#being unable to enjoy fictional stories because of it. you must be so bored and depressed with life and want others to be too

[alchemiclee]

seeing people debate if sparkle is good or bad for even existing as an evil character in star rail reminds me of the time someone on here was throwing a fit and policing people over enjoying evil characters or tragic fictional stories, either writing them or consuming them. they insisted anyone who writes or enjoys evil characters or tragic events is living their evil fantasies vicariously through fiction since they can't legally be evil irl. they think any fiction that isn't all happy rainbows and sunshine is morally and ethically wrong and bad for existing, and you're a horrible person if you make or enjoy it. it's so goofy silly (in the bad way) and the sparkle discourse reminds me of that bad take when people try to shame others for enjoying her lmao I bet that one person would literally pass out if they saw someone say they like sparkle.

I hate discourse and try to ignore it, but sometimes I accidentally read it and it's so hilarious. I also I want to try to figure out the psychology behind the things people say. like how did your brain even do those gymnastics! you should enter the brain Olympics! you have a good chance at gold.

anyway, I enjoy sparkle as an evil character that breaks up the monotonous goody two shoes, barely morally grey, or slightly grumpy hoyo characters that are still generally likable/loved. it's a fun change of pace. even if she's unbearable and makes me want to punt her ass into the penacony dream sea lmao

(note: this post isn't made to invite discourse. it's just me talking to myself. do Not discourse at me. I do not consent to it. thanks)

[derpymule]

The worst part about modern purity culture and moral absolutism is how absolutely boring it insists the world is. They’ll point at anyone who does something they see as immoral and say they must just be bad people and there’s nothing more to them. But every single person out there has an entire life behind them that motivates everything they do. Why did this guy kill an innocent man? Why did that woman go on a vitriolic racist rant in public? Why did those parents abuse their child? Just saying “because they’re evil” is such a meaningless answer. Each and every person has a whole list of reasons why they do the things they do, and as much as it’s useful to understand those motivations, it’s also just an interesting story.

Perhaps that man killed someone out of desperation to steal his money and feed his family, or perhaps it was in a fit of anger because the victim had hurt him before. Or perhaps he simply enjoyed the thrill of committing such a heinous act, and had previously been unable to find a healthy outlet. There is no such motive as “he was evil”. Even the cruelest people have a story, have a reason. Nobody outside of fiction comes out of the womb planning a murder, there is always a long thread of events and people that lead up to that point. And thinking otherwise has always disappointed me, because you have such a fascinating story right in front of you, and you instantly try to reduce it to a single word. It’s lazy, being unwilling to give any deeper thought towards it, but it’s also cowardly, being afraid to inspect those neat little boxes you’ve placed the world in and find you’ve made a mistake. And there will be mistakes, because human beings are vast and fascinating and beautiful and are all completely different from each other in so many ways, and it’s impossible to cram everything a person is into such a tiny space.

[fizzingwizard]

watching QI and Stephen Fry just said that PG Wodehouse was friends with Arthur Conan Doyle and based Jeeves and Wooster on the relationship between Holmes and Watson - one smart and one a “blitherer.”

And as I grind my teeth and feel happy to live in the era of reclaiming Watson from accusations of stupidity when compared to a man who can tell what part of London you’ve been in by the mud on your trousers, I turn to Google, which offers me the balm of “a thirty second sound bite from QI does not, in fact, tell the whole story” lol

(On the other hand, given that Fry was Jeeves, maybe he is more just having a laugh at Hugh Laurie? bahahaha)

under a cut for length

Here’s one with this fabulous description:

“Wodehouse’s most famous characters are undoubtedly Jeeves and Wooster — a twentieth century, self-absorbed Holmes and Watson, if they were divided by class and Watson’s bloodline had gone through a few more generations of in-breeding —”

buahahaha. Well, let’s consider that the inbreeding had more to do with the blithering than the Watson influence :)

But the rest of it is a very interesting article about Wodehouse as a German captive, and it’s pretty wow. And I went down a rabbit trail here feeling sympathetic for a guy who does come across as ignorant and bumbling, mainly because politics are boring:

“A news article was released at the same time, exacerbating the situation. Wodehouse stated, ‘I never was interested in politics. I'm quite unable to work up any kind of belligerent feeling. Just as I'm about to feel belligerent about some country I meet a decent sort of chap. We go out together and lose any fighting thoughts or feelings.”

I mean any day of the week I’d be on board with that quote. But not during war, not during times people are “meant” to be angry. And anger very much has its place. It really is a human dilemma: requiring everyone to be angry when there really and truly is something worth being angry about rejects the idea of people whose basic nature is peaceful. I guess you could say they were born in the wrong era, not that we get any sort of choice about it.

“The MI6 officer [in Paris] decided Wodehouse was merely ‘ill-fitted to live in an age of ideological conflict’”

that is so funny. and heart-breaking. not even about Wodehouse - about all the people in the world who are equally ill-fitted for the times, but still the times needs them...

When good people do nothing, we know what happens. But, on the other hand, among those good people is a whole lot of individual people, some of whom simply don’t want the inconvenience, and some of whom are really basically peaceful and developing a warlike mindset would destroy them. As always, humans don’t like humanity. We must fit into boxes - even the people who reject boxes do their best to fit everyone into different boxes. Because of pain - it’s hard to argue with pain.

Anyway back to Holmes and Watson, lol.

My favorite bits in this one begin with a Wodehouse quote:

“Usually we tend to discard the idols of our youth as we grow older, but I have not had this experience with A.C.D. I thought him swell then, and I think him swell now.“

Thanks for validating the idols of our youth for us old fogies who dare to continue to enjoy life past 25!

Oh this is great too:

“As a creator of comedy romances, Wodehouse’s detectives were permitted time off from the study of little known Asiatic poisons to relax at the Senior Bloodstain, and even to fall in love. A hardboiled crime writer could never permit such diversions, as we learn from Wodehouse’s fictional crime writer, James Rodman, in ‘Honeysuckle Cottage’.

‘He held rigid views on the art of the novel, and always maintained that an artist with a true reverence for his craft should not descend to goo-ey love stories, but should stick austerely to revolvers, cries in the night, missing papers, mysterious Chinamen, and dead bodies — with or without gash in throat.’”

take that, you hardboiled detectives you!!

So I found other comparisons of J&W and H&W as well, but nothing that went too deep. I think what I was hoping to find, and which may exist somewhere, is someone considering the role-flopping aspect: Watson is Holmes’s helper, but Holmes equivalent Jeeves is Wooster’s helper. That changes things a lot. If Jeeves were a woman, he might have been perceived by readers as a “nagging wife” sort, for instance. Whereas if Watson were a woman, his stupidity would be forgiven, but he’d definitely need a lot more rescuing from Dastardly Villains, - at least once per story and twice per novel ;)

I like thinking of J&W as Wodehouse going “I really need a Sherlock Holmes in my life to tell me what to do” and poof, Jeeves is born. I would say the same, except I hate to be told what to do :)

[rainbowsky]

As much as I love the fake rumors like the one with the window cleaning robot, one thing I don't understand is why would their staff make these conversations public? Would they even be allowed to?

This is in reference to a previous post.

It’s a fake rumor. The entire enjoyment of it is that it exists in the grey area between real and imagined.

But since you seem determined to be a buzzkillington and to try to push it into either the boring ‘must be true’ or ‘must be false’ realm, Anon, why don’t we follow some of those threads of logic and see where they lead? 😉

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Arguments for why a fake rumor might be fake:

Anyone close to them who shared a story online would surely be immediately fired.

GG and DD, and by extension their staff, are far too busy to have time to muck around with fake rumors.

GG and DD are surely trying to protect themselves and their relationship. There’s no way they or the people around them would take the unnecessary risk of sharing real stories in this way.

Occam’s razor. It seems far more likely that these are invented by fans than that someone close to GGDD is writing and posting them.

These types of stories are meant to be fun, not to be seen as real.

What possible interest would someone close to them have in sharing stories about them online? Most people would find the idea offensive.

It’s probably a game to some people to submit made-up rumors to see how many people will believe the story.

Many fake rumors involve only a few people, sometimes just GG and DD. There’s no way for some third party to be present, know about it and report it online.

Most of the rumors are so vague in detail that they could be about just about anyone.

Even if a rumor does come from a reputable source, that doesn’t automatically make it true. Everyone is capable of lying or embellishing the truth. In some cases it might even be intentional for GG and DD’s sake.

Anyone can post a fake rumor. There are tons of people obsessed with GG and DD, there are antis and toxics. There are many, many more people out there with motivation to post false stories than there likely are people willing to post real ones.

People are easily deceived. Even if part of a rumor is true, that doesn’t mean all of it is. Rumor mongers probably know this and plant false stories that have real details in them.

Arguments for why a fake rumor might be real:

If they’re easily dismissed as fake (and in fact actually labeled as fake), what’s the harm in telling a real story and passing it off as fake?

GG and DD enjoy throwing candies at fans. Why wouldn’t they approve the occasional anecdote being posted to the rumor house, or even submit the occasional rumor themselves?

The entire fake rumor house exists as a means of telling real stories while protecting GGDD by mixing real anecdotes with fake ones. It only follows that some are true.

It’s only natural that someone in a secret relationship who is unable to openly share their day-to-day experiences with the world would want to find other ways to do that safely. Those closest to GGDD would understand that and be more than happy to help out.

People who share stories without permission likely take precautions to protect themselves. They probably only share anecdotes that happen when there are other people present, where it would be difficult or impossible to be sure who told the story.

Some of the rumors are so realistic and believable and capture GG and DD’s personalities and their unique way of interacting so well that they’d be extremely difficult to invent.

People who are close enough to them to have encounters worth sharing are human, too, and perfectly capable of being turtles. What’s more likely to make someone an avid turtle than having firsthand knowledge of their relationship, or actually seeing GG and DD together?

It’s in GG and DD’s best interest to keep the ship alive. Not only because of the cover the ship provides, but also because of the support turtles provide. Fake rumors are one way the ship could be kept fresh in people’s minds. No bones thrown, and eventually fans will lose interest.

There doesn’t need to be someone present who would tell the story publicly for it to end up online. People are terrible at keeping secrets, especially exciting ones. All it takes is for one person to tell another and then another until eventually the story lands upon someone willing to post it online. Even GG and DD themselves likely tell friends and family about some of the major events in their lives, and there’s always a weak link somewhere.

GG and DD likely have things they wish the fans could know about them. That they are still together, that they are doing well, why this or that thing happened. The fake rumor house would be a safe way for them to do that.

We can examine any fake rumor through this lens and find reasons it might be true and reasons it might be false. That’s what makes them fun; the fact that they are unknowable. It’s exciting when they are occasionally verified, but most of the enjoyment isn’t about whether they are true or not. Most of it is just about enjoying a bit of low stakes humor or sweetness.

That’s a big part of why it’s such an effective tool for connecting GG and DD with the fans. Even if every rumor is fake, fans are given more reason to stay engaged.

Edit: I have written a related post about LRLG here.

[kyouxa]

Chaos Lineage: Game Prologue

This particular game is described as 'a painful vampire love story that takes place in a “what-if” parallel world.' Meanwhile, this game actually takes place between Dark Fate and Lost Eden. Enjoy!

Place: Secret room — Interior lights

Karlheinz: Checkmate.

Socrates: … !? Why is it that you win again… ?

Karlheinz: I have triumphed once again.

Socrates: Kch...

Karlheinz: I truly enjoyed myself tonight. It was an intense match until the very end.

Socrates: Are you leaving now?

Karlheinz: I most certainly still have to carry my plan forward.

Socrates: So you are quitting while we are still ahead?

Karlheinz: I do wish to continue this game of ours.

But I know you are aware of me being unable to do so, my friend.

Socrates: Yes, I do know that. And that is why it makes me impatient.

Karlheinz: Do not say that, my friend. My long-cherished desire is to create a new life…

And in order for me to achieve this, Adam and Eve are necessary.

Socrates: I know…

You have been keeping your eyes on finding Eve for a very long time already. She might just be a normal girl, but she does carry a special heart inside her.

Her role was to fall in love with a demon, and she fulfilled it.

Karlheinz: And after this, the vampire chosen and loved by Eve… will become Adam.

And this said moment is finally about to finally arrive.

I rewind time this many times and I have been trying all possible varieties…

And now success is finally before my eyes.

My friend, I knew having you as my conversation companion would not make me feel bored in the slightest.

Socrates: How reluctant…

Karlheinz: What, I am sure we will see each other in our next lives again.

Socrates: ...You are right. We will see each other in our next lives.

Karlheinz: I will now start arranging the final preparations… therefore, I will excuse myself.

*Karlheinz disappears*

Socrates: Karlheinz… we will no longer see each other in this life… hm?

Monologue

A vampire called Adam. And a human girl called Eve.

If the two of them unite in marriage and give birth to a new life, Karlheinz’ plan will, without a doubt, finally be fulfilled.

...But the price of fulfilling this, will be losing my friend.

After this, I will be awfully desolate. Yes, I will be very lonely indeed…

Suddenly, I turned my eyes back to the table.

On the chessboard, the white and black chess pieces were still aligned. Those are traces of the game I enjoyed with my friend just a moment ago.

Place: Secret room — Interior lights

Socrates: My friend, I wonder if that man, who has been chosen as Adam, is certainly worthy of his role?

Monologue

There must have been a lot of candidates to be Adam. But was it truly inevitable to choose him?

If everyone knew Eve under equal conditions… would we not be able to deduce the true Adam in doing so?

...In the end, I am still not convinced that he should become Adam.

Therefore, I should experiment on my own, in order to convince myself.

Place: Secret room — Interior lights

Socrates: This should become a fighting game, in order for them to get the piece called Eve. The chess board will then become their world, which I will create with my magic—

I will confine the candidates for Adam as the chess pieces with Eve together.

Adam might have been chosen already, but it is more than easy to alter their memories.

Their memories, abilities and positions — why do I not try and put them under equal circumstances as well?

An experiment to see which piece will end up truly obtaining Eve at the very end…

In this fabricated miniature garden, they shall fight until only one piece remains.

Now, let the game begin. Until they may reach a checkmate.

Or… until someone deviates from the rules of this game.

Until only one last piece remains standing, or until someone ends up breaking the rules…

There is no other way to get out of this experiment—

Monologue

I wonder where this place is? The only thing I know is that I’m laying in complete darkness.

It’s as if my mind is blank, even if I try to trace my memories, I can’t remember anything.

And then, all of the sudden, someone’s shadow appears in front of me. This person, who appears to be a beloved and nostalgic one, is watching me with tender eyes.

But I don’t know who they are. Just who are you?

And even more importantly, who am I?

As if responding to my question, a man’s voice resonates from nowhere—

Place: ???

???: Good morning, Eve. Do you know who you are?

*enter MC’s name*

???: No, that is not your name, Eve. That is your real name.

Yui: Eve… so that’s my name…

Monologue

“Eve”… that name sounds somehow awfully familiar to me. As I moved my mouth, I repeated the name with each breath I took.

Place: ???

Yui: Eve… Eve… Eve…

Monologue

As I repeated the name, which is supposed to be mine, it gradually ingrained itself in my mind.

Place: ???

???: It is about time for you to wake up.

The story, you are taking place in, starts after the supreme ruler dies.

And soon, three different families will start a battle for you.

Monologue

Those prophetic words of wisdom he just said… I will cherish them as if they’re from the man I don’t remember the name of...

I will never doubt his words. After all, I still don’t know what this so-called “battle” will be about to begin with.

Which means, this said indestructible fiction has to eventually become true.

Place: ???

???: Let there be light...

Monologue

The same moment he said that, a ray of light appeared above my head. It might’ve been a weak one, but it wasn’t an illusion.

I tried reaching for that light.

And when I did so, I heard the beginning of a new game.

Place: Church — Inside

Yui: Nn...

(Ah, wait… where am I...?)

(There are huge statues lined up… they have the shapes of horses and towers, they actually look a lot chess pieces)

(And there are some beautiful stained glass windows in front of me too…)

(This building appears to be quite old, but it's not in bad conditions, it seems to be rather well maintained)

It gives off some kind of sacred atmosphere…

(If that’s so, could this place be… a church… ?)

(And if it is, was I sleeping on the… altar just now?)

But why am I even in this place to begin with… ?

*church bell rings*

Yui: Kyaaa!?

Was that the church bell… ? That really scared me…

???: It appears as if the seal has finally been broken. You made me wait quite a long time for your arrival.

Yui: Pardon… ?

Man with glasses: It was just as the folklore said, although your timing is quite inappropriate, but this does not matter.

As long as you were here in this church, there should be no mistake.

Yui: W-Who are you… ?

Yui: (He has a good appearance and he acts very polite, but the sharp look in his eyes is really scary)

Man with glasses: I will be leaving my introductions for later. Unfortunately, there is no time for me to do so now. You will have to come with me to our mansion first.

Yui: What do you mean by “mansion”... ? No, where even is this place anyway? And for what reason am I here—

Man with glasses: I see, it appears… as if “you do not know anything”.

*Reiji comes closer*

Yui: Kyaa!? L-Let me go!

Man with glasses: For now, I am unaware of you either acting or you speaking the truth.

But no matter what it is, that does not change the fact that you will be coming with me.

Yui: (Is he kidnapping me!? If so, I have to run away! But, the strength of his arm is so strong that I can’t seem to escape… ngh)

???: I can’t believe you’d ever do something this cruel to a girl.

*throws dagger*

Man with glasses: — Ngh!?

Man with fedora: You ended up narrowly dodging it just now. As expected from you, Reiji.

Yui: (Did a dagger just fly past me!? And the person who threw it was him… ?)

Reiji: Haa… as expected, there obviously are others who thought about the same thing as I did.

Not only did Laito, the messenger of the Violets, come here… but you also brought Kou along with you.

Kou: Ahha, so you did discover me. And here I thought I did a great job hiding my presence.

Yui: (Now there’s another person holding a dagger in front of me…)

(So the one currently holding my arm is called Reiji-san… and if I understood it correctly, those next to me are Laito-san and Kou-san?)

Kou: Say, can’t you simply give Eve to us? Carla-kun really wants her, you know.

Reiji: I refuse to do so. That is most certainly because I will be the next successor to become the supreme ruler.

Laito: Scarlet’s eldest son is really stingy, hm? Eve-chan’s surely thinking so too, right?

Yui: Eve…

(Oh, yeah, that’s my name… how come I forget that just now?)

(These people are the ones who are going to fight for Eve… for me, to be precise)

Reiji: If possible, I would have liked to finish this peacefully, but it cannot be helped if you are going to obstruct my way…

You should step back a little.

Yui: Ah…

*Reiji draws swords*

Reiji: Then I will be your opponent.

Laito: Oh? Now, isn’t that something? You’re behaving like a knight wanting to protect the princess.

Kou: True, true. After all, it’s already been decided that Eve will come to our mansion.

Say, Eve. That’s correct, right?

Yui: E-Even if you tell me that, I still don’t know anything about you…

Kou: You could learn plenty of us if you’d come with us then. With us, to our mansion, what do you think?

Yui: (This can’t be real, just what did I get myself into…)

*someone grabs Yui*

Yui: Ouch… !?

(Did someone just pull my arm!?)

???: The only one you’re going with is Yours Truly himself. You’ve got no other option than that anyway.

I’ll promise to treat you tenderly if you come with me. At least until I get bored, of course.

Yui: (Now there’s another person I don’t know… !)

Laito: Eh, you’ve come here too, Ayato?

Reiji: The third son of the Orange family… so in the end, it appears as if all of you invited themselves here, hm?

Eve has merely awakened, and the three families have already come here.

Yui: (Three families… ?)

Ayato: The seal of the church has been broken, so it’s obvious that I’d come to check out the situation.

And it was the right choice to come in here after all. It’s just exactly as the tradition says.

Yui: (Tradition, he says…)

Kou: “After the death of the supreme ruler, the seal of the church will be broken.”

“And if the sleeping Eve is woken up by a kiss, a new way will be open for a new supreme ruler”... isn’t that right?

Laito: It’s at least as the tradition of the sleeping princess says.

Yui: (A seal… tradition… and a supreme leader? I don’t understand, what are they talking about… ?)

Reiji: Apparently, you seem as if you do not understand any of what we are discussing indeed.

Kou: You’re acting as if you weren’t even aware of being Eve.

Ayato: Eh? Gimme a break already. Just how long do you think I’ve been waiting for you to come here!?

Laito: Well, she has been sleeping all this time, so it can’t be helped, right?

Seems as if we have to slowly fill you in with what’s necessary to know after this.

But in order for us to do that, we first of all have to get you out of this place.

Yui: Nn... !

(Did the atmosphere between those four just change… ?)

(They’re glaring at each other, and it almost feels as if their eyes are glowing. It might just be my imagination, but I feel as if their eyes are shining bright red…)

(No, more importantly, don’t tell me that the weapons they’re holding are real…)

Reiji: Shall we begin then?

Ayato: Tch, you’re finally speaking my language.

Kou: I wonder who’ll be the one obtaining Eve?

Laito: I guess this is the beginning of our battle—

Yui: Battle… !? Don’t tell me you’re seriously going—

*swords clash*

Yui: (The four of them are really clashing their swords with each other… no, I’m wrong—)

(I can only see three people fighting. Which means, one of them is missing… !)

*someone grabs Yui*

Yui: Kyaa!? W-Who is it? Please… let me go!

Monologue

Before I even became aware of it, there was a shadow approaching me.

I tried my very best to resist, but “his” arm wouldn’t let go of me for even a second.

I knew I got herewith captured by somebody.

And the one who caught me was—

[musicallisto]

Hello love,

Congratulations for the 800 followers! You absolutely deserve this and so much more! I'm happy to see how your blog grows and that you're still providing all of us with wonderful content. You're one of the first blogs that I've started to follow here on Tumblr and I'm so lucky to have found your blog ♡

As for your celebration event, could I please request a 🍨 vanilla milkshake with a male Peaky Blinders Character?

I'm more on the curvy side (and insecure about it) and I'm ALWAYS wearing black (which I love, no matter what others say or even more if they object). As for my personality, I'm a highly complex, paradox and complicated individium. I'm unbelievable patient, timid, awkward, kind, forgiving, open-minded, compassionate, thruthful, gentle and calm and I've been told that I have a calming effect on others, that I can easily ground anyone and anything, no matter how troubled their mind is. I prefer vintage over modern things. I think rather deep which often leads me to overthinking everything, which in turn leads me to doubting (very much) myself. You would be surprised how timid and reserved I am, I'm sure you wouln't notice me in a room full of people if it wouldn't be for my different appearance (but I like it this way). I'm always well-meaning, yet often misunderstood (maybe because it's hard for me to articulate myself). I can be incredible lazy, clumsy and forgetful. I've always felt like I don't really belong anywhere, so I've started to distance myself from others a while ago. I'm a outsider, weird, a dork, not normal, a loner and I fucking love it, because I like to be different, I would hate to fit into just one box and to be like everyone else. And I like people who are not ashamed to be their 100% true self, no matter how different that is from the mainstream. I'm the most loyal person you'll ever find, once you earn my trust, I'll always be on/by your side, no matter what. That says a lot, because I'm hard to scare away. Sometimes I feel alienated from the people and things surrounding me and I'm sure that I annoy and bore them. I'm very nervous and insecure around others, which is why I try to avoid people and why I'm not talking all that much around them (though, I'm a really good listener). I'm easily overwhelmed by large crowds and much light/noise, that's why I don't like to go outside, I prefer to cozy up at home. I would never intentionally hurt a animal and I'm not eating any meat, which is very important to me. I believe that there isn't a ounce of cruelty inside me. I'm unassuming and understanding, I only believe what I've witnessed on my own and I have endless acceptance for almost everything. Due to my Insomnia, I'm a night owl. I have strong personal values, am very opinionated and I'm really in-touch with myself and even though I'm extremly insecure, I would never reduce or change myself and views/opinions for someone and I neither have a problem to challenge authority and advocating for my beliefs. I'm a perfectionist and sometimes I really hate it. And, as you can see, I'm unable to be brief. My favourite colours are dark green, black, gold and dark purple. My greatest passion is music, even if I can't sing or play an instrument.(I prefer rock/punk/pop/80s/90s) It's the most calming and therapeutic thing when it comes to my anxiety and depression and I could never live a day without it. You will never see me in the street without headphones in my ears and even when I'm at home there's music playing almost all the time. I could talk for hours about music and what it means to me. And otherwise I love to watch films and series (I like fantasy, horror, psychological thriller, science fiction and psychological drama and almost anything from the 70s, 80s and 90s). I love rainy days and to go outside while it's pouring big, fat drops. What I love the most is to drive around without a destination, while talking and listening to music. And I love to spend time with my cat, if I could, I would have endless animals who live peacefully and loved with me. I enjoy to have deep talks and to be challenged to think. I love to take late-night-strolls, while gazing into the sky and watching the stars/moon. I have a fascination for dark and macabre things.

I really hope that's not too much? But thank you anyway ♡

Have a good day!

thank you so much for your kind words, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that I was one of the first blogs you followed ;; here’s your vanilla milkshake - and it’s also my first time writing for peaky blinders, but I hope it’s alright; and I hope finn shelby will find the portrait I paint of him accurate enough...

Birmingham was a drab and disheartening place enough without the war adding to its joylessness; but somehow the streets are even worse to bear deserted than when they’re bustling and fetid. Especially for a ten year old boy who wants nothing but to play with someone, to talk to someone, to see someone.

With his brothers off fighting somewhere in France and his aunt too busy with her businesses (adult stuff that Finn has absolutey no interest in attempting to understand), the youngest Shelby has been fighting off an affliction worse than consumption and measles, because much more insidious for a boy his age; boredom

and he’s so sad, so irrevocably sad, with no one to bruise his knees with and throw mud at, that he just aimlessly wanders the empty streets whenever aunt Polly isn’t looking, to find a semblance of stimulation

(he used to enjoy the solitude, it gave him time to imagine delirious stories in fantastical worlds and read the most enthralling of novels, but not anymore. four years of reclusion is an awfully long time for a little boy.)

and it’s during one of his escapades that he first meets you

you’re a little girl his age, dressed in a pretty dress, wearing pretty booties and holding a pretty little woven basket, but your face is stuck on the most grouchy frown he’s ever seen on a little girl, and you don’t walk, you stomp down the wet pavement like a wrathful titan

And it’s probably the first time in four years that he’s been this close to making a new friend, so he walks up to you, despite how rusty his communication skills have become

“Girls don’t frown. It’s unbecoming.”

(Yes, pretty rusty indeed; but in his defense, he’s ten, he’s bored, he’s lonely, and he’s only ever heard Ada say it, and Ada is the most level-headed of his siblings, so anything she says must be true, right?)

“Shut up.”

(Well, if it was unbecoming of you to frown, it’s even more to rebuff someone so rudely. You don’t even spare a glance and continue walking; he has to hurry to catch up to you.)

“You can’t say that. It’s a bad word.”

“How do you know that?”

“My family says it all the time, but they told me I can’t say it.”

“Well, my family is not your family. And I hate my family!”

You’ve yelled the last words at the sky, so loud that the crows on the neighboring roofs have taken off in a startled flight.

“They want to wear this stupid dress to go to the stupid market to buy stupid meat. I don’t even want to eat meat, that’s cruel! And I don’t even want to wear a frilly dress! I want to wear black!”

And in saying so you tugged at the pink and white ribbons that encircled your waist.

And Finn couldn’t help being extremely intrigued at this little girl who said bad words and refused to eat meet and wanted to wear black. It was the most exciting thing to ever happen in all the duration of the war.

“You want to wear a black dress?”

“Yes, but my mama won’t let me. She says it’s too sad because of the war. But black isn’t sad! Black is beautiful!”

“Maybe I could find you a black dress. I’m sure my sister must have one. Where do you live?”

And, loyal to his promise, the following morning he had run to your doorstep and snuck into your house - a proper Shelby talent, to be able to go unnoticed or make a ruckus depending on the occasion - with an old, crinkled mourning dress of Ada’s, that had probably belonged to his mother and had been mended several times

And it was obviously five sizes too big for you and you looked more like a ghost from one of Finn’s horror novels, your arms floating in the sleeves and the hem of the skirt pooling at your feet, but your smile was the brightest light he’d ever seen in this whole damn town.

“Do you like it?”

(He didn’t really know why he sounds so nervous. Maybe it was having a friend, a real friend, and doing something personal for them... or maybe it had to do with how fast his heart beat, watching you in that gigantic, shapeless dress)

“I love it! Thank you so much, Finn!”

From then on started one of the most wonderful friendships Finn would ever have, and what would bring a ray of light to the grim existence of a little boy in the midst of a global war

Despite the ration cards, despite the loneliness, despite the worry that tugged at his stoic aunt’s eyes for her son and nephews across the Channel... he found an unspeakable solace in your friendship

And one day, without a trace, you were gone

He knocked on your door; gone. He asked all the neighbors what had happened to the family that lived there; gone. He wrote you letters and sent them to the confines of England; gone. He got scolded by Polly for marking numbers at random on Tommy’s state-of-the-art telephone; gone.

Suddenly he was back to the bleak existence he had battled with before meeting you, and the hollow inside his chest only grew wider as the days went on, because he had no explanation as to what had happened to you, and worried every single day

Thankfully, the war ended not long after, and his brothers came back home, all alive and unscathed - well, for the most part

Fast forward more or less ten years, and much has changed in Finn Shelby’s life and in old Birmingham, but the memory of you still stugs at his heartstrings

One evening, he’s tasked by Arthur to run some errands, send a few messages, scout a few places; the most dangerous thing his older brothers will ever let him do

His task leads him to a bar in the center of town, one that pours its joyous light and music into the street outside; he’s there to meet with a client, arrange a meeting; nothing he’s hasn’t done already

But the evening takes a turn for the unexpected when he recognizes the girl sat alone at a table, enjoying the musicians’ jazz with an air of pure bliss on her face

It’s been ten years, of course, but... it’s unmistakable. That face, that silhouette, and the black ensemble from head to toe... and he’s always had a knack for remembering faces, especially those that mark him deeply

Suddenly he’s frozen on the spot, and he has forgotten why he came to the bar in the first place, what his target looks like - all he knows is you, and how beautiful you look in the dim light of the bar, and the undisclosed and unknown feelings he had for you at the time come flooding back.

Except this time, he understands, and he fears them, because he doesn’t have time for any of this, and it’s way too dangerous for you and him

But he can’t just pass you by and not say a word?

He swallows, hard.

And walks up to you.

“Y/N?”

You open your eyes, and your face flashes with recognition, and a little bit of pain as well. Even if you fled without a word, and left him hanging all these years, he’s incapable of rancor

“Finn... wow, you’ve changed so much.”

“You haven’t.”

He gestures at your face, your clothes, how you savor the music like the finest drink in the world, and you laugh and blush, sending his heart into overdrive

“Where were you all this time?”

“I’m so sorry, Finn... my brother died in the war, and... my mom sent me to live with my grandparents in Scotland. We were all destroyed by grief... I needed to get away.”

“Without explanation? Not even a word?”

“I wanted to write to you, so bad, but... I couldn’t remember your address. I couldn’t remember anything about Birmingham at all...”

He nods, slowly, in understanding.

The war opens wounds that never heal, even after all the most beautiful friendships and love stories in the world.

“But I’m really glad I found you.”

His heart is pounding in his throat. Maybe it’s a sign of destiny that he found you here, tonight, alone, and ready to welcome him back. Maybe it’s a word from fate, that you can never truly be apart.

So he takes the seat in front of you, and you smile, that shy but bright smile of yours, and he forgets all about his mission, his client, and his brothers.

They’ll have to understand.

800 follower sleepover

[purplebass]

Congratsss Awww yess more thomastair please❣️ if you have time, would you write Alastair’s pov in Paris?

Hi anon! Hoping this is not bad 💜

Couple/Characters: Thomastair, Thomas Lightwood and Alastair Carstairs

Rating: T 

Days Past: Paris, 1902 - Alastair’s POV

Alastair was sure he liked Paris at that time of the year. The air was not humid, the wind was not too chilly, even though it was cold. The streets were full of people at all times of the day, but he thought he could bear it if he would be with someone. He came to Paris expecting to find peace to be with him, only to find that he didn’t want to be seen in public in his company.  

Alastair had managed a grin when he told him that it was better they only saw each other behind closed doors, at his hotel. He had pretended that it was alright, when it was not. After all, he was just asking for a bit of his time. He wouldn’t have done anything to harm his image outside. He just wanted to catch up and to visit places together like tourists, which he had never truly been, but Alastair ended up going to the famous Librairie Galignani alone, and cold.

He had found solace in a book, and was focused on the reading and someone caught his attention at the door, when a tall guy entered the waste space full of books. He squinted at the newcomer, astonished and surprised, unable to tell himself if he was under the effect of the tale he was reading and was mistaking fiction for reality - it was a Gothic novel, after all - or if the person who had just crossed the threshold of Galignani was who he thought he was.

Alastair hadn’t meant to stare longer than it was acceptable, but for some reason, he couldn’t tear his eyes off the tall guy. Calling him guy was a euphemism. He was a guy indeed, but despite being the same age as him, Thomas Lightwood looked more like a man than a teenager. Somehow, he felt threatened. Not because of his height, but for the aura Thomas carried with him once he entered the library. If Thomas had been a painting, he would have been one of the water lilies series by Monet. Monet didn’t just paint one rendition of water lilies, because he wanted to study the flowers under different lights and circumstances. It was weird to think about Thomas like a flower, but in a way, he had been. When he first met him at the Academy, he hadn’t bloomed yet, but now…

Alastair put the book he was reading back on the shelf when he saw Thomas make eye contact with him and waved. Thomas Lightwood waved at him. He hoped that he didn’t register the confusion and the shock that passed over him in the matter of seconds. Alastair was usually very good at hiding his emotions and feigning diffidence and interest. But the shock of seeing Thomas again, taller and - he didn’t know how to put it, fascinating? Attracting? - was making him panic. He didn’t know how to interpret it, since the only person who had managed to do that had been him. But he had also managed to make him cry, so Alastair tried to calm down before Thomas reached him and would acknowledge these emotions. At least, seeing someone he knew made him feel less alone. He would soon discover if he would also feel welcome by this old stranger.

Alastair, caught off guard by Thomas’ arrival, said the first thing that came to his mind. The first thing he had thought barely a few minutes earlier. He commented on his height, but what could he have said? Ah, he also added that this was probably Thomas’ revenge for how he treated him during their years at the Academy. Thomas didn’t seem too convinced about his greeting either, and for a moment, he thought that he would turn and leave him.

You don’t need him, Alastair told himself, prepared for rejection. Even if he decides to go, you have your book. And soon, you will meet… “What are you doing in Paris?” Thomas asked instead, and Alastair’s attention was back on him.

“What are you doing in Paris?” he countered, and killed a sigh. It sounded more like an interrogation than an acquaintance asking a question. Acquaintances? Were they? In a way, they were. They had known each other for a while, before Thomas decided to spend more time with his friends. Alastair remembered he had been hurt a bit, but what could he expect?

He tried to erase those memories from his mind, and went on. He could still salvage this. He could still try. “Do you want to come to the Louvre?”

Alastair’s heart pounded faster in his chest, but he had no idea why. Was he anxiously waiting for Thomas’ answer? He tried to school his features not to let him know how hard it had been for him to ask such an ordinary question. A simple question which could have only two outcomes. He could say yes or he could say no.

Thomas’ answer eventually came. It was positive. He had agreed. Alastair tried not to show any emotion, but the truth was that he felt appeased. The ice had been broken, and this afternoon was getting more interesting than he predicted.

So, they went to the museum. Alastair had been to Paris several times, and this wasn’t the first time he had been to the Louvre. He never told Thomas that he had already seen each piece more than once, and that asking him to come was just an excuse to spend more time with him. He couldn’t wait to see the new additions, though, and thought odd that his companion for this adventure would be Thomas instead of the other person he had pictured to be with him that day. And he didn’t mind, because Thomas was a delightful presence to be with.

Alastair had never realized how smart and kind he was. At some point, he went even as far as to tell him some things he thought about some of the paintings exhibited. And even asked for his opinion, which made Alastair feel strange, because no one had gone so far safe for his sister Cordelia. He had never felt like this in the presence of another man, and this feeling unsettled him and put a smile on his face at the same time. He had felt out of place often, but here, in Paris with Thomas, everything seemed right. Perhaps because it was Paris. Perhaps not. He would not know until later, when he would have to part with him.

Surprisingly, a few hours later after dining together, they didn’t run out of things to say. Thomas talked, and Alastair listened. And when it was Alastair’s turn to say things about his travels in different places, Thomas wasn’t bored to listen to him. If any, he was curious. Nobody had ever been curious about Alastair’s life. On the other hand, the majority of people he was forced to interact with at the Academy seemed to mock the way his family had lived until then. Alastair was mad at his father Elias for making him live such a life, but on the other side, at least these frequent relocations gave him the chance to see the world. And so far, he had never met someone like Thomas Lightwood.

Was he going to stay in his world, or was he going to be a mirage like everyone else?

Alastair didn’t want to think about it, so he kept telling his stories to Thomas, until they were out of time. Thomas had just told him that he wanted to get a tattoo, and he had asked where. It was an innocent question, something a friend would ask. Even not a friend. Someone who was engaged in the conversation, and Alastair certainly was.

“Where on your arm?” he wondered, and Thomas showed him without adding more. And in that moment, Alastair lost control of his mind and reached for the spot on Thomas’ skin. Something he would have never thought of doing years ago, a few hours ago. But he did. It was an instinctual gesture, one that you do naturally, casually. Something intimate?

Alastair would later admit to himself that he sought human touch in that moment. Not just human. He wanted to touch Thomas’ skin, to see if he was as delicate as he seemed to be on the outside. He realized he had been too forward, maybe, and slowly retreating his hand. If Thomas had been bothered, he didn’t show it.

“I think it’s late,” he said before silence would settle and destroy whatever they had created until then. “Don’t you think?”

Thomas just nodded, and Alastair asked for the bill. He decided that he would pay. Not only because he had had a good time, but also because it was a way to show Thomas that whatever had happened during the Academy, it was in the past. He felt like Thomas also knew, otherwise, he wouldn’t have accepted his invite earlier that day, would he? Thomas was not a liar. He would never be in the company of someone he detested, let alone enjoy himself.

The evening had come to an end, and Alastair had forgotten about the other person. It was partly thanks to Thomas, and he wished the day would be longer. He wanted to talk more, he…

“Look, this may sound out of place coming from me, but,” Alastair began, trying to be as honest as possible. He only had this chance. “I would like to show you something else, if you want?” He didn’t sound too hopeful, lest he would reject him this time. He had already agreed once, he wasn’t sure he would still have luck by his side. Luck was never by his side, yet, Thomas said yes.

“Why not,” Thomas replied, which made Alastair feel lighter.

“See you tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow.”

And tomorrow came. Alastair took Thomas to one of his favorite places. The movie theatre, which was sure would surprise him. And it did. Thomas looked like a child as he watched Le voyage dans la lune. Even this time, Alastair didn’t tell him he had already been there, looking for a distraction while the person he was waiting for couldn't be with him. Again. He had found solace in the newness of the movie. And now, after spending another day with Thomas, Alastair reveled at the novelty of how easy and simple was to be with him.

But like all good things, even their time came to an end. It must. Paris felt like an alternate reality. He wondered if this feeling would last outside of it, or if Paris’ spell would be broken once they would see each other again in London. He hoped that the former would happen.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Alastair confessed. “But there is London,” he added, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Thomas’ expression changed for a moment. It was quick, but it was there. Surprise. But also, glee. He seemed content. “Yes, I understand,” he replied. “I mean, yes, we will see each other in London, I guess.”

Alastair managed a grin, which was unusual to him. “Well, then,” he said, but Thomas stopped him. He extended his hand, and Alastair didn’t know what to do. It would have been awkward not to have shook his hand, so he did.

Thomas’ hand was cold due to the temperature. If this had been another occasion, and Thomas another person, he would have probably held his hand between his to warm them up. But they didn’t have this relationship. They weren’t friends either. Alastair lingered for a moment and then let his hand go. Thomas also seemed to feel the loss, and Alastair was confused by the way he had behaved around him those two days. He had seemed caring. He had been caring. And he had been honest, as honest as he could have been, even if he didn’t tell Thomas everything. And he wouldn’t go as far as to analyze why, when their skin touched, he was stunned.

  “Well, goodbye Carstairs,” Thomas finally said, breaking the moment.

“Goodbye, Lightwood. Try not to get any taller. You’re starting to be off-putting in the other direction.”

Alastair turned without adding more, deciding to sever this conversation before he wouldn’t be able to leave anymore and he would stay one more day. He bit his lip. Damn his tongue. Damn his temper. But it was too late. He was going, and Thomas was staying. He would mull about what had happened between them later, when he would wish to find him at an event and he wouldn’t be there. For now, his only friend would be this sense of loss in his heart, because he knew he would be alone that night. Perhaps less alone than he did yesterday, but lonely no less. He wished that at least he had found a new friend, but he would only know in London.

[geridrabble]

On magic systems: The soul, and normalized magic

Recently, I’ve somewhat gotten into Guilty Gear. I’ve started playing Strive (Admittedly poorly), fell in love with the character designs, and followed the lore- a ridiculous, hyper-complex, batshit crazy tale that only a Japanese anime-inspired fighting game by someone who loves western rock music could make.

And it was when I was watching the finals of Guilty Gear Xrd: Revelator 2 that I was suddenly struck with the want to develop another magic system, as high level players pulled off stunts I couldn’t begin to understand, and beautiful particle effects flew all over the screen.

(If you haven’t seen a guilty gear game in motion, go watch some. They’re beautiful.)

Mainstream Magic

The magic system in Guilty Gear is... Nebulous, and not really thoroughly explained. Which is fine, considering that the suspension of disbelief required to even enjoy Guilty Gear’s story definitely covers that, and it is ultimately just a fighting game at heart- you wouldn’t want to be unable to implement some sort of mechanic because of the restraints of your magic.

But the one thing that actually intrigued me about it was that magic was... Normal. Guilty Gear’s world has completely abolished technology and implemented magical alternatives everywhere, meaning that... It’s just a normal part of life for everyone in that world, which usually isn’t seen in fiction. Harry Potter comes close, but it’s still a restricted, special world that only certain people are privy to. Magic is always hidden, or restricted to specific individuals, or limited in some other way.

So I wanted to create a world where magic can and is used by anyone, where being a mage is less of a specific skill and something that everyone is in some way. But, how would I justify that? Where exactly does magic... Come from?

Soul and the Gravity of Want

In this world, the development of magical aptitude is a normalized stage of child development, just like walking or talking. If your child hasn’t begun casting a spell or two as they grow up... Something is probably wrong.

That’s because magic comes from the soul- and more specifically, someone’s want. When you want something desperately, reality changes and a very basic spell is born.

Someone can acquire a spell over long periods of time- maybe a person is always busy, so they subconsciously create a spell that makes their work easier or accelerates their movement. Or, they can be created instantly, like if someone feels their life is in danger and desperately wants their attacker anywhere but here. But it’s the job of the Ego (The name for a Caster) to recognize when they’ve learned a new spell, and then shape it into something less formless and more useful. Tuning the effect, what it takes to cast it, until it becomes a spell that they rely on constantly.

But no matter how much someone tinkers with a spell, they cant make it into something that they don’t want- for instance, unless someone actively finds themselves in combat or wishes harm upon other people, most people wouldn’t be able to make a spell specifically designed for combat.

The Building Blocks of Every Spell

Every spell needs a trigger, or an action to begin the spell- Anything from a single thought, to a complex dance or intricate set of sigils, and a Catalyst, or something that must be consumed for the spell to activate. There are no specific materials that must be used as catalysts, nor specific actions used as triggers- Just as spells form from the Ego’s desires, catalysts and triggers are completely subjective to that individual.

The more powerful or complex your spell, the more time-consuming or intricate your trigger, and the more costly your catalyst- but the metric by which these things are weighted vary from person to person. The catalyst has to be something that the Ego finds valuable, or at least perceives as valuable- and the trigger has to be something that they see as hard to do. For different people, different triggers would be optimal. For instance- the last photograph of someone’s mother might be completely useless for someone who has no relation to that person, but for a person who does, it would be tremendously useful.

There’s a lot of nuance to this system, enough so that I’ve filled up pages upon pages about it in one of my notebooks- But it would probably just end up being pretty boring pasted here.

That’s it for today! Tomorrow, I’ll be elaborating a bit more on what this system would be like in use, and how mages would theoretically fight one another.

Toodles!

[theshatteredrose]

Relic Keepers: Awakening of the Red Lily (Chapter 30) - Original Fiction

AN: Ok, back to the main plotline for this story. Hope you enjoy~

Ao3 | Wattpad | Inkitt | FictionPress

~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 30:

It was early morning as Eishirou and Zayne discussed how they should spend Eishirou’s second day off. And whether they should have breakfast at the academy or perhaps find another place to try out as they had wandered past a few cafes during their walk yesterday.

But all discussions stopped when Eishirou’s communicator rang.

He wasn’t surprised to find Jacob’s name flickering across the screen. He was, however, rather concerned when he noted that his expression was that of a serious nature.

“Eishirou, I know it’s your day off, but I would like you and Zayne to join us for a conference.”

“Conference?”

“About the Red Lily.”

Jacob’s blunt response caused Eishirou to share a brief look of concern with Zayne before he turned his attention back to his communicator. He immediately wanted to know if something had happened while he was away, but he knew that Jacob wouldn’t answer him. He would learn everything during the conference.

“When is it?”

“In the next half hour, Conference Room 4,” Jacob replied. “I know its sudden, but the sooner the better, we believe.”

“Ah, sure,” Eishirou responded. “We’ll see you soon.”

With the conference so soon, they couldn’t slip out to get some breakfast. They would need to wait until after. That was fine to Eishirou. His mind was busy reeling as he tried to conjure up theories as to why Jacob felt it necessary to conduct a conference so soon.

He couldn’t help but feel that something had happened. Either with the Red Lily, or to the relic. A member of Star Rebellion must have attempted to steal it again.

Well, there was little good in staying put and pondering. He and Zayne needed to get themselves ready for the conference.

It was just ten minutes later that Eishirou and Zayne found their way to the conference rooms. They had arrived early, but they weren’t the first. Members of Zayne’s team, Elite Team 3, were already gathered outside the room.

Eishirou was momentarily surprised to see them, though soon reasoned with himself that Jacob had requested their presence due to their involvement with him. And likely their knowledge of what occurred previously in Flutterlight Forest.

Ernesta was the first to notice their arrival and quickly turned in their direction, that placid smile of hers on her lips. “There you are. Good morning.”

Before Eishirou could return a greeting of his own, Rinka unexpectedly hurried over to him and looked up at him with wide eyes. “A-are you ok?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Eishirou replied reassuringly, even as his shoulder twinged in pain. “Just a few bruises now.”

Rinka tilted her head questioningly to the side. “You can’t heal yourself?”

That question floored Eishirou and he rubbed the back of his neck. “W-well, no. Medics can’t necessarily heal themselves.”

“What? Really?” Zayne both questioned and demanded, his voice a mix of surprise and protectiveness.

Eishirou immediately turned and raised his hands in a pacifying gesture. “W-we do have a higher healing rate. So, these bruises will fade in a couple of days. Nothing to worry about.”

Zayne wasn’t convinced however. He was likely wondering why a medic would be out on the field or on the front line when they could heal everyone but themselves. And, honestly, that was a good question. The truth was, Elites were meant to ensure that medics did not receive any injuries.

That was why medics were on the top rung of the Academy Hierarchy.

Though, what would happen if a medic was injured while out in the field, he didn’t know. Panic and run?

…Like Team 3 had to do with him?

Zayne appeared as if he wanted to ask him more questions regarding the matter when his gaze flickered over the top of Eishirou’s head to something behind him. He seemed to disregard whatever it was he was looking at before he did a double take.

“Why is he here?” he muttered, his brow furrowing.

Eishirou immediately turned to look behind him as he asked; “Something wrong?”

His gaze soon landed on two men as they walked together toward them. One man he recognised to be Professor Sigmund. The other man, about middle age with short, messy dark grey hair, narrow blue eyes, and an eagle tattoo on his throat was unknown to him. His features were as hard and chiselled as Sigmund’s, indicating that he was likely that of a Veteran Elite.

For some reason, the man reminded him a little of Zayne. The jawline, the nose…

“That man with Sigmund,” Zayne said. “He’s my father, Cadmus.”

“Oh,” was all Eishirou could manage as the two men reached them and stopped.

He couldn’t help but feel anxious when Zayne’s father, Cadmus, turned his gaze toward Zayne. The man was intimidating (all Veteran Elites were to be honest) and Eishirou subconsciously took a step back. He wasn’t sure how the two family members would react, so he had to admit he was a little bit curious.

As far as he knew, Zayne hadn’t had contact with his parents since arriving at the academy. Eishirou would speak with Jacob at least once a day. And he would always greet him warmly should they have been unable to see each other for a few days. A hug, a pat on the head; that sort of thing.

Instead of any of that, however, Cadmus gave Zayne a curt smile as he made his way to stand before him. “Zayne.”

Zayne shoved a hand into his pocket as he raised the other in a quick wave. “Hey.”

“How have you been? Settling into the role of a student?”

“Yeah, not bad. Training gets boring after a while.”

“Hm. I’ve heard much about your exploits within the academy.”

Zayne gave a truly careless shrug. “I could do a lot worse.”

The conversation wasn’t terse or awkward, yet it wasn’t exactly warm. Cadmus appeared to be a very stoic, professional man. Much like Sigmund was.

“The role of a bodyguard is not something I had anticipated for you, though,” Cadmus stated suddenly. His gaze then shifted to look directly at Eishirou, prompting him to tense. His gaze was steely, his expression stoic as he spent a moment simply studying him. “You must be the Passive called Eishirou?”

“Y-yes, that’s right,” Eishirou stuttered as he bowed his head forward slightly in politeness. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Cadmus continued to study him. “I’ve heard much about you, too.”

Eishirou wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that. “O-oh…?”

“Ah, Eishirou.”

Thankfully, the sound of Jairus’s voice calling out to him gave Eishirou the excuse to silently step away from the intimidating stare of Cadmus. And he turned to look down the hall to watch as Jairus rolled toward them in his wheelchair.

“How are you feeling?” Jairus asked him with a small smile. “Your injuries healing well?”

“Oh, they’re healing just fine, thank you,” Eishirou answered, though a little sheepishly because of the attention. “Bruises are lingering, though. Did Jacob ask you to join the conference, too?”

Jairus nodded his head. “Yes, Professor Chryses personally requested that I join this conference. And it seems I’m not the only one. Nevertheless, I am relieved to know that your injuries hadn’t been far worse.”

Eishirou could only agree. “Yeah.”

Before anything more could be said between the two, a very loud and very cheerful greeting was heard from the end of the hall.

“Hey~! Good morning!”

Eishirou didn’t need to look over to know who was loudly introducing themselves. But he looked anyway and gave the blond-haired professor a smile. “Morning, Irwin.”

Irwin all but ignored everyone else as he wandered straight over to Eishirou and leaned forward to get in his face. “Hey now. How was your day off?” he asked with a truly mischievous smile.

Eishirou promptly remembered the teasing he and Jacob gave him through the communicator and blushed a deep red. He also couldn’t help but bristle. “None of your business!”

“Aww, don’t be like that,” Irwin half whined.

He suddenly turned to look to Eishirou right. Where Zayne stood silently, his father not far from him. Once again ignoring everyone else, Irwin made his way to stand before Zayne. And gave him that same up-close and personal greeting.

“Oh, and you must be the famous Zayne! I don’t believe we’ve properly met, have we?” His eyes abruptly narrowed and he held his chin in a deep, contemplative manner. “Hmm…”

Zayne blinked, unsure of what to do. “Something on my face?” he asked instead.

Eishirou promptly struck Irwin’s arm with the back of his hand. “Say anything and I will stab you with a fork,” he warned.

Irwin promptly released a very hearty laugh. “Hey now, I’ll be good,” he playfully promised as he held his hands in surrender and stepped back.

Of course, from the smile on his lips, it was only a matter of time before he stopped being “good”.

Thankfully, Jacob appeared before Irwin had the chance to say or do anything else. He quickly turned professional, though still wore a lopsided grin on his lips as Jacob approached the small gathering.

“Ah, good, everyone is here,” he said, a bundle of files and a tablet under one arm, while his other hand held a key card for the room. “Let’s get this started, shall we?”

Jacob stepped into the room first and everyone filed behind him. A large oval table sat in the middle of the room, a projection screen on one wall. Jacob moved toward the head of the table and dropped his belongs, prompting his guests to take their seats.

Zayne was forced to sit with his teammates along one side of the table, while Eishirou sat on the other with the professors. However, they both chose to sit directly across from each other at the head of the table.

“Thank you all for coming,” Jacob began. “Most of you know why you're here, so I'll make this introduction brief. We're here because of this; the Red Lily.”

A tap on his tablet brought up a photo of the relic on the screen behind him.

“A relic discovered in a forested island we’re calling Flutterlight Forest. A relic that the extremist group, the Star Rebellion, seems intent on getting their hands on. For what purpose, we do not know. But it’s safe to say that if they get their hands on it and find a way to activate it, a lot of people could be in danger. So, needless to say, we need to find out what kind of power this relic possesses and how to use it, before the Star Rebellion does.”

Eishirou shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Did…something happen yesterday?” he could help but ask.

Surprisingly, it was Sigmund who answered from the back of the room. “A few members of Star Rebellion were seen around the premises of the museum.”

“And the Red Lily?”

“Is safe,” Jacob answered with a small smile. “Teams of Elites have been patrolling the grounds. No incidents have occurred inside.”

Eishirou breathed a small sigh of relief. Though, he winced a moment later when a twinge of pain erupted from his shoulder. He was still relieved to know that no one else of the museum of from the research crew were confronted or harmed.

“What do we know of this relic?” Cadmus asked, promptly returning to the task at hand.

Jacob tapped at his tablet once more. “From the pieces of information we have discovered, we can safely assume that an ancient tribe once resided on that island. And they worshipped the Red Lily as a holy relic. How it came to be, we don't know. But we can speculate on how old it could be. By carbon dating the runestone that spoke of the Red Lily, we estimate it to be approximately between f to ten-thousand years old.”

Eishirou’s eyes widen in surprise and he sat up straight in his chair. “That old?”

“It honestly surprised me, too,” Jacob stated. “To think that something that old survived the elements, let alone the Bombardment.”

“It must be really powerful…” Eishirou murmured.

Zayne suddenly raised a hand to gain Jacob’s attention. “Hey, I got a question.”

“Hm?”

“What’s up with that watch tower?” he asked bluntly as he dropped his arm to instead drape over the back of his chair. “You say that the Red Lily is somewhere between five to ten thousand years old. That tower certainly doesn’t look it.”

“Hm,” Jacob murmured as he brought up a photo that Eishirou had taken of the tower. “Good question.”

“I had wondered that, too,” Eishirou admitted as he gazed up at the photo. “The Red Lily was definitely discovered there. And it’s linked to it through the mosaics. And it had a strange lock on the door that required a key and the solving of a puzzle, so it was created to guard something. But there is little doubt that the Red Lily belong to an ancient tribe. Recordings I had viewed from mosaics clearly point to this.”

Jacob nodded. “I'm going to suggest that since the Red Lily is adorned with jewels, it was herald as a treasure. Treasure hunters and tomb raiders were likely to have gone after it. It would have been classed as an artefact to past archaeologists. Could even have been a family heirloom at one point. Passed around from person to person. Through generation to generation. It either made its way to someone who’s part of a religious sect, who in turned built the tower for a place of worship.”

“Or even an eccentric historian who made such a place for a tourist attraction,” Irwin added casually from his seat next to Eishirou. “Even though the last civilisation saw themselves as rational and fact-driven, they were still human. And humans like to make money.”

“Indeed. It's safe to say that the Red Lily has passed through many hands. And witnessed centuries of events. That tower is likely the last reincarnation for the Red Lily,” Jacob concluded.

“So, if the Red Lily is around or even over ten-thousand years old, then that’s a lot of memories,” Zayne mused aloud.

Eishirou’s eyes widen in realisation from Zayne’s words. He placed his hands atop of the table and abruptly pushed himself to his feet. “Ah, that’s right!” he said as he quickly turned to look toward Jairus who sat on the other side of Irwin. “Professor Jairus, do you think that’s the reason why I haven’t been able to access recordings?”

Jairus rested his elbows on the armrests of his chair and folded his hands in front of him. “Hm.” He didn’t answer immediately, taking a few moments to himself to mull over the question.

After a bout of silence, Jairus nodded his head. “Yes, that sounds reasonable. This relic is vastly different to those we have worked with in the past. Most relics have a singular use, like that of the Sound Orb. But even then, not everyone who placed their hands upon the relic could safely use it.”

“I hear that Eishirou is able to use both,” Tatsu commented, seemingly idly.

It was likely due to Eishirou’s discomfort around the elite, but he could have sworn there was a hint of suspicion in his voice.

Jacob nodded his head once more, prompting Eishirou to sit back down. “Yes, that is why our best course of action is to help Eishirou discover a way to connect with or contact the sentinel being within the Red Lily.”

Eishirou was slightly surprised to hear that. So…this entire conference was because of him and for his benefit?

From where she sat in the middle of her team, Ernesta tilted her head to the side. “Sentinel being?”

Jairus was the one who chose to answer that question. “The mana stored within this relic is so refined that it had taken on a form of consciousness. It is entirely possible that the white-haired being Eishirou interacted with during a mediation was the one who created the relic. And thus, infused their consciousness or soul within.”

“So, this thing is kinda alive?” Leon asked, sounding both confused and incredulous.

“Yes, in a way,” Jairus replied. “And for that reason, we must find information on what conditions are needing to be met before Eishirou himself can access the power stored within.”

“Must a Passive be the one to do so?”

Jacob immediately turned his gaze in Sigmund’s direction. “Yes,” he said, quite sternly. “Eishirou has already connected with it, as we have just discussed. It has been largely thanks to him that we know the information that we do.”

Eishirou felt himself blush at the small compliment.

“I understand that,” Sigmund replied. “But will he be able to withstand the mana stored inside. It won't come to a cost to him?”

That question caused Eishirou to wince. Did…did he know about what happened at the tower?

He probably did. Ernesta, as team leader, was responsible for reporting back to Sigmund after every mission. She would have had to have told him everything that occurred. Everything that she knew off and understood, at least.

Jacob sighed, conceding to Sigmund’s reasonable observations. “I'm afraid I can't safely answer that. That is why I've asked Professor Jairus to join us. Is there anything else you would like to add?”

Jairus nodded his head once more. “I do, actually. I have done my own research with the Red Lily. And I have not been able to contact the sentinel being within. And I believe I’m not meant to. My vibrational frequency does not match with the relics.”

Eishirou furrowed his brow. “Mine does?”

“Far more closely than mine,” Jairus returned. “However, your vibrational energy does not match it completely. In order to experience the true potential of the Relic, I believe that you will need to raise you own vibrational energy. The more you strengthen your energy, the more energy you will be able to access from the Red Lily. And, potentially strengthen your own innate skills.”

That…sounded completely reasonable. Raising the level of his own innate abilities was something he was more than willing to attempt. But it certainly didn’t sound easy.

“How do I do that?”

Jairus kept his elbows on his armrests as he leaned back into his wheelchair. “Normally, I would recommend mediation and energy field work. But I don't think that will be enough. Which leads us straight back to what the sentinel being within the Red Lily had stated. We need to learn the role of a Keeper.”

“We've beaten around the bush long enough,” Irwin suddenly, and loudly, stated. “The fact of the matter is; Eishirou is the one who needs to either return to Flutterlight Forest or visit Keeper’s Isle to gather more information for us to work with.”

Really? He was able to return that soon? What about the missing Elites? Were they still searching for them?

Before Eishirou to ask the numerous questions bouncing around in his head, Sigmund spoke up.

“So, everything hinges on this one Passive?”

Sigmund’s voice was stoic, impassive, but there was some kind of…negativity hidden in those words. It wasn’t disgust or anything of that nature. But there was something there. He was insinuating something.

…Perhaps worried that a weak little Passive like him was key and critical part of the mission.

“So, what if it does?” Zayne suddenly asked, his voice holding an accusatory tone. “If there are ShadowDwellers, I'll destroy them. If there are extremists, I'll beat the shit out of them. I'll be the one on the battlefield. He'll do his job as a researcher while I do mine as an Elite. There is no problem here.”

The room fell silent as Sigmund stared directly at Zayne. And Zayne held the stare with one of his own. A stare off between the two was soon initiated, causing a light tension to fall over the other occupants.

Surprisingly, it was Sigmund who looked away first, choosing to turn his gaze back toward Jacob. “Well then, let’s move on to what this mission will entail.”

From his seat next to Sigmund, Cadmus nodded his head. “Hm. First and foremost, I'll be leading this mission.”

Every member of Team 3 turned in surprise toward Cadmus, Zayne the one to be the most outwardly shocked. “You?”

“I have first-hand experience of that island,” Cadmus returned simply. “That is the reason why I am here. ShadowDwellers take a different form, but are just as aggressive.”

First-hand experience? Was he…part of Irwin’s crew or had he been a part of the search and rescue team searching for those missing Elites?

Jacob took a moment to tap at his tablet to bring up an image of a half-drawn map. A map that Eishirou himself didn’t automatically recognise. “This mission will focus on finding information. Eishirou will be the one to search for any runestones or monuments that could offer information on the Red Lily. Or this Keeper. Find information, document it, and then get out. Two or three days at most.”

“What’s our location?” Ernesta asked. “And when do we leave?”

“Keepers Island. And tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?!

Jacob carried on, heedless of the surprise from not only Eishirou, but the members of Team 3 as well. “I would join, but I would only get in the way. This mission is important.”

His expression turned unnaturally serious and he gave each member of the mission a pointed looking, starting with Cadmus. “And needless to say, Eishirou's safety is critical. Don't let anything happen to him.” His gaze fell upon Zayne and a curious expression of sternness and pleading appeared on his face.

“We're counting on you, Zayne.”

Zayne nodded his head without hesitation, his eyes narrow with determination. “I will do whatever it takes to protect him.”

Eishirou felt his cheeks heat up in a blush and his heart skipped a beat at the sheer seriousness of Zayne’s voice. Yet, he found it reassuring and comforting.

And he couldn’t help but smile.

[poetlcs]

books I’ve read in 2020 (so far) + their ratings

non-fiction

crossing the line: australia’s secret history in the timor sea by kim mcgrath: important research into australia’s theft of oil in timor leste. didn’t rate

hood feminism: notes from the women that a movement forgot by mikki kendall: essay collection dissecting modern feminism, pointing out the exclusionary practices of mainstream feminism and offering new frameworks through which feminism should operate. really recommend. didn’t rate

the uninhabitable earth: life after warming by david wallace-wells: good introduction to environmentalism and the climate disaster. a little too introductory for me but good for those new to the topic. ★★★

homo deus: a brief history of tomorrow by yuval noah harari: it is simply not Sapiens nor as good as Sapiens. Looks at potentials for our future but, thought it was a little poorly researched. Some parts were still interesting though.  ★★★

SPQR: a history of ancient rome by mary beard: a little dense at times, but super interesting and detailed look at ancient rome. enjoyed it a lot. ★★★★

sister outsider by audre lorde: collection of audre lorde’s essays and speeches, about feminism, lesbianism, the queer community, being Black and a lesbian ect ect. outstanding, important collection anyone interested in intersectional feminism must read. ★★★★★

all boys aren’t blue by george m. johnson: memoir about johnson’s experiences growing up as a Black gay boy in a poor neighbourhood. Very poignant memoir, written in such accessible language which I liked. guarenteed to get you emotional, another one everyone should read. didn’t rate because it’s so highly personal that felt wrong but highly recommend. 

under a biliari tree i born by alice biari smith: memoir by an Aboriginal Australian detailing her life growing up learning traditional Aboriginal ways and how the lives of Indigenous Australian’s have been impacted through the years, specifically in Western Australia. Probably more aimed at school age people but still a 101 I think many Australian’s (and non Australian’s) can benefit from. didn’t rate 

classics

maurice by e.m forster: gay man coming of age story in college + themes around class and sexuality. forster’s end note saying he thought it imperative to write a happy ending because we need that in fiction, i love him. ★★★★★

emma by jane austen: read before seeing the movie. loved emma as a character but thought this was okay compared to other Austen I’ve read. ★★★½

perfume by patrick suskind: a man with an incredible sense of smell starts murdering young women to try and bottle their scent for a perfume. weirdest shit I ever read still don’t know how to feel about it. ★★★

the color purple by alice walker: follows the life of Celie, an Black woman living in rural Georgia. deals with her relationship with her sister Nettie, her lover Shug Avery, and with God. this tore my heart to shreds absolutely everyone must read it, like even just for the beautiful writing ALONE. ★★★★

a study in scarlet by arthur conan doyle: its sherlock holmes #1 no further explanation required. not my fave sherlock story, was the weird morman subplot needed? ★★½

dracula by bram stoker: yeah vampires!! this was way easier to read and also way funnier than I expected. we STAN gothic aesthetics and Miss Mina Harker here. ★★★★

fantasy

the diviners by libba bray: teens with magical powers/abilities solving mysteries in 1920′s new york. reread. ★★★★★

lair of dreams by libba bray: the diviners #2. reread. ★★★★½

before the devil breaks you by libba bray: the diviners #3. reread. best one in the series hands down.  ★★★★★

the king of crows by libba bray: waited so long for this series ender and it let me down lol. ★★★

clockwork princess by cassandra clare: the infernal devices #3. dont @ me this is my comfort reread series and I was travelling. ★★★★★

we unleash the merciless storm by tehlor kay mejia: we set the dark on fire #2. latinx inspired fantasy about overthrowing a corrupt government with an f/f romance. didn’t like as much as book one but still good, BEST girlfriends ever. ★★★½

wolfsong by t.j klune: basically feral gay werewolves and witches living in a town together. feels like a teen wolf episode but way more gayer. despite that hated the writing style and I don’t like age gap romances so yay the concept no the execution.  ★★

the fate of the tearling by erika johansan: the tearling #3. finally finished this series, dunno why everyone loathes the ending so much I thought it was cool. underrated fantasy because it’s very unique. ★★★★

girl, serpent, thorn by melissa bashardoust: persian inspired fantasy about a girl who is cursed by a div to kill anyone she touches. has an f/f romance. bashardoust writes the most aesthetically rich settings I love her. ★★★★

crier’s war by nina varela: reread. f/f enemies to lovers where the main character poses as a handmaiden in order to try and murder the princess whose father killed her family. PEAK gay content literally a modern classic. ★★★★★

we hunt the flame by hafsah faizal: I was so disinterested in this book I barely can describe the plot but basically it’s a prince and a hunter who are enemies but are forced to go looking for this magical artifact together anyway it was boring.  ★

ghosts of the shadow market by cassandra clare + others: short story collection set in the shadowhunter world. probably the strongest of her collections but they just don’t hit the same as her full length books. didn’t rate. 

a storm of swords: part two by george r.r martin: a song of ice and fire #3. I WILL finish reading these books eventually i swear !! probably the best one yet though. ★★★★

amarah by l.l mcneil: world of linaria #3. high fantasy with politics, dragons, warring races. tolkein/asoiaf vibes if they had more women with agency. didn’t rate because I haven’t decided my feelings on the end yet. 

science fiction

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone: f/f enemies to lovers between spies on rival sides of a time war. good book but writing style wasn’t for me (others love this so eh take my opinion with a grain os salt:  ★★★

not your sidekick by c.b lee: main character is from a superhero family but has no powers herself, so she takes an internship working with a superhero corp. has an f/f romance with a villain character. so much fun and super cute

speculative fiction:

the deep by rivers solomon: speculative fiction wherein pregnant African women thrown overboard by slave ships gave birth to babies that became mermaids. main character holds all the memories of her people’s past but runs away after being unable to deal with the burden. about self discovery, intergenerational trauma and the burden of remembering. a little short imo but still all round excellent book ★★★★

how long ‘til black future month? by n.k jemisin: short story collection, many with an afro-futurism focus. hard to explain because there is such a wide variety of stories but this is an AMAZING collection. didn’t rate because I don’t like rating short story collections but wish more people would read it. 

mystery

the family upstairs by lisa jewell: woman inherits an english house and starts to unravel the secrets of a mass cult suicide that happened there years ago. loved it because it was wild. ★★★★★

the hand on the wall by maureen johnson: truly devious #3. boarding school mystery where the main character has to solve a murder that happened in the 1920s at her school while another mystery is happening in present time. my least favourite of the series but satisfying conclusion nonetheless. ★★★½

contemporary fiction

maybe in another life by taylor jenkins reid: dual timeline book showing the two outcomes of a decision the main character makes. cool concept but ultimately boring book because I didn’t care about the main character at all.  didn’t rate because I didn’t finish it. 

girl, woman, other by bernadine evaristo: vignette stories of various women whose lives are vaguely interconnected. incredibly well written with such vivid characters. deserves the hype. ★★★★

tin heart by shivan plozza: australian YA, the recipient of a heart transplant wishes to connect with the family of her donor, after she discovers the identity of her donor. good story but didn’t like the writing style. ★★★

a little life by hanya yanigahara: follows the life of a group of friends living in life, especially that of jude, a closed off and damaged man with a troubling past. a little too torture-porny/Tragic Gays but I cannot deny the author has a beautiful writing style and I went through all the emotions. didn’t rate

a girl like that by tanaz bhathena: explores the events leading up to the main character dying in a car crash. set in Jeddah, saudi arabia and explores expectations on women, feminism and expressions of sexuality and relationships between women during teenage years. kinda no good characters but I loved it for it’s messy depiction of teen girls (whilst not condemning them for this). underrated. ★★★★

little fires everywhere by celeste ng: drama in white american suburbs when a new family moves in and the neighbours start investigating their past. eh, I heard a lot about this and thought it was just okay. ★★★

stay gold by tobly mcsmith: trans boy decides to go stealth at his new school and falls for a cheerleader, georgia. about navigating being trans and definitely felt like it was written to educate cis people. it was okay but ultimately not my thing and not really the story I was looking for, even though I respect it being written by a trans author and still would recommend to certain people. ★★½

everything leads to you by nina lacour: main character and her best friend have to unravel a hollywood mystery, all while the main character is trying to get over her ex-girlfriend and find work as a set designer. f/f romance and loved the focus on movie making and the power of stories. ★★★½

the falling in love montage by ciara smyth: a girl meets another girl at a party, but she’s not looking to date due to the amount of family issues she has going on. so her and the girl decide to spend the summer having fun, renacting scenes from rom-coms, but never dating. awesome family dynamics and the relationship between the two girls was sweet also set in ireland which is fun. 

normal people by sally rooney: explores the relationship between connell and marianne, who meet in school, date secretly, and then are inexplicably drawn to each other for the rest of their lives. explores power dynamics, relationships, love and trust, and what we owe to eachother. great book, great mini-series, love it to bits. ★★★★★

the glass hotel by emily st john mandel: impossible to explain this book, but there’s a mystery about grafitti, a ponzi scheme and a character falling to their death on a boat under suspicious circumstances. honestly idk what happened in this book but I liked it. ★★★½

historical fiction

half of a yellow sun by chimamanda ngozi adichie: historical fiction about the biafran war loosely based on adichie’s family experiences. incredibly well written with an ending that punches you in the gut. ★★★★

hamnet by maggie o’farrell: explores the shakespeare family after the death of their child, Hamnet, from the plague, and how this leads to Shakespeare writing Hamlet. cool as fuck concept and boring as fuck book with such tropey female characters. ★★

all the light we cannot see by anthony doerr: WW2 fiction, dual perspective between a blind girl living in france and a german boy forced into nazi youth. I cannot believe this book is award winning it’s so boring and predictable and i reget the time i wasted on it. ★

poetry:

on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong: poetry memoir. vuong writes a letter to his illiterate mother, knowing she’ll never read it, exploring their relationship, his experiences growing up as second generation Vietnamese-American, and hers during the Vietnam War. My favorite book I’ve read so far this year, just too good to explain, genuinely just feel like everyone is better off for having read this. ★★★★★

currrently reading:

girls of storm and shadow by natasha ngan

meet me at the intersection: edited by rebecca lim & ambelin kwaymullina

stamped from the beginning: the definitive history of racist ideas in america by ibram x. kendi

get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert

[thecostumevaultblog]

I was tagged by the absolutely lovely @petegoestotown

Rules: answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.

⭐️My Questions⭐️

1. Favourite album?

Like, it changes every half a year. I get obsessed easily… Right now it’s Harry Styles’ Fine Line, but I’ve also been absolutely obsessed with Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors, and Green Day’s American Idiot. I’m very eclectic in my taste…and a bit ashamed of the fact, to be honest.

2. Who were you in a past life?

I like to think I was Elisabeth of Austria (Sissi). You know the type, glamorous, rich and miserable. But, knowing my luck, I probably was just a fisherman’s wife who died of malnourishment and bad medical care during the delivery of her fifth child or something like that.

3. Airdrumming or airguitar?

Definitely airdrumming. I’m traumatized with guitar playing… and that’s a way too long story for today.

4. Where would you travel in time if you could?

Realistically, back to 2012 and go through collage again. Those were fun times.

But for funsies sake, Spain in the 1550’s just because I love the women’s fashion and England in the 1880’s for pretty much the same reason.

Big gowns are literally the only reason anyone would persuade me to go back in time. I’m pretty sure that at whatever point I went back I would end up either being burned at the stake for heresy, hanged for witchcraft or sent to an asylum for “hysteria”. I’ve never been a lucky gal.

5. Do you play a sport? Which?

Satan, get away from me! I hate all and any sports and have made a life goal never to play one.

6. What weird food combinations do you enjoy?

I don’t have any… I think. I’m pretty vanilla with my food choices. The only thing I seem to love that all non-mediterraneans I’ve meet seem to think it’s disgusting is olives. But that’s not a food combination.

7. Do you think aliens exist?

Yes, probably. But I doubt they're even remotely similar to humans. They are probably bacteria or something like that.

8. Who’s your favourite stand up comedian?

I don’t really have a favourite, because I don’t watch much stand up comedy, but I loved the bits I saw Trevor Noah do.

9. What movie or book do you know the most quotes from?

Anything by Shakespeare. I am shit at remembering book quotes. But my memory is not so bad with film. So, also Lord of the Rings, Cyrano de Bergerac and anything from the Disney Animation Studio.

10. How old were you when you had your first celebrity crush and who was it?

I was about 9, and it was Orlando Bloom. I promise it was all very innocent and pure... I was really young. *So embarrassing*

my questions ~

1. what would you put into your own created salad?

Oh, I do this all the time. I love this salad: lentils, tuna fish, olives, sweet corn, cherry tomatoes, grated celery, grated beet, crab sticks and mozzarella. It’s amazing!

2. what would your call your garage band?

Loudly Whispers

3. which planet has the prettiest name in your opinion (in our solar system)?

Mercury. Don’t know why…

4. night mode or day mode on your phone?

Day mode! Night mode makes the screen look too green for me. It’s too much like the Matrix!

5. what was your fav childhood series?

It was an animated show called “Papyrus”. It was a French production, but it got translated to a bunch of different languages and I used to watch it in Catalan on TV. I just loved Ancient Egypt growing up…

6. what was the worst book you ever read voluntary?

50 Shades of Grey. Before you lose all respect for me… it wasn’t exactly voluntary… My aunt gave it to me as a present because “you said you like to read!” and I thought that it would be nice actually reading the book and be able to criticize it knowing the full extend of the thing.

7. if you could only ever eat fish or meat, what would you choose? (if youre a vegetarian:high five)

I couldn’t be a vegetarian… I would say fish.

8. if someone gave you a DVD with all the times people talked about you behind your back, would you watch it?

Oh dear! Oh dear! Don’t do this to me. I would throw it away only to get drunk thinking about what must be in there and proceed to fish it out and cry-watch it while intoxicated. And then be depressed and hating myself for watching it for a month.

9. pen or pencil?

Pen

10. whos your fav tumblr blogs? send them a nice message!

@tourdeforced, @tallulalusa, @thehowlingghost, @petegoestotown, @23-tiny-wishes, @kitty-rushes-in, @elleisforlovee, @vendelaberglin, @nails-n-glam, @weloveperioddrama, @lalilaloli, @pristina-nomine

I adore all of you and make me smile every-time you post! <3

my questions:

1. did a book or movie change your life or majorly shifted your views on a topic?

Not so much changed my life or my mind on anything… but I was really shaken after watching the James Baldwin documentary I Am Not Your Negro. Like, it showed me nothing new or nothing that I didn’t think already, but it phrased it in such a poetic and yet poignant way that it absolutely shook me to my core.

2. you’re allowed to dress in the style of one youth culture only for the rest of your life, which one do you choose?

The depressed Goth… I wanted so bad to be Goth, but my mum wouldn’t let me buy the pertinent clothing to achieve it.

3. what type of gifts do you love to receive?

I’m so picky with gifts… because my taste is so niche and I’m obsessive with the most obscure things that people sort of tend to miss the mark. Still, with that in mind, I love to receive films and books as gifts, because even if it’s not about whatever topic I’m currently fixated on, there’s always something of interest in them.

I hate being gifted knick-knacks, I want thinks that allow me to find something in them.

4. do you know your MBTI type?

MBTI? What is that? Well, I guess that definitely answers your question.

5. would you like to have dinner with a time Traveller from the future or with your favourite author?

Favourite author. I don’t want to be told how humanity ends.

6. would you run your country for a year?

Nop. Not a chance. I would be terrified of being unable to fix the things I think need to change. And I’m terrified of messing up.

7. which piece of art would you like to own?

Shit. Every single one of them?

If I had to choose one, though, it would be Velázquez’s Las Meninas. Such a shame it wouldn’t fit my apartment.

8. do you have pet peeves?

There’s people who don’t? I hate when people bend the page on a book to mark it. I hate when people invite themselves to my house. I hate when people leave things out of their proper place… and many, many more.

9. which fictional character is a lot like you?

I don’t really know…mmm… I’ve been told Monica, from Friends. I’ve been told a lot I look like Leia… But I would say, Alma from The Phantom Thread if she used sass and self-depreciating humor to hide her vulnerability. Don’t really know what that says about me…

10. a quote you’d like to share:

“I will no longer mutilate and destroy myself in order to find a secret behind the ruins.” Herman Hesse

💖 MY QUESTIONS 💖

1. What’s your favourite thing to do alone?

2. What’s the thing you always carry in your purse?

3. A book or a film that stayed with you long after you finished it?

4. Have you ever gone to the movies and payed to watch a film you knew wasn’t worth it?

5. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

6. What’s the one food you can’t live without?

7. Period dramas. Yay or Nay

8. What thing in your daily routine would you pay not to have to do?

9. What was the one thing you had to cancel due to the Covid Crisis that made you want to throw a tantrum?

10. What language would you like to learn?

@petegoestotown this was FUN! Thanks! I’m currently very bored and this is the perfect entertainment! Lots of love and don’t stop tagging me!

Now, the part that makes me sort of uncomfortable… I tag the usual people @tourdeforced, @tallulalusa, @thehowlingghost, @23-tiny-wishes, @kitty-rushes-in, @elleisforlovee, @vendelaberglin, @nails-n-glam, @weloveperioddrama, @lalilaloli, @pristina-nomine, please feel free to ignore me if I’m tiresome. Also, everyone else who wants to participate!

[candygirl101x]

Romance MD: Always on Call Munechika Takado Review (if you can really call it that)

Honestly I wasn’t expecting to write a review on this, because; 1. I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in the newest release. 2. And secondly…well I don’t write reviews.

But I haven’t seen that much noise about this title yet; whether that’s due to the lack of interest, the lengthy time it takes to read this whole story, the frustrating amount of hearts (A.K.A your hard earned dollar) you have to spend to achieve a SHE, or perhaps all of the above.

When I saw advertisements for Love 365’s latest release, I honestly didn’t give a damn. Oh joy, another Love Choice title (which by the way everyone asked for…not), the same old character types (I felt like Voltage should’ve changed their name to ‘Oresama’s R Us’) and I didn’t take a liking to any of the character’s physical looks either (except Kasumi, what a babe.)

So when Romance MD was finally released I wasn’t rushing to read it. Lately I’ve been more preoccupied reading another otome (Mr Love Queen’s Choice, if anyone is interested) rather than any releases on Love 365 as it just isn’t giving me that enticing story that I’d throw away life’s commitments in an instant to read. After reading Takado’s story, I only wish that I’d stop judging a book by it’s cover (although I know I definitely won’t).

I found myself reading through the story mostly because it was free (we already know the debate on that one, in the end I think I spent £14) and because I was bored. However, it wasn’t long before I found myself being sucked into the story and just thoroughly enjoying the interactions between the characters.

The MC

I could describe the MC as a breath of fresh air, I could describe her as a complete car crash but I feel as though a more accurate description is Marmite. For those of you who don’t know (probably anyone outside of the UK), Marmite is a food spread that people have on toast/sandwiches etc. The debate is that there are thousands of people who love Marmite more than their firstborn child but on the other hand there’s equally as many people who think Marmite is the work of Satan himself, and would find their dog’s faeces more appetising. So I can’t help but feel like you’ll love her for being new, exciting and different…or you’ll hate her because she’s extremely arrogant, a know-it-all and just plain annoying.

Reasons to love the MC:

She’s clever, like really clever. I have no idea what half those words mean that come out of her mouth but this girl knows her shit.                              

She’s determined and persistent. I mean, I guess all MC’s are when I think about it but it’s generally a good trait to have. The MC doesn’t let Takado out of her sight for a second, even using her skills of being on the track team in highschool to sprint after him when he tries to run away which is highly hilarious. Although can you imagine an MC who isn’t persistent? We’d have no story. Kind of funny thinking about that actually, an MC who just says “Right! I’ve had enough of you abusing me, I’m off home to eat ice cream and watch Netflix. You continue cutting people’s legs off willy nilly like they can grow back.”

She’s relatable. I can’t stress this one enough. Yeah maybe not the medical textbook mumbo jumbo but the social awkwardness and the constant daydreams of Sekai (her otome boyfriend) is something many of us can understand.

She’s not a sheep. This girl has a mind of her own. I take my hat off to her for going up against her superior’s when she thinks something is wrong, I don’t have that kind of backbone.

Reasons to hate the MC:

She can be plain rude. Like I can praise the girl for sticking up for herself but sometimes she’s a little too tart-tongued for my liking. I did cringe a bit, wishing she’d dial things back from time to time.

Missing some classic MC traits, comes across as arrogant. I mean, I guess this one is personal preference. I do like the more outgoing MC who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, but surely it’s natural to not be so arrogant in front of doctors who have years of experience on you? Like the MC is 26, I’m pretty sure all of the guys are 30+ (pretty sure Takado is 35) and have been doctors for a longer time than the MC has even been training to be a doctor. I did find myself missing the humble, kind hearted MC a bit. You really don’t have to be arrogant to be a strong willed woman, my favourite MC is the MC from Our Private Homeroom, I felt like she had a good mix of all the traits.

Can be annoying. Like there’s a time and place to be talking about the topic you’re currently spouting on about MC, and now definitely isn’t the correct time/place.

I was honestly saying the same thing to myself Tak

Takado

Takado himself is not necessarily anything we haven’t seen before. He’s not hiding anything you probably haven’t already guessed. Him and the MC have frequent domestics (which 9 times out of 10 end in her being hit over the head with a file) in places they should definitely not be having domestics, which in itself provides a series of highly entertaining scenes, for not only us but also the rest of the ICU doctors. He doesn’t baby the MC, he tells her when she’s done messed up but does also show signs of kindness behind his stoney façade, especially more towards the end of the story. I also appreciated that his backstory was more than meets the eye, there’s nothing I find more boring than a predictable plot line. Generally, I found him likeable. In fact, more often than not I felt sorry for him for having to put up with the absolute garbage that drops out of the MC’s mouth. I dunno how the hell he ended up falling in love with her too, I’d run a mile if that was me. But then again I did pay £14 for him, so if he didn’t I’d be god damn pissed.

He is equally (actually even more so) as intelligent as the MC, without bragging about how much he knows which was rather refreshing. I mean he does call the MC a thousand different variants of the word stupid, but every single time was justified in my eyes.

Although one thing I must say...

God damn son.

Stuff to Note

One thing I need to comment is holy smokes, how long is this story? When I saw the looming 30 chapters I figured that they were probably going to be over faster than my money leaves my account on payday, but boy how wrong I was. Now this almost certainly is a money grab in order to get you to spend more hearts to get the “good choices” but despite that, I was really impressed with just how long the story took me to read. Maybe I’m just getting old, but usually on any main story I can bash it out in under 2 hours. With this, I actually had to stop myself from reading and go the hell to sleep because it was 4 in the morning. When I checked the next day to what chapter I was on, I thought I was tripping when I realised I’d only just made it halfway through the story. Voltage kudos to you. The story was the perfect length to have good plot pacing, decent character development and satisfying romance at the end.

Now granted if you’re looking for a lovey-dovey romance throughout the whole story this isn’t the route for you. The romance doesn’t really kick start until at least 3/4 of the way through this route, and even then it’s nothing that exciting. The MC struggles to understand what love even is herself, having her only boyfriends being fictional otome men (the relatability is real), she finds herself unable to register what those feelings are. It’s not until a playful bullying from the other ICU doctors and a dictionary search that she realises she’s in love.

But in general, I found Takado’s route an enjoyable read with well placed comedic timing and good focus on the the more serious side of things when it was important. So if you find yourself bored like me, maybe just give it a read. Just don’t come at me with torches and pitchforks when you’re $15 poorer.

Moments I Particularly Enjoyed

The reminder that you are in fact reading the correct story

The scientific breakdown of kabedon

The obvious sarcastic remarks, that the socially inept MC doesn’t understand

The casual discussion of banging in the workplace

Pros and Cons

Pros

Character Development. I feel like both the MC and Takado showed character development. The MC when she finally figured out she has to stop being so damn arrogant and realise the consequences of when she opens her mouth. And Takado, that he can’t just tell people they’re having their leg cut off and just walk off.

Length. Need I say more.

Good pacing. Story progresses, MC progresses, Romance progresses. Good job guys.

Well written. Actually laughed out loud a fair few times whilst reading this story, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. Also whoever came up with the idea of the character sprites holding up a board for comic effect is a god damn genius.

Good group dynamics. I mean it’s not KBTBB, but I enjoyed reading the interactions between all the ICU doctors. Hopefully with more releases we’ll be able to see more of their relationship with each other.

Cons

Love Choice. I mean you can read this story completely free…just you won’t know any of the back story, you won’t get any of the romantic moments and you’ll get the shit ending. But if you’re happy spending $15 for a main story then this is a pro I suppose.

Lacking in romance. Now I’m not saying there isn’t any, I personally don’t have an issue with how things progressed (I much prefer the romance to come in following stories like epilogues and sequels) but I have a feeling if you’re after something with a lot of romance running throughout it, this story won’t be for you.

Too many legs were harmed in the making of this route. People be getting their legs cut off more times than I’ve had hot dinners. Everyone thinks Takado goes around cutting people’s legs off for fun…and honestly you can’t blame them for thinking that.

Not many CGs. Remember the days when we had 6 CGs for a main story? I know I’m being picky but having 1 CG in episode 1 and the last CG in the SHE, that only leaves 2 other CGs for 28 episodes. If you’re gonna have a main story that long, surely you can spare another CG or two Voltage?

I’ve put the character sprites and the CGs below a read more button so people can avoid spoilers. So if you’re interested in what I’ve officially renamed the characters keep reading :) VVVVVVVV

Starring

Dr.Amputation (I’m telling you now, you wouldn’t want this one for your general health checkup) (Takado)

Angry Coach (Takao)

Angry Coach’s Wife (Who I’ve actually forgotten the name of)

Darling Boy (Haruto)

Darling Boy’s mother (Yoko)

Flirty McGee (Hosho)

Kasumi’s Die-hard Fan (but can you blame him?) (Kyogoku)

Dean the Absolute Meme (Matsunaga)

Ghost Hospital Director (Seriously, I think we see him like once in the whole route(why is he even on this list? Because I already had a screenshot and I’d figured I might as well use it) (Usagida)

ICU’s On-Call Doctor Dealer (Ekuni)

Total Babe (Kasumi) (Just you wait till your ass is out bitch)

Also can you blame me?

Ultimate Waifu (Missy)

Partner in Otaku Crime (Asuka)

Cute Penguin (Watch out Sydney, she’s coming for your top spot on the favourite Voltage mascot list and probably your large swimming pool) (Kalmia)

A reformed KBTBB Villain (Mario)

The Main Character (Sekai)

The Actual Main Character (Why we see her sprite for one split second I’m not overly sure, but yeah hard pass Voltage)

CGs

Episode 1

Episode 18

Episode 27

SHE

Now if I were you, I’d go and actually find a good review to read. Like @aqvarius

[madscientistjournal]

An Interview with Nic Marson

Today, we’re chatting with Nicholas Marson, whose first novel, The Key of Astrea, will be released on Sunday, November 3. Here’s the blurb for the book:

“Sixteen-year-old Jenny Tripper might be crazy…or she might have the power to save the Solar System. At least that’s what the holographic woman in her bedroom tells her. Jenny thinks it’s just another ghost, but after falling into an alternate Universe, she finds herself neck-deep in an interstellar conflict over runaway aliens. She alone may be the key to their freedom … if she can master her abilities without going insane.

Jenny quickly learns that she’s not alone. There are others like her with mysterious powers. Now, she must compete against them for the right to wield a key that will unlock a galactic gateway. But, when a starship arrives to capture the runaway aliens, Jenny must work alongside her competitors to keep the aliens and the galactic gateway out of military control.

This coming-of-age story about a girl who develops psychic powers, fights giants, and takes part in spaceship battles will appeal to readers of science fiction and fantasy–and anyone who loves an adventure.”

DV: Tell us a little about yourself and your writing background.

Nicholas Marson: Professionally, I’m a web designer and developer, but from the time I was nine years old, I’ve been inventing other worlds. My first major project began when I was eleven. My best friend and I created a role-playing game. I drew all the characters, and we worked out the mechanics together. We played it for a few months before getting bored and abandoning the game. It would seem that I enjoyed creating more than experiencing the product. Throughout high school, I wrote papers and short stories, but the next major team project was designing a Super Mario Bros 3 sequel. I drew bosses and outfits for Mario, as well as designing levels and writing dialog. These were all fun expressions of creativity, but nothing serious. It wasn’t until later that I started my first real project.

After high school, I started a company called Armored Chicken Studios along with two friends. We met once a week, for two years, as we developed a story called The Third Age. The premise was that a city-state, called Sardis, shifted into an alternate universe in order to avoid being destroyed. Over the years, the world forgot about Sardis. After 500 years, Sardis returned, but the world was not ready. After 1,000 years, our two protagonists stumble into the city before it shifts a second time. They discover that time passes differently in Sardis, after five years, the city returns for a third time, 1500 years after it first left. This time, the world is ready, and the two warring superpowers destroy Sardis in their attempt to capture it. Each protagonist is taken prisoner by a separate superpower. Unfortunately, the project was never completed, though I did create a short art book for my junior graphic design course which contained the characters, and settings we invented for The Third Age.

DV: What was the inspiration for your novel?

NM: I wanted to put a movie on in the background while I was working from home, but I was bored with my usual go-tos. Instead of complaining (though I did complain), I decided to write a book. I thought, if nothing came of it, I would at least learn how difficult it was to create good entertainment. The first step was to break down my favorite movies in order to figure out why I liked them. So, I created a spreadsheet with Star Wars, Harry Potter, and The Matrix. Then, I examined them scene-by-scene, and to my surprise, a pattern started to emerge. After a quick internet search, I discovered that Joseph Campbell already did this work back in 1949, and George Lucas based Star Wars on the monomyth. But I wasn’t discouraged, because I now had a blueprint to follow.

DV: You mentioned a mad scientist character in your novel. Tell us more about them!

NM: That would be Ramus. He is an immortal alien who crash-landed on an alternate Earth thousands of years ago. Now, he is a tech-trillionaire who made his fortune reverse-engineering alien technology. Yet, there is a metamaterial that he’s been unable to reproduce in his many thousands of years of life. It’s called nexum, and it composes the artifacts responsible for faster than light travel. When a group of alien refugees arrives on Earth, with a forge capable of producing nexum, Ramus comes up with a plan to steal it for himself.

DV: What is the coolest thing about being an author?

NM: Honestly, I don’t feel like an author. I suppose it’s a case of impostor syndrome. Like, if I say I’m an author, then the author police will come and serve me with a fine. Right now, there are two emotions at war after finishing my novel. One is a great sense of accomplishment. The other is being nervous as to how my novel will be perceived.

DV: What are you working on next?

I have about a hundred pages of notes for the sequel to The Key of Astrea, so writing that novel is my first priority. After that, I have a fascinating concept for a novella that exists in the same universe. Without giving anything away, I would describe it as a cross between Inception and Stranger Things.

Thanks, Nicholas! We’re looking forward to checking out your book!

An Interview with Nic Marson was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Fictober18 Day 22

Original Fiction

Prompt: “I know you like to play games.” 

Part 2 of Erin and Gerald story, second arc.  Part 1 linked here. 

This part has pretty violent scenes please be warned. 

“Wait here.” 

The attendant motioned to the metal chairs lining the walls outside the military office, before turning and leaving. Erin stood uncertainly in the center of the waiting room, glancing around at the surroundings that had never changed since she was a child, wondering if she had made the right decision. Gerald had desperately wanted to go with her.

“You might need back up, or someone to help you fight your way out at least.” He argued, holding on to her hand tightly.

“Thanks, but I really have to do this on my own. He’s my father, if he wanted to get rid of me, he has much easier ways to do it then calling me to his office.”

He hadn’t been convinced. “But… what if you…”

“Gerald.” Her voice had been firm. “This is my decision.”

His hand tightened for a moment, and then let go. “I’ll respect that.” He briefly touched her face, his face sad. “But if you need me, don’t hesitate to call.”

She had left him behind, but now, standing in front of the door that led to her father, she felt very much alone. This room was so familiar, how many times had she sat here, filled with anticipation, waiting to see her father?

When she was younger, Erin had been desperate for his approval. Each time a new ability of hers was discovered, she would happily come to his office, waiting in this room patiently for him to have a spare moment to see her. The door would open, she would happily announce her latest power, hoping that this time, just maybe, he would be impressed. Each time, he would stare silently at her, measuring her worth. He would then ask what power level she had been judged to be. Upon hearing a 3 or a 4, he would immediately lose interest, dismissing her from his sight and breaking her heart all over again.

Erin glanced around at the office, the paintings of past generals on the walls seeming to stare back at her disapprovingly. With a long sigh, she sat down on one of the chairs, trying desperately not to think of the last time she had sat in this office.

She was eight years old. She had woken up with a familiar feeling, and excited, her mother had brought her before an insight specialist once again. They confirmed she had developed an eighth ability: illusion type powers. The people in the office had been so complimentary, so impressed with her abilities. A typical “talented” person may have 3 or 4 abilities; level 4 abilities were fairly rare. To have eight… they called Erin a genius, and she believed it must be true.

Excited, she raced to her father office. Sitting in the metal chair, swinging her legs back and forth, unable to contain her cheerful energy.

This time he’ll be impressed. He has to be. She thought to herself.

Finally he came out, his frame filling the doorway. He was silent, but his dark eyes studied her closely, seeming to see her and through her at the same time. Nervous, trembling she got to her feet, and lifted a hand. An image of a flower projected above it, starting as a bud and blooming into a beautiful white lily. The illusion faded, and she stared at the floor, too nervous to look at his expression.

“Level?” A single word, but it carried so much meaning within.

“…” She didn’t want to say.

“What level was it appraised at?” His voice carried weight with it, making her feel crushed.

“…Three.” She whispered.

“Worthless.” Losing interest, he turned back to his office.

Erin lost it. She had come to this office so many times, and never once had she earned his approval. Without thinking she stepped forward, raising her voice and arguing.

“So what if it’s only level three? I have EIGHT different abilities. That has to match up to a measly level five ability, right? I mean, I really can…” Before she could finish the sentence she was thrown against the wall.

She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. The room was filled with his power, the air gone. Flames burst into existence all around her, the heat from the fire scorching her skin but otherwise not leaving a trace in the room around her. Blood dripped from her nose and ears, her eight year old body unable to withstand the pressure.

“Still think you can measure up to a level 5 capacitance?” Despite the ferocity of his attack, his voice remained calm, bored even. “I have the ability to topple nations, your measly little parlor tricks mean nothing.”

With a quick hand gesture the flames, the wind, everything was gone. Her father smiled, the expression cruel. “Go back to your training. Don’t bother me again unless you have something significant to report.”

With that the door closed behind him, leaving her slumped on the floor, blood staining her clothes, sticking against her skin. It wasn’t until an hour later that she finally crawled to her feet and left the office.

She never used her illusion ability again.

Erin shook her head, trying to clear it of the memory of that terrible day. She had just been a child, one who wanted her father to be proud of her. There was nothing to be ashamed of. She took a deep breath, steadying her thoughts, and kept her expression carefully neutral as she waited to be called into the office.

“You may enter now.” Thirty minutes later the attendant stepped forward, looking at her with a disdainful expression.

Erin stood up, and entered the room, her spine straight and her chin raised. She wished she could believe she was ready for this.

The office was unchanged from years before. Still windowless, lit only by a magical lamp on the large mahogany desk. Papers strewn everywhere, taking up each and every available surface. A large table stood in the corner with a map on it, different markers placed at different areas of the world. There was no other chair, her father didn’t believe that anyone should be so relaxed as to sit in his presence. Erin stood in front of the desk, waiting silently.

The man at the desk… her father. She knew in some ways his features resembled her own, but he was so much… bigger. Not just taller, although he towered over her when standing. His very presence filled the room, leaving no room for her. The silence was… suffocating. She waited there in front of the desk, focusing on breathing.

“You killed Lady Belanna?” 

When he finally spoke, it caught her by surprise. He had not looked up from his work at his desk, his voice casual as if asking about the weather. She thought about his question for a moment, and then gave an answer from the official story they had given the school.

“It was in self defense.”

He looked up, and Erin fought the desire to shrink back as his dark eyes focused on her. She felt like he was seeing through her, dissecting her down to her bones.

“But you DID kill her?”

Erin sighed. “Yes, but I would be dead if I didn’t so I’m not sorry, even if she was a… special friend of yours.”

“That’s not the issue.” He shook his head. “She had longed outlived her usefulness to me, her death matters very little.”

Erin felt a slight pang for the madwoman who had made this monster the center of her world, only to have her death regarded as less than a minor inconvenience.

“If you don’t care, why am I here?” She kept her voice calm, even as he stood up, leaning over her. His face came within inches of her own, making her itch to strike out, to hurt him.

“I care because she was once one of the stronger knights, with level 5 wind ability, and yet somehow… you… were able to kill her.” He grabbed her arm, his grip so tight she felt it down to the bone. “HOW?”

Ah. Erin refused to let the pain on her arm show on her face. This breaks everything he ever taught me about never being able to defeat a level 5. She smiled at him, enjoying his disconcertment at the expression.

“She was already weakened, and I caught her by surprise, it was simple.”

“…” He stared at her, and Erin returned his look calmly, despite everything within her screaming out to reach over and kill him. 

Pull off the restrictive amulet.

Use all your abilities to take his life, tear him limb from limb.

Destroy him.

He’ll never see it coming.

“Come with me.” Releasing her arm, he motioned for her to follow him, and walked quickly out of the door. They moved through the military offices, into a practice yard in the back. There, standing attention in a military uniform was a tall young man about Erin’s age. He glared at her, his eyes holding an unexpected amout of hatred for someone she had never met before. She chose to ignore him, staring at her father instead, who came to a stop in front of the gentleman just five feet away.

“At ease, Walter.” The young man relaxed at her father’s words.

“I know how you love to play games, and so I’ve arranged a good one for you. This girl here is from St. Julienne’s academy, one of their representatives for the international competition.” He paused, his cold gaze looking her over from head to toe one last time. “You may go all out… but I want her alive at the end.”

Walter nodded, his face splitting into a wide grin, his eyes dissecting her in a way that made Erin want to shudder in disgust. She adjusted her stance to a defensive one, and circled around, trying to study him. Knowing there was no point discussing this further, as her father wanted to see a fight, so there would be a fight. She contemplated taking off the restrictive amulet, but reluctantly decided against it. Erin couldn’t dare let her father know about the true extent of her abilities, she needed every advantage she could get.

She activated her physical and spiritual enhancement abilities, boosting her moving speed and the capacity of her elemental powers. All the while she kept an eye on the young man in front of her, who continued to stand in a relaxed manner, staring at her.

Then, within the space of half a breath, he was inches away from her.

“Level 4 physical enhancement and Wind abilities.” Her father’s tone was amused. “Let’s see how you handle this.”

Walter reached for her neck, but Erin had already dropped to the ground, sweeping his legs out fro under him. Unwilling to let go of the advantage, she kicked him in the face while he was down, breaking his nose with a crunching noise. It didn’t seem to phase him at all, his smile continued to remain in place as he stared up at her, trying to stand. She went to kick him again, but her leg was caught in a lightning quick grasp. Trying to pull away, Erin was startled as he lifted her over his head, swinging her into a wall of a nearby office. She felt a couple ribs crack at the impact.

Erin lay on the ground, stunned for a moment. She then reached out, filling the field with red gold flames. They reached up to the level of her opponent’s chest, but still he ignored them, marching through with determination until he was by her side again. Walter was burned, several part of his uniform smoldering despite their flame resistant nature, but still he kept smiling.

Unnerved, Erin tried to use wind magic to push him back, but only succeeded in moving him a few feet away. He rushed back to her side, grabbing her arm, and before she could react, stomped on it. Erin bit her tongue, holding back a scream as she felt the bone break under his boot.

She clenched a fist, and a stream of water rushed down his throat, flooding his lungs. He reached a hand into his mouth and pulled the water out with a gesture.

“He has Level 4 water abilities as well.”

Climbing to her feet, she split the earth between them, trying to force some distance while firing a ball of flame at his face. He leapt over the gap, dodging the burning missile and grabbed her other arm.

Erin reached out with that arm, gripping his shirt to pull him closer, while bringing her knee into his stomach, but despite the heavy blow he only tightened his fist, using his other hand to rotate her body until with a popping sound, her shoulder dislocated.

Pale, barely conscious with the pain, Erin tried once more to  attack him with magic. The flame had barely formed before his boot struck her face, knocking her to the ground. Her vision blurry, she looked up at the sky, dully waiting for the finishing blow.

“Enough.”

 She barely recognized her father’s voice over the ringing in her ears. She lifted up her head, turning to the side to spit out blood. Her head hurt, her arms rendered unusable, each breath brought a stabbing pain as the fracture ribs scraped on each other. She was having trouble breathing, she worried it may have punctured the lung on that side. Walter stood only a few feet away, still smiling, looking her over with a stubborn expression. It was clear he hadn’t wanted to stop.

“Leave now, treat your wounds.” Her father was still talking to Walter. With a formal bow, the young man retreated, nothing in his gait revealing how badly he was hurt. Once they were alone, there were a few moments of silence.

“I see what you meant.” His voice was cold. “It was indeed a stroke of luck that you were able to take down Lady Belanna. Although it is true that you have improved. Beyond the abilities you saw, Walter also has a variant of mental reinforcement.” He grinned, the expression dark. “He can completely cut off pain sensation. He fights like a madman, most people don’t survive the first attack. However, your meager abilities are far from enough to be considered useful to me.”

Erin struggled to her feet, her arms hanging from her side. “Is that all?” She was proud at how calm her voice sounded.

“No.” He frowned. “You are not useful as a soldier, but that doesn’t mean I ignore your value to this family and my goals. Once you return from your loss at the international competition, you will leave your school and return home to prepare for your wedding.” 

“… no.” Erin was shocked, giving only a single word answer.

“It wasn’t a question. Your marriage has been arranged to a rising young official who I need on my side. This will cement relations between the two families and allow me to move more freely within the Parliament.” 

“I refuse.”

“You have no choice.”

Erin glared. “You cannot force me to agree to marry him, even if you physically force me to the altar.”

“You have no idea how easily I can do exactly that.” His smile was cruel. “I’m done with you for now. Go back to your school.”

He turned away, walking back towards his office, leaving her staring at his back, thoughts about killing him screaming in her mind. Suppressing the idea with a shudder, Erin slowly made her way back out of the offices, ignoring the blood dripping on the floor beneath her feet.

She sent a wind artifact to Gerald, asking him to meet her, but she kept walking. She was worried if she stopped, she would fall asleep. Her vision was darkening, her limbs felt heavy, but still she kept moving.

Just a little further… Just…

“Erin!” Gerald’s horrified shout caused her head to snap up. She tripped, falling towards the ground. His arms abruptly halted her descent as he pulled her against his chest. Erin let out a groan of pain as it jostled her ribs and arms.

“Erin, what…? What did he do?” He barely whispered, but Erin heard him, she smiled, the expression distorted by the swelling in her face.

“My father just wanted to let me know I’m engaged, isn’t it wonderful?”

With that, she slipped into unconsciousness.

“Erin? … ERIN?!”

[jutsei]

(NOT DRAWN BY ME! Drawn, Commissioned From, and uploaded with permission from the original artist Anirhapsodist! )

“Ya know, when you just stop worrying about what people feel about you, it’s just so liberating, I just do whatever I want, even if I get into trouble here and there, it’s worth it for the smile it puts on me and other peoples face!”

Context/Behind-The-Scenes: To say this was an interesting development was an understatement, this picture is actually well over six years old! Originally made in 2013, this picture was one of the first Personas I made as I was getting comfortable with myself and exploring my gender identity, based upon my Pokemon X&Y trainer (immersing myself with a feminine avatar helped more than you think) I was learning all sorts of things about myself thanks to a friend, and eventually learned that I really enjoyed cute things, being cute, and making people smile with cute stuff. Dunno why that took so long to learn, though!

Her name is Sachi, no last name! And you must wonder why I’m uploading this six years later? Well, it’s because I’m gonna do more stuff with her, including making her an OC... kinda, she’ll be able to do more and appear in my stories! Which ones, not quite sure yet! She has a habit of jumping settings even without trying... And her powers were pretty fun to write and come up with, since she started as a Pokemon X & Y Avatar, I figured giving her some kind of ability to enter, become beings from, or draw power from fiction made a lot of sense due to the roleplaying aspect of that initial inspiration for her :D Anyway...

Her deal is that she is a strange young teenager (About 14), who never seems to age, despite not being supernatural, manages to traverse great distances in a single night, vanish when near books or televisions,  when she appears to suffer a fatal injury, or gets lost, she reappears naught but a few days later, none the worse for the wear, and most peculiar all, sometimes gazes off towards the distance, as if looking at an audience...

To say nothing of her fantastic power, which she claims to be “Fiction Magic”, the ability to pull from any fictional (official or not) source nearby and use magic, weapons, or abilities exhibited in the source, she doesn’t even need it on hand, she could have memorized how it works! A legendary weapon, magic that shouldn’t even exist in the real world, nothing is off limits from Sachi!

She may also use this “Fiction Magic” to transform herself, altering her shape, form, body, and abilities down to the base level into becoming a fictional character from a story, and gaining all their abilities and weapons,  or entering the story itself to experience it for herself (for fun). Though she must take care, if she becomes a fictional character, or enters the story for too long, it overwrites her personality and memories, or she becomes a part of the story in truth and unable to leave!

And yet... even when this happens, she reappears nonetheworse for the wear, returned to normal with not even a bit of trauma! If she wants, she can also apply minor fictional traits to herself and transform her body and self without changing herself fully into another character. She’s taken the form of a trainer of fantastic beasts, a cursed vampire, a former adult returned to their youth... to say Sachi is a fan of roleplaying, and playing pretend with herself and others would be an understatement of vast magnitudes. And whenever she’s bored of a form, be it one she made herself, or another character, she can simply banish the fiction and return to normal!

So what’s up with her? Wellll... in truth, she is a Branch, a life form crafted with love, care, and adoration by the Cosmic Creator Huo, gifted with more than just a few parts of Huo’s personality and preferred traits in an avatar, she was given a fantastic power with theoretically no limits to simply have fun and maybe occasionally cause a new story to appear in a setting.

Though Huo themself can temporarily possess Sachi and control her, Sachi is her own person, with hopes, dreams, and desires, and isn’t even aware of her Cosmic parentage!

Her current hope is to simply wander whatever setting she finds herself in, fictional or not, and bring herself a smile and a warmth in her chest, having fun and making other people smile is simply a bonus! To Sachi, boredom is an endless void which threatens to consume all, so she does her best to stave it off, and for other people, and with her one-of-a-kind power, it’s pretty easy to make herself a very interesting day for both her, and whoever she might run into!

Though she may cause a headache for other people, or mages that simply wish to understand her, it’s hard for people to stay mad at her for too long, given her kind and sweet (if hyperactive sometimes) personality. She’ll settle in one area for a little while, only to move onto the next, leaving the people she met with a fond memory and a smile they will hopefully never forget!

[vierafication]

About Lio

NAME OF YOUR MUSE CHARACTER: Lionnet Blodoint

ONE PICTURE YOU LIKE BEST OF YOUR CHARACTER’S FC: I don’t do faceclaims. I just don’t feel comfortable searching the internet for some random human being’s face and then pasting on a fictional character without their permission lol

TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

Lio is always, always prepared. That means that his clothes are always clean and wrinkle-free, not a hair out of place, not a spec of dirt on his boots- but also that he’s got a medkit with him at any given time. That big long coat of his carries within it gauze, small vials of different commonly used potions, bandages, medicines, a small book on herbs. I compare it to the caricature of that guy at the street corner who opens his big coat and tries to sell you stuff. While all this is primarily for healing, Lio has used some of the sharper implements in self-defense!

In regards to self-defense, Lio is actual garbage. He’s stick-thin, and while he’s perfectly healthy, he’s not the least bit muscular. He’s never been trained in much more than basic fighting skills from his school days and never plans to use them. But in certain situations, he’s proven surprisingly good at throwing very sharp objects with pinpoint accuracy and speed- which he chalks up to dumb luck. But his eye for precision and attention to detail makes him quite competent.

THREE THINGS THAT YOUR CHARACTER LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:

Reading. Lio doesn’t like to have free time- he feels every second should be devoted to something productive. But resting and relaxing is important for one’s overall well-being, so he allows himself a few luxuries. Books are one of them. He loves detective stories, mysteries, thrillers- but also might have a few sappy romance stories on his shelf. Nothing better than a comfy armchair, a new book, a cup of tea, and no one to bother you.

He can also be found reading horribly boring nonfiction works and literal textbooks because, as he says, “one should never stop learning!”

Cleaning. He cleans a lot! Everything must be perfect. Spotless. Organized especially. Everything has a place and if things are out of place this is a horrible detriment, or at least he thinks so, especially in an infirmary.

SEVEN PEOPLE THAT YOUR CHARACTER LOVES/LIKES/RESPECTS:

Quincy Pallene: Perhaps the only person Lio actually loves is Quincy. Once a Brume boy being helped out by House Argent’s Silver Table Accords, then a ward of the House, then a ward of Lio himself, then his actual adopted son. Lio treated Quincy like a responsibility at first- someone he needed to help as much as possible, but not somebody to have a relationship with. But the quiet, awkward boy was one of the few people to break down Lio’s walls and an awkward father-son bond soon emerged. Lio is consistently proud of Quincy, and would do just about anything to see his son succeed.

Anselme de Haillenarte: One of Lionnet’s friends. Yes, friends! There’s so few of those, but Anselme would top the list. He’s consistently kind, friendly- perhaps a bit too much for Lio, who much prefers quiet and gentle conversations- and also very chivalrous and honorable, traits an Ishgardian knight should have! The two manage to get along, somehow, mostly thanks to Anselme just outright deciding to be Lio’s friend and occasionally dropping in unannounced for tea.

Alexandre Belliard: Another friendly face, one he hasn’t seen in a while, but someone he also respects and enjoys spending time with (not that he’d admit it!). Alex is an older knight and a good guy to grab a drink or two with, and one of the few people Lio can talk to that agrees with him on his more conservative views regarding Ishgardian politics.

Idristan Agache: Enough time spent working together has given Lio enough to trust Idristan. Not the kind of trust that they’d share secrets or anything, or even interact at all in the world outside of the jobs they’d participated in together, but the kind of simple trust that “he’s got my back.” Still, Lio will consistently disapprove of Idris’s wanton void-hunting activities and the horrible influence they’re having on one Luca Black.

Killian de Bayle: Lio’s boss, essentially. Another healer, and one he’s come to respect greatly, though still is very confused on. Regardless, Killian’s skill, especially with his blindness, is very impressive, and Lio ranks him among the healers and chirurgeons he’d respect most.

Gemini de Argent: With a personality and temperament seemingly quite similar to Lio’s, it would appear that the two would become fast friends- unfortunately, when two people both hate talking, they won’t talk! Still, Gemini is a nobleman who cares about the world outside his own estate and has made great strides to help it, especially at his young age. Lio finds him somebody quite respectable though finds his very liberal views quite grating.

Vilette Laurent: Vilette isn’t somebody he’s really gotten to know, but has interacted with on several occasions. She seems to be reliable, respectable, honorable, chivalrous, etc. and that’s just the sort of person the world needs.

TWO THINGS YOUR CHARACTER REGRETS:

Not being there when his younger brother fell in battle, and thus not being able to save him. As well as the vast amounts of other Ishgardians he was unable to save because they were ripped in half or burned to a crisp or whatever by a horde of fucking dragons.

That he hadn’t met Quincy sooner, and that Quincy thus had to suffer under his abusive biological father for that period of time.

A PHOBIA YOUR CHARACTER HAS:

Dragons. As stated above, they’re terrifying and he has seen just about each and every way they can kill or maim a man. Lio still has trouble with this, though it’s not quite a phobia- there’s a definite primal fear there that won’t go away, but there’s also an intense hatred which easily overtakes that and consumes all else. But anything even remotely draconic will remind him of the war, and he’ll get antsy around pet dragonets and even au ra.

Tagged by @roses-and-grimoires ! Thank you for the tag. Tagging... idk yet, I have to do another one of these.