#being very emotional and analytic at the same time is a blessing and a curse...

[haikyuuateer]

time alive || kei tsukishima 

summary: falling in love is one of the most unforgettable feelings in the world. being with the person you love is the best sense of comfort you will ever have. having them in your arms makes both of you feel secure and safe. it’s just the feeling of being alive. (this sort of drabble ig is inspired by the song "time alive," it’s a super good song please check it out ahaha https://youtu.be/PgHXb4zn2qE) (okay if i’m being honest i just listened to it on repeat while writing this because i was emotional)

pairing: kei tsukishima x f!reader

warnings: none other than like one curse word if you consider dammit a curse word also i barely proofread this ahaha sorry

word count: 3.3k 

under the cut to save your tumblr browsing experience hehe

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If Kei Tsukishima were the moon, then you were his sun, lighting up his world.

Of all the people he met you through, he met you through Yachi. With Kiyoko gone, the poor girl was flustered on her own, so you became a team manager alongside her to help her out with babysitting a bunch of boys supporting the boys' volleyball club. It may not have been love at first sight when Kei’s eyes landed on you for the first time, but he felt like you were different than anyone else he had ever spoken to. And he felt a strange warm sensation when you smiled at him, handing him a water bottle. "You did great out there, Tsukishima!" 

It was just a smile. It was just a sentence. What different was it than any other smile or sentence? Any other compliment? What made you so different? 

He always seemed to notice the little things about you. Maybe it was just because of how he was very observant and analytical with a lot of things in his life, but you were someone he could never get out of his mind. He noticed how you had a habit of running your fingers through your hair when you were focused on something. He noticed how you would glance away and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear whenever you were flustered. He noticed how there would be a slight red tint to your ears and cheeks when you were embarrassed. He noticed how that, whenever you laughed or smiled, your eyes seemed to sparkle as if they were a galaxy on their own. He noticed how the simple curl of your rosy lips into a grin could brighten someone’s day. And that one day where you tied your hair into a messy bun, he noticed how the two strands you left by your face shaped it, giving you a softer appearance, and he noticed how the stray strands of hair around your head almost seemed like a halo, as if you were a blessing, or an angel from the heavens.

Whenever your fingertips grazed his hand, whether it was because you handed him a ball or a water bottle, he felt like he could melt. If your fingertips alone were that warm, surely your hands would be warm as well, right? And he was right about that. It was a morning practice on a winter day. He took his hands out of his pockets and tried blowing warm air on them, only to see you in front of him, your gorgeous eyes peering into his, your lips curled into a smile, and your small, warm hands wrapped around his, which were ice cold. "You should get some gloves, Tsukki. What if your hands get so cold that they fall off? We can’t have that happen~" And you giggled. And Kei found it to be one of the most heavenly sounds he had ever heard.

He was lost in the moment until he heard snickering behind him. And he didn’t want to, but he took his hands away from your grasp, thanking you quietly before leaving to change. 

He didn’t know why he started feeling irritated whenever he saw you smile at one of the other guys in the volleyball club. He didn’t know why he had gritted his teeth in frustration when he saw you flash one of the sweetest smiles at Kageyama after handing him a towel. He didn't realize he was practically glaring daggers at you two (mostly Kageyama) until Yamaguchi gently nudged him, smiling. 

"I think you like her, Tsukki. You should ask her out."

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

"Sorry, Tsukki..”

He laid alone on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was exactly 1:38 AM, and he couldn’t fall asleep after hearing what Yamaguchi had told him.

"You should ask her out."

Him? Ask you out? You two talked occasionally, maybe he could consider you a friend, but.. Ask you out? What if it was too sudden?

He frowned after thinking of how sweetly you had smiled at Kageyama that day. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want you to smile at him like that every day. He always felt his heart swell with pride when you would smile at him and cheer after he’d successfully block another team’s spike. To him, it was such a small thing, just him preventing another point from being scored on the opposing side. Why did you always treat every little achievement as the best thing he had ever done? He couldn’t even complain, though.. You kept him going. And as he found himself blocking more and more spikes, he found himself looking right over to you after, and being greeted with that smile, that beautiful smile that made him feel like.. maybe what he did really was amazing, and that he himself was.. worth something. His blocks were worth something. He meant something to you. 

You, on the other hand, had the most PAINFUL crush on this tall french fry. He may have had a cold demeanor compared to the others, and his sarcasm and sass were probably endless, but you just—God dammit, you just loved this boy so much. He wasn’t one to smile often, but when you cheered for him alongside his brother (you insisted that Yachi be the one to sit with the coaches), and he looked up at you and you saw his lips curl into the slightest grin, you swear you felt your heart explode. 

Both you and Kei remember the moment so vividly. The cold stinging your cheeks, the cold breezes that would blow past and whisper into your ears, and the snowflakes gently falling from the sky, adorning your hair, glittering under the street lights. 

Today was the day. 

You had told Yamaguchi a week prior that you had a crush on Kei, and he was all for helping you get the perfect time to confess to him. You gave him permission to get Ennoshita in on the action, who was team captain, and would probably help Yamaguchi get a better excuse to leave practice early so that it would be only you and Kei walking home together. (Little did you know, Ennoshita was fully aware of you and Kei crushing on each other. You two were painfully obvious.) 

You wrapped your scarf loosely around your neck and put your knitted gloves on, then you left the gym with Kei beside you. Normally you stayed behind with Yachi to make sure Kageyama and Hinata actually went home, but whoopdeedoo, turns out Yachi already knew you had a crush on Kei, and immediately shOVed you out of the door so that you would get your chance to confess in private. 

You pulled the edge of your scarf away from your mouth, exhaling a foggy breath into the cold air around the two of you. Your heart was pounding, your cheeks were rosy (totally because of the cold), and your hands were trembling, but it was now going to happen. It’s now or never, that's what you kept trying to tell yourself. 

You walked ahead and stopped in front of him, turning to look at him, staring into his eyes. "Tsukki." You hardly called him that, because you respected that it was a nickname that Yamaguchi had for him specifically, not you. 

The boy noticed that you had said his name and took his headphones off, looking down at you. "What is it?" Holy crap, he responded.

You swallowed nervously, then stepped a bit closer to him. Then another bit closer to him. You shakily reached towards him, went up on your tippy toes (can’t blame you, the dude’s pretty tall), then clutched the sides of his sleeves, staring into his golden-brown eyes. You could practically hear your own heart pounding in your ears, your hands were shaking again, but it was too late to go back. "I.."

No.. No. Why now? The words were caught in your throat. You found yourself struggling to speak. You couldn’t speak. Your lips were still parted, you were still clutching onto his sleeves, and he was still looking down at you, waiting for you to continue. You almost felt like melting under his gaze. 

"I.. I like you, Tsukki. A lot." Your voice broke at the end. You pursed your lips, then continued to speak. "I just.. I just can’t stay quiet about anymore. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I j—"

You had lost him at "I like you." He pulled you closer to him and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to your lips, closing his eyes. He felt you tense up in his grasp at first before relaxing, letting go of his sleeves and practically melting into the kiss. In contrast to the harsh, bitter cold around you two, this kiss was warm, and he was warm. You reached up and gently wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, deepening the kiss. It almost felt like a dream, but you knew it was real, and he was real, and he felt the same way you did, right?

Finally, Kei was the first one to pull away. You opened your eyes, meeting his again, and smiled. It was that sweet smile, the one Kei loved so much, the one that made him feel like he was alive all over again. "Does that give you a good enough answer?" He asked, and he smiled. 

You felt your heart skip a beat, and your cheeks probably reddened even more. "Yes," You breathed out, before pulling him into another kiss. 

————————

After that day, you thought Tsukki was going to keep the relationship a secret. He just seemed like he would want to at first, so you just kept things quiet when the two of you were around other people. When it was just the two of you, this boy was crazily cuddly. He loved giving you kisses on your neck because he knew how ticklish you were, and it made his heart skip a beat whenever he would wake up with you in his arms, because wow, he was dating you, probably the most amazing girl in the whole entire world. wow this boy is absolutely smitten with you

You really fell into believing that your relationship would always be a secret until one day, just another day of practice, when you handed him a towel. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss before taking the towel, giving you a small pat on the head, and walking away.

What. Did he just do that.

The gym was silent for at least three seconds before erupting into chaos. 

"EEEeEeEHhHhhh??!?!?!?!"

You couldn’t make out the words everyone had been incoherently screaming. Hinata had already pulled you into a protective hug, screaming at Tsukki ("YOU CAN’T JUST KISS GIRLS RANDOMLY LIKE THAT, TSUKISHIMA!! omg Y/N are you okay did he hurt you it’s okay i’ll protect you here we can go wash your face"), Nishinoya and Tanaka were praising him for having been the first one out of them all to get a girlfriend, the first years were confused but nonetheless surprised that the “cold one” was dating you, Kageyama.exe has stopped working, Ennoshita, Kinoshita (he knew too???), Yamaguchi, and Yachi all winked at you, and you saw Yamaguchi flash a thumbs up as well. You swear you saw Takeda sigh and pass Ukai some money, too.

————————

Before you knew it, your and Kei’s third year had come and gone, and you two were graduating.

Everyone was piled into the auditorium, students were being called up one at a time to shake hands with their teachers, vice principal, and principal, and receive their diploma. 

Kei heard your name get called out. He had wished he had been sitting next to you, then, but you were practically on the other side of the auditorium. He wanted to at least hold your hand until then, and then smile proudly at you as you stood up and raced up to get your diploma. He wanted to see that bright look in your eyes as you sat down next to him again, staring at your diploma in your awe, as if you never thought you were going to make it. But you did. You made it, and he did too.

He watched as you walked up, up onstage, shaking hands with all your teachers. He saw you linger after you shook hands with Takeda. He didn’t know what you two were saying, but you talked with him and bowed before going to get your diploma. And as your diploma was handed to you, you looked at Kei, and you smiled. Your eyes met, and you giggled to yourself when you saw him blush and look away. When Kei was called to receive his diploma, you smiled lovingly at him the whole time he was onstage, and you cheered with Yamaguchi, Hinata, and Yachi once he got his diploma. 

More people received their diplomas, and then that was it. You finished high school. You made it. 

You stayed behind with Yamaguchi, Kei, Kageyama, Hinata, and Yachi. You all sat in the chairs left behind after the graduation ceremony and reminisced over old times, like when Hinata somehow managed to serve into the back of Kageyama’s head again, Yamaguchi, the beloved team captain, got called "dad" by one of the first years, that one time Yachi helped Kageyama pin his hair back so that it wouldn’t bother him during practice, and everyone didn’t tell him that it was actually a frilly red bow until after practice, etc. etc. 

The six of you left the auditorium as a group. You trailed behind and checked a message from your mom on your phone, only to let out a squeal of delight. You made it into your dream college. Everyone stopped to look back at you, and you walked up to them, showing the picture of the acceptance letter that your mom had sent you.

"I made it into my dream college, guys."

Everyone immediately broke into smiles and squished you into a hug (well, except for Kei and Kageyama). You couldn’t help but cry of joy. You had the best boyfriend ever, you made it through high school, and you made it into your dream college. 

————————

You and Kei were both laying in his bed. It was the same night as the graduation ceremony. After hanging out with everyone else, you decided to go home with him. He had his back to you, and was on his phone. You tugged on the back of his shirt a bit and he rolled over, looking at you. "Hm?"

"I’m leaving to go to college next week."

"Mhm."

"I’m going to be hours away from you. Almost.. Almost across the entire country."

"Mmhm."

You frowned. "I won’t be able to see you every day. Or every week. Maybe not even.." You trailed off and sighed. "I could.. I could just go to college here, so that I could be with you. I mean, I did want to go to that college, but I’d rather stay here with you—"

Kei gave you a peck on the lips to shut you up. "Y/N. Don’t be dumb."

You pouted.

"You’ve been dying to go to that college ever since I first met you. I don’t want to hold you back from doing something you’ve had your heart set on for years."

"But.. Kei..."

"Go to the college, Y/N. This is a once in a lifetime chance for you, and I want you to be happy and go there."

"But I’ll miss you so much.."

"I’ll call you every day and every night." He cupped your cheek, then ran his fingers through your hair, twirling a strand around his finger. "I’ll text you, too, and you can take as many of my hoodies as you like."

You smiled. "I like the sound of that."

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and hugged you close to him. "I love you, Y/N."

Your eyes widened, then you hugged Kei tightly, burying your face in his chest. You knew he loved him, and you knew he cared about you. Times like this were when he was probably most affectionate— You knew he wasn’t all for showing affection while you two were around other people, and you were okay with that. But the sound of him telling you made you feel the same way you did back when he kissed you for the first time, and you loved how he could always make you feel that way with just a few words and an affectionate gesture. 

But you only had a week left of cuddling him like this— No, not even a week. You were going to have to spend at least two days on packing, and one day to hang out with your friends for the last time before leaving for college, and then that would be it. 

And the first tear slipped from your eye, immediately soaking into Kei’s shirt. And then another, and then they wouldn’t stop flowing. You curled up against him, practically sobbing into his chest, and he stayed there with you, right by your side, holding you in his arms until the two of you fell asleep.

————————

The day finally came. The day that you anticipated, dreaded, and wished for, all at once. You tightly hugged your mother and watched with tears in your eyes as she walked away. She brought you to the airport, but she had to go to work straight after, so all your tears were shed during the ride to the airport.

Or so you thought. 

You looked up at Kei after you watched your mother walk away. Your bottom lip quivered, and then you hugged him tightly, the tears flowing once more. Out of all the places in the world, you felt safe the most in his arms. You didn’t want to leave. You really, really, didn’t want to leave. You let out a small sob when you felt Kei’s arms gently wrap around your waist and hug you closer. If anything, that made you want to leave even less, now. 

You finally let go of him and stepped back, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve, or rather, his sleeve. Yes, you were wearing one of his hoodies, and yes, you had two more packed in your suitcase. You sniffled and looked at Kei again, your eyes still glossy. 

"I’m really going to miss you."

"Uh huh."

"You better keep your promise of calling me every day."

"Mhm."

"Don’t cheat on me."

"Actually, I was gonna go make out with Yamaguchi after you left."

You chuckled and playfully punched his arm. "Yeah, and I’m actually going to visit my fiancé in Paris, sorry."

"Whoops." Kei grinned, and you smiled back at him.

"I have to go, now."

"I know."

"I love youuuu." You went up on your tippy toes and booped his nose before grabbing your suitcase. "I’ll call you when my flight lands, okay?"

"Okay.."

You turned around and started to leave. One step, then another—

"Wait! Y/N, you forgot something."

You looked back at Kei. "Huh?"

He walked up to you, cupped your cheeks, then kissed you.

You smiled and put your free hand over his, softly kissing back. 

Aren't you two just the cheesiest couple ever?

But like all other things do, the kiss came to an end, and you walked away from the person you loved the most, and then you were on a plane, going farther, farther, and farther away from the people you loved. You thought you would be sadder, but you weren’t. You knew that Kei would still love you, and call you every day, and pull you into the tightest hug and pepper your face with kisses whenever you visited, and probably send you memes at 3 am because he just missed you that much and needed an excuse to text you.

And you just knew.. This was the feeling of being alive.

[phantasmagoriaoriginals]

1,2 and 4 for Ivory, Lilith, Heaven and Luna please!

I... read the 4 as a 3.... and didn’t notice until I’d written it all.... >.> Oops... Too late now, I guess, so please resend this with the 4 if you’d like!

. . . 

Ivory

1. A trait they have too much of

Ivory definitely has too much anxiety. She’s a very nervous person who struggles to contain her fears around others. Her anxiety most stands out in social situations. Even though she’s capable of being very chatty and friendly, she tends to stifle herself when around people she doesn’t know just because she’s too anxious to try. Ivory wants friends and connections, but she doesn’t know how to get them. She’s extremely sweet when people break through her shell, but most will only see the parts of her that are hidden by the fearful shroud she keeps up to protect herself. It’s hard for her to open up and allow herself to get close to others. 

2. A trait they don’t have enough of

Tact. Ivory definitely doesn’t have enough tact. When it comes to interacting with others, she can be far too blunt and insensitive. Despite her massive intelligence, Ivory struggles with knowing what to say and when. Social situations are definitely her weak point, and it shows. She frequently winds up saying things with the worst timing, striking nerves that she shouldn’t, or making people angry with unintentional mistakes. This is part of the reason why Ivory is so nervous about social interaction; she never knows when she’s going to slip up and say something that’s wrong. She doesn’t really work on this trait either, instead telling herself that it’s just the way she is and that she’ll never be able to make it better. 

3. A trait they express in the wrong way

When it comes to things coming out the wrong way, her care for others is one of the biggest issues. When she likes someone, Ivory cares a lot, but she still has a hard time behaving properly and maintaining solid relationships. She always winds up being too hyperactive, saying something that she shouldn’t, or pushing too far when she wants to interact with someone. She can be too excitable and hyperactive, get too worked up over little things, and forget that other people don’t have as wide of comfort zones as she does. Even though she wants friends dearly, she has a hard time behaving in ways that make people want to stick around. She’s much too socially ignorant for her own good. 

Lilith 

1. A trait they have too much of

Lilith has far too much negativity and resentment. She’s the kind of massively-pessimistic person who hates the world around her a lot more than she should. She can be very very vengeful, something which has led to violent or harmful actions in the past. Overall, she sees the world in a very twisted, negative light-- rarely finding good in anything. Aside from her flowers and the moon, Lilith has trouble seeing worth or good traits in anything around her. People frustrate her and make her angry. She hates most of those who she has to interact with, and her bitterness only continues to grow as she lives in a world where she’s mistreated by others and learns to hate the world around her even more. 

2. A trait they don’t have enough of

Lilith doesn’t have enough spine to stand up for herself. As in, because she doesn’t care much for her own wellbeing, she’ll allow others to abuse her. At the same time that she’s terrified of being someone’s pawn forever, she can’t work up the courage or willpower to fight back when people try to use her. She’ll heal. Her feelings don’t matter. People are bound to hurt her no matter what she does. It’s thoughts like those that drag Lilith down and tear apart her view of the world even further. She’s been abused by so many that she struggles to see there being any point in fighting back. Her childhood bullies did enough damage to her and her self-confidence that she’s given up on ever being able to stand up to anyone in a way that matters. She’s a pathetic person who’s no good at anything but tending to her plants, and it makes sense that those around her only want to use her for their own benefit. 

3. A trait they express in the wrong way

Her self-control is both a blessing and a curse. Aside from when strong emotions get the better of her, Lilith is the kind of person who has perfect control over her actions. She rarely says or does anything without thinking it over first, and while this is good for keeping her out of trouble, it also means that she has a major tendency to overthink things. It’s hard for her not to consider possible conclusions to her actions until she’s panicking over what a single sentence could do to her in the long run. It’s good for her to think things through, of course, but Lilith really does take it too far. Overthinking just gives her anxiety, and being too reserved doesn’t do her friend situation any good. She’s polite and respectful, yes, but it means that on the inside... her head is always full of how things could go wrong. 

Heaven

1. A trait they have too much of

Heaven has too much intelligence for her own good. Because of how smart she is, she’s isolated from the people around her just because they don’t operate on her wavelength. It’s her brilliant mind that contributes in part to her strangeness... although plenty of it is just nature as well. Heaven tends to see the world around her in a very unusual light; one where things don’t make the same kind of sense that they do to others. She’s remarkably bright, but that also means that she’s thinking in completely different ways than those around her, and that those different thoughts can make her oblivious to things that are obvious to “normal” people. Her mind is always in a very different place than other people’s which is a lot of what makes her seem so spacey, unapproachable, and strange. Her morbid nature also partly comes from the fact that she knows so much about the hard facts and reality of the world, which twists her way of seeing things. 

2. A trait they don’t have enough of

A trait that Heaven distinctly lacks is a basic concept of social skills and personal space. She rarely gets close to people, but when she does, it comes with a clinginess and level of attachment that can be suffocating and disturbing. Heaven can and will get so far into other people’s personal bubbles that they’ll be filled with the urge to shove her away. Her social skills when it comes to what she says are just as bad. Morbid and inappropriate things constantly fall from her mouth, and she doesn’t seem to care too much whether or not she upsets others. Heaven is always in a world of her own-- one where saying disturbing things that make people uncomfortable is perfectly normal and acceptable, and one where getting far too close to the people she likes is a valid way of showing affection. She completely lacks a concept of behaving normally. 

3. A trait they express in the wrong way

Heaven’s ability to analyze both people and the things around her tends to come out wrong. She’s extremely perceptive and analytical, and despite her utter lack of social skills, she tends to be way too good at judging people’s intentions and feelings. In a way, this trait makes her jaded. She’s so good at seeing people’s motives that she’s come to see human emotion in an almost robotic way. People often operate in the same ways, and with Heaven’s tendency to pick up on patterns, it’s caused a rift where she can see other people as merely following the patterns that she’s observed. She’s much too logical when it comes to interacting with others, and also has a sort of distance that means she struggles to interact with other people as if they’re beings that can think and operate on their own. Between her own strange mind and what she’s seen of humanity, there’s a disconnect between people being people, and humans just being made from the same mold. 

Luna

1. A trait they have too much of

Luna definitely has too much jealousy. Her envy for others is one of the major things that defines her personality, and that’s not a good thing. She’s capable of being extremely shallow and petty, and she tends to lash out at others over stupid things just because she gets envious of them having more “special” lives than she does. When others have had easy or interesting lives, Luna gets jealous quickly. She hates seeing people who are better off than she is, which leads to another less-than-ideal trait of hers; her mean streak. Luna can be quite the bully when she’s irritated enough, and although she rarely dares to show it outright, she’s prone to doing things to hurt people purely out of spite and dislike for her own situation. She gets frustrated easily and takes it out on those around her. 

2. A trait they don’t have enough of

When it comes to things that are lacking, the thing that stands out with Luna is her ability to be genuine. She always puts on the perfect, “girl next door” face when around others, concealing her real feelings in place of being the cheerful, friendly girl that everyone loves. Luna wants people to like her, so she behaves in ways that will get that-- regardless of it’s true to her actual personality or not. She wants to be loved and “special”, so she makes herself act like the heroines in her storybooks who always have people by their side. She has trouble ever showing her real self to people, keeps her actual feelings deeply buried and hidden from those around her, and always has a deep-seated sense of dissatisfaction because she can’t open up. For all she wants to be loved, Luna can’t bring herself to be genuine enough to be liked for who she truly is. 

3. A trait they express in the wrong way

Something that Luna tends to struggle with expressing is her protectiveness with others. It rarely comes out, but she can actually be very kind and caring when a situation calls for it. It’s always a reluctant kind of thing where Luna resents doing it at first, but when she starts looking after those who are younger and weaker than her, she gets invested pretty quickly. Despite her tendency to lash out at and be jealous of those she thinks are better than her, Luna can do a lot of flickering between kindness and generally being a jerk. However, she struggles to hold a steady personality with a single person. Even when she opens up and cares about and for someone, she has a hard time maintaining her kindness when she gets frustrated. Equally, she can have trouble maintaining a grudge when someone she hates is truly suffering. Her inconsistency is something that always comes out wrong. 

[bagwormmulti]

Ramblings on Oswald Baskervilles Personality/Feelings/Relationships

this got way long so I’m gonna toss it under a cap

To understand Oswald’s relationships, we have to first take a look at Oswald himself. Oswald’s personality type is INTP; The Logician. The thing about these particular people is that INTPs analyze everything. They’re the types of people who get lost in thought, and in doing so may accidentally come off seeming cold or detached when actually it could be quite the opposite. It’s just that they are adept at shutting out the world around them when they are focused on their own thoughts, and thus they become oblivious to everything else.

 INTP’s tend to have a habit of correcting others and being extremely precise, to the point of seeming pedantic. But this trait comes from the fact that INTP’s hold themselves to that high standard of correctness as well. An INTP can be extremely concerned with the idea of impending failure and they will spend time checking and rechecking their accuracy and second-guessing themselves over their decisions.  At times the argument they are making may be an attempt to convince themself as much as it is to convince the other person. 

Related to this, when an INTP’s ideals and beliefs come into question they have a habit of digging their heels in and becoming harsh and inflexible. Most of the time when they are incorrect it is simply due to a lack of correct context or an overlooked detail. Their logic is almost always sound. Thus, it becomes much harder for them to realize where they may be wrong without something to provide them with a new context. 

Now you may be wondering what these personality traits have to do with Oswald’s relationships. The answer is everything. We see that even from the time before the Baskervilles, Oswald has been caring for and protecting Lacie. They had only had each other for so long, and with an INTP’s habit of fixation, it’s easy to see how Oswald would fixate on the only other person in his life and shut out the rest of the world around him. Up until Levi entered his life, Oswald’s world was only him and Lacie. He was her protector and caretaker, and in turn, she was his strength. And this continues into when they become Baskervilles because they know what’s coming one day. And Oswald does what Oswald’s brain is programmed to do.  He fixates. He analyzes. He goes over everything in his head time after time dreading the day as it draws nearer and nearer knowing that he’s found no alternate route that seems better to take. He seems cold and distant on the outside because of how much of his brainpower is being used internally. He continues to be his sister’s protector, and he does what he can to make her happy. And throughout it all, he draws his strength from her. From the fact he has to be strong for her, because if she isn’t going to break down over the situation then he can’t either. And he marvels at her strength. The strength she has to be able to show her emotions and feel them fully without being consumed by them, and the strength she has to love and forgive the world that condemned her. He never managed to find that same strength. And when the day comes he is given a choice, love over duty. 

He never quite manages to forgive himself either for choosing his role as Glen over her and choosing duty over love. He blames himself for her being born how she is. He blames himself for not finding a better way.

 He experiences a meaningful loss for the first time, and by his own hands, the person who was once his entire world is suddenly gone. He tries to singularly bear that loss. 

Now at the time of this loss, others had managed to strong-arm their way into his tiny world. But these others were also colored by his relationship with Lacie and his hyper-focused (and outwardly oblivious) nature.  Shortly after losing Lacie, he begins to lose one of the only two other people he has in the world. Unlike Lacie, Levi deteriorates in front of Oswald. He watches him begin to rot, and while Oswald will always have Levi with him as Glen Baskerville, and his feelings for the man become complicated after learning what he did to the abyss, this is still a hard thing to experience. Within a short time, two-thirds of Oswald’s entire world is gone.

And then there’s that final person. Oswald has never and will never understand Jack. He’s an utter mystery to the raven-haired man, and that’s what draws Oswald in. He has something to analyze in Jack Vessalius, something to puzzle and logic at hoping that one day it will reveal it’s secrets. When Jack begins to come around for Lacie, Oswald spends time with him trying to find his depth. He’s new and he’s interesting and he’s a vital part of Oswald’s world before Oswald is even aware of the fact that he let Jack in. They are each other’s first and only friends. Oswald can have with Jack something that he cannot have with either Lacie or Levi. He can be vulnerable. He doesn’t have to prove that he is the strong big brother who will always be there when Lacie needs him. Or that he’s the competent young valet ready to take on Levi’s legacy. For the first time, with Jack, Oswald can just be Oswald. And he’s interested to know what just Oswald is like. 

When the hurt of losing Lacie is fresh and all too real he secretly hopes that Jack will blame him just as much as he blames himself. He’s struggling and he wants to be punished for the wrongs he committed. Receiving none of that is somehow a blessing and a curse. 

When Jack returns to the mansion it’s a relief. He lost Lacie. He knew he was losing Levi. Knowing that Jack was safe was the one tiny shred of his old life he still had intact. It’s blissful and safe and one of the few things he has left of the past that he loved. 

And that’s why it hurts so much when Jack suggests bringing Lacie back. Oswald realizes things will never, could never, be the same again. He’s not healed from losing Lacie, he still blames himself, and he can’t believe that Jack doesn’t realize that if bringing Lacie back was truly an option he would have done it by now. He lives his life in pain and guilt, and he can’t believe his friend can’t see how much he’s hurting and how he wants her back more than anyone. 

If he’s being honest, he knows that Jack is broken now. He knows his mind isn’t the same. He’s too observant of the people in his bubble and analytical not to. But whether it’s conscious or not, once again Oswald is faced with the choice between Love and Duty. And this time, without even noticing it, he makes a different choice.

And somehow it’s wrong again. 

Oswald who has spent his life second-guessing himself and striving for greatness (or at the very least correctness) has now made two spectacularly wrong decisions and is literally watching his world crumble around him. And while he wants to stop the tragedy it’s still hard for him to want to hurt Jack. He still wants Jack by his side, even up until the end. 

I feel very firmly that with how hard it is to actually get into Oswald’s world it is, and how fixated he is on everything, Oswald is very much a one love kind of person. He falls in love exactly once, an intense and all-encompassing love. And if it fails or fades he never loves again because nothing could ever be that again. To me that love is Jack. Their pasts and futures are irrevocably intertwined and even if it’s fated to end badly it is still fate. Oswald loves Jack and he isn’t sure what that means. But he knows that Jack makes him feel something.  Jack was his weakness. Slipping in like tasteless poison and making him feel and making him give up parts of himself that he had carefully cultivated and all around just disarming him. And just like with Lacie and with his grief he isn’t sure how to show it without letting it consume him. 

When he returns and takes over Leo’s consciousness one hundred years later, Oswald turns all that passionate love that had been stewing within him into hatred and anger. He sees all the wrongs he has done and all he wants to do is correct them. He falls into the trap of what I mentioned above. He overlooks details and takes things out of context and comes up with a wild plan to fix all of this, to undo all this love business and choose for duty as he should. And when others present better solutions he grows stubborn and digs his heels in even when he knows that they are right. But in the end, he can’t overcome his true feelings. And when he finally accepts them and comes to terms with it all, that’s when he leaves. Oswald’s life is shaped entirely by his two greatest loves, his two only loves, Lacie and Jack. I hope wherever their souls dissipated to they all three get to reunite.  One thing that I am sure of, one way or another Oswald will fall to Jack every time. Because Oswald is not a strong man, especially not without Lacie at his side. And Jack is his weakness. 

[johnbernsteinx]

— TASK 002

GIVE ME A SIGN.

Positive Keywords: lively, confident, obstinate, colorful, warm, intelligent

Negative Keywords: dominating, loud, egoistic, arrogant

august 9th 1983 • leo sun • leo moon • virgo rising 

LEO SUN

The sun in Leo people are loving and generous. They make good leaders because they are willing to take risks.

Because Leos are ruled by the Sun in astrology, they are the most passionate. They are also warm and intense when the Sun is in their sign. As natural-born leaders, they are bold and confident, and their charisma is felt by all. They shine bright and emit plenty of energy, just like their ruling planet.

A Sun in Leo loves being the center of attention, just as the other planets revolve around the Sun. Leos are intelligent, charming and witty, and they love a good conversation. They are active and always on the lookout for a unique adventure, challenge, or recreational activity. They work hard, they play hard, and they love hard.

The Sun in Leo sign people will take the reins and fix any problem, whether you want them to or not. This kind of overbearing nature can be tiresome to those who are not as intense as their Leo companion. But Leos always have other people’s best intentions at heart, which makes it difficult to be angry with them.

And that’s good, for if you push the buttons of a Leo the claws will come out and you will hear their thunderous roar! But if you can back down and stroke their ego sufficiently enough to remain on their good side, it will be sunny skies all the time. And if you show them your loyalty, you will get theirs back ten-fold. Faithful and honest, they know no other way to be in a relationship with people.

FRIENDSHIPS

Leo is generous, faithful and a truly loyal friend, born with a certain dignity and commitment to individual values. 

Born with a need to help others, they will do so even if it takes a lot time and energy. Strong and reliable, this individual has the ability to appeal to almost everyone and has the energy to host celebrations and different events with people that bring out the best in them. They are rarely alone, for interactions with others give them the sense of self-esteem and awareness they need, but could have trouble finding friends able to keep pace and follow the high energy they carry everywhere they go.

IN LOVE

This is a man who falls in love in an incredibly warm and cuddly way.

Just think of a tamed lion, purring and making room to sit in somebody’s lap. Love will only strengthen his ego and he will truly enjoy the chase of his “prey”. Since he belongs to fixed signs of the zodiac, he might have trouble letting go of relationships that are outdated, holding on to shreds of emotion instead of searching for a new partner. This can take away a lot of his energy and he should always be free to feel the same warm and cuddly sensation that makes his heart jump. He is the king after all, and the true king has the biggest heart.

LEO MOON

Depending on other positions in the chart, Moon in Leo people are not necessarily outgoing. When they feel comfortable, they do like being the center of attention. That is, they like being in the “spotlight” in the comfort of their own homes and with family and friends. They enjoy entertaining others, and often take on the role of comic.

Lunar Leos often feel a need to organize, and even control, their families and friends. They have an inner mission to set things right, and generally like to oversee the goings-on in their little circle.

This is a rather creative position of the Moon. At the very least, Moon in Leo people want to create and entertain. They can be rather lazy at times, and a little bossy too. Generally, though, they have a deep need to treat others fairly and justly.

Lunar Leos require lots and lots of love and care in order to function well in the world. When they feel slighted, these people can be dramatic in their emotional displays. When their pride has been hurt, they are given to big scenes and sulking. This rarely happens in public, however. Lunar Leos are far too concerned about their image to make splashy scenes outside the comfort of their own homes. In public, they prefer to take things in dignified ways. At home, however, they’re given to big displays of emotional drama. These scenes generally don’t last too long, however. Lunar Leos are often personally popular folk who are valued for their integrity and strong sense of justice.

Moon in Leo folk are very proud, and they are rarely happy to follow orders. Leo is a Fixed sign, and it can be difficult to change a Lunar Lion’s mind or to change up plans on them at the last moment. They need time to adjust to schedule changes.

Generally, it is easy to reason with a Lunar Lion. Appealing to their well-developed sense of fairness usually works well.

VIRGO RISING

If you’re a Virgo rising, people who meet you may describe you as organized, put together, and reliable. Friends often go to you in a crisis. You know how to deal with things in order of importance and are a natural caregiver. Being an earth sign, you are also connected to nature and probably love animals. You know this planet is precious and that we have to be cognizant of how we use its resources.

The characteristic of this sign combination is the will to project an irreproachable self-image and to display humble and withdrawn manners. Your Leo Sun defines your inner self which is marked by the sense of honour, courage, and loyalty towards a person, an ideal, as well as to yourself.

Owing to your Virgo Ascendant, when you meet people for the first time, you are cautious and reserved, as if you feared that opening up too much to the outer world might upset the balance of your life. You are fault-finding, and your eagle eye immediately spots the flaws in lines of reasoning or in people. With your analytical and provident mind, you come across as a very serious person at first glance.

However, when people get to know you better, they understand that your Leo Sun is ready to roar, and they discover your daring and easy-going nature tinged with aristocracy.

They are ideal perfectionists who are extremely disciplined and organized in life. They are blessed with exceptional communication skills and are extremely sensitive and emotional beings. It’s very difficult for a Virgo Rising sign to take life as it comes— they will analyze anything and everything down to the minutest detail.

While it is this observational power that makes them great researchers and scientists, it also becomes their biggest curse when they constantly worry and criticize their own moves— every one of them. They will constantly doubt their decisions and remain self-critical. Matters are further complicated by the fact that they often keep their feelings to themselves and will not open up to others which makes understanding them tremendously difficult.

Organization and systematic approach are critical and assume prime importance. Perfection is everything: at work, in relationships, and in life! Wearing neat and tidy clothes and being well-groomed is an important consideration in their life.

[goodvibesatpeace]

Astrology: Opposite Zodiac Signs

All of us have a star sign, which means we all have our opposite sign of the zodiac too. Your opposite sign will also be ruled by a different element which means you will be very different people yet will often equal each other out. When it comes to your personality traits, what one of you lacks, the other one will bring to the friendship or partnership. Many of these opposite signs could experience an argument or two since you can clash in opinions and you will be wired differently. It’s the tale of chalk and cheese, which can either work well with your efforts or it could make you both want to give up.

This can also be a tricky situation if you have a parent that is your opposite sign. They might bring you up to be like them however when you grow older, you might not be like them at all. For example, a Pisces parent is ruled by the element of Water, meaning they can be a very emotional person who tends to take things personally. This can be really hard if there is Virgo child because they have a blunt way of thinking which feel be like salt in the wound for Pisces, even if it’s tough love.

An opposite type of relationship can be excellent for business ventures. At first, you might believe it’s the best idea to start up a business with someone who thinks and acts similar to you, however, this might not be the case whatsoever. If one sign is very analytical and practical whereas the other is creative and emotional, your business could have all the positive traits it needs to bring the two of you success. If two people are creative, your business might discover problems with keeping control of money and organisational activities in the very early days, which could put a massive brick wall in front of where you both want to go. If you work well with someone, don’t be surprised if they are your opposite sign!

Having someone close to you who is of the opposite sign can actually be an incredible gift because of how much you can learn from each other’s traits. One of you might need to learn to be more compassionate whereas the other person might need to learn how to be dominant in life. Whatever the case is, the aim of the game is to find a balance between the two of you, regardless what type your relationship is.

Aries/Libra

Aries is ruled by the Masculine planet of Mars whereas Libra is ruled by the Feminine planet of Venus, which makes this couple extremely different from one another yet a partnership that just clicks. With two elements of fire and air, they work well because Libra will never extinguish the fiery attitude that Aries prides themselves on. Libra is a free spirit who doesn’t like to feel pressured or trapped, which is an excellent deal for independent Aries who also wants their personal space.

These two can go for months without seeing each other yet will never be bitter about it. They understand that life often gets in the way and when they meet up again, it will feel as if no time has passed. These two can spend hours chatting to each other over dinner, filling each other in on the different things that have been going on.

Aries strive to do better in their lives and a Libra will like to go with the wind but it’s the fiery side they admires because when an Aries goes for their dreams, it will inspire them to do the same. Libras are commonly guilty of being indecisive and an Aries will help them make important decisions that will bring positivity to their lives, such as going for a new job. It’s a similar situation to having a gym buddy because Aries is the motivator and Libra is the follower who likes being shown the right way.

Taurus/Scorpio

Taurus is an Earth sign therefore when they meet Water sign Scorpio, their relationship can become very involved yet problems can crop up from the word go. Both signs are fixed which means neither will want to back down when it comes to what they believe in. They think that their way is the right way and don’t like being told otherwise. A Taurus in an argument will back up their point with stats and facts where Scorpio will throw in their understanding of emotion and how people communicate, which can baffle dominant Taurus. However after some time, these two signs will have a mutual understanding of each other and the partnership can be a perfect one. Both intelligent yet in completely different ways, they make incredible business partners and friends that can take on the world!

In romantic relationships, Taurus will say exactly how they feel, which is great because Scorpio is an emotional and charming water sign that doesn’t like to beat around the bush. You will both know exactly where you stand, which should take silly games out of the equation altogether. Whatever you do, at the beginning simply acknowledge that it’s a blessing that the two of you are different instead of seeing it as a curse that can stop the formation of a brilliant relationship.

Gemini/Sagittarius

This Air and Fire sign combination is one packed full of adventure and the two of you will rarely experience a dull moment. Full of ideas and spontaneity, it’s easy for the both of you to come up with activities to take part in together to escape the stresses of daily life. With late night debates and talks about everything under the sun, these two can have very similar interests such as movies, music and travel which they can both enjoy together.

Sagittarius is quick thinking, quick to act at the drop the hat and absolutely hates waiting around for others to make a decision about something. It’s go, go, go with their lives and living life in the fast lane means they always have something interesting going on. If something doesn’t work for a Sagittarius, they’ll quickly move on without a second thought, exploring different ideas with a positive attitude. Gemini admires this about them because they do have a very similar frame of mind however it can take Gemini a little longer to catch up to them, which is ok!

The truth is, even though these two are opposite signs, they sure can have a lot of fun together and have the ability to keep each other young at heart, which paves the way for a fantastic friendship, relationship or business partnership together.

Cancer/Capricorn

With Water sign Cancerand Earth sign Capricorn, they work together like salt and pepper because of how complimentary they are for each other, even if they are 180 degrees apart. At first, they might not believe you, regardless of how much persuade them to give it a chance. They might meet and decide to tease and make fun of each other so much that it makes their blood boil. Can you remember what they say about people who tease each other? It turns out that deep down, they could be aching for each other’s attention, which could lead to an extremely fiery relationship neither of them has ever experienced before. Capricorn is all about working hard whereas Cancer is about their close friends and family which means their priorities can be very different. This can cause disruption because if Capricorn is working late night, they could wind up feeling neglected. Capricorn could feel disrespected because all they are trying to do is provide for them, which a lot of the time does mean sacrifice. The two of you will have to sit down and go through how you feel so you can have an understanding about how this relationship can work. Cancer will have to stop taking things personally, but Capricorn will have to acknowledge that they need attention. After this is sorted, you can move forward towards a harmonious time together.

Leo/Aquarius

When it comes to opposites attracting, it’s the exact case for this and they couldn’t be any more different. Fire needs air and Visa-Versa, which is why these two work well when they are trying to help each other. When a Leois in a friendship, creative partnership or relationship they will want those words of affirmation and validation to feel that they are valued, or else they will feel rubbish. For many signs, this can be seen as self-absorbed and annoying however for open minded Aquarius, they are very good at sharing how they feel and doing so in a positive way that motivates others. If a Leo unexpectedly has a little self-doubt, an Aquarius will say, “Oh, don’t be silly, your great! You know you are!” and so on, which will perk them right back up. It will be the Leo’s job to return the favour because even though an Aquarius will look after others, if it starts being unappreciated, they will eventually pipe up about it and find it difficult to let go.

Communication is key with these two and once you both understand the role you both will play, the quicker you can start having a great time together.

Virgo/Pisces

As explained in the beginning, these two put into the partnership what the other person lacks. Virgo is ruled by Mercury and the element of Earth, which means they are very down to earth and hardworking whereas Pisces is ruled by Neptune and the element of Water, they bring the imagination and originality to the mix. Think of them both combining to create a magnificent cake with Virgo acting as the main ingredients and Pisces acting as the icing and decoration. These two work incredibly well together and can help teach each other to grow organically.

A Virgo can be seen as a closed book however, this is often because in the past they have given their time to someone who hasn’t done the same, therefore they want to be cautious about doing this again. Pisces is a sign who believes in true love so if they meet a Virgo, they will remind this Earth sign to throw caution to the wind and give it a go anyway. Living in the moment is more important to a Pisces than worrying about it not working out in the future. Virgo can also teach Pisces to be mindful of others that could be taking advantage of their kind-hearted nature. Pisces could be none the wiser and might need to smarten up a little bit. With these two, both help each other and act as the mentor neither of them ever had.

Much love to all... go in peace my friends

[archivist-bones]

❝ cause we live in a house of mirrors / we see our fears and everything ❞

𝖖 𝖚 𝖔 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘

“To abstain from politics is, in itself, a political attitude.” - Simone de Beauvoir, Prime of Life

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” - Abraham Lincoln

“The presence of evil was something to be first recognized, then dealt with, survived, outwitted, triumphed over.” - Toni Morrison, Sula

“Take your foot out of the graveyard, they are busy being dead.” - Anne Sexton, A Curse Against Elegies

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bare to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“I can, with one squinted eye, take it all as a blessing.” - Flannery O’Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O’Connor

“And perhaps there is a limit to the grieving that the human heart can do. As when one adds salt to a tumbler of water, there comes a point where simply no more will be absorbed.” - Sarah Waters, The Little Stranger

𝖇 𝖆 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈

NAME:  Amelia Susan Bones NICKNAMES:  Amy, chicken little [ Edgar, Gideon ], bossy Bones, bubala [ sweetie, dear, used by Amelia’s maternal grandparents ], little Susie [ used by her paternal grandparents ]. AGE: 23 BIRTHDAY:  December 28th, 1957 GENDER: Cisfemale PRONOUNS:  She/her

𝖋 𝖆 𝖒 𝖎 𝖑 𝖞

MOTHER:  Esther Bones née Levy [ 52, muggleborn ] FATHER:  Edwin Bones [ 54, pureblood ] SIBLINGS:  Edgar Bones, Gideon Bones [ deceased ]

𝖕 𝖍 𝖞 𝖘 𝖎 𝖈 𝖆 𝖑 𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖇𝖚𝖙𝖊𝖘

FACE CLAIM:  Maude Apatow BUILD:  Amelia is 5′4 and slender, moving into a “waif-like” territory. HAIR:  Long, pin straight without any intervention. Amelia either pulls it back in a bun for work or curls it to have loose waves. HAIR COLOR: Brunette EYE COLOR:  Brown SKIN COLOR:  Caucasian DOMINANT HAND:  Right-handed ANOMALIES: A deep scar on Amelia’s left knee from childhood. She had been riding her bike, hit some rocks, and fell off. Gideon had to carry her all the way home as she sobbed. SCENT:  Rose and bergamot perfume. Freshly pressed laundry. ACCENT:  Normal English accent for a girl from Devon, England but Amelia has a rich vocabulary. Sometimes making her sound a little snobby, especially when she’s trying to explain something to you. ALLERGIES: Nickel jewelry, discovered when she was twelve and got a severe rash from a necklace she’d gotten on a shopping trip with her mother. DISORDERS:  Amelia has always been a little anxious and worrisome but after Gideon’s death it has been a lot worse. She’s suffering from a lot of grief, depression, making her much more reckless and less likely to think through the repercussions of her actions. FASHION:  Neat and bookish but stylish all the same. Feminine blouses, thick sweaters over collared shirts, pencil skirts and low heels with stockings. Looking professional helps Amelia feel more confident and prepared to face the day. When she’s at home or working on something, she’ll dress more comfortably, in jeans and t-shirts. NERVOUS TICS:  When Amelia is nervous, embarrassed, or afraid she’s in trouble, she hates looking people in the eye. Embarrassed by her own emotions and fearful that she might have disappointed someone. She also will compulsively push her hair behind her ear, over and over, if it’s down and she’s feeling nervous. QUIRKS:  Do not leave your muggle pens unattended with Amelia, the only thing she would never feel guilty about taking. She’s liable to chew on them when she’s studying or working [you won’t want them back ].

𝖑 𝖎 𝖋 𝖊 𝖘 𝖙 𝖞 𝖑 𝖊

RESIDES:  Moving between London and Ottery St. Catchpole BORN:  Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon, England RAISED: Born and raised in good ole Ottery PETS:  A 2½ year old male ragamuffin cat named Humphrey

CAREER: Archivist, Department of Magical Law Enforcement EXPERIENCE:  Amelia’s father worked for the ministry and would often take his tiny daughter along with him while her brothers stayed home with their mother. Edwin Bones is a man very interested in politics himself so it was natural for daddy’s little girl to pick up on that as well. Amelia was well known at the ministry before even getting a position there, volunteering in her father’s department during summer breaks. EMPLOYER: Ministry of Magic

POLITICAL AFFILIATION:  Amelia is aligned with the Order. The Bones children were raised to be forward-thinking and accepting of others. Amelia might seem a little uptight but she’s open-minded and empathetic. She believes in advocating for fair treatment of all people and social services for the less fortunate. BELIEFS:  Amelia is a feminist and would probably be considered a democratic socialist. Her mother’s family are Jewish. Amelia considers it ethnically a part of her identity but is not religious. MISDEMEANORS: None FELONIES:  None DRUGS: No SMOKES: No [ yes, she’s a goody goody ] ALCOHOL:  Occasionally Amelia enjoys firewhisky or a pint on a night out but she is a notorious light weight. DIET: Amelia eats well most days but has a real sweet tooth and prefers desserts over everything. She’s notorious for forgetting to eat or knowingly skipping lunch when she’s distracted or obsessively working on something. She also doesn’t eat when she’s anxious or feeling depressed.

LANGUAGES:  English, German, French, Hebrew

PHOBIAS:  Failure, pain, grief, torture HOBBIES:  Biking, reading, embroidery [ though she’s not very good at it ] TRAITS: { + }:  Empathetic, steadfast, analytical, perspicacious, ambitious { - }:  Headstrong, overbearing, critical, obsessive, anxious

𝖋 𝖆 𝖛 𝖔 𝖗 𝖎 𝖙 𝖊 𝖘

LOCATION:  The garden in her childhood home, the archives of the ministry. At Hogwarts, Amelia’s favorite places were the library or McGonagall’s classroom when it was empty. SPORTS TEAM:  Holyhead Harpies GAME:  A girl in her year at Hogwarts introduced Amelia to Clue one snowy night in her second year, it quickly became a favorite. MUSIC: The Clash and David Bowie [ Joe Strummer is the only man for her ] MOVIES: Funny Girl FOOD: Sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream. BEVERAGE:  Espresso, specifically a cortado. Amelia would never turn down a nice butterbeer either. COLOR: Blue

𝖒 𝖆 𝖌 𝖎 𝖈

ALUMNI HOUSE:  Ravenclaw WAND (length, flexibility, wood, & core):  10½”, willow wood, unicorn hair, quite flexible AMORTENTIA: Espresso, mother’s perfume, toffee, fresh parchment, challah bread PATRONUS:  Magpie BOGGART:  Dead loved ones, Lord Voldemort

𝖈 𝖍 𝖆 𝖗 𝖆 𝖈 𝖙 𝖊 𝖗

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good MBTI:  INFJ MBTI ROLE: The Advocate ENNEAGRAM:  Type 1 ENNEAGRAM ROLE: The Perfectionist TEMPERAMENT:  Melancholic WESTERN ZODIAC:  Capricorn CHINESE ZODIAC:  Rooster PRIMAL SIGN:  Bee TAROT CARD: Justice, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands TV TROPES:  Beware the Nice Ones, Action Girl, Reasonable Authority Figure, Academic Alpha Bitch, Wise Beyond Their Years, Go-Getter Girl, Lawful Good SONGS:  

Au Revoir Simone - Stay Golden » I’m feeling better every day / And emptiness still leaves a space

Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins - You Are What You Love » The heart attacks I’m convinced I have / Every morning upon waking

The Big Moon - Your Light » I wanna speak but I’m wondering how / And I wonder since when was my voice a foreign object in my mouth

Beabadoobee - If You Want To » Experience is nothing compared to / The nights I’m always up so late

Kacey Musgraves - Good Ol’ Boys Club » Never been too good at just goin’ along / Guess I’ve always kind of been for the underdog

Marina - Can’t Pin Me Down » Do you think I’m stuck-up / ‘Cause I’m always picking fights

Joy Williams - Speaking A Dead Language » And somewhere in all the talking / The meaning faded out

IDEOLOGIES:

Amelia always hated using in quills in school, much preferring muggle pens. When twenty pages deep in a paper about the applications of the veritaserum when you have no interest in potions, saving time is key.

Amelia very much believes in the old adage, you can sleep when you’re dead. Not really a night owl or a morning person, she’s caught somewhere in between where she basically shirks sleep until it overtakes her.

Amelia would take a cup of coffee over tea any day.

Amelia is wholly convinced that David Bowie is a wizard, don’t fight her on this. She’s got a theory.

Amelia hopes that the Order can make a difference but is concerned that they will be overpowered. She wholeheartedly believes that it is better to do something than stand aside and do nothing. This viewpoint extends to her interest in ministry politics.

[mash-notes]

MASHstrology, Continued

Hello!!!! I will now show my work on an earlier post that guessed at all the main characters’ zodiac signs. Where unsure, I listed which signs I’ve narrowed the person down to—this could be two of the person’s placements, their Sun and Ascendant for instance. I find this is a super fun exercise for any fictional work with a big cast of strongly-defined characters. Even if you aren’t an astrology person, it’s a way to learn more about those characters or think of them in new ways. Anyway, enjoy! I’m not an astrologer but I’ve been interested in the discipline since I was a kid and have learned a lot. These are my own descriptions.

.

Hawk: Aquarius

An iconoclast, argumentative, stubborn, politically progressive, always believes they’re right (and usually are). Eccentric, sometimes wacky. Can be a loner, or else a leader of a progressive movement. Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aqua) are talkative, cerebral, and adaptable; Aquarius however is the least adaptable of the three. Confronted with an uncomfortable situation, they will ignore it and just do what the hell they want.

.

Margaret: Aries/Libra

Aries is a Fire sign, very brave, temperamental, a big ego that is easily hurt. They’re also highly sexual, expressing themselves flamboyantly in the bedroom. Aries women, in a patriarchal society, sometimes are unfairly criticized for asserting themselves in “boss” roles reserved for men.

Libra is the sign of physical beauty and charm. They’re naturally diplomatic, and always fair (their symbol: the Scales of justice). On the flip side, seeing all sides of an issue can mean they have trouble making up their minds.

.

Beej: Virgo

They are methodical, mild-mannered, analytical, and calm—except when something disturbs their chosen routine or lifestyle. Then they can become very anxious, not good at thinking on their feet. An Earth sign, Virgos are steady and dependable, “grounded” in what they can perceive with their five senses. They quell their anxiety by being hyper-aware of their surroundings, and latching onto (only) people they can trust.

.

Trapper: Leo

Another Fire sign, they’re hot and they know it, here to be admired/adored. When healthy, their pride also comes from knowing they are good, genuine people, affectionate friends who inspire loyalty because they themselves are loyal. When unhealthy it’s more often rooted in their vanity, sexual conquests, and superficial stuff (like clothes, which they always wear well, and beautiful hair, which as Lions they tend to have a lot of).

.

Henry: Taurus

Homey, comfort-loving, sensuous, and lazy. This is an Earth sign that gravitates to luxury: fine things, a big house. They are happiest when they feel they own or possess something, and as a result they can be good at making money, especially good at saving. Tradition is important to them; they’re not always fans of rocking the boat, even when doing so would be helpful. There is a streak of the masochist in them, and they are inclined to self-pity, but are actually highly capable and strong.

.

Sherm: Sagittarius

These are truth-tellers. The final Fire sign in the zodiac, they’ve transmuted alpha passions into a passionate wisdom. This doesn’t mean they’re always a model of tact; they put their foot in their mouth sometimes. Sag is a lover of independence, but also of camaraderie. They’re the life of the party more often than not. Ruled by lucky planet Jupiter, they tend to enjoy natural good fortune. They’re also the sign of the centaur: horse people.

.

Radar: Virgo/Gemini

Gemini are extremely quick, able to anticipate events and trends faster than any other sign. They communicate well in speech, writing, and every other form, doing a variety of things to get their message across and never breaking a sweat about it. They do have a dark side, this being a dual sign (the Twins), and can be irritable. Their moods can be hard to parse out, even by them.

(For Virgo, see BJ)

.

Klinger: Leo/Scorpio

Scorpios are mysterious, intense, often deeply spiritual, always compelling. They have a bad reputation as being cursed; in fact they are blessed with insight into what others don’t talk about: sex, death, failure, regeneration, revolution. A Water sign, they have profound emotions but prefer to hold them in, unwilling to reveal a weak spot. They want their way no matter what, and if they don’t get it are apt to seek revenge. They still have more dignity than anyone else.

(For Leo, see Trapper)

.

Mulcahy: Pisces

Also a Water sign, and the last sign in the astrological year, Pisces are true empaths, able to absorb others’ feelings. Gentle, placid, chill, yet serious, they feel more than think. As such, they can surprise you with their changeable moods, but on the whole are benevolent, containing oceans of knowledge both tangible and intangible. One of their negative traits is a tendency to space out and have their head in the clouds even when the situation demands focus. They also love to sleep.

.

Frank: Cancer

The sign of the Crab is indeed crabby, and/or tearful, when provoked. In happy times, they adore their families and are especially devoted to their mother. They’re into nurturing, domesticity, and the security blanket of physical love. Cancers are not above being babied by their love interests. They also come with a strong sense of duty and responsibility, cheerfully going by the books if it’s for something or someone they deem worthy.

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Winchester: Capricorn

As Cancer rules motherhood, Cap rules fatherhood. This sign is the hardest worker, also a climber, to the top of the professional and social ladder. They can be shockingly insensitive “users” of people for their own gains, often without realizing it; they just assume everyone else is the same way. On the plus side, they have a shrewd mind, a head for strategy. The thing that makes them gladdest is to know they’ve made it: a title, a diploma, a promotion, with all the prestige that goes with it. Scorpio is the most dignified, but they’re second—not that they love being second in anything.

[forbeautifulmystery]

Salaam aleikum my dear INFJ Muslimah. I would like to ask you a question. Unfortunately, I am not an INFJ myself. I am an INFP Muslimah.I would like to ask you, how to be more logical? I strive with being logical and not take things personally. Criticism and sometimes even jokes feel like personal attacks for me. My close friends even said that they tend to hold back their words when they're talking to me. This is not a stereotypical INFP problems but I am a very sensitive person. Jzkk from me.

Walaikum asalaam wrwb my dear INFP Muslimah! :)

Thanks for your question- another great topic!

The grass always seems greener on the other side, but in reality- as an INFJ I actually faced a similar struggle with my sensitive nature growing up, and still do sometimes! NFs often experience heightened sensitivity to the emotions of others (Fe) or their own emotions (Fi). And because that is coupled with an active imagination, we often feel everything so deeply- which at times is both a blessing and a curse. From my childhood until well into my teenage years, I too struggled with criticism and jokes that felt like personal attacks. However, when I approached my late teens and early twenties, I realised I could work on balancing my sensitive nature by building up my logical/ analytical thinking.

And part of that meant changing my perspective on criticism. The penny dropped for me when I realised that if I were to take criticism as a personal attack, I’ll just get so wrapped up emotionally that I would miss the valuable chance to utilise it for my own growth and development! I didn’t want to miss that gem of an opportunity! So, if I were to instead take what my critics say with a pinch of salt and realise that the critic is handing me a golden opportunity to improve myself, I can begin to associate positive feelings with criticism in general. So next time I would be ready for a positive opportunity as opposed to a negative fatality.

However, when it is clear to you that the criticism from someone is not constructive in any way and it’s just plain malicious, then that’s an indication that the problem lies with the critic themselves, and not with you.

Similarly, when it comes to receiving comments and jokes, for me it really depends on:

1) The meaning behind their words (is it well-intentioned- are they just teasing you to get a reaction from you/ trying to show how witty they can be? Or are they actually trying to make you look or feel bad?

2) How well you know the person (if they know you well, they should know what you will or won’t take offence at, but if they are not close to you it can be awkward)

3) What are they criticising (is something personal relating to an inside joke between you two, or are they actually trying to put you down?)

If someone close to you seems to be taking a joke too far, don’t get upset- it’s often a cry for help when people do that. If you need to, take them aside and just say you noticed they were taking the joke too far, and genuinely ask them if they are alright.

As a general rule for keeping logical as feeler, I like to subscribe to these lovely logics:

In terms of the development of one’s thinking cognitive function (Te or Ti), I think it’s always best look at the 4 cognitive functions for your MBTI and learn how each function will develop over time. The 4 main cognitive functions for an INFP are Fi, Ne, Si, Te, and this wonderful webpage by an INFP sheds light on how to develop Te (INFP’s thinking function): https://infpinsights.wordpress.com/2017/04/25/extroverted-thinking-te-in-infps/

Also this webpage explains what the cognitive development process looks like for INFPs over the years: https://personalityjunkie.com/infp-personality-type-profile/

For others reading this who aren’t INFPs, please check out the same page for your type here: https://personalityjunkie.com/16-myers-briggs-types-personality-profiles/

I have found that learning about this development process over the years has been extremely useful and has trained me to strengthen my thinking function (Ti) better. For example as an INFJ, my cognitive functions are Ni, Fe, Ti, Se. As I began my twenties I saw that my Se developed suddenly, but now in my later twenties I see that my Ti is improving slowly but surely.

Hope this is helpful inshaAllah. May Allah bless us all with the opportunity to improve our logical and thinking sides of our personalities further, ameen!

[automaiiiled-blog]

i’ve been trying to fight these feelings for a long time. and i know it’s unfair to both of us, and this isn’t the right time or place for any of this, but—i’m in love with you.

// @lcgendaris​

          claiming to not be FRIGHTENED would only amount to one of the biggest lies in the history of mankind — of course he’s frightened. who wouldn’t be frightened, knowing they’re heading off to an event created by deranged demi-god, with extremely high probability of resulting in a) death, b) the end of the world, or c) both? not even Edward Elric’s mask of stoicism && confidence is that thick, as to not be pierced by utmost dreadful feeling this may be the last time he sees home… the last time he and granny roll together in their banter for award to the shortest ever, the last time he gets to plunge into the ocean of calmness and affection that is the blue of Winry’s eyes. the last time he sees her.

          he’s TERRIBLE at saying farewell, has ever been; habitually, a mere turn around && the wave of a hand accompanied by a detached sentence or two. isn’t everything much less complex when you cultivate no attachment to nothing and nobody? but the strategy of a decade won’t serve, no more; not this time. not after that abandoned mine, not after that hospital, not after weeks of evading public eye TOGETHER, and together with a rogue homunculus and equally shunned chimeras. everything changed, good gracious, and Edward’s brain is made for science and for none of these messes. shame on his heart for feeling so soothed, regardless.

          but he does try. automail fixed && tuned, clean clothes on, the dark of night to sneak away unseen by any possible onlookers. he even promises to deliver mother’s final words to that useless Hohenheim, and is half-way down the stairway when Winry’s confession catches him, and kicks him right on the throat, and grabs him by the feet to turn upside down and give a good shake, before sending him rolling down that hill to slam right against the neighbor’s oak tree.

…what???

          did he just hear this right?? did she just— and, before he can blink && let alone remember humans require oxygen in their lungs on a constant basis, Greed and Heinkel and Darius start off with a laugh and without him (TRAITORS!!!!), and granny and Den and the northern soldiers retreat within with similar wide grins — and, all of a sudden, it’s just him and Winry. and the moon above, and words fluctuating in the warm air between them as innocently as though they don’t have inherent capacity to provoke a cataclysm. did she just…

‘ W-Winry… ‘

          what does a man do with this, then? he’s just been offered those four little words, in love with you, and she looks so certain and there’s no ounce of doubt nor regret to be found on her expression — what’s he to do or say or be? first things first — to turn away && stop gawking at her like an absolute moron, and, in turn, shield from view that helpless blush. and it happens — and, somewhere, Truth laughs at this idiot alchemist and the ill luck he’s cursed with; left foot MISPLACED, perfect mockery for even her handiwork being incapable of staying functional through such circumstances, and down he goes. a loud gasp and a little tumble down the remaining steps, till he’s finished with his face on the road && a foot in the air. god fucking damn it…

          no real injury, to be sure; what’s a minor fall to one used to broken bones and a fucking bar of steel embedded in his abdomen? only his ego might come out bruised, but not even that applies right now — spirit far too preoccupied with processing what she said. she’s not joking, is she…? she’s not saying this to make everyone snicker, she’s not saying this to make him feel better or out of pity…? no, she isn’t… she’s not the type to belittle such topic, and much less when they’re parting ways. she said it because they are parting ways… because she’s also TERRIFIED he may never return, because it’s too big and intense and genuine a sentiment to continue unsaid.

and you know what?

          Ed sits back up, and stands, and wastes no time to dust off that impeccably white shirt he put on half an hour prior — and runs the hell up those stairs all over again; how dare they do him dirty like this, but, also, bless them for the much needed jolt to slap all his ideas back into proper place. a sight SO RARE, of him abandoning entirely every logical and rational and analytical thought, and allow raw emotion to take him — to guide him till his hands, flesh && metal alike, cup her cheeks as he stares back up at her; one step below her, still. perfect analogy to the two of them as individuals, as is. and he bridges the distance absent hesitation nor second thought, tugging her face down and his up till their lips meet — and KISSES, kisses for a second and two and five and a total of over ten. till they’re both left breathless, jittery, inflamed, struck down by whatever undying bond holds them captive to never be separated again. and, just as recklessly, he pulls back; this time, fortunately, not fooled by the very ground he stands on. or floats above, right now.

          ‘ wait for me! i’ll be back — i’ll DEFINITELY be back! no way i’m dying and leaving you alone when i feel exactly the same! ‘ and the rest is the Fullmetal alchemist, prodigy golden boy, running down the steps yet again && running even more to catch up with his companions — a fist already coiled and prepared to smite whoever dares to bring up any of what just occurred.

[themclisseconnection]

#TRIGGERED

Bakit may nag-o-OT? Juskoh!

Are you completely fine with his answer? Good. You understand things the way they should be understood. You didn't depend on what your mind was saying because your grip on reality is tighter than any expectations. The set-up “what you see is what you get” gave you all the reasons to neglect all the negativity thrown by the “very productive” professional bashers out there (yeah, the ones who don't even earn a lot of money from it but still continue to do it anyway) It's not like you're blinded by the pbb throwbacks or old interviews. Your heart just feels safe. There’s no need for you to do some math with his answers.

During McCoy's interview yesterday, your mind was not set to just one answer. You kind of knew that “management” would be mentioned and you were not exactly waiting for any magic word to be spoken. Yes, after reading some rants you also found yourself thinking how different things would turn out if he answered the same as Elisse but you cared more about his actions, his efforts and what he could sacrifice for her. You can blame his choice of words in his answer but his actions? The things he consistently did for her? Those are the things that we couldn't even question and not even a change of loveteam can stop. Deep inside, you know hardwork and prayers can still make a bigger difference!! Your bravery is exactly what this fandom needs. Spread more positivity! You shove all the fears and insecurities away like a pro. So, thank you.

Disappointed, bes.

Were you a bit analytical of his answer? If yes, then it's okay. It's not like Mokya was solely responsible for your uneasiness. How you reacted also said something about yourself. He blurted out a realistic answer, a realistic perspective coming from an actor who knows how fast things can change in the industry. He answered based on what his mind dictated. In that moment, he was bearing a picture of the management in his mind and how it usually has the final say about things. McCoy became a thinker not a feeler. The answer was not based on his emotions and in reality, your reactions weren't based on emotions alone too. The disappointment you felt was brought about by your quiet expectations or fixed belief that the answer would be “Not now. Not just yet” because as we all know, Elisse answered that way in a past interview. You also used your head instead of heart—that was where the clash began. The minds have finally collided. McCoy became objective & answered the question using his mind and you reacted because you thought he could've stated a better answer. You just ranted for a bit but you're not really a doubter. You did not overthink because what you had on your mind was just one little idea that depends on two tenses-- the present and future. 

You were not waiting for “I'll fight for our loveteam. I don't want to change my ka-loveteam” because your mind was actually waiting for the word “Yet.” Some even mistook your being protective as being possessive but it's fine.You just made an honest opinion because you really want this loveteam to last and you know deep inside your heart, McCoy wants the same thing. He really does. You feel better now, right? After some reflection, you realized that the one word he failed to say didn't really fail you like what you initially thought. It can't really shake you or your love for this fandom. Your mind might have given you something to criticize but it's amazing how your heart always find ways to make you remember how precious MCLISSE is.

So, if you're thinking McCoy has changed, think again. He didn't change, maybe you did. ^^

It's funny how the “change loveteam” questions can freak us out everytime it's being asked. It's because, we care and we want to see more of them together. We have the urge to protect them. So it's normal for fans to react but not to demand directly. It's normal to express their thoughts but NOT to be rude and drag other people down. True fans will always have the best intentions. They don't always see the good in everything but they will always think of the common good. True fans don't sugarcoat, they're smart enough but they don't act like Mr-Know-It-All. Sometimes, they're even the first ones to notice when things are getting a bit off. Some will choose to keep quiet and some will post something about their “own” take but it doesn't mean they're bringing the fandom down. Social media is both a blessing and a curse, so you better it use it well. Don't stress yourself and more importantly, don't stress your faves.

We'll do our part, just like what we always do. We'll fight for them, and we know THEY will fight for us too. The fight may come in various forms but everyone in this fanmily is armed with the biggest weapon called FAITH. They say, if you know your weakness and acknowledge it, no one can use it against you. You see, some fans may have taken that one answer differently, but at the end of the day..... believe us, we're no different from one another because McLisse magically pull us closer together.

Let's play 4 pics, 1 word McLisse edition:

P _ _ _ _ _ _

T _ _ _ L _ _ _ 

Hey! We're only a few days away from our FIRST ANNIVERSARY. It's time to shake all of the worries away and just think of sabog-confetti moments, ganern. Let's just turn “overthinking” into a positive motivation, shall we? Try natin, gawing cute para less-stressful. You see, we've been secretly OT-ing since pbb and look where it brought us! Hahaha. Haneeeeep! We love you McCoy!! :)

[adoastrology]

LIVE IN SYNC WITH THE MOON

WEEK OF FEBRUARY 6TH – 12th

We are approaching an intense week rich in celestial events and changes above and below.

Mercury, the planet of information, words, and communication is moving into Aquarius, the sign where it feels at home and can exercise its functions at the full speed and full capacity. Our projects related to communications, processing of information, learning, writing, speaking, and trading will speed up and feel easier to deal with.

Jupiter turns retrograde in the middle of the week, and we all may start looking for the source of joy and optimism inside ourselves rather than expecting others to keep us entertained and happy.

Venus has started preparing for her retrograde motion that will not start until beginning of March, but she has been slowing down in her path through the Zodiac, and we may start feeling glitches in the ways we related to others. It is not advised to make big changes to your appearance or to invest into a large purchase during the retrograde motion of Venus, but caution should be exercised already as the planet of beauty, wealth, and relationships moves slower and slower in the sky.

However, the biggest event of the week is of course the Full Moon on February 10th and the Lunar eclipse, one of the two this year. Although eclipses are often dreaded and make us anxious, this one is very positive and will bring luck and joy into the lives of people, whose birth horoscopes are affected by it. The events brought about by eclipses may manifest within several months after an eclipse, but most often happen within a couple of weeks. If you know your birth chart, look for the house containing 22:28 Leo and 22:28 Aquarius to identify the area of life that may be affected. Any chart angles or planets close to these degrees of Zodiac will indicate that you are susceptible to the effects of this very positive eclipse and may get a lucky break in one or two areas of your life!

Moon in Gemini: Monday February 6th 

Starting the week with the Moon in Gemini promises a busy and hectic time on Monday. There will be unexpected surprises, breakdowns or breakthroughs, but the mood will be happy and optimistic independently of the external events, and our feeling will be in agreement with our actions, opportunities, and choices. This is a beautiful day for interactions with associates or friends, for important meetings and communications, and for conversations about the responsibilities and limits. Overall, a very dynamic, energetic, productive, and happy day.

The evening may reveal that we have more responsibilities and duties than we expected, but being optimistic and generous with time and effort will help us handle the challenges.

Moon in Cancer: Tuesday February 7th – Wednesday February 8th

The Cancer Moon may bring some drama and tension into our relationships. We could be too emotional and sensitive and may want to crawl into our shell to protect our feelings and not to get too hurt. There may be a confusion about the past events and uncertainty about the future that may make this day an emotionally difficult time. Watch out for power games and power display in the evening of Tuesday: with the current emotional drama, staying away from power struggle may be difficult but at the same time very beneficial.

Wednesday morning may increase the strain of power struggle, and, with a difficult relationship between the Moon and Mars, the weather may be too stormy and too confrontational. We may decide to make choices that promote war, not peace. If we make an effort to not start a war, the afternoon may bring sudden happy breakthroughs and a happier outlook at our relationships and people we love. Although it may difficult to resolve difficult situations right away, we will see a glimpse of hope, and start seeing a way to reinstall peace and harmony.

Moon in Leo: Thursday February 9th – Saturday February 11th early morning

On Thursday, the passionate Leo Moon connects with the Mars and Venus in another energetic Fire sign of Aries, and the sparkles will be visible. With the eloquent and intelligent Mercury in Aquarius, this is a great time for a conversation about a relationship: it could be passionate and fiery, but detached, non-judgmental, and objective at the same time. We would be also aware of the other person’s opinions and will clearly hear their words.

Unexpected obstacles may arise on Friday, and we may be reluctant to deal with the sudden complications. However, the fiery energy of the day should move things along even without our effort. Anything unexpected could be dealt with if we use our optimist and good humor. A Lunar Eclipse, one of the two this year, will happen in the evening and could be observed if the sky is clear. Despite a bad reputation of the eclipses, this one will not feel heavy and most probably will create new unexpected and positive opportunities in our lives, especially for those, whose birth horoscope is directly affected by this eclipse.

Early morning on Saturday (for those who rise early) will be about making solid plans and starting to create real changes for the future.

Moon in Virgo: Saturday February 11th morning – Sunday February 12th end of day

The Virgo Moon may be a blessing for those, who plan to work on the chores or job assignments over the weekend, but a curse for those, who planned to relax: it is difficult to be lazy and playful under the productive and anxious Virgo Moon. Reassessing plans for the future and making adjustments to fulfill our responsibilities of may be high on our agenda on Saturday morning and afternoon. Planning is what Virgo does the best, and we will have help from a studious Virgo Moon if we decide to dedicate this day to planning and researching the options.

On Sunday, it is time to work on resolving any misunderstandings and being very practical and analytical about the reality. Seeing and acknowledging the truth will be empowering and transforming and will help us to start fulfilling our obligations and dealing with the past mistakes and disappointments.

 Read more:

www.AdoAstrology2.com

www.AdoAstrology.com

[anotherler]

So I kinda binge-read LQ’s blog for several hours last night and today and I’m still not back up to the most recent post...there is so much material on his blog...bless. It’s been an emotional journey so far. I can’t really put my feelings into words sometimes and I just read some parts of his blog quietly but my notes capture some of it.

It’s a little odd, if you ask me for both aproach the blog from an analytical standpoint but be really emotionally invested at the same time. Without further ado, heres part 3.

Part 1 / 2 / 3

113. LQ gets defensive about his surroundings…that’s a bit of a red flag, isn’t it?

114. Oh shit. Oh shit. We’re getting to the part where I voiceacted some of LQ’s lines HAHaha. I kinda…know these posts too well after reading through them aloud and listening to my own recordings…oh boy. Kinda tempted to try my hand at voiceacting again.

115. LQ first mentions the possibility of him being cursed. He later calls HQ his curse…just saying.

116. FUCK. LQ IS TOO ADORABLE WITH THAT PEN  IN HIS MOUTH. FR ICK

117. LQ is a butt pervert

118. Oh dear…LQ thinks that being himself and being alone is all in one…oh man.

119. LQ really doesn’t think he’s worthy of anything…but I think he’d certainly want to be.

120. This really hurts.

121. LQ has probably been taking medication for mental reasons as well…maybe. I remember he had a box of medication given to him.

122. He claims his mother doesn’t like people acting “abnormal”…possibly another reason why he’s so hard on himself and why he tries to hide and excuse his emotions.

123. Suddenly he’s very pale.

124. FemLQ! Spot the diff

125. Poor LQ…he’s pretty uncomfortable and weirded out…

126. I’m…laughing about Mori leaning in with the askbox for the “dressup as my OC” answer. That’s the icing on the cake. Also LQ looks really good in that outfit.

127. Take a shot everytime LQ says fake it till you make it…but on a more serious note, it’s important to keep a positive mind but not good to ignore a problem when you have one.

128. Well well well. If it isn’t Static Oncie.

129. How can you feel nostalgic if you’re living the mentioned great time? (He’s not)

130. TBH I had a theory that Static Oncie became HQ but that’s…kinda incorrect and correct because it was confirmed to me that they are not the same BUT HQ DID come from LQ’s mind like static Oncie did so Static Oncie, LQ and HQ are all one in the same probably.

131. LQ repeating his opening speech. It never gets old.

132. Here we are at the waking up event by the way. Buckle down, folks.

133. Here is the second time LQ cannot read his monitor. Frankly, he probably only doesn’t read it cause he doesn’t want to.

134. He manages to forget entirely for a whole day.

135. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! SPOOKY GHOST LQ

136. Omg I voiceacted this whole part…gosh that was fun…poor LQ though

137. HEALTHY LQ. MY HEART HRUTS….like………bro even his hands are okay this is too much

138. Oh man. I get it…being healthy caused his mind to work properly and he started to remember…oh shit.

139. Strange static formations…do they have anything to do with anything?

140. …Looks like LQ couldn’t find his Mom.

141. LQ comes back covered in blood and makes expressions like he killed someone…not suspicious at all.

142. Another side note. I’ve been thinking about LQ’s static. And it’s been explained before but it does really aid LQ when it comes to selective reading and not “seeing” certain things…the thing is, The static builds up between him and the viewer so he doesn’t really notice it (at first that is. He sorta sees it as normal for him). Like many other aspects of his blog, the static is a manipulation of what is seen.

143. Main reason why that comes up is cause he’s found Dr. L’s medicine and the static covers up the words on the box he finds it in. At the last panel he covers himself in static and tells everyone to go away.

144. The static formations behind him look like a face and it appears as though hands are resting on him. I’ve mentioned the possibility of it being HQ or static Oncie at some point but I think that generally it’s a manifestation of how he wants someone there with him but he’s alone.

145. LQ’s sticky note clad monitor. Golly. Really hard to read…and he’s pressed his bloody hand onto the monitor at some point too.

146. I wonder if LQ ever did sum up the courage to look back at his blog posts.

147. LQ has a major aversion to being called cute hehe

148. Oh shit it’s the crawling AMV. Shout out to Mori for making me cry when I hear that song. All thanks to LQ. But it was a good idea to make a shitty AMV…I couldn’t be happier tbh :” ) Also confession back when I watched this the first time I didn’t know this song had a…reputation. So I kinda took it seriously LMAO

…okay I’m not done talking about it uh. The song kinda fits???? And probably the reason why I took it so seriously was because of the subject matter at some points. The crawling AMV is a cinematographic masterpiece. Fucking fight me.

149. Merry Christmas from the year 2012

150. Tax evasion: just say two very simple words in the English language; “I forgot.”

151. Is…LQ blocking out his blush with static? He probably is

152. Also looks like theres static rising up from those papers he dropped…interesting.

153. aesthetic: floating things (Christmas cards in this case)

154: So it seems that LQ has in mind not to work for his company and have people under him manage the tasks for him with his directive…makes a degree of sense but then again I don’t know how companies work. Then again, I can’t help but think that LQ doesn’t do that work because he doesn’t feel that he can.

155. For someone so insecure He also sounds rather full of himself sometimes.

156. On a side note this is one of my favorite parts of the blog as well…for LQ trying to show that he’s working and the pretty colours the static and distorted picture make.

157.  Another major thing I give this blog a lot of credit for is how complex it is. I’ve been trying to figure out a few things definitively the whole time I’ve been making these notes but I’m still unsure. Things add up but not everything happens with clear reason. It’s very interesting.

158. The GIF effects on this blog are top notch tbh

159. Did Static Oncie (LQ’s subconscious) know the truth about LQ being an aftermath? Because everything he said could be taken in that context to some degree although it mainly pertains to part of the valley’s destruction. However, everything has been adding up to this moment. And the clues are abundant.

160. The moment at the end where the static goes off is apparently the moment LQ’s hope dies. Er…static oncie, that is. I think about that a lot. Was static Oncie only there because of LQ’s hope that things could change? Static Oncie was there to cryptically remind him of the truth when LQ wouldn’t look back on it. And though he was rather agresive, he definitely isn’t as aggressive as HQ.

161.  The truffula on LQ’s lapel…I used to think it withered but maybe he actually tore it off.

162. In addition, when static Oncie says unless you see spirals in his eyes. Like the motif of the seed.

163. I really like the perspective of his lurkim in these panels

164. At this point…I think LQ has started to starve himself just…generally neglect himself. You can understand why.

165. RIP.

166. swone. BODY ONCE TOLD ME-

167. Honestly Swone why did you think mr mc lives in a lerkim would have a functioning oven. Surely you had some other options…orrr maybe you didn’t okay Swone. Now I’m also lowkey gonna talk about Swone cause he’s visiting.

168. wow….this is awkward. Talk about breaking and entering.

169. I’m FUCKING LAUGHING AT SWONE’S BLUNTNESs. Apparently LQ isn’t so easy to fool.

170. Was Swone prepared to bring his cleaning supplies or does he just bring them everywhere he goes???

171. Off topic again but goddamn if Once-lers are a pack of weirdos. Litterally you have two of them in one room at like, neither of them is the straight man (figuratively and literally most of the time). They’ve kinda all got issues to iron out. And yeah, these two are no exception. Swone is a fucking weirdo.

172. LQ has pretty much remembered all sorts of things and why would he push his memories of Swone away? Yeah these two had probably never met till then.

173. ……….it’s not Christmas.

174. Stove-ler.

175. LQ’s gloves got all torn up as well….he may have also lied about wearing his bandages underneath his gloves cause I can’t see em.  Hard to believe I didn’t notice until now. They don’t get like that till he’s dishevelled…it’s hard to think that maybe he did that to himself…hrm..

176: He mentions he can’t take them off so he’s likely neglected the care of his arms.

177: Probably was something of a nightmare for Swone to navigate around LQ’s house…and LQ himself. No offense but he was definitely gross.

178. The posts without any dialogue can be very powerful.

179. HOPESPLODE (sorry that was…uh…RIP Static Oncie)

180. TIME FOR PAIN (specific to this but applies to a lot of this blog cause there is a lot of hurt feelings)

181: SELF IMAGE QUALITY JSKGLdkl

182. o mg I remember the post about the “do you like the colour of the sky” post I actually watched Mori stream the drawing for it aaaa good times UuU

183. Poor LQ…..

184.  LQ arguing against his own existence because new cgi movies hurt his eyes. I have nothing so say about that just. Think about that for a second.

185. Super high quality-ler spffpfff I love this blog