#beloathed companions

[limitbreaker23]

A beloved chibi version of this commission from @rounove! I made a hobby out of collecting chibis!

*gasps* I missed out on including them in the other post, please enjoy looking at them! <3

[festivalfoxes]

currently i am a miserable keyed up anxious little hater and would like to return to being a confident normal-sized hater but i am almost totally sure this is the result of not being able to walk around and go outside. and as soon as i can do that i'll be fine. but 'as soon as i can do that' is Ten Entire Days From Now.

[bellamysgriffin]

so if im thinking what my ideal ending for amy/rory would have been i think we would have nixed the whole river is her daughter storyline for so so so so so so many reasons, but the reason she leaves is... yeah she gets pregnant and realizes she wants to raise a family with rory. OR! something more like she knows rory's still going for her but he's ready to settle down and live life one day at a time and she kind of does it for him. like another version of her choosing rory/a family with rory/family life in general over the crazy adventure life with the doctor which i think suits her arc

alternatively, i think god complex is a good ending if it had been the proper ending.

[solemntitty]

you all wish you had this

[shiawasekai]

Some good progress today in redesigning Samel's clothes. I was utterly unconvinced with my previous work. I feel the current approach, even if still a WIP, is a lot more visually interesting.

[perniciousprophet]

Does digestive tract count because if it does then HO BOY do i have a rant locked and loaded

rb for a bigger sample size!

[asterroses]

listen i had a very bad night so im gnna indulge in my little krem companion au . ok ? ok <3

[starpros-sunshine]

The best way to cure a headache. Energy drinks.

[shorthaltsjester]

though it is unfortunate that trinket’s status as a quadruped makes him an enemy to animators and thus less frequently seen in action and the like, i do think it’s deeply funny that somehow he’s been even more clearly made into vex’s pet bear and not her beast companion than he already was in the campaign (to be clear this isn’t a critique of laura at all, between og beast master ranger my beloathed paired with vex stopping her ranger levels i would’ve made the same choices as laura regarding my character’s extremely important bear son) as made evident when he just trails after her into percy’s workshop. truly so delightful. his primary role is friend, then it’s being a threat to percival de rolo specifically, acting as vox machina’s alarm clock until percy figures out how to be a clockmaker, and on the rare occasion he is allowed to bite the head off of a vampire or tear apart a fish person. as he well should be.

[ishgard]

Okay this is not going to be a very official looking post because 1. I don't have the steam for it and 2. I think the timing with Dawntrail's release would probably not be great.

But I did a while back make a "WoL-y" (pronounced like the fish "walleye" to sort of rhyme with "July") monthly prompt list. Normally I'd attempt to make a nice little graphic for it, but after trying a couple of times and feeling dissatisfied I've woefully given up :'D (If anyone feels possessed of the desire to do so, by all means feel free!)

Alternatively if you want to just pocket these for later once the DT hype has cooled a bit, go for it! OR trim a couple out and make it a countdown to DT, I'm just setting them free. So without further ado:

A Warrior of Light Month of Prompts!~

Morning Routine

Adventure

Companions

Fond Memories

Patron Deity

Origins

Specialty

Laughter

Adventurer's Guild

Favored Weapon

Discovery

Secret

Echo

Beach Episode

In Another Life…

Best Friend

Dungeon

Holiday

Habits

Darkest Hour

Victory

Crafting & Gathering

Allied Tribe

Haunting

Beloved

Beloathed

Sanctuary

Family

Bad End

Perfect Day

Bedtime Rituals

[limitbreaker23]

How to save your beloathed companion, a guide by Jiang Cheng

Do you ever think about that time when Jiang Cheng protected Lan Wangji in the temple in this exclusive cql scene? I know, I do all the time as well. Why did they add this scene, why do I not even need my shipping goggles to think about 300 scenarios that led to this climactic protection of a beloathed companion?

Jiang Cheng’s face here is the complete derailing of emotions, just shock, fear, instinct taking over. He has to yeet between the sword that comes for – Lan Wangji?

Now, the logical brain says that the sword was aimed at Wei Ying, who is the more obvious emotional focus for Jiang Cheng here. Why, then, is the sword aiming straight for Lan Wangji? Jin Guangyao, are you sitting in my Chengzhan boat, rowing with me, one paddle each, to help this ship gain steam? Thank you, A-Yao. #shipsupportedbymengyao #schemetovictory

Lan Wangji is his natural self of calm indifference and ready to break and cut off arms when the sword comes for him. He never hit it off with Jin Guangyao anyway, despite Xiongzhang asking them to have tea and guqin lessons together (totally). He saw the sword coming and will meet his sharp friend without spiritual power.

But he isn’t allowed. See that face? For Lan Wangji, this is an expression of utter shock and internal gasping. His beloathed companion saved him. How dare he. No one ever saved Hanguang-Jun before. A shipper’s brain is instantly filled with a montage of Sunshot Campaign memories of Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji dodging close calls, kicking each other out of the way of swords coming for their youthful throats, and the eyeroll and hmph shared as thanks afterwards. cql couldn't do this because their shots of Chengzhan during the Sunshot Campaign were too romantic.

Jiang Cheng gets hurt and slashed when he throws himself between sword and Lan Wangji. It might not leave another scar to gently touch and memorise this moment, but Jiang Cheng does already have one for that.

Since cql for mysterious reasons decided against prolonged hugging scenes during the temple climax, nothing stands in the way of Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji falling into each other’s arms in fanfic, turn beloathed into beloved, and make me very happy. Which would look something like this:

Jiang Cheng, slumping down, bleeding out: Ngh. Lan Wangji, scooting over to check bleeding: Hmph. And they sat there happily ever after.

For mysterious reasons, I do not have any images depicting this comforting reconciliation scene. Trapped somewhere in my brain and on the cql cutting floor.

[spinedog]

Please talk about birds and why their existence is horrifying!

For dabble prompt, Yang and Weiss making macaroni, as inspired by the recent Instagram where Barbara and Kara made macaroni.

You can request a ramble and drabble here, and see prompts I've finished and am currently working on!

Ramble - I have a lot of Emotions about birds and their relationship to mammals.

Drabble - The college AU returns: guess who has no fucking idea how to make macaroni, and who else finally got fed up with it.

Birds. Birds my beloved, birds my beloathed.

Here's the thing. Every time I research birds, for any reason, I learn something new and horrifying. I could fill a post the length of Do You Like The Color Of The Sky with the shit I know and fear about birds. Rather than go into a specific reason, let me explain the underlying reason why I find them both fascinating and disturbing.

Birds are endotherms (warmblooded), like us. They have a four-chambered heart, like us. They have complex social behaviours across multiple unrelated genera, like mammals. Many unrelated bird species use tools and can solve human puzzles. While not shared with us, birds also have paired larynx structures that let them make insanely complex noises. Between the intelligence and this ability, many species are capable of mimicking human speech - and at least one species has both scientific and anecdotal evidence of being able to use human speech to communicate. (The only mammal proven to be able to mimic verbal speech is a goddamn Grey Seal btw)

All of this is lovely until you take a step back and realize our ancestors diverged 300 million years ago. Our shared ancestral traits are a handful of internal changes, the loss of gills, keratinized skin, and fucking chest breathing. That is how goddamn little we have in common with birds ancestrally. To be clear, the first true mammal came along closer to 225 mya - but we are the only living group left from the synapsids, then therapsids, that grew Better Teeth and split off. In comparison, birds and crocodiles are the only living members from archosauria, and the arrival of birds themselves is still under a lot of debate but was probably around 150 mya.

This is the part that I find so fascinating. Go all the way back to that paragraph with all the things we share with birds. Both mammals and birds evolved all of those traits separately. And yet, despite being so far away that we may as well be alien, we've ended up on a parallel course to each other. Almost every part of our body, right down to the brain, works in a completely different way and yet the outcome is spookily similar. We can reason. We can problem-solve.

We've gotten to the point that a well-educated human and a well-educated grey parrot have stood eye to eye with each other and had a true, verbal, two-way conversation.

Seriously. Think about that. That's something we had to use sign language to do with our closest living relatives, and talking buttons to do with our longest-running domesticated companion species - and both happened in the last few decades. The first account of a 'talking parrot' was in 5th century BC.

I think that's a significant connection, on the grand cosmic scale of time and evolution. Sister groups not in blood but in destination, driven by curiosity and a miraculous set of coincidences, reach out and speak to each other in a language both are able to understand.

And I didn't even touch the fact that birds and mammals are the only two living vertebrates that developed fucking flight.

---

"I wouldn't use this in a hot pan, it's plastic."

"Oh." A pause. "Right."

Yang's voice coming from the kitchen wasn't new, but Weiss' certainly was. Blake poked out from her room, curious enough about the potential of dying in a house fire to emerge from midterm studying.

Immediately she saw Ruby, pressed up against the wall to stare down the stairs. The younger woman turned, catching sight of Blake and pressing a finger to her lips before motioning her forwards, kneeling to clear room for her. Blake slowly crept up, leaning over Ruby as they both peered around the corner.

Down the stairs, the small, messy kitchen was visible. Weiss Schnee hovered over the stove, hair pulled up in a ponytail and eyes wide with uncharacteristic worry. "Okay, I think it's all combined."

"Good, now you can pour the milk in." Yang appeared from behind the wall in their view, where she must have been standing by the fridge. "Don't do it all at once, pour in about... here. That much. Whisk it together until there's no clumps and then add the rest."

Blake turned her gaze downwards, bewildered.

"Weiss admitted she doesn't know how to cook mac and cheese." Ruby whispered. "Yang couldn't let that one go."

She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. It was probably bound to happen. Weiss hadn't had to cook for herself a day in her life, and Yang had probably been cooking for herself and Ruby since she could reach the stove. Sooner or later, there would have to be a collision. Of course, she had to feel a bit bad that no one had ever taken the time to teach Weiss any of it. But any guilt she felt was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer surrealism of the scene unfolding in the kitchen. Weiss had merely brushed off all points at her complete lack of housekeeping and cooking. And now here she was, taking lessons from the person who gave her the most shit for it.

"This all seems complicated?" The trademark Weiss sass wasn't gone entirely, even with her being miles out of her element. "Isn't mac and cheese supposed to be a really simple thing that kids can make?"

"That's Kraft dinner. This isn't much harder to make and tastes way better, so we're starting with it. Relax, ice queen, it's hard to screw it up completely."

Weiss heaved a frustrated sigh, whether it was at the nickname or the recipe wasn't clear. "Is the pasta in yet?"

"Nope, water still isn't boiling." Yang had leaned against the cupboards, clearly amused.

"They always say, to uh." Weiss looked up, blinking. "A watched- when you look- when you watch the bowl of- it never boils." She looked over, as if hoping Yang might have understood the verbal equivalent of an orchestra falling down the stairs.

Yang nodded sagely. "Exactly."

Blake pulled herself away from the corner, barely choking back laughter. Ruby's breathing devolved into chaotic inhales.

"Seriously, what is the saying?! Something about pots? And watching it?"

"No, no you nailed it. A watched when you look when you watch-"

"Yang Xiao Long I will beat you with this spatula I swear to God."

She could hear the grin in Yang's voice. "You and what ladder?"

That was the final straw for both Blake and Ruby. Ruby broke first, the laugh escaping like a water from a high pressure hose. Within moments both of them were in hysterics, Ruby on the floor and Blake leaning against the wall, fighting for air.

"Well." Blake managed to look over, and found Weiss glaring at them both from the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips. "If you two are going to have input, you may as well get downstairs and help cook."

It was a fair enough point, and the two women managed to pull themselves down the stairs and into the kitchen, still wiping tears away. Yang watched them sit down at the table, clearly fighting back a laugh of her own.

Weiss re-entered the kitchen, frowning down at the water in the pot. A split second of quiet.

Blake wasn't much of a comedian - but she knew when the timing was right. "A watched pot never boils, Weiss."

Yang broke like china, falling against the fridge with a howl of laughter. A spatula bounced off the center of Blake's forehead, and it was worth every second.

[beecreeper]

Inktober 2024 -- Day 22: Camp

Oh environmental drawing my beloathed 😔

Anyway! A doodle of Molli's campsite. We're not gonna question where she got that tent because we don't ask where all the other companions got *their* bespoke tents either. Just roll with it

[utilitycaster]

who out here sieging they weisshaupt

anyway. I understand wardens by definition go to horrible blighted places BUT every warden location SUCKS ASS. Let's do the rundown. A lot has happened.

Siege of Weisshaupt! I took Emmrich with me (Davrin is required and also makes sense) and while, again, I'm on Dumbass mode for combat, I must admit it kinda sucks that two of my healers AND rook are all most lethal with necrotic damage and darkspawn are resistant. this was perhaps a bad idea. I lived though, and I punched the warden and everyone except the academics approved, which is hilarious. Sorry Emmrich and Bellara I am NOT using my words. Also Bellara you'd feel better if you punched someone. Also bringing Emmrich IS pretty funny both because he is a very good healer/buffer and as Davrin and I are both tanks and damage dealers and my physical damage is nothing to sneeze at it's fine; and because Davrin is like IT IS MY DESTINY TO DIE IN GLORY AND DUTY and Emmrich is like the thought of dying makes me sick to my stomach and I am a necromancer.

I'll admit the sad failure family dinner and the solas convo after AND Varric all were like BY THE WAY YOU SHOULD DO COMPANION QUESTS and it was a little clunky BUT some people are stupid and I appreciate the game makes it obvious to them. also, talking to Lucanis, Davrin, and Neve was very fun for me (tragedy enjoyer). I now see why you talk with Davrin so much; he changes drastically after Weisshaupt and becomes much more interesting and you need to have that baseline.

I am slowly regaining Neve's trust! Also Neve being terrible at making coffee and Lucanis flirting with her in the form of "oh my god your coffee is the worst thing ever let me make you some" is a fucking. main quest interaction. Then I took Lucanis to Dock Town for the mission while Davrin dealt with his justified depressive episode.

The scene where Spite possesses Lucanis is missable if you don't check, and that's an oversight on Bioware's part, I must admit. Also I NEVER take the comedy mask option but I had to for the "you can't caffeinate your way out of this line" even though I as a real life person drink a quart of jet-fuel level coffee a day. Once a vending machine gave me three Celsius Essentials for the price of one and I briefly considered finding out what would happen if I drank all of them, and I'd already had coffee that day. Point being Lucanis's inclinations are relatable.

I'm back on that sweet sidequest life before The Cauldron quest, particularly the companion quests. There's like 3in Arlathan I haven't even picked up and of course I must go back to the wetlands my beloathed to see Evka (one of two good things in the wetlands, the other being Antoine). I DID do Bellara's companion quest. I love how the part 2 companion quests are like your friends are GOING THROUGH IT. Again. not subtle. but I do love justified angst. Neve literally the only person who isn't in a deep depression or anxiety spiral right now. I'm even playing Rook as feeling bad enough to admit weakness to Solas. Oh anyway Bellara's quest is great. Matt Mercer is there again, in a performance that made me go "wait is that Matt Mercer?" His delivery is incredible. Obsessed with how everyone was like MATT MERCER IS IN THIS GAME. HE'S A HISSING SKELETON. and actually he's playing two major characters.

I'll make a separate post later about this specifically, but I love the crossroads and could spend all my time there, which is why I've already fought Mythal I guess. I HAVE learned some of my lesson re: sidequesting aggressively though, and I am saving the necropolis dragon for when I'm "not only level thirty...four?" and "am better at this".

Again, my tolerance for clunky-ass dialogue in fantasy is high BUT. This game uses the word "fucking" so why do they keep saying "butt" instead of "ass." It tracks for Davrin, who is a dork, but I'm sorry and not to self insert excessively but Rook would say the word "ass" in front of Mila. there is a fucking archdemon. let the child learn the cuss words.

GOT A BLACK EMPORIUM INVITE BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYY time to FINISH MY GIFT GIVING

[orphanheirs]

Official WIP Intro Post

General Stuff:

Working title: Lambswool

Genre: dark fantasy, gothic horror, folk horror, historical fiction

Quick run down: In regency England, a misfit half-demon child belonging to a species of beings who guard the doors between the world(s) of the living and the dead enters the mortal world. An amateur magician unleashes an entity determined to tear apart the delicate balance between realms. Shit hits the fan.

Vibes: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Over the Garden Wall, The Witch, Interview With the Vampire (movie), The Company of Wolves, The Secret Garden, Sleepy Hollow, Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, Labyrinth, Return To Oz

POV: Multiple POVs, third person, interlaced with diary entries and letters--so partially an epistolary novel

Some themes: death, breaking the cycle of generational trauma, forging one's own identity, adolescence, being the black sheep, being the sacrificial lamb, found family, isolation, anti-capitalism/colonialism, queerness, oppression, the "other", inversion of normativity, the predator archetype, "the empowered child", control/power, grappling with fate and history, making the future, etc...

Features: character driven, nobody's really the "hero" or "good guy" (whole point is everyone's a person/being the world traditionally sees as "wicked" or "evil"), fairies, witchcraft, sorcery, Stonehenge, romanticism, castles, ruined monasteries, graveyards, magic lantern shows, hearth cooking, early industrial revolution, early science, ballrooms, candelabras, desolate moors, ghosts, demons, consumption, melancholia, friends who are each others' beloathed, souling/trick-or-treating, dandies, dying 19th century waifs taking control of their own destiny, time travel, pretty dresses, the taste of butter, deals with the devil AND MORE

Story:

Set-up: England, 1810. The nation has reached a strength and prosperity never before seen, and advancements in technology and science are rapidly pushing the 18th century into the dizzying 19th. Industrialization is changing the fabric of life in hardly conceivable ways, and amidst the rise of capitalistic modernity it seems the belief in a lively and ever-present spirit world --so ubiquitous in previous centuries-- is under serious threat. But with upsets like mass crop failures, the ongoing Napoleonic wars, and multiple uprisings in recent memory, anxieties in this rapidly changing world are high, with some turning to evangelicalism and reactionary moralizing. Many believe the end of the world must be near arrival. Meanwhile, the world continues to largely be lit by fire, and one must still use the moon to light their way on a country road at night. And in the country there are those who still believe in quaint things like the Fair Folk and practice primitive charms. And in these dark places, in these cracks between the veil, tucked in the corners of the tangible, there are ancient supernatural forces yet lying in wait to stake their claim on the land of the living once again.

Plot (will change/be added to as I develop more): A dying child summons a demon in his bedroom to help him run away from home and finds himself bound to serve the spirit. After spending his whole life within the walls of his family's mansion, he's simultaneously thrust into both the mortal world of his time and into that of the Other Side. After some time spent feverishly drinking from the cup of life to the point of excess with the encouragement of his new demon companion and plunging headfirst into delicious immoral behavior that flies in the face of the oppressive society of his time, he thinks he's made himself a pretty good deal. But soon he learns that the demon is interested in involving him in more than just juvenile delinquency, and in fact intends to usher in a new era where evil spirits, the dead, and Other Things will freely meddle with and torment the living. What's more, there's a species of guardian spirits who have previously prevented this from happening--ones who open and close the door between worlds in a controlled manner, ones who, particularly, steward the yearly lifting of the veil that occurs on Halloween/Samhain. And the demon intends to destroy them all, starting with a young member of their race who has foolishly entered the mortal realm, thus breaking an ancient covenant. The child is sent to search for and manipulate this being into the demon's clutches, which he finds more difficult than he anticipated when he accidentally makes the first friend he's ever had in the process. The two then journey around England, with the human child acting as the being's guide through messy mortal life. Together they survive off of the victuals they scare out of hapless cottagers they haunt along the way while the demon works to recruit more earthly and unearthly helpers to its scheme. It all leads up to a climax where the fate of the worlds, and of Halloween, is decided. There's also definitely going to be subplots and backstories.

Characters (so far) with example images:

Tristan:

A sickly, precocious 12 year old shut up in the gilded, but stifling halls of his family's country estate, Tristan is determined to do ANYTHING to liberate himself and live some life before he drops dead from his ailments. Even if it means summoning dark forces to help him escape into the outside world. Even if it means serving the infernal entity he conjured and helping it carry out its nefarious schemes. In fact this suits Tristan just fine. That is until he meets the demon's number one target.. [Tag: #tristan]

Crispin:

[combine image 1 and 2 in your head to get an idea of Crispin's unhuman appearance.]

A young member of a species of demon/human hybrids who strive to keep balance between the spirit and mortal realms. About 10 years old in mortal time. About ??? years old in nonmortal time. He escapes the horrors of his family's Hellish castle located in a limbo-like space, and enters our world. In 1810 his clothing and speech are about 200 years out of date. His nature differs from others of his species, so when he stumbles upon mortals, he yearns to join in with them..which is made a just a bit difficult owing to his monstrous appearance and the fact that doing so goes against every tenet of his kind. [Tag: #crispin]

Demon/Spirit (no name yet):

A Being of mysterious and extremely antique origin. Banished and chained beneath a neolithic ritual site for thousands of years due to its destructive intentions and dangerous power. Freed by the summoning of a little shit named Tristan. Takes the form of a comely young man. Immediately intends on being up to no good again; might fuck around and usher in the apocalypse. [Tag: #cult]

Witch (no name yet):

A seeress, cunning woman, and good old fashioned witch, she's a young woman living in an isolated cottage at the edge of a wood leading into Faerie. She finds herself the reluctant keeper of a half-demon charge who Shouldn't Be Here. She has to deal with all the challenges involved with rearing an inhuman child, on top of preventing him from wriggling out of her grasp and into the company of other humans. She instructs Crispin in mortal magic and gives him the first affection he's ever gotten. [Tag: #teacher]

Lamia:

Crispin's elder sister. A more typical example of their species, she is vicious, cruel, and perfectly at home in the house of horrors they grow up in. Nevertheless, she is fascinated by Crispin, and, dissatisfied/bored with the way their family operates, sets out after him for some fun. [Tag: #lamia]

Emrys:

A vagabonding sin eater of indeterminate age because he looks young, but is so ragged and worn down it's hard to tell. He performs an old and fading tradition as yet kept up in country places, which he believes has damned him to Hell. Meets the other characters on his/their wanderings and gets drawn into everything, resulting in a pretty intense identity crisis. [Tag: no tag yet]

Setting/tags:

Setting: Regency England/British Isles--a good chunk of the action takes place in the countryside of the southwestern English county of Wiltshire. Later the action moves to London. May also be other locations, such as Scotland or Ireland or maybe even America-- not sure of how big the scope is going to be yet. [Tags: #setting, #interior, #countryside, #woods, #england, #dailylife, #regency, #wiltshire, and more...] Will also be delving into different realms, such as faerie.

Other tags: #occult, #stonecircle, #cemetery, #fairies, #witchcraft, #halloween, #pagan, #mythology, #folklore, #ancient, #mementomori and so on...

"Soundtrack" playlist:

Wow, if you read this whole thing thank you so much!! I'm psyched to finally get this intro out and give you guys a more general overview of the story. Can't wait to share a whole lot more!!!

{All footage in the video above taken by me at my local cemetery/historic site. The song used is "May Song" by Martin Carthy. All the art used is historical.}

[hehearse]

yknow. ive been sending sctir songs but i have abt 200 more orv songs in my pocket than i do sctir,,, by account of having read it all through of course,,, so. ill just uhh.

fourteen,, Bones by Imagine Dragons!! yjh. yjh yjh yjh. SO yjh its unbelievable. absolutely fucking throttling myself abt it. the anger about the constellations using his lives as entertainment, his hatred of them and his desire to destroy them all. his repeating and walking through the same life over and over again with each regression and. aaaaaughhhh.

fifteen. Arms Tonite by Mother Mother!! kdj... kdj. kim dokja my fffucckign beloathed. arms tonite is just quite frankly just what happens in orv imo. demon king fight onwards. its. aaaaaaaaaaaaugggggagugagggaghgh < girl who is NOT over kim dokja

Bones by Imagine Dragons yeah i can see this... very clearly seeing it.... but i think you could also apply anna croft to it ^^ (<- evil) don't they all have magic in their bones (dragging their corpses along through one life after another, hating the constellations etc etc)

cause in my heart. both of them. also that snippet of anna croft nailing yjh down you know-

Arms Tonite by Mother Mother

you are absolutely correct, that is kdj, that is him forcing his companions to kill him. ohg the duality of kdj. throws himself off the cliff, looks mourningly at the faces of people trying to catch him. staying on the train and yet sending them off with his 49% self etc etc... pain forever.

but also. consider this if you will.

25yo yoohyun dying in yoojin's hands. throwing his life away and after the years of separation. he is fine in his snowfield, untouched as if sleeping. he is fine in his hyung's arms tonight, breathing and warm despite yoojin's many nightmares. he died in yoojin's arms, with one last hug as his goodbye ^^ (<- about to die)