#being more difficult to read bc it's less intuitive

[bunnyb34r]

Well I WAS gonna make gravy since I'm AWAKE but uh... I think I'll wait til 5 like I originally planned 😰

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

I'm that person who just asked that and you're fucking great. You're fucking awesome. I love you already and I don't even know you (non weird way) so my questions are, can you ask apollo and aphrodite what they think of me and if they still want me to talk to them and stuff bc aphrodite has been quiet and I'm scared I disrespected her 💔

-mcme

Thanks in advance, you're awesome 🙌💛

Heyo! I finally have had the chance to sit down for readings, so here's yours! Because of how difficult it can be for me to parse what is from who, I specifically had them do this in sections- asking them both the questions individually. I was super excited for this one! Deity readings my beloved <3 That being said, anything in quotation marks is what I get directly from them! (technically a channeled message but it still feels weird calling it that because it sounds way fancier than how I feel doing it.)

For anyone interested, my Ko-Fi is at the end of this post! Free readings are temporary (and usually smaller) than the paid readings I do over there!

Aphrodite:

"What do you think of them?"

Eight of Swords reversed: Awakening, Liberation, Open to Change. The things popping out to me about this card is about accepting who you are, flaws and all. Not only taking responsibility for flaws and mistakes, but accepting them without self-judgement. "You're not a burden. You're not a monster for any mistakes or flaws, you simply are. Existing is morally neutral; you aren't doing anything wrong by taking up space and breathing air. I'm not vain, I am beautiful- and so are you. No matter how you feel. Don't judge yourself too harshly."

Ace of Swords reversed: Confusion, Headcase, Disarray. To me this looks like it's primarily a card of mental chaos bordering on losing a sense of reality- and looking for an outside opinion to clarify what is accurate and what is just anxiety going haywire. The choice is ultimately yours to clear your head, of course, but it looks like- since you really ARE getting an outside opinion by requesting a reading- you're on the right track. "Do you really think you can offend the goddess of beauty and love? It is in my essence to be beautiful and loving. I am not so fragile in my beauty as to lash out at humans for embracing their own beauty. It's not in my nature to lash out at all, for any reason; love is all-encompassing, unconditional. What I am is the sort of love that looks at even the deepest darkest parts of your soul, the parts that you and everyone else rejects, and holds those parts close and tells you that even that is worth loving because it is you. There's no part of you I don't love; you can't drive me away so easily, you know." Okay, I swear to you I felt the little ;P after that. Like she winked. I'm not even joking. (she thinks she's very endearing, for one, and that I'm being too serious just because what she said before seemed a little intense.)

"What do you have to say to them?"

King of Pentacles: Attainment, Property, Abundance. The King of Pentacles is all about wealth and abundance, prosperity in all its forms but especially financial. This could be a sign that you have good things ahead, or that you need to see the opportunities right in front of you and take them. This could, if my intuition is correct in singling out a specfic meaning rather than the overall meaning of this card, be a matter of quality over quantity. "Time spent together is time well spent." Maybe rather than worrying when your deities are less active, use that time to rest or work on other areas of your life; not only that, but spend the time you have with them well and quantity won't be an issue.

Seven of Swords: Deception, Discreet, Secrets. This card feels like it's talking less about someone else in your life, and more about you. It doesn't feel like a warning AGAINST deception though; instead it feels like a gentle reminder to protect yourself and your secrets. Don't trust the wrong people. (I confirmed this with the cards so I knew for sure.) "Does someone who could do you harm really deserve to see the parts of you that they could take advantage of? No. Every part of you is worth loving, but not everyone in life will see that; restrict their access to the vulnerable parts of you. There's no use playing pigeon chess,* and there's no use revealing yourself to people who won't care." (*this is a phrase that basically says there's no use arguing/debating with people who don't care in the first place/"stupid people" because "The pigeon will shit on the board and walk all over it like it won." They won't play by the rules of your game, so don't engage at all.)

Apollo:

"What do you have to say to them?"

Justice reversed: Injustice, Unfair, Delinquency. Things are just NOT fair right now, and maybe you're looking for a scapegoat. Instead, be honest with yourself and take responsibility for any possible role you are playing. (note that I am NOT victim-blaming here. This is one possible interpretation for this card.) The situation at hand is likely very black-and-white, so get to the root of it- it's not as complicated as it may seem. If you've truly done your best to right the situation, file it under "lessons learned" and move on. "This isn't an impossible puzzle, kid- it's okay. Take a deep breath, you're not losing your mind, just look and actually SEE and it'll be alright. You're almost there."

Six of Wands: Victory, Validation, Acknowledgement. You've persevered through a lot, and now- or soon- you'll get the recognition that you fuckin' deserve! Apollo's giving off a lot of hype I won't lie. There's rewards coming your way, and you absolutely should take a look back and appreciate your progress yourself. Look at how far you've come!! Pay attention to that- you're not the same person you once were, you're blossoming into a new one and that's okay. All I'm getting from Apollo is "holy shit you've done it :D Look at you :D" so…. He's happy with you, clearly! They both obviously love you so much, I don't think you've upset them at all.

"What do you think of them?"

Princess of Swords: Inquisitive, Verbose, Lively. Apollo is the god of the arts, and you absolutely have the creative spirit! So many ideas, so much excitement about those ideas- you both have so much work to do in the best way possible! There's a thirst to learn and Apollo is excited to help. You're probably good at getting your ideas out there, or at least Apollo thinks you could be! In this reading this card is giving off major major high-energy vibes, Apollo thinks you definitely have what it takes to pursue your dreams and keep fuckin' going! "You have no idea what's ahead, and no idea how good you're going to be at it- this is a gift of yours that you ignore far too often, and it needs to be brought to light (pun very intended.) Don't ignore your talents!"

Last card, so closing statement from both:

The Hermit: Soul-Searching, Reflection, Truth. Explore yourself with the same curiosity that the last card implied you explore the world with. Pay attention to your inner world, yourself, and your core values; learn about yourself so you can truly know all aspects of yourself. Give yourself permission to withdraw a little for the sake of spending time on yourself. Self-acceptance is important, and you can't do that if you aren't listening to yourself! Spend some time working on you and only you, rather than your relationships. You deserve it :D Since this feels like it's from both of them and messages get jumbled when they're both trying to get through, It's short, but I can get one thing very clear: "Take care of yourself." It's easy to prioritize other things in life, but you need to switch gears and prioritize you above all else.

HOO BOI this one took a while to do! Aphrodite and Apollo are wonderful I love them /pos I hope it resonates, and I hope it helped! I appreciate feedback or a response if it did, but no pressure! Here's my Ko-Fi in case you want to tip, and so others can check it out! I do more in-depth readings over there. Most free readings will be only a few cards, but this one ended up being the length of a paid reading so it's an okay example.

[voorbeees]

[ hi im back with a part 2 bc im a sappy bitch. you can read part one here ]

Jesse makes his way into the kitchen. Early mornings are a thing he's had to get used to and there doesn't seem to be enough coffee in the world to keep him awake. Sure he's typically awake for work, but he schedules appointments around the time he spends recouping from his nightly hobby. After all a business doesn't run itself. He thinks this, accompanied with a move to LA shortly after taking the girl in could play a large part in it.

Shortly after they'd arrived at the new home, Tilly had been thrilled to learn she had her own room and own things. Apparently that was another thing her mother had failed to provide. He wants to ask her what her life was like before, but each time he thinks to broach the subject something makes him shy away from it. Maybe it's for the best. Besides, considering what it was, Jesse's sure he'll feel fire settle in his veins. Not long after that he'd had her enrolled in a small private school. It was never too early to start an education. He's also taken it upon himself to start teaching her ASL. The decision was only made final when she had looked up at him with those puppy dog eyes and said the simple phrase "I wish we could talk better."

And that had been another thing, not once had she acted like he was a stranger. It was actually the opposite. She acted like she'd known him her whole life. Maybe that was good, it made breaking the ice less difficult, at least in his mind.

Now Jesse adjusts his black suit coat, making sure he looks dressed to a T, even if he is just going downstairs. He's always been one to preen, current circumstances haven't changed that at all. Black Oxfords echo off the marble floor and he's instantaneous met with the beaming face of Tilly.

"Jesse! Jesse!" She rushes from her seat at the dining room table and bounces around his legs. Her tiny red curls dance about her shoulders in the process. She wastes no time in asking for her favorite thing, which is only made obvious a split second later when she holds her arms up, waiting to be picked up.

He picks her up with ease, acting like she weighs nothing (and to him she probably does). Her tiny arms wrap around his neck. She's made it clear she enjoys being at his height. Tilly pulls out of the hug a second later and starts flapping a tiny arm in the air. "I've been practicing with my writing!" She beams, little face begging for approval. He'd be cruel to deny her that so Jesse nods and walks the both of them back over to the table. Tilly wiggles herself out of his grasp just enough so she can grab the paper and shove it in his face.

It takes his eye a moment to focus and he has to hold the paper back a bit but sure enough, there in a child's scrappy handwriting is her name repeated at least ten times. Her statement is met with a slow nod of approval.

"Oh!" She finally makes the effort to remove herself from his arms and settle back into her chair. "Maybe I can try writing your name next?" It's a question but he knows what she's implying and its not a moment later that he pulls his phone out. He spends a moment typing on it and then turns it around to face her.

J-E-S-S-E

An amused look settles on his scarred face as he sees her focusing all her attention to write his name. Her tongue pokes out of the left side of her mouth as she finishes the last letter and holds it up, rather proud of herself.

It's messy but it's a cute gesture, so he takes it from her and pins it to the fridge with a magnet. That earns him a squeal of delight. The excitement is short lived as she goes back to her task. Jesse takes the opportunity to finally pour himself a cup of coffee.

' YOU'RE SPENDING THE DAY WITH SPANN. ' He hasn't actually left her alone yet. At least not that she knows. He's made sure to always leave when she's asleep, a caretaker there if something was to arise in his absence. The last thing he wants is for Tilly to think he's abandoning her.

"Why?" She asks as she looks up at him and then goes back to her work.

' I HAVE...BUSINESS. ' If you can consider visiting a plastic surgeon business. It's something he's wanted to do since he first saw what was once his "face". But Spann and the doctors had highly discouraged any reconstruction until the scars were fully healed. All in all it had added up to almost a year's time and it had been nothing but pure hell. Not that he cared what people thought when they saw him, more so he cared what he saw when he looked at himself in the mirror. It wasn't good. Hell, for the first several months he'd busted every mirror within five feet of him, going so far as to have them removed from places of his organization that had them. It'd been a touchy subject and not many could breach it.

Jesse remembers when Tilly saw his face for the first time. It had been the next day and it was on accident. He wasn't planning on showing the mangled part of himself until she seemed comfortable around him. But she had walked in on him in his home office. He'd been sitting at his desk, mask safety packed away in the chrome case. She was supposed to be sleeping and much to his horror when he had looked up, she wasn't. Instead she was standing in the doorway with wide eyes. He'd frozen like a deer in headlights. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Was she scared of him? Fuck, he'd be scared of himself. It's not like he even looked human anymore. He sat there for what felt like an eternity, unmoving until she walked forward. "You got hurt bad, huh?" She hadn't looked at him in disgust, but rather understanding. It was like it was the most common thing to ever happen. Tilly had come up and stood in front of him. "I got hurt one time too." She pulled her hair back to show a small indention on her forehead. "I hit my head and it left a really big spot." Something about that small stupid child gesture had made him laugh. It had demolished the wall he had built, afraid of traumatizing her.

Tilly lays her pencil down and looks up at Jesse now. To only be six she's intuitive. She can tell by the way he grips the handle of the mug and shifts his weight slightly that something is off. Usually its "I have work." Not "business." It's an odd choice of words. So she does what kids do best, she bombards him with fucking questions. "What kind?"

' BUSINESS. '

There's that word again. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't fucking pick out the problem. "Can I come?" Jesse shakes his head 'no.' A tiny frown creases her brow. "Do you have to go to the doctor?" Suddenly she gasps, standing up in her chair. "Are you sick!?"

Jesse's signing and shaking his head 'no' before he can stop himself. It's not hard to tell she's working herself up. Fuck, the last thing he wants right now or at all is her to he upset.

"Are-are you going for your face?" Tilly sniffles and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. Of course he fucking is, why else would he go to a god damned doctor. He obviously can't say it like that so he nods. "Bu-but there's nothing wrong with it!" Now she's just being polite, Jesse's sure of it. But the logical part of his brain says no, she's upset because she fucking cares about you you god damned fool. "What i-if I don't know who you are after? Because you lo-ook different?!" At that she breaks into full on hysteria. There's a few other words but Jesse can't make them out. It just all sounds garbled to him.

He considers pulling his phone out again but settles for a different approach. Jesse lowers himself on to one knee a few inches from her perch in the chair. He signs "hush" and "okay". Those are the easiest ones she's able to read but she just shakes her head crying even harder. "It's no-ot okay!" There's a hiccup added after she finishes speaking and for a split second Jesse thinks she's going to suffocate on her own tears. He blinks several times, actually taken aback by just how upset she is over this. This is a good thing not a bad one. He's going to look better but she doesn't want that. Of course he understands the whole "changing of features" process but it's still him. It's not like he's cutting off one of his fucking hands.

" It will be okay. " His hand hovers over her back like it's debating if it should offer comfort or not. Instead the decision is made for him as Tilly wipes at her eyes and sniffles.

"You don't know that!" There's a long pause and for a second Jesse thinks she's going to start bawling again, but she doesn't. Instead she looks up at him and the intensity in that stare almost has him drawing back. There's something in it. Love? Impossible. People don't love him, they tolerate him. Or rather he pays them to tolerate him. Tilly blinks once, then twice and yes, he sees it now. It's a mixture of love and adoration. Something almost foreign to him. "What if something happens?" Her tiny lip quivers. "Who will I have then?"

Fuckfuckfuckfuck. His mind draws a blank. There's no way for him to completely assure something won't happen. Granted people don't usually die from plastic surgeon, though he guesses it's possible. ' IT WON'T. I WILL STILL BE HERE. ' The phone's electronic voice drones out into the air. That's not what he wants to say. Jesse wants to say this huge fucking essay of why she doesn't need to worry but sometimes the simplest answers are the best.

"Promise?"

' YES. '

--------------

Blinding light sears his brown eye as it flutters open. Are lights always this bright? He doesn't think so. If they are then he's definitely paying someone to dim all the ones in his house. Because Jesus fuck that's a horrible thing to wake up to. Jesse blinks a few times then lets out a sigh. He can't feel his face (which, God willing, with strong as fuck drugs he won't have to until it heals).

It's only after he's been awake for an hour or two that he turns to the door at his right and sees Spann standing there, Tilly's small wide eyed form in front of her. He offers a shakey wave as a greeting. Tilly looks up at Spann, who nods and urges her in then steps back out to answer a call. Jesse thinks she looks even more comical like this. She's acting like he's a porcelain doll that could break at the lightest touch.

Tilly rests her tiny arms on his bedside. "Do you feel better?" Jesse gives her a so-so response with his hand. She takes this as privilege to climb her way up into the bed beside him, her tiny form looking even smaller near him. "Well," her forehead wrinkles, "you don't look different."

Now he is laughing. His shoulders shaking as an indicator. She looks at him before deciding to curl up next to him, her tiny head on his shoulder. "I still love you anyway. Even if you look like a mummy."

Jesse signs. " I love you too, squirt. "

[inyoursheets]

i got tagged by the kind @bourbon-ontherocks​ to do the language tag game thingy so let’s goooo

below the cut bc my english language journey has many twists and turns (jk im just a wordy person) (in writing) (as you may know by now)

How many languages do you speak?

two bc im an embarrassment to all my high school modern language teachers. so just dutch and english im afraid

What’s your native language?

my first language is dutch

Which language you’re most comfortable with?

it’s unnerving as hell but............it’s increasingly becoming english? youd think dutch would be the answer and it is in some ways, but considering most of my degree was in english, i genuinely struggle to express myself in dutch more when speaking on topics related to my field. so basically whenever someone tries to debate me im like !! i know but i dont know how to say this in dutch !! aah !! help !!! many thoughts, zero coherent sentences

the only reason im less comfortable w english is when speaking, mostly bc of my pronunciation. speaking english is something i do considerably less compared to reading, writing, and listening in/to english, especially now that im done w my studies.

also! i notice that while i understand the meaning of english words, sometimes when i deliberately literally translate them in my head (a much slower process than the intuitive way i normally speak/listen to english) the meaning hits me more? like, it sinks in a little more, it lands closer to home? english not being my first language means it creates some emotional distance from what im talking about.

so, i now sometimes try to deliberately seek out books and articles in dutch on important topics, bc that way i take in more of the depth of meaning and i feel addressed more directly on an intuitive level. does that make sense? for example, reading about racism and white privilege in english gives me a little more distance from the subject tho it shouldn’t, by virtue of it being in a language that is not the one i was raised with. so especially topics relating to (my) societal privileges, i try to also engage with in dutch, and not just in english. im not gonna stop learning about them in english, there’s a fuckton more information out there on any topic, really, in english, and so many people i learn so much from speak english. but i gotta keep reminding myself to also consume dutch articles/books/etc., especially when it’s very important that i really hear what’s being said

Where or how did you learn English?

formally? i started in primary school and then all of high school (we dont have middle school here, fyi). but really, what helped the most was reading books and watching tv shows and films in english.

first, id read the dutch translation of a book. then id read the english version, already knowing the story. then slowly i got to a point where i didnt need to already know the book before being able to read it in english.

same with tv and film -- first id watch dubbed versions of tv shows, which is common practice in the netherlands with shows aimed at a young audience (that’s the extent of it as far as i can tell - other than kids’ movies, films in the cinema are not dubbed). then i got to a point where i could watch those same shows in english with dutch subtitles (shows airing earlier in the day would be the dubbed version, and in the evening theyd be subbed). then i got to a point where i could watch shows that aren’t dubbed in the first place, with dutch subtitles. then i got to the stage where i watched shows with english subtitles. and now i forget subtitles exist and only watch things in english. the only time i’ll turn on (english) subtitles is if there are people whose accents i find more difficult to understand.

i think consuming media in english in these stages (which took years! slow process! happened alongside of high school english classes!) is what helped me learn english the most, next to formal training. that’s really how my vocab improved and how it keeps improving, i guess. tho the amount of times i encounter a word i dont know the meaning of has significantly lessened

(also what helped is living in sweden and in the uk for a few months. no choice but communicating in english. and like i said, most of degree was in english so i had to read and write in english like every day. in conclusion: being surrounded with english on a daily basis is why im at this level, not just from watching hannah montana)

When outlining a fic, which language are you thinking in?

ok so i dont really outline fics ??? it’s more like. a few bullet points of vague ideas (in english) and then i start. but if i were to finally get my shit together and actually properly outline, id do so in english

When planning a fic, which language are you thinking in?

yeah also in english

Is the first draft in your native language, or is it in English?

also english. it wouldnt even occur to me to draft or outline in dutch. i might if the show itself was in dutch but since it’s in english....ok wait no i wouldnt, im far too lazy to translate a whole draft and i commend people that do!

What do you [think] of your English?

ummmmm well. i think i could improve on the speaking front and that my pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired. and i think i could stand to be a little less arrogant sometimes bc i tend to think i know meanings of words but sometimes i dont know the exact nuance of a word or all of its meanings. so if i were a little less cocky about the whole ordeal id probably improve more. annnnd bc these days i learn most new words on online, i should be more proactive about figuring out where terms originate from and pay attention to whether a word or a phrase is okay for me to use or not (like not appropriating AAVE).

other than that i think my english is fine. and i think that me thinking in english more often than in dutch means im what dutch people talk about when they say dutch is dying out lmaoooo you’re WELCOME

im tagging................. ok im actually not even sure who in this fandom doesnt have english as a first language? so im just gonna tag fic writers and hope they speak multiple languages. like my wife @mrslackles (i should know this about my wife! sorry!) or @bethsuglywigs ?? @septiembur ??? @riosnecktattoo ???? somebody pls send help. ok you know what im just gonna double tag @bathroombreaks and @missmaxime

also whether i accurately tagged you or not, no pressure. also if you’re reading this and english isnt your first language, TAG YOU’RE IT

[aqvarius]

I hope the rmd mc for kasumi is a bit different cuz she rly be hittin on my last nerve and I don’t think she would rly v✨i✨b✨e with kasumi in her current given state

i’ve decided i need to play matsunaga and cc before getting a better sense of the eicu guys but honestly some of these recent asks feel like my own brain jumped out of my head and started sending me anon asks lmao bc i totally agree. anyway i know it’s a controversial opinion to not like the rmd mc and i’m TRYING to be fair and put aside my bias against her and try to analyse what exactly it is that i don’t like, but yeah i just don’t really find that she has romantic chemistry with the characters (that i’ve read, i.e. takado and hosho). not that anyone ever asked for this, buuuuuut this ask has basically triggered yet another mc rant so stop reading here or get ready and settle down with some popcorn lmao.

DISCLAIMER: this is all just my personal opinion! and i’m sure many of you will disagree with me. please place a “i think/believe/feel” before every claim i make as everything i say here is just my own feeling towards her. i also need to disclaim that i have only properly read takado and hosho’s routes (bc i’m still...mad at sen’s route, and i’ve only made it through one chapter of matsunaga so far) and i understand (and fully subscribe to) the idea that mcs read differently depending on the route as well. and as always, please don’t let my opinions affect your own enjoyment of any characters or titles that you love!

ALSO as i was writing this, i went back and read my previous rant about her and i realised that i’m more or less reiterating the same points i made there but in a (hopefully) more structured and slightly more developed manner whoops. 

so here’s almost 3000 words and a whole bunch of screenshots under the cut because i don’t want to spam everyone’s dashboards with my unprompted Opinions(tm).

so anyway i’ve been thinking it’s a translation/tone thing. when i have the time/energy, i might sit down and really try to analyse the actual language, but just going off my intuition, i think maybe it’s because:

1. sometimes they choose to express something idiomatically and so that tone doesn’t come across as sincere. this isn’t a real example, but let’s think about the difference in tone between “oh no!” and “yikes”. because of modern day vernacular, we kind of associate “yikes” with a sarcastic and judgmental tone, whereas “oh no!” might connote a more genuinely concerned reaction. so sometimes i think that the use of very contemporary vernacular (which, lbr, trends towards a more sarcastic tone in general bc us gen z kids are mean) results in a lack of sincerity which makes the mc come across as a little more callous and less... actually kind and nice? i did get the feeling that hlitf mc has recently swayed towards this sort of tone as well and suspected that they had the same translator (which was confirmed later in a voltage Q&A). i’m definitely #biased but i can forgive this more because we had a good amount of content with her being adorable before the tone switch so i have a pre-established impression of her in my mind. 

by the way, i just want to say that while i do have this critique, i do really admire and respect the voltage translation and localisation team (and am... super indebted to them) and i do think they do fantastic translations generally. 

anyway, i believe this linguistic issue is at least partially responsible for my personal perception of the rmd mc’s personality that i expand on in the succeeding points, but my next point has more to do with the writing and characterisation of the most recent wave of mcs.

2. rmd mc has very few visible vulnerabilities. i think this is one of my biggest qualms with the new title mcs like rmd, destind and mk but i think stories are at their best when you get to see the mc fail and be vulnerable and wallow. the reason why i love certain mcs - particularly the ones whose titles and storylines centre around their careers (hlitf, irresistible mistakes, my last first kiss, scandal, celebrity darling, kiss of revenge, sleepless, otbs, arguably msb, etc.) - is because we get to see them fail and then grow. not only that, but you often get to see the relationship between the mc and the love interest deepen in these moments. but if you have a ‘perfect’ mc, then there’s no room for growth, so plotlines are forced to fall back on drama and trauma on the love interest’s side which... is exactly what rmd and mk do. 

this is not to say that rmd mc doesn’t make mistakes, because she certainly does, but i don’t find that they’re ever genuinely serious mistakes. for example, think about hlitf mc’s repeated mistake in season 1 of going after small crimes without seeing the bigger picture and thus potentially messing up an entire investigation. they allow her that space to mess up and be completely wrong for public safety. then they give her the time to be self-reflective and run away back to nagano really think about what her mistakes are, and where to go from there. she is confronted with humbling failure, and is forced to address issues about her own pride/ego, and matures into someone who has a more nuanced idea about justice. on the other hand, rmd mc never has to (consistently, afaik) go through a genuinely humbling experience, so she her pride/ego/arrogance never gets seriously called into question. maybe this is because the premise of rmd has to do with life and death and they don’t want to make it seem like she’s directly responsible for someone’s death, but hlitf also deals with life and death issues and the mc learns that if she messes up to save one civilian, she may actually be jeopardising the lives of tens or hundreds or more. 

anyway, taking takado’s route as an example, because this was our exposure to her as a character, the most frustrating thing is the way that she tries to lecture takado that he’s wrong about his attitude towards amputations, and never actually has to personally experience the potentially disastrous consequence of putting her ideology into practice. i think i would have enjoyed the route a lot more if she had gone over his head and naively made the decision not to do an amputation and then the person ended up dying or having to have a larger section amputated all because she was like uwu we can’t just cut off people’s limbs without waiting. i think if that situation had happened, we could have seen her actually have to confront her own naiveté and realise that she’s a noob and too idealistic and that reading a lot of medical journals does not translate to having actual field experience and intuition and who is she to question him like that when she knows nothing. she only realises that omg... we may have to consider some things with something called nuance... basically when more of takado’s backstory is revealed.  

(maybe this is because i work in academia so it extra-frustrates me, but omg if i had to one-on-one mentor a student like her, i would genuinely go nuts. she reminds me of some students that some colleagues and i have had where they  “well, actually” at everything you say bc they read some stuff on reddit or twitter that has absolutely not been proven through practical application of, or research conducted through the lens of, their theory. like imagine i told my advisors “despite being experts in [their respective fields] and having written numerous very important books, you’re wrong because i don’t agree but i have never myself conducted proper research to counter that!!”)

basically i wish they treated takado’s route like kaga’s routes (bc lbr takado and kaga are maybe... the same person?). look at the self-reflection here:

and here:

she does get down on herself at times, but look at the way that she humbly accepts her mistakes. sometimes she wallows on her mistakes, as anyone would, but look at the way she examines her failures and turns that feeling of inadequacy into motivation to work harder and smarter. 

by the way, these screenshots are from his ms1 and ms2 - so pretty early on - and we get to see her learn from these mistakes because she’s allowed to make them. we also get to learn more about kaga’s strictness and his kindness because of these mistakes.

i don’t know if the whole refusal to allow rmd mc to make significant errors is a response to readers who are like “omg.... why are voltage mcs so weak, why can’t they be perfect women who never get anything wrong” but ANYWAY i just feel like they never confront or address her hubris properly. 

3. following on from point 2, i find her one-dimensional. i’ve mentioned this before in a rant, but i don’t find her to be a very deep character bc to me, she reads as mostly surface level sass. i said: “her dialogue with them often reads as like they put 100 points in “snark” and 0 points in any other personality trait” lmao. so she’s great in one-off screenshots where you can see her bite back with a very screenshottable one-liner, but i find it tiring to have 30 chapters of her just literally running her mouth. because of this constant tone that they keep giving her, i find it really difficult to see any emotional depth in her character. because she’s the perspective character, her internal dialogue is just as, if not more, important as the love interest’s external dialogue in terms of carrying the emotional weight of falling in love, and i just don’t understand how there’s any sense of two people falling in love and getting to know each other when every sentence out of her mouth is just sass. can you imagine you meet someone and you get to know them but never have any genuine conversations bc every line out of your mouth is sarcastic? like your date is opening up and telling you about some difficulties he’s going through (which i’m sure you all know is a very vulnerable and scary thing to do) and instead of being empathetic and kind and understanding, you’re just like “sucks to be you dude”. and instead of saying “you don’t need to carry everything on your shoulders”, you say “you’re STUBBORN and i’m RIGHT”. OF COURSE i’m being kind of hyperbolic here (not even that much tho, see screenshots below) but that’s basically the tone she constantly takes. 

so when takado opens up about the rina thing, instead of being like “oh shit i’ve been judging him all this time and i’m genuinely sorry because i didn’t know a thing about you and yet i’ve been running my mouth”, she says “your head is as hard as a rock ya know?” and then KEEPS GOING. 

where’s the empathy sis? where is it? i’m looking but i can’t find it.

EVEN TAKADO WAS LIKE “I WAS TRYING TO TALK SERIOUSLY ABOUT IT”

and then the writers just push off her rudeness as like “it’s okay it’s chill!! takado laughed about it afterwards and it made the issue sound insignificant!!” even tho it’s obviously an extremely traumatic thing? WHY does he even fall in love with her??? i don’t UNDERSTAND alsdkfjs she has NO FEELINGS!! i just want genuinely romantic moments... is that too much to ask... it’s called romance md...

once again, let’s compare that to hlitf mc, when she finds out about kaga’s trauma. literally the FIRST reaction she has is to consider his feelings.

without even hearing his side of the story, she defends him because she trusts him and immediately empathises with him and the first thing she does is try to understand him and where he’s coming from. 

later on, when she hears him just dismissing things and playing callous, she actually cries on his behalf, which shocks him because he’s not used to people caring about him:

isn’t that a MASSIVE difference in reaction to essentially the same character opening up about their trauma? which do you find more conducive to developing emotional intimacy? in my opinion, it’s so much easier to fall in love with someone who supports you and has your back and trusts and believes in you and tries to understand you and can have a genuinely caring conversation with you when you need it. by the way, it’s not like kaga’s mc doesn’t sass him either! they have great bantery chemistry and she shit-talks him ALL THE TIME (a lot of the time under her breath and he’s like HUH? it’s great). 

and yet... we still actively see her caring about him... instead of being like WHOOPS my tongue slipped, i can’t help that i’m naturally insubordinate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

by the way, i’m not trying to put the onus on female characters/heroines to be caring/empathetic/kind/loving. i’m putting the onus on ALL characters to be caring/empathetic/kind/loving in their own ways if we’re supposed to be convinced that they’re falling in romantic love. sure, kaga’s mc is exceptionally loving but kaga returns that love with his own ALL the time ;~~; anyway i’m gonna stop talking about them for now bc otherwise i would just completely derail and keep going on and on about them. 

anyway, back to takado, i actually find him to be more caring and loving than his mc? i actually genuinely like takado as a character and i think that real life me and him would be great together so i’m like extra offended that he’s with her rather than ME??? i would treat him so much better. 

i consider this lack of emotional depth to actually be a bigger hindrance on my enjoyment of the game than the lack of flaws thing. voltage’s recent wave of mcs with the love choice titles have been trending towards the ‘perfect woman’ type of mc, but while i have some Thoughts(tm) here and there about the other protagonists, none of them strike me as being as hard to get along with as rmd’s mc. so i’ve mentioned my issue with the masukisu mc’s weird moral boundaries (more an overall voltage issue that manifests the most strongly in her character), but i also do find that they don’t let her make big mistakes and they present her as this perfect superwoman figure with no weaknesses which like... unrelatable. but at least her banter is flirty banter and there’s a lot of chemistry there (even if it’s sometimes lacking emotional depth, as in some of kazuomi’s scenes - and that’s not her fault, that’s 100% on kazuomi lol). you can definitely understand why they’re attracted to each other at least, and you can definitely see real, deep love form between her and yuzuru the most. even though the masukisu mc is a ‘perfect woman’, the premise is designed to spark relationship conflict and the writing really helps us understand the emotional turmoil of falling in love with a target because of how much it lets the mc dwell on it. destind too basically has a perfect mc in terms of work/career, but they let her have her very glaring weaknesses and, once again, the premise forces her to address her shortcomings with regards to her idealistic view on soulmates/destiny and explores the head vs heart thing where she has to really examine her emotions and how they potentially come into conflict with her preconceptions of and preoccupation with numerical compatibility. 

thinking about it objectively, i feel like takado’s mc and mlfk ayato’s mc have a couple of similarities in the way that they don’t realise they’re in love for the longest time (although obviously childhood friends to lovers provides a better context for not realising that love - same with my boi natsume), but there’s just something lovable about mlfk’s mc that i don’t see in rmd. without going too deeply into it bc (1) i’m tired and (2) i’ve been going on about this for WAY too long now, i think that comes back to tone or writing (and possibly translation) style. i think at some point, i might actually go and compare the language in the “omg am i in love...?” scenes between takado’s mc, ayato’s mc and natsume’s mc but uh... not tonight haha. 

actually, at some point, i genuinely wondered if rmd mc was aromantic. i really just thought she did not experience romantic attraction because i literally got no sense of it through her internal monologue bc they kept pushing the whole like “i only relate to people’s ~aesthetics~” thing. and then i wondered how they were going to make an aromantic mc fall in romantic love...? because... it’s an otome game? (btw i’m not saying that aro people can’t enjoy otoge, i definitely know people who do! but there’s a big diff between someone playing an otoge vs someone being a character falling in romantic love in an otoge. but please call me out if i’m misunderstanding aromanticism!). anyway, long story short, rmd mc (takado’s especially) falling in love is absolutely unconvincing to me because i find her dialogue - both internal and external - rather unfeeling. 

these three points (1. translation that favours colloquialism over communicating emotional tone; 2. characterisation of a hubristic mc who doesn’t need to overcome significant challenges; 3. lack of emotional depth and empathy/understanding) are basically why i don’t think that she has good romantic chemistry with the love interests in romance md that i’ve read so far. i also have some very petty personal gripes (sekai...........) but they’re not relevant to this particular topic and frankly just... really petty so i don’t want to get into them here.

so anyway, long story short: i agree that i don’t think she would really vibe with kasumi in her current given state. like, they could be friends, maybe.

[flvcr]

— ( harry styles, twenty-five, cismale, he/him ) did you see ETIENNE FLUOR walking down main street earlier? you know who i’m talking about, they’re a POTTER / HOCKEY PLAYER. everybody in town says that they’re IDEALISTIC & INTUITIVE, but have a tendency to be UNPREDICTABLE & DESTRUCTIVE too. ETIENNE has been in town for THREE years. c'mon, they’re always requesting RUNNIN’ WITH THE DEVIL BY VAN HALEN at karaoke nights. well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! @westmerestarters​

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is a LOT of info about my bb, etienne. ** insert clown emoji but make ‘em yee-haw ** if you’d like to plot you can reach me on here or at space cowboy#8536 on discord !! <33 v excited to interact with y’all and your bbs !!

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘

name: etienne ‘ marcel ‘ fluor. 

nicknames: goes by marcel, only allowing very few people to call him etienne.

gender / pronouns : cismale / he, him.

age: twenty-five.

birthday: june 27th.

zodiac: cancer !!

orientation: pansexual / panromantic.

occupation: hockey player ( currently injured ) // potter ( for fun ) !!

languages spoken: french, english & italian.

𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

- PINTEREST - featuring his wardrobe, his home, his aesthetic, some character inspo and olive, his german shepard pup !!

- SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - what he is currently listening to !!

personality type: INFJ-T / THE ADVOCATE

moral alignment: chaotic good

style-wise: etienne is v stylish, but isn’t overly flashy by any means. he’s intuitive in the sense of what works and what doesn’t. willing to explore the latest wardrobe craze, but also just likes what he likes and likely won’t venture out unless pressed by another to do so. post coming soon for his wardrobe !!! they say that the cancer man’s clothing is selected to reflect “ sophistication over flash “ but kdgjn i’ll let ya’ll be the judge of that. he’s v much harry inspired clothing wardrobe, but also tones it down with some casual looks, especially when it comes to getting his hands dirty in creative aspects !! but can be a bit on the flashier side as well, especially w/ hockey press and what not !!

𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

   etienne ‘ marcel ’ fluor was born in montpellier, france to two lovely parents, theodore and estelle fluor ( both born in england themselves ) . he is the youngest of his siblings, having one older brother and an older sister, all of them being roughly two years apart. at the age of eight, his family relocated to montreal, canada as a result of a promotion his mother received, which at such a young age, etienne had no qualms with, despite his siblings’ uneasiness.  upon moving to a new country at a young age, etienne truly found himself via escaping into various books and movies. often attempting to write his own and would force encourage his siblings to act his skits/plays out for his parents enjoyment. he continues to be very close with his parents and siblings - recently he taught his parents how to use facetime, so catch him face timing his family on sunday nights. 

   growing up, etienne also enjoyed playing all types of sports ( his parents signing him up hoping that he’d make friends as a result, which he did ). when it came down to it, athletic abilities-wise, there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t ‘ good ’ at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual / as well as a perfectionist. that competitive/perfectionist energy caused him to go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. overall, he’s very athletic, found alternating between various sports offered not only at school, but as well as through local clubs. ultimately, his love and appreciation for hockey swayed him and soon enough it became his sole focus. due to his perfectionist tendencies, etienne is very dedicated to his craft, he will spend hours practicing specific tricks and skills in order to be the best at what he does, which transcends past hockey and into, really, every aspect of his life. 

   throughout highschool ; etienne was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not, as well as take part in various clubs and sports ! just SOFT and sporty things. during this time, he joined the ontario hockey league and from there was eventually scouted out and recruited to the pittsburgh penguins as a defenseman at the age of eighteen - forgoing his parents desire for him to attend a university. although he enjoyed his time with pittsburgh, he was excited when the idea of being traded came up - eager to explore a new city and immerse himself in a new area. 

      trigger warning - injury, dislocation ( just in case !!!! ) however, he really didn’t enjoy new york ( hehe ), so he relocated to westmere soon after his initial arrival to nyc - finding a lot of comfort in living in a less populated area. he would commute during the hockey season to nyc, which to him wasn’t very far away, so this is where he’s been residing for the last three years !! however, in the last couple of weeks while training for the upcoming season my lil bb injured himself - not to get into tooooo much detail, i’ll just leave it at shoulder dislocation / joint separation due to a hard hit !! basically he’s out for this upcoming season, already having surgery completed, he’s currently healing for the next couple of months, allowing himself to fully experience that westmere fall !!!

   overall, etienne can come off as a bit reserved, and distant whether that be a result of his untrusting nature of others, or simply unfamiliarity. it takes a bit of time before he feels comfortable to share his true opinion / commentary / only doing so when he feels secure to do so. he’s not necessarily unfriendly, just a bit distant / lost in his thoughts. which varies, as with most ppl ofc, upon person to person and his level of comfortability among them. despite his often lack of conversation, he abhors an uncomfortable silence to settle and will fill it with nonsense to simply avoid the feeling altogether. so, if you ever want to catch him rambling, just making him uncomfortable dkjfngdf. he definitely approaches most things with a bit of ‘ tough love ‘ . he doesn’t mind getting into a quarrel or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. etienne will tell others when they are fucking up, and if they are throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it, which explains his bout of reckless antics. he can come off as a know it all, when it comes to advice giving, but more so because he thinks he’s really good at analyzing others and situations they are in, not necessarily because he’s lived through them himself, he’s just rather intuitive and able to empathize quite easily with others despite his verbal admittance of it. when it comes down to this binches reckless bits, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all ( especially bc he’s definitely not sharing those feelings with the people around him ), therefore he’s willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels overwhelmed by numbness. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ mind ya business. but he’ll likely try to drag somebody else into it, and make it seem like it was their idea. but if he is truly comfortable with somebody, he walks a fine line of won’t stop talking, especially if it’s an interest of his, and comfortable silence.

_________________________

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 & 𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖘

he is a CANCER, therefore in this essay i will..... kidding but here’s some fun cancer info i saw that applies to my bb !! at first he appears to be wistful, sarcastic ( maybe a lil crabby ) , shy, distant and mysterious. this personality remains if he isn’t completely comfortable around somebody. but overall, that’s just his facade, his ‘smokescreen’ of sorts to scare off the world from his outwards persona. underneath that layer ( makes me think of shrek metaphor with onions // don’t mind me ), BUT he’s gentle, kind and affectionate ( if you manage to make it to that level * bell dings * ) !!! overall, etienne is a sensitive soul, a bit emotional although he’d rather d*e than show that to others. likely will internalize anything that can hurt his feelings / a low blow and will do something chaotic as a result later on bc of it. very polite, and a little worldly, he is truly the epitome of old-school gentlemanly manners. chivalry coming as a second nature to him !!

that was getting ramble-y, so continuing HERE. but when it comes to romance, as per the cancer man, the concept of love is a mystery, one that etienne is trying to attain. however, his shyness and innate distrust of others make it difficult for him to allow himself to fall in love. his guard is always up when it comes to his emotions, and it’ll take a bit of prodding before he’s willing to speak up on what’s desired from him. he’s v picky when it comes to finding the “ partner of his dreams “ - but he’s def willing to throw himself into the romance of the situation, i.e. buying flowers, riding white horses, and slaying metaphorical dragons. the traditional side means that he will shower his partner with thoughtful gifts, wine and dine them in the best restaurants, and try to grant their every wish. he will take the garbage out, fix that wobbly shelf, navigate on road trips, and kill more so trap and release bugs for his partner, and most important of all he will do it all without being asked. his loyalty and keen attention to the needs and wants of his potential partner. so basically, more so willing to showcase through actions than speak on it. it’s the little things, right ??!?!?! he def cherishes not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body, and soul.

prides himself on being able to make a mean cup of coffee, likely the worst person to watch a movie with bc he knows exactly how it’s going to end after only watching five minutes of it, he has a godawful sense of direction, will walk in circles for fifteen minutes before even raising a question about it/noticing ( but he refuses to acknowledge it. )

his house, car, workspace, junk drawer, closet….you name it - it’s organized, practically sparkling. often times arranged by color, and / or style. nothing is ever out of place, and if it is - there’s trouble brewing. but, more than anything, if he’s visiting somebody’s place and it’s messy, he will spend a solid thirty minutes picking everything up before doing whatever it is that was intended.

likes : reading, flowers, handwritten notes/letters, deep cleaning, baking, working on his pottery, watching the history channel and true crime docs and playing / watching hockey !!

dislikes : artichoke, clutter, sandals ( fkjgh ), unrealistic plotlines in movies &+ burnt coffee.

habits :  likely has a severe caffeine addiction, although he’s now normalized having six cups of coffee throughout his day. he’s an early riser, no matter how little the amount of sleep he’s received, he’s always the first to rise - for his early morning runs !!

strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring, convincing, determined and passionate, decisive, altruistic, intuitive !!

weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, low-key always needs to have a cause / purpose, can burn out easily !!

overall : etienne truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his bit of chaotic energy / as well as his often points of getting lost in his thoughts. he won’t realize he’s been quiet for the last three hours unless it’s mentioned to him. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day. wahoo! his more reckless antics increase when he’s feeling a bit emotional !! but he’ll likely try and convince somebody to propose the idea so it’s not on him.

𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

he lives with sebastian !! with his commuting to nyc for the hockey season, he wanted somebody to be able to take care of his house / garden and what not, and thus, seb arrived.

he’s v into making ceramics, cups / bowls / vases / etc !! what began as a fun hobby to distract himself in the offseason became something that he truly enjoys. ( laughing about that scene in ghost BUT DKJFNG OKAY ) although he’s pretty low-key about it, you can catch him at the farmers market selling his creations !! some pictures of his work can be found on his pinterest board !!

he is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school and has no plans on eating seafood/meat ever again.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured. 

he can play the drums !!

he collects vintage matchbooks and the stickers off of various fruits ( he puts them in a little notebook - can be found on his bookshelf ).

saves handwritten notes and letters from pals.

he loves to garden !!!! he has a specified rose shearing hat.

HE WANTS TO JOIN A BOOKCLUB PLEASE !!!!!!!! or at least have some casual moments of silence with another reading. plz and tysm.

to make things a bit simple, he has all of harry’s tattoos !!  might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

i am so up for anything!! please accept this ramble of ideas thrown below.  if you have any other ideas, lmk !!!! <3333 :’-) down to start from scratch and PLOT PLOT PLOT !

( 2 / 2 ) - BFFZ : the z for an added emphasis dkfjgnd. somebody who likely has a key to etienne’s house, they can enjoy one anothers company as well as the bouts of comfortable silence. you know how best friends are but kdjfngd still !! whether they are likeminded or polar opposites that just flow ~~ down for anything !! even a trio of sorts ?!

( 1 / 1 ) - RIDE OR DIE / CHAOTIC COMPANION : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although etienne may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around.

( 1 / 1 ) - GUARDIAN ANGEL / GOOD INFLUENCE : with etienne being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may be worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

( 1 / 1 ) - PARTY FRIEND : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embarrassing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details. likely the only person etienne confides in, simply bc he’s completely plastered.

( 1 / 1 ) - SIBLING-LIKE RELATIONSHIP : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. truly a pure content filled relationship.

okay quick mention, ENEMY PLOTS ?!?!?!?!?!? i would live for one. i can’t imagine etienne being hardcore nasty, but i’d like to see whatever version comes out for this. so let’s get it djfngjakdfg maybe they just hold different viewpoints on the world and what not and clash, anything really !!! v open !!

( 1 / 1 ) - MENTOR - etienne needs a bit of structured or unstructured guidance, all depending on what their deemed mentor is wanting to impart on him, a bit of wisdom or slight chaos. kdjfgn he’ll take anything !! 

RANDOM LITTLE IDEAS : maybe they’ve heard of one another in town, but haven’t quite met yet! or maybe they see each other around all the time, but have yet to introduce themselves to one another but low-key maybe in some online forum for the town together ?! who knows some fun things kdjnfg i AM OPEN !

ooh maybe a slowburn of sorts ?! something spicy to wreck HIS and my life with.  dkfjgn we can base this off of chemistry !!! :’-)

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hi, hope you're okay! Can I have a matchup for phoenix's arthur? I'm 5'4 with long blonde wavy hair & green eyes with round glasses. I'm an INFP and love true crime, I want to pursue a career in criminal psychology/profiling. I'm really quiet around new people and may accidentally say something mean (I don't mean to, I'm really trying to work on being nicer, I just panic), but once I get comfortable around people, I'm better. I also have Raynaud's , so it'd be really cool if he can react to that

I get it mostly on my fingers & it makes it difficult to move my hands lol. Thanks for doing this, I really appreciate it x

Brace your eyes, honeybee!!! This is a looooong one ksksskks under a cut!! so sorry that this was late omggg I’ve been dealing with… a lot and I had a bit of anxiety with this piece bc I love you and you’re amazing and I wanted to get this right. I hope that the length makes up for it, darling! I know you asked for just Arthur but I added his Joker by way of apology for this being late!!

WC for all four ships: 2, 977.

Arthur // wc: 730.

With a four inch height difference between the two of you, Arthur does feel a little bit more protective of you; he loves nothing more than wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tight into his body, his chin resting on the curve of your shoulder, his face buried in your warm neck as he hides himself from the world and sometimes, on his darkest days, from you. Arthur takes a great deal of comfort from even your existence, so in love with you is he. Your hair is long and he loves it. He enjoys sitting on the sofa with you sat behind him while he brushes your hair out for you (if you let him), while he washes it for you over the bath… Arthur will do anything for even five minutes more in your presence, he holds you in such a high esteem. And your eyes, oh, but he could get lost in those green oceans which gaze at him with such reverence. Arthur also makes sure that your glasses are always looked after; he makes sure that they’re in their usual place, and he gingerly holds them in between his index finger and his thumb while he wordlessly cleans them for you. You are his entire world and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. 

You love true crime and Arthur… he doesn’t stay away from it and he does like to curl up on the sofa with you, but he’ll burrow his face in your neck because there’s enough crime just outside the apartment. He doesn’t especially want to be reminded of anything, either, but he uses this time to spend it with you. Sometimes he’ll actually watch it but that’s more because he wants to get closer to you through doing so and not because he’s genuinely enjoying it. He is your biggest supporter and Arthur will help you with anything and everything. Arthur was a tenth grade drop out so he really is very protective not only of your studying time but also of your well being. He knows better than most what can happen when one works themselves to the bone without reprieve and he’s determined that such a thing will not happen to you. He would do and be anything if it meant helping you with your chosen career path in any way. He likes to spend time with you while you’re watching true crime and he’ll ask you what you like about it, why and any and every question that he can think of. Arthur admires the passion in you, your drive and he especially loves the way that your eyes light up when you’re talking about the things you love the most.

You’re both really quiet around new people. Arthur, especially, because he’s always so scared that he’ll have a laughing fit and ruin his chances of friendship before he even knows it’s there, so preemptively does he keep his mouth shut. You sometimes say mean things but it wouldn’t deter Arthur; he’s very emotionally intuitive and I think he’d be able to see those signs of panic in you. “You didn’t mean to say it like that, did you?” You shake your head and Arthur gives you a weary, knowing smile. “Do you - I mean, do you want to - try that again?”it’s a system that stays long after the two of you are dating and it saves more arguments than it starts. You’re better when you’re comfortable around him but the system stays, both because you’re used to it by that point and also because it carries fond memories of shy smiles, half finished sentences and blushes which dust both of your cheeks in rose. 

There is nothing that Arthur can’t adapt to, there is nothing that he can’t understand. He’s eager to please and because of that is he quick to learn and as such, when you have trouble moving your hands, Arthur’s there to take them in between both of his. He’ll cup them tightly, a frown on his face as he desperately tries to warm your hands up with his. Because of his malnutrition and the various effects of all those medications he’s on, Arthur has cold hands, too, but he tries, he tries, and together, with a joint effort, do hands and souls alike warm up under each other’s tender touch. 

Joker // wc: 828.

OMGGGG this man is head over heels for you. You were with him through it all; everything that he went through and experienced, every injustice he suffered, every right and wrong… you were there through it all and you stayed, you stayed after he succumbed to all that was making him numb, after he chose the name (but not the things that came with it, he didn’t want any of those), and for that, you’re together for life. Joker is 1000000% committed to you and without you he just simply isn’t whole. He behaves in all the same ways towards you that he used to, you, his one and only person who understands him, but he’s much more protective of you. Joker is less tolerant of anything which could cause you even the smallest pieces of discomfort or hurt. You are his entire world, his whole life and his whole life and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. And I mean nothing. How special a soul you are, to command Arthur’s love for you. What you share is something very special, very raw and real… it’s once in a lifetime and you both know it.

Where before did Arthur hide himself in your neck, now he watches attentively. His knees bounce, his body shakes, he chuckles and laughs if the narrator makes a dark joke (and makes sure to remember it for later on; his material is never fully perfected, try as he might), and he makes sure that he remembers all those hints and tips laced within the narrative of how to get rid of forensic evidence, of how to escape and to look after oneself. You want to pursue a career in criminal psychology and in profiling and Joker is fascinated by all of it. All of it. He’s not afraid to ask you to read to him, his head cushioned on your chest late at night. His green curls fanned out across your body, his hands trailing along the sides of your body, fingers splayed to touch as much of you as he can all at once… it’s sensual, these quiet moments together and neither of you would trade them for the world. He slips off to sleep at the touch of your hand, the sound of your voice, your heartbeat in his ear… Sometimes Joker worries that because of your chosen career, that you’ll turn him in or you’ll be placed in danger because of him. You getting harmed in even the smallest of ways scares Joker like nothing else; without you, he truly has nothing left to lose. He’ll do anything to protect you, anything to keep you safe. Anything.

By this time in your relationship, you’re both more than comfortable with each other and you both know when the other person needs space or some extra love. You and Joker know each other like the backs of your hands and there’s an easy sort of intimacy between the both of you, both of you able to fully relax and to be yourselves around the other. You’re trying to work on being nicer and Joker admires that effort; he knows better than most that it isn’t easy and he would make sure that when you’re feeling like you still need to be more, he’s there to tell you that you’re enough; just because you you’re and who you are is beautiful. You have always been his greatest comfort, his biggest reason, his everything and Joker never lets you doubt it for even a second. There is nothing you could ever say or do which would make him less proud of you. Nothing. Joker loves you for all that you are, all that you have ever been and all that you will ever be and he can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you.  

Joker is often out of the apartment for long stretches of time and he comes and goes at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes you wonder if he wanders the streets at night looking to get jumped. He’s so self-punishing even now, and it’s something that you wouldn’t put past him, though it does break his heart. When he comes home, he is freezing. The sweet, sweet man takes a hot shower and comes to bed, warmed up just so that he can warm you up; especially in winter, it’s so important for you to keep warm and when you can’t move your hands, Joker’s there to wait on you and he adores the way he’s able to take care of you, a natural caregiver is he. When he first found out about it, he asked you any and every question which he could think of, wanting to learn about it but also the ways it affects you and how he can help you. You have always been and will always be Arthur’s number one priority, and that’ll never change, no matter what.

Pepperminnttttt~ // wc: 710.

This one took me longer to write bc I kept blushing omgggg 🥺😍😭🥺

Heath’s six foot but I headcanon Pat to be roughly 5′8, which means that there’s a good four inches in height difference between the two of you. Pat loves to fold you in his arms, the sharp angle of his chin resting on the crown of your head. He likes to approach you from behind, a strong, muscular arm winding around your waist. It makes you jump and he chuckles, his face brushing yours, his lips in the hollow just behind your ear. “Whoa, easy, girlie,” and he glares at anyone who rolls their eyes, looks at you in a way he doesn’t like, and so on. Pat uses the reputation he never really asked for or wanted to protect you. He doesn’t care what others say about him, but about you? He’d go nuts if someone dared to go after you. You have long blonde hair and green eyes and Pat is always unable to say more than, “Wow, you look…. wow.”, a smirk on his face. You truly are beautiful and he adores every single thing about you. You’re the only one to see him for who he really is and he does everything that he can to show you how appreciative he is of you for that.

You love to watch true crime and Pat often camps out with you on the sofa, a blanket over both of your shoulders and a bowl of popcorn or something similar balanced precariously on the spaces between your laps. His fingers brush against yours occasionally when he reaches for some popcorn and he’s either feeding you kernels or chucking them up in the air and catching it effortlessly, a cocky smirk on his face if you act impressed. You want a career in criminal psychology and though Pat doesn’t really care much about his future because he prefers to live in the moment, he is so supportive of you and there’s nothing he won’t do for you. That’s not to say that he’ll even pick up a textbook for you, but he’ll be there to rub your back when you’re stressed, he’ll be there to kiss your anxieties away, and he’s there with silly comments to make you laugh when it truly counts. Love’s about sticking around and Pat proves that to you.

You’re quiet about new people but Pat isn’t deterred; he knows better than most that what you see isn’t always what you get, so he is his usual charming and persistent self. He finds ways to make conversations with you, he finds ways to get you to talk. Pat does everything he can to get to know you and if you ever accidentally say something you don’t mean, Pat gives you one of his concentrated looks. “You didn’t mean that, did you?”  // “No, I’m sorry, I - “ // “You panicked, I know. You’re not afraid of me, are you?” // “No, I - “ and you get talking that way. Pat is emotionally intuitive, very clever and very patient and there’s nothing he won’t do for you. You’re working on being nicer and Pat is so proud of you. Sometimes he’ll tap your bottom lip with a finger and say, “Play nice” if you spoke out of turn, or he’ll just look at you until you come back into yourself. You never doubt yourself around him, he doesn’t allow it, and the aura around him is so calming that you couldn’t even if you wanted to. 

Pat is always, always concerned for your health and for your well being. There’s nothing he won’t do or say for you, nothing at all, and he makes sure that he always has heating pads, gloves, anything that will keep you warm and comfortable. Pat is always holding your hands, always making sure that you’re okay, that you’re being taken care of. He reacted positively to finding out that you have Raynaud’s and when it’s hard to move your hands, he’s there waiting on you. Anything you want, anything you need, and Pat is right there for you. He loves you so so much that it drives him mad, but, well… you love him just as fiercely, and that’s what he clings to even in his darkest of hours.

Pretty panda // wc: 709.

J is a clean six foot so there is a six inch height difference between you and omgggg ~ J’s nicknames for you can be anything from shortstack, sweetcheeks, shortcake, shortie… he means it to be teasing and though he’ll toe the line of your boundaries he won’t ever push them or break them entirely. J respects you, he trusts you, and if you’re not okay with those names then he won’t use them. He loves your long hair; when the sunlight catches it, it looks golden and he appreciates the different tones. It reminds J of you, strangely; of how you have your own multiple layers and complexities. He adores your eyes, too… J doesn’t care at all about appearances but he really does enjoy looking into your eyes and seeing you look back at him. If eyes are the windows to the soul then yours, my dear, are radiant. J can read everything in your eyes - your every mood - and there’s something which doesn’t quite feel right to him unless chocolate meets green often. Sometimes at night, J has a nightmare and he needs to see those green fields to calm the pounding of his heart; he rarely wakes you up, though. He just shrugs it off and tries his best to get back to sleep. He may not be a man with a plan but he does have ideas; and they won’t bring themselves to fruition.

J finds endless amusement in the way that he’s a terrorising murderous clown and you love true crime and want to work in the same fields. He gets a good kick out of it and though he worries that you’ll be in danger or that you won’t be able to keep up with him, once he invited you along with him. “C’mon, s’no good watching it all the time - what’d’ya say - wanna, ah - see it ya’self?” Nothing special happens that night, it’s only a bank heist, but even so the thrill you get is unlike anything else. Oh, but you feel so alive. J is there for you no matter what you decide to do with your future; he can use his many connections to get you a proper foot in the door. He also doesn’t see that you need a career; he can rob a bank any day to provide you with a comfortable life, but he respects and understands and likes that you’re your own person with your own hopes and dreams and he’ll do anything to support you. 

You’re really quiet around new people but J’s not all that fussed by it. He can read body language well enough anyway, so anything that you don’t say he can read in your eyes, see it on your face. He calls you his open book, his, and the inflexion in that phrase makes your stomach swoop each and every time he says it. If you accidentally say something mean, J just exhales amusement through his nose. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t call you out on it, he just stays quiet. In his silence do you hear acceptance, understanding. He knows you didn’t mean it and that’s why he doesn’t say anything about it. When you get comfy around people, you’re better and you don’t panic as often and J appreciates the way that you relax around him. Actions speak louder than words and the way you relax around him tells J  that you trust him. You trust him. There are no words in the world which can express J’s gratitude and the way he’s so deeply touched by it and so he decides to show you every day.

You have Raynaud’s and there’s nothing that J can’t or won’t understand. When you can’t move your hands, J grumbles about it but he helps you in any way that he can. He’s there to warm your hands up, to help you to keep warm too. J runs like a heater, even when it’s ice cold outside, and he’ll help you. He might crack jokes, make comments about how your cold soul is leaking through your skin, but the twinkle of mirth in those beautiful chocolate eyes tells you more than J ever could himself. 

[tarotnoob]

Hi tarotnoob💝 ! Can I please have a life path/purpose reading? I have Sagittarius sun and Gemini moon

uranus-genius: so this card is a bit like the tower. in terms of expecting some extreme changes as opposed to small ones. it would also have to do with careers in any kind of technology/communication. it can have to do with being someone who holds a lot of alternative viewpoints or is part of the lgbt+ community. i typically think of aquarius here - so a more unique path.

child: nature - this has to do with an interest in nature, animals or inner toughness/ability to survive virgin - this is more about preserving energy for creative ventures or someone who’s very good at coming up with ideas, so kinda like the ace of cups or ace of swords... even ace of wands

king of cups clarified by five of wands chariot clarified by strength (reversed?) two of swords - at first clarified with tons of cards that looked romantic and so i wanted just one or two and it still gave me knight of cups six of pentacles - originally justice fell out but justice always falls out so i put it back and got this six of p which is pretty similar and clarified by an ace of p (reversed?)

so i do feel drawn first to the child nature card which menetions an inner toughness or ability to survive because of the first two tarot cards being clarified by a sense of inner struggle and inner strength plus direction/control and then emotional strength...  and in terms of two of swords, which is usually a decision or stall card - there’s again a sense of creativity, love, compassion, emotions, feelings - 

i’d be curious if your north node is something in water or vice versa with the south because there’s a lot of water here...  and the focus seems to be emotional in general...

what’s interesting is the uranus card talks a lot about being emotionally detached as a planet... and here we have all these cups cards. so... it’s kind of either being more in touch with emotions or evening them out.

7s seem to be dominant number here:Seven is deep, introspective, intuitive, private, reclusive, secret, separate, distant, and indifferent to the outer world of phenomena but not to the inner worlds of secrecy, intrigue, hidden mysteries. Seven is highly analytical, inquisitive, perfection-seeking, often critical.

And when i finished clarifying i had 7 of swords at the back of deck, which is mainly secrets and things that are hidden.

looking at the cards i lean toward someone who is emotionally closed off. like getting to know people or letting others in might be quite a difficult task for you. or it could be that it’s very easy for other’s to steal energy that you could be using for yourself, like for your own career.

One part of your purpose/path has to do with learning to share... or learning to ask for help...  and there’s something to do with a certain level of... emotional control sounds dumb but if you’re someone who you feel like your emotions are all over the place, achieving emotional stability... to be less afraid of being vulnerable... and this may have to do with sharing something - possibly of a creative nature - like communication/technology. anything to do with nature or animals. i feel like you may already know what your interest lies in in terms of a career so that part doesn’t fully matter because i feel like a lot of shifting has to do with something internal, something that isn’t quite balanced and seems to have to do with having your guard up around your heart.

it’s funny bc i looked up gemini moon careers:  Moon in Gemini makes one excels in intellectual pursuits arts, technology of any kind, sports, writing, journalism , mathematics, commerce, trade, banking and earning from various sources. Mars in Gemini makes good scientists educationists, engineers, doctors, technologists, and businessman.

This fits the uranus-genius pretty well... and after reading more about gemini moons in general... 

i think the most simple way to put a tangible path is to say that... a career path would be one that involves harnessing like... your feelings, your heart into a creative or any type of endeavor and then sharing that in some way, particularly through communication or technology. ofc this can be many things - blogger, writer, poet, painter, journalist, musician and so on.... you may have hesitancy around doing the actual sharing part so you’d have to make that decision to do it. i’d also think that this activity would help in balancing you out emotionally as well because it’s a good way to direct your energy...

there does seem to be opportunity (financial/job-wise) for this sort of path once you get over these doubts... as a gemini moon it may be difficult to get your energy together (like the chariot does)...

but anyway i just see a sense of... emotional power, but also emotional alloofness. however that’s still someone with creative abilities, maybe even emapthic abilities, a sensitivity...  but also someone who desires to control how much of that gets put out... so maybe therein lies the last hurdle...   and following your gut/intuition is what two of swords suggests...  and the decision itself seems about what, how much, where to share...  and how to balance out whatever this internal emotional struggle seems to be... but with the chariot here, there does seem to be success. and there’s only opportunity there if you do make the decision to share.... your talent.

in terms of color, there’s lots of yellow, blue and a tiny bit of green. so some solar plexus, throat, heart... simplifying this would be like having the confidence to share the truth of your heart if all those are open and active. and like i said 7 is the most common number i’m seeing... 

and as i’m looking at chariot clarified by strength and then child nature again... there is a sense of taming a beast or beasts... so not sure if that’s literal or physical as in you have lots of animals or there’s a lot of inner stuff yet to overcome in turns of direction, control... etc... and finding balance is in several of these cards... 

so yeah hopefully that helps. i can only say some vague things as it’s a stab in the dark to say THIS SPECIFIC THING IS UR FUTURE but i can give those options... and i do think anything that provides an emotional outlet would be good in terms of hobby, career. and in terms of life purpose a sense of achieving internal balance surrounding emotions, particularly... not holding them in and opening up more to others even if it’s only through art or some other expression or work...  but i do think eventually you find that balance, move forward, and share that - whether through career or relationships, or both. and maybe also a sense of making sure that your energy is directed somewhere instead of everywhere - like... more on yourself than others or just wasting time i guess. which is... relative, but...  and as usual, i do think this will be a path in which you’re able to help other people, specifically after helping yourself...

i see this a lot though, especially in people who have an interest in tarot bc it seems we get into tarot around a time we do healing or need healing and usually after we go through that we end up wanting to help others but there’s often a reluctance to completely open up after things we’ve gone through even if we do want to help. or i’m projecting...  but... still, potential to help others as seen in this six of pentacles...  or it could also be that you start your own technology or communications something and receive some funding for it, etc... 

so yeah - hopefully that sheds a little light on stuff. feels vague but it depends on what resonates here as i’m not sure if you’re closed off and a little aloof or you’re actually quite strong and resilient emotionally - not that you can’t be both strong and a little... closed off. so. i forced the six of pentacles out too... so really it’s about the first three cards... and all of them give the sense of being trapped in a protective bubble and so does the virgin card and even child nature... and uranus is explicitly about being a bit separated from emotion, so - 

yeah. lmk if you want.

[aanlaiias-s]

isn’t the squeeze of the irreversible, leaving our tenderest natures aside, active in the strict yet nonlinear complication of the so-called spectrum? not trying to go for any sort of take, hot or not, but i’m thinking about MOGAI and still racked with ambivalence and real confusion about the possibility of living some personas in any fiction where your body has to find its bearings while physically on the scene, in public or even just at the edges of public visibility…

my bitterest nature would say: let as many identities flower as you like but good luck getting read – though i also get the caveat that a new word can be self-descriptive without rising to a demand for recognition, or make that demand only in the company of similars averting binary sexuation -- a stratifying machine that everywhere cuts through intimacies, scripts and encloses gestures, assembles divisions of labor -- need not mean laying claim to recognition, and may even remain thin or negative as self-description... if i have to admit a hesitation to simply accept the pragmatics of the more obscure gender terms, i also have to admit that it comes with a long attraction to how narcissisms converge in and scatter out from imaginary belonging to a type -- i admire how the descriptive impulse pressing on these terms can become sharp and inviting enough to undercut the identitarian purposes from which they would seem to stem all this could just be an indulgence in that sort of imaginary anyway -- specifically vis-a-vis the terms altersex and parasex. what makes these terms both useful and difficult to inhabit is their resistance to the modesty of bids for recognition that are based in a claim on “gender identity”  

altersex refers to those whose sexual morphologies shift out of binary order -- apparently coined to talk about fictional beings, but in theory also available for real live people who alter their sex chemically or surgically. parasex is another way to frame this idea but more neutral bc just about deviation from perisex, the normative absence of “nonconformities” in the sexed body. altersex and parasex are both modeled on intersex, attempting a compromise that would acknowledge potential similarities in experience without appropriating the specific positioning of intersex people w/r/t medical assignments of sexed embodiment and the resultant vulnerability to clinical intervention / biopolitical control... 

altersex and parasex, in contrast to many of the MOGAI terms, refer not to a gender identity but to morphological difference. i should clarify though that sex in this sense is not at all limited to physical embodiment. nor is it complicit in the deceptive and controlling vagueness of a term like “biological sex.” altersex and parasex define sex to include body image and other forms of auto-affection that operate on the experience of a sexed body

maybe there is something unsavory creeping in here -- a reification of the sex/gender division such that alter- or parasexedness would, in a transmedicalist vein, assert superior proximity to the material reconstitution of sex in the “real world” and therefore consign gender identity to the merely imaginary. of course though identification and morphology cannot be so easily pulled apart. nobody really knows where their body image ends and imaginary typification begins  and yet that doesn’t make it any less important to mark how the social ascription of gender can diverge from the lived experience of your body rubbing up against and changing alongside such ascriptions -- as with alterations of hormonal equilibria, for example. not always a damaging or invalidating divergence, but often a difficult one -- bc most people won’t intuitively know or bother trying to match whatever ambiguities your frame offers them with a suitable abbreviation. most people may not even know how to get their sensorium to notice ambiguities in the first place, and when they do it’s mostly just so they can wipe them away asap by initiating a calculus to squeeze your body into one of the two slots. normative protocols of scanning and casual assessment (to say nothing of the affective reticence with which etiquette smooths and clouds such encounters) are designed to put trans people at a loss to find the desire or ability or safety to interrupt the automatic confidence and awkward grasp of cis criteria  not that you always need to “correct” the binary disambiguation, though -- maybe you peel away the anxiolytic film of their knowingness, maybe you choke on or cough up the niceness they stuff the air with, maybe you lock your eyes and flit past their affectations of bewilderment, seeing yourself veer inches from attack. even in the middle of a reflex misrecognition your body image still knows it’s also in the middle of a longer process. it comes up at various loci of response: fear without paranoia;  erogenous acceleration or suffusion or muffling or dilation; inversions, deflections, and recompositions of aggression; awareness of the advancing or retracting contour; giddiness, lightness, impulsiveness; the suction, retention, and leakage of your metabolic cycle and the living conditions it scrubs through... none of that is quite reducible to the phrasing of a self or a persona -- because it is small and gradual enough not to know when exactly it could be assumed, a thousand little habitus transfers that streak further outward with each run through the circuit and in that curvature without telos return on the irreversible 

[frankencomplex]

hc - mbti

          god I already know this is gonna get so fuckign long bc i’m a huge nerd and can never shut up abt personality analyzation. on tht note , if anyone ever wants to talk mbti or just have me overanalyze ur muse’s personality..... hmu bc i physically cannot shut up abt it

charles is an intp ! i’ve probably said this before & it’s like weirdly integral to my portrayal of him ( or at least gives a lot of insight into it ) so for those of you who don’t know what mbti is at All , it’s a personality typology theory that divides human personalities into four categories : introverts / extroverts , intuitives / sensors , thinkers / feelers , and judgers / perceivers. therefore , charles is an introvert intuitive thinker perceiver , or if you want to get real deep & use cognitive function theories , he uses Ti ( introverted thinking ) , Ne ( extroverted intuition ) , Si ( introverted sensing ) , and Fe ( extroverted feeling ) in that order. 

if you read about the basic characteristics of an intp , the personality type ( sometimes nicknamed “ the logician ” ) is known for being “ philosophical innovators, fascinated by logical analysis, systems, and design. They are preoccupied with theory, and search for the universal law behind everything they see. They want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all their complexity. ” source 

the description above is charles to a T , and i’ll explain why ! he’s a huge introvert. by no means does he gain energy from social gatherings , and he’s far more content to explore the contents of his own mind than to explore the minds of others. he’s an intuitive , which means he’s more concerned with abstract , unconventional ideas , and can be quite detached from the world around him , while a sensor would be focused on reality and their concrete senses. he’s metaphorical , dreamy , non - traditional , and unfocused ( though that is not solely an N trait ). he’s a thinker , which means he relies on logic & facts more than his own feelings or the feelings of those around him. lastly , he’s a perceiver , meaning he prefers to work at his own pace without rigid structure , and prefers open endedness over set plans and commitments.

I know that’s a lot , but it makes a lot of sense when you read about it. now , to get deeper , mbti is supported by the theory of cognitive functions ( Ti > Ne > Si > Fe for charles as I mentioned earlier ). the whole idea is that every personality type uses a “ function stack ” of different modes of thinking / interacting with / viewing the world , and there are four predominant functions per type that are all accessed at decreasing levels of development. the first function is the most developed , the last is the least. so , without further ado , here’s charles’s personality type explained by his four functions. i’ve taken the most useful parts of the article on the following website. source

INTPs’ Dominant Function: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Ti involves the application of logic and reason for the sake of understanding a given situation, system, or problem. INTPs use Ti to bring structure and order to their inner world, granting them a strong sense of inner control. Inwardly, INTPs are highly self-disciplined, working to effectively manage their thoughts and their lives. The disciplined nature of their Ti compels INTPs to frame many things as a goal or challenge. These challenges may be physical (e.g., trying to achieve an ideal state of health or fitness), intellectual, practical, psychoemotional (e.g., becoming self-actualized), or later in their development, interpersonal (e.g., “perfecting” a relationship or becoming a skilled lover). In order to succeed in these personal challenges, INTPs are apt to impose rules on themselves. However, because of the wayward influence of their auxiliary Ne, they commonly end up breaking or sabotaging them.

INTPs are also less interested in working with facts than with ideas. Jung writes: “His ideas have their origin not in objective data, but in his subjective foundation.” INTPs are constantly digging into the background of their own thoughts in order to better understand their origins and to ensure their thinking is founded on solid reasoning. They see it pointless to try to build theories on a dubious conceptual platform.

INTPs often find it easier to identify inconsistencies or logical shortcomings—to assert what is not true—than to identify and confidently assert what is true. They can quickly locate inconsistencies or logical shortcomings in a given theory or argument. They excel when it comes to identifying exceptions or imagining scenarios in which the proposed explanation could breakdown. Due to their sensitivity to theoretical exceptions, they can be quick to throw theories and start from scratch. INTJs, by contrast, seem less deterred by ostensible exceptions, perhaps feeling that they will eventually be explained or otherwise rectified.

When functioning constructively, INTPs, like INFPs, often employ a trial-and-error sort of approach to building their theories and ideas. INTPs start with a given (Ti) and then use their auxiliary Ne to explore various connections and possibilities. They also integrate past experiences and acquired knowledge through their tertiary Si. It is usually only after years of toying with ideas that something resembling a systematic and coherent theory may start to emerge.

INTPs’ Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

INTPs use Extraverted Intuition (Ne) as their auxiliary function. Ne can function either perceptively or expressively. The verbal expression of Ne amounts to something like “brainstorming aloud.” When orating, INTPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly drift from one idea to the next. Even ideas that seem inwardly logical and sensible INTPs may suddenly sound incoherent when they attempt to convey them through their Ne.

In its receptive role, Ne prompts INTPs to gather information. It goes beyond or looks behind sense data, allowing INTPs to discern otherwise hidden patterns, possibilities, and potentials. Their Ne is constantly scanning for relationships or patterns within a pool of facts, ideas or experiences. INTPs commonly use this receptive side of their Ne in activities such as reading, researching, and conversation. They enjoy asking questions that allow them to gain insight or knowledge from others, making INTPs good facilitators of conversation.

INTPs may also use their Ne to sniff out intriguing possibilities. They commonly enjoy and assume the role of wanderer or seeker, rarely knowing in advance exactly what they are seeking.

Ne also confers an open-mindedness, helping INTPs see truth on both sides of an issue without forming unwarranted judgments or premature conclusions. More specifically, their Ne can be seen as contributing to their openness to alternative or Bohemian lifestyles. INTPs are those most likely to suddenly become vegetarians, join a commune, or decide to live out of the back of a van. They are drawn to the idea and challenges of an unconventional lifestyle.

Like other NPs, INTPs often have a love-hate relationship with their Ne. They love the fact that it helps them remain open-minded and grasp the bigger picture. But living with Ne also has its challenges. For one, it can make it difficult for INTPs to arrive at firm conclusions or make important decisions. It often seems that at the very moment they are feeling good about a given conclusion or decision, their Ne steps in and causes them to start doubting it again. This has obvious implications for INTPs who are trying to find their niche in the world. This can leave them feeling discouraged and restless, worried that they may never find what they are looking for. They may feel frustrated by their seeming lack of progress toward anything substantial. The fact is that INTPs desperately want to produce something of lasting worth or value, but they also want to ensure they get it right. They don’t want to leave any stone unturned before arriving at a conclusion. While INTPs typically enjoy this quest for truth, there comes a point when they begin to feel the pressures of life impinging on them. Questions about careers and relationships loom large as they enter their late twenties and thirties. This can be frustrating to INTPs as they feel like life is requiring them to make decisions long before they are ready. As is true of all IN types, they feel that life would be far better if they weren’t forced to consider practical concerns.

INTPs’ Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing (Si)

Unlike Ne (or Se), INTPs’ tertiary function, Introverted Sensing (Si), is a conservative function. It involves an attachment to past experiences and past precedent—to the routine, familiar, and predictable. Types with Si in their functional stack, including INTPs, tend to eat a fairly routine or consistent diet, “eating to live” rather than “living to eat.” Si types are not only conservative with regard to their diet, but with respect to the material world in general. They tend to be savers rather than spenders, seeing excessive material consumption as unnecessary, or perhaps even immoral.

Like other Si types, INTPs also have a diminished need for novel physical pleasures, lavish surroundings, or material comforts. They are minimalists to the core, relatively unconcerned with their physical surroundings.

INTPs’ Inferior Function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Last but not least, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) serves as INTPs’ inferior function. While having inferior feeling doesn’t make INTPs emotionless robots, their feelings do seem to have a mind of their own, often coming and going as they please. Realizing how hard it can be to voluntarily contact or summon their emotions, INTPs tend to feel awkward and uneasy in emotional situations. Although they may be cognitively aware of the appropriate emotional response, if they’re unable to directly tap into their feelings, INTPs can appear clumsy, mechanical, or disingenuous. This can be unsettling to others who are looking for outward signs of authentic emotion from the INTP.

Fe is also concerned with maintaining social harmony. While Ti and Ne may inspire INTPs to function as provocateurs, their Fe encourages them to operate as peacemakers. Far more often than INTJs, INTPs will “bite their tongue” in order to avoid hurting or offending others. Doing so also minimizes the likelihood of emotionally-volatile situations which can engender anxiety and disquiet in this type.

Another aim of Fe involves establishing emotional rapport and connection with others. But again, while INTPs may do at fair job at reading others’ emotions, they may fail to actually “feel” what the other person is feeling. This is why INTPs are sometimes described as “outwardly warm, but inwardly cold or calculating.” Fe can be a bit of an act in the first place (e.g., political glad-handing), but this seems particularly commonplace among INTPs and ISTPs. Although casual social engagement may help them feel good for a while, perhaps even give them an ego boost, without sufficient Ti stimulation, it won’t be long before they’re scoping out the nearest exit.

Finally, it’s not unusual for INTPs to oscillate through phases in which they feel they don’t need other people at all. Especially when their work life is running on all cylinders, they can feel invigorated and invincible. But the psyche will only permit this sort of Ti lopsidedness for so long. Eventually, INTPs start feeling a bit lonely or empty, sensing that something important is missing from their lives. This prompts them to reinitiate contact with others, at least until they feel compelled to reassert their independence. Striking a balance between their independence (Ti) and relationships (Fe) can thus constitute a lifelong challenge for this personality type.

that’s all , if you read this far I will love you forever. if you ever want to talk personality shit , here I am

[shestranged]

Bellatrix Hecate Lestrange // the devil shudders as she rises ( she’s taking aim for his throne )

She grew up wanting to break things —- toys and hearts and bones and people. Her father indulged her, quietly forming her into the woman that she is today, a weapon, a beast. Someone who finds peace in the destruction, in the chaos, in the violence. People say that she came out a little wrong - something unhinged about her persona already as a child. Those jet black eyes, waiting to devour you. Sharp teeth pulling into a Cheshire cat grin before she could even speak. As she grew older, she became more adept at hiding her… faults, slowly learning how to suppress her anger, her hatred. Instead growing colder, burning less hot ( a ticking time bomb in the making ). But then she met him. And at his side, she became so much worse. As his right hand, she tapped into unimaginable powers, but it all came at an equally unimaginable price. With him, she became less human, more vile. At his side, all she wanted to see was the streets run red with blood.

what up i’m liz, i’m twenty one and i’m here to bring u my favorite villain and chaotic badass, bellatrix lestrange !! this will be a bit long probably bc i could talk about her 5ever. most important parts to read probably are #hogwarts years, #after hogwarts and #personality stuff !!

PINTEREST BOARD: (x)

PLAYLISTS: (x) (x) (x)

BIOGRAPHY: (x)

QUICK STATS:

name: bellatrix hecate lestrange occupation: senior obliviator former house: slytherin date of birth: december 23. age: 32

BIRTH AND EARLY YEARS:

Let’s set the scene --- it’s a cold December night, right before Christmas, and the Black mansion is shaken by blood curdling screams. It’s the kind that leaves you breathless, shivers running down your spine, leaving you with the sense that something is very, very wrong. Which, Druella Black fears that it very well might be ---- because her (expected) son is four weeks early. 

The birth process is excruciatingly long and difficult for poor, poor Druella, but when the clock strikes eleven on the night before Christmas, a girl comes crashing into the world. She’s not what they expect, nor what they want, and she never cries --- instead, she just watches them with those big black eyes that always seem to be appraising something.

-

Though Bellatrix’s birth was mostly an unwelcome surprise ( she came too early, and it was no secret that her parents had hoped for a boy ), she was also the first child to carry on the Black legacy, which was an honor. A necessity.

As a baby, she was small and meager. Nurses whispered about the Black baby that could barely muster a scream, that seemed so frail. Like she might break at any second. But that memory would soon fade and be replaced by a much more unpleasant one - because Bellatrix’s bones hardened, her skin thickened, her eyes grew meaner. Within a few years, any trace of that soft baby was gone, and instead, a cruel toddler took her place.

As a child, Bella was vicious. Biting, clawing, screaming and cursing were things she picked up fast, and she’d terrorize the other kids at the playground ( with an almost scary aim for her muggle born / half blood peers ). 

Once she reached the age of seven, she calmed down a bit, and instead started following her father around ( and was lovingly referred to as his ‘little shadow’ ). Eager to prove herself, she learned everything that a son of Cygnus would have learnt. She was determined to show her father that being a girl would not stop her from becoming worthy of the Black throne, to carry his name with pride. Over the years of her childhood and adolescence, Bellatrix forged herself into the golden girl, a respectable heir in the making. Desperate to wear the crown.

Under her father’s influence, uncontrollable rage was switched in for an eerie quietness, anger instead boiling right below the surface, just waiting to be unleashed. She was so eager to please, to sculpt herself into whatever he wanted, so she suppressed her emotions the best she could, even though it never felt natural. And so, the nurses whispered again, but this time, it was about her sweet, sweet smile, matched with those mean, mean eyes. ‘Doesn’t it look distorted? Like that damn Cheshire cat. Something’s not right about that girl, I’m telling you. She came out wrong’.

Behind closed doors, Cygnus also encouraged Bella’s darker side. Introduced her to the dark arts and the chaos that she would later come to love so desperately.

Most of her childhood was characterized by harsh words, strict rules and high expectations. Her family’s reputation weighed heavy on her shoulders, constantly pressuring her to excel. Luckily, she shared her parents’ ambition and values, and had no problems conforming to their rule. Which also meant that she could get away with much else. As long as she remained the golden girl, Bellatrix could run wild and free.

HOGWARTS YEARS:

Bellatrix had been duly prepped before arriving at Hogwarts. She was the first of their children to walk the halls, so it was important to both Druella and Cygnus that Bellatrix knew how to behave. Who to fraternize with. Who to avoid. Who was worthy of her time. Her parents had also made sure that she already had the appropriate friends — and play dates with other pureblood kids were a common occurrence when Bellatrix was younger.

At school, Bellatrix was popular ---- the resident cool girl. The type of girl that hardly ever objects to anything, because she is always down to have a good time. The type of girl that loves Quidditch, dirty jokes and cheap beer. The type of girl that hides her true colors, at least for a while. Until she explodes.

So Bella kept out of trouble, for the most part. There were a couple.... incidents, with muggleborns. One or two may have been turned into rats and toads ( under the guise of it being a joke --- can’t you take a joke, come on now? ). More serious things have been strictly forgotten by everyone involved. Powerful parents will do the trick. Mostly though, Bellatrix kept to her fellow Slytherins... biding her time. Waiting to strike.

She played for the Slytherin Quidditch team, as a beater, and was eventually made captain ( nothing less for a child of Cygnus, she must excel ). During her time on the team, she was notorious for her cruel playing style, her foul tricks, the constant smirk on her lips as other players fell to the ground. 

And during her sixth year, she was eventually recruited into the Death Eaters. And with them, she found a second home, quickly rising through the ranks. 

AFTER HOGWARTS:

After graduating from Hogwarts, Bellatrix took a year off from her studies. The official reason was that she needed to “find herself”. Whatever the fuck that meant. Obviously, it was a lie to hide what she was really up to. In reality, Bellatrix was at Voldemort’s side, learning leglilimency and occlumency, all the while developing her dark magic and her shitty personality.

Quickly became Voldemort’s personal attack dog, always willing to do his bidding, no questions asked.

At the age of nineteen, Bellatrix found work as an obliviator. Though the choice had ultimately been hers to make, the dark lord was always whispering in her ear, encouraging her to infiltrate the ministry. The goal was to have sleeper agents of death eaters in every department once it was time to go to war. It also helped that becoming an oblivator just made sense — fucking with the minds of muggles could already be counted as a hobby (albeit a twisted one), and she had always been good at taking things that didn’t belong to her… Memories would be no different.

Will occasionally throw pureblood galas, but isn’t too invested in them. They’re just for show, and she couldn’t care less.

Among the Death Eaters, Bellatrix is in the inner circle. She considers herself the dark lord’s right hand, and prides herself on being his most loyal servant.

Bellatrix also has a pet snake, lovingly named Medusa. 

Today, Bellatrix works as a senior obliviator at the ministry of magic. She handles a lot of paper work, but is also out in the field a lot.

PERSONALITY:

First of all - Bellatrix is a fucking shit show and we all know this.

She is like night and day ----- and her temper switches incredibly quickly, which makes her unpredictable, a little scary. She can go from the girl her family forced her to be - the Socialite, the Sophisticated Woman, the Cool Girl, to something far more sinister in the matter of minutes.

When she’s at her worst, Bellatrix is cruel, sadistic, self righteous, impulsive, angry as hell, deranged, unstable, manipulative, a little bit unhinged, ruthless, playful, childish and absolutely lethal. It’s always brewing right below, so close to the surface, just waiting to come out.

But she’s also calculating, clever, quick on her feet, intensely passionate, fiercely loyal (until she’s... not), adaptable, intuitive and assertive. 

Bella often contradicts herself — she has grown up believing that it’s best to be cold and devoid of emotions (#thanks dad), but she’s a highly emotional person by nature. She tries to suppress that as best as she can, but she usually boils over pretty fast. Other emotions are usually translated into anger as well, so that’s fun. I think the best way to describe her is that she’s just fire, always burning hot or cold.

Voldemort’s influence on her is also really important!! His influence poisons her mind, her soul, her heart. The darkness that was already there is amplified, becomes a thousand times worse. Though already a skilled witch, he introduced her to magic she could only have dreamed of --- and that power became corruptive, addictive. For power, Bella would gladly pay the steep price of sacrificing her soul, her humanity.

Bellatrix really does think that she is in the right. 

Also probably thinks that she’s better than everyone else at all times. There’s definitively an air of arrogance surrounding her.

Mrs Lestrange thinks that she’s invincible, and likes walking a little too close to the cliff’s edge ( playing with fire ). Will occasionally drop hints that she COULD be a death eater, but never goes too far with it. And if someone suggests that she is one, she acts like that’s absolutely outrageous. How dare you imply that I am affiliated with anything... !

Okay so, I am convinced that Bellatrix doesn’t reach peak evil + instability until after Voldemort’s fall and Azkaban, so I’m really trying to tone her down a bit and give the influence of her upbringing ( + her nature ) a bigger role in the person that she becomes. Hence why she is a little better at hiding her true colors, a little more refined. : ~ ) Though, she’s still the hammer ( doesn’t have the most finesse, mostly just likes getting things done, her technique isn’t exactly intricate, but ALWAYS effective ).

Even if most people probably don’t know that she’s a death eater ( though some probably suspect lbr ), she has a very intimidating presence. That’s her brand. And she still has that Weird Aura about her, like there is something that isn’t quite right, so that could also weird people out.

STYLE / FASHION / APPEARANCE:

Bellatrix has jet black eyes and the hair to match. It falls in soft curls over her shoulders, down her back. 

Usually wears dark red lipstick.

She hides her dark mark with a concealment spell while out in public.

Dresses mostly in black. Has to wear clothes that can fit into the muggle world while at work ( since she is often out in the field, interacting with muggles ). While there, she wears a well worn leather jacket ( with shoulder pads, in true 70s style ), and wide, black pants.

Files her nails into long claws, and paints them black.

Is tall. Likes towering over people.

AESTHETICS / VIBES:

black dresses, whispered hexes, broken champagne glasses, the calm before the storm, bullets caught between teeth, a constant paradox, skin stained black and blue, a devilish grin, ‘is that wine or blood on your carpet?’, snakes wrapped around wrists, mean eyes, always running hot and cold, a cheshire cat’s smile, soft laughter as the light leaves your eyes, divine violence, a taste of the approaching revolution / the new world order, quiet desperation, family heirlooms, unwavering loyalty, sudden fits of rage, emerald lockets, double lives, ‘would you still like me with my hands around your neck?’, no conscience, silent promises, taunting you with her very last breath, the hardest of hearts, dried blood on expensive clothes and a quiet conviction that this will all make sense in the end.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES:

amy dunne ( gone girl )

katherine pierce ( tvd )

jamie moriarty ( elementary )

glory / glorificus ( btvs )

villanelle ( killing eve )

jennifer blake ( teen wolf )

klaus mikaelson ( tvd )

kilgrave ( jessica jones )

lilith ( supernatural )

drusilla ( btvs ) 

cersei lannister ( got )

helena ( orphan black )

faith lehane ( btvs )

mazikeen ( lucifer )

FAVORITE CHARACTER TROPES:

SLASHER SMILE - a smile in anticipation of pain or death // a cheshire cat grin.

THE DRAGON - a monster the hero has to get past to get at the big bad. the top enforcer.

TORTURE TECHNICIAN -  takes the heroes and turn them into screaming, shinned shambles.

LADY MACBETH - frequently more crazy than her husband, quite the sociopath, in the business of turning men towards evil.

EVIL WEARS BLACK - duh.

DISSONANT SERENITY - someone smiling gently in the middle of death and carnage, seeming almost enlightened as they slit throats left and right.

THE BERSERKER - throws herself into battle with such reckless abandon, that it seems like she wants to die. never, ever retreats.

THE BARONESS - a female baddie with a chilly disposition and more than a touch of the dominatrix about her.

WICKED CULTURED - evil is intellectual // basically an evil aristocrat.

THE CHESSMASTER - thinking three moves ahead at all times. manipulating, planning, plotting.

DADDY’S LITTLE VILLAIN - shares dark father’s ambitions and cruelty.

BERSERK BUTTON - always ready to fucking snap.

SOFT SPOKEN SADIST - occasionally. a monster who might describe just how horribly she’s going to mangle you, while speaking in a voice that’s anything but monstrous.

DARK ACTION GIRL - likes beating the hero to a bloody pulp. good at it too.

AMBITION IS EVIL - has grand plans. ends justify the means, always.

[ladysophiebeckett]

Remington Steele mbti?

Okay so I’m not really an mbti specialist. I’m much more of a ‘guess ur sign’ kind of a person (not even a specialist at that) but I did try. and by ‘try’ i mean google and reading the 16 personality types, looking at the chart, and then assigning by whatever fits closest \ my gut instinct. 

For the purposes’s of this post, I only assigned Laura, Steele and Mildred. The mbti’s I assigned are my opinion and feel free to (politely) disagree. (but know that if you do, I really won’t mind bc in the end nothing is real and time is but a man made construct) 

Laura Holt-- ISTP (The Craftsman)

ISTPs are mysterious people who are usually very rational and logical, but also quite spontaneous and enthusiastic. They are often capable of humorously insightful observations about the world around them. Their personality traits are less easily recognizable than those of other types, and even people who know them well can’t always anticipate their reactions. Deep down, people with the ISTP personality type are spontaneous, unpredictable individuals, but they hide those traits from the outside world, often very successfully.

ISTPs are optimistic and generous, and they believe that fairness and equality are important. They have a strong drive to understand the way things work. They’re good at logical analysis, are action-oriented, and enjoy practical application. They are adaptable and usually have good technical skills. ISTPs have a compelling drive to understand the way things work. They’re good at logical analysis, and like to use it on practical concerns. They like to take things apart and see the way they work.

Common ISTP Traits: a high risk taker who loves variety and new experiences. highly practical, realistic and results oriented. Independent and determined. Focused on living in the present rather than the future. Ruled by the head, not the heart. More concerned with facts than protecting peoples feelings. 

Steele-- ENFJ (The Giver) 

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They are extroverted, idealistic, charismatic, outspoken, highly principled and ethical, and usually know how to connect with others no matter their background or personality. Mainly relying on intuition and feelings, they tend to live in their imagination rather than in the real world. Instead of focusing on living in the “now” and what is currently happening, the ENFJ personality type tends to concentrate on the abstract and what could possibly happen in the future.

ENFJs tend to be influential without even trying. Their influence stems from their authenticity and altruism, and people around them don’t question their motivations. ENFJs are loyal, reliable, and genuinely kind for no other reason than wanting something better for themselves and for others.

Common ENFJ Traits: Influential, loyal, reliable, genuinely kind. Passionate and firm in ideas and principles. Highly intuitive and reflective. Extremely organized with difficultly dealing with uncertainties. Open minded and highly accepting of others. Focuses on the future instead of the present. Trusts gut instinct. Motivated by appreciation and prefers to avoid arguments and conflicts. 

Mildred Krebs-- ESTJ (The Supervisor)

People with the ESTJ personality type are organized, honest, dedicated, dignified, traditional, and are great believers of doing what they believe is right and socially acceptable. Though the paths towards “good” and “right” are difficult, they are glad to take their place as the leaders of the pack. They are the epitome of good citizenry.

People look to ESTJs for guidance and counsel, and ESTJs are always happy that they are approached for help. ESTJs love being role models and organizing community events that bring groups and families together, especially if the occasion calls for upholding tradition and values.

Common ESTJ traits: Dignified, strong willed, principled. Extremely loyal to the group, whether it be family, community or country. Highly ethical, hardworking, dedicated and honest. Extremely organized and has difficulty dealing with uncertainties. Lives in the here and now. More concerned with facts than protecting people’s feelings. 

(yes, mildred is a rough combination of both laura and steele. it makes sense as she is sometimes a foil to them and a confidant.)

note: each personality type shown is linked to the page i read it from fyi

[aplpaca]

1, 19, 20

thanks for asking! (this ended up being hella long so thats why its kinda late)

1: Did you discover that you are autistic early or later in life? How do you think it affected you?i had an “unofficial” diagnosis when i was like 4 (unofficial bc i was “on the spectrum but didnt meet all the criteria for an official diagnosis” aka i could talk and wasnt a boy) but because it was unofficial there wasnt really anything that could be done with it, so it wasnt considered significant and i didnt think much of it.    

i didnt actually “figure it out” till towards the end of high school, and what really made me consider it was how much i related to posts by autistic people talking about traits and experiences.  and it was super “freeing” i guess cause it was like realizing that id been viewing myself wrong for most of my life? that my difficulties werent because i hadnt “nurtured” them the right way and my interests and talents werent some warped form of compensation.  like a mental shift from “im a defective version of other people” to “im a perfectly decent version of myself”. 

kinda like if youd been taking care of a “weird bush”, getting confused that it was different from the other ones, and then realized the bush was actually a cactus.  but now that you know, you can figure out how to grow a healthy cactus instead of overwatering it in the hopes it will look like a bush   

19: What, in your opinion, is the most ridiculous autism myth or stereotype?theres a lot of those but the stereotype of autism being a young white boy thing is definitely up there in terms of perpetuating inequalities like afab people and poc are diagnosed less frequently and misdiagnosed a lot more, especially when theyre not kids anymoreless institutional for this one, but a lot of non-autistic people act like theyre able to intuitively tell if someone is or isnt autistic? when their knowledge is based on one autistic person they know of, or a mix of pop culture and maybe an intro to psych class.  like “*person* cant be autistic they do *thing that isnt mutually exclusive to being autistic*” or “are you sure youre autistic cause youre not like my younger brother”  

20: How would you describe autism to someone who knows nothing about it?im not exactly sure how to answer this concisely and still give some actual background on being autistic but heres some traits (under the read-more since this is pretty long already)

social interactions

casual conversation comes a lot less naturally for you than for others (like for me it feels kinda like trying to do a card trade when youre deck is out of order or when youre taking too long trying to find the right amount of money to give the cashier)

even if youre pretty sarcastic yourself, you might have trouble recognizing when other people are doing it (maybe responding to them as if they were serious, then realizing it was sarcasm afterwards)

difficulty with timing in conversations - accidentally interrupting a lot or not knowing when to start talking in groups

takes a lot longer for you to make friends than most people, even when actively trying

might have difficulty telling peoples feelings from their facial expressions or tone of voice, may accidentally overstep boundaries as a result

language/expression differences

speaking might not come naturally as a form of expression, might be more comfortable writing or using another method, especially on more personal topics

might be more or less facially expressive than most people (”resting bitch face” or finding it really hard to hide emotions)

might go nonverbal at times (or all the time) - talking feels physically difficult and takes more energy than usual, can happen with stress or just randomly

sensory stuff

hypo or hypersensitivities - more bothered by loud noise or bright light than others, being a lot more sensitive to fabric and clothing, needing certain levels of noise to be comfortable, “picky” eating (especially related to texture), sitting normally in chairs is uncomfortable, more or less reactive to certain smells

stimming because it feels nice, helps focus, relieves stress - fidgeting, Need To Move, leg bouncing, rocking, repeating phrases/noises because they sound/feel nice, hair twirling, feeling certain textures, pressure (heavy blankets, tight clothing, etc),

sensory overload when overstimulated (often in loud/bright/crowded/etc areas), may have trouble processing all information at once, get irritated by small sounds, may get dizzy, can trigger anxiety, restless energy, trouble focusing, places others are fine with may feel very chaotic to you (eg: a mall or supermarket), symptoms lessen when away from situation

various other things

special interests - if you like something you really like it no middle ground (”obsessed or nothing”), avidly pursue more info/content relating to it, feel an intense need to talk about these interests with others, could spend hours a day on these interests without getting bored  

executive dysfunction - procrastination, difficulty planning ahead, trouble with time management, distracted easily, trouble staying on task, difficulty multi-tasking, having trouble making yourself do something even when you want to get it done

unexpected events or changes in routine (even small things and even if your schedule is not busy) are stressful, might cause you to freeze up,  can take a long time to get used to

auditory processing difficulties - “sorry can you repeat that”, comprehending what someone said when theyre halfway through repeating it, following verbal instructions is hella confusing (“i know what those words mean and i know what that sentence means but i have no clue what im supposed to be doing”)

detail oriented - needing to know specific details and reasons behind things to remember them better, noticing lots of things others dont

good at coming up with unique ideas, different thinking approach leads you to problem-solve in ways others might not

i could write more but ima stop now, i think ive prob info-dumped enough

[dumbthingsthat]

Re-read a great deal of my vents on here and boy oh boy that rds for alot of those definite con posts is just verrrry poignant. Like it was every con in the last 3 yrs pre-pandemic I had this shitty feeling about how my friends were treating me (and not to really excuse them bc they do exclude ppl from stuff or don't make an effort to connect to others outside of their close knit group?) But never really noticed just how that shook my already shitty mental health 😬 (sidenote it's not better I'm just more aware of it and why I feel very hostile towards them or come across as passive whenever there's anything new happening in the friend group...so it's good to be aware so I can figure out my actual issue with the situation)

Anyways with another year of limited job opportunities, and interactions, it has me nostalgic for things that made me feel less lonely or awkward. It's totally hard to ignore how stunted you feel when you see others around you figuring stuff out. I'm on okc to like look but not have any interest in talking with anybody bc my mind is so very much convinced it won't be anything like my 1st relationship where I could be myself around them and my interests and their interests were literally the same to an extent so connecting wasn't difficult. I never really got my closure and I don't think contacting them now will get me that. 1 bc I'm afraid if that they've made progress in the m.h stuff me texting them will ruin that? 2 if they don't respond that'll mean they've totally moved on and have no reason to say anything and it'll paint me as a desperate person who can't let go of something 3yrs ago that lasted for like 9months?

It's defs bc I'm lonely, and I miss having a good friend who constantly put in the effort to just say hi? Someone who you could just be around quietly and it just was nice. It's real easy to make it out to be perfect bc there's nothing to compare it to and to watch others around you literally have that...it fucking sucks. I also hate feeling like bc I'm thinking this way that they're thinking this way too and we're creating reasons to not say anything to eachother. We were both scared to say anything that might've ruined our friendship before we dated (that's why it took a year to ask them out bc we were good friends before) so yeaaah my brain feels like that's why we don't talk anymore

Not the obvious one that, like a healthy person-->they moved on bc that was what was best for them and I should do the same! Unfortunately my brain is still wonky and 3yrs is long but trauma, an untreated neurodivergency, and still living at home can only give me so much to expect as for growth

I'm intuitive as hell, and it's freaky to the point where I'd say like if I have a gut feeling about something, I'm usually 90% right....which is why I can't let go of the thought of contacting them

(And mmmboy the fact I know that their pronouns are different is a dead giveaway that I haven't completely stayed away...well I creeped once on their blog about 2ish months ago??? BUT STILL)

Idk mannnnn being very aware that something is a bad idea but you still wanna do it is weird. I hate self awareness and hyperfixation working against eachother like this

[baddyxangel]

i feel like stiles isn’t appreciated enough throughout the show. like when he was trying to help scott with his first transition scott kept bowling him off and then would come back wanting his help, or when he had to be the one to give scott and allison’s messages and run across the school all day. especially with the beastiary where no one even lydia didn’t believe him that it was a real thing, or with matt where he thought it was him and no one gave him a second thought about his suspicions. in season 5 where if anyone gave him a chance on his suspicions on theo they wouldn’t have gone through a lot of that. also why did scott changes sides so fast when theo told him about donovan. scott is supposed to to be the best friend of stiles and he didn’t even try to talk to stiles before taking theos side.

I think in general it’s implied that Scott is just over trusting and that Stiles is under trusting. I think of the scene where Scott says “you don’t trust anyone!!!” and Stiles replies “yeah because you trust everyone!!”. Scott immediately accepts Theo into the pack, and Theo seems to know Stiles is too difficult to convince, so he instead works on getting everyone else to like him and kicking Stiles out of the pack instead of trying to get him to like him. Less work. i think you've got it. at this point, stiles is suspicious of anyting unusual and suspects everything is evil. He's usually right. Yeah, I never thought about that it just seems so clear now 😂

Stiles simply doesn’t trust anyone. And he has an excellent detector for bad guys (remember Matt?). He says he remembers Theo and ‘that’s not Theo’ which is a great plot thread they never followed up on. So it could be that it’s actually not Theo. Of that he’s so changed that he’s fundamentally changed. And no. I don’t care for Theo. He’s a classic narcissistic sociopath with a surface charm and not nearly as smart as he thinks. He is pretty though. Remember when Theo went home to his fake parents and threatened to break their fingers with a hammer if they didn't practice their fake signatures more? Boy, sure would have been nice if they ever properly explained that. Or even just showed us those two people ever again lol, what the fuck even happened to them? Theo probably killed them while practicing his villain 101 monologue.

I think Stiles has pretty good intuition, and can just tell if someone has evil intentions...like they give a vibe you don't feel good about, Matt being an example However because he's awkward and clumsy with words, he can't really put it into words why he has these feelings and his reasoning will thus sound ridiculous...Again Matt being an example

Stiles has great intuition and is usually right about those things. I can't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure he even suspected a teacher could be involved when the sacrifices were happening. Plus he realized he was being possessed by the nagitsune way before anyone else did, but no one listened. 

I would have like a scene towards the end of the series where Stiles says 'Man that guy looks sus' and the pack just attack the dude because Stiles is always right about those things.

Stiles is an excellent detective. He is able to detect which person is evil very easily, remember in Season 2 how he thought the Kanima's Master was Matt? Exactly. Stiles also says that he remembers Theo quite well, and that the Theo we know isn't the Theo he remembers. That plot line was, unfortunately, never expanded on so we don't really know if it was Theo or not. Scott seems to trust people right of the bat. Stiles doesn't. That is another reason. Theo was a mastermind villain and one of the smartest in the whole show. He was able to break Scott and Stiles' friendship whilst tricking everyone else within the Pack. He nearly took Sebastian's powers. He was a great villain, but a very bad character. He doesn't deserve the come back he had in Seaon 6a and B. He killed Scott for crying out loud.

There were also the early plot hints that Stiles was in some way 'magic' (which again were never followed up on). He certainly had spot-on assessments of the majority of the bad guys ( there's a lovely little moment after the birds invade the classroom in S3 where he leans over to pick a feather out of Ms Blake's hair and she actually flinches away). Also remember Stiles was always convinced that Lydia was not the Kanima (he joked about it but he knew it wasn't her). He also subconsciously knew he had been possessed before the Nogitsune even showed itself. It all just makes Scott's lack of trust in him all the more baffling, and it especially pisses me off when he calls Stiles on it in Season 5 (I've giving a lot of benefit to a lot of people) because actually Stiles was right every time. That scene broke my heart, especially bc Scott trusted Theo (who jumped out of nowhere) and not his lifetime best friend, like how?! but yeah I think Stiles was always right when It comes to trust people And Liam, who has been Scott's beta for like 5 minutes, totally trusted Stiles judgement (I love when they meet Theo in the woods in the same episode and Liam stands in front of Stiles to protect him).

stiles automatically didn’t trust him because of what he remembers of him before, he also doesn’t really trust a lot of people because scott trusts everyone and someone can’t just auto trust everyone too. stiles is there to like make sure that nothing really bad happens. stiles also looked at his dads handwriting and it was different and there is a clip of theo hitting his “dad’s” hand as punishment since it’s not the same.

Because Stiles is extremely perceptive and empathetic and understands a lot of unspoken things that are communicated through body language and motives (unlike Scott, who has no clue on what’s going on most of the time and is incapable of reading other people’s emotions, heartbeats, and chemosignals despite being a werewolf with supernatural senses.) Also, as Peter and Theo have pointed out, Stiles is “the clever one”, “smarter than everyone else” and “smart enough not to trust me [Theo]” I don’t think Scott fell for Theo’s bullshit so easily because he trusts everyone though. It’s more that Scott trusts others only when there’s something in it for him or if it’s convenient. He’s more worried about the possibility of Theo, or Liam (or another supernatural creature) stealing his true alpha status than about the fact that a stranger he knew next to nothing about could hurt his friends, and he only considered Theo an enemy after he tried to kill Scott and steal Stiles and his pack away from him. Never before. And that’s because, at that point, Theo becomes a direct threat to him. Stiles has warned Scott about Theo multiple times, but Scott brushed Stiles’ concerns off and chose to ignore every single proof of Theo’s shady behavior – Theo’s FAKE parents’ FAKE signature, Theo’s heartbeat/chemosignals, Theo creeping in his girlfriend’s bedroom to record her sleeping without her consent, etc. But Scott didn’t care, because up until that point Theo’s actions didn’t affect him directly. I kinda feel like In the end, Scott didn't care about any of the villains unless it was directly effecting him lol Also I think Scott was a bit naive, all the things he had done were successful bc he worked with the others otherwise I don't know how things would have turned out (just to mention when he bites Liam and had to kidnap him bc he panicked lol)

[vanaera]

Aera, hi! first of all let me tell you that looking forward to My time. and like, How are you? i read that uni is giving u a hard time, is everything good? i hope so. You asked me about what i think of HHA MBTI and let me tell you what happened hehe. I already had an idea and usually i take a guess based on the vibe lol. But, i really wanted to give a legit answer. So I spent the past few days restudying the theory intensely and rereading HHA which is funny because at the end what happened..1

was that i complicated things cuz I wanted to get the most accurate answer, until i convinced myself to just say what i think of lol. So, I haven't done this before and i hope to improve my analysis skills in the future but i wish my analysis will at least entertain you :D lets start with y/n since she came "clearer" to me. Initially, I thought that she gives a ESTJ/ENTJ vibes. What I'm so sure of is that she definitely has the (Te) function either as a dominant or auxiliary function...2 

Which gave me 4 choices, ESTJ, ISTJ, ENTJ, INTJ. In short, what made me think y/n have Te function aka extroverted thinking, is that it's about conveying thoughts using reason and logic while being unmoved by emotional appeals. Te loves to organize and structure and achieving goals oriented. Extroverted thinkers are assertive, direct, objective, have well researched arguments and would like to convince others of their thoughts. we can see all of that in y/n right? I would've loved to explain..3 

Let me tell you first that i decided that y/n is probably an ENTJ. I would've love to tell (in details, why) but knowing myself it's gonna be so long and messy. So, I'm just gonna explain (Why) lol. let me tell u one of the reasons why I eliminated ESTJ. This type generally when making decisions, they'll make it considering what's important at the moment while ENTJ will consider what's important in the long run. I don't know but y/n strikes me as a big picture person...4 

ESTJs have (Si introverted sensing) as their second function which is a one that's concerned with long term memory, organizing, duty, traditions, routine and learning through past experiences (not experimental). Honestly, this one caused me a lot of confusion of weather y/n is estj or entj. because, for entj, because of the absent of Si in their function set they tend to forget who they were in the past and because they're so focused on the future. while i view y/n as the big picture person...5 

I don't view her as the one to be disconnected from her past self. BUT, i don't know if she is Si user, she doesn't strike me as person that values traditions and routine so much. (I'd like to ask you more about this) what made me also think she's ENTJ is because of the other functions in the set (Te, Ni, Se, Fi) we talked about Te, Ni users (introverted intuition) often described as people with vision of what they want to bring to life. Se-extroverted sensing-is about learning through senses..6 

Se function is about learning through senses so people with this function in their dominant will be eager to experience all kind of stuff in life. In ENTJ case however, this function comes third indicating it's underdeveloped, but it's there, so it'll appear more later in life while entj is still growing up and experiencing more. my clue to find this function in y/n was the Bar scene:D. I think i'm gonna stop here with y/n cuz we still have Yoongi. but i wanna say that i spent one more day.. 

Thinking weather y/n is an ENTJ or INTJ.. I had clues in the story for both and since I'm not skilled/knowledgeable enough my head got messed up lol. So i decided to go with my gut feeling and the first choice that occurred to me which is ENTJ =) So, yeah. That's it -kinda- for our dear y/n. and now, for our yoongi, honestly i was a bit lost lol. He has a vibe, correct, but to several types based on my understanding of them lol So here's how it went....I forgot the number i stopped on*face palm*

perceiving functions (Sensing, intuition) tells you how do you perceive reality, while Judging functions (Feeling/ thinking) is how do you interact with the world and take action based on what you learned. So, if you're a judging type with J in the last it means that the "first extroverted" function in your set is either F/T 

Thinking or feeling. it is "the first extroverted function" because that either can be the dominant function or the second one and it's "extroverted" because that's what the others see from you. Okay I'm getting sidetracked here. what i want to say is that if someone is a P type, it means that his/her first extroverted function that orients them in the world is either Ne/Se which aren't about taking action, but gathering information. That's why P people appear as laid back while J people as.. more of an action takers. Okay, yoongi strikes me as a p type. So, the 8 types that ends with J are eliminated. what remains are ENFP, INFP, ESTP, ISTP, ENTP, INTP, ESFP, ISFP. right off the bat esfp, estp, entp, enfp are eliminated. I have a decent understanding of these types and i can tell yoongi isn't one of them. at least based on what i know. also, when i look at the functions, he's neither intp nor istp, so what remains are ISFP & INFP and i believe he's an ISFP... Also, i'd like to say that my elimination of the previous types was also based on what i read in HHT. Anyway, ISFP have (Fi, Se, Ni, Te) while INFP (Fi, Ne, Si, Te) quite close right?.. what made me decide immediately he's an isfp in the beginning is because of the "Se". the scene in particular that led me to it is when he was describing the prom. he seemed to take things through his senses. and somewhere in the story he said "I like learning the actual stuff in real time" which seems to me Se. Fi, introverted feeling is concerned with values, individualism, seeks inner harmony and strong sense of self, it is "what's important". yoongi appears to me to be all that. Also, for hi, being an isfp, in the general description of ISFP type, it quite describes yoongi. They're quite mysterious, can be difficult to get to know on the deep level. listeners, emotional individuals, sensitive, warm. What sets infp from isfp for me, is that infp appears to be more concerned with world problems.. may be more developed especially yoongi since i view him as pretty much matured and more in tune with himself. and yeah i studied the persona theory. psychology is pretty much an interesting field, and i love the way i see its impact in your stories. one of the reason why your stories are special to me. and of course i would notice what i noticed. there's more and i feel like i could talk to you about it all day lol. This ask box is too small :p.. anyway, stay safe and healthy! and good luck! 3>

Oh my god, Aseel, you did a very in-depth MBTI analysis of The Heart Holiday!Yoongi and OC! This freaking shook me up 🤯😲. I don't know much about doing MBTI analysis. I just effing answer quizzes bc I love answering personality quizzes asdfghjkl. So thank you for this quick crash course about this! I love it and omygod I learned so much from you!! 😆😍😚 I had to google more about the MBTI functions bc of this! (sorry I'm not that much of a smart bean yet)

First off, your analysis of THH!OC and Yoongi are so good! You hit Yoongi on point being an ISFP! He's laidback, a good listener, and has a strong sense of his self! He can be mistaken as an extrovert bc of how well he does with people, too. You're also right about THH!OC having NTJ as her dominant functions! However, I think she's more of an introvert than an extrovert! Hinted by the fact her only friend in the office before the whole arrangement with Yoongz was Mina and that OC is very awkward in dealing with other people (the scene with Yoona, Jeff, and Seojoon while she waits for Yoongi to finish work and the lunch scene with the 3 goofballs). And to answer your q, THH!OC values traditions! With the way she's appalled by Yoongi's "makeup" date with her at a streetfood stand, to the fact Y/N is a hell of a conformist (she's The valedictorian of their HS and A cum laude in uni **me lowkey be like "Y/N, teach me your ways"**). But anyway, you still manage to get INTJ for this baby and omg you're so good!!!

I've never really put much thought in my character's MBTI types bc I just practically sprinkle a bit of my characteristics, desires, fears, and insecurities among them. I'm an INFJ, myself, and I couldn't believe some parts of myself could make ISFP and INTJ characters! What I only do know as when I was writing THH, I was inspired to make a story of two fumbling introverts. I usually come across romance stories with characters who are polar opposites of each other. Although there's nothing wrong with that (and omg I have a vERY weak, WEAK spot for this dynamic), I wondered what would it be like if I wrote about two introverts with so much similarities yet also a lot of differences with each other? So boom trulala, The Heart Holiday was born. Jk, there's actually more factors that led me into writing THH than just that, I think I'll go over them next time bc that is gonna be another massive text post.

Anyway, to have my stories be special to you...is an HONOR, ma'am 🥺. When I started writing here, I didn't expect anyone will actually read the things I write, much less let them occupy some place in their hearts. So having you impressed, much less touched, by my stories is a dream come true, hon 🥺. You're right, this ask box is too small bc I want to give you a massive thank you message much grander than this and I don't think tumblr's ask box can hold it (and also bc I wanna hug you, but bc we're kinda timezones apart, here's a virtual hug instead 🤗💗). Thank you for all the love and support, Aseel. Even if I don't think I deserve them, your words help me believe that I can 💕💞