#being vague only because i have friends who haven't yet reached that far

[fractalabomination]

I find it kind of hilarious that there are so little posts about biomes 3 and 4 because everyone's too busy bring bisexual on main to help Melinoë with her task; I'm really surprised because biome 3's boss is what the fandom has been clamoring for since Hades 1's early access!

Meanwhile, I've been beating up Chronos since night 10 with a fun combo I'm dubbing the Grandma Special and am vibrating rapidly because the callbacks! The level design! The enemies! Flashbacks! Aaaaaaah!

so yeah you could say i've been killing time.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Honestly, I'm kinda surprised that I (personally at least) haven't seen anyone bring this up regarding how season 5 ended and what it might mean for Marinette in the future.

Of course it's important to discuss what Gabriel wished for, concidering he rewrote all of reality to his liking and we will have to deal with that. Of course thats a priority.

But there's a very specific angle that's not to be underestimated in my opinion, and I'm just surprised that even after all these months I've yet to see anyone bring it up.

The very specific angle of: Marinette Dupain-Cheng doesn't know what Gabriel Agreste actually wished for and is a highly paranoid person who thinks herself to death.

So if Cerise as Chrysalis will from season 6 onwards be out here and manage to raise the absolute hell for Marinette she's being set up to unleash, then we can absolutely reach a point where Maribug might genuinely come to the conclusion that the reality around her is the product of Gabriel wishing for Ladybug's/ Marinette's demise since that's by itself not an unreasonable conclusion to reach.

Clarification: There is this frustrating approach going around in the Fandom about the wish. Yes, one can wish for ONE thing only. Mate, if I make the wish that the earth NEVER had land mass above the water in the first place, then reality would be rebuild with a completely different chain of evolution here on earth that led to a different "equivalent" of us humans. It would change earth as we know it entirely, and yet I still only wished for ONE thing. Guys, get tf creative please.

And that would obviously mean she'd want to undo the wish to get out of this new reality bc that would in her mind be what it needs to SAVE reality from Gabriel Agreste's legacy and get back to her family, friends, to Adrien, and Chat Noir even.

You know, similar to what Toxinelle wanted.

That would also obviously include that Marinette at some point, when everything spiraled far downwards enough around her, starts mentally distancing herself from this reality she's in - like a villain, only that she's not - and comes to think of this reality and it's people kinda as "collateral damage" because whatever happens here isn't really important since Marinette wants to get back to her actual reality anyway. Meaning she might actually push away her friends and family ect.

Honestly, it all depends on how much hell Cerise/ Chrysalis raises for her. Cause once Maribug is pushed beyond a certain line she will be out here screwing herself over further and further by being caught in a mental devil's circle, where she then WILL become a person who needs to be fought/ pushed back againt for everyone's (including her own) safety but that would reinforce Marinette's paranoia that she's trapped in a reality specifically designed to turn against her.

The original mission Ladybug and Chat Noir were once chosen for is now OVER, but in Marinette’s head the war against Monarque could go on. Even Chrysalis to some degree would then merely be an extention of Gabriel in Marinette’s head. So "getting rid of her" by using the wish would on paper not be an extreme action, but merely fighting fire with fire.

And yeah, all of this would also mean that at some point Marinette would justify in her head to turn against this reality's Chat Noir, to get his Miraculous and make the wish. In her eyes she wouldnt really be betraying Chat Noir - HER Chat is waiting back in reality for her while THIS Chat was made by Gabriel to keep her here to met her demise.

(if you want it angsty, let her find out where he was locked up and by whom in the season 5 finale, without letting her know that he's Adrien Agreste. Cause Adrien and Kagami having been locked up by Gabriel (and Tomoe) in all that global chaos still meant they were save enough because of their parents being their captors, to keep them out of everything. But give her the vague information that Gabriel Agreste held Chat Noir as civilian captive under horrible nightmares too, in a different country and in some white hell cell, and you tell ME that she wont be motivated to get through this new reality's Chat Noir to get back to hers. Especially when Chrysalis is out here turning everyone against her? Of course she would want to go back to her Chat Noir who's her anchor and who sacrificed himself to keep his Miraculous safe from where he is? Which she would in turn feel horrible about cause she then LOST. Honestly, all things concidered, Adrien Agreste and Kagami Tsurugi were fine enough in Gabriel's (and Tomoe's) grasps, but what reason does Marinette have to think that Monarque would show Chat Noir the same concideration? Especially when he had just send away his Miraculous?)

Yes, this would also mean that Marinette would slowly distance herself more and more from Adrien, bc even if she thinks Gabriel made the wish in Adrien's benefit doesn't it mean Marinette agrees with the outcome. For all we know Adrien will go back to working for the Gabriel brand now so in future he can step into his "hero father's footsteps as his heir to uphold his legacy (since Adrien already HAS the needed career for it, he would just need to learn under Tomoe and Nathalie as his father's successor until he's of age)

Yes, this would mean that the friendship between Marinette and Alya would get seriously challenged since, by all means, Marinette’s dialog at the end of S5 still names Gabriel and Monarque as two seperate people. So Alya may know Gabriel Agreste made a wish, but not that Gabriel was Monarque and why Marinette is getting more and more paranoid. Add how Cerise normally tends to use Alya against Marinette, this isn't unlikely to happen again.

Alya may very likely at some point take over as team leader (the way shes set up to do) bc Ladybug doesnt trust her own team anymore and they somehow need to save her from herself.

I'm just saying. It's kinda weird for me that I saw no one ever even humoring this angle. We're talking about Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and you're trying to tell me that she's not ever going to think back to the fact that's she LOST against Hawkmoth and doesn't know what he wished for while basically being locked up in his new reality in which Lila/ Cerise will rise as the new Butterfly?

Did you WATCH the Paris special?

Come the fuck on...

[dracocheesecake]

Now you watched and deeply disliked season 2 of Paws of Destiny I am curious what you would do of its characters in a modern au XD

Not an easy one! I honestly haven't given it much thought but what I do have:

Instead of being a empire, Xiao is heiress to a big business conglomerate. She's your typical rich girl influencer, until her father suddenly dies and she has a lot of responsibility tossed onto her. However, in my rewriting of her character, she actually grieves for her father seriously, (not 'waaaaaah I'm sad but oh suddenly I'm fine because HUMOR' like they did in the show), and is reasonably very very stressed and trying to handle her new responsibilities. She wants desperately to ensure that what her parents built stays afloat- mainly and most importantly the charities they have been funding and organizing for years, while still maintaining her socials. She cares very deeply about leaving a positive mark on the world the same way her father did, and caring for the people that depend upon her and the charity- but at the same time struggles with being only 15 and suddenly having to worry about so much. It's so fortunate for her, then, that her father's secretary Shi Long is there to help...or so it seems.

For Shi Long, obviously, most of her story stays pretty much the same- save instead of a demon, it's an AI developed from the consciousness of a deceased CEO- a CEO who once owned a programming/tech company that got bought out and shut down by Shi Long's adopted parents for its "unethical" experiments. The AI calls itself "YTB1", and after Shi Long found it buried deep in the old systems computers abandoned by the company (she had plenty of free time to engage in a computer restoration hobby, after her adopted parents started neglecting her after Xiao's birth), she befriended it, unaware that only has its own interests in mind.

Also in this AU Shi Long didn't commit all of the atrocities she did in the series (like killing an entire village to make a point), but in the end she is still sent to prison (actual prison, not being in a cage in the throne room for Xiao to gloat and joke about it for the rest of her life) for what she did do. Also she didn't send assassins after Xiao, but instead tried to frame her for fraud and laundering money from the charity, and she actually did believe the AI was her friend, and just wanted the power, wealth, and, most importantly: love that was snatched away from her the minute Xiao was born. I think she comes to her senses a little earlier, too, just before the AI betrays her- when Xiao discovers the true nature of Shi Long's relationship with her father, and actually reaches out to her compassionately, and Shi Long realizes that she may have been wrong to blame Xiao for the choice her parents made, just because she was born. After the AI is defeated, I think Shi Long would apologize to Xiao and then turn herself in for her crimes; but Xiao often visits her in prison, where the two try to bond as sisters.

As for Sun Wukong and some others?- I haven't thought of that yet. Honestly I didn't think much of any of it this is just a vague outline I have so far. I hope I answered this ask well enough, though!

[thesquidkid]

Who says science isn't exciting?

Disclaimer, I am not a virologist. I just like spending my free time researching subjects that are very far from my major.

Episode 4x06 Kiss from a Rose

I skipped episode 4x05 since the only science there was Liz separating Cam's cells from Tezca's. I talked about this in the 4x04 science meta, so I won't repeat myself again.

Michael is sick and his powers are gone. The first theory that Liz emits is:

"The regenerative protein that keeps you from getting sick is the same place where you derive your powers."

Meaning that when Bonnie kissed Michael, she would have "deactivated" that protein, both inhibiting his powers, and rendering his immune system useless. Hence, he would then be affected by every bacteria surrounding him.

Then, at Shivani's lab, Liz finds out that in fact, Michael seems to have an alien virus. Shivani is the one to point it out, that the virus has a triple helix. This then means that Bonnie would have taken Michael's powers away by giving him some sort of alien virus which would then enter the regenerative protein that gives aliens their powers.

(Later we discover that Clyde reverse-engineered a way to steal the powers that Bonnie has ever taken. I do not want to even think about that, but I will. When the time comes. For now, our local scientists don't know that, so neither do I. I'm simply delaying the inevitable)

The next science scene is once again between Liz and Shivani. (I have strong feelings about her, but right now I am tired of figuring out the vagueness of what she's saying). Shivani and Liz reach the following conclusion about Michael's illness:

"This virus was clearly built to replicate inside of a host, but it's not replicating in this sample." "Which means your friend can't spread it."

I personally find it quite worrying that up until that point, they didn't know if Michael could spread the virus, and still didn't take any protection. It is a know fact that a virus can mutate, and attack people who don't even seem at risk (just look at the covid, it's a perfect example). You'd think that everyone would take precautions not to spread whatever Michael has, while still making sure he is not alone.

On a second note, the part of "this virus was built to replicate inside a host but it's not in this sample" is very interesting to me. (I will get back to it when I talk about Clyde stealing powers more in details. This will either be in the science meta dedicated to that episode, or in the alien powers meta for that season; I haven't decided yet).

Liz basically says here that the virus lives inside of Bonnie; that it replicates regularly, and by extension (I think) it is safe to say that it then produced by the protein that regulates alien powers. It is then a personal ability; the virus is only replicating in Bonnie, in someone else it will only attack the host, but not try to expand into other people (unlike covid and most of other viruses).

There are viruses that we know do not spread easily, but there is still always a risk of contagion. Which circles back to my earlier point about Michael not being a some sort of quarantine.

When Michael confronts Bonnie at the police station, she says

"You're sick? That's never happened before."

That is a very interesting sentence. Because we know that Bonnie has infected other people, taken away their powers (her mother has she later tells us). But the fact that Michael is the first to get sick is due to the fact that they are on Earth and not on Oasis. (This is not confirmed but I really don't see any other option.)

We can then conclude, or at least hypothesise, that Oasis is not an environment in which bacteria and viruses would survive easily (if at all). Because if this was only due to the alien DNA, it would follow that the people whose powers Bonnie took would fall sick too. Which doesn't seem to be the case.

The fact that there are less viruses on Oasis could be either a technological, a biological, or an environmental improvement. We know that alien tech and alien biology have close similarities, so it is not that far a stretch that the environment on Oasis would be somewhat similar.

(Side note but Bonnie saying "I can't use the powers I take" and then cut to Clyde using said powers is my villain origin story)

We then see Liz stab (is that the correct verb?) Tezca with the machete,

"Which is why I tipped that machete in Bonnie's virus. Then I added a chemical accelerant to speed things up a little bit."

We aren't given a lot, but I will assume that Liz used the samples she had from Michael to separate the virus from his cells. Which is possible, but the different techniques depend on whether the virus has a single-stranded or double-stranded RNA. Here we have a triple helix virus, which we do not have (yet) in our world. (I am not a biologist, even less a virologist, so I won't even try to understand the science behind this. I just know it's a thing)

Then, another Shivani science scene. She hands a woman a vial and says,

"The regenerative protein we've been looking for. It's damaged, but it's a start."

I am guessing she got that protein from Liz, who took it from Michael. (For the sake of my sanity, I will ignore all the ethical problems in this episode -- in this entire show even)

I do not know whether it is possible to repair proteins from a sample that have been damaged by a virus. I have found a few articles on the regeneration of proteins after a virus in the human body (most articles were written post covid so I had to use my uni details to read them, it felt weird 😂), but as for outside of a body, i.e. in an artificial, lab-like environment, I haven't found much that I could actually understand.

For the sake of the show, I will say that Shivani has hired a ground-breaking scientist who does in fact know how to repair proteins artificially.

And this is the end of the science in this episode! I have never in my life thought I would read so many articles on viruses, but here we are! As always, if you have any question, if there's anything that I got wrong, or if you simply wanna talk about science, feel free to reach out!

[ripperdaddy]

the viktor vector romance path + ending we deserve

Disclaimer: This is definitely something I came up with in my head. There will be a few instances that are solely made up so it can tie in with the “story.” This is purely fictional; something I wished happened if there was a possible Vik romance 🥰 This is based on my general knowledge of the game & Vik’s life. All gifs + images are from my own personal play through, but wouldn’t be possible without the help of the Appearance Menu Mod, found on Nexus Mods by the creators, MaximiliumM and CtrlAltDaz. And the shirtless Vik mod by the lovely samsnak ♡

It would start after completing the Paid In Full quest where you pay Vik back the eddies you owe him.

I feel like realistically, the general player would have to be at least halfway through the story to have collected enough eddies. I would say that a good point in the story where we can begin the romance is that you’ve already established a connection to Alt and have dealt with the VDB’s.

I think it would be a short side quest like River’s. Vik already plays a big part in the story overall on his own, so I don’t think it’s necessary to make his “side quest” too long. His romance would just be an addition to the ending.

And as much as I would love for him to be a bisexual option for both male/female V, if we’re sticking with the game’s standard with limiting partners to only one kind of partner, he would only be romance-able by a female V with a feminine voice.

V: Finally scrounged up enough eddies to pay you back in full.

Vik: Hold on to ‘em just in case - you need ‘em more than me.

V: I’m not taking them all the way to my grave, Vik. Here. And.. thanks again for doing so much work on me ‘thout ever seein’ an enny.

Vik: That’s what friends are for.

Then, there is an additional option for dialogue to trigger the romance path.

V: Friends? I think you’ve been in and out of my body more than anyone else I’ve hooked up with in Night City.

He laughs, with a coy smile. “Well, can’t argue with you there. Why don’t we take some of these eddies and grab a drink. You know, to celebrate. Catch up on old times. Haven’t seen you round here much lately, kid.”

You agree to meet at the El Coyote Cojo tomorrow evening.

You meet around 9 PM and you are welcomed by the sight of Pepe and Vik at the bar.

V: Nice choice of venue.

Vik: Thought you’d like it. Haven't been here since.. well, you know.

V: I miss him, Vik.

Vik: I know, V. Me too.

You immediately take a seat and tinker with a few dialogue options, where you can either have a sweet moment talking about Jackie or some surface questions to ask, like how he’s doing, what kind of drink he likes, etc. But it all winds down to Jackie anyway, where Vik confides in you about his past. Judging by how Vik was so affected by Jackie’s death, and V’s (if you chose the suicide ending), you can tell that he has lost a lot in his life, and keeps his circle very small.

You then achieve an even closer, more personal relationship with him. But, ultimately nothing happens other than the usual, wait 24 hours in game for a text/phone call from Vik to head into the next stage. At least now, you have established the foundation for a future romance.

Halfway through the 24 hour period, you get a text from Vik thanking you for the lovely evening. No reply needed, as he calls you once the 24 hour mark hits and invites you out for another date.

You meet at Tom’s Diner for coffee in the afternoon. It starts off with him apologizing for being emotional the previous night and asks if you’re open to hanging out again and going down to Pacifica to watch a fight with him.

Vik: Hey, V. I just wanted to apologize about last night. I didn’t mean to be such a downer.

V: It’s okay, Vik. We share the same grief.

Vik: I was going to head down to Pacifica and catch a real good match later on today. I was wondering if you’d like to come along, think it’d be great for the both of us, you know, as a distraction.

pssst even Johnny’s rooting for y’all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Johnny: Hmm, interesting.

V: What?

Johnny: Never thought you'd be going out with this guy.

V: Vik's amazing. And I mean--we basically owe it to him since he practically saved our life.

Johnny: Don't tell me you're going out with him out of pity.

V: I'm not.

Johnny: I know, I can feel you get all mushy-gushy. It's almost repulsive. Just wanted to hear you admit it.

V: Eat a dick, Johnny.

You arrive before the GIM and blend into the crowd.

V: Nothin’ like watching guys beat the shit out of each other to get your blood pumpin’, huh?

Vik: This is a real good matchup, V. This kid’s fresh, young talent.

V: You miss it, don’t you?

Before the fight begins, Vik shares a story about his time in the ring and coming in second in the Watson Boxing Grand Prix.

There’s some extra fun options in the dialogue, you can bet some eddies on who’s gonna win, or side with him. The fight ends, and you two head outside.

Since you’re already out in Pacifica, you head over to the boardwalk (where you would ride the roller coaster with Johnny) and he starts telling you about the last days of his boxing career and how he transitioned from the sport to being a ripperdoc.

You both share a sweet moment with each other, reminiscing about old times and talking about V’s future with the relic. This is where I would see Vik confessing how he feels about you, mentioning how grateful he is for Jackie introducing you to him.

The evening ends and Vik asks you to give him some time to try and dig up some footage from his storage and have you come over to watch. You can kiss him then wait another 24 in game hours before the last quest. Halfway through, he texts you and asks you what you’d like for dinner. You can opt for pizza or chinese.

I haven’t seen or read anything about how or where Vik lives. If I overlooked something, please let me know! But for the sake of the story, let’s say he does actually have his own place that’s now introduced in the game. Personally, I think he has a typical bachelor pad, like a really nice apartment. Not too far from his clinic either. He looks like he would just walk to work. Vik definitely has a lot of money, but he’s so humble I doubt he would choose to live lavishly. As mentioned in the beginning, he typically just “sleeps nights” ever since he was over “being a legend” so I’m guessing his lifestyle is very routine. He goes to work, goes home, sleep. Seems unlikely he has a place like the Peralez’s. It would probably be just the same as V’s but decorated to his taste.

The evening comes and you are over at his place. He’s dressed in just a white undershirt, no exo-glove. You get to know more about his family, how he grew up — scanning things around his place. Then he plays some footage of one of his fights for you, while you two have a conversation and share a beer. As you two sit on the couch, you get close, then have an opportunity to kiss him.

then this is where da sex happen hihihi (ノ・ω・)ノ

The next morning you wake up and you two have a heartfelt conversation about where this is going. He already knows your situation, so I would assume he is very accepting and supportive. And with Vik, he seems like the kind of guy who would still want to be in your life and keep the friendship the same way despite no longer being together romantically. So it’s official. He’s your man 🥵 !!11!1!

Like how River gives you the “fuck the police” tank top after sleeping with him, I think Vik would give you his Night City Devils t-shirt that provides you with a significant amount of armor or some kind of cyberware upgrade that makes you invulnerable for a brief moment while using your hands to fight enemies.

Note: I was thinking of Vik giving V his boxing glove necklace, but because it's part of his character's appearance in the game, I don't think we would be able to essentially "take it" from him - unless he gives you a replica as a keepsake. Which I think would also work.

If you successfully romance, during the rooftop scene near the end of Nocturne OP55N1 (despite Vik’s disposition of him telling you to take matters in your own hands and being a little closed off), you still have an option to reach out to him when Johnny advises you to call a loved one.

V: Hey, Vik. I just wanted to say, thanks for hanging with me, until the end.

Vik: Quit talking like it is, V. Just do what you need to do.

V: I mean, think of it. It’s like I’m heading into the last round of this whole thing.

Vik: Well, in that case.. remember—keep your hands up, guarded at all times. It ain’t over just yet.

V: Heh.. I can feel it, just a few more punches.

Vik: Now look at you - the new welterweight champ of Night City.

V: Thanks, coach.

Vik: Last piece of advice from the coach's corner. Just.. be careful, kid. Remember, I’m with you.

Okayyyy, soooo I’m not the biggest fan of how CDPR gave us two of the same endings (Path of Glory). The only difference is that Rogue’s life is spared. I would have assumed that not only would we get to keep Rogue around, things should have played a bit more differently for V if we took the route of going solo against the corpos. So let’s tweak it.

This specific ending; it should be after getting through Don’t Fear The Reaper where you single-handedly manage to rip through Arasaka by yourself. Johnny goes back to Alt & Rogue is still alive. Yes nobody dies!!!

(honestly this ending can apply to any love interest you choose)

Vik and V are now living together in a lavish penthouse, entertaining an upcoming merc to do their work for them (which is now the current POV of the player.) You were recruited by Rogue at the Afterlife, who told you to visit this couple for a real, preem job.

They give you some vague details about the gig and go on for a brief moment about what you will be doing and what you should expect. Vik emphasizes to you that it’s important you get what they need because it’s for his wife, V, as her life depends on it.

As Never Gonna Fade Away is playing in the background, they tell you to break into Arasaka HQ.

Then the game officially ends.

[victorianoruben]

{Untitled yet}

Ruvik X F!Reader

Chapter 1

Warning: none, I guess?

Written by: me and @another-bryk-in-the-wall

(thanks to my best friend for beta-reading it!)

Sometimes the hours are blurring together on nightshifts. Sometimes they are extremely stressful. Emergencies where there are only two people on a shift.

Other times you have 6 hours of complete rest and boredom.

That day it was the latter.

You haven't been working here for long and already find this hospital to be “different from others".

Many employees were emotionally cold and absolutely not interested in anyone, while just some liked to make jokes with you and treated you like a normal person. Also, the whole atmosphere here seemed very private. There weren’t too many patients who were going out of their way to socialize or make friends inside of the hospital. Hell, most didn’t even leave their rooms.

You sat bored in the lounge with your mobile phone in hand until you suddenly heard footsteps. They reverberated eerily in the long hallway and you turned to face that direction, startled. It was rare that anyone was wandering the halls this late at night. You saw a man in a tight red uniform aiming to walk past you, not even acknowledging your presence.

Only when you took a closer look at him, did you notice his burn scars. They were covering half of his face. When he noticed that you were looking at him from head to toe you decided to greet him, instead of just awkwardly staring at him. A relatively meek "Good evening, Sir" came out of you. You felt very overwhelmed by his dominant presence, which intimidated you a bit. That feeling only worsened when you let your eyes wander to the top of his head... Was that his brain surrounded by glass? No, that couldn't be. You were surely imagining things. But, what if you weren’t. Oh god damn it, what had he been through?

He emanated a unique self-confidence unlike anything you had ever seen in anyone with facial scarring. Usually patients like that were unsure and shy, afraid of being judged over something they had no control over. Human beings could be downright nasty to anyone with a scarred face. Something about facial scars disgusted people and the victims could clearly feel the contempt of others and as a result, they tended to lose all confidence.

This man, however, seemed to practically ooze confidence, which you respected and you caught yourself of being fascinated by or more like interested in his presence. You felt how your heartbeat rose from 0 to 100 when you both made eye contact, though you tried all your best to keep yourself collected and professionally polite. But that didn't work that easily.

"Good evening.", the man replied, his face completely blank and his voice monotone. He was just looking at you without a friendly gesture, without a smile. The man was simply studying your appearance as well. One of the many abilities he gained over the years was that he could read people like an open book, left open for him to peak in. Someone had longer fingernails on their right hand and short on the left? Guitar player who doesn't want to destroy the neck of said guitar. Some dog owners always carried treats with them, even if the dog wasn’t coming along. All those little clues told him enough about a person before they even spoke their first sentence.

But you. He couldn't read you yet, and this peaked his interest.

You hadn't been here for a long time, because he knew all the long-term workers and their darkest secrets.

"Are you busy right now?", the man pointedly looked at the phone in your hand, currently playing a silly cat video. Truth be told, he enjoyed that kind of content, but would he ad this? Never. Absolutely never. He would rather get the other side of his brain exposed than to admit that he liked cat videos.

"I need some help with my studies. Care to join me?", that was a big lie but he was curious -

Who were you and why did you peak his interest more than the average nurse in here? He'd find out soon enough.

Only now did you wonder what he was even doing here during these late hours. He didn’t look like a doctor. Was he a lab assistant? He certainly looked like some sort of scientist.

Pressing your lips in a thin line with a weak smile you put my phone in your pocket and nodded, slightly mortified that he had caught you watching cat videos of all things. It surely didn’t look professional.

"No, I'm not really busy. I’m just having a long boring night- I mean, not that I’m complaining... I wouldn't wish for emergencies either. So, yeah… I’d be glad to help you," You fumbled a little over your words, still slightly unsettled by his presence.

You’d do nearly anything to escape the boredom of a quiet nightshift, though. And you weren’t really worried about him being some kind of serial killer. Sure, your colleagues were weird, but they weren’t really the kind of people to chop you to pieces and bury you in the closest forest. Weird didn’t equal serial killer. Besides, you were curious about the man.

You were walking next to each other in silence that was quickly going growing awkward. Nervously you were fumbling with your hands in your smock overall, thinking of starting any conversation just to get out of this uncomfortable silence.

"I've never seen you before. I'm still pretty new here. Do you work here as a laboratory or doctor assistant? Also, with many nightshifts? Is that really that common in this mental hospital? " You had narrowed your eyes questioningly when you looked up to him. By reading his facial expressions it didn't seem like he liked to answer you. His forehead was wrinkling in silent contemplation, which made you suspicious. It was unusual to have an assistant running around here so late at night.

Maybe you weren’t so far of with the serial killer suspicions. You actually contemplated hightailing out of there.

'Quick, think of an answer. She is just a pretty and naive nurse'

But even a little slip up could cost his head. He could tell by her tensing posture that she was seconds away from fleeing the scene.

‘That could end badly’

"I mostly work nights," he tried to keep his answers short and to the point. Laying on a confidence in his answer that he didn’t actually feel. He made sure to look her in the eye shortly and casually avert his gaze back to the hallway. If he didn’t look her in the eyes at all he would look like a liar and if he stared at her too much he’d look like one too. It was a delicate balance, that he had mastered over the years "That is because the nights are quieter and I can focus on the patients better this way."

You took a glance at him, still wondering about what his actual job was. His answer was too vague for your taste. But the curiosity was still grown inside of you.

You had decided to work in a mental hospital because the human psyche had always been kind of a mystery to you. Mental illnesses were both fascinating and tragic in your eyes. The mind was even more delicate than the body, in your eyes. It was so easy to break and healing it was a true challenge. It was your goal to help people with mental illnesses like depressions, dissociative disorders and PTDS.

So, you really wanted to know what this scientist - or whatever - was working on.

You both arrived at the door to his office. You signed an NDA before, but who knew what could happened once you opened mouth. He didn't trust anyone in this damn hospital.

"Do not be surprised by the sight in front of you once I open this door. All I am asking you is to check the vitals of the patients in the bathtubs. I want to make sure they are doing well but I am not entirely sure how to do that.", he lied through his teeth, ready to push you into one of the bathtubs once the chance was there.

Or could you be useful to him in the near future?

When you entered his so-called office after his warning you had expected anything - but that!

Never in your life had you seen a machine this far developed... It looked like something directly taken out of a science-fiction movie. The construction filled the whole room. There were wires everywhere, all connecting to a weird sphere in the middle of the room. Completely gob-smacked by the strange… whatever that was you took a while to take notice of the bathtubs. When you did, though you froze up immediately. There were people - no patients - in lying in the bathtubs, connected to the cables, which were attached to the back of their necks.

Like a statue you stood there for at least 20 seconds. Staring at one patient, you slowly went to him just to check his state. Curious to see if he was aware of his surroundings or if he was unconscious – maybe asleep . What was this system?

Could that reach possibilities to help several people out of mental illnesses or was this just a machine designed from a psychopath just for his own use?

And why would he need help from just a nurse like you?

You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Looking at this huge thing… I highly doubt that you don’t know how to check vital signs ", you shook your head and crossed your arms, taking several steps back, out of his direct reach. No way would you let him put you into one of these tubs!

You really wanted to run away and never go to the hospital again.

"So, tell me. What do you really want from me? Do you expect me to go into one of the bathtubs? Gotta tell you, that’s not gonna happen. I mean... not to sound judgmental. Because technically this could be something to help our patients. But I gotta tell you, this,“ You gestured towards the patient that was laying in the tub right in front of you, “looks quite suspicious and not very save. I hope the patients volunteered for this, because if they didn’t I have to report this. Don’t get me wrong, you seem to be quite intelligent and this looks interesting, but I cannot allow something like this to continue without - "

"- You are annoying. All I want you is to check the vitals of the patients and you are throwing a whole speech at me.", he shot back, not amused with your behavior.

"I am a scientist, not one of your doctors. What I am doing here could change the world forever. It is a system which helps people with heavy trauma to forge new memories and get rid of the trauma. Do you understand me?", the scientist continued to spit out. There was a look of passion in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before. They had looked quite dull and emotionless up to this point. It was clear to you that he truly cared about that project of his.

What you weren’t aware of was that the man had a plan. He'd snow you . Make you feel comfortable. And then, he'd put you in the bathtub too. The next one on his list would be Tatjana from the reception area. And then it was your turn.

What even was your name? He chanced a quick glance of your name tag, just enough to read "(Y/N)" on it.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). This is a top-secret project. If I find out you talked about it outside of this room, I will make sure you suffer great consequences. And trust me, I have my eyes and ears everywhere. Now go and check on the rest of these people before I get angry. Then, you may leave."

Author's Note:

I'm still unsure if I keep making this as a slow-burn whole Fanfiction or just cut the whole thing I'm planing into single parts like One-Shots

[funkymbtifiction]

This pandemic has brought out the worst in me. My sleeping schedule is a mess (I go to sleep at 6am and wake up at 2pm), I'm barely able to get out of the bed, I can barely do the dishes and take out the trash, I spend too much time on YouTube and inside my head, thinking about all the stuff I wanted to work on but being unable to do it.

My memory has also gotten worse - if it's not something I'm not obsessed with then I'll not remember the details. I was trying to snap myself out of this hazy floating by trying to focus my mind at least on reading, which is something I absolutely love, but now I'm unable to focus even on a plot I find interesting and intriguing, my mind immediately starts to wander, or I need to do at least 2 things at once (reading and checking Reddit, or reading and listening to some ambient music). I've also started to not finish stories where I once used to read a book a day.

I know the theory of what I should be doing, but that's it. I'm unable to JUST DO it. I think my Te is trying to motivate me by trying to wake up my conscience, but it's not enough. I hate this because I know I can do things and concentrate and be responsible and productive, but because I'm fine and all my basic needs are met I don't have the need to pull myself together. I used to fuel my 7 by travelling and observing people, but now that we need to stay home, and I have covid (so my friends bring me groceries), my 9w1 core sloth is all too happy to be left alone, with my devices.

I know that this pandemic brought pandemic fatigue with it, plus it's spring and I'm always tired in spring (plus my years-long medical issues with thick blood and low blood pressure), but it's driving me crazy that I could've gotten better at my hobbies and could've reached some of my goals by now only if I DID things. Things that used to work don't help anymore. And then I don't even stay mad long because some new video distracts me.

Is there something from a mbti perspective that can help to start doing things and concentrating on them? (For context I'm an ENFP 9w1 7w6 2w3)

Also thank you so much for this blog, thank you for helping lost souls find their way and be better people, both inside their head and outside when interacting with the outer world ❤️ I haven't been studying mbti for that long but so far I've seen so much valuable information on your blog, and for free!

Are you mad enough at yourself yet to change your behavior?

That's really the bottom line here, because you KNOW that YOU have to start being responsible and doing things and not just wasting your time... but YOU are the only person who will force yourself to do things.

A couple of thoughts. First, I recognize this phenomenon / brain fog. It happened to me several times last year during the pandemic (where I am, things are opening up, so hopefully they will soon for you as well) and I hated it. My mind was unclear, I had lots of things I needed to do but could not focus on any of them. It was, to be honest, a Si grip, which yanks you out of Ne-dom (possibilities, excitement about doing projects, seeing things made real) and turns your intuition into a "fog." There's no access to Fi (do I care about this? if I care, am I a principled person enough to do it?) and no Te (how am I going to prioritize my tasks?), just Si (I'm comfy doing nothing and feeling depressed) and flits of Ne, which only show up as being bored, easily distracted, etc. So some of this is a Si grip, and some of it is general depression (being unfocused, sleeping in late, not taking care of yourself, no motivation even for things you love, unable to finish things). You need to approach it by dealing with both -- getting back into your stronger functions (Ne: envisioning possibilities and finding a purpose, Fi: drawing upon your character and who you want to be and what you care about, to take action, Te: making a plan, forcing yourself to do what needs done, and keeping track of your progress to self-motivate) -- and by recognizing and admitting that you are depressed, and asking what you can do about it.

Second, you have built up some BAD habits during the pandemic. I get it. I fell into some of this as well last autumn, when I ceased being my usual productive self and started leaving work (from home) at 3pm every day. I developed a bad habit of just watching television, which numbed my brain and ultimately bored me. It's only now that I have hope and can go to the store without a mask on that I am feeling happier (my little 7 wing rejoices and has PLANS) and can work through into the late afternoon. I'm re-establishing a schedule that is productive throughout the day instead of allowing myself to "meander" in life. So what you need to do is look at your habits. Make a list of them. Look at what you told me: basically, it is I have become undisciplined, my sleep schedule is bad, and then I wake up late and feel lazy so I don't do anything. What is ONE THING that would jolt you into a different routine? Go to bed on time. Set a time every night, shut off all your devices an hour ahead of it, read a book until you get sleepy, and go to sleep. Wake up at a decent hour. If you wake up at 7am instead of 2pm, your body won't fall into its usual "welp, afternoon is half over, guess I'll watch YouTube" habit. It will go -- wait, what new habit are we forming? Breakfast? Then work?? Okay!

Lastly, and this is HUGELY important for an ENFP -- decide the night before what you are going to accomplish or work on tomorrow. Why? It prepares your brain to know what is expected from it. Unless I do this each night, and have a notion of how I am going to spend my time, my Ne goes ?!?! and I get very little done or waste three hours trying to decide what to do. But if I say, "Okay, tomorrow I am finishing chapter four," I usually finish chapter four (and then some). Today, I have to work at my paying job. I knew this last night, so I am mentally clear and prepared to focus only on the task at hand. I don't treat today as "mine." It belongs to my employer. I know what I am going to do, I intend to do it, and when I get home, I know what else I can work on. Learn to create this habit each night before bed. Decide what tomorrow is going to be like and commit to it.

As for tasks you don't want to do that still need done -- just do them. You can spend 2 weeks avoiding them, or spend an hour and get it over with so you don't feel like crap about yourself because you have kept avoiding it for weeks. Decide, "Tomorrow, I am doing that thing first thing in the morning," and then do it.

You will find that when you start setting yourself tasks (Te) that your Ne starts working properly again -- it will become more focused, less hazy, and more interested in what you can contribute, rather than just mindless "consuming." It's fine to have a down day now and again (even so, it's also useful to have a vague idea the night before of what this day will contain, even if it's fun -- it's fun and exciting to anticipate things) but your life NEEDS structure, or you won't do anything.

I hope you can pull yourself out of this, because you won't be happy unless you do. ENFPs need to get things done, contribute, feel like they are moving forward, and have something to show for their time. Without it, they will get angry at themselves -- as you well know.

[tunedtostatic]

Reply to @iffeelscouldkill on the great Vikady slowdancing post of 2021 because we've reached the point where my reply was going to have to do with neither Vikady nor slowdancing...

Also @ghostsquidsandspacebees please do post your mixes!! I would be especially excited to listen to the Campathi one :D I'm always in awe of people who can do fanmixes because I just don't seem to know enough songs in order to come up with them? But they're really cool!

#TSCOSI#Vikady#fanmixes#I am still singing The Mountaineer to myself so I think I know what's going to be on repeat for the rest of my work day#also YES someone beside me used Campathi as a smooshname#I am also partial to Captain Soup which some people use as a ship name#and hey why limit yourself?#we should have a concept ship name for Vikady too#And Brian x Krejjh#what about... mint trees for Vikady#hahahaha that's terrible#someone come up with a better one#and for Brian and Krejjh#I want to say Renegade Pilot after Brian's line about being a renegade academic#but that just sounds like a descriptor for Krejjh xD#also Renegade Academics could be a name for a Brian and Violet friend ship#anyway I'd better stop before I start trying to do Park and RJ#what am I doooooing in these tags#someone take tags away from me

The fanmixes are those ones I've been pulling together since spring, so rest assured they are slated to be posted! I'm doing one for each crew member (except remaining unknown quantity Park, poor Park, or maybe lucky Park since all the mixes have heaps of angst tracks), and I was planning to post those first, then the three canon ship mixes, then miscellany like noncanon ships and Other Violet.

I haven't quite finished the first, Sana's...it's admittedly already on the longer side for a non-shuffle mix, but it needs a couple more tracks in the middle before I'll be happy with it. I've been listening to tracks I haven't heard by artists I like, and I found another good Sana track this morning...

[IDs in alt text]

But as I said in my tags there's...actually no reason for character mixes to come before the ship mixes? I think that that started as a vague plan when nothing was close to completion, and now it hadn't hit me yet that all three canon ships are ready. The Campathi mix is still on the shorter side, but shorter mixes aren't a bad thing, so I'm calling it done! Ship mix time! (I know, I could always interleave characters and ships, but I like categories. 😄)

I have. Never heard "concept ship name" as a term for that kind of ship name, I love it. I read "mint trees" and my gremlin brain immediately came up with something far worse:

Free use image

I like the idea of "battle poetry" for Brian/Krejjh...they create battle poetry and he studied an epic poem. Of course, that could create confusion between battle poetry the ship name and battle poetry the thing. I can't think of any serious suggestions for Vikady... I actually think the fatal flaw of both mint trees and tea tree is not that they are silly but that the mint tea was also kind of Arkady's thing, so it would be nice to combine stuff that has to do with each of them. (Anyone?)

I HADN'T SEEN CAPTAIN SOUP. Glorious. I definitely got Campathi from you, IDK if you came up with it or just popularized it ("popularized" = "got at least one other person to start using it"...everything in a small fandom is relative, eh)?

The only ones I've come up with are Tripatel and Tripateliu, when I was trying to come up with a smushname for Arkady/Sana and thought it was cute their surnames nested together that way. Then I realized Violet's does too!! Fate, clearly.

To come full circle, I came up with Tripatel in the process of tagging my first post about fanmixes, since they were the start...

Last week I was listening to a new album and thought “hey this is a good Arkady/Sana track I should make an Arkady/Sana fanmix” which is all well and good but then as I was building the fanmix I kept running into tracks that’d work better for Vikady or Sana/Campbell or Arkady or…..and long story short I now have fanmixes in progress for Arkady/Sana, Arkady/Violet, Campbell/Sana, tscosi in general, Violet, Arkady, Sana, and Krejjh

arkady/violet arkady/sana campbell/sana does arkady/sana have a smushname a quick search reveals nothing that would bar sakady or tripatel from ship name use i think i'm gonna go with tripatel because I simply think it is cute that their names nest together that way

(Technically Arkady/Sana is at the rear of the posting queue because noncanon, but I'm also chicken since "Much of the appeal is that it'd be such a messed up disaster" seems like a great way to alienate anyone who doesn't ship it and anyone who ships it in the sense of thinking they'd be good together. But I'll human up and post their angsty, angsty tracks some day. 😆)

[sector-i-closed]

Daddy Material

Kang Yeosang x Choi San x Kim Hongjoong x Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader, Roommate AU

Warning: Smut, degradation, cum play, oral sex (male receiving), vaginal penetration, hair pulling, bondage (handcuffs), daddy kink and I don't remember oh and 4k plus words

Tagging: shoutout to @atiny-piratequeen and @youneedapiratekink for helping me with this and also tagging @delicatewerewolfsoul @mirror-juliet @beankeeper37 @youneedapiratekink @atiny-piratequeen again

It was interesting to you to say the least, interesting to be living under the same roof as three males who were not related to you in any way and today your forth roommate was added to the household.

You were quite annoyed by the new company but you didn't mind it that much since it helped you to forget how lonely you would feel at times.

This evening however you were standing in the hallway, placing distance between yourself and Park Seonghwa, the newest roommate and you were talking on your phone with your best friend who had a tendency of speaking anything that was on their mind.

Choi San had abruptly passed you by while on his way to the restroom, scaring you midway through your conversation with your friend.

You inhaled a breath and resumed speaking about the days events over the phone.

"What's your newest roommate's name?" Your friend enquired, looking for any information that they could gain from you.

"Oh it's Seonghwa..." You trailed off, trying to block the mental image of his face from your mind because you didn't want to be reminded of his attractive face which added to the three that already gave you impure thoughts and misery that you couldn't satisfy with only your hands.

"Oh Seonghwa! I know of him! He's such a daddy I hear!" Your friend's enthusiasm prompted you to grit your teeth, not finding the situation very exciting since there were four attractive men under your roof and you were only their roommate, and you wondered why you cared.

"None of them in this house is daddddy material..." You purposely emphasized the word daddy in a whiny voice to agitate your friend, though you were not ready for someone to speak up right behind your back.

Quickly you ended the call so that you could face your roommate, though you felt too mortified to actually face him now, this was going to be extremely awkward you decided with a disheartened sigh.

"Interesting direction your conversation has taken, especially when you're speaking about your roommates being daddy material. I wonder what you may have been thinking the entire time we've been living with you. Surely someone as sweet as you haven't been dreaming of getting laid by us." Hongjoong chuckled teasingly, a gleam in his eyes glittering which successfully unnerved you and made you wonder if perhaps you had stared at the male too long at one time.

Your face was burning up with fire, the anxiety of what you couldn't take back was weighing heavy on you and all you could do was stare at the male wordlessly.

A wicked smirk graced his lips as he stepped closer and your pulse quickened in response to his action.

"I'll bet that you've thought about that, which one of us was it?" Hongjoong asked with faux curiosity, he took another step closer to you and the sensation of your heart feeling as if it would explode any moment was painful.

"...." You opened your mouth, unable to say anything in your defense and your roommate seemed amused by your action.

"All of us? Surely you're too innocent to even have had that thought."

"Yes..." You spoke, uncertain as to what you were agreeing to but you were hoping for the latter.

"Yes, all of us?" Hongjoong looked down at you from where he stood, making you feel quite small and you hated it with a passion.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" San's voice broke the tension that was becoming unbearable for your heart. Your face lit up with relief and you were thinking that San had suffused the situation, that was until Hongjoong opened his mouth and squashed your hopes.

"Y/N and I were talking about how none of us are daddy material in her mind." Hongjoong chuckled at San's darkened expression, ignoring the daggers that you were glaring at the shorter male.

"Just wait until Yeosang hears this." San maintained the breath stealing gaze that he held on you.

"I don't think you should be making assumptions like that, I'm ready to prove you wrong right now if you want me to." He growled, a darkness overtaking his eyes and overshadowing the sweet man you had come to know.

"I'm pretty certain she wants us all to prove that we are indeed daddy material." Hongjoong's eyes danced with glee as you looked away, now having a feeling that the others were going to find out and what scared you the most was the knowledge that you would be unable to refuse their offer to prove themselves.

"Let's go find Hwa and Yeosang." San grabbed you by the arm, dragging your helpless body along as you dreaded what the others would do. Still you walked along with San pulling you while Hongjoong walked alongside your body.

Finally after what seemed like an hour the three of you were standing in the living room where Yeosang was playing videogames.

"Hey, Sang! Guess what Hongjoong heard Y/N say!" San grinned as he looked at your frowning face, the urge to hide was overwhelming and you felt as if you would cry from the humiliation, though you really wanted to see what would happen.

"Don't bother me I'm winning..." Kang Yeosang kept his eyes trained on the television screen as his fingers aggressively pressed the controls of his gaming console.

You silently prayed that he would react in a nonchalant manner if he was told what San seemed so invested in telling him.

"Y/N said that none of us here are daddy material!" San bursted out in giggles, holding your arm fast in his grip.

"Oh?" Yeosang peeled his eyes away from the television to peer at you in confusion.

"Is that the case? She could be right." Yeosang shrugged while brushing his hair from his face.

"Why must you say that?" San pouted, his hold on your arm loosening and in contrast relief was beginning to wash over you when Yeosang spoke up again.

"Because there should be no reason for me to say why." He glanced at Hongjoong with a questioning look in his eyes, who in turn gave a vague nod with a knowing look in his eyes.

"Does Y/N want to find out if we really are daddy material? I will make sure she finds out when she can't fucking walk tomorrow." Yeosang smirked darkly.

"Bring it on, I'll be able to walk easily even after a few rounds with each one of you." You scowled, tired of the way things were being dragged out.

"Are you sure about that, sweetheart? Have you had enough time to think about what you're getting into?" Seonghwa smoothly inserted himself into the conversation as if he belonged.

"I'm fucking sure!" You snapped, jerking your arm away from San's lax grip.

"Do anything it takes to prove yourselves because so far I'm not impressed." You spat, marching off into the direction of your bedroom.

"Oh babygirl. You have such low standards, we will surpass those easily and you will never forget it. Maybe your friend would like to hear you describe your experience with us when your voice returns." Hongjoong's mocking tone filled your ears, prompting them to burn in embarrassment.

"Shut up!" You retorted, only for laughter to ensue afterwards.

"The neighbors will remind her." San piped up in a cocky tone.

"So are you guys gonna do something or not?!" You huffed out in exasperation.

"Stop making her wait." Yeosang spoke up firmly, allowing his input to be heard.

He stepped towards you first, his pupils dark with an emotion within them that made you quite nervous and your body trembled beneath the fingertips that reached out to you and touched your arm.

Tingles resulted from the male's touch as he boldly closed the distance between your face and his.

"We will make it worth your time." Yeosang promised in a low voice, immediately melding his lips to yours and possessing them.

His straightforward manner took your breath away and puzzled you greatly since you had thought of him as the most reserved one in the house.

The sensation of soft lips pressed against your neck added to the otherworldly feeling of being kissed deeply by Yeosang, thus your body reacting by shuddering violently and relaxing into the chest of the male who stood behind you.

"Is this like you've wanted?" Seonghwa purred against your ear, biting your earlobe and encouraging even more tingles to rush throughout your bloodstream.

You whimpered into Yeosang's mouth.

"Already so excited by us, Y/N?" Hongjoong's singsong voice murmured against your other ear, a soft kiss being pressed against it and combining with the sensations of Yeosang's kisses and exploratory hand movements while Seonghwa kissed your neck with hot, openmouthed kisses that drowned you in heated sensuality.

You whined at the loss of Seonghwa's lips kissing your neck but instead Hongjoong leaned in and bit down on your neck, judging the vicinity of your sweet spot perfectly.

A pleasured cry tore through your throat, which paused the dance for dominance that your tongue was having with Yeosang's organ.

Hongjoong chuckled at your reaction and his hands slithered to your waist, slowly caressing your curves all while Yeosang traced your jawline with his fingertips.

"You sound impressed and we haven't even fucked you yet, babygirl. You're going to be completely amazed by the time we're finished." Hongjoong teased, biting your neck again with more force this time, leaving behind a bright red marking that would join the bites that he knew were yet to come tonight.

Reflexively you broke the kiss with Yeosang and tilted your head back, crying out vulnerably, the pitiful cry inciting restlessness to come over the males who were waiting for their turn with you and the thought was enough for your thighs to become slick with your arousal.

Unconsciously your hips grinded into Hongjoong's crotch, rubbing against him and coaxing a low groan from his throat.

"Oh!" Your movements were forcefully paused by Hongjoong grappling your hips and stopping you in your tracks.

"Daddy did not give you permission to do that." A sharp smack interrupted your labored pants and a small yelp followed the spank to your ass.

"Remember to ask daddy what you want." Hongjoong growled, "Or we will punish you."

He added, feeling you stiffen beneath his grip on your body.

"I thought you were supposed to impress me?" You laughed out, only for him to tangle his hands in your hair and turn you to face him.

"Believe me doll, we will. Now strip for us." He ordered, pushing you towards the doorway and watching you enter your bedroom and purposely take your time in removing your clothes from your body.

"When do I get a turn?" San whined after returning from somewhere with something shiny in his hands. You squinted your eyes to check closer and you found that he was holding a pair of handcuffs...

"No one is keeping you from having a turn." Seonghwa replied boredly, ignoring the younger males insistent whining as he began to strip down.

Your knees began to tremble beneath your weight as you watched Yeosang pull his shirt up and over his head, exposing his smooth skin which you found yourself desperately wanting to touch.

"So beautiful. Lie down, little girl." Seonghwa commanded, although you felt stubborn you went along with following his order.

"Horizontally." San chimed in.

You rolled your eyes and lied down upon your bed horizontally, allowing the youngest to click the cuffs and bind your hands together.

You sighed and felt a surge of adrenaline surge through your blood after realizing that four sets of eyes were drinking in your naked body and another trickle of arousal moistened your thighs.

"So obedient for us." San smiled down at you, his dark eyes drinking in every inch of your exposed skin.

"What do you want, babygirl? Tell daddy what you want him to do to you." Seonghwa ran his hand across your thigh, the tremors of your muscles prevalent beneath his touch.

Through the corner of your eye you could see Hongjoong undressing and you could make out that San had completely undressed in a mind bogglingly short period of time. Your heart felt as if it was lodged in your throat, preventing you from speaking at first.

"Use your words, little one." Yeosang broke through the haze of your muddled thoughts.

"Uh... I want... I want daddy's cock," You gestured towards Seonghwa with your head while you rested your cuffed hands against your stomach."

"And daddy I w-want your cock..." You stammered out while looking up at Yeosang pleadingly, feeling exposed and vulnerable on every level possible.

"At the same time?" Seonghwa interjected in a tone that made you want to laugh at how incredulous and surprised he sounded.

"Y-yes... please..." You moaned, opening your legs wide for Seonghwa to access your throbbing sex, mewling at the feel of his hands teasing your wet inner thighs with painfully delicate touches.

You tilted your head back until it was almost hanging off of the bed, staring at Yeosang as his naked body stood over you.

"Open your mouth for me, greedy whore." Yeosang ordered in a chilling tone.

Automatically your lips parted, another soft plea emanating from your lips as you gazed up at Yeosang. He took your cue and pressed the dripping tip of his cock against your lips, eventually sliding his length into the blissful warm wetness of your mouth.

"Ngh..." You hummed as you deep throated him, accommodating his hard cock in your mouth.

Tears stung your eyes when the tip of his cock touched the back of your throat and slid on down into your throat.

"Mmm!" You flinched when the tip of Seonghwa's cock pressed up against your entrance, sliding on inside of you as your hole readily accepted the intrusion.

"Your mouth is so fucking hot around my cock..." Yeosang groaned, snapping his hips forward and watching your Adam's apple bob in synchronicity with his thrusts. You moaned around his cock and tugged at your restraints as he continued to fuck your mouth.

Meanwhile your legs were shaking violently, the result of Seonghwa vigorously ramming his cock inside of your heat, him hovering above your body as he repetitively moved his hips in sinful movements that pleasured you deeply.

Pitiful whimpers exited your throat, seeing stars with every stroke of Seonghwa's dick penetrating your sensitive heat.

"Mmm mm..." You moaned, trembling and taking the harsh abuse of their cocks penetrating your holes and thrusting deep into you.

The urge to gag periodically coming and going as the tears flowed from your eyes, tears of enjoyment that you could not stop even as the burn of his cock stretching your throat was almost unbearable.

"You're taking my cock so well, babygirl." Yeosang grunted, continuing to fuck your throat until it began to feel raw from the constant friction of his length.

A shaky breath was breathed through your nose, your body quivering vulnerably from the deep penetration of Seonghwa's cock.

Briefly you wondered what San and Hongjoong were doing, a strangled moan coming from one of the males and snapping you back to remembering that you weren't alone with Yeosang and Seonghwa, which caused you to wonder if someone was jerking off while watching you get fucked at both ends.

Yeosang's constant spearing of your mouth prevented you from seeing what the other two men were doing but you could hear one of them whining and moaning pathetically while another sexual moan joined the cacophony of sounds that included your occasional gagging with each motion of Yeosang roughly shoving his cock down your throat, those sounds combined with Seonghwa's skin slapping harshly against your ass cheeks.

Your hole clenched tightly around Seonghwa's length, your muscles tightening from the glorious feelings that you accepted without a second thought, even your anal entrance was clenching from the pleasurable contact of his balls slapping against your puckered flesh.

"Don't come until daddy says you can." Seonghwa warned, reminding you subtly that he wasn't going to make it easy on you.

"I'm gonna cum on your face and tits, babygirl... Fuck I'm gonna make you daddy's cum bucket!" Yeosang barked out urgently, extracting his twitching length from your mouth.

You felt a spasm rip through your body but it was only a precursor to your climax as you tried to hold yourself together, the abuse that your pussy was receiving becoming too much for you to handle as Yeosang added to your predicament, in front of your own eyes he worked his hand up and down his shaft, releasing himself and shooting ribbons of translucent juices across your neck and chest.

"Ahh~" You arched your back and moaned out loud while simultaneously turning your head to the side and catching sight of what Hongjoong and San were doing.

Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of Hongjoong and San standing together, naked and kissing each other fervently.

Heavy pants exited your mouth as you watched, feeling Seonghwa's thrusts become harder and more pronounced.

San's hands were wandering down the small of Hongjoong's back in hungry touches that fascinated you greatly, the elder males hands slowly moving downwards themselves, rubbing across the vee of San's pelvis and teasingly moving his fingers closer to his erect cock.

While you watched his fingers wrap around San's cock you felt Seonghwa hit your weak spot, shattering the bubble of pleasure and you could not grasp any control to keep your orgasm from happening.

"OH!! AH DADD-...“ You screamed and writhed wildly beneath Seonghwa, who held you in place with a strong grip.

"Babygirl couldn't resist coming while watching us, could she?" Hongjoong chuckled, placing a chaste kiss against a pouting San's lips.

You could scarcely hear what he was saying, your sex was becoming overstimulated by the unrelenting thrusts of Seonghwa and the sensitivity of your flesh was overwhelming.

"You came without permission, babygirl... and you had better clean up after we're finished with you." The male growled, reminding you while withdrawing his cock from your body and proceeding to paint your stomach, pelvis and thighs with his sticky, hot cum.

Electricity rushed through every cell and nerve ending that you were aware of that you had in your body. Even though you were still reeling from your climax, a tightening of your heat informed you that you were still very turned on.

"On your knees, now." San's voice penetrated the blissful haze that you were experiencing, rudely interrupting the enjoyment of your afterglow.

You struggled to turn over and balance your body's weight onto your knees, lifting your ass in the air while the rest your upper body weight was placed onto your forearms.

The handcuffs restricted the use of your arms and hands, leaving them only to be useful for not teetering off of the bed.

A loud smack broke the silence as you winced from the sting of your ass being struck roughly.

"Tell me, babygirl. Do you enjoy your punishment for coming without permission?" San asked with an amused chuckle, using the palm of his hand to smooth over the reddened area, only to smack your ass yet again.

You flinched and moaned out weakly, your voice still hoarse from your mouth being fucked by Yeosang earlier.

"I'm... I'm sorry, daddy!" You whined, the now harsh burning sensation of your ass was motivating you to speak and the other males in the room thought that you were adorable the way you pitifully spoke up after only a few taps to your rear.

"So sweet the way you are so willing to call me daddy now. I'll think about lessening your punishment." San purred, positioning the head of his cock at your hole before purposely lowering his length and rubbing it teasingly up and down your slick slit.

You shuddered at his touch, anticipating to be filled yet again although you still felt extremely sensitive.

"Ah!!" You squealed at the top of your voice, being unprepared for him to have actually pushed himself inside of you so soon.

Hyperventilating breaths replaced the brief silence of the moment that had settled over the atmosphere in the room and you dared to raise your eyes, finding Yeosang on his knees in front of Seonghwa, sucking off the older male who had his hand fisted in Yeosang's hair and was guiding his movements briskly as he hollowed his cheeks around Seonghwa's length.

San was not letting up on how hard he fucked you from behind and a constant string of moans was uttered from your lips, intensifying as he grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled your head back, leaving you with no choice except to watch Yeosang orally clean your essence off of Seonghwa's cock.

"You enjoy that don't you?" A seductive purr sounded nearby your ear and you saw that Hongjoong was kneeling near you.

"You like getting fucked while someone else is licking your cum from another someone's cock huh?" Hongjoong grasped beneath your chin, turning you to face him in spite of the restrictions that San placed on your movements.

The pull at your scalp worsened and you felt as if you would collapse from the sensitivity of enduring the repetitive movements of San's cock wrecking your throbbing heat.

Pathetic cries spilled from your lips as you unconsciously held your mouth open, drooling from your mouth and dripping saliva onto your arms.

"You sound so pretty when you're being ruined." San spat out harshly, his fingernails digging into your hips as he snapped his hips forward and leaving you senseless from the painful pleasure that you were receiving.

"AHHHH D-D...!!!" You screamed, coming hard on San's cock and contracting violently around his length.

At the last moment he pulled out, peppering curses between groans while cumming on your ass cheeks, leaving his release dripping down your skin in pale, glistening streaks that accented your skin color.

You panted heavily, resting your head against your forearms and for now you were oblivious to what anyone else may have been doing.

"It seems our babygirl forgot what to call us." Hongjoong's humored tone filled your ears and prompted your ears to heat up in embarrassment.

"Count." A sudden smack was added to your ass, encouraging your flesh to jiggle from the contact of his hand and the knowledge of him touching San's cum made you dizzy with lust.

"Ah!" You yelped after another stinging slap was administered to your ass.

"Mmm..." You moaned out after the third spank to your ass cheek.

"You are forgetting to count, did you forget how?" Hongjoong growled, watching your body tremble from the attention that he gave.

"N-no!" You squeaked desperately, feeling something deep inside of you throb yet again.

"Are you so senseless that you can't even gather your own wits?" Hongjoong pushed you onto your back, hovering over your body and staring into your eyes with a dark intensity that made your stomach have butterflies.

"Uh..." You whined, spreading your legs farther apart and instinctively grinding your heat against his erect.

"Not so fast, I know you're a hungry cockslut but you're not getting it until you at least answer my question." His eyes narrowed, penetrating the mixed feelings that circulated in your body.

"P-please..." You begged, your lips trembling as you gazed at him pleadingly.

"I haven't heard you answer my question." Hongjoong tsked, leaning forward and bit your neck, moving down across your chest and leaving reddened spots littered across your chest and breasts.

Your eyes rolled back as his lips sucked at your skin, exciting your heat to the point of clenching tightly around air.

"Please..." You squeezed your eyes shut, unable to fight the fire that built again inside of your veins.

"How about no?" He chuckled, removing himself from between your legs and smiling at you devilishly, taking in the way your jaw dropped in shock.

You cried out and bucked your hips in frustration, watching him walk around your body and stand behind your head.

To your surprise Yeosang inserted his body between your legs, looking down at you from where you lied.

"You thought that you weren't going to be punished for forgetting who makes you feel good, huh?" Yeosang grinned at you evilly, taking the signal in your eyes as a go ahead to slide his hard member inside of your soaked heat.

"Daddy..." You mewled softly.

"Open your mouth for daddy." Hongjoong ordered, to which you obeyed and parted your lips for him, expecting him to slide his dick inside of your mouth but instead he began to jerk off in front of your face.

A soft moan came from the direction of where San had went and you wondered what he was doing with Seonghwa but you couldn't tear your eyes away from Hongjoong.

You had no idea how you could maintain keeping your mouth open without closing it reflexively, the constant moans that you were vocalizing while Yeosang fucked your heat effectively.

"I c-can't do it!" You arched your back and tugged at your handcuffs to no avail.

The excessive sensitivity of your sex encouraging hot tears to stream down your cheeks.

"You can do it, babygirl. Just one more time." Hongjoong spoke up softly to your surprise, acting differently from the way he had earlier when he had denied you and it puzzled you greatly.

You held your mouth open between choked sounds that came from your throat. Already you were feeling sore between your legs and Yeosang wasn't even finished with you yet.

"Ah! I can't! I oh...~!" You groaned, your walls fluttering to their own accord.

"Yes you can, cum for daddy babygirl." Hongjoong commanded, sensing that you were about to fall apart any second.

"Gonna fuck you until you come around my cock, babygirl!" Yeosang hissed, thrusting even deeper inside of your pussy as his hands went to your clit, rubbing it briskly and sending sparks to your head.

You began to convulse beneath him, screaming out and crying as Hongjoong came undone on your face and lips, saturating you thoroughly with the scent of sex.

Yeosang pulled out and pumped himself until he came on your sex, splattering his seed onto your aching folds.

You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, feeling too weak to hold your eyelids open.

"Time to clean up, everybody." Seonghwa huffed, dashing your hopes at having a chance to rest.

"We are daddy material, aren't we?" San spoke up cockily, raising the level of your annoyance again.

[maraudererasmut]

Black and White (Part XXXVI)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII | Part XXIX | Part XXX | Part XXXI | Part XXXII | Part XXXIII | Part XXXIV | Part XXXV* | Part XXXVI | Part XXXVII | Part XXXVIII

((Hey all! I might have to take a bit of an unexpected hiatus for a few days. Don’t worry, I will try to continue to write while I am gone and post as soon as I can. I apologize for the inconvenience!))

TW: mentions of sex (no actual sex, just vague discussions about it!)

It had been over a week since Remus and Sirius had fooled around in Black and White, and their late night shenanigans had yet to be mentioned by either party. Remus had avoided bringing anything up at the risk of making Sirius feel uncomfortable, and he could only assume that his boyfriend had done the same.

When Remus was out with Lily on their weekly coffee date, he absentmindedly nodded along to whatever his friend was saying; his mind was focused on other, more pressing matters.

"You okay, Remus?" Lily asked, nudging her friend with her foot. "You look a little out of it…"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered, trying to bring his attention back to Lily. "Just lost in thought…"

"Wanna share with the class?"

Remus shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. He wasn't sure how much to disclose, or how much Sirius had already said to her. Seeing as Lily wasn't begging for additional details, Remus had assumed that Sirius hadn't mentioned anything about their evening in the gallery.

"Is Sirius a virgin?" Remus asked, surprising even himself with his straightforward question.

Lily stared blankly for a moment before bursting out in laughter. Remus furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what was so funny.

"What kind of a question is that, Remus? Where did that come from?"

"Iunno…" Remus looked down at his hands, trying not to let himself feel embarrassed. "I... was just wondering…"

Lily blinked. She scrunched her nose and tilted her head to the side.

"You're not kidding, are you..."

"Nope."

"Uh… no. No, Sirius isn't a virgin. Remus, he's almost thirty!"

"So?" Remus scowled at Lily, crossing his arms in dismay. "Age has nothing to do with that."

"You're right, you're right… I'm sorry. I just… A— are you?" 

"What? No! I'm— no, I'm not. This isn't about me." Remus knew he was sounding a bit too defensive, but he hadn’t been expecting Lily to ask him that. Remus never had any particular qualms discussing his sex life in general, so he didn’t mind answering candidly— he was just taken by surprise by Lily asking him the same question in return. "I...well, things were a bit odd the other night and I was just… wondering…"

"Odd?" Lily quirked an eyebrow as she rested her chin in her palm. "In what way?"

Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"How much do you know?"

"Nothing." Lily must have noticed the look on Remus' face, because she put her hands up and let out a giggle. "Honestly! Nothing! He hasn't told me anything! Last I heard, you two made up and you've been on a few dates and that's it!"

Remus nodded— they had made up and been on a few dates, that much was true. It seemed that Sirius neglected to tell Lily that after each date since their night in the gallery, he gave Remus a chaste kiss and a jovial goodbye before driving away. 

"Sirius and I… we uh… we haven't…" Remus ran a hand through his curls, trying to think of a way to discuss this delicately. "I mean, we've only been dating for a week, but I was kind of expecting to… you know… and we haven't…"

"Hmm…" Lily crossed her fingers and chewed her lip in contemplation. "Maybe he's… trying not to push you? Like… maybe he's trying to respect your boundaries?"

"I've… made my intentions pretty clear," Remus admitted with a chuckle. He had not been subtle about his desire to sleep with Sirius this past week, but Sirius acted as if he was none the wiser. 

"Have you tried asking him?"

Remus shrugged. 

"I figured I'd ask you first… I didn't really want to… make things awkward, you know? We haven't been together that long. I was starting to get the feeling that something else was up..." Remus took another sip from his mug, trying to give himself a moment to think. "Is this… his first time dating a guy?"

Lily shook her head.

"No, he's been with men before. He's… never been averse to sleeping with anyone, to put it lightly."

"Just me, then..." Remus didn’t mean to sound so dejected when he spoke, but he couldn’t keep it out of his voice. 

Lily's expression changed to the dreaded look of pity that Remus hated. She reached a hand out to his, giving it a squeeze.

"I'm sure that's not it, Remus. You should talk to him! I'm sure he has a good reason for why you two haven't done anything…"

Remus' mind wandered briefly to a fleeting image of Sirius on his knees and he quickly distracted himself with his tea. 

"We… I mean… it's not like we haven't done anything…" He murmured, barely concealing his blush.

"Oh my god, Remus! Why haven't you told me?! Tell me everything!" Lily had a grin so wide, Remus couldn't stifle his laugh. 

"No. I'm not telling you everything. We just… we did some stuff… he didn't seem as interested in doing other things…"

"Ugh, you're being so vague. This isn't helpful, you know!" Lily tried to give Remus a serious look, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. 

"He… didn't seem too keen on having sex. I didn't want to push it, so I just… left it at that. I was confused, is all. So I figured I'd ask you if he...had ever done it before..."

Lily's smile wilted as she considered Remus carefully, trying to read him.

"As far as I know, Sirius has always been fine with sex… I'm not really sure what's going on… Do you… want me to talk to James?"

"No no, leave James out of it. I'll talk to Sirius myself. I just…" Remus rolled his eyes as he thought about this whole situation. "I figured I should do some recon in case there was something delicate that I needed to know before I breached the subject. God… this is all so high school…"

Lily smirked at her friend over her coffee cup. 

"You two are adorable," she cooed before taking a sip.

"Yeah yeah… shut up."

——-

"Hey Remus!"

Sirius sounded so enthusiastic on the phone, Remus could picture the gallery owner's smile perfectly in his head. The artist grinned up at his ceiling as he held his cell to his ear.

"Hey…"

"Ready for tonight? I was thinking we could catch a play. I've got a friend who can get us great seats—"

"That sounds lovely, Sirius," Remus interrupted, trying not to sound like he wasn't grateful. 

"I feel there's a but coming…"

"I thought maybe… we could stay in tonight? I mean, don't get me wrong, this past week has been amazing, and it's so sweet of you to take me out to all of these things…"

"But?"

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself.

"But I hate that it always has to be you treating me. I'd… I'd love to be able to treat you to something for a change. I just… you know I can't really aff—"

"Exactly!" Sirius sounded like he was sure Remus had just proved his point. "I don't mind treating you to stuff! You're my boyfriend, afterall. Let me spoil you. You know that I can afford it, I don't really see the problem!"

Remus held back his groan. Of course Sirius didn't see the problem.

"I know, I just…" Remus picked up a paintbrush that had been lying on his bedside table and he began to twiddle it between his fingers. "I like that you want to spoil me, I just… I'm not really a fan of being spoiled…"

There was a pause on the other end, and for a moment, Remus was sure that Sirius was about to break up with him.

"So… you don't want me to take you out places?"

"No, no, I just… how 'bout a happy medium? It doesn't have to be going out every time we see each other. We don't have to go to fancy restaurants every evening. We can… stay in sometimes. Watch some TV… play a board game… you know?"

Something about Sirius' silence told Remus that he didn't know.

"So… you want to spend tonight in?"

"Yeah! You can… uh…" Remus turned to look at his tiny flat, knowing that it was nothing compared to what Sirius was used to. "You can come to my place if you want. I can… cook you dinner…"

Remus silently prayed that Sirius would say no and invite Remus over to his place instead. That would be the ideal compromise: a night at Sirius' place.

"You know what? I'd like that. Dinner at your place sounds lovely."

Remus blinked, his hand stopped moving and the brush fell onto his chest.

"I… what?"

"We can have dinner at your place tonight. I didn't realize you could cook!"

Neither did I…

Remus closed his eyes tightly, silently cursing himself for trying to be polite and inviting Sirius over.

"Yeah, okay," he choked out, trying to sound casual. "I'll cook you dinner at mine. See you tonight…"

"See you tonight, Remus. I can't wait to see what you're gonna make!"

"Yeah… same…" Remus groaned, more to himself than to Sirius. He had accidentally dug himself a hole that he wasn't entirely sure he could climb out of. 

[justhereforfanfiction]

Lost - Logan x MC

Angst, approximately 2, 500 words.

Hi. This is my first ever fanfiction, so any feedback is welcome! Although I haven't posted any fanfictions on there other than this one, I will likely branch out from Choices on Wattpad and if you are interested in that, maybe you could look at my account? It's @ GalaxyGirl20671! Again, feedback including constructive criticism is welcome, and I hope you like it! I think it helps 'set the mood' if you do listen to the song, but in no way do you have to! I hope you enjoy. 😊

I know I didn't use every lyric but that's because I didn't want to use repeated lines in case it became repetitive.

Song - Lost by Freya Ridings

*I know I use 'Ellie' in this instance but it just represents the MC - to me, it feels a bit detached to use 'Y/N' - but feel free to self-insert if you wish! :)*

 'Standing on the platform, watching you go...'

Ellie stood at the turn - in at the end of her block, watching as a sleek, black-striped yellow sports car slid out of its slot into the street. Almost as easy as it had come into her life, she supposed, on that less-than-fateful day. But she knew that that was not the case, just as she knew the boy whose spark plug necklace was slipped under her t-shirt, guarding her rapidly beating heart.

'It's like no other pain I've ever known'

That same heart ached at even the concept of him leaving her side, yet somehow there the reality was painted, harsh and monochrome against the bold, colourful canvas of what had been her hopes and dreams for the two of them. Although with him, those dreams could have been driving around the city or sat in some reincarnation of his loft eating takeout from Kelso's, and it would still make her feel as though she was graduating from a hundred- no, a thousand - Langstons. Her sense of loss was so strong it manifested itself as physical pain - a common symptom of undergoing stress, she seemed to remember from one of their late-night 'study sessions', the knot in her stomach tightening at the fond, soon-to-be-bittersweet memory.

'To love someone so much, to have no control...'

Ellie could still feel her whole body pulse gently, perhaps not entirely from her emotions (although those threatened to overwhelm her), but from the intensity and fierceness of their last embrace before he left. That had been out of her hands, he had wanted to keep her safe - but her father pulling a gun on him only pushed the situation further out of her grasp. It seemed she had come full circle - from her cop father controlling her life to her breaking free, her forgiving him again, and back to him commanding the one thing she loved beside him; the boy with the car. Couldn't she have one untarnished goodbye out of the many to remember him by, without someone accusing them of something? Ellie's dad had only been trying to protect her, and she knew that - but her first everything had been putting HER first as well, being noble for Gods' sake! Even if it didn't feel like it to her...

'You said "I wanna see the world", and I said "Go"'

The look on his face had told Ellie one thing, yet his mouth spoke another. He had known she had plans for the future, and to him, he was getting in the way of those. With his words, he gently retracted himself from her life. He had been 'just some kid you caused trouble with in high school' to her father undoubtedly, but in Ellie's heart, she knew he was so much more. However, while he was saying that, his arms drew her in and she had melted into his touch. The sound of his car engine seemed to call out decidedly that his words had signified his true intentions.

'I think I'm lost, without you'

Without him, Ellie didn't know who she should be anymore. He was the one who brought her into this life, who brought out this side of her. Every time she had been brave, or confident, or even remotely bold, it had been because of him, directly or otherwise? Whoever thought she'd dance at a secret warehouse rave? Or pass her driving test? Or even talk to Ingrid as an equal in any way other than academics? Going back to her old self felt as difficult as trying to separate water from the sand without filter paper. "Be the real you. the one that was always waiting to come out" he had said. She wanted to so badly, but how could she do that when so much of that person was based on him? It was just like Colt had said - every time she gets behind the wheel she will remember them and the year she had spent.

'I just feel crushed without you'

Ellie's emotions weighed down on her like the heavens on Atlas the Titans' shoulders. Whenever they had been driving or executing one of Kanaeko's master plans with the rest of the MPC, she had enjoyed - no, loved - his company, yet now she realised that once the others were gone he had been the one she needed the most of all of them. And now he was about to be gone, leaving her with a stolen car that Toby wasn't here to patch up, and the memories of fleeting touches long since past.

'I've been strong for so long, I never thought

how much I needed you'

Even when he had left after teaching her to fight, Ellie had not felt it with the same note of finality that this moment held. She had always thought there was a possibility - however small - of seeing him one last time. And now, even though she wished it desperately, Ellie knew he wasn't coming back. This time, too much was on the line.

'Strangers rushing past, just trying to get home.'

In the not-so-far distance, Ellie could hear the steady stream of LA traffic that the boy she loved would soon enter. She wondered - would they know a wanted street racer was cruising down the freeway amongst them? That that drive was breaking two hearts and would damage at least one more before the night was out? Nobody knew where he was going, however, not even Ellie. Her best guess was back to Detroit, but Ellie guessed that not even he knew where he would wind up tomorrow morning. Even that one suggestion could have been some sort of plot to make sure she didn't worry about him (although she would nonetheless) or found where he was. He knew her better than anyone, after all. She would only have agreed to Mona's terms if he had reiterated them.

'But you were the only safe haven that I've known'

Those words were true enough. Despite her father claiming to support her in everything she did, the one thing Ellie never knew she wanted had been right under her nose, kept away from her by the one who 'only wanted her to be happy'. Sure, Ellie understood that Grand Theft Auto wasn't exactly a conventional - or indeed safe- pastime, but not teaching her to drive only meant that once Ellie wanted to learn, she was dangerously inexperienced anyway! And look where that got her. With her driving license, of course (since Ellie, as her dad loved to brag, "succeeded in everything she put her mind to"), but with her friends a now orphaned teen with what seemed to be a world (or at least city) domination problem, a hardened criminal currently in hospital, soon to be jail with a bullet through her side because of her, and two mechanic - slash racers on the run, and a boyfriend (well, would-be, since they never defined the relationship, but an ex now involuntarily)being forced by her dad to leave the country at gunpoint.

The boyfriend who had taught her how to drive. Who had cared about her over the safety of his crew, or even being put in jail. Who had guided her through her first... everything, really. First kiss, first car, first heist - whenever Ellie needed him, he was there. And most importantly, she could say next to anything around him and he would listen and give advice without judgement. Even though she had missed the comfort of her bed whilst residing in his loft, that boy was - and Ellie had a feeling always would be - where her heart lived.

'Hits me at full speed, 

Feels like I can't breathe 

And nobody knows'

As soon as the key had turned in the ignition, the Devore roaring to life, Ellie's breath had been knocked out of her as fast as if her car could have accelerated from 0 to 100 in a nanosecond. All she wanted to do was scream and howl at the sky, to God, to anyone who would listen to try and get them to rewrite fate so that they could be together. She wanted to cry to Riya, but she knew that her best friend no matter how much they had in common would just take her to get ice cream and tell her 'these things heal in time'. She wanted to collapse at her mothers' feet as she frequently did in her dreams, but the tightness of the heirloom bracelet at her wrist reminded Ellie that that was impossible.

Most of all, however, she wanted her fathers' understanding; that she loved and had lost just as he had all those years ago. She remembered when her dad had met him for the first time properly, the anger he had wielded towards the boy who had put her in so much danger - who had saved her from it just as many times. The disbelief on his face as she explained that she loved this 'bad boy', this 'adrenaline junkie'  as she was sure her father addressed him in his mind. How the initial shock had moulded into fury at whatever 'trick' he was sure this criminal must have worked on his daughter. No, Ellie was sure he wouldn't understand for at least the next week or so.

'This pain inside me

My world is crumbling

I should have never

Let you go'

The first tear of what was to be many rolled down Ellie's already mascara-striped face as she fell to her knees. Her dad looked at her in surprise as she screamed in the middle of the street, and could see an identical tear roll down the face of the boy inciting it as he drove past the old man, wincing in guilt as the sound of his ride or die's anguish reached his ears. Had it maybe been the wrong thing to do? Had he maybe... underestimated the intensity of the teenagers' emotions? Undoubtedly, but he had to protect his daughter from going down the wrong path.

Ellie's jaw tightened as her father dared to look vaguely upset at the situation. He was the one worsening it after all. It was almost shameful of him to have judged her (literal) partner in crime so quickly. After all, when had he ever hurt her with bad intentions at heart? Ellie realised that her anger was not directed towards her father, but rather towards herself for allowing this to happen. She couldn't have stopped him leaving, but she could have made sure they were farther out of her dads' line of sight so they would have a chance of a 'proper' goodbye, whatever that was;  the one year had spent with him and the crew had felt far more meaningful than any of the 18 she had gone through alone, to the point where the mere thought of goodbye was heartbreaking.  And she had simply let him be treated in that way by her kin?

'I've been strong for so long, I never thought

How much I love you'

Earlier in the evening, once she had dispelled all of her nervous energy, her mind had been solely focused on bringing Shaw and The Brotherhood down. But once that had come to pass, her emotions had hit her like a ton of bricks. The Mercy Park Crew had no reason to stick around now Teppei was dead; it was time to find a new gang. For Colt and Mona, leaving had not been a choice. The latter's injury and the formers' determination to build his name in LA's criminal underworld saw to that. Saying goodbye to each of them had been no easy task, and she had half expected him to have skipped town already, to save them both the heartbreak of saying goodbye. But that had not been the case, as he had stepped out of the darkness to say one final farewell. 

Tears had soaked Ellie's skin at the words he spoke, as they did now as he drove away. Her guard had been up during the heist, channelling her anger and determination to have Jason put behind bars, along with Detectives Wallace and Hester. But when she was around the crew, those she considered close enough to be family, Ellie had broken down. She had been fierce and brave then; that had been to cover up her paralysing fear of losing them again. Of losing herself again. His goodbye had hurt the most, like a slap to the face, short and painful but with lasting effects.

Throughout the brief conversation, their relationship had played through her mind; not just from her perspective, but what it must have been like for him.  How on that day, what seemed to be casual flirting and general friendliness must have been tiptoeing through a minefield for him. A single wrong move and the whole crew could be placed at risk. The initial shock and rush when driving from the cops leading to the beginning of their relationship. How in each moment Ellie fell deeper in love with him, he was doing the same, only that feeling of freefalling was paired with the guilt of tricking her, and the fear of letting her in at the risk of his emotions and her safety - concerns which were not calmed by certain complications they had run into along the way. This myriad of memories only emphasised the emptiness Ellie felt in her heart now.

'Standing on the platform, watching you go.

You said, "I wanna see the world" and I said "Go"'

As Ellie felt the tarmac of the sidewalk dig into her knees and tears roll down her face, she watched as the car she knew so well turned into the next street. When the car swung around, she caught a glimpse of its driver, his eyes trained on hers, smiling weakly through tear-filled eyes. Regret was written undeniably in his gaze, but he was trying to put on a brave face for her to remember him by. Trademark. A thought that once would have put a grin on Ellie's face now caused her to sob in sorrow, grieving the little moments that comfortably passed between them that she was sure could not be replicated with anyone else. She shot him back a brief smile, equally bittersweet in the less than perfect moment, and the last words he said to her echoed in her mind.

"Give 'em hell, troublemaker"

His car finally moved out of sight, and Ellie suddenly felt the repressed need to call out for him spring out in full force; now that her father had walked inside she felt less pressured to avoid the elephant in the room, at least out loud.

"Logan..." she choked out to no one in particular, as she rubbed her road marked knees the way he would have done and slowly got up.

Later, after she had deleted their messages from her phone and laid in her bed in silence, she took off the necklace from around her neck and placed it on the adjourned pillow. "Logan." Ellie whispered to herself as if in the affirmation that he had been real.

She had been lucky to know him. Too bad there wasn't a next time to be ready for.

[tumblunni]

Hi, I'm the anon who sent the messages about Rotom-Cyrus to TWJ. I wanted to explain myself. There are two books in Rotom's Room: one written by Charon where he says he found out about Rotom "by pure chance." So Charon is involved with Rotom (prob why he has that card) but he isn't the one who met Rotom as a kid. I don't want to spoil exactly what happens in USUM incase you haven't reached that part but it does basically confirm Cyrus is the one who wrote that account.

aaaa that suuuuuckscos literally its fuckin a book signed by charon how was i meant to know that oh the other book right next to it isnt by charon alsoand the trading card has no meaning whatsoeverand we’re just giving more sad backstory to a guy who already had a sad backstory and nope charon has no backstory whatsoever and was just super evil and everyone was right for all these years telling me i’m a jerk for liking this characterand right when basically the same thing just happened with faba seriouslyharmless comedic villain in sun and moon, is shown apparantly redeemed in the postgame, but NOPE now its retconned and he was The Most Evil One and something something lusamine isn’t bad anymore and everything she ever did is now being done by faba in the animecos hey yknow thats what i get for giving the benefit of the doubt to ~ugly people~seriously fuckin everyone hated faba right from when he was first revealed, you had people predicting his ENTIRE PLOT based on just one picture of him and his name and no information whatsoever on his personality. we all just fucking knew what was going to happen because he’s a science man with an ‘ugly’ face and he’s ~flambouyant~and then charon fuckin literally existed to be the ~worse man~ who was added to make cyrus more redeemablethats how he was treated in both mangas. he was made more evil just so cyrus could be redeemed, which was POINTLESS because we all already believed he could be redeemed! and fuck we even all already thought he had cute moments with his pokemon as a kid, geez! there’s a hundred fanarts of that same scenario but with murkrow or zubat or magikarp or houndour or sneasel...just fuckin the pokespe manga wrote a personalityless charon who murdered a child and was outright shown not being friends with rotom and actually hating rotom and getting his ass kicked by rotomand then in DPA we get not only More Evil Charon Who Kills People but also he’s drawn really stupidly over the top scary while everyone else is big eyed shoujo dorks. and our protagonist believes that everyone is redeemable except charon. lets show cyrus committing far more evil acts than charon ever did in the game, lets show him being ooc as fuck and talking about murdering pokemon while surrounded by graves. but THAT IS OKAY and our hero will insist on saying he’s redeemable but NOOOPE charon just fuckin steals some money and has an ugly grandpa face and he gets no such sympathy. he just exists to make you forget that moment of cyrus being ooc double evil. cos we literally retconned that charon was responsible for all cyrus’s evil acts last arc, even though he wasnt even in the fuckin story yetand like now my only damn consolation here is that the character i connected with when i first played the game is AT LEAST NOT THAT EVIL. but all the potential signs of headcanoning him as not evil were all false and i just should have known it. and apparantly its a better and more worthwhile plot to just give sad childhood man another pokemon he knew in his sad childhood, and the thing i thought was Really Cool And Interesting Writing didn’t actually exist. like seriously i was fuckin literally suffering from the same abusive childhood cyrus has in his backstory back when i played dppt and i DO NOT KNOW WHY but i ended up connecting with this stupid grandpa more than him and it saved me in a dark time more than him. back then i was a stupid fuck and i hated cyrus cos i saw myself in him, like i didnt want to admit that i was in an abusive family and i wanted to hate him for daring to want to take revenge against the world that fucked him over. i felt he didnt have the right, like I didnt have the right..so yeah i didnt even fully realise cyrus’s backstory until i replayed the game as an adult, but the one thing that did hit me back then was how unexpected and cool it was to turn our opinion of this jerk grandpa on its head. like i mean whoa! i didnt hate him like everyone else did, i found him pretty funny, but still i wasnt a big fan or anything until i saw that diary entry. like charon does LITERALLY NOTHING in the plot there is no reason they should have added him in a third version, he has no reason to exist unless he was meant to be the guy who introduces rotom’s new forms also added in the game. and it was such a mind blown moment! it doesnt even make him less evil! like “whoa this evil guy used to be a good kid once” could still work even if it WASNT a sign of him having potential redeemability, like it makes him so much more personally evil and horrible if he abandoned his best friend or something. I was so dissappointed you don’t get a boss battle with him, cos i went and caught that rotom and was hyped to defeat him with the pokemon he once betrayed and like there’s NONE OF THAT ANGLE if it was cyrus. it doesnt make rotom any different than any of his other pokemon that he owns right now and we know he already cares about, cos he has a crobat.and it JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSEbecause the journal SOUNDS like charon!they both talk all smart guy style but it felt more formal like how charon talksand like how charon boasts a lot, but the journal has him boasting about his friend instead. it sounds too enthusiastic to be cyrus...and like we already know where cyrus grew up as a kid and it wasnt eterna city. and he doesnt have a secret lab in galactic hq also in eterna city, like charon does. and also he’s not like friggin fifty years old so why would his childhood poke-friend be in a wrecked abandoned house if it was just ten years ago or something. and also why would they give charon this trading card where they draw the 100% evil guy having a vaguely genuine smile on his face and not looking like rotom hates him and he’s got it caged up or anything and also why would the card’s effect be all about friendship and why would they define him as The Rotom Guy and why would they even bother to give a trading card to charon if charon is a pointless character who never did anything important and had no actual relevance to this rotom wifi event except apparantly stealing a bunch of diaries from some other guy who was really responsible for it all. and why would they bother to point out that someone signed the diary if it wasnt the guy who wrote the diary, and also we are not going to sign the diary by the guy who actually wrote it. like if it was meant to be cyrus whey didnt they make it clearer?? nobody could be expected to have figured that out!also why does charon have a second rotom room in silph co in HGSS which timeline wise means he would have had it before DPPT and he’s talking about finding a rotom by chance before he ever found this diary that doesnt really belong to him. like why would he build an entire lab of form machines if he didnt own a rotom yet? how would he know enough to make them actually work for rotom if he never owned a rotom yet?why did nintendo decide to do all this if i wasnt supposed to reach the conclusion that charon had ANYTHING to do with rotom???why didnt they make it fucking clearer. why couldnt i have been saved years of clinging to this stupid ass headcanon and basing a lot of my taste in stories on the whole concept of ‘wow that was so fucking cool how they took a one dimensional looking villain and then turned it on our head with a cool reveal and made me super eager to see future stories with him’ and hey we’re not ever gonna get those and also everyone else was right and i should just give up and agree that ugly looking granddads will always be eviland why the fuck did i somehow link my self worth to such a random ass headcanon for a random ass character like seriously could someone have properly explained cyrus’s plot to me as a kid so i could have had him stop me from committing suicide instead. like seriously if they’d just made cyrus’s grandpa less hard to find and explained the plot more clearly and explained that he was the rotom kid AAAAAAAAARGHand i really didnt fucking need this, usum, right after also people started telling me that lusamine is ~really good~ and her whole child abuse plot is gone now like ha ha ha ha fucking ha lets crush bunni on two damn levelsand what is my fucking luck that this happened to happen right on the same day when i got some stupid ass anon hate and also had a horrible nightmare about my abusive fatherlike seriously dude who sent me this ask im really sorry ive had such an incoherant babbling reply to it, its just been a really bad day for me and like.. im not freaking out because of this minor headcanon being proven wrong, its just like i was already freaking out and having some random irrelevant headcanon bullshit happen right now is REALLY bad timing to push me off the edgehopefully i can calm down and come back and give a more coherant response of like.. why i headcanoned the different thing and why I’m sad its not true, even though i’m happy for you that your personal headcanon did become true instead.but like it sucks to be told ‘nope you’re not allowed to have your favourite character, his one and only personality trait was just a misconception you had’ during such a really bad timing of such an already bad daynintendo could u give us like a sassy science villain gramps who DOES have a redemption plot? or at least a plot that isnt ‘exists to be worse than the main villain’? like seriously why did it happen twice. i was happy at original sun and moon cos it felt like faba as charon but better written but then NOOOOPEjust...god...what.what sort of fuckface up in heaven decided to throw all the bad shit at me today and not at least spread it out across the rest of the week?