#being sick is so funny. everywhere makes me emotional and everything is so beautiful

[bodyofstars]

this was so good. i’m going to go cry now

everyone go here.

[golden--doodler]

Tumblr is being dumb and not wanting to work with me today (and is also dumb for not letting me put in more than one video clip), but @babsvibes asked me what some of my favorite Bob's Burgers quotes are, so here is my response in its entirety (you better buckle up, because it's long):

Babs!! I appreciate you so much, thank you for giving me another ask❣️

You already know who most of these quotes will be from because you asked me 🤣 This ask is too good, I’m super excited to get into this.

Okay, I don’t have these in any particular order (this was originally meant to be a top five but got expanded to eight (plus a ton of honorable mentions) because there are just too many good quotes), but some of my absolute favorites are:

—(From the movie): “I know you’re droopy Bob right now, but you know who else is in there? Dreamy Bob. The guy who wanted to open a restaurant in the first place, slap his name on it, make cuckoo, crazy burgers with wild ingredients. A new one every day.” —Linda 🥹

Bonus: “You know what you gotta do to droopy Bob? You gotta hit him in the nuts, like this! >:D”--Linda, AKA the best wife in the world

This scene always has me extremely unwell. It’s like the writers took a look at me and my blog and were just like How can we activate Doodler’s emotional tears to the maximum degree? It honestly has everything I could’ve asked for. Linda being the best, most supportive wife in the universe? Yup. Bob being his usual sad, dramatic self? Yes.

A BOBLIN FLASHBACK WITH LINDA PREGNANT WITH TINA AND BOB LOOKING SO EXCITED AND PASSIONATE ABOUT THE RESTAURANT?? 🥺🥺🥺 Check.

—(Also from the movie): “Can I say, ‘Honey, No’!” —Gene

“No 🙄” —Louise

This line is hilarious and caught me so off-guard when I first heard it. It’s one of the best Gene lines, which is quite the feat given that he has so many good lines. I can’t believe some people can’t see his beautiful Genderfluidity after hearing this line and Eugene Mirman’s delivery. Genuinely, though, I absolutely love how comfortable Gene usually is when it comes to being himself. There are moments where his self-doubt and insecurity creep in, and I could make a whole post about that, but whenever he’s around his family, he’s usually so comfortable with saying what he wants.

—(I forgot which episode this was from and couldn't figure out which one it was, if someone can tell me, that would be much appreciated 😭): “Teddy, I know that’s your burger. Stop being weird and just eat the burger.” —Mr. Bob Burger himself

Bonus: “Is this what you want you sick bastard?????” —Teddy

This exchange is so freaking funny, such a classic. Bob and Teddy’s yelling matches never fail to make me burst out laughing. And just the fact that this all happened because Bob gets so upset when people eat other burgers and like them, so everyone has to pretend to not like other burgers?? Hilarious. He’s such a sensitive man, I love him so much.

—(From “The Runaway Club”): “I’m a little disappointed too. Before I saw it on you, I thought this bracelet was classy.” —Tina

Bonus: “Take. It. Off.” —Tammy

“I. Would. Rather. Die.” —Tina

“THEN YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!” —Tammy

Tina’s line here is so good. I love how she can come up with really good one-liners to get back at Tammy when she wants to. And Tammy getting so jealous and angry?? Hilarious. And then Jocelyn panicking and pulling the fire alarm?? And then Jimmy Jr. being an absolute dumbass and just spraying a fire extinguisher everywhere? 11/10 scene.

Plus, you gotta love how protective Gene and Louise get over Tina here: “Get your hands off my sister 😡”

—(Deleted line from “Father of the Bob”): “He lets me eat as much Tylenol as I want! 😄”

Yes, I’m including a link to the animation I did for this scene yesterday, don’t judge me.

Anyway, this line is actual comedy gold. I can’t believe they cut it. Yes, they don’t want kids to be irresponsible with Tylenol. But it’s so funny!! Gene, sweetie, please don’t overdose on medicine.

It’s also really sweet how much the kids love their Pop Pop. It’s just really nice that they have a grandparent they love because Gloria and Al are the worst.

—(From “Tina-Ranasaurus Wrecks”): “TINA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EITHER TURN AWAY OR STOP—THE BRAKES, TINA, YOU’RE ABOUT TO—HIT THE BRAKES” —Bob

Bonus: “God, you’re so honest. Who raised you?” —Bob

“I don’t know 😫” —Tina

This scene absolutely sends me Every. Single. Time. It’s so good. Just Tina’s constant groaning and Bob’s panic which only grows as they get closer to the only other car in the parking lot?? I can’t. His yelling at the end never fails to send me into a fit of laughter. There's just something about the way H. Jon Benjamin delivered it.

And the fact that the car Tina hit was Jimmy Pesto’s? That makes this scene even funnier.

—(From “Can’t Buy Me Math”): “Did someone order takeout or should I say take off?? 😏” —Bob

Bonus: “No one wants to see that! 😡” —Random patron at Jimmy Pesto’s

“Hey! I do! 🤬” —Linda

This is one of my all-time favorite Boblin moments, tied only with the flashback scene from the movie, and probably their moment in “Bob, Actually”. 

Aside from how hilarious it is (I mean, “Takeout or should I say take off” lives rent-free in my head), it goes to show just how much these two love and adore each other. Bob was willing to be naked in full view of customers at Jimmy Pesto’s and he still did the strip tease because he loves Linda that much.

They definitely had a fun night together 😏

(From “The Plight Before Christmas”): “So jolly. I didn’t expect to feel this way. I was focusing on Santa, but the best presents are sitting here. And they aren’t even wrapped up.” —Louise 🥹

This scene makes me sob every single time. I think the part that gets me the most is the moment where Louise looks into the audience and sees Tina came to see her give the poem. Tina in this moment reminds me so much of my older sister it makes me way too emotional I might actually get sick. Without words, it showed their sisterly bond in such a beautiful way. And then Louise’s actual poem??????? I can’t handle it. The way she eloquently describes in poem form how much she cares about her family can’t be done justice in words.

God, I need a minute to recover from this.

And that’s my top eight! Here are some honorable mentions because there are just too many good quotes from this gem of a show:

—(From “The Gene Mile”): “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, CHANGE MY PHONE EVERY TEN YEARS??” —Teddy

“Y E S” —Bob

—(From “Dream a Little Bob of Bob”): “I DID IT. HELL YEAHHHHHHHH” —Tina

—(From “Boyz 4 Now”): “I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.” —Tina

—(From “Two For Tina”): “When you say no, it makes me want you more!!!!!! 😫” —Jimmy Jr.

—(From “Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien”): “It’s not a good feeling when they say everyone, but they don’t mean you.” —Gene

—(From “Torpedo”): “But I call you dad! I think of it as Dad’s Burgers!” —Gene

—(From “Best Burger”) “Dad!! I’m sorry I screwed up today. I’m sorry I screw up all the time! 😣” —Gene

Bonus: “Gene, you might make mistakes from time to time, but I love you and I love who you are.” —Bob 🥺

—(From “Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid”): “You were the only one interested in my innovative new menu. I was like you when I was a kid, you know. That’s how I got interested in cooking. And as soon as you pass that sip test, I’ll eat dinner with you.” —Bob

Bonus: “🎶 I could still be a winner, when I eat Dad’s Thanksgiving dinner! 🎶” —Gene

“That was beautiful, Gene 🥲” —Bob

“Thank you, Father~” —Gene

—(From “Mazel-Tina”): “Wow, Dad. I never realized how soulful your eyes are.” —Gene

“*Sighs* Gene. Wait, really?” —Bob

—(From “The Hauntening”): “Dad. I think you’re doing a really good job as a Dad.” —Gene

“Okay.” —Bob

“I’m having a really good childhood.” —Gene

“Okay, great.” —Bob

“Not right now, but overall.” —Gene

“I got it, thanks.” —Bob

“No, thank you. Thank you for your service.” —Gene

(From “Lil’ Hard Dad”): “You’re still my hero, Dad 😌” —Gene

“You’re mine too, Gene.” —Bob

(From “Broadcast Wagstaff School News”): “*Gasps* Travel-Sized Bob, awwwwww!!” —Linda

Bonus: “Muppet baby Bobby!!! :D” —Linda

(From “Lindapendent Woman”): “I’d rather be scraping by together than have extra money and be apart.” —Bob, AKA the best husband ever

(From “Mother Daughter Laser Razor”): “Wait. Mom. You don’t think I like you?” —Louise

Bonus (just for you, Babs!): “They just needed to see things from each other’s perspective 🥹” —Logan Barry Bush

(From “A-Sprout A Boy”): “I’ll never make you eat vegetables for breakfast, sweetie.” —Linda

“I love you, Mom (:” —Louise

(From “The Pickleorette”): “Oh my God, of course I’d hold your hand. I don’t want you to be scared. You’re my big, strong boy.”

(From "Sliding Bobs"): “Hey! You’ve got a lot of nerve picking on girl’s diamond rings with your thick, luxurious, Tom Selleckian mustache….. Hi.” —Linda

“Hi. My eyes are up here. Should we get some scissors?” —Bob

“What’s the rush? 😏” —Linda

(From “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?”): “Thank you, Gene. You’re a great large brother.” —Louise

“Anytime, shrimp.” -Gene, AKA the best big brother ever

(From “A Few ‘Gurt Men”): “I’m good at law!” —Gene, AKA the best lawyer ever

(From “Carpe Museum”): “So, when you take over the restaurant, will you call it Louise’s Burgers?” —Bob

“I don’t know. Maybe. Daddy.” —Louise

(From “Hawk and Chick”): “This Hawk and Chick will never not talk for thirty years!” —Bob

(I forgot which episode this is from but if someone can tell me, that would be much appreciated!): "I've got a license to counsel." --Mr. Frond

"Double O-So-Sad." --Louise

"Louise. Be nice." --Bob

"Why? It's Mr. Frond!" --Louise

(From "The Frond Files"): "I LOCKED MYSELF IN A RUH-OOOM WHILE CHILDREN WERE EATEN!!!!!!!!!!!!" --Mr. Frond

I need to cut myself off now but there are even more quotes I could’ve added 😭

[ramenaddicted]

Just desserts (Keigo x Reader cheating angst) Chapter 1

Hello there! this is my third attempt at angst. My other two are located on my A03.

Content Warning: Angst, Breakup, drug use, implied cheating, my interpretation of toxic relationships, toxic relationship, emotional manipulation, and heavily implied sexual content/situations, but no actual sex...yet.

Love is an unyielding force, depending on the person. Some people love hard, others have what I call an inkling of love. Meaning the love is there, just not an ample amount to make them stay or leave. Or some have no love at all; they fake their emotions just to gain a means to an end. So how do I classify the person who threw away three years of a perfectly good relationship?

Here we both stand in our (his) apartment; his eyes are downcast on the floor. He's silently begging for the floor to open up and devour him whole. My body moves on autopilot as I walk away from him, feet leading me to his den of sin. Our bedroom was once a source of comfort for us, now I'm hastily reminded of him fucking another woman on the sheets I painstakingly picked out, a nice burgundy color for fall.

As I hastily pack the essentials: clothes, toiletries, and a few comfort items, all harshly packed away in my purple suitcase. I feel the warmth of his body enveloping me; hands circled my waist, pulling me against his heaving chest. Why is he crying? Isn't this what he wanted?

He wanted an open relationship, he wanted other people, he wanted sex on his terms. None of which includes me, so I'm leaving.

"Please don't go," he begs. Funny for three years I had been trying to get him to open up to me and now all because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants he wants to have a breakthrough.

I forcibly pushed him off of me, I refused to feed into his crocodile tears.

"I'll be back sometime next week for the rest of my stuff," I reply venomously.

He screams for me to wait, but I'm already at the door. Fist clenched tight around the doorknob. I take a long breath before turning back to him. He's so beautiful, a cheating bastard, but a beautiful teary-eyed bastard.

"I refuse to be a fool for you anymore."

I refused to listen to his cries and pleas as I opened my gate to freedom and closed it behind me; trapping him in his den of sin or now his gilded cage of guilt.

||||

The first three days were the hardest; when I first left the apartment I wandered aimlessly until I got hungry and hunkered down in a cafe. It was like God was playing a cruel joke; there were couples everywhere, being cute and loving. It makes me sick, so in between drinking my too-sweet macchiato I called Junko, my dear friend, to let me stay at her place through this whole ordeal. I didn't have to wait very long before a familiar face was decorated with comical makeup (clown core is what she calls it.) Bustled through my section of the cafe.

"I know I'm supposed to cry with you, but this all-nighter setting spray."

I fucking died at her response, classic Junko; a fashionista to the end.

After leaving the cafe we went to a nearby convenience store and loaded up with everything: junk food, alcohol, and eye drops...for when we smoke "cigarettes" on the roof of her apartment building. During the walk, my phone kept vibrating in my pocket; I kept receiving calls from Keigo and ...Miruko? I was very tempted to throw my suitcase case and phone over the bridge, just a big fuck you to the birdman with hella mommy issues.

A blood-curdling scream ripped itself from Junko's throat, startling the fuck out of me.

"From experience, if you don't scream or cry, your thoughts and emotions will cloud your mind." She said with a jovial look etched into her clownish-looking features. "I rather scream than do something stupid, like throwing a 40,000¥ phone into a river."

She's right. So for a good half an hour; I screamed into the indigo/orange mixture that was the sky over Mustafu.

"Fuck you Keigo!!!"

My back welcomed the plush bedding of Junko's guest bedroom when I fell backward on it. Back lounging on the softest and not cum stained sheets; did I allow my eyes to close. I didn't allow my mind to dawdle on birdman and all his shortcomings, instead, I thought about-

"You wanna smoke a bowl?" Junko inquired while standing in the doorway.

"You might wanna pack that bowl nice and tight." I meditated while staring at the colorless ceiling. My night ended with me and Junko smoking a bowl on the roof of her apartment building staring at the ever-changing hues of the sky,...yeah I'll be alright.

||||

I don't remember much of day one at Junkos, day two I spent most of the day hiding away and thinking. My relationship with Keigo had red flags from the beginning. His crude personality manifested when the two of us would have fought and in the end; when he got knocked down a peg, would lead him to hide or fly into the night.

Funny, he can insult me, but when I raise my voice I'm being unreasonable.

With my collection of parental issues; I swallowed my pride and apologized. Every single time I would come crawling to that mother fucker his eyes glowed darkly with amusement. Another red flag was the gifts; Keigo expressed early on that he was a gift-giver, and it never sat right with me. One day a Givenchy dress showed up on my doorstep; Keigo was adamant that I wear it to a charity function. The next gift was a necklace he quietly placed around my neck while I was distracted. Lastly and the most shocking, a forced threesome. We had talked about fantasies and whatnot; I jokingly mentioned that I wanted to have a (hypothetical) threesome with him and another Pro hero, you know as a joke.

"Keigo, what is this?"

"A gift for patching me up last week."

"Such a loving girlfriend, Y/N.” Mirko passionately murmured. Her desire-filled crimson eyes bore holes into my frame. Yes, Mirko is a beautiful and intimidating woman, but...

I couldn’t stop the chill that ran through my body as I watched Pro Hero Miruko saunter over to my direction, all dressed in expensive-looking lingerie. The necklace that Keigo gifted me before, fitting comfortably around her neck. She tucks a strand of stray hair behind my ear, her lips were nibbling on my left earlobe; hot, wet, and hungry. I tried to back away from her but felt Keigo’s bare chest against my clothed back as his tongue sensually licked my right earlobe.

My thoughts are a mess; my pulse is racing faster than a speeding bullet, my body is racked with tremors, and my throat is dry. Why would he do this? Am I not enough for him? Does he want someone else?

We got as far as kissing, Miruko could taste my uneasiness through her passionate ones while Keigo watched from his place on a chair in the bedroom.

Now that we're apart or split up, I can finally breathe. My worst decision relationship-wise; working for him and dealing with the commission and fangirls.

I knew what I was signing up for when I started dating him. The commission made it very clear, no one can know that we're dating. I was told that it could affect his rating and sponsorships, so I dumbly agreed to their terms. Soon after, I was working at his agency as a receptionist; It wasn't bad but soon a rep from the commission would appear and I had to be on my A-game to prove that I wouldn't be a hindrance to the number two hero.

With every great hero comes the horde of fans that come frothing at the mouth. Hawks fans are a different breed, to put it mildly, his fan club has made it clear they will eliminate any threat to his career. I found out the hard way when we were out on a date; a girl, who looked like a high schooler, told me I was too old to be liking Hawks.

"We're the same fucking age!"

I don't know what it's like to have your very existence scrutinized by the public, but I do know this, you can't hit a child in public. Every time I felt worthless, depressed, or on the verge of a breakdown; he was there for me.

Was he there for you, or did he do it so he could keep you under his thumb?

My thoughts raced as I rolled over in the guest bed. I'm safe, I'm fine, I'm alone. How long had I been awake? Dreaming about the past and work...oh shit!

Quickly turning off do not disturb mode on my phone, I could see the lengths Keigo went to get me to answer. What struck me as odd was an unknown number, the very same unknown that illustrated Keigo's cheating with texts and video.

What do you want?

Can we meet up? I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.

I don't understand, why would you want to meet me? I'm not going to give you any dirt on Hawks if that's what you're after.

Please, I'm not that petty; besides you deserve to know the full truth.

Unknown and I made plans to meet up later this evening. I only hope they tell me everything that Keigo was too scared to tell me.

Tagging: @deleteddewewted @fatgumsupremacy @johnsrevelation @samx-jpeg @mal-adaptive-daydreamers @bnhafanfiction @myhero-allmight @lemonlordleah

[erismerald]

𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 (Thranduil X plus size/midsize reader)

𝑨/𝒏: Hey, my little elves! As I saw that you liked my thranduil one-shot so much, I decided to create a series, I hope you like it!!! Remembering that my requests are still open, please enjoy, because reading your interest makes me want to write more and more.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: Menstruation, fluff, Comfort, slight NSFW? Its just spicy, but i think you gonna like it!!

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 2445

𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒚: None!! well request by me to me XD and for @sharinkashaf

You knew that you couldn't hide from his gaze for much longer, but you didn't want to have to deal with your insecurities or emotions, you were afraid that he would feel repulsed as your body, but you wanted to be with him, you wanted to be close to him so that his touch, his look would take all your fears and pain away, but you couldn't, you knew that if you heard his sweet voice purring your name, you would fall apart, you would burst into tears and that's exactly why you had been avoiding him for two days. You would walk through the most remote corridors, so as not to have to face him, you would feel bloated, sick, insecure with your body, sensitive, and moreover you didn't want to be a burden to him.

As you walked through the gardens of the forest, looking for a comfortable place to finish your book, the atmosphere seemed magical, the sunlight seeping through the treetops, the sunset was even more beautiful in Mirkwood, the sound of the water and the calm breeze dragging the first autumn leaves along the stone path, It was an atmosphere that helped you to think and forget all your worries, but while your body was moving you felt that you were being watched, you stopped for a moment, trying to analyze who or what it could be, until you felt the hand of someone touching you lightly on the shoulder, scared you turned towards the unknown hand, until you found a pair of eyes as crystalline as the winter dawn. With your hand resting on your chest you took a deep breath, still a little shaken with fright.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" Legolas laughed softly, as you looked at him with a slightly annoyed look "I've been looking for you everywhere, where have you been?" His voice sounded breathless, how long had he been looking for you?

"Ahm I was looking for a place to finish reading this book on medicinal plants, but why were you looking for-" You might be a mile away but the approaching voice was unrecognizable, you looked around to see which direction you were coming from and even though you weren't an elf you had a good eye, and right at the end of the stone path you saw his perfect figure walking steadily towards you, accompanied by two royal concelors and some guards. In one swift movement you took legolas' hand and ran away to some bushes a little further away from there, panting you hid just in time to escape being caught by Thranduil.

"What was that for?" he asked quickly, but soon you put a hand over his lips preventing him from speaking and made a sign of silence with your finger, as you heard his father's voice coming closer and closer to the two of you.

"I don't want your father to find me..." you said a little embarrassed, but Legolas seemed confused by the sudden revelation

"What? but why? I thought it had stopped, since when... you know he revealed his feelings to you, come on let's go talk to him!" The young elf was about to get up but you grabbed his hand and quickly pulled him down again, you could see in his eyes the frustration and at the same time how funny he was finding this situation.

You didn't have the courage to tell him what was really going on, so you thought of a way to try to escape without having to reveal your feelings, you closed your eyes (E/c), for a bit and an idea lit up the dark cloud of thoughts, sweeping it away from your horizon.

"I haven't been feeling very well, I've been a little sick and I don't really want Thranduil to worry about me."

You lied, but to tell you the truth, but not everything you said was a lie, you were feeling unwell, and it was true that you didn't want to worry anyone, especially if that someone is the King and has other things to worry about. "Help me to get to my room without your father noticing, I promise I'll tell you everything later, just help me with this please, Legolas" you put your hand over Legolas' hand and grabbed it tightly, the young elf knew that you didn't often have this kind of attitude, you were very independent, But he respected your privacy and wouldn't interfere in something you didn't want to tell him, being your best friend he knew you needed some time alone, that this sudden revelation of feelings had made you happy but exhausted, so he agreed to help you.

"Of course, count on me, but promise me that you will rest and if you need me, you will call on me," Legolas said, pulling you to him and hugging you tightly.

Legolas would try to distract his father while you escaped behind them, it was a good plan, so you were sure it would work, you waited for the opportunity and when you saw legolas nodding his head, you realized that the coast was clear, to escape.

But no matter how much you tried to appear discreet, Thranduil had noticed your behavior in the last few days, the way you tried tirelessly to hide from him, to keep away from him, he wouldn't deny that he was worried about you, that he felt alone without the heat of your body to warm him, without the sweet melody of your voice when you talked for hours wrapped in the darkness of the night, talking, about fears and happiness, about old stories that lulled you both, until sleep became contagious and you ended up falling asleep on his arms, while his body covered and protected you, he wanted to have you back with him, and found it ridiculous how dependent on you he had become in such a short time, but even though he tried to pretend that none of this new behavior affected him, he couldn't deny that seeing you slipping away from his grasp drove him crazy, even crazier for you, how much he loved you and couldn't bear to be apart from you for more than a day, and seeing you slip away and escape his touch, killed him inside.

Mirkwood was a beautiful place, but the rooted passages that crossed its heart was the safest place for you, you still remembered the first time you came here, scared and nervous to meet a king for the first time, never in your life you had thought that his heart would choose you... a few minutes walking, and you had already reached the black oak door that gave access to your room, the low light that illuminated your room made you feel that you weren't alone. ... his smell was hypnotizing, like a drug, ignoring his presence you walked to the middle of the room, letting the silence drive him crazy, neither you nor he moved, but you felt his gaze travel through your body, as if he was bewitching you, still on your back you let your voice manifest itself.

"My King I did not expect, to see you here..." you said a little nervous, you knew that Thranduil wasn't so gentle and nice, you knew him very well and being ignored was one thing he couldn't stand.

"my love, I know you are hiding from me" his voice froze your blood, you turned your body slowly, until you faced the crystal blue of his eyes, lit by the moonlight, there he was sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room, his breathing was calm, but you knew quite well that his mind did not express the same serenity. "Now it remains for me to find out why..." he said lifting his body, walking towards you, each step his majesty took was a missing beat that your heart forgot, you felt smaller than what you already were, his body stopped right in front of yours, giving you not enough movement to escape.

You shifted your gaze to the ground in an attempt not to have to handle his gaze intertwining with yours, however that attempt was unsuccessful, the moment you felt his finger wander across your face, caressing you until it reached your jawline pulling it up, forcing you to look into his gaze.

"Aran nin, I-" you tried to explain yourself but were stopped when you felt his lips on your ear.

"I didn't say you could talk nin meleth" you lost your breath, his voice traveled to the deepest places of your body, feeling your temperature rise, his lips slid smoothly across your skin, when he rose once again you could see the smirk on his lips, his gaze was destructive, his breathing began to quicken, along with your "Now sweetness, you have premission to explain yourself" for a few moments you remained silent not knowing what to say for sure.

"I... I didn't hide from you because I wanted to, but... I can't stop thinking about you... and right now isn't the greatest time to see each other or even talk" you whispered, but for Thranduil it wasn't hard to hear your voice, an elf's hearing was very keen and it took almost no effort.

The king stood there, watching your small body, sighed and with a simple gesture pulled you to him, hugging you tightly. "Nin Meleth, what you are doing to me is torture... and I don't usually let my enemies come forward alive, but something tells me you are not being honest with yourself" Thranduil lowered his lips to your neck once more and murmured against your skin "And you can be sure I won't let go until you are" It was the last straw, what could you answer? What could you do? You had no choice, once again he knew how to control you, how to make you do what he wanted, he had you in his hands and you didn't complain.

"I feel disgusting... I am impure for someone like you to touch me, I am not worthy to have you my king... "You couldn't say anything else, you felt the tears fighting hard to escape your eyes, but you remained strong, and you were thankful that his body hid yours so easily.

"If you're going to start that again .... I already told you Tári (my lady/queen), I'm not worthy of your love, yet here we are face to face once again, and as much as I may find our relationship inappropriate, I don't deny how important and necessary you are to me, and if you think you're impure because you bleed, you're wrong" your gaze opened quickly, did he know? Curious, he laughed at your reaction, and carefully ran his hand through your hair. "My love, I already knew that was the reason, but I respected your silence until you came to me, you are not impure, you are perfect, and if it has caused you this unfortunate feeling I will be delighted to take care of that problem" You felt yourself blushing at his words and could say no more, Thranduil stepped back letting the moonlight bathe his platinum hair.

"Thranduil... you knew... how did you know?" was the only thing you could say when you felt his touch leave your skin.

"Instinct" He said walking over to the small white quartz bathtub on the other side of the room, filling it with water, the steam spread to the rest of the room, the smell was sweet and exotic.

"Now Nin Meleth let me take care of you, I feel your aching body, and your unsteady mind, I promised I would take care of you and love you, and I will not break my promise" he said raising his hand towards you so you could grab it and so you did, still unsure of what might happen.

Thranduil guided you to the front of the bathtub and carefully removed the first pieces of your clothes, nervous with what he could see and his reaction, you pushed him away and covered your half naked body with your small hands, Thranduil laughed softly and knelt in front of you, taking your hands carefully and observing the neckline on the shirt that allowed him to see your breasts, his gaze almost ate you alive, but he controlled himself, letting him continue what he had started, you felt embarrassed to be half naked in front of him for the first time, with his gaze again travelling over every curve of your body, you felt the need to cover it up, but before you could the Elf took your wrists and stopped you from ending his wonderful view.

"My queen.... Do not forbid me to see what is mine... I have never seen anything so perfect in my life..." he whispered so that only you could hear these sweet words.

"Thranduil... I am nothing special, you must have seen better and more attractive bodies surely" You said looking deep into his gaze, you saw the passion burn.

"No... I haven't, and I certainly won't and I don't want to, now, hold on to my neck and let me make you feel better, this water has medicinal plants in it, its steam will help you there with the pain"

His touch on your body made you even more nervous, but you did as he had commanded, and effortlessly he placed your body into the water, you closed your eyes as you felt your skin being wrapped in the warm water, but you felt your breath being stolen as you felt the elf's hands caress your hair and shoulders, you were in heaven.

Time flew by, and your lover's hands went over every inch of your body, leaving your muscles relaxed, your breath heavy, and his gaze lusting for you more and more as he saw the white dress that protected your body from his gaze gluing itself tighter and tighter to your curves.

His hands took care of you, his words made you nervous and comfortable, his smell made you dizzy and his presence made you feel safe. After a long bath, it wasn't long before the king took your body, covered it in a crimson dressing gown and put you to bed so that you could sleep a little before the sun rose.

[orangekingfisher]

Hello! Sorry for sending an anonymous ask, but i'm figuring myself out still and i don't want my followers to know i might be aromantic. I see you post about your boyfriend every once in a while and i thought i should ask... what does it mean to be in love? Have a happy hallowe'en!

hello hello! and don't worry about the anon it's fine!!

what is not fine is this ask (/hj). do you have any idea of how difficult it is to understand something you have never experienced? it's hell. (i would know - i still have zero clue about what gender is all about. like people feel that shit? incredible)

I'll try my best to explain, anon, but i don't promise anything.

first of all, love is a feeling/emotion. it's always different, i might feel one way but someone else might say "THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT". it's fine. it's also different in regards of who's directed at. (it's worth nothing that im the kind of person who believes that love - like art - is everywhere and in everything. some people disagree. it's okay). the love i feel for my best friend is different to the one i feel for rpbg. how? idk. it's different though, and i don't mean that in terms of intensity - the way i feel (in my head in my body etc) is different. try and think about happiness and how knowing you've done a good job st school/uni/work is different from the happiness you feel when you're, idk, petting a cat or listening to your favourite song. you kinda get it?

love itself does make you feel a bit sick, yes. you feel like you're having a cold and your stomach shrinks and your legs shake and when the other person is away your heart ACHES. when he kissed me the first time i thought i was going to pass out. love is painful and it's beautiful because the amount of happiness i feel when im in love it's unparalleled. and being loved back it's the cure to the sickness above. it's all chemicals in your brain and it is a fucking drug

regarding the love i feel for rpbg, it is a mix. it's affection for sure, but there's also a romantic factor to it. like there's something else that's added to the affection. the word attraction is correct - i feel attracted to, towards, him. i wanna be close to him, touch him, hug him, cuddle him, etc. there is also this hopefulness of dreaming a life together - now in most of my thoughts he's there, he's present. it's a really nice thing. i also find myself thinking stuff along the lines of "oh we didn't do [thing]! ah, well, we have so much time in our life to do that", which, for someone who was highly suicidal up until not long ago it's just. AH. it makes me go crazy

also i trust him and he's funny as shit and when he starts talking i just!! want to listen!!! to him!!! he has Stuff To Say. also he's so fucking pretty (<- not really relevant but he's like a blorbo to me at this point and im rotating him in my mind and He.)

hopefully you figure yourself out anon! maybe you'll find love maybe not. either way it's fine, live your life and have fun!!! have a nice night!

[babyboy-cody]

ch. 01 | finding out

summary: after feeling so different for the past week, you decided to go to the doctor in order to find out what was actually wrong with you. the cause of you feeling this way was something you weren’t expecting.

warnings: depictions of early signs of pregnancy, clueless grayson, mentions of sean, implications of smut, mentions of abortion

quick note: okay so this is my first ever grayson series, so hopefully i make you guys proud. some of the pregnancy signs are things that some people don’t go through, so i wanted to make it as realistic as possible. any feedback would be great! <3

word count: 2.6k

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Waking up early in the morning, you never expected to feel like shit. From the position you were laying in, your tender breasts were pressed into the bed, causing you the slightest pain. You groaned and winced as you went to turn. Just from moving, you felt nauseous and dizzy, the blinding light from the sun pouring into the room caused you to squint. Grayson wasn’t in bed beside you as usual. He always woke up at the ass crack of dawn to start his morning routines of breakfast, exercising for two hours, and shower. The rest of his day is spent doing activities, such as woodworking/building, spending time with you, long-boarding, or exercising some more.

A wave of cramps suddenly hit you, causing you to muffle your long moan into your pillow. You tucked your body into the fetal position, tucking your hand under your sweatpants to press down on your lower stomach, hoping that the pressure would ease the aggravating pain. For the past week, you’ve been constantly getting cramps. The breast tenderness happened only a day later. Premature cramps are the usual sign of starting your period. What confuses you is why you woke up with no blood staining your underwear or pants.

Sluggishly grabbing your phone from under your pillow, you opened up your usual period app. The last time you had gotten your period was exactly the same day as last month. Your eyebrows furrow when you see that you should’ve started your period exactly two weeks ago. You hastily sit up, immediately shutting your eyes as a wave of nausea hit you like a tsunami. There was brief commotion coming from the kitchen, followed by Grayson yelling, “Ethaaannn!” You faintly heard Ethan’s boisterous laugh, which only amped up his younger brother’s annoyance.

You swallowed the forming saliva at the back of your mouth. You suddenly felt so exhausted, even though you had a whole ten hour rests with no interruptions or disruptions. Swinging your legs to the side of the bed, you slowly got up, shutting your eyes to avoid feeling dizzy so fast. You desperately craved Grayson’s warm skin against yours in order to make you feel better, especially when his strong arms were wrapped around you, holding you nice and tight against him. As though the universe heard your thoughts, Grayson enters the bedroom, a comfy hoodie adorning his upper body as gray sweats adorn his lower half. He looks so comfy and warm and soft with his messy hair and growing bed and bright smile.

“Look who’s finally awake!” He announced and spread his arms wide, running over to playfully (and gently) tackle you into the bed.

“Gray, Gray, baby, be gentle,” you quickly told him, hands grabbing onto his arm as the room suddenly spun. “I’m not feeling too good today.”

He immediately sat up, using one hand to push his long hair from his face as the other slowly sits you up. His eyes were full of worry as they scan you up and down. You smiled tiredly and gently stroked his jaw, loving the feeling of his scruff on your palm.

“What’ve you been feeling?” He was quick to ask you, desperately wanting to know why you’ve been feeling sick and what could’ve caused it. “Do you think it’s cause E was sick last week?”

“I mean, maybe,” you shrugged. “I’ve been getting cramps and my boobs have been hurting as usual before I get my period.”

“So you’re starting you’re period?” He questioned, thinking that could be the reason.

“I don’t think so, babe. I’m getting symptoms I’ve never gotten before and it’s worrying me,” you quietly told him, your voice holding such worry that he’s never heard before. “I’m so exhausted and dizzy and I can’t even stand without feeling like I’m gonna pass out.” You rubbed your hands over your face, groaning at the uncomfortable churning in your stomach as you suddenly thought about eating. “I can’t even think about food without feeling like I’m gonna throw up everywhere.”

“Baby, you need to make an appointment for the doctor or the GYN to see what’s going on. You don’t know if this could be something serious,” Grayson anxiously tells you, his large hands cupping your cheeks to make eye contact with you, his thumbs lightly stroking your warm skin back and forth.

“I will,” you held onto his wrists. “I promise.”

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After your serious talk with Grayson yesterday, you made an appointment to go to the gynecologist the very next day. Nerves were bubbling in the pit of your stomach, causing you to use the bathroom four times in the past hour. Ethan and Kristina were worried as well, unsure of what to do or say to make you feel at ease and less anxious. If what’s causing your sickness something terminal, they knew that Grayson would quite literally go insane. You were his person. Grayson was a believer of soulmates, and he knew deep in his heart and soul that you were his.

This morning, it was eerily quite. The air was awkward and tense with no one knowing how to break the ice. Grayson’s jaw was clenched and he watched your every move carefully. You were feeling a little better, only eating in small quantities and being forced to drink lots of water (by Grayson). Your appointment wasn’t until 2 in the afternoon, so you had plenty of time to do your morning routine and talk to Grayson. He insisted on staying in the bathroom when you shower and do your skin care.

“Gray, I’m not dying,” you joked lightly.

“Don’t fucking joke like that!” He raised his voice, glaring up at you as he sat on the edge of the top, elbows on his knees with his fingers interlocked. “That’s not fucking funny.” There was anger in his tone, and you realized how insensitive it was of you.

You knelt down in front of him, unlocked his hands and slithering more between his spread knees. He doesn’t look at you as he looks down at the ground between your own knees. “Hey,” you whisper, hands on his broad shoulders, lightly shaking them. “Look at me, please.” When he does, you see the slightest of tears along his waterline. Your heart breaks when his face scrunches up in agony and his eyes shut, his hands immediately covering his face to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Grayson…”

He sniffles into his hands, shaking his head frantically. “I can’t lose you,” he weeped so softly, his voice muffled behind the barrier of his hands. “I can’t fuckin’ lose you the same way I lost my dad. I-I just can’t.” You let him pour out his emotions, all the while holding onto his shoulders and gently pushing his hands away from his face to wipe away his warm tears. The area around his eyes and cheeks were tinged red, his beautiful eyes now turning puffy. “You don’t understand h-how broken I’d be without you, Y/N. It’s like… a piece of me might die.”

“Baby,” you whispered brokenly, shaking your head as you hurriedly pull him into your chest. His head buries itself in the crook of your neck. “I am so so sorry for making that joke, alright? Hey, look at me.” You lift his head up, wiping more of his tears with your thumbs. “I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that everything is okay.” At the sound of your soft whisper, he lets out a quiet and shaky sigh. The thought of now hearing your voice anymore physically hurts his heart. He hesitatingly nods, desperately wanting to believe your words. But looking into your eyes this very moment, seeing the determination and confidence in your face, he has no other choice but to believe you.

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Sitting on the exam table in the cold room that slightly smells of hand sanitizer and wood, you didn’t know what else to think. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess as they tried to unravel itself to form a coherent sentence in your head. Grayson wanted to come in with you, but you had told him to stay in the car, out of fear of him hearing dreadful news. You closed your eyes and breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm the storm that’s beginning to make itself known. What you didn’t hearing was the door opening and the OB-GYN, Dr. Khaleesi, stepping in. She was a lovely Indian woman who was older than you by 20 years. You’ve been coming to her for a year and a half now for your usual STD checkups or any worries you had with your uterus. She was the sweetest woman you’ve come to known and you never felt judged by her.

“Everything alright, Y/N?” She asks as she shuts the door, leaving you both in privacy. She holds the clipboard to her side and sits onto the rolling stool to slide herself closer to you.

“Just nervous,” you laughed awkwardly.

“Well, it’s just me,” she tells you softly, her accent sounding so elegant as she gently pats your knee. “Now, it says on the appointment form that you’re hear for a checkup regarding your period.”

“Yes, um, I’m late on my period - about two weeks now. But I’ve been feeling a lot of cramps and breast tenderness and all the symptoms of starting my period. And I don’t know why,” you sighed and picked at your nails, not sure how to keep still.

“Alright, well, I’m going to be asking you a few simple questions and I want you to answer as honestly as possible,” Dr. Khaleesi tells you. “What day was your last period?”

“The 6th of May.”

“How long does menstrual cycle typically last?”

“Six to seven days, give or take.”

“And are you sexually active?”

You blushed as you thought about Grayson. You hadn’t forgotten the romantic picnic dinner he had set up in the backyard with a large projector hung up. Sitting there under the stars with him, being in such a close proximity to that man always made you feel so nervous. But having his hands on you, his lips on yours, his large and muscular body between your thighs, it made it all worth it. You most certainly didn’t forget how many times he made you orgasm in under an hour. You were thankful that Ethan and Kristina had gone to their own date night for a few hours.

“Y/N?” Dr. Khaleesi’s voice broke you free from your thoughts, causing you to clear your throat out of embarrassment.

“Y-Yes, I’m sexually active,” you softly responded.

Dr. Khaleesi nods and checks off the small YES box beside the question. “And how often do you engage in sexual intercourse?”

“Um, about three to four times a week.” You suddenly burst out into laughter at the surprised look on her face. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she laughs as well. “At least one of us is getting some action, huh?” She laughs again when you cover your face, muffling your small groan. “Back to the questions. When was the last time you were sexually active?”

“I’d say last week, but I’ve been feeling these symptoms for the past two weeks now,” you hesitatingly told her, secretly not wanting to know the cause in order to avoid the dread and heartbreak if something was terminal.

“And what symptoms have you been having?” She asked you, now looking at your expression rather than the clipboard in her hands.

“Um,” you looked up in thought, “Nausea, cramps, breast tenderness, sudden feeling of exhaustion, loss of appetite, and I’ve been peeing a lot more.”

Dr. Khaleesi nods silently, her sudden silence makes you feel incredibly uneasy. You swallow down and exhale a shaky and audible sigh. She gives you a reassuring smile. “Do you mind if I exam your stomach?”

“N-No,” you quietly said and laid back on the cushioned exam table. “Go ahead, please.”

And after hearing your consent, Dr. Khaleesi pulled on some blue latex gloves and hovers her hands over your stomach. You pull up your shirt and pull the cracked skin of your bottom lip with your teeth. She gently presses down in different areas of your stomach, periodically asking, “Does this cause any pain? Discomfort?” And each time, you shook your head. As she was getting to the end of the exam, you went over every single possibility. What if it’s a tumor? What if you’re pregnant? Could it be cancer? Is it internal bleeding? Somehow, you couldn’t find a reason for each possibility to happen. You had no family members with a history of chronic illnesses. And you and Grayson always used protection, never birth control because of the harmful effects to your body. When Dr. Khaleesi was finished with the brief exam, she sighs softly and lays a hand on your shoulder.

“I know why you’re feeling like this, Y/N. And before I tell you, I want you to know that I am here if you ever need advice on how to do this, okay?” She tells you in a reassuring and motherly tone.

“Just tell me,” you whispered, voice cracking as you strong to keep a strong front. But with every second, it slowly disappeared, revealing a vulnerable and terrified woman in front of the doctor. “Please…”

Dr. Khaleesi sighed quietly and licked her red lipstick stained lips. “You’re… pregnant. Presumably one month pregnant.”

If you were standing, you were sure you would’ve dropped to your knees. Your mouth dropped open, trying desperately to form words, but all that came out was a weak squeak. Tears lined your waterline as you shook your head in disbelief.

“N-No, that’s… that’s fucking impossible,” you frantically said, shaking your head even more as you hastily stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. Your hands went to your hair as you paced back and forth. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my, God,” you whispered to yourself, muffling a sob with the back of your hand. “I.. he’s been talking ab-about having kids for-for so long and…” your voice shook between every word. “We’re both so young!”

“We have options, Y/N,” Dr. Khaleesi gently told you as to not scare you if she rose her voice to speak over yours. “There’s abortion-”

“No!” You shouted. “That… That is out of the question. I-I need to talk to him. I need to see where his head is at first, and-and then I can talk to you about… options,” you whispered the last word. You are pro-choice, but you know deep in your heart that you couldn’t terminate this pregnancy. If Grayson thought the opposite, you’re not sure what would happen next.

“Would you like me to schedule your next appointment in one week?” Dr. Khaleesi quietly asks you as she notices the mental battle you’re currently having. “That way you have plenty of time to discuss what you both think, okay?”

You hesitatingly nod and look over at her with an expression that nearly broke her gentle heart. “I-I’m scared, Daksha.”

At the sound of her name exiting your lips, she immediately crosses over and pulls you into a hug. She understands that this may be unprofessional to her bosses and what other patients may see as inappropriate, but she would never let a terrified woman feel alone.

“You are going to be okay, child,” she tells you quietly, one hand wrapped around your shoulders as the other lightly pats the back of your head. “Whatever you decide, I will help you along the way, okay? Do not forget that.”

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CURRENT TAGLIST

@etherealdols @certainaesthetic

[blush-and-books]

i’m sorry, but i fell in love tonight

short fic based off of this gifset by @juliesmolinas and the song is there somewhere by halsey. in fact it is mandatory that you listen to the song/read the lyrics/both before/during reading this. yes i said mandatory.

angst with a sappy ending, julie goes through a lifetime of emotions in less than 3k, was originally gonna write when i was in a more emotionally raw state but writing this made me emotionally raw so... enjoy <3

warnings: swearing

Julie made the promise at some point -- she just doesn’t know exactly when.

It may have been when he appeared at her school, all shy smiles and soft glances, professing that she made him a better writer. Or, more definitively, it could have been when she forlornly pulled him into her arms a moment before she was positive that she was to lose him forever. 

All that she knew was her time with Luke was fleeting. So she swore that her butterfly-wing crush was not allowed to fill her chest or dizzy her thoughts; that his lyrics would mean nothing more next to hers than words on a page and his touches would bring her little to no comfort.

Luke Patterson could not complete her. 

The universe wouldn’t allow it -- and neither would Julie Molina. 

But -- either Luke was blissfully unaware of their impending doom or he genuinely didn’t care -- he forced himself through every barrier she attempted to erect. And it was driving her nearly insane, because she made a promise to protect herself. 

Maybe she wasn’t strong enough to do it. Or maybe the universe, despite refusing to give Julie Luke in his entirety, did not want her to be protected. 

It was all in the little things-

When she stayed up with him in the garage, playing him all of the songs he’s missed in 25 years, and he danced around on the slippery floor in his socks and grinned at her with wide green eyes. The neon emerald in the dim light was reminiscent of driving on the highway and passing sign after sign leading to the exits she could have taken, but couldn’t bring herself to.

How New Years Eve arrived and the Molina family gathered in the driveway to light sparklers; Luke’s hand brushing hers as he passed off one of the two in his hands. 

In his head lulling onto her shoulder while she was trying to finish some homework with his help on the torn couch and his lips moving against her bare skin  as he mumbled that she needed to take a break before driving herself insane; followed by her braiding her hair to get it out of her face.

She already had driven herself insane -- but not over her homework. 

(His mouth on her shoulder was the answer to a prayer she never dared to murmur aloud.)

Luke never failed to be present when he was needed. If she was sick or stressed or depressed, he knew when to fuse to her side and when to offer some space. Through careful observation rather than conversation, he knew which of her many sweatshirts were reserved for illness or emotional support. 

In most of those situations, she needed him, too. Her fingernails would curl into his biceps through a cramp or wave of tears and he would wrap her in his embrace and swarm her with warm words that dried her eyes.

She hated it.

When they wrote music, it felt as though they were already reading each other's minds before either of them had spoken a word about their plans. Their journals contained inky black waterfalls spilled from an intimacy that Julie did not want to dissect. 

Again, she hated it. She loved it more than anything and hated that she loved it all -- because it could never be real. 

She would always play second fiddle to death. 

Julie made the promise to herself to not let Luke complete her because, while she had him for now, the night of the Orpheum was a reminder that the universe would not hesitate to snap it’s fingers and eliminate him from existence. 

The universe, being the confusing, stubborn bitch it is, just didn’t get the memo on that promise. 

Because Luke filled every crack and restored every gap in her being, and he shouldn’t.

The hopeless, pining romantic in her that constantly argued with her realist side said they were meant to meet. Even if it was brief and heartbreaking and had the power to hurt her in a way she didn’t understand, it had to happen. If it wasn’t supposed to happen, then how and why did he cross space and time only to fall at her feet?

(Soulmates, a taunting voice whispered. Soulmates.)

((The voice was locked in a closet as punishment.))

She didn’t want to entertain the word. It had too much of a forlorn, wistfully romantic sound to it that Julie didn’t need to associate with Luke when she spent most moments with him at this point convincing herself that she wasn’t in love.

Until tonight.

It is past midnight, which is when anyone’s mental state starts to alter. Things that would be labelled as bad ideas in the daylight could very possibly become fair game when shrouded in a darkness that made everything private. The two of them, Luke and Julie, Julie and Luke, are nestled together on the piano bench as her fingers tiredly press each cut of ivory in a working melody.

“I have an idea,” Luke says, gently shifting his left hand to cover hers on the keys. “Why don’t we press pause on this song for a minute?”

Then, she finally looks up at him. Her eyes probably have crescents like the dark side of the moon crossing her skin, and her hair is all over the place, but he’s staring at her in one of the rare ways that she hates.

She hates it because the look convinces her that she completes him.

This time, however, there’s a hope. A hope, and a hesitance, and she’s simultaneously extremely nervous and beyond curious as to what his plans are. 

“Did- Didn’t you want to finish this tonight?” 

Regret strikes across his face, but he recovers. The softness is back. “Yeah, I just think we need a change of pace.” Right hand on the back of his neck: A telltale sign of a confession of some kind. She’s seen it more times than is healthy. “There was another song I wanted to show you, actually.”

“Oh.” She blinks, he waits. “Yeah, uh, I mean, yeah. Show me. What do you have so far?” He clears his throat as he thrums through the pages to find his target. “The whole thing.”

Julie doesn’t have time to react -- although she’s already in a panic -- before the leather-bound book is being awkwardly shoved into her hands, and the first thing she sees at the top is Luke’s nearly illegible scribble of Dark Room (song for Julie).

“Luke-”

“Just read it.” His voice is significantly raspier than it was a minute ago. “Please.”

She can’t. If he feels the same way and the confession is undeniably in front of her, then what is she supposed to do? Would she rather break Luke’s heart now to save them both down the line, or delay the misery a little longer?

It’s not that she doesn’t want it -- she does. But she doesn’t know if she’s emotionally equipped for any of the options that are offered to her. The destination of any path she chooses leads to a world of heartache.

So, she does the only thing she can think in the moment: She reads the song.

Instantly, the lyrics are blurred from the tears in her eyes because she sees the words “love” and “together” and her greatest fears and grandest wishes are coming true. The sonnet proclaims that she’s his light that illuminated his once-dark forever, and that he was hers when they didn’t even know each other, and that he will be hers wherever he ends up next.

He just wanted her to know that he would have waited another lifetime in the blank, limitless limbo he was in for 25 years if he knew she would be there when he was set free.

And, in the moment, Julie allows herself to acknowledge that her promise is broken.

She’s fallen in love. 

And, apparently, he has too.

(Maybe they can claim just one night. The universe owes them that much, doesn’t it?)

“Julie?” God, he sounds so worried. A shaking finger trails up her jaw to catch falling tears, and his contact makes her gasp. He pulls away and shoves his hands together to fidget in his lap. “Julie, are you- Fuck, I’m sorry, I just fucked this up, didn’t I? I fucked it all up. Fuck, I-”

When she chances a look up at him for the first time in the couple of minutes that she’s been staring, hopelessly, at the song in her lap -- he’s got his face covered by his hands pressing roughly into his eyes, and he’s turned to face the piano instead of her.

He takes a deep breath, and it sounds… 

Stuffy. 

Three more tears leak from Julie’s eyes. More build up every minute as her right hand runs along his shoulder, “Luke…”

“No, Julie, please just drop it.”

“Luke.”

“I clearly misread a lot of stuff, and I’m tired, so maybe you can just go to bed and forget-”

Her hand wraps tightly around his upper arm like it’s done so many times when she has been in distress. “Luke.”

There’s a crack in her voice from sheer desperation. She needs him to look at her, so that she can wipe his tears and smile through the sobs and tell him he didn’t misread a single thing. She would wait a lifetime for him to come out of the dark room, she loves him too, and she’s going to forget all about it. 

And ask him to do the same.

At least the scratch of his name catches his attention long enough, because he angles back towards her, and swallows thickly before meeting her eyes. Salty teardrops linger against his eyelids and eyelashes; the red rimming illuminating the oceanic green to look like a gemstone. Her grip relaxes.

“Yeah, Julie?”

She attempts a smile. “The song is beautiful, Luke. I love it.”

I love you.

“That’s it? It’s beautiful, and you love it, but you don’t… I’m not in your dreambox, huh?”

He clearly hasn’t dug through it in awhile. He’s everywhere. Discarded guitar picks and notes he’s left in her school journals and plenty, plenty of songs.

It’s funny, because she told him her dreambox was for things that didn’t make her sad. Luke was a double-edged sword -- making her happy every day in a new way, and making her cry into her pillow at night.

How does she explain this? There’s a whirlwind of responses running through her brain and she can barely coherently comprehend any of them. 

“No,” she finds herself sighing as she raises her hand to his cheek, followed by her other hand so that he can’t try and turn away. “No, Luke, no… You’re wrong.”

“What do you mean ‘I’m wrong?’”

Her bottom lip starts to shake. “You think I don’t love you back.”  Both of them feel their breath catch at her use of the word out loud. It feels like a secret that shouldn’t be repeated. “And you’re wrong.”

“... I’m wrong.”

“Of course you’re wrong! You really think I don’t love you back?”

“Why are you crying if you love me?”

“Because we can’t do this!”

He scoffs, and Julie’s heart is racing in her chest as he pushes himself off of the piano bench and her hands fall from his face. What has she done?

“That’s bull, Julie.” His fingertips tug at his hair. “You don’t need to make a big dramatic show to convince me it’s wrong just to let me down easy. You aren’t going to talk me out of this.” Dead-on, he stops pacing back and forth, and looks her in the eye. “I love you.”

Listening to him say it, the way his mouth moves and his voice ticks with conviction at each syllable, is what makes her break. 

“And I love you too.” 

He reels back. He probably wasn’t expecting her voice to raise from their odd, in-between whisper and normal volume.

“But don’t you get it? Luke, we aren't in some magical place where we can meet each other in the middle. A place like that doesn’t exist. You’re dead, and I’m alive, and any future here ends with both of us losing each other.” 

“Julie-”

“You said you would wait another lifetime, right?” Using his own lyrics against him. She watches his hands twitch before nodding; the movements of his head barely visible. “Then wait. Another lifetime, another two -- the fucking universe clearly didn’t want us to have this one, so we’re stuck waiting for the next one.”

Even through his clear and fighting need to argue, to talk with her about this, he stiffly nods his head. It’s obvious that she has thought way too much about this from the way she’s barely choking out each word before crumbling into tears before his eyes -- but then again, he’s thought about it too. 

Callused hands are running along her neck to tilt her face up out of the blue. She was too busy crying to notice that he had crossed the distance between them to stand right in front of her and assure that she was meeting his eyes.

“Luke-”

“No, Julie, it’s my turn. Please.”

She won’t argue with him. So, with a tender swipe of his thumbs under her eyes, he proceeds.

“Look, I get it. You think I don’t get it? I fucking hate being dead, for so many reasons, Julie. But if I never died, I never would have met you.” Her lips part, and maybe he thinks she’s going to protest because he smoothly lifts a finger in front of her lips that barely makes contact. 

(Julie almost presses her lips into it.)

“And you’re right. I wish there was somewhere that we could meet in the middle, but we don’t have that. I wish so many things, Julie. But none of them involve a life where I don’t have you.”

She whimpers, because listening to the man that normally chains his emotions in a cage bare his soul to her at nearly one in the morning is a seriously more out-of-body experience than she expected. She knew, deep down, that she loved him. But she never allowed herself to feel the all-encompassing warmth that she feels now.

“But hey, Julie, look at me,” he coaxes her with a tone that drips with affection. The pads of his fingers are nearly kneading into the back of her neck. “Like you said: The universe didn’t want to give us this lifetime. They couldn’t let us have all the fun, right?” Both of them let out a watery chuckle. “But they still brought me to you, didn’t they? They let me know you in this lifetime, even if we couldn’t have forever. I said I would be yours wherever I am. So even if this,” he gestures to his ghostly form, “isn’t forever, even if we don’t have this lifetime… You know I’ll love you forever, right?”

It was a monologue straight from one of her dreams that left her waking up with a manic smile and tears running down her face. 

Unable to form any other response besides an unaware nod, Julie waits for him to continue.

“And maybe, the universe will give us the next lifetime, or a whole new universe, or… Just somewhere where we can get forever.” 

Abruptly, his hands slide from her neck and grasp her hands like he needs to hold on firmly enough to believe that she’s still real in front of him. Julie is still speechless and teary, and in the most sentimental gesture, Luke kisses the back of both of her hands. 

“We’ll get forever, Julie.” His warm breath puffs against her skin. “I promise you.”

And, well, if he promises forever in the next life -- then why can’t she take what she can get in this one?

--

tags: @bluefirewrites @willexx @unsaid-emily @lydias--stiles @moreflowersthanweeds @pink-flame 

[scottfuckingreed]

It’s a Pogue Thing - Part Three

This is a JJ Maybank story

-

Warnings!: swearing and mentions of abuse

-

     I wake up alone. Not only without JJ, but also without Kiara. I’m confused until I smell it... breakfast? It can’t be. Throwing myself out of bed, I dress myself and prepare myself for the brightness outside this room. “Ah there she is!” John B smiles. Before I can even react. a bit of toast bounces off of my head. All I can do is shut my eyes. I’m not even a fully functioning human yet. “Thanks,” I slide my feet across the floor, all the way to the couch. “Nice sleep?” Kiara chuckles, handing me an ‘in tact’ piece of toast. “It was alright.” I shrug. Internally I feel giddy. “You looked like you were pretty deep into it,” she adds. I was. She’s absolutely right. “I bet she was,” the husky morning voice of JJ erupts as he comes out of the bathroom. “Especially after last night.” His words get linked with a wink, followed by my heart stopping. “Yeah I’m sorry about that guys...” I flash my eyes straight over to John B. I’m definitely overthinking everything. Why would anyone even think JJ and I would ever? We wouldn’t. I guess that’s not true anymore. Either way, I’m fully awake now. “I didn’t realize it would be such a dead end.” Kiara’s hand cups John B’s shoulder in attempt to comfort. The blend of pain and disappointment in his voice was radiating through him. I wish there was another way; an easier way. “We just need to look closer. I’m sure there’s something,” I lie. “Are we sure there’s anything to find at all?” I throw my bread at the jackass. “JJ!” Ki follows. “You’re just pissed ‘cause I’m being honest. I’m sorry John, but what are we going on again?” I decide to stay quiet. “It doesn’t hurt to look again-” “You guys do what you want.”

     Not fully sure why, I rush my shoes on and follow the boy storming away. I feel somewhat protective over him. It’s a strange feeling. “JJ! Wait!” I call, jogging to catch up with him. He hardly slows. The anger was pretty much radiating off of his body. “If you’re here to-” “I’m here because I agree with you,” he pauses and frowns. “Even if there’s nothing, we still have to try.” Saying those words aloud feels like betrayal. I wish I had the guts to say what I thought, just like JJ, but there’s a time and a place. And both of those were wrong in that moment. “It’s false hope.” His words are blunt. “I know,” I whisper. I smooth my hair back with my hands. “You- he needs this JJ.” As he nods, he rolls his eyes. “He’s my best friend Y/N-” “I know JJ, but you just need to be a little more sensitive.” Once again, he rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just can’t lie to him,” shrugging, I realize this will continue to go in circles. “Fine,” I give up. A little frustrated, I turn around and start walking back to John B’s. “Where are you going?” I turn around quickly. I can’t help but frown at him. Like a dog, I tilt my head slightly to the side. “I thought we could grab some breakfast?” “I- what?” “I can tell you’re pissed.” Wow. Is it that obvious? I guess I don’t hide my emotions very well. “We ate at John’s...” I don’t know if I want to eat with him right now. “No. I didn’t eat, and you threw yours at me. Come on,” he nods and walks away from me. That’s it? And of course I follow him. I can’t not. 

     The walk was too quiet. It wasn’t necessarily awkward, but it had the ‘do I speak now or not’ vibe. When we get to a table in a small cafe, I sit opposite him slowly. “You can’t be that mad at me...” He chuckles slightly. Then comes the smirk. I didn’t know a look could do so many things to a person. It makes me want to slap him so bad. It also just makes me smile. “I’ll buy the food?” He tempts. “Do I even want to know where you get your money from?” The top and bottom lip press together on the boy’s face. “Probably not, you’re a good girl,” he winks. 

     Food. The boy truly knows me. So once that glorious breakfast spread was displayed in front of me - those exquisite eggs, the beautiful bacon, that tasty ass toast - he was forgiven. No grudges. I don’t even remember why I was even annoyed at him. “Wow,” is all I can express. Only a very small number of things can make me speechless. This is at the top of that list. “I know, I’m amazing,” he nods with a smug look on his face. Even when he’s joking about it, he always looks incredibly pleased with himself. I wish I had his confidence... or arrogance. Which either one it is, it works for him. Which is an utter shame. 

     We both indulged in every bite. Our plates looked both new and pristine. I am entirely and completely stuffed, and yet - if someone offered it to me - I could probably eat more. Although, I would definitely be sick. “That was so fucking good,” I let out in a ‘little too sexual’ of a moan. “That’s hot,” he informs me. God he’s so annoying. “Don’t even try it, JJ,” I wave my fork towards him. My threat just causes his to smirk. “So, what do you wanna do now?” A pleading smile gleams across his face. It’s not like me to give in to such tendencies. I just cannot seem to help it when it comes to JJ. “You don’t wanna go back to your boyfriend’s?” I tease. “Not really,” he shrugs. “I need a break from all that crime shit for today.” I don’t blame him. I hate to say it, but it brings an awkward and depressing atmosphere. I do feel bad for John B, but it’s too much if it’s all the time. A break, as selfish as it sounds, is what I need for today.

      As I stand up from my seat, my eyes immediate lock to the next customers walking through the door. Topper and Rafe. All I can think to do is sit back down. Just before my body starts zoning out, I hear JJ’s voice. “What are you doing?” He laughs in confusion. I haven’t been very open about mine and Rafe’s ‘relationship’ at all. I hate to even call it that. They know that he was a dick, which is the biggest understatement of the century, and they know we had a pretty awful break up. That’s it. At least I wish that was it. 4 months isn’t long enough to heal after... him. It’s just not. He’s mentally, emotionally, and literally physically everywhere. I nod my head, hinting at him to turn around. “Ah.” Is all he says. Rafe sends an obvious smirk to Topper, before making a straight line towards me and JJ. “Hey beautiful,” my skin crawls at his words. He makes me so angry, but I struggle to find the words to say. “What do you want Rafe?” I let out in a harsh tone. I wish I could scream at him, and just call him out on every single thing, but I can’t. Fuck. “Just here for something to eat,” he raises his eyebrows and smirks, placing a heavy hand on JJ’s shoulder. He doesn’t even budge, just lets an annoyed smile spread across his face. Topper chuckles at his best friend’s revolting sexual innuendo. “Why are you such a little bitch?” JJ nudges Topper on his side. It was just a poke, but it sent Topper moving. “What did you just call me?” Topper moves back towards him. JJ shoots up out of his chair. “You heard me, I don’t think you can move much further up his ass,” I press my lips together, trying not to laugh. “Can we just go?” His eyes just stare into Topper’s, while Rafe looks proudly at his boy. “JJ...” I wrap my hand around his forearm and pull slightly. “Fine.” Just as I get the boy to move away from the scene, Rafe decides to make the comment, “Who’s the bitch now?!” As you can expect, JJ does a 180 and darts back towards the two assholes. A fist hits my ex’s face. 

“God JJ,” I raise my voice slightly at the boy, sucking in my sad emotions. If anything I’m annoyed at myself for not being to stick up for myself. It’s just so hard to see him, let alone hear his voice. And to communicate with him? It feels almost impossible. “Why are you annoyed at me?” He snaps. “I’m not, I just wish you’d know when to leave things alone,” I roll my eyes. “I’m not your bitch Y/N.” I ignore him. I know he’s not. I realise I am probably projecting my frustration out now, and taking it out on someone who is very easy to argue with. “No, you don’t even fucking listen to me.” I speed up my walk. There are several things I need to do; breathe is the first one, then probably punch something or someone, then cry. Crying sounds like a plan. Footsteps inch closer and closer behind me. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just-” “I know.” I stop him. If he asks that question, the question I have avoided since the break up, I will break down. Fragile is an understatement. I’m like a bird with a broken wing, or a dried out twig ready to snap. One little gush of wind and I’m done. I will break. “Did something else happen, with you and Rafe?”

flashback

I made a joke. That’s it. I was caught up in the moment, and made a joke that he didn’t find funny. I could tell. He didn’t shout. He didn’t even raise his voice. He just stayed silent. His face just dropped. He’s pissed. He’s pissed at me. There was no retaliation, solely because his friends were around. Topper was there. There were other’s there. Now there’s not. I’m fucked. 

“Look, Rafe, I didn’t mean-” “You didn’t mean it? All you do it fucking embarrass me! You always mean it!” He shouts. The rasp in his voice startles me, and instantly pushes the tears out of my eyes. I’m scared. I’m scared of him. I’m scared for me. “I was just joking around, I-I-I-I” I stutter. The words pause as I get pushed against the counter. The harsh corner stabs into my back, making me fall to the floor in pain. I sit quietened by the wind being pushed out of my body. My mouth stays wide in agonizing pain, but my scream is silent. There’s no weep. There’s not a cry. Just tears falling down my now heated cheeks. I take a deep inhale of breath. I have no strength, emotional or physical, to get myself off of the floor. I can’t... Not on my own. Rafe’s face sits in the sight of my blurred eyes, as he places himself in front of me. “I don’t know why you always do this baby,” his fingers, which were previously on harsh hands, caress my chin softly. A thumb wipes my tears. Instead of pushing him away like I should, I nuzzle my hand into his hand. I’ve made enough mistakes tonight. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. A set of lips go to my forehead. 

“Y/N...” A soft voice snaps me back to reality. That was early days. It wasn’t even bad then. I cough slightly. How awkward. “Did he hurt you?” He asks, in a tone I don’t know if I’ve ever heard JJ use. It was gentle and careful, and had meaning behind it. Despite JJ being an idiot, I trust JJ with my life. Literally. But this... I can’t tell anybody about it. Not a soul. “He broke my heart JJ,” honestly, I’m not sure if I lied to JJ or not. I don’t ever remember loving that guy. I must’ve. 

We head back to John B’s. Everyone other than Pope was still there. John was looking at the research his father gathered, and combining it with the little amount we’ve managed to find. Ki was cleaning his shitty place up. She’s way to good to that boy sometimes. Somehow, no matter how many times it gets cleaned, it’s always a huge mess. “Where did you guy’s go?” Luckily, with the long-ish walk back, we no longer look stressed. “We got breakfast,” I throw myself onto the couch. John B looks up from his pages and raises his eyebrows. “You never take me to breakfast!” He throws his hand over his heart, clearly in pain. “You’re not as good company as me John, just accept it.” “Did you pay for it?” Kiara asks. I immediately sit up, snapping my head to the boy as I realise. “You little thief,” JJ says before I can even speak. “No I-” “Damn Y/N, I must be rubbing off on you, finally.”

[ejm513]

FAIRY TAIL NEXT GEN CHILDREN-GRUVIA EDITION

 NALU

1-I know there is now a cannon child for edo Nalu and edo Gruvia with names and everything. I also know that Gajeel and Levy have twins and Levy is currently pregnant in 100 Years Quest.  I love it and their names and everything about those precious babies-but I’ve had these ideas and characters and backstories growing and developing in my head for years so I’m being the stubborn Taurus that I am and sticking with it.

2-Also please forgive any misspellings and grammar mistakes as I am dyslexic and my school failed us at teaching spelling and grammar. I did my best.

Hello my lovelies!! 

So I’ve spent most of the day working on the first two ships and editing everything so I figured why not just post the second one right away. 

And the next ship we’re doing on this crazy journey is my personal favorite my OTP to end all OTPS 

GRUVIA!!

Ah yes people... I’m in my happy place. 

THE FULLBUSTERS:

  Nicolai Sliver Fullbuster- Nicknames- Nick, Nicky, Nicky Bear (gotta love little sisters)

Birthday: March 15th, 797 (Bonus points if anyone gets the reference :P)

Magic: Ice Make Magic

Appearance:

-Height: 5’10 (same height as Gray)

-Hair: Dark and thick like Grays, slightly wavy curiosity of his mother.

-Eye color: Dark blue and large like he’s mother’s.

-Built like his father.

-He and Gray are the closest to clones.  

IMPORTANT FACTS:

-Gray doesn’t want his boy to deal with the consequences of being a demon slayer… so he doesn’t teach him how to be one. At least not completely. He does pass on some techniques and skills but nothing more.

-For example he teaches him Ice Make Sliver. 

-He got the name Nikolai Sliver from both of his grandfathers-I chose a Russian name because I have this idea in my head that in the real world Juvia would be Russian and nothing can convince me otherwise.

-Though he got over it eventually poor thing hated the cold and having to strip in the snow.

-He too got the illness Ultrear had, and while he didn’t get through it as easily as the Dragnell children he got through it in the end.  

And before anyone ask yes… he stripes.

Personality:

-Kind

-Loyal (but maybe not to a fault)

-Laid back like his father

-A little moody and temperamental at times

-Can be a bit reserved but more or less wears his heart on his sleeve like Juvia.

-Very imaginative like his mother… which sometimes lead him to being a little ditzy and spacy.

-Very loving

-Very protective of those he loves

-Definitely inherited Juvia’s possessiveness-when his sister was being introduced to the guild for the first time after she was born he grabbed hold of her little blanket, stood in front of her and said

“No! She’s MY baby sister!!”

-Gray QUICKLY helped him get it under control

-A huge romantic like Juvia…like MAJOR romantic. He even enjoys reading her romance novels (but don’t you dare tell anyone)

-He also enjoys drawing, doing anything in the snow and ice

-Very intelligent and did well in school-given his magic he was particularly skilled in art. No one understands how he managed to do so well in school because his note books are covered in doodles

-In general just a much more open and expressive person than his father or sister, much more like his mother.

Relationships:

-Extremely close with both of his parents-the Fullbusters are known for having a very close knit and loving family.

-Like almost every boy in this generation he is a total mama’s boy and you better not call him out on it.

-Also idolizes his father and wants to be just like him

-Absolutely adores his little sister is very gentle and sweet with her. He’s extremely protective of her  and one of the only four people he can be a little possessive over (the others being Lila and his parents).However, she can get on his nerves because like most little siblings she follows him everywhere and wants to do everything with him. Plus they can both be temperamental and stubborn. They are also so much alike yet express themselves in such different ways that it causes clashes.  As a result, they bicker the most out of any of the siblings in the next gen-but their fights never, EVER turn physical. But the bottom line is they are exceptionally close-so close in fact they are one of the only pairs in the next gen that can successfully pull of a Unison Raid.

-Real he just wants Eliza to stop calling him Nicky Bear… in public at least.

-The first of his two best friends is Simon Scarlet. At first it was a matter of convenience because he was the only boy in the guild close to her age, but it didn’t take too long to become genuine friends. They love to bond over their love of sweets. The other of course is Lila.

And naturally Happy… Happy is everyone’s best friend

-He has loved Lila pretty much his entire life-before he even understood what that feeling was. When he learned what the concept of marriage, he knew right away she was the one he was going to marry. As stated before he constantly referred to her as his wife as children and when they were older (like almost 20 or older than 20) he would say “You know I’m going to marry you one day Dragnell right?”

Elizaveta/ Eliza/ Liza Ur Fullbuster

   Birthday: November 23rd, 801

Magic: Water.

Appearance:

Height: 5’2 (a couple of inches shorter than Juvia who is 5’4 according to the Wiki)

Hair: Long, thick and wavy like Juvia’s, dark like Gray’s

Eyes: Juvia’s shape but dark like Gray’s

-She has the same gifted build as Juvia, but somehow a little more fragile looking

-Has her father’s smile

-Yes that beautiful beautiful smile 

-Has heard from Gray that despite her strong resemblance to her mother something about her reminds him of his mother

IMPORTANT FACTS:

-Elizaveta or Eliza Ultear got her name from Juvia’s mother and obviously Ultear. Eliza is what she goes by and only those closest with her call her Liza

-Eliza was born five weeks early and this caused… problems. She was extremely sick as a baby. She ended up becoming dyslexic. Finally, it messed with her powers. She has water powers like her mother, but because she was born so early they are technically incomplete because her body isn’t completely made of water like Juvia. This means she’s not impervious to physical attacks, but she makes up for it in other ways.

-Due to being born early and being a little sickly, when she got that infamous illness all the children in the next gem see to get Ultear’s illness (I have no idea what else to call it) she got hit the worse. She actually came close to dying and Gray and Juvia were told to expect the worst.

-Because of this, despite obviously being a skilled and well trained wizard, Eliza is more known for her emotion strength and endurance rather than her physical strength (at least until she was almost an adult)

-Is definitely no ice wizard and can’t stand the cold, but did learn some tricks including how to freeze her rain into snow or freezing rain.

And yes… she is absolutely forbidden to strip under any and all circumstances unless she doesn’t want to see the outside world until she’s 30 or until Gray is dead… which ever comes first

Personality:

-Massive, huge heart of gold

-Very sweet

-Very shy and introverted

-Extremely reserved, keeps everything close to her chest like her father

-Appears laid back but is a ball of emotion and anxiety and occasional bouts of depression

-Comes off as an ethereal, sweet, Mary Jane type of dainty princess when she is anything but

-Actually, has a very snarky, sarcastic sense of humor a la Gray and is just funny like her mother.

-Is never willing to start a fight but if you push her enough she follows the same line of thought as Lila;

-Is very stubborn, moody and temperamental at times

-Very ambitious and always smiling despite everything that’s happened to her.

-Is quiet laid back with her language when she’s older and has been known to swear.

-Is also great at impressions.

-Has Juvia’s quiet astounding imagination and is definitely a dreamer.

-Is a HUGE romantic, openly reading her mother’s romance novels. Otherwise she’s very good at hiding it… mostly.

-Exceptionally smart but struggles with math and is a slow reader because of her dyslexia. She excels in history and music.

-I have a head cannon that Juvia can sing because of all the hydration she gets from having a water body, mermaids/sirens luring sailors with their voices and because apparently Juvia’s voice actress can sing. So Eliza inherited that gift but never sings on stage for the public.

 RELATIONSHIPS:

-Because of how sickly she has always been, and because she was the first girl born to the guild a string of boys, and because of how bad she’s treated by kids at school, Eliza is utterly spoiled and a little coddled by all. No on one minds though because she never acts spoiled. She just loves having such a safe and warm space to fall.

-Like her brother is super close to her parents.

-Juvia is her rock and the pair are inseparable.

-She is also daddy’s littler girl though don’t you ever get her to admit it. They love joking around with each other and just talking.

-She adores and idolizes her big brother-her Nicky Bear. She always wanted to follow him around and do what he did-which after a certain point would get on his nerves. She also sometimes get annoyed with how protective he can be. They can both be a little possessive over each other and their parents.  As mentioned before they have many of the same personality traits but express them in different ways, so they bicker a lot. But in the end she would be lost without him.

-Like her mother Eliza was unfortunately bullied badly by kids outside the guild and even more unfortunate a few kids in the guild. So her three closest friends are Lila Dragnell, Hazel Redfox and much to her chagrin Iggy Dragnell.

-Iggy is the only person who can flare her temper on the daily and who she has fought with-he never fights with more than words but from time to time she will blast him with water just to get him to leave her alone. He is more or less the annoying younger brother she never asked for but similar to her own brother would be lost without him.

-And before you ask no she has not and will never have a crush or any romantic feelings for Iggy… but Simon Scarlet on the other hand….

-Has a love hate relationship with Happy after he was flying her around ounce and dropped her from pretty high up which gave her a fear of heights.

 All right my lovelies!! That is it for this round! I’ll be back soon... hopefully with the next ship!!! 

GAJEELX LEVY!!! 

[nc7dr3am]

IF LILY DATED...

HI this is a long post. the idea for this was inspired by my favorite @delicatejisung who also has an nct dream oc that you MUST follow. also i know the edit sucks. also also i write very light nsfw stuff in this. like mentions but no smut cuz i don’t do that. HOWEVER there are no nsfw mentions w jisung. ik teens do whatever and lily is only a year older than him but 1.) i will not do that because he is still a minor and 2.) they just aren’t like that together. they don’t need it

THIS IS ALL HYPOTHETICAL NONE OF IT IS OFFICIALLY CANON. lmk which ones sound cute cuz even tho it’s not gonna happen .. lilno and chenlil might have stolen my heart

mark:

you can bet they’d be so completely in love with each other

very sweet, very romantic

“baby” “babe”

in front of the camera they’re normal, the same amount of affection as usual, oftentimes less

lily, when mark is talking or being unintentionally attractive: *bites bottom lip, looks up a little, seems like she’s trying not to smile*

he does his rap in mfal to her randomly and it’s cringey and funny but he does it to make her smile because he knows it’s her fav title track

when she sings he smiles so wide because in his opinion. there is no sound more beautiful than her voice

they talk to each other so well. like. they can sit for HOURS just talking and it never gets old to them

writes genuine love letters to her but will cringe and hate himself if he gives them to her until she gets teary and smiles

her basically giving him book reports about the books she reads and he literally falls more in love with her when she’s screaming about the novels because she is so PASSIONATE

her falling asleep in the practice rooms or studio late at night because she INSISTS on staying with him

and when he kisses her he likes to tilt her chin up with his hand of holds both sides of her face

hyuck taking credit for the whole relationship

she has a collage of polaroids of them, of him (including some of the ones from qtah) that are separate from her other photos of friends (she has a lot)

mark has a few polaroids of her that he keeps by his bed and he always smiles when he sees them

HE 10000% WRITES SONGS FOR HER AND SHOWS HER BUT HES REALLY NONCHALANT ABOUT IT

she never calls him oppa (even a bit before they start dating tbh)

when she has to do sexy performances or just acts sexy you will 100% find mark at his most awkward

they will have fun doing ANYTHING they’ll be happy through anything if they’re together

they could go through five watermelons in a day

konglish all the time. and getting excited/thinking something is funny and jumping and screaming

“can i have your netflix password, lils?” “mark you’re literally richer than me and still use all of my accounts”

her getting embarrassed by him and giggling

she will continue her campaign to get mark to play spiderman

lazy days making music, him watching her cook, binge watching american reality shows she likes, and literally just days where theyfe in bed and make out and talk and make out

shopping trips all the time

they love to do activities together. like, they’ll go places and try new things

she’s desperate to visit his home and his family

and they have their ideal life planned. like. if they weren’t idols they’d get an apartment together. they wanna have some pets together. they have trips they’d like to go on together

they grew up together, they’ve loved each other for years, they’ve been pillars of support

but as much as they’ve loved each other they grew to be IN love with each other

but teased by every unit especially 127. wbk.

they’re more.. private than the others. they’re alone together a lot and don’t overdo it in front of the others

SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3

ummm so like. vanilla for the most part even tho lily is a bit more ✨wild✨

oh um. ass grabs. when they’re alone but. constantly

when they get comfy with each other (read: when mark finds confidence and is comfy) he will always have his hands on her ass

even just resting there

mirror selfies with his hand on her ass

if he can’t touch her ass, it’s always a hand on her thigh

very affection when alone together, moderate when they’re with others

he likes to lay on her stomach and she loves when he lays on her shirtless

so many days where they just lay in bed together, tangled in lily’s blankets, music playing in the background, lazy makeout sessions... need i go on? CUTE SHIT

mark isn’t great at expressing his emotions publicly, and they hold so much of their relationship just between them. they both always know how much they love each other

renjun:

so they’re SOFT

song covers together

she tries to learn mandarin but. she ends up getting frustrated that she can’t get it and renjun kisses it better

he tells her the wrong words in mandarin a lot and it has fucked her over a lot, especially in lives

“oppa, how do you say ‘i bought that shirt for renjun?’”

*in mandarin* “i am in love with renjun”

they’d be a bit more obvious about their feelings, a bit more touchy

when they confess, they’re together right away, no questions asked. they literally need each other

sleepovers every night and they’re generally really cozy

lily reading, renjun drawing, a movie playing on her laptop that they aren’t paying too much attention to

renjun has specific articles of clothing he puts aside in his closet because he KNOWS she’s gonna take those specific ones

he is very into giving her flowers and little gifts

shes asked him to give her mf art lessons LMAO

ended with them covering each other in paint and making a MESS

they’re silly together, they’re the couple who knows how to cook but starts playing with the ingredients and makes a mess

they leave sticky notes for each other everywhere

lily jumping into his arms

constant pecks on the lips. the dreamies are sick of it. so sick of it.

deep talks late at night

lily being funny and having a box of his stuff in her room even though they live in the same place

nomin threatening renjun

but then lily fourth wheeling with them all

somehow they become even more of a savage duo

when they make eye contact while performing they’ll make faces at each other

he turns the koala joke into her pet name

so he calls her koala and she calls him a pain in her ass

SOFT KISSES he always cups one side of her face

he braids her hair a lot or does cute little styles

lots of cafe dates

will KILL any of the others if they wake her up when she’s sleeping

the type of romance that’s sappy but also they can most definitely roast each other

she likes to wrestle him LMAOO

the way they’re basically chenji’s babysitters is SO FUNNY it started to happen a lot right after they got together

they want to adopt a puppy and name him moomin

SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3

okay so it’s kinda.. more hesitant and sometimes she takes the lead more than he does

their make out sessions are more heated but don’t always lead to something

like the way it’s going youd THINK it’d be something, but then they just decide to watch a movie and go to bed

he really likes her neck and collarbones but can’t do much to her neck because yknow they’re idols

there’s almost no insecurity in their relationship

it’s very relaxed and loving, and everyone around them can see and feel the love

jeno:

a bit unexpected

a ✨whirlwind romance✨

lilno? more like lilmino because jaemin is always there

a part of her was genuinely sad that she broke up nomin and everyone looks at her like she’s crazy

torn between her love for him and letting him go if jaemin confessed

they can be a bit more obvious in front of fans than the others, because for some reason there isn’t much suspicion there

in front of czennies he lowkey flexes and picks her up over his shoulder a lot, has his arm around her a lot, and they wink at each other from across the set

he holds her waist a lot, and he’s super protective

but also the !! softness !!

have literally been walked in on several times of them just peppering each other with kisses and laughing and its literally lowkey a movie romance

working out together

practicing dances together

the type of guy to literally ignore everything she’s saying because her beauty distracted him

she hits him on the arm for that

passionate kisses

there have been too many times where the others walk in the kitchen and lily is sitting on the kitchen counter with her arms around jeno’s neck as they’re just making out

they’re the couple that’s yelled at by the dreamies the most because sometimes they need to chill out

LMAO THEYRE LIKE THE HORMONAL HIGH SCHOOL COUPLE

and like they love each other deeply and fully, it’s not high school in that regard

but they giggle too much and are kinda all over each other sometimes

they use pet names just a BIT too much

the older guys are a bit more protective of her with him than they would be with any of her other options

cuz while they’re softies

they escalate their relationship super quick

and it’s RIGHT for them

but the hyungs are protective

jeno surprisingly isn’t that jealous because if he could actually get lily

he knows neither of them are going anywhere

him constantly telling her how beautiful she is

her encouraging him and telling him he’s so talented and more than he thinks he is

when they ride the tandem bikes (i think that’s what they’re called? the bikes with two people?) it’s just jeno pedaling

OH and when they make eye contact during stages it only enhances their stage presence because they both wanna look sexy for their boo

jeno is rooting for lily solo because he knows she deserves it

super sweet and wholesome and they make each other smile so WIDE

she pops his zits for him LMAO

cuddles for DAYS and jeno’s fav thing is when she falls asleep in his arms

touches his muscles all the time

SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3

they make out so much OMG

a bit wilder than she would be with others

she loves to run her hand down his abs

when she does that or touches his biceps it lowkey turns him on

jeno is a bit more reserved than the others at times, but with lily he feels utterly HIMSELF

he doesn’t feel like the jeno who is just a hot rapper. he feels more than that with her

they bring the light out in each other

hyuck:

another unexpected pair but a lot more expected than jeno/lily would be

they’re both literal sunshine and they would be such a beautiful couple

lily aka the only human alive to fluster hyuck

and even THAT doesn’t happen very often

hyuck’s lap = lily’s seat

SO touchy and affectionate but not in the way lily/jeno would be

it’s like constant hand holding, hugging, sitting on each other, leaning on each other, stars in there mf EYES

while they still tease each other and mess around

i have a very specific image in mind of them waking up together, hyuck leaning over her, the biggest smiles on their faces, and then kissing each other

and lily’s just like “hi” with the cutest smile, and then he says it back with the same smile

it might surprise you but hyuck POSSESSIVE

will gatekeep her and not let anyone hug her

always calls her his girlfriend in front of the members

he stands behind her with an arm around the middle of her torso a lot and she’s just absentmindedly playing with his fingers

only a tiny, lil bit obvious in front of czennies because they’re both so affectionate?? and before they dated lily would call him the love of her life?? and keep her face close to his?? this is NORMAL for them

but one of the biggest clues is hyuck being physically unable to not stare at her lips sometimes

they read each other’s tarot nearly every day HAHAH

very romantic as well

she sings him “you are my sunshine” all the time, just stroking his face and staring at him with all of the love in the world

like i said, they still tease the fuck outta each other and roast each other and are at each other’s throats but then they can flip INSTANTLY

he kisses her knuckles and traces her face

he games and she’s falling asleep on his lap

127 squad doesn’t like when they’re being forward because haechannie is the maknae

she loves life cuz more hyuck = more taeil

he will move mountains to make her laugh or see her smile

he’s begging sm for a sexy dance break with the two of them

she’s obsessed with how gorgeous his skin is

the type of boyfriend that notices the tiny little things

he’ll do things/get things for her just because he thought of her or remembered something she said

SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3

another one that’s a bit wilder

theyre not shy LMAO

steamy intense makeouts like

how is he so good? lily is very satisfied

overall they’re such a fun beautiful HAPPY couple

theyre both so loving and wonderful and there is not one single doubt in anyone’s mind that they love each other fully

jaemin:

literally impossible in any universe

chenle:

lily and chenle have always been two sides of the same coin and he had been waiting for so long

the SMILES

the most beautiful happy smiles at each other ALWAYS because how did they get so lucky?

they were each other’s first proper kiss (canonically, as well)

it’s perfect because they’re best friends and always have been

nothing much changes except the affection and little things because they’re both still best friends

jisung being on all of their dates

he always buys her expensive shit and she hates it so much

she puts on lipstick JUST to kiss his cheek

jisung has walked in on them vibing, on them making out, and yeah he’s sick of it and so happy he only saw them kissing

always sleeping in the same room (usually at his place 👀) but theyre a huge mess when they sleep at night and someone ends up hitting the other because chenle moves too much for her liking

they’re still competitive and of course they still have their alliance

because dating or not, they would fight to the death on that rooftop

chenle literally will kiss every inch of her face because he likes hearing her giggles and he can’t believe he finally got his lily

CUDDLING ALL THE TIME and they’ve fallen asleep on the couch in the dorms and when they’re sleeping HARD the others like to see how many things they can balance on their heads

he will HYPE HER UP ALWAYS

but then say summ like “her face is weird tho” after and unless they’re in front of fans he ends up kissing her after she hits him

when she has to be sexy on stage, he is HERE FOR IT even if the stage is with another person because!! YES his girlfriend is hot, he’s LUCKY

she loves going to his house!! mostly because his family but also

they get to have privacy and be a couple

they’ll hold hands on camera cuz they don’t give a single fuck

they’re definitely outed and have to go public

which just makes their competitive streak and constant roasts WORSE

she loves the sound of his laugh but will yell at him if it hurts her ears

threatens to get one of his predebut photos tattooed on her

a big part of them loving each other is annoying each other and being soft behind the scenes

always together

SLIGHT nsfw below. no smut but. and then some fluff near the end <3

the more intimate aspects of the relationship were really weird at first

but they’re very compatible so it was just fun to them

he WILL honk her boob. has done it in front of the others by accident and jaemin forbid her to see him for a few days

they kinda taught each other how to kiss way before they dated so it was funny when they did it as a couple

peak friends-to-lovers and even czennies can’t help but love then

jisung:

god their shyness is kinda annoying

really confident in private- they talk a lot, they’re very good at just chilling

but lily has to be the one to hold his hand because he’ll get nervous even when he’s so comfy in the relationship

i mean not that the dreamies have time to be in a relationship, but jisung was so SCARED to kiss her and have his first kiss

she thought it was funny

clumsy duo and they tease tf outta each other for it

chenle always being around

they can’t tell who the members are more protective over in the relationship

hugs!!! she loves to backhug him and he thinks it’s cute cuz she’s so tiny

they watch harry potter too much

she has almost convinced him to ride a rollercoaster but ended up failing

he makes fun of her height a lot and then she’ll trip him or something

he’s kinda protective and gets insecure that he’s younger than her sometimes but she just kisses his cheek and tells him to stop worrying

tbh they’re the most innocent, wholesome couple

they wanna go out on dates and they do but catch another member tagging along to babysit them

she gets wine drunk next to him and he can’t drink so he just has this drunk woman on his hands and doesn’t know what to do but honestly she just wants him to cuddle her to sleep

his voice is her favorite sound and she wants him to sing more

whenever anyone says something weird about jisung they both hold up the handcuffs cuz

they’re super weird they can be so confident and then one of them gets flustered and will be a shy baby

trading lines in concerts

lily making cute faces at him, staring at him blankly, winking at him, acting cute to him in front of fans

they share one braincell together and probably accidentally outed themselves by using pet names and like. holding hands on live

and then the OH SHIT face happens

they’ve given the older members heart attacks because he’ll give her a piggyback ride, they’ll hug really tight, or WORSE... they’ll give each other a lil kiss

they’re more innocent by nature but they love kissing and he loves holding her face because her skin is pretty and soft

he wears her perfume on his wrist so he can smell her and smile

the type of boyfriend who is CLUELESS about girl stuff

he wants her to try a different hair color. like a weird one

she refuses

taeyong actually loves them together so much

them dating and being IN LOVE and jisung still gives her cash for her birthday

the “i love you’s” are so. cute. and full. of. LOVE

she is merciless when theyre playing something against each other. she’ll TRY to get him out

usually lily is clingier but when she’s standing and jisung is sitting with his arms around her waist and his head squished to her side it’s so cute

he gets randomly really clingy at times and won’t let go of her

emotional bub will get teary because he loves her so much

[moonknightly]

Sinking Down Into My Thoughts : Poe Dameron x Reader

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Excerpt: “He couldn’t take the ghosts in his lungs and the skeletons in his closet. He couldn’t stand the taste of war anymore, so permanent on his tongue. The battles stitched across the skin of his back. All of the times he had failed.”

Warnings: Uhhh this one is sad af. Suicidal thoughts, mentions of death and loss. Sad.

At first it had been easy.

Poe was familiar with loss. He had been so young when he experienced it for the first time — with his parents, when they had so valiantly risked their lives to hopefully better his. Years he would never get back. Time. Time that was cut even shorter when Death had come for his mother. He had been only eight. Just a small boy, a boy too young to understand what had been taken, ripped right out from under him. Too young to understand why daddy was crying, and why mommy wasn’t there to tuck him in at night, to stop his own tears from flowing down red cheeks.

But he supposed he should be thankful, in some twisted sense of the word. Because that experience had numbed him, helped to dull the sting of loss when it struck. Death, loss, mourning — it was unavoidable, especially in a life riddled with war. It was easy because it was unavoidable.

But then suddenly, it was. It was all so completely avoidable. Suddenly Poe realized there was so much he could have done, so much he could have changed. So many lives he could have saved if he had only tried just a little harder. If he hadn’t been so selfish. If he had sacrificed himself.

And he was disgusted with himself, because he often used death, the loss of life to inspire others. Used it as an example. Talked about it like it was some beautiful sacrifice and not a terrible tragedy.

All that blood — it was never once beautiful. It was only ever red. He took it and he turned it into something beautiful, something romanticized so people would take chances, so they wouldn’t be afraid.

He couldn’t do that with you.

He hadn’t been able to say anything about your death at all.

It had been the one that had made him realize that he was so completely fucking selfish, that death wasn’t something to sentimentalize. Because fuck, it had hurt so fucking badly. It had stabbed him through the heart, and now he would have to die twice because you had gone first.

And he hated himself even more because he hadn’t felt a damn thing. It wasn’t like all of the stories, where you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, when you just know that something so terrible has happened to the person you love. It wasn’t like that at all. He felt nothing. Shouldn’t he have felt something?

And for that reason, part of him wondered if you really were gone. Part of him wondered if BB-8 had simply been wrong. Maybe he missed something. He wondered if maybe the small droid had blown a fuse in the landing, broken a sensor, something, anything. How many times had Poe crashed a ship and still managed to walk away with his life? There had to be a chance. Hope.

But his beloved droid, the only thing he had left, promised that he had been so completely thorough in checking the wreckage. That you weren’t there. There was nowhere else for you to be. It had been a week now, and Poe had spent every single night laying in the grass just outside of the hangar, waiting for you.

You never came.

He couldn’t stay on base.

He was driving himself mad. Everywhere he looked, he saw you, felt you. It was all too much. Poe hadn’t even been able to bring himself to sleep in the bed you once shared, hadn’t been able to bring himself to look towards the spot where your X-Wing should have been parked — the spot right next to his. He hadn’t been able to say your name, though it was still ringing in his ear, your voice was still in his head, and he just wanted it to stop.

It wouldn’t fucking stop.

He had been flying with no particular destination in mind, though still on Ajan Kloss, for over ten hours now, hoping to clear his mind. But his thoughts — they were all you. All he could think about was you and your laugh and the way that you smelled and how you couldn’t get through the mornings without your caf, and how you ran your fingers through his hair on the nights he couldn’t sleep, and how you would sneak up behind him in the command center and wrap your arms around his waist.

How he didn’t believe in a Heaven, but he had been picturing you there, because Maker, he wanted you to be there, waiting for him even though he fucking knew he didn’t have a chance at getting in himself.

How he had lost and lost and lost, but he never imagined that he could lose you, but your life proved to be just as fleeting as everyone else’s.

Just as fleeting as his could be.

Poe wanted to crash his X-Wing. He wanted it to be over. He had even closed his eyes for several minutes at a time, just hoping to crash into something, and he was growing frustrated because every single time he felt himself getting just a little too close to the ground or any other object, he pulled back. He couldn’t fucking do it.

He was so, so weak.

He wanted to do it. He deserved to do it. But he couldn’t fucking bring himself to because your voice grew even louder each time he came close, telling him not to, begging him not to. And stars, he would always listen to you. Always did before.

But he just couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the ghosts in his lungs and the skeletons in his closet. He couldn’t stand the taste of war anymore, so permanent on his tongue. The battles stitched across the skin of his back. All of the times he had failed. How he had failed you.

Poe was losing his mind.

And he was even more sure that he was losing his mind when he heard BB-8 frantically rush out that he had someone from base trying to come through his comlink, your call sign attached.

“Buddy, that’s Y/N’s. You know that.”

More frantic beeping that translated into two simple words — “I know.”

Poe’s stomach sank. He really did have a loose wire, a missing bolt, he wouldn’t make such a monumental mistake otherwise. BB-8 didn’t make mistakes.

“Beebee, this isn’t funny.”

The droid made a noise that sounded almost like a huff. “Just trust me.”

Poe grit his teeth, wanting to slam his head into the controls if he were being quite honest. But regardless, he flipped on the speaker of his coms, staying quiet, merely listening.

He heard some muffled talking, but he couldn’t really make out any particular voice or what they were saying. It had to have been a mistake, someone resetting something. Someone playing a sick joke, trying to mess with him. He shook his head, letting it hit the back of his seat with a small thump and a heavy sigh. He was just about to flip it off, already angling himself towards the ground again when a voice broke through the static.

“You know, I was kind of hoping that you’d be here waiting for me Dameron.”

He pulled up suddenly, causing the ship to jerk wildly for just a moment, his eyes widening and the air completely leaving his lungs as if he had been kicked in the chest.

“Y/N?”

“Hi flyboy.”

Poe couldn’t speak. Completely lost the ability to. His head was spinning wildly and he felt like he was going to be sick. This couldn’t actually be happening. How could this be happening? BB-8 had been so sure.

“You still with me Poe?”

He swallowed the lump that was threatening to rise in his throat.

“I’m losing my damn mind.”

You laughed. You laughed and Poe’s stomach flipped because he thought he would never get to hear that beautiful, angelic sound ever again.

He swallowed again. He didn’t want to start crying, not then. He would save his tears for later that night, once he had you back in his arms and in the comfort of your shared quarters, once he was positive that this wasn’t his mind playing some cruel trick.

“How?”

His voice was nothing more than a broken whisper, and he hated how it sounded in his ears. It didn’t sound like him at all.

“I got thrown,” you sighed, and Poe felt his heart clench just a little bit. He remembered when he had crashed that TIE back on Jakku, how hurt and scared and dehydrated he had been before finding help.

Hurt and scared and dehydrated was better than dead though.

It was definitely better than dead.

“Are you okay?”

“Just a little banged up, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

Poe thought about her question, but his mind was jumping all over the place, still in shock, still not truly believing that she was really sitting back at base, talking to him. That her voice really was in his ear and not just some hallucination in his head.

“I don’t know.”

His words were truthful. He wasn’t lying. He really didn’t know.

“Come back to me baby. Come home.”

Why did he feel like he couldn’t?

“I’ve failed.”

“You haven’t failed baby.”

“I almost lost you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I can’t do this.”

Shouldn’t he have been happy? Shouldn’t he have felt something? Why was he still numb?

“Let me help you.”

He sobbed, the sound strangled, tearing through his throat so violently it burned his vocal chords.

He didn’t deserve it. Poe didn’t deserve anything from anyone. He didn’t deserve help, he didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve to live.

He deserved to lose.

“I need you, Poe Dameron. I need you.”

He stopped, his heart clenching in his chest — there it was, the feeling. Emotion. Something.

“Say it again.”

“I need you.”

Another tug.

You needed him. You needed him and you did deserve everything from everyone. You deserved all of the love and affection and every little thing you could ever possibly dream of. You deserved it all. You deserved better than him.

But he was selfish. He wanted to be selfish.

You needed him.

He needed you.

You didn’t deserve to lose.

He did, he still thought that he deserved to lose everything. But he couldn’t lose you, not again.

And he couldn’t let you lose him.

It had become so apparent that losing each other would only ever be red. It would never be beautiful, he could never make it beautiful.

Loss, death, all of that blood spilled in war — it was only ever red.

And Poe Dameron would do everything in his power to try and avoid it.

He’d come home. He’d see you in just a little while, and he would cry, just like he told himself he would, but he would also let himself get lost in loving you, the most beautiful thing that he could make.

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

Neil Josten's Playlist Part 6 - For Himself

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety here

A lot of the songs Neil keeps are just for him. Sometimes you need to be in your feelings a bit and music is the only place you're comfortable doing that.

2. Shrike - Hozier

After he initially found Hozier, this boy didn’t listen to anything else for weeks straight if he could help it. Shrike I think is just a song that he loves the sound of. Pretty much the only thing we know in canon about Neil’s music taste is that he doesn’t like loud music. Which is incredibly vague and generalizing. To me, that tells me that Neil maybe is actually someone who tends to pay most attention to and by most effected by the sound of a song than the theme or lyrics or genre or anything. If he doesn’t like the sound, he doesn’t like the song. But a sound that appeals to him? Oh boy, he won’t be able to let it go. Shrike is like that for him. It’s gentle and smooth and I imagine he doesn’t pay too much attention to the lyrics or meaning. He just lets himself get lost in the sound.

11. Best Part - Daniel Caesar & H.E.R.

Not too much to say about this. It’s soft and beautiful and smooth, and I think Neil would greatly appreciate the sound. It’s a bit too soft for him to associate with Andrew, but he doesn’t need the association to enjoy it. Neil listens to it on his morning runs when the sun is only just rising and the world is still moving slowly. But he also listens to it on slower mornings when Andrew convinces him to forgo the morning run in favor of breakfast and coffee on the couch with the cats.

17. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

Like some others on this list, this is a song that catches Neil wholly for its sound. Like the title, listening to this song feels a little like getting lost in a dream. There's just something very soft about it, and those are the kinds of songs that catches Neil's attention. He likes that he's found something he can get lost in for a time without losing himself.

27. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright

As incredible of a song this is, the origin of Neil's connection to it isn't anything super emotional. The foxes made him watch Shrek. He became very attached to this song and would listen to it on repeat for weeks afterwards. They all got so sick of it. His aux cord privileges were revoked. Matt doesn't need to start CRYING while he's DRIVING Neil, THANK YOU.

As for his connection to it, a big trend I'm seeing in the stuff that I think Neil listens to is that a lot of it is very emotional. Sad songs, moving melodies, beautiful ballads. I think Neil listens to music to help him feel his emotions - like really feel them. He's so good at compartmentalizing and shoving everything down and away (as per the trauma of running for the better half of his life), I think listening to emotional music - like really listening to it all - as a means of getting in touch with the emotions he's always shoving aside would be a great coping mechanism for him. To that degree songs like this just strike a cord with Neil, even if there isn't any parallel to draw between the lyrics and his own life. A song is a package of emotion that Neil can hear and unpack and process at his own pace while retaining a safe degree of separation.

30. Obstacles - Syd Matters

Not a whole lot to say about this one. Neil finds it somehow - either through one of his foxes or just on his own - and he finds it incredibly calming. He keeps it close. It makes him hopeful even on days when he can't bring himself to look in the mirror. The steady melody and repeating words help him get lost in something other than his own thoughts.

35. Ashes On Your Eyes - Deb Talan

This is one Neil found on his own. It doesn't remind him of any of his foxes, though, or his mother. It's one of the few songs he has just for himself. It serves as a reminder that he's going to be okay. He has a great support system, but sometimes he likes to find comfort in himself just to prove that he can still do it. Songs like this keep him going on those days where he doesn't want to bring his problems to others.

37. Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart

This is one Neil gets his hands on in his final year at Palmetto, but it isn't just about Andrew for him (like most of the others from this year). This one is about all his foxes - his family. It's about how lonely he feels even when he has a whole group of people he lives and plays and interacts with on a daily basis. They aren't his people; his people are scattered everywhere. He only learned how to be a real person after he met them. Now he needs to learn to do it on his own. There's a special kind of pain that comes when he thinks of how much he misses each of them.

39. Unsteady - Ambassador X

This song is one Neil thinks of often when he's having bad days. He'll still always end up having some days where he doesn't feel like a real person, and on those days it can be hard to ground himself - to keep from floating away and giving up on everything he's built to run back to being nothing. What helps him most on those days is not being alone. It takes him a long time, though, to learn how to communicate what his needs are on those days. It's pretty lucky that Andrew can read him so well, but during the years when they aren't living together it becomes very hard for Neil to find the words to ask for help. This song helps him with that. The chorus is so short and to-the-point but is still such a bare-bones lay of emotion and need that it centers Neil enough to realize that he doesn't need to explain himself or mince his words when he's asking for help. He just needs to ask.

42. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day

The downside to having the music taste that Neil does is that sometimes he latches onto something that is apparently a bit cheesy or overplayed, and the foxes gladly tease him for liking it unironically. This is definitely one of those songs. It doesn't matter to him that it was basically everyone's 8th grade graduation song (he didn't get one of those anyway, Matt.) He listens to this and thinks of the passage of time and how hard it's going to be when his foxes are scattered all over the country while he's stuck alone in Palmetto. But they'll be happy, and he'll be happy soon enough after that. They'll all move forward but it doesn't mean they'll lose each other (he has to repeat that to himself on bad nights).

The completely serious way he listens to this song is funny to the foxes at first, but Nicky is the first to break down crying when it stops being funny. He's also the only one to break down crying, but that doesn't mean the others don't get emotional too. ("Jesus, Neil, you got a whole team of collegiate athletes getting emotional over the time-of-your-life song. How much more of a fucking weirdo enigma can you be??" -Andrew at some point probably)

47. Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.

Neil has some pretty intense, pretty specific trauma. Plenty of people in the world have experienced terrible things and it isn't a competition. Neil knows this. However, he's also painfully aware that he's someone who pulled the right numbers in the shit lottery. Sometimes it helps to hear this song.

He knows that maybe his own life experiences were not anything close to what the songwriter had in mind, but it still helps. It helps to remember that he isn't the only person in the world who has terrible days. It even helps to know that people outside of the foxes have bad days. It helps to find a way to feel connected to the larger population of the world. It's a definite new thing for him - feeling like he's allowed to belong in the world - but it's very comforting at times.

54. Lights Up - Harry Styles

((I wish I could remember who made a post once saying this was a very Neil song because that was how I first heard it and I wish I could credit that person. Alas, it was over a year ago when I first read the books and didn't recognize any usernames yet :/ if anyone knows who that is lmk!!))

There are a lot of things Neil doesn't know about himself. There are a lot of things from freshman year and before that he still feels some level of guilt for. But ultimately he doesn't regret a single choice he's made. There are a whole lot of things he's still figuring out about his life. He heard this song and really vibed with the sound and what it was saying. Not much more to say than that. He's found himself in a light that he's happy to stay and figure himself out in.

66. Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

Mary was a bit of a Beatles fan. There were several of their songs she'd play on their long drives when they weren't being immediately tailed.

This wasn't one of them. She skipped this one, every single time. Neil fully understands why. For all the indulgence she gave herself in the music she listened to, this one seemed to cross a line she couldn't handle.

Now Neil listens to it on morning runs and good days. And he lets himself feel okay.

71. Fall on Me - R.E.M.

Neil's had plenty of people trying to hurt him throughout his life. He's never really gotten help from people he was supposed to get it from. And now he has a whole family of people who have experienced similar abandonment.

Sometimes that pisses him off.

Sometimes he just really wishes the world was a softer place. Andrew would say it's dumb to wish, especially for something like that. And he'd be right. But it doesn't stop Neil from thinking it sometimes.

73. Hat and Feet - Fountains of Wayne

Sometimes you're just beaten down and worn out. Just once in a while, Neil wants to let himself feel this without feeling terrible and lost for it. This song helps with that.

Sometimes you're just a hat and feet, and that's okay.

[ramenaddicted]

Just desserts WIP (Keigo x Reader cheating angst)

Some angst that I'm writing. @deleteddewewted

Content Warning: Cheating, angst, cursing, and implied drug use.

Again this is a WIP so it's still in the process, so the next time you see it it might be structured differently.

Love is an unyielding force, depending on the person. Some people love hard, others have what I call an inkling of love. Meaning the love is there, just not enough to make them stay or leave. Or some have no love at all; they fake their emotions just to gain a means to an end. So how do I classify the person who threw away three years of a perfectly good relationship?

Here we both stand in our (his) apartment; his eyes are downcast on the floor. He's silently begging for the floor to open up and devour him whole. My body moves on autopilot as I walk away from him, feet leading me to his den of sin. Our bedroom was once a source of comfort for us, now I'm hastily reminded of him fucking another woman on the sheets I painstakingly picked out, a nice burgundy color for fall.

As I hastily pack the essentials: clothes, toiletries, and a few comfort items, all harshly packed away in my purple suitcase. I feel the warmth of his body enveloping me; hands circled my waist, pulling me against his heaving chest. Why is he crying? Isn't this what he wanted?

He wanted an open relationship, he wanted other people, he wanted sex on his terms. None of which includes me, so I'm leaving.

"Please don't go," he begs. Funny for years I had been trying to get him to open up to me and now all because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants he wants to have a breakthrough.

I forcibly pushed him off of me, I refused to feed into his crocodile tears.

"I'll be back sometime next week for the rest of my stuff," I reply venomously.

He screams for me to wait, but I'm already at the door. Fist clenched tight around the doorknob. I take a long breath before turning back to him. He's so beautiful, a cheating bastard, but a beautiful teary-eyed bastard.

"I refuse to be a fool for you anymore."

I refused to listen to his cries and pleas as I opened my gate to freedom and closed it behind me; trapping him in his den of sin or now his gilded cage of guilt.

||||

The first three days were the hardest; when I first left the apartment I wandered aimlessly until I got hungry and hunkered down in a café. It was like God was playing a cruel joke; there were couples everywhere, being cute and loving. It makes me sick, so in between drinking my too-sweet macchiato I called Junko, my dear friend, to let me stay at her place through this whole ordeal. I didn't have to wait very long before a familiar face was decorated with comical makeup (clown core is what she calls it.) Bustled through my section of the café.

"I know I'm supposed to cry with you, but this all-nighter setting spray."

I fucking died at her response, classic Junko; a fashionista to the end.

After leaving the café we went to a nearby convenience store and loaded up with everything: junk food, alcohol, and eye drops...for when we smoke "cigarettes" on the roof of her apartment building. During the walk, my phone kept vibrating in my pocket; I kept receiving calls from Keigo and ...Miruko? I was very tempted to throw my suitcase case and phone over the bridge, just a big fuck you to the birdman with Hella mommy issues.

A blood-curdling scream ripped itself from Junko's throat, startling the fuck out of me.

"From experience, if you don't scream or cry, your thoughts and emotions will cloud your mind." She said with a jovial look etched into her clownish-looking features. "I rather scream than do something stupid, like throwing a 40,000¥ phone into a river."

She's right. So for a good half an hour; I screamed into the indigo/orange mixture that was the sky over Mustafu.

"Fuck you Keigo!!!"

My back welcomed the plush bedding of Junko's guest bedroom when I fell backward on it. Back lounging on the softest and not cum stained sheets; did I allow my eyes to close. I didn't allow my mind to dawdle on birdman and all his shortcomings, instead, I thought about-

"You wanna smoke a bowl?" Junko inquired while standing in the doorway.

"You might wanna pack that bowl nice and tight." I meditated while staring at the colorless ceiling. My night ended with me and Junko smoking a bowl on the roof of her apartment building staring at the ever-changing hues of the sky,...yeah I'll be alright.

||||

I don't remember much of day one at Junko's, day two I spent most of the day hiding away and thinking. My relationship with Keigo had red flags from the beginning. His crude personality manifested when the two of us would have fought and in the end; when he got knocked down a peg, would lead him to hide or fly into the night.

Funny, he can insult me, but when I raise my voice I'm being unreasonable.

With my collection of parental issues; I swallowed my pride and apologized. Every single time I would come crawling to that mother fucker his eyes glowed darkly with amusement. Another red flag was the gifts; Keigo expressed early on that he was a gift-giver, and it never sat right with me. One day a Givenchy dress showed up on my doorstep; Keigo was adamant that I wear it to a charity function. The next gift was a necklace he quietly placed around my neck while I was distracted. Lastly and the most shocking, a forced threesome. We had talked about fantasies and whatnot; I jokingly mentioned that I wanted to have a (hypothetical) threesome with him and another Pro hero, you know as a joke.

" Keigo, what is this?"

"A gift for patching me up last week."

"Such a loving girlfriend, Yasmin.” Miruko passionately murmured. Her desire-filled crimson eyes bore holes into my frame. Yes Miruko is a beautiful and intimidating woman, but

I couldn’t stop the chill that ran through my body as I watched Pro Hero Miruko saunter over to my direction, all dressed in expensive-looking lingerie. The necklace that Keigo gifted me before, fitting comfortably around her neck. Tucking a strand of stray hair behind my ear, her lips were on my left earlobe; hot, wet, and hungry. I felt Keigo’s bare chest against my back as his tongue seriously licked my right earlobe.

My thoughts are a mess; my pulse is racing faster than a speeding bullet, my body is racked with tremors, and my throat is dry. Why would he do this? Am I not enough for him? Does he want someone else?

We got as far as kissing, Miruko could taste my uneasiness through her passionate ones while Keigo watched from his place on a chair in the bedroom.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Pregnancy Prompts

Taken from a lot of awesome lists! This is just a lot easier for me though I’ll be editing in where I got them

I don’t take credit for any of these.

I’ll be happy to take some Devil May Cry requests { really in the mood to write some things for those characters }

Pregnancy/Family Prompts/Starters

Discovery

1:“This is your fault!Take responsibility.”

2:One party finds out they’re pregnant while the other party is away/captured/missing.

3:Hiding pregnancy from the other partner.

4:“I didn’t think we’d ever do it.”

5:“My parents are gonna be so happy.”

6:“My parents are gonna kill me.”

7:“Do you think it’ll be a boy, or a girl?”

During Pregnancy

8:Baby kicks for the first time.

9:Discussing baby names.

10:Cuddling.

11“You’re not fat, you’re pregnant, and even if you were fat, I don’t care. I love you.”

12:“I dunno if I’ll be a good Mom/Dad.”

13:“I’m emotional and pregnant, leave me alone.”

14:“Get them to settle down in there, will you?”

Labor/After Birth

15:“Baby’s coming, now.”

16“Don’t let go of my hand, okay?”

17:“I can’t do this.”

18:A long and difficult labor, with a good or bad end.

19:“I’m going to kill you if you do this to me again.”

20:Parents relaxing with their newborn(s)/looking at them in awe.

21:“I will always protect you.You can do this.”

1. “Shh, it’s okay, you don’t need to cry.”

2. “Do you want a bed time story?”

3. “[mama/papa]’s got you.”

4. “…How on earth did you manage to get up there?”

5. “Put the cookie down, eat your dinner first.”

6. “I think I can feel them kicking!”

7. “Quick, I think the baby is coming!”

8. “Where did you put your blankie this time.”

9. “One little shoe. Two little shoes. Already to go out.”

10. “They have grown so much, it’s hard to believe how little they used to be.”

11. “I want another baby.”

12. “Say goodbye to mama and papa, they’ll be back soon.”

13. “Stomach bug?”

“No, morning sickness.”

14. “It could be worse?”

“They got jam everywhere!”

15. “You really are your [mother/father]’s child.”

16. “So… the baby is fine, I want you to know that first, they are absolutely fine.”

“What did you do?”

17. “They won’t stop crying and, in a minute, I think I am going to start crying first.”

18. “Stop wiggling! I need to get you changed!”

19. “You are perfect, my little [pet name].”

20. “Did you have a bad dream?” //

“Uh huh.”

“Come on, get into bed with us, you can sleep in bed with us tonight.”

21. “Take a break. I’ll stay up with them, you need some sleep.”

22. “How did you get pen that high up the wall?”

23. “Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t… You vomited on me.”

24. “How many coffees is that?” / “You try having a toddler who refuses to go to bed.”

25:“I hope they have your eyes.”

26:“We’re gonna need more diapers than that.”

27;“How do you like the nickname grandpa/grandma/grandparent?”

28:“Would you prefer something else over uncle/aunt [name]?”

29:“The petting zoo is closed, now stop touching me.”

30:“Whenever you stop talking, they start kicking.”

31:“Look! A foot! Hah, it’s like an alien is inside me/you.”

32:“I’m 41 weeks and 2 days, how do you think I’m doing?”

33:“If you don’t stop laughing, I’ll kick you. Now help me up!”

34:“Uh, its called the “pregnant privilege”.”

35:“Don’t spoil their kid’s taste in music with your trashy playlist.”

36:“Everyone is staring at me…”

37:“Originally, I wanted to pick this up off the floor, that was mistake number 1. Now, I’ve just accepted my fate that I’ll never get back up again.”

38“It’s just one cup of coffee, relax.”

39;“Lets take it slow, we gotta get through having this one before we think of having more.”

40:“Can’t wait for you to meet them.”

41:“I know it’s 3 AM, but do you know what I could really go for right about now?”

42:“Don’t panic, they’re just Braxton Hicks.”

43:“What’s so funny?”

44: “Lets have a baby.”

Pregnancey

1. “Did you feel him/her/them kick?”

2. “Do you think I’ll be a good mom/dad?”

3. “Babe, wake up. The baby is having a party in here! Give me your hand!”

4. “Hospital! Now!”

5. “Boy or Girl?”

6. “Can we name the baby after me?”

7. “Can you put the crib together!”

8. “Cuddle me now!”

9.“I’m pregnant…”

10. “I hope he/she has your eyes.”

11. “You want to paint the nursery what?!”

12. 
"so… i have some news.“

13. 
"okay i just want to say that, yes, i have gained some weight… but it’s because i’m pregnant.”

14. 
"better get your dad jokes ready.“

15. 
"right here! right here’s a foot!”

16. 
"the little one is quite active today.“

17. 
"is that a hand?!”

18. 
"maybe you should try reading a book to them?“

19. 
"come watch my belly, it’s frickin crazy!”

20. 
"the top of the baby’s head is about… here. and a foot is right this way.“

21. 
"do you think the baby would be down if i ate some chipotle?”

22. 
"coffee isn’t good for you while you’re pregnant or breast feeding, but damn i need some caffeine.“

23. 
"watermelon with peanut butter sounds so great right now.”

24. 
"my feet are so swollen…!“

25. 
"ew, my stretch marks are so gross…”

26. 
"the baby will not stop kicking my bladder, so that is why i refuse to leave the toilet.“

27. “Honey you’re pregnant that’s all baby. You look beautiful.”

Newborn and Baby

1. “He/She is up again.”

2. “I’ll get the baby, you go back to sleep.”

3. “So sweet!”

4. “I have found your mini-me.”

5. “Babe!! We are out of formula…again!”

6. “Stop being a baby hog!”

7. “They’re gorgeous!!”

8. “This parent thing is hard!”

9. “You both are precious!”

10. “I love you both so so much!”

11. “Oh…it’s everywhere…I didn’t realize babies…went so much…”

12. “I’ve got it, go back to sleep.”

13. “Wake up, the baby needs you.”

14. “I can’t change their diaper without you getting sick It’s a little frustrating.”

15. “Momma’s little baby, yes you are.”

16. “Daddy’s little baby, yes you are.”


Toddler

1. “That’s your son/daughter!”

2. “They are walking!!!”

3. “I love it when fall asleep on me.”

4. “she/he keeps crying for you.”

5. “Can I hold them!”

6. “Can I pick they’re outfit out today?”

7. “Daddy’s little girl/boy.”

8. “Mummy’s little girl/boy.”

9. “she /he is never going to be aloud to date!”

10. “Was that a word?!?”

11. “This kid is gonna have a better childhood than I did.”

12. “Honey our little angel just flushed his/her toy down the toilet!”

1: ❝ watermelon like that- oh. ❞

2:❝ Can I touch your stomach? ❞

3:❝ Who’s the daddy? ❞

4:❝ HI LITTLE GUYYYYYY. ❞

5:❝ How many weeks? ❞

6❝ Does it hurt? ❞

7:❝ That’s a living thing in there. A real living thing. ❞

8:❝ I think I deserve extra food since I’m eating for two. ❞

9:❝ Does this make me look fat? ❞

10:❝ No, I get to sleep twice as long because I’m sleeping for the both of us. ❞

11:❝ It’s a boy/girl. I am calling him/her ___. ❞

12:❝ Did someone say shopping spree? The baby room isn’t going to furnish itself. Also you have to carry everything. ❞

13:❝ I used to sneak food into theatres like this, but now I’m sneaking a baby in. ❞

14:❝ NOTHING FITS ME ANYMORE. ❞

15:❝ I’d be fine if I had three bowls of ice cream with diced bananas and sprinkles and a scoop of nutella and three potato chips and- ❞

16:❝ My stomach is like a table now. Look, I can balance all these chocolates on there and- oh.. the baby kicked it off.. ❞

- announcing

❛ so… i have some news. ❜

❛ you look at it, i’m too nervous. ❜

❛ it came back positive. ❜

❛ so… hypothetically, if we were to have a baby, how would you react?❜

❛ okay i just want to say that, yes, i have gained some weight… but it’s because i’m pregnant.❜

❛ better get your dad jokes ready. ❜

❛ you’re going to be a parent! ❜

- questions / hopes / concerns

❛ what names do you like? ❜

❛ i wonder if they’ll like _____. ❜

❛ do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl? ❜

❛ what if i’m a bad mom/dad? ❜

❛ i hope they like me. ❜

❛ so… do you know… what breast milk tastes like? ❜

❛ if my kid turns out like __insert person__ i’ll be pretty pleased. ❜

❛ do you think they’ll have your eyes? ❜

❛ who should we make the god parents? ❜

❛ i haven’t told __insert person__ yet… how should i tell them?❜

- belly feeling / watching / interactions

❛ right here! right here’s a foot!❜

❛ the little one is quite active today.❜

❛ is that a hand?! ❜

❛ maybe you should try reading a book to them? ❜

❛ come watch my belly, it’s frickin crazy! ❜

❛ the top of the baby’s head is about… here. and a foot is right this way. ❜

- cravings

❛ do you think the baby would be down if i ate some chipotle? ❜

❛ coffee isn’t good for you while you’re pregnant or breast feeding, but damn i need some caffeine. ❜

❛ watermelon with peanut butter sounds so great right now. ❜

- other ( reactions, complaints, etc. )

❛ my feet are so swollen…! ❜

❛ ew, my stretch marks are so gross… ❜

❛ the baby will not stop kicking my bladder, so that is why i refuse to leave the toilet. ❜

❛ i’m… going to be a dad/mom?! ❜

❛ well how far along are you?!❜

❛ you’re kidding! ❜

“I’ve always wanted to be a mother/father!”

“We’ve waited a long time for this.”

“Do you want to feel the baby kick?”

“Give me your hand so you can feel it, too”

“We have to finish the nursery. There’s only two weeks left.”

“Have we bought everything on the baby list?”

“I can’t wait to finally hold it”

“You’re glowing!”

“There is something I have to tell you…”

“Hello little one, this is your daddy speaking..”

“I think it likes me touching your belly.”

“I can feel it kick!”

“My back aches and I want ice cream.”

“I can’t hide my bump any longer. I think we need to tell people.”

“I heard the heart beat for the first time.”

“Do you want to see an ultrasound picture?”

“You’re going to be an amazing mom/dad!”

“What would you say about adding one more? The house is big enough.”

“I think my water just broke…”

“Do you think it’s contractions?”

“Call the midwife, this is not a false alarm.”

“I think it’s too late to drive to the hospital, the baby is coming NOW.”

[nctzendreamz]

HOMECOMING — PART ll

Prologue / Part l / Part ll / Part lll

Summary: The year is 3030, and the divide between the rich and poor couldn’t be greater. Wildwood University is the most prestigious school in the entire world, but it isn’t only because of the impeccable flying cars that can be seen best during the fuchsia lit nights, or the dexterous education everyone receives. It has secrets. A lot of secrets—the biggest being that Taeyong is going to kill you.

Genre: Gang!AU, Futuristic!AU, Dystopian!AU

Warnings: Vivid descriptions of violence, foul language, drug use, and murder.

“You’re new.” Is the first thing that comes from your lips. You’re observing him—eyes trailing up and down his lanky build. He can’t tell whether you like what you see. It’s obvious you’re not easy to read. You have some form of a wall, and it’s up. “And you’ve met Mackenzie.” You eek, mouth forming into a straight line. She can’t hear you, as her headphones are placed in her ears and she seems to be meditating.

“She said you were nice.” Taeyong mentions.

“Oh, she wasn’t lying.” You chuckle. It’s a cute sound. “She can just get...how do I say—a little boy crazy? I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me she had flirted with you. How long have you been here by the way? I’ve missed a lot of class.”

“Today is my first day, actually. And yeah...I think she likes me already.”

“Let me guess—subtle touches, awful attempts to make you laugh?”

“Exactly.” He finds himself smiling from your easy-going nature. He’s not having to jump through the hoops he imagined, as you don’t see him being the new kid as a bad thing. You both are smiling at eachother, but the moment is interrupted when a rubber airplane hits you on the side of the head.

“Can you guys leave me alone for one second? God!” You yell, and Taeyong can see that it actually pissed you off.

“Johnny’s orders.” One of them says, laughing at your annoyance.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Taeyong asks innocently. Of course he knows the truth, but he needs to seem clueless. This will help build his case.

“Don’t even make me think about that.” You barf, holding your stomach and mouth at the same time. “My brother. The guy who escorted me to class as if I haven’t been doing this forever.”

“Maybe it’s because you haven’t been to class recently.” Now it’s his turn to eek, and he gets you to laugh. You think he’s funny.

To the naked eye, it would seem like Taeyong was fond of you. I mean, he was enjoying such stimulating conversation, but he hates you even more now. He seemingly doesn’t remember that Indigo is still in his system, even though it had slightly worn his silent demeanor away. The floating of the desk is kind of making him sick, but he can’t speak on it.

“I try to just focus on a certain something.”

Did you just read his mind? He knows such technology doesn’t exist, right?

“Fun fact, I threw up on my first day of school. Everyone thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen, but poor Mr. Eddie.” You’re relieving the memory; he can tell. The way your hand reaches for your chest, scratching a non existent rash tells him that this isn’t a memory you laugh at.

“Mr. Eddie? Is that our professor?”

“The professor.” You emphasize. “You should probably know this before class—

“Goodmorning class.” The voice comes from seemingly everywhere, but no one else looks creeped out, so Taeyong keeps his cool.

“Morning.” You all say in unison.

Suddenly, another door in the room reveals itself. A squeak of metal is making itself known, and everyone is either cringing, or covering their ears.

“Is he a fucking—

“Half man, half robot. A fucking robot. It’s crazy because we should be used to it right? I mean, it’s 3030 there are robot people everywhere.”

“It’s just the principle.” Taeyong decides, but in reality his chest is getting tight. He hadn’t even known about this. I mean, he had seen the little robots that could clean a little, and even project news on the wall if you paid a little extra, but this man is walking.

“Jeez Ed!” One of the players yells. “Late to the lecture, and loud. I think this means no homework.”

Is this how annoying the wealthy were allowed to be? Sweaty, presumably blonde jocks who just can’t be settled?

“You all are going to be very upset with me.” His voice is robotic for sure. Everyone begins to pop around, concerned for their professors well being. “But I’m going to have to cancel class. As you can hear, I need more oil.”

It’s like an explosion has taken off, because everyone minus you, Taeyong, and Mackenzie stand up immediately, fighting to get out of class first. It’s chaotic, and it’s making him anxious all over again. It’s not dramatic—it’s slight, but it feels like it can grow to make him actually explode.

“You three need a place to stay?” Mr. Eddie drys, clearly shocked at your presence.

“This is Taeyong.” You introduce. “And while we both know I would’ve been the first one out of here, someone has to show him around.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it Y/N.” Mackenzie speaks suddenly, taking her headphones out. “I’m sure you want to go see Kun anyway. He’s back, right?”

Kun? Who the hell was Kun?

“Kun?” Taeyong questions with a head tilt. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Your hand finds home on your earlobe, and it’s rubbing it softly. There is a smile on your face, but it’s extremely quiet and sad. Whoever Kun is to you, you love him—or at the least care about him. But at the same time, things aren’t peachy.

“No.” Is all you say, slapping your hand to your leg. “Enough about me though!” Your bright nature has returned, and it’s almost weird. He must be your ex, and where was he? Why did he leave and come back? “I have to show you around! I also need to meet your roommate and tell them if they try to hurt you it’ll be their head.”

That’s ironic, he thinks to himself. So badly does he want to laugh something evil because you’re so stupid and clueless, but he contains himself.

“What about me?” Mackenzie is pouting now, arms covering her chest. Does she really thinks that’ll work? I mean, it was quite pathetic.

“You know I love you, right?” Your tone is soft as you speak to her, hands on her shoulder. Your eyes must be as beautiful as he predicted, because her aggressive stance is loosening by the second.

“Of course I do.” She spills.

“Then I know you remember that you have a terrifying essay to write for literature, and that you don’t need to be out all day. Plus, weren’t you trying to go to the race tomorrow?”

“It was in my plans.”

“Then finish your essay tonight. Then, all the boys can see you looking good with the LED lights shining all over you...doesn’t that sound perfect?” You’re painting the picture with your hands, the both of you looking into space.

“You’re right!” She squeals, jumping up at the thought.” “You’ll be there too, right Lee?”

He looks at you for a quick moment, realizing he never told you his “name”. You seem to process it for a moment before looking at him for a response.

“I mean...I can’t make any promises. I’m not the going out type.”

“But I’ll be there. And when I’m somewhere, it matters.”

His ears were bleeding. He just knew it. “Right.” He whispers, trying his best to not sound awkward.

He should have said no when you offered to show him around. His current feelings were nothing short of introverted, and the farther the two of you walked, the more hot he became.

“I’m sure you’re used to seeing stuff like this.”

Oddly, you don’t seem tired. You had practically shown him the entire East section of the campus, and even he—the cold blooded murderer needed some water.

“Oh yeah.” He says dryly. “You know how it is in Valhalla. There are things everywhere. Blazing lights, fresh air...”

“Exactly.” You smile.

He had to admit, your smile made him feel safe. He still needed to go through with his mission, but it’s nice to know you won’t be annoying him the whole time he’s getting you to trust him. You’re easy going, and he’s already in the friendzone. He just needs to get farther.

There’s a kid coming by fast on his hoverboard, but you’re too busy looking at your watch to even hear the skrting of the device. With a swiftness, Taeyong takes your elbow and back into his hands, and he moves you to the other side.

“Shit.” You breathe out, hand on your chest now. You’re ashamed. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’m not usually this clumsy—well that’s not true, but none the less I—

“It’s okay.” He chuckles, letting his hand slide from your shoulder all the way down to your hand. He squeezes it lightly, and the look in his eyes are swallowing you. “It happens to the best of us.”

And now the two of you are having a stare down. He can see how genuine you are. The way your eyes soften the more time that passes proves this, and Taeyong is mocking your actions. In the pit of his stomach he can feel something, and he reads it to be disgust. God, you seemed like a nice person, but wasn’t this a waste of time? To do all of this and make you think he actually cares?

“Right.” You finally speak, looking at the first tree that appeared in your vision. “Anyways, we should probably go to your room now. Have you been in it at all?”

This must be how you deal with problems—moving on without a second thought. You didn’t like to think about your feelings, but at the same time didn’t that mean you were in touch with your emotions?

“It was my first stop.” He admits. He had heard about the people whos only job was to move people in and out, all for free, but with the belongings he had in his bag, that obviously wasn’t an option for him.

It took his breath away, although everything at Wildwood did. Back in the day, college dorm rooms were tight-knit, with squeezed beds and insects crawling somewhere unless you went to a top school. His room consisted of two king sized beds, and they gave him the option to make it a water bed.

He had already spent his morning hiding everything, so you wanting to come inside was no big deal. As you two journey up the hologram escalator, he noticed you were looking into space even though you should be looking at all the scenery.

“Something on your mind?”

His voice is soft when he speaks to you, and he decides in this moment that he’ll keep it that way. It seems to make you more comfortable, and comfortable means you’ll start talking; trusting.

“Too many things.” You chuckle. Now your eyes are closed, and you seem to be soaking in the good weather as if it’s the only thing good from your day. “No need to burden you with it.”

“It’s not a burden. There’s nothing worse than having no one to go to.”

“Then tell me a little bit about you, newbie.” The two of you reach the top—another door that leads to his complex. Unfortunately, they do separate these things by gender even in 3030.

Taeyong is looking for a key to his room; stopping himself as he realizes he’s not in NEO anymore. All he needs is his thumb. “Nothing much to know.” He keeps it short. “I’m just a regular, rich guy.” His tone is sarcastic, but instead of being skeptical, you laugh.

“Are you always this funny?”

That was the first time other than Mackenzie that someone had appreciated his sarcastic humor. As deppresing as it sounded and was, there weren’t a lot of jokes to be made in NEO. I mean, he usually was completely intoxicated, not wanting to laugh unless he was taking someone’s life. He’s surprised such a sentence could form from him, especially in a place he was dreading so much.

“Nope, just around nice people like you.”

He hates every second of this. He was never one to be in the mood for love, only death, blood, and darkness. He had his fair share of steamy nights in the alley ways with the street whores, but he never cared about them. He never would care about anyone but his brothers, truthfully.

He can’t tell if you’re a mess because he’s not facing you. He’s focused on his print before the door clicks, and the two of you step in.

Whoever his roommate is, he’s here. The room that Taeyong walked into this morning was empty, but this room was now full of boxes and an outfit on the bed. You’re looking around just as he is, except he’s searching to make sure his belongings are still in place. They seem to be. The pathetic rich boys who went here weren’t capable of putting something back so perfectly, so he lets his guard down.

“Well, this is it.” He motions all around the room, appreciating his own effort to keep his side spotless.

“I always wondered what it would be like to live in a dorm.” You sigh.

“You don’t live in one?”

“My dad is kind of....the president of the university. And per his rules, his kids have to stay with him.”

So you still live with your parents? Not odd, but at the same time why would he be trying to keep you around. The buisness, he remembers. It was never specified what it was. Drugs had crossed Taeyong’s mind, but at the same time, so did paper, and loans. But now that he considered it, your father must have business with bad people, meaning others could be out to get you. I mean, he was. No no, Taeyong. That’s too much of a stretch, and even so, she does live at home, which means the mission isn’t compromised.

“At least he cares about you.”

“I guess.” You take a deep breath, and he can’t miss the way you hault.

“What’s wrong?”

“That scent...I know it.” Now you’re looking all around the room at his mates side, touching his things frantically.

“Y/N, who is it? Did they do something to you?”

The door opens—so cliché. On the other side is a built man sporting a tank top and sweatpants. His hair seems to be black—but it could also be blue. His face is serious as he walks in, but the minute he locks eyes with you, they soften. It was the same thing you had done to him not too long ago. His lips are trying to find the proper words say to you, but instead he just stands there. You’re frozen in place—hands locked on one of his clothing items.

Kun. This had to be Kun.

[ohtheseboysilove]

Unwanted feelings  [Ben Hardy x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 900 K +

Warnings : angst, fluff, sad joe hours

Summary : Joe fall for Ben’s girlfriend. And obviously, it hurt.

Note :  Poor baby Joe !!! I wrote these two parts in only few days bc i was super inspired for this request, thanks again @gardenjungle ! There a part 2 almost done to finish this story bc it would been too heavy in one part, tell me what you think lovies !!

☀ Masterlist ☀ 800 followers celebration !!!

Joe never meant to feel something for (Y/N), he was aware how wrong it was. Ben and (Y/N) were together for five years now and, recently, they get engaged. Joe’s heart broke at the new but he had no right to feel sad or jealous, she wasn’t his and she never will. But feelings weren’t something that Joe or anyone could control, they were here and there weren’t much Joe could do expect waiting for them to fade away.

Ben introduced (Y/N) to him and all the bohemian rhapsody cast during the shooting of the movie and at first, it was just an innocent crush for Joe. (Y/N) was a beautiful girl and even a blind man could see that. She had the prettiest and most charming smile he ever saw, his heart fluttered heavily in his chest every time. He also really like her doe-eyes, full of happiness and excitement each time she went on set, making Joe weak on his knees. Yes, she was absolutely a true beauty.

But things went down when they became friends and saw each other more and more, Ben was very happy that his girlfriend and his new friends were having fun together so he brought her everywhere. Joe felt himself falling harder. She was also a really fun person, always giggling at his jokes, even when they weren’t funny, she was definitively a good audience. Always a witty comment to tease back Joe, catching him off guard most of the time because he was noticing how similar they were and how much he wanted to know her more. Without Ben. But it was awful thoughts to have so he kept his mouth shut. Ben used to call (Y/N) sunshine and Joe never more agreed in his life, she was a literal ball of pure joy, in an eternal good mood and the red hair knew they could had been such a good match. He was just five years too short, life could really be unfair.

The other thing which wasn’t helping Joe about forgetting his feelings was how much (Y/N) was a touchy-feely person. She loved hugs and cheek kisses and everything that was friendly and totally innocent but it made Joe shivered every time. The other day, she cheekily pressed a finger on his nose, making a boop noise and Joe almost chocked at the gesture. She didn’t seems to notice how much this simple and childish act had make her friend blushed, Ben had just entered the room and nothing else existed anymore. Usually she only did the nose-boop to her boyfriend, loving to tease him and after that, Joe had think about the meaning, why she was suddenly so friendly ? Did that mean something ? Was he overthinking a stupid think ? He didn’t have the answer and wasn’t sure if he wanted them.

Joe knew he was too deep in with (Y/N) to not fall in love with her, after a year or so, during shooting, trying to repress his feelings for Ben’s girlfriend, it was worse than at the beginning. But during the seven next months, he saw her less, him and the cast were promoting the movie around the world and he didn’t think about her too much. He just knew she was with Ben in Italy for the shooting a new Netflix movie and he honestly thought that he was finally free of these stupid and forbidden feelings for (Y/N). He was so piss off with himself because Ben and (Y/N) were such dear friends to him and he could ruin everything if someone knew his real thoughts about her.

So when Ben invited everyone to celebrate his engagement with (Y/N), Joe was rather confident, his feelings were weaker and almost none existent at this point. Life was good again and he could hang out with his best mates without fearing to spill his feelings for (Y/N). But life wasn’t that easy. He should have know that. As soon as he stepped into the brand new house of Ben and (Y/N), he felt weird. Especially when Gwilym and Rami were doing bets about when (Y/N) would get pregnant. ‘In the next six months!’ Rami seemed very sure of himself and Joe’ stomach twisted uncomfortably. And then he saw her. Well, not really at first because she literally jumped on him, hugging him tightly and rambling about how much she had miss everyone. Her lips pressing in a loud Mwah! on his burning cheek and then she screamed for five minutes straight with Lucy about her engagement ring. The two girls gushing excitedly about how beautiful the jewellery was, looking at it in every angle of light possible, bouncing on their feet like kids in front of a candy shop.

Allen and his wife snorted loudly when Lucy sent a knowing glance to her boyfriend, Rami swallowed nervously at the silent meaning ‘what are you waiting to ask me the same question dumbass ?’ He could swore she actually mouthed the word dumbass.

Joe felt even weirder when he hugged Ben, who was telling him how happy he was to see him. Then the red hair looked back at (Y/N) and the guilt and shame were now very clearly the reason he felt weird. His feelings for (Y/N) hit him like a brick in his stomach, coming back even stronger than before. She was also prettier than he remembered or maybe it was just her glow from her recent engagement that was making her so breath-taking, she was literally shinning. The rest of the evening was blurry for Joe, he drank much more than necessary but it was the only thing he had to survive that night. Especially when Ben and (Y/N) stood up, his arm around her waist as he raised a toast at his future wife, telling everyone how much he loved her and how excited he was to spend the rest of his life with her by his side. The words of Ben weren’t the most painful for him, not even when he talked about having kids with her, no. The worst was the way (Y/N) was looking at him, her head raised toward the blond, eyes glossy and a smile of pure adoration on her features, like he was the only person in the room at this moment. It was love, pure and raw. Ben bowed to give her kiss and she beamed at the gesture, her fingers caressing his cheek so softly that it felt too intimate for Joe to watch. He wanted to do nothing else than go home and cry. And that what he did. After saying he was feeling sick, and it wasn’t a lie, only it wasn’t from the alcohol, but he kept this detail for himself, he left in a Uber and sobbed during all the way back to his place.

Joe made his best to avoid the couple during the next months, he was so ashamed of himself, he was supposed to be happy for his friends, not stupidly jealous. But he didn’t want to raise any suspicion and so he found excuses to not go mostly when (Y/N) was around, focusing on going out with only the boys. He even had a girlfriend! Her name was Molly, she was cute and adorably small and Joe liked her very much, she was really a nice girl. But she wasn’t (Y/N). He felt horrible because he was desperate to have a date at (Y/N) and Ben’s wedding, he couldn’t go alone, he would just break down. That why, when he noticed the way the waitress from his favourite café was looking at him, he asked her for a date. And from there, they started dating, making forget the pain in his heart for few moments.

Exactly eight months after the engagement party, it was the wedding day. Joe was sick, truly sick. The thought of watching the woman he was deeply in love with, marrying one his best friend was making him almost throw up. And he was the best man of Ben, like his life wasn’t enough of a joke but he couldn’t have said no to his friend. Despite being in love with the bride-to-be, he was happy for his friends, it was a bitter-sweet feeling.

“I’m so fucking nervous” Ben breathed as he watched himself in the mirror, straightening his vest for the million times. “What if she don’t come ? Maybe we planned our wedding too fast, maybe she is already far away and I’m gonna end up alone at the altar and–“

“Ben, relax, it’s just the wedding nerves which are talking” Joe put a friendly hand on his shoulder, smiling at him. “She loves you, it easy to see that mate, you and her belong together, she will come today, I promise you that” The red hair added with an emotional voice and Ben shook slowly his head, giving him a grateful smile.

“You’re right, she loves me and today we are going to get married” The blond took a deep breath then a sip of his neat whiskey – to calm his nerves but he was careful to not get drunk either – and readjusted his bow tie with shaky hands. He noticed how Joe discretely wiped his watering eyes and gave him a tight hug. “Don’t start crying now mate or I’m gonna cry too, I can’t go to the altar with puffy eyes” He joked with weak voice, making his best to swallow back his tears.

“I’m just so happy for the both of you” Joe replied with a sad smile. It wasn’t completely the reason for his tears but he wouldn’t never say the truth to Ben. “Let’s get you married, Jones”

"The future bride want to see you, best man" Lucy’s head popped up by the door and smiled fondly at Joe and Ben’s embrace.

"I’m coming" The red hair nodded and patted Ben’ shoulder. "I see you at the altar" He winked at the blond who chuckled lightly, still trying to shake out his nerves.

Joe followed Lucy in a long hallway until (Y/N)’s room. He took a deep breath before entering after the little blond, a bit anxious to see her in her wedding dress.

She was peering at the window, watching the guests walking to their seats for the ceremony. Joe’s breath itched in his throat at the sight. Now he was certain she never had been so stunning. Her white wedding dress was hugging her perfectly and wasn’t too classic, it was a true reflection of (Y/N) personality. She had a light makeup because I’m going to cry anyway! she had say to Lucy with an already glossy gaze. The little blond had left to check if everything was ready for the most important day of her friend. Joe had no idea for how long he stayed quiet, looking at her with pure wonder and so much fondness. The way her brows were frowning just a tad and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth were showing that she was nervous.

"You are beautiful" Joe breathed suddenly like he couldn’t keep it for himself anymore. (Y/N) jumped at the voice and turned around with a light giggle. "Absolutely perfect" It was probably the only day he could give her so deep compliments without seeming too desperately in love with her.

"Thank you Joe" She blushed and made a twirl on herself, making the red hair clapped. "You look good too, very nice suit" She smiled widely, her voice was sweating with excitement.

"Lucy said you wanted to see me ?" In a cheesy romcom it would be the perfect moment for (Y/N) to confess that she couldn’t marry Ben because she was in love with him instead. He would run away with her without a single hesitation, he didn’t care how mean that sounded, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But of course, that wasn’t the reason she called for him. Ben was the reason, her future husband and the love of her life.

"Is he okay ? Still want to marry me, right ?" Her fingers were fidgeting together as she sat on the sofa. "I’m so nervous"

"Ben is in the same state as you (Y/N). He is and I quote so fucking nervous that my ass is literally sweating, Joe, my ass is sweating!" The bride-to-be let out an airy laugh echoed in the room, her eyes glittering with adoration. "So yeah, he is nervous but he is very eager to marry you" Joe murmured, his gaze exploring every inch of her beautiful face, he didn’t want to forget this image.

"That sound like my Benny" She replied with a honey coated voice, her finger playing absent-mindedly with her engagement ring. Soon to be exchange for a wedding one. "I’m so excited Joe and so damn nervous too, what if I tripped on my way to the altar ? Oh my god, this is totally something that could happen to me !" She clasped her hand on her mouth with a loud gasp, her mind racing at the thought.

"I’m sure Ben would still marry you anyway" Joe chuckled and handed her a glass of bubbly champagne. She thanked him quietly and took a little sip, savouring the taste on her tongue. "I never saw you so stress before, you have no reason to doubt about your marriage" He gently rubbed her arm and she sighed deeply, her leg bouncing on the floor.

"I...I’m just...scared" She whispered, her eyes glued on the drink. "Sometimes I feel like Ben shouldn’t be with me, he is a freaking famous actor now and I’m still...me, the old and boring (Y/N)" She sniffled quietly before taking a bigger sip. "I’m afraid, one day he will notice that too, he could have any beautiful model or actress in the world but no, he is still with me and I know he loves me but...he could go for so much better" Her voice broke at the end of her sentence as well as Joe’s heart.

The red hair shook his head and grabbed her shoulders.

"(Y/N), look at me. This is bullshit okay ? Ben is crazy about you and in few minutes he will be waiting for you at the altar, you can’t think like that" She nodded slowly, her chest panting a bit with anxiety. "You are...I don’t even know how to describe how perfect you are, you’re funny and smart and incredibly caring, always brightening the room every time you step inside. And you are so beautiful, I wish you could see yourself the way I — the way Ben see you. He is madly in love with you" (Y/N) froze, blinking furiously and she wasn’t sure if Joe was really speaking about Ben anymore. The look in his eyes...she was sure he didn’t look at Lucy that way.

"Joe..." She didn’t know what she wanted to say or to ask, she was too confused right now.

Joe locked his gaze with her and saw the surprise in her eyes, he could see how she was wondering about his words, almost discovering his dangerous secret. And he never wanted to kiss her so badly before. Her pretty lips, covered in a light shade of pink, shinning and terribly inviting, seemed to call him. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. Instead he cleared his voice and stood up, placing his trembling hands deep in his pockets.

"Sorry I already took too much of your time, I need to go, Ben’s probably waiting for me" He gave her a fake smile and hugged her quickly. "You’re absolutely perfect for each other, stop doubting yourself, okay ?"

She nodded and watched him leaves, her mind clouded with questions. But Lucy came back right after, followed by (Y/N)’s dad and marrying Ben was the only thought floating in her mind.

The ceremony had been beautiful, in a little, cosy garden coated with flowers everywhere. It was like looking at a Disney movie and the bride and groom-to be were definitively looking like a prince and princess at the altar, both of their gazes glossy before the start. When (Y/N) had appear, Ben had gasp loudly, lips pinched together as he tried to shake away the tears. The first row of guest had let out a collective Aaww, all of them melting at the flustered Ben. The wedding symphony was echoing through the garden as (Y/N) walked slowly, her arm crossed tightly with her father’s, an adoring smile only destined to her future husband. Her cheeks were already soaked with tears, happy tears obviously. Joe, as well as Ben, didn’t look away from her for a split second, he couldn’t stop. For a minute it felt like she was walking to him, her glittering eyes looking at him and he smiled sadly, a shaky breath leaving his parted breath because he knew it wasn’t the truth.

That was almost the only thing he remembered from that night, booze helped him forget the rest. The vows had been so deep and sweet toward each other, promising eternal love then the kiss, loving and sweet one, sealing their union and putting definitively Joe out of the game. Which was a stupid thought really, because he never had been in the game to begin with, it always had been (Y/N) and Ben. He was just the idiot who was in love with the last person he should. He watched them all night, twirling together at the rhythm of the music, gazes locked with each other and smiling so widely, it was painful to watch for Joe.

"You’re okay Sweetheart ?" Molly plopped herself in his lap, throwing an arm around his neck as Joe was sitting alone, watching the others danced. He swallowed back a grimace at the nickname Sweetheart. He didn’t like it. The only time he loved it was during a drinking game, when (Y/N) and him were married —meaning they had to drink as much as the other did — and she had a lot of fun calling him Sweetheart during all the evening. Now, in Molly’s mouth, it just sounded stupid.

"I’m great" He replied before stealing another glass of champagne from a waiter. 

"That was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it ?" Molly sighed as she watched the bride and groom sharing a sweet kiss, both of them giggling like kids. "They look so happy together" Ben made (Y/N) twirled on herself before catching her and pushing her flush on his chest, rubbing their noses together.

He hummed in agreement and gave her a light peck on the lips, knowing she was waiting for that. She smiled and blushed before resting her head on his shoulder sighing softly. Joe knew he was very selfish in his relation with Molly, she was clearly into him and, well, him...was trying to forget (Y/N), it wasn’t nice from to not be honest with her but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth.

**

Joe needed to forget about his feelings, it was an emergency now. Ben and her were freaking married, it had to stop. He was decided to. That why he didn’t understand how he could have made the biggest mistake of his life during that evening.

"(Y/N), your tan look so good on you ! I’m super jealous !" Lucy gushed when they all arrived to Gwilym’s new place. "And no bra mark ? Someone had been cheekily topless during her honeymoon" She grinned at (Y/N) who blushed a bit but smirked anyway.

"Believe me or not, most of my clothes disappeared as soon as we arrived in Bali" she giggled and shared an intimate glance with her husband who wasn’t far, listening to the conversation.

"Was too hot for clothes, sunshine" The blond replied and stole a kiss from the newly bride who happily deepened it, making there friends whistled. "And with tits like yours, wearing a bikini top would be a total insult to your body, too pretty for that" He playfully smacked her ass as she gasped loudly, throwing him a shocked look which quickly turned a soft one when he kissed her again and murmured a low I love you.

"Well, I guess your honeymoon went more than great" Gwilym smiled affectionately at the couple, taking a sip of his beer.

"It was perfect" (Y/N) gushed with dreamy eyes as they all walked in the little garden. The weather was really nice and the sky clear, they all sat in the garden chairs, drinks in their hands. Ben made grabby hands toward his wife and she rolled her eyes but sat on his lap anyway. "Silly" She chuckled and nested her head against his neck.

Ben told everyone about the honeymoon, how the place was a real little paradise and Joe was pretending that everything was okay. But it wasn’t. He was ashamed but he couldn’t forget Ben’s words about (Y/N)’s nipples. His thoughts were going wild and it was fucking wrong, his gaze wandering few times on her top, which she was wearing without a bra, letting the shape of her tits visible. Joe swallowed nervously at the sight, cursing himself.

Most of the night went like that, good mood, few drinks and Gwilym ordered pizzas for everyone as they all told each other the last gossips of their respective life. Joe felt lonely. Gwilym was with his fiancée, an arm around her shoulders, Lucy and Rami was cuddling in the bench and (Y/N) was still on Ben’s lap, his arms wrapped around her waist. And Joe was all by himself as Molly had other plans for that night.

Before it was time to go, Joe was in the bathroom, not feeling great. His heart was broken, spending all the evening with the sight of (Y/N) and Ben glued together was painful. And he also had way too much drinks. Spinning head, slurred words and twisted stomach. Pathetic.

"Oh, sorry!" (Y/N) exclaimed when she opened the bathroom door and found Joe, bended above the sink, looking pale. "You’re okay Joe ?" She frowned her brows and entered the bathroom, taking a closer look at her friend.

"Fu...fuckin perfect" He hiccuped before splashing water on his face.

"Someone is very drunk" (Y/N) shook her head with a little smile. "Come on, let’s order you an Uber. We’re all leaving anyway" She slid an arm around his waist when he almost tripped on his own feet, trying to take a step forward.

They slowly walked on the long hallway and Joe was sweating, she never had been so close to him for such a long time. He could feel her breath on his neck and there faces were only few inches from each other.

"Wait, I...give me a minute, m’ not feeling great" He laid against the wall, his eyes closed and took deep breath, doing his best to not vomit. "Fuck, my head" He whined, everything was spinning around and he hated that sensation.

"Joe, are you going to throw up ? Should I get Gwil ? You look really pale !" She bowed her head a little, reached eyes level with him and looked at him through her eyelashes.

"I just need a second" Joe protested, his heart beating furiously in his chest at the closeness with the woman he was in love with. Her pretty eyes was making him weak on his knees and the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy, suddenly he wasn’t feeling so sick anymore.

"You’re sure ? You don’t look—" Joe couldn’t take it anymore and in a very stupid and drunk gesture, he grabbed her neck and crushed his lips against her.

**

Tag list :  @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows