#bertie is autistic because i’m autistic

[commander-coppercogg]

🌸🌻🌳 For Bertie

💐🌙 for Syrryl

(If you want to <3)

-Commanderfloppy

I’d love to! Thanks so much for the ask.

Bertie

🌸- What's this oc's favorite and least favorite color?

Hmmm Bertie’s favorite color is a nice gentle sky blue and his least favorite color is a dull sandy yellow. The deserts around Amnoon hurt and overwhelmed his eyes.

🌻- What's this oc's mental health state?

Bertie is autistic (like me!) and has had some real ups and downs dealing with that throughout his life. He almost didn’t graduate from college and the events of Living World Seasons 1 and 2 were very difficult for him, to the point that he became almost entirely mute, speaking only to Syrryl and signing to everyone else. He only started speaking regularly again at the beginning of Heart of Thorns. Luckily, Bertie has very supportive friends and coworkers and since the founding of Dragon’s Watch has become a lot better at coping in day to day life. Kas helps him out in diplomatic situations to make sure he doesn’t misunderstand anything, he can info dump with Taimi and Gorrick for hours, Braham is really good at reading Bertie’s body language and helping him out when he gets overstimulated and Rytlock will gut anyone who tries to be an asshole about it. And Syrryl, who’s known Bertie for almost a decade now, can almost always understand what Bertie’s trying to say and will translate his sign language on the now rare occasion when Bertie becomes non verbal.

🌳- Does this oc collect anything?

If you asked him, Bertie would say not for himself but that he does like to pick up little things that he thinks his friends would like: an interesting bug for Gorrick, a small carved statue of Wolf for Braham, gun oil for Syrryl, the chocolates Jory won’t admits she likes from Divinity’s Reach. That sort of thing.

(He’s lying. Not about getting things for other people. He just won’t admit he collects Snargle Goldclaw novels.)

Syrryl

💐- Where is this oc's favorite place to relax?

Syrryl isn’t really the relaxing type. He’s usually keeping watch wherever he and the rest of the group are, constantly wary and assessing for possible threats. However, he does have few perches high up in Eye of the North and Fort Trinity where he knows everyone is safe and he can see everything that he enjoys hanging out in. And spying on people. He still has reports to fill out of the Order of Whispers after all. (And secretly watching Bertie and pining shhhh don’t tell)

🌙- Does this oc have any unusual hobbies?

Syrryl is an amateur mixologist. It’s perhaps not the best hobby for a former alcoholic but so long as he just makes drinks for others and not himself he’s fine. He approaches drinks the way most other people would approach chemistry. Syrryl’s very good at tailoring drinks to people’s tastes and can make a cocktail that will satisfy even the pickiest person. Canach is his most frequent and enthusiastic taste tester.

[miralines]

Update: Bertie is too mean to be a himbo but wow it was funny to hear the party sealed in a magic room and have him immediately go on a tirade about how he wants to be less heroic somehow

I’m only 7 episodes into RQG but Sasha and Bertie are going to be lesbian/himbo solidarity I’m calling it now

[enbyincrisis]

In honour of suicide prevention awareness month, I’m going to talk about Bertie.

I know that this particular occasion is a USA thing, but because a large majority of my mutuals and followers are from there, I think it’s important for me to recognise it.

I’ve known a lot of people who have died. (Because of shit I won’t go into right now. I might make a different post on that later if you actually want to know but I don’t want to go off topic now.) But I’ve only known two people who have committed suicide. The first was Zahra, a member of my theatre ensemble. And the second was my best friend.

His name was Julian Albert. He had a surname but he hated it. We called him Bertie. He was pronounced dead on the 5th of May, 2020. And he was the best person I have ever known.

Bertie was trans. He was panromantic, polyromantic and asexual. He was autistic, very visibly ticced and stimmed, and had many other forms of neurodivergency. He had issues at home, with transphobic and abusive parents. And he had massive issues with dissociation. We knew he was suicidal, but we also knew that he was getting help and pushing through. Until he didn’t.

I’m not going to focus on that for this next bit, though. I’m not going to focus on how he died, because that wasn’t who he was, and that’s not what he would have wanted. I’m going to talk about how he lived.

Bertie was the most Alive person I have ever met. He was constantly moving, jumping up on tables and benches, speaking what he wanted to. He was glorious. Bertie loved frogs and bats. He loved to draw. He was a brilliant performer. He loved soup.

Last year, when he found out that I had never celebrated Halloween before, he invited me to go Trick or Treating with him. He sat down and made, from scratch, a mothman costume with me, because that was my favourite cryptid. I never got to go with him because I got really sick. But it brought me so much joy to have that costume.

One time, my friend and I bought him a pumpkin from the grocery store down the road. Just a full sized butternut pumpkin. We brought it to school and gave it to him as a gift. He loved it. He carried it around as his child, talking about himself as a pumpkin dad. He fucking loved that pumpkin.

If you’re following me, you probably know about my obsession with fish. Most people found that very strange. Bertie just went with it, and encouraged it. He was the first person who did that. He sent me pictures of fish on instagram every day, and drew and painted and sculpted fish for me whenever he could in art class.

He was the kindest, least problematic, funniest, best, most Alive person I have ever known.

All of that is not to say that he didn’t struggle, because he did. Every week I would take his secret laundry home, his male uniform, his binder, and I would wash and dry and iron it for him. He struggled for a bit with substance abuse. His parents refused to get him the help he needed. He had been abused, raped and mistreated. He had such intense dissociation that he couldn’t really tell whether he was actually at school with us or whether he was lying in bed talking to a hallucination version of us again.

But he was pushing through it, and he was strong.

When I found out, I was shocked. Well, not really. I had already felt in my gut that something was wrong, and that it was to do with him. But, to be brutally honest, I thought it was more likely that one of our other friends had committed suicide, because they seemed wildly less stable.

At his funeral, which was livestreamed because of COVID-19, his parents misgendered him and dead named him the whole time. They showed pictures of him pre-transition. Not only was this the most disrespectful, transphobic bullshit ever, it was also really hard for his friends, who were also grieving, to be constantly reminded of one of the reasons we were having a funeral in the first place.

After he died, people who bullied him mercilessly wore little green ribbons, and posted green hearts on their instagram stories. They saw the people who knew him saying, goblin king, go home and reclaim your crown, and took it and twisted it and made it horrible to watch.

All of this is to say, that it’s never who you expect. I think that we should remember people like Bertie for their strength. I think that we should try a lot harder than we currently do as a society to provide help to those who need it, and even those who don’t. I think that we should value trans lives, and prevent this kind of transphobic bullshit, because it kills. I think we should be more accepting of neurodivergent people. And I guess what I’m trying to say is, Be Kind. You can reblog as many posts as you want, but unless you are kind, what are you really doing?

His name was Julian Albert. We called him Bertie. He was a He. He was strong. And he was kind.

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

🏳‍🌈 for the hyperfixation ask! about as many of ur fav shows as u want!!

aaaaaaaa ty!!!!!

🏳‍🌈  do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

ok im gona start off with the a-team. some of these are gona seem real silly but they’re all part of like. How I view the characters like it’s dumb lil headcanons like these that build up how I experience them.

It’s vital that Murdock has ADHD partly bc he’s so textbook. Also gona say it’s important that he has PTSD but I’m not sure that counts since that’s. As close to canon as we’re going to get. Amy’s a lesbian and also she’s trans lol. B.A. has synaesthesia but doesn’t believe the rest of the team when they tell him not everyone has that. B.A. also is Full of anxiety lol like. idk I consider that canon but I know it’s not widely thought. Face is secretly Really weird and eats dirt to combat his own anxiety but is terrified of being found out. B.A. is gay. Face is bi but he doesn’t know what that means. He’s never even heard the word gay and if someone tried to explain it to him he wouldn’t listen. Hannibal also has ADHD and has a weird hangup about being seen sleeping or eating. Face is allergic to most anaesthetics and Murdock has never had hay fever but he gets flu every single year without fail, which he then usually accidentally gives to the rest of the team so sometimes they Boycott the hospital during flu season bc if Murdock is around he wants to hug everyone. Murdock is king of naps; Face has the most nightmares; B.A.’s sleep schedule is FUcked. Murdock used to have a dog when he was a kid and back in Vietnam he used to steal food from Hannibal’s tray right in front of him while Hannibal watched absolutely speechless. Face watched MFU as a kid and worked really hard to emulate Napoleon Solo.

and that’s that on that!

Bertie Wooster (from the books idk abt the tv show lol) is asexual and ADHD and has anxiety. I would say that all of these would be canon if the terminology had been around when the books were written; they’re far too on the nose to be a generic description, they are clearly based on specific experiences, probably Wodehouse’s own. Make of that what you will.

Napoleon Solo from the Man From UNCLE is aLSO ADHD (are u noticing a pattern); His family were Italian Catholics but he grew up in New York, in the same neighbourhood and around the same time as Dave Starsky from Starsky & Hutch; he’s bisexual and very repressed about it. Illya is gay and wears socks to bed. All the kids in Napoleon’s neighbourhood knew him as ‘Big Nobby’ and Napoleon is trying his best to keep this information from Illya.

Dale Cooper is kinda Quaker. (this is kinda canon)

Jamie McCrimmon is colourblind and gay. He had at least 1 older brother.

Dana Scully is clairvoyant and doesn’t know it. Mulder has ADHD. Monica Reyes is autistic and did not do well at school because of it. Charlie Scully is trans.

ok that was a journey thank u for joining me hfjkhgldf

ask game!!

[starryoak]

Bojack Horseman

I like Bojack Horseman enough to watch as a show and the stories that they’re telling are great but to be honest I just straight up love the worldbuilding and want to see more in this specific world with this specific set up. LONG STUFF HIDDEN UNDER THE BREAK

Not like, Tuca & Bertie which seems to have a similar world but with so many separate ‘people’ that it becomes entirely just ‘ok everything’s potentially alive’ and there’s no real need for worldbuilding there. It’s only specifically BECAUSE Bojack Horseman takes the time to answer these questions that I have further questions. I can accept ‘because because and we didn’t think about it’ but I really get the impression they have thought about this extensively... though admittedly probably not to the extent I have, and I wish we could know what the official thoughts of the people who think this up thought.

I absolutely understand why primarily the worldbuilding has been sparsely focused on, and it absolutely should be: don’t focus on the meaningless details unrelated to the core of the show just because they’re ‘intriguing’. I’m glad the main focus is on the characters, because that’s how it should be... but please, god, someone ask the creators some questions because I need to know

What happens to non-verbal autistic people or similarly mentally handicapped people if the world has decided that it’s ok to kill people if they’re injected with the hormones that make them dumb? 

I’d say it’d go directly to ‘they get killed too’ but also does it have to happen at birth for it to take effect, because Honey Sugarman wasn’t taken to be turned into glue after being lobotomized so like, clearly the fact that she isn’t fully capable isn’t the only factor here.

Does the fact that Becca was capable of saying Todd’s name indicate that in fact, she is fully sapient, just drugged and uneducated or are they truly non-sapient due to the hormones? 

Either way doesn’t decrease the horror but it would be nice to have groundlines on if Becca and her comrades could be rehabilitated into society to some extent or are they truly just animals? 

Is the only thing separating Becca and Honey Sugarman the fact that Honey was arbitrarily declared a person at the beginning of her life?

Does long pig/humans being farmed as meat happen in this universe or is it just meat animals that are raised and killed for their meat? If so, why?

Humans are half of the population if LA is representative of the rest of the world, but considering how each animal is essentially their own ‘race’ this makes humanity the largest race by volume, even factoring in the human’s smaller internal races.

Did slavery ever exist in this universe and if so what impact did animals have on this? 

Animal people of each individual species are essentially treated as another separate race with their own cultures, and some animal cultures oppressed the others, so how do humans factor into this?

History in general seems to have happened, so where do ethnicities fall into place in this universe?

How do breeds and domestication factor into this?... I guess domestication really doesn’t exist because pets don’t exist in this universe, but many of the animals like Mr. Peanut Butter and Princess Carolyn are breeds of animal that only came about AFTER human intervention, more specifically than just ‘dogs are wolves’ but ‘persians and labrador retrievers are even more specialized than just species’

I’d have to wager that every specific species just exists without evolution for this to work and that’s ok, I just want to know how breeds of animal are considered in terms of what animal they are or if they have their own specific cultures

Are dog breeds discriminated against by other dog breeds? Actually, are they considered as much of a race as human races or conversely are human races just considered a kind of breed of human?

White people as a cultural concept exist separate from black and asian people so clearly discrimination takes place based on race, but did the race based wars take place?

I’m not asking for an entire alternate history of this Earth considering some people are now animal people but... actually yes I am asking, I would love an alternate ‘history of the entire world, i guess’ for Bojack Horseman’s universe

Like, I don’t need it to particularly make sense, the answer could be ‘some animals aligned with the humans on one side of every issue and were oppressed by the other side of the issue and this happened for every major conflict’ and I’d be happy.

I’d just love to know how it happened. It really, really doesn’t need to make sense, random bullshit coincidences could absolutely happen just to make our world today, I just love worldbuilding.

But really, I am completely fine with them ignoring these questions because that’s not what the show is about nor should it be about these things. I just wonder on my own here. 

If any of these have canon answers I’d love to hear them. To be honest I haven’t watched every episode, just know details about every episode, so some of these may have answers I’m unaware of.

[a-room-of-my-own]

The book that dares to take on transgender myths told to children: Experts reveal psychologists are scared to question transgender ideology, GPs are afraid of being branded transphobic and teens are being wrongly diagnosed

The coalition warn today the rocketing numbers has become a national scandal

Express fear over consequences for the thousands of children changing gender

Whistleblower from UK's only NHS gender clinic for children said: 'I'm really angry at what's happening to these children

The rocketing number of children seeking to change sex has become a national scandal, a powerful coalition of whistleblowers, academics and medical experts warns today.

In a dramatic intervention marking a watershed in the transgender debate, they have come together to express fears about the dire consequences faced by thousands of youngsters changing gender – including infertility and long-term health problems.

A whistleblower from Britain's only NHS gender clinic for children said: 'I'm really angry at what's happening to these children. What I've witnessed feels incredibly distressing and disturbing and like something that should be stopped.'

The experts' concerns are laid bare in a forthcoming book of essays entitled Inventing Transgender Children And Young People. It challenges what it calls the 'dangerous' transgender ideology promoted in schools, universities, the NHS and other public institutions.

Heather Brunskell-Evans, a former research fellow at King's College London, who co-edited the book, said that 30 years ago the thought of a child being born in the wrong body would have made no sense to the public.

She added: 'Now the idea, which was invented by specialists in gender medicine and transgender activists, has become universally accepted.

'But we are collectively arguing that this unquestioning acceptance poses a serious threat to children's well-being and safety. We hope through this book to bring the world's attention to the public scandal of transgendering children.'

The book warns: - Doctors are failing to tell young people they are 'sacrificing' their chance to have children by taking powerful sex-change drugs; - Psychologists are scared to question transgender ideology; - Clinicians who resist diagnosing children as transgender face accusations of transphobia; - Britain's only NHS child gender service is failing to acknowledge other reasons for youngsters wanting to change sex, such as autism; - Teenagers who have 'normal feelings' of discomfort with their bodies are being classified as transgender.

Another contributor to the book, due to be published later this year, is Dr David Bell, consultant psychiatrist at the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust in North London, where the NHS child Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) is based.

Other authors include Professor of Sociology at Oxford University Michael Biggs; psychotherapist Bob Withers, a former senior lecturer at Westminster University; and Dianna Kenny, Professor of Psychology at the University of Sydney, Australia.

Dr Bell, who wrote the book's foreword, called for an 'urgent investigation' into the reasons for the huge rise in the number of gender identity referrals. The latest figures from GIDS show 2,590 children – three quarters of whom were girls – were referred last year. In 2009, the figure was below 100.

More recently there has been a trend of mainly teenage girls declaring, seemingly out of the blue, that they want to change sex, a phenomenon dubbed rapid onset gender dysphoria.

The Tavistock clinic is the only NHS service for under-18s diagnosed with gender dysphoria, an individual's belief they are trapped in the wrong body.

Dr Bell, a former governor of the Tavistock and Portman NHS Trust, said: 'The rapid escalation of referrals, the large increase in natal [born] females seeking to change gender and the sudden appearance of so-called rapid onset gender dysphoria, cannot be explained by individual factors alone. Nor is it likely to be caused by a large number of individuals feeling free to 'come out' in this new liberal atmosphere.'

The psychiatrist, who last year produced a critical internal report on GIDS which branded the service 'not fit for purpose', further warned: 'Many services have championed the use of medical and surgical intervention with nowhere near sufficient attention to the serious, irreversible damage this can cause and with very disturbingly superficial attitudes to the issue of consent in young children.'

The Mail on Sunday has also seen interviews with whistleblowers who work at the Tavistock clinic, and whose accounts are due to be included in the book. They have chosen to remain anonymous.

One of the NHS gender specialists said: 'I keep thinking about all of the children, adolescents and families who are being harmed by the one-dimensional discussion and the attack on truth and on thinking and on what we know about adolescent well-being.'

Another added: 'I'm angry with all the grown-ups, all the clever people, all the thoughtful people, who are letting this happen.' One of the issues causing 'turmoil' at the clinic is the prospect that children are being rendered infertile by the medication prescribed for them.

This newspaper has previously reported that the service has prescribed controversial puberty- blocking drugs to hundreds of children in England, many of whom have been under 14.

The powerful monthly hormone injections stop the development of sex organs, breasts and body hair. Young people are advised by GIDS that the treatment is reversible and that if they stop having it, their adult reproductive functions will continue to develop as normal. But the whistleblowing staff at the service say the drugs – which can permanently weaken bones and stunt growth – put children on an inexorable path to further treatment which is irreversible.

Research has shown the vast majority of those who take puberty blockers go on to start 'cross-sex hormone therapy' at 16, which involves doses of oestrogen for males and testosterone for females. This strong hormone medication begins the physical process of changing individuals from one sex to another and is likely to lead to a loss in fertility.

Yet the concerned clinicians claim the fact puberty blockers are putting youngsters on a pathway to infertility is 'completely swept under the carpet' at the Tavistock. Instead, they say children and teens are being given false hope that they will be able to conceive in the future by being offered the chance by the clinic to freeze their sperm or eggs. In actual fact, it is unlikely they will ever have babies – with boys facing the minefield of finding a surrogate mother to have a baby using their sperm and the relatively low chances of frozen eggs producing a child, the clinicians say.

One GIDS staff member said: 'There's something really dishonest about the effort going into getting children to preserve their fertility. What are we setting them up for? We aren't talking enough about the reality of any blocker or hormone treatment massively reducing the chances of them being able to preserve sperm or eggs. It would be more honest to say, 'you are almost certainly sacrificing having children.' '

At the same time, the gender specialists interviewed for the book raised concerns about children being exposed to physical and psychological harm because Tavistock clinic staff bow to pressure from transgender lobbyists.

They also described how many young people referred to GIDS have suffered homophobic or misogynistic bullying, while some have been victims of sexual abuse.

And as revealed by The Mail on Sunday last year, a third of the young people being referred have clear signs of autism.

Tavistock psychologists are failing to properly investigate whether children are claiming to be transgender because they have an 'autistic obsession', are struggling with being gay or simply have 'normal' teenage feelings of unease with their bodies, the whistleblowers say.

The reason given for this failure is that the clinicians are terrified to question whether a child has gender dysphoria or is actually suffering from other psychological problems for fear of being attacked by trans activists.

They feel they must 'affirm' that the child's problems are primarily about their gender to prevent themselves being accused of being transphobic or trying to practice conversion therapy, it is claimed. They described working in an atmosphere in which 'thinking is shut down, questions aren't allowed and research is never done'.

And they claimed much of the pressure being placed on them to confirm children are transgender comes from influential trans lobby groups such as Mermaids and Gendered Intelligence.

Mermaids – a youth support charity which provides training on gender identity issues to police, NHS workers and Government departments – has attracted controversy for calling for current age restrictions on prescribing cross-sex hormones to children to be scrapped.

Meanwhile, Gendered Intelligence gives seminars on changing gender at schools across the country to pupils as young as four.

The GIDS clinicians said they were equally fearful of the backlash from protective parents, often supported by senior staff members at the Tavistock, if they refused to affirm a child had gender dysphoria or to refer them for treatment.

Other GIDS experts quoted in the book argue that young people who 'self-identify' as transgender are being influenced by external factors such as social media.

And often, these same teenagers idolise YouTube stars such as Alex Bertie who have been credited with making being transgender 'cool'.

However, the clinicians who have spoken out say despite the positive images being projected around changing gender, the future may not be bright for a large percentage of those who decide to do so.

In a chilling insight, one Tavistock specialist said many will face a life-time of health struggles and emotional instability.

She said: 'When you think of children who transitioned at five or even 15, where do you start unpicking that? Where do you start?'

Jay Stewart, chief executive of Gendered Intelligence, said: 'We are extremely disappointed that our professional relationship with the Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) is being called into question and that the experiences of trans and gender-diverse young people and their families continue to be undermined.

'Any allegation about Gendered Intelligence putting any kind of pressure on clinicians is unfounded. Gendered Intelligence has a professional and respectful relationship with the GIDS team.'

A Mermaids spokesman said: 'We have no control over decisions made by staff at the Tavistock clinic and we do not instruct our service users on what help they should seek within the NHS.

'Our children and young people are often desperate for support and recognition from our hard-working but under-resourced health service and we recognise this can sometimes make it difficult for clinicians.'

Last night a spokesman for GIDS insisted the service took a 'thoughtful and safe approach'. He said an internal review in response to concerns about the clinic's practices had made recommendations to address certain issues.

'However, we strongly refute the blanket and generalised criticisms of the service,' he said.

The spokesman further denied clinicians' claims that GIDS was failing to fully spell out the risks medical treatments being precribed posed to their future fertility. He said: 'The issue of fertility is a complex and developing area. This is always discussed with young people and their families. They can be supported at any point to stop the blocker and pursue fertility preservation.'

---

Puberty-blocker drugs trial was 'flawed from the start':

by Stephen Adams

The Tavistock clinic was last night involved in a furious war of words with an Oxford academic who questioned why its medics gave teenagers puberty-blocking drugs in a 'flawed trial'.

Writing in the book, Inventing Transgender Children And Young People, Professor Michael Biggs alleges that a Tavistock trial in which 50 children were given the controversial drugs was a 'pretext' for widening access. But the clinic hit back saying the sociologist was not properly qualified to comment, adding: 'We refute these claims, which we consider to be serious, unfair and inaccurate.'

Puberty blockers like triptorelin halt physical development by suppressing the release of sex hormones. They are medically licensed to treat 'precocious puberty', where children start developing before the age of 10.

However, they have never been licensed in the UK to stop puberty in otherwise healthy, but gender-questioning children. Doctors can prescribe them to such youngsters if they think they will benefit, but 'off-licence' prescribing is usually considered a stop-gap until solid trial-based evidence is available.

To that end, in 2010 the clinic started putting teenage patients on the blockers on a trial basis. But Prof Biggs claims, based on examining publicly available data, that medics ignored best scientific practice designed to ensure a fair trial, and then selectively publicised 'positive' results – showing improvements in mental states following blocker treatment – while ignoring 'negative' ones.

He also claims an information sheet given to children and parents contained 'incomplete and misleading information' which 'minimised or concealed the risks'.

A copy of the sheet obtained by Prof Biggs under Freedom of Information rules claimed children would return to normal sexual development if they came off puberty blockers.

It also claimed the drugs 'will not harm your physical or psychological development'.

Dr Biggs claims this was an 'astonishing statement' and concludes the trial was 'flawed from the outset'.

The Tavistock clinic said it 'categorically refutes' allegations of poor scientific practice such as 'cherry picking' results – and said Prof Biggs' analysis was itself based on 'partial data'. It said: 'The study concluded in early 2019 and we are preparing the dataset. We intend to publish full results in a peer-reviewed journal in line with international best practice.'

---

The clinicians' damning verdict:

Heather Brunskell-Evans, former research fellow at King's College London: 'The idea of a child born in the wrong body, invented by specialists in gender medicine and activists, has become universally accepted. This unquestioning acceptance poses a serious threat to children's well-being.'

Anonymous NHS child gender clinician: 'There's something really dishonest about the effort going into getting children to preserve their fertility. It would be more honest to say, 'You are almost certainly sacrificing having children.'

Dr David Bell, consultant psychiatrist at the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust: 'Many services have championed medical and surgical intervention with nowhere near sufficient attention to the serious, irreversible damage this can cause.'

[whirligig-girl]

Me again. Odd question. What started your interest in trains? I’m not talking shit, I admire your passion for trains (and spaceships), Im assuming they’re like your special interests (as I’ve said I’m autistic too, my own special interests are history (hence why I’m studying it) and the works of JRR Tolkien)? But how did it start? If it’s okay for me to ask. (I’m sorry if this question is a little too personal.)

my interest in trains goes back so far that I could practically say "I've always loved trains." But it's actually a bit of a funny story how it happened. Most of this story is relayed from hearing about it much later from my mom's perspective.

When I was very young, I had a book my mom would read to me often, called Zoom City Zoom. I'm not sure if that book created my early car obsession or if it was bought because of it, but either way it helped cement little Luna's love of cars and other vehicles.

When I was, probably, two and a half or thereabouts, my Mom and Dad brought me to my grandma's house to stay over the weekend because they were going on some trip. They were taking an Amtrak train, and when they left, I had said, through teary eyes at my departing loved ones, "I like trains too!" : (

When they returned from their vacation, they brought a VHS of Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends which included a wooden railway toy of Bertie the Bus, and I think also a Thomas the Tank Engine toy.

From then on I was obsessed with trains, particularly Thomas the Tank Engine, and because the Thomas tv series was made (originally) not to talk down to children, and the book series had a lot of lore (some of which was documented online and shown to me by my dad), it's something I just... never grew out of. There were long hiatuses between when I would pay attention to Thomas, and I think in Middle School and High School my interest in Thomas seemed almost to be a sort of regression or coping mechanism during particularly stressful times; since becoming an adult and seeing the activity in the fandom (particularly on twitter--it's not so active on tumblr) it has become a stable special interest.

I will say though that I don't like generic trains that much. My appreciation for trains is pretty much linked to my appreciation of Thomas, meaning I know way more about British railway history than about American trains, and even then for the most part I only know the history relevant to the fictional Sodor. I love steam engines (railway or otherwise) but don't care much for diesels. I appreciate any train, but my special interest is focused on funni talking train show.

Also trains are really important to me, politically speaking. Like, we need fully automated luxury gay railway communism sustainable transit infrastructure, and highways are just not it. Also, to do the opposite of bringing the story full circle: fuck cars.

[commander-coppercogg]

Finished up replaying the living world season 2 stuff today and struck again by the fact that the commander is not voiced. I’ve always thought that Bertie still talked cause he’s a friendly guy but then I had the idea of “wait what if he just goes nonverbal for like a year?” Like he gets so used to being the commander that when he’s removed from that he gets so stressed he just stops talking. And he only starts talking again once they head to Maguuma and he can be the commander again, surprising the hell out of Jory, Kas, Braham and Tiami when he just takes command and starts issuing orders

[commander-coppercogg]

Fun character rambling about potential EoD stuff under the cut just in case

Ok ok ok so the people we know are coming to Cantha with us are: Kas, Jory, Taimi, Caithe (which I’m super excited about), Aurene (maybe??? As like a projection thingy???) aaaaaaand Gorrick.

Which is absolutely hilarious to me that Gorrick is the only guy.

So please please please imagine that Kas has organized a girls night in because she takes her role as Taimi’s aunt/older sister very seriously and that girl needs to relax more honestly. Which leaves Bertie, Syrryl and Gorrick to have a….guy’s night????

Bertie: oh excellent it’ll be nice to spend some time together with friends!

Gorrick: sure but what exactly does a “guy’s night” entail?

Syrryl: uuuuuh I dunno. I’m pretty sure I heard Logan talk about fishing once???

Cue a very confused autistic man, an enthusiastic and well meaning trans autistic man and Syrryl going fishing because that’s what guys do right???

And by fishing I mean Bertie is using his drones to try and chase the fish into a net, Gorrick is more interested in how realistic the lures look and Syrryl is perched somewhere just straight up shooting fish like they’re in a barrel and not a harbor.

The local are very confused about what these weird little goblins are attempting to do

[commander-coppercogg]

Commander’s Log: Cantha, Part 1

Ok so I really wanna keep track of my thoughts and reactions as I play through EoD as like a means of journaling? I’ve actually been scribbling down notes as we play, the way I take notes when playing tabletop and I’ve been really enjoying it! Plus I wanna remember as much of this experience as possible because I’ll be honest my memory isn’t the greatest and I don’t wanna forget anything. So here we go!

I know everyone’s been talking about how pretty the character select screen is and it is beautiful but holy shit can we talk about that theme! Gorgeous!

Neither my boyfriend or I plan on changing Bertie or Syrryl’s elite specs because we’re really happy and comfortable with the builds we have but we still immediately unlocked everything. The gauntlets look so cool and I’m definitely gonna use that skin. It’s been so long since I’ve changed the look of Bertie’s prosthetic.

Ok going into the story we decided to just keep Bertie and Syrryl in their every day outfits. Because as far as we can tell they’re just having a normal day when shenanigans start.

Headed to Eye of the North and hit some issues. Talking to Kas Jory and Rytlock made dialogue seriously bug. After some fixing we realized that it just affected those first few convos and everything else is good

Oh my god Kas and Jory are actually taking to each other instead of past each other! Holy cow in about 30 seconds I already feel more invested in their relationship than I have since like Living World season 2.

Also yes Rytlock please take a vacation and maybe some therapy. Glad to hear Crecia is doing well tho

Ok ok ok starting the main story stuff now.

Wow there is a lot of talking. Loving it though.

Ok looks like they are heading down a Taimi/Gorrick path. And you know I’m not mad about it? Debbi is selling Taimi being “I’m not jealous stop looking at me” while Caithe and the Commander smile and nod. I really like that they already kind of know that it’s happening even if Taimi refuses to admit it.

Also wow wow wow at Caithe’s discussion of maturation and growth. I’m so proud of her. I’m really glad she’s coming with us to Cantha. Also messing with peoples love lives really just his her hobby isn’t it? First Logan and Rytlock back during Destiny’s Edge, then Bertie and Syrryl and now Taimi and Gorrick. Love that for her.

PROTECT GORRICKS VIRTUE!!! Ok I’m so glad they’re taking a humorous approach to this it feels like a bunch of friends hanging out. Like these characters relationships have grown and changed offscreen while time passed after Icebrood Saga but I don’t feel like I missed anything.

Hello Lornar’s Pass been awhile. Hello Priory encampment been awhile.

Ok so Gorrick didn’t have a crush on Ankka? Or no he did? Kiddo you’re sending some mixed messages here. Honestly big autistic mood.

The woman I used to….hypothesize with. IKE THAT PAUSE THO

Lol Taimi is so jealous. And Caithe’s dialogue im cackling. This is so so funny

Oh shit that’s Ankka? Not what I expected her to sound like. She sounds weirdly…normal? Not like other asura?

My boyfriend: hmmm that rock isn’t normally there in the map

OH SHIT HIDDEN AIRSHIP OH SHIT AETHERBLADE ATTACK OHS SHIT GORRICK IS KIDNAPPED NOOOOO NOT MY BOY

Aurene!

SCION AND CHAMPION!

MIST TIME MIST TIME

Oh my god that was one of the most fun instances I’ve ever ever done! It’s was so satisfying mechanically like it took focus to do right but wasn’t awfully difficult

Ok yup now Ankka sounds like what I expected total tone shift

Stop hurting Gorrick!

STOP HURTING AURENE

Ok definitely some tensions between Ankka and Mai. And these other named aetherblades sound super interesting. Wonder if there’s gonna be a schism

SHIT WTF IS THAT CANNON THING??? THE EXTRACTOR??? WHAT ARE THEY EXTRACTING???

Oh the black Hunger stuff from the trailer!!

Ok listen in my defense neither Bertie or Syrryl knows how to fly an airship this really isn’t their fault I say as we crash yet again

Oh we have washed up on a beach

Rama???

Oh shit that looks like some intensive medical care

“Those teeth…those ears…ugh what are they?” Oh my god fucking rude! But also I was just talking about how I love tailored dialogue! They have no idea what asura are!

Ok up and moving. This robe is cute

Gorrick Gorrick please sweetie I know it’s a lot and you’re overwhelmed but please I need you to slow down

HOLY SHIT SYRRYLS MONOCLE IS GONE

HIS FACE IS NAKEY

THEY TOOK HIS EYEPIECE

Oh you bet your ass this is gonna make it into our version of events

Oh poor Gorrick boy is having a full on meltdown

Oh shit his journal…. BLIIIIIIISH HES WRITING TO BLISHHHHH he’s been stuck here all alone for at least two weeks???? Oh nooooooooo

Hmmm I think I could interact with some of the other stuff around the room but now I can’t oh well

BIG HATTED MAN

I dunno why that cracked me up so much but it did

Damn Rama is just really tired aint he? Fucking mood

Heheh Gorrick jump on desk to sign book

Jesus we really did cause the biggest diplomatic event in history didn’t we?

OH SHIT MAIA KINDLESHOT???? AND AMBASSADOR SIANNA! Elona’s here! And…….Phlunnnnnnnt goddamnit

Ok Gorrick definitely seems to be having feelings about Taimi in return he’s just a bit more closed mouthed about it. Which makes sense things are a bit complicated

YES I was really hoping to see Kas step into her own as a lady of the realm I really thought she was gonna become Anise’s protege after Party Politics but then that got dropped but it’s showing up again I love that! As her voice actress sounds more grounded and confident with the role and position she’s taking cool excellent love this

Kas and Jory’s dialogue weaving in and out of each other without feeling like they’re interrupting. Stellar. I finally feel like these characters make sense to me and I’m really glad!

Oh ok cool I really like how they’re discussing Jory’s approach to her heritage and Kas’s reaction feels really mature.

Oh Belinda mention I see you

SNARGLE OS HERE!!!

Got the fishing rod!!!

Ok this got super super long so I’m probably gonna stop here for now before we go into the open map

[commander-coppercogg]

Neptune for any of your kiddos you'd like to talk about :)

(@uselessidiotsquad)

I'm gonna answer this one for Bertie cause Syrryl already had a turn with one of these asks:

𝟎𝟗.   𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄   !

( 𝗌𝗒𝗆𝖻𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝗌   : dreams,   intuition,   mysticism,   imagination,   delusions. )

what   are   your   muses   goals   ?   what’s   their   dreams   ?   are   they   intuitive   ?   do   they   believe   in   spirituality   and   acknowledge   that   in   every   day   life   ?   where   in   life   are   they   most   creative   ?   or   are   they   perhaps,   like   the   planet   saturn,   bound   to   reality   and   don’t   believe   or   acknowledge   such   things   ?   those   ruled   by   neptune   tend   to   run   away   with   their   goals   and   ideas   and   often   enough   run   too   fast   that   they   trip,   so   failure   is   familar   to   those   who   are   ruled   by   neptune.   does   your   muse   get   too   caught   up   in   unrealisitc   ideas   ?   if   so,   how   do   they   handle   the   disappointment   ?   those   ruled   by   neptune   are   also   full   of   child-like   innocence,   which   can   make   them   come   off   as   naive.   does   your   muse   care   what   others   think   of   them   ?

Bertie's main goal currently is to not fail. He's the Commander, he can't fail. He's come way too far, lost way too many people to fall short now. Every victory he's had has felt like it was by the skin of his teeth and he's very concerned about what's going to happen next.

Bertie's dream mainly centers around the people he sees as his family: Dragon's Watch. As much as he hates the ongoing world crises that they have to keep solving, he also understand that he wouldn't have the family he does otherwise. He dreams of lower stakes, easier missions, the whole world not hanging in the balance and on his family's shoulders. He doesn't dream of peace. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself if there were peace.

He's not especially intuitive. There's some things that just makes sense to Bertie: golemancy, his hammer, Syrryl (most of the time). And there are things that he just never gets the hang of: magic, politics and Syrryl (some of the time). It kind of depends. Inside his wheelhouse, Bertie is very intuitive. Outside his area of expertise, he's very much not.

Bertie is not a spiritual person. He's a student of the Dynamics College school of thought. He believes in things he can feel and touch and hit with his hammer. He understands the concept of the Eternal Alchemy spirituality, which he visualizes as the different interlocking parts of a golem, it's just not something he thinks about or really practices.

Bertie is most creative in life with his inventing. He's constantly making adjustments and upgrades to his prosthetic, tiny things that no one but an expert would recognize but it's resulted in one of the most advance prosthetics in Tyria.

Bertie is pretty down to earth. Sometimes though, especially when under a lot of pressure, his mind will run wild with all of the crazy, desperate, unrealistic plans that he'll desperately hope will keep everyone alive and safe. But as he is a good Commander, Bertie can recognize that those ideas aren't any help and will dismiss them. He doesn't feel disappointed about this because he never really saw the plans as a possibility anyway.

Bertie absolutely can come off as naive, especially when it comes to human politics. To some degree, it irks him. He is an intelligent adult and would like to be spoken to as such thank you very much. But another part of him, probably the one that has picked up on a bit of Syrryl's Order of Whispers tactics, knows that being underestimated can be used to his advantage. And to that point, Bertie doesn't really care what people think of him. He's a trans, gay, autistic, disabled man. Even in the world of Tyria, with much less prejudice than Earth, that fact alone will make some people dismiss and think less of Bertie. And in return, Bertie doesn't think about them at all. He's got better things to do with his time.

[commander-coppercogg]

OC Question time, if you would like one! No worries if you don't feel like it or if the question doesn't interest you :) For whoever you'd like to share about:

How skilled are they at seeing the core of a situation? Do they find an abundance of details distracting? Are they painfully honest or would they cushion the truth to spare people's feelings?

(@uselessidiotsquad)

I’d love to answer questions about my OCs! Thank you so much! I’m gonna answer them for Bertie since he’s the only OC I’ve talked about so far. (And because he’s my favorite)

So Bertie is quite skilled at seeing the core of a situation. Specifically he’s really skilled at making connections and thinking in ways that will get him to the core of something in ways that often baffle other people. He’s a critical thinker but is always thinking outside of the box. It’s one of the reasons he’s such an incredible golemancer. If he hadn’t gone to become the commander he probably would have been able to rival Snaff.

Bertie does find an abundance of details incredibly distracting. He’s autistic (like me!) and likes to focus on one thing at a time. A million tiny details all vying for his attention at once can easily overwhelm him.

Finally, Bertie usually tends to find a way to soften the truth unless it is a dire situation. He doesn’t like lying or withholding the truth from people or when people do that to him but he will absolutely try and find an easier way to tell someone something. I chose the Charming personality for him during character creation and this manifests as he being very attentive and polite in a straightforward manner. He’s not good at politics or mind games but he does try to not trample people’s feelings.