Joel Miller x f!reader
Rating: E (age gap)
Summary: Best friends with younger one, you’ve known the Miller brothers since forever — you’ve wanted the older one for just as long.
a/n: it’s been a while! I’ve been writing over on Ao3, but thought I would pop in and say hi and happy summer ❤️ enjoy!
—
Glancing at the clock on the wall, you wonder how much longer you need to stay before it’s appropriate to leave.
You can’t even remember the name of the person who's talking at you – someone who said they took calc with you or something, back in high school. Brian, maybe? Ben? Picking at the label on the bottle in your hand, you tip the last swallow of warm beer into your mouth, grimacing at the taste.
“Gimme a second,” you interrupt him. “I’ll be right back.”
Not a fuckin’ chance , you think to yourself.
Navigating through the crowd of people packed into the Miller’s living room, you make your way towards the kitchen. Needing another beer to get through it all, you head straight for the fridge – only to see someone already there, their broad back facing you. When they straighten and shut the door, you reach out and pluck the beer from their hand.
“Thanks for the beer, Miller.”
Joel huffs, grabbing another one from the fridge. Turning to face you, he leans his hip against the counter.
“You even old enough to drink?” Twisting the cap off, he takes a long, slow drink, his throat working with the motion.
You roll your eyes, and his eyes drift down your body and back up again.
Playing it cool, you clink your bottle against his.
“Cheers, old man.”
His eyes narrow, and he waits a beat before tipping the bottle against his lips.
His face has been a fixture in your life for as long as you’ve known Tommy – a kid you met back in elementary school. Tommy was a few years older than you, Joel even older than him. The fact that you were younger never bothered Tommy – you were just as daring as any boy his age, and he was more fun than any girl your own. A fixture by his side more often than not, you’d stuck together through middle school and then high school, through boyfriends and girlfriends, through Tommy’s enlistment after senior year.
The entire time, Joel was there.
In the beginning, you never paid him any attention. Busy working since he could, you barely saw him. The couple times you did see him at parties, it was only as Tommy’s ride, or showing up when Tommy got in trouble with his mouth. Like he never had any patience for parties or stuff like that; an aged man since forever. Even at their house, Joel had been…around, but he never stuck around for long. Always drifting away to go hang out in the garage, or in his room.
It was during high school when you started looking at him differently. Started paying attention to him in a way you never did before. Starting noticing things like he never had a girl around – or at least one that stuck , though you knew he knew his way around them, because you saw him in town sometimes.
Walking out of a liquor store with a brown bag, a girl sitting in the passenger seat of his truck.
Pulling open the door of the bar, his hand on the small of another girl’s back.
Once, you saw him at the movie theater you worked at senior year. You still remember the heat that flooded your face when he strolled up to the ticket booth where you were standing, the broad smile he had on his face for his date, one that turned your insides warm. His arm was looped around her back, his hand resting on her ass with casual confidence.
You’d never been so jealous of someone in your life.
You left him behind (not that he ever knew it) when you went away to college. A visit back home after your first year timed with a visit home from Tommy, Joel is right where you left him, still on the fringes. Only at the party to keep an eye on things, to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand, still keeping to himself. He’s been upstairs all night, only coming down every so often for another beer.
The mystery of how he spent his time used to consume you back in your school-kid crush days…and it comes back full force, when he leaves you in the kitchen to go back up to his room.
Leaving the noise of the party behind you, you climb the worn carpeted stairs. The second floor of their house is off limits to party guests, but you also know that doesn’t apply to you. Having been to this house more times than you can count, you know right where Joel’s bedroom is. You’ve never been in it though, which is part of the pull that drives you towards it – along with a slice of light that breaks through where he’s left the door cracked.
You nudge it open with your knuckle, to find him sitting inside.
At a desk chair, his legs spread wide in his slouch. A beer rests in his hand, the other one holding a book and at your presence, he puts the book face down in his lap.
He frowns. “Everything okay down there?”
“Yea. Just thought I’d come up and say hi. See what you’re doing.”
“Said hi in the kitchen,” he teases. He lifts the book with one hand. “And I was readin’.”
Used to his gruff sarcasm, you ignore it. “Any good?”
His eyes follow you as you walk further into the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed.
“Not really,” he answers. “Just waitin’ for everyone to leave.”
You know that’s not going to happen any time soon; another large group of people had walked in just as you made your way upstairs.
A golden hue washes over everything, a single lamp burning on the desk, the colors of everything else dulled in the dim light. Shadows pool in the corners of the room, but he is lit, though only parts of him: the chestnut ends of his curls, his tanned skin, the stretch of his jeans across his thighs. The bed you sit on has a rumpled comforter, clearly having been slept in.
Arousal pools low and heady between your hips.
Has he ever brought another girl up here? Has he fucked anyone in this bed?
You imagine it briefly: his flushed cheeks, his heavy breathing, his muscles shifting under his skin. Your hand trembles, and you grip your beer tighter.
“Already sick of bein’ downstairs?” he asks.
You thumb at the condensation gathered on the bottle, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. “Yea. Sort of. It’s always a little awkward when you come back, you know?”
He shakes his head. “Not really. Never been anywhere but here.”
Your shoulders slump, and you let out a sigh. “Right. But you know what I mean.”
Suddenly, the weight of exhaustion pulls at you: the smiles you had to force downstairs, the names you tried to recall, the crush of people and the fake enthusiasm. You came here for Tommy, and you’ve barely seen him tonight. Forgetting for a second that you’re not in Tommy’s bedroom, you relax and let yourself fall backwards on Joel’s bed. The second you do it, you freeze – but don’t correct it.
You’re in Joel Miller’s bed. Lying down.
You feel the hem of your shirt ride up, but don’t fix it. The sheets smell like him, and you hear him huff.
You also feel the weight of his eyes on you.
–
He should be more annoyed that you’re in his bedroom, but he can’t take his eyes off your legs: a mile long in your cutoffs, the slight peek at the curve of your ass in their ride high. The slice of soft skin he can see, between your waistband and your shirt.
He watches you roll over and prop your head up on your hand, not liking at all how good you look in his bed.
He’s been watching you since you came back. Watched you even before that, though he’d never admit it. Walking around their backyard in a tiny bikini when you lounge with Tommy by the pool, looking gorgeous as hell all windblown and carefree sitting in the passenger seat of Tommy’s truck, looking so fucking innocent and beautiful swamped in one of Tommy’s sweaters by the bonfires he’s been having at night since he came back.
The sight of your ass in those shorts as you walk around their house has been imprinted on his mind all week.
He sits up, clearing his throat. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he lets his head hang down between his shoulders. If he can avoid looking at you, maybe his cock will stop hardening with interest.
“I think you better get back downstairs.”
“I just wanna catch up,” you reply innocently, looking anything but.
He looks up, giving you a knowing look in reprimand. “That ain’t all you wanna do.”
He doesn’t know what compelled him to say that to you , but he does know it to be true. He’s seen the look on your face on plenty of women before – women . You’re a girl . One he’s known since forever. One he never thought about until he did, and one he tried not to think about once he started.
One who is way too fucking young for the things he’s thought about doing to you.
“No?” you ask. “Why don’t you tell me what you think I wanna do?”
He shakes his head instead.
The edges of your mouth curl up in a soft, teasing smile. “Joel Miller, a secret prude.”
His head snaps up, “I ain’t no prude, honey, you’re just –”
“Honey?” Your eyebrows lift, your eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’m just what?”
“ Young. Too young.”
“I’m twenty.”
He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes and you cave.
“Almost. In a few months.”
He huffs in disgust, dropping his head back down. “Jesus Christ. A baby.”
He feels you study him for a moment.
“I missed you while I was gone, you know.”
The confession surprises him, and he looks up to find your face completely sober, truthful.
“Did you miss me?” you ask quietly.
The vulnerability on your face pulls at him, and even though he knows what will happen if he gets on that bed, he wants to. If only to tuck you against his chest and reassure you that he did. He really did. He knows you think he never noticed you, but that’s only because he made you feel that way. He couldn’t notice you, for both your sakes.
“Just come…sit with me, okay?” you ask. “I’m not gonna bite.”
He doesn’t move for a moment, keeping his eyes on the floor. He feels you wait with bated breath, knowing full well that he should stand up and walk you out of his bedroom…but he can’t bring himself to leave you hanging like that.
Instead, he stands, and walks over to the bed.
Your face flashes with surprise that you try to hide, and he smirks.
There is a look on your face he’s seen a million times — a bolstering sort of lift to your chin, the look of a tough girl that would follow his brother anywhere. A girl who never backed down, even when he could tell she was nervous.
A girl he knows he shouldn’t want, but does anyway.
He tests the waters, crawling onto his bed. Stretching out next to you, he sprawls across the mattress, his broad form partially covering yours in shadow. He can feel the heat gather between your bodies. You look even younger close up, and he leans closer, unable to stop himself from pushing to see how far you’ll go.
He recognizes that same determined look on your face now, only this one is slightly different. This one is laced with lust, and want. So much fucking want it makes him ache.
“Okay, big girl,” he drawls. “Now what?”
–
It’s his turn to be surprised when you lean in and press your mouth to his.
You can tell because he momentarily freezes when your lips meet, his stubble brushing against your skin, your lips fitting neatly along the seam of his own. You kiss him again, this time opening your mouth just enough to let him in and he takes your invitation, the taste of beer thick on his tongue when he slides it against yours. His hand comes up, cradling the curve of your jaw as you tilt your head to the side to deepen the kiss and a soft sound that catches in the back of your throat has his fingers flexing, pulling you closer.
The sheets rustle beneath you when he takes over, his hold guiding you beneath him on the bed. He kisses you harder, longer, a deep groan rumbling from his chest, the light of the room blocked out behind him. His solid body weighs heavy on top of you, his denim clad hips pushing between your thighs with a grind and you open your legs wider, his hand sliding up the outside of your leg to hitch your knee around his hip.
It’s sensory overload after wanting him for so long. You’ve daydreamed about this a million times, imagined it happening a million different ways, but you never thought it would be anything like this. Lost in the weighted haze of lust, drunk on the way he feels against you, head swimming with arousal, the crotch of your panties already so fucking wet that they slide over your achingly empty core with every rock of his hips into yours. Meeting the rolling grind of his hips with your own, you feel the weight of his cock press against you, his calloused hand covering your breast with a squeeze. His hips rock forward again, the grinding promise of what he’s capable of against the damp seam of your shorts and you are just about to beg him for more when he pulls back, standing.
In one long stride, he shoves the door shut and locks it.
Tugging his shirt off with a one handed grip over his head, you take in the sight of his broad, solid chest and the dusting of hair that scatters sparsely just under his collarbones. It’s thicker along his sternum, even thicker still just under his navel, where it leads into the waistband of his jeans. He looks so…big, from where you lay on the bed. Older, masculine in a way you’ve never seen on a boy your age. Your eyes run the length of his body and back up again, the outline of his thick cock pushing against the fly of his jeans making your cunt flutter.
He opens the drawer next to his bed, tossing a condom down and there is something so arousing about the matter of fact action, the implied sight of it just sitting there, waiting for him. Black, with gold letters. When his hands drop to work open his belt buckle with single minded intent, you reach down to slide your shorts off.
“Don’t.”
Your hands pause.
“I wanna do that.”
You don’t even know what to say in response before he’s bending to grab you behind your knees, hauling you to the edge of the bed. Your shirt rides up your back, and sit up enough to tear it over your head, your bra following shortly after as his greedy eyes track every movement. His thick fingers pop open the button on your shorts, hooking under the fabric and he drags them down and off, bringing your panties along with them.
Then he stands there, his hands on your knees. He pushes them apart, and you try not to squirm as he spreads you for him.
“Goddamn.” The word pours out of his mouth, saturated with awe, low with lust.
Your thighs flinch, your knees trying to pull together to hide yourself from the heat of his gaze, but he keeps a firm grasp on them, holding you open.
“Don’t try to hide it from me now, honey.”
His eyes drop from your face to the gleaming spread of your cunt. He reaches down, his thumb brushing over your opening, and it’s so fucking filthy the way he drags it through the mess you’ve made for him.
“Especially not when it’s this pretty,” he murmurs.
He drops to his knees, your breath hitching when he tugs you closer to his mouth and guiding your legs over his bare shoulders, his mouth immediately seeks you out.
“ Fuck .”
The word slides into a moan when your body bows off the bed to chase the slick heat of his tongue. It smears wetness over everything, dipping inside you to drag upwards to your clit and then he’s fitting the bottom half of his face along your cunt with a messy, open mouthed kiss.
He devours you there the same way he devoured your mouth earlier, and the sensation is simultaneously too much but not enough, your hands finding purchase in his sheets. You fist them, twisting them in your grip as you start to rock your hips and you have never - never - had this done to you before, a tremble pouring sweet and thick down your spine to pool right under his mouth.
His hands keep your thighs forced open, his shoulders spreading you wider and when his tongue starts to swirl firm, tight circles over your clit, it drags a hoarse moan out of your throat.
Too consumed to care if you’re being too loud, every thought leaves your head when two thick fingers stroke delicately along the dip of your opening, before sliding inside you with a filling stretch just as he starts to suck . His whiskered cheeks hollow with it, your words breathless and pleading. A stretch just to take his fingers , you close your eyes and feel your stomach drop when you think about taking his cock.
The thought alone sends you flying over the edge.
When it happens, he groans into you just as loud as if he’s the one who’s come, and a second wave washes hot over your limbs when you peek down to see the upper half of his face between your spread thighs. His brows pinched together, his eyes closed tight, his white knuckled hold on your thighs.
The music turns up louder downstairs, a shout of a crowd greeting new arrivals – but it’s lost in the intimacy of the bedroom. His satisfied low groans, your trembling thighs, his damp beard against your skin.
Pulling back, he wipes your slick from his face with his hand – and then gives your cunt a sharp, flat swat.
The action shocks you, your eyes widening and the grin on his face is charmingly boyish. Or would be, if he didn’t follow it with a filthy suck of the fingers that were just inside you. He stands, shucking his jeans and briefs off in one movement, and puts a knee on the bed between your legs, reaching for the condom. His large hands rip it open, and though you can feel his gaze rest heavily on you as he puts it on, your eyes are fixed firmly on his cock.
It’s – big. Much bigger than you’ve ever seen, a grown man’s dick. He fists it lazily for a moment, the weight of it evident in his grip and when he places the condom over the tip and rolls it down to the base, you openly stare. The translucent rubber fits snug and tight, down to the thatch of hair at the base of his cock.
When you finally drag your eyes up to his face, he looks smug.
“Don’t worry, darlin’. It’ll fit.”
The amount of times you’ve thought about this moment is nothing compared to the real thing. The man standing in front of you has always been off limits, a complete mystery to you all these years, even as the subject of most of your debased fantasies. The realness of him — the solid width of his frame, the flush to his skin, the amount of bare, firm skin on display. You swallow hard, a bundle of nervous anticipation even though he just fucked you with his mouth.
He settles his body on top of you, caging you underneath him and the press of his hot skin has all of your nerves scattering, evaporating into need .
His mouth rests right next to your ear, a kiss brushed against the divot below it.
“We’ll make it,” he whispers.
If you thought his fingers were a snug fit, it’s nothingcompared to how full you feel as he slides in. The stretch almost to the point of pain save for how wet he got you beforehand, it still steals the air from your lungs as he pushes inside. You squirm underneath him, shifting to accommodate every single inch and his hand curls around your waist, his hips pushing forward with a final, hard thrust.
His mouth brushes tenderly along your clenched jaw, letting you get used to it before his hips find a rolling rhythm. Every downstroke shoving you up underneath his hold, you hold on tight, hitching your knees up along his ribs and your feet slide over his tailbone, a whine crawling out of your outstretched throat.
“This little pussy is so tight ,” he groans, his hot breath gusting over your skin. “So fucking tight.”
His hand shoves itself under your tailbone, angling your hips to take him deeper and his own groan sounds deep over your softer, higher one.
“Do you have any idea how much I thought about fuckin’ you? How many different ways I’ve wanted to?”
Hearing him utter those words makes your chest crack open, your heart thundering underneath your rib cage. Everything you’ve ever wanted to hear, paired with more than you ever thought you would.
He picks up pace, his hips a relentless, heavy pound into the cradle of your own, each thrust punching the air out of you – and your fingers claw into his forearms when he sits back on his heels, pushing your knees to your chest to fuck you harder.
The bed pounds lewdly against the wall, the music from the party covering it up.
“Joel,” you whine, a tear slipping from the corner of your eye. It feels like you’re being used by him, your body a tool for his own pleasure, your pliant, moldable body being positioned just for his use. It sends you higher, thinking about him doing the same for others, right here in this bed.
You start to tense underneath him, the wave of slick, brutal pleasure pulling you under and when you come, it’s a wordless, breathless thing – your body pulling taut, your cunt squeezing him tight. He groans, dropping forward to cover your mouth with his, his hand sliding up to wrap around the nape of your neck with a grip and he forces himself deeper, his strokes urgent in their snap against you.
He rests his forehead against yours, and through the haze of your freshly fucked gaze, he recognizes the same look from before. A girl who never backs down, a girl who knows how to hold her own.
“I already want it again, Joel,” you breathe against his mouth, his heavy pants washing over your lips. “Next time, I’m gonna ride you. I’m gonna sit on your lap and you can watch me take it, okay?”
“Fuck,” he groans, his hips stuttering. They chase the slick warmth of your cunt, his eyes closing tight.
“You’re fuckin’ trouble, you know that?” he rasps, his fingers threading into the hair at your nape, fisting it with a tug. The motion tips your head back for him, a victorious grin stretching across your face.
“A pain in my ass since I met you,” he pants, letting out a deep groan. “A sweet piece of ass in my bed.”
You nod, the smile on your face melting into something pleasure soaked when he shifts the angle of his hips.
“I’m gonna come inside this little cunt, okay? And then I’m gonna do it all over again. You ready, honey?”
“God yes.”
He buries his face in the damp crook of your neck when he comes, he back rounding as his hips still in their push against yours. He’s so deep you know you’re going to feel it tomorrow – more than you’ve ever taken, a stretch you know will make you ache every time you sit down. He holds onto you so tight that you can barely breathe, and it’s a special sort of heaven to be buried underneath the bulk of his body. Your cheek pressed against his curls, your chest compressed under his. Your hips sore from being spread so wide, your cunt still snug around him.
He lifts just enough to see you, and opens his mouth – right when something crashes beneath his room.
“What the fuck , Tommy,” he grumbles, and you laugh at his instant change of expression. He slips out from inside you with a groan, his hips imperceptibly shifting forward to chase the heat between your thighs. He presses a quick, hard kiss against your lips and then he’s dragging himself from the bed, tugging the condom off and tying it in a neat knot.
Tossing it in the trash next to his bed, he grabs his jeans off the floor.
“I’m gonna go downstairs and see what the hell that was,” he says, sliding them up over his bare ass. Buttoning them, he shoots you a look. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ get dressed.”
You gesture a wordless salute, and he shakes his head, smiling.
“Smartass,” he grumbles, picking a shirt up off the floor. Sliding it over his head, he opens the door and disappears.
“Tommy!”
You hear him shout and a laugh bubbles up from your chest.
“What the fuck was that?”
Stretching out, you slide against the warm, rumpled sheets and listen to the familiar sound of their deep voices. For the first time since you’ve been back, you feel like you’re home.
Pressing your face into his pillow, you take a deep breath – and grin.
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So Long, London || My Ex is a Footballer MV1
[masterlist][my ex series masterlist][written version]
summary sometimes your childhood sweatheart doens't work out, and that leads you to your true love.
pairings ex!ben chilwell x reader, max verstappen x reader
faceclaim danielle campbell
warnings cursing, j*s mentioned, some hate
notes I love this so much I hope you guys like it too. Also this is now going to get a written version because I need to write the angst of ben x reader and how we got to max x reader
ynusername posted ------
liked by maxverstappen1 benchilwell and others
ynusername thank you to redbullracing for having me in the garage! always love visiting the paddock
load more comments
redbullracing we loved having you for the weekend! stop by soon
username1 what did you get maxplained about?
↳ ynusername huh?
↳ username1 it's when max traps people into conversations cause he can't stop explaining stuff to them
↳ ynusername ooohh lol I just asked him about sim racing
↳ username1 NOO girl got roped into simracing
username2 Ben in the likes 😭😭😭
username3 benjamin come get your girl!! She's being rizzed up by a vroom vroom man
redbullracing send us those pictures you took of max on the podium 🙏
↳ ynusername I gotchu!
maxverstappen1 loved having you!
↳ schecoperez yes yn! Visit again soon 👍
↳ ynusername if you two insist ☺️
scuderiaferrari stop by our garage again, we have the good gelato
↳ ynusername don't threaten me with a good time
username4 yn tifosi real?
↳ ynusername well I can't argue with the goat Sebastian vettel so 🤷♀️
↳ redbullracing yeah but we had him first
mercedesamgf1 yn we have another goat if you want to hang out with us
↳ username5 yn really has f1 admins fighting over her in the comment section
chelseafc don't forget your first love yn
↳ leicestercity she won't. we love and miss you yn 💙
↳ username5 no now she has football team admins here 😭
max's whatsapp messages -------
max emilian
charles, is alex going to the jeddah gp?
charles perceval
dude, he's driving
max emilian
you know that's not what i meant
charles perceval
ooooohhh
yes, she's going
max emilian
cool
can we introduce her to yn
charles perceval
is yn making her debut as a wag
max emilian
you know i hate that word
charles perceval
oop
yeah, we can introduce them
max emilian
thanks
twitter --------
ynusername posted -----
liked by charles_leclerc, schecoperez and others
ynusername not how I expected our relationship to be revealed but okay here goes nothing, everyone meet my boyfriend max
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username6 charles is not beating the lestappen allegations, why did he like this so fast?
↳ username3 especially on post just of max
username7 why yn making max kinda...?
↳ username8 i was not a max girlie but now I see it
username9 how am I f1 girlie now?? yn you've bewitched me
↳ username10 the vampire diaries to f1 pipeline
↳ username9 don't forget the pit stop at chelsea fc
username11 yn is making me a fan of sports by dating these men, stop that
redbullracing new max verstappen fan account?? ❤️ by ynusername
scuderiaferrari I guess we won't get you in the garage anytime soon?
↳ ynusername can I still get some good gelato?
↳ scuderiaferrari we guess
↳ ynusername ❤️
maxverstappen1 schatje 😒
↳ ynusername love you babe 💙❤️
username12 yn... you were supposed to get him away from the skinny jeans, not wear them as well
↳ ynusername oops! 😅
username14 clocking in to start my shift as yn's biggest defender
username13 moving on real fast
↳ username14 I know you're not saying that 18 months is fast
username15 homie hopper
↳ username14 bitch? max and ben aren't friends, they barely even know each other
carlossainzjr no mention for the race winner?
↳ landonorris or me?
↳ ynusername i mean, congrats? 😅
twitter-------
ynusername posted-----
liked by landonorris, masonmount and others
ynusername congrats charles on the Monaco win, but we come back in Canada 💪🏼
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maxverstappen1 why those pictures?
↳ ynusername cause you're my cutie pie
charles_leclerc thank you yn! see you in montreal
username21 yn feeding us max girls with the boyfriend content
masonmount missed you yn! save me a ticket at silverstone
↳ ynusername ill see what i can swing mase 😂
username22 did you see what ben said about you?
↳ username23 girl she literally talked to him, of course she knows what he said
username26 not ben and max fighting over our girl yn
↳ username14 they're not fighting, max already won
username30 cause of death? that last slide
benchilwell tough race for red bull, but good to see you yn!
↳ ynusername thanks ben
↳ username26 she used to call him benny or chilly or b, never ben 😭😭
↳ username14 tough shit, she's with max now
username27 the difference between her comment to mason and to ben, bring our family back together please
username28 congratulates charles on the win but not carlos in australia, she really is part of the lecfosi
↳ ynusername I've versed myself in the fan terms since mexico, sorry to disappoint but I'm just happy for the hometown hero
↳ charles_leclerc I'm not sneaking you anymore gelato
↳ ynusername booooo 👎🏻👎🏻
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When Five finally makes it back home with his siblings, finally makes it back to the right timeline, he finds he’s still holding his breath.
“Is it really over?” He thinks out loud.
“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” comes Luther’s response.
So they do. And everything seems…normal?
But as much as Five wants to sleep for ten days straight, he can’t help but feel on edge. He spends his time visiting each sibling, popping in for dinners or briefly making sure they haven’t felt anything out of the ordinary. One day Allison asks him if he actually wants there to be an approaching apocalypse. His eyes fall onto Claire who’s catching him up on High School Musical the Musical the Series.
“No,” he answers. “I really don’t.”
They make time for family dinners every Sunday. They still bicker and maybe swing some fists every now and then, but everyone is fast to apologize and laugh again. With room to breathe again without high stakes, the hurt finally begins to heal. They had been family before, but it slowly begins to feel like a real family.
And for the first time, they really get to know each other. For all the crap they gave Luther about the moon, they listen as he shares the misery and loneliness and betrayal he felt. Allison describes her time as a Black woman in the 60s without her voice. Literally. Viktor tells them about what it was like growing up powerless only to end the world twice. How he lost his memory and found the one he loved only to lose that too.
Klaus manifests Ben (who is still a ghost but as alive as he could get) and together they tell of their adventures growing up and the cult Klaus accidentally created. In between laughs, they also learn about Klaus’s harrowing experiences with drugs and death.
And Five? He has over 40 years of stories, and at first he doesn’t want to share any of it. His time in the Apocalypse, his time in the Commission, murdering for the sole purpose of survival in order to get back to his family—it’s not a side to him he wants his family to know about.
But at the same time for reasons he can’t explain, he does want them to know. For the first time, he wants to talk to his family, the family he worked tirelessly to save.
Little by little, he does just that. Every now and then he will start a sentence with, “Back in the Apocalypse…,” during dinner or his visits with them. Silly ones at first, like the time he had the nasty Twinkie. The time he sang all the Beatles songs he could remember and pretended he was having a concert. The time he found Umbrella Academy action figures and reenacted missions with them.
When it’s just him and another sibling, he starts sharing some of the hard stuff too.
He tells Allison how he starved during his first winter alone and hallucinated that she had helped him find food. When he woke up he found himself in a storage house full of canned goods and bawled his eyes out.
He tells Diego about the first time he killed someone. How the scariest thing was that he wasn’t shaking.
He tells Viktor how he sometimes still wonders if he deserves everything he got for messing with time in the first place. How he’s afraid that one of these days he’ll wake up and be alone again.
He tells Klaus about the time he thought about giving up and ending it all.
He tells Luther about Dolores. About how even though he knew he was crazy for talking to a mannequin, Dolores was the better part of him that salvaged his sanity.
He tells Ben (and Klaus, by default) that his biggest regret is not being there. That he tries not to think about how things might have been different if he’d stayed.
Slowly, slowly, bit by bit, the tension eases from his shoulders. He stops worrying so much about the world ending and how to keep everyone alive. Instead, he spends his time going to the park with Claire, helping Diego and Lila with the babies, having midnight food outings with Klaus, and listening to Viktor play his music.
At their weekly family dinner, Luther tells Five he has a present for him and pulls out a box of Twinkies, saying, “I know you want to try one.”
Five gives him a practiced glare and says, “I would rather swim in a pot of boiling oil.”
Before, his family might have stared at him like he grew two heads, but now they laugh and think his retort is hilarious. Luther opens the box and pulls out a bag of marshmallows instead, and Five can’t help but crack a smile.
One day they ask him what his plans are—what’s next for the oldest sibling.
Five warms his hands on a hot mug of coffee. “I’m tired of thinking about the future,” he tells them. “Right now, I just want to spend time with my family.”
That earns him plenty of “aww”s and “You’re such a softie, Five.” He waves them away and tries to duck out of their hugs, but they get him in the end. And even if he could teleport, he doesn’t want to.
He hadn’t been looking for happy, but he found it anyway.
Now cross-posted on Ao3 under the same handle!
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