#being mauled or knifed just isn't the same

[roksik-dnd]

UPD: I got the rest of the dev notes out!

Good news everyone! According to the dev notes, Abdirak’s sexiness to creepiness ratio is 6 to 3!

Father Abdirak is a follower of Loviatar, a goddess that thrives on inflicting pain on others. He is indulging in some private 'worship' (self flagellation). He offers to help alleviate the player's pain by giving them 'penance' - i.e, beating them. Loviatar = loh-VEE-a-tar. He is a young and charismatic preacher with a threatening edge.

Abdirak: Greetings, child. I've met few aside from goblins here.

He has paused in beating himself to stand and greet the player.

Player is one of the few non-goblins he’s met in this place. Welcomes another for conversation and discussion but there should be something vaguely threatening about him. Charismatic, sexy, and creepy all in one.

Abdirak: Ah, are you also here to assist with the prisoner?

Player: You mean the one they are torturing?

Abdirak: Please. The things they are doing to that man... so crude and primitive.

Distates. Like an expert in wine being present with a bottle from Tesco. He loves pain, he just has an issue with the lack of artistery.

Abdirak: I was invited to to teach them. I live for pain and its intricacies, you see, but alas...

Discusses eyes light up at the mention of pain but discussing it in an academic sense

Abdirak: Pain without purpose is a terrible thing, wouldn't you agree?

No horror in his voice. Discussing it like an intellectual pursuit. It is not the violence he takes issue with, it is the fact that they do it simply for fun.

Player: It's appalling.

Abdirak: Exactly, pain is an intimate thing. It should be delivered with a loving and measured hand.

Eyes light up as he discusses pain and his approach to it. This is clearly something he is passionate about and believes in.

Abdirak: But trying to discuss such subtleties with these creatures is simply...

Slightly irritated, the goblins have fobbed him off and he’s been left to his own painful devices.

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Player: Then why are you beating yourself?

Abdirak: Hah. I realise this looks strange, but I assure you, it is a most intimate form of worship.

The player has pointed out that he is beating himself bloody. He smiles, his eyes lighting up as he begins to explain. He believes in what he is doing.

Abdirak: You see, pain is a loving thing. But trying to explain it to these goblins has proven...

Passionate and enthusiastic as he explains. Pain and its infliction is his pride and joy.

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Player: I thought a follower of Loviatar would approve of pain.

Abdirak: You know the Maiden of Pain? How refreshing. But there is more to us than that.

Eyes light up as he discusses pain. Considers pain and its intimacies a form of therapy and even art, but he knows that not everyone will feel that way about Pain, or his Goddess, Loviatar.

Abdirak: Yes, we worship her through pain - often our own. But it is an intimate and loving thing and one we offer up.

Abdirak: If you would permit it, I can show you first-hand.

He is offering to beat the player with a weapon of choice, This is a sincere and genuine offer, He believes in what he is doing and that it will, ultimately, help the player.

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Player: What's a follower of the Maiden of Pain doing here?

Abdirak: Ah, you are familiar with the Scourge Mistress? Good. I am simply spreading her message, friend.

A smile. The player has realised that he worships an evil goddess. He knows he is likely not going to win this argument on the merits of pain and torture, but he is sincere as he explain how he worships his goddess.

Abdirak: I worship her through pain - usually my own. But I have a skilled hand when it comes to its infliction.

Abdirak: Care to expand your horizons? It will be worth it - you have my word.

A smile as he offers to, basically, beat the player. It is a sincere and genuine offer, he believes it will help.

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Player: Who invited you? A goblin?

Abdirak: Yes. One who claims to be a master of pain. Tch.

Player has asked who invited him here. It was a goblin who is torturing someone next door. His tone is dismissive. He believes the goblin doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Abdirak: Pain is intimate and loving. But trying to discuss that with these creatures…

Irritated in the opening line, but then his eyes light up and he smiles as he discusses PAIN. It is his life’s passion and something he is enthusiastic about.

Abdirak: Forgive me, but that look in your eyes - something terrible has happened to you.

He’s looking the player in the eyes and is concerned - he can see the player has been hurt (emotionally) and is worried. This is sincere.

Player: That’s none of your concern.

Abdirak: Do not be ashamed, child. What I see in your eyes, in your soul, is only natural.

Player has told him to bugger off, basically. Abdirak assumes the player is embarassed, he is sincere - he has seen pain in the player’s eyes and wishes to comfort him.

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Player: Clever man. How did you know?

Abdirak: Because I see those same eyes when I look in the mirror, dear one.

Player has asked how he knew something terrible had happened them. Abdirak sadly replies. He is think of his own traumatic past, which ultimately led him to turn to Loviatar as a way coping with the trauma.

Abdirak: We've all suffered in these dark times. It is little wonder you bear scars of pain and anguish.

He is trying to comfort and connect with the player.

Abdirak: Please let me alleviate this pain.

hesitates on the word ‘alleiviate’. He believes that the beating he is about to offer will genuinely help. Sincere. Said with a smile.

Player: And how would you do that?

Abdirak: As the Maiden of Pain, the goddess Loviatar, teaches us...

Player has asked about the ‘penance’ Abdirak has suggested. Explaining about his goddes Loviatar. Sincere. Believes pain is a beautiful thing. Voice more sexy than creepy.

Abdirak: ...through penance - administered by my skilled hand.devnote

Abdirak: My work can grant peace and serenity - the likes of which few experience. It will be worth it - I promise.

He gestures to the table, where a selection of weapons lays ready. The priest should look very sincere in this scene. He genuinely thinks he’s helping you.

Player: Touch me and you'll lose your hand.

Abdirak: Is that a promise?

Player has threatened him with physical violence. He is delighted. Almost winks as he says this.

Abdirak: A pity though. You would know such sweet relief at my hands.

sighs at the player’s rejections. Sounds charismatic and sensual as he thinks of the beating he would have inflicted on the player.

Abdirak: Now, if you'll excuse me, I should return to my own worship.

plans to return to self flagellation. Looking forward to it.

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Player: I've no interest in the teachings of such an evil goddess.

Abdirak: Pain is pain, dear one. It is above 'good' and 'evil'. devnote

Player has told him that his goddess is evil and that he wants to part in this practice. His argument about pain is sincere, he sees it as neither good nor evil, simply as proof that we are alive - and that is worth worshipping and experiencing.

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Player: No - Shar has already claimed me.

Abdirak: A shame - the Mistress of the Night and the Maiden of Pain could have such fun together.

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Player: All right, why not?

Abdirak: Oh, I have something exquisite in mind.

Player has agreed to the beating/penance. Excited. Sexually charged. Already imaging the pain he is about to inflict.

Abdirak: But wait - you are hurt. Please tend to your wounds before we begin your penance.

Player has agreed to do penance but their health is too low. The priest is warning that they must heal first. Genuine and sincere, he doesn’t want to hurt them.

Abdirak: I prefer a fresh canvas.

A smile as he says this - vaguely sexual overtones.

Abdirak: Dear child, I told you - take care of those wounds, and we will begin your penance.

Player has tried to come to him for penance but is still wounded. Tone gently chiding, as if speaking to a child.

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Abdirak: Both Loviatar and I are interested in how you handle pain, dear one.

Abdirak: And should you delight her, you will most assuredly receive her gracious blessing - trust me.

Abdirak: Simply face the wall, and we can begin.

Gestures to the wall.

Authorative tone but also a warning. He wants to hurt the player but not badly, and not outside of his realm of control. Safety first!

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Abdirak: Dear child, tell me: would you like to continue your worship of Loviatar, Maiden of Pain?

Player started the penance and then cancelled it. Voice low, sexual as he invites them to finish what they started together.

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Abdirak: Sweet child. While I enjoyed that, I'm afraid your reaction was... lacking.

Voice low and intimate. Player did penance but did not react correctly. He regrets that the player does not get a reward (but he had a great time, which is all he really cares abotu)

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Abdirak: Sweet child, you bore the pain like a true believer.

Penance is finished. He’s a little breathless after beating the player near senseless. Voice is low and intimate.

Abdirak: I could feel Loviatar's pleasure with every sting of my scourge.

Abdirak: I am proud to have served you this penance.

Got his breath back a little. Voice is low and intimate.

Player: I asked you for mercy!

Abdirak: I know, dear one. That was my favourite part.

Player has told him that they had begged for mercy during the penance. Smile on Abdirak’s face as he recalls that moment.

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Player: It was an... interesting experience.

Abdirak: Interesting is an understatement, dear one.

voice low and intimate, as if speaking to a lover.

Abdirak: Loviatar herself found your performance... inspiring. She has deemed you worthy of her blessing.

Voice intimate and filled with admiration. His goddess has chosen to bless the player - a sacred gift.

This can be anything - for reaching a hand out and gently passing it over the player to holding both hands out and closing his eyes in concentration as he passes on the blessing. As long as it is something that indicates that a spell/blessing is happening, it can be anything.

Abdirak: And on a personal note, thank you. That was positively divine.

This is a low, sultry. Almost whispered in the player’s ear. Sexy and intimate. But also creepy as all hell.

This is from the datamined dialogue.

[amusingmusie]

More questions about Evie? Ask and you shall receive!

Al and baby Evie. What would that look like? Does he dote on the baby, leave her to Nel, try (and fail) support the demon spawn he brought into the world? Basically, would he be a good father, and does he carry the burden equally?

Honestly, I think Nel would make a pretty great mom seeing as she basically raised Grace from birth, and Grace turned out fine! Nel does seem to have a nasty habit of raising agents of chaos, though. Maybe it wasn't actually Al's fault 🤔

Presuming, once again, that Al was alive for this, does he keep up with his habits? Does being responsible for a child who might cry a lot at night put him at a higher risk of being caught missing, and cut down on the murder time? Or who knows, maybe morals kicked in, and the thought of being caught and leaving Nel alone with a kid was a line not even he would cross (he's a murderer, not a monster).

And what was baby Evie like!!! Quiet baby? Loud baby? A nightmare in private, but an angel in public? She seems like the type to need constant attention.

There have also been a lot of hints that Evie is Violent. Did Nel do a good job instilling fear of the law into her? Or did Evie inherit her father's "hobbies," too?

What about his powers? Is there anything inherent about them that Evie might get? Or would she have needed Al's guidance in order to use her abilities. And if Al was alive, would he have taught her?

Does she have actual friends? I know that Nel is a loner and Al doesn't really care if his "friends" lived or died, but does Evie have any genuine human connection - outside of her arch nemesis ofc (don't tell her I said that). Like a bitch pack or a best friend who roam the school tormenting everyone they meet. Just as a treat.

Also, Roxy: what's her story? Is she a young Nel with a new look and (hopefully) no nicotine addiction? Does she get to have friends?

Let me know if I should break these asks up more in the future to avoid the wall-of-text problem! Once again, don’t feel pressured to answer any of the questions if you don’t want to or if it’s spoiler territory. Take care of yourself! Don't get lost or stolen!!!

YIPPEEEE!!! For pride month I am answering a yummy ask about one of my favorite evil lesbians.

In the little thought-world-brainrot-center I've created for Evie, Alastor isn't exactly around to know about her let alone interact with her. If he WAS around, I mean, he'd try his best to make sure the kid doesn't hurt herself since she is an extension of himself and he appreciates that, but I don't see him being the best dad. Emotional comfort? He doesn't do that. Teaching her to dissect things? Now that he can do!

I actually jokingly refer to an alt timeline in which Nel gets pregnant as "the good ending" because it's the only thing that would stop Alastor's charitable side hobbies in their tracks. Not because he has a change of heart- he just literally cannot find the time for it, and he knows Nel would cave his skull in if she caught him. He'd maybe try sneaking out one (one) night and then the ginger sits up in bed from a dead sleep and just says "fuck. no."...he gets right back in and doesn't sneak out again until Evie is older.

Evie was a pretty good baby! She didn't become an odd little cretin til she could walk, because then baby girl decided she wanted to play in the knife drawer.

She is violent in a way, but she actually takes more after Nel's brand than Alastor's. As weird as she is, and as sweetly as she threatens people, she doesn't resort to violence unless you've fucked with her or someone she cares about. It's that same sort of momma bear mauling-style that Nel has combined with Alastor's lack of remorse/excitement. It's not like she's killed anyone though, or even seriously maimed anyone. She has the capability, but not the urge. I know I jokingly call her an evil lesbian, but she's not actually evil. Just a menace.

I actually have always played around with the idea of Miss Genevieve being very spiritually attuned! I know that the supernatural takes a backseat role in my fic (for now anyway, that'll fucking change soon enough) so for Evie's story, I wanted it to play a much larger role. She's the kind of kid to look at someone and go "March 15th, 1933" and then skip away like it's nothing. Nel got used to it really, really fast. There's more than just her and Evie living in their house, after all. If Al was around, I don't know if he could have helped? I write him as someone who is aware but perhaps not the most integrated into the paranormal world (while alive). He'd definitely find it funny that Evie is though.

Evie has friends, but not close friends. Her story is hard to explain without spoiling my fic so all I can say is that she isn't a loner, but is incredibly lonely at times. Most of her relationships are shallow since she doesn't let others in. While her weird, chaotic nature isn't a front at all, she does rely on it to keep others at arms length if they get too close. She's incredibly popular with people she doesn't know well to the point that she has sort of created a little clique for herself. They don't really see beyond what she shows them. For those she's "closer" to who see her oddities, she uses those oddities and back-handed comments to keep them from getting close. Only Nel and Grace (and eventually Roxxy) are let in.

Roxy my beloved. She's much more than just another Nelly; she actually leans a little opposite to Nel, she's a slacker and usually gets in trouble pretty constantly. She's got a lot of anger from family expectations but she reacted to those expectations completely differently than Miss Penelope did. Roxxy actually has more close friends than Evie. Nobody would really see it unless they saw how fake Evie is with people (Husk would have a field day with that girl).

Thank youuuu for all the questions and I'm sorry it took me a while to answer them!

[useless-moss]

Fuck it, borderline oc x canon with Nels and Viggo.

Also, pspsps @violet-moonstone, @evilwriter37, and @reallyprofoundkryptonite

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The boy is... Unique. Viggo had learned that early on. Hel, it's obvious from the moment you first meet him. The thick, furred cloak and the deer skull that has been fashioned into a mask give an air of mystery. The gems and amber hanging from clean white antlers by strings clink against each other with each movement, creating a chiming sound that Viggo finds himself getting distracted by often. The dragon scale tunic Nels wears displays skill and strength. The double bladed axe connected to the holster on his belt and the curved dagger kept in the satchel strapped to his thigh, and the expert way he wields them both, show ferocity and a survivors mentality.

Viggo still remembers the first time they'd officially met. The boy whose name more or less means 'chief' and 'he who understands the ways of the dragon', clad in mystery and an aura of danger, had offered a deal. A partnership. An alliance. "Leave myself and my pack alone, and I'll help you out where I can." That had been the gist, though the unsaid "I've no problem killing you right here and now if you refuse" combined with the large female night fury hammered home what the boy wanted Viggo to know. That the hunter didn't really have a choice. He either left the exchange with a new acquaintance, or he'd end up dead before his hunters could even react.

Maybe it's because Nels reminds him of Hiccup that he agreed. Maybe it's the mystery surrounding this boy who's lived in the wild, surviving with a pack of night furies that had taken him in as a young boy. Maybe it's the way he coos and clicks and growls with the dragons, speaking their language and moving like he's one of the beasts himself.

Or maybe it's because Viggo has seen the boy watch without flinching as his dragons tore a hunters head from his body. The reminder of how those deep green eyes watched as blood spilled and bones snapped between powerful teeth without empathy or even disgust. Just stared in the same way a wolf would while watching his pack maul a coyote that had dared enter their territory. With zero emotion. Not even fascination or sadistic enjoyment, just... Nothing.

Maybe it's his brown hair, unruly and wind tossed and cut with a knife only. Tangled and uneven, yet clean and distinctly Nels in so many ways. Maybe it's the way he laughs on rare occasions or the way he began growing protective the longer their alliance went on. Maybe it's the fact he brings food and herbs and medical supplies without being asked, and completely for free. Maybe it's the way he looks at Viggo. Studies him in the same way the hunter studies Nels and Hiccup. "I want to crack your skull open and examine your brain like a geode," the boy had once said. "I find you interesting. I'd like to keep you around, so try not to give me a reason to kill you," he'd said as well. A simple, honest answer when Viggo had asked why Nels even attempted to pursue an alliance.

Viggo isn't entirely sure what it is, but there's undeniably something about this boy. Something that draws him in like a moth to a flame. Something dark and dangerous that he wants to study and pick apart.

He wants to dissect Nels, in a way. To break the boy open and see what makes him tick. To find what is so intriguing and solve the mystery of why he's so drawn to this apex predator that manages to masquerade so perfectly as a human.

Viggo wants nothing more than to solve the boy who seems so much like a twisted reflection of Hiccup. It's just a matter of whether he can do so before Nels solves him first.

[mythvoiced]

'you're kind of beautiful,' amwlia says to doe, big eye blinking, tone lacking confrontation or mocking undertones. just sincerity.

@astremourante | i'm so normal about this, i-

---

Below the carefully painted layer of make-up covering the scars on his forearms and the back of his hands, beneath the colour plastered below his lashes to eliminate the truth of the size of the bags growing under his eyes, underneath the casual-chic suits and form-fitting fabrics, Doe is only truly naked if undressed gently.

If you rip at his tie or slap the occasional gloves off his wrists or nearly rip his hair off his scalp and his head off his shoulders, all you have in your hands is a thoroughly startled fox, snarling in warning as it prepares to maul your face off your bones.

Violence and him agree well enough, the violent goddess haunting his waking nightmare of a life and living with his memories, the one with the thorns for fingers always wrapped into his throat, she adores his plight, bears it to the harshest lights and laughs along with his hysteria.

He's not used to alternatives.

Mostly because he doesn't allow himself the chance to get a taste for it.

It's much better to remain ignorant to feather-light touches and soft gazes than learn what sets them apart from the devouring and the cackling.

Lately he hasn't been able to figure out where Amelia's thoughts of him fit on that scale. She's proven before that she could devour him faster than he could file his teeth to take a bite of her. He doesn't think she's been in the game longer than him, but it's clear even without the wide-eyed focus of the stare he fixes on her, even without wondering, that whatever game she'd been shoved into is not the same he plays.

He plays for survival, he scratches with neither training nor finesse and he never lashes out to kill. He tries to scare to keep himself save. He's the refugee hiding in the debris of his adult self, swinging a knife he doesn't know how to use.

In contrast, Amelia is the child soldier he should shield himself from. Moving and being a certain way come more natural to her than him because he doesn't need to be anything other than unpleasant. All the other pretenses were learnt later in life.

She's older than him, in a way.

Wiser.

The way an amputee is wiser than a man complaining about a tennis elbow.

So when she doesn't do anything for the sake of something else, he's as lost at sea in an ocean of storms and threats as he is when hearing the compliments.

Suspicion and disbelief battle with inhuman growls and screeches, both desperate to beat the other as they fail to realise how deeply intertwined they are.

Threatening, suddenly, more than any of her other words have ever been.

He's let her too close.

She's halfway across the room and he feels like she has a tighter grip around his throat than if she actually threw herself across and grabbed it.

A doe caught in the headlights. Stuck in the face of impending doom, is this what it was born to die by? A creature of nature thrust into civilisation without the cognitive functions of typical human deformity to understand a car is a car and it will hurt?

What does it matter?

The doe fears anything and everything anyway. Wouldn't it be a mercy to die by something that at least doesn't growl as it slams into it?

He blinks, his gaze jumps as though he just recalled he has a body to run, to offer to the world as a sign he might actually exist, against his better judgement. It flickers, drops, cuts back to her bigger eyes.

He can't read her when she isn't spoon-feeding him what he's supposed to think of her.

That was the deal.

Or at least the one-sided one he cut, where he'd tell himself he only reacts because she wants him to play along.

Or whatever he'd told himself.

He looks away and shakes his numbed hand - the left arm always loses touch first - gaze grasping for something invisible.

He could play this one way.

Or he could...

" ... Thank you..." the frown he shoots at her looks like a question mark he isn't voicing, doubting if this is the right move.

"I... the way you smile when-" the air stops in his throat mid-way through the sentence. He's giving an arm when she's given him a finger, but it's faster. The urge to actually get there, meet her halfway for this as though some part of him has been yearning for a new direction to take this in.

He clears his throat and shakes his head, as though to clear it of the whatever infecting his brain. "You have a pleasant smile... sometimes," he settles on. And calls it a day.

[mayxthexforce]

mutatiio:

yes, that was all this was. a ploy to draw him out, to gain his trust, to ruin him. leave him broken in a way that nothing else had. admittedly, he'd planned to somehow have him dispelled from the order also, to rip away his title like had been done to him. he wanted kenobi to have nothing, to be nothing - like he did, like he was. always remember- he's not sure how long he stares up at him- through him. there is no focus in his eyes. there is nothing. his breathing returned to normal, any pain he'd felt was gone. not yet manipulated into something useful, just gone. all that was left was a sinking feeling of shame. of dread. savage died for this?? had he known this was what it would amount to (he'd have done it anyway- the same way he slaughtered jedi, convinced that somewhere along the way the feeling of emptiness would stop plaguing him, that he'd feel something, anything) he would have preferred damnation on lotho minor. i hope you're satisfied. maul, just for a moment before kenobi turns, looks at him again. at what he's done to him. the feeling of emptiness has returned, has settled within him in a sickening way that forces him to realise that it had been gone for a short while. he asks himself the simple question: are you satisfied?? his body reacts to it before his mind allows the answer. the most miniscule head shake. the answer comes to him in a whisper, as though it is someone else's voice. something outside himself. no. his eyes follow kenobi when he turns to leave. with him gone the feeling seems to sink deeper. it leaves him cold in a way that he's too familiar with. distantly, he realises that kenobi is not heading towards his ship. he's not sure how long he sits there - how long he stares at the pool of blood kenobi had left in the grass. at some point he stands. and at some point, he does the only thing he knows how to do - follow kenobi.

Obi-Wan isn't sure how long he walks for. And he's only partly aware that he's being followed.

With his refusal to turn around and dignify Maul with even the slightest glance, he could have honestly been attacked by some wild animal. But he's certain that the one following him is Maul, just Maul, trailing after him for whatever reason- if he is fully honest, Obi-Wan hopes it is to put an end to this. The anger within him has taken a different shape: hatred. Deep, unadulterated loathing. Not towards Maul, but towards himself. How could he have been so stupid?

He needs the sun, needs to remind himself that life goes on. It has to, because he's not the kind of man that gets a break just because things go wrong. Someday, he will. Someday, there'll come the sweet release of becoming one with the force and oh, how Obi-Wan longs for that day. It can't come soon enough.

But it's the middle of the night, and there's no sign of when this darkness will end. So he keeps walking, and doesn't care if he has to walk all the way around this planet to find the light. He will.

Eventually, it does seem that the scene around them is getting a little brighter.

By then, Obi-Wan's body has stopped feeling light and begun feeling heavy from blood loss. At some point, he shifted his grip on Cerasi's knife, no longer holding it by the blade, now simply white knuckling the handle with his still bloody, still injured hand. The blood doesn't make his grip relent, he's not going to risk losing it again. Never again, his mind repeats. Obi-Wan isn't completely sure those words refer to the blade- at least they don't refer ONLY to the blade.

There are birds flying above them. Large scavengers. He can hear them cawing at each other, but he doesn't look up. They've probably smelled the blood from a mile away and- well, they're opportunistic animals. Patient, too.

They know they'll get a meal sooner or later.

It turns out to be SOONER rather than later, as Obi-Wan's foot catches with a branch and he loses the balance he's so desperately been clinging to, and collapses. For a moment, he wishes he'd fallen over the sharp blade, put an end to things right then and there with —poetically— the knife of the girl he should have died for decades ago. He doesn't get back up.

Soon, the birds descend upon him. They surround him, securing their meal, pecking at each other and at HIM, too greedy to wait until his strength fully leaves him to dig in. His hand is just far too tempting for them.

One of them hisses at Maul. Territorial.

[anthrat]

The Akatsuki members as high-school students

Has this been done before? Probably! Do I care? No, because these are my terrible headcanons and nobody can take them from me.

A/N: This has been in my drafts for a long time, probably since early February. I’ve been lacking motivation to do anything at all for months and lo and behold, I find this basically finished piece bar one character. I really, really want to start writing again but I’m struggling to think of ideas, so if you have any requests for future headcanons/one shots/etc feel free to slide me a message or something :)

He's definitely the generic super intelligent kid who gets straight A's in pretty much every subject. All of his notes are really well organised, he keeps bullet journals and everything is colour coded - mans notes are literal art. His handwriting is definitely beautiful, we're talking professional calligrapher here.

All of his equipment is immaculate, he cries if one of his books gets a crease or something on it somehow. If you accidentally nudge him or ruin his notes he will silently hold a grudge against you forever - he probably won't act on his grudge though, he just wants to blend in and he dislikes conflict in general.

Despite being fully aware of his intelligence he hardly ever speaks up in classes. He only really speaks when spoken to and so is renown as the token quiet kid. I also envision him as being super pretentious, although he doesn't show it he definitely thinks he's better than everyone else.

His favourite subject would be English because he enjoys analysing anything and everything. If you're friends with him he will make comments on how random pieces of media etc. are a representation of -insert important world issue or theory.- He'd also like art despite it being the only subject he's not very good at. All his art is abstract, he will draw a pink square and claim it represents a patriarchal society.

Doesn't have many friends because he isn't very talkative, spends most of his time at school alone doing schoolwork. Sees school purely as an educational setting and so doesn't see the point in making an attempt to be social.

All of his school equipment looks like it's been mauled by 300 dogs because its all second/third/fourth+ hand. Man would never pay full price for a textbook. He definitely steals all the faculty equipment too. You could fill an entire room with the amount of stationary this man has but he will NEVER lend it to anyone else. If he does lend you something it's because its either A) broken B) barely functional (so like pens which can write 2 letters before running out) or C) you're giving him something better in return/paying for it (even then he'll probably take whatever he lent you back without you realising)

He also definitely runs mini-shops in school where he'll sell stolen equipment and things like sweets/chewing gum/trendy items (he made bank when fidget spinners were a thing) for like triple what they're actually worth.

His favourite subject is definitely history (He's a crusty dusty old man so of course) but he will never admit this. He takes business and economics but hates them, he's already done all of his own research into the subjects and is only doing them to get the qualification. Definitely complains about how he already knows it all already and it's a waste of time for him to learn it again. His only conversation topic is him talking about how he's going to set up his own business as soon as he leaves school.

Is very intelligent but only gets average grades in most subjects because he refuses to try if he dislikes the subject or sees it as a waste of time.

Watched DeathNote once and now thinks he's an actual real life version of Light Yagame. Carries around his own DeathNote and threatens to write people's name in it.

Convinced that he's been bestowed with supernatural powers, whenever he speaks he does lots of flashy hand gestures, - think generic cool-dude protagonist poses - these change depending on what piece of media he's currently obsessed with. His personality also changes alongside the poses.

Basically what I'm trying to say is he's the over-saturated 'weird anime kid' with a touch of superiority complex. Although, he's super confident and has absolutely 0 shame in this fact.

Bless his little heart, he loves writing but is the definition of 'uses complicated words without knowing what they mean'. He's still decently smart though. His grades would probably be pretty average because he struggles to apply himself properly. His favourite subject would definitely be something like sociology where he can freely express his profound ideas, even if some of them are completely god awful. He'd also enjoy any subject which gives him creative freedom such as art or English.

Cannot see this lad as anything but a jock. He loves sports, lives and breathes them. He's probably a member of practically every single sports team and is surviving on the basis he has a sports scholarship of some kind.

Despite him being a jock he'd be the most approachable out of all the Akatsuki members. He's the kind of guy who no matter who you are he'd always be happy to crack jokes and talk with you. He definitely brings in way too much food, he's that dude who brings a whole mini banquet to school every day for no discernible reason. He's always happy to share though, he's definitely the kind of guy who if he saw someone sat by themselves at lunch he'd sit with them and offer them food.

His grades would be a little on the lower side because most of his free time is taken up with all his sports, however, he'd still work hard at his academics regardless. If anything this man is probably the most dedicated, he would hate the fact that he's falling behind all his classmates but at the same time would rather die than give up any of his extracurricular activities.

He'd be fairly popular because of his naturally easygoing and humorous nature, but people would rarely ever invite him to events as they'd just assume he was busy.

Konan is an absolute babe, the kindest and most caring person in the whole school. Forgotten your lunch? She'll buy you some or give you her own. Didn't do your homework? Bitch will give you hers to copy, if it's an essay or something she'll sit with you and help you write it. Looking a little upset? Konan's right there to try and cheer you up even if you aren't friends.

Despite how wonderful and 100/10 a person she is she probably won't have many close friends. She'll get used a lot by others who take advantage of her good nature. She's smart enough to know what they're doing but she doesn't care, she's happy to be of help to anyone even if they don't appreciate it.

She's a bit of a teachers pet though, she's on super good terms with every teacher in the school even if she doesn't take the subjects they teach. Most of her breaks/lunches would be taken up by her helping with display boards or whatever.

Her favourite subject would be geography, she'd really enjoy learning about different cultures and societies. I can see her just really enjoying learning about how rivers are formed and stuff like that as well. Her least favourite would be something like math which is only fact based, she enjoys being able to look at things from different perspectives.

Also bitch would bake all the time, literally every lesson she'd whip out a box of cakes/cookies/anything else she'd baked the night before to share with the whole class.

Carries knives around with him because he thinks they make him look cool. He can and will whip one out at any given opportunity so he can flex a knife trick on you. His knife tricks suck though, he always drops them or cuts himself, if you try and walk away he'll beg you to stay claiming that fortieth time's the charm or something.

He never shows up to lessons, he doesn't even know what one is. If you ever ask him what subjects he takes he'll look at you blankly and ask what you mean. If he ever is in a lesson it's because he was dragged there by a member of staff. Honestly, the few lessons he's actually present for are so chaotic teachers find themselves praying he doesn't show up. Being as he never willingly shows up he'll never know what subject it is, and he'll ask insanely bizarre questions un-ironically because he gives no fucks and has no idea what is happening. For example, you'll be learning about arteries in biology and he'll ask something like "What ingredients do we need?" because he'll have confused arteries with artichoke and think he's in a home economics lesson.

Despite being the weird knife kid he's pretty popular, he's so completely brain dead and unaware of his surroundings that its impossible not to get along with him. He doesn't have the critical thought to bully anyone and so even if he tries to be horrible it always comes off as though he's just trying to be funny.

Oh dear oh lord what can I say about Zetsu? Zetsu is an absolute shit show of a student. Black Zetsu I can see as being very academic focussed, with their favourite subjects being religion, politics and some form of economics. I imagine they’d be very active within school politics/religious scenes, probably the head of some sort of group for both.

Black Zetsu would also be interested in applying for positions such as Head of Year, Class Representative and anything similar. They’re a big control freak and as a result have basically 0 friends. People would find them overbearing and awful to be around. They’re the incredibly opinionated kid who dismisses anything which they don’t personally agree with.

White Zetsu on the over hand, hoo boy. Class clown obviously. The living bane of Black Zetsu. If Black Zetsu wants class representative then you know people will vote for white Zetsu instead because he’s infinitely more popular. He’s incredibly weird but in such an innocent and goofy way they’d have a large group of friends. They wouldn’t be popular per say, but they’d be friends with practically everyone.

Their favourite subject would probably be biology because sex jokes, but I also think they’d enjoy English because uhh… Sex jokes. I just can’t see White Zetsu taking school even slightly seriously.

He basically lives in the art department. If you walk near him he will tag along and start talking to you about art, it doesn’t matter who you are you will be forced to listen to his speech.

Incredibly confident and has no issue starting a conversation with anyone. He's definitely the type of person who every time you see him he'd be with a completely different group of people, whether they want him there or not.

Despite his weird constant art rants he'd be the life and soul of the party. He's always fun to be around purely because of how much energy he has. He'd be the kid who makes everyone laugh completely on accident, although people would probably be laughing more at him than with him.

He'd probably get invited to lots of places by other kids just so he could be the butt of every joke. He wouldn't mind though, he'd brush it off and probably enjoy the attention he gets from it.

Most of his friends would end up being people who know nothing about art though, all the students who participated in any artistic subjects would stay far away in fear of him starting another argument about art.

If the art class ever does clay his has to be put in the kiln separately because it always blows up. He also has a habit of 'accidentally' damaging other people's art if he dislikes it. Eventually he would mellow out and start appreciating other forms.

Nobody knows who he is, people will have sat next to him for years and won't even know his name. The amount of times his name is called in the register and people will pipe up with "who's that?" or "didn't he move to another school?" is genuinely concerning. He doesn't care though, he'd rather go through school completely unnoticed.

Excels at all subjects (besides sports, he's never showed up to a PE lesson because of 'health reasons') despite putting very little effort into academics. His favourite subjects would be biology and math. He'd absolutely hate art as a subject, preferring to do art in his free time rather than make it into a chore at school. He'd have been put in Deidara's class at least once and it would have completely ruined all enjoyment of art as a subject for him. He'd also hate any subjects which prompt discussion such as English or sociology, he doesn't have any opinions on them and he doesn't care to listen to anyone else's.

Honestly, dude is the definition of a background character at school. He just simply does not exist, and I have mad respect for him. On the off chance anyone even tried to speak to him he'd probably completely ignore them, the only communication he has at school is through emails with teachers. He has 0 interest in making friends when they have nothing in common with him.

Another character sort of hard to pinpoint. He’d probably be somewhat similar to White Zetsu, but not quite as popular. He’d be a right teachers pet, with few friends his own age. He’d probably spend spend all his breaks and lunches with teachers in their classrooms, offering to help them with display boards etc.

Despite being a teachers pet he wouldn’t be academic whatsoever. He’d always try his best but bless him, he’s terrible at every subject and ends up constantly making a fool of himself. He’s definitely the sort to raise his hand to make a really great point, but his really great point is basically repeating the lesson objective. When studying of mice of men he definitely asked “what’s the name of Curly’s wife’s husband?”

His favourite subject, regardless of his ineptitude would be drama. He’d always be the most melodramatic and over the top in every character he played, not really caring what other people thought of him. In fact, that’s probably his best feature. Despite his lack of popularity he’d always unapologetically be himself, his goofy and over the top self.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

If we’re thinking more about Obito, I’d like to imagine for the sake of this headcanon Tobi is what he’s like during lower school years and then suddenly one summer he comes back and he’s completely matured into this foreign character unrecognisable to nobody.

He’d become incredibly serious, forgoing the role of energetic teachers pet to a much more muted one. He’d still be just as terrible at all his lessons, and still spend most of his time around teachers rather than others his age but he’d no longer have that fun spark. He’d probably start caring greatly about what people thought of him so his latter years would be trying to stay under the radar completely.