#benoit blanc || memories

[etxrnaleclipse]

Benoit Blanc

Fandom: Knives Out

Occupation: Private Investigator / Detective

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Okay someone who is better and more motivated at gifding than me, I need the men brooding in tubs compilation

[ellienchanted]

thinking about glass onion

kathryn hahn!! so good in that movie love her

haha remember that one video where she stares dreamily at rachel weisz. iconic

peak relatable moment™ to so many wlw. 'woman cozily holding cup of tea thinking about getting railed by rachel weisz' etc etc

too bad she's taken! she's married to that one actor you know the one... wait...

DANIEL CRAIG?????

[benoits-neckerchieves]

Sometimes I remember the film Love & Rage exists & I’m like… did… did I watch Daniel Craig tell an older woman to be a “boy who’s pretty but strict” and then be her sub and have very loud kinky sex while this other woman is stood outside the door listening to them? Like that did not happen, that was a fever dream right? Right????

[alexjcrowley]

Yesterday night I felt sick with my stomach and stayed awake all night making audio recordings to my best friend about watching Quantum of Solace for the first time (I am still finishing it) and then I started randomly talking about 00q and accidentally opened up the Pandora Box of my memories but I instantly remembered everything I ever knew about 00q like when it got adopted by the BBC Sherlock fandom or the Paddington is the new Quartermaster stuff or when everybody was obsessed with the fucking Téméraire and it was EVERYWHERE and everybody made the joke "It's a ship!!!" and the age difference discourse between James and Q and Q being called Quentin and Mycroft and Sherlock being Q older brothers and disapproving of his relationship with James Bond and the fucking tea mugs and so many cats and everybody talking about Q's jumpers and making up OC minions for him and every fanfiction in which James retires to be with Q because he was the only one he ever loved aside from Vesper and Q feeling insecure because of her and all then Madeleine Sawnn came along and everybody was distraught even though the flirting was there in Spectre and we were all distraught because we could have had it all and so many fix it fics so many fics about James cosntantly loosing his gadgets and how hard it was for Q to watch him seduce other people and everybody was saying they were grumpy x sunshine/black cat x Golden retriver coded BUT THEY WERE NOT ACTUALLY in my humble opinion but they were easily flustered x flirting menace and Q had such salty one-liners and everybody believed he was a posh boy and do you remember when years later you had the same museum scene with Hannibal it was clearly a parallel and then there was No Time To Die and Q was officially queer oh my God oh my fucking God it was CANON he TOTALLY CANONICALLY MUST HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON BOND and we saw THE CATS and WHO WAS Q WAITING FOR?????? James must have been jealous but then the movie was what it was and a lot of people hated it and all of the fix it fics in which Bond said his last words to Q because it was always Q it will always be Q and also everybody making up names for him names were such a huge deal Q revealing his name to James in his last moments grieving fics in which James died but you also had silly ones and spicy ones uhhh a lot of those because sometimes you just need to ignore canon and see them happy and maybe both retiring or maybe they kept working flirting over the comms and annoying everyone at MI6 which wasn't exactly Avengers "Everybody Lives in The Tower" au but it was close they weren't a found family per se but some of them were very close there used to be edits on youtube yeah before TikTok came along youtube edits were A ThingTM with all those retrica-looking filters and pop songs or sad love songs and fake trailers who remembers those or like scenes edited to look like they were from a romcom and comments on the scenes written in small usually white text that were meant to reflect the character inner thoughts like "That's hot" or "He's so annoying I need to kiss him" or "BITCH" and fics in which Q was kidnapped and James went berserk and a few years ago Knives Out came out and we tried to to have Bond and Benoit Blanc related do you also remember that?

[houseofbrat]

I don’t think Catherine is ever going to divorce William. She didn’t stick it out this long to not get a crown on her head and her family haven’t briefed the media for over a decade not to get some lesser titles from King Willy one day.

With this new reporting - do you believe she ever had anything related to cancer? I’ve always thought she had a breakdown of some kind and these latest reports just confirm that even more. Even if you had cancer, there’s zero reason not to be seen by anyone - which she hasn’t been.

And again, the entire fiasco shows what liars KP are. People want to forget the week of the video announcement, she did her bouncy shopping experience and Kp was calling in favors for people to talk about her doing school runs and being all over the school. How would that have been possible if she started “preventative chemo” the month before 🙄

[this ask is from 24 May 2024]

Perhaps this phrase is more apt: “Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus.”

Or, perhaps, the right Benoit Blanc quote should be:

"A doughnut hole in the doughnut's hole. But we must look a little closer. And when we do, we see that the doughnut hole has a hole in its center. It is not a doughnut hole at all, but a smaller doughnut with its own hole, and our doughnut is not whole at all!"

Why was Kate's "planned abdominal surgery" and hospitalization announced in the afternoon of 17 January 2024? If her surgery had been "planned," then the pr plan for announcing it would more likely have been put into place prior to surgery or at least during surgery at the minimum. However, a full day and the following morning had passed by the time an announcement was made by the Kensington Palace comms team. By KP's own statement & timing, the surgery happened on the 16th, and yet by the following morning, they were still not ready to announce that Kate had had major surgery or would not be performing public duties in the near future for a lengthy period of time.

Why the delay?

If it was routine surgery--as KP comms team wants to suggest by their statement--then why not announce on the 16th? Kate would be staying in the hospital regardless of whether the announcement to the public was made on the 16th or 17th. However, the delay insinuates that it was NOT a routine or "planned" surgery that Kate had. Seemingly that William and the KP pr team were not prepared to handle the situation. That perhaps Concha Calleja was right in that either Kate's operation or immediate post-operative period did not go well.

But now Kensington Palace comms team is telling Becky English that Kate was "unwell for some time in the run up to her initial abdominal surgery." A detail that--if true--would have made perfect sense to reveal to the UK media back in January or as late as March of this year. However, KP's initial statement on 17 January said that Kate was not expected to be doing work until after Easter, which was 31 March this year. (And yes, regular royal watchers would know this includes the kids' Easter break, even though the general public would not.) Even still, the Easter deadline gave Kate two and a half months notice that she would not be in the public's eye.

If Kate was truly "unwell for some time in the run up to her initial abdominal surgery," then the medical team would have been aware of that prior to her hospital admission. The BRF has their own medical team, which includes doctors outside of medical facilities such as The London Clinic. These doctors would know Kate and her medical history quite well by this point. They would know very well how she would respond to certain kinds of treatments and procedures.

In late February, William misses or skips the memorial service for King Constantine II of Greece. According to Valentine Low, that decision may have been made two weeks earlier. However, this absence did not cause him to miss other engagements later on in the week, such as St. David's Day in Wales.

Nonetheless, a string of outrageous and undeniable pr failures are suddenly committed by the Kensington Palace comms team, which includes the release of an altered Mother's Day photo and a public spat with the British Army over the Colonel's Review. Will and Kate become an international joke with so many people rolling their eyes about the shenanigans coming out of Kensington Palace, until Kate makes her video announcement that "cancer had been present." All the questioning of Will, Kate, and Kensington Palace's leadership all stopped after that one announcement.

Until people saw the pictures of Kate at Trooping the Colour and then Wimbledon and realized she did not look so ill. Many people know someone who has or is undergoing treatment for cancer. Many people have to work while they undergo treatment for cancer.

And then there's the recent Nerf story about how Kate and the kids went to an outdoor party to run around and play in the mud. There are plenty of people, who do not idolize Kate, who have wizened up to the fact that she clearly does not seem ill. At all.

And let's not forget Benoit Blanc's quote up top:

"A doughnut hole in the doughnut's hole. But we must look a little closer. And when we do, we see that the doughnut hole has a hole in its center. It is not a doughnut hole at all, but a smaller doughnut with its own hole, and our doughnut is not whole at all!"

Many people have grabbed on to this situation in disbelief that Will & Kate are telling the truth. Rightfully so when you consider all the red flags. This is why so many people believe that Will & Kate are either getting divorced or separated.

However, what would be the reason for Will & Kate to separate or divorce? Many people speculate that the rumors between Will & Rose Hanbury are true, and William is planning on replacing Kate with Rose. However, that does not seem at all likely to me, as there has never been any substantiation at all to those rumors, even in a British or foreign tabloid. Also, I would suggest that it is unlikely William has the game to pull off an affair given that he gave Kate a pair of binoculars as a present when they were dating. It's unlikely that guy could manage the ins & outs of having an affair.

Whatever is the source of the problem(s) between Will & Kate, it didn't originate in 2024. It had to be something in 2023. What--or whom--is the issue at hand? That is the question.

I too believe Kate had a mental breakdown with subsequent self-harm. It does not make sense that she was "unwell for some time" when she looked perfectly fine at her last Christmas concert and on Christmas Day. The way KP released information and William acted in January does not support that they knew she was "unwell" for some unspecified period of time prior to her hospitalization.

I'd like to point out two articles from this year of likely relevance. First, Kate Mansey's article from mid-March, "Prince William is a team player — why can’t he work with King Charles?"

At Buckingham Palace –– the office of the King and Queen — some are beginning to feel that the heir to the throne might do well to join forces with his father. Instead, Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace are run as two very separate and distinct entities. The first step towards better collaboration between the two courts, it is suggested, is for the heir to the throne to keep the sovereign better informed of his plans. This might be seen to be particularly prudent while the 75-year-old King is following medical advice to stay away from large public appearances while he continues his cancer treatment. [...] It means that Charles has no appetite to attempt to meddle in his son’s decisions, particularly as they both have very different approaches to the job.

The second from The Daily Mail's pearl-clutcher-in-chief, Richard Eden.

When I later spoke to the friend of Prince William, I had hoped that he would bring news of a change to this uninspiring policy. However, what he told me left me worried about the future of the monarchy. The friend said William was in 'full agreement' with his father about the need for a 'slimmed-down monarchy'. He told me: 'When the older members of the family retire, His Royal Highness won't be inviting anyone else to become working royals. It remains to be seen if he will even want his two younger children to be working royals.' At 59, the Duchess of Edinburgh is the only other member of 'The Firm' under the age of 60. This means that by the time William ascends the throne, he and Catherine may be the only full-time royals. 'That is what William wants,' the source claims. 'He sees the small European monarchies as the model for the future.' However, when King Charles made his plans for a 'slimmed-down monarchy', Prince Harry was a key part of them.

Interesting that we didn't hear about William's plans when his grandmother was alive. Or that we still get public photos of Charlotte and Louis for their birthdays, if William is truly not going to have them be working royals as adults. Interesting all the changes he's making tend to be hidden, such as saying he paid taxes when he offered no proof, now that he is the heir to the throne and is his own boss.

[pokidot]

MANDELA — eight

wc: 1,724

It's been a day that the presentation came around, and you had no thought in your head about the consequences anymore. You hadn't even seen the circumference of news breaking out, and you checked The Cyptid Dailies a lot.

Even when you know you should be finding some peace before your trip, you didn't find interest in kicking a brick wall with your shoe in hopes that it would be fragile enough to break.

You began collecting the fragments of information you had, and with your close precision, started piecing them together on the huge corkboard you left empty until now.

Photographs and sketches you either found from Google images or drew out of pure memory adorned the board. You'd like to think they were capturing haunting visages and elusive forms, but you knew that artistic vision included more than 10 minutes of drawing scribbles up until it looks kind of like something unordinary.

While drawing your hands away, your lips curved into a smile. The effervescent delight said probably too much stimulus until you blinked and looked over at the small sound of a hissing whisper reverberating into your thoughts, and to the rest of the room.

You watched as mist almost flew dangerously close to your face, thank to the fan blowing in the room.

"Protip: if you're in a sticky situation and you don't have mace?" Venti lifted a can of setting spray high above his head, firm and unwavering. "Use this right here. It's practically mustard gas. I don't know what Shining Idol Barbara was cooking when she made this—she put Chemical X in it!"

Xiao placed the cards in his hands down, previously entertaining a game of 'Go-fish' with Aether. "And you know this because...?"

"You CANNOT inhale this if you want to be sent to the pearly gates." Venti shook it for emphasis. "It is expensive for a reason, it is NOT just setting spray. It is hair spray, bug killer, and floor cleaner. It's a 4-in-one, and she knew what she was doing when she did it too."

"Talk about sugar, spice, and everything nice." Kazuha sighed.

You didn't know if it was the sense of relief knowing that you partially succeeded, but you kind of forgot that you were now being accompanied by...the entirety of Teyvat University's chess club.

You were a little confused at the sudden notions; they all seemed to have their own motives as to why they're there. You weren't complaining at all. “Wait, really? She makes product now?” You blinked, your expression mildly impressed as you took the can from his hands, reading the label. “Huh…thought she was on hiatus.”

“If I was as rich as her, I’d forget I was in the shackles of being a juggling clown for people's entertainment too.” Only silence followed with the rest of Heizou's words, and he looked at the rest of them. "What?"

“You bite your words. Being a juggling clown is hard work.” Aether chimed in with defense, before his shoulders slacked. “Not…saying she is a juggling clown, of course, but even if she was...it would be a very high paying ca—(Y/N) what are you working on?”

“Right. I need to make a list before this actually starts," You rose your voice happily, suddenly bathed in an area of instant intrigue, "Not everything needs to be entirely perfect...but all the information we need is for when we actually tell this thing to fuck off, or I will instantly kill myself."

Venti whistled lowly. "Self destructive too," He smiled. "Just my type...just my type."

"Get help. Now." Xiao murmured in response to him, gritting his teeth. "There's no use making two trips if we're going to be there to investigate. We don't even have a lead on what it is yet."

"Au contraire, mon frère!"

"Don't...call me that." Xiao watched with furrowed eyebrows as you shuffled to your bag to take it out, the sounds of flurrying, crumpling loose pages in your bag as you dug deeper.

"God, they're like a real Benoit Blanc." Venti's practically had heart eyes.

He looked at the rest of the group there, staring keenly at you to add to your discovery and sighed through his nostrils. "This was more fun than going to a chess tournament?"

"I'm sorry, did you want us to say no? I'm tired of being demolished by the Kamisatos. I'm convinced they go to those just to one day see us dissolve into cinder and ashes." Aether asked in this suspended moment, Xiao letting out a small grunt at him.

"That's because you get your tricks off Tiktok." Kazuha chuckled.

"Feast your eyes!" You grasped the newspaper in your hands firmly, lifting it aloft as if hoisting a sacred artifact.

The five of them hovered over it to read, "PROJECT MORI IN DEVELOPMENT COMING 2017! MORI GROVE RD CONNECTING TO FREEWAY ON TEYVAT."

"Mori Grove is less than thirty minutes away from us if we use the path that connects the freeway. But! To bring so much equipment with us would mean that it'll take us longer to setup. And...who knows if the alleged 'clone' will show up? It's either we take longer when they're already gone, or we wait with a bunch of cameras for nothing."

"The only thing that I can think of that actually 'shapeshifts' into what you're talking about is a nematode." Xiao said. "I promise you the world's mysteries don't extend that far."

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. That's why you've gotta open your miiiind." You said, scrunching your hands up near your head to make exploding sounds while making the motions (to which Venti playfully followed along).

"Stop that." Xiao interrupted abruptly.

You put your hands down to continue, "And—!" As you were about to go on, your voice trailed off. All eyes turned towards the newcomer who entered the clubroom.

You turned your head towards Kuni, your smile instantly became radiant. "You're here! Come, sit, sit!" You rushed towards one of the free chairs, motioning to it's wooden fashion.

Though it wasn't reciprocated, he looked at your blossoming joy expressed through the curvature of your lips. His dull eyes remained devoid to mask his unease, looking away to the rest of his friends.

"What are these idiots doing here?" He seemed at a general discontent that this club was even a thing, but he was nothing but punctual to a meeting.

"It's so nice to see you too, Zu." Heizou pulled his lips together. "So nice."

"You thought we were joking about going?" Kazuha was so delighted you could possibly see chrysanthemums and blossoms around him. "I haven't had this much fun ever since we went fishing."

"Don't even remind me," The teetering stability of Kuni's voice turned from a smooth neutral to a tension. "I'm still pissed Xiao knocked the biggest fish I caught out of my hands before I could take a picture with it."

"You were trying to slap me in the face with it's tail. Don't be mad at me that your ego got in the way of your picture."

"I don't care if my ego was crushing your larynx the way I want to do to you right now. Ya' neva' go against the family, kid. Neva'." Kuni pointed in the direction of him, a small Italian accent laced in his tone.

"...Why are you talking like that?" Venti snickered.

Kuni shook his head to himself, mentally regretting his actions before looking at you, turning his body. "Don't get too gung-ho about your trip. I think you should reconsider it."

"Ohh, here we go again." You crossed your arms against your chest. "What excuse are you going to come up with now?"

"Not so much of an excuse this time, (Y/N)." Kuni held his phone up to your face. "The pathway to Mori Grove is closed, and the town is considering blocking off access to leave at all."

Your face dropped, eyes scanning the article as your face turned slightly grim. "What."

"Oh no...do you have a backup plan, (Y/N)?" Kazuha asked you, but you didn't know how to even process a response to anybody at the moment.

"...No...I don't have a backup plan." Your eyes glazed with a mixture of disbelief and bewilderment, but though you were previously vibrant and bustling, there may as well have been fire in your eyes. "Because this isn't going to happen. Oh HELL no!"

Kuni couldn't help but scoff. "You're going to go against the national guard? I don't think you're going to get far-"

"There could be a nuclear bomb up my ASS RIGHT NOW, I'M CATCHING THIS SHAPESHIFTER IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" You pointed at your best friend to interrupt him, looking at him with unwavering refusal as you grabbed your bag and your laptop. "Meeting over! Get the cars ready at 6AM."

"H-Hey, isn't that a little bit too early for a hunt..?" Aether called out towards you, but before you made a stormy exit, you quickly turned around towards the blond with a squint.

"Six. A. M." And with that, you disappeared from view, and all the six could hear was the faint and tiny footsteps get tinier.

"...Okay, cool. Another sleep paralysis demon to look forward to," Aether thought mildly.

The vacuum left by your absence served as a reminder, the air was so still Heizou broke the silence first, "How does having a nuclear bomb up your ass even correlate to catching..."

"Keep it moving. Don't listen to anything they say." Kuni shook his head, checking the watch on his arm. "It is getting late."

"You heard them! 6AM!" Venti clapped his hands loudly, "They obviously have something they're planning, and we got through a 2 hour dissertation of them hurling out cryptid safety procedures. Bedtime."

Kuni raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry? Who made you co-leader?"

"I did, and if you were as smart as you think you were, you'd be fighting me right now." Venti stuck his tongue out. "No? Thought not."

And naturally, Kuni did want to argue with him, but he kept his mouth shut. He took a sharp breath in, eyes fixated on him until he looked back at the door to see something he swore was peeking from the corner of it. It was now gone.

There was nothing there, and the idea of him being delusional made him slightly annoyed. "Okay. We're leaving, now. Turn the lights off."

prev | masterlist | next

NOTES || filler. don't ask me how long the forum page took me...anyway i'm excited for next chapter ROOOADDD TRIIIIPPPP

TAGLIST: @wisteriarain @akagism2 @murderisokayforme @aeongiies @d4y-dr3am3r @truck-kuns-gf @3lysiaa @ayoitsmarie33 @crucnhice @natsuscrustyscarf @dreamsofminnie @astreaa-express @goj0h @cicibao @xirthia @kylexzz @dollpoetwriting @dreamingkace @strawbxrrytiger

[asimplevampire]

@dreambot is looking for sims for his Lovers Rock bachelorette challenge. I'm always down to make a horrid little man.

Meet Silas Spade*.

Vital Statistics:

Gender: [shrugs in transmasc]. After very publically gender transitioning as a teenager, most people assume Silas is a man, and he's okay with not correcting them.

Pronouns: He/him or it/its; I set them to alternate in game.

Traits: Self-Absorbed/Ambitious/Paranoid

LTW: Become a World Famous Celebrity.

Celebrity Level: B-Lister.

Fame Quirks: Juice Enthusiast/Emotion Bomb

Backstory

Silas is a Hollywood nepo baby. His parents were actors; his mom was the leading lady in just about every historical biopic of the last forty years, and his dad was her co-star in Princess Cordelia's Revenge. They split up after a brief fling-turned-Vegas-wedding and a long, contentious divorce, leaving Silas as a budding child actor firmly under his mom's thumb.

If you were a 90s kid in SimNation, you probably have fond memories of Silas... because he was the star of "Eureka Castle, Girl Detective", an incredibly popular show that ran on the Simsney Channel in the 2000s. To this day, he still gets fan mail for Eureka Castle; to this day, he ignores it. Eureka Castle is its most prominent acting credit by far; even after a gender transition, an age transition, and an acting resume studded with roles like "serial killer" and "hooker #5", the role haunts him to this day.

Silas has just wrapped up its last season on The Urbz (where it plays a side character in Neon East), and while it looks for other work, it's decided to give this reality TV thing a try. After all, it's gotta keep its Actors Guild membership and its insurance.

Personality

Silas is the kind of guy who could ONLY thrive in Hollywood. He's got a Bad reputation for a reason- he's bitchy, demanding, only wants to work with The Best, and sees this whole LOVERS ROCK gig as beneath him. But again-- Guild membership!

He's never interacted with Riot in a professional capacity, but has probably started beef with her on Twitter. About something very stupid. Probably doesn't remember it was her, probably doesn't care.

Silas' actual greatest wish is to genuinely become a world-famous detective. But he's... pretty sure those don't actually exist. Being a detective in the real world means becoming a cop and having other people tell you what to do all day, and if you want to do your job right, no one can know you exist. He doesn't want to be in a police procedural; he wants to be Benoit Blanc.

*(His surname in the gallery is 'Spede', because ??? Maxis wyd??? But it's Spade, like Sam Spade.)

Tragically, I play CC free right now; as long as you keep within his general style, I'm okay with you giving Silas a makeover (especially with skin overlays, ye gads).

[cornchrunchie]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

I'm very excited you tagged me in this, @all-my-worlds-a-stage and @fallingforfandoms! I really enjoy reading the answers from all of you.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

109, which makes around 12 stories per year. Fun fact!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

360,182, which is about the total word count of C.S. Lewis’ seven-book Chronicles of Narnia series. Fun fact #2!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Tatort Münster. Like 99.9 % mostly. I think I have only one story posted on AO3 for a different fandom (Knives Out), though I don’t post everything I write. As you might have guessed from my recent content on this blog, I’ve also started a fic for Good Omens. We will see if I will finish it, let alone post it.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unsurprisingly, the fic for Knives Out has the most Kudos. Less niche than the other ones :)

Tonight Will be a Memory Too – Knives Out, Benoit Blanc/Phillip It's part of Evelyn's job at the musical theater to talk to guests. Once in a while, she gets to meet truly fascinating people. A glimpse into Benoit's and Phillip's life through the eyes of an outsider.

Ein Leben lang daheim – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne Auf der Fortbildung, die sie besuchen, gibt es einen Coronafall und Thiel und Boerne müssen präventiv zwei Wochen lang in Quarantäne.

Schnee von gestern – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne, co-written with Tjej Es wird Rum gemacht und es wird rumgemacht.

Tauchen ist wie Fliegen unter Wasser – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne Im Münsteraner Schwimmbad kommt vor hunderten von Zuschauern eine junge Frau ums Leben. Doch die Ermittlungen gestalten sich für Thiel nicht nur aufgrund der widersprüchlichen Hinweise als schwierig …

Zuhause – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne, co-written with Tjej Thiel ließ ihn gar nicht erst ausreden. Auch wenn das für ihn vielleicht ungewöhnlich war, aber er hatte sich eigentlich schon Pläne für die Feiertage gemacht. „Danke für das Angebot, aber ich wollte mal wieder nach Hause fahren.“

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I do! I try to answer every single one, even if it might take me a while to do so. Comments mean a lot to me and I appreciate when someone takes the time to write one. I'm especially fond of those short comment conversations, and the interaction with like-minded people. I made some friends that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write a lot of angst and if I do, there will probably be at least a comforting ending. One of my rare fics, if not the only one, with angst throughout is Alles (Tatort Münster, Thiel & Boerne with hints of possible slash). Even after several years, I still like this one a lot.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, what exactly does happiest mean, right? The great majority of my fics end with two people getting together, a storyline that tends to be quite happy in itself. One fic I consider to have a very happy ending where there is no direct romance to the plot is Ein Tännlein aus dem Walde (Tatort Münster). It's with almost everybody on the team, so a lot of Found Family feelings. I guess the Christmas theme, the high spirits of everybody and this feeling of... content make this a very happy fic to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I can't remember any hate, so I guess this is a No.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Depends on the fic but sometimes I do. I've written explicit and less explicit stuff alike. It's been a while since I last wrote something explicit, though.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I've never written a crossover. I rarely read them, too.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If so, I haven't noticed.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

None that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

As it becomes clear through my top fics: Yes, several and in different ways! I've co-written some fics where we took turns in writing, some where one person wrote the beginning and the other person completed the story, some where we brainstormed together and one person wrote most of it by themselves. I really enjoy writing with another person! The discussions, different ideas and chances to read parts I haven't written keep me excited about the story. It's like a series of prompts!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I would have to lie to say that it wasn't Thiel/Boerne from Tatort Münster. They were the first ship I can remember shipping (apart from Ernie and Bert, maybe) and even though I don't agree with everything done in the canon, I hold them close to my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I once started writing a Groundhog-Day-inspired fic for Tatort Münster where Boerne relives the same day over and over again and thinks it's about a murder case when it's actually about, shocked noises, love. The idea is still interesting to me but I doubt I will find the motivation to properly plot this.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Something that comes relatively easy to me and what people tend to highlight in their comments is the dialogues I write. I think they're what I like best about many of my stories.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not good at writing quickly, as I tend to overthink. And it’s difficult for me to keep the right tempo of telling the story, and having a conclusive story arch, especially in long fics. I sometimes feel like I randomly elaborate on parts of the fic rather than actually think about it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it suits the story, why not. I don’t think I have done it yet, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tatort Münster :)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This one is hard. Of course, my writing style changed over the years (developed, I should hope) but I still feel very fond of most of my stories. If I absolutely have to pick a favorite, it might be Tauchen ist wie Fliegen unter Wasser (Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne). It took me about five years to finish this story and I am proud of all the love and work I put into it. Coming up with the murder crime, making it interesting and connecting it to the romance of Thiel and Boerne was challenging, and I am happy with how it turned out. The fic still means a lot to me.

This was so much fun! Props to everybody who read this far.

I think most people I know have already done this by now, so feel free to ignore: @cricrithings @holly-hop @keinbutterdieb @khalaris and anybody else that feels like it!

[hellolittleogre]

Writing Patterns (tag game)

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

I was tagged by @iwritesometimes Thank you this was so much fun!Ten fics is a good long way back, the oldest of these were posted in 2021.

It was little known, and hardly at all marked in the annals of Gondor, for all that it was etched with remarkable clarity in Aragorn’s memory, that for three short, yet terrifying, hours the hobbit Peregrin Took had held full sway of the seating chart for the King’s wedding (Lord of the rings, Gen)

2. Billy had been nursing his slug of whiskey in the saloon long enough that it had grown warm from his hands as he turned the glass round and round (The Magnificent Seven (2016), Billy/Goody)

3. ”But why do I have to come?” Johnny whines from the backseat like a five-year old, as if going to a Christmas party with free booze was some sort of unimaginable hardship just because it required a button down, but Amanda could ask herself the same question (unfinished Kobra Kai fic from Morgue files)

4. Barak’s quarters in the Rivan citadel were large and comfortable, they were close to Anheg’s as befitted the Earl of Trellheim and the king’s cousin (The Belgariad, NSFW, Silk/Barak)

5. “Do you have your hat, and your allergy pills? And hand sanitizer in those tiny little bottles?” (Glass Onion, NSFW, Benoit Blanc/Phillip Blanc)

6. “You are bringing Lan Wangji to Vulcan for Christmas?” Jiang Cheng said, pausing with his glass of juice halfway to his mouth. (The Untamed X Star Trek, Lan Zhan/Wei Ying NSFW)

7. After their midnight revelations Billy had optimistically imagined that as soon as Sam had closed the door behind him he and Goody fall on each other like those insufferable couples at airports, or possibly wolves at the zoo feeding time (The Magnificent Seven (2016) Billy/Goodnight).

8. Once the dust had settled and humanity had come to the conclusion that, by and large, it had survived there had been months of celebrations, galas and press tours (Pacific Rim, Herrman Gottleib/Newton Geiszler)

9. The first time it happens it's on the boat, in the confusion of the shark returning, the noise of the barrels thumbing against the hull and water rushing in and everyone running around (Jaws, Martin Brody/Matt Hooper).

10. Ward spends the fall holiday on New Penzance. (Moonrise Kingdom, Scoutmaster Ward/Sharp).

I dont really know if I can see a pattern, I would say that since I am pretty much a situational comedy writer I tend to start with the set up for the situation as soon as possible. In four the whole premise of the fic is in the first sentence so I guess I start with exposition and when I have the table set so to speak its easier to get off the ground.

I tag: @poemsingreenink @thesummoningdark @lazaefair @fontainebleau22

[aprettyspy]

@fluffbruary Day 2 for the prompt 'trace'. Benoit Blanc comes home to his husband Phillip after his weekend at the Thrombeys

Voracious Mind

Phillip stared at the envelope of cash occupying the exact center point of his kitchen island. Two days ago he had dug out a tape measure from the depths of the hallway cupboard, finding it buried between a pair of en point shoes and a broken tennis racket. The wad of cash was exactly 2 ¾ " high and had been delivered three days previously. It remained sat in its unmarked, plain brown envelope. Benoit had opened it, read the accompanying note and thrown it all down where it still rested. 

Not given to superstition as a general rule, something about this mysterious wad of cash made Phillip nervous. It was too much of a coincidence that it's delivery had occurred just 45 minutes after their ancient and dilapidated water heating system had finally given up with an impressive explosion that had brought with it a portion of their kitchen ceiling. As much as they both loved this apartment, it was bloody expensive to maintain. 

Given that his husband had dashed out the door only a few hours later, and had sent exactly one text message since (It seems this case revolves around the name Hugh, my darling, but what a terrible name!), Phillip's hackles were well and truly risen. 

His best attempts to distract himself with work, walks and a very long call to his daughter back in England had not worked. He was on guard, expecting something. He just couldn't pinpoint what. 

He decided to assuage his building anxiety through the tried and tested medium of vigorous cleaning. He was head down, scrubbing the bath (when he did get home, Benoit would want to use it) and, yet again, resolved to replace these dark tiles when he heard the door slam.

"Darlin? Phil, darlin, you home?"

Phillip whipped off his cleaning pinny and tried to smooth his hair as he dashed down the hall in relief to have Benoit home safely.

"There you are my beautiful boy! My God but I've had some weekend!"

Phillip helped Benoit ease off his heavy wool coat and headed for the kettle. 

Already down to his braces (twenty years in America and Phillip would never call them 'suspenders') and shirt sleeves, Benoit paced, pulling the braces down off his shoulders 

"They were just the most terrible people, that Thrombey family, just awful. They were so rude to Marta - oh, did I tell you about Marta? Just the loveliest creature, you would adore her, we must invite her up, oh thank you-" Benoit took the tea Phillip handed him, "and just awful to one another." He shuddered at the memory.

Phillip took up his customary spot on the middle of the sofa. It was always like this after a case. Benoit's head processed and stored everything he had learned and he liked to do his expounding while on the move. His monologue continued uninterrupted, except by sips of tea. When that was finished, Benoit began to undo his shirt buttons. Phillip watched, knowing it was nearly his moment to step in. He had learned long ago that this exposition could wind his husband up even more, leading to a night of sleepless tossing and turning in the bed, followed by pacing and eventually a cigar on the terrace. 

"Benoit." Phillip called softy. It went unheeded and the pacing continued, shirt now thrown to the sofa.

"- not one word of their Mother, not a single photograph in all that clutter-"

"Blanc!" Louder and more commanding. Benoit stopped and looked at his husband, eyebrows raised.

"Sit." Phillip ordered, indicating the floor between his legs where he sat on the sofa.

Benoit sat, relaxed back against the sofa and breathed deeply. "I'm sorry, darlin', they did infuriate me so." 

"I know, but shush now." Phillip began to knead at his husband's tense shoulders. His strong musculature resisted the massage at first but Phillip persisted. He pushed Benoit to sit forward slightly and began working systematically down the muscles on either side of his husband's spine. As he worked, he listened to the evening out of breath, sensed the quieting of that extraordinary, voracious mind. Phillip used his index finger to trace back up Benoit's spine from lower back to the base of his skull and returned to work on the shoulders. Benoit's huge sigh let out all the stresses of the case. Phillip's own, private Benoit was back home with him again. 

Phillip rested his forehead on his husband's now pliable broad shoulder.

"We need to go and buy a new water heater, love."

[thebongcloudopening]

disco elysium au. harry wakes up on the floor with no memories. beside him? amnesiac benoit blanc.

[chipcheesesandwich]

My dream plot for Knives Out 3...

Benoit Blanc wakes up in a hospital, quite beaten up. He doesn't recognize being transported to the hospital nor why he is covered in such injuries. He tries to get up to assess, but he realizes that he is handcuffed to the hospital bed. After the doctor checks on him, he is finally told by Philip that he is a suspect to a murder. The two leave the hospital and Blanc is on house arrest during the investigation by the police. He immediately tries to gather evidence and trace back his steps before he ends up in the hospital while he is on house arrest. But, the more he collects evidence and recollects his memory, he keeps reaching to only one conclusion; Benoit Blanc is the murderer.

Did Blanc commit a crime he has no memory to, or is he able to solve the mystery and find out who the actual murderer is and who wants him dead?

[ogsherlockholmes]

Benoit Blanc

I know I’m not the first person to say this (my current feed proves my point) but Benoit Blanc from Knives Out is clearly a Holmes adaptation, and, surprisingly, a lot closer to the canon than some of the more popular ones, since it was more like the book version and not the agreed societal misinterpretation. Here are some of the comparisons I found (I’m going to use Knives Out: Glass Onion for this because I watched it yesterday so it’s still fresh in my memory, but the first movie would work too).  

This is probably obvious, but major spoilers for the movie. If you haven’t watched it, please do, it is so good.

In probably one of the most surprising scenes in cinema, James Bond- Benoit Blanc (also know as Daniel Craig) is lying in a bath with a rubber duck, smoking a cigar, surrounded by books and drinks, wearing what I think is a fez (correct me if I’m wrong, and I apologise if I am), playing Among Us. This has got nothing to do with the post but Daniel Craig’s transition from smooth, suave, James Bond to whatever the fuck Benoit Blanc is is inspiring. 

Not only is Blanc playing the game, he’s also terrible at it and doesn’t understand it. He’s playing with his friends online, and they mention that Phillip told them he hasn’t left the bath in a week (exaggeration, because I can imagine if that was true he’d literally look like a raisin). Blanc also said that was a hyperbole. There’s a knock on the door, and he shouts for Phillip to open it, then tells his friends that he ‘lose[s] it between cases anyway’ and he ‘might be going insane’. He also says ‘My mind is a fueled-up racing car, and I got nowhere to drive it.’ and ‘I don’t need puzzles or games. The last thing I need is a vacation.I need danger, a hunt, a challenge. I need a great case.’ Phillip shouts out that someone is there with a box, (the puzzle box from before), and Blanc smiles.

There’s too much, there is honestly too much, and it’s his first scene in the movie. 

Starting off with the bath thing, that’s already a very Sherlock thing to do. And the fact he was reading and smoking in there as well. I couldn’t get a clear picture of what exactly he was reading, but I could see some Penguin Classics in there, and, going off A Study in Scarlet, Sherlock had vast knowledge of ‘sensational literature’, like horrors, which would be published in those editions. 

Because I see Sherlock as being autistic coded, any adaptation of him would be the same. So, him struggling to cope with lockdown, like a lot of autistic people, and calling out someone’s hyperbole adds to this.

There’s the part about him not understanding Among Us, but I’ll get to that. 

Then there are the quotes. I don’t think it gets any more obvious than this. In The Sign of the Four, Sherlock says, ‘My mind...rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.’. Blanc’s quotes are very similar to this. Sherlock also states that he gives up stimulants when he has work, and it’s not exactly the same, but Blanc was heavily smoking and drinking since he didn’t have a case (not saying he stops when he does, but neither does Sherlock). 

I haven’t spoken about Phillip yet, but he is a clear Watson figure. He’s also Blanc’s partner, which isn’t confirmed in the movie but heavily implied. Also, it’s Hugh Grant. Nothing to do with Watson but... Hugh Grant. Not only that, but this is one of the only adaptations which Sherlock and John are together. I never thought it would be an American adaptation with Daniel Craig and Hugh Grant as the couple, but sure.

When Blanc meets the rest of the friend groups, he’s awkward and a bit uncomfortable (autistic coding, again). The friends recognise him and ask him about the cases he was involved in, but we’re only told the names, not the content, similar to the books where Watson mentions past cases but doesn’t elaborate.

Also, the outfit. It’s a stretch but it has to be Holmes inspired. If it was a modern day summer, Sherlock would definitely wear it. 

Then, Birdie tries to flirt with him, and he’s clearly very uncomfortable. From what we’ve seen, he’s gay, and I’m not saying that straight men can’t be uncomfortable if they’re being flirted with, but if we compare it to other Holmes adaptations, there’s a similar reaction. He gently tries to reject them and clearly doesn’t enjoy it. When she tries again, he doesn’t know what to do. Birdie only backs off when he says he wears her brand of sweatpants and she realises he’s gay.

There’s also more autistic coding in this, because when Birdie asks what material his shirt is, he answers honestly, and she turns away because she’s uninterested, since she didn’t actually want to know. She’s taken this as a rejection and the end of the conversation. As an autistic person, I have this interaction far too many times.

When Blanc arrives on the island, he is overjoyed at the opportunity and continuously thanks Miles for inviting him. Again, he’s very awkward, specifically about the bags. 

Blanc always seems to be confused with the technology on the island, but never afraid. This could sort of be a way of bring Sherlock into the modern age, but him still not being modern, if that makes any sense. Meaning, he lives in the 21st century, but he isn’t from it. So, the way Blanc reacts to technology is similar to how Sherlock Holmes from the books would act if something time travelled him over a century forward. For example, in a scene like the one with the weird stick insect luggage porter thing (?), Blanc is confused but amazed, and isn’t scared, like how Sherlock admirers modern technology but isn’t used to it. 

Throughout the next few scenes, Blanc is shown gathering intel about the other guests. Later on, we find out Helen was with him, so he wasn’t alone, but I’m just focusing on the first impressions of it. In the books, Sherlock would usually do stuff like this. 

Skipping to the dinner scene, the most obvious evidence is Blanc deducing the entire crime, then being confused when everyone got upset. This is another bit of autism coding, since he misunderstood the situation, thinking he was supposed to solve the case as quickly as possible (which, seems more reasonable) but instead allow the other guests to talk in. When he was asking if there was a prize involved, it was similar to the time Sherlock was requesting a cheque if he solved the case, and the client was confused but agreed, then Sherlock explained it for him (I can’t remember what book this was or the exact details however). 

Then, of course, Miles himself mentions Sherlock, saying “As Watson said to Holmes”, then being interrupted by Blanc solving the case. I have no idea what Miles was going to say, because Watson said a lot of things to Sherlock, but again, another reference. 

I’m looking back at this and I went into a lot more detail then I expected to, so I’m just going to skip through the other parts. I don’t know, I might add to this later. 

Blanc appears as an almost fatherly figure to Helen, and, as seen a surprising amount in the books, Sherlock liked to adopt a lot of his clients (basically all the Violets, etc). In the first movie, Blanc’s relationship with Marta could be interpreted the same way. 

He mentions Cluedo at one point, claiming he doesn’t understand it, which wasn’t in the books but (unfortunately) immediately brought BBCSherlock to mind. Also, the Among Us thing, another game you would expect a detective to be good at.

Blanc’s use of metaphors (’It’s like putting a loaded gun on the table and turning off the lights’), his vocabulary and just his general manner is all reflective of Sherlock Holmes. 

So, it’s not an exact adaptation, since it has it’s own plot and Sherlock... doesn’t sound like a cowboy. But, it still has the same Sherlockian essence to the Benoit Blanc character.

[agentstovring]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

One of the best videos of the year has to be Amanda's Funeral Roast. I love the series, and this installment brought us two of my favorite funeral guests ever: Olivia as Sarah Christ and Shayne as Benoit Blanc.

Honestly, this tweet from Courtney:

And, of course, the iconic moment that symbolized the return of the king and love's enduring nature: The reunification of Ian and Anthony. Obviously I love that Anthony is back with Smosh, but the most important part was knowing that those two were friends again. I would say it was the moment we'd all been waiting for, but I had honestly stopped believing it would ever happen. I'm very happy to be wrong. Friendship. Always. Wins.

Finally, a huge thank you to you, Stella! Thank you for putting in all this work, writing and sending these asks to all of us throughout the month; it's been so much fun thinking about my answers and getting to know other community members through theirs ❤️

For the final time (at least for now) thank you for asking!

[tradcrs]

STATS

name: astoria madeline kidd

nicknames: tori, maddy, kidd

age: twenty eight

hometown: nashville, tennessee

occupation: farm hand weapons trader

living situation: with a roommate

fictional chara inspo: kaylee frye (firefly), sam carter (stargate), benoit blanc (knives out), belle (beauty and the beast), riley davis (macgyver)

BIO

faint memories, vague glimpses of a past that doesn’t exist anymore. that only really exists in faded photographs and home video tapes that crackle to life under the cover of darkness. as a teenager you don’t ever believe your world is truly going to end. sure the summers will end and you’ll get pulled back into the drag of school, but that’s the most disappointment you have to look forward to.

she grew up on her family’s farm, far out in the countryside of tennessee and beyond the reach of any real danger. news of the first cases of the virus reached her tennessee town when she was 23 years old, but no one took it very seriously. within months tori and her family were desperately trying to survive, waiting out the incoming storm on their farm. by the next year she was running from the shells of her former parents, a small group finding solace on the family land with while she attempted to reach out to her uncle.

like some locked and loaded angel on high, her uncle made his way to where tori was holed up. and from that point on he taught her everything else she needed to know to survive this terrifying new world.

wind of the various settlements popping up reached the pair a few months after their founding, and they were thankfully able to find a new home at the abandoned shopping mall.

over the past four years tori has done odd jobs for the settlement, but easily slipped into the job of a weapons trader about two years ago. she discovered her decent mechanical aptitude and history with weapons on the farm came in handy with repairs and trading, and could learn whatever she needed to on the job. quick thinking and a wicked analytical outlook on issues has caused her, surprisingly, to become incredibly good at her position.

personality wise, she’s got a heart of gold and a tender spirit. tori will do what’s necessary when needed, but will try to figure out less lethal solutions first if she can. she’s also, admittedly, chaotic to a fold. catch her hanging haphazardly upside down from a tower in order to gain some advantage while traveling. she loves tinkering with whatever tech scavengers find on their runs, so feel free to toss all manner of things at her. she’s a lover, not a fighter . . . just mind the barbed-wire bat and crossbow.