#besides my own anxieties lolol

[picklerocket]

Fuck it. I'm like a furry except my fursona is Thin Man Little Nightmares 2!! MY FURSONA IS THIN MAN LITTLE NIGHTMARES 2 AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!! I DON'T!!!! GIVE A FUCK!!!!!

IT HAS MADE ME CREATIVE AND HAPPY AND MAKES ME FEEL MASCULINE AND HELPS ME IN MY SELF LOVE AND SECURITY OF MY TRANS IDENTITY!!!!!

I DRESS LIKE THE THIN MAN EVERY TIME I STEP OUTSIDE AND I'M PROUD OF MY SELF EXPRESSION!!!!!

I DRESS LIKE AN OLD MAN AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY!!!!!

[wired-heartbeats]

could you please talk about oz? he seems interesting and I'd like to know more about him and you two :)

*cracks knuckles* ohhhhh anon absolutely I can

Okay I’m gonna preface this with some info about both Oz (and my self insert lol), so for anyone unaware, Oz is one of the Playable Characters in Monster Prom, Monster Camp, and the upcoming Monster Roadtrip

(^This Dork^, he’s also my go-to character to play as, he/they solidarity lol)

He’s an eldritch embodiment of Fear and his little blobs that hang out on him are Phobias, they’re technically a part of him and they are just silly little guys. Oz is pretty nervous and careful all around, although they’ve been getting more confident as the games progress, causing more mayhem and venturing out of social bounds more in Monster Camp as opposed to him being VERY anxious and worried throughout Monster Prom, and from the look of some of the teasers, we’re getting OZ LORE in the next game so I’m *rubs hands together excitedly*

As for my Self insert, I’ve talked about them a little bit on here before but I’m a Will’o’Wisp/Dragon combo, in a similar way to Oz’s Phobias I have little wisps that come off of me that’re also a part of me.

(^My most recent doodle of them lol^)

Me and Oz are Platonic and both 🤝 about our crushes, general shenanigans, and being rather otherworldly in nature, we both also befriend Zoe and Calculester in MP: Second Term (DLC) as she’s another very powerful eldritch being who just wants to hang out and have a silly goofy time and he’s a funky robot trying to learn how to people and often is confused by social interactions and is willing to learn.

I’m more forward and outwardly confident then Oz like 70% of the time, and often nudge them towards participating in whatever the hourly nonsense is with the rest of the cast, the other 30% is usually from draining my social battery and Oz takes over the majority of leading for me whenever this happens so I can take a few minutes to recollect so I don’t get burnt out. We both have excellent mischievousness streaks and decent poker faces (he doesn’t usually have a visible mouth and I’m good at masking so it works lolol). We also have, secrets, relating to our species and histories and between the two of us, some of the best emotional management skills out of everyone (besides when we’re flustered lol).

We also positively SHOVE each other at Milo, Damien, and (more in Oz’s case for her), Dahlia, in every attempt to both fluster the other and help them get some. This is infinitely amusing for everyone else with more than one shared braincell which is basically just the other PCs (Amira, Brian, and Vicky) and they do NOT help and often will assist in causing romance-centered shenanigans even at the risk of their own dates much to Oz and I’s exasperation

I also have running friendships with Juan The Magical Small Latino Cat and Valerie, Oz gets along with both of them enough that Val gives him discounts at her shop unless it’s a Plot Device and Juan’ll let him pick a normal drink once a day for once instead of a magical one. They’ve all seen a lick of my usually very well controlled emotions start to go haywire in a few but memorable situations, they both have a considerable amount of respect for Oz as they’re the only one who can seem to get me to reel it back and vice versa, it’s hard to contain the uncontainable lol.

I’m the one who taught Oz back in MP how to help themselves come down from both panic and anxiety attacks, after a situation that Damien accidentally caused. I nearly dragged Damien back down to hell for it myself and definitely gave them both whiplash at not only my immediate abandonment of my own ongoing nonsense to help Oz but my ability to scrap any nervousness towards Damien to break his stubbornness in half and make him either get out of my way or help me get Oz out of there before it got worse. We look out for each other and Oz has a lot of confidence in me not taking too much bullshit from anyone else, even my love interests.

We’re both also giant fucking dorks, ain’t no party like two infodumping immortal-aligned nerds going off about who knows what at who knows when hours of the day

Oops this got more ramble-y than I meant it to but, hey! I enjoy getting to ramble lol, hope this was sufficient Anon! Thank you for giving me an excuse to go off a bit ^w^

TL;DR: We’re giant mostly corporeal nerds who don’t die easy and think we suck at succeeding in romance while also being pals the likes this school/camp has never seen

[hanafubukki]

You know I’ve been thinking. I try not going too far into the jp players side in fear of spoilers, but I just gotta know. With the way book 6 is going, do you see Idia being more comfortable going outside? I finally pulled an Ortho card, it was the robes SR, and I just felt so bad for him? He just wanted to be with his brother outside and take a picture, and it just didn’t work out…Ortho feels like he forces himself to be content with the lifestyle they’ve got, like he self-sacrifices his own happiness/desires for Idia. Which can be cute. But also, no.

And like I totally get social anxiety, and how bad it can really get. But sometimes you just gotta make sacrifices for the ones you love?? Idk…maybe something in book 6 has already explained their relationship and what makes Idia so anxious anyway. I should just be patient but geez. I just want them to take that picture and experience the college life Ortho wanted, together. 😔

Hello Anonie 💕🌸🌺💙

I’ll try and be braod so I don’t spoil much for you.

I can see why you think that and where you’re coming from because at the end of the day, Ortho wants the best for Idia. *cough* A-ahem

You can see that ortho wants idia to have friends and go outside and he genuinely wants Idia to be happy, while Idia wants nothing to do with other people outside of his gaming. And even then, he’s reserved in those interactions too.

As of right now, to put it broadly, we don’t know much about Idia besides his background story (Just a bit, not so much family wise), we learn about his circumstances, we learn about his feelings for Ortho, but do we know him more personally? Not so much, but hopefully that will change in about....7 hours when the last part of book 6 comes out. 

As of right now, before the final part come out, do I see Idia suddenly becoming social? No, no I do not. but it doesn't mean he doesn't try being social for his loved one. 

There’s a future event coming in EN server where Idia is basically forced to well, I guess, come out of his room. You’ll see. Let’s just say that Idia comes to regret making a bet with my precious boy, Deuce. I am very excited for this event!👏👏

But, lets see how Book 6 goes. Maybe something will happen where Idia slowly, slowly goes out himself.

(also, there was a recent JP Event where Idia basically gets kidnapped and forced to go out and interact with others and it was hilarious. so, it’s not like he won't go out unless he needs to say...for his interest lolol)

We do get an explanation of his relationship with the ortho...and let’s just say his view on him had a few people passed off and ready to throw hands lolol but I think that will change with the last part.

who knows, maybe they will after book 6? after all, book 6 dorm plays a role in book 7, so we’ll not only get to know more about diasomnia but the brothers and their relationship too. 

[rfaromance]

can i request....jaehee coming back home and being tired from work, and mc cuddling with her and helping her relax? 🥺

This is my first Jaehee piece, so I hope it’s okay! ;w; Give Jaehee a vacation ASAP.

Bells.

The soft, familiar chime echoed throughout the room, and MC’s head perked up at the sound of it.

“Let me turn that off really quickly,” she murmured, and she gently placed her knife down and patted her hands on her apron. “Let’s see… phone, phone…” MC strode over to the kitchen table, where a single smartphone sat humming that same jingling tune. “There we go.” A simple tap was all that was necessary to shut off the alarm, and as suddenly as it had started, the phone fell silent. “We can’t have her finding out about that alarm, after all.”

Perhaps setting an alarm to indicate the usual time when her girlfriend came home was… embarrassing.

However, if MC had to guess, Jaehee Kang was the type of person who would be impressed with her attention to detail and her dedication to her relationship. After all, as soon as she figured out the average time that Jaehee came home from work each day, she had coordinated her own schedule accordingly. Tonight, MC was determined to show her girlfriend her culinary progress. Last week she had spotted a particularly delicious recipe that she was certain they would both enjoy, and so today, she had shifted her own work hours so she could arrive home with enough time to prepare the meal.

Of course, judging from the fact that her alarm had already gone off, MC’s cooking speed was not quite up to par. “I have to hurry,” she murmured, and with a new sense of resolve, she dashed back into the kitchen to chop up vegetables. Jaehee would be arriving any minute now, after all.

~~~

One hour.

MC wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand as she gazed down at her masterpiece. Warm, steamy rice; heart-shaped carrots and cucumbers; tantalizing tuna tartare; and rolled eggs covered in a heart-shaped ketchup smear. “Perfect!” Her chest swelled with pride at the sight of the meal, and she bit her lip in excitement as she imagined herself presenting her work to Jaehee. “That didn’t take too long,” she murmured, and relief washed over her. Jaehee wasn’t even home yet; she must have only taken… an additional ten minutes? Fifteen at most, if the subway was crowded?

When MC peeked at the clock, she felt all of her enthusiasm melt away and anxiety begin to creep into her heart. “An hour?!” she gasped. “I took that long?”

Note to self: add an extra hour to estimated cooking time.

More importantly, however… Jaehee still wasn’t home.

“It’ll be any moment now,” MC breathed, as she reached into the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of water. “Jumin must have had to talk to her after work, or something like that.”

She set the little kitchen table with two place settings, eagerly awaiting her girlfriend’s imminent arrival.

~~~

Two hours.

Two hours had passed since that alarm chirped.

Curiously, MC’s phone had been silent ever since then. Not a single call or text from Jaehee, or even Jumin. Yoosung must have been playing LOLOL or studying, Zen was probably at rehearsal, and Saeyoung…

Quite candidly, MC tried not to think too hard about what he might be doing at any given moment.

She sat on the couch, absentmindedly trying to read a book but finding her mind wandering too much to actually be able to focus on the words. Where was Jaehee? How was Jaehee? Was she safe?

A clattering of bells suddenly slapped her ears, and MC’s head jerked up and her gaze immediately locked onto her phone. However, the little smartphone remained silent and still. Curiously, MC’s eyes traveled towards the front door.

The sight that awaited her made her jump to her feet. The bells that hung on the doorknob rattled wildly as a familiar figure flung the door open. MC had specifically chosen her bell ringtone to mimic the sound of the bells on the front door; she had never heard those blissful bells sound so frantic, frenzied, and jarring.

One step. Two steps.

Jaehee stumbled over to the couch, raised her hand feebly to wave at MC, and then collapsed onto the plush surface.

“Jaehee!” MC cried, and she immediately dashed over to help ease Jaehee into a more comfortable position. Exhaustion dragged at her eyelids, leaving her amber eyes frighteningly dull. Her soft brown bangs were scattered all over her face, sticking up in odd directions. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Finally sitting upright, Jaehee managed to nod and place a hand on MC’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry you have to see me like this,” she murmured, and her embarrassment became evident as a deep pink flush spread onto her cheeks. “I promise I am fine.”

MC pouted and reached forward to brush Jaehee’s hair back into place. “You don’t look fine,” she stated flatly. She hated to be so blunt, but her girlfriend was the type of person who would prefer straightforward honesty… as long as she was considerate. “Have you eaten?”

Jaehee chuckled softly and shook her head pitifully. “I had… a glass of milk,” she murmured. “Mr. Chairman approved Mr. Han’s latest cat-based project, much to everyone’s surprise. And Mr. Han, ever practical, ever productive, ever business-minded and ever…” She lowered her voice to a mere whisper, as if she were worried about being overheard. “…heartless and robotic,” she continued, and a sly smile flickered onto her lips. How long had she been waiting, desperately, to say those words? “Sorry, I should not speak of Mr. Han that way. He is my boss, he is an RFA member, and he is your friend.”

MC gently lifted Jaehee’s hand from her shoulder and squeezed it tightly. “You can always speak your mind with me, Jaehee,” she assured her. “We’re equals. We’re each one half of a whole.” She leaned forward to plant a kiss on the young woman’s forehead. “And besides, since I am friends with Jumin, I know perfectly well how robotic he can be,” she added with a laugh. “I’m guessing he worked you way overtime, right? The nerve!”

Jumin’s assistant shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, but the shadows in her eyes betrayed how exasperated she felt. “He wants to release a cat clothing line before winter settles in,” she explained. “So that people will buy more of his products to shield their cats from the cold. Plus, once Christmas comes, people will be spoiling their pets. All things considered, he is being very smart about this.”

MC frowned and gave Jaehee’s hand another squeeze. “He’s a brilliant businessman but a bumbling boss.” She grabbed her girlfriend’s other hand and tugged on her arms, trying to lift her to her feet. “Come on, let’s get you some—oh!”

Jaehee let out a sharp cry of pain and collapsed back onto the couch, startling MC. She quickly dropped her girlfriend’s hands and took a step back, trembling slightly. “Did I hurt you?” she gasped. “Did I pull too hard? Oh, no…”

Before the flustered young woman could fly into a panic, Jaehee raised her hand to stop her. “My shoulders are just a bit sore,” she explained. “A good night’s sleep will help me. Assuming Mr. Han doesn’t call me or email me…” she added, and a flicker of fear fluttered in her eyes.

“No. I’ll pick up if he calls,” MC insisted. “And you know what? I’m banning any mention of Jumin for the rest of the night.” She planted her hands on her hips and lifted her chin up high. “I declare that you, Jaehee Kang, are the star of the evening!”

She wasn’t sure what kind of reaction she expected, but a blank look definitely was not at the top of the list. “S-star?” Jaehee echoed. “Me?”

MC nodded definitively. “Yes,” she declared, and her tone suggested that there was no room for argument. “Jaehee, let me give you a massage,” she went on, shifting gears now. Her voice fell to a low murmur, and she plopped down on the couch beside her so she could reach Jaehee’s back. “Before we get you to the kitchen, we need to relieve some of this tension.” She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them up, then gently placed them onto the tops of Jaehee’s shoulders. “Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” she whispered, blowing directly into Jaehee’s ear.

Her girlfriend turned to glare at her, and MC whistled innocently before turning back to the task at hand. Flustering Jaehee was a little too easy… and a little too fun.

The overworked assistant grew silent, however, as soon as MC began to rub her fingers into her exhausted, tight muscles. “God, Jaehee, how do you even move?” MC muttered. “There are more knots in your shoulders than in a shoelace factory.”

“Shouldn’t the shoelaces be free of knots?” Jaehee pointed out.

MC blushed and just continued to rub, massaging Jaehee’s shoulders by moving her fingers in small circles.

“C-could you move closer to my neck?” Jaehee asked timidly. With a simple nod, MC began to dance her fingers across Jaehee’s back, until finally she was able to dig her thumbs into the top of the young woman’s trapezius muscle.

“So stiff,” MC muttered, and she began to massage and pinch with extra vivacity.

“I think I feel better though,” Jaehee informed her. “I can stand now. Would you… give me a hand?”

MC shook her head defiantly. “Nope. I’m bringing your dinner over here,” she insisted. “And I’ll go grab ‘The Jalapeno Topping Was Quite Spicy’ for us to watch while you eat.”

“P-please pick any other one but that!” Jaehee pleaded, and MC giggled as she snuggled up beside her girlfriend to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Okay, okay,” she murmured, and she nuzzled her nose against Jaehee’s (hopefully more relaxed) neck. “But only if you let me sit like this for just a minute longer.”

~~~

“… please move, MC.”

MC shook her head and spread her arms out wide, blocking her girlfriend from entering the bedroom door. “No! I’m telling you, hot water will help your muscles to heal!”

Jaehee sighed and rubbed the back of her neck subconsciously. “Your massage helped me immensely,” she tried to reassure her. “I just want to sleep now.”

“Please?” MC pleaded, now clasping her hands together. “When’s the last time you took a soak in a hot, steamy bathtub?”

Jaehee tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Probably not since I was a child. I prefer showers.”

MC could feel her eye begin to twitch. While Jaehee was eating dinner, she had dashed off to the bathroom to prepare a surprise for the exhausted businesswoman. If Jaehee went directly to bed…

‘My hard work will go to waste!’

“When’s the last time you took a shower, then?” MC pressed. “With how busy you’ve been?”

Jaehee opened her mouth to respond, but then her eyes grew wide and her face grew pale. “I… will go take a shower now,” she mumbled, conceding defeat. She turned around and headed towards the bathroom door.

“I’ll fluff your pillows for you!” MC called out after her, and she turned around to turn the doorknob that led to the bedroom. She could picture the scene in her head already: candles on the counter, a bath full of hot water, soapy bubbles coating the surface of the tub, and the soft lullaby of Zen’s musical album reverberating around the room. Surely, nothing could make her happier and more relaxed—

MC squeaked as a firm hand clamped down on her shoulder.

“You…” Jaehee began, breathing down her neck and into her ear. “You… did all of this for me?”

MC didn’t even bother to turn around. “Of course. I love you, Jaehee.”

She didn’t have to see Jaehee’s face to know that she was blushing furiously right now.

“Do you…” Jaehee began, and the tremble in her voice was admittedly concerning. Did she do something wrong? Should she have chosen different candles? Was Jaehee not fond of lavender bubble bath?

“…care to join me?”

Now that would definitely help Jaehee relax.

[lunarmessenger]

Figure Skating (RFA, V, + Saeran)

I always wanted to be a figure skater hahahaaa so have this! ilysm x - luna (also i couldn’t find the proper gif to show what MC did in Jumin’s headcanon but oh well please don’t hate me)

Zen

• He’d just landed a role that involved ice skating so he’d decided to take lessons right away

• He was already pretty graceful while walking normally so there was no surprise when he’d picked it up right away

• You always attended his practices and one day mused that you’d love to help him practice a scene or two

• He was fully ready to help you out too once you two had gotten to the skating rink

• “Be careful MC it’s pretty slippery when you first step on~”

• “I appreciate that Zen but I think I’ll be okay” and you laced up your skates for the first time in a few years

• He held his hands out for you but you slid right past him and did a couple of laps around the rink to sort of warm up and by now he was like “Oh okay I guess you got it”

• Then all of a sudden you do a toe loop??? On the way to him? Like it was no big deal? And his jaw just about hits the floor?

• “WHEN DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT MC AND HOW COME YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!?!”

• He’s a little butt hurt that he wasn’t told sooner but forgets about it an hour later when you allow him to use you as a model to help him practice for his role (and he gets the excuse to touch your hips and thighs whenever he wants now huehuehue)

Yoosung:

• He was a little nervous since it was a little class trip (and almost decided to just stay home with you and play LOLOL)

• He’s also not very active but never mind that MC “I just don’t want to hurt myself doing this please don’t make me go”

• You do manage to convince him to go since “Yoosung I used to skate and since you can bring a plus one can we go???”

• There was no way he could resist your cute face

• That weekend you both show up to the rink, you excited with your old skates while Yoosung is more excited to show you off to his friends from class (look they’re so pretty I told you guys I have a partner now leave me alone)

• Yoosung clings to you when you both get on the ice but he lets go after about half an hour once he gets a hold of the basics

• “Can I go skate now, can I, can I?”

• Damn it you’re so cute MC “Sure but be careful since they’re being a bit rowdy out there”

• Then zoom you are off before Yoosung can even blink

• When you have enough room you whip out a Salchow and Yoosung is absolutely floored (so are his classmates lol)

• “Did you see Yoosung did you see?”

• “Yes MC let’s go home” He didn’t like how his classmates were suddenly staring at you for the rest of the trip, and he promised you guys could go again when it was just the two of you.

Jaehee:

• She’d found a small coffee club that went ice skating every weekend and figured it’d be a great stress reliever for the two of you (especially since you’d told her that you’d been figure skating since you were a child)

• You were beyond excited, and that alone was enough to motivate Jaehee to try her hardest once you’d gone to the club

• The club was full of both beginners and experienced skaters so everyone was pretty comfortable and it was a judgement free zone

• Jaehee had managed to hop from one foot to the next and was extremely proud mind you because “look MC I didn’t fall this time”

• And while you encouraged her a lot you really wanted to show her what you knew how to do so when the club allowed some space for the more experienced skaters you immediately pushed yourself off the wall and started to skate

• You slowly built yourself up until you pulled off a triple loop, the scarf around your neck twirling with you as you landed perfectly and skated back towards Jaehee

• She was definitely a little enchanted by how graceful you looked and clapped the loudest amongst everyone in the group

• Vowed that you two would go back weekly just so you could teach her how to do that

Jumin:

• He’d had the sudden idea of opening a cat themed skating rink (especially since he’d seen you looking fondly at your pair of ice skates)

• You were so excited (you honestly didn’t care if it were alligator themed you just wanted to skate) that you asked if the other RFA members could join????

• He strongly opposed but ended up giving in anyways

• He also mainly wanted to see Zen suffer from his cat allergy but that was his own selfish gain and not yours

• It was extremely private and everybody was having fun just lazily gliding across the ice (Jumin stayed by the bleachers with a glass of wine he would not be caught dead ice skating)

• And then you finally finished lacing up your skates and you were so excited you almost fell on your way onto the ice

• “MC please be careful; maybe you should sit with me a little longer?”

• He suddenly was wondering if maybe you hadn’t skated in a while because you weren’t that good at it??? Since you almost fell before you even got on the ice?

• “I’m fine Jumin I know what I’m doing.”

• “Alright as long as you—” And he was cut off because you were suddenly gracefully gliding circles around everybody else (who suddenly stopped skating and just grabbed on to the nearby wall to watch)

• Then you suddenly did the flip maneuver (you wanted to do something a bit more extravagant but you didn’t want to fall on accident knowing Jumin would forbid you from skating ever again if you got hurt)

• “Excuse me MC do that again” He pulled out his phone to take pictures and videos (you swore you saw a slight blush and knew he was impressed)

• They all ended up blurry but luckily Saeyoung had managed to take a few photos for him

Saeyoung:

• He’d recently binge watched an anime (you can guess which one) and he was suddenly obsessed with the idea of ice skating

• “MC let’s go ice skating” “What???”

• “PLEASE I know this amazing rink and we can drive one of my baby’s every day to get to it please MC?!?!?!”

• You figured saying yes wouldn’t hurt since he never stayed fixated for more than a month

• And it gave you a chance to get back into doing what you used to be so passionate about

• Of course he knew that you used to ice skate (due to that totally legal background check haha don’t worry about it MC) so he figured you’d go along with it

• He was right damn it

• He beat you on the ice immediately and fell like three times but he didn’t care because he was going to get it down even if he broke a leg to do it

• “Saeyoung please I am not strong enough to carry you back to the car if you hurt yourself”

• You smiled though because it was fun to see him slowly get little jumps down here and there

• “Hey MC can you show me one of your favorite moves?? I wanna see if I can do it!”

• “Okay but it’s gonna be a bit more advanced than I think you can handle right now.”

• “Oh please—” Before he could even finished you pulled out the most stunning triple lutz he’d ever seen??

• He begged you to teach him and you promised you would as long as he kept it up for longer than a month (and you got to come with him of course)

• He tried to pick you up to do a trick with you after two tries and it took you screaming like a banshee for him to put you down “because you will kill us Saeyoung” (he didn’t try again)

V:

• After he’d had the surgery he decided to pick up photography again

• A family friend had wanted him to take photos of his son’s skating for his portfolio for future events and shows

• He’d mentioned it in passing, not knowing how much you loved skating and was a little surprised at how quickly you’d asked if you could come along

• Of course he said yes why would he ever say no to you????

• Once you’d gotten to the rink you tried your best to stay calm since obviously he was there for work and not just pleasure

• But of course you’d brought your skates just in case there would be a bit of down time where you could skate

• There was but only because V asked for it when he saw how excited you were to be there

• You had never laced up your skates so fast, but you were careful because you could feel his eyes on you

• You’d brought your iPod with you for some simple music; it was quiet enough to where it didn’t echo throughout the rink, but it was loud enough that both you and V could hear it

• It was soft piano music, and as it played you gracefully started to skate along the empty rink

• V was completely entranced, and when you decided to do an axel jump in the middle of the dance a small gasp escaped his lips because wow how did he get so damn lucky???

• You were nervous, finishing off the routine and slowly skating back towards V who was on the bleachers with his camera sitting beside him

• “Get any good pictures?” He blushed and looked down slightly embarrassed

• “I uh, no—would you mind doing that again?”

Saeran:

• You both suffered from major anxiety and the only way you managed to get through it was to skate it out at least once a week

�� But he didn’t know that so when you would leave the house for hours on end he was starting to get worried (though he would obviously never show it)

• So he decided to follow you one day without you knowing (and he forced his poor brother to go with him smh)

• “Saeyoung help me find out where MC is always going”

• “...you could always ask her I mean—”

• “No. Shut up and help me.”

• They of course followed you and saw you walk inside the skating rink (though Saeyoung refused to leave his car)

• Saeran stayed hidden in the shadows while you slowly stepped onto the ice and glided around for a moment, rolling your neck and shoulders to loosen them up

• And then you were off, the entire place silent except for the sound of your skates cutting into the ice as you raced around the rink

• You did multiple jumps from an axel, to a lutz, without missing a single step

• He was beyond mesmerized, his eyes focusing entirely on you (he didn’t even realize when he’d started to slowly shift out of the shadows to get a closer look at you)

• Each move was extremely aggressive, and it was then he could tell that you were letting out every frustration and worry in this routine

• Then to tie off the routine and let go of all your anxiety you let one of your legs bend out behind you while you leaned backwards, bringing your arms up for balance as you spun faster and faster and then slowly came to a halt while standing upright.

• You were breathing hard, chest heaving as he let out a soft wow

• “If you’re done spying on me; can I come sit with you?”

• “I wasn’t spying MC” He grumbled, refusing to look you in the eye while you made your way over and sat next to him you reveled in how he blushed at being caught staring

• You apologized for worrying him and pecked him on the cheek, while he looked away again and wrapped an arm around you and brought you closer still couldn’t hide that blush tho huehuehueheuue

[closer-stars]

in which the concert has made me feel emotions, i Don’t Like feeling because vulnerability is uncomfortable especially for someone who is usually the shoulder people lean on. 

lol story time and some words to atz i guess bec why not i guess.

i’ve known atz since kq fellaz, i think a lot of us do. honestly thought kq had sponsored a dance team in korea and decided to market them to the public to get them more views and followers. (i mean korea does fund their culture and arts well so it wasn’t too far fetched of an idea) and just became a casual follower of them since then because well.. dancer stuff lol. i honestly didn’t think they were trainees until i heard they were in mixnine (still didn’t follow cause lol yg). then they debuted, still i was a casual listener because their songs and choreography style were my style but i was more focused on my other fandoms. 

things happened along the way. to keep it short, a bad breakup that made me leave a few fandoms i was in for a while to heal (cons of dating someone who is also into kpop and the same groups ig lolol). i was looking for something to keep myself distracted without leaning too much on my friends because that breakup was just so horrible for me. i didn’t want to annoy my friends with the same story, the same questions, the same frustrations over and over. i hated the idea of wasting time crying over someone that didn’t really.. respect me? I put in my time to translating some of the content just to push away any remnants of my ex from my social media that i can’t delete and for a while it worked but when your ex’s bias is the most popular one it gets Hard. in comes ateez, and i figured, why not check them out. I did, i gave them a chance and it was an experience. They pushed me harder to become a better dancer despite so many difficulties in the dance team i was in while juggling school work (because when the members are my age, it triggers a small part of me to get competitive and existential). They were somehow the distraction and refuge i needed because everything else started to get overwhelming for someone who was healing from a broken heart, low self esteem, existential dread, all the negative feelings i can think of without getting into all the details. They’ve helped me get on my feet again. 

My friends have too, but when you know that your friends have their own struggles to deal with.. it’s not easy to ask for their help. I’ve had to help my friends pick themselves up from near irreversible attempts, mental health issues, psycho-social problems, you name it i’ve had to help them through it one way or another. To keep this clear, this isn’t to gas myself up. Just an explanation as to how friends have eventually leaned on me for strength. It’s hard for me to express my own worries through mere communicating of “I feel bad, I feel worthless, I feel like a failure etc” because most of the time the response has been... flat... unresponsive, not really in the way that you feel and know that they are listening to you. Which is kind of why i resorted to so many creative outlets, it’s the only way I can air out emotions and worries i can’t verbalize in the usual way. So if you ask me “Hey stars, how are you nowadays?” with the intention of wanting to really know how i’ve been. i won’t know how to answer except for the usual, I’ve been okay, been getting through each day. 

so how the fuck do i deal when in comes ateez being vulnerable? being open? (as much as the industry allows them lol). I don’t lmao. I don’t know how to manage emotions that make me near tears. I try to hold it all the time. Besides the feeling of vulnerability, i feel jealousy too. I want to stand on a stage and dance, because that’s one of the rare times i actually feel Alive. Even if it’s for three minutes only, those three minutes are the most Alive I have felt since high school. They keep making me ask myself “what if I just got a little more stubborn? if i lived life a little differently, would i be able to achieve the dream i have? to perform the way they do?”. (one of the reasons why I can’t get myself to listen to odaat is because of the tight feeling in my chest). While I know that it’s one day at a time when it comes to this situation, i feel frustrated still. 

Now at this point idk where this is going.. but like.. To those eight goddamned boys that put me through a rollercoaster of emotions for 3 hours. fuck you guys LMAO. Thank you though, thank you for becoming the shoulder I could lean on until i could get back on my feet. It feels disorienting too, to know that these boys feel the same struggles I did when i started dancing up until now. It’s also disorienting and downright anxiety inducing to know and be aware that both of us share similar passions and dreams, where one is able to achieve it and the other is in limbo (socio-economic factors say hello at this point). Hongjoong and Seonghwa especially, I swear.. The feeling of being the person the leader and everyone else depends on for morale and strength is something I know too well. The feeling of having to keep it together for the sake of everyone is something I’m too familiar with and maybe that’s why they hold a special place in my heart. 

These goddamned boys are forcing me to deal with my own insecurities and anxieties at a pace I’m not familiar with at all and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t have the words for it. 

That letters from atiny of 2019/2020 hit me a lot harder than any of their sentimental songs. I’m hoping idk how long, that in the future, I can stand on my own, find my own direction and achieve things that can make the me of now rest easy from all her worries. I may not be able to verbalize my worries to friends but having songs that speak of it, choreos that visualize it, art that expresses it helps because hell shit’s hard. I’m hoping that down the line, if I get to meet ATEEZ, I want to thank them for being a shoulder I can lean on despite refusing over and over. You shits, I hate feeling vulnerable but HERE WE ARE. here’s to hoping that 2021 is the start of my big break or something lmfao  

[purplesurveys]

773

What’s the name of a song you’ve listened to a lot recently? Prepare for another Hayley answer folks. I’ve been listening to nothing but Petals For Armor this whole week – even lo-fi got a break :o – and Dead Horse is very easily my favorite track so that’s been racking up plays.

Are you texting anyone at this moment? No. I currently have a conversation with Gab on Messenger but replies on both ends are choppy because we’re doing our own thing.

Recently, who in your house has gotten on your nerves the most? It’d be a surprise if someone still doesn’t know the answer to this, but it’s my mom. We just have very different personalities and traits, and that is mostly because I have made it my life’s mission to not end up like her.

Think of the most recent time that you went out to eat with someone, who ended up paying? We split the bill, as we always do. That last time was in my favorite ramen place I now realize :( I miss the outside worldddddd.

Is there anything that’s been weighing on your mind as far as a decision your contemplating whether to act on or not? Explain. Everyday it’s always a mental battle whether I’m touching my thesis or not for that day. It’s such a big deal for me and there’s so much pressure to produce an excellent one that I’m always too scared to look at it, even if it is MY work.

What all has pissed you off today, if anything at all? My mom was making unbelievable statements about ABSCBN (the major network that the government pettily hates and demanded to shut down) and how they deserve the ordeal they’ve been going through...fucking unbelievable. I wasn’t going to let her slide so I offered up my arguments, but I felt her cowering and my suspicions were confirmed when she changed the topic. 

How often do you talk to the person you currently have feelings for? Well I’m already with her, so we talk pretty often throughout the day. It’ll decrease if we’re both super busy, but when it’s one of those days we make sure we at least talk when we wake up and before we go to bed.

When was the last time you couldn’t stop laughing? A Tiktok Angela shared with me. Holy shit it was so funny - it was of a girl going through Twilight and reading every single time Stephenie Meyer used the word ‘chuckled’ with a hilarious voice filter.

Out of all of your friends who have you gotten in the worst fight with? Explain what happened. I super hate having conflicts with people I’m close to, so I honestly can’t tell you an argument I’ve had with a friend even if I try racking my brain for one.

If you had $100 dollars, how would you spend it? I’d rather save it till I’ll have to go job-hunting. I’ll spend the money on gas to go to job interviews.

What’s something you would love to have happen right now? I just want the reassurance that I’ll end up in a good job eventually. This whole period waiting for graduation with nothing happening isn’t good for me, and with the lockdown still in place I’ll have to also wait till I can start legit applying for jobs, so these days I’m essentially just living with double the amount of anxiety I’d normally have.

You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose? iPhone 11 Pro Max.

Which of your classes in school is most capable of killing a good mood for you? Business reporting. Before the quarantine, that class absolutely ruined my Fridays which used to be my favorite day of the week. I had a great teacher who opened every avenue possible to help us because it was objectively a difficult class, but that’s all I saw it as – difficult. All my other classes were okay.

How nice of a person are you, honestly? I’m super nice and am always that way with everyone. Though if I encounter someone with a behavior that I don’t like, like being a lousy co-worker or if they support the government lolol, I’ll be less nice but like still not an asshole. It’s a waste of time being a shitty person to other people.

What good things have happened today? My dad bought Pringles yesterday so I got to have them today and holy shit, they are so so good. It also wasn’t that hot today - weather was still awful of course, but at least I didn’t sweat through my shirt or have to breathe heavily, which is good enough for me.

Can you honestly say that at this point and time you’re happy with the way things are going in your life? Not yet, but I’ll get there.

Is there anyone of your preferred sex who tends to mess with your head? I don’t have a preferred sex.

What have you recently gotten the most compliments on? Honestly nothing. I haven’t been on social media lately because the country is shit and citizens are always saying stupid shit, so I haven’t talked to that many people lately.

When you get to go shopping for new clothes, where do you go to find your clothes? Feliz.

How do you feel about inter-racial couples? You do you. I don’t see anything wrong with it and besides, Filipinos marrying foreigners has always been a common sight.

Have you ever thought you were in love, and then realized later on that your feelings weren’t as strong as you had thought? No.

When will be the next time you travel out of state, where will you be going? I have no clue. All travel plans have been put on hold for a while, so I’ll have to wait until that eases out.

If I were to see you face to face, who would you more than likely be with? My dog.

What is one assumption people make of you, by just seeing you? That I’m grumpy. It’s not inaccurate at all, I definitely have a bit of a short fuse.

When deciding the significance of someone in your life, what is an important deciding factor? How much I can trust them, if we’ve had memorable times together, and if they have the ability to make me feel better when I’m down.

What is something that you have come to realize doesn’t work for you? Trying to have a rational disagreement with my mom. She will always handle conflict immaturely. I will always wonder why she has lasted this long without anyone calling her out on such a poor behavior.

Have you ever grown apart from someone, and then over time you came back into each others lives? Yeah dude, Gabie. I lost her for a while after our first breakup, which was technically two losses for me because she’s also my best friend. We grew apart for around four months but after that we reconnected, patched things up, and realized being friends wasn’t gonna cut it so we ended up dating again haha.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how shy are you? 12 for people I’m not close to, maybe a 6 for those I know well already.

Chose one quality of yours that has caused you problems, explain one situation where the quality was apparent. Mmm when I’m anxious or not having a good day overall, I tend to ignore everyone. I will open messages but not reply to anyone of them, and on the worst days I won’t reply even to the work-related messages. And if anyone asks me if I’m ok or not, it’s going to be seenzoned; if anyone sends me a meme, it’s going to be seenzoned, you get the idea.

I was having a rough time the other day when JM asked me to take over a task for the org, and while I had every intention of doing it, I a) didn’t reply to him, and b) didn’t feel like doing the task until after dinner. When I opened my laptop to get on the job, I already got a message from JM apologizing and saying he had to overstep and do the work himself because he didn’t get a reply from me and because I haven’t done the task yet. I can honestly that’s never happened before and as a perfectionist I was super disappointed in myself and I must’ve apologized to him a thousand times.

Is there something you should be doing right now, besides this survey? Taking a shower.

When was the last time you turned down making plans with someone, why did you? I think it was just that party with Rita’s sister’s DJ friend. I don’t normally turn down plans because I’m always game for anything lol.

Who did you last confide in, what did it involve? I was telling Gabie how much I hate the Mother’s Day posts from everyone on Facebook. I didn’t use Facebook last Sunday precisely because I wanted to avoid seeing any of them, but when I loaded my feed now they were still all over my timeline. I had had enough of waiting for them to go away, so I vented to her.

[lcnguor]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Since she is an OC with her own lore I would say pretty much . Of course there are some heres and theres and she changed a lot from the first time I dragged her out of the void of my head . I originally wanted to make more of a gag character but ended up taking too much of the screen if I’m honest . but of course , since there is many other lores and crossovers are a must , some things change once or twice .

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Nora is a mentor character , supportive and most likely to be the ace under the sleeve like a Kisuke Urahara from Bleach or Sinbad from Magi --- you know there’s something fishy but there is a charm that even thought they are slidding in the background for the main character , their relevance is vast . As a mentor characters , she would often help with insight , understanding of complex things , giving moral lessons and giving others a sense of security whilst also making sure to throw hints about a doubious nature . Keeping a character around her to keep their feet on ground while never shooting down their hopes and dreams .

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She is not approachable unless you have enough guts to -- perhaps even looks intimidating or hard to come up with something plausible to make the meeting more natural . And honestly , she looks like a mainstream angst character at first glance --- even I myself believe this and start having second thoughts ... :laughs:  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  An old project I had archived in my closet of memories (?). She was the main , nameless character of a journal about , well , her and the emotions she had to deal with in the everyday . I will be seriously honest ... it was a self insert :blushes: after all it was like a personal journal I was doing on my darkest days . But after that , she became Sable -- the first character on her own -- who also served as a mentor ( but the story was much more dark , seriously ) and then just came to this . I even used the pre-prototype name lol . The idea was to put the whole story into a RPG pixel game or a short comic series where she ( Sable ) and the protagonist would wander around a city called “Nobody’s Home” , a place were people with “thats” ( what now are called Stalkers ) got dragged into and either confront their emotions and solve / comes in terms with them or get eaten by them ( a metaphor for suicide or dead by mental illness ) . The story was more or less about Sable teaching Nona ( the genderless protagonist ) about different mental states , issues and others and helping people solve them so they can return to the real world . Needless to say , the story ends with Nona returning after coming in terms with their condition ( funnily enough , the protagonist had a bunny shaped emotion ) while on the other hand Sable stayed behind along with her closest friend , who she question why he keeps being around if he could return himself , to what he replies he doesn’t want to leave her alone esp since she can no longer return --- hinting Sable committed suicide but by sheer will power remained there to help others to deal with what she couldn’t . Voez , the friend I mention , is even Victor from her current lore . Haha , I like recycling I guess . When I came with Nora , it was mostly to kill time and altered her base story a bit since the original plot was way to close up to make an interaction .

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  How well received she became , I know it sounds a bit ... uh , bad . But I honestly never expected people to like her . heck I even have my doubts about myself liking her haha . plus I know it’s not easy to deal with a character with a somewhat meta power ... I still struggle from time to time but I’m managing and having the support I have atm is something that keeps me going . I love plot a shit lot . I love to come up with ideas with others . To expand what I already have . besides , there is so much I haven’t write down yet that is about her lore but I’m a bit insecure yet . I guess I’m too used to forums where everyon follows a general plot haha ... old habits die hard .

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / 50-50

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES/ NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / .... UHHHH

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES VERY MUCH A LOT / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I haven’t got any so far --- which honestly surprises me because well ... there is so much that can bother people . as I said , I received a lot of support and praise , which also surprises me haha ... I won’t deny I would love to hear what people think , even if I later end up riding the anxiety train to the moon but it’s also a way to grow up , I believe . god ... I sound like nora Uu

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I absolute love this and need this . It comes easier for me to make a 20 word pages of information about stuff if I’m asking specifically about it . even add explanatory drawings with it lolol since I’m kinda bad with words . besides , showing me interest on a character would just fire the heck out of me to keep going . I mean , everyone likes to get some curiosity and a chance to develop more their characters , canon or not .

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I would for sure . I’m not smart and I actually do a shit ton of research --- but even so I can miss a lot of shit people would say <nah that’s not how it works> and that would be helpful as heckie . but of course , needing the why also would tell me if the person disagreeing is doing it with a solid ground or just because they are being a piece of crap . I’m really tired of tumblr mentality and shitty people who aren’t mature enough to act decently .

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  you cannot like everyone or have everyone like you either . I don’t really care much ... esp since nora is an original character . if it constructive critisism , okay -- I will take it , but gimme a solid reason other than “ your character is / is not ... “ and then give a crappy critique because she doesn’t fit your agenda or standards .

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  you are fucking free to unfollow me and ignore me for the rest of your life . I really don’t get the point of hating on the internet just because and keep promoting your hate just to be a pain in the ass .

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  I fucking wrote in my rules that people are even fricking free to fix my grammar and english because holy heck , even to this day I still do some ugly shit . I’m dumb , help ...

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, kinda . I take everything with water . whenever it’s of ideology , people as it is , characters ... I am quite tolerant and try to keep the “okay this person thinks this way , fine .” but as long as nobody crosses the line where they try to spoil it for me or others , I get super bitter . I love OOC , getting to know the one behind the character makes me feel more secure about coming to them and just rambling about plots and hcs and whatever idea got in my mind . but if I see someone and , forgive me god for misjudging , see them as a person that will put me on my nerves -- I won’t even try . as for the friends I have and those who don’t know me as much ... I am obnoxiously sporadic and have a lot of ups and downs very often . one day I could be talking 100 words per second others I will just take a fucking week to respond . honestly , I had mined my social skills for two years plus several other irl stuff previous to that , so I’m always a bit too anxious around people , esp people I REALLY like . I’m insecure as heck , if someone is vague ( just because , idk , it was a lazy day for them ) I think at least 10 different reason why probably that person hates me now . I’m a bit dumb 26 year old baby .......... but I’m very aware that is completely on me . I’m a mess.......  so , what was the question again ??? ... I , yeah ... it’s a kinda . but I try , at least haha.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ herself Tagging: y’all , cowgirls and cowbois . i hate tagging bc i forget urls :finger guns:

[flamingpossums]

“I know you’re awake, Twells.”

Writing One Electric Boogaloo: The Part Where He Blackmails Him under the cut babey! (Writing one out of one most likely b/c this is just a dumby ask blog and I don’t see myself making more writings on here unless i decide it deserves a writing lolol)

Gene grabbed his hat from on top of the arsonist’s head, holding it to his lap as he crept forwards. His footsteps were distinct amongst the silence of the house.

“Hng...tired… Gimme five more minutes,” Farrow slurred, eyes slowly squinting open. They were immediately squeezed back shut as Gene clicked on a flashlight, shining it directly in his face. “Fuck, man, is that necessary?”

“Absolutely not. Wake up, Farrow. You and I? We’re gonna have a talk.” Gene spoke precisely.

“I’m not talking to mafia scum like you.” An eye squinted open, and Farrow spat on Gene’s shoes. He was in his living room, some of the furniture moved aside out of his reach. The lights were off and the curtains were drawn.

“...Hm. Already defiant, aren’t we? You do understand that the more you disobey, the heavier your punishment’ll be, right?”

“...Punishment?”

“I’m not here to have a pleasant evening chat over tea, Farrow. I have business to settle here. Now listen-- I’ve found that you’re not really the Bodyguard you claim to be, is that right?” Gene’s hand flicked downwards, veering the flashlight below with it. It illuminated the lower half of Farrow’s face.

“Don’t think you need to know, Trenchcoat.” Farrow’s lips curled up into a scowl as he spoke. Amused chuckling followed from Gene.

“No need to keep acting tough, Mr. Twells. Or should I say, Mr. Farrow? Perhaps even the long forgotten Mr. Retner? Whichever one of your identities you’d rather go under today. Go ahead, choose.” From his coat came a briefcase, and from that slim black briefcase he took out a small stack of loose papers-- he held them out to Farrow like a deck of cards. Miscellaneous papers, the lot of them, but all of them shared one common trait: his alibis were written all over them. Farrow’s scowl was wiped off his face.

“Where’d you get these?” He blurted. “I… I don’t even remember half of these?”

“They’re all yours, bud. I don’t tell anyone my sources.” Farrow reached out to snatch them back, but his arms were restrained at the sides. He writhed around and grit his teeth, Gene watching his pitiful attempts and smirking. “I know many things about you, Mr. Farrow. You’re a rather interesting character. More interesting than the pathetic crooks I deal with every other day. So, thanks! Thanks for making my work a little more tolerable.” His eyes squinted up, hinting to a sly smile below his mask.

“What the hell do you want from me?” Farrow growled. “Sure, you’ve found me out. What are you gonna do, reveal me to death? I don’t care. Do it. Have fun with it. By the time they hang me I’ll be back.”

“Ah, yes, your revival. Funny you mention that, actually. Delving into your peculiar mystery of a past I found death records. The first, I was sure it was faked, but the second one? My my, how weird is it that a man found dead would be up and talking to me personally three or so years later? Lucky me.” Gene giggled. “Mendel Slovak-- really interesting character as well. I didn’t look too much into him-- for once that’s not my business--but he did a good favor getting you out of that graveyard, huh? Or, well, dumpster.” Another one of his irritating chuckles. Farrow glared and grit his teeth more forcefully, both out of anger and the anxiety that undeniably started boiling inside him.

“Seeing that if you die you’ll just be revived again,” Gene continued, “my mafia has so kindly arranged a special death for you, if you go against my demands. One you won’t cheat.” He shoved his face closer to Farrow’s, flashlight casting a shadow over it. Farrow pressed his back to the chair, eyes widening. “As I like to put it...they won’t find your body.”

“...Personal space exists, fuckhead.”  Gene backed right back up into his former position. “And what are you asking for? Money? A town? Multiple towns? I’ve got a few up my sleeve I don’t care about anymore, take them. I really don’t care.” Farrow’s eyes went back to being narrowed in a weary glare.

“Not exactly, although that does sound nice. What I need for you is something different. Something more...helpful.” Gene wrung his hands together as he gathered his thoughts.

“Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you, if it means you’ll fuck off.”

“Alright, so, I had a simple request for you, but seeing as you’ve had a...rather rocky past with the mafia, I suppose I should give you a choice in the matter rather than trying to get you to do something you’ll probably obnoxiously refuse to do. See? I’m nice. Usually, I wouldn’t give you a choice, right? But I’m nice.” Another invisible grin crept on Gene’s face as he turned around, back faced to Farrow. “Here’s your choices, Mr. Farrow. Either you can join the Mafia--”

“You’re fucking stupid if you think I’ll ever associate myself with you.”

“Easy, now, I wasn’t done,” Gene spat, pivoting back to face him. “...Either you can join the Mafia, be whatever you’d like-- Mafioso, maybe a Forger, Blackmailer...You name it, and if you’re qualified, you’re under our wings.”

“...And what’s my second option?”

“Well, this one’s a little lengthy. But in the end, it’s fair.” He tapped his own chin in thought. “You’ll tell us the names and roles of your little Neutral friends. As many as you can name. We already know about your brother, so you don’t--”

“You don’t lay a fucking hand on him,” He snarled. “I’ll knock your damned lights out.”

“Hey, now. Nobody’s getting hurt if you play along, Farrow. You’re to tell us about all your neutral killing friends; we won’t kill them-- we can’t, most of them will be night immune. But it’ll give us information to work with.” Farrow remained silent.

“Secondly, you’ll douse who we tell you to douse. This may include some of your friends--none of your family, but ah, maybe a few you won’t mind being picked off. You are not to douse anyone who is in or working with the Mafia, and we’ll make sure of that.”

“This deal sounds terrible.”

“I’m not done yet, idiot,” Gene snapped. “Thirdly, you are to not speak anything about the Mafia. You will not mention us. To everyone including yourself, I’m an Investigator. Got it? You are not to talk bad about the Mafia, and you are not to tell anyone of the existence of the Mafia. Zip.” Gene made a zipping gesture over his mouth. Farrow simply rolled his eyes. “If you do as much as mention the Mafia, you’re dead, and you’re not coming back. Understand that? Dead forever.”

“Wow, I’m so scared. I’m, like, shaking right now.” Farrow scoffed. “The hell’s in it for me, then, if I gotta do all this bullshit?”

“Many things, Farrow. I am working with you, not against you. First of all, if you keep up to my demands for two weeks--that’s it, two weeks of your compliance is all I need-- your secrets are safe with me. The town’ll be blissfully unaware of your presence as an arsonist, your past, your alibis, every single one of your major and trivial crimes. You won’t be hung up in the middle of town. And most importantly, your family and friends shall remain safe and sound. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“My...hold on a minute. And if I refuse to do all this garbage?” Farrow furrowed his eyebrows curiously.

“Well, then all your secrets are out, and the town’ll be running to hang you in an instant. Your friends and family’ll quickly find their way as targets for us, and we’ll do anything in our power to swiftly take care of them.” Gene smiled and cocked his head. “I think you’ll find it wise to play with us rather than against us. We take all this very seriously.”

“You fucker. Do whatever the hell you want to me, whatever, kill me in your favorite way or whatever, but leave them out of this.”

“Sorry, Farrow. I already know you value your life as much as you value, ah, a crack in the sidewalk. We need to have something of actual value at stake here, Mr. Twells.”

“You’re not fucking touching them!” He writhed some more, but the ropes weren’t giving away anytime soon. “Literally, take anything you want, my house, my money, whatever! I don’t care! I don’t want them pulled into this shit!”

“Rules are rules, my friend.” Gene chuckled, backing up a bit. “Besides, I’ve set up an easy deal for you. Just do what I ask of you and they’ll be spared. It’s not that hard!”

“We’ll just kill you, you bastard. We’re stronger than you are! You and your goons’ll have your intestines strung up like decorations in your stupid base! My dad’ll fucking shred you!”

Gene smirked.

“Mm. I’m afraid if you attempt any sort of aggression or violent action towards us, we’ll have all of you neatly arranged dead on the ground right tucked into the alley between this house and the neighbor’s. Remind you of anyone, Farrow?” His eyes squinted up in the smuggest smile one’s ever seen.

“...I’ll fucking kill you, you little bitch.” Farrow started thrashing in another attempt to get out of the ropes, anything it’d take to get his hands wrung around Gene’s throat. “I’ll kill you!” He shouted.

“We’ll be having none of that, Mr. Twells.” Gene calmly packed up his suitcase and tucked it inside his coat. Ana flew onto his shoulder following his familiar welcoming whistle, simply tilting her head at the man seething with rage right behind the two. “I suggest you start watching your words from now on, Farrow. I’ve so cleverly bugged you, so anything you say’ll be tracked and logged. No naughty words, alright? We’re watching.” Gene looked over his shoulder and tilted his head. Ana mimicked him, cocking hers to the right as well. Farrow ceased his futile struggling, slumping down in the chair in defeat and breathing slightly heavily. His neck, usually numb, started sending aches down his shoulder and the side of his face. Listening to whatever jargon he has left for him, he glared daggers into Gene.

“Remember the deal I made with you, alright? Feel free to write it down for yourself once you’re free. Just don’t show it to anyone, alright? I’m watching you, Farrow.” He winked.

“Fuck you,” Farrow murmured.

“Two weeks.” Gene held up two fingers, nearing the door. “Two weeks is all. I’ll be seeing you, Farrow. Farewell.” He flicked off the flashlight and set the hat back on his head, tilting it as a goodbye.

“Wait!” Farrow called out. “I’m still tied!”

“Oh, you know well if I untie you you’ll just go for my throat. Your dad’s coming home soon, anyways. Ask him to do it for you.” He giggled. “See you!” He opened the door and shut it behind him.

Farrow lay still for a minute, eyes wide as he tried to process exactly what had just gone down. He couldn’t slide lower into his own chair due to the ropes.

This guy, although hard to admit, knew almost everything about him. He even knew about the smallest things that happened almost 15 years ago!

“God, fuck me,” he grit.

The ominous shadow looking outside the window disappeared into the night the instant Gene started hightailing it home. The clouds gently wafted along to eventually uncover the kindly shining gibbous moon, and the winds picked up outside the house. A creak sounded out from the attic. Farrow shut his eyes and considered just sleeping this off. He waned into sleep….

A loud crash sounded out, and a grown man fell out through the attic. He landed on the floor and swore a bit, quickly getting up. His hands were full of cat food.

“Shit, sorry about that, mate.” Farrow, already disturbed, stared at him silently. “Where’d the guy go?”

“Were you there the entire time? Who...who even are you?!” The blonde man winked and stuck out his tongue playfully.

“I’ve gotta go! Nice seeing you!”

“Wait, wait! Untie me! Fuck, come back!” The man turned around and grinned.

“You’re lookin’ awful tied up, aren’t ya? Aww, that’s too bad. But you’ll be fine, don’t sweat it!” He stood silent, just grinning, the two staring at each other for a solid few seconds. “...Well, bye!” He slammed the door shut.

“Fucker!” Farrow screamed, kicking his own chair. He threw his head back and groaned audibly. Now there were two grown men hightailing after Gene, each for their own entertainment. Farrow sat still tied up in his own living room, and the night dragged on.

[florencebdfan]

50 QUESTIONS  TAG GAME

FINALLY I got to do this. VACAY time, YAY. 

I was tagger by @ditzymax thank you, and I’m sorry for the delay. 

I wanna tag some people, but mainly @yeoldontknow @kpopfanfictrash @underthejoon @kihobebe 

Have an amazing day!

___

1. What takes too much of your time?

Work, basically. 

2. What makes your day better?

Having time for myself, and by that I mean reading fanfics, watch dramas, read books and all the thigs you do to clear your mind. 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I kinda just woke up, but yesterday I got time to study and get some things done, which is very nice for an ADHD person.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Hogwats, obviously. 

5. Are you good at giving advice?

No. I usually just listen. The advice I give is very poor actually. 

6. Do you have any mental illnesses?

ADHD and anxiety. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes,  more than once. it sucks. 

8. What musician inspired you the most?

At the moment BTS, but not only them throughout my life. 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes.

10. What’s your dream date?

Staying in and talking. Or having a conversation at a cold place outside at night? Lol, does this make sense?

11. What do others notice about you?

Eyes

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Forgetting things, but that’s part of the ADHD whole stuff. Also, hair rolling? I usually take a strand of hair and roll it forever lol. 

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

We haven’t met in years, but just for lack of opportunity. We don’t have mutual friends anymore, so...

14. How many ex’s do you have?

some.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Hundreds.

16. What instruments can you play?

None at the moment. I started learning the keyboard, but that’s already lost. 

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

Jung Hoseok

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Japan

19. What is your zodiac?

Aries

20. Do you relate to it?

Yes and no. I am not angry at the world, nor do I state my opinions in a fierce matter so that people think I am rude or something. I can be loud though. And I get angry on the inside but can control  myself to not lash at people impulsively. 

21. What is happiness to you?

Peace of mind.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Stress. Work stress. 

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

Trusting and forgiving a bad friend.

24. What’s your favourite store?

Stationary stores

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Pro.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

No.

27. Do you have a favourite album?

Not really.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Peace of mind

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

No idea honestly. I have no idea of what people think of me firstly. 

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Early twenties. Sometimes late teens.

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my nightstand beside my bed.

32. What word do you say the most?

Absolutely no idea, but I mutter to myself the f word all the time lolol.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

No idea, but I don’t really like too much older.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

Around 24 maybe? I am old for the fandom. 

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

I don’t think no one has ever said that I would suit any other carrer than my own.

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

Rock, Pop, K-Pop. 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Canada or Australia. Or New Zealand. 

Not considering the language, i could live in Japan too. They have AMAZING life and home hacks, and I am not even starting to talk about their healthcare system because NICE!

38. What is your current favourite song?

I think at the moment Lay’s What U need

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Huuuuh.....2016 I think. 

40. What are you excited for?

VACATIONSSSSSS! Freaking FINALLY!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

None? I mean, definetly listener, but i tend to space out a lot, and when i talk I cannot explain what I want properly. 

Welcome to my ADHD. 

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Study yesterday. 

43. What do you want for Christmas?

To not work, but that’s already a given.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

When in college I used to get good grades on surgery classes.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

8

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?  

Working less, hopefully.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

16

48. At what age do you want to get married?

Not in a rush actually. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Veterinarian, but I found out I love animals too much to see them suffer, especially on the hands of bad hoomans. 

50. What do you crave right now?

Chocolate always. 

[daehwifi]

dating is like ⇀ min yoongi

- admin xion

genre: fluff/head cannon member: bts/min yoongi word count: 1, 401 s/n: hmphphph that’s right i’m writing for yoongi because i want too & because i watched this video and i’m soft- // highkey unedited, i can’t be bothered- 

↳ warnings: none

prompt:  what’s it like dating a giant cold marshmallow 

right off the bat, i’m just gonna say how yoongi is the type to care for someone on the lowkey 

by that i mean he overall pays attention to little detail

say for example you’re sick and needed to take medicine every 5 hours... every 5 hours, yoongi would remind you or like bring medicine for you and scold you if you didn’t 

lolol he’s deadass a tsundere lemme just get that out of the way- 

now how did you two become friends to lovers? 

definitely a lot of trust and common interest 

i honestly don’t think yoongi is the type to venture outside of his comfort zone if it’s not something he’s familiar with 

for example: he’ll like try a new genre of music because he loves music or try new pieces of clothing because he likes clothing but i don’t think he’ll 

a lot of laughing together and probably just overall knowing each others  backstories and the ups in downs in each other lives 

i feel like that is a big thing with yoongi he’ll appreciate a lot about if you knew that sort of stuff and still loved him for it 

you’re would be someone who’d yoongi trust a lot when he’s comfortable enough to cry in front of you

everything would just be calm? like the day you two officially a thing would be like you two sitting at the edge of a curb or something at night just talking about whatever 

and you look to your side and meet his eyes 

then yoongi would just place his lips against yours and everything would be warm and soft 

lots of hand holding at first 

a lot of clinging onto each other as well 

but not the annoying type?? 

like the type who’d pout whenever you can’t hug him or hold his hand but you two are still perfectly fine from being restrained to do so 

if you ever borrowed his clothes, he’d actually like it a lot 

but if it was something expensive he’d be like “make sure not to spill anything on it though” 

on the inside, he’s dying over how cute you look

actually, he’d love it a lot if you borrow any of his casual clothing like his hoodies, t-shirts, flannels...

it just shows possession on how your his and like you look good in them too so- 

yoongi would probably love to spoil you 

he’s the type to know a lot of little details such as your habits, your taste in clothes, foods, or like sizes in such clothing 

so sometimes he’ll come home with a bag and it’ll have like a classy simple dress in it 

couple items wouldn’t be really out there 

it’d be more like a promise ring you two would wear often or a necklacke

matching earrings could be a thing too or matching hats 

oof that’d be cute 

comfortable silence is a big Y E S from yoongi 

sometimes he’d just come home from work, hug you and place his chin at the top of your head and just stay like that for a bit 

talking can require a lot of energy at times and yoongi drains himself from working a lot 

so the fact that you two would be able to share comfortable silence would be really perfect to him 

a lot of aesthetic selcas of each other or like just you two being memes- 

yoongi would probably have his wallpaper of the two most important things in the world to him

you and holly- 

arguments wouldn’t pop up too often

mostly you two arguing over something stupid 

but if it is something serious, he wouldn’t want to talk for a few days 

and that’s because he’s too scared he’ll say something he’ll regret

so he’d rather cool off, come back to it with a clear mind and forgive each other 

members would sorta use you as his weak point

like jimin would be complaining of something

“yoongi won’t let me borrow his jacket i’M COLD-” 

yoongi would faintly chuckle as he’s scrolling through his phone 

“i bet he’d give it to y/n though,” jimin muttered and oHHH BOY

he honestly couldn’t hide his smile no matter how hard he’d try

“alRIGHT HERE YOU BROUGHT OUT MY WEAK SPOT” 

also if their arguing over something stupid and yoongi knows he’s in the wrong but still puts it up

keep in mind, it’s over something stupid so it’s most likely being taken as joke 

they’d bring you up like “DO I NEED TO CALL Y/N-” 

and he’d just surrender 

BUT BUT 

sometimes they’d actually call you and he’d think you’d side with him

sike you side with his members and he’d be all defeated about it and whine to you when he comes home 

on the cases where you do side with him, he’s all giddy and lovable hehe 

long cuddles and long silences as all 

like yoongi could be talking and he’d stop his sentence midway and you’d still understand exactly what he was trying to say

like you could finish off his sentence if you wanted too 

loves calling you 

i feel like yoongi lowkey hates texting because he can’t hear your voice 

so if he’s overseas he’d call you at night until you fell asleep 

on rare occasions, he might even face time you?? 

sharing songs you two like is also really important 

i can imagine him having a playlist filled with songs you two jam too and it’s overall really adorable and soft 

his heart also melts a lot if you know the lyrics to his part in a song

yoo if you knew his part in cypher four he’d bE SO GUMMY ABOUT IT AND JUST UWU

likes doing stuff for you

like one day he’d just sit beside you and be like 

“hey, can you teach me how to braid hair?” 

and you’re like what your hair isn’t long enough and he’s like nono

“i wanna braid your hair”

and ouu boy he was terrible at it 

whenever he was bored he’d probably practice or something and it’d be really cute 

as time passes on, he’d slowly get better and better !!

he’d sacrifice his own happiness for yours 

say for example you had to do something and it was giving you major anxiety, yoongi would take time out of his own schedule to do it for you 

probably like saves you concert tickets if you wanted to go to one of their concerts hehe

when he spots you in the crowd he’s all gummy like and it’s uwu 

gives the performance 110% because he wants to impress you 

likes feeding you or being fed LOLOL I JUST HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY-

enjoys sharing his inner thoughts with you

long conversations of purely anything

truly just being comfortable with anything and being with each other for a long time 

highkey so soft for you

when asked how was it spending like 7 months away from you he’d say it felt like hell or something

but when asked the same question for holly he’d probably be like i’d wanted to die- LOLOL

getting tired of doing simple things 

like the boy can get up and be like “ah thats enough for one day-” 

him sleeping on your shoulder in public 

asking you to fix his hair up all the time or if he looks good 

but when you ask the same questions he’d be like “why are you even asking? you always look good” 

as yoongi’s s/o i feel like he’d feel bad for you a lot 

because he’s an idol and everything and sometimes he’ll be super duper busy and won’t be able to contact you

and although you understand and you trust him completely with that, he’ll still feel bad as a boyfriend and would be sorta homesick because of that

especially when you two are catching up in each others lives and you tell him everything he missed while he was away, he’d feel like utter shit since he missed out on memories of you being happy 

that’s where you sorta have to come him and just love him with your whole entire hearts, letting him know that it’s okay and you’ll still love him the same 

cough anyways

you know those dorky couple ulzzang pictures? 

yeah, that’s basically your relationship with yoongi in a nutshell- 

[error-what-blog]

Saeyoung | The Stars

Hey @thebluerosemaiden, I’m sorry this took over a month. Hah, I nearly forgot because I was so focused on what was in my ask box. So sorry about that! Anyways, I tried my very best to make this bittersweet the way you asked. Anyways, I hope you enjoy~♡

Mc loved him. She loved him so much. She wanted nothing more than to just plant her lips on his and eradicate all of his doubts, fears and agony. 

But the reality was, she could not do that. 

Saeyoung was a very complex being. He had spent many years being solely devoted to his job and being connected to other people was a huge no-no. 

So when he was in Rika’s apartment working on securing Mc safety and all of a sudden his brother showed up, bearing a lifetime’s worth of resentment for him caused him to completely bury his feelings for Mc and get his brother back. No matter how much he hurt anyone, Saeran was his top priority. 

So he did the only thing he could think of to make Mc not like him. Hurt her. He did everything in his power to “protect” her from him. But not even Saeyoung himself could ever make Mc forget the grief he put her through.

It was quiet in the apartment, save the sound of Saeyoung’s fingers tapping rapidly against the keyboard of his laptop. 

Mc was beyond bored. She could not leave the apartment with the threat of being kidnapped still out there and Seven had not been exactly kind to her since the re-appearance of his brother. Not that she blamed him, Saeyoung had just witnessed his own brother actively try to kill someone he held dear.

Mc had noted that the hacker hadn’t eaten yet and the hours of the day were passing by. 

16:44. 

That couldn’t be healthy. Mc decided that she would make something for herself and for Seven… just to elminate the tension that permeated throughout the apartment. 

Once she prepared the simple dinner, she padded her way to where Saeyoung was hard at work. She was nervous, Seven was cold and unapproachable so coming to at least notify him of dinner caused an explosion of anxiety to circulate in Mc’s gut. 

“Seven?” 

No answer. 

“Seven.” A little louder but still no reply. 

Mc made her way towards him, lightly tapping him on the shoulder. Mc could practically breathe in the distaste radiating off of Saeyoung as he was pulled from his work. Mc had to prevent herself from physically showing her pain from the blunt “what?” she recieved.

“I made dinner. Um I can bring it to you if you want.” Mc hated how vulnerable and weak she sounded. She hated the fact that this man had so much control over how she felt without even realising it. 

“… I’ll eat it later.”

“Please, Seven, you haven’t eaten all day,” Mc pleaded, knowing that he wouldn’t eat later like he said. 

Seven could feel the guilt settle in his stomach at his next words. “Mc I have actual problems to deal with so if you’re going to start nagging me then I’ll go to a different room and it would be in your best interest to leave me alone.”

With that, Mc turned tail and left. She only returned once with the plate of food, left it on the floor beside him and he didn’t see her again until the following day.

It was still fresh in Mc’s mind; all that he said to her. They were all the same, more or less. Each word that Seven bellowed described the entirety of his ‘hatred’ towards her.

But how was Mc supposed to know that Saeyoung didn’t actually hate her. That it was the exact opposite. She wasn’t a mind-reader. 

There was no way for her to know that whenever she smiled, Seven’s heartbeat would increase by tenfold or whenever she said his name, he had to dedicate all his energy into not pouncing on her and claiming every bit of her as his own.

And because Mc was under the impression that she was bearing feelings for a man who detested her, she did the only thing she could to protect herself from a world of hurt… 

And that was to slowly, but defintely surely, let go of her love for Saeyoung. Mc knew herself better than anyone and she knew that she would not be able endure the heartache that follows an unrequited love. 

So it began when Saeyoung decided to go after Saeran. Instead of going with him, she opted to stay at Rika’s apartment. This was “Phase One” of moving on. Distance and time to be alone with her feelings. Seven had been so glad when Mc didn’t go along because he would not be able to live with himself if anything had happened to her. 

Although he didn’t know that she spent the time he was gone crying for a lost love. A lost chance. An unknown opportunity. 

“You’re not coming with me, Mc,” Seven almost spat at her. The loathing for his own being doubled as he saw a flash of pain in Mc’s eyes. 

“It’s okay, Seven. I know. I’m going to stay here. I have a party to organise.”

The hacker only nodded, turning his back and then leaving. Unbeknownst to him, Mc stood behind him with a sad smile stretched across her lips. In that moment, she knew that this would be the last time she would look upon Saeyoung with the love she had for him. In the time he would be gone, she was going to sort out her emotions and not show her face to him again until all she could do was consider him a friend. 

Now here she stood, ready to be reunited with her friend. And ready to meet his twin brother. It had been weeks since she had seen the red haired male. Mc was confident that she was no longer in love with Seven. When she thought about him, all she could feel was the love of a platonic friendship. 

Even now, as Saeyoung wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, her heart stayed the same. No skipping of beats or increase of her pulse. Just the relief of seeing him alive and healthy. 

However, Seven observed Mc. There was something different about her. She seemed so close to him but also in the same reach as he was to the stars. He could no longer feel the warmth in her gaze or the lingering of her arms around him in the hug. 

It became painfully apparent to him then; Mc had moved on. He had suceeded in his intetions all those weeks ago. All the spews of hatred and animosity has triumphed into what Seven would consider his greatest mistake. 

“Hello, Saeran, I’m Mc. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Mc shook the hand of his brother, smiling gently as she became properly introduced with the man who had turned her life upside down. 

Saeyoung could see the blush creep onto his twin’s cheeks as his hand connected with Mc’s. 

This was it. 

It was Saeran’s chance at a happy life. Seven would not interfere. He would stay well away from Mc and do nothing to potentially re-kindle any of her feelings for himself. 

For now, Saeyoung’s love story with Mc was over. 

Only to be continued in his dreams. 

But in reality; just as in reach as he was with the stars. 

AHHH, I hope you enjoy this. I eventually got this finished lolol, there were so many power outages today!

Requesting is open!

Masterlist!

[mystic-messenger-writing]

Hi! First of all, I'm sorry for my bad English uwu.. I have always read request about a sad situation in which it affected a lot of MC, those of RFA went and they comfort her. I was thinking *And since I like angst content haha ;w;* what would happen if RFA + V and Saeran, had a heavy day, are very down or depressed, to the point that they don't speak, don't respond to chats or even interact with MC . What would MC do to comfort them? I love ur content, keep it up! 3

I really love how unique this request is! I like writing about comforting the RFA and friends because I want to give them the love that they deserves! So thank you for the request and I hope that you enjoy! ^^

Yoosung

Yoosung wasn’t expecting to feel so utterly depressed after visiting his cousin

He had finally come to terms with all of the horrible things Rika had done but he wanted to see her one last time

Without telling anyone, Yoosung went to visit Rika at the mental hospital

All she did was spit vile and hurtful words towards the younger boy, making him feel completely useless

You noticed that Yoosung’s normally bubbly personality drastically changed to one of somber

Not wanting to pry too much, you set up a game of LOLOL and a bowl of Honey Buddha Chips at his computer desk

Yoosung dragged himself to his room to see you gently patting his chair, giving him a soft smile

He didn’t say much but you could tell that your boyfriend was starting to feel some joy again

Yoosung never truly told you what happened to him to make him so depressed but he would always remember how precious you were to him, he didn’t need anyone else in his life besides you

Zen

Zen never would have imagined being depressed could make him feel so hopeless

After learning that he wouldn’t play any role in a popular upcoming musical plus having his motorcycle break down was awful

But to make matters worse, Zen’s parents decided to call him and rant on about how he was a disgrace to the family

He usually never took his parent’s words to heart, but today was different as their words felt true to him

You had never seen Zen so upset before, you missed his deep voice, upbeat attitude, and random singing

So you pressed his head against your chest as he finally let the dam break and the tears rolled down his cheeks

You gently hushed him, reassuring him that everything would get better as you combed through his long hair

When he composed himself, Zen apologized for being weak and thanked you for being there for him when no one else would

Jaehee

It was always the toughest time of the year when the day of Jaehee’s mother’s passing came around

But this year it seemed particularly worse since her work load kept piling up meaning more stress in her already busy life

Jaehee felt as though she didn’t have anytime to herself, that she was failing her mother and wouldn’t make her proud

When you found out about Jaehee’s depression, you decided to take her to a therapist

While it did help somewhat, you knew that she needed support from you most of all

So you would make her a large, warm cup of coffee and bring in some baked sweets while the two of you watched Zen’s musicals on DVD

You would put a blanket around both of you so that Jaehee would feel more at ease, which truly helped her

Jaehee would always have a piece of her heart that would belong to her mother but the rest would forever belong to you

Jumin

For being the so called man with no emotions, Jumin surprisingly had a large amount of anxiety in his heart

Having to become the perfect businessman and living up to everyone’s expectations would be rolling on anyone, including Jumin

After failing a particular important business deal, Jumin felt like he was utterly worthless

As much as he tried to hide his sorrow, you were the only one who could see through his netrual face

You made Jumin get a warm shower and when he came out, you presented him with homemade pancakes in the shape of a cat head

Jumin smiled at your silliness and already felt himself become happier and once the two of you finished, it was family cuddle time

You, Jumin, and Elizabeth all laid down on the massive bed with you holding your husband in your arms

Feeling your warmth and love would always be the only thing would always make Jumin happy and he made sure to always be there for you in return

Seven

Seven had recently failed his past two hacking jobs, both of which meant a huge blow to his agency

All of this stress and frustration took a toll on Seven, he completely shut down

He wouldn’t eat, sleep, talk, or even crack a cringy joke, he would only half-heartedly work

Seeing your boyfriend so down made your heart ache and you knew that you had to help him

So you would quietly sit next to Seven as he worked and helped relax him anyway that you could without disturbing him

You would rub his shoulders, pick out soothing music to listen to, bring him his meals, and even try to crack some of your own corny jokes

Seven truly appreciated your efforts and they genuinely helped him feel better and motivate him to finish his work

With you in his life, Seven knew that he could always overcome his depression and face whatever life threw at him thanks to your love

V

It was days like this where you felt V needed to learn how much of an incredible person he is

He was going through some old photos and stumbled across one with Rika and the twins on it

V must have stared at the photo for an hour, silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought about all of the sorrow and grief he put those boys through

He believed that everything was his fault, V completely shut himself off from everyone and wallowed in sadness

But you weren’t having it, you knew that it was solely his fault and you had to make him realize that

You walked into his room, noticing him hugging his knees to his chest with teary eyes, as you sat beside him and showed him the photos you gathered

They were of the RFA being together and all be happy or goofy, the two of you laughing at the one where Seven was trying to steal Elizabeth away from a very angry Jumin

V wrapped his long arms around you and quietly thanked you and at that moment, finally understood what true love was

Unknown

Saeran had plenty of good and bad days but today was one of his worst

After waking up from a nightmare, Saeran kicked you and Seven out of his room and demanded neither of you disturb him

You patiently waited for Saeran to calm down and open the door but he refused so you went to get a bowl of ice cream to coax him out

But you froze when you heard his muffled sobs coming from his room, you felt your heart tear apart

Seven finally managed to pick the lock to his brother’s door and let you enter to comfort him

Saeran weakly told you to leave but you refused, knowing that deep down, he needed your comfort

So you silently held him in your arms and told him all of the reasons why you love him while he ate his ice cream

The two of you spent the day laying in bed together, with Saeran finding comfort in your warm embrace

No matter what troubles or depressing thoughts plagued him, Saeran always knew that he could turn to you for comfort which is something that he would forever love you for

[all-alone-he-turns-to-stone]

Some Dylan and Soup

This is short and probably full of mistakes but actually full of good intentions. For @mf-despair-queen who doesn’t feel good recently, to show you I care, I love you with all my heart and I wish you hapiness and kindness, to show my passion and devotion to your blog and talented writings, here’s the fic you kinda asked me. I wrote it in 2 hours, so it is probably very bad. But who cares (I do lol) here is some Dylan comfort fic. Exactly 1900 words of you and Dylan. I love you, Mal. Don’t ever forget that. And I hope you’ll enjoy this fic as much as I enjoy your writings. And yes I put myself in the fic. Lolol.

Part 2 is here folks. / And part 3 here! / And here’s part 4 ! / Part 5 hihi

Knock knock knock

Three distinct, rapid knocks brought to the front door startled me, too absorbed in my contemplation of the void before me consisting of the television screen shut. After long hours, tears finally stopped flowing on my cheeks but my eyes still burned for having cried too much. And all the handkerchiefs piled up in front of me testified to all my repressed suffering.

I was sitting on my couch in my living room, wrapped in a blanket, alone. I hadn’t had the strength to open the television, eternally fixing the void while enduring the emotions brutally stabbing my chest.

Knock knock knock

The blows became stronger, faster and more pressing. I looked up at the entrance, not moving at all. If I didn’t respond the person would get bored to wait and leave me alone. No matter who it was, he didn’t care about me. Nobody cared about me. I was alone in my grief and guilt.

Knock knock knock knock

The persistent person continued to knock at my door. Without ceasing, without taking a pause, the knocks were made only more and more persistent. Then a voice on the other side resounded in a lost corner of my conscience. I recognized the color of the voice that came to put life into my limbs.

“Mal, it’s Dylan, I know you’re here …” A pause on the other side where I imagine very well my friend and forever crush passed his hand in his messy hair while his tongue licked his lips, nervous and worried. “I … I’m here for you, please open the door.”

No sound came out of my mouth, my eyes still staring at the closed door. The silence grew and I even thought for a moment that he was gone, but a slight knock confirmed the opposite.

“If you don’t open, I will stay here, in front of your door and wait as long as it takes. And you won’t have the pleasure of eating some of my specialities. ”

A low laugh, almost a sigh gently lifted my chest. My eyelids closed while a thin smile, barely raising the corners of my mouth, appeared on my face. My legs retaliated under the action, but I got up and walked slowly towards the door that I unlocked and opened to see him in front of me.

Dylan had his back turned to me and passed his hands through his hair. As he heard the door open, he swiveled quickly and my eyes met his pupils colored with honey which lit up by seeing me in front of him, the blanket still on my shoulders. He wore a black sweater with long sleeves, something simpler but beautiful as well as a pair of black jeans. His eyes became tinged with sadness when he saw what condition I was in and didn’t hesitate a moment before coming to take me in his arms. He walked towards me, his arms wide open and his brows furrowed with anxiety. As soon as I felt his embrace against me, his warmth and his comforting odor, new tears came to burn my eyes which I tried to hide, huddling my face against his chest. After taking a deep breath to memorize his smell, I slowly passed my arms around his chest to squeeze him against me, feeling under my fingers the indistinct forms of his muscles under his sweater.

Dylan gave the best hugs. He succeeded with this simple gesture to momentarily chase my deepest pains, illuminating my darkness and my dark thoughts with a comforting and warm light. His wide arms were still around me and I could feel his chin on the top of my head. I wished that this moment never ceased. But we were in front of my front door which was still open so we had to go inside.

“You have to cook something for me …” I murmured against his chest in a hoarse, broken voice, a voice I had not heard for too long. Without leaving our embrace, Dylan walked with me in his arms, making me step back. Then he closed the door with his foot and guided me to the living room where he took the time to sit me down while placing my blanket against my chin. I looked up at him and crossed his sad eyes. I did not want him to leave me alone. My hand pulled out of the blanket to catch him by the sweater and he smiled tenderly, smile that could cure cancers. No joke.

“I’ll only go prepare you something to eat, Mal. I’ll get back,” Dylan whispered tenderly, and his words came to pinch my heart. So much kindness, I didn’t deserve so much kindness. His hand passed softly through my hair and he leaned down to lay his lips on my forehead, leaving them there for a moment before removing them and heading to my kitchen, leaving me and leaving my heart in a state of intense drumming.

Time passed and the coldness of solitude returned, although I knew Dylan was in my kitchen not far from me as I could heard the cacophony that resonated in my silent apartment. A ton of questions and remorse continued to cling to my heart like thorny lianas while I waited for the actor to come back, hoping he would come back. After a moment and a few sounds of broken plates, I heard footsteps approaching. I looked up to see Dylan, stains of food all over his clothes and hair, a bowl in his hands also stained and especially a small shy smile stretching his lips, subtle but adorable. My heart seemed to live again.

Dylan sat down beside me and I turned my head towards him as he handed me a bowl of tomato and rice soup. I stared at the bowl, at him and then looked at the bowl again.

“I know, it’s not the best meal you’ll eat, but I didn’t know what else to do, so I just warmed up a cane of soup I found in the bottom of your pantry, still eatable hopefully,” Dylan stammered, feeling guilty about not being able to do more. For my part, my eyes filled with water before the attention he had paid to me. It was just soup but it meant everything to me. Seeing that I was crying again, Dylan’s eyes began to panic. “I can cook you something else if you don’t like soup, like uhm make pancake? Or some… ”

“Soup is perfect,” I quickly replied by swallowing, removing the dish from his hands to put it on my legs crossed in front of me. Without looking at him, I took the spoon and brought soup to my mouth, immediately feeling the warm and comforting liquid coming down my throat. “How …” I started playing with my spoon in the red liquid. “How did you know that …”

“Audrey called me. She gets a lot of worries for you, you know? And me too. ”

“Nobody cares…”

“That’s not true. I care. Audrey cares. A lot of people care. You are not alone. You will never be alone. We love you. I love you.”

At the sound of the three simple words, my hand froze and my eyes left the steaming bowl to turn my head towards him. Dylan had stood in his seat and had his elbows on his knees, his lips forming a thin line as he pulled out his tongue to lick them nervously. My mouth remained open, both shocked and surprised that these words came out of his mouth. I had the biggest crush in the universe on Dylan O'Brien. And to hear him say his words, to be there for me, so much kindness brought to me, it was too much. New tears came over my eyes. But even before I could add anything, Dylan pointed out my bowl of soup with his venous hand I liked so much.

“Eat a little. I put a lot of effort into it. ”

My dry lips stretched a little to form a smile that was both sad and filled with a new feeling. Hope? Relieved? Wellness? The pain was momentarily gone. And that precise moment, just the look we exchanged, succeeded in making me forget my pain and worries.

My hand caught the spoon and took another sip of my soup.

After I finished my soup, I put the bowl on my coffee table and snuggled a little more in my blanket while staring at the pile of used handkerchiefs on the floor that I hadn’t bothered to pick up. Dylan didn’t seem to notice, however, and focused all his attention on me.

“Do you want to watch TV? Change your mind? ”

I glanced at Dylan staring at me waiting for an answer, passing his hand against his chin and few days beard that suited him so well. My eyes caught something above his head in his hair, and without answering him I came closer to him and lifted my arm. He froze, not immediately realizing what I was trying to do until my hand reached a lock of his hair covered with tomato sauce that I cleaned out.

“You have sauce in your hair,” I laughed softly before wiping my fingers on my blanket, having the last worry to dirty it. Dylan’s brown honey eyes remained on my face and for a moment I wondered why. He had something in his way of looking at me that would usually make me feel uncomfortable but at that moment, it was only gentle, tender and … filled with love. My hand stood up again and went to rest on his head, slowly passing through his hair which was very soft under my fingers.

“Your hair is so soft,” I murmured, leaning my head to the side while looking at him. Then, without taking my eyes off me, Dylan pointed my blanket.

“Wanna give me some place?”

I shyly shook my head as I pulled my hand away from his head. Dylan withdrew his shoes and snuggled close to me under the blanket and placed my head against his shoulder gently. Sobs broke out again and just before I burst into tears, I heard him humming the air of my favorite song, the vibration of his voice was both calming and comforting and the sound of his voice soothed my sobs. My head descended and landed on his chest, just where his heartbeat sounded with a steady rhythm. My heartbeat calmed down and took the same rhythm as his own while his hand traced circles softly on my arm.

That night we didn’t watch television, it wasn’t necessary. Dylan was there for me, he hummed all the songs that were familiar to me all night, whispered soft words and stayed with me until I fell asleep, exhausted. And the next day I woke up beside him. He stayed and remained all day, calling his producer to tell him he couldn’t come to shoot his scenes because he was sick, only to stay with me. And we watched the first three seasons of my favorite TV show that day, tomato soup as the only food for our stomachs and love for my crumbling heart which slowly began to find its broken pieces put together with Dylan’s presence.

[anyway-i-love-vanderwood]

I requested MC with selective mutism a while back but just for vanderwood and saeran, could I get that same prompt with the whole RFA + V? - Kas

✿ Oh wow you’ve stuck around for a long while! That was ages ago! Thanks for your support, and double thanks for contributing to my Ko-Fi!

Here’s the original!

Yoosung

He doesn’t care. Like he just - doesn’t care. Like he’s been forming these complex, indepth relationships on LOLOL and yeah, sometimes he voicechats, but half the people don’t so he’s completely comfortable with navigating a conversation where he speaks and the replies are all in text. It makes for some hilarious logs later, and sometimes you go back and laugh about them.

He gets you into LOLOL, and it’s freeing to be in this entirely text-based world where you don’t have to speak. It doesn’t matter. For once? Everyone is on your level!

When you join in on raids and people voice-chat to communicate, it’s easy enough to accommodate you and your particular needs. If you don’t have the time to type something you need to say, you macro it! Yoosung shows you how. It’s easy!

What a world of wish-fulfillment, far from the noisy and chaotic one where everyone just wants to hear your voice.

Your text communication with him is very nuanced. Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words, and a meme is worth a thousand more, and when he asks you what for dinner and all you send is shrug.jpg?

Well, he snorts and has his answer.

On the voice-chatting program, you become the “guild robot” who occasionally pipes up using text-to-speech. You often use the artificial voice to stay things that are absurd yet hilarious. There’s an entire five minute bit where you all die laughing over how it pronounces kumquat.

(Every time you think of it, you snicker.)

Zen

With Zen, it’s a lot of tugging on his jacket sleeve and pointing.

He’s shockingly good at silent communication; is it his skills as an actor? He’s used to projecting so many emotions that he’s amazing at interpreting them in others. To him - your face is an open book, and gosh, does that make things easier.

When you’re overwhelmed, he’ll take you on a motorcycle ride. He’ll order for you at the counter so as to not make a big deal of things, and he’s fine with the silence and with texting you under the table. It gives him a chance to look at your face, anyway, to star at you lovingly and watch you squirm as he calls you his cute babe♥.

It kinda... freaks everyone out, honestly? People ask him if he’s a mindreader, because half the time, you don’t even need to tell him what you’re thinking. Sometimes, he doesn’t even need gestures, he just looks at you and knows.

He says it’s because he knows you well; they say it’s some kind of advanced telepathy device.

it’s not ‘they’ it’s seven it’s seven who’s saying all this

Zen likes it when you rely on him, and he’s wholly and entirely supportive as you go to therapy and as you slowly, carefully start to come out of your shell.

He’ll be there, he says. You’re my precious angel; how could I do anything else?

Jaehee

Briefly, Jaehee is disappointed, and admittedly a little perplexed. You don’t talk? she thinks, her fantasies of sitting beside you in front of Zen’s musicals and singing along crushed with a single sentence. She tries not to be sad. She tries to understand. But -

She can’t help it. It’s there, it’s unavoidable, but she doesn’t blame you, and she reorganizes her fantasies and moves on.

Instead, it becomes the buzz of her phone when she’s stuck late at the office, a message from you or, perhaps, a picture. It becomes your smile on a moonlight night, or the way you giggle at one of Zen’s hammy lines. the milky white fuzz of a whipped-cream mustache on your upper lip and how she wants to reach out a thumb to wipe it awa- 

(Jaehee pauses then, adjusts her collar, and gets back to work.)

It doesn’t occur to her to ask why; she figures if you want her to know, she’ll know in time, and if you don’t - well. That’s alright too. Your history is your own to share as you please, and she certainly knows how painful it is to let others know about what’s happened to you. 

She becomes used to finding notes from you. Good luck, Jaehee! slipped into the tax forums. Today’s going to be great! lying on top of the coffee beans, and You look pretty today! taped on the mixer she uses to make her cakes. She smiles, and makes you a latte with a heart formed from the cream.

Jaehee learns the sound of your footsteps, the particular way your shirt rustles when you walk by her. Jaehee learns the difference between a sniff of amusement and a sniff of disapproval, and when it’s an alright time to hold your hand.

After what feels like no time at all, she’s forgotten even the possibility of her old wishes, like they’d become so unimportant she’d forgotten they’d ever existed in the first place. What remains isn’t silence - it’s filled with a million small things she might not have noticed otherwise.

Jaehee’s entire life has been about rushing and doing things as fast as possible, and now that she has a chance to slow down and listen...

It feels good.

Jumin

When he says that he wants to hear your voice, your heart shatters because you know you can’t speak, even for him. But when he says that just hearing you breathe is enough - just knowing you’re alive, knowing you’re listening - it’s put back together again, and you have to press your hand to your mouth to keep yourself from crying.

You’re an odd pair, the shiny, pristine businessman and his partner, the one that won’t talk. But you’re also a good pair, as what Jumin needs isn’t really validation... but to be understood. And you do. Sitting by his side, letting him pour out all of the feelings that no one else will listen to... you understand.

Exhausted, tired, worn down from trying to untangle the ugly knot that’s overcome his heart, Jumin feels a buzz in his hand, and he checks his phone to see a message from you.

‘I love you.’

He smiles because he knows you do.

Jumin doesn’t need you to speak. He doesn’t have any ‘romantic aspirations’ of how one day you’ll feel comfortable enough to vocalize your thoughts for him, nor does he particularly mind the silence as you walk by his side. All he needs is to look you in the eyes - those eyes filled with such compassion - and he knows, in his heart, everything that you want to tell him.

To him, your ‘voice’ is the click-click of your phone’s keyboard. To him, your ‘voice’ is the way you’ll tug on his sleeve and smile, and the sound of his phone binging softly during a meeting with a message of encouragement and support.

Sometimes, he thinks of the mindless way his stepmothers used to prattle on, and he thinks of you, quiet and sincere and afraid to assert your own presence, and he smiles. To know what you’re thinking, he has to slow down and look for it, and he likes it, being the person who can always understand you in return.

Jumin doesn’t worry. He doesn’t fret. He doesn’t feel insecure, because sitting next to you, the both of you on the messenger and occasionally looking at each other and smiling...

That’s perfect for him.

Seven

It both takes him forever and no time at all to notice. Or, rather, perhaps a better way of putting it is this - he snoops into your personal information and finds it pretty easily, but doesn’t really understand the ramifications of it until much later in your relationship.

You’re energetic in the chat-room. You have time to moderate everything you say, and you don’t have to hear your voice when you’re typing. You joke and laugh and spam memes at each other. Seven feels like he’s walking on air.

And in phone conversations...? Honestly, he’s noisy enough for the both of you.

He knows - like, it’s clear he knows. It’s hard not to, when you don’t say anything in response to him. He jokes that he knows your true heart, and therefore you don’t have to say a word! Which in a way is... a nice thought?

In a way it’s not, because you know it’s not true. You’re filled in a world inundated with conversations and you acknowledge that, you’ve been dealing with it for so long, but some part of you appreciates Seven saying so.

It’s a bit shallow, but it’s fun, so you don’t complain.

It hits him one night at around three a.m., while he’s thinking about you because he’s so disgustingly in love but doesn’t know how to say it. It’s just this profound, shocking moment of revelation that you are not the way you are because of some quirk.

You are the way you are because the world has silenced you.

And it just - tears him apart inside.

He gets a lot more sensitive after that. He asks you... what it’s like. If you need anything. Are you okay? And you’re surprised, because you didn’t really figure him for the kind of person who took things so seriously, but he does because it’s you and he can’t help it. he asks if it hurts. He asks if there’s anything he can do.

When you’re hanging out... should he talk to you? Or type to you?

It’s weird, being asked your preferences so forthrightly, and not being made to conform to a world that wasn’t made to fit you. But Seven is so sincere about it all, and you don’t forget about that, even when he goes right back to laughing afterwards. 

V

Being a man who communicates in photographs, it’s only natural that he would accept someone who doesn’t want to communicate with the spoken word.

Honestly, he gets a little - mmmn. How to put it. Romantic about it? V has problems, and one of his problems is idealizing people’s suffering to make it “beautiful”. When you first get to know him, he is a little weird about this in regards to the “you not talking thing”.

Like - like you’re some kind of “silent princess” or whatever.

Which is a bit... alienating? And pedestal-y? And while it’s nice to not be made fun of or to be pressured into speaking (it’ll be good for you!) it’s also strange for him to weave this elaborate emotional tale about your suffering.

no dude.

you just don’t talk due to your wide assortment of crippling anxieties. don’t get weird about it!

You’re not beautiful because you suffer; you’re just a person trying to get through life while carrying your own blend of burdens. And he starts to realize that once his own burdens really start impeding his communication with you. 

V... can’t see very well. It makes logging into the chat-room hard, along with reading messages from you. You both struggle with this, because you like each other, but it seems like you keep not being able to match up with your own problems. 

He feels guilty. If he’d gotten the eye surgery earlier, maybe his vision wouldn’t be this far gone. You feel guilty, because - well, because of everything, because if you just “got better” faster this wouldn’t be a problem, and it’s Seven that suggests you both try to bridge the gap through technology.

You learn to write in braille. He starts getting the courage to navigate resources for those who have difficulty seeing, and your relationship becomes one of mutually acknowledging and finding a way around your troubles.

It’s oddly empowering, in a way, as you both figure out new strategies to reach out to each other. You get how the world doesn’t really feel made for you, you get the feeling of struggling, and by the end of it, V has stopped seeing you as this delicate ice princess and he, the worthless, sad man who’s ruined his life.

In the end, you’re just two people trying to make things work... and it does.

[mrsjihyunkim]

20 Seconds of Bravery Ch 6

{Reminder that this is from V’s point of view}  I’ll post the links to the other chapters on this tomorrow. I need sleep. Also I realized that I’ve been writing Luciel instead of Saeyoung so I’ll back and change that eventually.}

Next

Previous

First

      After MC left to get ready I sat down on the couch next to Azul. I pulled out my phone and checked my messages. I saw Hyun and Yoosung in the chat room but no Jumin. There were some missed calls from Luciel but no voice mails so it was probably nothing new. I sent Jumin a text asking if we were still on for lunch. He told me to meet him at his penthouse. I heard MC coming so I put my phone away and looked her way. She was wearing a pair of black jeans and red flannel shirt. Her hair was down but pulled back from her face. She looked so simple but also very beautiful. "Are you ready to go?" She asked standing in the door way. I nodded and stood up. She grabbed her bag and her keys then opened the door. I walked out first and she closed and locked the door. When she turned around she looked at me and laughed.

"What's so funny?" I was happy to see her laugh like that but I was curious. She stopped laughing and smiled as we began walking.

"Nothing. It's just that I noticed you're still wearing the shirt I gave you last night." I looked down and noticed she was right. Now I was laughing a little.

"I suppose I am. I was just so comfortable that I didn't even think about it. I meant to ask last night but what does the logo on the shirt mean?"

"It's a band shirt from a band called Paramore. It used to be my mom's but I kept it because I really like the band too." I could tell that she was sad talking about it but it also seemed like a happy memory for her. I felt bad that she had given it to me like it was nothing.

"I didn't know it meant so much to you. I'll be sure to return it to you safely." I began looking at the ground but was surprised when she grabbed my hand. She kept her head forward but I could still see her expression. She looked happy.

"No it's ok. I honestly never wear it, and besides she would have wanted you to keep it. I think she would have really liked you." She looked at me and her eyes were glossy but she had a bright smile. I could feel my cheeks heat up when she looked at me.

"I would have loved to meet her." She blushed and we continued to walk. I was trying really hard to pay attention the the people around us but my vision was hazy. "So what is this shop that your friends own?" I asked so that I could avoid thinking about my eyes.

"Oh it's a gaming shop. People go there and play table games like Magik, Dungeons with Dragons, and LOLOL. It's also a community place for people who just need a safe place. It's not much further away."

"I see. I didn't know you were into games. Which ones do you play?" She blushed a little bit and I found it cute.

"I don't play much. I mostly play Dungeons with Dragons and some Magik. I'm not that into Magik but it's fun with the right people. It can get expensive though. One time they had a guy buy $1,400 worth of cards." I couldn't help but let my draw drop. Yoosung always talked about how expensive his game was but never near that range. MC seemed amused by my shock and laughed. "I know. I didn't believe it at first either and then I talked to the guy and he showed me the cards. They were all super rare cards that basically make him undefeatable."

"I've never even heard of such a thing. Yoosung always complains about how things in his game are expensive but never to that extent."

"Well Magik and LOLOL are different. Yoosung also plays on a computer. You should tell him to come to the shop and try LOLOL in real life. I'd think he'd like it much better." I gave it some thought and it seemed like a good idea. Maybe then Yoosung could meet some people and focus on school a bit more.

"I think I'll do that. I worry about him staying home all day and playing on his computer. I'm worried it will effect his school." MC squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

"Well if you're worried about him then defiantly send him to the shop. It will be good for him in some way." I let go of her hand and put my arm around her.

"Thank you MC. I'll tell him about when I talk to him later." She smiled and then we stopped walking. I looked where we had stopped and saw a shop with a sign that read 'A&D Games'.

"Well here we are. Do you need to come inside and call a taxi?" I was about to answer her until I saw a small blonde woman come up the the window and began to make funny face and she was soon joined by a blonde toddler. I began to laugh and MC turned around. She ran up the the window and beat the glass. The toddler ran away laughing and the woman began to laugh. MC turned back to me and her face was red. "I apologize for my immature friend. She has made it her life mission to embarrass me." I laughed again at her flustered expression and kissed her forehead.

"No need to apologize. They seem like fun. I'll get going then. Have a great day MC." She smiled but then looked worried.

"Don't you need to call a taxi?"

"No, Jumin's penthouse is near by so I can walk and be on time." She still seemed to be worried so I kissed her forehead again. "Don't worry I'll text you when I get there. Now it looks like someone really wants to see you so you should go inside. She seemed reluctant but gave up and went inside.

I walked past the shop and began to head over to Jumin's penthouse. When I reached the street corner I couldn't see the street sign very well so I looked at my phone. Luciel had changed my GPS so that it would tell me the exact moment I needed to turn rather than telling me the street name. It was very useful on days like today when my eyes were bad. Thanks to that I was soon inside of the building where Jumin's penthouse was. I waited as the security guards let me in and notified Jumin that I was here. As soon as I walked in I was greeted by Jumin who was sitting at a table. "Hello Jumin." I said taking the seat across from him.

"Hello V. That's a very odd shirt. Where on earth did you get it?" I laughed a little at how quick he was.

"MC gave it to me last night. She said it was her mother's. It's a band t-shirt apparently." Jumin seemed even more curious now.

"But why did she give it to you? Did something happen to the shirt you were wearing last night?"

"Uh no." I could feel my cheeks getting red. "I ended up staying the night there last night." Jumin's face also got red as he took a drink of his coffee.

"I see. I had no idea your relationship with her was like that." I could feel my face get hotter at his insinuation.

"No it's not like that at all!" I said holding my hands up. "I couldn't call a taxi and neither you or Luciel would pick up. So MC let me stay in her spare bedroom. Nothing else happened." Jumin of all people should know that I'm not like that. Of course I'd be lying if I said I never thought about it. Especially after seeing her this morning. It was really hard to control my self when I saw that. Jumin cleared his throat and I came out of my thoughts. "You know better than anyone that I'm not like that."

"You're right I do. I also know that you aren't being honest with her and it makes you uncomfortable." I gave him a curious look. "When I said Rika's name yesterday MC had a panic attack, correct?" I nodded. "Well assuming that it's the same person named Rika MC obviously doesn't know that you were engaged to her or that she injured your eyes." I sighed in defeat.

"I never could hide anything from you. MC knows Rika from the foster home they were in before Rika got adopted. She told me about the things that Rika used to do to her and I couldn't bring myself to tell her about all of that. A lot of things happened to MC yesterday and I didn't want to overwhelm her. I'm going to tell her eventually but right now there are more important things happening."

"Should I be worried? She's not going to go crazy and break your hands or anything is she?" I shot him a look and he just shrugged.

"No. MC isn't like that. She may hide her anxieties a lot but she's no bitter or hateful from them. Her kindness is real. I honestly believe she'll hurt herself before hurting anyone else."

"I see. Well if you trust her then I'll trust her too. Like you said last night, it's your personal life. It really doesn't become our business unless you want her to join RFA." I put down my fork and took a drink of my tea.

"I have thought about asking her to join but I think it's too soon to ask her. Maybe after she meets everyone and get comfortable around them. She get's really anxious around people and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Plus I'd like to just focus on our relationship until it becomes more official." An employee came and cleaned up our plates while another refilled our drinks. "While I'm on the subject, what did you think of her?"

"If you're asking my approval you know you don't need it." He paused and adjusted his cuff. "But since you asked I'll tell you. I already know that she is a hard worker. Her living style is minimal which I find very efficient. Her voice isn't terrible to listen to and she seems to greatly care about you. I think all of these make her an ideal person to date. Oh and she is good company to keep." I shook my head at his answer.

"Over logical as always I see. I'm glad you like her though." I looked at my watch and saw that I needed to leave for Luciel's house. "Thank you for lunch Jumin. It was good to see you but I have to go see Luciel now." He waved his hand in dismissal.

"I have to go back to work soon anyway. Would like driver Kim to take you there?"

"Yes that would be much appreciated old friend." Jumin smiled at me and dialed a number on his phone.

"It's nothing. Hello driver Kim. No I'm not heading back to the office. V is on his way down so just take him where he needs to go." He hung up the phone and put it back in his jacket pocket. Elizabeth began to rub against my leg so I reached down to pet her. She sniffed my hand and ran over to Jumin.

"She must have smelled MC's cats."

"Yes. She acted the same way with me until I showered last night. I think she was jealous." I smiled as I watched them. Elizabeth may not be trained like a therapy cat but I could see that she did the same job.

"Well I better get going before Luciel catches my phone on fire."

"Alright. Stay safe. Zen claims to be having weird dreams again, not that I believe in them. Just be careful." I smiled at my friend. It was very unlike Jumin to worry. I made a mental note to talk to check the old chat rooms.

"I will Jumin. Thank you again for lunch." With that final goodbye I made my way out of the building and into the car that was waiting. "Good afternoon Mr. Kim."

"Good afternoon Sir. Where do you need to go?"

"1124 Greenwood ave please." He nodded and began to drive. I decided to call Yoosung while I was in the car. I dialed his number and he picked up right away. "Yoosung are you free to talk right now?"

"Yes. Is everything ok? Is it your eyes?"

"My eyes are fine. Did you know that there was a real life LOLOL game?" I must have shocked him because it sounded like he knocked something over.

"So it is real then! I thought my guild mate was lying when he said that was a thing now. How do you know about it?" I couldn't help but smile at his excitement.

"My friend MC has friends who own a gaming shop. She said that lots of people go there to play it. She texted me a while ago and said that the shop was having an LOLOL night tonight. I can give you the address if you want to go try it."

"Yeah! That'd be really cool." I was about to give him the address until he said something else. "Wait does this mean I get to meet the famous MC that you've been hiding?" I couldn't help but laugh at his question. It hadn't crossed my mind that MC might be there. I'll have to give her a heads up.

"I haven't been hiding her, she's just not very social. But I suppose you will see her there since that's where she went. Just don't ask her a million questions or talk about Rika. She's very prone to panic attacks." I knew he was going to want a better explanation but I was already at Luciel's house. "I promise to explain more later but I have to go now." I gave him the address and hung up the phone. I thanked driver Kim and got out of the car. When I knocked on the door Searan opened it. "Hello Searan."

"Saeyoung's in his office. He's been muttering about you all day. It's so annoying." I felt bad for dodging Saeyoung's calls but it was better to talk in person.

"Sorry about that. I'm here to talk to him. He can be such a child sometimes. Is Jane here?" Searan shook his head.

"She went to the store."

"I see. I'll go ahead and talk to Saeyoung now. It's nice to see you doing well Searan." He walked away without saying anything else and I went to Saeyoung's office. "Saeyoung it's me V. Are you busy?" I could hear him shuffling behind the door. Almost like he was trying to clean up.

"You can come in." I opened the door and saw him sitting at his work bench. It looked like he was working on a new toy.

"Sorry I avoided all your calls. Is everything ok?" He shrugged and continued to work. I knew he was angry with me.

"I don't know. You tell me. You're the one who won't answer any of my questions." I felt bad for not telling Saeyoung everything. I didn't want him to think I was hiding anything from him.

"I'm sorry Saeyoung but I'm here now. I couldn't answer your questions because I didn't have a right to. MC isn't a suspicious person. I met her in a grocery store that she goes to every Saturday. I had to talk to her before telling you anything out of respect for her privacy. Does that make sense?" Saeyoung let out a sigh and was now just pouting.

"Well you could have just said all that from the beginning instead of ignoring me. And with your history in women can you really blame me for worrying. I mean the last one literally tried to rip your eyes out." I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Jumin said the same thing last night." Saeyoung finally smiled and began to laugh.

"I never thought there would be a day where Mr. Trust Fund and I were on the same page. Gives me the creeps." He shuttered and pulled out a bag of chips. After eating a few he seemed to feel better. "So what can you tell me about her?" He asked while eating more chips.

"There actually is a problem that I like to help her solve if possible. Someone has been watching her and reporting to her ex boyfriend. If possible I'd like you to trace the number that's been texting her so we can find out whose watching her."

"Why am I not surprised that she has drama attached to her." I rolled my eyes at him as he went over to his computer. "Why is her ex keeping tabs on her anyway."

"He abused her and apparently isn't ready to let it go. She only got away with the help of her two friends. They got him put in jail and she has a restraining order against him." Saeyoung nodded and turned serious. If there was one thing he couldn't stand it was people like this.

"Sounds like she's been through a lot. I'm surprised she's so friendly." I recalled everything MC has told me so far about her life and I felt sad.

"She's been through more than you know. She's been on her own since she was eleven. She even shared a foster home with Rika." Saeyoung looked at me with a shocked expression. "I know. Rika caused MC a lot of problems and tried to bully her. I'm honestly amazed that MC has no bitterness towards her. She even says that she pities her and hopes she finds happiness."

"Wow. She still thinks that even after finding out that you're Rika's ex fiancee. That's amazing." I looked at the ground and put my hands in my pockets. "Unless you didn't tell her all of that." I finally looked at him and he looked upset.

"I planned on telling her but when Jumin just said Rika's name she went into a full blown panic attack. I'm worried about what will happen when I do tell her." Saeyoung sighed.

"You're doing that thing again. The thing where you decide what's best for everyone instead of trusting them."

"But what if.." He cut me off.

"V listen. This is a person who has a lot of trauma. She's opened up to you which means she's either stupid or in love with you. The longer you keep this from her the more it's going to hurt her when she finds out. How are you going to have any kind of relationship with her if she doesn't know anything about your past?" I knew he was right but I was still uneasy about it.

"I know you're right but first I just want to help her. Is the tracer done yet?" Saeyoung turned back to the computer.

"Yeah. Looks like the first number you gave me is coming from the jail. So her ex probably got a hold of a phone in there. The second number belongs to Alex Smith. Do you want me to keep tabs on the phones?"

"If it's not too much trouble. I know how much you dislike hacking. I'll tell MC what you found out and see what she wants to do next. Can you keep an eye on them until Saturday?"

"Yeah that should be doable. You know I'm gonna have to tell Jane though. Unless you want to stay for dinner and explain yourself." I laughed and was about to say something when a voice behind us.

"Well one of you two better explain. Otherwise the chips get it." She held a bag of chips over the trash can. It honestly looked like Saeyoung was about to.

"Honey I can explain. You see V's new girlfriend has a stalker so we're stalking the stalker. See simple explanation now please put the chips down." Jane smiled and ran off with the chips. Saeyoung took off after her and I could hear her laughing. I couldn't help but smile at their playful act. Even Searan was a little amused by it.

"Are they always like this?" I asked as I stood next to Searan. Jane now had a dart gun and was shooting Saeyoung with it.

"All the time. Even in the morning which is really annoying." I looked at Searan and noticed that he looked like he was about to leave.

"Are you going out?" I asked and he nodded.

"I'm going to some kind of game shop with Yoosung. He said you told him about it. Is your girlfriend really gonna be there?" I nodded.

"Yes, but she's there to help out so please try to keep Yoosung for asking a million questions. She has really bad anxiety and that shop is one of her safe places. I know she's going to be nervous so just keep that in mind." Searan only nodded his head but I knew he understood. He actually probably understood better than me. For some reason knowing that he was going made me feel better. "Thank you Searan." He nodded again

"I'm leaving. Don't wait up." Saeyoung came running back into view.

"Searan don't leave with out giving your brother a hug!" He began running towards him but Searan just ducked out the door. I couldn't but laugh as Saeyoung went and pouted to his wife. I followed him into the kitchen and saw him hugging Jane from behind as she cooked dinner. I couldn't hear what he was saying but I knew he was pouting.

"V will you be staying for dinner?"

"No. I have some photos to develop when I get back to my house. I might even try painting something." She smiled at me and handed me a small bento box.

"Well then take this and make sure you eat it. I know how lost you get in your art. Don't skip your meals or I'll tell this girl you're seeing." I laughed and took the box from her.

"Thank you Jane. I'll be sure to eat it. I should get going now." I turned around to leave but Saeyoung stopped me.

"V wait. It's getting dark, I'll drive you home. I've got something else to ask you about." I nodded at him and we headed out. We got in his red sports car and started driving. For almost half of the drive we didn't talk. I checked my phone and read the text that MC had sent me. She had sent me three pictures. One of her and the little blonde boy, the second was of a table with a bunch of figures on it, and the third one was a picture of her with Yoosung and Searan. I didn't even realize how nervous I'd been until I saw that she was ok and having a good time. Then I heard Saeyoung speak up. "V, I wanted to," I knew what he was about to ask so I cut him off.

"If you're going to ask about my eyes they are the same. Some days I can see out of both and other days I can only see out of my left eye." I saw him grip the steering wheel and I knew he wasn't happy with my answer.

"I still don't understand why you don't just get the surgery. What Rika did to you was awful but I don't know why you insist on suffering because of it." I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"I've been asking my self that same questions lately. I used to tell myself that it was because I made Rika the way she was. That my obsession turned her into that twisted person and that's why I deserve this. But ever since MC told me about her foster home I've begun to question it all." I sighed again and looked at Saeyoung. "I also know that if my eyes continue to deteriorate I won't be able to help MC. That for some reason makes me anxious." Saeyoung was now laughing but I didn't know why.

"I never thought I'd see this day. You're acting just like me when Jane was staying in Rika's old apartment. I was a nervous wreck everyday. I couldn't sleep because I would have nightmares of the bomb going off. It wasn't until I was physically able to protect her that I felt better. Granted I found out that she's more of a bad ass than me, it felt good to just be there for her." I was still unsure of what he meant.

"But why were you so anxious? Was it because you love her or something else?"

"Of course it was because I love her. If you want to protect MC then you need to tell her everything. The chances are that she needs your support more than your protection." Suddenly it all made sense. I was guilty for not being honest with her after she had been nothing but honest with me.

"I see. So this is what love really feels like." I hadn't meant to say it out loud but I was even happier once I did. Saeyoung laughed and I just couldn't stop smiling.

"I'm not really the person you should really be saying that to but it's nice to see you happy." We both laughed but he was right on both counts. I honestly couldn't remember that last time I was so happy. Saeyoung pulled the car up to my house and put it in park.

"Thank you Saeyoung. I'm going to tell MC everything and I promise to think more about the eye surgery." I got out of the car and waved to him as he pulled off. When I got inside I walked into the living room and noticed that the window was broken. I looked around and saw a rock with a piece of paper tied around it. "How juvenile." I said out loud. I took off the paper and saw that it was a warning telling me to stay away from MC. Now things were getting interesting. I pulled out my phone to call someone about the window and then sent a text to Searan asking him to make sure MC got home safely. I needed to talk to MC soon and I just hoped things didn't escalate before then.