#being in love with your authentic self is the most beautiful chapter to be at.... °˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°

[astrolocherry]

Birthday Venus-Saturn aspects ~ "Your Daddy Loves You..."

Written by Astrolocherry

Venus conjunct Saturn, Venus sextile Saturn, Venus square Saturn, Venus trine Saturn, Venus opposite Saturn

The individual born with Venus forming aspect to Saturn is gifted a double-banded commitment ring from Saturn. Therein contains a promise that while partnership may be potentially timeworn and difficult to find in this lifetime, when the love eventually comes it will be greater than anything she could have imagined. She may have distant fantasies or longings about her ideal partner, but never completely entertains these as actual possibilities, often due to an inherent sense of worthlessness or being undeserving with matters of the heart. Something happens during the developmental phase of life that breaks this heart before it has fully formed. It is sensitive, scarred, and often bandaged in the protective defences that cut her off from accepting the affection and attention that she can’t admit is much needed. In traditional astrology, Venus is the portion of our consciousness that beholds our eye of beauty, femininity, aesthetic, and style. The shadow of Saturn leering over Venus often produces an apathy and at worst, a revulsion regarding her own self-image of beauty. 

Despite feeling so disconnected and detached from her feminine side, the individual with a Venus-Saturn aspect is divinely feminine in its most timeless, antiqued, resiliently elegant, and everlasting archetypal form. It is a lifelong reunion between the inner Fairy Godmother, and the little girl inside who is enslaved to those leftover feelings of being defective, unattractive, and impossible to love. It is until this reunion occurs, or in the worst case scenarios when the inner work has been left incomplete and it never happens at all, that the individual experiences the traditional Venus-Saturn suffering in love that we would expect. These conditions may result in a choice of relationship partners and dynamics that reflect and play-out the sentiments of the little girl inside rather than the woman, and may involve themes of relegation, power imbalances, mistreatment, and re-casting father figures. There may also be some form of self-imposed entrapment in relationships, something inside that stops her from walking out an open door.

The traditional Venus-Saturn age-gap in love and attraction to older people may be one relationship theme that prevails through life. However, as she grows older and wiser, she will often come to recognise this attraction being shaped by different needs and desires that are more authentic and ultimately satisfying. As she becomes less beheld to old conditions, the need is less for paternal fulfilment and redemption . This could be a young soul or an old soul - her attraction to older people has never been about that. It’s rather about a depth that this heart possesses, a serene, dewy, alluringly tragic wisdom and insight that is decades older than its years, searching for somebody who could possibly understand this, at times confusing age for inner experience.

With her poised and intriguing interactive style, she is often readily complimented and admired by friends, colleagues, superiors, and strangers alike. And while she hears the sentiments quite clearly, she barely absorbs a word. She appreciates the genuineness, but she cannot feel a thing, and she won’t until that girl is back in the arms of the Enchanted Elder inside. Breaking their spell of separation repairs her broken heart. She slowly embraces her femininity, and a pageant of Feminine Priestesses embrace her back, and once she starts seeing and styling herself in this way - the real show of Who She is really begins. This is also often when the first chapters of life’s true love story only just begin. A growing comfort and confidence, a silver Saturn glow that may have seen its shadows, yet there blooms a Venus rose that is everlasting and can never die without sunlight.

Cherry

[befemininenow]

Extra caption no. 69 of 69: Close the closet door and open a new road!

This is it, the final extra caption post! What better way to conclude this chapter than to use one of two of the most captioned pictures as part of my last Flashback Friday: the one where a woman opens the door and takes a peek outside closed doors and the other pic where the woman looks towards the far road. It can be interpreted as a metaphor for curiosity of the outside, for conquering fear, for moving forward, whatever meaning you have.

But as a transgender girl (or trans woman since I’m an adult), the pics have a meaning. I’ll share my thought for the first: coming out of the closet is a very challenging process. For many, it’s easy to keep a front (i.e. a fake image) to satisfy even those that may not like you. Everyone is satisfied, everyone... except you.

It’s very difficult to be your authentic self because everything has at least a boundary. In the case of being transgender, it’s becoming more apparent: anti-trans laws, restriction of HRT, document changes, hate propaganda, persecution, acceptance by loved ones, etc. But even if all of this did not exist, there is one major barrier to your coming out: you. Staying inside the closet is a real-life nightmare. It drains your energy and will in place of “safe solitude”. You question yourself daily and look at someone foreign to you in the mirror. It gets to the point where you begin to despise yourself. Some people will start to notice your drastic change and may ask “what’s wrong?” But in fear of letting them down or losing them for life, you decline and continue to be who you’re not.

But in the rare times you’re happy, it’s when you dressed up as a girl. It’s not because of a dare or a thrill. It’s because you wish to look feminine, to learn about the other side, to stay in touch with femininity, to be looking at... to be, you.

It’s okay to let go. Fighting those tears will hurt you more. But I promise you, girl, everything will be much better here. The few that hate you are too vocal... because they’re afraid of becoming irrelevant. The general majority are quite indifferent, but they will not let hate prevail either. In reality, there is more support for you to be yourself, for your right to exist. But that may only happen if you leave that dark room.

It will be tough, yes. You will lose close friends and loved ones and possibly gain a few enemies on your way. There will also be more obstacles to prevent you from succeeding. But nothing will be impossible when you finally become yourself. Leaving as a woman in that quiet, wide road is as satisfying as it sounds. You will meet new adventures and new companions that will be part of your new chapter, the chapter of transition into your feminine self. And it all starts when you finally let the beautiful girl in the collar blouse out...

[blimbosworlddd]

Nirvana: A Rock Lee Tale (Chapter 1)

Summary: Your dating life is terrible. Your friends’ marriage is fantastic. Your career as a medic was doing great, though. But you aren’t happy. However, after one quick trip to the Mighty Rock Dojo, you stumble upon the most magnificent man you’ve ever met- the taijutsu master- Rock Lee.

Notes: slow burn fic, afab/fem/black reader.

Warnings: Mentions of sex, (light) descriptions of blood and violence. Usage of the N word. The reader and Lee are in their late 20s but virtually any age group that is 18 and up can enjoy this story. Again 18+, minors do not interact… pls.

Word count: 2.6k

Masterlist

Next Chapter

You are lonely. So lonely.

Your friends tell you that you’re young and shouldn’t chase and should wait for the right person and should focus on yourself and all that jazz. But there is nothing else you can do but wait; your career as a medic is finally starting to blossom, you’re trying to take care of yourself, and dating apps are full of people you aren’t attracted to. And the ones who did interest you either don’t hit you up or stop engaging.

You feel worthless sometimes, like no matter how beautiful or poised you try to come off, that one person who you dream of spoiling and loving you is only that- a dream. You always feel like you'll never be fully appreciated. You know you deserve someone who takes care of you, but no matter how painful it is you always keep pushing. You never have time to drown in self-pity. At the end of the day, people still love and support you. That’s why you went on a date with some guy Temari and her husband, Shikamaru, put you on.

You always envied their relationship; they’ve been going strong since college, watching them grow and evolve as they fall deeper in love with each other. It’d make you quietly turn away and scowl every time they’d hold hands or smile into their kisses. Your date’s name is Sai. You went out a couple of times beforehand, and actually enjoyed his time; he was a smooth talker with a serene vibe who allowed you to be the corny goofball you are when comfortable. Especially when he’d crack deadpan jokes and tease you. The conversations you had held weight and authenticity.

Y’all are on your third date, walking the night streets of the city while eating rolled ice cream. The stroll is silent but comfortable, ignoring the fact that Sai hadn’t talked much throughout the day.

"Did you enjoy our date?" Sai quips, eyebrows rising inquisitively.

You swallow the melting treat and nod your head.

"Yup!" You lie. "What about you?"

Sai looks down at the remnants of melted ice cream in his cup before stopping in his tracks.

“Y/n, I think you’re really cool,” he prompts.

Fuck me, you think.

"But I don't see us being any more than good friends. I don't feel any excitement when I'm with you. Plus, my ex and I wanna get back together so... Yeah."

While nodding spitefully, your plump lips press together in a tight line.

"Goodbye, Sai." You turn around and walk the opposite direction.

"Should I get you an uber?" He calls out.

You simply wave your hand without looking back. You’re glad you didn’t fuck him anyways, since you already learned the hard way of fooling around while easily susceptible to attachment. That's how you got your heart broken. And you've healed, still healing, but trust is earned. And your time requires effort now.

You shut your apartment door with a foot and lock it before kicking off your heels. Tossing your keys on the living room table, you pad your way to the nearest couch and plop your face on the mattress.

Your eyes sting at the despair of it all, wondering if this love shit is only magical for some. You bring your vibrating phone closer to your face, only to see that it's Shikamaru. You sigh in contemplation, side-eyeing the TV across from you before reluctantly answering the call.

"Heyyy." Your voice drawls out in a feeble attempt at sounding happy.

"How was your date?" He sounds groggy, like he just woke up from one of his daily naps.

You gulp, eyes widening in shame. "It was - uhhh.”

You hear shuffling on your friend's end, waiting patiently for your response as he opens his refrigerator for snacks.

"Do you think I'm boring?" You whisper, as if you’re unraveling this big secret.

The noise ceases on the other side.

"He dropped you, didn't he?" He deadpans.

Your silence is all the answer he needs.

Shikamaru scoffs. "Fuck him. Don't let some dude you only met 3 times ruin the rest of your week.

"Mhmm." You hear people say that all too often for your liking.

"He said I didn't excite him. Whatever the hell that means."

"That's really a drag, y/n. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. But you're not boring at all, it's his loss. Not yours.”

You curl up in a ball and stare at your TV screen, listening to your friend unwrapping a candy bar.

"Hey listen," he takes a bite from the frozen chocolate.

“Instead of sulking in your dark little hole till you find another date, how about you come with Mari and me to meet a good friend?"

"Whoring me out again are we?"

"Damn, was it that obvious?" He sighs tiredly at your lewd sarcasm.

“Anyway, he runs a dojo that his sensei founded. Called the Mighty Rock Dojo."

"Stupid name." You comment petulantly.

"Yeah I know." He snorts. "We'll pick you up at ten am if you want, a change in scenery could help with your... perspective on life."

"S'okay, you can say I’m depressed.”

“Yeah, well I think this could help, even a little bit. Didn't you always watch those Bruce Lee movies when you were a kid? Rush Hour? The Karate Kid?"

“Yeah but-“

"This could unlock good memories for you. Make you feel like you belong?"

"I don't fight though." you reason.

"No need. Just watch."

Your eyebrows furrow in deep worry. While his offer is tempting, you do not see how attending a dojo can fix your love life. Maybe you could use some innocent excitement for once.

"Alright, alright." You whine, cursing your schedule for making you free tomorrow. “Ten am you said?"

"That's my girl,” You side eye your phone: he hasn’t called you that since y’all broke up.

“And yes, we'll pick you up at ten. Now go to sleep.”

After your friend hangs up, you set your timer on your phone and toss it on the table beside you.

-

You are not a morning person; eyes burning from fresh sleep as you ponder whether you should fling your roaring alarm across your wall. You don’t really know what to wear at a dojo, so you decide on more casual clothing for the day. When you feel like you're all caught up on your morning routine, notifications of Temari texting you to come downstairs pop up on your phone.

You greet the couple as you enter their jeep and sit in the back, enjoying the faint aroma of cinnamon in the air.

"You ready to see some sick ass-whooping?" Temari snarls.

"You know it, girl." You snigger.

She is a breath of fresh air, you like befriending people who are more unserious than you at times.

The ride is peaceful; sun rays dancing through the windows, a lofi playlist tuning in the background to set a nice vibe. You'd doze off if you weren't getting eager to see what this dojo's all about.

"So Pineapple, who is this friend of yours?"

"Rock Lee." Shikamaru grumbles while staring ahead, spiky ponytail peaking above the headrest. You call him "pineapple” when you're feeling goofy, and he hates that his wife started using that foolish nickname on him soon after.

“He's been the master of the dojo ever since his sensei, Might Guy, retired 5 years ago," Temari adds.

You hum in acknowledgment. When you all finally arrive, your eyes droop a bit at how... unimpressive the outside looks. Very bland letters that spell out the text of the establishment's name. you wouldn't consider it a dojo without the word dojo being on the big sign. You groan in pending boredom.

A ceiling bell jingles as you enter, the first step inside the dojo and your face is smothered with the pungency of feet. Usually, you would turn right back around with a cringe and escape such an aggressive odor, but the man before you makes it exceptionally difficult to look away:

Beads of sweat decorate the contours of his neck and chest. An impeccable horse stance coils his body like a spring; perfect posture, plump ass sitting in a squat that shows the subtle bulge of his thighs through the fabric of his Gi; knees spread apart and each one bent at a 90 degree angle; left arm firmly folded behind his back while the other has his front palm facing him, slender fingers pointing up and pressed together like a blade. His hands and wrists are wrapped in white bandages that you assume would help secure the worn skin beneath. He’s in the midst of a match; his intense, unblinking gaze holding both his opponent and the onlookers in rapt attention. Every move is a display of disciplined grace and raw physical power. Every strike, every dodge, every block- they all hold tactical precision unlike any other. It's why he barely took a single blow.

You don't look away, leaning closer to Shikamaru.

"What technique is he using?" You mumble in fascination.

Your friend chuckles, sighing quietly after.

"Taijutsu. An ancient martial art that his sensei put on the map a few decades back. Last time I checked, this'll be Lee's 40th beaten opponent this week."

"Well damn." You grunt.

But how unexpected was it? He looks like an ancient warrior, like he loves what he’s doing. So much so, that the physical pain seems a necessity for his strength. That's why a dozen surround him in awe of his mastery.

The atmosphere is electric, growing anticipation of how this battle will end thickens the air. Lee's opponent is bruised up, battered figure wobbling side to side just to cope with the damage already done to him. All Lee has to do is wait a few moments, not moving an inch until he watches him fall to his knees, and collapse on the matted floor. The victor blinks a couple of times with a deep inhale, you can hear the timbre of his voice when he releases his breath.

"Heh. Some things never change," Temari scoffs with a knowing smile.

Relaxing his arms at the applauding crowd, Lee stands straight and bows to his beaten contestant, whispering a “thank you” for showing his dedication and strength: Lee slowly grabs his arm to help lift his body, walking him to a nursing room in the back of the dojo so he can tend to his injuries. An idea pops into your head, kicking off your street shoes to trot past the crowd and follow them. You decide that since you're a medical professional, you'd assist the fighter in his hospitality. You get steadily closer until you find him looking in the cabinets for certain remedies.

"Got antiseptic with cotton balls?"

Lee jolts to face you while still crouched under the counter, hitting his head against the hard surface.

Your hand covers your mouth in mortification.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"Don't worry, my friend!" He chuckles sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head. "Just didn't expect anyone to come in yet, haha!"

You smile at his reassurance, not expecting the depth of his voice; a low bass overshadowed by whimsical friendliness every time he speaks.

"Ahh okay. Still have any antiseptic with cotton balls?"

"Oh, yeah! need some?"

"No, but your friend does.”

Lee lowers his hand, turning his head to the man who lay on a thin mattress, and turns back to look at you.

"You want to help him?"

"Mhm!" You chirp, digging in your bag for your wallet to show him your license. Lee raises his hands up at your insistence.

"Y-You don't need to prove yourself to me! I appreciate the help. His eyes crinkle shut with a toothy smile.

You were thinking of ways to make it falter, like caressing the area where his neck and jaw meet or brushing your thumb along his bushy eyebrows. You could see how strong he is, and you want to feel it this time. You've never considered his textbook features attractive, but he makes them look too endearing to dislike.

After swiping a bag full of cotton from the upper cabinet, Lee notions you to come closer with a wave.

Walking to stand beside him, you analyze the man's wounds. Gently pressing your fingers throughout his body, you fail to spot any particularly tender areas.

Lee hands you a cotton swab with a bottle of antiseptic.

"Nun too serious." You murmur while squirting the solution on the cotton. "He'll be fine.”

He nods with a hum, watching you gently dab the damp material on the fighter's bloodied face.

"What's his name?"

"Neji. We've known each other since childhood."

There was a lilt of fondness in Lee's tone when regarding the man you're patching up.

Neji winces when you clean a certain cut above his eyebrow, making you pause with caution.

"Oop, sorry Neji. I'm almost done." You coo.

Lee watches in awe at how graceful and precise your movements are when treating his friend, the subtle focus in your stare as you put your training to use impresses him even more. He couldn't be that delicate with someone if he tried. He clears his throat.

"H-How did you learn about the dojo?"

You look up in quick thought before flickering your eyes down to the task at hand.

"The Naras brought me here."

Lee's eyes glow up like light bulbs.

"Shika knows you?!"

You snort at the cute nickname.

"Yeah. We've been friends since high school. Him and Temari think this place would be a... more cathartic way to spend my time."

You appreciate the couple for thinking of you, really. But it's still kind of embarrassing that they know how much of a loner you are. Lee places a hand on his hip while the other rubs his chin, eyes closing to reminisce about a familiar time in his life.

"Ahh, I remember when I had nothing better to do than work at the dojo. It got so bad that Shika stepped in to show me a more casual way of life. I didn't stop wearing my sense's hand-me-downs till last year!"

You giggle at how open he is to someone he just met. Lee didn't expect your sultry voice to allure him so easily when you laughed. He wants to make you do it again.

*Yeah," you agree. *He's like a dad friend."

"He IS a dad friend."

Both laughing heartily in unison, you wrap up Neji's treatment and return all the equipment you used.

"All he needs is a few day's rest and he'll be good as new." You look down at Neji who's sound asleep, sighing in pride at your handiwork.

"My name is Rock Lee, but I'd like it if you called me Sensei Lee. What's yours?"

"Y/n. It's nice to meet you, Sensei."

You love the way he looks down at you with those big round eyes. His grin is calm, radiating silent confidence.

"You'd be a great addition to our dojo, y/n.” You love the way your name rolls off his tongue. But your skin crawls at what that might say about you.

"You think so?"

"Know so! Every time I patch up my students, they say I'm too rough. But you're obviously a pro.”

You quietly scoff in shyness, the thought of being a nurse for a bunch of fighters never passed your mind till now. Lee blinks a few times in concern.

"I can pay you, if that's the issue."

You shake your head abruptly..

"I already have a well-paying job. Plus I couldn't do my best if it's only for the money."

”Yes, of course."

He is too good at eye contact and manners. You beg yourself to act right.

"I'll think about it. What's your number for the meantime?"

After he gives you his phone, you bid each other farewell. When you reunite with the Nara's you tell them everything that went down in the nursing room.

Shikamaru smirks knowingly, turning towards his car.

“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Anyways, I want brunch."

"Meals are on me for introducing a new hobby!"

"This is why we love y/n."

"Don't get used to it," you warn playfully.

This work belongs solely to ©️ blimbosworlddd. Do not plagiarize, steal, copy or repost. I worked very hard on this; reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated.

[csprslvt]

teacher aide pt 5

Summary: Ellie wakes up to seeing the love of her life and is filled with adoration, who knew that could be replaced with hate so quickly?

Warnings: kissing, sexual touching(?) Reader is self-destructive, Ellie gets her feelings hurt, short chapter (IM SORRY) Ellie kicks a trashcan bc shes angy. lmk if I missed anything!

This time when you woke up in Ellie’s bed, you stayed until she woke up. She had a rough day yesterday, you didn't have any classes in the morning, you owed her your time. You had no excuse to leave her in the state she was in. Your phone vibrated, notifications from Abby.

Goodmorning y/n. At 8:02 am

You smiled, typing a response, It felt wrong doing so with Ellie sleeping on your chest. But it was Abby, you couldn't ignore her.

Goodmorningggg, i'm sorry about yesterday  At 8:03 am

It's all good, how is Ellie?  At 8:03 am

You frowned, Abby was so caring even towards people that didnt like her. Ellie was always absorbed in jealousy when Abby was around you. They were so different yet so similar.

She's asleep. I'm waiting for her to wake up. At 8:04 am

You're a good friend y/n. At 8:04 am 

You didn't feel like one. You had given Ellie false hope, false hope that you could love her. Somehow along the way, the lines between friendship and romance had become blurred. You two had an intense homoerotic connection. As much as you would like to deny it, she wanted more. You didn't. You were wrapped up in Abby’s courtship, her loving gaze, it was all her. Still something about being with Ellie felt all too natural. Being around Abby was a breath of fresh air and Ellie was like a sharp inhale.

Should you tell Abby this? Most likely not. But upholding a sense of engimac energy was getting exhausting. Connecting with people was difficult for you, pushing them away was your thing. Maybe it was time to let someone in.

I don't feel like one. At 8:06 am

Why's that? At 8:06 am

I'm not stupid yk? Like ik Ellie wants more than a friendship with me. And here I am, allowing her to think that it'll happen. At 8:08 am

You don't want to be with her? At 8:08 am

I'm not really good at relationships. At 8:08 am

What makes you think that? At 8:09 am

I don't know, I just struggle to express my feelings in a way that people understand. I push them away because it overwhelms me, I've never had a serious relationship. At 8:09 am

Just because people don't understand how you show love doesn't mean you aren't worth loving y/n. At 8:09 am

You inhaled, you felt like you could cry, staring at the screen with blue light in your face. Those were the words you needed to hear that no one had ever spoken. No one had dared to understand the way you showed emotion. You had hardly understood it yourself.

You're smart and so funny and kind and god you are so beautiful y/n. You are a person worth loving.  At 8:09 am

Ellie stirred on your chest as you shivered from Abby’s words. She would wake up soon.

You're not so bad yourself Anderson. At 8:10 am

It was hard to take it seriously, what she was saying. It was so foreign to you to feel seen,understood, maybe even loved.

Hahaha. At 8:11 am

Ellie shifted, you texted Abby goodbye for now and put your phone down. You stroked Ellies auburn hair as she awoke.

She opened her eyes, adjusting to her surroundings, then she locked eyes with you and she looked so love stricken it was painful.

“You're here” she said with an adoring smile.

“I wouldn't leave you alone in that state Els”

Ellie blinked, her cheeks flushed showing off her starry array of freckles. Her eyes shifted down to your lips, then back to your eyes.

“I could kiss you right now.”

You gulped, frozen in place, the hand you had in her hair stopped moving and you stilled to look at her. Sunshine hitting her green eyes she stared at you. Never had she been this bold. Never were you forced to push away from her.

“I could kiss you right now… would you stop me? Hmm?” She asked you, her voice raspy from her sleep, she was so authentically Ellie right now. How could you reject her?

She leaned towards you eyes hooded with desire, her lips brushing yours so lightly and briefly and intimately it couldn't be counted as a kiss.

“Why won't you stop me?”

You couldn't speak.

“Why do you act like you want me and then say you don't? So confusing.”

“Ellie it's not appropriate-”

“Oh don't play coy with me, you spend half your nights cuddled up in my bed with me. Nothing about our relationship has ever been appropriate”

It had been so long since you were touched. So long since you have been kissed, the temptation to give in filled your brain. An impulsive temptation.But the thoughts of a certain blond permeated the black space of your mind.

“Ellie, if we do this our friendship will never be the same.”

“Hmm I don't care” She was so close, you could feel her breathing on your face, light and soft. She placed her hands on top of yours, resting on your chest.

“Jus’ want you. I don't want friendship. I want to kiss you.”

“Will you let me?” She said very seriously, looking deep into the molecules of your being.

“Ellie…” 

Hope and fear of rejection mixed in her green eyes.

“Can I?”

You didn't say a word, instead you closed your eyes and  pressed your lips to hers, hungry and wanting. She took advantage, gently touching every part of you she could reach. Suddenly she was very awake, your hands wrapped around her neck and she straddled you, desperate mouths moved for more. Every part of you was high on Ellie.

She had you in a trance where the world and its consequences ran away. 

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. 

She moved to your neck, kissing you so softly and lovingly, filled with unmet promises. You preened for her affections. 

That was until your phone vibrated, once and then again, You looked over and saw a notification that planted you back into reality.

Abby.

You pulled away and Ellie looked confused, her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Don't tell me you regret this already.” 

She sounded small, heartbroken and fueled with fear.  Her eyes searched your face for emotion but you felt so overwhelmed you'd become numb, you looked at her, and looked at your phone. She followed your gaze and got off of you, picking the phone up and seeing a notification from Abby. The love she felt was replaced with anger. 

“So this is about her isn't it?” She was fuming, so much emotion contained in her eyes, clouded with pain.

“Ellie please don't make a big deal out of this, It was a mistake.” you stood to face her, face the mess you created.

The moment you released those words you regretted them, the stung Ellie deep in her soul, in her heart.

There you were, destroying everything you touched once again.

“A mistake, this whole fucking thing we had going on, was a mistake?”

“Nothing was going on.”

Ellies eyebrows rose in surprise, she scoffed, “Oh so what, you just spent the night in everyone's dorm? Do you just let all of them call you babe and treat you special? Hm? Or was it just me you decided to take advantage of?”

Panic rose in your throat, the thousands of words you had to say escaped you. 

I'm a bad person, I'm a bad person. Look at what I've done. I'm a bad person.

You choked, you never cried, it wasn't something that came easy to you. But now, as you began to finally feel you needed to cry. Pushing back tears, you saw the destruction you created and the girl you had hurt in your own selfish process.

“I'm sorry” you said with a shaky voice. It pissed Ellie off even more.

“Oh fuck that. You don't get to sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You dont get to sit here and fucking cry!” Ellie was yelling now, she kicked the nearest thing, a trashcan, in your direction. You flinched but she was too furious to care.

Her words cut deep into you.

I'm a bad person, I'm a bad person.

“I should be the one fucking crying after the way you used me, and I know you arent stupid y/n. Youre one of the smartest people I know, you fucked me over and you know it.”

You couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Everything hurts. Everything was your fault.

You were the one that kissed her first.

She was right.

“Get the fuck out y/n.” 

Quickly and without a word you gathered your things and practically ran out the dorm, slamming it shut behind you.

And Ellie? Well, as all the anger flooded in her veins she did nothing, nothing but hate.

[halfmoth-halfman]

I sincerely hope we get to see a new form of Canary after all this carnage. Like she went through hell, scraped out of there barely alive, barely together, and on the other side of this she finds this special kind of confidence. A confidence that lets her stand on her own without feeling the need to run from Graves. It'd be the kind of confidence that burns cities down, make her horrible father grin from the grave, have Price and co. looking at her in pure disbelief.

But I also hope she doesn't. As much as I love that kind of post trauma transformation, I feel Canary's path takes her to rescued animal mentality. She's grateful but she is oh so skittish. She'll run if you get too close too quick. Price won't be able to comfort her through touch (that's gone, buddy.) It's going to be sitting in silence, slowly reacclimating to not living in fight or flight, learning to rewire and trust her mind and her body again. Ptsd is a complex and tricky bitch. It's gonna rock everyone's world.

I loved the coat scene. It was so tragically beautiful in the depiction of that pure panic that comes from the fear of an abuser. It felt real and authentic. I always find panic attacks the hardest to write/read because they're so easy to get slightly wrong, and this was perfectly done. I love that Ghost is the one who got her in that moment. He's the perfect one to see it for what it is and rescue her from that spiraling pit.

This fic is a hard read only because of how heavy it gets. Yet, it's that very heaviness that pulls you in and makes you stay. It isn't self-indulgent in these dark themes. Each is used carefully and purposefully to create a world in which your readers feel their chests aching with each disaster that strikes Canary. You've gotta be ready to walk into this one, and I appreciate how thoughtful your warnings are before each chapter. I felt adequately prepared without anything being spoiled.

I didn't intend to write so much, but your fic has plagued me since I read it all in one sitting the other night. There are so many layers to it that I enjoy watching reveal themselves with each new event. I'm genuinely excited to see what happens next. Canary has been severely injured. I have a feeling there is going to be some temporary mobility issues/needing help frequently that is going to bring a lot of this trauma to the forefront right away.

there's only so much i can say without going into spoiler territory, but we'll def get a different canary after this. i feel like it's a combination of the two, she's confident and ready to burn everything to the ground when it comes to graves and makarov, but in private, when she's alone or with the 141, a lot more of that skittishness and paranoia comes out.

we've seen that touch is like the go-to form of comfort for a lot of the 141 so there's going to be difficulty navigating how to comfort her when she doesn't want to be touched. it's gonna be a long and complex journey for everyone involved, esp canary because there's things that she probably didn't even realize have affected her but now will come to the forefront because she's in a much more relaxed environment.

the coat scene was one of the first scenes i had fully planned out for the series! i wasn't fully sure who was going to be the one to find her (originally it was valeria and farah) but i knew it'd be a moment where canary was so panicked that it wouldn't matter how scared she was of the 141 member that found her, she just needed to get the coat fixed because graves and makarov being mad at her was worse than anything the 141 could do to her. in the end, it just felt right that ghost would be the one to find her, since he was the one who accused her in the first place. it's a very "here's the direct consequences of your actions" moment for him.

i get what you mean about panic attacks in fics, but i know they're hard to nail down since everyone can have different experiences with them. most of the panic attack scenes in designer dress i pull from my own experiences and things i've felt with my own anxiety.

i knew when i started doing a mob!au that there were going to be some dark themes since that's very common in this genre, but i tried/am trying to make sure it's not a dark fic if that makes sense? i, myself, am very sensitive to certain triggers so i always try to make sure i give the proper warnings for every chapter and am always open if anyone needs something tagged that i may have missed (within reason ofc)

i appreciate you going into so much detail here omg, this is very thoughtful and so sweet. things are def going to be difficult for canary going forward, but there's a more hopeful vibe to it—she's healing and getting therapy and relearning how to trust again which won't be easy but will be better for her in the end.

[janggalaegypt]

Dear Eleanor,

Here's to end this 2023 chapters.

But let me start by saying that I am so proud of you. Like really really proud.

Le, 2023 is such a hard year for you. You've been through stuff you didn't deserve and didn't tell anyone about it because it's just too hard to explain. Even if you did, you really can't exactly detail what you are feeling.

You didn't deserve the problems you faced, and I hope you recover soon. I know you can. We think we can't, but trust me, you are stronger than you think, and once you start focusing on yourself, you'll live life to the fullest.

Eleanor, you don't know how much I want to give you the biggest and longest hug every time you say it is too hard to handle. I want to come and tell you how much you mean to me. Tell you how I wish I'd held you this long during those times when you cried so hard. Tell you how I wish I should've been there for you when you needed me. I want to give you the biggest and longest hug, let you curled up in my lap and tell you how much I love you.

Leya, every moment we spend together is a treasure. From our adventures and silly inside jokes to the quiet moments of comfort and understanding at 3 a.m. I cherish every second. You have this amazing ability to make me feel like the most special person in the world, and I can't thank you enough for that.

Your love has opened up a whole new world for me. You've shown me what it means to be truly loved and accepted for who I am. With you, I feel safe to be my authentic self, and that's a gift I will forever hold close to my heart. As we continue to navigate this beautiful journey together, I want you to know that my love for you grows stronger with each passing day. You are my rock, my best friend, and my partner in crime. I can't imagine my life without you.

Thank you for being the incredible person that you are. Thank you for choosing me and for making me feel like the luckiest person alive. I love you more than words can express, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

Please stay with me for the longest time and be my 3 a.m. thought. Always

Yours,

Janggala.

[audioscience1986]

You know, there's something about being 37. It's that delicate intersection between youth and wisdom, between dreams and reality. At this age, you start to realize that time is slipping through your fingers, and you can't help but take stock of where you've been and where you're going.

It's like standing at the edge of a precipice, looking back at the winding path behind you. The mistakes you've made, the triumphs you've celebrated, the heartaches you've endured—they all come rushing back, forming the mosaic of your existence. And you can't help but wonder if you've made the most of it all.

There's a restlessness that seeps into your bones, a sense of urgency to chase after the dreams that still flicker within your heart. You start to question whether you've settled for less than you deserve, whether you've compromised too much along the way. The world suddenly feels both limitless and suffocating, filled with infinite possibilities and daunting expectations.

At 37, you carry the weight of experience on your shoulders. You've weathered storms and emerged stronger, scars etched upon your soul as reminders of your resilience. You've learned that life doesn't always go according to plan, that curveballs can shatter your carefully constructed illusions. But you've also discovered the power of perseverance, the ability to rise from the ashes and rebuild.

Yet, amidst the introspection and the longing for something more, there's a beauty in being 37. You've shed the insecurities of your younger self, finding solace in your own skin. The opinions of others hold less sway over you, and you embrace the liberation that comes with authenticity. You've learned to love yourself, flaws and all, and that love radiates from within, illuminating your path forward.

Being 37 means savoring the present, cherishing the moments that make your heart flutter and your spirit soar. It's finding joy in the simplest pleasures—a warm cup of coffee on a quiet morning, laughter shared with loved ones, the feel of grass beneath your bare feet. You've learned that happiness isn't always found in grand gestures; it resides in the small, everyday miracles that surround you.

And as you navigate the uncharted territory of your late thirties, you realize that life isn't a race against time; it's a dance with time. It's about embracing the journey, savoring each step, and finding beauty in the detours. It's about recognizing that you are exactly where you need to be, even if the destination is still shrouded in uncertainty.

So, here's to being 37—to the lessons learned, the dreams yet to be fulfilled, and the resilience that carries us through. It's a chapter of life filled with bittersweet nostalgia and the hope of endless possibilities. And as the years continue to unfold, may we embrace the wisdom gained and the love that radiates from within, knowing that age is but a number, and the true essence of our being transcends the confines of time.

xoxo,

Patrick John

[eurydicees]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

hello!! i don't mind at all :D this question has been on my mind since you sent this a few days ago and i'm still undecided. like. i can't narrow it down to a list. that's so hard. i'm so indecisive. i'm putting these in no particular order, it's just a list. ordering them was too hard and i'm so small and not good at playing favorites. i'm only gonna do seven because this post got absurdly long. thank you for the ask!

haikyuu!!

oh my god genuinely one of the best written manga/anime that i've ever read/seen. it's so good. the characters are so vivid and they are all so important to me. every scene, character, arc, plotline...it's all treated with so much love and care and i'm so grateful for that. and the ending is SO satisfying--it all comes together so well. i was genuinely rooting for every character's success throughout the entire story. it's so important to me.

hadestown

this is a musical so idk if this is an answer you want, but this musical is so amazing, i have to mention it. it manages to encapsulate so many important messages while also creating a truly very compelling story. the way it reworks the original myth--staying true to the story, while putting its own twist on the world and the relationships of the characters--is truly brilliant.

next to normal

another musical. sorry for being a theatre kid on main. but fr this is genuinely one of the most important stories to me. it's gorgeous as a musical and as a story: the music itself is truly beautiful, the storyline is unforgettable, the characters are individually each so well-written and have so much depth. it means so much to me personally; the representation of an imperfect life, living with bipolar disorder and all that comes with it, the impact we all have on each other's lives, the exploration of relationships and mental illness and self-perception and healing and imperfect, non-linear growth....it's truly a work of genius in my mind.

bridge to terabithia

i know that this is a children's book but i recently reread it and it blew my mind how much depth, care, authenticity, and love is in it. it's a truly beautiful piece of art: i was so impressed by the characters, by the story, by the #Point of it all. it's a coming of age story but it's also so much more than just growing up. it's about imagination and childhood and friendship and it means so much to me.

fruits basket

this is such a beautiful exploration of character and relationships and abuse and love and family and friendship and the importance of a single person. it's such an important piece of writing. i would say that this is probably the weakest of the seven on the list, writing-wise, but i also think that the characters are so well-written, so expansive, and so fleshed out that it deserves to be on a top 7 list. each character has something special to bring to the narrative and i love that.

ouran high school host club (the MANGA not anime)

i'm soooo crazy about this manga. there's so much to unpack with every chapter, every arc, every character, every piece of this world...i love it so much. the characters each are so deeply loved by the narrative and i appreciate that. it absolutely has issues as a piece of satire from 2002, but i have forgiven tamaki suoh for his crimes so it's fine /j. but like genuinely, it has some of the most beautiful character and relationship development i've seen in a manga, specifically surrounding tamaki and haruhi. i know people have a love-hate or sometimes just hate relationship with tamaki, but he as a character means so much to me....i adore this stupid silly manga so much.

percy jackson and the olympians

i've been debating putting this one on the list for a little while now, but it has such sentimental value that i think it deserves to be here. it's one of my favorite childhood series and honestly that first series holds up! which is so refreshing to see because man that cannot be said about everything. i love the characters so so so much and the actual story is so brilliantly and lovingly crafted, and the way it all comes together and is woven into a beautiful ending makes me so wild. i do reread this series every few years and i have never once regretted it.

[tony-brown-diprima]

Sure, here is a more structured format of your experience:

A Philosophical Journey: From External Validation to Inner Peace

Introduction

For many of us, life is a relentless pursuit of external validation. We chase fame, fortune, and societal approval, often at the expense of our own happiness and well-being. This was certainly the case for me for much of my life.

But then, philosophy entered my world. It became a catalyst for a profound journey of self-discovery, leading me to question everything I thought I knew.

The Power of Introspection

My exploration began with the writings of Aristotle in 1984. Each chapter of my life became a cycle of enlightenment, followed by the realization that my thinking was flawed. With each iteration, I shed old beliefs and embraced new perspectives, gradually graduating towards a less stressful existence filled with more questions than answers.

This introspective journey intensified in 2019. I delved deeper, asking myself even more challenging questions. My values shifted dramatically as I unearthed long-held assumptions that were demonstrably false.

I questioned my motivations, the origins of my beliefs, and the role that luck, privilege, and circumstance played in shaping my life. This relentless self-scrutiny led me to dissect my social circles, society as a whole, and even my own sanity.

Breaking Free from Illusion

The process was not always comfortable. Often, I found myself disagreeing with the majority of those around me. I began to see through the rationalizations, egos, and delusions that permeated society. The question that haunted me became, "Am I surrounded by fools, or am I the fool?"

The answer, I discovered, was a sobering paradox: both were true.

Self-awareness, I realized, is a far greater challenge than we imagine. It requires brutal honesty about our motivations, actions, expectations, and the company we keep. It compels us to confront the uncomfortable truth: most of what we do on a daily basis is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

Embracing Authenticity

Through this process, I made a life-altering decision: I would be my own hero. Regardless of external validation, I would treat my loved ones and the world with the respect and compassion I craved for myself. Honesty, even when it stings, became a cornerstone of my interactions.

Letting Go of the Bullshit

I made a conscious decision to shed the pursuit of:

| Category | Description |

|---|---|

| Success and Happiness | Meaningless versions of success and happiness |

| Materialism | Materialistic trappings |

| Relationships | Superficial relationships |

| Societal Expectations | Societal and social group expectations |

The things that captivated me in my youth – fame, prestige, power, and wealth – began to lose their luster. I contemplated how I would treat someone who could offer me nothing in return. What activities would I engage in absent praise, recognition, or acceptance?

Letting go of the need for validation from the "cool kids" was particularly liberating. It became clear that their approval was meaningless, especially when they themselves lacked genuine self-awareness.

Finding Wisdom and Acceptance

I now embrace the possibility of being misunderstood, ignored, or even ostracized for my beliefs. My focus has shifted to understanding my own motivations at a deeper level.

People's misinterpretations or indifference no longer faze me. My newfound self-awareness empowers me to navigate the world with authenticity and integrity.

Conclusion: The Beauty of Acceptance

My philosophical odyssey has transformed my worldview entirely. I possess a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. I have learned to accept things as they are, finding beauty and peace in the flow of life.

The relentless struggle against the current has ceased. While the future may hold challenges, I choose to relax, appreciate the beauty of the journey, and allow the current to carry me where it may.

[kelthoumrambles]

An ode to myself

I am slowly but surely integrating and accepting the fact that part of my recovery involves cutting ties with my family.

As someone said, it generally takes more time for your heart to accept things your mind has felt way before. I'm just like... I would have tried my best to show up as my best self but I unfortunately cannot make my dad emotionally intelligent. I cannot require him to be present for me nor to make him simply curious about me. In this case, if it is not done freely then it is not worth fighting for it. I am aware it is his first time living too but it is not my mission to keep on preserving him from the reality of things. I cannot keep on making me sick to my gut for things that are out of my control. I cannot keep on being silent to preserve the fake peace of my highly dysfunctional family. This era is over.

No one protected me when I needed it the most. No one protected the little 9 years old little girl I was back then. They believed that time would heal things by themselves but instead I just kept experiencing abuse, despair, loneliness, helpless and ended up spiralling into the darkest of places... Finding refuge in alcohol, drugs and fucked up people was clearly not what I wanted but having completely dysregulated emotions due to trauma and having created self-coping mechanisms for survival, things only led to one another.

I did not deserve that shit.

Acknowledging how fucked up my life has been those past twenty years hurts but it is paradoxically freeing.

Today, I am releasing my family, my dad, and all tensions that were and are not mine to carry. I am removing those heavy weights and burdens from my shoulders. I am living without feeling guilty of the choices I haven't made and of those I have made. I am thanking my body, my mind, my spirit, my psyche, my soul and my heart for being SO powerful. I am accepting what was then and I forgive myself. Despite it all and all and all, I am deciding to keep on going.

Today, I am awakening and taking back my freedom. I am taking back my power and directing it towards me, myself and I. I am shifting to my most authentic self. I am opening myself to my full potential. I claim my Highest. I claim my Greatest. Nothing is and will be out of my reach.

Today I am fulfilling the commitment I made to myself to be free and mad like a bird who just escaped an aviary. I am unstoppable... I am now starting to do all the things I've ever wanted to do (which involves pursuing the Arts and listening to birds singing).

May my path be full of opportunities and experiences that elevate my mind, my creativity, my kindness, my knowledge, my beauty, my love, my insatiable curiosity and my will to live fully this ethereal experience that was offered to me on planet Earth. May my path be full of kind-hearted, generous and caring people. May my path be of an abundance of blessings and surprises. May my health be the best I have ever had. May I live to my most authentic self. May I be protected.

I declare this New Chapter of my life open.

Amen.

[forzalife]

Getting Lost to Find Yourself

In the dance of life, there exists a paradoxical truth—sometimes, one must willingly lose their way to embark on the transformative journey of self-discovery.

The Art of Surrender:

Getting lost is not an act of aimless wandering but can become a toxic labyrinth of constantly putting out fires because you have become so lost. It's an unconscious decision to release the grip on things that make you happy and learn a new familiarity that is not your own. You let go of preconceived notions, and to allow the unpredictable path to guide the way.

As you relearn this new path, you begin to put down things you love that make you happy and pick up broke mindsets, terrible phrases that you repeat and begin doing things that are not in your nature.

Discovering the Unexplored:

In the midst of the new familiarity lies a realm of unexplored areas that open the mind up to poor choices. Getting lost takes us to the extreme beyond the boundaries of what should be our normality and comfort, opening doors to new unexpected experiences, unsafe perspectives and ideas, and facets of ourselves that we are willing to accept that may not necessarily be who we really are.

Embracing Vulnerability:

To get lost is to embrace vulnerability with a person that will use it against you.

It's an unknown acknowledgment that blindsides growth that often occurs inside the confines of the well-trodden marriage or relationship. In this type of vulnerability, there is NO strength, only weakness that breaks you down, experience by experience, word by word—a closing of a rich mind to be trapped by someone else's broke mind sets and immaturity. We slowly relinquish control and submit in accordance to what we think or what we think we have been taught to allow this journey to shape us.

Unveiling Resilience:

Navigating the twists and turns of being lost does require resilience. You must be able to recuperate from the constant and repeated maze you physically and emotionally find yourself in. It is in this that we attempt to overcome challenges, adapt to unforeseen circumstances, and continue repeatedly to find the inner strength to forge ahead with what we truly discover the depths of someone else's broken promises, lies and constant immature incapability's.

Rediscovering Authenticity:

In the absence of familiar landmarks of lies and the realization of a partners lack of commitment to the relationship, the essence of who we are begins to come to the forefront. After any traumatic body experience, the realization for the immediate need for change for yourself and those close to you become urgently present. Finding yourself then becomes a journey inward out of the being lost, a rediscovery of your own core values, passions, and authentic expectations, hopes, dreams and goals. It's a process of peeling away layers to reveal the true self that may have been obscured by the noise of the familiar. Rediscovering yourself and healing your inner parts become a mission to be faced and worked on at a pace that is healing. Even if that means revisiting the same issue/problem over and over again until you can move past it.

Finding Beauty in the Unplanned:

The premeditated unplanned detours and unexpected encounters of disappointment that come with being lost often almost always show us the most profound drama and tragedies that we have allow to happen to ourselves over time. Life can serendipitously weave its toxic tentacles into us and lead us into uncharted territories, gifting us with anxiety driven moments, uncomfortable connections, and sad experiences that become chapters in our life's narrative if we are unwell and do not realize we are on the merry go round and can not get off.

Cultivating a Mindset of Healing:

To find yourself again is to cultivate a mindset of healing—one that will allow you remember things that used to bring you happiness and the confidence to try them again. It's an invitation to approach life with curiosity, to welcome opportunities-new and old, and to savor the richness of renewed hope, goals and more importantly dreams that were once dead that have been resurrected.

As we embrace the mantra "Get lost to find yourself," we must embark on a healing journey of feeling the feelings that got us lost in the first place. It is in the act of losing our way that we often discover the profound truth: the healing journey itself is a destination, and within the labyrinth of the unknown, we can find the most authentic version of ourselves. So, let go, hold on loosely, wander out of the familiar, and revel in the beauty of finding yourself again on the path to discovering yourself again.

[zibethrose]

Happy Sunday beautiful souls💜 May your day be filled with love and laughter. Being heart-centered equates to being a warrior of light dealing with life situations in accordance with the guidance of your higher self.Recognize life is an ongoing adventure,where you get to become more yourself. Life grants you opportunities to discover and uncover the truth of who you truly are🤗 Permit love to underscore your every thought, word and deed.Decide what it is that you want to be written in this chapter of your life. Understand that though you are molded by the sum of your experiences you should never allow it to diminish your essenc

Remember to focus on the present moment, let go of what no longer serves you, and embrace your authentic self to live a fulfilling life.💜 Break free and release people, situations and things which have been holding you back from moving upwards and onwards with your life.To align to your soul is easy, just Follow your bliss. Choose now the path that feeds your soul. Don't let the “Why’s” keep you stuck in emotional misery. Pray to voice your gratitude and your concerns to filter your emotional state to better understand what serves you and what destroys you. Self-love equates to knowing you are enough and that is the most powerful knowledge to get you through life living your truth, without kowtowing to others' expectations. You are unique, there is no other quite like you so do not hide your authentic self from others.Be that person that embraces change, who challenges themselves to grow and stand with integrity. ..

* * * Please comment, share, like, subscribe and follow me @zibethrose

[soulvedablog]

Do not try to fit in: Be yourself to be happy

Have you ever caught yourself donning a different mask to fit in with others? Made an attempt to talk a certain way, look a certain way to be a part of a group? Well, we’ve all been there, whether it’s trying to be the cool kid in college or blending into the work scene. But here’s the scoop: constantly trying to fit in is like chasing a snake’s tail. It is a never-ending game and one sans any results. After a while, you realise it’s tiring and honestly, not as cool as it seems.

In fact, the pursuit of trying to be someone can take a toll on your mental wellbeing and create a constant inner conflict. Further, the pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction, anxiety and the overwhelming feeling of losing touch with your authentic self. So don’t try to fit in just because it’s fashionable to do so. Instead, join us in discovering the beauty of being yourself, because it’s way more fun and liberating than trying to adjust into someone else’s set mould.

The illusion of conformity

Sometimes, there’s this invisible pressure that makes us want to act like everyone else, even if it doesn’t feel right within. And fitting in can often feel like wearing a costume every day, it can’t be comfortable for too long. The constant need to adapt to what’s considered ‘normal’ can be exhausting. From altering our actual interests to aligning with latest trends, the burden of constantly adapting takes a toll on our mental wellbeing.

So it is essential to understand, that the pursuit of conformity is overrated and can negatively impact our daily lives. Remember, it is an illusion that we chase, so it obviously leads to no good.

Mental toll of constantly adapting

Ever tried to wear clothes that look trendy but make you uncomfortable? Or been to a party or two every weekend and felt like you could have spent those hours better at home? Constantly morphing into versions of ourselves to please others or meet societal standards is mentally taxing. In fact, the quest for fitting in can lead to suppressing our genuine interests, opinions and quirks, thereby hindering the discovery of our true identity.

What is worse, the constant need to be seen, heard or to fit in can also lead to anxiety, self-doubt and a disconnection from our authentic identity. Understanding this is the first step toward embracing the beauty of being true to oneself.

Celebrating authenticity

Embracing our uniqueness is not just a liberating choice; it’s a powerful declaration of self-love. When we wholeheartedly accept ourselves for who we are, it’s like giving ourselves a warm, affirming hug. By rejecting the overrated notion of fitting in, individuals can not only free themselves from conformity but unlock the power of self-expression and creativity.

By embracing our true selves, we can discover newfound creativity, innovation and personal fulfilment.

In celebrating our authenticity, we not only affirm our worth but also inspire those around us to do the same. The ripple effect of self-love has the potential to foster an environment where diversity is not just accepted but celebrated.

Rewriting our story

Contrary to popular belief, success isn’t reserved for those who seamlessly blend into the crowd. Examining the stories of individuals who carved their paths by embracing their uniqueness tells us that we can also rewrite our success narrative by staying true to our moral fibre.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment,” said the great American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson. Indeed, in a world that often nudges us to conform, the journey of embracing authenticity becomes a powerful voyage of self-discovery. When we say goodbye to the pressure of fitting in, we say hello to self-love and happiness. So, go ahead and be you, because in the grand story of life, the most beautiful chapters are the ones where we embrace our true, authentic selves.

Cheers to being wonderfully, authentically you!

FAQs

Why is fitting in considered overrated?

Fitting in is often seen as overrated because it involves sacrificing one’s authentic self to conform to societal norms. It leads to a loss of individuality and happiness in the long run.

How does constant adaptation impact our mental wellbeing?

Constantly adapting to fit in can be mentally exhausting, causing stress and anxiety.

What is the social cost of conformity?

Conforming to societal expectations often results in people having to sacrifice their personal values and beliefs. It also impacts their relationships and self-esteem.

How can embracing authenticity lead to creativity?

Embracing our authenticity unlocks the power of self-expression and creativity. It steadily allows us to tap into our genuine interests.

[crazyblondelife]

Take Back Your Power

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to repetitive and unconscious thought patterns lately and how I allow them to steal my power. My mind can think any thought I choose for it to think, but sometimes I go though periods of time where I let it run on default and that’s when my energy is off and life start to seem really hard.

I love listening to Joe Dispenza and he talks about how we allow the body to become the mind. In other words, how we do things without thinking just because it’s what we’ve gotten used to doing. Sometimes, we’re not even aware of the thought behind the action…our bodies just do it. A good example would be with eating…we pop things into our mouths without even thinking and then, we have feelings of guilt. This is just one example, but you get the idea. It’s cyclical and a cycle that can be broken with attention and intention.

What I’ve found helpful is very intentional meditation first thing in the morning, before I look at my phone or do much of anything else. As I mentioned, I’m reading a book called The Neville Collection and I’ve been reading a few pages of that in the early morning, which puts me into a state of knowing that I have control of my thoughts and that I can create my life, one thought at a time! Michael Beckwith says “Mind Your Mind” and that is where meditation comes in. We are pure awareness and have the ability to consciously be aware of what we’re thinking. I’ve been setting an intention to be very focused on my goals for the day and my long term desires so I stay on track. Going into a meditation intentionally, means being keenly aware of what thoughts are going through my heads, coming back to my breath and sitting there until my mind is calm and I’m ready to start the day. This is a time commitment that is well worth it.

I’m creating a life full of wonderful memories, abundance of every kind, good health and success. Holding that vision, instead of going back to the “what ifs” and thinking about problems, helps me stay focused on the future, while also enjoying the present moment.

I’ve found that it’s very important to read and study in order to keep my life moving forward in the way I want it too. During times when I allow myself to say I’m too busy to read a chapter of a book or meditate, I start to slip into old habits, old thought patterns and I get down on myself. Spending time in meditation, study, contemplation and imaginative visualization can be life changing. When I’m in this flow, I’m moving forward with positive energy and everything in life seems easier.

I’m not sure why I periodically forget this, but I do know that asking the Universe for “right next steps” always results in guidance that I never would have expected. I’ve written this before, but we are all “creative expressions of the Source of all things” and we hold that creative power within us.

Decide today to commit to living the life that you desire to live because your desires are there for a reason! Take time to take care of you and learn to love your very special unique self! Spend time in meditation, find a book or podcast or YouTube video that lights you up, journal, dream, visualize and I promise you’ll see a difference in your life. Sure, go get that massage or pedicure, but remember…those things are for pleasure and taking care of the outside. Take care of the inside first. Mind Your Mind!

Just a little reminder as we go into the second half of the year today! If you’re feeling like you’ve haven’t accomplished what you wanted to in the first 6 months, there’s still time to end 2023 with a bang! Stay focused…get out there and make beautiful memories! Remember that the most important thing is that you are your best self and that starts with deciding which thoughts you choose to think. Being your best, most authentic, pure self is the best gift you can give to the people you love and the world!

Happy Happy July 4th weekend!

[cassifictional]

Blue Rose - Ch. 1: the apprentice

Pairing: Caitlyn x fem reader

Warnings: mention of gun

Summary: an introduction to this brand new slow burn fic. You’re from Piltover and land a job that’s a lot more prestigious than you pictured for yourself. It’s a good situation for all parties involved. But nothing ever goes perfectly now, does it?

Word count: 900

Notes: welcome to my new fic. It’ll be a long one, and I’ll be damned if this ends up at the bottom of my to-write list again. I’ve had this idea for literal months. I’ve even got the ending all figured out this time. This chapter is really just an introduction, setting up the story and everything. It may be a little long-winded but I just have a very specific description of it all in my head and I really want to translate it all to actual words on a page. Please enjoy 💙

Living up to your family’s expectations had never really been your thing. You would wear the “wrong” clothes, date the “wrong” people, you had “odd” interests that they didn’t quite understand, or even try to understand. Yet, you didn’t desire to be “different”. You didn’t feel like you needed to be the “special snowflake”, the “black sheep” of your family. You simply wanted to be you. Your own authentic self. And it just so happened that your own ideals didn’t quite line up with your family’s standards.

Their complaining never stopped. Though their words were never harsh, never rude. Their complaints were subtle, persuasive and persistent, like the smell of a nearby bouquet of flowers. Thoughtful, but the sweet scent could get overwhelming at times. But you knew they only wanted the best for you. To watch you flourish and grow, ideally in a way that suited their own agenda. As much as they frustrated you sometimes, driving you mad with their desire for you to be like they wanted, you couldn’t help but love them. Because despite the way they made you feel sometimes, you knew they loved you back. More than they would dare to say.

Somehow, through a stroke of good luck, pure chance or maybe even fate, you had found a way to both appease your family and live up to your own goals and desires. The owner of the biggest and most beautiful decorative garden in the entirety of Piltover had taken a liking to you. You didn’t even know who she was when you had met her that day. She had found you in a local park, doting over a neglected rose bush in a quiet, forgotten corner. You told her all about your passion for all things nature, especially flowers, and asked her to visit the rose bush again somewhere in the future. One month later, she had done as you asked, visiting that same rose bush again. After seeing it in full bloom, she had been so impressed that she managed to figure out where you lived, just so she could offer you a job in her garden as an apprentice groundskeeper. And that’s where you were now. Tending to the many plants, bushes, trees and flowers within the walls of Blue Rose Garden.

Blue Rose Garden. Its name evoked a sense of mystery, deceit and opportunity in Piltover society. Blue Rose Garden is where all the politicians and aristocrats would go for “walks” together. It was considered the perfect neutral ground to have an amicable chat with either an enemy or a friend. There were plenty of quiet corners where one could discuss things better kept off the official records. Many feuds and partnerships were announced in formal circles, being settled through official procedures. But everybody knew that prior to getting to that point, all parties involved had “gone for a walk” in Blue Rose Garden beforehand.

You weren’t all that interested the latest high society gossip though. Sure, knowing the ins and outs of the latest family feuds and catching glimpses of important business deals being made, made your job a little more interesting. But you were mostly there for the very thing that got you hired in the first place. Your love for nature. Trimming the endless hedges lining the garden, pulling weeds, removing dead flowers, even mowing the grass. Tasks that wouldn’t make for a very prestigious job in most cases. But doing all of that in one of Piltovers most important locations? Suddenly, you were somebody. You had a status now. And your parents, who unlike you were slowly but actively trying to climb the ranks of Piltover’s high society, were thrilled about it.

A win-win situation, really. You got to do the thing you were best at and actually enjoyed, and your parents finally got their way. Sometimes, things really do work out in the end.

It had only been about two weeks since your employment at Blue Rose Garden had started. So far, it had been everything you could have hoped for, but it had also been very tiring and a lot to take in all at once. The senior groundskeeper was a kind older gentleman, carrying with him an endless amount of knowledge about every single living organism in the entire garden. With every day you worked, he taught you something new. Eventually, you would have to replace him and he knew it. But he didn’t mind. He just wanted his garden to be left in good hands once his eventual retirement came.

One rainy day in autumn, the groundskeeper had fallen ill and left you, his apprentice, to take care of Blue Rose Garden alone. You were confident in your ability to figure it all out yourself for a little while. You were already experienced, after all. As the rain poured, you persevered through it and did your usual work, starting with your favorite task, tidying up the roses. One by one, your tasks were completed, leaving you with only a little bit of daylight as you got to work on the last few chores of the day. The sound of the wind and the rain was calming, the harsh weather didn’t faze you. It had been a quiet day. People didn’t come to the garden often on dark and dreary days like these, for obvious reasons. That’s why, when you turned around to grab one of your tools, you were especially surprised to see a person standing behind you. Dressed in a long, black coat with a hood pulled over their head. And a large gun in their hands, pointed directly at your chest.

Notes: just so you know, if you have parents who pressure you into being like they want you to be (like in certain schools or jobs), just know that you would be entirely justified in not liking them as much as y/n in this story.