#being disabled and a lesbian is lonely

[2001fairyprincess]

everyone around me falling in love and im so happy for them but it just digs in the very possible reality of me dying alone. i just don't think i'm meant to be loved or wanted romantically in this lifetime. being disabled and a lesbian is so lonely.

[number1villainstan]

this pisses me off so bad, i shouldn't be thinking about it for my own mental health, but even with my somewhat limited knowledge of bnha canon the more i think about it the more examples i can find of boku no hero academia's rampant fucking ableism

[vasito-de-leche]

Do you have any specific queer headcannons of r1999 characters if so which ones and why?

I wrote a bunch of stuff for this post but then tumblr fucked me up and reloaded without saving it so here we are..... rewriting it all over again ... OAUGH. usually I default to seeing everyone as Vaguely Bisexual and Not Cis until stated otherwise, but you asked for specifics so here we go!

6 is aromantic or demiromantic.

On one hand, it's because I love projecting on my faves. On the other hand, it's because he genuinely doesn't feel like the type of person to be interested in relationships. But this isn't something that's tied to any potential disgust, repulsion or even trauma related to his Revelation and struggle against fate -- to me, 6 just doesn't feel romantic attraction. At the very least, nothing strong enough to consider pursuing. It's not in his priorities. I really dislike this specific thing that fandoms do in which every single character who is introverted, or who happens to be alone/isolated (either by chance or by choice) is secretly lonely, touch starved, pining and desperate for attention and romantic love. It feels like such a huge disrespect for their equally important platonic or familial relationships. 6 already holds a lot of love for his own community and his childhood friends, a type of affection that is shown in his subtle and unique ways. I like it when his character focuses on those aspects instead!

Mesmer Jr. is aromantic and asexual.

In her case, she's the opposite of 6. Mesmer Jr.'s trauma and OCD is much too intense for her to even consider the idea of an emotional or physical bond with anyone. She's disgusted at the idea of touching others so casually, and she's afraid at the possibility of allowing a person (someone she logically cannot have any control over) into her life because what if they throw her off her schedule? What if they mess every meticulous thing she's planned for herself and her mental stability? What if she loses her grip? Yes, it's plausible that she may find a partner who works perfectly with the way she needs things to be, and yes, you can headcanon that she heals and her OCD becomes "manageable" enough to have a stable relationship, but personally? I just like it when characters don't get to have stereotypical happy endings in which everything gets better through love and friendship and support -- like, yeah everyone loves to see their faves happy and all but eh... It's a bit of projection on my part! Some people don't get to heal and do all the things their disabilities prevented them from doing, even if we're given all this support and love. Some of us just have to find ways around these things, anything that works for us that makes our lives easier.

Sweetheart is queer but has a complex relationship with love. In a somewhat similar vein, Blonney has gone through every single letter of the LGTBQ+ community.

I tried my best to explain my thoughts on Sweetheart but at this point she deserves her own post because it's honestly a LOT, this single part was just too long so I cut it out entirely. Just trust me when I say she's queer and has a very complex relationship with love. In Blonney's case, we discussed the possibility of her being written as comphet and it got me to think a little about her. I see Blonney as the type of girl who presents as a straight bimbo, following the themes of her character and all, but who has constant crisis after crisis in the privacy of her bedroom, the only place she's allowed to be more than just a blondie. This constant journey questioning her orientations and gender happens entirely in her head and in private. I like to think that she just has these long monologues in her head. Sure, she's identified as straight her whole life, but maybe bisexual works better because there was that one girl she kept meeting under the bleachers. Oh, but maybe she's a lesbian, since all her boyfriends are just huge disappointments and none of them ever make her truly happy. Oh, but maybe that's just because she has bad taste in men, there was that one guy in class who keeps making her laugh after all. Ahh, this would be so much easier if she were a guy, her femininity is mostly performative after all. Ah, but she actually really loves pink and fashion... Nonbinary then? No, she's not the type to pick something so vague, it's one or the other. Oh, how about both? Genderfluid! Etc etc. If you ask her about how she identifies, she'll simply brush you off with a "What's it to you? That's none of your business, creep!" and move on, but this is something very personal to her. So far, she knows she likes being femme presenting and that she likes Jessica!

Eagle is a trans girl.

Have you guys seen those posts going around tumblr about how important it is that trans women exist because they fight for their own womanhood and girlhood in a world that constantly looks down upon feminine things and all women as a whole? Yeah. Yeah. Eagle being a scout that fights so hard to prove herself, the feelings of not belonging into the Boy Scouts and seeing how the Girl Scouts are created eventually, a space for her. The fact that she visits her father's grave so that he can see her grow up.

Kaalaa Baunaa, Oliver Fog, Medicine Pocket and Melania are probably bisexual, but they're super busy with work so they don't have time to address that.

Self-explanatory <3 I do like to think that Kaalaa and Medpoc are more chill about it, Kaalaa because she's a grown ass woman who is very mature, and Medpoc because they genuinely give no fucking shits about dating in general, so who cares about confirming whether they're bisexual or not. Oliver Fog is a little more flustered at the idea of exploring his orientation and whatnot, but it's tolerable. BUT MELANIA? I LOVE to think that she's FULLY aware that the MOMENT she acknowledges her bisexuality, she will have a crisis and then what will she do? She has 3 papers due next week and a heist this weekend, she can't possibly sit there wondering about liking girls! She's got things to do!

And here's the extra round of HCs that don't require that much text to explain or that lean towards being more silly!

Eternity has literally outlived the concept of gender. She/They royalty.

37 has QRPs instead. It Just Works. No one but herself and her partners understand the dynamics, though. As god intended <3

APPLe is a raging bisexual and has been spotted in many gay bars. Regulus is also bisexual.

The world would've been a better place if Bette was a butch lesbian.

Balloon Party and An-An Lee play with gender like its playdough.

Baby Blue is Not Cis and she's Not Straight either because none of that shit matters to her anymore, since she's been disconnected from reality and society for so long. She also doesn't care about labelling herself.

Diggers is trans, but no one can figure out which way exactly. It doesn't help that he refuses to clarify either. The same thing happens with John Titor, except she's very vocal about being a transwoman.

Bunny Bunny is bisexual but she hasn't realized this yet. In similar fashion, Horropedia is bisexual but he just forgets about it sometimes.

Druvis III as a trans woman goes hand in hand with Forget Me Not as a gay man. This is why they're both super divorced.

Leilani is pansexual because she prefers the colors of that specific flag over the bisexual one. Spathodea is pansexual because the personal distinction between pansexuality and bisexuality matters to her.

Tennant is bisexual because she can scam and seduce more people that way.

The Fool is nonbinary. Mf should've been born in the 2020's, I just KNOW he would've loved mirrorgender.

Zima is in the closet not out of shame but out of safety. Just in case.

Sotheby assumes that every girl in the world likes girls. So far no one has been able to prove her wrong because all she does is interact with other sapphic girls.

Pavia is nonbinary out of spite. But I also love transguy Pavia HCs so so so much, give that guy boobs, he would never get top surgery <3

Vertin is nonbinary too but she doesn't care about people knowing about it. She does, however, make the effort to be a little androgynous, as a treat for herself.

Madam Z and Katz absolutely had a Situationship going on during university. Katz was bicurious and Madam Z helped her experiment. Now the Situationship is between Madam Z and Constantine, the latter using Madam Z as a rebound after fumbling her relationship with Vertin's mother <- the machinations in my brain will astonish you.

TTT is genderfluid by virtue of being a picture on a TV, so I like to think she can just shift her appearance. In similar fashion, gender means nothing to Alien T and Voyager because they're aliens.

I specifically love the idea of all of the 1.2 gang joking about how Tooth Fairy is their token straight adult figure -- she's actually bi and asexual, but likes to keep that to herself so the kids can make their little jokes and have fun.

Enigma is gay and homophobic because his self-loathing is just that strong.

Turns out that the push Click needed to explore his own sexuality was getting killed on the battlefield, so now he's free to be gay. perhaps bicurious.

[luckyshinyhunter]

Having trouble finding some films to watch, especially now that it's pride month?

Well have no fear, because I have some that is recommended, whether queer or queer-coded, these are movies you should watch.

Despite being forgotten or criticize being "woke", Strange World is a underrated gem that join the list of underrated and forgotten disney films such Lightyear, Treasure Planet and Atlantis.

It has an gay main character and a diverse cast including an 3-legged dog. Inspired by classic sci-fi adventure film in the 50's and 60's, Strange World is fun adventure film about an generation of a family dealing with their own faults, also opening a door of possibilities with it's lore.

Freaky is a fun twist on the classic "Freaky Friday" trope, telling the story of a teenager who swap bodies with a serial killer, thanks to a mystical artifact.

Co-written and directed by the guy who also made Happy Death Day, Freaky delivers some gore-filled kills and feel good laughs while offering some parts of queer identity along with a gay character who proud of who he is.

The Fear Street trilogy itself not only joined the list of amazing horror films in 2021 but also an spot of queer horror.

It follows an romance of two lesbian teens in the 90's not only dealing with homophobia but also a ancient connected curse of the town of Shadyside.

Chalked with nostalgia of classic horror films like Scream, Friday the 13th and The Crucible.

Fear Street wins fans over with it's violent kills, remarkable characters, talented performances, and great and relatable queer representation.

Jennifer's Body introduced an another horror icon and bisexuality.

Megan Fox plays Jennifer Check who was possessed by a demon and targets on guys after being sacrificed by an fame-hungry band.

Tho Jennifer is not a lesbian, but the films does show that she is interested in both boys and girls, claiming she goes both ways and has some interest in her friend Needy, even kissing her too.

The cult classic not only has an amazing bisexual icon but tackles heavy themes such as assault, exploitation and the female gaze.

Bottoms is a must watch masterpiece, chaotic, brutal and gut-bursting funny, the film follows two high school friends that made a fight club to just hook up with two popular cheerleaders.

With an ridiculously unhinged final act, meet cute romance, and jokes that have you laughing your butt off. This 2000's coded movie is a a treat to start off the month.

After rewatching it again, Arlo has queer heavy themes if you think about it. Looking back, one of the film's characters, has some queer-coded hints about him.

I'm not going to spoil on the titular character, I think you should watch the film in order to get what I'm saying.

Other than that the film has an amazing soundtrack and has colorful characters as well.

Luca definitely is a queer film without a doubt. Focusing on two young sea monsters, spending an unforgettable summer in the town of Portorosso on the Italian Riviera.

It's themes of self discovery, chosen families, homophobia and acceptance.

This emotionally sweet sea-filled tale is a instant classic with a pretty much Canon couple too.

Robot Dreams also has hints of queer companionship and also is a story of loneliness, the film's out now, you definitely think you should see it.

Based off the comic in 2007, Robot Dreams is set in the 80's of New York City.

A lonely dog assemble and befriends a robot in a dialogue-less journey of friendship, love and rusted parts.

There's no surprises are a lot of clear queer-tonic themes in the films, especially among the two main characters, Robot Dreams is a perfect way to spend your summer.

Last year, Nimona was not only one final goodbye from Blue sky studios but is a part of the best films of 2023.

No surprise that the creator of the graphic novel also did Netflix's She-ra, the film is heavy on not only disability but also gender identity and transphobia.

it's a film that everyone will enjoy, thanks to it's commentary and electrifying performances by the cast, combine with pretty metal animation, Nimona is the film you should definitely watch.

🏳️‍🌈Happy pride month, hope all of you have a great day, and let me know on what think of these films.🏳️‍🌈

[heterophobicdyke]

I'm seeing so many bi women getting mad that most radfems prefer febfems to nonfebfem bi women and like zero of them saying a peep about how lesbophobic and misogynistic het partnered women are. A lot of women on here like to oversimplify the psychological effect one's partner has on oneself to "hurr dburr s*m*n make women stupid" but the only effect that disgusting secretion has is on women's vaginal flora/pH/vaginal health (yeast infections for one thing 💀), it's bending over backwards for males constantly to justify their shitty jakey's misogyny that then normalizes misogyny in their eyes, they can't acknowledge certain things as misogynistic without also being forcibly confronted with the knowledge they've been putting up with/sleeping with a misogynist themselves. osa women on here don't want to talk about that tho, they want to twist what women are saying because they're deeply uncomfortable that radfeminism is het critical and they don't want to examine their choice to pursue het relationships even knowing how harmful it is to them and every woman who knows them. Just like the makeup fandom shitting themselves and crying every time someone criticizes the toxic sludge they waste so much money and health on

I stopped calling myself a radical feminist years ago because even the theory treats every female experience as the same, as if misogyny is the only form of oppression and women don't experience further disempowerment if they are lesbian, POC, poor and/or disabled.

Het-partnered radfems will spend all of their activist energy critiquing gay men for things like drag and leather kink while they go home to OSA men who are attracted to women - the ones who actually rape us. Het-partnered radfems will have all the empathy for women who get botox and boob jobs but turn into Mean Girls when "discussing" trans-identified females (often lesbians), despite both types of females succumbing to gender and its expectations. Ironic how "radical" feminists have more empathy for conforming women than those who rebel the expectations of womanhood so much that they feel they can only survive by identifying as men. Again, feminine het women are the victims to "manly" lesbians.

I am tired of hearing how much women who are in relationships with men "hate men." I hate how much het-partnered women feel the need to overcompensate for their relationship decision with their lil radblr blog. I'm tired of them banging on about gay cultural things for GNC gay men like drag while literally sleeping with the enemy. I'm tired of het-partnered women expecting lesbians to abandon gay men in our shared experience of homophobia when they can't even abandon the men who rape us.

And you know what? Being bisexual and choosing a man while claiming to be a radical feminist is 10x worse than a straight woman doing so because you're actually attracted to women. You can't claim fear of being lonely, fear of having no sex, or whatever else. You're into women and you still chose a man.

So yeah, I am not a radical feminist. Because all it is is having empathy and unconditional love for the most conforming, privileged women while judging the gay and lesbian community's most vulnerable because they have a gender identity. As if straights need an excuse to hate gays though, right? Gender identity is just flavour of the month.

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen !! i hope it’s okay to come to you with this + i hope i make sense. i’m a disabled femme lesbian in my twenties and im kinda struggling rn, im in a wheelchair and i know it sounds dramatic but i worry i’m gonna be alone forever like my past experiences dating were when i could walk and be super active and now i’m not and i have noticed less women are interested in me now ( i don’t want that to sound entitled i hope not ) and the dating pool is already so small, events and gay bars are inaccessible here, i just don’t know if anyone is ever gonna want me again or if i’m gonna be alone forever. it’s hard cause i feel so behind all of my friends and everyone my age i get embarrassed trying to talk about how lonely and unattractive i feel to them, i just don’t have confidence in myself, time feels like it’s going by so fast and im missing out. sorry to bother you with this, thank you for being here and creating your videos and being so comforting and lovely !! 💗

I’ve been to fests and prides and small book clubs. Many attempt to make them accessible to as many abilities as possible. Women’s festivals set the example but it took women with hearing loss, impaired sight and mobility issues to make that happen. Self advocacy through sharing your ideas and thoughts can not only give you experiences with new friends who want to help and learn you will find others like you will begin to show up.

Not everyone, of course, has the personality, time or resources to be so proactive. Don’t despair. Lots of lesbians find their disability or limitations stumbling blocks to dating.

Use on line spaces or brick and mortar non profits as tools to find community. If you are in your community so are other lesbians. Find older lesbians at festivals, through non profits or on The Facebook. Look form”lesbians of (insert region)” Many of us find ourselves with bad knees , mobility issues or health issues we didn’t have before now so we get it. And often know others who know others.

Some butch(es) your age are out there with no judgement or preconceived notion about her femme. Keep looking. And know you deserve love for who you are.

[ijustwannareadfanficsomljebote]

Nurse Ann HC!!

I always Liked Ann. I am , in fact, a gay little weird girl . Unfortunately, the creepy pasta fan base never really popularised her , as she never had a proper backstory. So I decided to write down little general things , quirks and such about her .

Ann's full name is Annabelle Bernard. French is her first language, but she doesn't have a heavy accent. She doesn't speak often so her voice is raspy and cold . She is much more expressive with her body language rather than her voice . As a result of that she often comes across as cold , dismissive and demanding - or threatening even .

She is 6'1 and super strong , tho she always wears heels . Her feet are deformed due to that (she can't lower her foot fully on the ground ) , therefore she is a s l o w walker . She has her comically large chainsaw , but due to her walking disability she just ends up dragging it around slowly and loudly .

Thanks to that she never really turns the giant on . She does , however, take precise care of it . She cleans it weekly , tests it daily and even replaces everything that isn't perfect. She has this very sturdy , black leather case for it. My guess is that she stole a very expensive guitar case .

Annabelle definitely is a perfectionist. A nurse must keep everything tidy , clean , sterile even , working and insuring her patients are well mentally and physically ; appropriately dressed and behaved. She is a tolerant , stubborn and somewhat self righteous person with a clear preference for complying individuals.

Annabelle never learned to express herself in any way other than professionally and sarcastically. She is a deeply lonely but introverted person , so she doesn't really pick up social cues and she does get overwhelmed sometimes . That being said she doesn't feel comfortable acknowledging or acting on her emotions –rather , she over explains and over thinks her actings and feelings , forcing herself to be preoccupied understanding then instead of feeling them . I don't see her to be paranoid, but she is definitely a closed off individual ((she definitely has a diary/journal)).

Her love language is quality time and acts of service. I see her to be somewhat touched starved , but I don't think she would ever act on it all that much - a nurse must be a professional after all . If she were to warm up to someone , I think she would be kind of anxious and akward . As I said she doesn't really pick up social cues well , so having a friend (or anything more) is scary for her — you are never catching her confessing that .

Her pronouns are she/her/they/them and I think she is a lesbian, who is somewhat afraid of (never really had) commitment. Tho she is a caring , well spoken lover(?).

Ann isn't as old fashioned as she might seem , but she definitely prefers blogs and books over videos and pictures (if yk what I mean) . No one knows who , why or how made her . She calms she's been alive for so long she doesn't really remember. Matter of fact she forgot her original name (and who knows how many others) , Annabelle Bernard is simply a "lovely and polite" name .

She might not have a medical degree, but she does know everything and anything healthy , healing , relaxing and stressful. All the symptoms, sicknesses, medicines, massages, you name it . When it comes down to treatment it really only boils down to : if she has ingredients/ proper tools and ; if she has time for it / how urgent it is .

The whole memory thing is a bit suspicious tho... Just sayin .

But you try to go against a sadistic , cold , 6'1 woman with super strength and a comicly large chainsaw . I dare you .

I think journalism, reading and high maintenance self care is what keeps her sane .

She is definitely always ready and in full glam . Her hair is always perfectly blow-dryed / curled / tied , her skins(?) are always soft and smooth , she smells well 24/7 .... I think that she is very selective with who (and how) she treats , which leaves her with a lot of time for self care and cleaning.

She has a really specific way of doing things . She always takes her jewelry off , ties her hair up , puts a mask on , wears her apron and then her gloves . She never changed that routine , she can do it within minutes . With that said she has a scalper (scalpel??) collection , a first aid kit , bandages , pain killers and numbing medicine all in their respective bundles / baggies ; within her apron . She also has a small pocket used only for her 3 hair ties . No one is sure why she is the way she is .

I mean even her leg problems, just take your shoes off and perform some ancient ritual woman !!

[perplexingluciddreams]

having Thoughts and Feelings about gender and sexuality shit. again. so... here is some rambling:

i am definitely female + like being female (or at least feel neutral about it). except breasts. chest is the only thing i want to change about my body.

but also kinda a boy. but only in the way of specific things that i, personally, have grouped together and assigned the label of "boy".

and if i described my general stance on my own gender without using any labels, most people would mentally assign it as some variant of nonbinary (i think?). or "agender". but i don't like those words because i don't have a personal connection with what they mean at all.

pretty much all dysphoria stuff revolves around physical body for me - and part of my reasons for that is disability based (like sensory + causing physical pain, limiting clothing, limiting mobility, etc.). but also i have much lower awareness of my own body AND other people's bodies and physical characteristics that might make someone "clock" male/female. so there is a lot i don't care about, simply because i have never noticed it.

my preferences about how i am called - name and pronouns - is mostly about the choice, really. and he/him is one of the things that my brain groups together under the word "boy". which i like! i always wished i was a "boy" as a kid (but only in these specific ways that i personally thought of as part of "being a boy").

a BIG part of wishing i was a boy when i was younger was because all the boys i saw around me seemed so comfortable in their bodies and physically able to move around and command their bodies to do what they wanted. which is always something i yearned for. (and also something i will never have to the extent that i wish for, because i am simply too disabled).

but also really wish i didn't have all the gender feelings so i could just be... a lesbian??? or something. or something? i don't know.

also don't even know at all what my sexuality is (like, NO idea) and have no avenue to explore it all. literally no in-person contact with anyone outside of parents and sister. i can't work anything real out with only access to hypotheticals.

don't feel like i can base any labels i use for myself around other people (or my attraction to other people). because i am barely aware that other people exist majority of the time.

and have no sense of community with other queer people, not really. sure there is online a tiny bit, but i can't fit into that anywhere because i am too disabled. already said i have no in-person contact, so that affects this very much too. i feel very lonely and cut-off and isolated in this respect.

obviously, also the fact that i have such little awareness of how anyone else experiences gender or sexuality means that i will never have a "gauge" for where my experience fits in. no matter how well i express it (which also never feels good enough).

and most of all i wish that i wasn't the way i am. because even if i find the perfect way to express it, even if i find community in the future, even if i get top surgery and feel finally at home in my body - the world will always be more cruel to me because of the way i am.

already there is intrinsic difficulty and cruelty from the world because i am disabled, which cannot change at all. it is permanent. but i just wish i wasn't queer, as well, on top of that. it might make things a wee bit less complicated and difficult.

or maybe it is just that i want to be comfortable and happy. and wish it wasn't so difficult to be me. i don't know. i only know it is hard, and i want it to be easy.

anyway, ramble over. for now.

[npdclaraoswald]

Finally watched the new Mean Girls

Likes

Janis finally the lesbian we all know she is and always have been

I feel like we got to see more of Janis' art which makes Cady bailing on her show hit harder

Janis being a person of color gives Regina leveraging the predatory lesbian trope against her a whole new dimension, though not one that's addressed in the text

The cast is all phenomenal, but stand outs for me were Auliʻi Cravalho as Janis and Renee Rapp as Regina

Witht the caveat that I haven't seen the stage musical, I thought the songs were all really fun

The shit the girls do to each other feels so much more mean now because there's a social media aspect to it. The 2004 girls absolutely had a terrible time and would probably traumatized by it, but it at least wouldn't publicly follow them for the rest of their lives the way the internet shit will for the 2024 girls

Letting the girl who doesn't even go there rock a song made it feel less like the movie is mocking fat people

Despite Regina arguably being more awful in this version, she's decidedly more lonely and it makes her work better as a character

Really showing how much Regina has destroyed any sense of self worth Gretchen has

Gretchen calling herself fetch was cute, and I don't think (?) it happened in the original

Cady's mom calling her binti was cute

Renee Rapp has said she played Regina as a lesbian and it definitely shows

The costuming was (mostly) great

Dislikes

It's so full of itself whenever it says the iconic lines. They hold for applause half the time and Damian looks at the camera when he says "You go, Glen Coco."

That said, they did cut several of the iconic lines, though the only ones I have any particular feelings about are "If you're from Africa, why are you white?"/"Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!" And "Don't have sex or you will get pregnant and you will die!" I assume the Karen line was cut because Karen is a person of color in this version and it'd be not a great look for Regina to tell her how she can speak to white people. That said, I do still think Regina would do it, just in her house instead of the crowded cafeteria. And while the movie does make a crack at having a state mandated abstinence portion of health class, they do in the same sentence say later in the semester they'll actually be learning. When the point of the original line was to underscore how stupid, pointless, and dangerous abstinence only education is. Pretending like it's not a problem is a major downgrade

Karen's intellectual abilities have been downgraded even more, to the point where it doesn't feel like making fun of a girl who's never had to have a single thought in her life because daddy's money hands her every single thing she could ever need to think about, it feels like making fun of an intellectually disabled girl. I know it wasn't the intention, but it's how it feels

Despite the movie being much more diverse in terms of race, girl who doesn't even go here and Damian are the only fat people in the movie, and I don't think we saw any textually disabled people

No ending wrap up so Regina doesn't become a jock :( I'm personally taking this as her being permanently disabled by the bus crash, but that's not in the movie

Cady's costuming as she becomes more and less plastic is just this

Which was true in the original movie as well, but it's worse here

[kafus]

i wonder if i’ll ever be in a long lasting romantic relationship. i’m complicated as fuck and have a lot of baggage, i’m autistic and have DID, and i’m physically disabled, but idk i’d like to be optimistic that a girl could love me the way that i want to be loved someday and i could love her back and be comfortable, even though my bar is kind of high due to needing a certain level of emotional understanding

idk why i have Love on the mind so much today… i started thinking abt my really bad internalized lesbophobia and internalized misogyny and it just drifted. i’d like to be more proud of being a lesbian but it is Difficult

anyway i’m not particularly romantically lonely or anything, i’m totally fulfilled emotionally rn by friendships and ayano, so i guess i’ll deal with it if i ever feel that way

though even if i wanted to explore romance again i don’t have any friends who are girls LOL… LIKE ACTUALLY NONE. in terms of people i talk to consistently. it’s Funny. for a lesbian i sure don’t talk to women

[autisticmusings]

Lesbians and Ableism

I am a 26 year old autistic lesbian woman, and it’s made for an isolated and lonely life. I relate to very few people, and have always felt excluded from womanhood.

Which is why I knew I was a lesbians from a young age, and it was easier for me to accept my attraction to women. I’ve always felt like an outsider among women, and other lesbians have always expressed the same sentiment.

Which is why I expected more understanding and compassion from my community, but every time I’ve reached out for support or advice I’m shown nothing but deliberate misunderstandings, hostility and ableism. The last straw was recently, on a lesbian forum and a lesbian discord server, on separate occasions, I’ve looked for advice on my marriage and whether or not I should get a divorce.

And despite the fact that I am the one that got hurt, I am somehow always blamed for it- either I’m mean and shitty for daring to be angry about being hurt or I deserved to be abandoned and hurt because I’m autistic and my wife clearly has “caregiver burnout”. All of these people knew I was autistic but did not know the dynamics of our relationship or what all the details were, but automatically assumed I was in the wrong, entitled and a burden just because I have autism. When really, despite me being a level two autistic, I was the one in the caregiving role. I paid most of the bills, except for a year and a half where I worked part time, did most of the cleaning, cooked all the meals, etc. But just because im autistic then I must clearly be “wearing her out” and I’m entitled to expect her to do her part in our lives together. And I have heard other disabled lesbians have similar complaints- that just because they’re disabled no other lesbians want to have community with them, newly or temporarily disabled people are abandoned, disabled people get told we’re “too much” even if we clarify what our disability is, how it effects our reality and what we’ll need in our relationships.

Ableism, just like racism and fat phobia, is just as big of a problem in the community, and not nearly talked about enough. Lesbians, we will never have community if we don’t come together as lesbians and commit to actually being kind and loving towards each other, to be there for each other- that means even doing things that are uncomfortable, learning different communication styles and accommodating those around you who have different abilities and needs than you.

[kattahj]

Summary of half a dozen Thai BLs

Now that I've watched half a dozen Thai boys' love dramas, I thought I'd sum them up for people who haven't yet watched any, and think that they may want to.

First off: I recommend ALL of these. They're ALL very gay with happy endings. They ALL have fun plots and generally good acting. (There are some actors who knock it out of the park more than others, but they're spread out over all the different shows, and some appear in more than one.) If you're only going to watch one and you don't care about genre, I'm going to say Moonlight Chicken, but if it actually matters to you what the show is about and what kind of story it is, here's a summary of them all (in the order I watched them):

Moonlight Chicken

What's it about: The owner of a diner hooks up with a customer late one night, but is hesitant to let the encounter turn into a proper relationship.

Genre: Slice of life

Watch if you enjoy: Messy characters who get tangled in relationships in different ways. Family, including found family, and multiple gay couples. A fairly realistic view of gay life in Thailand (including the impact of a lack of marriage equality), and also issues such as class, disability, and the multiple effects of the covid crisis. My first BL and still my favourite.

Gayer version of: a Mike Leigh movie

A Tale of Thousand Stars

What's it about: A rich guy who gets a heart transplant decides to make his life useful by taking up the profession the donor left behind, namely as a volunteer teacher in a remote mountain village. There to teach him the ropes is a stern forest ranger.

Genre: Classic romance

Watch if you enjoy: People who are so in love everyone can see it, but still take ages to admit it. Secrets and lies. Scenes with cute children. The same main actors as in Moonlight Chicken. Pretty boys crying/fainting/in mortal danger.

Gayer version of: The Sound of Music

Bad Buddy

What's it about: The sons of two rival families, who are also members of rival university faculties, are way more in love with each other than they're willing to admit, even to themselves.

Genre: Romcom (or romantic dramedy, it gets pretty serious at times)

Watch if you enjoy: Belligerent sexual tension. Chemistry so thick you can slice it with a knife. The couple getting together halfway through the show, and that's just the start of their troubles. Environmental issues on the side. Adorable lesbian side couple. Love songs. Metaphorical homophobia in a world with no actual homophobia.

Gayer (and happier) version of: Romeo and Juliet

He's Coming to Me

What's it about: Lonely ghost who can't seem to move on makes friends with a young boy who is the only one who can see him.

Genre: Paranormal romance with a side of murder mystery

Watch if you enjoy: Cute ghosts. The hijinks when people don't know that the ghost is there. Having your heart broken only to have it mended again. Absolute himbo main characters. Fantastic coming out scene. Surprisingly cute het side couple.

Gayer version of: Julie and the Phantoms

Not Me

What's it about: After a young activist is beaten into a coma, his twin brother secretly takes his place, trying to find out what happened.

Genre: Action-adventure with a political bent

Watch if you enjoy: Bikers doing parkour. The softest babiest man in existence trying to pass himself off as a badass. Lots of discussions about law and justice, and absolutely wrecking the lives of rich assholes. Any of the following: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, or friends and possibly lovers to enemies.

Gayer version of: The Parent Trap crossed with Face/Off.

The Eclipse

What's it about: Rules at a high school are strictly enforced, with threat of a "curse" against those who break it. A rebellious new recruit immediately clashes with the head of the prefect club.

Genre: High school drama, mystery

Watch if you enjoy: Aggressive flirting. Teenage rebellion. Old stuffy school being shaken up. Getting to see First and Khaotung stretch their acting muscles (they play side characters in some of the shows above). Multiple gay characters. Homophobia dealt with directly as well as indirectly.

Gayer version of: Dead Poets' Society

Feel free to ask questions if you want to know more! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try a seventh show. :-)

[mithliya]

I just turned 27 and I’ve never even gone on a date. Please tell me there’s hope for lesbians like me (a mixture of not knowing I was lesbian and thinking I was asexual for all my teenage years and early 20s and also being disabled and in a pretty small town with no other lesbians) how do you even meet other women wtf 😭

there absolutely is hope! there are actually MANY lesbians who are even in their 30s and have yet to go on a date. it happens to even straight women, and lesbians have a much more limited dating pool so of course it’s even more common for us.

dating as a lesbian is already tough, but it’s even tougher when you live in a small town. i’m from a village in bahrain which admittedly is different from western people’s ideas of villages but bahrain itself is super small and isolated by virtue of being an island. while i was there during covid, i felt such loneliness fr! i felt like i was never going to find a woman. even dating apps didnt help much. i did end up moving & beforehand i was seeking out women in the area i was moving to which is how i found my gf. i also know theres lesbians from small towns who found women that are further away but they found someone nonetheless.

honestly it takes time, no matter how attractive you are or whether you live in a city or anything else. if you feel ready to date, i recommend trying stuff like dating apps to see whats out there and maybe starr talking to women, build up your confidence, and understand tbe dynamics. with time youll also notice that to be able to date as a lesbian, you need to be willing to put yourself out there. if you wait for her to make the first move, then you risk no move ever being made. if you’re too subtle and meek, then it might go nowhere. take risks within your comfort zone, as scary as it sounds, and do what you can to be more confident bc women LOVE that from my experience. if it doesn’t work out, which will likely happen to you several times, youll see that you havent really lost anything from it and youll be just fine then too. this is ofc only if you do want to give it a try but have limitations or fears around it!

but honestly anon you have nothing to worry about— for one, many lesbians come out in their 20s. many lesbians are virgins even well into their 30s or even later sometimes. there is no set timeline for these things and theres also always a way out of that. it can feel very lonely and isolating, but such feelings are not permanent nor are you alone in having them. it’s a very common lesbian experience as sad as that may sound

also if ur interested,, maybe joining the dykery (lesbian server i have linked in my pinned) can help you. there’s a channel for dating where you can ask for advice and hear from other lesbians and youll see it’s actually not rare at all for some lesbians to be virgins while in their late 20s or 30s, many lesbians are also celibate for their own reasons, many have similar reasons as what you’ve mentioned for having never dated too. so if u feel alone in that regard, maybe seeing that theres many lesbians like u will help.

[kiindr]

Hey I wanted to just kinda share my success story here because I think it's important for people to hear

Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, self harm, eating disorder, being young, mild sexual harassment, anti-depressants, anxiety meds, and sedatives, toxic relationships ('romantic' but it was petty and short, so I'd say mostly friendships), and talking about therapy and mental hospitals.

- Just turned 15 recently (Present)

*FIRST YEAR*

- Was 11, in 6th grade, when covid hit hard

- Sister has mild disability in her legs so my family was extremely extremely cautious to not catch the 19 because viruses trigger it

- At this time my thoughts were as follows:

"Emotions make me weak"

"Crying is a sign that I'm not strong and confident"

"If I can just get rid of these god damn emotions I can manipulate and gaslight my way through life and be successful"

- I was so desperate for attention I would seek out negative attention. And not sexual negative attention or doing weird stuff... I mean I would sit in gaming chat rooms and tell people to insult me for hours.

- I didn't know crap about mental health at the time

*SECOND YEAR*

7th grade. 13. My lowest. God, so fucking low.

- Still desperately sought out negative attention. I was the weird girl and the pick-me girl in one. I was convinced that if I just brushed off every insult and wrongdoing to me, I'd be "chill" and "fun"

- Hang out with people that used me as entertainment when they were bored, yelling at me and degrading me and insulting me and the worst part is that I LIKED it because I was just so damn lonely

- Started dating some boy. He was 12 I was 13. We never really talked to each other. We were making out before he ever said he wanted to be my boyfriend.

- Soon he was pushy, and disgusting. He would dry hump me, rut against me, spit into my mouth, squeeze my throat...

- And I never said no. Because I was so scared of losing what I had convinced myself was someone who actually loved me.

- But when I tried to 'lightheartedly' protest, or struggle or try to get out of his grip, he would grab me and pin me down and no matter how much I tried to escape he would just force me not to move and he didn't ever actually penetrate me but dear lord that horny ass 12 year old boy had boners more often than not. I didn't tell anyone bc I was scared that they'd be mad that I didn't tell them sooner.

- Also went through a huge identity crisis. It wasn't because I was trans, it was because I wasn't allowing myself to be me so I didn't feel like ME and so I turned to the easy thing. At one point I was "Demiaro pan genderfluid trigender"... I'm just a cis lesbian though.

- My thoughts at this time are as follows:

"Oh."

"I don't care."

"Eh"

"It is what it is"

"I want to sleep"

"I wish I was sleeping right now"

"I can't be here, I have to go"

*SECOND PART OF SECOND YEAR, WORST TIME OF MY LIFE*

- I hate my body. I dont eat all day long. I don't eat lunch at school and told my friends I prefer to eat at home and at home told them the opposite.

- I can't take it one day and I cut myself with a dull old xacto knife.

-It's addictive. I've been punching myself for ages, but cutting is completely different. It made me feel like everything would be okay... for a few seconds... and then I'd look down and all there would be is blood and a rusty blade and a mark that will never be erased.

- I begin to feel suicidal. I think about how much easier it would be to just not exist. I sleep 24/7 so I dont have to be conscious

- I begin to throw up all my food to try to be skinnier

- I progress, I'm fantasizing about killing myself and I'm writing out 3rd person blurbs of me doing it. I drew it too. It was all that consumed my thoughts. It wasn't long until I couldnt trust myself at all to be alone for a minute.

- Living is just so hard. I couldn't describe it then, and I can't describe it now. There are simply no words that will begin to encompass the sheer delusional, wrenching, miserable agony of what that low low feels like. I am positively amazed at 13 year old me for every day she woke up and lived.

- Im missing 1-2 days of school every week. My grades drop, hard

- We try a new anxiety med with my therapist that is known to potentially cause suicidal thoughts. I see it as my chance

- In a month my parents are checking in with me, making sure I don't feel suicidal

- I kindly inform them that I, in fact, am. Very.

- I sleep in their bed at night. I silently get in and we turn the lights out and we all silently cry ourselves to sleep every night.

- I come foward about everything

- We switch meds, I'm getting treated for not OCD but now depression and the likes

- The biggest thing in my life was recovering. Every day I worked SO fucking hard to recover. Every time I opened my eyes in the morning, or put on clean clothes or went to school or took a shower or said hello to someone or finished my homework or ate something was a MASSIVE battle. It was so tiring. I was SO tired.

*THIRD YEAR*

- Over the summer, I'm able to continue to work on myself without worrying about school, it helps a ton.

-Come the school year I'm 6 months free of self harm, no longer suicidal, and eating healthy and balanced meals. I'm into fitness, as running became my coping mechanism for self harm urges (Because running is horrible 💀). I'm going to school almost all days and I'm dropping friends that were bad for me and open myself to new friends.

- It's still hard, I still struggle with my OCD and severe social anxiety, but the depression is so so much better.

- My birthday comes. I'm turning 14. It was so amazing... I was excited for it.

I was EXCITED FOR IT.

I CARED.

I was excited to see my family and I was excited to have a yummy dinner and I was excited to open Presents! I didn't feel like a burden or like gifts for me was a waste of money and my party a waste of time.

This happens at Christmas too. It's so hopeful for me.

- I dunk back into depression towards the end of the school year but resurface a few weeks into summer even better

- We take month long vacation where me and my lil sis have full access to the city and everything while my parents work in our camper. This was so impactful on my social anxiety. I was empowered by my independence.

*NOW*

- I've learned to set boundaries

- I have a healthy friend group with wonderful communication

- I feel HAPPY at least once every day (!) and I let myself cry and it feels so good to let it out and I let myself be sad or angry or dissapointed

- Im not afraid to ask for what I need (Okay well I'm afraid but I've learned to cope with that fear and do it anyway). People like me BETTER when I just ASK for water when I'm thirsty, or I just ask if I'm allowed to use their TV, or I just ask for some milk because Asian food is too powerful for me (😔).

- I have learned how to NOT give advice and just listen. I can hear someone's problems and not want to fix them.

- I have learned what I can and cannot control

So, in summary, I was just in the PITS and I am in awe of myself for my recovery but I am BETTER now. I feel GOOD.

The biggest piece of advice I have to anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts is to think about how PROUD future you will be of you for every day you hold on. Future you will try to give you hugs and comfort and they cant... not until you reach them. Future you is watching from above and sees your path to recovery but in the thick of it you can't see it. Future you is counting on you. Don't let them down. Just, hold on. They deserve a chance right?

(I'm sure this is littered with typos so I'm sorry about that, I don't have the energy to check right now, it's kinda late and I have to get up early)

♡

i love this!

i am so proud of you!

<3

[jerrydevine]

ok movie may rankingsssss its quite frankly soooo fucking long so i put it under a read more :) MWAH

31. moonage daydream 2022 um so when todd haynes basically said that reagan being in power was david bowies fault in velvet goldmine i get what he was saying when i watched the second half of this. it was so annoying listening to bowie talk about how he was like crazyyyy back then now hes normal (annoying and not in a fun way) boo

30. ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains 1982. ok this was actually a flop i wanted to like it so bad but i did not. boo

29. the daytrippers 1996. this was such a movie my indie snob cousin loves. it kind of felt like a long ass seinfeld episode. sorry women. the gay reveal was not. fun. it was 90s straight people trying to do a twist :/

28. muppet treasure island 1996 was ok. it was no the great muppet caper ..

27. spontaneous 2020 i did cry because of this movie i thought it was just gonna be a silly heheh good bad movie but i did cry. and they played forth of july sufjan stevens :(

all the movies after here i would rewatch and i liked :) i had a good movie may !!

26. descendants 2 2017 was not as good as descendants 1 or 3 to me now .. but thats ok they literally had chillin like a villain and the letterkenny guy

25. descendants 3 2019. hmmm i wanna keep her by descendants 2 just so theyre not lonely in this list. the plot was like ok mal having to do her morality thing again thats ok. evie was soooooo izzy lightwood and her loser ass march band boyfriend was sooo simon :)

24. murder on the orient express 1974 was better than death on the nile 1978 and there was a character with my name :) but i think i do not care as much about agatha christie mysteries as i thought i would. thats ok :)

23. arrival 2016 is prob one of the first times i knew about the specific field of the protag and it made me so mad because i spent the whole movie like. she would not fucking do that. she would not say that. come on. and of course the u.s. propaganda was like a frontal migraine but i guess it was good

22. the handmaiden 2016. why didnt anyone tell me about. you know. the plot of the movie. great lesbian sex but what the hell wasall that. 

21. donnie darko 2001 was like ok what . fine ok whatever

20. emma 1996 holy shit i watched a lot of 1996 movies this month. ummmmm ewan was there and it was literally emma. what more do you want me to say. it was good ish :P

19. dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves 2023 was so long no movie should be longer than 2 hours but it did feel like playing d&d with my buddies and sophia lillis was there :')

18. i know what you did last summer 1997. its like none of you even care that kevin williamson who wrote this AND scream 1996 is literally a gay ass homosexual man. and my friend.

17. red army 2014. i feel like this should be its own other thing because it was just a movie i would watch at 15 to learn as much about hockey as humanly possible. and not for fun for like mental illness reasons. anyway hockey :)

16. crip camp: a disability revolution 2020 is like red army 2014 like. informative and interesting documentary ! not able to rank it with fiction films i dont think so dont take its spot too seriously.

15. poison 1991. dont worry about it im just studying todd haynes and this movie was not as good as other movies i watched this month but actually its the best movie ever after velvet goldmine. or not its not in my top 3 todd movies of all time but thats ok it still set up many of the things he talks about in his later films esp the connection between the horror section and safe 1995 :)

14. the secret world of arrietty 2010. i didnt watch this until this year bc it was released just after when i would sit down and watch a new little ghibli movie. i wanted to rewatch totoro more than watch new ones.but it WAS the borrowers sooo fun :)

13. monty python and the holy grail 1975. they made lancelot soooooooo ugly which was like a joke in itself to me because lancelot would never look like that. but umm yeah my dad loves this movie and so many little jokes i thought were just family jokes were actually from this movie hehehe

12. the great muppet caper 1981 literally had peter falk in it and they knew they were in a silly movie and they kept saying kermit and fozzie were twins it was so silly and fun :)

11. seven up! 1964. british people getting studied is literally so real and true. i cant wait to continue in the series and see how these kids change.. 

10. some like it hot 1959. I NEED TO WATCH MORE MARILYN MONROE MOVIES ASAP BTW THIS MOVIE ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. this is spinal tap 1984. ummm yeah this was good. very good even. and christopher guest from my movies was there doing a horrible accent it was awesome :)

8. dottie gets spanked 1993. okok this is my todd haynes auteur studies and it is such a short film that foreshadows his future work i love you forever and ever my best friend todd haynes :D!!!!!!!!!!

7. videodrome 1983 had crazyyyyyyyyyyyy special effects i enjoyed the blowing up bodies and the tvs trying to kill you and the toronto..

6. big eden 2000 i wish they didnt have that whole plot with his high school bestie that was annoying and not whimsy but everything else and i mean EVERYTHING else was sooooo good and beautiful and i love you movie

5. elvira's haunted hills 2001 YIPPEE ELVIRA!!!!!!! RIFF RAFF WAS THERE!!! she talked like she was still a 2000s california girl but in 1850s europe it was awesome

4. rye lane 2023 was sooooo good and love is real and i need to go to england or i will die . woah that was an anglophile ass sentence but its true.

3. stardust 2007 YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO basically thats it. it was a movie that loves whimsy and the power of love. beth please watch it i mean it you would love it soooooo much 

2. the watermelon woman 1996 i love you lesbians i love you movies i love you movie lesbians. everyone should watch it its soooo good

1. velvet goldmine 1998 my best friend forever of course no one could be better <33

[chenanigans]

I love how none of my dnd characters are consistent. We got:

Rawhide Kobayashi

Albino Red Grung

Gloomstalker Ranger

A himbit (himbo and Timbit)

He raises cattle that are giant woolly aphids and beetles

He’s a little frog cowboy who went to the tundra to save his papa

An absolute cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you

Maridia Fusilli

Rosy Maple Mothfolk

Aberrant Mind Sorcerer

Feral teen who loves maple syrup

She’s a moth sorcerer who’s hellbent on getting revenge on the demons who burnt down her tree, disabling various members of her family

She’s going to magical girl school

Looks like a cinnamon roll, wishes to bathe in the blood of her enemies

Dalrymple “Dal” Iniqine Cyr

Tiefling Werewolf (aka Shifter)

Samurai Fighter

Himbo energy but a lesbian

Loves women and is very lonely

Bffs with Rawhide

Looks like she can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll

Dr. Maiken Cyraeni Grebella

Blue-Ringed Octopus Simic Hybrid

<Armorer> Artificer

Grumpy scientist who’s good at biology and technology

She cares more about inventing than adventuring

Looks like she can kill you, will definitely try to but probably can’t

Mercy Mousse

Myconid

Spores Druid, <Glamour Bard>

Left her home to become a pop star

Is always cheerfully singing and dancing

Her music and back-up dancers are a bit macabre

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll

Razmi McDazzl

Changeling

Eloquence Bard

Is apparently a good accountant

She loves money and will do anything for it

She is very charming so it’s hard to see through her lies

Looks like she can kill you, probably won’t but will trick ya

Delphinium “Delphi” Speedwell

Blue-Green Grung

Chronurgy Wizard

Biggest and fattest grung from her town

She’s a gentle “giant“ among her fellow grungs, but won’t hesitate to beat your ass if you threaten her tribe

She went from student to headmaster of her school very quickly and she’s very sad about it

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll, but also can kill you

Sorro Levki

Black Tabaxi

Fathomless Warlock

Drowned and came back because of his new patron

Doesn't like to fight but has to fight and make offerings to his patron

Misses going to sea, but is thought to be bad luck/a bad omen due to being the sole survivor of his shipwreck

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll

Nithi Blightkiller Kalukukané

Orange Grung

Gloomstalker Ranger, Scout Rogue

Absolute grouch

Doesn’t want to be bothered and just wants to steal and murder in peace

She only targets shitty folk

Looks like she can kill you, can kill you

Cherome “Cherry” Sedum

Cape Rain Frog Aasimar

Wild Magic Sorcerer

A very small and sad girl

She grew up in an abusive cult, but now is with a loving party she considers her family as well as her frog family too now

She’s getting stronger and radicalized to destroy parliament

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll, but can also kill you

Celesse Moonstone

Star (aka Fire Genasi)

<Stars> Druid

Came to [insert planet here] because she loved humanity, especially their art

Is a literal ray of sunshine

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll

Cheer Sympathy Gritish

Tiefling

Order Cleric, Champion Fighter

Harmacist

She works at Delphi’s school as a guidance counselor and a combat healing teacher

Extremely loud

Looks like she can kill you and can kill you

Dangeline “Danny/Dan“ Wolfsbane

Horned Toad (Zariel Tiefling)

Wild Magic Barbarian

She looks scary and intimidating but she has a big weakness for smaller frogfolk and kids

She cares a lot about getting people out of bad situations

Looks like she can kill you, can kill you, but is also a bit of a cinnamon roll

Lulamin Helianthus

Honeybee Fairy (aka Fairy)

Crown Paladin

Bee who always ends up in a situation

Rode a train and had an awful time, performed in a play and had an OK time, literally trying to get home

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll, but can also kill you

Rulaberri Humwallon Dianthus

Carpenter Bee Fairy (aka Fairy)

Devotion Paladin/Wild Paladin (Homebrew)

Sweetie bee who is 99% of the time unaware of who gods are

Got a cushy seat in Oberon’s court as the God of Flowers

Became queen bee under sad circumstances

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll, but can also kill you

Mimi the Mimic

Mimic (aka Plasmoid)

Beast Barbarian

Will eat people and animals alike and sees no issue with that

No moral code, sadistic, no empathy

Can be swayed easily with food

Looks like she can kill you, will kill you and then eatcha

Wislande Ritha Fanfan

Entler (aka a homebrew race)

Eldritch Knight Fighter

Pure of heart, dumb of ass

She likes art

She’s from Canada, traveling the USA for art inspiration reasons

Absolutely does not know anything about America and how to traverse it

Looks like a she can kill you, is a cinnamon roll, but can also kill you

Bonnycastle Funfetti

Ex-wedding cake (aka Plasmoid)

Dreams Druid

A literal and figurative sweetie

Became a Dreams Druid to help other’s dreams come true

Looks like a cinnamon roll (cake), is a cinnamon roll (cake)

Wruth Carol Firhug-Hollyleaf

Christmas Elf (aka Rock Gnome)

Swarmkeeper Ranger

An elf who would rather disappear into the woods than work in a toyshop

Eventually became a forest ranger instead of a toymaker

They miss their birth parents dearly, but love their adoptive family a lot too

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll, but can also kill you

Claudette “Claude“ Sanon

Ghost Ant (aka Thri-kreen)

Assassin Rogue

Likes sugary/fruity drinks, being a flapper, and being a very good assassin

She ditched her anthill for a more self-indulgent, less community-focused lifestyle

Looks like he can kill you, can kill you

Is the only character of mine to die and is now piloted by my DM as a totally normal not remade by a space lich guy

Merino Mittenmere

Tortoiseshell Tabaxi

Artillerist Artificer

She a granny and loves her kittens and grandkittens

Has committed war crimes

Looks like a cinnamon roll, can also kill you

Manon Pastelle

Fierna Tiefling

Life Cleric

She sounds and looks all doom and gloom but says the nicest, most positive shit

A pastel goth

She is a doctor who cares deeply for her patients

Looks like she can kill you, is a cinnamon roll