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catgirlxox · 5 years ago

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Ben Is Too Good For His Own Good

Aka a "cinnamon roll", if you will. Yes, I'm writing an essay on this.

So it's nothing new that Ben has this "second chances" philosophy, but that is indicative of the possibility that he would let himself be in damaging relationships in hopes that the other person would change or improve.

There have been various instances of Ben kind of just brushing off being treated poorly. I wouldn't say that this makes him a push over or anything like that, but I never see any of these things being pointed out. They're just kind of laughed off.

Just the other day, in fact, I had someone privately DM me saying that they don't believe Ben ever had any trauma or side effects from his lifestyle, even questioning “what nightmares” I was even referring to.

On top of that, it's a very common thing in this fandom to state things like "the girls deserved better than Ben." I'll always be of the opinion that Ben is the one that deserved better, and I have plenty (logical) reasons why, but that’s besides the point.

Even though Ben is so forgiving and cooperative, giving everyone a second chance to change, it just doesn't sit right with me that we should just be okay with some of the horrible things that are being justified here. That doesn't mean you should hate these characters. I mean, Ben clearly doesn't. But it honestly says more about him than any of them.

It says a lot to me when I see Ben seeing the best in someone, even when they've done horrible things in the past or are in the midst of doing something bad to him.

One example, which I keep bringing up on this blog, is the episode "Vilgax Must Croak." Besides everything else that Vilgax had done to him in the past, in addition to throughout the episode up until this point, Ben was still shown believing that Vilgax could have tried to save him by jumping in front of Ben to shield him from a (seemingly extremely destructive) blast from Attea.

Things like this also explain why I don’t support shipping Ben with Attea, but that’s besides the point too...

Of course, even if he did save Ben by doing this, Vilgax was only manipulating the situation to make it look like he was trying to save Ben when he was really taking the chance to break himself free of the handcuffs.

But, even so, this seems to mean that Ben believes that Vilgax does have it in him to do something good. Ben was admittedly shocked by what had happened at first, but by the next scene where he turns back to human, he's got his guard down enough for Vilgax to take advantage of the situation again and shoot him in the back. Because, please realize, if Vilgax didn’t “save” him, he wouldn’t be able to shoot him in the back.

But anyway, in conclusion, as the title states, he's too good for his own good.

The next unfair circumstance which displays the same thing happens in the episode "No Honor Among Bros." I am aware that the following is uncharacteristic of Rook and had only happened because Rook was under the influence of a substance, so I want to acknowledge that, but I am mostly focusing on Ben's actions here.

Ben and Rook eventually are set up against each other in the tournament, and, besides the fact that Ben already doesn't want to fight anyone needlessly, as shown by his previous match against Malice where he was BEAT UP FOR THREE HOURS...

...he clearly holds back while fighting Rook in this match, too.

The one time he actually hits Rook with a decent shot, which knocks Rook out temporarily, not only does he immediately go check on him to make sure he's not badly hurt, but also turns back to human, leaving him somewhat more vulnerable then he would be as Upchuck.

This seems to mean that he trusted Rook wouldn't take that chance to hit him right back. And unnecessarily hard too, at that.

This knocks Ben down, making him lose the fight. The important thing to take away from this is that, regardless if he just chalked it up to Rook not being himself, he still didn't seem to hold it against him, besides just being slightly annoyed.

So, basically, he got his ass beat multiple times only because he was holding back for the other person's sake. He's too good for his own good.

Then there's also Kevin and Tetrax. Both are former "criminals", albeit for different reasons, and Ben still had it in him to befriend both of them. This is probably due to the fact that they've built trust over time, and fought evil together to protect others, including each other.

I don't like to look past the fact that Kevin, while admittedly not entirely in control of his powers at the time, has tried to kill Ben on multiple occasions. But, like I said, Ben has grown to trust him and they have each other's back, so there’s no need to really expand on those two all that much.

Then there's the sad story of Elena.

You could argue that the reason it's difficult for me to look past Elena's ��mistakes” is because she was given little to no chances to redeem herself. And perhaps there is some truth to that.

However, there has been a scene which seems to be what is considered "redeeming" - when she attempts to sacrifice herself to save Ben.

And while Ben himself seemed extremely moved by this at the time, clearly not holding any hard feelings towards what she had just done to him throughout "Revenge of the Swarm", I can't say that I feel the same.

I can't say that I feel the same because Ben's life would not even be in danger at this point if she didn't attempt to suffocate him. Should I see her as a “hero” for saving Ben from herself?

Especially when it’s evident that she had enough self control to attempt to commit suicide, but somehow not enough to not attempt to kill Ben again once she realized that her suicide attempt failed.

Ben: “Elena! They’ve been controlling you! You’ve got to fight them!”

Elena: “They’re not controlling me, they are me! And I am them!”

Another thing about her predicament that I don't understand is whether or not her choices are voluntary. The other characters say outwardly that "the chips are controlling her", while she, in response, claims that they are not controlling her and instead, that they "are her."

Elena: “They give me what I want! They fulfil my deepest desires! Even the ones I don’t know I have!”

She also claims that the chips want what she wants, and because they “are her” they give her the ability to get everything she might want. By that logic, she would want everything that had happened up until this point, which is crazy and inexcusable.

If she is the chips, implying there is no other Elena inside that is the “true” Elena, and she genuinely wants to do things like stalk Ben and attempt to kill him, then I don’t see a way to excuse or justify that.

But then, in the midst of choking Ben to death, Julie tells her that she couldn't seriously want Ben to die, which Elena responds to seemingly confused or unsure for the first time, and only states it must be what she wants, before claiming that she really did care about Ben.

I’m sure Ben would agree that she could still be redeemed at this point. He would probably still agree she could be redeemed after all that I’m about to go over as well.

And, while this is evident since he did state the following, believing, once again, that there is still good in someone who had done horrible things:

Ben: “There was enough of my friend left to save my life.”

She still came back to make the situation worse instead of taking the chance to redeem herself.

Unfortunately, unlike I suggested earlier, and instead of leaving it at that after surviving her suicide attempt and traumatizing everyone in the process, she returns in "The Perfect Girlfriend" impersonating Julie, being the cause of Gwen suffering a pretty significant injury, and, let’s not forget, attempting to kill Ben once again.

It’s even worse that she chose to do so at such a vulnerable point in Ben and Julie’s relationship, considering that they had been arguing lately, even in the beginning of that very episode. I’ve actually had someone claim that this episode proves that Ben’s idea of the “perfect” girlfriend is someone who does everything he says and may as well have no individual personality. And, because someone I think is credible enough to speak on Ben’s behalf believes that to some extent, it just shows me that it’s possible many other people in this fandom might believe the same thing.

To me, it simply seemed as if he believed that his relationship with his girlfriend was finally improving, which is a good thing. It doesn’t seem all that unreasonable for him to not question why they were suddenly getting along much more than before. Why would anyone question their relationship with their significant other going well, especially after going through a rough patch?

Regardless, after realizing the reason why this was the case, he must have also felt horrible about not noticing sooner, which sucks. He’d be seen as a jerk for questioning why his girlfriend was being so nice to him had he done so, but he’d be seen as a jerk for not noticing that it wasn’t really her all this time anyway.

I hate to keep flaming her, but Elena chose to put him in that position since the chips allow her to fulfil “all her deepest desires”, apparently. Because that's what you do to someone you "love."

While Elena's story wasn't continued past Ultimate Alien, the Ben 10: Omniverse comic "Parallel Paradox" did attempt to tie up loose ends.

Before I continue, I have to state that the comics are not technically "canon.” However they are official source material and therefore should be accurate to canon. So, for clarity, and for those who haven't read this comic, Elena here is basically presented as if she is voluntarily a criminal. She's apparently stealing tech for money, working for some other higher level bad guy, and clearly has a grudge against Ben after what had happened.

I’ll provide the relevant pages below, but Elena states that Ben was “rude” to her the last time they saw each other...when, in the moment she is reffering to, she had impersonated her way into Ben’s living room and had the nerve to get into an argument with him when she was clearly in the wrong.

But Ben himself wasn’t even being rude to her in that particular scene, either. He was trying to explain why what she was doing was wrong. He only resorted to using the Ultimatrix once Elena resorted to violence herself.

At the end of "Parallel Paradox", it's revealed that Ben feels like Elena hates him, despite all that she's done to him. Which is interesting, since it doesn't seem to me like he's done anything to her to give her a reason to hate him. Not even supposedly being “rude.” It seems like it should be the other way around, really.

I know that I wouldn't hesitate considering filing a restraining order against someone who stalked me, attacked my friends, kidnapped my significant other, lied to me, and then attempted to kill me twice.

But Ben? No, AFTER ALL THAT...he actually wants to help her and wishes she didn't hate him for no reason.

Or maybe she doesn't have a grudge against him for what he did do, but rather what he didn't do, in her view. The irony is that Ben clearly would do anything he could to help her, she just isn't accepting that help. She just wants what she wants and will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

She seems to constantly be putting the blame on everyone but herself. And the first step to changing for the better starts with changing oneself by changing old habits and actively working to do better. It's even more sad that she doesn't seem to realize just how much faith Ben does have in her, despite the horrific stuff in Ultimate Alien.

If she really loved him, she shouldn't let him down. But at this point, I don't know if that's the case anymore.

Anyway, at the end of the day, what astounds me the most is that Ben isn't mad at her. I mean, he should at least have serious trust issues by now! It really puts things into perspective and explains why there even is an alternate future where a pairing like Benkai can happen.

If someone like Kevin, who hated Ben as a kid and actively tried to kill him, can become his best friend, and if someone like Elena can also get away with causing so much unnecessary harm to Ben without so much as a displeased glance, why wouldn't he give a girl who just likes to bully and pick on him another chance?

I still don't believe he deserves that, but I fear that is it is extremely likely, even if it comes from a good place.

And because he gives everyone 764845786448578 chances.

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catgirlxox · 5 years ago

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A friend of mine highkey just fucking implied that BenKai is healthy because they "negate each other". As in Ben is the only one that can handle Kai's bitchiness and Kai's the only one that can reign in Ben's ego. Not paraphrasing. She really said that. And I was like, bitch, put it up That's Ben Tennyson abuse ma'am you're going to jail—

Oh no. No no no I hate this argument. Prepare yourself. I’m about to go off…

First of all, Ben probably has the most humble “cockiness” I’ve ever seen.

We all know those people (or at least have run into them at some point) that act as if they’re entitled to the entire world for no reason.

Ben actually has a reason to be proud of himself, but does he ask for any more than a little credit? No.

He doesn’t demand fame and fortune in return for risking his life everyday. He barely even demands respect (that he deserves)!

He called himself “adorable” once (he’s right) and everyone somehow got it into their heads that his “ego” is extremely inflated.

So much so that now they think he deserves to be stepped on - metaphorically and literally - in order to be a better character somehow. It’s just as bad as people who think that Ben has to actually lose someone close to him, like Max, in order to “really” mature.

Anyway, the reason Ben can handle her “bitchiness” is BECAUSE HE’S TOO GOOD FOR HER.

How many times has Ben had to cooperate with people he didn’t particularity like or agree with in order to reach a common goal?

How many times has Ben forgiven others and given them second chances even when they didn’t seem deserving?

He literally made peace with aliens who previously wanted to kill, not only him, but EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE. He even made friends with one who was spitting insults in his face practically half of “Alone Together.”

He’s all about saving lives. Do you people know what that entails?

What do we do with criminals?

Either one of two things: punish those whose crimes are unforgivable, or attempt to correct their mindset, outlook, and behaviour in order to reintegrate them into society.

Considering Ben’s “second chances” philosophy, which one do you think he leans towards more whenever reasonably possible?

(Ben 10: Alien Force - “War of the Worlds Part 2″)

What I’m saying is that proves it’s in character for him to be cooperative rather than begrudging and vengeful.

It’s the begrudging and vengeful attitude that drives his enemies to keep coming back in attempt to end him. But as we know, it’s not productive.

Holding a grudge implies being stuck in your ways. And, because Kai’s attitude towards Ben hasn’t changed much since they were ten, even after he saved her multiple times, in a sense, she is stuck in her ways as well. She’s stubborn.

And that is another argument people like to bring up to validate this pairing - that both Ben and Kai are stubborn. They have “similar flaws”, apparently.

But Ben is a different kind of stubborn. He never backs down but he’s always fighting the good fight.

Kai, on the other hand, is fighting the good guy.

I think the silliest argument I’ve heard in attempt to validate the claim that Kai is a good match is that she “fits” into his action lifestyle. Basically, unlike Julie, Kai doesn’t seem to have an issue with Ben being a full time superhero, so that automatically makes her more “suitable.“

But shouldn’t that be expected of someone dating a superhero?

By supporting your significant other’s passion, you are doing what you should be. It’s literally the bare minimum of being decent.

Am I supposed to be impressed by the bare minimum??

Besides, just because two people are in the same field of work doesn’t automatically mean they have chemistry. Being in the same line of work just means they’re in the same line of work.

And, going back to my point about Ben’s second chances philosophy, they definitely wouldn’t work together so well if Ben wasn’t cooperating in the way he always tries to.

The argument that they "negate” each other heavily undermines Ben’s character in order to attempt to place them on an equal level.

Did Kai ever attempt to redeem herself for her “bitchiness”? No.

It just became a character trait.

The truth is that everyone has flaws. And that’s not inherently a bad thing. A character having distinguishable flaws allows them to feel fleshed out. Flaws are a significant feature to focus on because they often stem from something deeper. The beauty is that, through character development, having flaws gives the character something to attempt to improve when their storyline and interactions with other characters provide them with chances to do so.

You could see this with Kevin’s redemption, for example. Or even what is referred to as Ben’s “ego” throughout the continuity.

But when Ben continuously gives Kai chances to be better, and she shuts him down, she ignores her own flaws.

Notice that Ben doesn’t ignore what others perceive are his flaws.

I say it like that because flaws are arguably subjective. But regardless, all those moments throughout the OS and UAF which show characters like Gwen, Kevin, Max, and even Azmuth critiquing Ben on his character actually did make an impact. Whether I think it was right or wrong is irrelevant to the fact that, by Omniverse, we had him explaining to an imaginary crowd what it actually means to be a hero.

(Ben 10: Omniverse - “Malfactor”)

“It’s about making a difference."

In front of nobody but himself, where he could have just indulged in the fantasy, he put his “ego” aside to display the integrity of his character development by that point.

If his ego was really so bad that it desperately needed to be squashed, then he wouldn’t be out here believing time and time again that everyone deserves a chance to be better.

(Ben 10: Omniverse - “Parallel Paradox”)

Perhaps it’s because he has always taken that chance himself, knows the benefit of it and wants to see others improve as well rather than being vengeful or begrudging.

Kai is a…tragic case, tbh.

The fandom likes to daydream about her “potential” and what she could have been. But truth of the matter is that the writers chose to present her this way. If they wanted to have her some other way, wouldn’t they have done that?

Whether it was to make her somewhat interesting by being a source of drama, I don’t know. All I know is that they crossed the line between dramatic and toxic very quickly, and possibly without realizing.

In conclusion, it also pisses me off is that these kinds of claims just gloss over the abuse.

It’s not something to make light of just because Ben can "handle it.” I know he can handle rough treatment. That’s what his literal job entails.

It’s not what his relationship should entail.

If anyone else reading this still doesn’t believe me, please. Go get stepped on and belittled constantly and tell me that shit is romantic. Because I’ve had my fair share of experience with mistreatment and it hurts terribly. I can’t imagine having to deal with that on top of all the selfless manual labour he already chooses to do everyday.

#sorry if it sounds like I'm yelling at you #I promise I'm not #I'm just setting the record straight #for certain clowns #u know #ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #kai green #benkai #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #anti benkai #essay files

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