great, fine, and normal because being with someone for like 13 years in those jobs is hard work. But I truly think it’s unproductive to theorise on shit like that, as Larries. It gives antis ammo, and I think it comes out of boredom. Because let’s be honest, us and many solos (except the niall solos rn they living it UP), aren’t getting a whole lot right now, larry or otherwise. Harry’s basically MIA, we saw louis and Harry both at the euros in the same photo, louis is doing a few more festivals before a break (god that’s gonna hurt), and so… idk. We’re all itching for something. We used to get new content every day back in the day, but we just aren’t getting it. Which is fine, I don’t expect that these days, but damn, throw us a bone lol.

Some folks like to believe that larry themselves are choosing to keep their relationship private for now, because they want to. That’s fine. Others believe they are still being heavily closeted. That’s fine. What we’re fighting for is the love between two dudes, regardless of whether they have broken up somewhere in between, because we want justice for them and a change in the industry.

Anyway, my belief is that they’re together now, and that’s all that matters. We could go into deep theories and shit about body language changes and attitudes and fighting in 2015/2016 or whatever, but I just don’t think it’s productive, or that simple.

Listen, if I was in that situation, like… it’d be fucking hard to give up after how hard you fought for this person, that love just doesn’t go away. Being that age as well, it’s deep in your soul when you feel it. So I really do think that it isn’t as simple as that. I think it probably got messy at times, frustrating sure, but I’m not going to theorise on that.

And that’s not me being ignorant about relationships and how they can fluctuate and fights happen and breaks happen and I’m sure those two went through hell, but I just don’t see them giving up on each other that easily.

Anyway, hope this gives you a little insight into my brain and what I think about this. You can check out skepticalarrie’s ‘they never broke up’ tag if you like, and I’ll have this in my pinned post for reference to what I think about breakup rumours etc as #still together still going strong.

Let me know if any other q’s or if this ramble needs some clarifying hehe. Thank you! <3

[four-loose-screws]

Hi! I've never been able to find good sources on what's actually missing in the Radiant Dawn "extended script" compared to the vanilla localization. In particular, I wanted to ask about Ludveck, the main antagonist of Part 2. I was told he loses a lot of screentime especially and his character gets neutered down, so I wanted to ask about him.. Love the blog by the way, it's great! Thank you!

Hi! Thank you for enjoying and getting lots out of my blog! =)

Quick reference to all links I share in this post:

What is the Radiant Dawn "extended script?" Summary from amielleon in 2017.

Radiant Dawn extended script, side-by-side with full fan translation. Completed in 2024, first posted to Reddit w/ a mediafire link to download the translation.

Link to the localized Radiant Dawn script, for side-by-side comparison with the fan translated extended script.

First, allow me to start with a short summary of what the Radiant Dawn "extended script" is, for those who may not know. The Japanese version of Radiant Dawn has 2 scripts. 1 for normal mode (the easiest difficulty), and 1 for hard and maniac mode. Only the main script is different - no base convos, support convos, etc. have any differences. No one knows exactly why there are 2 scripts. But the prevailing theory is the game devs wanted an easier to read script for children, casual players, and those who did not play Path of Radiance.

The English localized script is based on the normal mode script, meaning there's tons of little details left out all across the game, that overseas fans would never know about without fan translations and online resources! (There's also some scenes here and there that have dialogue unique to the localization, but that's another discussion of its own.) Why didn't the localization get the extended script? No statement has been made for certain. Seems like the kind of thing that would happen due to a time crunch, but that's also just a theory.

For a more lengthy summary of what the extended script is, this post done in 2017 by amielleon is fantastic for that.

Now for my full response to anon:

The Radiant Dawn "extended script," as it is commonly referred to as, is one of the few times in my FE translation efforts when I will realize my human limits. RD is a big, long game, and to think that there's an even longer version of the script, that was never localized...? Oh, and there's small chunks of script here and there that are unique to the localization, and not in the short or extended JP script? Yeah, that's a can of worms I wouldn't open unless I was willing to set aside all my other translations for a while.

The good news: I did some sleuthing, and confirmed that someone recently finished a complete fan translation of RD's extended script! It is beautifully presented in an easy to download file to boot. Click here for a link to their Reddit post, which includes a mediafire link to download the full translation.

The downside: the fan translation is only the JP extended script and fan translation side-by-side. If you want to know exactly what's different, you also have to bring up the localization script and read that side-by-side all by yourself. Not a bad scenario by any means, and probably the only practical option, as the extended script changes so many little things here and there that making an exhaustive list of changes would be, well, exhausting. But it would be neat if there was one definitive reference guide to the differences between the localization, shorter JP script, and extended JP script.

As for the best place to access the localized RD script for side-by-side comparison, Serenes Forest never 100% updated the site to include the entire script, so my current answer is fandom.com. Click here for the link to the RD scripts on fandom.com.

In conclusion, anon, sorry to not address your question directly... but I hope that providing all the resources to compare any part of Radiant Dawn's localized script side-by-side with the extended script is an equivalent exchange!

[mikewheelerfan2022]

Mutuals and people who follow me, please share your comfort movies. I’ll list mine:

IT (2017): I absolutely adore this movie. It’s supposed to be horror, but it’s not really scary. This is probably my most-watched movie ever, even though it’s not my favorite.

The Empire Strikes Back: My favorite Star Wars movie and second favorite movie of all time. I could watch the Bespin duel on repeat all day long. I’m a sucker for villainous parents, so maybe that’s why I love this so much.

The Lost Boys: Ever since I was a kid, my parents were hyping this movie up. My dad let me listen to the soundtrack and said it was a great movie, but only for when I was older. And now that I’ve watched it, I’ll make a bold statement: The Lost Boys is the best vampire movie of all time.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: I was exposed to Scott Pilgrim kind of backwards. I watched the anime, then the movie, then read the comics. And I love all of it. The casual video game and fantasy elements are so great. And the movie is just so fun.

Feel free to start a reblog chain with this, although please don’t feel like you have to make your answers as long as mine.

Tagging a few mutuals: @starry-skies-116 @floralcavern @wheeler-fan

[ideavian]

Your art and the style you have can only be compared to a resplendent dream. I'd love to know about your history in art, ie, your inspirations, how long you've been creating, and the story behind your fascination with distinctively ornate birds. My guess for the birds is Articuno, but what do I know?

Thank you so much!! That’s so nice of you to say akskkssk the birds are not really based on articuno sadly but articuno is one fine bird. Would love to catch it in Pokémon go one day 😔

I’ve been drawing birds for some … 8 years now? It started out less as birds than as colours in shapes tbh, like this one from probably 2016:

^Brought to you by sketch express and its 3 whole layers on my iPad 2. I think the first such bird drawing I ever did was based on a particularly nice sunset I saw :) I drew a whole series of these elements-based birds but I can’t find them anymore…

After playing around with that for a few months I started taking requests for birds based on anime characters like this one (mid 2017)

^rip Lelouch Codegeass you were a real one. I mostly drew characters from bungou stray dogs and That One Obscure Chinese Anime which. Really didn’t work that well in hindsight considering that the designs were more casual than what this style was suited for. But that’s where I started basing birds on people :3

And then in 2018 I got into a little dress up game called Love Nikki and started using the costumes as inspiration and also ran an art request blog, so I was drawing stuff like this for maybe four years? Also I got involved with an art club associated with the game so I was drawing a lot. Most of my stuff from around this time is on this blog!

(August 2018, June 2019, September 2020, August 2021. These are very representative of my personal growth because if you look at my signature you can tell I changed from a cat person to a crow person)

In the summer of 2022 I started doing commissions and got to see a lot of of people’s OCs! It was a lot of fun honestly and I think some of my best work was from then tbh. I think seeing other people’s character designs in different styles really helped me with learning to work with different elements and compositions and such :3

(August 2022, June 2023. Finally got a proper watermark because if I didn’t use them I’d get cancelled so hard on Chinese social media)

And also I discovered genshin character designs around that time and really vibed with the amount of detail on them :D I know people complain about how complicated they are a lot but my style only really works with complicated designs alsjsk

(April 2023, January 2024. Found out about lighting this year and it’s so exciting)

And that’s my bird drawing journey so far! I’m busy with school right now but I’m definitely looking forward to drawing more consistently after I’m done :D I love birds and fancy clothes and birds in fancy clothes

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

Brazil 2017

-Valterri on pole!

-“Kimi Raikonnen and Max Verstappen make up the second row”

-Aw Daniel grid penalty. Pierre too?

-Where’s Lewis? Oh, starting from the pit lane?

-Ferrari starting off so slow on the formation lap?

-“Just an amazing feeling being here in Brazil for my last home last. Thank you so much. I love you a lot” Felipe leaving next season for real 😢

-Oh it’s an uphill start. Interesting

-“There’s a Mercedes at the back, there’s a Mercedes in the front”

(Apparently Lewis crashed in qualifying?)

-Sebastian leading!!

-Daniel?!?

-Aaaaah Esteban and Grosjean!

-And that’s a safety car first lap!

-Some of these guys already coming to pit? It’s the second lap?

-Kevin out too??

-“Gasly and Hartley from the back row of the grid are up to 10th and 12th respectively”

-Some people win, some people lose

-“Force India are picking up only their second retirement of their year for either of their cars” Oh that’s unfortunate

-“I hope I never get invited to be a driver steward. That is the worst unpaid job in the world” Unpaid???

-Max laughing on radio. Please let him finish this race istggg

-Lewis up to 13?? Let’s go!!

-Why is Daniel p17?!

-Lewis back in points. Gasly and Hartley out of them

-“Daniel is the best over taker in the game” WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO THEN CHRISTIAN

-I feel like jumping off a cliff everytime they call him “last of the late breakers”

-Aw they’re calling the Force India the pink panther, very cute

-Daniel up to P9!!

-Lewis and Daniel just casually going from the end of the grid to top ten in a couple of laps

-Aah Lewis and Max incoming

-Every other driver, on the radio, complaining

-“Super soft’s looking quite good huh” Well everyone except for Lewis

-“Yeah this is almost un-drivable now” Honestly, if Max has to retire again, I will scream

-“Mercedes have triggered the undercut and Ferrari, have they been caught napping once again?”

-Woah! That was very close! Sebastian still came out ahead though

-Checo being passed by both Daniel and Max in the span of one lap…there are levels to this

-“Quite a good pace in the rears” Lewis is just having a good time out there, from the pit lane to now leading the race

-Young Charles!!!

-Nico Hulkenburg in points!!

-“Perez, I don’t care, he will come, there’s nothing we can do” Fernando radios are always so fun

-And a Toro Rosso is out

-“They just keep racing” Hehe that was cute

-“Okay Lewis P5 at the moment, we are chasing a podium” That would be such a recovery drive

-“Top points scorer in the last 4 races” Surely they’re not talking about Max? With that engine?

-“The battle between Hamilton and Verstappen is tantalizing on our doorstep”

-Oh Lewis just did a record breaking lap

-“He’s never won a race after he’s sealed a championship” ???

-Ohmygod Lewis just keeps doing fastest lap after fastest lap

-Oh lol Max Verstappen stole the fastest lap record

-Kimi’s been holding Lewis off for like five laps now

-To be fair to Lewis though, I think his tires are dying

-Final lap…

-Massa, Fernando and Perez have been going at it forever. It’s actually been fun

-“It’s Sebastian Vettel who wins the Brazilian Grand Prix!”

-“Grazie, Forza Ferrari”

-Ooh yay donuts!

-Aww Fernando standing by his car to applaud Massa on his last home race

-Massa with his family >>>

-“Daddy I’m so proud of you. Wherever you go I’ll support, by the way, I loved your start” Oh my god I might tear up

[lost-in-liquid-nights]

Roleplay Ad

Update: Due to not wanting to overwhelm myself. While also providing my current rp partners with quality and relatively consistent rp, my request for rp partners is currently closed! Still feel free to reach out if you like and I'll keep you in mind for if things open up.

Ah, hello Tumblr roleplayers, it has been a while! I am one of many who was left adrift after Omegle shut down and am on the search for rp partners.

I am looking for rp partners in a variety of fandoms, genres, ships, etc. I’ll have all of them listed in a hopefully organized manner below and will do my best to keep this list accurate. If you’re interested, feel free to shoot me a DM or interact with this post and I’ll reach out to you. But please do read through this post fully before doing so, thanks!

A Little About Myself:

-Age: 20+

-Pronouns: She/They

-Experience: I’ve been roleplaying off and on in a variety of fandoms and styles for around 10+ years

What I’m Looking For In A Roleplay Partner:

-Age: Roleplayers who are at least 20+ as well

-Style: I’m open to a variety of styles, I roleplay everything from one sentence “text message” style to multi-paragraph advanced lit. Though my preferences tend to lean towards lit/advanced lit.

-Location: I’d prefer someone who’s comfortable transitioning to Discord, once we agree on what we want to rp

-Expectations: One of the things I loved about Omegle were the casual vibes when it came to when an rp needed to end. So, while I hope for some long term rps, I’m looking for people who will be okay with rps ending when interest dissipates. Without the need for big explanations as to why. This goes both ways! I won’t expect such explanations from you either if we start any sort of storyline and you end up wanting to drop out. The way I see it, this is meant to be a fun pass time and ideally shouldn’t feel like a stressful obligation for either of us.

My Current Fandoms & Ships:

Films:

Fandom: Avengers (Films)

Ships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark

Fandom: Captain America (Films)

Ships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes

Fandom: Guardians of the Galaxy (Films)

Ships: Peter Quill/Rocket Racoon

Fandom: Venom (Films)

Ships: Eddie Brock/Venom

Fandom: X-Men (Films)

Ships: Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr

Fandom: Star Wars (Films)

Ships: Luke Skywalker/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn

Fandom: Pacific Rim

Ships: Hermann Gottlieb/Newton Geiszler

Fandom: Star Trek (Original Series, Original Films, and Modern Films)

Ships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk/Leonard McCoy

Fandom: It (Films, 2017) & It (Mini Series, 1990)

Ships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Bill Denbrough

Fandom: Spiderman (Films & Comics)

Ships: Johnny Storm/Peter Parker, Harry Osborn/Peter Parker

Fandom: Nimona (Film & Comic)

Ships: Ambrosius Goldenloin/Ballister Blackheart

Series:

Fandom: Loki (Series)

Ships: Morbius/Loki

Fandom: Moon Knight (Mini-Series)

Ships: Marc/Steven, Marc/Jake, Steven/Jake

Fandom: Daredevil (Series)

Ships: Foggy Nelson/Matt Murdock

Fandom: Infinity Train (Series)

Ships: Min-Gi Park/Ryan Akagi

Fandom: Merlin (Series)

Ships: Merlin Emrys/Arthur Pendragon 

Fandom: Stranger Things (Series)

Ships: Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington, Mike Wheeler/Will Byers

Fandom: Supernatural (Series)

Ships: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Dean Winchester/Benny Lafitte, Sam Winchester/Gabriel

Fandom: Hannibal

Ships: Hannibal Lector/Will Graham

Fandom: The Witcher (Series & Games)

Ships: Jaskier/Geralt, Eskel/Lambert, Eskel/Aiden

Games:

Fandom: Phoenix: Ace Attorney Trilogy (Games)

Ships: Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgworth

Frandom: Disco Elysium (Game) 

Ships: Kim Kitsuragi/Harry Du Bois,  Jean Vicquemare/Harry Du Bois

Fandom: Modern Warfare (Games)

Ships: Simon Riley/Johnny “Soap” McTavish

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human (Game)

Ships: Connor/Hank Anderson, RK900/Gavin Reed

Fandom: Dragon Age

Ships: Anders/Hawke, Fenris/Hawke

Podcasts:

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Ships: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims/Timothy Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Timothy Stoker, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley

Fandom: Malevolent (Podcast)

Ships: John/Arthur Lester

[futfemfantasies]

Prompt List:

Hey everyone! 

I have some ideas and who they are for but I want to see which ones you all want. If you want to suggest anyone else or make a change to the prompt, I’m happy for that! Or even if you have a prompt not on the list, send it through :)

Request the number and player and I’ll write it as soon as I can :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. “I see us in front of an altar one day”  Lucy Bronze

2. Y/N dedicates a song to _______ at her concert after just coming out  Sam Kerr

3. Asking for permission to kiss Alex Morgan

4. Casual intimacy - baths, washing each others hair, soft kisses Leah Williamson

5. Prohibited kisses - hands in hair and others on waist, lower bodies pressing into each other Patri Guijarro

6. “Can you repeat that? My brain hasn’t woken up yet”

7. “They’re just a friend, I swear”

8. “You’re my best friend! We shouldn’t, I shouldn’t be feeling like this. Fuck!” Alanna Kennedy

9. “Come to bed”

10. “Go home _____” “I’m already home”

11. Flower crown making on a picnic date Christen Press

12. World Cup proposal. Reader plays for England or USA and is dating _____ Sam Kerr

13. “I didn’t know who to call” Reader gets broken up with and seeks comfort in _______

14. Reader not healing from her mother’s death (Christen Press’ younger sister). ________

15. Barcelona team go to a Chinese restaurant and readers fortune cookie reads ‘Don’t let the one good thing in your life slip away’. _______ reads ‘your true love is around you’. At the hotel, reader and ______ link pinkies behind the group and share a kiss when they wait for a new elevator since the team filled them all up.

16. Reader joined Barca in 2017 and grew close to ________. Ended up being together for lockdown. Reader goes to Australia for national team camp and gets teased by Sam, Macca, Caitlin and Steph etc. Reader and ______ talk about coming out / what photos to use. _____ posts first then reader follows. Teasing by the team starts again after photos are posted. Mapi Leon

17. Reader is injured and she knows __________ wants to surf when she’s home so she re-waxes her surfboard as a surprise

18. Reader is quarantining with _________ when Australia wins the World Cup in 2020. It’s early in the morning and reader yells and screams, waking up ______.

19. Reader is going on a ‘date’ but knows _______ is in love with them. ________ helps pick out an outfit for the ‘date’ but reader wears it on their first date.

20. Alex Morgan little sister (5 years younger) - dating ________. Alex finds you two making out after a national team friendly - USA vs _________. Alex ‘threatens’ _________.

21. Reader singing One Less Lonely Girl to _________ on the bus on a long trip from a game to announce their relationship. Lucy Bronze

22. _________ surprising reader (Leah’s older sister) at Arsenal. Reader scores in the 90+5 minute, sending Arsenal to the Champions league final.

23. I Wish - One direction (sad fic) Leah Williamson

24. All Of The Girls You’ve Loved Before - Taylor Swift (reader dedicates this to __________ at their concert) - reader’s first time saying they’ve fallen for _______. 

25. Reader cooking for _______ for the first time and it’s really good.

26. “I could kiss you right now” “You’re very welcome to do it”  Reader scores an important goal in an important game.

27. “I haven’t felt like this in a long time and I’m scared”

28. “I think you’re parents may like me even more than you”  _________ meets readers parents for the first time due to covid.

29. “I didn’t want to tell you like this, but I have no choice”

30. “I miss you” “It’s just temporary” 

31. “They all reminded me of different parts of you so I got one of each” Reader can’t decide on one type of flower so the florist makes a bouquet with all different flowers from around the shop.

32. “Was that your way of asking me to marry you?” Reader is a singer and writes ‘That Part by Lauren Spencer Smith’.  Leah Williamson // Millie Bright

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

All Along the Watchtower (chapter 8)

[Can also be read on AO3]

Pairing: Captain John Price x Fem!OC (3rd person POV)

Word count: 2.8 K

Warnings: Minors DNI - no major warnings except for some references to sexual activities in the past and major fuck me eyes, also a few angsty lore drops for Rory (family death, divorce)

*Just a short chapter to stoke the ship flames

Summary: Rory prepares to go undercover, getting ready to enter the club and catch Zorokov. It's the obligatory "guy sees the girl he likes in a fancy dress and falls in love" scene

A/N: Rory Sinclair is a dual citizen (both Canada and the UK) who's been living in the UK since she was 14. She is 28 at the time of this fic, Price is 32. This series is set in 2017 before the events of the first MW game. Rory's thoughts are bold and italicized, other italics are used for emphasis

October 20, 2017 18:40 - Safehouse

“You are going to play nice, yeah? This won’t turn into some pissing contest?”

Price stood off in the corner of the room, smoke trailing from the end of his burning cigar as his arms stayed folded over his chest, his hardened stare burning a hole through the hotel room door as smoke wafted in front of his face. Rory couldn’t help but scoff at his reaction as she moved to unlock it, sliding the chain across as three steady knocks beat against the door. She shot him a look over her shoulder, her brows lifting, expecting an answer. He grumbled, his lip curling after exhaling. “I told you, you can trust him.”

“That remains to be seen,” he rasped.

“Fucking hell,” muttering under her breath, she swung the door open after checking the peephole. 

On the other side, standing in the hall, Andrew offered her a charming smile, bright blue eyes gleaming. She smirked at the neatly coiffed hair and the business casual clothes he had decided on. 

“Well, look at you James Bond.”

“Yeah, you think?” Clearly teasing her, he continued to smirk as she moved aside and he crossed the threshold into the hotel room, his eyes traveling over each crevice of the sparse room, carrying a vellum bag draped over his arm and several shopping bags. A shit-eating grin spread further across his lips as he held it out towards Rory, unable to hold in the chuckle. “Flew all the way from London for this, got it straight from Harrods.”

Rory looked down at the bag in his arms and furrowed her brow, her eyes going wide. “ Harrods ? Christ, Andy, MI6 give you a gold card or something?”

“Only the best for you, Sinclair.” He was laying it on thick with the wink, a glint in his eyes as he spied Price glaring at him from over her shoulder. 

Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes. “Bloody prat,” muttering under her breath while taking the bag with her towards the bathroom to change, she stopped and used her free arm to direct the MI6 officer’s attention towards the grizzly bear of a man in the corner who continued to puff on his cigar. “Officer Andrew Owen, allow me to introduce you to Captain John Price.”

Giving a quick tip of his head and a flick of a grin to the Captain, Andrew held his hands to his hips. Price returned the same motion, flexing his shoulders to broaden them further as he bounced on his heels, thrusting his pelvis. The clear showing of two men locked in a natural battle for dominance, neither backing down.  

She could only sigh as she walked past Price, his gaze tracking her with a lowered head and a lifted brow. Her sideways glance met him as he took a deep breath and shifted his weight. It didn’t take a genius to tell he wasn’t looking forward to having to socialize with the stranger, acting like she was his only lifeline, and she couldn’t help but bite her lip to keep herself from grinning. “ Be nice ,” she mouthed to him. A soft batting of her lashes was all that it took to get him to sigh again and nod his head in the direction of the bathroom with a quick scrunch of his nose.

With Rory out of the room, it was now just the two men left to square off. If there was room for it they would have been circling each other like stags about to clash antlers.

“So, SAS, huh?” Andrew did his best to break the awkward tension first. 

Responding to the man’s question with a grunt, Price’s brow knit together. “How d’you know Rory?”

The officer’s brows lifted slightly at the first name drop. “We served together. I was her Lieutenant in Iraq.”

“Right.” The steely gaze of the soldier dug into the other man, sizing him up. 

Under the direct scrutinization of the captain, the smirk grew a little more on Andy’s face.  “She’s a good soldier, Price. Keep an eye out for her, eh? Would hate to lose an asset like her.”

Price bristled, straightening up to stand a little taller as his eyes narrowed behind the amber glow of his cigar, blowing smoke out his nostrils as they flared. 

Eventually, after several awkward moments of staring one another down, the door to the bathroom finally opened and she stepped out dressed in a silky, deep plum colored short cocktail dress. The delicate material gently draped over her, clinging to her graceful curves. Instantly hit with the sensation of burning ears, she knew there were two sets of eyes currently set on her, but only one of them had any real intent – that cold, hardened glare hidden behind the curtain of smoke.

Rory didn’t often get the chance to dress up, her only excuse was usually at a Christmas party or New Year’s Eve bash, so to be there wearing something so sophisticated all in an attempt to take down the enemy was a breath of fresh air – or at the very least a nice escape from tactical gear, granny panties, and wet wipes in the field. Fixing the strap that had slipped down her shoulder, her fingertips grazed against the soft skin and her gaze roamed over to Price seemingly against her will, noticing his brow shoot up as he let out a sharp inhale, clearing his throat once he made eye contact. Caught in the act of having his eyes roam over her once more, over every bit of exposed toned muscle in her arms, legs and back, a cocky grin spread across his lips and her cheeks grew warm, a rosy blush climbing up them as her eyes fell and she was inclined to smile as well. 

Fluffing up her hair, standing barefoot, her toes curling into the rough fibers of the carpet, she looked over at Andrew who much more innocently took stock of her. “Who’d ever think you’re a soldier,” he teased as his head tilted to the side, inspecting her. “Well, the bruises might be a bit of a giveaway, but we’ll get those covered soon enough.” The MI6 officer passed her a small paper bag next. “I had one of the cosmetics counter girls figure it out for me.”

“I bet you did. Did you also get her number for later?”

“What kind of man do you take me for?” He feigned innocence for his audience as he pressed his hand to his chest. 

“One I know all too well.”

Noticing her friend’s eyes look up and then dart away again as a quiet growl emanated from the corner of the room, Rory glanced over at the looming presence beside her who had finished the stub of his cigar and had returned to staring with a darkened look at her, his focus put entirely on her shoulder still covered in bruises that had begun to turn green with time. 

“You’re sure you want to go in there, Sinclair?”

Looking into Price’s eyes was like staring at an unreadable wall again, only the little tics of his features giving her any sort of glimpse into what he was really thinking at any one time. Those weren’t the same youthful hungry eyes that had taken her in while he had her pressed up against a wall, his hands gripping at her thighs while her dress was rolled up around her hips, they were like stone even as they drank her in. She had to shake the image of the Lieutenant he had been from her head as her throat ran dry, the twinkle that had been in his eye that night since becoming a rare sight, but when it was there it made her heart race in a flurry of rapid beats.

“We can figure something else out, you can back out now before having to slap the makeup on.”

He knew she could fight – he had seen it – and still he was trying to offer her the easy way out. Whether it was sentimentality, a newfound sense of protectiveness for her, or a natural sort of chivalry, he didn’t seem to want to put her in harm’s way, rather he wanted to keep her out of it despite her ten years of military service already under her belt. 

“I can do this.” 

She would swear it up and down if she had to. This was her opportunity, her chance to really prove herself, even if it was mildly degrading. As she had said before, she knew her skills, her assets, and just as it had always been, her femininity was part of that. She was willing to use that to prove a point. 

Staring up at him, her face serious but without the hard bite it had when she was in a fight, he looked right back at her with his jaw clenched under the scruff, the muscle there twitching, a forced smirk hiding something else. 

Was he really worried about her?

Price nodded, biting his lip, no longer putting up a fight. He had to put his trust in her eventually. Now, apparently , was as good a time as any. Giving him a reassuring little tight-lipped smile, she squeezed the bag in her grip as if it were her weapon. “Right, well, guess I better get all dolled up, eh?”

After he flinched out another smirk in her direction, she returned to the confines of the bathroom to complete her transformation. 

----

It was hardly the best lighting, but she made do, being careful with every sweep and stroke of her brushes along the contours and curves of her face. Lines kept straight; layers blended. She was never one to go overboard on her makeup anyway, it was there to enhance, not cover or obscure. Closing the lid to her tube of lipstick, she blotted the full pout of her mouth and looked up into the mirror, and for a moment it was like seeing that twenty-three-year-old girl who was a little too quick to act staring back at her – the only thing missing was the ponytail, but she’d long since sworn off growing her hair out long. Her last step was the spritz of perfume. Something for Zorokov to remember her by as he was being hauled away for questioning. A warm scent of vanilla and amber that would linger on her skin…perhaps she’d even wear it again while interrogating the wanker later, just for good measure. 

It felt odd looking back at that face across from her, it was the look of the girl she used to be. The one who had yet to have her eyes opened to the world and how it really turned. The girl who thought the worst thing in the world that could have happened to her was losing her mother to cancer or watching her parents' divorce as a child, her father returning to England while she stayed behind in Canada to be raised by her mother. But in the grand scheme that was just a drop in the bucket, a pain that countless others had faced as well. She had yet to learn just how bad things could really get, how the nightmares could last and the tremors could lock her joints, the flashbacks giving her cold sweats. She was innocent, wide-eyed and pure, and she had offered all that on a silver platter for the ones in power to take from her. But she didn’t regret it, not by a long shot. Every scar, every bruise – every fight – it had built her into the woman that stood at the sink not trapped in a memory, the one who could still smile even as hell broke loose. 

Taking another deep breath, she slipped into her stiletto heels, holding her shoulders back with pride and strutted out into the room. Price could do nothing but stare, his mouth left agape. If she saw that young woman she once was in the mirror, he had to have seen it as well, and every waning memory they had of that night together came crashing back. Every steamy kiss, every lingering desire-filled gaze, every near bruising touch of his hands on her hot flesh all hung heavy in the air between them. Professionalism had gone right out the window in the moment, and neither of them seemed to care. He swallowed heavily, licking his lips as his eyes trailed over her, making absolutely no attempt to hide it whatsoever and she didn’t want him to. 

Andrew circled around behind her, his hand brushing against her shoulder as he gave it a brief squeeze and smiled at her. “A goddamn heartbreaker right there.” Standing behind her, he unzipped the back of the dress just enough to tape on the mic pack and the wire. The only place Rory had left to look was at Price, who stared right back at her with his brow furrowed, jaw clenching tighter and tighter, the tendons close to snapping. His gaze intensified as he watched the MI6 officer nimbly attach the wire to her with tape, getting to touch the soft hidden recesses of her flesh that he hadn’t been able to in years.

Jealousy? Is that what this was?  

A strap fell loosely down her shoulder and Andrew caught it, pulling it back up her arm, his fingers brushing against her, and Price reared up like a guard dog, the little nerves in his face twitching, his lip curling the way it did just before he attacked an enemy.

“Sorry,” Andrew murmured.

Rory looked down at her shoulder as he replaced the strap, giving a small friendly smile. “Quite alright.”

The buzz of the zipper pulled up her back brought Price’s eyes back to hers, and she swore she could hear the creak of his jaw above it as his molars crushed together. His paws gripped at his thighs as though he was mauling himself to keep control. Days they had been trapped in this room together, forced to pretend like they weren’t constantly watching the other, that they could just focus on the work together, that the persistent feelings that were surely just lust could be ignored. They were trained to push aside those things, trained not to fall prey to emotions and their senses, using their minds over their bodies, but it seemed as though even that held little sway over what was happening between them…what had already happened. SAS survival training had had them both have to strip down in a room full of people and sit in the freezing cold, and yet this – being so close and not being able to act on it – was a far worse form of torture. There was almost a desperation in the way he looked at her, like some part of him wanted to be put out of his misery, and yet, with the way he scowled she knew he was biting it down. He was a captain, her CO for this mission, a superior officer…it could never happen. It was forbidden.

The perfervid yearning that clung in the space between them as much as the smell of smoke did within the room was cut through the moment Andrew spoke, breaking the spell that kept the two of them entwined. “Oh, and one more thing.” He slipped out a pair of brass knuckles from his jacket pocket. “Can’t have you going in there without a way of defending yourself.”

Her eyes dragged away from Price and a quiet chuckle bubbled up from inside her as she took the melee weapon in her hand. “You shouldn’t have, Andy. You really do think of everything.”

He smiled and kissed her cheek, giving her a pat on the shoulder. “Give ‘im hell, Lamb.”

She grabbed the clutch purse from the same bag her shoes had been in, filling it with the fake ID, rubles, and the knuckles Andrew had provided her. 

Price seemed to have broken free of his own fixation that held him and he hoarsely provided the lay of the land for the start of the mission. “We’ll drive you down a few blocks from the club and park there, so we aren’t spotted. You’ll make the rest of the way on foot. We’ll have you on comms the whole time, hearing every word that’s said.”

Rory nodded and gave him a cheeky grin. “So I won’t have to shout if I get in trouble then?”

“No, I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” Price rumbled with a quiet chuckle.

His trademark smirk returned along with the twinkle in his eyes, and she was enraptured for just a moment before taking a calming breath and grabbing the rather elegant and sleek long coat Andrew hadn’t failed to add to the ensemble. “Right, shall we be on our way then? I’d hate to keep our man waiting.”

“Ready when you are, Sergeant.”

[rallamajoop]

Resident Evil's Dulvey Beer

I was going to make a post about this cute little RE7 easter egg I found in Moreau's quarters in RE8, in the form of a couple of bottles of Dulvey beer (Dulvey, of course, being the part of Louisiana where RE7 takes place). But since I can apparently no longer notice a detail like this without accidentally tipping myself down an endless rabbit hole of Additional Context, there is more. Oh so much more!

So instead, lemme tell you all about the weird, probably-accidental meta-narrative of RE's Dulvey Beer, and all the best/worst things that a little innocent asset recycling can bring to your franchise.

See, those bottles of Dulvey Beer (TM) aren't (just) a callback, they're reused assets from RE7 itself. You can find more bottles bearing that logo in a number of places around the Baker estate: on the table in the living room, lying around Zoe's trailer, etc. There's even a fridge in a side-room full of them.

But if you do notice Dulvey Beer at all, it's most likely to be because a bottle is rendered in lovingly high-def on the main game screen.

Nor is RE8 the first time this particular asset has been reused. There's Dulvey beer all over the place in RE2 and 3 as well. There are bottles lying around the sewers where workmen left them. There are bottles sitting around the security station in the Umbrella lab. Those brewers over at Dulvey beer must really be doing well for themselves!

In fact, one of the earliest trailers for RE2, creatively shot from a rat's POV, opens with a close-up of a spilled bottle of everyone's favourite Louisiana beer.

And really, why not reuse it? It's a perfectly good, existing beer-bottle asset, and who's going to notice? (Me. I'm going to notice. And apparently multiple other people who were onto them from the moment that trailer first dropped.)

Moreau's far from the only Dulvey Beer enthusiast in RE8 either. You'll regularly find bottles lying around in kitchens and junk piles ‒ oft as not next to a bag of Half-Whole Flour and a carton of orange juice (being some of the other most often reused assets from this franchise).

One place you won't find any, however, is in the Winters' home. Whether Ethan used to be a beer-drinker back before post-RE7-trauma left him unable even look at the label of the world's-only-beer-brand without experiencing horrible flashbacks, I do not know. But by the time of RE8, he is clearly (as Rose observes) a wine drinker. So much a wine drinker that there are places in his home where you can see nine different bottles of wine in the same shot. (Jeebus, Ethan, there are healthier ways to deal with trauma, y'know!)

But the Winters aside, Dulvey beer is everywhere. What presumably started as an asset meant for just this one family of Louisiana hillbillies has now implicitly become the only beer sold in Raccoon City too. By RE8, Dulvey Beer's international distribution has spread so far and wide you can find bottles even in isolated villages in Eastern Europe! Forget Umbrella, the global domination of Dulvey Beer has gone well beyond anyone's wildest dreams!

Realistically, of course, what we're seeing here is simply an artifact of casual asset recycling. When every RE game since 2017 has used versions of the same engine, it'd be foolish not to borrow perfectly good assets created for previous titles. It's more than likely the team behind RE2 just grabbed the existing beer-bottle asset without even noticing the label, or that they might have inadvertently cast a backwater like Dulvey as the home of America's Favourite Beer (TM).

Most fans wouldn't notice either. Resident Evil is not exactly the kind of franchise that primes you to pay close attention to every little detail.

A little 'lazy' asset reuse can even work in a game's favour. There's only a few generic wine bottle models in RE8 (all labeled 'Regina Rose'), but given that Miranda-as-Mia states outright that she's bought them 'local wine', is it any surprise to find those same bottles throughout Dimitrescu's castle and wine cellar? (Hopefully it's one of the her non-Maiden's-Blood, low-hemoglobin-content vintages, because otherwise, yikes.) But then, where else would Miranda source her wine from?

So whether that connection was intended or just an accident of asset recuse, it's a nice little detail for the attentive gamer. (Mind you, if that same asset does appear anywhere in RE2 or 3, some questions may be warranted.)

Sadly, I am obliged to admit that I could find not a single bottle of Dulvey Beer anywhere in the Spanish territory of RE4. Unlike Eastern Europe, apparently Spain is 'foreign enough' to warrant a whole new batch of generic kitchen/storeroom assets with Spanish names, and the only beer I could find anywhere comes with a new, confusingly blank label.

You can't even really tell that the label is blank from the angles here, but believe me, I spent long enough futzing around with the photo mode from different angles to be sure.

They're so blank I couldn't even say with 100% certainty that these are meant to be beer, but I guess Capcom will be able to get away with reusing them wherever the next game is set, regardless of the local language. And at this point, I can only look on that potential future with disappointment.

Farewell, Dulvey beer! If this really is goodbye, I'll gladly pour a cold one out for you.

[crownmemes]

Twin Peaks Sentences, Vol. 3

(Sentences from Twin Peaks (1990-1991, 2017). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"We can't let personal feelings interfere with our work."

"I wanted so much to be like you..."

"Have you ever experienced absolute loss?"

"I doubt that any one of us is a stranger to grief."

"Do you approve of murder?"

"I think we're at the point where it would be healthier for everyone if you got whatever was bothering you out in the open."

"I'll advise you to keep your eye on the woods. The woods are wondrous here, but strange."

"Do you know what the ultimate secret is?"

"I want to try to make the way my heart feels last forever."

"Do not play games with me."

"Two and two do not always equal four."

"It's best if you forget about me."

"Stop staring at me like I'm a dog biscuit!"

"All I ever really wanted was for him to love me."

"Can't you ever say anything nice?"

"Nothing I do is ever good enough for you."

"Do you want me to beg? Because I'll beg!"

"There are things dark and heinous in the world. Things too horrible to tell our children."

"So this is it? You save my life and then break my heart?"

"Someone must have hurt you once real badly."

"You know, there's only one problem with you: you're perfect."

"You're up to something, but I'm sure that's none of my business."

"As usual, you're overreacting."

"I've been trying very hard recently to get more in touch with my feelings."

"I know what it's like to be alone."

"You're afraid of him, aren't you?"

"I did good, didn't I?"

"I'm living my life, I just don't like it very much."

"Are you familiar with Project Blue Book?"

"Is my death so important to you?"

"Your mind is like a diamond. It's cold, and hard, and brilliant."

"I love you. I've never said that before to anybody in my life. I love you."

"Careful. I'm not sure I can tolerate a nervous co-conspirator."

"Replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones is a form of fashion suicide."

"Men of business frequently find their personal lives disrupted by the larger portraits they paint."

"When you had him killed, was it for art or money?"

"What did you expect? An apology? A hidden heart of gold?"

"If he wanted to kill me, I'd already be dead."

"You two bring out the worst in each other."

"I'm home! Did you miss me?"

"What happened? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

"I hated you at first, of course."

"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me."

"We're all familiar with betrayal."

[denimbex1986]

'Andrew Scott’s success did not arrive overnight. His has been a slow and steady ascent from supporting player to leading man. But his status is now assured: at 47, the Irishman is among the most talented and prominent actors of his generation, on stage and screen.

Dublin-born and raised, Scott first took drama classes at the suggestion of his mother, an art teacher, to try to overcome a childhood lisp. At 17 he won his first part in a film, Korea (1995), about an Irish boy who finds himself fighting in the Korean War. By 21, he was winning awards for his performance in Eugene O’Neill’s Long Day’s Journey into Night, for director Karel Reisz, no less, at The Gate. He arrived in London, where he continues to live, at the end of the 1990s, and worked regularly, with smaller parts in bigger TV shows (Band of Brothers, Longitude) and bigger parts in smaller plays (A Girl in a Car With a Man, Dying City). By the mid-2000s he was well established, especially in the theatre. In 2006, on Broadway, he was Julianne Moore’s lover, and Bill Nighy’s son, in David Hare’s Iraq War drama, The Vertical Hour, directed by Sam Mendes. In 2009, he was Ben Whishaw’s betrayed boyfriend in Mike Bartlett’s Cock, at the Royal Court. He won excellent notices for these and other performances, but he was not yet a star. If you knew, you knew. If you didn’t know, you didn’t know. Most of us didn’t know; not yet.

That changed in 2010 when, at the age of 33, he played Jim Moriarty, arch nemesis of Benedict Cumberbatch’s egocentric detective, in the BBC’s smash hit Sherlock. The appearance many remember best is his incendiary debut, in an episode called “The Great Game”. When first we meet him, Moriarty is disguised as a creepy IT geek, a human flinch with an ingratiating smile. It’s an act so convincing that even Sherlock doesn’t catch on. Next time we see him, he’s a dapper psychotic in a Westwood suit, with an uncannily pitched singsong delivery and an air of casual menace that flips, suddenly, into rage so consuming he’s close to tears. Such was the relish with which Scott played the villain — he won a Bafta for it — that he risked the black hat becoming stuck to his head. In Spectre (2015), the fourth of Daniel Craig’s Bond movies, and the second directed by Sam Mendes, Scott played Max Denbigh, or C, a smug Whitehall mandarin who wants to merge MI5 and MI6, sacrilegiously replacing the 00 agents with drones. (If only.)

There were other decent roles in movies and TV series, as well as substantial achievements on stage, and he might have carried on in this way for who knows how long, even for his whole career, as a fêted stage performer who never quite breaks through as a leading man on screen.

But Scott had more to offer than flashy baddies and scene-stealing cameos. His Hamlet, at The Almeida in London, in 2017, was rapturously received. I’ve seen it only on YouTube, but even watching on that degraded format, you can appreciate the fuss. Scott is magnetic: funny, compelling, and so adept with the language that, while you never forget he’s speaking some of the most profound and beautiful verse ever written, it feels as conversational as pub chat.

Another banner year was 2019: a memorable cameo in 1917 (Mendes again) as a laconic English lieutenant; an Emmy nomination for his performance in an episode of Black Mirror; and the matinée idol in Noel Coward’s Present Laughter at London’s Old Vic, for which he won the Olivier for Best Actor, the most prestigious award in British theatre.

The second series of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s phenomenal Fleabag, also in 2019, proved to a wider public what theatregoers already knew: Scott could play the mainstream romantic lead, and then some. His character was unnamed. The credits read, simply, “The Priest”. But social media and the newspapers interpolated an adjective and Scott became The Hot Priest, Fleabag’s unlucky-in-love interest, a heavy-drinking heartbreaker in a winningly spiffy cassock, and an internet sensation.

Fleabag began as a spiky dramedy about a traumatised young woman. Scott’s storyline saw it develop into a bittersweet rom-com, brimming with compassion for its two clever, funny, horny, lonely, awkward, baggage-carrying heroes, lovers who can’t get together because, for all the snogging in the confessional, one of them is already taken, in this case by God.

It was the best and brightest British comedy of the 2010s, and Scott’s fizzing chemistry with Waller-Bridge had much to do with that. The ending, when she confesses her feelings at a bus stop, is already a classic. “I love you,” she tells him. “It’ll pass,” he says.

Over the past 12 months, in particular, Scott has piled triumph on top of victory, and his star has risen still further. At the National, last year, he executed a coup de théâtre in Vanya, for which he was again nominated for an Olivier. (He lost out to an old Sherlock sparring partner, Mark Gatiss, for his superb turn in The Motive and the Cue, about the making of an earlier Hamlet.) For Simon Stephens’s reworking of Chekhov’s play, Scott was the only actor on stage. On a sparsely furnished set, in modern dress — actually his own clothes: a turquoise short sleeve shirt, pleated chinos, Reebok Classics and a thin gold chain — and with only very slight modulations of his voice and movements, he successfully embodied eight separate people including an ageing professor and his glamorous young wife; an alcoholic doctor and the woman who loves him; and Vanya himself, the hangdog estate manager. He argued with himself, flirted with himself and even, in one indelible moment, had it off with himself.

It’s the kind of thing that could have been indulgent showboating, a drama-school exercise taken too far, more fun for the performer than the audience. But Scott carried it off with brio. In the simplest terms, he can play two people wrestling over a bottle of vodka in the middle of the night — and make you forget that there’s only one of him, and he’s an Irish actor, not a provincial Russian(s). An astonishing feat.

For his next trick: All of Us Strangers, among the very best films released in 2023. Writer-director Andrew Haigh’s ghost story is about Adam (Scott), a lonely writer, isolated in a Ballardian west-London high-rise, who returns to his suburban childhood home to find that his parents — killed in a car crash when he was 11 — are still living there, apparently unaltered since 1987. Meanwhile, Adam begins a tentative romance with a neighbour, Henry (Paul Mescal), a younger man, also lonely, also vulnerable, also cut off from family and friends.

Tender, lyrical, sentimental, sad, strange, and ultimately quite devastating, All of Us Strangers was another potential artistic banana skin. At one point, Scott’s character climbs into bed with his parents and lies between them, as a child might, seeking comfort. In less accomplished hands, this sort of thing could have been exasperating and embarrassing. But Scott’s performance grounds the film. He is exceptionally moving in it. He was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actor, losing to his fellow Irishman, Cillian Murphy, for Oppenheimer. Earlier this year, he made history as the first person to receive Critics Circle awards in the same year for Best Actor in a film (All of Us Strangers) and a play (Vanya).

Finally, last month, the title role in Ripley, a new spin on the lurid Patricia Highsmith novels. That show, which unspools over eight episodes on Netflix, was a long time coming. Announced in 2019, it was filmed during the pandemic, at locations across Italy and in New York. Scott is in almost every scene and delivers an immensely subtle and nuanced portrayal of Highsmith’s identity thief, a character previously played by actors including Alain Delon, Dennis Hopper, and Matt Damon in the famous Anthony Minghella film The Talented Mr Ripley, from 1999.

The fragile almost-charm that makes Tom Ripley such an enduring antihero is there in Scott’s portrayal, but so is the creepiness, the isolation, the fear and desperation. His Ripley can turn on a smile, but it quickly curdles. Filmed in high-contrast black and white, Ripley is a sombre, chilly work by design, but doggedly compelling, and not without a mordant wit. Again, critics swooned.

So the actor is on a hot streak. Later this year he’ll appear in Back in Action, a Hollywood spy caper, alongside Cameron Diaz and Jamie Foxx, above-the-title stars with dazzling, wide-screen smiles. But could they play Chekhov single-handed? They’ll need to be on their toes.

Before our shoot and subsequent interview, in April, I had met Scott briefly on two previous occasions, both times at fancy dinners for fashion brands. Compact, stylish, dynamic, he is impishly witty and charismatic: good in a room. Also, obliging: the second time I met him, he took my phone and spoke into it in his most diabolical Moriarty voice for a wickedly funny voice message to my son, a Sherlock fan.

At the Esquire shoot, on an overcast day in south London, Scott again demonstrated his good sportiness: dancing in the drizzle in a Gucci suit; generously sharing his moment in the spotlight with an unexpected co-star, a local cat who sauntered on to the set and decided to stick around for the close-ups; and entertaining the crew — and hangers-on, including me — with rude jokes. At one point, while for some reason discussing the contents of our respective fridges, I asked him where he kept his tomatoes. “Easy, Tiger,” he said.

At lunch the following day, upstairs at Quo Vadis, the restaurant and members’ club in Soho (my suggestion), the actor arrived promptly, settled himself on a banquette, and we got straight to business. It’s standard practice now for interviews published in the Q&A format to include a disclaimer, in the American style: “This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.” (Well, duh.) In this case, we talked for close to three hours. Inevitably, paper costs being what they are, and Esquire readers having busy lives, some of that verbiage has ended up on the cutting-room floor. But not much! I’ve tried to let it flow as much as possible, and to keep the spirit of the thing, in which we toggled, like all good performances, between light and dark, comedy and tragedy.

In early March, a month before this interview took place, Scott and his family suffered a terrible and unexpected loss: his mother, Nora, suddenly died. He went home to Dublin to be with his dad, Jim, his sisters, Sarah and Hannah, and their family and friends.

As an interviewee and, I suspect, as a person, Scott is thoughtful, convivial and solicitous: he doesn’t just answer questions, he also asks them. He is not above the occasional forearm squeeze when he wants to emphasise a point. He seems to possess a sharp emotional intelligence. Perhaps one should expect empathy in a great actor, but in him it seems particularly marked.

Before we began talking, there was some studying of the menu. Scott wondered, since I eat often at Quo Vadis, if I had any recommendations. I told him I had my eye on the pie: chicken, ham and leek. “Why would you not have the pie?” wondered Scott. A good question.

So, how was your morning? Where have you come from?

This morning I’ve been at the gym, Alex.

Are you working out for a specific reason or are you just a healthy man?

Just trying to keep it going. Exercise is so helpful to me. I don’t know if you know, but my mum died four weeks ago.

I did know, and I’m so sorry.

Thank you. So, yeah. Just trying to keep it going. They say your body feels it as much as your mind.

The grief?

Yeah, the grief. My friend said a brilliant thing last night. She’s been through grief. She said, if you think of it like weights, the weight of it doesn’t decrease, but your ability to lift the weights does. So, if you go to the gym and you’re completely unpractised you won’t be able to lift the weight. But the more you get used to it, the more you can lift. There’s a slight analogy to grief. I’m just learning about it.

Have you been through grief before?

Not really. A little bit, but not to this extent. And it’s a strange thing because, obviously, I’m in the middle of having to talk a lot [promoting Ripley] and making that decision of whether to talk about it or whether not to talk about it. I’m finding myself talking about it, because it’s what’s going on, and without giving away too much of it she was such an important figure. It feels right. It’s such a natural thing.

Is it helpful to talk about it?

I think it has to be. I feel very lucky with my job, in the sense that, all those more complex, difficult feelings, that’s what you have to do in a rehearsal room; you have to explore these things. So strange: a lot of the recent work that I’ve done has been exploring grief. With Vanya, and All of Us Strangers. So it’s odd to be experiencing it this time for real.

I wasn’t planning on making that the focal point of this piece, so it’s up to you how much you feel comfortable talking about it.

I appreciate that.

Was it unexpected? Did it happen out of the blue?

Yes. She was very alive four weeks ago. She just deteriorated very quickly. She got pneumonia and she just… it was all over within 24 hours.

What sort of person was she?

She was the most enormously fun person that you could possibly imagine. Insanely fun and very, very creative. She’s the person who sort of introduced me to acting and art. She taught me to draw and paint when I was really young —that’s another big passion of mine, drawing and painting. She was amazing with all of us. My sister Sarah is very talented in sport, she’s now a sports coach. And my sister Hannah was very artistic and she’s an actor now. So, she was really good at supporting us throughout all our different interests. What I say is that we’ve been left a huge fortune by her. Not financially, but an emotional fortune, if you know what I mean? I feel that really strongly. And once this horrible shock is over, I just have to figure out how I’m going to spend it. Because I think when someone else is alive and they’ve got amazing attributes, they look after those attributes. And then when they die, particularly if they are your parent, you feel like you want to inhabit them, these incredible enthusiasts for life. She just made connections with people very easily. I feel enormously grateful to have had her. Have you had much grief in your life?

My mother died, during Covid. She had been ill for a long time, so it was a very different experience to yours. But I think they are all different experiences, for each of us. I don’t know if that loss would be in any way analogous to yours. But like you, I love art and books and music, and that’s all from her. Last night, I watched a rom-com with my daughter, who is 14. And I don’t know if I would like rom-coms so much, if it wasn’t for my mum.

Love a rom-com! What did you watch?

Annie Hall.

Did she like it, your daughter?

She absolutely loved it. She was properly laughing.

Oh, that’s great!

And she’s a tough one to impress. But she loved it, and my mum loved Woody Allen. My mum can’t recommend Woody Allen to my daughter now, but I can, and that’s come down from her. So it goes on.

That’s what I mean. Your spirit doesn’t die. And I’m sure you went to bed going, “Yes!”

I did! It was a lovely evening, it really was. Tonight we’ll watch something else.

Are you going to watch another Woody Allen? Which one are you going to watch?

I thought maybe we’d watch Manhattan? More Diane Keaton.

Or Hannah and Her Sisters? That’s a good one. Insanely good. Yeah, it’s amazing that legacy, what you’re left with. My mum was so good at connecting with people. She was not very good at small talk. She was quite socially bold. She would say things to people. If she thought you looked well, she’d tell you. She’d always come home with some story about some pot thrower she met at some sort of craft fair. Being socially bold, there’s a sort of kindness in it. When someone says something surprising, it’s completely delightful. My mother sent me something when I was going through a bad time in my twenties. It was just a little card. It said, “The greatest failure is not to delight.” What a beautiful quote. And she was just delighted by so many things, and she was also delightful. And like her, I really love people. I really get a kick out of people.

I can tell.

But there’s a kind of thing, if you become recognisable, people become the enemy? And it’s something I have to try and weigh up a little bit. Because people are my favourite thing about the world. I think it’s part of my nature. My dad is pretty sociable too. And so it’s weighing that up, how you keep that going. Because certain parts of that are out of your control: people treat you slightly differently. But this phase, the past four weeks, it still feels so new. Just thinking about legacy and kindness and love and the finite-ness of life. All that stuff.

Big stuff.

Yeah, it’s big stuff. And it’s very interesting, talking about grief. Because it’s not all just low-energy sadness. There’s something galvanising about it as well. I don’t know if you found that, too?

One of the things about someone else dying is it makes you feel alive.

Yes, exactly. Even though we have no choice, it does that. It’s that amazing thing, the year of magical thinking.

[Waiter approaches. Are we ready to order?]

We are.

I think so. Are we two pie guys?

We’re two pie guys!

We’re pretty fly for pie guys.

Are we salad guys? Tomato, fennel and cucumber salad?

Yeah.

And chips, maybe?

Listen, you only live once.

So, the year of magical thinking…

You know, when you’re walking along, are you allowed to have a surge of joy? Or are you allowed to just stay home and… It’s extraordinary when it gets you.

Like a wave of emotion?

I had one on the rowing machine today. I’m glad of it, though.

That was sadness.

Just loss, yeah. Just loss.

So, there’s two ways to do this. You can choose. We can do the usual interview where we start at the beginning with your childhood and go all the way through to now. That’s totally fine. Or, I can throw more random questions at you, and see where that takes us?

Random!

Shall we random it?

Let’s random it.

OK. That means I might sometimes read questions off this piece of paper.

Reading takes just slightly away from the randomness of it, Alex…

That is a very good point. You are quite right. But I don’t read them out in order! They’re just prompts.

[Sardonically] Oh, I see!

Talk me through what you’re wearing.

Oh, this is so old. What does it say?

[I peer at the label on the inside of his shirt collar. It says Hartford.]

What colour would you call that?

I’d call it a bit of a duck egg, Alex, would you?

I’d go with that. And it’s like a…

Like a Henley?

And these [pointing to trousers]?

Mr P trousers. And a pair of old Nikes.

And sports socks.

When I am off duty, I think I dress slightly like an 11-year-old. You know, when you’re just plodding the streets, I wear, like, a hoodie and trainers.

And you have a chain round your neck.

This is a chain that I bought in New York. No, maybe I bought it in Italy. It was a replacement chain. I’ve worn a chain for years. Sometimes I like to have it as a reminder that I’m not working. When you’re in character, you take it off. Because when you’re in a show or a play, they sort of own you. They own your hair.

They own your hair!

Or sometimes you have to walk around with, like, a stupid moustache. Or, worse, chops. Actors fucking hate that. Like, nobody suits that, I don’t think. Right? I’m trying to think of someone who suits that.

Daniel Day Lewis, maybe? He can carry it off.

He’s got the chops for chops!

What’s something about you that you think is typically Irish?

It goes back to that people thing. When I go home to Ireland, I’m aware that people talk to each other a lot more. And I think there’s a sense of humour that Irish people have that I love. And I suppose a softness, too, that I love. Those are the positive things. And then the guilt and the shame is the negative stuff.

Catholic guilt?

Catholic guilt. I feel very strongly, though, that I’ve worked to emancipate myself from it. There’s a certain unthinking-ness to guilt. Your first thought, always: “What have I done wrong? It’s gotta be me.” That doesn’t benefit anyone. And with shame, I don’t feel shame anymore. I think I probably did before. But in a way, it’s an irrelevant thing for me to talk about now. The thing I prefer to talk about is how great it is not to have that anymore. Rather than how horrible it was. The thing I feel enthusiastic about is how there are so many beautiful and different ways to live a life that aren’t centred on the very strict, Catholic, cultural idea of what a good life might be. Namely, 2.4 children and certain ideas and a very specific life.

Are there positives to be taken away from a Catholic education?

The rituals around grief, I think, are really beautiful, having gone through what I’ve just been going through. And the community that you get in Catholicism. Because that’s what Catholicism is about, in some ways: devotion to your community. The amount of love and support you get is to be admired. It’s the organisation that has been the problem, not the values. Random question number 16!

When’s the last time you were horrifically drunk?

Good question! I was in New York doing press recently for Ripley. And I met Paul Mescal. He had a negroni waiting for me. Love a negroni. And then we went dancing.

Are you a good dancer?

I’m pretty good, freestyle. Slow on choreography but once I get it, I’m OK. I love dancing.

I love dancing.

Do you really? Do you do, like, choreographed dancing as well?

No! But I’m a good dancer.

Do you have moves?

Oh, I have moves.

Ha! I love that!

It’s so freeing, so liberating.

It totally is.

And it’s sexy and fun.

Exactly! It’ll get you a kiss at the end of the night.

It’s sort of showing off, too, isn’t it?

But it’s also completely communal. It connects you with people. Also, you can learn so much about someone by watching how they connect with people on a dance floor. How much of communication do they say is non-verbal? An enormous amount.

If you didn’t live in London, where would you most like to live?

I suppose Dublin. I do live a wee bit in Dublin. But one of the things I feel really grateful for is that I have sort of been able to live all over the place. I lived in Italy for a year, during the pandemic.

You were making Ripley?

Yeah, we were all over. Rome, Venice, Capri, Naples… A bit of New York. I’d love to spend more time in New York. I was very lucky recently to have my picture taken by Annie Leibovitz. We were outside the Chelsea Hotel, and this woman came up. [Thick Noo Yawk accent, shouting]: “Hey, Annie! Why don’t you take a picture of this dumpster? It’s been outside my block for two months! Take a picture of that!” There’s something about that New York-iness that I love. It still has such romance for me.

How old do you feel?

Really young. I don’t have an exact age for you. Thirties?

Some people feel in touch with their childhood selves, or almost unchanged from adolescence. Others seem to have been born an adult.

That’s really true. I think of playgrounds for children: you’re actively encouraged to play, as a kid. “Go out and play!” And I hate that at some point, maybe in your mid-twenties, someone goes, “Now, don’t play! Now, know everything. Now, turn on the television, acquire a mortgage and tell people what you know.” I have to play for a living. It’s so important, not just in your job, but in life. It’s a great pleasure of life, if you can hold on to that. Talking about my mum again, she had an amazing sense of fun.

She was a funny person? She made people laugh?

Absolutely.

That’s important, isn’t it?

It’s really important. I think having a sense of humour is one of the most important things in life. It’s such a tool. And you can develop it. My family were all funny. Laughter was a currency in our family. Humour is a magic weapon. It separates us from the other species. Like, I love my dog. I think dogs are amazing. And he can have fun, but he’s not able to go, “This is fucking ridiculous.” He’s not able to do that! So it’s a real signifier of your humanity, in some ways.

Also, being a funny person, or someone who can connect with people through humour, that’s how we make friends.

I think actors make really good friends. Because you’re in the empathy game. And because you’re making the decision to go into an industry that is really tough, you need to have your priorities straight: “I know this is tough, I know the chances of me succeeding in it are slim, but I’m going to go in anyway.” It shows a sort of self-possession that I think is a wonderful thing to have in a friend. Also, actors are just funny. And a lot of them are sexy!

Funny and sexy: good combination.

I know! Not that you want all your friends to be sexy, that’s not how you should choose your friends.

Oh, I don’t know. It’s not the worst idea.

It’s not. But I think it’s something to do with empathy. And it’s a troupe mentality as well. You’re good in groups.

It’s a gang.

I love a gang. Do you like a gang?

I do. Magazines are like that. A good magazine is a team, a great magazine is a gang. And the thing we produce is only part of it: you put it out there and people make of it what they will. The process of making it is the thing, for me.

Oh, my God. That’s something I feel more and more. Process is as important as product. I really believe that. You can have an extraordinary product, but if it was an absolute nightmare to make then, ultimately, that’s what you’re going to remember about it. You make good things that are successful that everybody loves? That’s lovely. But also, you make stuff that people don’t respond to. So, if you have a good time in the process, and the attempt is a valiant one, and there’s a good atmosphere, if it’s kind and fun, that’s the stuff you hold on to. One of the reasons I love the theatre is you don’t have to see the product. You just do it, and then it’s done. It’s an art form that is ephemeral. There’s a big liberation, too, in discovering you don’t have to watch any of your films if you don’t want to.

Have you watched Ripley?

I watched Ripley once.

And?

It’s a lot of me in it! Jesus!

Is that a problem?

I find it hard to watch myself. I do. There’s something quite stressful about looking at yourself. Have you ever heard yourself on someone’s answering machine? Horrific! You’re like, “Oh, my God, that can’t be me. How do they let me out in the day?” It’s like that, and then it’s your big, stupid face as well. Mostly, I have a feeling of overwhelming embarrassment.

On a cinema screen, I can’t even imagine. Your face the size of a house!

The size of a house, and there’s 400 people watching you.

Nature did not intend humans to ever experience this.

That is so true. It’s not natural.

I mean, even mirrors are to be avoided.

Maybe looking in the sea is the only natural way?

Well, Narcissus!

Yeah, true. That didn’t turn out well. I’d love for that to be a tagline for a movie, though: “Nature did not intend humans to ever experience this…”

But equally, nature didn’t intend the rest of us to gaze upon you in quite that way. We sit in the dark, staring up worshipfully at this giant image of you projected on a screen for hours. Is that healthy?

Without talking about the purity of theatre again, when you’re in the theatre, you, as the audience, see someone walking on the stage, and technically you could go up there, too. There’s not that remove. It’s live. There’s a real intimacy. That’s why I feel it’s the real actor’s medium. Your job is to create an atmosphere. I always find it insanely moving, even still, that adults go into the dark and say, “I know this is fake, but I don’t care: tell me a story.” And they gasp, and they cry, or they’re rolling around the aisles laughing. It’s so extraordinary, so wonderful that it exists. I really do believe in the arts as a human need. I believe in it so deeply. During the pandemic, our first question to each other was, “What are you watching? What book are you reading?” Just to get through it, to survive. It’s not just some sort of frivolous thing. It’s a necessity. As human beings, we tell stories. Expert storytellers are really vital. No, it’s not brain surgery. But, “Hearts starve as well as bodies. Give us bread, but give us roses.” I love that quote.

Tell me about playing Hamlet. Was it what you expected it would be?

It’s extraordinary. Loads of different reasons why. From an acting point of view, there’s no part of you that isn’t being used. So you have to, first of all, have enormous physical stamina, because it’s nearly four hours long. Our version was three hours, 50 minutes. And you have to be a comedian, you have to be a soldier, you have to be a prince, you have to be the romantic hero, you have to be the sorrowful son, you have to understand the rhythm of the language, you have to be able to hit the back of the auditorium — there are just so many things about it that require all those muscles to be exercised. You know, it’s so funny that we’re talking about this today. Because at the beginning of Hamlet, it’s two months since his dad died. His mother has already remarried, to his uncle! What are they doing? I mean the idea that next month my dad might marry someone else is so extraordinary! So, Hamlet’s not mad. Of course he would wear black clothes and be a bit moody. The more interesting question [than whether or not Hamlet is mad] is, who was he before? I think he’s incredibly funny. It’s a really funny play, Hamlet. And it’s a funny play that deals in life and death: the undiscovered country from which no traveller returns. It’s about what it is to be human. And what it’s like to be human is funny, and sad. The language is so incredibly beautiful and it’s also incredibly actable. And it’s also a thriller.

And a ghost story. It’s supernatural.

It’s a supernatural ghost story. And because the character is so well-rounded, I always think of it like a vessel into which you can pour any actor or actress. So, your version, the bits you would respond to if you were playing Hamlet, would be completely different to mine or anyone else’s. It can embrace so many kinds of actors. So Richard Burton can play it or Ben Whishaw can play it or Ruth Negga can play it or I can play it, and it’s going to bring out completely different sides. Did you do much Shakespeare at school?

I did. I studied Hamlet.

I remember Mark Rylance said…

[The waiter arrives with our pies and we both take a moment to admire them before breaking the crusts… The following passages are occasionally hard to make out due to enthusiastic chewing.]

You were about to say something about Mark Rylance. I saw his Hamlet in… must have been 1989, when I was doing my A-levels. He did it in his pyjamas.

I’ve heard. He came to see [my] Hamlet. He said, you feel like you’re on a level with it, and then in week four, you plummet through the layers of the floor and you’re on a deeper level. He was exactly right. Something happens. It’s just got depth.

Does it change you? Do you learn something new about yourself, as an actor?

I think because it’s such a tall order for an actor, it’s sort of like you feel you can do anything after that. Like, at least this is not as hard as Hamlet. You know you have those muscles now. We transferred it from The Almeida on to the West End. So, we did it loads of times. That’s a big achievement.

How many times did you play him?

One hundred and fifty. Twice on a Wednesday, twice on a Saturday. Eight hours [on those days]. Even just for your voice, it’s a lot.

We keep coming back to theatre. Is that because you prefer it?

It goes directly into your veins. It’s pure. You start at the beginning of the story and you go through to the end. When you’re making a movie, it’s a different process. Your imagination is constantly interrupted. You do something for two minutes and then someone comes in and goes, “OK, now we’re going to do Alex’s close-up, so you go back to your trailer and we’re going to set up all the lights and make sure that window across the street is properly lit.” And that’s another 20 minutes, and then you try to get back into the conversation we’ve just been having… And so the impetus is a different one.

The Hot Priest…

What’s that?

Ha! I watched Fleabag again, last week. It’s so good. But The Hot Priest, he’s a coward. He gets a chance at happiness with the love of his life and he doesn’t take it.

Well, not to judge my character, but I suppose there’s an argument that he does choose love. He chooses God. That’s the great love of his life. Whatever his spirituality has given him, he has to choose that. Is there a way that they could have made that [relationship] work? Of course there is. We’re seeing it from Fleabag’s point of view, literally, so of course it feels awful [that Fleabag and the Priest can’t be together]. But I think we understand it, the thing that is not often represented on screen but which an awful lot of people have, which is the experience of having a massive connection with somebody, a real love, that doesn’t last forever. I think somebody watching that can think, “I have my version of that. And I know that I loved that person, but I also know why we couldn’t be together.” And that doesn’t mean those relationships are any less significant. It just means that they are impossible to make work on a practical level. Not all love stories end the same way.

Annie Hall.

There you go! La La Land. Love that movie.

The Hot Priest is damaged. There’s a darkness there. Journalists interviewing actors look at the body of work and try to find through lines that we can use to create a narrative. It’s often a false narrative, I know that. However, that’s what we’re here for! Let’s take Hamlet, and the Priest, and Adam from All of Us Strangers, and, I guess, Vanya himself, even Moriarty. These are not happy-go-lucky guys. Ripley! These men seem lost, lonely, sad. Is it ridiculous to suggest that there’s something in you that draws you to these characters — or is it a coincidence?

That’s a really good question. I think it can’t be a coincidence. Like, even when you said “happy-go-lucky”, right? My immediate instinct is to say, “Show me this happy-go-lucky person.” With a different prism on this person, there would be a part of him that’s not happy-go-lucky, because that’s the way human beings are. If we could think now of a part that’s the opposite of the kind of part [he typically plays], a happy-go-lucky character…

How about the kinds of roles that Hugh Grant plays in those rom-coms? Yeah, the character might be a little bit repressed, a bit awkward at first, but basically everything’s cool, then he meets a beautiful woman, it doesn’t work out for about five minutes, and then it does. The end.

[Chuckles] OK, yeah. I’d love to have a go at that.

Wouldn’t you like to do that?

I would! I really would.

Why haven’t you?

I don’t know! It’s weird. That is something I would really love to do. Because I love those films. There’s a joy to them. It’s something I would love to embrace now. When I was growing up, as a young actor, I did want to play the darkness. With Moriarty, I was like, “I’ve got this in me and I’d like to express it.” And, conversely, now I think the opposite. I know that’s a little bit ironic, given I’ve just played Tom Ripley. Ha! But I have just played it, and I have spent a lot of time in characters that are isolated. And I was in a play [Vanya] that was one person. I don’t feel sad doing those things. It’s cathartic. But I would love the idea of doing something different.

Also, you don’t strike me as a person who is especially morose.

No! No, no, no. I’m not. But again, we all contain multitudes. My mother’s legacy was so joyful. Not that she didn’t have her soulful moments, because of course she did. I mean this as the opposite of morbidity, but it doesn’t end well for any of us, it really doesn’t. So bathing in the murkier waters, it’s wonderful to be able to explore that side of you, but also the opposite is true, the idea of joy and fun and lightness is something I’m definitely interested in. Like a musical! I’d love to be in a musical. I’ve just done a cameo in a comedy that I can’t talk about yet. It was just a day, with someone I really love, and it just lifted me up. But of course, there’s the stuff that people associate you with, and that’s what brings you to the table.

You played a baddie really well, so you get more baddies.

Yeah. You have to be quite ferocious about that. You have to go, “Oh, wow, that really is a great film-maker, that’s a lovely opportunity…” But how much time do you have left and what do you want to put out to the world? I feel like I want to be able to manifest what I have within me now. That’s a wonderful thing to be able to do. It’s such a privilege. And I feel so grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given. But why not get out of the hay barn and play in the hay?

Ripley has been well received. Do you read reviews?

I read some of them.

Why?

I’m interested in the audience. You know when people say, “You should never care about what other people think?” Of course I care what people think.

Ripley is excellent, but it’s quite gruelling to watch. Was it gruelling to make?

Yeah.

Because you have to inhabit this deeply unhappy person?

Maybe not unhappy. But very isolated, I think that’s key. It was hard. There was a huge amount of actual acting. Doing 12-hour days for almost a year. I’m not necessarily convinced you should act that much.

Ripley is himself an actor. He puts on other people’s identities because he doesn’t like his own. He doesn’t like himself. Some people think actors are people who don’t like themselves so you pretend to be other people, assume other identities. Or maybe it’s that actors are hollow shells. When you’re not acting, there’s no one there. No you. Sorry to be rude.

No, it’s not rude at all. I totally understand it. But I find it to be completely the opposite of what I’ve learnt. The essence of acting, for me, the great catharsis of it, is that you’re not pretending to be somebody else, you’re exploring different sides of yourself. You’re going, who would I be in these circumstances? Some of the darkest, most unhappy people I know are the people who say, “I don’t have an angry bone in my body.” Then why do I feel so tense around you? People who have no anger… I remember I used to have it with some religious people when I was growing up. People proclaiming that they’re happy or good or kind, that does not necessarily mean that they are happy or good or kind. That’s the brand they’re selling. I’ve always liked that expression: “fame is the mask that eats into the face.” How do you keep a healthy life when you’re pretending to be other people? You do it by going, “I’m going to admit I have a dark side.” It’s much healthier to shout at a fictional character in a swimming pool [as Moriarty does in Sherlock] than it is to be rude to a waiter in a restaurant, in real life.

You find that therapeutic?

Yes, you’re still expressing that anger. I think it is therapeutic.

So playing Tom Ripley every day for a year, were you able to exorcise something, or work through something?

Well, that’s why I found Tom Ripley quite difficult. He’s hard to know, and a harder character to love. If you think of Adam in All of Us Strangers, you go, “OK, I understand what your pain is.” What I understand with Tom, the essence of that character, is that he’s somebody who has a big chasm that is unknowable, perhaps even to himself. We’re all a little bit like that, we’re all sometimes mysterious to ourselves — “I don’t know why I did that…” — but to have empathy for someone like that is difficult. You know the boy in your class who gets bullied, and it’s awful, and you try and understand it but he doesn’t make it easier for himself? That’s the way I feel about Tom Ripley. It’s a thorny relationship. Your first job as an actor is to advocate for the character. That’s why I hate him being described as a psychopath. Everyone else can say what they like about him, but I have to be like, ‘Maybe he’s just… hangry?’ So you have to try and empathise, try and understand. When we call people who do terrible things monsters — “This evil monster!” — I think that’s a way of absenting yourself from that darkness. Because it’s not a monster. It’s a human being that did this. You can’t look away from the fact that human beings, sometimes for completely unknowable reasons, do terrible things. And that’s why it’s interesting when people talk about Tom Ripley. They say, “Have you ever met a Tom Ripley type?” The reason the character is so enduring is because there’s Tom Ripley in all of us. That’s why we kind of want him to get away with it. That’s [Highsmith’s] singular achievement, I think.

I find reading the Ripley books quite unpleasant. It’s a world I really don’t want to spend any time in. I read two of them preparing for this. She’s a great writer, but they’re horrible characters; it’s a depressing world.

I agree. That’s what I found most challenging. Where is the beating heart here? How much time do I want to spend here? And when you do, well, it took its toll. It did make me question how much time I want to spend with that character, absolutely. That’s the truth.

The way you play him, he’s very controlled. You didn’t play him big.

I think it’s important to offer up difference facets of the character to the director and he chooses the ones he feels marry to his vision. And those are the ones [Steven Zaillian] chose. And he executed those expertly.

Are you a member of any clubs?

Yeah, I’m a member of the Mile High Club. No, no…

That’ll do nicely.

OK, that’s my answer.

What’s your earliest memory?

Do they still have, I think it’s called a play pen?

Sort of like tiny little jails for toddlers? What a good idea they were!

I remember being massively happy in it. My mother used to say she just used to fling me in that thing and give me random kitchen utensils. I don’t know, like a spoon. I’ve always been quite good in my own company. I really remember being left to my own imagination and being very happy.

Do you live alone now?

Yeah.

Is that not lonely?

Of course I’ve experienced that but, ultimately, no. I don’t know if that’s the way I’m going to be for the rest of my life. But I certainly don’t feel lonely. I’ve got so much love in my life.

Would it be OK if you lived alone for the rest of your life?

Yeah. It would be OK. One of my great heroes is Esther Perel.

I don’t know who that is.

Esther Perel. She’s a sort of love and relationships expert, a therapist, and she’s a writer. A real hero, I think you’d really dig her. She talks about relationships and the mythology around them. The difference between safety and freedom. She talks with real compassion about both men and women; she talks about this idea of what we think we want, and what we really want. And how there’s only one prototype for a successful life, really, or a successful relationship. Which is: you meet somebody, da-da-da, you fall in love, da-da-da, you have kids, da-da-da. And that prototype just can’t suit every person in the world. There are some people who live in the world who might see their partner every second Tuesday and that suits them. And to be able to understand and communicate your own preference at any given time is really the aim. To be able to say, “At the moment I’m happy in the way I am, but maybe at some point…” I’ve lived with people before, and maybe I will again, but at the moment it feels right to sort of keep it fluid.

The difficulty, of course, with relationships, is there’s another person with their own preferences. Maybe you’re OK with every second Tuesday, but they need Thursdays and Fridays, too…

But isn’t that the beauty of love? That you construct something, like a blanket. You stitch all these things together. One of the things about being gay and having a life that ultimately is slightly different from the majority of people’s, is you learn that you can create your own way of living, that is different and wonderful. A homosexual relationship doesn’t necessarily have to ape what a heterosexual relationship is. That’s a very important thing to acknowledge. I mean, of course, if you want to do that, that’s brilliant. But you don’t have to. To me, the worst thing is to be dishonest or uncommunicative or unhappy or joyless in a relationship. It’s much more important to be able to have a difficult conversation or a brave conversation about how you feel or what you want. So many of my gay friends, I feel very proud of them, really admiring of the fact we have these conversations. It seems very adult and very loving to be able to acknowledge that the difference between safety and freedom can be real torture for some people. How do I love somebody, and still keep my own sense of autonomy and adventure? That’s a real problem. That’s what Esther Perel says. It’s one of the biggest causes of the demise of a relationship. That people coast along, they can’t have that conversation, and then the whole bottom falls out of the boat.

I wasn’t necessarily going to ask you about being gay. One tries to avoid labelling you as “gay actor Andrew Scott” instead of “actor Andrew Scott, who happens to be gay”. But since we’re talking about it already: because you’re famous, you become a de facto spokesperson for gay people. People look to you for the “gay opinion.” Are you OK with that?

I’ll tell you my thoughts on that. If I talk about it in every interview, it sounds like I want to talk about it in every interview. And, of course, I’m asked about it in most interviews, so I’m going to answer it because I’m not ashamed of it. But sometimes I think the more progressive thing to do is what you’re saying: to not talk about it and hopefully for people to realise that if you had to go into work every single day and they said, “Hey, Alex! Still straight? How’s that going?”… I mean, being gay is not even particularly interesting, any more than being straight is. But I understand, and I’m happy to talk about it. I suppose it depends on the scenario. I just don’t want to ever give the impression that it isn’t a source of huge joy in my life. And at this stage in my life, rather than talk about how painful it might have been or the shame, or not getting cast in things [because of it], actually, I’m so proud of the fact that I’m able to play all these different parts and, hopefully, in some ways it demystifies it and makes people — not just gay people, but all people — go, “Oh, yeah, that’s great that it’s represented in the world, but being gay is not your number-one attribute.” The problem is it becomes your schtick. Frankly, I feel like I’ve got just a bit more to offer than that.

Two reasons I think you get asked about being gay. One is just prurience — you’re famous and we want to know who you’re shagging — and the other is that identity politics is such an obsession, and so polarising, and we hope you’ll say something controversial.

I think that’s right, I think that’s what it is. But sometimes people think there’s just one answer, in 15 characters or less. That’s something I resist, slightly.

All of Us Strangers is about loads of things, about grief, love, loneliness, but it’s also very specifically about being gay. To me, anyway.

Yes, it is.

I thought, in particular, that the scene with Claire Foy, where your character comes out to his mother, was incredibly moving.

Isn’t it extraordinary, though, that you, who is not a gay person, could find that so moving? There’s no way you’d find that moving if it was only about being gay. I always say that coming out has nothing to do with sex. When you’re talking to your parent, you’re not thinking, “Oh, this is making me feel a bit frisky.” Anyone can understand that this is about somebody who has something within them — in this case, it’s about sexuality — that he hopes is not going to be the reason that his parents don’t speak to him anymore. And I think we all have that: “I hope you still love me.” And the great pleasure about All of Us Strangers is that it’s reached not just a particular type of audience, but all types of people. And I love they’re able to market it to everyone. Usually they do this weird thing where they pretend the film’s not gay…

Right. There would be a picture of a woman on the poster.

Exactly. Someone who’s playing the neighbour! But now you’re able to market a film with Paul [Mescal] and I, and the fact is that that’s going to sell tickets. I know there’s a long way to go, but that is progression. Before, that wasn’t the case. This time, no one gave a fuck. Nothing bad happened. The world didn’t explode. Family didn’t collapse.

Identity politics question: there’s an opinion now frequently expressed that gay people ought to be played by gay actors, and so on. What are your thoughts on that?

The way I look at it, if somebody was to make a film about my life — it’d be quite a weird film — would I want only gay actors to be auditioned to play me? I would say that I’m more than my sexuality. But there might be another gay person who feels that’s incredibly important to who they are and how they would like to be represented on film. How do we balance that? I don’t know. I don’t have an easy answer on that. I think it’s a case-by-case thing.

You’ve played straight people and gay people. You’re Irish but you’ve played English people and American people. I would hope you would be able to continue doing that.

The question I suppose is opportunity, and who gets it. It was very frustrating to me, when I was growing up, that there were no gay actors.

Well, there were lots of gay actors…

But not “out” gay actors. Now there are more. Representation is so important. So I think it’s complicated, and nuanced. And talking about it in a general way rather than a specific way is not always helpful. It depends which film we are talking about. Which actor.

You were spared the curse of instant mega-fame, aged 22. Would you have handled that well?

No. I think all that scrutiny and opinion, it’s a lot. Now I’m able to look at a bad review or somebody saying something really horrible about the way I look, or even someone saying really nice things about that, and go [shrugs]. Before, when that happened, it was devastating. But I survived and it was fine, and I got another job and I was able to kiss someone at a disco, so… Whereas if you’re 22 and you don’t have that experience behind you, you go, “Oh, my God. This is horrible, what do I do?” And also, there’s much more scrutiny now, so much more. I think that must be really hard. Social media is a crazy thing, isn’t it?

I think it’s a horrible thing, on the whole.

That thing you were saying about cinema, about how it’s not natural to see yourself, or other people like that… The amount of information that we’re supposed to absorb and process? Wow. You wake up in the morning and you’re already looking at it.

They used to say that the fame of TV actors was of a different order because they are in your home. People felt they knew the stars of Coronation Street in a much more intimate way, while movie stars, Cary Grant or whoever, these were much more remote, almost mythical creatures. People who are famous on Instagram or TikTok are in the palm of your hand talking to you all day.

And it’s so interesting what people on social media choose to tell you about their lives, even when nobody’s asking them any questions. Like, is that person insane? It’s a very dangerous thing. I find it troubling.

Do you think things are getting better or are they getting worse?

That’s such a good question. I have to believe they’re getting better. I don’t know what that says about me.

It says you’re an optimist.

I think I am an optimist.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Fucking hell. Do you know what I don’t like? Any food that you don’t have to put any effort into eating.

Give me an example.

Custard.

Yes!

I don’t mind ice cream, because it’s got a bit of texture. But I don’t like mashed potato. I don’t like creamed potatoes, or creamed anything.

Risotto?

Absolutely borderline. So if it’s got a little bite to it, it’s OK. But baby food. Ugh! Makes me feel a bit sick.

What’s your favourite of your own body parts?

Ahahah! What do I like? What have we got? I don’t mind my nose? My eyes are OK. Like, my eyes are definitely expressive, God knows. Fucking hell. I remember I was in rehearsal once, and the director said, “Andrew, I just don’t know what you’re thinking.” And the whole company started to laugh. They were like “You don’t? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Because I think I’ve got quite a readable face.

Which is a tool for an actor, right?

It can be a tool for an actor. But you have to learn what your face does, as an actor. On film, your thoughts really are picked up.

What’s your favourite body part that belongs to someone else?

I like hands. And I like teeth. Someone with a nice smile.

Are you similar to your dad?

Yeah, I am. He’s pretty soft-natured, which I think I am, to a degree. He likes fun, too. And he likes people. He’s good at talking to people. He’s kind of sensitive, emotional. He’s a lovely man, a very dutiful dad to us, very loyal.

Would you miss the attention if your fame disappeared overnight?

I definitely think I would miss an audience, if that’s what you mean. The ability to tell a story in front of an audience, I’d miss that. Not to have that outlet.

Before you got famous, you were having a pretty decent career, working with good people, getting interesting parts. Would it have been OK to just carry on being that guy, under the radar?

Oh, my God, yes. Absolutely.

Would you have preferred that to the fame?

The thing is, what it affords you is the opportunity to be cast in really good stuff. You get better roles, particularly on screen. And I’m quite lucky. I have a manageable amount of fame, for the most part.

Some people are born for fame. They love it. They’re flowers to the sun. Others should never have become famous. They can’t handle it. You’ve found you’re OK with it.

Do you know what I feel? I feel, if I was in something I didn’t like, if I was getting lots of attention for something I didn’t feel was representative of me, I think I’d feel quite differently. I feel very relaxed, doing this interview with you today. I feel like, whatever you’re going to ask me, I would feel self-possessed enough to say, “Alex, do you mind if we don’t talk about that?”

Shall we leave it there, then?

Thank you. That was lovely.'

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Rewatch Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

I have been specifically asked about continuing, so thank @twig-tea, @lurkingshan, and @waitmyturtles for bugging me to continue.

Last time, Two found out that Third has a crush on Khai and decided to be a bro about it and help. His brilliant plan is to have Third lie about having no money so he can move in with Khai. Cohabitation was a mixed bag. Third still can't declare himself to Khai, and Khai was a total dick about kicking Third out of the apartment for the whole night at one point. Khai came through for Third sorta with the next girl by not kicking him out and then later telling Prigkhing's character to fuck off. He also had Third's mug prepared. Mike's character's romance also began with some cute flirting over movies. I also want to note that these boys are filthy, and a single Ikea date won't make me forget.

A lot of energy went into this couch scene deciding what to do with their booth. I suspect it was meant to reground us in the masculine friendship.

Ep.04 Crazy, Stupid, Love

I forgot how unsubtle the sausage thing was. Men definitely came up with that sales pitch.

I just want you to know that Off is singing.

Third just has no interest in being flirty or kind to girls.

The play flirting that Khai does with Third is so agonizing sometimes.

The Shape of Water (2017) is a great film. Good choice, Paan.

I like putting Gun in a suit on a box so he can be tall.

Fellas, is it gay to feed your best friend on the break, eat and drink after him, and then demand he follow the rule and kiss you on the cheek? Asking for Khai. He is flirting and I don't think he realizes it.

Oh, right. The dark skin comment about Un. 😐

Guys like Khai are why I used to say, "Don't flirt with me unless you mean it."

Third is as bad as one of my movie buddies. He cries at every film.

Third, please get a fucking grip. He matched your answer because you are a sap with easy to read film taste and he wanted a prize.

Strangely, I'm feeling more sympathetic to Bone than I remember being last time.

Not only did Un and Two leave MacBooks just sitting around, they also left it unlocked. Irresponsible.

The hair continuity for Gun is off in this show.

Fellas, is it gay to cuddle up with your friend in a private screening because you're cold?

There's no way Khai doesn't know how romantic this would read to Third. He's kind of a dumbass, but come on, bro.

Okay, so I had memory holed that Khai was testing Third with Bone. I am deeply upset.

Y'all, I am so, so pissed right now. I had completely forgotten that Khai was just playing with Third's feelings to see if Bone was right. This is the exact kind of cruel shit I suffered. We just saw this happen to Zo in Hidden Agenda. I am so not okay.

See, and this is where we get into the primary problem with players. It's fine to have casual sex with people who know what the game is, but it's the playing with people's feelings just to prove you can that bothers me. I had clearly repressed this plot information because this is the exact kind of shit that happened to me and I'm still salty about it 14 years later. It was cruel then and it still hurts now.

I couldn't exactly remember why I didn't like Khai. I wondered if I had also gotten caught up in sex shaming him like Turtles believes Khai haters do. No, it was this shit. Third is his fucking best friend and he couldn't just say it. It's so fucking mean.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Well, this is the best bit of gossip to ever appear on the Elis James and John Robins radio show:

This, of course, goes along with the story that Nish Kumar told on The Bugle of the same football game:

A game that took place when John Oliver was back in Britain briefly at the end of 2017, during which time he appeared on The Russell Howard Hour and apparently played football, but did not stop to do any Bugle episodes, which is fine, I mean it's absolutely fine, we can't all be Hollywood.

Hollywood. Despite the fact that I once made an image listing some coincidental superficial similarities,

I find it quite difficult to picture John Robins and John Oliver existing in the same place. They're wildly different. But if you asked me what I thought would happen if they ever were in the same place, I'd probably guess it would involve a lot of John Robins repeatedly calling him Hollywood.

I can't post that audio clip of Nish Kumar discussing that game on The Bugle without also posting the compilation I made of the evolution of Nish Kumar becoming the British John Oliver, because it's quite adorable:

Anyway, going back to that original clip from the radio show, I also enjoyed Producer Vin hearing comedian football mentioned and immediately asking about Andy Zaltzman. There wasn't any context from before or explanation from after that clip to explain why he'd asked, it sounds like Vin just likes Andy was impressed that they play football with him sometimes. Which is pretty cool. I think Vin's mentioned before that he's a cricket fan, and I am aware that Andy Zaltzman is weirdly, legitimately big among cricket fans, since he does so much cricket commentary and collation of stats. I'm hoping I'm right in remembering that I've heard Vin mention being into cricket, as otherwise that's just an assumption I'm making based on his race. But I think he's mentioned it.

I quite like Producer Vin at this point. Earlier in the radio show, I was a bit disappointed by how their back-and-forth with the producers seemed a lot less fun than what I'm used to, on The Bugle where Producer Chris (and Tom before him) is a beloved figure on the show. At some point I worked out that it's a bit of a different relationship, an independent podcast vs a live radio show. The radio producers are actually accountable to the station to make sure the comedians are saying things that will be good for listenership, so there were more interruptions that were genuine rebukes for going too far off on rants that would be inaccessible to a casual listener, whereas on a show that's a podcast first, you know that everyone has tuned in because they like Andy Zaltzman's inaccessible rants. I've never heard Chris Skinner try to curtail any of Andy's pun runs, for any reason besides to preserve his own psychological stability.

Having said that, after the first 100 episodes or so they settle into a rhythm, interactions with producers got a lot more natural and more fun. I'm at episode 200 now and Producer Vin has only recently started speaking up at times during the chat to hold them to account, not for boring radio standards but for contradicting stuff they've said before, which can be pretty funny at times. I like him. I think he's more naturally funny than the previous producer. Knowing he apparently approves of Andy Zaltzman, for whatever reason, makes me like him more.

Oh, and I also recently heard an episode in which Harry Potter came up, and John Robins said he's a Gryffindor, and I have not identified anyone's Hogwarts House for about fifteen years, but the years I spent doing so instantly came back to me and I looked at my phone and said "absolutely the fuck not, 100% Ravenclaw, few cases are this clear cut." And then a few weeks later they were on with Producer Vin and John referenced the recent episode in which he'd called himself a Gryffindor, and Vin immediately said that was one of the episodes when he was absent, which he knows because if he'd been there he would never have let him get away with that claim, he'd have interrupted to say no, 100% Ravenclaw. And I looked at my phone and said thank you. I like this guy.

This post has covered a fair bit of ground. The original point was supposed to be that I would pay good money to see Old John Oliver and New John Oliver tackle each other over a football. Sorry that I got onto Harry Potter. Fuck JK Rowling but I like Producer Vin.

[marythegizka]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

Was tagged by @illusivesoul

Thank you! 😊

Tagging (if you feel like it, of course): @mxanigel, @lady-carys, @wolfmilk-and-polenta

Answers under the cut! (Quite a bit of rambling there, I'm afraid...)

I have been a fan since:

Favourite game of the series?:

MShep or FShep?:

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?:

Biotics or Tech:

Paragon or Renegade:

Favourite Class:

Favourite Companion:

Least favourite Companion:

My squad selection:

Favourite In-game romance:

Other pairings I like:

Favourite NPC:

Favourite Antagonist:

Favourite Mission:

Favourite Loyalty Mission:

Favourite DLC:

Control, Synthesis or Destroy:

Favourite Weapon:

Favourite Place:

A quote I like:

I have been a fan since: 2021. I had been meaning to try the first game since 2017. I played for one evening, then life happened and I forgot about it. Fast forward to the 2021, when having less work and no longer having a commute made me go 'well, why not use this time to mitigate my existential dread and deaden my emotions with... oh. Okay. Nevermind that'. And then I sank... I don't know, a little under 200 hours into it? Yeah.

Favourite game of the series?: ME2. I think I like the stakes and storytelling of ME3 better (also, I think it was the first game to ever make me cry? Several times?), but ME2 is very character-focused and I just live for that.

MShep or FShep?: Well, I usually play as female characters (the one recent exception I can think of being a M!Cousland because that was the only way marry Anora. I have no regrets.) so I'm not really in a position to compare.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?: Earthborn on my Paragon playthrough, colonist on the Renegon one. (I also started a spacer one but did not finish it).

Biotics or Tech: Both, but for different reasons. I like the visuals of biotics (yes, I really am that shallow), and having an enemy NPC floating helplessly in the air while you take aim is really, really convenient. That said, the 'overload' ability is extremely helpful, and I really like Tali's little drone, so tech is pretty cool too. I just usually make sure I have both in the squad (except for specific missions like the moon base in ME1).

Paragon or Renegade: Hmm, so... I'm going to say Renegon, because Renegade is very entertaining at times, and absolutely awful at other times (particularly in ME3). But my first Shepard was a bleeding heart Paragon. She was just so nice.

Favourite Class: Anything that lets me experience the story without dying too many times (and I play on casual so that's really all of them). That said, I find myself rather partial to the Vanguard's charge ability. It's not necessarily the *most* useful, but it's just too satisfying not to use.

Favourite Companion: Hmm. Well, I love EDI's dry humour and the fact that she becomes more human over time, so I'll just go with EDI...But honestly, it is a tough choice, especially when old grump Javik is right there, and Tali melts my heart, and Liara's arc is so good, and Wrex is too funny but also pretty tragic, and... see what I mean?

Least favourite Companion: Jacob. The thing with Jacob is, I don't even dislike him, I just think his writing is... how do I put it? Not bad, per se, but it doesn't quite pull me me in. He's pretty much the only companion who remained 'a coworker' on all my playthroughs. Other were either 'best pals' (Tali, Garrus, Wrex), great romances (Liara, Garrus, Thane), or downright antagonistic at times but in a way that felt natural and brought something to the story (Miranda and Jack come to mind).

My squad selection: I don't have a fixed one.

Favourite In-game romance: Garrus

Other pairings I like: Miranda/Jack, Javik/Liara, Tali/Garrus, Nyreen/Aria

Favourite NPC: Matriarch Aethyta

Favourite Antagonist: Saren

Favourite Mission: Virmire

Favourite Loyalty Mission: Tali/'Treason'

Favourite DLC: I haven't played them all (I haven't bought the Legendary Edition so they were separate purchases. This means I have never recruited Kasumi or played Lair of the Shadow Broker, any knowledge I have of them comes from the fandom + a couple of videos), but I really enjoyed the Omega DLC.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy: Oh man... I mean... I feel like Control comes with fewer moral downsides in the short term? Organics remain organics, so no consent issues there, and the Geth and EDI get to survive... the only real downside is that Shepard is gone. But in the long term? Who's to say they're not the new big bad? It's the one I went with on my 'Renegade' playthrough and her monologue was pretty chilling. Also, there's a degree of sadness in her being 'still there but gone'. What does the grieving process look like for Liara (or whoever else was romanced)? For Shepard themself? Isn't it lonely up there? I don't know, there are just so many questions. That said I went with 'Destroy' (and high EMS) on my first run because I looked up a wiki as I played and I wanted Shepard to survive. Let her and Garrus adopt baby Krogans.

Favourite Weapon: Ermm. I'm not good with names (or details in general for that matter 😂) but that big Prothean rifle you find in ME2? Yeah. That one.

Favourite Place: Ilium. Again, I am shallow. Though I initially mistyped that as Ilos (again, I am bad with names) and you know what? I love Ilos too, but more for the feels than its aesthetic. Also Liara's reactions. And the music when you get to Vigil.

A quote I like: "You did good, child. You did good. I'm proud of you." Man, the delivery got me right in the feels.

[eyenaku]

YOU SAID SEND ASKS EVEN IF THEY'RE DUMB SO I'M GONNA SEND ONE.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE DAYCARE ATTENDANT WHEN SAW THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME (IN GAME AND IN FANDOM) AND WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKED THEM?

okokokok so basically i was avoiding fnaf like the plague bc i am terrified of animatronics and horrible with jumpscares in particular! but my best friend is a long time big time fnaf fan and so since like 2017 i was consuming fnaf content passively through them, and even since the game came out i was seeing stuff about it i just never got into it bc it wasn't super appealing

i was really invested in afton family lore n such so i got into fnaf because of that but was avoiding most animatronic content bc weee big fear (a few exceptions of animatronics though i.e. ballora) I could not figure out why i was so scared of them but I FIGURED IT OUT!! more on that later-

so fnaf sb came out n ofc I was watching playthroughs on call w/ my friend (before i played it, i played it soon after) and when sun showed up i was very much,,,, not scared of em?? i could not figure out why?? but i didn't really *focus* on them cuz i wasn't super into fnaf outside of afton family stuff

my friend kept sending me sun and moon fanart bc I did not have an upset reaction to them which was abnormal up until that point, and so i started to actively think they were neat! not super into them to the extent i came to be though- but i did figure out that the reason i have no issue with them and do have an issue with outer animatronics is because of their eyes! even moon who has "pupils" doesnt have the horrible doll-like "realistic" eyes most of the animatronics have- which is what was so unnerving about them to me. absolutely hate dolls and stuffed animals with eyes i have no idea why but one day they were just BAD and as a kidd i threw all the ones i had away and never looked back for the most part,,, but anyways sun and moon's designs were very appealing to me as i've always loved clown/jester type designs, celestial designs, pantomime-esque designs, marionette/bjd type designs (every time i draw them they have ball joints even now), etc. i also love love play structures and i've also always lowkey wanted to work in early education or in a daycare so the very environment was appealing! the designs really hit all of my interests AND were free of what was terrifying about the other animatronics

ANYWAYS i think the turning point (like it was for a lot of people in this fandom) was bamsara's work/solar lunacy! up until that point i had specifically avoided and never touched self insert fics + art, but it's so well written it changed my initial views about the whole category entirely ! because of that i was able to appreciate/consume more of the dca fandom content, which has so many talented creators! aside from that i remember being really really invested in 8um8ble8ee's dca work!

the designs being so appealing to my interests is likely one of the main reasons though aya!! jesters! bells! glow in the dark! stars! sun and moon motif! they remind me of those porcelain pierrots- one of my interests is the history of pantomime/commedia dell arte! i really don't think there's one thing about them or one moment i can remember that i was like YOOOOOOOOO!!!! it kinda just took over my brain hdsjkhsad

anyways i do remember distinctly sometime last year going wait- wtf?? because i'd thought this was a small time interest! something small i'd only taken casual interest in for a month or so, like so many other things, but then realizing i'd been making ART (not just consuming media) of them since at least december of 2021??? which is kinda insane to me!! (/pos ofc) before that time i was going through a really messy and just bad point in my life, and one of the ways I was tracking time was by the way my hair looked- i'd gotten obsessed with mykull afton after all the bad stuff and impulse cut my hair into a mullet and re-dyed it my natural colour after having bleached it brown, but this "first" drawing of sun was BEFORE my hair changed?? which i had not realized at all?? somehow in my head it was bad thing->mykull->dca but it looks like i was consuming and creating dca content through it all

anyways hsjhsjakjas i forgot what i was saying but i think i just really really liked them since i first saw em- i just didn't realize how much they had infiltrated my life until later somehow?? so ~may 2022 was when but really it was more like ~dec 2021? they make me so so happy i have no idea what it is to be honest

so ye in-game wise it was sorta on sight, fandom wise it was bc of solar lunacy + 8um8ble8ee !!

i still think its really funny that i like em so much, considering some of my biggest fears are Animatronics, Jumpscares, and The Dark BAHAHAHA