#beka's such a dumbass

[thebekashow]

Mya and Randall meet Tates new fren

[hispeculiartreasure]

BROKE MY TOE AGAIN

[cake-writes]

Hi! What’s the top 3 favorite fics you’ve read this year? Btw, your stories are great.

Hey there! Thanks for the question, so sorry for the delay! And thank you!

I haven’t done a whole lot of reading this year because I’m a dumbass and need to work on my self-care, BUT here are my favourites (in no particular order and YES I know that there are more than three listed here, lmao, I just couldn’t pick and then it turned into a huge list so enjoy):

One-Shots 

This road trip drabble by @gagmebucky​. Q’s smut is always an 11 out of 10, but this one is my absolute favourite of hers! FUCK it’s hot. 🔥 

Honey In June by @nacho-bucky​. So sweet!!! Morning kisses? Yes!!! Cait writes the softest, sweetest 40s!Bucky and we all know how in love with him I am. I mean, come on. He’s precious!

Deal With The Devil by @sagechanoafterdark​. (There’s also a second part.) God, I’m so impressed by Sage’s originality in this. Seriously, it’s such a unique premise!!! Kept me hooked from start to finish.

Chapter Fics

Dreamgirl by @venusofthehardsells​. Bucky is just a little grey, here, and god Clara writes his inner conflict and turmoil so well! Peppermint fucking swirl. 😩👌 

Write Me Rightly by @brooklyn-boy​. I’m such a sucker for love letters, and Aura’s done a fantastic job with them!!! I really love the blended delivery of this, too – social media AU, epistolary, and written fic all in one. 

Your Love Is Sunlight by @rubberbucky​. I’M A SUCKER FOR FAKE DATING TOO LOL and god I love this fic so much. I’ve been waiting so patiently for Cass to put out another chapter (but no pressure, my darling, I know that feel. Take all the time you need!)

The Recruit by @moonstruckbucky​. Steve is such an asshole in this and it’s killing me in the best of ways. It’s amazing. Meg likes to torture me with little hints of why, but never a full explanation and I’M DYING OVER HERE. FUCK.

Say Yes To Life by @kentuckybarnes. I’ll admit, I haven’t gotten around to finishing this yet, but I am IN LOVE with Hannah’s portrayal of Bucky here. He’s so conflicted, so broken, so in pain that he resorts to self-medicating, and it’s just so real. I love it. I feel it. I identify with it.

Die Besessenheit by @imanuglywombat and @sophiria. I don’t read too many dark!fics, but I really love this one. It’s such a slow burn – slow manipulation – and it always keeps me on edge. These lovely ladies’ writing is spectacular, and the kinks… w h e w 💦

All We’ve Got Is Time by @hispeculiartreasure. Last I heard Beka is taking a break from this one, and that’s totally okay! She’s poured her heart and soul into this fic and it shows. I literally just went through 20-something pages of my #fic rec tag to find it and link it here. This is one of the first fics I read after making my writing blog on here, and it’ll always have a special place in my heart because of that. It’s lovely.

Social Media AUs

Wordpeddler by @heli0s-writes​. Fucking hysterical. Oh my god.

Mais Charmante by @sunmoonandbucky​. THIS IS PERFECTION

Hey, It’s Me Again by @geosaurusrrex. OG. THE ORIGINAL. TOP TIER

…AND HERE I AM, LIKE A FOOL, EDITING THIS LIKE 20 MINS AFTER I POSTED IT BECAUSE I HAVE A PROBLEM

How did I forget about Slow Like Honey by @heli0s-writes​?! IT’S SO SOFT. I fucking love single dad AUs and this one takes the cake!!!

[anathemafiction]

IM CRYING I LOVED THE UPDATE ALOT ???? i was up all night and wasnt feeling great and then boom saw the update and played the game i just felt somuch better i love the main characters they’re all so cool and the fact that we have a lot of choices to pick what you want to say or do im really grateful also beka is so cute :,) i hope he is doing well n maybe we will get to meet her again ???? OHOH and i cant believe mc and hadrian almost kissed i am so gay for the dumbass you have no idea

I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you for the lovely message ♡

[abovethesmokestacks]

This year has been... a lot. It’s been ups and downs and everything inbetween. I’m walking into 2020 feeling like I should have done better but at the same time things could have been worse. I’ll be starting the new year off on a fic writing hiatus, still undetermined how long, but I would be surprised if you’ll see anything new from me during before the beginning of March. I need this after everything, and it’ll give me time to work on another project and to read more. I’ll be participating in the lovely @beccaanne814‘s 366 Days reading challenge, and I hope as many of you as possible join me on that.

I am incredibly blessed to have found a community of people on this site, people who make me laugh and who support me and encourage me and see me for the dumbass weirdo I am and go “okay, cool”. You are the reason I keep coming back again and again to this hellscape to share stories, moodboards, cats, laughs and everything between heaven and earth.

@loup-malin, my true soulsister, my New York encyclopedia, my Hozier thirst friend, my everything. I have no idea what I would do without you, and I am grateful every day that a skinny Scottish streak brought us together

@hispeculiartreasure, my darling Beka, who I can send every Evans pic ever to with “rude” attached and will rant right along with me, who has the most beautiful smile and a beautiful mind to match and who I can’t wait to meet

@lowkeysebastianstan, I really don’t know what to say that won’t sound trite. You introduced me to the best fic ever, you keep blessing me with incredible writings and ideas. Best mission assist. CONFIRM.

@writemarvelousthings, my sweetest petunia, who suffer through my Snaps with ever grace and who has been the source of so many ideas and imagines and who on more than one occasion makes me melt a little

@whatisaheroanyway, quite possibly the most talented artist I know, who writes her own kind of magic and make it leap off the page both in words and images and who I one day dream to buy a work of art from

@damienazario, a literal actual Angel, so incredibly talented and so patient and kind with every question I throw her way, who humble me and teach me with every conversation and who has a place in my heart with her tags

To the gals in the London support group, @bitsandbobsandstuff, @brookebarnes, @mrshopkirk, @st-eve-barnes, you are the best I could ever wail with over a fic, and I am still living on London memories

There are so many writers that have shaped me and whose genius makes what little talent I have pale in comparison. Thank you for continuing to share your stories and your magnificence, and I hope to read so much more from each and every one of you. I’m trying to tag all of you, but if I somehow forget, then you still have a place in my heart. @avengerofyourheart, @sebbytrash, @captainrogerss, @themcuhasruinedme, @interestedbystanderwrites, @brixtonlore, @cametobuyplums, @plumfondler, @bucky-plums-barnes​, @redgillan​, @hellomissmabel​, @softlybarnes​

Here’s hoping we all have a magical 2020.

[impala-dreamer]

Beka. Can I just rant to you for a moment. Because my stupid dumbass heart is confused.

I'm all ears, babe

[maydei]

TEACHING YURIO HOW TO DRIVE

“Okay, Yurio, put your foot on the brake when you turn the key—”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Yuuri raised a brow—he was used to this kind of behavior by now. So, just a few seconds later, when Yurio turned an accusatory glance on him and demanded, “What now?” he simply shook his head.

“Are you going to let me teach you?”

“Well, Victor doesn’t drive, and Beka doesn’t drive anything with four wheels, so—”

“Oh my god, you call him Beka—?”

“No one asked you, Katsudon!!“ Yurio scowled in his general direction. When he turned back to the wheel, the tips of his ears were red. “How do I put it in first gear?”

SEND PROMPTS 👀

[otabangbang]

Wakey Wakey

((Otayuri filth for Yuri’s birthday!!! ...Should I refer to it as a lemon...?)

The time was around 7:00 and Otabek was awake. He'd been away for a bit, waiting and plotting. Normally he woke up after Yuri, but on that particular morning, he was sitting up slowly in the bed, so as not to immediately disturb his sleeping boyfriend.

It was luck, however, that Yuri was already asleep on his back.

Yuri didn't sleep in terribly much, a shirt and underwear, while Otabek had taken to just sleeping in his boxers. Together they made a hell of a furnace and he would overheat if he wore more. Yuri, however, got cold easy unless Otabek was curled around him.

For that reason he felt a little guilty leaning over the blonde and gently pulling the covers down his body. When they were down to a little below his knees, Otabek quickly swung a leg over and nearly straddled his waist, not putting his weight down yet.

He arched over Yuri and kissed his cheeks, letting his warm breath linger on his face. He knew from experience it wouldn't wake Yuri. Otabek planted his hands down on either side of Yuri and proceeded to kiss what little of his neck he could get to, rewarded by a little noise.

Perfect. Otabek smiled before nibbling slightly along his collar bone, hearing yet more little noises. He rolled his shirt up at a crawling pace, knowing Yuri might shiver. With slight hesitation, he lifted one hand and pressed his warm palm gently against Yuri's chest. To work his nipples, or not...? Otabek had been planning the morning but never made a firm decision whether or not that would wake Yuri before he wanted.

Somehow he forced himself not to take those exquisite pink nubs between his lips.

He moved down Yuri's body, letting his weigh settle somewhat a little lower down his legs. He dipped his head down to his stomach. The skin there was soft against his cheek and Otabek had to nuzzle against it before he kissed a trail down.

Before long he was at Yuri's crotch. He could see through his thin tiger print underwear that Yuri was half hard. So was Otabek, but what he was doing that morning wasn't for himself. It was all about the love of his life. He palmed Yuri's cock through his underwear and licked his lips. Yuri's shafted stiffened yet more under his touch and it wasn't long before he yanked the front of the underwear down. Yuri groaned lightly in his sleep and started to shift, his head falling to his side and hand reaching down...to stop and drop against his stomach.

Fuck, Yuri masturbating in his sleep would be one of the hottest damn things he could ever hope to see.

It wasn't about him. It was about giving Yuri something he had enjoyed in the past, a true good morning. He smiled over Yuri. Shit, he was blessed...

Otabek squeezed his shaft in his fist. It throbbed in return and he couldn't hold back. Down his head went and he took the tip of Yuri's erection between his lips, licking the head eagerly. It swelled and Yuri groaned again.

More.

Otabek took him in further, his fingers playing with Yuri's balls. Even those - he popped the dick out of his mouth and noticed Yuri's thighs starting to part a little. His lips touched the delicate skin of Yuri's sack. He lapped at it, taking his balls in his mouth and running his slick tongue over them. Yuri's legs twitched.

Otabek pulled back and laughed gently, just because he was enjoying himself. "Yuraaaa....Yuuuraaa..." He said his name finally, drawing it out and saying it loud enough to usually wake his sleeping beauty. "Yuraa..." He squeezed his dick again.

"Nnnn..." Yuri started to stir.

And so, Otabek took his hard cock in his mouth again. He took it in further then to the back of his throat. With a lot of focus he was able to slide a hand up, his thumb rubbing over one of his nipples.

"Ahhh...ff...Ota-Otabek...aahh..."

Music to his ears. He pinched the nipple and Yuri's dick jumped as the blonde let out a high pitched noise.

"B-Beka!"

Otabek made a slurping noise as he once again released Yuri's dick from between his lips and raised his eyes to look up at him. Yuri's head was picked up, cheeks flushed as he watched him in the light coming through the curtains. It was a funny sight, Yuri so obviously turned on with sleepy eyes.

"Morning, birthday boy," Otabek told him with a grin as he stroked him. "Been a while since I woke you like this."

Yuri groaned and reached forward, his fingers brushing Otabek's cheek. "The best way to start a morning..."

"Mmm hmmm..." Otabek darted his tongue across the tip and Yuri's hips twitch again.

"You could have fucked me, you know," Yuri said, and the hard-on Otabek was keeping in check jumped.

But no... "Later." He stroked him and Yuri's head fell back while his hand slid into Otabek's hair. "You'll get the fucking of the year, when you're awake to enjoy it fully," he told him as he went back to sucking his dick.

Yuri's grip tightened in his hair and Otabek didn't mind a bit. When Yuri was making satisfied moans and pressing his head down with every thrust up, he continued not to mind. Yuri could fuck his throat for hours and he probably wouldn't mind as long as he got a few seconds to breath every now and then.

Otabek fondled his balls as he could feel them tightening, and he knew Yuri was on the edge. A few seconds later Yuri pulled his hair. "Otabeeeeeeeeek," he groaned, dick stopping above his tongue. Yuri uttered curses as he came in Otabek's mouth, generous waves leaving him. Otabek could barely taste his hot cum as it slid right down his throat.

Yuri's grip on him loosened but Otabek kept him in his mouth, taking all he would give him and rolling the quickly softening cock in his mouth even as Yuri let out small whines. He didn't do so too long, Otabek had no wish to torture him when he was so over-sensitive - at least, not that early in the morning.

When he lifted his body up only to lay it along top of Yuri's, his beloved's head was sinking back into the pillow, eyes half closed. Still, when Otabek's face hovered over his, Yuri smiled and took his head in his hands. "You fuckin' pervert. I love you. I love you so fucking much."

Otabek gazed down at him and lowered his face enough that their noses were touching. "Happy birthday, my Yura. I love you."

"You must if you got up early to suck my dick."

"Let's be clear, Yura...." He kissed his lips before resuming the nose touching. "I am always, always good with less sleep if it involves making you come."

"...Beka. Geez." His face was red. "So, is my birthday full of sex, then?"

"No."

"Aww..." Yuri pouted.

"There will be sex. Don't you worry. But mainly, I am taking you to pick out your gift," Otabek told him, feeling especially good about it. In fact, he was excited..

Yuri pouted even more. "I have to pick my own gift? No surprise?"

Otabek gave the tiniest nod. "Uh-huh. I really think you'll be more satisfied if you get to pick your OWN motorcycle."

"My own- Beka!?" Yuri's eyes went wide and the pout dropped. "My own what!?"

"Motorcycle. There's a down payment that will go towards any of the bikes the seller has. He expects us promptly at one today, so be ready." Otabek grinned wide, very wide and had to look away in his excitement. He knew Yuri would love it.

Then the air was almost knocked out of him in a crushing hug as Yuri let go of his face and encircled his body with his surprisingly strong arms. "Otabek Altin, fuck you! You're amazing!"

Otabek was used to Yura's odd expressions of happiness so he laughed against him. "Sorry, I'll fuck YOU...you'll be in some state as bliss when we go out."

Yuri was giggling and hugging him, legs even kicking off the bottom of the blankets and the underwear so they could wrap around Otabek's waist. But then suddenly, he stopped. "Wait...can I really test out motorcycles and what I can ride best if my ass is sore from you?"

Otabek blinked. He hadn't thought about that. "Mmm...I guess that will be something important to consider when picking...can you ride after you 'riiide'?"

"Dumbass." Yuri sighed, and then immediately returned to laughing and hugging Otabek.

It was going to be a good day.

[uhhholby]

beka: i really couldn't be pregnant

my dumbass lesbian brain: she's GAY?

[disgayronpa-funtimes]

Hi, hello!

This is Disgayronpa, previously known and Discordronpa. The server is run by our Ouma, aka Sam, the Dumbass Mod

Our most active members are:

Quinnifer aka Quinn, the Sleep Police (Togami, Celeste, Kirumi)

Michael aka Mikey, the Alt God Twink (Fuyuhiko, Makoto, Chiaki, Gonta?)

Herm aka Herm, the Cryptic Thinker (Izuru)

Wolf/Lupen, the Youngest (Keebo, Kazuichi, Usami)

Beka, the Animal Keeper (Gundham)

We tend to be VERY meme-ish in the OOC chats... Especially when Sam is offline.

Our most common jokes are Quinn's sleep policing us, calling Sam five and/or two, and giving our characters happy, normal lives

.... hahahahaha.

Anyways, enjoy our bullshit!

INVITE LINK, IF YOU WANT TO JOIN:

https://discord.gg/CVp6bMR

[otabottom]

Jjbek prompt anon-sorry for forgetting, you pick the category!

anonymous asked:

15-JJBek!

15 - “She’s/he’s not my boyfriend!”

When Otabek sighs for the umpteenth time like a lovesick idiot that he is, Yuri thinks, ‘that’s it’. He closes the magazine he’s been reading as forcefully as he can, slapping the pages together to get Otabek’s attention.

“All right, you dumbass. That’s enough of the pining. Please, just go text your boyfriend, alright?”

Otabek lifts his head up to glare at Yuri. He’s sprawled on Yuri’s bed like a starfish, hand over his head while Yuri has been reading on the couch like a normal person.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Otabek insists. Yuri has never heard him whine, but the tone he just used comes pretty close.

Yuri rolls his eyes and throws a sofa cushion in the general direction of Otabek.

“Then make him your boyfriend. That’s what you want, right?” 

It’s been infuriating seeing Otabek moon over that Canadian idiot. Mostly because Jean-Jacques is a huge douchebag, but also because lovesick Otabek is lethargic and lifeless, only perking up when there’s a message on his phone (and only to sulk ten seconds later when he realises it’s not from JJ). Yuri would spend all his free time dragging Otabek that the object of his affection is the literal dictionary definition of a fuckboy, but he doesn’t have the heart to do it. Yuri has never seen Otabek act like this towards anyone else. There was that awkward stage where he and Otabek tried out the whole dating thing, but that doesn’t count. They were pretty awful together, Yuri thinks. Awkward and completely on a different wavelength romantically. They are great as friends, though.

Which is why Yuri doesn’t want to sabotage Otabek’s love life, even if he thinks that JJ is no way in hell deserving of Otabek.

The sofa cushion is flung back towards Yuri, but Yuri is used to these kind of attacks so he just ducks his head while making his way towards the kitchen.

“I don’t know!” He hears Otabek’s exasperated voice from the alcove where the bed is. His voice is muffled, so Yuri suspects that Otabek has drowned his face in Yuri’s pillow (again). “Maybe! But he’s - he probably doesn’t even remember who I am!”

Yuri rolls his eyes again as he pours them both a glass of Coke. Not diet coke, but the real stuff. He also balances slices of cold pizza on top of both glasses before returning to the living room. He places the glass and the pizza on the nightstand next to Otabek’s head and returns to the couch, tapping an affirmative answer to Netflix’s ‘are you still watching Friends?’.

“Of course he remembers you, Beks. Just text him, for god’s sakes. You guys talked for hours at the banquet and he barely left your side the whole evening,” Yuri says, mouth full of pizza. He knows Otabek is going to force them to go running tomorrow morning, but before that he’s going to shove as much pizza into himself as he possibly can.

Otabek and JJ talked a lot during the banquet. Yuri doesn’t know whether Otabek had been thinking about JJ even before that (because he is a secretive asshole and Yuri has to constantly remind him to share his thoughts), but the banquet was the first time they met face to face. The Canadian boy sauntered over to Otabek to congratulate him on his creative short-program that gave him the best personal score of the season. Yuri didn’t hear the whole conversation (because apparently eavesdropping was rude), but he remembers how soft Otabek’s eyes went and how he couldn’t quite hide how nervous he was, standing in front of JJ. His cheeks were a little pink and he played with the collar of his shirt a little too much to seem casual.

Since the banquet, Otabek has flushed deep red whenever Yuri mentions anything about the subject. He spends all his free time looking through JJ’s Instagram and Snapchat, sighing and biting his lip.

“Have you seen his latest Instagram pictures, though?” Otabek asks.

“No.”

“He’s in most of them with some girl. He’s someone else’s boyfriend, Yura!”

Yuri gives Otabek an amused look. “Who, Isabella Yang? They’re not dating.”

“How can you know?”

Yuri is never going to tell Otabek that he’s done some snooping around like friends do, because, well, Otabek would murder him with his bare hands. But Yuri is friends with Mila, and Mila is friends with Sara, and Sara used to train with Isabella together in Italy. (It’s lucky the whole figure skating scene is this small.) Yuri requested Mila to ask around for him and yep - Isabella and JJ used to pair skate together when they were little before Isabella decided to drop skating altogether, JJ continued by himself. They’ve been friends their whole life, but they’re not dating. And in fact, according to Mila, JJ is very much interested in men.

“Because I listen to gossip more than you, Beka,” Yuri says with a shrug of his shoulder. “Just please, please message him. He was impressed by the fact that you mix your own music to your programs, right? Maybe you could offer to make something for him for next season?” 

Otabek has been scrolling his phone, but he pauses to look at Yuri. He’s frowning, but he’s not instantly screaming ‘no’, so that’s good.

“That’s dumb,” Otabek says slowly.

“Well, you are quite dumb to like him in the first place, but here we are.”

Otabek licks his lips and glances at his phone. “I don’t have his phone number.”

“Just DM him in Instagram”, Yuri suggests. Who the fuck even sent text messages these days? Oh, that’s right - Otabek did.

“And if I did that, what should I even say?” Otabek asks, defensive but clearly desperate for advice.

“‘Hey’.”

“That’s it?”

Yuri lifts his brows to the boy. “Y-yes? That’s what people say when they start a conversation.”

Otabek flips his overgrown hair from his face. “Are you saying that you, who’s currently seeing three different ice hockey players and who’s had more boyfriends than I’ve had kisses in my entire life, just sends messages that say ‘hey’ when you want to open a conversation?”

Yuri gives the boy a pained look. He knows Otabek is not yet very experienced with dating, but holy fuck, Yuri had no idea he was this clueless. “Yes.”

“And then what?”

“Then they say ‘hi’ back and ask you how you’ve been. You answer them and ask them how they’ve been. They tell about their day, you tell about your day. They compliment your most recent selfie and you compliment theirs and boom, you’re exchanging dick pics.”

Otabek goes deep red and opens his mouth to protest. Yuri thinks he’s going to say something about Yuri being too gross or explicit, but instead what comes out of his mouth is: “But I don’t have any pictures of me on my Instagram. There’s nothing to compliment.”

Yuri smirks and lifts up his own phone, twirling it in his hand. “Babe, this is exactly why I have a whole folder dedicated to candid photos I’ve taken of you.” He pats the place next to him on the sofa. “Come here and pick one with me. After we’ve posted it, we’re going to message JJ.”

Otabek huffs and stomps to Yuri, throws himself into the sofa like this is the worst thing he’s ever had to do.

“Fine! But if this blows up in my face, I’m going to blame you,” he says, but Yuri hears the excitement in his voice. He huffs a laugh, because he remembers how he and JJ been in the bathrooms the same time and how JJ had fussed with his awful haircut for and opened too many buttons of his shirt before returning to talk to Otabek. Yuri is sure a fuck that JJ is thinking about Otabek, too.

“Just thank me at your wedding,” Yuri sing-songs as he begins scrolling through the pictures on his phone.

[julyshewrites]

Lobby texts between Yuri and Phichit

(This scene snippet happens in Chapter 3 of my Lovefools fanfic, when Yuri is texting Phichit in the movie theater lobby.)

BEFORE THE MOVIE

Phichit: So, are you and JJ a thing now, because as far as rebounds go not bad...

Yuri: No! Gross! We're just hanging out.

Phichit: Ususally people who just hang out don't go sticking their tongues down other people's throats.

Yuri: I told you, I was just helping him because of Izzy last night.

Phichit: Helping him... with your tongue... ;P

Yuri: Shut up.

Phichit: So what are you doing tonight?

Yuri: JJ and I are seeing a movie.

Phichit: WHAT?! He's taking you to a movie?

Phichit: Next, he'll be taking you out to dinner.

Yuri: Uhh...

Phichit: ????????

Yuri: He just brought over a pizza to my place tonight. Plus, I bought the tickets for the movie, not him.

Phichit: Are you SURE you guys aren't dating?????

Yuri: NO!!!!!

AFTER THE MOVIE

Phichit: YOU MADE OUT WITH JJ TONIGHT?????

Yuri: It wasn't like that! He was just helping me out, because of Beka’s dumbass girlfriend.

Phichit: Just like how you helped him out at the salsa club with Izzy?

Yuri: Exactly. Wait, what are you implying?

Phichit: You guys just seem to help each other out a lot... with your TONGUES

Yuri: We are just friends. THAT’S ALL!

Phichit: Friends... with benefits?

Yuri: NO!

Phichit: Sure, sure...

Yuri: So, are you coming Saturday or not?

Phichit: Of course I’m coming. I’m all for you making Beka jealous with that piece of hot ass on your arm. Because DAY-UM, that boy is too tasty.

Phichit: You should totally date him for real.

Yuri: SHUT UP!!!

[thejgatsbykid]

thestolenrelic replied to your post “Tagged by @vicious-rhythm and currently procrastinating lmao I’ll...”

(i actually was a Dumbass and read the books backwards at first bc Trickster’s Choice had a fancy cover i was intrigued by, then i went back and read the chronological timeline starting with the alanna books)

SAME actually I think i started w trickster’s queen bc it was in the library but not the first one so i got like a quarter in and was like “ok cool so i need to read the first book” and i bought the first two Daine books at a book fair but I only finished the first one and i read i think half the Alanna books, and the first Beka Cooper book adn then like 2/3 of the second one, then i went back and read all of trickster’s choice MUCH later, so i have like. a scattershot knowledge of her books lmao. i also read half of a short story collection she did at one point. i have a whole shelf on my goodreads just for her bc i need to read her whole universe at some point

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Mommy’s Little Helper

Characters: Y/N Y/L/N, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Sam Winchester.      

Pairing: Destiel x Reader

Warnings: Surprise pregnancy if that is a warning, Dean being an idiot. Crack fic pretty much.

Word Count: 1500ish

A/N: This is written for @docharleythegeekqueen who won my best feedback award for August 17. She requested this: Hi! I mean thank you so much for choosing me for your feedback awards. Honestly, it really means a lot and I just love your stories so much. So I was thinking about something to see if you’re interested. Possibly Destiel x Reader? Like they are in a poly relationship and she finds out she’s pregnant but wants to surprise them. Could be AU or canon ish? I’ll let you play.

It is also my entry for @winchesterprincessbride Princess Bride Quote Challenge and my prompt was “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”

Thanks to Beka for being a total sweetheart and not only betaing this for me but brainstorming it aswell. I owe you one @impala-dreamer

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Castiel was off on some errand in Heaven and Dean was on a hunt with his brother the day you realised. You had been feeling a little off your game lately, and, thinking you were coming down with something, you had sent the boys off on their own, telling them you would man the fort. Honestly, a few days on your own had seemed like the best thing ever. You loved your best friend and your husbands. Yes, you heard right: husbands. You, Cas, and Dean had married each other a few months ago in some Enochian binding ritual. Sam had performed it, while being corrected by Cas every few minutes, much to the younger Winchester’s annoyance, and your and Dean’s amusement. But it had been done. You were married and happier than ever. Still, living with two men and an angel (yes, I realise that sounds like a bad buddy comedy) was driving you crazy, and a few days on your own had been a welcome change. Throwing up at all hours of the day hadn’t.

You might have been a little slow on the uptake for a genius, but it actually did take you until your bra didn’t seem to fit right, for you to realize it might not be a flu upsetting your stomach. A trip to the pharmacy, peeing on a bunch of sticks, and a slight panic attack later you were ready to admit to yourself you were having a baby. As soon as that admission settled in your mind, your excitement started to grow. You had grown up in this life. You had never thought you could have a family of your own, but you did. There was no doubt in your mind that both Dean and Cas were going to be amazing dads, and who was the biological father didn’t matter to you one bit. All that mattered was the joy bubbling in your chest, and you instantly started thinking of ways to surprise you hunter and angel.

You being you, couldn’t pick just one way of surprising them. It took you a full day of shopping to get everything you needed and the entire night of carving pumpkins before you allowed yourself to go to bed. You placed the 4 pumpkins at the edge of the staircase in the Warroom. The two biggest had Dean and Cas’ names carved into each of them, while the medium sized one had a big hole in the front showing a smaller pumpkin inside it.

The next day you spent replacing all the labels of Dean’s beer and whiskey with labels saying drink this for me, before hanging small envelopes with words special delivery written on them from the ceiling with stork feathers attached to all of them. Should one of the guys open any, you had stuffed a tiny letter into each saying you + me + you = four.  

When you were finally pleased with how the Bunker looked, you sent Dean a quick text and Cas a prayer, asking them both to come home. You knew they would be a while, the Bunker being some distance from the Sandbox and Dean working a case, so while you waited, you headed for the kitchen to bake Dean a pie. You had found this really awesome pie tin while shopping yesterday, with the words we’re pregnant written at the bottom and you knew there was no way Dean wasn’t finishing your homemade pecan pie.

What you hadn’t expected though, was for pregnancy brain to set in quite so fast. Every time you turned around it seemed as if your ingredients had either moved around or had been mixing themselves. It got to the point where you closed your eyes for a second trying to focus. If this was starting already, you were damn happy you had two guys in your life to remember things for you.

“Y/N/N? I got your text! Is everything okay?”

Crap! You hadn’t expected him to get here so soon. The pie was nowhere near done, but as soon as you finished your thought, the ingredients started flying around the kitchen, mixing themselves.

“What’s with the pumpkins and decorations, Sweetheart? It’s not Halloween for another month,” Dean chuckled before freezing on the spot with the sight that met him.

The kitchen was a mess, pots and batter and spoons where flying all over the place while you stood in the middle of it, looking on. Or, someone that looked like you at least.

It didn’t take Dean long to get past his initial surprise, pulling his gun at you just as you turned around. Horror was written all over your face and Dean had to battle himself not to toss the weapon aside and pull you into his arms. The need to comfort you was overwhelming, but Dean kept reminding himself that whatever that thing in front of him was, it wasn’t you.

“Dean,” you gasped, not sure what terrified you the most, the kitchen coming alive around you, or the anger in your husband’s emerald eyes as he pointed his gun at your heart.

“Where’s Y/N?” he growled and your eyes widened in surprise. What the hell did he mean, where were you?. You were standing right infront of him as the kitchen went berserk.

“I’m Y/N, you idiot!” You threw your arms out to your sides in exasperation. “Who the hell else would I be?”

“A witch! And these are witch killing bullets,” Dean waved the gun between you a little. “So now tell me, what the hell have you done with Y/N?!”

“I’M NOT A WITCH, YOU MORON! I’M YOUR WIFE,” you full on yelled at him before the weirdest thing happened. Yeah, I mean weirder than the flying pantry.

PUF! Your clothes changed into a black dress and a top hat. Before you could even think or speak, a broomstick flew between your legs, taking you off the floor, screaming bloody murder. I realise you are a fearsome hunter, but don’t judge someone less you’ve been abducted by a magical broomstick!

“Dean!!! Do something,” you screamed at the man, who just stood in the middle of the room, completely gobsmacked as you flew circles around him.

“Y/N?” You kept clinging to the broom for dear life, but your line of sight went to the doorway where Cas stood with a huge grin plastered on his face. If you had dared jump off the damn thing, you would surely have strangled the angel.

“You’re expecting,” Cas stated, only making you wanna kill him even more. But before you could say anything, Dean spoke, turning your murderous rage against him.

“So this is Y/N/N. You sure?” Dean frowned before he remembered what Cas had said. “Wait, she’s expecting what?”

“A baby! You dumbass!! Now help me down! Either of you,” you screamed at them as the broom kept flying circles around the two of them with you, it’s unwilling passenger.

“Our son is doing it, Y/N. If you were just to ask him nicely….” Cas calmly tried to explain, but you were in no mood to follow his instructions. Not directly anyway.

“Young man, if you don’t put your mother down this instant…” you hissed, looking down at your still flat belly and wush, the broom disappeared from under you, making you scream as you fell towards the ground. You closed your eyes, bracing for an impact that never came. Instead, Dean’s smiling face was right next to yours as he gently lowered you onto the ground, after having caught you before the floor could attack you too.

“You got a bun in the oven?” Dean beamed, a boyish, cheeky grin spreading across his face. Before you could scold him for his choice of words, your son decided to join in on your conversation yet again.

Puf! Your clothes changed again and you let out a slight squeal as you looked down at yourself.. You were now dressed as an oven with a bun drawn over your stomach.

“Urgh!” you stomped your foot on the ground, glaring at the two idiots in front of you who were clearly doing their best not to laugh now. “Great! The kid has your powers.” You turned to Cas, who instantly looked to his feet, before your eyes shot daggers at Dean who had the good sense of reacting just like the angel for once. “And your idiotic sense of humor. This is gonna be a long nine months,” you hissed before twirling around, rushing towards your shared room.

You didn’t see the excited, happy look the two of them shared before rushing after you, deadset on making all of this up to you, making sure you had everything you needed. If you thought telling them had been a disaster, the next 9 months surely would nearly kill you. Having two overgrown puppies following you around, waiting on you hand and foot, ordering you not to do stuff, as your baby son made the world around you interesting was not going to be easy.

ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLISTS HERE

DESTIEL x READER TAG TEAM

@docharleythegeekqueen @starswirlblitz @curliesallovertheplace @fallen-castiel @itsmyeffingstory @mrswhozeewhatsis @akshi8278 @mysupernaturalfics   @evilskank-inthemegacoven @tennesseewhiskey-and-pie @castiels-broken-fool @frostedej @ruined-by-destiel @flufy07 @deansleather @phoenixia67 @percywinchester27

[russian-fairy]

OtaYuri fic recs #17

Still by kiazareni, general audiences, 1.1k

He reaches for his phone on the nightstand and opens his messages, squinting at the sudden bright light before Yuri’s last text comes into focus. He wonders if he should ask or say anything, but his medal is right there hanging from the back of a wooden chair and it reminds him that he’s probably the last person Yuri wants to hear from right now.

15 by Qitana, explicit, 8.8k, mafia AU

Looking up, Otabek quirks a brow, intrigued. His gaze is locked with the blonde’s, and he watches as his eyes flicker from blue to green over and over, like a stuttering heartbeat. His right leg is on the ground, the left one bent at the knee with the sole placed firmly on the brick wall. His upper body is leaned towards Otabek, his hand extended, where he holds a golden lighter, the flame burning bright.

It’s an invitation.

Personal Jesus by Blownwish, explicit, 25.5k, 80s high school AU, Otabek/Yuri/JJ

Otabek and Jean negotiate their terms, all over Yuri’s body. Polaroids available upon request.

(More of that 80s high school au you didn’t ask for.)

sequel to Bizarre Love Triangle

Unbelieveable by tootsonnewts, general audiences, 6k

There was no single point at which Yuri realized, understood, and became resigned to the fact that Otabek was an idiot. No, this process occurred slowly, after a series of small events stacked together until he could no longer ignore the painful truth.

Otabek Altin is an unmitigated dumbass.

Theirs by CatAvalon (CazinaIna), mature, 4k

Stupid, Yuri scolds himself, biting down on his forearm, You’re twenty. You’re not even engaged. You’ve never wanted kids before. But kids with Beka- their kids- is something different, something maybe Yuri wants too- in the future, of course.

Don’t You Dare Bring Me Flowers by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic), general audiences, 2.2k

Bradford Pears: An Invasive cockblock species no one should like.

Ultimate Give by softieghost, explicit, 4.5k

“Do you remember what I said when we met in Barcelona?” Otabek said as he set his fork down with a soft clink.

“What was that?” Yuri prompted, even though he had an inkling of where this was going. He just wanted to hear it again.

“Yuri Plisetsky has the unforgettable eyes of a soldier. You looked intense then and you look the same now, like you want something. What do you need, baby?” Otabek was leaning forward into Yuri’s space. They were almost close enough to feel each other’s breath.

Dinner Date by BoxWineConfessions, explicit, 5.4k, mukbang AU, WIP

“Hey guys,” Yuri smiles sheepishly into the camera and reaches out of focus. His hand returns to the shot with his tortoise shell hair clip. He pins back his bangs, and looks at the webcam. “As you all know I have four of my five classes on Tuesdays. I haven’t had time to eat today, and so I’m fucking starving,” and Otabek can’t help but notice the faint dust of a blush on his cheeks. Yuri is so cute when he’s talking about his class schedule. He wonders if he’ll talk about how he did on his Physiology exam, or if he’s still waitlisted for the Anatomy class.

Dick pic by Blownwish, mature, 1.1k

He didn’t mean to send it. Really, he didn’t. It just sort of happened.

White Noise by kashirsky, teen, 1.6k

The obsession was a death spiral that Otabek couldn’t wrench himself out of.

Missing You by kiazareni, general audiences, 2.7k

He tried to remember the last time they talked but nothing came up. It was probably a pointless message, a cat video, or a polite answer to a meaningless question, like how are you, or where have you been. It didn’t make him angry, because if it had, he would have done something about it, he would have kept bothering him, sending texts, and calling until the other had no choice but to answer. If Yuri had been angry, he would have fought.

A Changing of Stripes by softieghost, explicit, 5k

And as all thing in the world change Yuri, too, changed. Puberty ended and brought forth a new monster, reinvented once again. He’s tall - much taller than Otabek, and he’s strong and flighty and graceful but he’s powerful, too, in ways he never used to be. His jaw cuts a line that makes Otabek weak and his collar bones are just asking to be kissed and his feet are so battered and bruised Otabek wants to walk over hot coals to make it alright. Yuri’s power was always in his fluidity, Otabek just took a little while to realize.

[ccerebral-thunderr]

don’t know why i think i could lie

also on ao3 here

Yuri sat at his computer, trying to edit his latest video. It was a general life update after VidCon, as he didn't have any other ideas and he had to post something this month. But he wasn't exactly making progress. Every time Yuri left the safety of the pile of blankets he was sitting under to even try and touch the desktop, he was hit with a wave of chills and shaking.

“Yuri! What do you want for dinner?” Otabek called from the living room.

“I'm not really in the mood to eat,” Yuri yelled back, trying to sound as loud as he could through the blankets.

“How long have you been editing?” Otabek asked, getting up from the couch and pausing the show he was watching.

“I don't know? It's taking a while. I'm not really sure how I want this to look in the end.” Yuri replied, shivering as he tried to move closer to the desk.

“Maybe you should take a break, dude. Come on. We can watch The Office. I know you love yelling at Michael because he's an idiot.”

“The man should not be in charge of an office building! He’s delusional at best!” Yuri yelled, forgetting they had neighbors who would surely be irritated with him for being so loud. But they hadn't complained yet, which meant he’d keep being loud.

“Yuri, seriously. You've been at it for two hours.” Otabek said, sounding concerned.

“Fine. I'm bringing my blankets, though.”

“Okay?” Otabek said, confused. Yuri almost never got cold. Maybe he was getting a little sick.

“I’m here,” Yuri said, although it was muffled, and Otabek looked surprised if only for a split second. There were a lot more blankets than he had anticipated. He’d have to figure out a way to take Yuri’s temperature without him knowing, as he refused to admit he ever got sick. It happened rarely, too.

“Alright. Sit wherever, because I think I’m gonna grab some tortilla chips or whatever we have in the pantry,” Otabek said, and Yuri quickly rearranged his mass of warmth so he could see the TV. He felt around for the remote to start the episode again, and unpaused it just as Otabek sat down.

“Are you okay, Yuri? You usually-” “I’m fine. Just a little cold is all,” Yuri cut his friend off, preparing himself for whatever shenanigans were about to go down in Scranton.

Yuri was asleep not fifteen minutes after the start of the show, which Otabek took as an opportunity. He raced to the cabinet that kept their medicine, which was a half-empty bottle of Tylenol that was probably expired, a bottle of allergy medicine that was at least six months old and had never been opened, and a thermometer that needed new batteries. Otabek quickly changed them, hoping Yuri was still asleep. He walked back in and awkwardly took Yuri’s temp. The results: he was burning at around 103 degrees Fahrenheit(because I’m American and we can’t just use the same measurement system as everybody else in the world because reasons). Otabek let Yuri keep sleeping. Hopefully his fever won’t be as high when he wakes up.

“Yura? Are you okay?” Otabek asked, turning on the living room light. Yuri wasn’t in the cocoon of blankets on the couch. He would have known if Yuri had gone back to his bed, and he wasn’t there. Which meant Yuri was in the bathroom, probably. Otabek ran down the hall and knocked quietly on the door.

“Yuri? Are you in there?” Otabek asked, quieter this time.

“S’okay. Go back to bed, Beka,” Yuri replied, sounding a little slurred.

“Yuri, I’m going to come in, okay?”

“Go back to bed. I’m fine.” Yuri said sternly, or as sternly as he could. Otabek opened the door slightly and found Yuri curled in a ball on the floor.

“Yura, what’s wrong? Why are you in here?” Otabek asked in a tone that meant business. He wasn’t taking any excuses, and Yuri could see it in his eyes.

“Okay, I’ve felt like shit all day,” Yuri said. There was something about Otabek that made him cave every time and he didn’t know what it was. “I’ve been freezing and I was sure when I came in here I was going to throw up.”

“Yura, come on. Let’s get some medicine and then you can go back to bed, or the couch or wherever you want to sleep.”

“It’s three in the morning and I know we don’t have any medicine that isn’t expired.” Yuri said, and Otabek was about to tell him about the Tylenol, but stopped after he remembered.

“Well, I’ll just have to get some, then.”

“You dumbass. You are not leaving to get me drugs at this hour of the morning. I can wait until the sun’s up, at least,” Yuri said, but the wave of chills that hit him at that moment said otherwise.

“I’m going to see if the CVS around the corner is still open. I’ll be right back, and call me if you need anything.” Otabek said gently, and Yuri nodded. He heard Otabek’s footsteps down the hall to his room, and then he came back with a hoodie for Yuri.

“I’ll be right back, Yura.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Yuri said quietly as Otabek went back down the hall, and he didn’t think he had been loud enough.

Yuri pulled on the hoodie, and realized it was Otabek’s after seeing the sleeves were just a little too long. He walked slowly back to the couch and turned the TV on for background noise, but after fifteen minutes of lying under blankets with his eyes shut, Yuri knew he wasn't going back to sleep any time soon. Turning on a show that was actually entertaining was his only option, but he wasn't in the mood to wait ten minutes for Netflix to decide if the Wifi was working or not. Yuri channel-flipped until he landed on some international house show and tuned out the buyers. He was more interested in the places and buildings themselves, mostly because after living in a small town all his life and moving to a bigger city only a few years ago, the world outside of Yuri’s apparent bubble seemed so much more interesting and exciting. He had always been a little jealous of JJ and Isabella because their channel was based on their travels and the places they got to visit. Yuri was so lost in thinking about all the places he would go if he could that he didn't hear Otabek unlock the door and come in.

“Yuri? You still awake?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m on the couch,” He replied.

“I got some meds. I’ll get some water so you can take them and try to get some sleep.” Otabek said, walking towards the kitchen. He came back with a mug and the bottle.

“Thanks, Beka,” Yuri said, and downed two of the pills.

“Anytime. Now, go to sleep, and wake me up if you need anything,” Otabek said, and went back into his room. Yuri blamed his racing heartbeat on the fever. But he knew that wasn’t the reason it was there.

“Leo?”

“Hey, Yuri. Heard you're sick?”

“Yep. If I leave the bubble of blankets I've made, I'm gonna freeze.”

“That sucks, man. But judging by your text, I'm assuming that's not the reason you're calling.”

“No, it's not. Leo, what do I do? I thought that crush was something that died in my old flat. And now I that I know he might return my feelings, it’s not as bad. But it's still awful.”

“You could tell him? But that's obviously not the best option at the moment,” Leo said, trying to think. There had to be something else that Yuri could do.

“No, it's fine. It’ll blow over. It did last time, so there's no reason that it shouldn't this time,” Yuri said, shifting in his spot on the couch. “Otabek’s out getting food and stuff, so he shouldn't be back for a while. But enough about my shitty emotions. You said you had something you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah, actually. So you remember how the last day of VidCon I walked around with those two vloggers?”

“Yep.”

“Well, I kept in contact with one, and we’ve been Skyping, and I think I like him a bit.”

“What’s his name?” Yuri asked, stretching to grab his laptop. He wanted to investigate. Not stalk. Just see what this guy was like.

“Guang-Hong Ji. He’s honestly the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and it helps that he’s adorable, too.” Leo sounded sheepish.

“Well, if I were you, I’d try to meet face-to-face more often. If it's possible, I mean. But I'd wait to see if the friendship keeps going before saying anything.” Yuri said. “There’s not much else I can think of, at the moment.”

“Well, you are kind of dying right now. Thanks, Yuri. Do you think JJ might have any helpful advice?”

“Advice? Yes. Helpful? Maybe,” Yuri laughed, and Leo chuckled on the other end.

“Well, I’ve kept you long enough. Take a nap or something. Get better.” Leo tried to sound stern, but Yuri could hear the laughter in his voice.

“Thanks, Leo. Good luck.”

“You too. Bye.”

“Bye.” Yuri said, and hung up.