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crucifiedfaerie · 8 months ago

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Nicotine Stains | Pt. 2 ༉₊˚✧

Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU

➴ Summary: As your relationship with Kylo grows behind closed doors, so does your worry and confusion about what exactly you are to him.

➴ Part One

➴ Word Count: 5.2k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, modern!delinquent!kylo au, smoking, swearing, quite a bit of angst, kylo is a stupid man who doesn't know how real relationships work apparently, he also doesn't know what communication is, reader is in her head about it, mutual pining, finnpoe my loves make an appearance (its canon to me idgaf), fluff, kinda hurt with comfort, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, car sex, softdom!kylo, kinda breeding kink ?? oops), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams @beautifulbluejay @mochiseni )

A/N: im alive !!!!! holy shit i promised this would be out in like november. oops. the writers block has been so real im sorry. now that i have this out though, chapter two of growing pains will be coming next !! i promise i didn't abandon that.... anyways i hope you enjoy !!

masterlist

You impatiently sat, knees tucked beneath you and head resting on the back of your family’s couch so you could look out the window. The men in your life had been away for a week and a half, and while you couldn't deny having Finn out of your hair for once was like a peaceful vacation in itself, you missed Kylo like crazy. Having to look at his sleek, black Charger parked in front of your house every time you looked out of your window didn't necessarily help either.

When he told you Finn had asked him to tag along on their annual camping trip, you couldn't help but laugh. The image of Kylo trying to fit his tall, broad frame into a tiny shared tent with your father and brother was too hilarious to you.

"What’s so funny, kid?" He had laughed back at you.

Usually, Poe was the one to go on those trips with your brother and father, but with him away at pilot school, Finn had been lonely recently. He wasn't expecting himself to take it so hard, but gods did he miss Poe. Despite missing Kylo, you were glad he agreed to go and keep Finn company. Your father, of course, was also overjoyed to hear that Kylo would be joining.

Your eyes lit up as your father's beat-up car pulled into the driveway. You watched as they unpacked the car and exchanged words you couldn't hear before Kylo parted ways and headed to his car with his bag hanging off his shoulder. When he reached the driver's side door, he noticed you in the window and gave you a subtle wink before getting into the Charger and pulling away.

Part of you was expecting... hoping for him to come in, but you should have known he wouldn't. It's not like your family knew of your weird relationship that had been blossoming for the past month. You couldn't help but still feel a little disappointed, you hoped maybe he would have just said fuck it and come in and kissed you. Maybe he didn't miss you as much as you had missed him? Your heart sank at the idea.

The mixed signals Kylo had been giving you were starting to give you whiplash. One minute he would be in your room treating you like you're the only person in the world who matters to him, and the next he'd be standing in the kitchen talking to Finn or your mother, not even giving you so much as a glance.

The thought of asking him about what exactly the two of you were honestly made you wanna die. You didn't want to come off as clingy and ruin whatever it was you had, but the twinge of hurt that came with every time he ignored your presence was starting to become… too much.

You sighed and walked upstairs to your room, feeling defeated. You practically collapsed in your chair before putting on your headphones and starting on some schoolwork, attempting to think about anything but Kylo.

A thump muffled by the music in your ears broke you from your calculus-induced trance. When you turned around in your chair you were met with Kylo on your bedroom floor, who you assumed had just fallen through your window. You giggled at him, pulling your headphones down to rest around your neck.

He groaned before sitting up and smiling at you. "I meant to do that."

"Sure." You laughed, getting out of your seat to join him on the floor.

Kylo leaned against the wall, pulling you into his lap. He gave you a quick kiss before pulling away and looking down at you with those pretty brown eyes you can never seem to get enough of these days. "I leave for nearly two weeks to go into the middle of nowhere, and I can't even get a text from my girl when I get home?" He asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

You felt the warmth creep across your cheeks at the way he called you his. "I got carried away with homework, I didn't even realize what time it was." You glanced at the window behind him, noticing the dark indigo hue of the sky.

Kylo smiled, peppering small kisses down your jaw. "What were you listening to?" He lightly tapped your headphones with his long fingers. You took them off before carefully placing them over his ears. "Chevelle? I see my good taste continues to rub off on you kid." He grinned.

"Don't be so full of yourself. My dad loves Chevelle, I got it from him." You laughed, taking the headphones from him and tossing them into your chair. Kylo smiled before standing up, taking you with him, and setting you on your bed gently. His kiss was needy, and he slowly pushed you backward until you were lying down.

He pulled away, out of breath slightly. "Do you know how much I missed this? You were on my mind every night I was there... I couldn't even jack off because we were in that stupid tent..." He paused, shutting his eyes. "You didn't hear that."

You giggled. "You jerk off thinking about me? Are you obsessed with me or something?"

Kylo laughed, rolling his eyes. "You idiot." He attacked your face with kisses that tickled, causing you to let out a half scream. "Shhh kid, your mom's gonna think you're being murdered up here."

As if he had summoned her, you heard a knock at your bedroom door. Kylo quickly stood up from your bed, rushing over to your closet and maneuvering himself inside before shutting the door quietly.

You shook your head at him, stifling a laugh and taking your seat back at your desk, pretending to look like you were doing something. "You can come in."

Your mother opened the door with a soft creak. "Were you talking to someone?"

You quickly fabricated a lie. "I was just on the phone with a friend from my class."

Your mom nodded, briefly glancing around your room. "I actually came up here to tell you to ask Kylo if he's coming to dinner on Friday. I meant to ask when they came home earlier, but he left so fast I missed him."

Your hands felt sweaty. Why would she ask you to ask him? Did she know? "Why wouldn't you ask Finn to talk to Kylo?"

She leaned on the doorframe slightly. "Well he's been driving you to and from class a lot recently, just ask him for me tomorrow would you? And you better make sure to thank that boy for driving you around! It's very nice of him."

It took everything in you to hold back the laugh that threatened to surface. You just knew Kylo was doing the same. "Yeah, I'll ask him." You had almost forgotten you had class in the morning. Fuck.

"Thank you. Goodnight, I love you." She began to shut your door. "Remember. Tell him thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, I love you." You laughed as you listened to her footsteps disappear down the hall.

You leaned forward in your chair to open your closet door. Kylo chuckled softly. "Is there something you needed to say to me?... Sorry, I couldn't hear the conversation very well with this door in the way." He smirked, taking a step towards you.

"Oh shut up." You smiled back at him.

He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his long arms around you. Your face pressed into his shirt, the smell of blackberries and pomelo from his cologne filling your senses. "It's fine, you can thank me in different ways." He whispered into the top of your head.

You giggled nervously, feeling your face get hot again. "Yeah?"

Kylo took your face into his hands and leaned back as if to study you. "Yeah..." He smirked. "But not tonight, you have class tomorrow, remember?" He kissed you again before letting you go and making his way towards your window.

You groaned at him. "Why not just stay the night?" You asked sweetly, following him.

He smiled down at you with adoration. "What, so we both wake up late and you miss your class? Your parents would hate me." Kylo smirked

My mother and father could never hate you, stupid.

"Fine." You sighed, not having the courage to argue.

He leaned down and kissed you again, deeper this time. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." You said it so quietly you weren't sure if he even heard it. He ducked out of your window, shutting it quietly. You watched as he climbed down and went to his car in the darkness. Once his tail lights had disappeared at the end of your street, you collapsed onto your bed, allowing your body to succumb to sleep and silence your racing mind.

Friday afternoon, you sat at the table in your overly warm kitchen, trying to finish some classwork as your mother cooked. The sound of the doorbell made your heart leap out of your chest. You'd been anticipating today all week and while you were hoping it was Kylo at the door, a part of you was also hoping he'd show up late so you wouldn't have to endure getting ignored by him so much.

You heard your dad open the door. "Hi Son, what a pleasant surprise!" You felt your palms get clammy. "Finn! Come down here!" Your father shouted up the stairs. You craned your neck to look around the corner and see who it was, hearing Finn's quick footsteps as he made his way down the steps.

It was Poe. He stood in the foyer, dressed nicely but still wearing that worn, brown leather jacket he always wore. He held a bouquet of orange and white lilies. You smiled, those were Finn's favorite.

"Poe!" Finn nearly knocked Poe over with how quickly he hugged him. "You said you wouldn't be back until summer!"

Poe wrapped his arms around him, laughing. "You know I had to surprise you." He pressed a kiss to Finn's forehead. "Hey, don't crush the flowers, they barely made it on the trip down here."

Finn pulled away, beaming at him. He took the flowers into his hands before kissing Poe.

You looked at your mother, who was grinning almost as wide as Finn was. "Aren't they just adorable? When you find someone, they better treat you as good as Poe treats Finn." She smiled at you. You gave her a weak smile back and nodded, looking back at the textbook in front of you.

You couldn't help but wish Kylo would do that. Showing up at your door with flowers, instead of sneaking through your window no later than 11 pm to smoke weed and fuck. It wasn't like your parents wouldn't approve of him... they have always adored Kylo for no reason at all. You attempted to focus on the pages in front of you, it was ridiculous to dwell so deeply on a man you weren't even actually sure was yours.

Kylo showed up fashionably late of course. Your mother beamed at the sight of him standing in the entryway. "Kylo honey, I was worried you weren't going to come. Go ahead and sit."

He smiled sweetly at her. "You know I wouldn't miss your wonderful cooking for anything." To your surprise, he took the seat right beside you, something he never does when he's over for dinner.

Other than small glances, Kylo did not acknowledge your presence at the beginning of dinner. He mostly caught up with Poe and talked cars with your father. As you picked at the food on your plate, you felt a large, warm hand rest on your thigh. When you turned your head to look up at Kylo, he seemed unphased, deep in conversation with Poe.

"How is pilot school treating you, man?" Kylo asked, his one hand inching further up your thigh as he took a bite from his fork with the other hand.

You felt warmth creep across your cheeks as you clenched your thighs together, causing his grip on you to tighten slightly.

He cannot possibly be serious? The fucking dinner table?

You looked at him again, chewing on the inside of your mouth and attempting to relax as much as you could. Kylo glanced down at you briefly, a sly smirk playing at his lips and his pupils large. He turned back to his conversation with Poe as he inched his long fingers underneath your skirt, brushing them against your clothed cunt.

You felt a moan threaten to escape your lips so you pretended to clear your throat, causing Kylo to fight back a grin. He was enjoying this way too much... This was all too much. You quickly grabbed his hand in an attempt to keep him from going any further. Thank god for your mother's tablecloth or everyone would have seen what was happening.

You weren't sure what it was, maybe the obvious flush on your face, but your mother had noticed something was up. "Is something wrong sweetheart?"

You tried to think of something, anything reasonable to say but your brain felt so foggy.

Oh you know, Finn's best friend and so-called 'angel' in your eyes is playing with my cunt under the dinner table but doesn't have the decency to take me out on a date, no biggie.

"I'm fine, it's just really hot in here." You managed to get out, fiddling with the neck of your sweater. Kylo had removed his hand which was now resting on your knee. You sighed, silently thanking the gods of every pantheon you could think of. Moaning in front of your entire family at dinner wasn't exactly ideal. Despite the wetness growing in your panties, you wanted nothing more than to strangle him right there.

The rest of dinner was a blur, and at some point, Finn, Poe, and Kylo had disappeared to the basement, most likely to drink and play video games. This allowed you to sneak away to your room, the noise from the TV downstairs dissipating into a soft murmur as you shut your bedroom door behind you.

"FINN! I'm getting obliterated over here and you're on the other side of the map fucking around!"

"I'm literally almost there calm down!"

Kylo sat on the couch, listening as Finn and Poe bickered over the game they were playing, loud gunshots and explosions emanating from the television as Poe was, in fact, being obliterated.

His knee bounced up and down nervously. As much as he enjoyed seeing Poe again and playing video games like old times, all Kylo could think about was seeing you again.

You had seemed a little off today, did he do something wrong?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, taking a few minutes to type, delete, and retype his message to you, finally deciding on something lighthearted.

Kylo: where'd you disappear to kid? you're missing out on some riveting gameplay down here.

The blue glow of his screen illuminated in his hands a few minutes later, and he felt a wave of excitement course through his body when he saw that you had responded.

♡: i forgot i had a paper i needed to finish.

Kylo frowned at his phone, it was 9:30 pm on a Friday. Surely he had done something to upset you. He sighed before trying to formulate another text to send back to you.

Finn’s voice pulled him from his anxious thoughts. “There are more beers in the garage, I’ll be right back.” Kylo watched as he kissed Poe quickly before sprinting up the stairs.

“So,” Poe started, leaning closer with a grin on his face. “Any new girls or are you still fixated on your best friend's sister?”

Kylo groaned, knowing this would come up. “That was in middle school, I wouldn’t have told you then had I known now you’d still be bringing this up years later.” He laughed nervously.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ren.” Poe laughed. “Elementary, middle, high school… Hell, four months ago before I left, you were talking about her.” He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth before continuing. “I don’t know why you won’t just go for it. Their parents already love you, I don’t think it’ll be a big deal like you think it will be.”

“You don’t get it Poe, they like me as Finn’s friend. She’s in college and I have nothing ahead of me except a court date for a speeding ticket next week. But if you must know, we’ve been… talking and hanging out for the past month and I’m pretty sure I’ve already made her mad at me so… yeah.” Kylo said tiresomely.

Poe’s eyes lit up. “What the hell dude? Were you just not going to tell me-”

“We got lucky, there was only three left.” Their conversation was cut short, to Kylo’s relief, by Finn coming down the stairs holding three crisp cans of beer, the condensation leaving a damp mark on the front of his shirt.

“I was actually about to head home.” Kylo said, standing from the old, sunken couch.

Finn groaned in protest, setting the cans on the water-stained coffee table. “Just stay for another game or two, I’ll let you take my spot.”

“Yeah, just another game or two.” Poe chimed in, his eyes wide, silently pleading with him to stay in hopes Kylo would tell him more.

“Sorry guys, I’m just really tired tonight.” Kylo shot Poe a look. “I’m coming back over tomorrow.” With Finn’s back turned momentarily, he took the opportunity to mouth “Drop it.”

“Fine, but no flaking out on us or we will drag you out of your home.” Finn smirked.

Kylo nodded in agreement, laughing slightly, before making his way up the stairs into the kitchen. Your parents had already gone to bed, the refrigerator humming and ticking clock being the only noise that filled the quiet darkness.

He silently made his way up the stairs to your room, taking a breath once he reached your door before opening it slowly. Once inside, he noticed your empty desk chair and your computer which cast a soft glow on you, lying face first on your bed. You turned your head to look at him.

"Making really great progress on that paper I see." He smirked at you, that stupid smirk you love to hate and hate to love.

"I'm tired." That was all you could manage to say to him. After his stunt at the dinner table and his general behavior in the past month, you honestly wanted nothing more than for him to just go away.

“What's wrong pretty girl?” Kylo’s voice was soft and sweet like honey. You felt the bed dip beside you and two strong arms wrap around you. “Are you mad at me for dinner? I-”

You sat straight up to look at him, causing him to stand up from your bed. “Yes! Yes, I’m mad at you for dinner.” You shouted at him, as much as a whisper would allow you to. “You don't even have the decency to come through the front door most times, and when you do, you act like I don't exist. I don't understand you, if I had known I'd just be a fuck buddy to you I wouldn't have given you my virginity in the first place.”

For a few moments, Kylo stared at you. He looked surprised but there was a softness and concern in his eyes. “That isn't all you are to me, I promise… I just... feel like I'm not good enough for you sometimes.”

You sighed, collapsing back into your pillows. Your capacity to care or argue with him was spent. “I wish you had figured that out before you invited me out onto the roof to smoke with you.”

The room was quiet for a few moments before you heard the sound of your window opening and closing. He left your house wordlessly, with nothing but dead silence left in his wake.

You felt hot tears sting at the corners of your eyes, regretting nothing more than ever allowing Kylo to get close to you.

Asshole.

You hadn't realized you’d fallen asleep until you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing. Lifting your head from your tear-soaked pillow, you tried to adjust your eyes to the brightness of your phone to see who was calling you so late.

Kylo.

You nearly groaned, debating whether or not it was a better idea to just ignore him. You ultimately decided against your better judgment.

“What do you want?” You spoke sleepily into the phone.

“Just come down here for a moment.”

You got up and looked out your window. Kylo stood in front of your house, leaning against his car with his phone pressed against his face. “No.” You were about to hang up on him before you heard his voice again.

“You can hate me, that's fine. I just want to show you one thing.” There was a quick desperation to his voice. “Please.”

“Fine.” You sighed, hanging up the phone before slipping your shoes on quickly and opening your window. Once on your roof, you had wished you’d grabbed a jacket. The cold, midnight air nipped at your exposed arms, causing you to shiver.

You climbed down your mother's trellis, taking extra care not to crush any of the vines that would bloom beautifully in the spring.

You felt the frozen dew from the grass brush across your ankles as you made your way to Kylo’s car and watched as he opened the passenger side door for you. The warmth of the car interior enveloped you as you sat down, and once fully inside, he shut your door before practically running around his car to his side.

He pulled away from your house with a roar from his engine, and you hoped your parents didn't hear it.

“Where are we going?” You asked unamused.

“Somewhere I like to go when I want to be alone... I think you’ll like it.” Kylo said softly, glancing at you once before focusing on the road again.

You sighed, watching as he pulled onto a backroad. The canopy of trees shaded the car from the moonlight, only the glow of the radio dimly illuminating the interior.

“You really shouldn't have, you know… Taking me somewhere nice like the forest before murdering me.” You said sarcastically.

Kylo laughed. “Where else would I dispose of the body? Suburbs are much too populated.” He joked, reaching for his cigarettes before offering one to you.

You tried to hide the smirk that played on your lips, hating how easily he could make you laugh. You accepted the cigarette, watching as the trees cleared to reveal a moonlit lake.

Kylo put the charger in park, before turning in his seat to face you. “I’m sorry I've treated you the way I have this past month.” He reached up to light your cigarette for you, not breaking eye contact. He ignited his own, taking a few puffs before continuing. “I've always been so scared of not being good enough for you or living up to your family's standards… and now I've allowed my fears to hurt you. But I can assure you you're way more than just a quick fuck to me, I can't apologize enough for making you feel that way.”

You watched as Kylo reached into his back seat for something, retrieving a stack of small notes and colored paper. He smiled nervously before handing them to you.

As you flipped through them in silence, you tried to make sense of what you were looking at. In the stack were dozens of notes and cards all in his handwriting, some more recent and some that seemed to have been written by a much younger Kylo. You looked up at him, no longer able to hide the smile on your face.

“I would write them and always get way too nervous to give them to you… but I kept them anyway.” Kylo said nervously, speaking quickly. “I've liked you since we were children, Poe always-”

You cut him off with a kiss, his warm lips immediately melting into yours as he kissed back with need and desire. Kylo extinguished his cigarette in his car's ashtray before traveling his hands up to hold your face.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, allowing you both to catch your breath. Still cradling your face in his hands, Kylo looked at you with a gaze so soft, that you thought you'd melt into a puddle on the floor of his Charger.

He spoke softly. “Be my girlfriend. Say you'll be mine and my fears will be far behind me, I promise.”

You beamed at him, nodding quickly. “I'm yours.”

Kylo’s lips connected with yours once again and he kissed you feverishly. He reached down to fiddle with something before his seat extended back with a dull thump. Without ever breaking the kiss, Kylo pulled you with him to the backseat, laying you down so he was hovering above you.

You quickly fumbled with his belt, trying to blindly undo the clasp. He brushed your hands away, kissing his way down your now trembling body and stopping just above the waistband of your pants. Hooking his fingers into them, he quickly and expertly removed both your pants and underwear in one go, exposing your bare cunt to the cool air of his car. You watched as he threw your clothes somewhere into the dark void that was the front seat.

You whined, pushing your thighs together for warmth and friction, which Kylo promptly used his strong hands to open again. “Not so fast, my little star. I wanna take my time with you tonight.” He smirked up at you.

Half-kneeling on the floorboard of the car, Kylo peppered kisses up and down your inner thigh, causing you to shiver in his grasp. After what felt like eons of teasing, he finally placed a kiss just below your pubic bone before licking a stripe up your slit.

You moaned, tangling your fingers into his long, dark locks as he began to feast on you. Your body felt full of electricity as if you were going to spark and short circuit at any moment.

He was unrelenting with his tongue, and you felt yourself nearing your climax. “Kylo!” You whined desperately.

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” He mumbled against you, not faltering once in his attack on your now very sensitive clit.

“You’re g-gonna make me cum already, stop.” You breathed out.

You could feel him smirk against your heat. “That's fine. Go ahead, cum for me.” He hummed.

Your head felt light and your body electric as you came, your vision blurring as you rode your high on his tongue. You only noticed he had stopped when you came to and saw him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his dark hair messy and pupils blown with lust.

“You taste so fucking good.” He breathed as he undid his belt, “I can't believe I waited a month to do that.”

Laughing weakly, your head still fuzzy from your high, you admired him as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his pale chest littered with beauty marks. He looked so angelic the way the moon behind him cast his frame in an almost halo-like glow. You watched as he freed his erect cock from the tight confines of his jeans.

Kylo kissed you as he lined himself up with your entrance, pausing momentarily to hold the side of your face in his hand and smile at you with adoration. “I wish you could see how pretty you look right now… How pretty you always look.”

You whined, still unable to form a coherent sentence and wrapping your arms around his broad frame. You felt him push his cock inside you slowly, and he watched as your eyes rolled back into your skull in pleasure.

You moaned into the crook of his neck as he began to move, thrusting into you gently. His hand traveled up your shirt to cup your breast while he used the other to keep the back of your head from hitting the door handle.

Kylo’s pace quickened, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside you with every thrust. “You’re gonna m-make me cum again, you f-feel too good.” You breathed.

“I’m not gonna stop you, baby. Cum on my cock as many times as you need.” He smiled down at you, slightly out of breath as he neared his own climax.

You came undone beneath him for the second time that night, loudly moaning his name and whatever expletives your brain thought of first, not having to worry about the possibility of waking your entire family as you both bathed in the moonlight that slipped through the now foggy windows of Kylo’s Charger.

“Hm- Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Kylo moaned into your ear.

“Please cum in m-me. I love you.” You whined. Your mind was so foggy from cumming twice that you had lost your inhibition completely and it took you a moment to realize what you just said to him.

You didn’t have much time, however, to worry about it for too long as Kylo let out a moan you had never heard from him before, a sound of need and desperation. “Fuck- Fuck! I love you too.” He came to a halt deep inside you, before filling you with his cum.

He breathed heavily on top of you, staring down at you with shock and adoration. “I love you too.” He repeated, completely out of breath. When he pulled out, you felt his cum drip down your thigh as he quickly retrieved his shirt from the darkness of the floorboard to clean you up.

Kylo peppered kisses up and down your body before pulling you into his lap to hold you in his arms, and you watched as he lazily drew a heart in the condensation that had collected on the window. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, thinking only of how comfortable you felt in his presence.

You didn’t get home until 4 am and slept through most of the morning. You awoke to your father yelling at you from downstairs saying something about how there was somebody there to see you. Confused and still tired, you wiped the sleep out of your eyes as you made your way to the stairs.

You stopped in your tracks at the top of the steps. Kylo standing in your foyer waiting for you was the last thing you expected. He had cleaned up nicely, trading his usual rotation of black band tees for a nice, dark button-up, and in his hands he held a bouquet of pink lilies. He smiled nervously up at you.

“Hi?” You beamed at him, laughing slightly.

“Hi,” Kylo smirked, looking down the hall towards the kitchen, where your dad had disappeared to, before continuing in a lower tone only you could hear. “I thought I’d try the front door this time.”

#kylo ren #ben solo #star wars x reader #star wars #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x reader #kylo ren fanfic #ben solo fanfic #star wars fanfic #star wars sequel trilogy #the last jedi #the force awakens #the rise of skywalker #modern!kylo au #modern!badboy!kylo makes me rabid #crucifiedfaerie #saint writes !#adam driver

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crucifiedfaerie · 1 year ago

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Gibson Girl | Pt. 1 ༉₊˚✧

Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader

➴ Summary: After a run in with the Supreme Leader, he can't seem to get you out of his head- or leave you alone.

➴ Song: Gibson Girl - Ethel Cain

➴ Part Two | Part Three

➴ Word Count: 3.4k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, kinda slowburn ??, kylo is kinda really manipulative, stalker!kylo, um he's right behind me isn't he?, the mask STAYS ON, how does he not get hot in there ??, mean!kylo to soft!kylo, alcohol plus unbalanced power dynamic so dubcon, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, fingering, hitting, slight sadist!kylo, degrading, scratching, a teeny tiny bit of blood- nothing serious), fluff if you squint, angst if you squint harder, typos and me being illiterate probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear )

A/N: i haven't written a fic in a good four years so apologies if my writing is a little rusty. my partner and i have been watching the starwars movies and the kylo ren brainrot is so real. i need him expeditiously !! i've also been reobsessed with ethel cain recently and gibson girl is sooo kylo coded so i was inspired to write. i really hope you like it, if the response to this is good i might consider making a part two possibly ?? i do have a few other fic ideas for kylo/ben that are stirring around in my brain sooo im excited to share those eventually

It seems as though you've seen the Supreme Leader around more times in the past two weeks than you ever had in the two years you've been working as a technician on the Finalizer. Like a shadow clad in metal and black leather, he seemed to follow you.

It started two weeks ago with an honest mistake. You had woken up late that morning. Rushing out of your chambers and down the hall, you turned the corner a little too quickly, fearing youd be late to work.

When you crashed into him, you thought you had run into durasteel, the way he didn't move an inch. You, however, bounced backwards, hitting the ground and sending the toolbox in your hands flying.

It wasn't until the air that was knocked from your lungs had returned that you realized this dark mass was not made of durasteel. Sitting on the floor, your eyes trailed from the boots in front of you up to the dark expressionless mask you knew only belonged to the most feared man in the galaxy. Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

At this realization you scrambled to your feet, picking up your tools as you went and fervently apologizing. You did want to keep your head attached to your shoulders, after all.

"Supreme Leader- I- my apologies sir! I didn't see you th-"

Your string of incoherent apologies was cut short by him wordlessly lifting a gloved hand to silence you. With wide eyes you stared at him as he lowered his hand, bending down to pick up the wrench you had dropped on his boot in the commotion.

He placed it in the toolbox that shook as you tightly grasped it. As he pulled away the leather of his glove brushed against your bare hand, sending a chill down your spine.

He stood there, staring down at you. Past the near-blinding glint of the cold hallway lights bouncing off the dark metal of his mask, you could see your own mortified expression in the reflection of his visor. Your gaze flickered down to the hilt of the saber he kept on his hip and you winced at the mental image of that crimson colored plasma beam he could send shooting through your abdomen at any moment.

Oh gods, im done for. Any second now.

You were pulled from the morbid thoughts of your impending demise by his deep, modulated voice.

"Do not be late." He said sternly, not a speck of emotion behind his words.

You nodded quickly, "Yes Supreme Leader, I- thank you sir!"

You ran down the hall and as you turned the corner, for a split second you saw he had turned to face your direction. Despite that cold mask, you could feel his eyes on you, burning holes through it.

In the days that followed, he began to frequently make small appearances in your life and that feeling of a pair of mystery eyes on you became a familiar sensation. Whether you were eating in the cafeteria, working through a tangle of wires behind a control panel, or simply walking down a hallway, you'd feel your stomach drop. When you looked around there he would be, a creature in a mask, staring you down from afar. After averting your gaze, pretending you didn't notice him, he would continue on and disappear into the darkness of the Finalizer.

To say you were scared of him was an understatement. Was this just an elaborate plan to kill you for dropping your wrench on his foot last week? It couldn't be. If he wanted you dead he would have sliced you in half in the hallway, gods know he's done it to people before.

Fear wasnt the only thing he made you feel. As you knelt on the floor, trying to run a diagnostic test on the navigational software, your mind wandered to who could possibly be underneath that expressionless mask and modulated voice. Was he really the terrifying creature everyone rumored him to be? Or was there a real human under there? A human man with pretty eyes and rough hands from years of training. You let your mind wander to how they would feel in your-

Your thought was cut short by the hairs on the back of your neck standing straight up.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

When you turned around he was so close you jumped and dropped your datapad on the floor. The cracking noise made your heart sink. He was standing right behind you, looming over your small frame that was crouched on the ground. He stared down at you, his masked head tilted as if he were pondering something.

"Supreme Leader. W-what do I owe this pleasure?" You managed to choke out.

Kylo reached out a hand to you, and you obliged, your trembling hand dwarfed by his own. The stiff leather of his glove gripped you tightly, lifting you up to stand in front of him.

The modulator in his mask crackled as he spoke "No need to be so terrified, little star." He chuckled a bit but his usual sternness was still present. "I've only come to ask for you to join me in my quarters tonight..." He paused, "you intrigue me."

Your brain went foggy at the sweet nickname he gave you and it felt as though you might pass out at the thought of being invited to his room. Never had you seen Kylo Ren be so kind to anyone, so why you? Your face flushed with pink as you tried to find the right words to say.

"Intrigue you? Sir I can assure you there's nothing intriguing about me, I'm just a techn-"

"Nonsense." He leaned down to get eye level with you, his helmet inches from your face. "I expect you to be there tonight after lights out. When I want something I do not take no for an answer... and I always take what I want." His voice was dead serious but you could almost hear the smirk that was under his visor.

He released your hand from his tight grip and took a step back from you. With a swift turn, he walked down the hall, not giving you a chance to respond. You stood there stunned for a moment then sank down the durasteel wall, reeling from what just happened.

Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, wanted you in his quarters. Tonight. After lights out.

Later that night, as you were getting ready, you felt like you weren't even in your own body. When you looked at the clock and saw it was 10 minutes until lights out you thought you might throw up from nervousness.

What do you even wear to see the Supreme Leader in his quarters at midnight? Oh gods I'm gonna pass out.

When you were finally satisfied with how you looked, you took a deep breath and exited your chambers. The cold quiet of the flagship's hallways sent a shiver down your spine.

What am I doing? Why would he invite me here? I should just turn around and go back to my quarters.

Your legs felt like Andorian jelly as they moved you down the dark, secluded hallway towards the front of the Finalizer. You ask yourself so many questions as you attempt to suppress every nerve in your body. He was terrifying, but there was something alluring about him, something so... attractive. Something that made you feel like a small insect being lured into a spiders web. And you liked it?

Once you reached the end of the hallway, you realize it's a dead end. The tall, dark double doors enlaid with silver told you this was probably his door.

Do I knock?

Before you could even finish your thought, they opened, seemingly on their own.

The familiar crackle of his modified voice called out to you sternly, "Come in."

You obliged, taking a deep breath before you stepped into his quarters. The room was dimly lit, illuminated only by the warmth of the fireplace. As you looked around, his space was about what you expected it to be, minimalistic and decorated in hues of red and black, but grand enough for a Supreme Leader.

And there he was, sitting in a red lounge chair in front of the fireplace. You saw him pick something up off the coffee table before he stood and approached you.

"I can sense your nervousness, little star. Take this and come with me." Kylo handed you a glass of whiskey before taking your other hand and leading you back towards the fireplace, motioning for you to sit in the chair across from his.

As you sat, holding the glass in one hand and feeling the velvet cushion beneath you with the other you realized you hadn't said a word to him yet.

"Supreme Leader sir, its an honor to have been invited here by you. Your quarters are... magnificent."

He chuckled. "I'm glad you like it, but there's no need to bother with honorifics when you're here. You may call me Kylo."

"K-Kylo..." You tested out his name, unsure if he was being serious.

This has to be a dream. This cant be real. He can't be-

He nodded, speaking as he poured another glass of whiskey for himself. "I invited you here only to get to know each other. It would be rude of me to expect my guest to be so formal with me."

You felt your face get hot and you look at the floor illuminated by the fire. "Apologies if this is too forward... but how can we get to know each other if I dont even know what you look like?"

I shouldn't have said that. Surely he'll kill me for even asking. Stupid. Stupid.

He fell silent for a moment and stared at you. You internally panicked, thinking your forwardness had angered him.

You've really done it this time.

Kylo reached up and you heard a click followed by a quiet hiss emitted from his helmet. Pulling the helmet up slightly, he revealed the bottom half of his face, and oh gods was he beautiful. His dark locks fell down and brushed his jaw which looked as if it had been carved from marble, and you think you caught the beginnings of a scar lining it.

"Compromise." He flashed a dark smile before taking a sip from his glass. Kylo's unmodulated voice was smooth and deep, a sound you could find yourself getting used to hearing. You watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed the dark liquor down.

After setting his glass back on the table, Kylo lowered his helmet and clicked it back into place.

"I haven't been able to get you out of my head since our run in. You interest me so much." He mused.

You sighed shakily. "I dont mean to disappoint you s- Kylo, but there isn't much that is interesting about me or my life. Especially here on the Finalizer, most of my days tend to be the same."

You had taken only a few sips of your drink but your head was already getting foggy.

He ignored what you said, seemingly more eager to tell you something he's been wanting to say for two weeks now. "Your mind is what intrigues me most. I can hear them, your thoughts, and they are so loud." You could almost hear the smirk on his face.

He what.

"You what?" You choke out, your face going bright red.

No. no no no.

He chuckled darkly. "No need to be embarrassed, little star. I enjoy listening to your thoughts of me. How late at night you think about my hands groping your body. How you fantasize about being immoral in a complete stranger's lap. How right now you're thinking about me hurting you..." He paused, "I cannot lie to you, my thoughts have been plagued with yours for weeks now. Thats why I invited you here, so I could show you everything you wish you had."

You tried to speak, but couldn't find the words. Your face was flushed with pink and the whiskey was starting to take its toll on your thinking skills.

He stood from his chair and stepped towards you, taking the glass from your hand and setting it down on the table next to his. Towering over you, he leant down closer to you. His gloved hand lightly trailed down your face and snaked it's way behind your neck, his fingers weaving through your hair. He tightened his grasp and pulled down, forcing you to look up at him.

"Tell me, sweet thing. Are you scared of me right now?" He already knew the answer but wanted to hear it.

You nodded, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Y-yes Kylo."

"Good." He said coldly. The tone of his voice changed, as if his sweetness earlier was simply a ruse to lure you in. He pulled you up by your hair to stand, and in one swift motion he had you thrown over his shoulder.

He carried you away down a dark hallway, the light from the fireplace growing dimmer and more distant as he took you deeper into his quarters.

Like a little insect caught in a spider's web.

Once he entered his room, Kylo threw you on his bed carelessly, nearly knocking the air from your lungs.

He immediately went to work on your clothes, pulling your shirt and pants off, almost ripping them in the process. You were left only in your underwear, writhing from the heat growing in your core.

Kylo admired your body, running his cold, leather clad hands along your thighs roughly, spreading your legs. He had been waiting for weeks to do this. The seam of his glove brushed across your clothed clit, causing you to let out a whine.

"Such a pretty voice... I want to hear more of it." He said sternly before pulling your underwear to the side and running two gloved fingers down your folds, coating them in your slick. You gasped at the contact.

Without warning Kylo pushed his fingers inside your entrance, curling his fingers upwards causing your back to arch. As he pumped his fingers into your cunt, he went to work on your clit with his thumb. His other hand snaked its way up your body, stopping once it was wrapped tightly around your neck.

Waves of pleasure washed over you as he stretched you out with his fingers. You felt your climax quickly approaching "Please- sir. Please m'gonna-"

He pulled his hand away and you groaned at how empty you now felt. You rubbed your legs together to get a little bit of friction, but were halted by the sharp sting of his hand coming down on your thigh. You let out a loud yelp.

"Needy little slut." He raised one hand and an invisible force spread your legs fully and froze your entire body in place, while his other hand worked to undo his belt. "You don't get to cum until I say you can, understand?"

You only whined in response. He slapped you hard and grabbed your face forcefully, leaning down closer to you, his visor millimeters from your face. "Say it. say it!"

"Mhmm yes sir I understand!" You whined loudly. Your face stung and you could taste copper.

He let go of your face and finished freeing his cock. You nearly pass out from the sight of it.

Oh gods help me, how is that supposed to fit?

He chuckled at your thought as he lined himself up at your entrance "Don't worry little star, we'll make it fit." He said evilly before pushing inside, watching you as your face contorted from the pain and pleasure of his cock splitting you open.

You nearly scream, letting out a choked whine as he bottomed out, pressing forcefully on that bundle of nerves deep inside you. You tried to adjust to his size but without any warning he withdrew himself before slamming back into you again.

His thrusts were erratic, unrelenting on that sensitive spot, hitting it with every snap of his hips.

"F-fuck... Kylo- you're gonna make m-me cum." You whined, feeling tears prick your eyes as you were reaching your breaking point.

He reached up and grabbed your throat, squeezing, which made your head feel lighter. "Shut the fuck up and hold it." He said coldly. It sounded like a whisper coming from the modulator of his mask.

He pounded into you with such power, and it sent shockwaves rippling through your body. You screamed as he thrusted into you, showing not a speck of mercy on your much smaller frame.

Kylo felt your walls twitching around him. "You wanna cum so bad don't you?" He cooed, feigning sympathy for you.

You nodded your head desperately.

"Beg for it then. Beg to cum on my cock and I might just let you." He growled.

"P-Please-" You whimpered, on the verge of tears.

"I said beg!" Kylo struck the side of your face again, harder this time.

"Please! Please let me cum Kylo!" You cried.

He let out a satisfied groan, gripping your hair and tugging to make you look up more. "Go ahead then, little star. Cum for me." You could hear the smirk behind his mask.

An invisible hand went to work on your clit as he continued to ram into you with unrelenting speed. This sent you over the edge, the tight feeling in your abdomen burst as a wave of euphoria washed over your body. You dug your nails into Kylo's back. Despite him being clothed, you know you did it hard enough to draw blood. You heard him wince but the raw pleasure he was inflicting on your body was too much for you to care about that.

He's cold blooded so it takes more time to bleed.

His thrusts became sloppy and harder as he neared his own release. He had come completely undone, his emotionless façade gone as he whispered sweet nothings and strings of curse words through his mask.

"Fuck-" He said your name, lingering on it, drawing it out in a sickly sweet way. "Gods- your body- its so- I'm in love with it. Fuck."

A few thrusts later, Kylo buried himself inside you to the hilt one last time, bottoming out and groaning as he pumped your cunt full of his cum.

You felt his cock twitch inside you as he looked down at you, hands pressed into the bed on either side of your head and breathing heavily through his modulator.

Kylo pulled out as he stood up and you felt his cum leak out of you and down your thigh onto the bed. You watched as he tucked himself back into his trousers and redo his belt. He went into the refresher attached to his bedroom to retrieve a towel and you felt the bed dip when he returned.

He wiped his cum away gently with the towel and you yelped from the sudden overstimulation.

"Shhh" he cooed, still stern. "I'm only trying to help." Kylo threw the towel to the floor and sat on the bed, back leaning against the headboard. He pulled you closer to him so your head rested in his lap. You watched as he pulled his gloves off for the first time and you took a mental note of how strong his hands looked.

He ran his long fingers through your hair and you sighed, closing your eyes. "I could get used to this." You said sleepily.

The last thing you heard before you succumbed to sleep was, "Me too, little star." Even through the crackle of his modulator, it almost sounded like he was deep in thought.

When you awoke in his bed the next morning, Kylo was gone. As you rolled to the side of the bed, you could still smell him on his bedsheets.

On the bed next to you was a black box wrapped in red ribbon, with a note attached. You opened it and inside was a new datapad, with a fresh, uncracked screen. The note read: "Little star, apologies for the broken datapad. I expect you'll be here when I return later. -K.R."

You smiled as you sunk your head back into his pillows.

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