#being raised in a catholic boy school

[alvadee]

I've said it before but I know my boy Vic had a ton of catholic guilt and it's so wild to get these random details even about his mom so many years later

[barksbog]

one of my favorite games to play with my friends is called "find him"

the way it works is:

i pull up austrian houses for sale

stream it to friends (photos are fine but 3D tours are obviously the best)

than we just look through trying to find the cruzifix boy.

when we locate him we all yell "THERE HE IS" "I FOUND HIM" ect.

optional: i will wiggle my mouse cursor over him while my friends point at their screens

that´s it. that´s the game!

a word of warning tho: you may encounter weird houses that haunt you like the "barn cube" and "red roof/wall/gutters kitchen utensil nightmare"

[edwinisms]

see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept

[maidservant-hecubus]

My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. His parents were first generation Americans. Their parents escaped the pogroms in Russia and Ukraine and came to find their American dream. They fought in wars and opened businesses and assimilated and my generation barely has a few words of Yiddish between us. My mother is as much of a WASP as it gets. American Revolutionaries and Signers and some household name civil war feature players. Not old money, but old America and undoubtedly white. I'm patrilineal. Not a Jew to a lot of Jews. Not a Jew to a lot of my Jewish family. Even though i was raised Jewish. Even though I look like my father. Even though i got enough of something in my DNA to get asked "What are you?" more often than not. More often than I'm just accepted at face value as "white". When i was little we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Like the 5-10 kids in every family sort of Irish catholic neighborhood. The kids calling me a christ killer and refusing to play with me because they heard it from their parents sort of irish catholic neighborhood. For some reason my parents tried to send me to the catholic school down the street. I lasted less than a week because i didn't understand their rituals and their language and they found out my father was a Jew and they couldn't have a christ killer in their midst. I was just sad i didn't get to wear the cute plaid skirt anymore. So i went to the public school and my well meaning shiksa mother who never converted but learned the Chanukah prayers and helped cook Seder dinners came to the school to teach the class about Chanukah. She taught them songs and all the kids got dreidels and had so much fun spinning the top for chocolate coins. It was nice to feel normal. A few weeks later a boy in a higher grade attacked me on the way to the bus and smashed my art project (we had made pig noses from solo cups to celebrate reading charlotte's web) into my face and called me a filthy jew. I didn't understand, i was more upset to lose the project i was so proud of. Other things happened. Things I wont talk about because putting them in context would doxx me. But a million reminders that i wasn't one of them. I wasn't welcome because i was Jewish. My parents divorced. My mother left. Far away so I'd only see her a handful of times growing up. And I went to live with my Dad in a city that seemed like it was overflowing with Jews. Everyone knew my holidays! In public school the teachers looked like my family and had familiar sounding names. We had the high holy days off just like christmas or easter. We sang Chanukah songs in the winter recital and nobody's mom had to come teach them to the class. Finally I belonged! My friends and cousins started planning for their b mitzvah celebrations and i asked for my own. I asked to go to hebrew school so i could be more like the people i belonged with and celebrate the things i loved about myself and them. "But you're not jewish." My father would say. This was news to me. The christ killer. The filthy jew. But a 10 year old has little power over their lives. So i didn't go. I didn't have a bat mitzva while my cousins had theirs. It was okay because i still belonged more than i ever had. But i was still jewish enough to keep the holidays and pray and fast and get sent with a box of matzo to my WASP grandmothers for easter, and have matzo packed in my lunch to eat in AP algebra in 7th grade and get asked if I'm a "Yid" by the teacher. And still to this day not know if it was endearment or insult but by then I knew even in this magical city being a Jew wasn't always safe. in highschool I tried to take hebrew lessons with a friend in a similar situation as me. She was also hungry to reconnect. I don't remember why the classes or the friendship fell through, but they did. My next "friend", a goy raised catholic from another neighborhood, liked to accuse me of being money driven when i picked up a penny on the sidewalk or tried to ask who was going to pay for the zine's she wanted to publish.

 "What are you?" I'd get asked a lot on the street by curious strangers, "Where are you from?" "Are you Italian?" Always Italian. I never really understood that, but its become code in my head for "You look like you're white but something about you is very not white and I just can't place it, so Italian seems safe and polite." I'm not here to unpack the Italian part of all that. I don't even know what I'm unpacking for myself by writing this except I've been sick for days and I'm so tired and this is all that my foggy brain can wrap itself around. Later I'm an adult and on my own and getting bloodwork done. The Nurse is a black woman and so sweet to me. She can tell I'm nervous about the needles because I've already stumbled through my apologies for my herd to find veins. So she distracts me with small talk. Where do i live? I tell her. She looks worried for me. Tells me that it used to be a nice neighborhood before white people took it over and she warns me like she's my own mother to be careful because they aren't safe. I doublecheck the skin she's putting a needle into. Whatever she sees isn't white. I love her for it. For a moment I belong there with her. She doesn't ask what I am or where i'm from, but she knows what i'm not. I'm the only one keeping the holidays with my family. We celebrate Passover because I go home to my fathers and cook the dinner and print out the Haggadah and lead the Seder to the tune of my drunk catholic stepmother eating my food and telling me i'll never be a jew. She's more of a jew than I'll ever be because she grew up in a jewish neighborhood and her friends were all jews and she married a jew and i was just playing pretend. I stopped going home for holidays and they stopped observing anything except Christmas. I marry a goy. "Is he a jew?" is the first thing my father asks and he's disappointed when i say no. He's abusive, i run. I end up living in the attic of this older old money WASP couple who need a live in house sitter. They're pillars of their church and they know someone from the WASP side of my family very well and its a funny coincidence and they think i belong there. I know from their divest from Israel bumper stickers that i don't. Then they find out I consider myself Jewish and i see the light in their eyes die and its replaced by something hard and disappointed. Now, while writing this, i can laugh about being the jew in someone's attic. But then, it was only a few months after that they started coming up with excuses for why I needed to move out. I did, their excuses never manifested into reality. I got married again. A jew this time! a Jewish medical professional liek grandma always wanted. She's a convert and her ex was a rabbinical student. I think maybe i'm home finally. She has to understand. I'm not Jewish enough for her. We don't keep holidays at home because i'm not a jew. I cry every year when pesach comes and goes and i haven't recited the plagues or eaten matzo piled high with horseradish. She insists on putting up a christmas tree. She turns abusive. I run.

I'm alone now and no longer in that magic jewish city. I'm far away and surrounded by mega churches and cows and the bagels suck and people quote the bible at me like some call and response that i don't have the cheat code for and I don't belong here at all but i'm finally finally free to light my menorah and recite the plagues and study torah with the group i found here on tumblr who love and accept me even though i'm patrilineal. Oct. 7th happened a few weeks after I moved here. I worry about my family back home and i think no one will look for Jews here among the cows and mega churches, so I can be a safe place for them to run if things get bad again. But i still don't fit in here. I don't look right. The last name I have now is common here and too white for whatever people see when they look in my face. I get interrogated about it a lot. But i learned quickly how to smile and say "have a blessed day". I hide my menorah when maintenance comes to work on my apartment. I flew home last month. Just for a visit. I've never been away from home this far or this long. And I'm the type that covers nerves and anxiety with chattiness, so at the airport i made a for-now-friend while we both waited for the plane to board. She's Puerto Rican. We talk about our lives. Our families. Her twin sister and i go by the same nickname and so we're family now. We talk about food. So much food and how much we love cooking and how important food was at home. "Are you Italian?" she asks as we're stepping through the hatch into the plane. Why always Italian? I wonder for the millionth time in my life. And I freeze up for a moment between fighting my carry-on over the gap and terror that I'm about to see the light go out behind her eyes and i'll lose this for-now friend. "No," i laugh but its not a real laugh and i see the concern in her face as we squeeze through the aisle because she can hear the apprehension in my voice, "I'm Jewish." And something strange happened because her face lit up and she smiled and said "No way?! You guys have GREAT food!"

[avelera]

This is obviously my personal opinion, but my one hot take about fem!Jayce is that I see a lot of takes where fem Jayce is butch, even though Jayce even as a man is not butch. Jayce is clean-cut and a people pleaser who is trying to look socially acceptable for his billionaire patron and society in general. It's not that he doesn't have vanity, but his specific style of grooming and dress tells me a different story, personally.

1 ) First, take Jayce's two outfits we ever see him wearing in S1. He has 1) His Academy Uniform and 2) His House Colors. That's it. He is either presenting himself as a member of academia, which has a distinct Piltover uniform, or as a representative of his family's name and legacy. Jayce presents himself specifically as a particular flavor of, "What a nice young man!"

2 ) Jayce keeps his hair neatly cropped short and shaves every day, we can tell he does because he has a five o clock shadow he can't get rid of but it never grows beyond that until he's trapped in the future. This, to me, isn't vanity or at least it's not individualistic vanity. This is the patented, "What a nice young man!" haircut that a lot of guys who don't otherwise care about their appearance default to, ie, regular barber visits and wearing a suit, always being well groomed. He's not a jock, he's a choir boy.

Basically, my take on fem!Jayce would be in line with this. That would mean fem!Jayce would have:

Muscles. Yes, obviously, you can't be Jayce without them and fem Jayce works in the forge too. But it's a popular misconception that strong women are always butch or buff or that weight training bulks you up as a woman. It doesn't, not unless you deliberately pursue that look, it actually slims you down and means you leaner for the most part. In my mind, fem!Jayce is just as muscled as Vi but like Vi, that doesn't mean she's bulky.

Fem!Jayce is trying to be socially acceptable. That means, fem!Jayce dresses feminine and probably "preppy" by our standards. As we see time and again, Piltover has a surprisingly strict gender expression divide, it puts its women in dresses and skirts, even its Enforcer women, just look at Caitlyn's first uniform! For fem!Jayce again, think perfect Catholic choir girl, professional but demur dresses, possibly covering up the forge muscles and the breadth of her shoulders with long sleeved cuts (Jayce always wears his suits buttoned to the wrist and throat, and he doesn't show skin except in the forge, think fem!Jayce in a sports bra only while working there). I genuinely think you'd see fem!Jayce in a lot of skirts and dresses to play up her femininity, likely in House Talis white and as a student always wearing her perfectly maintained school uniform. Again, think the good Catholic schoolgirl look, because the good Catholic schoolboy is actually closest to how Jayce presents as a student.

For hair, think the perfect preppy feminine image, shoulder-length, well-maintained hair with a slight wave in it from a daily blowout, tasteful understated makeup, nails always clean and perhaps painted specifically to hide traces of grime from the forge. This isn't about individuality it's about the Socially Acceptable Ideal and fem!Jayce is being a good respectable girl for her widowed mother and so she can keep her billionaire patrons happy and pursue her dream of Hextech.

Anyway, there I go rambling again and because I'm not an artist I can only describe it and not draw the vision lol. But personally, I see fem!Jayce as more Wicked's Glinda than blacksmith or jock, because Jayce doesn't present as a blacksmith except in private or as a jock ever, and he's a nice boy raised by a single mother and wants to make her and his patrons proud so he can pursue his dream.

He's also likely the first of his family to go to the Academy, "nothing much was expected of him" so that also adds pressure to conform to a "Nice Young Man" image and I think fem!Jaye would also present as the "Nice Young Lady" preppy, feminine version of that image.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Fun adventures for Luce and friends to have:

-get traumatized by the threat of eternal torture

-be trained to dehumanize people (including herself) to the point she thinks they actually deserve eternal torture

-become indoctrinated into indefensible nonsense at an age too young to reason, backed up with the threat of a fate worse than death to keep her from thinking her way out later in life

-give up her hard-earned money to a ludicrously wealthy organization who preaches modesty and poverty while hoarding and displaying obscene wealth

-learn to dehumanize and hate LGBTQIA people for traits they have no control over

-be taught that being a girl makes her inferior to boys

-get abused in a Catholic orphanage or school

-get sexually assaulted by the priest she was raised to see as trustworthy, then watch him receive no punishment. Bonus: get blamed for causing trouble and spreading lies when she tries to get help

-get killed and buried in an unmarked mass grave behind a residential school

Feel free to suggest your own, I'm sure I missed plenty of other atrocities.

[morganski-19]

part 1, part 2, part 3

Wayne stays at the hospital longer than he should. Rubbing his fingers along Eddie’s pick necklace like a rosary. Hoping that if he just prays hard enough, if his voice can be heard, Eddie will wake up. 

The prognosis isn’t great. Each day that passes marks another day where his chances of waking up get lower. Even though many people have woken up from medically induced comas much later than this. According to the doctors. According to the pamphlets given to him at the start of all of this shit. But those are just words. Words he doesn’t believe fully. 

Six days with no changes. No improvement. Just a tube to make sure he’s breathing regularly and an IV to make sure he doesn’t die of dehydration or starvation. The doctors say that his brain still shows activity, and his heart hasn’t missed a beat since he was last revived. Eddie’s alive, but just how much?

How much longer will Wayne sit in this agony waiting for him to wake up? Or how long until the string of hope just ends six feet under? 

Religion was something that Wayne dealt with sporadically. He was raised Catholic, sort of still is a practicing Catholic. Goes to church when he isn’t too tired, still prays, and goes to confession sometimes. Just didn’t always make sense. But now, it’s all he’s got. 

Eddie’s in God’s hands now. Whether that’s the God in the Bible, or some other deity of the many other religions in the world, Wayne doesn’t care anymore. As long as he’s heard, and this being knows his boy is good. That he was taken far too soon. 

Eddie liked to say there was nothing much for him past high school. That he was going to run out of town as soon as he could and fight to make something of himself. Be a struggling musician, find odd jobs. Anything to keep him out of the monotony of a corporate job. Get him away from the conservative views and stuffiness of this town. Somehow get big enough to prove them all that he wasn’t a failure. Or never come back to prove them all right. 

It would be a sad day when Eddie finally left for good. The trailer would seem empty without the life that Eddie brought. The peace and quiet that Wayne always asked for not bringing any peace because it was too damn quiet. He knew this now because it’s what’s keeping him here each day. 

The beeping of the heart monitor was like the heart beating in his chest. Some noise came from Eddie to prove that he was alive. Almost like he was acting himself again. The motel room he was staying in was too quiet. No music down the hall, no clanking around the kitchen, no yelling at the TV or a book. Just the occasional noise if there were neighbors and people driving to the hospital. It was all the wrong noise, though. 

“Excuse me,” a nurse says as she enters the room. “Visiting hours are over, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Wayne nods, getting up from his chair. Back screaming as it pops itself back into place. It’s his day off, or night off tonight, so he can actually sleep. If it ever comes to him. Might be one of those nights where the ceiling and him have a staring contest. He’s been close, but never quite won one of those yet. 

The Chief’s car sits outside of the motel as Wayne pulls up. It’s only been a day since they spoke last, there can’t be that many updates. Wayne can’t think of any other reason he’s here. 

Wayne invites him into the motel room, the urge to offer him a drink screaming at him, but he has none to give. Hospitality doesn’t come with the room fees. 

“I’m guessing there’s something new, that’s why you're here.”

“Not necessarily. I’m still trying, but until the one guy I normally negotiate with comes out of hiding, that’s when the real talking happens.”

Wayne sits down on one of the chairs, too tired to keep standing. “Why’re you here then?”

“To check on you. I know the hospital life well. It’s no picnic, especially if you’re doing it alone.” He pulls another one of the chairs over to sit down. 

There’s no lie in that. “I’m about as good as anyone could think.”

The Chief pulls two beers out from under his coat, handing one to Wayne. He takes it faster than any beer he has in his life. Pulling out his pocket knife to take off the cap. 

“How long till that friend of yours comes out of hiding?”

Hopper shrugs. “Don’t know. Sent him a few threatening letters, and he still owes me one, so we’ll see. If things were better here, I’d go hunt the man down myself.”

Wayne nods. The company’s nice, he can’t lie. Sitting in solidarity with someone who knows what you’ve been through. Making sure nothing’s going worse than it already is. Like a sponsor through the hospital proceedings. 

When the sun finally finishes setting, the chief excuses himself. Not before handing Wayne a slip of paper with his number on it, just in case anything happens. 

The more days go by, the more Wayne is reminded that he’s not alone in this. Not fighting this battle alone. People believe him, more than just kids. People with influence. It shows in how people keep coming in and out of the hospital room. Saying how they know he’s innocent. That he’s guilty of some things, but not this. 

It makes him think back to that afternoon, snapping at the Harrington kid. It’s so easy to be angry at people who are better off, in so many ways, that vision gets blinded. Seeing someone who went through something similar to Eddie get out, and be conscious while his boy is still asleep. Probably will never have to worry about hospital bills and medical debt. It makes him angry. 

Even if the kid doesn’t deserve it. Wayne has no clue who this kid is and how he knows Eddie. Why he claims to have been there in the week Eddie was missing. What it all means. It doesn’t make any sense. None at all. 

But then the next morning when he’s getting coffee, there’s the kid again coming in beside Dustin. Talking to someone at the front desk before heading down the hall. Right to the elevator, and up to the floor Eddie’s on. 

Wayne heads back to the room, ready to kick him out again or apologize. He’s not sure yet. But, the room is empty. Steve is instead down the hall, talking to Susan Mayfield. Looking serious as hell, and halfway ready to cry. 

Another kid comes out of the room, one who’s stopped by a few times to check on Eddie. Lucas, Wayne thinks is his name. Remembers it only because Eddie had ranted a few times about some kid named Lucas trying to be on both the basketball team and part of the Dragons club. 

The kid says something to Steve before he’s being wrapped in a hug and starts crying. Steve just holding him as this kid breaks down. Presumably about the person behind those doors. Wayne assumes it’s probably Susan’s kid. Remembers hearing that she was in bad shape. Hopefully, that didn’t get any worse. 

Wayne returns to his room, not wanting to intrude. A nurse comes in a while later and asks him to step out for a bit. 

“What for?”

“Eddie’s breathing has improved over the last twenty-four hours. The doctor came in to check on him early this morning, and said that if by noon it was the same, the breathing tube could come out.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Wayne’s hesitant to believe anything these days. 

The nurse nods. “As long as his oxygen levels stay, well level, then yes. It means that his body is well on the way to recovery.”

Wayne nods, taking his coffee to the waiting room. There, he just waits.

Next part

Note: The next part of this will get a bit interesting. I've been having ideas for a while now of making this duel POV between Wayne and someone else, maybe Steve. Mainly because I keep thinking of conversations that would happen, but Wayne would be nowhere to witness it. But I think what this fic needs is a POV not directly in the main relationship that will be happening, to keep it an outsider POV fic. So I'm thinking that the second POV would be from either Robin or Dustin. I'm currently deciding between the two so let me know what you think. I'm also going to start posting this to ao3, and will provide the link to that once I think of a title. I will continue to post the smaller parts here on tumblr, and you will not be missing out on any of the story if you only follow it on here. For now all of the parts will also have the tag #morgan's wayne POV. If that changes, as it probably will since this is no longer just a wayne POV fic, I will let you know. Also, Max is alive, they just got a heavy diagnosis that you will learn of later.

tag list, let me know if you want to be added or removed: @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar, @tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda, @fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77, @here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium, @resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly, @gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight, @devondepresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug, @greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake, @morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs

[hihomeghere]

Modern BF!Javier Escuella. Capricorn ♑️ • Is that guy who if he sees a guitar at a party he will start playing it • If he gets a call from one of his family members expect him to be on the phone for the next three hours • Mama’s boy! • Baby, sweetheart, my love • Will flirt with you and be surprised when you flirt back • Stronger than he looks, will throw you over his shoulder if you’re being a ‘brat’ • Thought about becoming a singer, but doesn’t have enough confidence in himself. Still loves to make up songs • Thinks sitting on a dock for seven hours is a date. Will take you fishing whenever you want • Giggly drunk! • Weather wuss, says he’s ’not made for the cold!’. Will stick his hands under your shirt to warm up • Used to spend the summers on his tio’s ranch • Huge klepto, you’ll lose a jacket or shirt and catch him wearing it two weeks later • Loves to go thrifting, but ends up spending more money than he should because it’s ‘cheaper’ • Always goes to midnight mass every Christmas with his mamá, even if he doesn’t want to • Did play guitar for/at you on your first date • Raised Catholic • Is very meticulous about his face and hair routine. Never skips it, has a million different products • Has tattoos but hides them every time he does to his parents house • English was his best class in high school • Will not confess he likes you first, you’ll have to do that • Likes to cum on you • Loves to smack your ass

[demiromanticmickey]

On today's "I am SO not normal about Dead Friend Forever": Discussing Catholicism and Colonization in this gay Thai slasher series

Some background on me: I am from a Latine Catholic family. Raised as a non-practicing Catholic (we didn't go to church or pray). Then my parents enrolled me in a Catholic school that I attended from 5th grade to the end of 7th grade. Today, I am not Catholic and have never really considered myself as such.

Ok, so in the flashback episodes of DFF, I have been noticing a lot of things. My findings under the cut.

Let's start with this crucifix and photo of the Virgin Mary and a baby Jesus.

Screenshot from ep. 5.

The camera lingers here a bit so we're obviously meant to pay attention to the phrase. I put the screenshot through Google translate's image translator and the translation it gave me was, "Think good, do good, be a good person." I didn't think much of it when I first watched the episode other than it was supposed to establish that the boys attend a Christian or Catholic school.

But then there was this image posted on Be On Cloud's Instagram (also from ep. 5): X

Zooming in, we can see there's another picture of Mary in the background. Watching the classroom scenes, it's easy to miss because the series itself is more washed out than the official photos posted. But this emphasis on Mary led me to believe the school is a Catholic one. So out of curiosity, I looked up the schools the writers and directors attended because I felt I was onto something here. And boy, was I!

Source: MDL

Ma-Deaw, if you didn't know, is one of the directors of Dead Friend Forever (he also directed Manner of Death and Inhuman Kiss , and lots of other things).

One Google search later (X) and I learned "Montfort College" is a Catholic school. It started out as a primary school that later added a secondary school as well.

Now let's take a closer look at some of the details of this school:

First, the school's motto "Labor Conquers All Things". This reminded me of the phone conversation Tee had with his uncle:

On my first watch, this sounded familiar to me but I couldn't really place why. It wasn't until I saw this other Tumblr post (X) that pointed out it's similar to a bible quote from the New Testament. The quote varies a bit depending on which version of the bible you're using but it's along the lines of, "He who does not work, neither shall he eat".

This is meant to discourage "laziness". Nevermind the fact that people deserve to eat simply because we get hungry and need food to survive. The idea that we only "deserve" things based on productivity is an extremely colonial one. — Reminder also that Tee is being forced into this "work" in the first place. He's just a high school kid. I don't need to like his character to understand how fucked up his situation is.

Then there's the patron of the school. St. Louis de Montfort was a French Catholic priest most known for his study in Mariology. What is Mariology (X)? The study of Mary, the mother of Jesus. I didn't know that was a thing but it's unsurprising considering how prominent images of Mary were in my own religious upbringing. And she's what started me down this rabbit hole in the first place. Mary is a big deal to the Catholics. I'm going to be paying even more attention now if more Mary imagery pops up.

The Garden of Eden and Original Sin

Now I want to draw attention to these images:

Screenshots from ep. 7

Here we have Non and Phee biting into an apple as they leisure around this lush green field. We know they've visited this location more than once because they're wearing different outfits in the screenshots. And I think it's important to note that it's Phee holding the apple and offering it to Non.

The use of the word "bait" in the bts of ep. 7 is quite interesting too. (X)

The Garden of Eden was the paradise in which Adam and Eve resided. In this garden, there were many trees to eat from. The one tree Adam and Eve were forbidden by God to eat from was the Tree of Knowledge. A serpent (Satan), first tempted Eve into taking from the tree to eat it's fruit. And then Eve gave the fruit to Adam. That is Original Sin. And because Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, all humans thereafter are born sinful and bad, and can only find salvation through God.

Of course in the scene between Phee and Non, the sin the apple represents is being gay. And it's after this, and after the bracelet scene, that Non becomes involved with Por's film and his tragedy begins.

Zoomed in screenshot from ep. 5

And I wonder if the bracelet scene is the last time Phee and Non visit this forest location. It would parallel how Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden once they sinned.

Final Thoughts

You give me a story that criticizes Western religion and how it's used as a tool for oppression and colonization, and I'm gonna eat that shit up. I am gonna eat it up. Every. Single. Time.

I really wasn't expecting anything like this from Dead Friend Forever. This level in attention to detail is unmatched. I don't think I've watched a more well planned out show. And no matter where DFF goes from here, these seven episodes will always hold a special place in my heart. 💗

[rosedpetal]

Let's Try Something New

Summary: Outraged by the horrible smut you were reading, Robert shows you how BDSM really is.

Pairing: Robert Chase x Wife!Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: smut, light bdsm (sorry if it's inaccurate, I'm just a vanilla girl)

Masterlist

You loved him with all your heart.

Not only that, he was a dream come true. Tall, handsome, blonde, broad and with a heart of gold. If Robert was a dog, he'd be a damn golden retriever. With his innocent blue eyes and easy smiles and suffocating affection.

To his friends and colleagues, your husband was the personification of a boy-next-door type, now turned a man with a license to practice medicine. Everything that was probably expected from him when he was young.

He was raised as a Catholic, for fucks sake, even taking the lengths of beginning his studies at seminary school when he was sixteen. Everything in him screamed safe.

You thought it was ironic.

Robert wasn't one to criticize your choice of entertainment, and he secretly knew you've read a lot of smutty books and fanfics on Tumblr. Apparently it was a popular thing amongst women. He's heard nurses talking (and they talked too damn much).

It happened while you were showering, washing your hair throughly, blissful unaware of the fact that Robert saw your book unattended in the coffee table and his curiosity took the best of him. A little peek wouldn't hurt, right?

He flicked through the pages, snorting at how inaccurate and unrealistically these scenes were written. Not only he knew the anatomy and biology like a pro (he was a doctor!) but he used to practice the very same stuff that was so poorly written in your pretentious little book.

It was all so-wrong.

He was so immersed in the horrors he was reading that he didn't notice you walking to the kitchen with a towel in your head and wearing your pajamas, ready to cook dinner. You thought it was weird, usually, he'd acknowledge you first thing. When you turned to look at him, you finally realized, in absolute horror, that he was reading the book you bought on Amazon days ago.

"Rob!" You let out a sound that resembled a squeal. "What are you doing?"

He looked up at you, trying to fight his smirk.

"Is this the kind of educational literature you buy with my hard earned money?"

Your face flushed with embarassment.

"Hey! I bought this with my money! And that's besides the point, I told you before to not snoop on my stuff."

"Because you're embarrassed of it?

"I-" You stopped yourself, feeling your cheeks redden even more.

"I'm not mad that you're reading erotica. But babe, this is so poorly written. I'm actually disappointed." He put the book back on the coffee table, crossing his arms and looking at you. "It's all a load of bull-"

"Because it's kinky? Because it's BDSM?" You knew you were being defensive, but you couldn't help it.

"No. Because this stuff is not BDSM. This author has no idea what they're talking about and is trying to use the practice of BDSM to write their rapey scenes."

You tilted your head to the side. "Are you an expert on BDSM now?" Your eyes widened as you saw your very innocent husband's expression change to slight amused. Oh my-

"I've practiced it, years ago."

You couldn't believe it.

And he kept on rambling: "Well, first of all, BDSM is not something used to subdue women. Or to force kinky practices or shit like that. I mean, where's the fucking safe word here?"

"I'm sorry, when did your BDSM practice happen? Between leaving seminary and going to med school or..?" You couldn't help the question.

He scoffed at your little jab.

"Just let me know if you wanna see for yourself what the real thing is."

That had you speechless.

He was groping you aggressively, your little movie night turned into a heavy making out session the minute the credits started rolling in the screen. You whined, your breathing mixed, your cotton clothed core rubbing shamelessly against the tent in his sweatpants.

With an arm wrapped around your waist, he quickly rolled you, your back pressing on the couch as he towered over you.

He kissed down your neck, lips trailing butterfly kisses on your feverish skin.

"I wanna try."

He froze. "Try what?"

You rolled your eyes. "You know what. BDSM. Now."

He sighed, pulling back and sitting on the couch. "Babe, it doesn't work this way."

"Come again?"

"Honey, we have to talk about this first. Do you know what BDSM stands for? What are your limits? We have to establish a safe word, or if we'll use the color system..."

You sit up, trying not to sound frustrated. "Okay, Mr. expert in BDSM. Just tell me you think I'm too vanilla to handle it."

Robert rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with being vanilla."

"I can be kinky!"

"Do you want this to prove a point or are you really interested?"

"I'm interested. I wanna know if my smutty books are really that shitty."

He snorted at that, brushing a strand of hair off your face. "You're okay with being tied up?"

"Yes."

"And blindfolded?"

"Yes."

"Can you choose a safeword for me?"

"Cookie?"

"Oh, I'd love one."

"Robert!"

"Sorry, baby... Okay, let's take this to the bedroom, okay?"

He followed you inside your shared bedroom, rummaging through a drawer on his nightstand and grabbing a medium box.

You probably looked funny, sitting in bed, half naked and politely waiting for Robert to get whatever he had planned for you. He grabbed a pair of handcuffs and in a very serious tone, said:

"Lay down and put your wrists above your head."

You obeyed, feeling the cold metal close around your wrists, safely tied around the headboard. You couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle.

"Don't go Gerald's Game on me, please."

Robert's eyes lit up a little. You were so cute. He wanted to ruin you.

"Take your mind off everything else, and close your eyes for me, beautiful."

Unconsciously, you rubbed your thighs together. That voice and that accent? Should be illegal. The way he called you beautiful as he put a blindfold on you? Completely evil.

Robert hummed to himself as he dimmed the lights of the room and turned up the thermostat. He walked back to you, sitting down next to you, slowly trailing his fingertips on your body. You actually shivered, despite the room temperature.

He kissed down your body. Your neck, collarbones, your bare chest, your navel... Just as he was about to reach your panties, he kissed the way up again, wrapping an arm around you and lifting your torso slightly to kiss you.

It was surprisingly gentle, but still breathtaking, nonetheless. His lips slowly moved against yours, his tongue slowly making its way between your lips, and you let out a little whimper while he kissed you. He pulled back, his warm breath on you as his thumb brushed your swollen lips.

Then, the dance of kissing your body returned. This time, he gently bit on your nipple, giving your breast a small squeeze, lowering his mouth and licking your clothed core. It was embarrassing how soaked through you were, your panties ruined as he hooked his finger on the elastic and pushed the fabric to the side, his tongue finally making contact with your poor pussy.

"Open your mouth for me." He demanded in a rough tone and as soon as you obeyed, he stick two fingers inside your mouth. You moisted them with your saliva, and he retreated them, only to gently push them inside of you moments later.

Your chest was heaving as he kissed and sucked on your clit, rolling his tongue, curling his fingers inside you, the wet sounds music to his ears.

"Ow!" You gasped in surprise when he slapped your clit.

"Color?"

"Green..."

"Are you sure?"

"I was just surprised, okay? Green."

He chuckled as he could hear the pout in your voice, giving you another open finger slap on your swollen clit, his other hand scissoring you, making you arch your back.

Just as you were about to orgasm, he stopped.

"Wha-Why would you do that?" You asked, in an indignant tone.

"You didn't ask for permission, princess."

"Can I please, come?"

"You have to learn how to address me, too." Robert hummed, getting off the bed and taking off his pants, stroking himself. "Can you do that for me, honey? How do you call me when you're at my mercy like a whore?"

God, you knew you were gonna lose your goddamn mind.

"Hmmm, Sir?"

"That'll do for now." He says, towering over you, spreading your legs, making your stomach tighten with anticipation.

He aligned his tip in your wet entrance, his breath becoming irregular. Slowly, he rolled his hips, hands on your waist as he fucked you. The bed creaked slightly under your bodies, and he hiked your leg up, kissing your calf, never stopping.

"You always feel so good." He admits in a gruff tone, holding your leg against his chest as you desperately tried not to scream. "I can never get enough of you, baby girl."

"Sir, I need to come, please, please, can I come?" You cried out, already feeling it.

He'd let it slide this time. You were a beginner, after all.

"Yes, baby. Come for me. Show me what I do to you."

You clamped violently around him, squelching, wet walls milking his length, and he picked up his pace, the sound of your moans, your orgasm, all too much. His whole body tensed up as he spilled inside you, groaning, gently pulling out moments later.

He released your sore wrists from the handcuffs, taking the blindfolds off your eyes.

"That wasn't so bad." You jested, throat dry.

"Yeah, just you wait when I introduce you to the flogger."

The blush on your cheeks was rewarding as he pulled you in his arms again.

[mochinomnoms]

How do you think explaining Christmas would go down with the boys? I'm specifically looking at Krampus, cause the holiday is all about joy and hope and lights and and giving, and then there's just this half goat demon man that will stuff you in a sack and torture you for Your Sins.

The story of Krampus is actually really metal tbh. There was this evil butcher that killed, chopped, and salted these three kids that were hanging outside his shop, and then St. Nicholas came along and uses the Power Of God to commit actual fucking necromancy to bring the kids back to life. God then cursed this butcher to follow around St. Nich as a punisher that comes around every December 5. The French call him "the whipping father" it's fucking insane actually.

Some of the holiday is also a little weird when you put it into perspective, like: oh yeah, there's this red guy that you write letters to and then he breaks into your house and you leave an offering of milk and cookies for him in exchange for candy and gifts :D! He also has flying reindeer with very cute names btw! But we're not going to talk about that actually cause now we have to decorate this whole ass pine tree that I brought into ramshackle :D it's gonna be great! :D

Bro imagine giving them advent calendars! Those little ones with the small toys or chocolates- give one to Riddle he needs one. Lots of sugar intake to catch up on

🦩

To be real, I was raised very Catholic (ew) and traditionally Mexican so my Christmas stuff is very different from what you see on TV and like in Hallmark movies.

So like, we celebrated it as a religious holiday, so the Santa stuff is kinnda foreign to me, I only heard about it from school. We still got presents and stuff, but I remember doing Posadas, which is children reenacting the Mary and Joseph seeking shelter by going to houses and singing and asking for shelter. At the end we go to one of the parents' houses or to the church and have a little party! We also didn't really decorate like I've seen in American homes, we had like a cute tree usually, but mostly decorated the altars to La Virgen and the Nativity scene.

The biggest difference I've found is that we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve instead; we had Nochebuena, so we'd go to midnight mass, have dinner, and at midnight we open presents. Technically, kids didn't get presents because of Santa or anything like that, we got it cause kids get gifts like how the three kings gave baby Jesus presents. Though that also is a different winter holiday in January or February, not sure. When I got older my family started getting more Americanized, and my brothers got the whole Santa deal, but we still did a lot of the church stuff.

Considering that there is no mention of any sort of religious institution in Twisted Wonderland, I imagine my explanation of Christmas would be very foreign. Though Noble Bell College basically being Notre Dame in the Masquerade event and Rollo practically inventing Catholic guilt in a world without Catholics has some implications? I actually don't think there is any mention of any deities that the cast or world in general worship, though perhaps it's implied with Hades? He's not referred to as God of the Underworld though, he's King so maybe??

This got off-topic, but I like to think any explanation of traditions from back home is fascinating to the boys! And there's a lot of winter holidays besides Christmas and Las Posadas, I mean Hanukkah is big and Yule is reemerging as people learn more about where traditions from Christmas comes from.

If you're like me and have a religious aspect to your winter holidays, I think they're curious about it and asking all sorts of questions! If you had the more traditional American Christmas, then they're super curious about the whole Santa deal! Like, they thought you said your world didn't have magic, so what's with this magically man in a red suit and white beard?

(Also, I don't know what advent calendars are, they have candy I'm guessing? If it's a calendar, then I'm safe to assume it's like a count-down to Christmas day?)

[escapaldi]

#everyday i unwillingly learn something abt law that makes me kin him more

you can't hide in the tags what everyone's thinking

One lighthearted note of Law's backstory is that he was raised Catholic. Which means that Oda made catholicism Canon in his wacky pirate adventure. And I think that's hilarious.

I thought about the fact Law was raised catholic and went to a catholic school (as someone who did the same) but just now i realise that fucking makes Jesus canon in the One Piece universe

[cackled0g]

Assorted headcanons about the L4D2 Survivors

Nick

-Heavy smoker, used to be a heavy drinker but I think by the point the apocalypse happens he's eased back on the drinking.

-Aside from being skilled at gambling and conning people, I think he's also got a talent for sleight-of-hand tricks and picking pockets. He knows a few basic card tricks too, though he never really gets a chance to show them off.

-Had a really rough childhood. Think both of his parents were junkies who spent most of their time ignoring him. He left home young and never looked back.

-This man was definitely raised Catholic

Rochelle

-Used to smoke, quit at some point. The apocalypse is bad for sobriety, so I feel like she occasionally shares a smoke with Nick.

-Had a large family in which she was a middle child. Spent most of her childhood being looked over in favor of her siblings. Put herself through college and worked up to being a producer for the news through sheer hard work and dedication.

-Has a bad habit of dating shitty men. She likes bad boys but tends to get attached to toxic personalities.

-Definitely the most intelligent of the L4D2 survivors.

Coach

-Never smokes or drinks--his vice is fast food.

-Was a popular football star for his school with ambitions of going pro. Had a knee injury late in his last season of high school football that ruined all of that. He became a Coach partially because of his love for the game and partially because he wanted to do a better job of protecting his students than his teachers did for him.

-Had a nice suburban childhood with loving parents. He's intensely worried about how they're faring in the apocalypse.

-Deeply cares about everyone, but especially kids. He knew all of the students at his school by name and always made a habit of being nice to those who looked like they needed it. I imagine he's seen several of them dead by now.

Ellis

-Tobacco fiend but not a smoker, this is a man who dips if I've ever seen one.

-Absent father, doting single mother. Never had any siblings but Keith was over enough to basically be raised alongside him. He never had to worry about his mother's affection for him; she clearly thinks he hung the moon.

-Very aware that he annoys people at times but unsure of how to stop doing it. Blames himself for his father leaving.

-ADHD and dyslexic. Did poorly in school but thrives in an environment where he can work with his hands and have verbal instructions. Math was his best core subject, and he excelled at ag and shop class.

-A Southern Baptist by blood, but I don't think he's ever given his personal religious beliefs much thought.

-Bisexual!

[boxkitkat]

Random post on some small ZSakuVA verse headcannons! <3

(Mainly for Isaac and Elias o(>ω<)o)

Isaac: Isaac probably has a habit of doing that little leg bounce whenever he’s anxious. Before he met the listener and got closer with them he probably smelled A LOT like coffee.

When he was probably 8-11 he took piano lessons for a while but simply didn’t feel like music was something he was interested in.

Isaac as a kid (like around 5-7 years old) would struggle with sleeping so his mom (maybe sometimes joined by his dad) would end up helping him go to sleep by playing with his hair, putting on a small puppet show for him while reading a bed time story with cute animal hand puppets.

His favorite bugs are blue butterflies and ladybugs because they would remind him of whenever he helped his mom in the gardens and little butterflies and ladybugs would show up near the flowers in the spring.

He finds hot chocolate or a warm tea comforting on cloudy or rainy days.

His houses garden would probably have like a miniature waterfalls here and there.

Isaac probably has a messenger for himself like Adriel did to communicate through his workers, or just emails them or calls them but never meets any of his workers in person face to face.

He would be a girl dad. Dressing up in frilly princess dresses with plastic tiaras and attending the finest tea parties with the most high quality and rich wooden biscuits and cookies all to make his daughter happy. Of course when he had the time to. He probably has a black silk robe. Wouldn’t be surprised. As well as a really high quality grey or navy blue kimono stashed away in his closet. Maybe a gift from one of his older clients who is aware of his ethnicity background.

He’s really ticklish behind his knee.

He definitely has a disappointed and judgmental Asian dad glare if you do anything stoopid in-front of him.

He would appreciate the listener helping him with taking care of orchids that he gotten, maybe hug the listener from behind with his arms around their waist while they gently watered the orchids and he gives em a small peck on the cheek :D

He’s got a whole bunch of fancy watches, some as gifts from his clients and some from a collection his grandpa probably had of watches.

Elias: He’s mixed with Mexican and Filipino background, the Hispanic side from his mom and the Filipino side from his dad. He likes Thai food a lot. Specially Pad Thai noodles.

Some of his fave desserts are Ube cookies, and concha’s (specifically the white ones).

He would like to hold a grill with his old friends from high school.

He would tackle an enemy down like a football player.

He definitely uses the word “opp” in an unironic way.

He wears compression shirts during a workout, or loose no sleeve shirts that show off his muscles.

Kinda random but he was taller than most of the other Saku verse boys during their tween years.

In middle school and high school he would get really dirty and hurt a lot (scratches, bruises, etc) due to playing sports with his friends.

(this head cannon is inspired off of another crumpets head cannon so credits to them for this idea!) His mom was religious (not crazy religious but yknow) catholic to be specific so he was raised with an upbringing of some religious faith. He isn’t super religious himself tho, not as much as him mom was. And also he probably has a cross necklace as well that he sometimes wears.

Elias wears mostly silver jewelry because it goes well with his skin complexion.

Listens to the reggaeton genre usually and rap too, he would definitely get jiggy with it to El Coco No.

Speaking of dancing, Elias is probably a pretty good dancer but insists that he’s okayish.

He’d make listener dance with him, especially if it’s a romantic song.

He likes some of Franks Sinatras music mainly because it makes him think of his listener probably or his mom due to Franks music (from what I’ve heard) being very sentimental.

He likes to make himself banana milkshakes sometimes in the mornings.

He’s got a sick belt collection and is very much proud of it and WILL show it off to anyone who asks. He’d wear them on special occasions tho or not at all cuz they are his precious babies.

His jaw can open oddly enough very widely without dislocating it somehow.

He’d probably do that thing where people lift up their eyelids inside out to mess with James because James finds it icky and recoils and cringes at it. (He’s done this ever since he was 10 when he discovered James didn’t like that.)

His go to late night snack is a PB&J sandwich or instantly noodles.

Luca: He has a high pitched scream.

He’d have a comfort pillow, he’d cuddle it incase whenever his listener isn’t home (like on a business trip or something)

He has flat hair so he tries to blow dry it to make it have more volume but it isn’t able to hold up for long after a while sometimes.

His hair is very shiny.

He brings a small lotion bottle with him wherever he goes to keep his hands and arms moisturized.

He’s sometimes tempted to eat things that aren’t edible but look edible.

Half of his twitter feed is cats and capybaras.

He might’ve been in a few clubs in high school, like chest or volunteering work.

Luca was a really energetic kid with the people he was closest with and his parents would sometimes struggle keeping up with that.

He liked sandwiches a lot as a kid, he still does and I think he would have a great appreciation for those little tea sandwiches. He’d absolutely adore those sandwiches.

Whenever he’s cooking he puts little hair clips on so his hair doesn’t get in the way of his face and distract him while cooking or getting any hair into the food he’s making. The hair clips probably have little animals on them.

Small head-cannons for the others!:

Andrew likes to wear a lot of gold jewelry, he stretches a lot from having bad seating posture making his body feel sore. Kayson definitely plays around with his brothers by picking them up and throwing them over his shoulder, he’d do this a few time with his listener as well if they are being bratty or playful. Dontis wears those Hawaiian shirts and has crazy bed head. Jonah likes to dye his hair a lot with a bunch of different bright colors, his hair is very dead, and he likes subtle vanilla scents. Rowan likes garlic bread and he gently rubs his listeners hand with his thumb whenever therye nervous or upset. Asirel owns a sick blood red sports car and sometimes sun tans next to his smancy fancy pool with a speedo on and some fancy sunglasses (gotta keep the tan up.)

Okayy thats all for now!! Hope you enjoyed reading and ty for listening to me share! And ofc pls feel free to say your own personal thoughts and feelings on my head cannons or your own personal head cannons! Ty Crumpet Nation! ☆ ～('▽^人)

[the-great-tiger-of-mumbai]

Aran Ryan hcs please?

//To my absolute surprise, there were no previous Aran HCs in my old blog for me to refer to. So this is completely straight up from the top of my head. Huh.

Aran Ryan Headcanons:

Born and raised in the suburb of Finglas within Dublin. Has his mum and sister. Doesn't know who his father is, pretends to not care but secretly does. Grew up in relative poverty.

Major mama's boy. Will kick the ass of any kid who looked at him, his mum, and the spelling of his name the wrong way. Then later anything can be an excuse for an ass beating. This got him in trouble often. He just learns to shrug it off.

Raised Catholic but has none of the guilt. Totally punched a priest in the confession booth. Doesn't bother to go to church anymore. Mum remains staunchly religious.

First thing he did once he got big time payouts from the WVBA matches? Bought his mum and sister a nicer place in Ranelagh, where Mum can live in a quieter, more luxurious spot as the sister can finish secondary school.

Speaking of secondary (high) school, Aran never completed it, opting to drop out and work first. He has yet to bother to obtain an equivalent degree as an adult, as being an athlete is more than enough income for him and his family. He has no desire for higher education.

Doesn't know a lick of Irish or Gaelic. Only has surface level of appreciation of Irish history, mythology, or culture. He does enjoy stepdance, though, and is suprisingly good at it!

Excels in other sports such as football and rugby. Though unsurprisingly, he cheats in those too.

Never traveled outside of Ireland until he joined the WVBA. He would develop a side love for travel as a result. Mostly to see what pubs he can hit and how much fighting he can get away with without landing himself in prison.

Either ace or gay. Either way, has no sexual interest in women.

It's almost 2 AM and I am unfortunately too tired to do some fact-checking in regards to specific 1987 and 1994 verses (as they relate to the Troubles), so I'm going to keep these headcanons general for now. I'm also not bothering to name Mum and Sister, unless I decide to expand on them later.

[fizzing-imagines]

Agony | Gareth Emerson x Cheerleader! Reader

Notes: Before you read, be aware that Reader is dating someone else in this. I had to make Reader from a catholic family to make this work. MDNI, 18+ only

Warnings: Descriptive abusive relationship, hint at being talked into having sex, hint at restrictive eating, a very short sex scene

Word Count: 2.9k

"Watch where you're going, freak.", your boyfriend Andy said as he purposely ran into and pushed down one of the students from Hellfire. You knew him, he was in your social studies class. "Andy, that's enough.", you scolded him. Your boyfriend gave you a confused look as you helped him gather his books. "Sorry. Hope your okay.", you said to Gareth before grabbing Andy by the arm and dragging him away.

That was your first interaction with Gareth.

The same night, you had a huge fight with Andy. He accused you of liking the 'freak boy', asked why you helped him. "Because he's also a human, Andy." You tried your best to remain calm, it was your way of trying to controll his bad temper. While you truly loved Andy, he gets angry easily. But there was one safe strategy to this. "Come on, Andy." You wrapped your left arm around his torso and cupped his face with your right hand. It gave him the perfect view of your cleavage, and made your eyes look especially big and innocent. "I like helping people. That's why you love me, don't you?" With a sigh and a small eye roll, he let out a small "Sure." His hands found your hips and held on tightly. "There's some other things you do that I love." One swift movement later, you were laying on Andys bed, underneath him.

You're fucked. In social studies, you were given presentation assignments and partnered with a random person to work with for two weeks. Just your luck, you were partnered with Gareth. Despite it not being your fault, you knew Andy would pick a fight over it. Regardless, you and Gareth pushed your chairs together and looked at the topic you were supposed to write about. "Write about your favourite moment from world history.", you read out loud. Gareth seemed happy about it, but you furrowed your brows. "The only history I know about is cheerleading and the crusades." Gareth gave you a raised eyebrow. "Crusades?", he asked before grinning in amusement. "That's a wild card." You laughed a bit at his words. "My family's catholic, that was kinda our thing." So, the crusades it was. Both of you told your teacher about the topic you chose do your assignment about. "Whatever we can't finish now, we can do after school.", Gareth suggested. The thought alone made you nervous, considering Andy. "Uhm...I-I don't know...you know how my boyfriend is..." He knew how he was, but what worried him is that you looked very scared. "Well, maybe we'll do it at your house with one of your siblings around?" His suggestion sounded fair enough to you.

But it didn't to Andy. "Why the fuck would you even agree to hang out with the freak?!" He yelled at you in the parking lot after school. "It's for school, Andy...", you defended yourself in a quiet voice. "I don't fucking care, you should've asked for another partner! Are you actually that stupid?!" Your eyes started watering at his words. "I'm sorry...", you mumbled while holding back tears. "Sorry isn't gonna fix how dumb you are." He turned around and got in his car, the door slammed shut and it made you flinch. You watched him drive off before getting into your own car to cry. After a good 15 minutes, there was a knock at your window. It was Gareth. You rolled down your window with one hand while whiping your tears with the other. "You okay?", he asked in a worried tone. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.", you lied. "Just...frustrated about cheerleading, is all." He didn't believe you, but he wouldn't say that out loud. "Hey, uhm, my friends all kinda dipped out on me, do you wanna start the assignment today?" You couldn't, not after that fight with Andy. "I have cheer practice out of school today. We can stick to Thursday, okay?" He reluctantly nodded before saying goodbye and "I hope you feel better soon.", then getting into his own car.

At home, you already started reading through your books about crusades. You tried at least, because Andys words still rung in your ears. All your life, you didn't feel stupid. Sure, some classes are harder than others but you weren't an idiot. At least you didn't think that until you started dating Andy. Every time a boy looked at you the wrong way, flirted or stepped too close, he called you oblivious, dumb or stupid for not realising it. Many times, it didn't even seem like flirting to you. But Andy was a guy, he must know...right? "Honey, Andys here!", your mother yelled from downstairs pulled you out of your thoughts. His footsteps approached your upstairs room and the door opened slowly. "Hey.", he said in a calm tone. You got up from your bed to walk over to him. "Hey.", you said back. Your boyfriend closed the door behind him before putting his hands on your hips. "I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have yelled at you." An actual apology from him is rare. "It's okay if you can't always think of smart solutions, you're good at other things. You just leave the thinking to me next time, yeah?" Did he genuinely think you were stupid? Maybe he's right...he does know you best. "Sure. Thank you, Andy." You said as you wrapped your arms around his torso. "I think there's a way you can make that mistake up to me.", Andy said as he slowly led you towards your bed. Honestly, you didn't feel like it but he'll start another fight if you'd say no. So you just follow lead.

Gareth came to your house on Thursday, two days later. You already put all the books you had on crusades on the dining table in your home in the morning, so both if you just drove to your house after school to start on the assignment. "So, we should probably explain what a crusade is first, and then talk about the big eight ones in more detail. I mean, there's minor ones but if we were to talk about all of them we'd be there for hours." You laughed a bit at your own words. "You know a lot about that, huh?", Gareth asked with a small smile. "Oh, it's just something my brothers liked when I was a child. I'd always sit quietly on the stairs when they watches Gates Of Paradise in the living room." He laughed a bit on your words. "Well, you're the smart one here. I'll just follow your lead." Those words struck a bit. "Oh no, I'm not that smart.", you said with a small wave of your hand before opening your first book. Gareth, however, was very confused by your self-degrading words. "Do you wanna talk about what crusades are, then I talk about the first big one, and we just switch back and forth?", you asked. Honestly, he was still taken aback by your comment, but he didn't want to bring it up again; he wasn't your friend, it would be too invasive. Having Gareth there for your assignment was odd - you didn't actually feel so stupid when you worked with him. It made you doubt Andys words for the following days.

"Mornin' baby.", Andy grumbled next to you. Both of you were at a party the night before, where Andy got extremely drunk and threw up in his driveway, bathroom and the side of the road on the way back. You stayed sober, being the designated driver like you were every time the two of you went to a party. "Promise I'll drive next time.", he mumbled as his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you closer to him. Andy promised that every time he woke up hungover. "Sure.", you whispered as you pulled the sheets up higher. "You okay?" He let out a low groan, indicating his raging headache. "Need some aspirin?" Andy hummed in response, so you got up and walked to his bathroom where you got his aspirin. After going downstairs to get a glass of water, you walked back into his room. "There you go.", you said as you put his things down on the messy nightstand. "Andy, I need to get home soon for my assignments. You want me to come over again later?" He turned to look at you through squinted eyes. "Sure. You can make me feel better then, hm?" You were at a point where the thought of having sex with Andy grossed you out - it made you feel tainted every time. But fighting with him made you feel even worse. "Sure, I'll see you later. Let's say around six, I'll bring dinner." He gave you a small smile and a pat on your thigh. "You're not that dumb after all." Sure, let's say that.

Gareth didn't make you feel stupid. In fact, you were looking foward to working with him again. He didn't make you feel nearly as stupid as Andy did. On your way to his house, you picked up coffee, donuts and bacon & egg breakfast muffins for the both of you. A short drive later, you were already knocking on his front door to be greeted by his mother. "Good morning.", you said to her with a smile. "I'm Gareths assignment partner, we wanted to continue working on it today." She smiled at you. "He's up in his room. Come in, I'll fetch him for you." His mother made you sit at the dining table where you also put the food down until Gareth emerged form his room. "Morning.", he said as he slumped down next to you. He looked like he just woke up, so you slid him his coffee. "Just rolled out of bed, huh?", you asked with a small laugh before taking a sip of your coffee. "Rough night.", Gareth mumbled. "Thanks for the coffee." He drank a lot of it in one gulp, but it seemed to kick in really fast. "I also brought food.", you said as you slid the brown paper bag with his donut and breakfast muffins towards him. "Take your time, I'm free until five." Gareth ate his breakfast quickly, so quickly that you gave him your donut, but he fully enjoyed it. "You're honestly the best, (Y/N). I couldn't have a better partner." It sounded wrong, and in the back of your mind you knew that Andy would kill him for that comment, but you didn't say anything. "I try my best.", you said with a small smile. "It's nice to be appreciated for once." Those words slipped out without you thinking about what you were saying. Your eyes went wide as he looked up at you with a questioning and concerned look. Shit. "What do you mean?", he asked you. You mumbled out a few excuses, that you didn't mean it like that and that you didn't mean to say it, but it didn't change his concerns. In fact, he worried a lot since he first worked with you and you basically called yourself stupid. "It's, uhm..." Maybe it would be relieving if you talked about this to someone. All your friends were on the cheer team, it would find it's way to Andy. "My boyfriend, he...well, he made me realise I'm not really smart. But even when I think I have a good idea, he thinks it's stupid, so...it's nice to have that appreciated." Gareth started hating Andy even more at that very moment. He didn't know you too well, but he knew you weren't dumb. In fact, he admired how well you did in social studies despite not liking it much. "You're not stupid, (Y/N), if anything he's stupid for saying that." His words gave you a funny feeling in your stomach. "Oh, I don't know.", you said. "I'm good at other things. Cheerleading, driving, se-" Luckily, you cut yourself off. "S-sewing." He raised an eyebrow. "Sewing?" Your cheeks have turned a deep shade of red. Did you seriously almost say the word Sex in front of Gareth? "Y-yeah. I sew my own bows. You know, for cheerleading." He laughed before finishing his coffee. "I've heard worse excuses. Good one." You forced out a chuckle while your face was still flushed red. "Coming up with that excuse on the spot is pretty smart, you know." By now, you couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. "I know it's not my business, but you deserve someone who doesn't make you feel stupid. Because you really are not."

Gareths words stuck with you more than Andys did. They meant more to you than your boyfriends words, his didn't sting as much anymore. As you were riding him and he finished inside you, your mind wasn't even with him anymore; it was with Gareth. He looked so cute after he just woke up...what were you thinking? This can't be right, can it? "Fuck, you're incredible." Andy groaned once he came down from his high. "You're my own little pornstar, aren't you?" You gave him a small smile as you got down, since he wouldn't try to make you cum anyways, and cuddled up to him. "You're usually not this needy afterwards.", Andy commented. There were no words you could possibly say right now. You were too deep in your own head, thinking of nobody but Gareth. No way in hell could you develop a crush on him. "I just...love you an extra lot today." You said to your boyfriend. "Aren't you cute?", he said before giving you a kiss on your forehead. If you'd convince yourself enough, you'll stop developing feelings for Gareth and fully love Andy again.

Your plan was mediocre at best. Both you and Andy started fighting more, he accused you of cheating, called you stupid multiple times a day. It peaked when he called you a whore because you had to meet with Gareth for your assignment. At this point, you completely lost feelings for him. Every time he came around with a fake apology, every time he convinced you to have sex with you as an apology, every kiss on the forehead afterwards, it made you feel dirty. At this point, you were eating less, showered twice a day and changed your sheets daily. It was a rapid decline over the course of one and a half weeks. And with the deadline of your assignment approaching, meaning you won't have an excuse to spend time with Gareth anymore, you grew anxious. He made you feel good about yourself in a way no friend or, god forbid, your boyfriend could.

"Hey, Gareth?" Might as well take a risk. "My brothers wanna do a movie night tomorrow. I thought Gates Of Paradise would be something you'd like, considering our assignment." He smiled at your suggestion, a genuine smile not even close to what Andy gave you. "That sounds great.", he said. Since the both of you finished the assignment that day, it made you truly happy that he was willing to spend time with you outside of schoolwork.

"It's just with my brothers.", you said to Andy when he asked why he couldn't join you for movie night. "I promised them some time with just me because I've been so busy with the assignment." He sighted at your words. "But you'll be here tomorrow?", he asked as his hands cupped your cheeks. Gross. "Yes, Andy, just you, me and The Outsiders." He smirked before giving you a quick peck on the lips. "How about you bring those pretty silk PJ's that drive me insane?" No thank you. "They're in the washer right now. How about your shirt?" That still pleased him, although not like your silk pyjamas did.

It didn't matter what you wore when Gareth was around you, he was kind to you regardless. You were in an oversized Pointer Sisters shirt and boxershorts you wore over your underwear when your elder brother led him into the living room. "Hey Gare.", you greeted him with a smile. Gareth plopped down on the couch next to you while your brothers made a construction of pillows and blankets on the floor to lay on. Your younger sister joined them on the floor as well since she was finally old enough to watch crusade movies without peeking from the stairs like you did as a child. "I didn't know what sodas you liked, so I brought a few.", Gareth said as he handed you a sixpack of cherry coke, a sixpack of sprite and a sixpack of diet coke. "Diet cokes good.", you said with a smile. "Yeah, ever since she's been on that new diet of hers.", your eldest brother commented as he took the sodas out of my hands. "Cherry coke's her favourite if she's not trying to loose whatever weight she thinks she needs to loose." You threw a pillow from the couch after him as he left the living room. "It's just for practice." but Gareth didn't buy that explanation. He didn't want to say anything in front of your family, but he did make a mental note to himself. Your other brother and your sister left the room to grab snacks and the movie, leaving you two alone for a few minutes. "Andy doesn't know you're here, by the way.", you said. "He...well, he doesn't really like you. Actually, he's jealous. Thinks you wanna steal me from him."

Oh, if you knew.