#being the ultimate fuck u to church

[2sidesofthesamesoul]

how much of Tom's quest for immortality do you think is caused or affected by religious trauma?

[weiward-gomi-blog]

My TKDB ramble theory

Here I'm going to yap all my thoughts about this game so far. (There will be spoiler if u haven't play far)

Leo said ghouls are hand picked by demons so I assume you can't just summon a demon and form a pact. But Alan said he become ghoul accidentally? That's funny. And when did they exactly become ghouls? Alan murdered Dante in middle school and ain't no way a teen can brutally break adult bones unless he's already a ghoul at that time.

Sho and Jin family is related to Darkwick too, I wonder if they know the conditions to be picked by demons? Is it simply desperation and desire? Or it got something to do with how fucked their family are?

I'm also guessing since Lucas demon forcefully take his twin bro, so there's a price beside their soul that the demon take? Is it something precious to them so the demon take it for ransom? And not to mention the side effects in that Haku mentioned.

This game also empathize EYES 👁️. Anomaly creature in campus is all eye monster, the monster that curse MC also an eye monster. Does that means Towa an anomaly or non human? Why his pupil goat/horse? Or it's because his demon is Amdusias (a horse/unicorn) ?

Something about Lyca too, according to Romanian mythology: if a werewolf dies then they will return as a vampire aka Pricolici. Unrelated to the game but it's interesting since Lyca is Romanian. Makes me wonder if DA imprisoned Lyca because they can't handle another vampire like Ed. On why he treated so hostile by DA but let Taiga roam around cuz ultimately Taiga is just a human.

Now about the clash / murder case

What we know so far is:

The murder came first before the clash (One Eyed Sleeping Beauty) the victim is someone from Ultio?

There's 5 suspect (Towa, Rui, Ed, Alan, Jiro)

Gen Students think the murder cause an uproar among Ghouls and started the clash

Many died during the clash including gen student. Known victims (Zenji Kotodama, Jiro Kirisaki)

3 houses ended up disbanding, but why the rest stay? Disbanded house: Clementia (Church), Ultio (prison across Hotarubi lake), Dionysia. Iirc there's originally 10 houses yes? With Obscuary being built 2 years ago, housing dangerous ghouls only.

And something about being pro-anomaly? I'm assuming an anomaly aggravated the ghouls to become violent? Then houses start fighting -> The Clash

I assuming the house that disbanded either lost too much blood and dispersed or the main culprits that started the Clash. Perhaps Dionysia is pro anomaly and since Ultio is the opposite they fought and Clementia tries to break them off?

[Edit: finished EP 6 and what Old Man Ed said is something that can't be ignored. The chat section in that episode help explain further]

I don't understand the politics around DA, just something about hating anomaly and the opposite. Aren't DA a research facility specifically focusing on anomaly? Idk the gen students is stupid and evil, it's literally their job. They should've be neutral not against anomaly. The Ghouls are not well liked by the Gen students with the exception of Rui and Hotarubi ghouls ig (Jin doesn't count cuz he's a nepo baby)

In return ghouls don't necessarily befriends or rely on other students. I think things would be a lot peaceful if DA takes hand in making the students and ghouls get along as a team rather than separating them from missions. Stupid ass Cornelius, I feel it's obvious they're favoring gen students more than ghouls cuz they only see them as research materials rathen than actual living beings. The ghouls keep getting hurts!

That's all the rambling for now (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/24/2023

this post and this series not sponsored by hellofresh

listening

caravan palace's new single MAD. genuinely the song i've had on loop while working but i had a very strong "ugh can't use that one it's cringe" reaction while drafting this entry and am trying to sort of sit with myself for a bit and go okay WHY is it cringe? how can we talk about it being cringe other than the fact that steampunk and electroswing are no longer fashionable? some weeks the policy of No Such Thing As A Guilty Pleasure is easier than others

i would not classify this song as electro or swing, and it's considerably jazzier than their more recent dancey pop stuff. more of a languid stroll with enough brass to keep my brain interested while i peer at spreadsheets? spotify

-

reading

Alexis Hall's A Lady for a Duke. i liked this quite a bit but i have some longer form thoughts percolating that require a reread. it was a tense but fun read, i do not know that mr hall achieved the goal he set forth below. in a broad initial stroke, there is certainly a great deal of internal conflict not helped by our trans lead’s difficulty seeing her trans self in a loving relationship.

how this conflict resolves did genuinely keep me on the edge of my seat bc i could not fucking figure out how she was going to do it

-

watching

Pandora and the Flying Dutchman (1951, dir Lewin). this is a movie where (in the immortal words of the switchblade sisters podcast) it’s not what happens, but how it happens. the movie opens with fishermen dredging up two star-crossed lovers. i will not be particularly concerned with spoilers here or in my letterboxd review.

age and a deft scorsese-backed restoration have been very kind to this sea-mist movie. cinnamon fucking topography, technicolor at some of its prettiest and best used. jack cardiff (also did Black Narcissius, The Red Shoes, The African Queen) you've fucking done it again. the restored version is on american tubi and it's so so lush and dreamy. the very first handful of scenes contains a church bell ringing wildly, giving you glimpses of commotion on the beach, and it just keeps getting better from there. the beach party, full of dutch angles and toppled statuary and debauchery and no one dancing the same, is exactly the same as every beach party i have ever been to.

james mason is at his hottest, wettest, and most brooding. not all of our main characters are as openly debauched as pandora, but all of them are just as selfish. i have a lot of fucking beef with some of the letterboxd reviewers, who are simply wrong. pandora is not supposed to be a likeable or redeemable character. i think one of the questions for YOU to answer is whether or not a flighty, homewrecking, irresponsible woman like pandora is redeemed through her willingness to die for true love-- this is generally an admirable quality in myths and fairy tales, but is it cancelled out as just another flight of her fancies that ultimately kills her?

also the people who don't "get" what the film's about and complain it's too slow. it's about insanity and the sea what's not to get!!!

thank u @dying-suffering-french-stalkers

-

playing

so we are mostly through the genshin 4.1 part 2 events. i am so tired of the past few battle events cycling through the same arenas; however, this is the first event where i read the directions and was like "augh that's too complicated we'll do that later" and did all my weekly bounties instead. speaking of bounties, i finally did enough to unlock the treasure chest locator and confirmed my suspicions that i have in fact picked over the region pretty well in the last ~two months. the liffey and research institute were at 85% and 95% respectively before i unlocked this thing, but i did almost immediately find two remarkable chests in the far south by the port. augh. would have bit me if they had teeth etc. i would prefer if the regions showed 100% when i have actually 100%ed them instead of whatever margin they have going now, but i recognize that i have brain problems.

-

making

im MAD bc i was given a singular hellofresh dinner by a friend going on vacation and it was fairly easy to make and tasted good and everything WORKED. and it was like a fun little after work project!!! and the directions said “here’s what to do to the peppers if you don’t want it super spicy” and it most importantly it all WORKED. this is a very expensive thing to have a sudden interest in. i feel like i fuck up most of the food i make and i know that's part of the learning curve but it's SO fucking expensive to fuck up food and i have such a limited amount of energy :<

[theleomarspt2]

"Ah yes, my dear faggot is finally here! Say hello to my hole, loser! It has been waiting for your tongue to kiss it deeply! Don't make it and me waits any longer and burry your face in my big sweaty butt! I ate at Mexican restaurant so i need to relieves my gas! Don't push your head off my or I'll put my dirty socks I've worn all week in your mouth while i squash my big butt on your tiny face, fag!"

That's what this godly man tells you.

What would you like this White God to be? (in all the cases he makes you smell, kiss, lick, massage his ass then sits it on your face)

It's the first time I did all the alphabet, so you can chose 4 choices maximum.

A) Dad (he humiliates you for being a fag)

B) Husband (he loves you but is dominant)

C) Occasional lover

D) Older brother

E) Younger brother

F) Boss (you try to make him likes you by obeying his orders, even the nastiest)

G) Coworker (you are too weak to resist him)

I) Best friend (he loves you but likes to jokes about making you lick his ass and you pretend to not enjoy it but you secretly do)

J) Former best friend (he hates fags like you)

K) Bully (he never stopped bullying you)

L) Uncle and/or Nephew

M) Cousin

N) Brother in law (your lover's brother)

O) Bull (he fucks your boyfriend/girlfriend but this one don't like his ass so he uses you)

P) Someone who blackmails you to do it

Q) Your landlord (you worship his ass in exchange of a lower rent. It's a win-win)

R) A star who you are forced to obey to

S) Your girlfriend /boyfriend's father

T) Your master (he does not loves you)

U) Your son (he hates that his dad is a fag)

V) The chief of a fraternity you belong to

W) You love him and hope he'll fall in love with you if you obey him

X) A priest (you go to his church often)

Y) A retired soldier (in this reality, retired soldiers can have their own ass cleaner, a fag sent to their home whenever they wants to worship their ass for as long as they wants. This man chosed you and you can't disobey)

Z) Someone else (write in your comment)

WOW he is hot, love thicker guys so this man is quite a dream man for me. I know I get to choose 4 so what I will do is I will choose 4 and rank them in what I would want them to be.

What I would want the most: Husband (he loves me but is dominant)

This is the ultimate dream for most if not all of us isn't it? To get to live a kinky lovestory. I can picture myself being his boyfriend at first, maybe he is trying his best not to show his naturally dominant side, but when he finds out I want him to be that man he realizes we are meant to be together so he proposes..... can you imagine that? To have a loving and protective yet dominant husband? that would be perfection, I receive him home daily, ready to massage his feet and sniff his farts.

Second Choice: Someone else (My boyfriend)

It is just the same mentality as the last one, except this is the step right before. In this scenario we first met because we both wanted to fulfill our kinks, but then we both realized we had so much and common and ended up falling in love. Or maybe he has a super power to make people fall in love with him when they smell their farts so now I am part of his harem. Regardless, I would LOVE to be his loving boyfriend.

My Third Choice Would be: I love him and hope he'll fall in love with me if I obey him

This is something I can definitely see myself doing, to allow myself to be disrespected and used in search for some love, but in my fantasy it ends up working out in the end.

Lastly, my fourth choice would be: Landlord (I worship his ass in exchange of a lower rent.)

I can see this being an arrangement I would like, except I am winning double (I get cheaper rent and sexual satisfaction).

[autumnalhalcyon]

Summary of the pathfinder session i played last night as a guest character in the campaign my brother is playing with his pals in greentext format:

> Be me, Vellen Shadowcaller, this country's cuntiest Cleric of Vonymos, and Fire-Infused Bright Fetchling

> Get called in by a Grave Knight to assist some party of maniacal jackasses in investigating the house of a hag who's been making life difficult for both the living and undead residents of the country

> they're being fucking ambushed by shadows and some fuckoff construct

> "Why don't I help tip the scales~?" Cast fire breath. Cast light. Slice, slice, ray of fire.

> The freaky alchemist flesh man getting flanked is no longer being flanked. Flesh man's weird flesh companion (no for the love of vonymos stOP CALLING IT "GOONER" BEFORE MY SCYTHE LOPS OFF ALL YOUR HEADS-) is putting in work

> a big metal man is throwing around the shadow construct after it decided the big skeleton man was the biggest threat and chunked his health by shoving him toward a hole in the wall

> why is that little talking doll blowing moth kisses at the skeleton man. why can't u just use harm in a normal fucking way.

> everything's defeated. consider the scales tipped.

> "a pleasure to meet you all. i've been informed you may need assistance in your endeavors." "ASSIST THERE." skeleton man has anyone ever told you that lowering your voice is free

> flesh man is immediately suggesting the talking doll take point into the freaky heartbeat wall hole. i know we all have dark vision but like. surely sending her in first without a plan is a bad idea.

> ah. speaking of bad ideas.

> the metal man just slipped into the heartbeat wall hole and got promptly dragged into the abyss.

> attempt to suggest maybe we come up with a PLAN. or maybe just let me TEND YOUR FHUCKING WOUNDS.

> there goes skelton man into the murder hole. he's being dragged away. Vonymos fucking preserve me.

> cast light on myself. bolster my fortitude with that prayer to vonymous. im next to plunge into the murder hole

> still a better plan than "shoot lightning at it"

> "vonymos, light my way, and kindle within us that burning flame of hope!"

> i am a master of my religion

> the advanced darkness cannot fucking touch me

> fucking kill the dark heart of the house by just brandishing my god's token and being Good At Church

> the metal and bone men are lying in a freaky web of shadows. bone man's pride is bruised and is feigning victory. no one has figured out what the hell this is just yet

> laughs in fetchling

> immediately deduce that someone left a fucking portal open to the gods damned plane of shadows and caused it to start possessing the entire house itself.

> the party has its clue in the form of a note, my insight about the portal, and a fancy new cloak skeleton man promptly traded the alchemist his gliding cloak to obtain.

> my work here is done

Tldr: I showed up. Kicked ass. Served cunt. Saved everyone's bacon. Knew my shit. And ultimately proved to be the best possible choice for that grave knight to throw at a shadowy problem.

[a-deadly-serenade]

nocturne review, ramblings

obvs spoilers for the show down below.

so, i'm gonna be real with y'all; i dont think i would have watched this if not for one of my mutuals spilling the beans about alucard making an appearance 💀 s4 was ok and a fine conclusion to the og castlevania that started this animated franchise, but i dont think i will ever get over the absolute fumble and frankly, insulting way they wrapped up s3. even s4 had its cringe moments, like lenore getting a peaceful sendoff and carmilla getting to kill herself. but, i digress. i was going into nocturne with an already negative mindset and that may have made me more critical of the show. can u blame me though? lmao

i had seen a few clips and screenshots on twitter when they dropped the first 3 eps early and... they only helped solidify my decision to remain skeptical of the staff's writing capabilities. shit was already a little hazy and wishy-washy with their portrayal of isaac in s2 and how they treated hector thruought the show (not to mention the two asian-coded characters in s3). let's just say, the netflix castlevania team doesnt have the greatest track record when it comes to writing poc characters. so, when i saw screengrabs just outright stating that this show was going to deal with historically accurate racism? hm.

obvs as a white woman, i can only go so far on this criticism of the writing, but i dont really understand why they needed to include this? the comparisons and allegory of freedom from indentured servitude to the french revolution, was very weak and bare bones at best. you can keep the motif of the church existing on exploitation and blood of the people-- a whole cross section of the world was involved in the crusades, which is the priests & his entourages whole deal--but, why couldnt annette just be a witch? why did this "historical accuracy" need to get involved with the time period? bcuz the french revolution was name dropped? your main villain is a hungarian countess from the 16th century that made a pact with an EGYPTIAN goddess to become all powerful. like.

and also..... why the FUCK are vampires getting involved with the intercontinental slave trade bro??? 😭 theyre immortal beings that have seen the rise and fall of empires and can do whatever tf they want and go wherever tf they want and they choose to..... own a plantation? give af abut the economy? with selling goods??? okkkkk. also, this line of dialogue is insane to me:

you cant have a central theme of your story be standing up against the oppressors and then make said oppressors fantastical monsters. what kills me is that they've delved into the monstrosity of humanity in s1 and s2, and yet, when you bring in one of the most monstrous things humanity has ever done in its history for the sake of historical accuracy, you turn the very perpetrators into something mythical, and evil that the common folk had no chance of ever defeating even if they tried. its just overall, very messy and they certainly were not the creative team to try and tackle something like this.

speaking of, the writing, again, it definitely left something to be desired. there are moments that are good, don't get me wrong. episode 6 is a particular favorite of mine, shining through with its wonderful character moments b/w annette's soul searching with her ancestors, richter and juste's heart to heart, and olrox's confessions to mizrak. tera's sacrifice to ensure maria's safety is also really well done, as well as maria's final confrontation with her father in the church. however, these were fewer and farther between than i would have liked. a lot of the scenes that played out just fine, were ultimately sullied by this series' incessant need to insert swearing into every other sentence. its something that bothered me nearing the end of s4 especially, and i've just grown tired of it. it honestly takes me out of the scene to constantly hear fuck thrown out every 2 seconds for literally... no reason. i promise y'all can write meaningful and impactful dialogue without having your characters swear lmao

the writing itself is what unfortunately makes the first half of the show kind of drag a bit. the story doesn't really know what it wants to do. none of these new characters are really given time to breathe and be really fleshed out, bcuz every time things settle down and we're given the chance to learn more about their motivations, its like they're almost scared they'll lose your attention and any down time is immediately followed up with an intense action sequence. which, dont get me wrong, if theres one thing they dont disappoint with--its the action. but, i dont think that was ever up for debate to begin with. however, i believe that the characters really suffer bcuz of this. if you've never played the games, which, i believe most people tuning in to watch these series never have, you would have no idea who maria or richter are, and, i really don't think they were given enough time to be fleshed out. half the time, richter's dialogue just ends up being naive, walmart trevor belmont sarcastic one-liners and poor maria ping-pongs b/w the blandest, generic, wonderbread toutings of 'revolution' or calling richter a dick, wanker, or anything in b/w. episode 6, one of the better episodes as mentioned previously, is where we really get to see some actual growth around richter especially. there were moments where his trauma could have been further explored earlier, but they kind of got shoved to the wayside in favor of dragging out the interworking bw all the villains. which.....

if i'm gonna talk about the villains. my initial thoughts were that nocturne was going to be a one-and-done, standalone series with its own self contained story that would be wrapped up in these 8 episodes. i was wrong. and i really dont know how they're going to keep this story going. erzsebet is already a very weak and uninteresting and, honestly, confusing ? villain? for more than half of the series, she's talked about as the mysterious and all powerful Messiah and theyre gathering all these sacrifices for her to bring her back and create an army of night creatures. why is she considered powerful? bcause she made a pact with Sekhmet, an egyptian goddess. why did she do this? who knows! why does she have such a devoted cult of loyal followers when she hasnt done anything but kill a lot of people? again, who knows. why did maria's father think that a VAMPIRE would keep him in cahoots during this whole plan and not immediately fuck him over once she got what she wanted...? who fucking knows. olrox is the most interesting of the villains but even he isnt fully explored. the motivations are just not really explained very well and the buildup to erzsebet's arrival was so sudden that i literally thought i missed an entire episode. one minute, shes hiding in the shadows and the next ? waltzing in on a golden chariot and being heralded as the people's savior?? so damn messy and honestly? i really could not have cared less about her. which is insane to say, bcuz shes literally based off of a real countess who's case and life were a special interest of mine. i just... why an EGYPTIAN goddess?? shes from HUNGARY. were there no goddesses in europe to pull from she could have made a pact with? idk man it just makes no damn sense.

i am definitely more than a little peeved that this wasn't even the complete story, bcuz they did such a poor job establishing erzsebet as a villain, that i really dont give af what crazy shit they come up with to extend the story. you show her being a big badass in the very last episode. ok, you as an audience member, are immediately shown why dracula is so feared within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. and all of that wasnt even HIM fighting!!! the worst thing i've seen miss countess bathory do over here is summon a crazy orb and turn into a furry. like, where is the story going to go from here? they fight tera? save edouard and have a night creature alliance? make maria or alucard (yes, i'll get to him) summon the portal again? which btw... machine from HELL? im not even gonna touch that can of worms. somehow bring olrox back to.....? help kill bathory? idfk

and man...... i was hoping against hope that when i found out alucard was going to make an appearance, that it was just going to be some neat little cameo at the v end of the series after the main story had concluded. a little nod, a little treat to the audience that the next series would be encompassing the events of symphony of the night. maybe we'd even get a depiction of maria and richter when theyre older, i dont know, anything but throwing him in there as an overpowered hail mary to save the day. we couldnt just let these new characters figure it out and triumph in their own way? we had to drag him into this, now? i cant even tell you how disappointed i was when i saw that sword pierce drolta. ME! the resident alucard fan since i was like mf elementary school!!! ugh.

i think this is it for me and netflix castlevania lmao im a grumpy old man and miss when it was mainly fun easter eggs to the games, like how they brought in juste or how olrox turns into a big green monster and has an attack that sends flying skulls your way, or the REMIX of RICHTER'S THEME!!! but its just gotten so silly and the writing hasnt gotten any better..... from now on, im going to simply stick to the games that made me fall in love with this series in the first place & let this be the last time i ever feel the need to bitch about new 'netflixvania' content.

[witchking-jr]

hey beloved gremlins of the web site.

I’m pondering escape and freedom from the psychological torture of fundamentalism this fine evening, and if you too escaped that maze, tell me about it.

Among people who grew up in fundamentalist religious environments and ended up leaving, you hear a lot, and rightfully so, about the trauma and grief and lost experiences of growing up that way.

I could tell you all those tales, but not now.

What about the feeling of the crack in the rigid little box, the realization the horizon is not a boundary but a portal, the sudden expansion of the self, your past self, that had the courage and boldness to say fuck it and walk out?

I had a few such moments, but the most vivid was a day in October of 2009. I had ridden my old mountain bike to a Campus Outreach event near the U of M campus. Campus Outreach was the college ministry of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, the deeply dysfunctional, patriarchal, and white supremacist church I grew up in.

We played Ultimate Frisbee, a game I hated. As I had for almost my entire time in church culture, I stayed on the sidelines, body buzzing with restless energy, which I now recognize as intuition, telling me to leave, that that place held nothing for me.

I finally, fully, listened. I made some excuse, got on my bike, and rode away. It was raining. And do you know what it fucking felt like?

It felt like that part in Pilgrim’s Progress, when Pilgrim loses his big bag of sins. I felt like I’d lost 70lb of dead weight, physically. I felt the restlessness subside, replaced by euphoria. No one could make me go back, and no one had any real leverage, except fear, and that was feeling like a rotten thread instead of the thick rope it used to be.

I rode back to the West Bank through Dinkytown in a haze of happiness. I was free. I’d freed myself. I hung around church with my family for awhile, out of guilt and habit, but that was the beginning of the end, and the birth of every other beginning: being bisexual, being nonbinary, being non-monogamous, leaving Christianity fully, changing almost every single political view I held, allowing myself to be the artist who had been pounding on the walls since I could hold a crayon. Changing myself and being changed so radically that it still makes my head spin, well over a decade later.

Fundie Christians love the narrative that someone who left Christianity was tempted, corrupted, deceived. In reality I’d realized I could fit thru the bars of the cage, the prison guard was a dead scarecrow husk, and the big scary gate was barred with a toothpick.

And since that day, I can tell you from the deepest part of my soul: every part of my life got better. Every single thing.

So tell me, where were you when you realized you were free?

[rightpastnowhere]

(submitted by @enchantedmerry)

Hi! People are sending you fluffy headcanons, so here’s some more!

Vex and Percy didn’t actually tell Tary that they’d gotten married, it’s more that they were both all caught up being sappy newlyweds and in their defence they both find it really hard to concentrate on anything around them when the other’s kissing them and calling them lovely things. Normally, Tary would just quietly leave as quickly as possible when he walked in on them making out but this time he heard Percy calling her ‘Lady de Rolo’ and he can’t really be blamed for making a squaking sound, he maybe can be blamed for assuming that they were just into some very elaborate roleplay but honestly at least his mind jumping to that makes them eloping seem less shocking.

I’ve already included this in a fic but I love the idea that part of Vex rebuilding the Dawnfather’s temple in Whitestone included making the gardens into an orchard resembling the one they saw in Pelor’s realm. Obviously, it’s very religiously symbolic but also the fruit/selling the fruit could be used to help feed the poorest of Whitestone. Also, it’s very fun to imagine that in centuries time after the specifics of vm’s exploits have begun to drift into myth some poor future Star of Whitestone having an absolute what the FUCK moment when they realise their local church just casually looks that much like the Dawnfather’s actual house.

Pike makes her kids these really elaborate birthday cakes. She asks Kaylie if she wants one too, because it feels mean to leave her out, and she acts like she isn’t bothered but then gets so chocked up when Pike makes her one anyway.

Sometimes the twins just forget that not everyone’s bi. They were mainly round each other for so long and homophobia isn’t a thing in Tal'dorie so it’s not something that comes up much. This very nearly leads to an uncomfortable situation where Vex is just barely able to stop herself from saying 'well obviously’ when one of her kids is just starting to work out their sexuality and tells her they think they want to date people the same gender as themselves.

Whitestone Castle is an incredible playground, there’s so many hidey-holes and different roots to escape capture if you’re being chased, or places to tuck away for more quiet play and avoiding siblings. Cass goes through a very disconcerting series of emotions after stumbling on one of her niblings hidden where she hid from the Briarwoods after the initial attack, the paranoid part of her brain is glad they’re learning the best hiding spots, the rest of her just hopes they never need that knowledge. Ultimately, such morbid thoughts get drowned out as the priority becomes banning magic from their games because it’s unfair, then trying to work out how to re-balance it when at least Gwen (and probably others of the quarter elves) have clearly inherited rogue stats from their mother.

_____________________

IDK THE PROTOCOL FOR POSTING SUBMISSIONS BUT I’M ADDING MY OWN THOUGHTS BECAUSE IM SCREAMING HE L P

I HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS ABOUT TARY FINDING OUT GKJRNGKRJ i knew they would try so hard to be discreet but i ALSO know they’d be giggling to themselves and grinning while calling each other husband and wife because they’re absolutely smitten with each other, and poor tary not only almost sees vex’s tits, but also becomes one of the keepers of The Secret That Shook Vox Machina. his pulse fucking skyrockets any time one of VM came to visit whitestone during the break. the poor man gets grey hairs because of this

NGEKRJGNEKJ CAN U IMAGINE SOMEONE TELLING U THAT THE LOCAL TEMPLE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE A GOD’S ACTUAL HOUSE. LIKE CAN U IMAGINE. and also the picture of vex just going through and picking fruits and organizing food drives (but also just keeping a few to herself every once in a while, so she can take them home and try to bake an apple pie like what she remembers of her mom’s). the champion of pelor, glowing golden, in an orchard in the sushine.

picturing pike trying to make a multi-tiered cake that is taller than she is, she asks percy for a step stool and he shows up with this elaborate motherfucker that has shelves at intermittent heights so she can take the icing and shit with her, because heaven forbid percy ever do less than The Most. AND PIKE MAKING KAYLIE A CAKE.... SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE FOR ME

GNKJGNEKJRN GOD the twins are so SILLY i LOVE THEM SO MUCH

AWW CASS <33 i love any content of her interacting with the lil de rolo babies, how she is brought a little out of her paranoid shell by the Joys of being an aunt <33 but i do think she and percy and vex all stay QUITE paranoid, and when they teach the kids about the protocol for if the castle is ever attacked, the fact that they’ve already been playing in the tunnels definitely makes it a little easier. (although i do wonder how often, in their earlier days of parenting, one of the babies disappeared into the tunnels and sent percy and vex into panic attacks, only for cass to show up holding them in her arms after crawling out of an entire wall LMAO)

[randomnameless]

Seeing how badly sothis/byleth get treated by intsys makes me feel really badly for them and their fans. I thought self inserts were meant to fawn over the player but instead I see the company retcon them, replace, and low but high key shitting on them. I don’t think I would ever see this with characters like Link or Persona or the little pokemon kids so I’m not sure what intsys is trying to tell us about sothis/byleth if this what we see done to them, “they’re just a mindless beast”

As I realised thanks to talking and exchanging with people around and after years of discourse...

Fodlan suffers from "self-insert worship" but in a batman 5D chess gambit, from doylist wise, "player worship". Earl Grey must sell, thus the character who always loves the player and was made, designed, as the player's love-interest (Billy's), Supreme Leader's worship takes the cake.

As already pointed out, Fodlan games try their damnest to erase or not give any figs about Flamey, the "War" is just a background buzz and units are on snow class, and if something is to blamed for the destruction and deaths caused by the war it's deflected on the mole people, "Church/Kingdom BaD because they don't offer their heads on a platter" or the world and its systum - and the worst offender, on "crusts", aka, blood from a genocided race that mingled with "humanity" and is used as the scapegoat for everything wrong in the world. The "alien blood" is to blame and the real responsible for why Miklan tried to seduce people who didn't want to be seduced, or why classicism exist.

I exaggerate a bit, Heroes tried to poke holes at this smokescreen and it ended up with Supreme Leader running away from Lissa (the most persuasive character in the franchise?) because, hey, in her verse, no one told her 1+1 = 2, or no one she couldn't introduce to Aymr I guess.

(of course we have the lol!supports from the besf, but any opposition is resolved with a teaspoon in the following supports, there's no disagreement nothing, it's always "and John realised off-screen Supreme Leader was right and he was wrong", ultimate kuddos to the Ferdie support though, the biggest joke - but again, FE16's supports kind of suck).

With that in mind, Billy was always intended to be the SS Lord, and to opposed Supreme Leader (that's the gravitas and main steak served when you order Fodlan : "u will feel bad bcs u turn against ur precious student sad uwus").

And yet, not to prevent the irl players from, idk, buying Supreme Leader merch or routes or being engaged, even if it's through foolish fan-faction wars, Billy takes a backseat as Nopes fully embrace the core of the Fodlan games : Hresvelg Tea.

Player must feel bad for siding against Supreme Leader - so Supreme Leader must somehow be right, and make people at least some of them surface-level wonder if the ends justify the means, right?

Billy, when they are their character and not a self insert UI, thus must bow down to this rule - everything must be thrown in a blender so Supreme Leader's steak will look appetising, even if you have to destroy the tastiest risotto ever done in the process.

Rhea cannot have spotlight else we will be in a Lissa situation again - so if she has any, it'll play in the red herring already debunked 10 chapters ago "Church BaD Rhea BaD maybe she should have ruled over the world instead of letting HuMaNiTy rule itself". In Nopes? Conveniently, Uncle pops up so Rhea's goal changes, and she will prefer to save the world instead of putting the person who wants her out of Fodlan by tomorrow morning because her ears are pointy to the sword.

Dimitri? "BaD" as long as he wants to kill Supreme Leader, but when he'll become the Saviour King, he'll try to spare her and regret having to kill her - fuck to Baldo, Waldi, and the "creatures masquerading as humans" I guess - in FE16 ; in Nopes, he'll also join the "Church BaD" gang, thus isn't "really" opposing Supreme Leader, right?

Clout became a thing.

And Billy? Well, Barney's existence is their nemesis, so to prop Barney they should shit on Billy, right?

But to shit on them to this point - throwing them with the other Nabateans in Nopes in the "dgaf" trashcan but also, confirming the worst theories from FE16 (Jerry's not the best dad ever) hurts. Billy was, this time, sacrificed to make place for the new self-insert, but also, imho, to showcase how the damn space lizards are evil (and not only because we're playing an agarthan game/route, but also because it checks a certain someone's agenda).

So while I think it's less something of "the devs hate Billy" it's more like "the devs want you to buy Hresvelg Tea".

[hauntedwizardmoment]

OH WAIT WAIT WAIT U HAVE HEADCANONS FOR JACE'S FORMER ADVENTURING 0ARTY. I HAVE BEEN DYIIIIING TO KNOW MORE ABT THEM

YEAH they have kind of. taken on a life of their own and atp it fully is me playing dolls w/ myself so they get banished under a cut. hashtag original characters feel free to steal

invidia hollowfang - satyr, circle of the beast druid, she's jace's bestie in the party & the only one who still talks to him after jace gets kicked out. theyre the ivy and oisin of their group while he's there, always having little asides and kikis about everything. they kind of bond over being catty as fuck and talking shit about the other party members. she can be really stubborn and not known for changing her mind when she's decided that an event went down a certain way or accepted a narrative, which is why while she's sympathetic to jace getting kicked out of the party she's ultimately like "lowkey it was kind of your fault for being a slut. love you though xoxo"

ysvelde draven - drow, fiend pact warlock + college of eloquence bard. she has a blue pseudodragon familiar. i think of her as like, a theater girlie who never got the chance to be a star. very pearl from the movie pearl. gets passed over for every lead role and she's SO sad about it, kind of throws herself into adventuring because at least she gets some sort of positive validation from that. her mom is a pushy stage parent, so she's under like a ton of pressure to get a lead role or make something of herself.

peregrine laniidae - human, champion fighter + oath of devotion paladin. i literally made up a guy to get mad at and its working. he's VERY good at his job he's a very good fighter but for me the ultimate thing that defines him is cowardice? like he will not stand up to aurora whatsoever and is so willing go to along with what's expected of him that he just. lets his friend's support system get cut out from underneath him and gets married to the person who did it.

aurora halcyon - human, life cleric. inspired directly by this girl who pretended to be my friend for YEARS to try and convert me to christianity and then ghosted me when i said i wasnt going to do that. she goes to aguefort and views her attendance like one big mission trip. her entire family is like that cult in midsommar, theyre VERY creepy looking when theyre all out together because they wear matching outfits and their smiles never really reach their eyes. unnerving. i kind of picture her as part of the proto-extremist offshoot of the solesian/helionic churches that spawns the harvestmen.

dagbert machtiger - goliath, path of the giants barbarian. he's perhaps my favorite because he's so chill. he's literally just the first guy in his family to go to adventuring school, comes from a long line of construction workers and is planning to take over the family business once he saves up enough to buy it out from his mom. is like very unaware of the seething interpersonal drama consuming his party because he's focused on actually doing their job (adventuring).

[zombiebiologist]

oh man assuming this is aimed at me: i didnt realize my stupid tag cloud was kim discourse now ;-; im so sorry!!! this is a very good post and very tasty, and ur right about how kim’s love of the RCM is a coping mechanism. as that one really good post abt kim and moralism said, it seems insane that kim being orphaned by the revolution didn’t radicalize him. but it did. to moralism. to centrism. to avoid revolution and the pain it brings. it comes from a place of pain and PTSD and childhood trauma - to maintain the status quo, because to kim, maintaining that system is better than the danger of something new. it is an understandable position, but its not a morally good or defensible one. to me, at least, it’s the central tragedy of his character, and of the RCM in general.

went on a bit of a ramble below the cut

everything i said assumes a) a fascist harry playthrough (not that the flaws arent visible in other political playthroughs, but its most obvious in that one) and b) a kim who only exists in martinase. him after is anyone's guess, and the realm of textual analysis and fan fiction - which was a lot of what i aimed my ire at. also, the events of martinase CLEARLY had a huge effect on kim - both the near-death experience and the politics at play. a kim at the start of the game would not look at harry’s firey graffiti with approval - but he does. not only is he capable of change, but he actively continues to do so throughout the course of the story! especially with the way he’s essentially chipped away at by harry over time to tolerate his goofy little side investigations. “fuck it, let’s have more cryptids.” you could also interpret that as kim respecting a superior officer, no matter how stupid, because he is a Cop and a Cop Must Support His Ranking Officer, but im gonna say its a little bit of column a and b. it seems unclear how much the double-yefretor actually affects harry’s rank vs kim, but the “pull rank” to make him dance with you in the church seems to point to that, but also that kim will use it to excuse things he wants to do anyway.

ultimately its less a criticism of kim himself and more of the fandom treatment of him. after all, kim isn’t real. he’s a beautiful work of character design, and i want people to engage with all of that. im all for a generous treatment of him and harry - what is fanfic if not wish fulfillment, especially in the context of fix-it fic and happy relationships - but ignoring the political parts of disco elysium aside from “haha funni commies” is missing the point so hard that it swerves directly into copaganda. if ur disco fanwork is just B99 set in the world of elysium...maybe rethink your plot. or dont! im not your mom! i love a fun romp in a fun world! but part of why i personally loved disco so much is specifically how it engages with politics, and its a massive part of the story and characters. ignoring that to make kim a perfect boyfriend is poor understanding of the text at best, and liberal copaganda at worst.

theres also a fair few other good points i missed but are beyond the scope of this tumblr post: how a 1:1 comparison to american police politics is both inaccurate and imperialist (as soviet citizens militias had EXTREMELY different cultural and legal roles compared to american hypermilitarized cops), the choice disco devs made specifically to make kim half-east asian (rooftop koreans, anyone?) and the many other fun ways the game intersects race class and ideology politics, both in regards to kim and not.

anyway stan kim kitsuragi we love interesting complex characters in this house. love thank funky little police officer. also disco elysium is an utterly lovely work of media that deserves a million rambling posts and papers of analysis, even and especially if they disagree with me. its a Good Work Of Art!!! analyze that bitch!!! love u all fuck da world

i’m hesitant to jump into the Kim Discourse but i disagree with statements that boil down his worldview/morality to “kim is a good cop first and foremost, no matter what”

there are so many examples of him doing shit in the game that directly compromises the reputation and aims of the RCM, and not just in a corrupt cop type of way (though there is some of that, obviously)

if kim only cared about being a good cop, why does he go along with harry’s unhinged side missions and whims at pretty much every chance he gets, putting aside the murder investigation? we know that he has “authority off the charts” and could make harry toe the line, but he almost never does. he has a stern affect, but it’s often just for show.

if kim only tolerates/likes harry because he is a detective of the RCM, why does kim clearly get joy from their adventures that have nothing to do with, and even sometimes interfere with, their police work? just because kim says that line to harry about how “an officer of the RCM shouldn’t be on the street” doesn’t mean he necessarily believes, even in the beginning of the game, that harry is only really valuable as a detective of the RCM. he may project that as a value he has adopted, but that doesn’t mean it’s truly how he feels.

kim uses his position in the RCM as a way to distance himself from things that are messy, like politics and emotions. it’s easier for him to say to harry “no RCM detective should be on the street” than “i care about you for some reason i can’t explain and don’t want to see you sleep in the dumpster.” because he’s a pathetic little man who can’t talk about his feelings

i’m not saying that kim isn’t misguided or that his admiration for the RCM isn’t misplaced. because he is, and it is. but making his seemingly unwavering devotion to the RCM the salient aspect of his character at the expense of other things just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.

also arguing that kim could never grow or be radicalized is doing him a disservice, imo. knowing harry for a week makes kim confront the rigidity of his thinking about reality itself. is it really so strange that he could have the potential to reflect and reevaluate his worldview? the game didn’t make its characters so complex and human for them to remain rigid and unchanging.

[cosmicanamnesis]

OOhhh I would love to hear about your hate for the Scarlet Letter!! I read Wide Sargasso Sea from the list in the post and it was okay. Written like a classic so not always the easiest to understand. And I had to read it for a class, which usually make me dislike the books more. Crazy as I am getting a degree in English and literature classes are my favorite.

see that was the only one on the list i'd never actually heard of so i might have to look into it. but yeah i was in the "I'm Here For English/Art/Choir And Nothing Else" camp in school. most of the classics we had to read i either threw my whole ass into (see: The Grapes of Wrath) or i'd give it a couple chapters and then sparknotes it from there (sorry Great Gatsby. baz luhrmann made a very entertaining movie out of u tho)

anyway this song is called I Will Raise Nathaniel Hawthorne From The Grave Just To Kill Him Again (under a read more bc this literally does not matter nd if u liked The Scarlet Letter u can just scroll right on by)

fair warning: this is not a scholarly essay, this is a shitty opinion piece that i'm writing while drinking cheap shit that might maybe qualify as whiskey. that's what you're getting here.

anyway.

my beef with TSL has... frankly very little to do with the actual content of the story, other than the story is just dead fucking boring.

puritans as a subject are boring, esp if you grew up as a person being persecuted by The Church(tm) in modern america (i say, making my first unfounded broad sweeping generalization of the night). like, yeah, No Shit they were religious extremists, have you seen the legacy they left? in that way i can understand how the contemporary or modern reader is supposed to feel sympathetic towards hester. the story is presented like "look at these crazies, look how they treat their women and their community," as if we're not doing the same shit in a different font to this day. pick a point in american history, you'll find hester and pearl there because as a society by and large we have barely progressed.

not to mention the focus of the story is on hester's relationships with dimmesdale and chillingworth more than, yknow, her own development as a fully realized person (rather than a representaion of Theoretical Complexity; a person can be both Sinful and Virtuous). because she isn't one. neither is pearl. pearl, willful and impish, is the personification of hester's sin. pearl is a prop.

does that all make the story timeless? yes, in the worst possible way.

hawthorne explores what it means to be ostracized in the most, like, affluent white boy way. like a frat bro doing shrooms and discovering empathy, hawthorne wrote the scarlet letter to show the concept of Sin And Consequences in a way that other affluent white guys might actually pick up on and say hey yeah that is a little fucked and make them realize other people are, in fact, people. if you are not in that specific demographic (which i can only hope was a purposeful target audience to teach them that message and not hawthorne himself realizing this for the first time) the philosophy is pretty fuckin weak. or. not so much Weak as it is Shallow, but ultimately it's both.

all to say, i was pretty clearly not the target audience here, and i think i have a pretty valid reason to not give a fuck abt TSL. that is not the reason why i so passionately hate this book.

the town i'm from has a pretty significant mormon population. i don't know if you know anything about mormons, but basically, LDS tradition has rules clearly outlining under what circumstances a person is meant to be shunned by the church. one of those conditions is apostasy, when a member officially leaves or is forcibly removed from the church and is declared an apostate by the temple. why do i know this? my best friend for a long time went through this process when they were 16 and living with me because their family kicked them out for being queer. not too long after this, TSL was assigned reading, and the class i was in was like 80% Assorted Christian denominations, the major one being... ding ding ding the fucking mormons.

so. put yourself in my spot. you are having Teacher-Lead Discussions about the topics and morals in TSL and on one side you have queer kids, atheists, Intelligent Troublemakers, etc, and on the other side you have a Protestant Army led by a Mormon Vanguard. nothing will make you hate a book like a dozen kids with absolutely no self awareness.

that segment pretty much boiled down to

"wow can you believe how CrAzY the Church(tm) used to be? :P"

"uh... yeah... you haven't changed."

"WHAT? pshhh OUR denomination is Nothing like /that/, women can wear pants outside of church activities now!"

"ok how do you feel about adultery when one's husband is presumed dead?"

"well. uh."

so to conclude: the Scarlet Letter is a very shallow criticism of early american puritan doctrine and the way that it's treated as a deeply profound classic is more of a reflection on the modern White Patriarchy than it is on the Puritans. and dont get me wrong, i think it's a pretty good subject for a high school lit class, if for no other reason than it teaches kids to recognize how morals and ideals are passed down even over hundreds of years. its a perfect example of that.

book fuckin sucks tho

[eileenthecrow]

why is disco elysium one of the best games in the world

[horde-princess]

jesus/adora meta pwease 👉👈😳

okayokay ive been thinking about this for a long time and the reason ive never written about it is because like. its so BIG. i like to think of adora’s character as a reflection of noelle’s experiences as a former christian, and there is still so much to dive into with that- however i do agree there’s another more abstract layer to adora’s story that challenges some bigger theological ideas. this is probably about to sound wild lksjljfdf i’ll try my best to explain my thought process just disclaimer that it will not make any sense 😌 when do my metas ever make sense tbh. U KNOW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME BYE

Parallel 1: There’s at least one jesus/adora parallel that’s undeniable and that’s the whole ancient prophesied messiah thing. this wasn’t in the original motu lore so you know it was added for a reason.

Parallel 2: Adora was raised by shadow weaver and light hope to be a willing sacrificial lamb.. the isaac to their abrahams. her faith in god (aka her allegiance to the horde / first ones) demanded that she sacrifice herself to save the world.

i think these 2 parallels provide sufficient evidence to move on with this analysis but later i wanna mention some of the more specific details bc they are super interesting! but yeah for now--there was clearly some theme going on here about subverting the story of jesus... adora was given a divine destiny to save etheria, but save it from what? and why does it matter?

She-Ra criticizes the penal substitutionary atonement theory

what the fuck is that right lsdfdkj I WARNED YOU THIS WAS GONNA BE ABOUT THEOLOGY

ok basically. evangelical christians like to say that jesus died to save us from our sins, but what they actually believe is that jesus died in our place to save us from god’s wrath. that’s an important difference. let me uhh put it another way

god defined sin (as disobeying him), created humans to be inherently sinful, decided he would punish us for the way he made everything.. then sent jesus to save us (from his own unjust anger?? as if it’s an act of mercy lmao)

in a similar way, horde prime defined sin as disobedience, then decided he should kill everyone for it. but he is a 1D villain for the purposes of the show right so instead of prime sending adora as a savior, it’s light hope who sends her. a lil confusing but its all part of the same story light hope is just another metaphor for religion. so far adoras story = jesus.

AND THEN THIS IS THE GENIUS PART--as we know adora’s destiny was never light hope sending her to the world, that was all a lie... her true powers, her true “destiny” came from being chosen BY the world.

!!!!!!! THERE IS. so much here. the whole christian narrative is flipped. writing the next part in italics because its important lkdfjldj

in christianity, a good god sends a savior from heaven to redeem an evil world. in she-ra, it’s an inherently good world that chooses it’s own human hero to save it from an evil god.

which (finally) brings us back to how she-ra criticizes the evangelicals atonement theory. because humanity doesn’t deserve god’s wrath any more than the etherians deserved prime’s wrath. condemning people for disobeying arbitrary rules (e.g. “believe jesus is the only path to life”) makes no sense. however..... if disobedience is not a sin, that means there is no need for atonement. no need for atonement = no savior. no sacrifice. 

tl;dr she-ra compares jesus--a deity sent from heaven as a sacrifice--to adora, a human chosen by the world itself, who avoided that same sacrifice. to me this is a rejection of the idea that humanity needs a divine savior. and beyond that, a rejection of the specific evangelical theory that we needed him to die in our place because we are sinful.

Resurrection through love instead of faith

ok that was a lot lsdkjfld but.. to shift gears a little..... the fact that adora’s sacrifice was unnecessary isn’t as important as how the sacrifice was avoided.

i said before that god defined sin as disobedience but in practice that just means having any personal desire that exists outside of him. shadow weaver and light hope tell adora that in order to follow her destiny she has to “let go” of her friends... as if they’re mutually exclusive, her desires and faith cannot coincide, she must choose between them. its a reflection of the same kind of black & white ultimatums you hear in church. this is how the show was able to frame adora’s love for catra as sinful without explicitly stating it.

when adora ignores her mentors guidance and kisses catra..... first we all cried ldkfj but also. she is committing the ultimate “sin” !! she’s giving into her desires so, according to the dichotomy set up by sw and lh, she’s also rejecting her destiny/faith by default. 

but then... it’s this sin that actually saves adora’s life, whereas faith would’ve led to her death. wait hold on i [goes outside and screams]

so jesus and adora followed very similar destinies right. jesus spends his life rejecting his personal desires, dies for god, and god resurrects him for his obedience. but adora LIVES and its BECAUSE she embraces her earthly desires, leaving behind the religious idea that rejecting your desires leads to salvation.... which is once again the opposite of jesus. like jesus died to save an evil world from sin, but in contrast adora reclaimed her “sin” as something good and it saved her from death, it saved her from needing resurrection at all !!!!! at least, not from god. maybe catra’s kiss symbolizes a different kind of resurrection, one inspired by love instead of faith. new life that isnt earned through sacrifice but given freely (as christians like to claim god’s grace is).

THAT IS SO LDKJFLDFJDDF and this entire time i havent even MENTIONED the fact that this is all in relation to LESBIAN love and LESBIAN desires which is obviously the point of the show and why these themes hit so hard. but even when you take away the lgbt aspect, she-ra still holds up as a fantastic criticism of evangelical theology.

........ 🙂 ok i think my brain is broken jdjdjsj why did i write this

[cerealmonster15]

do u wanna see what they used to look like. well im going to show u anyway but under a readmore bc im embarrassed but not enough to not do it LOL <3

i had to look at it so you do also. tho some of you were here during the dark ages and probably saw these in realtime,,, ur so strong and brave for that FDSJKLGHDKSLFJ really anyone following me while i was in college is so brave i was really. hm. anyway look at baby's first digital doodles

actually ya heres the very first post

like im not gonna lie it's hard to look at LOL. but i gotta give past me credit of like,,, trying!!! being adventurous enough to play in the space and try to figure out colors and shit even tho i very much didnt know what i was doing and also was very aware that i didnt know what i was doing lol. i ALSO had a very old, small, partially busted tablet i took that my mom wasnt using and it didnt have pen pressure lol

ok this isnt digital but like. god damn i forgot how mad i was about ^ that LOL it was literally my first ao3 fic and i think my first Proper Fic,,, me being mad and writing angsty fanfic about it 😤

sdfklsdgjkl god. ok this was me trying to figure out a facecanon for doc, ultimately i landed on curly bun which is apparently a favorite of mine bc SEVERAL!!!! of my ocs!!! ALSO have curly buns!!!!! i think theyre just fun to draw lol. i was also still really not grasping the "less is more" concept with details so like, i wanted these guys to look kinda battle worn/scarred/doc i guess i was trying to give bags under his eyes but i didnt really know how to do that subtley lol. also i was in the animal crossing esque nose era / it was a relatively popular way to do noses as simple shapes on tumblr at the time i think?

wjfldkshgjdf i was big mad..................

WAIT WAIT WAIT

god. does anyone fucking remember the yeehaw saga. probably not but it was a running joke on my blog for a while i think JKFLDSJFKLDSJ mostly me + two mutuals that enabled me + some anons and maybe other mutuals idr but there were a lot of SHITPOSTS as they say, of church in cowboy hats singing country songs. sometimes tucker and/or donut were there. i think tucker was trying to kill church about it. i dont remember where or why it started tho l o l. i think i was calling it the yeehaw discourse. good times.

i can see here i was still putting eyes too high in the skull lol i didnt really learn better eye placement til college in a painting class,,, anyway i was always on that donut rarepair grind ksdljflks

GRIMMONS KFDSLJFKL this was from one of those emoji prompt request things someone sent me. im surprised anyone ever sent me prompts but quite a lot of stuff i found were from those. maybe people were just enabling me JKFJDSKLFH but also i feel like doing draw prompt things was more common in the 2010s compared to now, we were just alway sending people things for funsies. also i dont know if that worlds worst grif cup is something from the show or if i just was like "sarge would give him that" fjksdljfkg also. blond simmons era. i literally have no memory of every drawing him that way but apparently i did??????? i also kept swapping around where their swapped body parts/cyborg bits are lol like you can see in the simmnut doodle that i had drawn simmons w/the long curly hair [which was also red but it's not a colored doodle there lol] and then for some reason i guess i changed to short blond curly??? i literally dont know why i did that. i dont have ANY memory of drawing simmons this way even tho like, i do have vague memory of drawing this specific post bc i hadnt drawn many shirtless people ever lololol. but like literally whenever ive thought back to my rvb facecanons ive been like "yeah i kept giving everyone long curly hair, like donut doc simmons grif-" WHERE DID THE SHORT BLOND BITCH COME FROM??? I DONT REMEMBER DOING THAT!!!

ok this one was also

a pose prompt someone sent me KJFLJDSKLFJDSK IT'S SARGE WITH GRILLBY FROM UNDERTALE LOL i did not have any experience drawing Old Men. i still dont tbh but id like to think i know a little bit more about looking at references and doing my best

oooh ok here was a progress post!!! i think ive always drawn donut w/a bun lol theres like maybe a handful of times i was like "hmm maybe i should try short hair since something something army haircuts let's try something else" but i always went back to the bun lol it just felt RIGHT. ALSO blood gulch was a sham army anyway so who says they gotta follow hair regulations..... also i can do whatever i want forever in my mind palace jkfjdklsjfkl

what happened to me that made me suddenly afraid of coloring things. i dont know something in the last few years snapped in my brain and i was like I CANT DO THIS and i havent been so adventurous... where is the whimsy i need my WHIMSY!!! i knew my shit was bad back in the day but that DIDNT STOP ME!!! BESTIE GET IT TOGETHER!!!

WAIT okay now i have to just post all of these bc even tho they look really bad it's just me "redrawing" [so loosely using that term lol] some of my favorite simmons and donut dialogue from the show lmao 😭

like at first i was like what the hell is going on here- but now i remember the dialogue FLDJSKFLHSG those scenes are so funny i forgot about them GOD i love when donut and simmons are megabitches to each other theyre SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYY donut was such a funny scene partner for literally anyone when the writers would remember to use him for more than an occasional one liner. sorry i have nothing to say about the actual drawings here i just love those scenes from the source material. actually i lied i do have things to say about the drawing lol idr why when i also went ot the short hair simmons era i changed where he and grif had the body mod things, like i just have two half assed spots on his neck whereas before it was a robo eye 🤔 maybe it didnt feel realistic or i was just overwhelmed drawing all that lol idr. also i see my arms too long disease even tho they dont even have full bodies lol i can TELL i was fucking it up. thats always been an issue ive had and tbh i still do it but HOPEFULLY not AS bad / i catch it more often now lol. arms too long hands too small head too big you know how it is......... gotta do full body practice more lolol

anyway simmons pretending to be a blue and donut not knowing what the fuck is going on and then arguing with simmons about it is so so so funny to me those two are little BITCHES forever i love it. therye so funny. underrated duo of the century for real.

okay i dont want to share any more bc im too embarrassed/this just turned into a blab session [what else is new. i always do that. JKFLJDSFKLDSJG] ummmmmmm thats all for cereal's trip down memory lane FOR NOW!!!! bye

r..... RED TEAM!!!! RED VS BLUE JUMPSCARE AWWOOOOO OOGA BOOGA BLAWHAUWAHWAAAAA 👻👹👾

you know. i had to go look at my old rvb drawings to try and remember what any of my not donut facecanons looked like and A. i took so much psychic damage in there........ and B. i apparently never really figured out what i wanted simmons to look like. like i just remembered drawing him w/long red curly hair but then a lot of what i found was short and blond?? sure. whatever. i think now id do short curly red hair but i didnt wanna color anything today lol

anyway also doc is here bc in my mind he married into red team via donut teehee :3

[technicalchaotic]

I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE HOPE OF MORNING!!!!!!!! AND ALL THE GAMKAR FICS U WORKED ON !!! ( sorry for screaming i just got excited asodighag ) id happily listen to anything u have to say about them !!!!!!!

You have no idea how happy it makes me that a fic I started writing like six fucking years ago still has people that care about it.

Let's talk about clown kids.

> Clown church specifically relating to Gamzee's childhood in Hope of Morning

So I subscribe to the fanon that purple blood lusii are universally or near universally useless. The Mirthful church in HoM is, at its core, the solution to that.

The church in the HoM modern day has multiple branches, but for this post we're looking at the Lusus clade.

The Lusus clade is made up of all the adult and subadult trolls tasked with finding and raising the purple kids on alternia. It's a position of high honor in the church, and its members mark themselves out with lime-bleached hair.

SO. The lusus clade. Higher in rank than the laughsassin elite, coming in just below the high priests, and generally a troll might transition from dedicate lusus to high priest multiple times over a career.

[DAMNIT I hit post on my drafts too soon. Stand by]

At the beginning of the dark season, when the nights are getting longer but the storms haven't set in yet, dedicates set out in pairs to search the surrounding area for the season's wrigglers. The focus is on kids in the two-three sweep range, but kids slip through the cracks (Gamzee was around 5 sweeps) or get picked up super young if they need to be (Kalton hadn't pupated yet). Generally if they haven't been found or gone looking for a church to join on their own, purple kids don't make it much past about 4.

Now, Gamzee was a ways outside the normal radius, well into seadweller territory. He only really got picked up by Sister Infernal because she is insane and stays out longer and goes out farther on her own than most pairs do. Luckily for him goatdad had eaten most of the local large fauna and the few intruding seadwellers long before Gamzee existed. He was still starved, undersized, frail, and sopor-addicted when Infernal found him and brought him back to the church.

Detox is honestly pretty routine for kids coming into the church. Gamzee was an advanced case, but he was also the first recorded descendant of the Grand Highblood, so nepotism worked in his favor there. Eventually he joined the subjugglator ranks on a track to command, with the understanding that eventually (in a few hundred sweeps or so) he would take over the church. Gamzee in HoM is actually pretty smart and relatively well-educated. It's just 7 sweeps of rigorous training didn't cure him of being a terminal airhead.

So Gamzee grew up from an abandoned feral dog into beloved favorite child into a young and capable warrior prince who was extremely well liked by his peers. His capture and presumed death honestly turned the tide of the conflict between the church and the empress in a number of different ways. Losing Gamzee was a massive blow to morale, and destabilized the church's leadership in really dangerous ways that ultimately ended at the beginning of HoM