#being the 'parses reality through media' guy and all

[4lph4kidz]

the way jane has the alice in wonderlife coding during early act 6 and yet she's not even invited to the tea party at the end. janejasprose could've been real we could have had it all

[liquidstar]

I feel as if many people, myself included, have been having problems with the way “critical thinking” is conducted in fandom circles more and more. Which I’d say is a good thing, because it means we’re thinking critically. But still the issues with the faux-critical mentality and with the way we consume media through that fandom group mentality are incredibly widespread at this point, despite being very flawed, and there are still plenty of people who follow it blindly, ironically.

I sort of felt like I had to examine my personal feelings on it and I ended up writing a whole novel, which I’ll put under the cut, and I do welcome other people’s voices in the matter, because while I’m being as nuanced as I can here I obviously am still writing from personal experience and may overlook some things from my limited perspective. But by and large I think I’ve dissected the phenomena as best I can from what I’ve been seeing going on in fandom circles from a safe but observable distance.

Right off the bat I want to say, I think it's incredibly good and necessary to be critical of media and understand when you should stop consuming it, but that line can be a bit circumstantial sometimes for different people. There are a lot of anime that I used to watch as a teenager that I can’t enjoy anymore, because I got more and more uncomfortable overtime with the sexualization of young characters, partly because as I was getting older I was really starting to realize how big of an issue it was, and I certainly think more critically now than I did when I was 14. Of course I don’t assume everyone who still watches certain series is a pedophile, and I do think there are plenty of fans that understand this. However I still stay away from those circles and that’s a personal choice.

I don’t think a person is morally superior based on where they draw the line and their own boundaries with this type of stuff, what’s more important is your understanding of the problem and response to it. There are series I watch that have a lot of the same issues around sexualization of the young characters in the cast, but they’re relatively toned down and I can still enjoy the aspects of the series I actually like without it feeling as uncomfortable and extreme. Others will not be able to, and their issues with it are legitimate and ones that I still ultimately agree with, but they’re still free to dislike the series for it, after all our stance on the issue itself is the same so why would I resent them for it?

Different people are bound to have different lines they draw for how far certain things can go in media before they’re uncomfortable watching it and it doesn’t make it a moral failing of the person who can put up with more if they’re still capable of understanding why it’s bad to begin with and able to not let it effect them. But I don’t think that sentiment necessarily contradicts the idea that some things really are too far gone for this to apply, the above examples aren’t the same thing as a series centered solely around lolicon ecchi and it doesn’t take a lot of deep analysis to understand why. It’s not about a personal line anymore when it comes to things that are outright propaganda or predatory with harmful ideals woven into the message of the story itself. Critical thinking means knowing the difference between these, and no one can hold your hand through it. And simply slapping “I’m critical of my interests” on your bio isn’t a get out of jail free card, it’s always evident when someone isn’t truly thinking about the impact of the media they consume through the way they consume it.

I think the issue is that when people apply “Critical thinking” they don’t actually analyze the story and its intent, messages, themes, morals, and all that. Instead they approach it completely diegetically, it’s basically the thermian argument, the issue stems from thinking about the story and characters as if they’re real people and judging their actions through that perspective, rather than something from a writer trying to deliver a narrative by using the story and characters as tools. Like how people get upset about characters behaving “problematically” without realizing that it’s an intentional aspect of the story, that the character needs to cause problems for there to be conflict. What they should be looking at instead is what their behavior represents in the real world.

You do not need to apply real-world morals to fictional characters, you need to apply them to the narrative. The story exists in the real world, the characters and events within it do not. Fictional murderers themselves do not hurt anyone, no one is actually dying at their hands, but their actions hold weight in the narrative which itself can harm real people. If the character only murders gay people then it reflects on whatever the themes and messages of the story are, and it’s a major issue if it's framed as if they’re morally justified, or as if this is a noble action. And it’s a huge red flag if people stan this character, even if the story itself actually presents their actions as reprehensible. Or cases where the murderers themselves are some kind of awful stereotype, like Buffalo Bill who presents a violent and dangerous stereotype of trans women, making the character a transmisogynistic caricature (Intentional or otherwise) that has caused a lot of harm to the perception of trans women. When people say “Fiction affects reality” this is what they mean. They do not mean “People will see a pretend bad guy and become bad” they mean “Ideals represented in fiction will be pulled from the real world and reflected back onto it.”

However, stories shouldn’t have to spoon-feed you the lesson as if you’re watching a children’s cartoon, stories often have nuances and you have to actively analyze the themes of it all to understand it’s core messages. Oftentimes it can be intentionally murky and hard to parse especially if the subject matter itself is complicated. But you can’t simply read things on the surface and think you understand everything about them, without understanding the symbolism or subtext you can leave a series like Revolutionary Girl Utena thinking the titular Utena is heterosexual and was only ever in love with her prince. Things won’t always be face-value or clear-cut and you will be forced to come to your own conclusions sometimes too.

That’s why the whole fandom-based groupthink mentality about “critical thinking” doesn’t work, because it’s not critical. It’s simply looking into the crowd, seeing people say a show is problematic, and then dropping it without truly understanding why. It’s performative, consuming the best media isn’t activism and it doesn’t make you a better person. Listening to the voices of people whom the issues directly concerns will help you form an opinion, and to understand the issues from a more knowledgeable perspective beyond your own. All that means nothing if you just sweep it under the rug because you want to look infallible in your morality. That’s not being critical, it’s just being scared to analyze yourself, as well as what you engage with. You just don’t want to think about those things and you’re afraid of being less than perfect so you pretend it never happened.

And though I’m making this post, it’s not mine or anyone else’s job to hold your hand through all this and tell you “Oh this show is okay, but this show isn't, and this book is bad etc etc etc”. Because you actually have to think for yourself, you know, critically. Examples I’ve listed aren’t rules of thumb, they’re just examples and things will vary depending on the story and circumstance. You have to look at shit on a case-by-case basis instead of relying on spotting tropes without thinking about how they’re implemented and what they mean. That’s why it’s analysis, you have to use it to understand what the narrative is communicating to its audience, explicitly or implicitly, intentionally or incidentally, and understand how this reflects the real world and what kind of impact it can have on it. 

A big problem with fandom is it has made interests synonymous with personality traits, as if every series we consume is a core part of our being, and everything we see in it reflects our viewpoints as well. So when people are told that a show they watched is problematic, they react very extremely, because they see it as basically the same thing as saying they themselves are problematic (It’s not). Everyone sees themselves as good people, they don’t want to be bad people, so this scares them and they either start hiding any evidence that they ever liked it, or they double down and start defending it despite all its flaws, often providing those aforementioned thermian arguments (“She dresses that way because of her powers!”).

That’s how you get people who call children’s cartoons “irredeemable media” and people who plaster “fiction=/= reality!” all over their blogs, both are basically trying to save face either by denying that they could ever consume anything problematic or denying that the problematic aspects exist all together. And absolutely no one is actually addressing the core issues anymore, save for those affected by them who pointed them out to begin with, only for their original point to become muffled in the discourse. No one is thinking critically because they’re more concerned with us-vs-them group mentality, both sides try to out-perform the other while the actual issue gets ignored or is used as nothing more than a gacha with no true understanding or sympathy behind it.

One of the other issues that comes from this is the fact that pretty much everyone thinks they’re the only person capable of being critical of their interests. That’s how you get those interactions where one person goes “OK [Media] fan” and another person replies “Bro you literally like [Other Media]”, because both parties think they’re the only ones capable of consuming a problematic piece of media and not becoming problematic themselves, anyone else who enjoys it is clearly incapable of being as big brained as them. It’s understandable because we know ourselves and trust ourselves more than strangers, and I’m not saying there can’t be certain fandoms who’s fans you don’t wanna interact with, but when we presume that we know better than everyone else we stop listening to other people all together. It’s good to trust your own judgement, it’s bad to assume no one else has the capacity to think for themselves either though.

The insistence that all media that you personally like is without moral failing and completely pure comes with the belief that all media that you personally dislike has to be morally bad in some way. As if you can’t just dislike a series because you find it annoying or it just doesn’t appeal to you, it has to be problematic, and you have to justify your dislike of it through that perspective. You have to believe that your view on whatever media it is is the objectively correct one, so you’ll likely pick apart all it’s flaws to prove you’re on the right side, but there’s no analysis of context or intent. Keep in mind this doesn’t necessarily mean those critiques are unfounded or invalid, but in cases like this they’re often skewed in one direction based on personal opinion. It’s just as flawed as ignoring all the faults in the stuff you like, it’s biased and subjective analysis that misses a lot of context in both cases, it’s not a good mindset to have about consuming media. It’s just another result of tying media consumption with identity and personal morals. The faux-critical mentality is an attempt to separate the two in a way that implies they’re a packaged deal to begin with, making it sort of impossible to truly do so in any meaningful way.

As far as I know this whole phenomena started with “Steven Universe Critical” in, like, 2016, and that’s where this mentality around “critical thinking” originated. It started out with just a few people correctly pointing out very legitimate issues with the series, but over time it grew into just a trend where people would make cutesy kin blogs with urls like critical-[character] or [character]crit to go with the fad as it divulged into Nostalgia Critic level critique. Of course there was backlash to this and criticism of the criticism, but no actual conversation to be had. Just people trying to out-do each other by acting as the most virtuous one in the room, and soon enough the fad became a huge echo-chamber that encouraged more and more outrageous takes for every little thing. The series itself was a children’s cartoon so it stands to reason that a lot of the fans were young teens, so this behavior isn’t too surprising and I do believe a lot of them did think they were doing the right thing, especially since it was encouraged. But that doesn’t erase the fact that there were actual real issues and concerns brought up about the series that got treated with very little sympathy and were instead drowning out people’s voices. Though those from a few years back may have grown up since and know better (Hopefully), the mentality stuck around and influenced the norm for how fandoms and fandom people conduct any sort of critique on media. 

That’s a shame to me, because the pedestal people place fandom onto has completely disrupted our perception on how to engage with media in a normal way. Not everything should be consumed with fandom in mind, not everything is a coffee-shop au with no conflict, not everything is a children’s cartoon with the morals spoon-fed to you. Fandom has grown past the years of uncritical praise of a series, it’s much more mainstream now with a lot more voices in it beyond your small community on some forum, and people are allowed to use those voices. Just because it may not be as pleasant for you now because you don’t get to just turn your brain off and ignore all the flaws doesn’t mean you can put on your rose-tinted nostalgia goggles and pretend that fandom is actually all that is good in the world, to the point where you place it above the comfort and safety of others (Oftentimes children). Being uncritical of fandom itself is just as bad as being uncritical of what you consume to begin with. 

At the end of the day it all just boils down to the ability to truly think for yourself but with sympathy and compassion for other people in mind, while also understanding that not everyone will come to the same conclusion as you and people are allowed to resent your interests. That doesn’t necessarily mean they hate you personally, you should be acknowledging the same issues after all. You can’t ignore aspects of it that aren’t convenient to your conclusion, you have to actually be critical and understand the issues to be able to form it. 

I think that all we need is to not rely on fandom to tell us what to do, but still listen to the voices of others, take them into account to form our opinion too, boost their voices instead of drowning them out in the minutiae of internet discourse about which character is too much of an asshole to like. Think about what the characters and story represent non-diegetically instead of treating them like real people and events, rather a story with an intent and message to share through its story and characters, and whatever those reflect from the real world. That’s how fiction affects reality, because it exists in reality and reflects reality through its own lens. The story itself is real, with a real impact on you and many others, so think about the impact and why it all matters. Just… Think. Listen to others but think for yourself, that’s all.

[likeadog]

okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it

TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.

cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault

also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)

let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.

*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.

so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.

So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"

There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.

(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)

However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.

When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.

1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.

2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.

BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.

3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.

4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.

Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.

However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.

and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.

Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.

The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.

(yes...this is a thing.)

The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.

This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.

Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.

Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.

And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.

[bogkeep]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

its not really a big issue but my boyfriend continues to follow random girls on instagram and i have expressed to him that it makes me uncomfortable and feel insecure. i dont like the feeling i get when i see that he’s liked bikini photos of them. i know he isn’t going to cheat on me but he refuses to unfollow them. this has been the subject of so many fights but he never unfollows them. am i being too much? what should i do? its really making me unhappy. please help me.

I'm going to be honest with you and say that, yes, you're being a bit much here. It's perfectly understandable and reasonable for you to feel insecure that your partner is witnessing other people who are attractive and intriguing to him. But the fundamental reality of this is your boyfriend has the freedom to consume any sort of media he wants. And if he enjoys looking at hot girls on the internet, and liking their pictures, then that's his business. You cannot restrict his viewing of this; you're not allowed to control them like that. You're welcome to vent your frustrations with the situations, and ask that he tone it down a bit. But if he doesn't feel like doing that, then he's welcome to continue, and that's something that you're going to have to learn to deal with on your end.

As long as your partner is respecting the boundaries of your relationship, then that's that. As long as your partner is not being unfaithful to you, and he is giving you all the love and attention you need, then you have no space to complain about what kind of things he's doing on his own time, on social media.

The heart of this issues stems from your insecurity, as you mentioned. So the real question that needs to be asked is what about him looking at people in bikini photos makes YOU feel insecure. He's secure in his attractions and knows that he can be in a relationship with you while also delineating that people who are attractive on the internet are people that he is not dating. So where are things not connecting for you?

Are you unhappy with your health or your body image? If so, that's okay, lots of people struggle with the way their appearance is. But appearances are malleable for the huge majority of people. So if you're feeling unconfident in the way you look, consider some healthy steps to improve yourself. I'm betting you look even hotter than most of the people that he's looking at already, so you have very little to worry about. But consider an exercise regimen to make yourself look gorg as heck.

Are you jealous that your boyfriend can find other people that are attractive to him? I hate to break it to you, but you're not Christopher Columbus. Christopher Columbus syndrome is a thing I throw around every once in awhile; it means that, just like Christopher Columbus, you weren't first, and you won't be the last. Just because you're in a relationship with this guy doesn't mean you have sole ownership over him. You weren't the first person he found attractive in his life, and you certainly won't be the last. You're not special. But guess what does make you special compared to all these other girls he's liking on the internet? YOU'RE DATING HIM. He is yours, and you are his. No other girl gets to say that, so you should be grateful of your unique situation, rather than fighting with him about how pretty other girls are. If he wanted to date one of those pretty girls, HE COULD. He could leave tomorrow, break up with you, and move on. He isn't doing that, because he's too busy dating you and enjoying you and your company. Relish in that reality.

Finally, why is all of this making you unhappy. Again, you're feelings are justified. Being unhappy is valid if that's the way you're feeling, but you should really try to dig down into that emotion. What about it actually makes you unhappy? Is it just the insecurity? Is it just that your partner has eyes for other people while being in a relationship with you? Is it that he isn't giving you the same attention as he is with those girls? You have to diagnose that for yourself. And if you don't think you'll be able to, then you should potentially consider seeking out a therapist for your insecurity. A therapist could really help you parse through your thoughts. It would be way more effective than any advice I could give you, because I'm just a dude on the internet, but a therapist can really drill into the unique situation and issues that you're struggling with, and can hopefully help you conquer the larger problems that are likely lingering just below the surface.

[beatrice-otter]

Longfic Recs, part II

Yet more recs, mostly longfic

Something Like This (285755 words) by emmagrant01 Chapters: 47/47 Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Eric Bittle/OMC, Kent Parson/Jack Zimmermann, Kent Parson/OMC, Alicia Zimmermann/Bob Zimmermann, Larissa "Lardo" Duan/Shitty Knight, OMC/OMC, Jack Zimmermann/OMC, Camilla Collins/Jack Zimmermann Characters: Jack Zimmermann, Eric Bittle, Shitty Knight, Larissa "Lardo" Duan, Original Characters, Adam "Holster" Birkholtz, Justin "Ransom" Oluransi, Taylor Whitton, Kent "Parse" Parson Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon-typical alcohol use, Angst, Demisexual Character, Slow Burn, Jack is oblivious, Bitty dates other guys, Anxiety, Jealousy, Coming Out, not hockey rpf but real teams and real people make appearances, Canon-Typical Drug Use, Happy Ending, Pining, so much horrible pining, and SMUT, so much smut omg, Fluffy Smut, Infidelity, Hockey, Not-totally-an-asshole Parse, flangst, really long fic, goes AU after sophomore year, Consensual Infidelity, You Can Play, a year in the life of Jack Zimmermann, Inspired by Real Events, The 2016 Orlando Shooting Series: Part 1 of Something Like This Summary:

Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?)

Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

of the nature of the wound (33936 words) by decinq Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Larissa "Lardo" Duan/Shitty Knight, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin, Jack Zimmermann & Kent Parson, Hockey Ensemble - Relationship Additional Tags: Jack Knew First, athletics and mental health, media relations, Closeted Character Series: Part 1 of the messes of men

Summary:

His first year in the NHL isn't easy, but Jack has spent his entire life playing through the hurt.

Pass It On (9241 words) by thefourthvine, knight_tracer Fandom:Hockey RPF Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin Additional Tags: Podfic, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes Summary:

Ninety percent of everyone's problems could be solved by a robot that just texted NO to hockey players on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sidney didn't have a robot.

taken by the sea (100495 words) by notamagnet Chapters: 2/2 Fandom:Hockey RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux, Duncan Keith/Brent Seabrook, Sidney Crosby/Original Male Character

Characters: Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Kris Letang, Marc-Andre Fleury, Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Jarome Iginla, Danny Briere, Claude Giroux, Colby Armstrong Additional Tags: Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks

Summary: Sidney wasn't looking for love, he was just looking to play hockey again, but he found Ryan anyway. (Sidney Crosby/OMC)

All For One (121996 words) by ironychan Fandom:The Avengers (Marvel Movies),Captain America (Movies),Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov, Laura Kinney

Summary: While tracking down a weapons-smuggling operation in Florida, Steve Rogers stumbles across a dead body - HIS dead body. When he, Sam, and Natasha investigate, they discover a conspiracy bigger and more bizarre than anything HYDRA has thrown at them yet.

The Not-Christmas Not-Truce of 1944 (1416 words) by dropdeaddream Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:Captain America (Movies),Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Howling Commandos, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: A Cow Additional Tags: untimely off-screen animal death, Actual New Yorker Steve Rogers, Actual New Yorker James Barnes

Summary: Bucky stabs a man in the neck.

The cow moos.

Badgering the Lawyers (6053 words) by Shrewreadings Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:The Avengers (2012) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner Additional Tags: Team, Original Character(s), Badgers Series: Part 1 of Badger-Verse Summary: All that’s unusual about the Tuesday is the badgers. Everything else is pretty normal for SHIELD.

Sure Movin' Down the Line (20173 words) by circ_bamboo Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe,The Avengers (Marvel Movies),Captain America (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Maria Hill/Sam Wilson Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Maria Hill, T'Challa, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanov Additional Tags: Canon Character of Color, Male Friendship, Latina Maria Hill, Race-related themes

Summary: Sam Wilson needs his wings fixed. Steve Rogers thinks he knows a guy who can do that, but as it turns out, Tony Stark didn't make the wings. He knows who did, though: T'Challa, the king of Wakanda and the genius behind the Wakandan Design Group. Sam, along with Rhodey and Maria Hill, goes to London to meet T'Challa . . . where unexpected dangers await them.

The Night Has Seen Your Mind (105030 words) by bomberqueen17 Chapters: 11/11 Fandom:Marvel Cinematic Universe,Captain America (Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, OCs Additional Tags: Memory Loss, Memory Alteration, Panic Attacks, Epistolary, Public Relations, Pining, Social Media, modern life adjustment, OT3, OT4, Selfies, self-redemption, Bucky Barnes Returns, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Natasha Feels, Protective Natasha, Steve Needs a Hug, Awesome Sam Wilson, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Ensemble Cast, close 3rd person POV, POV Alternating, winter widow - Freeform, Freebird - Freeform, Pop music, strong OCs, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Holds Himself At Gunpoint, bucky has opinions on rap

Series: Part 1 of Choice Is Not A Word A Bullet Knows

Summary: Steve and Sam return from a futile tour of the globe on the heels of the ghost of the Winter Soldier to find a pile of postcards with the names of confirmed-killed HYDRA agents waiting at Stark Tower: mission reports from the ghost to the only commanding officer he still feels he has. All of it is set to culminate in New York City... if Bucky can remember what he set up.

With some Clint/Natasha, Bucky/Natasha, Steve/Sam pining, a whole bunch of friendship dynamics, gratuitous pop culture references (Bucky is obsessed with pop music, as a coping strategy), slash, het, and a lot of cussing.

I Came to Win (13718 words) by Philyra Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Pepper Potts, Melinda May, Christine Everhart, Maya Hansen, Maria Hill, Natasha Romanov, Victoria Hand, Carol Danvers, Bobbi Morse, Jessica Drew, Tony Stark, Nick Fury, Darcy Lewis, Betty Ross Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Women Being Awesome, Female Friendship, Podfic Available Series: Part 1 of Get ready for it

Summary: Pepper Potts inherits a failing hockey team at 25. She builds her staff and team her way, screw what anyone else thinks. She wants a Stanley Cup.

Known Associates (294881 words) by thingswithwings Chapters: 9/9 Fandom:Marvel Cinematic Universe,The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/various OCs, Bruce Banner & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov (background), Tony Stark/Pepper Potts/James "Rhodey" Rhodes (background)

Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Peggy Carter, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Arnie Roth, Pepper Potts, Tony Stark

Additional Tags: gender performance, queer 1940s Brooklyn, Fairy!Steve, femme!Steve, stevefeels, Union Organizing, Protests, Socialism, superhero ethics, queer ethics, queer friendships, queer communities, Found Family, collective action, Polyamory, Genderqueer Character, Pacifism, Makeup, Pretty Clothes, dressing up, Drawing, Portraiture, Military Kink, Food Kink, coming out stories, staying in stories, joyful sex work, degrading sex work, Homophobia, Heterosexism, Racism, gender essentialism, Femmephobia, Ableism, Racial slurs, LGBT slurs, Body Dysphoria, canon forced masculinization, non-consensual experimentation on people, Experimentation on Children, children in peril, child death (offscreen and brief), Eugenics, Police Brutality, criminalized homosexuality, military segregation, Canon character deaths, OC character deaths, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, everyone is queer because Steve, Steve Rogers: Cartoonist of the Revolution, Steve Rogers: power bottom, Steve Rogers' Fighting Queers, bad becomes worse-good becomes great-queer becomes superqueer

Summary: Steve Rogers isn't a self-made man.

Or, how a tough little Brooklyn fairy got turned into Captain America, and then turned back.

Brooklyn Boys (8332 words) by SleepsWithCoyotes Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe,Captain America (Movies),The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Jotunheim Beast, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Friday (Marvel) Additional Tags: Gen or Pre-Slash, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant

Summary: The stray picks up a stray.

Orbit (35580 words) by Primarybufferpanel Chapters: 22/22 Fandom:Mad Max Series (Movies),Mad Max: Fury Road Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Furiosa/Max Rockatansky, Furiosa & Max Rockatansky Characters: Max Rockatansky, Furiosa (Mad Max), Cheedo the Fragile, Toast the Knowing, The Dag (Mad Max), Capable (Mad Max), The Vuvalini, The Ace (Mad Max), Keeper of the Seeds (Mad Max), Bolt the three-legged dog, Miss Giddy (Mad Max)

Additional Tags: Post-Movie(s), Max is not good at having Feels, Slow Burn, Boltcutters are the new symbol of the Citadel, Recovery, Healing, Past Rape/Non-con, Sexual Content, Miss Giddy is the tattoo artist of the Citadel, Keeper of the Seeds is Max's newest ghost, Worldbuilding, Forehead Touching

Summary: Max thought he'd never want to see the Citadel again. And yet here he is and he isn't sure why. Furiosa greets him like this was always the plan, like he is one of her scouts. She looks strong and healthy again, recovered from her wound. Perhaps that is what he came to see?

He tells himself: 'One day. Supplies and water and food'. And then 'Maybe a night rest'.

Three days later he drives away, determined not to return.

(Three months later the Citadel comes into sight again)

Wizardry By Consent (61991 words) by Sixthlight Chapters: 5/5 Fandom:Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Grant/Thomas Nightingale Characters: Peter Grant, Thomas Nightingale, Cecelia Tyburn Thames, Abigail Kamara, Original Characters Additional Tags: Future Fic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, the Senior Officer Peter AU, also featuring, Lesley May - Freeform, Beverley Brook - Freeform, Molly - Freeform, and the rest of the Usual Suspects Series: Part 1 of The Senior Officer Peter AU

Summary: Fifteen years after a headless body was discovered in Covent Garden, Thomas Nightingale is still the last wizard in Britain, and Peter Grant, newly appointed Commander for Community Engagement in the Metropolitan Police Service, has just learned the truth about the existence of the Folly.

He has one or two questions.

Like Ephraim and Menasheh (2921 words) by Starlightify Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:DCU Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jonathan Kent/Martha Kent Characters: Jonathan Kent, Martha Kent, Clark Kent Additional Tags: Alien Biology, Trans Character, Autism, Disabled Character, neurodivergent character, Parent-Child Relationship, Jewish Character, martha and jonathan kent's adventures in raising a space baby Series: Part 1 of repairing the world

Summary: There's not exactly a manual on how to raise a space baby. Martha and Jonathan do the best they can.

All the Roofs of Uncertainty (70065 words) by Kieron_ODuibhir Chapters: 12/12 Fandom:Batman (Comics),Batman - All Media Types,DCU Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Leslie Thompkins, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Wally West, Leslie Thompkins, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Sasha | Scarlet

Additional Tags: Brothers, Blood, Reconciliation, Red Hood - Freeform, Nightwing - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, You were always the Golden Boy, appearances by Superman and Impulse II, cameos by Static and Bulleteer, Everybody loves Dick Grayson, Angst, Rage, you made a choice, parenting, Wally West is the worst combat therapist, also featuring cameo by Shazam!, Families of Choice, Alfred and Leslie taught Bruce how to be a parent, which might explain a lot, gratuitous canon, Now with added Batman, now with possibly too much Batman, what even is an antihero anyway?, insufferable big brother jason todd, the girls are sadly only in the epilogue

Summary: For all the blood on his hands, Red Hood was never just a villain. And Nightwing never gives up on family, not for good.

(Or: The one where Dick bleeds a lot and Jason argues with everybody.)

In all your wanderings (16073 words) by MirandaTam Chapters: 11/11 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types,Star Wars Prequel Trilogy Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Shmi Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn, Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Mace Windu, Darth Maul, Dooku (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Slavery, Jedi Shmi, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, that's the plan at least, Shmi is the best jedi tbh Series: Part 1 of Jedi Shmi AU

Summary: Passion, yet serenity.

Shmi leaves Tatooine with Anakin and goes to the Jedi Temple.

Hindsight is Not Perfect (61864 words) by DAsObiQuiet Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types,Star Wars Prequel Trilogy,Star Wars Original Trilogy Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, onesided - Relationship Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Shmi Skywalker, Watto (Star Wars), Qui-Gon Jinn, Padmé Amidala, Yoda, Siri Tachi, Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Finis Valorum, Panaka (Star Wars), Mace Windu

Additional Tags: Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Time Travel Fix-It, Redemption, Well he tries Series: Part 1 of Force of Many Sights

Summary: Paved with good intentions or not, the road back from Hell is a difficult, slippery slope for those who choose to walk it as Anakin has. Now he has to face the consequences of his choices, avoid suspicion of everyone from the Jedi Council to Palpatine and try to prevent the future from turning out as badly Before all while somehow finding a way to balance the Force... again!

have you heard (42166 words) by peradi Chapters: 8/8 Fandom:Star Wars - All Media Types,Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey Characters: Poe Dameron, Finn, Phasma, Hux, Kylo Ren, Stormtroopers, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Rey, Han Solo, Snoke Additional Tags: stories, Revolution, The First Order Sucks, stormtroopers - Freeform, Propaganda, finn is the patron saint of revolution, fn-2187 was a storm trooper Series: Part 1 of once there was Summary: "I heard FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper."

Finn sparks a revolution.

Fundamental Force Carriers (87796 words) by tanarill Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types,Star Wars Prequel Trilogy,Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types,Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker & Yoda

Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Son (Clone Wars), The Father (Clone Wars), Yoda, Mace Windu, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Padmé Amidala, CT-7567 | Rex, CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-6116 | Kix, Aang (Star Wars), OMC, OFC, Jocasta Nu, Quinlan Vos, Asajj Ventress, Pong Krell, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Plo Koon, R2-D2, Dooku | Darth Tyranus, Grievous | Qymaen jai Sheelal, CC-2224 | Cody, Saesee Tiin, Oppo Rancisis, Adi Gallia, Even Piell, Han Solo, Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, Shaak Ti

Additional Tags: Time Travel, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Lightsabers, Meditation, Feels, Training, Jedi Training, Lightsaber Battles, The Force, The Dark Side of the Force, BAMF!Anakin, Clones, News Media, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Mathematics, Quantum Mechanics

Series: Part 1 of Probability Matrices

Summary: The Sith Lord Darth Vader lived his life. He probably didn't live it well, but he lived it as well as he knew how. At the end there, he'd even managed to woman up and kill Sidious. But he was dying, and at peace with the past.

The past wasn't at peace with him.

Brooklyn Boys (8332 words) by SleepsWithCoyotes Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:Marvel Cinematic Universe,Captain America (Movies),The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Jotunheim Beast, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Friday (Marvel) Additional Tags: Gen or Pre-Slash, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant

Summary: The stray picks up a stray.

4 Minute Window (24127 words) by Speranza Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:Captain America (Movies),Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Peggy Carter Additional Tags: Surveillance, It's Like Grand Central Station In Here, Brooklyn Boys, Power Couple, People Are Sick of Conceptual Art Series: Part 1 of 4 Minute Window

Summary: "Look, if they catch me," Bucky muttered, "they're either going to kill me or they're going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can't."

This, You Protect (64326 words) by owlet Chapters: 33/33 Fandom:Captain America (Movies),Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Pepper Potts, Clint Barton Additional Tags: Humor, I hope humor anyway, cursing, Protection, Strong feelings about coffee, slightly off-canon, Steve is sassy, sam is sassy, Bucky is sassy, Everyone has their sassy pants on, just accept that grilled cheese is the perfect food, old people are Team Bucky Series: Part 1 of Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail

Summary: The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Ain't No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) (107076 words) by spitandvinegar Chapters: 10/10 Fandom:Captain America - All Media Types,Marvel Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Phil Coulson, Original Characters, Pepper Potts, Matt Murdock, Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Claire Temple

Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Abuse, Homelessness, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Catholic Steve Rogers, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Artist Steve Rogers, Identity Issues, POV Alternating, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, because I am a desert pony that runs as wild and free as the wind, Period Typical Attitudes, Masturbation, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, original kid characters, a coupla goddamn kids, Pinkberry, Past Rape/Non-con

Series: Part 2 of Ain't No Grave

Summary: It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

Don't Stop Believing (205901 words) by kianspo Chapters: 11/11 Fandom:Star Trek (2009),Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Christopher Pike/Spock, Spock/Nyota Uhura Additional Tags: Action/Adventure, First Time, Angst, Drama, Ensemble Cast, Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Series: Part 2 of Don't Stop Believing

Summary: The story follows Spock from his own days as a cadet at Starfleet Academy to the ‘present day’ when he’s Kirk’s first officer and the Enterprise is on its five-year mission. Essentially, the story of Spock’s first real love followed by the story of him finding the love of his life. Ad astra per aspera.

Kal'i'farr heh T'naehm (11198 words) by sixbeforelunch Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character Characters: Original Vulcan Character(s) Additional Tags: Vulcan, Vulcan Culture, Alien Culture, Pon Farr, Marriage, The Dominion War - Freeform, world building, action takes place over a single day, tight focus, tight 3rd person POV, Ordinary People, Little Brothers, Big Sisters, architecture nerds, linguistics nerds, Sherlock Holmes fans, Clans, alien ceremonies, Arranged Marriage, Alien Food, Food, Cooking, Telepathy, Mental bonds, Telepathic Bonds, Parents and Children, Communication, no canon characters Series: Part 1 of Pi'maat Summary: A meditation on marriage and war, from a Vulcan perspective, on the eve of the Dominion War.

Stubborn Mouths: Humans In Translation (62940 words) by Hannah Chapters: 23/23 Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak Characters: Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Jadzia Dax, Odo (Star Trek), Kira Nerys, Quark (Star Trek), Miles O'Brien, Keiko O'Brien, Benjamin Sisko, Minor Characters

Additional Tags: Disability, Disabled Character of Color, Autism, Canon Character of Color, Neurodiversity, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Alien Cultural Differences, Judaism, Jews In Space, exploring replicator limitations, Literary References & Allusions, Neko Case - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Character

Summary: If you’re sending yourself out to the edge of civilization, people expect it to be done for fame and glory – but then, Julian Bashir has never been what’s expected of him. He’s quite happy to agree with the reasons other people provide, because he isn’t sharing the private whys and wherefores when people are more than happy to fill in the gaps themselves. There are other, better things to worry about, work to be done and friends to be made – possibly even a lover, if he’s lucky…

...all while fighting to maintain his worth, and remain exactly who he’s always been.

A Bit Too Much Good Work (96074 words) by a_t_rain Chapters: 25/25 Fandom: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Rish/Byerly Vorrutyer Characters: Byerly Vorrutyer, Rish, Ivan Vorpatril, Alys Vorpatril, Tej Arqua Vorpatril, Donna Vorrutyer | Dono Vorrutyer Additional Tags: Politics, Case Fic, Class Issues, Book: Captain Vorpatril's Alliance, Imperial Security, Spies & Secret Agents, Cultural Differences

Summary: Behind the scenes of Captain Vorpatril's Alliance, Byerly grapples with bomb threats, Council of Counts politics, fallout from a previous case, and the difficulty of maintaining a romance when one's profession blurs the lines between lovers, colleagues, witnesses, and suspects.

Rise Up (2711 words) by hollimichele Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sleepy Hollow (TV), Hamilton - Miranda Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Ichabod Crane, Abbie Mills (Sleepy Hollow), Alexander Hamilton Additional Tags: RPF, sort of? technically? Series: Part 1 of Don't Be Shocked When Your Hist'ry Book Mentions Me Summary: “I call bullshit,” Abbie said, ten steps into the secret crypt beneath Trinity Church.

Honor Among Thieves (225021 words) by Bracketyjack Chapters: 8/8 Fandom:Honor Harrington Series - David Weber Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Alternative Universe - Canon Divergence Summary: An Alternative Honorverse Novel.

I know the extended story-arc is one of the great glories of the Honorverse, but haven't you ever, ploughing through the latest best-selling doorstop, wanted radically to short-circuit the whole thing, and see those morally defective, small-souled Manticoran aristocrats taken down hard? And all Detweilers and Kolokoltsovs whatsoever fed to a vengeful passel of treecats, with BBQ sauce? I know I have ...

Going Native (151814 words) by Rap541 Chapters: 67/67 Fandom:Battlestar Galactica (2003),Star Trek: The Next Generation Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Felix Gaeta, Kara "Starbuck" Thrace, Lee "Apollo" Adama, Anastasia "Dee" Dualla, William Adama, Laura Roslin, Jean-Luc Picard, Saul Tigh, William Riker, Beverly Crusher, Worf (Star Trek:TNG/DS9), Reginald Barclay Additional Tags: Crossover, Fix-It Summary: What do you do when you're a lost Starfleet officer in the Beta Quadrant? You blend in and hope for the best.

Digging for the Bones by Paganaidd (203178 words) by Paganaidd Chapters: 62/62 Fandom:Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter Additional Tags: Severitus, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Panic Attack, Depression

Summary: Rather than allowing Harry to stay at Diagon Alley after he blew up Aunt Marge, the Ministry sends Harry back to the Dursleys. Harry returns to school after a terrible summer, to find that he's not the only one with this kind of secret. A student has been killed by his family. New screening measures are put into place by the Ministry: Every student must be given a medical exam and interview to look for child abuse. With Dumbledore facing an inquiry, Snape is entrusted with the task of making sure EVERYONE receives one.

The first chapter contains a character death and the whole story is quite dark. It begins at the beginning of Prisoner of Azkaban and is AU thereafter. Also note: this story is a "Snape is Harry's biological dad" story. This is not supposed to be the central theme of the story, but people have gotten annoyed that I didn't tell them at the beginning. D.S.S. Requirement by esama (30k) Harry Potter AU/Stargate The Dumbledore's Army use the Room of the Requirement to get themselves a spaceship.  

The Best Revenge (and it's sequel) by Arsinoe de Blassenville, 213k and 108k Harry Potter AU. Yes, the old Snape retrieves Harry from the Dursleys formula. I just had to write one. Everything changes, because the best revenge is living well. T for Mentor Snape's occasional naughty language. Supportive Minerva.

There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe (77571 words) by Shoshanah-ben-hohim Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Hockey RPF Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin Characters: Evgeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Mario Lemieux, Sergei Gonchar Additional Tags: Ensemble Cast, Kid Fic, Original Character(s), Pittsburgh Penguins, Washington Capitals, St. Louis Blues, New York Rangers, Columbus Blue Jackets, 2018 Winter Olympics, Homophobia, Xenophobia, Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mutual Pining Series: Part 1 of There was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

Summary: Amidst rising political tensions between Russia and NATO countries, the KHL and NHL failed to renew their labor agreement this summer. Due to the failed agreement and intense political pressure at home, the Russian NHL players do not return to the NHL.

By March, Geno has played almost a season in Russia, and accepts this is his new reality, no matter how much he misses Sid – until he finds the first child. This sets him and everyone he involves down a dangerous path of international intrigue. Flightless Birds by RedandGreen, 94k words Hockey RPF genderbender Sid's hair is a thing. It's her thing, and she's always a girl even when she's a hockey player. (tw: sexual assault)  

Fastening One Heart to Every Falling Thing (51519 words) by thefourthvine Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hockey RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Evgeni Malkin/Alexander Ovechkin Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulbond, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Spacetoaster, Podfic Available, No Miracle Cure

Summary: Geno can't. Sidney won't.

To Bear is to Conquer Our Fate (106365 words) by Shem Chapters: 34/34 Fandom:Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen ating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Kitty Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy Characters: Kitty Bennet, Fitzwilliam Darcy Summary: The day after the Netherfield Ball, a simple walk through the countryside has wide reaching consequences for Mr Darcy and a certain young lady from Longbourn.

The Brighton Effect (74644 words) by Shem Chapters: 29/29 Fandom: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen ating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Catherine Bennet/Other(s), Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley Series: Part 1 of The Effect Summary: Kitty's chance to go to Brighton with Lydia may just change everyone's fate

Fair Winds and Homeward Sail (49011 words) by Ione Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Persuasion - Jane Austen Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Admiral Croft/Sophia Croft, Anne Elliot/Frederick Wentworth Characters: Sophia Croft, Anne Elliot, Admiral Croft, Frederick Wentworth, Louisa Musgrove, Lady Russell, Mary Musgrove, Charles Musgrove, Captain Harville Additional Tags: The Royal Navy, References to Jane Austen, Regency Summary: Sophia Wentworth was devoted to her brothers before she found happiness. Then she wanted the same for Frederick . . .

Lydia, still (2719 words) by tree Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, Star Trek: The Next Generation Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Lydia Bennet, Data (Star Trek), Jean-Luc Picard Additional Tags: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Epistolary, Holodecks/Holosuites, I Don't Even Know Summary: Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

Except Lydia.

Square Peg in a Round Hole, or Junior Year of High School, Revised, A Clones Tale (42497 words) by MarbleGlove Chapters: 13/13 Fandom:Highlander: The Series,Stargate SG-1 Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Methos, Clone Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, General Hammond, Jack O'Neill Additional Tags: post Fragile Balance, Crossover Series: Part 1 of A Square Peg in a Round Hole Summary: Methos was just spending a year as a high school teacher; Jake O'Neil was just trying to be someone other than Jack O'Neill; neither are simple individuals.

Change Is Only The Beginning (78449 words) by ivorygates Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stargate SG-1 Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jack O'Neill/Danielle Jackson Characters: Jack O'Neill, Danielle Jackson, Charlie Kawalsky, Ra (SG-1), Skaara (SG-1), Sha're (SG-1), Catherine Langford Additional Tags: Stargate the Movie AU, Girl!Daniel Summary: The One Where: Catherine Langford hired the wrong archaeologist for Project Giza, Dani Jackson joins a lesbian rock band, Jack isn't quite sure what he wants, and Gary Meyers gets a makeover.

AKA: Ivory Writes A Harlequin Romance...

Warning: incipient babies.

Said the Joker to the Thief (41898 words) by ivorygates, greenbirds Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:Stargate SG-1,NCIS ating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Series: Part 1 of Joker'verse Summary: If this isn't the absolute worst Monday Gibbs has ever experienced, it's certainly in the top ten.

And do my spiriting gently (1478 words) by thinlizzy2 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:The Tempest - Shakespeare ating: General Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Characters: Ariel, Prospero, Miranda Summary: All is not as it seems on Prospero's island, but that is no coincidence. The island is Ariel's domain, and zie is the one who shapes the reality there.

World Ain't Ready (185796 words) by idiopathicsmile Chapters: 16/16 Fandom: Les Misérables - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Jean Prouvaire - Relationship Characters: Grantaire (Les Misérables), Enjolras (Les Misérables), Éponine Thénardier, Jean "Jehan" Prouvaire, Courfeyrac (Les Misérables), Bahorel (Les Misérables), Marius Pontmercy, Cosette Fauchelevent, Joly (Les Misérables), Bossuet Laigle, Musichetta (Les Misérables) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - High School Summary: Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn't even opened his mouth yet. That's got to be a record, even for them.

"I need a favor," he says at last.

"With what?" says Grantaire. "Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I'd be awesome at cults, I just know it." He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. "I love chanting, I look great in robes—"

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

Admit Me, Chorus to This History (35091 words) by Morgyn Leri Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: 15th Century CE RPF,Henry V - Shakespeare Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Henry V of England/Blanche Stretton (OFC) Characters: Henry V of England, Henry IV of England, Thomas Beaufort, Henry Scroop, Katherine of Valois, John of Lancaster: Duke of Bedford, Humphrey of Lancaster: Duke of Gloucester, Blanche Stretton (OFC), James Stretton (OMC), Robert of Stretton (OMC) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, GFY, Don’t copy to another site Series: Part 1 of Mistress to Queen

Summary: An alternate history or alternate reality, if you will, wherein what some might call a romance is played out between a prince whose passions are power and war and a girl who wants nothing so much as family.

Hail Mary (191627 words) by galaxysoup Chapters: 23/23 Fandom:Supernatural Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Mary Winchester, Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Missouri Moseley, Jody Mills, Ephraim (Supernatural), Joshua (Supernatural), Malachi (Supernatural), Theo (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural), Ezekiel | Gadreel, Cain (Supernatural), Tara (Supernatural: First Born), Garth Fitzgerald IV, Charlie Bradbury, Dorothy Baum, Muriel (Supernatural), Jim Murphy, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Tamara (Supernatural), Isaac (Supernatural), Kevin Tran, Linda Tran, Rufus Turner, Deanna Campbell, Victor Henriksen, Caleb (Supernatural), Annie Hawkins, Bartholomew (Supernatural), Original Characters, Bela Talbot, Hannah (Supernatural)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Mary Winchester, BAMF Castiel, POV Mary Winchester, Human Castiel, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Episode: s09e03 I'm No Angel, Angst, Action/Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Castiel, Canon-Typical Violence, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Sick Castiel, Minor Character Death, Apocalypse Series: Part 1 of Hail Mary-verse

Summary:Take one newly human ex-angel on the run from Heaven. Combine with one mysteriously resurrected and increasingly pissed off Mary Winchester. Add overtones of Apocalypse. Shake well.

she's gotta be strong to fight them (25476 words) by stars_inthe_sky Chapters: 7/7 Fandom:Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,Terminator - All Media Types,Terminator (Movies),The Terminator (1984),Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Savannah Weaver, Sarah Connor, Lauren Fields, Sydney Fields, James Ellison, Martin Bedell, Jesse Flores, Original Characters, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Families of Choice, Unconventional Families, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Episode: s02e22 Born to Run, Training, Survival Training, Bechdel Test Pass, Apocalypse, Pre-Apocalypse, Alternate Timelines, Alternate Canon

Series: Part 1 of tell me where your strength lies

Summary: Sarah rises and hugs her so tightly that Savannah’s wet towel soaks through her sweater. “What did you mean, before, I saved your life?” Savannah asks, voice muffled by Sarah’s shoulder. “I didn’t do anything.”

After “Born to Run,” they’re just a kid without a mom and a mom without a kid. But a storm is still coming. (First in a series)

Through An Open Window (75068 words) by LMA Chapters: 34/34 Fandom: Babylon 5 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Valen (Jeffrey Sinclair)/Catherine Sakai, Sinclair & Delenn Characters: Valen (Jeffrey Sinclair), Catherine Sakai, Delenn, Draal, Zathras, Kosh Summary: Recounts the story of Jeffrey Sinclair's early years as Valen and his reunion with his fiancee Catherine Sakai; Delenn learns what happened to her friend by using the Great Machine. Originally published in 1996.

(The sequel is Summoned) Legend by ShayneT (100k words) Buffy/Star Trek TNG Summary: Trapped by an alien collector, Lieutenant Commander Data discovers an early 21st century android excavated from the ruins of Sunnydale and a capsule containing the frozen body of one of the Eugenic wars most notorious figures...Buffy Summers.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I write here sometimes because it’s incredibly satisfying to be understood.  Some people take pictures.  I took pictures for years.  For a time I really believed that what I was doing was connecting with the world.  I traveled all over.  Spent weeks at a time in Asia by myself just wandering.  I shared it with ghostly friends and attachments.  I had understood it to be a precursor to a real connection.  That I was putting out this information on the internet to connect with someone.  Much like I had tried to make it in the music scene at one time to find likeminded people.  The one thing I’ve learned through failure is it doesn’t always work out the way you want it to.  It may just be from repetition that I’ve become more talented writing about the things I see and feel.  I’m never good enough at anything to be recognized or treated with some value in the real world.  I’ve had some of the same cryptic names cycle through my dash for years.  I’d argue sometimes that media here isn’t very social.  It’s rather communal.  A shared almost secret history of memes, idols, art and music.  You never have to clarify much.  Something here is cringe to one person and high art to others.  There’s this silent understanding that we’re all trying to move closer to what moves us.  We’re adrift in hidden connections plugged together like a Rhizome.  It’s all romantic shit if you grew up reading Gibson playing pen and paper Cyberpunk with a bunch of nerds.  But the world gets harder and harder to plug back into outside these delicate ebbs and flows of information.  I never really spent much time on Usenet back in the day other than to dig for mp3′s.  I grew up running Bulletin Board systems with my mother.  I was always writing.  I almost got expelled from a Christian High School for publishing a zine.  Some younger kids on my bus got a hold of it and claimed it was Satanic.  Half of the zine was about illustrations from people I met in real life.  Most of them were reminiscent of Pushead.  Very gory skate graphics.  The guy who drew them also designed flyers for punk bands.  Decades later I don’t really think there’s much difference between Tumblr and Zine culture.  Of all the things you’d have to wear the badge from high school, nobody really empathizes that I have become the patron saint of zine culture.  Of all the shit people could talk about me over the years.  He was a jungle dj.  Oh he was a footwork dj.  He was a white rapper.  He tried to skate but my friends are better than him.  He tried to make his own shirts.  I sold a lot of those here on Tumblr.  More so than knowing anyone in real life.  People get the impression I’m a lot of things.  I’m that guy you see helping the lady in the wheelchair in the grocery store find help.  This happened yesterday.  The woman thought I worked there.  There was an awkward sign on the door looking for a security guard for hire.  I spoke with the deli and got someone to assist.  For some reason everyone made the mistake of labeling me as a graffiti artist for years.  The police didn’t help.  I’ve had varying degrees of mistaken identity and my share of surveillance.  But I’ve never done anything other than run an apartment gallery for street art.  I was in the walk thru for an outside atm yesterday.  There was an angry white man scrubbing off some purple tags  with some orange zep.  I joked and said “get the led out!  He didn’t think it was funny.  He replied the people who lived in this neighborhood should do something about this.  I replied I lived here and there’s not much you can do.  He scolded me saying Chase could remove the atms as punishment.  He didn’t work for chase.  I told him I was more of a JP Morgan kind of guy.  Everybody on the internet thinks I’m the next roaring kitty but doesn’t want to admit it.  Or is that the other way around.  One thing I’m for certain.  I’ve been a lot of things and someone always tries to outdo me at being me.

I write here to parse the reality that nobody keeps score.  I keep track of my finances often.  For some reason, I’m doing about the best fiscally I’ve ever done just waiting for Godot.  I spoke with my dad last night about things.  I’ve had four packages go missing since mid April.  I’ve had people follow me around and give me weird looks.  I’ve had my locks tampered with.  I’ve had consistent fraudulent charges I’ve had to contend with.  It never ends.  It’s like a literal nightmare shit show outside the door at every moment.  I write here about it to simply let people know I do not think any of it is normal.  And generally, I start to believe that it never was.  I don’t drink anymore.  I don’t really have a problem with people who do.  But when people overdo it they forget how far they cross the line.  My biggest fear for this summer is the yolo effect.  That people will be so frustrated with being held back that they will use this summer as their ultimate party bus.  The shoe will be on the other foot.  If you wear a mask you are crazy to them.  Everyone will have the chance to speak their mind in public now.  They’ve been practicing on Facebook for fifteen months to tell you off.  Sometimes I feel like there’s a whole generation of people who think they stan me here.  Who go out into the wild and whisper what they think they’ve learned through reading comprehension about me.  I relish this.  Sort of like how Zizek talks of surveillance.  Let the dogs and the secret police learn something I say!  And you put it out there on the internet in any fashion and they will learn.  Often not in the way you want them to.  Which is why as a writer, obfuscation is the biggest weapon you have against nosy neighbors and pinkerton spies.  If I am even a writer at all.  This kind of activity just like my music isn’t considered anything of a skill.  There are a lot of people out there who can’t even reply in an email on LinkedIn with the spell check on.  If I have all these skills.  If I have all these things I’ve been.  Why am I in this situation particularly?  Why hasn’t anyone noticed how badly it is I am suffering on the inside?  Technically I’m not suffering as near as I was a year ago.  I’m out of debt.  I’ve gotten rid of a lot of excess baggage.  I’ve kept healthy by working out in my home.  I’ve adjusted to the reality that nobody ever gets it but me.  I’ve plugged myself into investments that I took the full risk on.  I’ve literally crawled from the ashes of a situation meant to break me.  And my consolation prize is that nobody ever.  And I mean EVER.  Talks.  About it.  What happened to me.  How fucking horrible it is.  How fucking wrong it all is.  All the way back to when I first started trying to be recognized as me.  To be valued.  I have to stop myself there.  I write here often and I feel to a certain group of dear friends it is valued.  That my context is understood a little more deeply than “maybe we can use this guy.”  I’ve been used on levels that would make you vomit in public.  And I’ve been gaslighted enough to know that there’s no use in trying to prove it.  I’m supposed to move on and understand the rules.  There are no rules out here.  There’s a semblance of order when people stand in front of cameras or their zoom mic.  When they’re shouting from their “platform” to change the world.  Nobody ever talks.  Nobody really listens.  And for that I feel we’re all growing tired of a world that simply shouts out it’s demands.  I wake up to the same reality every morning.  Nobody texts.  Nobody invites me out to socialize.  Everybody has something to say to me and it’s never “How are you doing?”  None of it really matters to me from simple statistical observation.  If I haven’t changed your mind by now, you don’t really want to know what I’m thinking.

When you get stuck.  And who knows if you will.  But when you get stuck like me.  It takes a lot of positivity to stay focused.  I go out and try to do things often.  But people will spoil that solitude with some bullshit excuse like “This is America.  I’m free to do what I want when I want.”  At the expense of others.  And out here, I’d love to tell you how I survive when nothing changes.  I stay out of the way.  I am so fucking disassociated from this place that it feels evil.  I’ve been in this city over two decades.  You would think a person like me would have some kind of culture other than being hunted and tested every turn.  Who knows who the ring leader is anymore.  People read what I write and then take it their own way.  Nobody really cares for my well being out here.  That’s self love talking.  And I am being real.  People have manipulated my entire life and put my safety at risk for the sake of some sort of performance.  Some of that is just life.  Some of that I accept because it’s the way this lane operates.  But nowhere in this journey have I sacrificed my authenticity for some big payoff.  I don’t even know what the fuck is going on with people anymore.  It is okay to remove yourself from a series of toxic situations.  It is okay to reset.  It is okay to understand that the pandemic might have reset everything for you back to square one.  It is okay to let go of social obligations that never valued you as a person.  It is okay to keep wearing a mask.  It is okay to say no.  It is okay to walk away from a disrespectful situation and rely on yourself.  It is also hard as fuck in practice.  If anyone can learn anything from me it is that you literally are asking for it.  The old fuck around and find out.  Except I’ve found out a lot more than just how charming I can be to the right person by being thoughtful and consistent.  I’ve learned the FOMO of trying to participate in a pyramid is not the kind of leverage I’m interested in.  I’ve learned that debt rhymes with net.  I’ve learned how to keep that somewhat stable in one of the most fucked up economic shitstorms in America.  I’ve learned I’m not eligible for the things people assume I’m on.  Like unemployment.  I’ve learned health insurance costs as much as my rent.  Which is a great deal on rent.  I’ve learned that making hamburgers and freezing them are delicious.  But even then you’d have to pay me more than fifteen dollars an hour.  I’ve learned this entire thing is my fault.  And I’ve written about it for years.  And yet nobody seems to want to have a conversation about it.  They just keep on assuming.  People are sleepwalking out there.  Some people are really good at faking it.  But then you follow their lead and end up in the same laugh out loud shit show.  When you get stuck, it’s best to count your blessings.  At least people might somewhere understand why I do the things that I do.  Why I think it’s completely futile to try to do anything drastic when everything always fails.  Why I’ve given up on believing that people have my best interest at heart in a city that’s ignored me for over a year.  I write to keep a clear narration of how I’m trying to tackle a problem far bigger than me.  I deal with it by staying out of the way.  Out of sight.  Trapped in a corner shack lighthouse in a highly accessible city.  With no end of people trying to access me.  To chip on through.  I wonder if you got to the center of all this.  If you really solved the mystery.  I wonder if you’d finally break down and cry.  That you’ve been wrong about me for this long.  There’s no mystery to solve about me other than why I keep writing on a dead platform.  And why the general public secretly pays so much attention to every word I type.  I don’t really “wonder” anymore.  I just know.  <3 Tim

[placetobenation]

First things first. NXT TakeOver: Vengeance Day was an almost perfect PPV! A terrific treat for Valentine’s Day, if you will (thanks Dusty!)

Every match delivered in spades. And yes, Eli Drake has returned as LA Knight! We got two new champs in crowning MSK along with Dakota Kai & Raquel Gonzalez as this year’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic winners.

I don’t know how, but Johnny Gargano held on to his NXT Championship in an amazing match over KUSHIDA. Classic, on the edge of your seat stuff here folks!

Io Shirai pinned Mercedes Martinez in the triple threat match that left Toni Storm coming up short in her first title bid and wanting more of Miss Shirai.

Plus, not only did Finn Balor and Pete Dunne put on a masterpiece that celebrated some old school mat skills, but it also saw the return to the evil ways of Adam Cole. Is it truly the end of The Undisputed Era?

Now, one week later, it’s RAW and SmackDown’s chance to shine with the Elimination Chamber PPV and they’ll be hard pressed to put on a show that can equal the passion and back-and-forth action that NXT brought to the table.

Here’s your Elimination Chamber PPV updated card. We’ll have predictions coming up in our parting shots.

• WWE Championship Elimination Chamber – Drew McIntyre vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus vs. AJ Styles • Universal Championship Elimination Chamber #1 Contender’s Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn vs. King Corbin vs. Jey Uso vs. Kevin Owens • Universal Championship Match: Roman Reigns vs. Elimination Chamber Match Winner • United States Championship Match: Bobby Lashley vs. Keith Lee vs. Riddle • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler vs. Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair

(As of Saturday morning, Asuka vs. Lacey Evans is still being promoted by WWE on their website, but that one doesn’t appear likely due to Evans’ pregnancy announcement on RAW.)

Star of the Week:

BREAKING: @sanbenito is the NEW @WWE #247Champion on #WWERaw!#AndNew pic.twitter.com/j859CHfxgy

— WWE (@WWE) February 16, 2021

Bad Bunny – 24/7 Champ is taking over the WWE Universe. SNL TONIGHT and then next stop: WrestleMania!

RAW

RESULTS

• Riddle & Lucha House Party defeated The Hurt Business • 24/7 Championship Match: Bad Bunny defeated R-Truth • Charlotte Flair & Asuka defeated Lacey Evans & Peyton Royce by DQ • Kofi Kingston defeated The Miz to earn spot in WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match • Shayna Baszler defeated Lana • Gauntlet Match to earn last entry into WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match: AJ Styles defeated Kofi Kingston; Drew McIntyre defeated AJ Styles; Drew McIntyre defeated Jeff Hardy; Drew McIntyre defeated Randy Orton by countout; Sheamus defeated Drew McIntyre

The Good…

#KofiMania 2?@TrueKofi is on his way to #WWEChamber THIS Sunday!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/xBpI1BInav

— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) February 16, 2021

Kofi Kingston – Putting Kofi into the Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship makes all the sense in the World. It upgrades the talent for one. Not that The Miz is a slouch, but Kingston if flat out better. Plus, there was no need for The Miz to be in the match when he already has a contract for a championship match anytime he wants. Why fight through five other guys in the chamber to win, right?!

Bad Bunny – With Bad Bunny being the musical guest on Saturday Night Live this week, making him champ to bring the belt to SNL and grab some mainstream media attention is a huge plus. It also takes his tag team with Damian Priest up a notch as they head towards a match with The Miz and John Morrison reportedly set for WrestleMania. He’s been gold for the WWE and now he truly holds the gold!

"In the future……. HE will be reborn." – @AlexaBliss_WWE#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/tWMaPFNiTT

— WWE (@WWE) February 16, 2021

Alexa Bliss – Her short vignette foreshadowing the rebirth of The Fiend was chilling. It’s going to happen of course and I’m mad curious as to how it will happen.

Meh…

"@MsCharlotteWWE… I'M PREGNANT!" – @LaceyEvansWWE#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/9x5Llav9vQ

— WWE (@WWE) February 16, 2021

Baby Mama – Lacey Evans is pregnant huh? Sure, on tv, it’s a twist in the Charlotte Flair-Ric Flair daddy-daughter storyline for sure. But, in reality, it’s reportedly very real that Evans will be having her second child. But does it make any sense the way WWE threw it out there? If she’s truly pregnant, she wouldn’t be wrestling Asuka this Sunday at the Elimination Chamber PPV for the RAW Women’s Championship? When Becky Lynch announced she was going to be a Mom, she left and hasn’t been seen since. The WWE, as of Saturday, still hasn’t let us know if the match was going to happen or not – we’re guessing not but they were still promoting it on the WWE website. So, no clue as to where this leaves Asuka. In the storyline now, is Ric the Dad or just the mentor? We need some details and let’s be honest, how does any of this help put Charlotte over as a babyface? The quick answer is that it doesn’t.

Six entered the #GauntletMatch.@WWESheamus was the one to win it all!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/6syWaC1D7u

— WWE (@WWE) February 16, 2021

Gauntlet Match – To me, if you’re going to have a match take over a third of your show, it has to be dynamic. Unfortunately, the six-man gauntlet match was just ok. Nothing spectacular. We got Kofi and AJ Styles out early which I didn’t like. Randy Orton predictably gets distracted by Alexa Bliss for his countout and of course, Sheamus earned the last spot in the chamber with a win over his former friend Drew McIntyre. It just wasn’t memorable.

Shayna Baszler – A win over Lana. Yawn.

Fun…

Three Amigos – Putting Riddle with the Lucha House Party was an entertaining way to start the night in the ring. Let’s hope that MVP isn’t hurt too badly though.

Missing…

Where was – Keith Lee. Will he still be in the US Championship Match Sunday? Is it COVID-19 related after missing the Royal Rumble? We need answers.

I want in…

Braun Strowman – Please don’t tell me that Strowman’s reaction to being left out of the Elimination Chamber will be to go after Shane McMahon! I have no want to see that match. Is there something I’m missing here?

NXT

RESULTS

• Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart defeated Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell • Leon Ruff defeated Isaiah “Swerve” Scott • Kacy Catanzaro & Kayden Carter defeated Aliyah & Jessi Kamea • KUSHIDA defeated Tyler Rust • Zoey Stark defeated Valentina Feroz • Finn Balor, Roderick Strong & Kyle O’Reilly defeated Oney Lorcan, Danny Burch & Pete Dunne

.@EscobarWWE may have avoided a match tonight, but he'll 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 face @WWEKarrionKross next week or he will be stripped of the #WWENXT #Cruiserweight Title AND suspended indefinitely, per @RealKingRegal! pic.twitter.com/oosg5D5Pof

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) February 18, 2021

Every Wednesday night, it seems like the performances in the ring are what are truly make NXT stand out. This week, I felt like it was the work outside the ring, in the form of the pre-produced pieces that really told the story this week. Eli Drake, as LA Knight and NXT’s newest free agent, really had that Rock feel to him. He’s definitely going to raise the game. Pat McAfee was dead on in his #PatWasRight moment letting everyone know that he was 100% right on just who Adam Cole was. Cameron Grimes gets better and better (and apparently richer and richer) each and every week. He’s comic gold! Toni Storm took out NXT Women’s Champion Io Shirai out at a photo shoot. Each piece had a reason behind it and advanced the storylines without a match. That’s an improvement for NXT and a place they can look to get better at in the future. And how about Santos Escobar and Karrion Kross? Their match was pushed back a week after Escobar went home but now he has to face Kross this week or else William Regal is stripping him of his Cruiserweight title. Tick Tock. The time is now for this reckoning and Kross says Escobar’s destiny has been determined.

#MSK and @TheBethPhoenix have the right idea!!!

@DakotaKai_WWE @RaquelWWE @NiaJaxWWE @QoSBaszler #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/4e5rdjUpPA

— WWE (@WWE) February 18, 2021

In the ring, I loved the pairing of the two Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic champions as MSK joined Dakota Kai and Raquel Gonzalez. Wes Lee and Nash Carter proved they have that New Day feel to entertain, eating popcorn with Beth Phoenix while Kai & Gonzalez threw verbal jabs at the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champs, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler. Gonzalez delivered the KO blow, telling Jax she’s was going to shove the Dusty Cup straight up her hole. Brilliant and I’m glad they’re keeping the Jax line going. March 3rd will be awesome with a pair of tag team championship matches on tap.

"Next week, I will purge YOU."

#WWENXT @XiaWWE @Bigboawwe pic.twitter.com/7y5y5jCq1u

— WWE (@WWE) February 18, 2021

Ember Moon and Shotzi Blackheart get a nice rematch win over Candice LeRae and Indi Hartwell to start the night. Nothing amazing but nothing bad either.

Is Kacy Catanzaro about to become the next victim of Xia Li? It sure looks like after Li marked her hands. Nice little win too for Catanzaro & Kayden Carter.

Should we be excited about Zoey Stark? Not yet for me. But, I’m willing to give it more than one night.

KUSHIDA and Leon Ruff get victories but I’m not sure it did Tyler Rust or Isaiah “Swerve” Scott any favors, even with Scott’s supposed heel turn.

Déjà Vu. #WWENXT @AdamColePro @FinnBalor pic.twitter.com/9kyEl3ODeB

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) February 18, 2021

There was a ton to parse in that six-man tag team match. For one, Pete Dunne gets a pinfall over the NXT Champ Finn Balor. Adam Cole not only takes out Balor, but also Kyle O’Reilly in an attack that some at the Capitol Wrestling Center thought left O’Reilly suffering from a seizure. He didn’t. So, now we’ve got Balor vs. Cole. Balor vs. Dunne continuing. Cole vs. O’Reilly. Where does Roderick Strong fit in after an accidental hit from Balor? It’s undisputed that there’s a new era in NXT with so many possibilities to come! It was a very well-played out follow-up to NXT TakeOver: Vengeance Day.

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

• Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Apollo Crews • Tamina & Natalya defeated The Riott Squad • Rey & Dominik Mysterio defeated Chad Gable & Otis by DQ • Daniel Bryan, Kevin Owens & Cesaro defeated King Corbin, Sami Zayn & Jey Uso

Hail Hydra. (via @WWE) pic.twitter.com/2FRRiIB6qn

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) February 20, 2021

Putting Edge and Roman Reigns in the ring together on the mic. Pure poetry. Edge is like Randy Orton, delivering some of the best promos of his career. This time, he’s spot on in that Reigns needs Edge to make it the true main event of WrestleMania. Wouldn’t we all love to hear what Reigns whispered in Edge’s ear? As for the Ultimate Opportunist, Edge is making the rounds with Kevin Owens, King Corbin and Daniel Bryan backstage as he continues to ponder his decision.

"You hear me? It's done." – @WWEBigE to @WWEApollo Narrator: It was not done. #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/cWChNjrv9M

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) February 20, 2021

Poor Big E! He gets stretchered out by Apollo Crews after Shinsuke Nakamura gets the three count on Crews, frustrating him to the point of nailing the I-C Champ with the ringside steel steps. This one’s far from over! Crews’ heel turn has been in the making for weeks. I wonder if Crews’ appearance on Talking Smack, with a nod and no words to Paul Heyman could mean a new partnership with Reigns and could impact the PPV on Sunday.

50-50 booking give Natalya and Tamina the win this week over Liv Morgan and Ruby Riott. Are either of these teams really headed anywhere or just continuing the dance for another few weeks? I’m guessing just a dance where Billie Kay gets tossed around by both sides as she did Friday night by Tamina & Natalya.

First @LanaWWE finally got her revenge and now @ReginaldWWE pinned her on #SmackDown. It's been a bad month for @NiaJaxWWE. pic.twitter.com/pA7zmsLjnc

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) February 20, 2021

We love Reggie! It just keeps getting better and better for our favorite Sommelier! This week, he joins forces with Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair to pin Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler and Bayley. My only question is where was Carmella to celebrate with her favorite sidekick? Well, apparently not enjoying the wine she threw in Reginald’s face backstage. For their victory, Banks & Belair got a title match against the champs Sunday at Elimination Chamber.

Seth Rollins with legal notice for the WWE? Really? Cesaro vs. Rollins. Yes, please! Cesaro saying Rollins came back as the same condescending SOB is priceless.

What's wrong with @OtisWWE?!? #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/S8t36xWCAq

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) February 20, 2021

Is Otis turning a corner here? Has Chad Gable got him seeing things a different way? New tights and you know what that means. No more Mr. Nice Guy as he squashes Rey Mysterio. Having Otis turn to the dark side the same night as Crews though seems like it will get lost in the shuffle without some future legwork.

#WWEChamber can’t come any sooner! #SmackDown @WWEDanielBryan @BaronCorbinWWE @FightOwensFight @SamiZayn @WWECesaro @WWEUsos @EdgeRatedR @WWERomanReigns pic.twitter.com/y1an1FtQ1p

— WWE (@WWE) February 20, 2021

As good as the six-man tag team main event was with all six of the Elimination Chamber match participants was, it was almost overshadowed by Edge and Paul Heyman trading barbs at the announce table. Based on the short sample we got Friday night with Daniel Bryan making Sami Zayn tap out to have the good guys going over, Sunday’s chamber match could be something we’ll remember for quite some time. That closing sequence with King Corbin hitting End of Days on Bryan, Kevin Owens stunning Corbin, Zayn giving the Exploder to KO, Cesaro uppercutting Zayn, Jey Uso super kicking Cesaro, Edge spearing Uso leading to the final Reigns spear of Edge was fantastic. SmackDown set up the PPV very nicely and after all, that’s the point.

Parting Shots:

Elimination Chamber PPV Predictions WWE Championship Elimination Chamber – Drew McIntyre retains title Universal Championship Elimination Chamber #1 Contender’s Match: Sami Zayn wins Universal Championship Match: Roman Reigns retains title United States Championship Match: Riddle wins US Championship WlWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler retain titles au Coming up this week: RAW: Elimination Chamber fallout

NXT: Karrion Kross vs. Santos Escobar

SMACKDOWN: Elimination Chamber fallout

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at jcrowe567@gmail.com. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND

[ontheavalanche]

As someone with BPD, I struggle a lot with headcanons of Kent Parson with BPD.

Bc on the one hand, I really enjoy people taking the time to research BPD and crafting versions of Kent Parson that are complicated yet respectful and highlighting a disorder that imho isn’t spoken about nearly enough + a lot of thought and effort goes into taking mentally ill characters and fleshing them out with words. Plus I’ve seen some well composed stuff from people who do have BPD and get what it’s like and make wonderfully relatable versions of BPD!Parse and I don’t want to downplay those at all.

But at the same time, I noticed a lot of what happens is that people paint Kent Parson as this guy that’s been really manipulative and can say and do things that are emotionally abusive or just make him all impulsive but then be all like oh he’s like that because he has BPD so it’s okay.

And that’s bad for multiple reasons—the first one being ofc that you can’t excuse manipulative, emotionally abusive, or any other kind of shitty behaviors just bc the person acting that way is mentally ill. The second is that people with Borderline Personality Disorder are generally not like that???? That’s a really harmful stereotype of what people with BPD are like and it’s been perpetuated a lot in various types of media and even within medical and mental health communities.

Anyways, I’m p sure I personally won’t be able to read any fics with BPD!Parson unless they’re personally recommend to me, but I will throw a few things out there that I haven’t seen in BPD!Parse fics but that are common amongst people with BPD. (Please keep in mind that these are based on my own experiences and experiences of other people I know who have BPD—as with any mental health issue, it can manifest very differently depending on the person and not everyone with have experienced all of these):

Manic episodes!!!!! (I feel it’s important to note that often times you won’t realize you’re Manic until you’re peeking. And tbh a lot of times you don’t realize it at all, especially if you don’t have experience recognizing those feelings. Also I’ve noticed that with people with BPD that are more on the consistently manic side will not notice their mania because while manic episodes are intense, if you’re used to them it feels totally normal to feel that way all the time. You might not notice it’s a thing until it gets pointed out by an outsider or unless you get a really really bad one or end up hospitalized)

After a manic episode, you might Crash—a sort of Mania Hangover, if you will. Sometimes it can be a full blow depressive episode, sometimes it’s just a need for sleep or maybe releasing a few hard earned tears. (Or if you’re one of those people that’s kind of Perpetually Manic or going through a manic phase, maybe you won’t even Crash, you’ll just slide into another episode like whatislife amiright??)

If not full blown mania, then mood swings!!!! So many mood swings!!!!! They’re intense and sometimes they last a few hours and sometimes they last a few days. People with BPD have intense emotions, highs and lows and you can on occasion get several in the span of an hour or two.

A chronic feeling of emptiness (I’m thinking of Parse feeling empty n wow that hurts so bad doesn’t it?)

Reckless, impulsive, or dangerous behaviors, often thought of as a result of trying to fill that emptiness or during feelings of mania or anger or mood swings. (This can manifest as shopping sprees, sex, substance abuse, binge eating, etc).

Viewing things in black and white—often times things and feelings are perceived as either totally Good or totally Bad, with little to nothing in between. It’s easy to distort your point of view to make it so that everything fits in those categories. This is a defense mechanism and is often referred to as “Splitting” or all-or-nothing thinking.

The Good/Bad POV//defense mechanism also and especially applies toward people and while logically you might know people are multifaceted and want to recognize that people can be both good and bad, sometimes it can be really hard not to look at people and subconsciously be like “okay are you a hero or a villain, a protagonist or an antagonist, do I love you or hate you” (idealization vs devaluation)

In the BPD community, many people have something called an FP (a Favorite Person)—this is a person you’ve formed an emotional dependency on that can quite literally make or break your day with the slightest provocation. Frankly, this is kind of difficult to talk about so I recommend skimming this article. Basically, you devolve intense feelings for a person (be it romantic or platonic) and when they give you attention or when you view their actions as positive, it’s like you’re happier than you’ve ever been but if you view something they did or said as a negative towards you (even if it wasn’t their intention), suddently your mood plummets so badly that you might feel physically pained or enter a major depressive episode or feel suicidal. (Not everyone has or has had an FP, but if you have one and they reject you and the relationship between the two of you is over, it can feel kind of like a soulmate au gone bad in which you gotta break this Profound Bond and it feels like you’re shattering. Not impossible to get over but you’ll be kind of broken for a while, or maybe just a little cracked forever.) ((Was Jack Zimmermann Kent’s FP???? Who knows, just don’t think about it))

While obviously relationships with people can often be intense and sometimes unstable, it doesn’t mean everyone is regarded with the same level of intensity and it doesn’t mean people with BPD don’t also have normal and healthy relationships and friendships. It truthfully depends on the person. Sometimes all relationships are affected, and sometimes it’s just one.

Disassociation—this can range from depersonalization (feeling disconnected from your body), derealization (feeling disconnected from reality), amnesia (lost time), and identity confusion (losing self).

Speaking of identity—people with BPD struggle with their self-image, and yes sometimes they will distort how they view themselves to fit their mood. I often see this brought up in fics in regards to Kent Parson as either having extreme narcissism or with an extremely low self worth. While those two things aren’t generally out of the realm of possibility, most of the time when it comes to people with BPD and their identity it’s more like they’re lost???? Idk how to describe it but amongst people with BPD, it’s common to feel like you don’t know who the real you is, or like there is no real you and you’re just made up of other people. It’s because sometimes we latch onto the habits and obsessions of others, of our friends and loved ones, and they become our habits and our obsessions, and sometimes realizing this can push you into a bit of an identity crisis????? (Does anyone have a way to put this into English that makes sense bc I’m doing my best here but I Suck soooo) EDIT: the word for it is “Identity Disturbance” and it’s A Big Thing

Seemingly unprovoked bursts of anger and irritability are not uncommon

A lot of people with BPD have abandonment issues. Be it real or imagined abandonment, many of us try to avoid feeling that kind (or any kind) of rejection, even if it means we’re the ones doing the rejecting first. I see this well represented in fics but it’s very dragged out. (Truthfully, imho people with BPD can kinda suck at rejecting people, like we’ll wanna do it so that you don’t do it to us but we can’t quite execute it all that well and when we do we try not to dwell on it.)

I have noticed in BPD!Parse fics, most of the time he has a healthy sense of distrust towards people and their intentions and that’s pretty accurate although sometimes it’s the exact opposite—you might trust too much or too quickly if you consider them Good.

Major depressive episodes are not at all uncommon. (I apologize bc I don’t think I’m going to be able to put in as much detail about this rn bc tbh I’m running on the Manic side lately and when I’m more manic I tend to forget what it’s like to feel depressed or just how those feelings come about until I get hit with a wave of them and then I just wallow.)

Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are not uncommon either, even if you aren’t going through a depressive episode or feeling sad. (An unfortunate percentage of people with BPD die from suicide.)

Some people experience intrusive thoughts or some form of psychosis (if I’m not mistaken the term “borderline” actually comes from an antiquated thought that people with BPD are “borderline psychotic” and so some places no longer use the term “borderline personality disorder” and rather call it an emotional intensity disorder or an “emotionally unstable personality disorder”—bc the latter is totally much better)

Looooots of anxiety, I don’t think in the same way you see in an anxiety disorder??? (I have both so it’s hard for me to describe and separate the two but from what I’ve heard, for people that don’t have an anxiety disorder but do have BPD, it can come in bouts, kind of like manic and depressive episodes but just anxiety and none of the high or low feelings????)

Trouble sleeping is common with people with BPD

Paranoia

A majority of the time, people with BPD also have other disorders such a depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, or other personality disorders that coexist with your BPD.

And the last thing: if you’re reading this list and thinking “huh this sounds more like what I’ve read about bipolar disorder rather than borderline personality disorder” then the reason for it is bc the way bipolar disorder is presented in media is often similar to the reality of what it’s like to have BPD (and similarly there is so much more to bipolar disorder that is not presented in media accurately). The two can be very similar from an outsider’s point of view but to put it in oversimplified terms—people with BPD have more persistent day-to-day symptoms that impact them 24/7 whereas someone with bipolar disorder can go through periods of symptom-free wellness for days, weeks, or even years before falling into say a major manic episode. Our mood swings and episodes are also shorter and tend to run on patterns or are a direct reaction to life’s typical stressors—we can have multiple mood swings and episodes within a single day, whereas folks with bipolar disorder have seemingly no warning before an episode that can last months. Also while any form of mental illness (particularly ones that have to do with mania or delusions or hallucinations) can impact your relationship with people, typically people with bipolar disorder don’t have the same problems with interpersonal relationships like people with BPD do. (I hope I don’t sound like I’m “down selling” bipolar disorder or anything, truthfully I’m just not knowledgeable enough to feel comfortable speaking on it but I do know that these are some of the differences between the two and that BPD and bipolar disorder are often misdiagnosed as each other.)

Anyways y’all, BPD is a really serious disorder. Most of the time we’re people that are considered high functioning because it’s a disorder that affects emotions and relationships and sometimes that only seemingly affects our personal and social lives and not our professional or academic lives.

We’re typecast as dramatic and manipulative and attention seekers. I’d personally argue that we aren’t (for the most part) but our behavior can get really poor and we can feel desperate and enslaved by our emotions. We can’t really help it but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hold us accountable if we act horribly. The point of this is just that if you want to write about this disorder or cast a character with it, try to understand beyond what you’ve seen or heard portrayed by people who don’t have to live with it.

BPD is usually treated with cognitive behavioral therapy but it’s not at all uncommon to have medication as treatment of some of your symptoms or to be hospitalized for it. Personally I used to be on antipsychotics to help stabilize my moods and it was good but not a cure-all, of course. There is no cure for BPD.

This post is also known as: stop writing Kent Parson as an angsty piece of shit 2k18. I might accept BPD!Parse fics if he’s super excited and manic and forms intense bonds with people and doesn’t want to let them go but also BPD sucks so don’t romanticize it too much but also hello I love Kent Parson

[thesportssoundoff]

DC, Mighty Mouse, “marketing African Americans differently” and attempting to dissect hows and whys

Joey

June 8th, 2017

HABOY.

There's no real way to parse this because, in essence, there's no definite truths. When DC talks about advertising/promoting to African Americans, it's tough because in MMA (and in pro wrestling), I can't think of any definitive examples of what would actually be a successful promotion of African Americans. What's more, I guess there's probably a lack of adulthood in terms of realistically discussing and analyzing what IS or IS NOT successful promotion in general and specifically successful promotions to groups of people (Asian fighters to Asian markets, Latin american/South American etc etc etc). If there was ONE actual definitive way to do this shit, everybody would be doing it. Star creation is luck, promotional design and the right talent and there's never an easy to follow pattern as to how to pull that off. Against better judgment, let's swim some treacherous waters:

1- The UFC (and MMA in general) absolutely could better market to African Americans/Black combat sports fans. Of that I'm sure there is no disagreement.

2- How? I 'unno. Maybe you can hire some people to better analyze how you can do that OR it's like with Bob Arum on White people; ya just kinda chalk it up as a loss.

3- When I look at the top draws in boxing who are Black/African American what have you (because SURELY we wouldn't consider Anthony Joshua an African American!), the reality is that MMA as a whole kind of sort of conflicts with what made a lot of those guys super popular. First let's begin by defining the main players I'm looking at. To me the big draws of the past 20-25 years or so are guys like Floyd Mayweather, Roy Jones Jr, Mike Tyson, Bernard Hopkins (MIGHT be stretching it here), Adrian Broner (does great TV numbers with really no sort of promotional push) and maybe a Keith Thurman? Removing heavyweights sans Tyson because I think we can agree Tyson is a DIFFERENT transcendent sort of name.

Whereas in boxing, trash talk and shit talk is really accepted, it's almost like MMA works hard to run AWAY from that. All of those guys mentioned above are pretty much great talkers. Thurman's an underrated talker to be entirely honest. The sport in many ways tries at times to nearly drown itself in humility and politeness and while I don't want 1,000,000 Conor McGregor's running around---the best fights draw more often than not on a basis of SOME element of dislike. As a boxing promoter pal once told me, it doesn't have to be real but it has to feel real. Fight promotion in many ways is simply about taking what works in pro wrestling/theater (people want to see real combat with a party they aim to root for or two parties they want to see BOTH get hurt) and subtracting what doesn't (over the top contrived nonsense, overcomplicated matters). Sometimes being humble is more than acceptable, GSP drew big money being humble as did Anderson Silva, but even THEY needed an antagonistic rival to draw the biggest money they could. Humble on its own in MMA, at least in today's MMA, can't draw significant money.

Now of course this goes any race, gender, orientation so on so forth. Anytime a conflict of significance FEELS real, you don't have to be a certain race or nationality to want to see this shit go down. Even if you buy into the idea of Japanese fans being ultra polite and all about the sport, I'd bet Rampage vs Wanderlei beefing it out did way better business than humble sportsman Fedor mowing down dudes. I'm just using the guys who drew big in boxing who were African American who drew big money and how they did it. It's not just about the skills, it's about the style that goes along with it. THAT, in turn, brings us to....

4- The MMA model directly car crashes with what makes a lot of those guys super popular. Going back to Bob Arum for a second, when Floyd Mayweather and Bob Arum had their big split apart, it came down to Bob not seeing what Floyd was seeing. Bob wanted another Sugar Ray Leonard but Floyd Mayweather believed that the public tide was turning. The rap lifestyle of flash, sizzle and big money was where the push was----and so with no true way to reconcile, the split occurred. Floyd ultimately was OBVIOUSLY correct as "Money" Mayweather has carried boxing (with pinch hits from Oscar De La Hoya, Manny Pacquaio, Miguel Cotto and Canelo Alvarez kinda) over the past however many decades. Look at Broner's poor man's (irony?) version of Floyd Mayweather act. Even being an utter goofball with the Buddy Landel edition of Floyd's Ric Flair, Broner does BIG business numbers whenever he fights. It's not just about who you are and how good you are, it's about flashing the rewards and repping the lifestyle while ya do it. Bernard Hopkins is clearly the outlier in this regard as B-Hop is notorious for being a guy who sits on money like it's about to hatch or something but look at Tyson, Floyd, RJJ, Broner and even "Sugar" Shane Mosley. There's a lifestyle to be lead here.

MMA doesn't pay in that way. No fighter ever will approach Floyd's major paydays and it could be realistic argued that this sport is 20 years away from making what Floyd made on the low side of his PPV fights before his big breakout. Right now ONE guy in this business could demand 1 mil plus and he's probably on his way out soon. Whether it can or can't is always going to be open to interpretation I guess---but I think we'd all agree that the UFC (or Bellator or anybody) aren't going to overpay somebody (in their eyes) on a gamble. Mighty Mouse the fighter may be worth $1,000,000 on resume, history and skills but from a promotional standpoint, his net worth is probably not even close to that. The UFC (or so on so forth) probably aren't going to upset their pay structure on the hopes that seeing a blinged out fighter draws in a section of the audience that's not tuning in now. Could it? I mean I guess it could since Conor McGregor's trying it but it sure seems like a lot of folks see through McGregor's rent everything for a day then return it gimmick. MMA doesn't pay in a way that's drawn in the more modern African American casual audience and until that changes, you'll forever be talking about the what if's of the whole damn thing.

5- There's almost an uneasiness to go back and look at what has drawn in the African American audiences, or just big audiences involving African American fighters, before. Now off the bat, we don't know the composite of what the household breakdown is or what the demos were but let's JUST look at the big drawing fights with African Americans at the top of the billing. The biggest fights off the top of my head are Rashad Evans vs Rampage Jackson, Jon Jones vs Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones vs Rashad Evans. There's elements of uncomfortable in that, ya know? The Rampage/Rashad beef, as fun as it was, involved a lot of really uncomfortable moments where Rashad accused Rampage of essentially of dumbing himself down for the UFC audience and running a minstrel show (a similar complaint/accusation was levied by King Mo at Rampage). Rashad vs Jon Jones was a massive falling apart between two guys who were essentially brothers to one another and Daniel Cormier vs Jon Jones involved shoes being thrown, Jones roaring on a stage like a madman and DC once proclaiming that the fans didn't like EITHER of them but they hated Jon Jones more so he was the by default babyface. I mean if  YOU were an African American looking to get into MMA, would that kinda shit drive you in?

6- What if the fighter who can appeal to African Americans just isn't in the UFC right now? Or MMA in general?

7- The UFC promotes everybody the same. The comment that always comes up is "THEY HAVE SPECIAL PROMOTIONAL TACTICS FOR GUYS THEY WANT TO PUSH" but common sense suggests they really don't.  The only person who is unique in that regard was Ronda Rousey but she's different. Guys debut on prelims, if they wow then the UFC will social media the hell out of them and then if win AGAIN they get hot and get moved up to a main card and if they catch even more smoke, the UFC starts to trumpet the guy in the same way they trumpeted everybody else. Some guys take and some guys don't. There's no absolute way to make it work. While they COULD do something different to market towards African Americans, they may just be fine with how they do things in general because the levy hasn't broken yet or at least not entirely. It's just kind of doing what it always does.

So where's all this leading? I mean I 'unno. I think we can all agree that the growth of the sport is paramount to fans, promoters, TV execs, web people etc etc etc. If there's a large community of folks who might like this madness as much as we do but they're not being drawn in for one reason or another then shit, we should all want them in. This failboat of a sport is for all!  The problem is that I just don't think there's an obvious solution. What's worked in the past for the African American audience in combat sports really can't work in MMA. They can't quite mind the gap between "I'd like to like MMA" and "I'd like to pay to watch MMA" because of SO many factors right now prohibiting it. Now of course I'd like to see more effort in promoting to other groups of people but unless they have a good plan in place to implement it, I suppose no effort and bad effort equal out to all the same. There's no Bill Watts (never thought I'd namedrop this guy on here, Jesus Christ) to come up with great ways to elevate an MMA version of the Junkyard Dog. Maybe that's not a bad thing though given Watts' reputation.

And even Daniel Cormier is quite honest about Mighty Mouse not fitting into a set group. He's a nerdy short dude who doesn't talk a lot of trash and as dynamic as he is in the cage, his personality fits for a very small niche of people like myself and probably the folks reading this. He's a niche guy and while I'm glad to be in that niche, I understand the limited appeal. In my mind, the one demo you can market Mighty Mouse to are to kids and teenagers given the fact he's not super big and does internet streaming and while this is a perfect comp, the Ray Mysterio factor of "look at this smaller guy doing cool shit!" should have some impact in MMA.

So I guess, in the end, figuring this whole thing out is truly a matter of determining the How's and Whys'.

[netunleashed-blog]

Why bots taking over (some) journalism could be a good thing

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=6646 Why bots taking over (some) journalism could be a good thing - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=6646 Sometimes it’s easy to be cynical. When I read pieces suggesting that in the future robots will do all the journalism, I wonder: hasn’t that already happened? My news feeds are full of pieces highlighting the funny tweets I saw yesterday, regurgitating press releases and embedding YouTube clips of someone I don’t recognize being 'totally destroyed!' by someone I haven’t heard of. You could probably automate that in an afternoon. We’re already used to news aggregation, where algorithms create personalized feeds. Could the next step to be automated writing? Shallow isn’t stupid Not so fast, bots. Buzzfeed does some brilliant, important journalism, as do many other media properties that also publish the shallow stuff. In our ad-driven utopia, in which hardly anybody wants to pay for news any more, the fluff is often what pays the bills, and it's bankrolling the good stuff, because good journalism takes time, effort and money; what’s important is rarely what’s bringing in the eyeballs for advertisers. The Washington Post’s Knowledge Map automatically adds contextual and background information to articles If robots can take over the grunt work, which in many cases they can, then that has the potential to lower media organizations’ costs and enable them to spend a greater proportion of their advertising income on more serious material. That’s terrible news for anybody whose current job is to trawl Twitter for slightly smutty tweets by reality TV show contestants, but great news for organizations funding the likes of Guardian journalist Carole Cadwalladr, who broke the Facebook / Cambridge Analytica scandal. Isn’t it? What newsbots can (and can’t) do A lot of journalism is simple reporting: it simply says, “here is a thing that happened”. And that can be very valuable. When the UK's Met Office issues a weather warning, that’s crucial information for farmers. When a company issues a trading warning or central banks consider raising interest rates, that’s important for the financial markets. When a publication in one part of the world publishes a story, it might be really useful information for organizations in another part of the world, and so on. Automating that kind of thing is pretty straightforward, so for example a bot might take a company’s financial press release and summarize it for a financial news site. We’re already used to news aggregation, with algorithms creating personalized feeds for us. Could the next step to be automated the writing of stories? Technology can help with a lot of basic reporting. For example, the UK Press Association’s Radar project (Reporters And Data And Robots) aims to automate a lot of local news reporting by pulling information from government agencies, local authorities and the police. It’ll still be overseen by “skilled human journalists”, at least for the foreseeable future, but the actual writing will be automated: it uses a technology called Natural Language Generation, or NLG for short. Think Siri, Alexa or the recent Google Duplex demos that mimic human speech, but dedicated to writing rather than speaking. According to Urbs Media editor-in-chief Gary Rogers, who’s working with PA on the RADAR project, “local papers don’t have the staff to write those stories and no centralized operation – even at the scale of PA – is going to take on writing 250 localized stories. We realized if we can write this automation into the local news production process, we are not taking someone’s job, we are doing something that no one else is doing.” Tools of the trade Where automation gets interesting is when it assists journalists rather than replaces them. The BBC’s Juicer “takes articles from the BBC and other news sites, automatically parses them and tags them with related DBpedia entities. The entities are grouped in four categories: people, places, organizations and things (everything that doesn’t fall in the first three).”The New York Times’ Editor app, meanwhile, scans, classifies and tags articles to crunch data faster than humans can. The Washington Post’s Knowledge Map assists readers by linking related content together, automatically “providing relevant background, additional information or answers to frequently asked questions, when the reader wants it”. The BBC’s Juicer scans and classifies stories from multiple sources to help journalists with their research Fighting the fakes My biggest worry about artificial intelligence writing stories is that if you put garbage in, you get garbage out. Despite its supposed battle against fake news, Facebook has been loath to exclude the political site InfoWars from its platform – even though InfoWars has variously reported that the horrific Sandy Hook massacre of schoolchildren was a hoax and that NASA has a slave platform on Mars. Over on YouTube, the trending topics algorithm often prioritizes tinfoil-hat nonsense over verifiable fact; on Twitter, we’ve seen the rise of bots endlessly posting the same often baseless claims. An AI that sees such sources as credible is an AI that promotes fake news rather than fights it. Fake news isn’t a new problem – this cartoon is from 1894 – but technology has weaponized it. And of course fake news has very real consequences, whether it’s hoaxes causing real-world violence or quackery and pseudoscience resurrecting deadly diseases we thought we’d got rid of for good. Fighting fire with fire The answer may be more AI. For example, the startup AdVerif.ai uses AI to detect fake news and other problematic content on behalf of advertisers who don’t want their ads to appear next to made-up content. It describes itself as “like PageRank for fake news, leveraging knowledge from the web with deep learning”. In practice that means checking not just the page content but the trustworthiness of its publisher, and comparing it with a database of known fake news articles. It’s in its very early stages, and mistakes do get through, but it and systems like it have the potential to help us separate fact from fiction.Then again, as the internet has demonstrated time after time, the bad guys find ways to use technology too, and they often outsmart the good guys. It isn’t hard to imagine a not-too-distant future where one set of AIs battle fake news while another set comes up with ever more inventive ways to battle the first bunch of AIs. Could AI lead to an online arms race between fakebots and newsbots like the one between advertisers and ad-blockers? My optimistic side says no, but two and a half decades spent online tells me yes. Maybe I should ask Siri to investigate. TechRadar's Next Up series is brought to you in association with Honor Source link

[nemolian]

We Need to Talk About Magic Leap's Freaking Goggles

Magic Leap finally did it. After $2 billion in funding and a few years of leaks, teases, and hints, Magic Leap finally has an actual product that someone has actually touched with their actual hands. Magic Leap announced the Magic Leap One Creator Edition as we all got to our desks this morning, and Rolling Stone quickly followed with a description of using the device. It’s a big wordy read, but it finally reveals exactly why the startup was able to get so much funding. This is augmented reality that actually interacts with your environment—it’s selling a whole new way of perceiving 3D virtual objects, and it requires some ugly ass goggles to do it.

The goggles (pictured above in all their dumb glory) are a pain, because man, the tech Rolling Stones describes is cool as hell. To date, AR has been a gauzy kind of hologram over the real world. Let’s use the Jedi Challenges AR game released earlier this year as an example. It’s already out in the real world, and like the Magic Leap One, it uses goggles for the AR experience. Here’s Kylo Ren in that experience.

GIF

Image: Disney/Lenovo

It’s very obvious that Kylo Ren isn’t actually in the room. If you were to step between me and this goofball, he wouldn’t disappear. He’d still be there, you’d still be in front of me, and I would be very aware that Kylo Ren is a total fake.

But according to the Rolling Stone report, that experience would be different if I were wearing the Magic Leap One. Writer Brian Crecente describes trying out an AR experience involving a virtual robot:

The robot obediently appeared in the distance, floating next to Miller. Miller then walked into the same space as the robot and promptly disappeared. Well, mostly disappeared, I could still see his legs jutting out from the bottom of the robot.

My first reaction was, “Of course that’s what happens.” But then I realized I was seeing a fictional thing created by Magic Leap technology completely obscure a real-world human being. My eyes were seeing two things existing in the same place and had decided that the creation, not the engineer, was the real thing and simply ignored Miller, at least that’s how Abovitz later explained it to me.

That level of interaction between real world and virtual objects in AR is wildly difficult to accomplish. It’s a big deal.

For months, cryptic teases and rampant rumors have indicated that Magic Leap was planning some sort …

Read more Read

Equally big, but more difficult to hype, is the kind of technology Magic Leap purports to be using in the Magic Leap One to visualize all its augmented reality. According to Magic Leap, it’s manipulating the light field we perceive the world through.

That sounds like science fiction. It’s not. First coined in 1936, “light field” is meant to call to mind magnetic fields. Essentially, it’s a phrase you use to refer to all the light bouncing off objects. Cameras and modern displays interpret a small fraction of that field, which is why images taken by cameras or portrayed on displays appear flat. The human eye can interpret much more of the light field, and artificial light fields have generally come up against an issue of creating more data than a human can actually process, because the human innately knows it isn’t real.

As Rolling Stone explains, Magic Leap founder Rony Abovitz postulated that if you could isolate the part of the light field the human eye is accustomed to parsing you could create a focused artificial light field.

Thus computer generated images, like the two dimensional virtual ones you might spy when using an AR headset, would appear three dimensional. This would be much more realistic than the kind of stereoscopic 3D viewing tech found in all TVs, games, and movie theaters today. Abovitz told Rolling Stone, “I call this the cockroach of the industry because it just never dies and it needs to just stop.”

As noted in the piece, stereoscopic 3D tech has been around for well over a hundred years. People would watch images pop out at carnival side shows in the late 1800s and early 1900s. They’d strap on red and blue glasses in the 60s and big grey glasses in the 2000s. Even the VR headset you might use today uses a variation of stereoscopic 3D technology, which shows you the same thing in both eyes, but slightly off axis, tricking your brain into perceiving the two slightly different 2D objects as one 3D object.

Magic Leap would toss all that (and the headache you probably get from extended 3D viewing) out. In theory anyway. And let’s hope so, because the masses are going to need something crazy good to buy in. Remember how most people slept on smartphones and Bluetooth headsets until they were an iPhone or a pair of wireless earbuds that also played tunes? That’s the kind of, well, leap this tech will need to achieve before people wear something this dorky.

I mean look at this shit!

Sure, it’s better than the awful backpack leaked earlier this year.

And it’s nowhere near as bad as developer models for other mixed reality darlings, like the original Oculus Rift, or even the Microsoft HoloLens. Comparatively speaking, the Magic Leap One goggles are sleek and borderline cool. For a developer eager to dip their toes into the sweetest sounding mixed reality experience yet, this headset’s look will not detract.

But still, what does an ordinary person see here?

Look at that very attractive man. He has tattoos! He can pull off a thin t-shirt without looking cheap or sloppy! That beard is trimmed. And he still looks like a dork. I still have the urge to give him a wedgie or a wet willy, or at least try and knock that dorky looking computer off his hip.

This guy is basically wearing the first step towards a holodeck strapped to his face, and all I want to do is call him a nerd and mock his life choices.

Virtual reality sure is cute. And, yes, I do mean that in the most condescending way possible.

Read more Read

The biggest hurdle Magic Leap faces isn’t explaining artificial light field technology to the masses, it’s overcoming the fact that in order to get true, scifi level augmented reality a person is gonna have to look like the biggest dweeb on the planet. People do not want to look like dweebs when engaging with technology.

And Magic Leap has to know that. Google Glass is way too fresh in the minds of people in this business. Which means the company is confident it can actually deliver an experience so incredible looks don’t matter. It’s investors are confident too, or they wouldn’t be throwing so much cash into the start up. The Magic Leap One sounds really cool, and I can only hope it lives up to the hype train it’s currently racing through the media on. I’m ready for the AR future, man.

via:Gizmodo, December 20, 2017 at 02:50PM

[clubofinfo]

Expert: People will believe a big lie sooner than a little one, and if you repeat it frequently enough, people will sooner or later believe it. ― Walter C. Langer, The Mind of Adolf Hitler: The Secret Wartime Report, 1972, Basic Books I write a lot about the punishment society, which is the hallmark of American capitalism, both conceptually and in practice. It bears repeating and repeating – ironically the punishers of late are also Zio-Cons, and we get ad nauseam the Jewish holocaust, the Jewish Reparations, the Single Moment in Eradication, but god forbid that we have common sense history about the destruction of native peoples here, the subjugation of Africans, the entire blasted world of moneyed interests slashing and burning entire swaths of mother earth and children of the earth. You listen to the Goldman Sachs thugs in Armani, Jewish or Christian, and listen to the arbiters of slave wages and precarious work, who have set up a false dichotomy of “all the money for millionaires and billionaires, or else the collapse of society, so buyer beware and don’t complain about social services/safety nets being cut, or yammer on about the public commons being yanked away by the almighty corporations, or push this fair wages, equity, and education-housing-healthcare for all agenda, or else — YOU all will see the collapse of any hope YOU all have in making it to even first-base in this competitive world.” This is the warfare carried out daily, for sure, the heavy economic carpet bombing by the chosen ones, by the few, elite, the hedges and Kochs and all the other captains of thievery. The uneven reality of the chosen few holding court over the universe, divvying up the crumbs of their engorgement to the masses, as in 99.99 percent of the world. This elitist mongering of the moneyed class, the all-powerful, those symbols of manhood in Capitalism – the barrel of a gun, the nuclear tip of the proverbial phallic, the supersonic waste of our militaries, or the blubbery sap of fawning over the mercenaries of the land, from SEAL to sweating Green Beret, it is hyper-unreal but hyper-deadly! In this large view, this wide angle take, we have microcosms tied to the belief systems of those underlings and swollen-lipped small-timers who push the punishment daily on the streets, in the stores, in the schools, at airports, on public transportation. It was one of those Skippy days on the Portland light rail, MAX, listening to two great examples of minor league punishment on the small-small little Eichmann scale – a man and a woman, in their forties, heading home after a hard journey into night: parking ticket enforcers. I understand the work and words of the working class, but these two just kept swapping stories of the stupid people (their words) trying to get out of tickets, that is, attempting to thwart the sting of the violations in this punishment society. This is the Eichmann of the Small-fry species, in a nutshell, but the way these two stalwarts of retrograde humanity were depicting violators is emblematic of this country’s “it will not take a village to raise a vibrant and safe village – so let the dog eat the dog world prevail be damned” ethos (sic). Something about the American mindset, in general, that has been raised on high fructose corn syrup and the most perverted TV-Film-Video Game-Live Event shit out there. The very manifestation of sociopathy, but these people believe their very prominence in the community is somehow the glue for our culture. The kicker, though, way beyond the mean-spiritedness of their depictions of poor people freaking out about a $44 ticket or multiple $100 violations, was how they demeaned the tourists and locals who dare ask these uniformed ticket cops for simple directions. These two idiots believe they bear no responsibility in assisting the city (where their salaries originate) with the tourists and locals attempting to find place in a cluttered high rise city. It’s the old adage of putting a badge and uniform on someone, and the little brown-shirt many times comes out, in all its glory of dehumanizing “the other” by believing their very existence in the gravity vortex is somehow very special. Making fun of people looking for directions to the museum or some cool well-known locality, well, that’s classlessness of the crass country we have morphed deeper into. This attitude is carried through to its very high-level and broad-reaching culmination in the hard and wicked rules-regs-fines-taxes-garnishments-limitations-checks-and-balances this pro-pro Capitalist society has built into the unfair system of corporations calling all the shots. We can see it in the blaring light and dank shadows as a parody of this un-Supreme Court follies, with this un-gentleman Utah judge whose goal in life is to protect the collective kleptomania of the corporations and taskmasters of hedge funds and the banksters getting the same-same faux grilling of all the other judges for the highest court of the land. One decision says it all, in life, for sure, and his decision to side with the trucking company that fired the trucker for leaving the trailer to save his own life and not putting other travelers at risk is proof of lack of judgment. But then to believe his own little cold blooded pissed out empathy Gorsuch spewed under the lights of the media — with Saturday Night Live comic-senator grilling him? — justifies his existence as a non-impartial judge. But then again, this addiction to the rule of law, over rule of humanity, well, that’s what we have handed over to this legal system where a Gorsuch can ramrod his interpretation of bloodless and emotionless legal crap, putting  every man/every woman at risk, and under the screws of the felonious corporations. Neil Gorsuch – hmmm. America is all in for the optics, the crudeness of these rotten guys, like Trump, or even some military punk, like Schwarzkopf; collectively we are into the military, into the bombs bursting in air. We are lovers of the men and women in blue, and lustful for the hardware – guns and tanks and civilian control devices and SWAT and Sniper gear. It’s what kiddos gravitate toward, and teens, even girls and women, and then the older infantiles, the men in big pick-up trucks or those in tricked-out Honda Accords. This is the punishment hoard, hoping for some cruising for a bruising war or skirmish or anything to make noise and flatten people – people of color, especially, and those boats of fleeing refugees, ka-boom, ordnance dropped smack on schools and strafing of lifeboats. This is not just the dominion of conservatives, or right-wing wackos. The average liberal hems and haws about just how big of a killer Obama was, and how deeply ingrained the Democratic Party is in the military industrial complex. Colleagues in the social services are actually legitimizing anything that demonizes Russia or Iran or North Korea. And this is a culture of armchair Eichmanns, for sure, just counting the fissures in their own countrymen/women, and waiting to swoop down and attack all social services, all things good and safe in the form of the human/humane welfare system. A picture is worth a thousand words, or in this case, a picture-perfect immigration ban for leading minds from Africa paints a perfect portrait of how fascist and insipid this country is, from election cycle to election cycle, from one rotten president to the next, one new law after another new law: The African Global Economic and Development Summit, a three-day conference at the University of Southern California (USC), typically brings delegations from across Africa to meet with business leaders in the US in an effort to foster partnerships. But this year, every single African citizen who requested a visa was rejected, according to organizer Mary Flowers. This is probably the biggest news of late, never broadcast on major networks, never mouthed by the pundits, and, quickly vanishes into the sludge that is mainstream thinking and journalism, but what does this mean, that 80 leaders from African nations were blocked from coming to the freest (sic) nation (sic) in the world because of this country’s proclivity to not want to know, to witness, or tangle with the real important ideas! The compelling part of all of this is the unknowing, the unholding, the lack of honor, the hold on the minds of the controllers – everyone is enemy, everyone is a set of biometrics to parse up and juggle inside the dungeons of digital prejudice. This is not the first example of bans, travel restrictions, of pushing truth and debate into a prison cell or isolation chamber. This country, UK, Canada, EU, Israel, and a thousand banana republics run by capitalism thugs spewing declarations of independence, they’ve all done bans, for decades, centuries, millennia. Applied not, 2017, in USA, well, no wonder there is confusion running amok in the liberal (sic) class (sic). This is the infatuation of America – how much can we throw up on Facebook, how much can the corporations capture, and how well can the government facilitate the collection services of the profilers? There are great chasms in America, and they are etched through the implosions of capital eating at mother earth, all those rivers of toxins cutting away at the epidermis of the world, exposing the villainy and corruption of the elites and outing the tag-along middlings who are in it for the chance at lottery fame, anything to touch the sagging skin of the Trumps and the Botox glow of their trophy wives! All of this observational tie-in is being unpacked through the wickedness of the world I work in – social worker, homeless advocate, recovery facilitator, and even though the systems I work under are non-profits, the devilish nature of my colleagues’ own version of punishment toward our clients is sometimes shocking. This is the systems of accounting for every fucking dollar spent on a struggling soul, while the interior designers and architects glower over their profits. I run into people in the government bureaucracies, and they are so tied to the fatalism that is fate-determined by their Judaeo-Christian belief systems – professing the work they are doing, the work I do, is predetermined by their master(s) god(s)/Jesus(-es)/all knowing (s). It’s messy, this pre-ordained belief system, as I work with some major cases of people trapped in that trauma no-one on any Breaking Bad set could dream up in their Hollywood nightmarish brains. Fate and angels and afterlife –whew! Americans believe there is an afterlife, heaven, with the all-knowing god all buttoned up and tailgate party ready for believers to continue the hallelujah all-you-can-eat buffet (puns intended), says poll after poll, year after year — 90 percent! And then, more than half of Americans polled (52%) believe in fate — out of our hands, out of our agency! We are talking about women in their forties, survivors of childhood horrors like being pimped out at 12 after six years of constant rape, violence, witnessing of more horrors, booze and pills and meth by the age of 11. Fodder for the punishers, the levelers, the judges, the pundits, the inquisitionists, for sure. Yet, the systems fed by broken safety nets, broken by the people in it for the I Do Not Know paycheck. Horror upon horror, and yet my colleagues sees this all as a great plan for their demon god(s). Plan of the great planner to seed youth at age six with syphilis, seed brains with violence only dreamed up in the corridors of the most wicked people on earth. Yet, our systems of social work only give these damaged one so much time before we turn our back on them, exit them, finish all services. Heroes, in the survivor sense, but outcasts by not only the elites, the Social Darwinist millionaire clubbers, but in many ways outcasts by the very people who should know, care, and advocate. I see the disempowerment of the “normal” barely standing straight a portion of the day facing all these disruptive industries-economies-education plans-ideologies-collective consumerism-on-steroids. I see it in their eyes, in the way they hold their hands; I hear it in their voices – defeated but gasping at the final attack on say, a Donald Trump, confused by the rapidity of the fall (sic). I want to give them the benefit of many a doubt, to be sure. My brethren want no anger, no radicalism, no revolutionary, no mano y mano. Praying for salvation in the other life, the after-pre-life. This is not the teachings of Martin Luther King, Jr., this passivity, this hoping for change in the leaders who control the armament of military-police-finance in their vigilantism of anything dealing with the public good-welfare-safety. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, extreme materialism and militarism are incapable of being conquered. — “Revolution of Values” speech 1967 This is death by a thousand bills, debts, fines, fees, deductions, de-fundings, delays, garnishments, and paying the ferryman for services unrendered. The insanity is not only the perversions of our capitalist world – graduates of the school of inflicting maximum pain. The insanity is in compliance, in our unwillingness to collectively rebel, stand up, walk off, strike, hack, reappropriate, and carry out a massive citizen’s arrest to lay claim to our futures and our great-great-great grandsons and granddaughters’ futures. The insanity is how much we are taking and subjugating our wills to; how far we allow the perpetrators to go into our own heads until we believe suicidal walking is an option; and how willing we are to move closer and closer to the edge of the cliff that capitalism has carved out from which the world to jump off. The insanity is the lack of rebellion, the lack of mouthing off to the controllers and the Little Eichmanns; the insanity is the de-education, the re-education by/for/through the controllers. The real madness is our lack of anger and our collective lack of will to take on the ignorance that is at the heart of consumer-predatory-extractive Capitalism. For those of us who do, we are lone actors, men and women lost of tribe, hitting the horizon at terminal velocity speed. It’s a dance with many devils, a tango with toxins, a self-encased dirge. We have lost tribal truths and human touch. We are wrapped in plastic and steel pushing air-water-land into a permanent fog of pollution, and the greatest of all pollutants — war. That’s one megaton bomb of guilt and awareness to place on one’s shoulders, but is there some other choice? http://clubof.info/